Johnny Flash (1986) - full transcript
Johnny Flash Comedy.
[File starts with 5 minutes of trailers.
Feature starts at 05:20.]
BOOKING AGENCY
BREAK & A & LEG
BOOKING AGENCY
♫ What can I do?
♫ I'm done for
♫ So what, if people laugh
♫ Things will work out somehow
-Is the box closed?
-Yes, it is.
Very good. Let's continue, then.
Jacket, chair... One moment, stop, stop!
What do you thing you're doing? Listen!
-Get me the file... "Hamburg State Opera".
-Will do, one moment.
-Did you fix the light?
-No.
-I'll have to give it another try.
-No, you sure won't.
-Why not?
-Unbelievable!
Unbelievable. What is it that you're doing
here? You were supposed to fix the light.
-Practice being an electrician, won't you?
-Well, can't I... as a singer...
Thank you. Have you finished up the
contract for those three crooks?
Bye, why don't you go already. Call a new
electrician. Terrible!
It's only getting darker. Every time this
electrician comes around.
Say, write to his company, they should
send someone else. Enough is enough.
-I'll do that.
-What's this file? "Copies"?
-I told you "Hamburg State Opera".
-My mistake, sorry.
And please file this away, too.
-Here you go.
-Okay. Yes, now we're talking. Finally.
Try to concentrate.
-Oh... damn!
-Can I help you?
-My radio doesn't work.
-Won't take a minute.
-You know how to handle this?
-Of course. I'm an electrician.
Electrician, great! On with it!
Do you know what's the problem?
-And we're done.
-Oh, great!
You've got rhythm in your blood!
-You are an expert in music?
-Yes.
-Are you a professional musician?
-I'm an electrician. I already told you.
But I'm also making music.
I did pop songs.
-Did you perform somewhere?
-Yes, can I give you my card?
-If you have car trouble again.
-Jürgen Potzkothen.
I'm Cornelia Dohm. From "Music Full". You
know? "Music Full", full of music.
Thank you, I'll come back to you.
All right.
Jürgen, won't you get up already?
Jürgen, come on and get up.
Coffee is ready.
The eggs are getting firm.
The crown prince of the Netherlands
produces 900.000 eggs a year.
If we could do the same.
Jürgen, get up already!
Boy, you're my problem child.
Jürgen?... Jürgen?
Jürgen, you really must get up now!
You've got another job interview today.
Elsa told me the other day that her aunt's
son-in-law found something terrific.
In an electronics store.
He's very happy there.
He also got married.
A working electrician
can feed a whole family.
Jürgen! Jürgen, now it's really time
to get up.
Coffee's ready, too.
-Jürgen!
-Yes?
Hello... Elke? What's going on?
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
-Jürgen, you'll always be staying with me.
-♫ If you'll leave...
You have to practice, first. And even then,
you'll have to stay with me a good while.
-Yes, I...
-Jürgen, get dressed now!
Then we'll continue talking. I want to
finish with this breakfast.
"Crazy guy tried to shoot Anne." Jürgen,
what's the name of your girlfriend?
I don't have a girlfriend, mom,
you know that.
If you practiced in that field, you'd have
found one. A long time ago.
Jürgen, get on with it already!
♫ I want to spend my life with you
-But Jürgen, that's no way to sing this.
-♫ Hold me tight
-Here it says: "There's music in the air."
-♫ I am alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
Jürgen, those are terrible songs.
-♫ Come back to me
-This way you won't land a chick.
-Come here and have breakfast!
-That's my problem.
I'd love to have problems like that.
Elke, wait a minute. Someone's at the door.
I'm expecting for someone.
I'll be back in a second.
-I'm coming!
-Oh, I'm sorry.
Miss Dohm, did you get my cable?
Uh, sorry, got it here myself...
-You have a cable for me?
-Hold this, won't you?
-I need your signature.
-Of course.
-Here, at the sign.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
-Goodbye.
Sorry, you still got my pen.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Goodbye.
Elke, I have to hang up,
there's a cable from the station.
Let's talk tomorrow again.
I'll call you. Bye!
Jürgen, where's the
Grafschafter [company name] applesauce?
Don't know. Hidden.
Jürgen, didn't I tell you...
Oh, there it is.
Prepare a piece for me, too.
I'm really in a hurry.
Prepare your own piece.
I won't prepare a piece for you, just so
you'll make it to some booking agency.
You won't find a
piece of ass in this kind of job, anyway.
You'd have to get up earlier for that.
But when?
When does one have to get up to get one?
Well, bakers get up at 4 am.
And they always have fresh pastries.
Not like here, with this old Graham bread.
Huh, so what. A baker eating pastries or
Graham... I don't know anything about that.
-What do you know, anyway?
-I'm a musician.
-I know about music.
-Musician, musician.
What do you mean, canceled? And now what?
He can't, he's on tour. He can't either.
Him I booked for that thing.
No, we really need somebody.
Oh, I know someone! My new discovery,
but he's perfect for this.
Not yet, but we'll trim him to size.
Very versatile, great guy.
You know me, I'll get it done.
-I want adventures!
-Adventures!
-Do you understand? Do you get that?
-I'm asking myself, then...
...why you're lying in bed all the time
when you're out for adventures.
-I'm out of here.
-Electricians can have adventures, too.
-Mother, I...
-Enough, leave me alone, now.
-Don't be upset, things will work out.
-Just leave me be!
There's a hit in this suitcase. Please
believe me, it will be a hit!
You never listen to me.
Take care of your bike, Jürgen.
Wait, Jürgen! Jürgen!
Your suitcase! Jürgen! Jürgen!
Your suitcase. Always so thoughtless.
-Bye!
-Bye!
I've got a new joke.
I've got a new joke.
I've got a new joke.
-And I've got a new cigar.
-Do that again.
Let me show you something else.
Oh no!
♫ A little man stands in the forest
completely still and quiet
♫ He wears a little, pure purple candy
[in the original song: coat]
Candy, can I have candy
For now, you have to
nicely finish your audition for uncle.
With this?
Can I have a candy now?
You know what uncle has for you here?
A candy.
I'll tell mother!
Marianne, I think I'm unwell today.
Mister Toi, I think you forgot
your heart pills again.
-Marianne?
-Yes?
How does one spell "stage"?
With a "G". Did I make a mistake?
A typo, probably.
You have to write this contract again.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello Ms. Toi.
-I'm an employee. Mr. Toi is over there.
-Potzkothen.
-What is it?
Jürgen Potzkothen.
Stage name Jürgen Potz.
-And now?
-I'll play a recording for you.
What? What's that supposed to be?
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ Don't decide without me,
if we get along
♫ I want to spend my life with you
-♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
-If I may offer a remark...
-♫ Why is everything gray?
-I think it's awesome.
-You do?
-Totally awesome.
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
-♫ Since you went away.
-This is Agency Toi, Toi, and Toi speaking.
-♫ Come back to me
-Yes, speaking... on the 18th.
-♫ Come back to me
-October the 18th. At your place.
A solo entertainer? Well, we got several.
For example, there's Mr. Putzkothen.
Potzputz... Johnny Flash!
Johnny Flash is the guy you're looking for.
Door's open, Erwin.
Come in, Jürgen isn't here.
Miss Potzkothen? I'm Cornelia Dohm.
From television.
-"Music Full", you know of us?
-No.
"Music Full", full of music,
I'd like to talk to Jürgen, we...
-...need him for a program, tomorrow.
-He isn't here. Isn't here.
He just went for an audition.
Is his career taking off that fast?
Yes, that fast.
How can I get a hold of him?
After the audition he planned on going to
that cafe on Castle Street.
I know the one. I'll head over there, then.
Thank you very much, Miss Potzkothen.
-Thank you.
-Have a nice day, goodbye!
Jürgen on television? So he will make it
after all. Who would've thought.
I'm supposed to pick up a check card.
Do you have an account at our bank?
Everyone is paying with card,
these days.
And with good reason. You have to open
up an account first, though.
-I'll do that too, then.
-May I see your ID?
Yes, here it is.
Mr. Potzkothen, is this supposed to be you?
-Do you have any securities?
-What do you mean by that?
-Real estate...
-Of course we have furniture!
So you've got furniture, too. Can you offer
anything else for security?
-My mother has a necklace made of onyx.
-That isn't worth anything, either.
Is that so. I own a tape recorder myself,
but I need it, for playback.
I'm Johnnie Flash, I guess you know,
the pop singer.
You know that one? ♫ Hold me tight
You can hold on to that, too. I'm getting
the request form for now.
Then you can think it over calmly
together with your mother.
MUSIC STORE
Oh, I see, you made the right decision.
That's no wardrobe, though, but our new
drum set. You want to give it a try?
Not bad,
but what I really want is an organ.
An organ? Of course, we have those too.
We have to move over to the organ section.
-Please step over.
-Oh, I see, over there.
That's our special gem. Here you go,
you can have a try now.
Will do.
The same with rhythm.
We got other sounds as well.
-The panpipes.
-I know that. I saw that one on television.
-I recognize this from television.
-Or, the sax.
Digital television is included,
and there are several pedals down there.
-There's something moving back and forth.
-Yes.
-How much is this.
-That's a TV game.
-Cost is 17.5, like it says down there.
-17.5, what does this mean?
-What does this mean, 17.5?
-All included.
-Cover and shipping.
-17.5...
-17.500 Marks.
-What are you saying?
-This one is a bit too big, anyway.
-Then we better switch it off.
-I'm a bicyclist, and I need a small...
-You're a bicyclist, I see.
-It must be small, and with a drum.
-Yes, yes, let me think.
Let me think, we have something like that.
Oh yes, this is our outdoor model.
If you look at that. Here you select the
rhythm and you're good to go.
Yes, I like that.
And these buttons up there,
what do these do?
-There you can...
-It's playing all by itself!
-Of course.
-I like this, how much is it?
-17.5. 17.50 Marks.
-I'll buy that one.
-Come over here please, to the checkout.
-Yes, thank you.
Hello, my name is Flash.
-Ah, I think your mother called earlier.
-Possible.
-Then you know already.
-Mr. Flash, how can I help you?
I brought this catalog with me.
There's a suit I'd like to...
-So you want a suit. Something like this?
-In this style...
In this style. Might I show you something?
Let's go in the back.
Here we have... At first, which
wool quality? This is the main question.
Popeline, Trevira, Stretch, or a mixture?
Or do you want one with concealed
button facing,
and double mash-up shoulder stuff?
I'll show you this. Or let's first take
measurements, that's the smart thing to do.
Wait a minute, turn around,
raise your arms.
Wonderful, you're doing very well,
I see you're used to going to the tailor.
Arms 102, this is quite the length,
Mr. Flash, quite the length.
You can take them down. Now turn around
and stand still, casual, like that.
Very good. Now for the shoulder,
we got 46.
Relatively small shoulders
given the lengthy arms.
If you open up your legs.
Keep like this, yes.
This is the most difficult measurement,
they teach this during apprenticeship.
70 centimeters. And this one, also 70.
Surprisingly similar legs.
You can stand normal again. And now
stand still, completely casual. Casual.
It's very simple. You just right in the
beginning: "5000 12 580 0"
"12 580 1"
Hello.
-Hello.
-I'm Flash, Johnny Flash.
How can I help you?
Yes... here... glasses are broke.
-Boy, what did you do?
-Do you have both glasses?
Half of it is down on the floor already.
May I... This really can't be fixed
anymore... May I show you a new design?
But why can't this be fixed?
Well really, you can't put this back
together again, no a chance.
-A pity.
-But our new designs are very shapely.
You want to try this one on?
It's on the sporty side.
-Titanium.
-Titanium!
Yes, look in the mirror. This goes well
with sporty types. Are you a sporty type?
-Not really?
-I might...
-We've got another design, here.
-I'm not really fond of this one.
I already expected you to not really be
fond of it. This one will be a better fit.
That's a very type-adequate design.
Especially for your type.
-You think so?
-Yes, I do. Without reservations.
-You don't think so?
-I liked the old glasses better.
???[talking about homework
assignments, probably]
This one might be to your liking.
May I? Here, does it fit well?
Let me...
-This one fits rather well, doesn't it?
-There's another one, here.
I think we need to, with the machine...
Could you take off the glasses for now?
-Well, yes...
-Can you take them off? We need to look...
...before making the exact adjustments...
But the design, the shape, the frame,
that's alright now?
-A bit like my old glasses.
-Look here, would you?
Exactly into my eye...
Ouch, don't push like that, please.
Exactly straight ahead... What do you have
in your eye, there. What is it I'm seeing?
-What do you mean? In which eye?
-Are you a carpenter?
-Why should I be a carpenter?
-Oh, here we have it. Very nice.
Now if you open up the eye as wide as you
can. Oh my god.
Were you gravely ill once?
-Not that I know of.
-Well, this looks terrible.
Well... or did you fall into a guitar?
...he wanted to pick me up. He's doing
stuff with music now, you know.
He's a big success now, he found a manager.
Oh, that's nice!
Yes, the record will be a hit, he says.
Let's hope so. [Chatter continues]
You have to buy it, you have to.
Hello, I didn't recognize you at first.
Wonderful, sit down here.
Hey, isn't she the editor of "Music Full"?
What is she doing with our Johnny?
That's what I mean.
Let's draw up a contract immediately.
-Yes, right now.
-This can't continue!
-Grete, what's going on under the table?
-...well yesterday...
-Always the same with you!
-Always!
-Thank you, thanks.
-You fixed this perfectly.
-Was this baked in the new oven?
-No, in the old one.
-Then I'll try this.
-It worked out well, though.
-Yes, wonderful.
-I don't taste the old oven.
The name Johnny Flash is good. But forget
about this run-down Toi agency, will you?
I got something good for you,
a big performance. Listen up, you...
-A performance? Me?
-Not so fast. You'll go to my place
and we do a rehearsal. Song for song.
You think I'm the man for the job,
I can do this?
-Johnny, I never misjudged an artist.
-I like you very much, too.
Now I need to pick up my mother
from her coffee party, though.
-No, this is from the new oven!
-Oh, this is from the new one!
But you said it's from the old one.
Jürgen is missing.
Yes, you can say that again. Jürgen is
missing. He was supposed to pick me up.
-What time is it?
-4:40 already!
And he said he'd be here at 4:30.
And he used to be so reliable.
I'm really worried.
Ah, will you go to the door, Anni?
-I hop this is him.
-Who else?
If this is him, he might sing a song
for us, the one I told you about.
-That would be wonderful.
-Jürgen!
-Hello everybody!
-Finally!
-Mother waited a long time for you!
-Grete, you're also here.
Hello, hello, hello.
Jürgen, will you sing for us today?
I told everyone here about...
Don't be a drag.
Jürgen, please sing already.
Come on Jürgen, start singing.
♫ Don't be petty, love ain't awkward
♫ If I blush anyway,
it's because of the ban
♫ Don't you be a bore
♫ Otherwise life's a chore
♫ Let's drown again in ticklish feelings
♫ Some day
♫ And somewhere
♫ Our hay goes up in flames
Now Jürgen, have a piece of cake, too.
Listen up, I'm going to Jürgen now, and if
he isn't home, I'm waiting all night.
-And you stay home, got it? Stand by!
-Alright.
Say, Jürgen,
you never knew uncle Herman, did you?
-No I didn't.
-He was a great performer.
He was a great singer,
and he also used to recite poems.
I remember one of those poems.
Some gymnast had an anniversary, or
something like that, and what was it again?
"Hako flag" [prob. pun on swastika] it was.
And he used the tablecloth as a flag.
They will be amazed when you're in
television tomorrow.
-This I believe.
-The whole coffee party will be watching.
Television? Mr. Toi wanted to make me
perform in the discotheque.
No, no, Jürgen, forget about that.
I'll take care of Toi.
I think you should go with that sweet
chick from television.
-You think so?
-Yes, of course.
Of course, that's the right thing for you.
Listen, you don't have to accompany me,
just drive ahead.
-Really?
-Of course.
Just be in time when you go to
this girl editor.
-Bye Jürgen.
-Bye mom, I'm on my way.
And be back in time!
Jürgen, Jürgen...
-Johnny?
-Miss Dohm, I have problems with the suit.
-Why that?
-It doesn't fit.
I got it specially for you. And it's
perfect. You look marvelous.
-No flapping. Listen what we'll do.
-The shoes are very small.
Then take them off, I'll take care of them
tomorrow. You'll get new ones.
-And now I'll wear socks?
-Yes, now you wear socks.
We'll do it just like on television.
I'm going to announce you.
And when I say "applause" you'll come in.
That's your keyword.
Announcement, "applause", all right?
Let's do this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm glad to present
to you a special treat tonight,
we discovered a new star for you,
from the pit to the piano,
our Johnny Flash.
He will sing "Serenade in Gold" for us. So
applause for Johnny, applause.
-Now I'm coming, with "applause".
-You're coming with applause.
-I don't come from the pit.
-That doesn't matter.
-I'm an electrician.
-That's showbiz.
-I don't like that.
-Have a drink first. It's fine that way.
-Let's go to the piano for rehearsal.
-I'll take the champagne with me.
Do that.
You're talking about his worth? I think
Jürgen has a golden throat.
His grandpa can sing. That you gotta hear.
-Do you want to?
-Later, Miss Potzkothen, not now.
I would be a bad loser, hem winner,
hem manager if I would be wrong about that.
I'm very confident about my intuition.
Every time my pinkie twitches, like it does
now, I know that music's in the air.
And then,
heaven is filled with platinum records.
But first, Johnny needs to be pushed hard,
you see?
I always say to Johnny:
rehears, rehears, rehears.
That's exactly what I always tell him:
Jürgen, rehears, rehears, rehears.
Wonderful, Johnny, wonderful.
-Wonderful! That's it! You'll be a star!
-Yes, I think so, too.
I can't wait forever, though. I drafted
something here, and...
-... you just need to sign.
-Well, same story like with my vacuum.
But your son isn't a vacuum.
Please think this over once again.
-I'll get your signature yet!
-What are you doing? Have you gone mad?
Let me out! I want out!
-I have my own song, that's why I stopped.
-Your own song, yada yada...
Listen, Miss Dohm:
♫ If I can't hold you back
-We can do this another time.
-No, let me!
Instrumental at first, tomorrow we
need instrumental, got it?
-But it would be a big chance for me.
-I'll get you your big chance anyway.
-♫ If I can't hold you back
-We'll talk about that later at the bar.
♫ I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ I want to spend my life with you
♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
♫ Come back to me
-♫ Come back to me
-Oh, finally!
Co, Co, Cornelia!
Johnny, over here! Here I am.
Johnny, come on. I'll pay and then
we'll head over to my place.
-No.
-Yes, yes. There, now we're heading home.
I want to go home, to my place.
-Why not to my place. It's nicer...
-No! No!
-No! No! I don't have time!
-Okay Johnny, we'll go to your place!
-Check please!
-You can sleep at our place.
-Keep the change.
-My mother is a swell guy. She really is!
Okay, come on, let's go.
-Give me a hand here.
-Yes, no problem. Let's go.
[drunken rambling]
Johnny Flash,
here is the contract from Mr. Toi!
-You'd had to have get up earlier
for that, sweetie.
-Wait a minute.
-We made it.
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Boys want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Boys want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Christa and Heidi, Margret and Monika
♫ Annegret and Helga, Peter and Marion
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Hilde and Susanne, Sabine and Margot
♫ Elke and Elvira, Ellen and Beate
♫ Anneliese, Andrea, Ute and Claudia
♫ Klara and Sibylle and Jochen and Greta
♫ Kata, Doris, Isabella, Josefine
♫ Marina and Leni, Lotte and Christine
♫ Anna and Hanna and Gabi and Nicola
♫ Marianne, Elfriede, Else and Luise
♫ All girls want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls, girls, girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls, girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls want to kiss, girls want to kiss
♫ Yes, girls want to kiss
Sit down, please.
Marianne, please get this done.
Sit down, why don't you!
Please excuse me, I have to take a leak.
I'll call my wife at home.
Sweetie, I'll come back late tonight,
because the Japanese guys are here.
Excuse me, the Japanese. Talk to you later.
Vodka, vodka, Marianne, vodka!
Cheerio! Cheerio...
♫ I've got a crush on you
♫ I'm mad about you
♫ I'm not appealing
♫ But I'm not boring either
♫ And when I look at you
♫ I'm feeling like never before
♫ I'm getting wild like a bull
♫ Then we play the piano
♫ The whole night through
♫ Until 7 in the morning
♫ Then you get up
♫ And I stay in bed
Johnny, something's knocking.
Don't you hear it?
-What's going on?
-I don't know.
-I'll have a look.
-You get up, I'll stay in bed.
What a night!
-What are you doing here?
-My mother.
Why is this TV broad doing here?
I'm fed up with this music thing!
If this is television,
I want no part of it.
-Don't make such a fuss.
-Get out of my house!
-But listen...
-Go away!
-My things...
-You'll get your things!
What does this woman have that I don't?
-There wasn't anything going on.
-Wasn't anything? What about the suit?
Answer you mummy
when she asks you something!
You'll wear it on television tonight.
Won't you, Johnny?
What will he do? Tonight on television?
We won't have any part of it!
After this night,
I can't calculate any more.
By the way, what was going on with these
Japanese guys yesterday?
Mr. Toi, I remember very well. You told
me to call your wife,
to tell her we're busy because the Japanese
are coming. And we drank rather much.
-I drank a lot?
-Yes. I really was worried about you.
You know you always need to take
your heart pills.
Good, Mr. Potzkothen.
Turn around a bit,
and then push the pedals really hard.
Yes, that's quite a swing.
But we need more, more!
Step up your game!
Now we can test it, let's see.
How's the little hearty
of Mr. Potzkothen doing?
Very nice, Mr. Potzkothen, marvelous.
Very nice. Thank you, Mr. Potzkothen,
you can stop now.
-Thank you!
-Oh, I see.
-Mr. Potzkothen.
-Is it over?
Looking at this... Did you ever think about
getting a pacemaker?
-I'm still young.
-But looking at your cardiogram... Here!
Especially here, in the alpine regions,
this isn't exactly top notch.
Look here, again and again it returns.
That goes to show that your young heart
isn't all that young anymore, after all.
Too much stress, not looking good.
But don't worry.
These days we can fix everything.
Get dressed now, come over to the office,
and I'll hand you a few prescriptions.
Marianne will take this off in a minute.
Marianne!
We won't do business with Johnny now
anyway. He made the deal with that editor.
What was I supposed to do, Mr. Toi?
She picked him up and went away with him.
Don't you know anything
about the weapons of a woman?
-Mr. Toi, you don't think that I...
-I don't think anything about you anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I did it.
I deserve a bonus for this.
Listen up, we'll be at the station at 6.
All right, see you then.
[La la la...]
Very good. Marvelous.
-That really was nice.
-And now "Calypso".
-He counts off.
-I count off.
1, 2, 3, 4
[Nonsense / gibberish lyrics]
If you find a fourth man
you can come back again.
By the way, Marianne, this is the last time
that I do business stuff like that at home.
Please book these appointments in time so
that we don't have to work weekends.
Speaking of weekends, Mr. Toi.
I only did this for the agency.
Ordinarily I do have spare time, too.
Don't stand up! Today we won't
deal with this. I'm fed up.
Oh no,
how did that Potzkothen woman find us here?
-What do you want?
-The contract for my Jürgen!
-Unbelievable. Go out and deal with her.
-Will do, Mr. Toi.
You can't escape her.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-I... I... Mr. Toi!
I'll sign any contract if that thing with
the disco works out tonight.
Of course, Miss Potzkothen!
Here, hand her this, please.
-Here, Miss Potzkothen, sign this.
-But it's settled with the disco, isn't it?
-Where? Where?
-There, please.
-That's it.
-Thank you, Miss Potzkothen.
-I thank you. Goodbye.
-Thank you, goodbye.
Agency Toi, Toi, Toi. Toi speaking.
"Dohm full"? "Music Full"? Ah, Miss Dohm,
haha, what is it?
I'm supposed to fall for that?
She really claims that she has a contract
with our Johnny Flash for tonight.
What a joke.
What do you think I have in front of me?
A contract with Johnny Flash.
Let me tell you something. Get your dirty
hands off of our Johnny.
Because he's signed with us.
Otherwise we'll see you in court.
Johnny is my discovery, capisce?
Over and out.
Nice!
Nice feeling with this device, Jürgen!
Reminds me of something.
Don't know of what, though.
Really a great thing. We should
get more devices like this, Jürgen.
You might become big on fitness
and a really big star.
Let me tell you something, we'll make
a lot of money with this Johnny Flash.
I think so too, Mr. Toi.
-Want another one?
-No, thank you, maybe later.
Mr. Toi, your sleeves.
There's a label on your sleeves.
-Where?
-There, on your left arm.
From the cleaner.
Well, Mr. Toi, here's the valid contract.
-And now what?
-A fight. With the weapons of a woman.
Jürgen, do you remember, back then,
the Rhine journey?
-That was beautiful.
-♫ I'm sitting here since eternity
♫ And look at the ships
gliding through water
♫ I'm combing my hair
with a small silver brush
♫ Some poor fools
already died because of it
♫ Confused by the glamor
of my golden locks
♫ Several boatmen leaned
too far over the bulwark
♫ The ship crashed directly at my feet
♫ The boatman paid for his curiosity
in a gruesome way
♫ Dee-del-di, dee-del-di, I am the Loreley
-Jürgen, don't fall asleep like that!
-Hey...
You need to focus on your performance.
Who is going to perform? You or I?
Why do you think
I drive with you to the disco?
Hello, say, was Jürgen in here today?
Not today.
He's at the racetrack with his mother
At the racetrack. Thank you, goodbye.
"... in front, followed by Benedikt and..."
-Go! Go! Thaler!
-Mother, I knew, I bet on Thaler! Number 4!
-Go! Go! Now!
-"He takes the lead"
-Yes! Yes, Wonderful!
-Shit! Thaler!
-Hey, didn't we bet on that one?
-That's what I said. Number 4! Thaler!
Like being kicked by a horse.
[German language pun]
-That wasn't just luck, mother.
-What a bargain!
-It was cleverness, too.
-Now we can... there's another one... here!
-Jürgen, that calls for a pastry orgy.
-No, we have to go to the disco.
-I'll take care of that. Let's take a cab.
-Mother, please!
Say, isn't there a race on today?
No, there isn't a race on the
Gallop Racetrack today.
We have a rabbit exhibition here. You have
to go to the trotters at Neuss-Meerbusch.
-Oh, thank you.
-Hope this helps.
-So, here we go. The Black Forest Cake?
-That's me.
Cream for the lady,
and pastry for the gentleman.
-Everything good? Enjoy your meal.
-Thank you.
See Jürgen, this is way better than
always this old Graham bread.
Mother, better hurry up. We don't even
know where that place is.
That's simple. We ask the waitress,
she's gonna tell us.
ESSEN / OBERHAUSEN
MÜHLHEIM-STYRUM, MÜHLHEIM CENTER
Say, where is this disco, "Miracle"?
There's no "Miracle" here,
I'm sure of that.
There must be. "Miracle" in Mühlheim.
But we're not in Mühlheim.
Here's [the small neighboring town] Styrup.
-Styrup? ... Then get me another coffee.
-That's what I said.
-Something for the young gentleman?
-We need to hurry.
-Nothing for him.
-One coffee, all right.
-One Persico [German liquor], please.
-Mother!
Don't worry.
Us Potzkothens are getting things done.
Don't be afraid. If you stay with mother,
you'll always be at the disco in time.
And now finish your meal.
Our star, Johnny, has left. Can't help it.
... Ok, I'll head over to the station now.
Jürgen, I'm as full as it gets.
And where's the Persico?
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
Jürgen, I believe it's time to go now.
-I think so, too.
-Well, I'll get my coat.
-Ma, wait a minute.
-What's this rambling under the table?
-I can't find my bag, with the music.
-Here, isn't this the one?
Jürgen, why don't you come already.
We need to find the cab we took earlier.
-Hello, can you help us?
-Yes?
-My son left a red bag in a cab earlier.
-About that big.
We came from the racetrack. Can you ask
around if anyone has found it?
I also left a coat, an overcoat, pale,
ask around, will you?
-A red bag and a pale overcoat?
-Yes, yes.
"Head office speaking. Someone lost
his bag. Red with music inside."
"Belongs to a pop singer.
He needs it urgently."
"If you find it, please contact us
immediately or bring it to disco Miracle."
"A red bag with music inside."
Can you turn around, please? I won't go to
the station, please drive me to "Miracle".
Bill Barns sings "Texas".
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas...
♫ My horse, my shoes, my belt, my spurs
♫ My gun, my west, my haaaaat
♫ I like all of that
♫ Yes, the cacti and the sand,
the prairie and its buffalos
♫ The Indians, the coyotes
and the wooooods
♫ Here I'll grow rooooots
♫ Yes, the saloon and the bank,
the hotel with the stable
♫ The prison,
the gallows with the rooooope
♫ All of that is pretty dope
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas...
-Finally!
-I didn't find Johnny.
-This can't be true!
-But I...
Listen, you stay here and trap him,
I'm going up and tell them to wait.
-You'll come up with him in a minute.
-Will do, Mr. Toi.
And now, my friends, something for
the romantics.
He comes to us directly
from his Cologne fireplace:
Pierre Lavendel with his
"Hundred Thousand Roses".
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ And that's why you stay with me
♫ For ever for ever
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ And that's why you stay with me
♫ Love in the autumn...
♫ ...of life is free like natuuuuuuuure
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
Pierre Lavendel! Pierre Lavendel
and his "Hundred Thousand Roses"
Pierre Lavendel!
Now for something upbeat again.
Singer number five is...
...renowned former hobby radioman Roy Kabel
with his hit "There Was a Spark".
Roy... Roy... Who... Roy...
-Who received the spark?
-I did.
-Nice, he got the spark.
♫ You turn around
♫ And I get hot and cold,
there was a spark with me
♫ You walk towards me and I get weak
in the knees, there was a spark with me
♫ Until now, I was alone
♫ But this is over, let it be known
♫ I kissed you and read in your face,
there was a spark with you
♫ There was a spark with you,
there was a spark with you
♫ There was a spark with you,
there was a spark with you
♫ A spark
Roy Kabel! Roy Kabel, our number five
with "There Was a Spark With Me".
Number four is, of course,
Christoph Schlingensief,
with the song, one moment,
with the song...
..."I Don't Care about Anything", and I
don't want no part of this, not on my show.
♫ Out of my way... I don't care...
with your face... for the last time...
♫ I'm not interested... piss off... you get
on my nerves... don't stress me out...
♫ But I love you... I need you...
Without you... (inaudible)
Oh what a relief, you made it after all.
Yes, we're here,
but we had a terrible accident.
The red bag with my music inside is gone.
Yes, but hopefully, a cab will bring it
along in a moment.
And now I'm back, your Roger!
Now I present you
the big star from Dortmund,
Dick Dynamics with "Disco Dancing".
Like someone out of a b-movie.
♫ Dancing... dancing...
[song continues in English]
Johnny, you won't get this music, you'll
go to the station and dance to my tune.
-Let go of me!
-Johnny, take it! Take it!
And now the star of the moment,
if I may say so.
Still, he's a down to carpet guy
and this is why we like him.
Here's Johnny Flash with the hit
"Love ain't awkward". Johnny Flash!
♫ Don't be petty, love ain't awkward
♫ If I blush anyway,
it's because of the ban
♫ Don't you be a bore
♫ Otherwise life's a chore
♫ Let's drown again in ticklish feelings
♫ Some day and somewhere
♫ Our hay goes up in flames
Cut! Finished! Get up!
-Wonderful! Jürgen!
-That was...
Jürgen! You're doing this for the future.
Your success, we'll have savings!
-They want more! Now, yes, now!
-I'm exhausted.
Let them wait a bit. You can do it.
You'll be the winner! Now, go on!
-Now, step in!
-My shoes!
Then slip them on. The crowd's boiling!
Go on! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ Don't decide without me,
why we don't get along
♫ I want to spend my life with you
♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
♫ Come back to me
♫ Come back to me
Thank you, thank you, Johnny, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thanks, that was our 35th Hit Parade,
this time the winner is Johnny Flash.
Thank you... Thank you and see you
next week. Good bye!
Thank you.
Jürgen, get up! Today we'll celebrate!
This sure is different. Especially since
it isn't Graham bread.
-I'm tired.
-Jürgen, now get up already.
-Let me...
-Did I read this to you?
Mom, let me sleep a bit longer.
"Rocket on the German pop skies."
"Appearing under his English stage name
'Johnny Flash' the formerly unknown
electrician in training Jürgen P. landed
a sensational success."
Jürgen, why don't they write "Potzkothen"?
"'Hold Me Tight', the hit song of the
sympathetic young man
jumped from zero to one on the hit parade.
Says his manager: 'I always knew it, Johnny
only has one goal, being number one.'"
-Jürgen, now I like that!
-Why so loud?
"An embarrassment backstage."
"A music editor was said to be run over
by enthused fans.
The hit parade, recorded in a local disco,
shows that German pop is on the rise.
One can only hope that the new cable and
satellite networks work with these talents,
instead of always showing
the same old same old."
-My words, exactly!
-Don't scream like that!
Jürgen, hurry up now! We have to go!
"Talents like Johnny will always make it.
Success is written onto their faces."
I'll make a copy of that.
And then I'll send it to aunt Else.
Let me sleep a little bit longer.
I'm having such a nice dream.
Feature starts at 05:20.]
BOOKING AGENCY
BREAK & A & LEG
BOOKING AGENCY
♫ What can I do?
♫ I'm done for
♫ So what, if people laugh
♫ Things will work out somehow
-Is the box closed?
-Yes, it is.
Very good. Let's continue, then.
Jacket, chair... One moment, stop, stop!
What do you thing you're doing? Listen!
-Get me the file... "Hamburg State Opera".
-Will do, one moment.
-Did you fix the light?
-No.
-I'll have to give it another try.
-No, you sure won't.
-Why not?
-Unbelievable!
Unbelievable. What is it that you're doing
here? You were supposed to fix the light.
-Practice being an electrician, won't you?
-Well, can't I... as a singer...
Thank you. Have you finished up the
contract for those three crooks?
Bye, why don't you go already. Call a new
electrician. Terrible!
It's only getting darker. Every time this
electrician comes around.
Say, write to his company, they should
send someone else. Enough is enough.
-I'll do that.
-What's this file? "Copies"?
-I told you "Hamburg State Opera".
-My mistake, sorry.
And please file this away, too.
-Here you go.
-Okay. Yes, now we're talking. Finally.
Try to concentrate.
-Oh... damn!
-Can I help you?
-My radio doesn't work.
-Won't take a minute.
-You know how to handle this?
-Of course. I'm an electrician.
Electrician, great! On with it!
Do you know what's the problem?
-And we're done.
-Oh, great!
You've got rhythm in your blood!
-You are an expert in music?
-Yes.
-Are you a professional musician?
-I'm an electrician. I already told you.
But I'm also making music.
I did pop songs.
-Did you perform somewhere?
-Yes, can I give you my card?
-If you have car trouble again.
-Jürgen Potzkothen.
I'm Cornelia Dohm. From "Music Full". You
know? "Music Full", full of music.
Thank you, I'll come back to you.
All right.
Jürgen, won't you get up already?
Jürgen, come on and get up.
Coffee is ready.
The eggs are getting firm.
The crown prince of the Netherlands
produces 900.000 eggs a year.
If we could do the same.
Jürgen, get up already!
Boy, you're my problem child.
Jürgen?... Jürgen?
Jürgen, you really must get up now!
You've got another job interview today.
Elsa told me the other day that her aunt's
son-in-law found something terrific.
In an electronics store.
He's very happy there.
He also got married.
A working electrician
can feed a whole family.
Jürgen! Jürgen, now it's really time
to get up.
Coffee's ready, too.
-Jürgen!
-Yes?
Hello... Elke? What's going on?
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
-Jürgen, you'll always be staying with me.
-♫ If you'll leave...
You have to practice, first. And even then,
you'll have to stay with me a good while.
-Yes, I...
-Jürgen, get dressed now!
Then we'll continue talking. I want to
finish with this breakfast.
"Crazy guy tried to shoot Anne." Jürgen,
what's the name of your girlfriend?
I don't have a girlfriend, mom,
you know that.
If you practiced in that field, you'd have
found one. A long time ago.
Jürgen, get on with it already!
♫ I want to spend my life with you
-But Jürgen, that's no way to sing this.
-♫ Hold me tight
-Here it says: "There's music in the air."
-♫ I am alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
Jürgen, those are terrible songs.
-♫ Come back to me
-This way you won't land a chick.
-Come here and have breakfast!
-That's my problem.
I'd love to have problems like that.
Elke, wait a minute. Someone's at the door.
I'm expecting for someone.
I'll be back in a second.
-I'm coming!
-Oh, I'm sorry.
Miss Dohm, did you get my cable?
Uh, sorry, got it here myself...
-You have a cable for me?
-Hold this, won't you?
-I need your signature.
-Of course.
-Here, at the sign.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
-Goodbye.
Sorry, you still got my pen.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Goodbye.
Elke, I have to hang up,
there's a cable from the station.
Let's talk tomorrow again.
I'll call you. Bye!
Jürgen, where's the
Grafschafter [company name] applesauce?
Don't know. Hidden.
Jürgen, didn't I tell you...
Oh, there it is.
Prepare a piece for me, too.
I'm really in a hurry.
Prepare your own piece.
I won't prepare a piece for you, just so
you'll make it to some booking agency.
You won't find a
piece of ass in this kind of job, anyway.
You'd have to get up earlier for that.
But when?
When does one have to get up to get one?
Well, bakers get up at 4 am.
And they always have fresh pastries.
Not like here, with this old Graham bread.
Huh, so what. A baker eating pastries or
Graham... I don't know anything about that.
-What do you know, anyway?
-I'm a musician.
-I know about music.
-Musician, musician.
What do you mean, canceled? And now what?
He can't, he's on tour. He can't either.
Him I booked for that thing.
No, we really need somebody.
Oh, I know someone! My new discovery,
but he's perfect for this.
Not yet, but we'll trim him to size.
Very versatile, great guy.
You know me, I'll get it done.
-I want adventures!
-Adventures!
-Do you understand? Do you get that?
-I'm asking myself, then...
...why you're lying in bed all the time
when you're out for adventures.
-I'm out of here.
-Electricians can have adventures, too.
-Mother, I...
-Enough, leave me alone, now.
-Don't be upset, things will work out.
-Just leave me be!
There's a hit in this suitcase. Please
believe me, it will be a hit!
You never listen to me.
Take care of your bike, Jürgen.
Wait, Jürgen! Jürgen!
Your suitcase! Jürgen! Jürgen!
Your suitcase. Always so thoughtless.
-Bye!
-Bye!
I've got a new joke.
I've got a new joke.
I've got a new joke.
-And I've got a new cigar.
-Do that again.
Let me show you something else.
Oh no!
♫ A little man stands in the forest
completely still and quiet
♫ He wears a little, pure purple candy
[in the original song: coat]
Candy, can I have candy
For now, you have to
nicely finish your audition for uncle.
With this?
Can I have a candy now?
You know what uncle has for you here?
A candy.
I'll tell mother!
Marianne, I think I'm unwell today.
Mister Toi, I think you forgot
your heart pills again.
-Marianne?
-Yes?
How does one spell "stage"?
With a "G". Did I make a mistake?
A typo, probably.
You have to write this contract again.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello Ms. Toi.
-I'm an employee. Mr. Toi is over there.
-Potzkothen.
-What is it?
Jürgen Potzkothen.
Stage name Jürgen Potz.
-And now?
-I'll play a recording for you.
What? What's that supposed to be?
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ Don't decide without me,
if we get along
♫ I want to spend my life with you
-♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
-If I may offer a remark...
-♫ Why is everything gray?
-I think it's awesome.
-You do?
-Totally awesome.
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
-♫ Since you went away.
-This is Agency Toi, Toi, and Toi speaking.
-♫ Come back to me
-Yes, speaking... on the 18th.
-♫ Come back to me
-October the 18th. At your place.
A solo entertainer? Well, we got several.
For example, there's Mr. Putzkothen.
Potzputz... Johnny Flash!
Johnny Flash is the guy you're looking for.
Door's open, Erwin.
Come in, Jürgen isn't here.
Miss Potzkothen? I'm Cornelia Dohm.
From television.
-"Music Full", you know of us?
-No.
"Music Full", full of music,
I'd like to talk to Jürgen, we...
-...need him for a program, tomorrow.
-He isn't here. Isn't here.
He just went for an audition.
Is his career taking off that fast?
Yes, that fast.
How can I get a hold of him?
After the audition he planned on going to
that cafe on Castle Street.
I know the one. I'll head over there, then.
Thank you very much, Miss Potzkothen.
-Thank you.
-Have a nice day, goodbye!
Jürgen on television? So he will make it
after all. Who would've thought.
I'm supposed to pick up a check card.
Do you have an account at our bank?
Everyone is paying with card,
these days.
And with good reason. You have to open
up an account first, though.
-I'll do that too, then.
-May I see your ID?
Yes, here it is.
Mr. Potzkothen, is this supposed to be you?
-Do you have any securities?
-What do you mean by that?
-Real estate...
-Of course we have furniture!
So you've got furniture, too. Can you offer
anything else for security?
-My mother has a necklace made of onyx.
-That isn't worth anything, either.
Is that so. I own a tape recorder myself,
but I need it, for playback.
I'm Johnnie Flash, I guess you know,
the pop singer.
You know that one? ♫ Hold me tight
You can hold on to that, too. I'm getting
the request form for now.
Then you can think it over calmly
together with your mother.
MUSIC STORE
Oh, I see, you made the right decision.
That's no wardrobe, though, but our new
drum set. You want to give it a try?
Not bad,
but what I really want is an organ.
An organ? Of course, we have those too.
We have to move over to the organ section.
-Please step over.
-Oh, I see, over there.
That's our special gem. Here you go,
you can have a try now.
Will do.
The same with rhythm.
We got other sounds as well.
-The panpipes.
-I know that. I saw that one on television.
-I recognize this from television.
-Or, the sax.
Digital television is included,
and there are several pedals down there.
-There's something moving back and forth.
-Yes.
-How much is this.
-That's a TV game.
-Cost is 17.5, like it says down there.
-17.5, what does this mean?
-What does this mean, 17.5?
-All included.
-Cover and shipping.
-17.5...
-17.500 Marks.
-What are you saying?
-This one is a bit too big, anyway.
-Then we better switch it off.
-I'm a bicyclist, and I need a small...
-You're a bicyclist, I see.
-It must be small, and with a drum.
-Yes, yes, let me think.
Let me think, we have something like that.
Oh yes, this is our outdoor model.
If you look at that. Here you select the
rhythm and you're good to go.
Yes, I like that.
And these buttons up there,
what do these do?
-There you can...
-It's playing all by itself!
-Of course.
-I like this, how much is it?
-17.5. 17.50 Marks.
-I'll buy that one.
-Come over here please, to the checkout.
-Yes, thank you.
Hello, my name is Flash.
-Ah, I think your mother called earlier.
-Possible.
-Then you know already.
-Mr. Flash, how can I help you?
I brought this catalog with me.
There's a suit I'd like to...
-So you want a suit. Something like this?
-In this style...
In this style. Might I show you something?
Let's go in the back.
Here we have... At first, which
wool quality? This is the main question.
Popeline, Trevira, Stretch, or a mixture?
Or do you want one with concealed
button facing,
and double mash-up shoulder stuff?
I'll show you this. Or let's first take
measurements, that's the smart thing to do.
Wait a minute, turn around,
raise your arms.
Wonderful, you're doing very well,
I see you're used to going to the tailor.
Arms 102, this is quite the length,
Mr. Flash, quite the length.
You can take them down. Now turn around
and stand still, casual, like that.
Very good. Now for the shoulder,
we got 46.
Relatively small shoulders
given the lengthy arms.
If you open up your legs.
Keep like this, yes.
This is the most difficult measurement,
they teach this during apprenticeship.
70 centimeters. And this one, also 70.
Surprisingly similar legs.
You can stand normal again. And now
stand still, completely casual. Casual.
It's very simple. You just right in the
beginning: "5000 12 580 0"
"12 580 1"
Hello.
-Hello.
-I'm Flash, Johnny Flash.
How can I help you?
Yes... here... glasses are broke.
-Boy, what did you do?
-Do you have both glasses?
Half of it is down on the floor already.
May I... This really can't be fixed
anymore... May I show you a new design?
But why can't this be fixed?
Well really, you can't put this back
together again, no a chance.
-A pity.
-But our new designs are very shapely.
You want to try this one on?
It's on the sporty side.
-Titanium.
-Titanium!
Yes, look in the mirror. This goes well
with sporty types. Are you a sporty type?
-Not really?
-I might...
-We've got another design, here.
-I'm not really fond of this one.
I already expected you to not really be
fond of it. This one will be a better fit.
That's a very type-adequate design.
Especially for your type.
-You think so?
-Yes, I do. Without reservations.
-You don't think so?
-I liked the old glasses better.
???[talking about homework
assignments, probably]
This one might be to your liking.
May I? Here, does it fit well?
Let me...
-This one fits rather well, doesn't it?
-There's another one, here.
I think we need to, with the machine...
Could you take off the glasses for now?
-Well, yes...
-Can you take them off? We need to look...
...before making the exact adjustments...
But the design, the shape, the frame,
that's alright now?
-A bit like my old glasses.
-Look here, would you?
Exactly into my eye...
Ouch, don't push like that, please.
Exactly straight ahead... What do you have
in your eye, there. What is it I'm seeing?
-What do you mean? In which eye?
-Are you a carpenter?
-Why should I be a carpenter?
-Oh, here we have it. Very nice.
Now if you open up the eye as wide as you
can. Oh my god.
Were you gravely ill once?
-Not that I know of.
-Well, this looks terrible.
Well... or did you fall into a guitar?
...he wanted to pick me up. He's doing
stuff with music now, you know.
He's a big success now, he found a manager.
Oh, that's nice!
Yes, the record will be a hit, he says.
Let's hope so. [Chatter continues]
You have to buy it, you have to.
Hello, I didn't recognize you at first.
Wonderful, sit down here.
Hey, isn't she the editor of "Music Full"?
What is she doing with our Johnny?
That's what I mean.
Let's draw up a contract immediately.
-Yes, right now.
-This can't continue!
-Grete, what's going on under the table?
-...well yesterday...
-Always the same with you!
-Always!
-Thank you, thanks.
-You fixed this perfectly.
-Was this baked in the new oven?
-No, in the old one.
-Then I'll try this.
-It worked out well, though.
-Yes, wonderful.
-I don't taste the old oven.
The name Johnny Flash is good. But forget
about this run-down Toi agency, will you?
I got something good for you,
a big performance. Listen up, you...
-A performance? Me?
-Not so fast. You'll go to my place
and we do a rehearsal. Song for song.
You think I'm the man for the job,
I can do this?
-Johnny, I never misjudged an artist.
-I like you very much, too.
Now I need to pick up my mother
from her coffee party, though.
-No, this is from the new oven!
-Oh, this is from the new one!
But you said it's from the old one.
Jürgen is missing.
Yes, you can say that again. Jürgen is
missing. He was supposed to pick me up.
-What time is it?
-4:40 already!
And he said he'd be here at 4:30.
And he used to be so reliable.
I'm really worried.
Ah, will you go to the door, Anni?
-I hop this is him.
-Who else?
If this is him, he might sing a song
for us, the one I told you about.
-That would be wonderful.
-Jürgen!
-Hello everybody!
-Finally!
-Mother waited a long time for you!
-Grete, you're also here.
Hello, hello, hello.
Jürgen, will you sing for us today?
I told everyone here about...
Don't be a drag.
Jürgen, please sing already.
Come on Jürgen, start singing.
♫ Don't be petty, love ain't awkward
♫ If I blush anyway,
it's because of the ban
♫ Don't you be a bore
♫ Otherwise life's a chore
♫ Let's drown again in ticklish feelings
♫ Some day
♫ And somewhere
♫ Our hay goes up in flames
Now Jürgen, have a piece of cake, too.
Listen up, I'm going to Jürgen now, and if
he isn't home, I'm waiting all night.
-And you stay home, got it? Stand by!
-Alright.
Say, Jürgen,
you never knew uncle Herman, did you?
-No I didn't.
-He was a great performer.
He was a great singer,
and he also used to recite poems.
I remember one of those poems.
Some gymnast had an anniversary, or
something like that, and what was it again?
"Hako flag" [prob. pun on swastika] it was.
And he used the tablecloth as a flag.
They will be amazed when you're in
television tomorrow.
-This I believe.
-The whole coffee party will be watching.
Television? Mr. Toi wanted to make me
perform in the discotheque.
No, no, Jürgen, forget about that.
I'll take care of Toi.
I think you should go with that sweet
chick from television.
-You think so?
-Yes, of course.
Of course, that's the right thing for you.
Listen, you don't have to accompany me,
just drive ahead.
-Really?
-Of course.
Just be in time when you go to
this girl editor.
-Bye Jürgen.
-Bye mom, I'm on my way.
And be back in time!
Jürgen, Jürgen...
-Johnny?
-Miss Dohm, I have problems with the suit.
-Why that?
-It doesn't fit.
I got it specially for you. And it's
perfect. You look marvelous.
-No flapping. Listen what we'll do.
-The shoes are very small.
Then take them off, I'll take care of them
tomorrow. You'll get new ones.
-And now I'll wear socks?
-Yes, now you wear socks.
We'll do it just like on television.
I'm going to announce you.
And when I say "applause" you'll come in.
That's your keyword.
Announcement, "applause", all right?
Let's do this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm glad to present
to you a special treat tonight,
we discovered a new star for you,
from the pit to the piano,
our Johnny Flash.
He will sing "Serenade in Gold" for us. So
applause for Johnny, applause.
-Now I'm coming, with "applause".
-You're coming with applause.
-I don't come from the pit.
-That doesn't matter.
-I'm an electrician.
-That's showbiz.
-I don't like that.
-Have a drink first. It's fine that way.
-Let's go to the piano for rehearsal.
-I'll take the champagne with me.
Do that.
You're talking about his worth? I think
Jürgen has a golden throat.
His grandpa can sing. That you gotta hear.
-Do you want to?
-Later, Miss Potzkothen, not now.
I would be a bad loser, hem winner,
hem manager if I would be wrong about that.
I'm very confident about my intuition.
Every time my pinkie twitches, like it does
now, I know that music's in the air.
And then,
heaven is filled with platinum records.
But first, Johnny needs to be pushed hard,
you see?
I always say to Johnny:
rehears, rehears, rehears.
That's exactly what I always tell him:
Jürgen, rehears, rehears, rehears.
Wonderful, Johnny, wonderful.
-Wonderful! That's it! You'll be a star!
-Yes, I think so, too.
I can't wait forever, though. I drafted
something here, and...
-... you just need to sign.
-Well, same story like with my vacuum.
But your son isn't a vacuum.
Please think this over once again.
-I'll get your signature yet!
-What are you doing? Have you gone mad?
Let me out! I want out!
-I have my own song, that's why I stopped.
-Your own song, yada yada...
Listen, Miss Dohm:
♫ If I can't hold you back
-We can do this another time.
-No, let me!
Instrumental at first, tomorrow we
need instrumental, got it?
-But it would be a big chance for me.
-I'll get you your big chance anyway.
-♫ If I can't hold you back
-We'll talk about that later at the bar.
♫ I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ I want to spend my life with you
♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
♫ Come back to me
-♫ Come back to me
-Oh, finally!
Co, Co, Cornelia!
Johnny, over here! Here I am.
Johnny, come on. I'll pay and then
we'll head over to my place.
-No.
-Yes, yes. There, now we're heading home.
I want to go home, to my place.
-Why not to my place. It's nicer...
-No! No!
-No! No! I don't have time!
-Okay Johnny, we'll go to your place!
-Check please!
-You can sleep at our place.
-Keep the change.
-My mother is a swell guy. She really is!
Okay, come on, let's go.
-Give me a hand here.
-Yes, no problem. Let's go.
[drunken rambling]
Johnny Flash,
here is the contract from Mr. Toi!
-You'd had to have get up earlier
for that, sweetie.
-Wait a minute.
-We made it.
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Boys want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Boys want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Christa and Heidi, Margret and Monika
♫ Annegret and Helga, Peter and Marion
♫ Girls want to kiss
♫ Hilde and Susanne, Sabine and Margot
♫ Elke and Elvira, Ellen and Beate
♫ Anneliese, Andrea, Ute and Claudia
♫ Klara and Sibylle and Jochen and Greta
♫ Kata, Doris, Isabella, Josefine
♫ Marina and Leni, Lotte and Christine
♫ Anna and Hanna and Gabi and Nicola
♫ Marianne, Elfriede, Else and Luise
♫ All girls want to kiss,
girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls, girls, girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls, girls want to kiss
♫ Girls want to kiss,
girls want to kiss, girls want to kiss
♫ Yes, girls want to kiss
Sit down, please.
Marianne, please get this done.
Sit down, why don't you!
Please excuse me, I have to take a leak.
I'll call my wife at home.
Sweetie, I'll come back late tonight,
because the Japanese guys are here.
Excuse me, the Japanese. Talk to you later.
Vodka, vodka, Marianne, vodka!
Cheerio! Cheerio...
♫ I've got a crush on you
♫ I'm mad about you
♫ I'm not appealing
♫ But I'm not boring either
♫ And when I look at you
♫ I'm feeling like never before
♫ I'm getting wild like a bull
♫ Then we play the piano
♫ The whole night through
♫ Until 7 in the morning
♫ Then you get up
♫ And I stay in bed
Johnny, something's knocking.
Don't you hear it?
-What's going on?
-I don't know.
-I'll have a look.
-You get up, I'll stay in bed.
What a night!
-What are you doing here?
-My mother.
Why is this TV broad doing here?
I'm fed up with this music thing!
If this is television,
I want no part of it.
-Don't make such a fuss.
-Get out of my house!
-But listen...
-Go away!
-My things...
-You'll get your things!
What does this woman have that I don't?
-There wasn't anything going on.
-Wasn't anything? What about the suit?
Answer you mummy
when she asks you something!
You'll wear it on television tonight.
Won't you, Johnny?
What will he do? Tonight on television?
We won't have any part of it!
After this night,
I can't calculate any more.
By the way, what was going on with these
Japanese guys yesterday?
Mr. Toi, I remember very well. You told
me to call your wife,
to tell her we're busy because the Japanese
are coming. And we drank rather much.
-I drank a lot?
-Yes. I really was worried about you.
You know you always need to take
your heart pills.
Good, Mr. Potzkothen.
Turn around a bit,
and then push the pedals really hard.
Yes, that's quite a swing.
But we need more, more!
Step up your game!
Now we can test it, let's see.
How's the little hearty
of Mr. Potzkothen doing?
Very nice, Mr. Potzkothen, marvelous.
Very nice. Thank you, Mr. Potzkothen,
you can stop now.
-Thank you!
-Oh, I see.
-Mr. Potzkothen.
-Is it over?
Looking at this... Did you ever think about
getting a pacemaker?
-I'm still young.
-But looking at your cardiogram... Here!
Especially here, in the alpine regions,
this isn't exactly top notch.
Look here, again and again it returns.
That goes to show that your young heart
isn't all that young anymore, after all.
Too much stress, not looking good.
But don't worry.
These days we can fix everything.
Get dressed now, come over to the office,
and I'll hand you a few prescriptions.
Marianne will take this off in a minute.
Marianne!
We won't do business with Johnny now
anyway. He made the deal with that editor.
What was I supposed to do, Mr. Toi?
She picked him up and went away with him.
Don't you know anything
about the weapons of a woman?
-Mr. Toi, you don't think that I...
-I don't think anything about you anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I did it.
I deserve a bonus for this.
Listen up, we'll be at the station at 6.
All right, see you then.
[La la la...]
Very good. Marvelous.
-That really was nice.
-And now "Calypso".
-He counts off.
-I count off.
1, 2, 3, 4
[Nonsense / gibberish lyrics]
If you find a fourth man
you can come back again.
By the way, Marianne, this is the last time
that I do business stuff like that at home.
Please book these appointments in time so
that we don't have to work weekends.
Speaking of weekends, Mr. Toi.
I only did this for the agency.
Ordinarily I do have spare time, too.
Don't stand up! Today we won't
deal with this. I'm fed up.
Oh no,
how did that Potzkothen woman find us here?
-What do you want?
-The contract for my Jürgen!
-Unbelievable. Go out and deal with her.
-Will do, Mr. Toi.
You can't escape her.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-I... I... Mr. Toi!
I'll sign any contract if that thing with
the disco works out tonight.
Of course, Miss Potzkothen!
Here, hand her this, please.
-Here, Miss Potzkothen, sign this.
-But it's settled with the disco, isn't it?
-Where? Where?
-There, please.
-That's it.
-Thank you, Miss Potzkothen.
-I thank you. Goodbye.
-Thank you, goodbye.
Agency Toi, Toi, Toi. Toi speaking.
"Dohm full"? "Music Full"? Ah, Miss Dohm,
haha, what is it?
I'm supposed to fall for that?
She really claims that she has a contract
with our Johnny Flash for tonight.
What a joke.
What do you think I have in front of me?
A contract with Johnny Flash.
Let me tell you something. Get your dirty
hands off of our Johnny.
Because he's signed with us.
Otherwise we'll see you in court.
Johnny is my discovery, capisce?
Over and out.
Nice!
Nice feeling with this device, Jürgen!
Reminds me of something.
Don't know of what, though.
Really a great thing. We should
get more devices like this, Jürgen.
You might become big on fitness
and a really big star.
Let me tell you something, we'll make
a lot of money with this Johnny Flash.
I think so too, Mr. Toi.
-Want another one?
-No, thank you, maybe later.
Mr. Toi, your sleeves.
There's a label on your sleeves.
-Where?
-There, on your left arm.
From the cleaner.
Well, Mr. Toi, here's the valid contract.
-And now what?
-A fight. With the weapons of a woman.
Jürgen, do you remember, back then,
the Rhine journey?
-That was beautiful.
-♫ I'm sitting here since eternity
♫ And look at the ships
gliding through water
♫ I'm combing my hair
with a small silver brush
♫ Some poor fools
already died because of it
♫ Confused by the glamor
of my golden locks
♫ Several boatmen leaned
too far over the bulwark
♫ The ship crashed directly at my feet
♫ The boatman paid for his curiosity
in a gruesome way
♫ Dee-del-di, dee-del-di, I am the Loreley
-Jürgen, don't fall asleep like that!
-Hey...
You need to focus on your performance.
Who is going to perform? You or I?
Why do you think
I drive with you to the disco?
Hello, say, was Jürgen in here today?
Not today.
He's at the racetrack with his mother
At the racetrack. Thank you, goodbye.
"... in front, followed by Benedikt and..."
-Go! Go! Thaler!
-Mother, I knew, I bet on Thaler! Number 4!
-Go! Go! Now!
-"He takes the lead"
-Yes! Yes, Wonderful!
-Shit! Thaler!
-Hey, didn't we bet on that one?
-That's what I said. Number 4! Thaler!
Like being kicked by a horse.
[German language pun]
-That wasn't just luck, mother.
-What a bargain!
-It was cleverness, too.
-Now we can... there's another one... here!
-Jürgen, that calls for a pastry orgy.
-No, we have to go to the disco.
-I'll take care of that. Let's take a cab.
-Mother, please!
Say, isn't there a race on today?
No, there isn't a race on the
Gallop Racetrack today.
We have a rabbit exhibition here. You have
to go to the trotters at Neuss-Meerbusch.
-Oh, thank you.
-Hope this helps.
-So, here we go. The Black Forest Cake?
-That's me.
Cream for the lady,
and pastry for the gentleman.
-Everything good? Enjoy your meal.
-Thank you.
See Jürgen, this is way better than
always this old Graham bread.
Mother, better hurry up. We don't even
know where that place is.
That's simple. We ask the waitress,
she's gonna tell us.
ESSEN / OBERHAUSEN
MÜHLHEIM-STYRUM, MÜHLHEIM CENTER
Say, where is this disco, "Miracle"?
There's no "Miracle" here,
I'm sure of that.
There must be. "Miracle" in Mühlheim.
But we're not in Mühlheim.
Here's [the small neighboring town] Styrup.
-Styrup? ... Then get me another coffee.
-That's what I said.
-Something for the young gentleman?
-We need to hurry.
-Nothing for him.
-One coffee, all right.
-One Persico [German liquor], please.
-Mother!
Don't worry.
Us Potzkothens are getting things done.
Don't be afraid. If you stay with mother,
you'll always be at the disco in time.
And now finish your meal.
Our star, Johnny, has left. Can't help it.
... Ok, I'll head over to the station now.
Jürgen, I'm as full as it gets.
And where's the Persico?
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
Jürgen, I believe it's time to go now.
-I think so, too.
-Well, I'll get my coat.
-Ma, wait a minute.
-What's this rambling under the table?
-I can't find my bag, with the music.
-Here, isn't this the one?
Jürgen, why don't you come already.
We need to find the cab we took earlier.
-Hello, can you help us?
-Yes?
-My son left a red bag in a cab earlier.
-About that big.
We came from the racetrack. Can you ask
around if anyone has found it?
I also left a coat, an overcoat, pale,
ask around, will you?
-A red bag and a pale overcoat?
-Yes, yes.
"Head office speaking. Someone lost
his bag. Red with music inside."
"Belongs to a pop singer.
He needs it urgently."
"If you find it, please contact us
immediately or bring it to disco Miracle."
"A red bag with music inside."
Can you turn around, please? I won't go to
the station, please drive me to "Miracle".
Bill Barns sings "Texas".
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas...
♫ My horse, my shoes, my belt, my spurs
♫ My gun, my west, my haaaaat
♫ I like all of that
♫ Yes, the cacti and the sand,
the prairie and its buffalos
♫ The Indians, the coyotes
and the wooooods
♫ Here I'll grow rooooots
♫ Yes, the saloon and the bank,
the hotel with the stable
♫ The prison,
the gallows with the rooooope
♫ All of that is pretty dope
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas... Texas...
♫ Texas...
-Finally!
-I didn't find Johnny.
-This can't be true!
-But I...
Listen, you stay here and trap him,
I'm going up and tell them to wait.
-You'll come up with him in a minute.
-Will do, Mr. Toi.
And now, my friends, something for
the romantics.
He comes to us directly
from his Cologne fireplace:
Pierre Lavendel with his
"Hundred Thousand Roses".
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ And that's why you stay with me
♫ For ever for ever
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ And that's why you stay with me
♫ Love in the autumn...
♫ ...of life is free like natuuuuuuuure
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
♫ Hundred thousand roses I send to thee
Pierre Lavendel! Pierre Lavendel
and his "Hundred Thousand Roses"
Pierre Lavendel!
Now for something upbeat again.
Singer number five is...
...renowned former hobby radioman Roy Kabel
with his hit "There Was a Spark".
Roy... Roy... Who... Roy...
-Who received the spark?
-I did.
-Nice, he got the spark.
♫ You turn around
♫ And I get hot and cold,
there was a spark with me
♫ You walk towards me and I get weak
in the knees, there was a spark with me
♫ Until now, I was alone
♫ But this is over, let it be known
♫ I kissed you and read in your face,
there was a spark with you
♫ There was a spark with you,
there was a spark with you
♫ There was a spark with you,
there was a spark with you
♫ A spark
Roy Kabel! Roy Kabel, our number five
with "There Was a Spark With Me".
Number four is, of course,
Christoph Schlingensief,
with the song, one moment,
with the song...
..."I Don't Care about Anything", and I
don't want no part of this, not on my show.
♫ Out of my way... I don't care...
with your face... for the last time...
♫ I'm not interested... piss off... you get
on my nerves... don't stress me out...
♫ But I love you... I need you...
Without you... (inaudible)
Oh what a relief, you made it after all.
Yes, we're here,
but we had a terrible accident.
The red bag with my music inside is gone.
Yes, but hopefully, a cab will bring it
along in a moment.
And now I'm back, your Roger!
Now I present you
the big star from Dortmund,
Dick Dynamics with "Disco Dancing".
Like someone out of a b-movie.
♫ Dancing... dancing...
[song continues in English]
Johnny, you won't get this music, you'll
go to the station and dance to my tune.
-Let go of me!
-Johnny, take it! Take it!
And now the star of the moment,
if I may say so.
Still, he's a down to carpet guy
and this is why we like him.
Here's Johnny Flash with the hit
"Love ain't awkward". Johnny Flash!
♫ Don't be petty, love ain't awkward
♫ If I blush anyway,
it's because of the ban
♫ Don't you be a bore
♫ Otherwise life's a chore
♫ Let's drown again in ticklish feelings
♫ Some day and somewhere
♫ Our hay goes up in flames
Cut! Finished! Get up!
-Wonderful! Jürgen!
-That was...
Jürgen! You're doing this for the future.
Your success, we'll have savings!
-They want more! Now, yes, now!
-I'm exhausted.
Let them wait a bit. You can do it.
You'll be the winner! Now, go on!
-Now, step in!
-My shoes!
Then slip them on. The crowd's boiling!
Go on! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
♫ If I can't hold you back,
I won't be staying with you
♫ If you leave anyway,
I won't follow you
♫ Don't decide without me,
why we don't get along
♫ I want to spend my life with you
♫ Hold me tight, I'm alone
♫ Why is everything gray?
♫ The heaven is thick with black clouds
♫ Since you went away
♫ Come back to me
♫ Come back to me
Thank you, thank you, Johnny, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thanks, that was our 35th Hit Parade,
this time the winner is Johnny Flash.
Thank you... Thank you and see you
next week. Good bye!
Thank you.
Jürgen, get up! Today we'll celebrate!
This sure is different. Especially since
it isn't Graham bread.
-I'm tired.
-Jürgen, now get up already.
-Let me...
-Did I read this to you?
Mom, let me sleep a bit longer.
"Rocket on the German pop skies."
"Appearing under his English stage name
'Johnny Flash' the formerly unknown
electrician in training Jürgen P. landed
a sensational success."
Jürgen, why don't they write "Potzkothen"?
"'Hold Me Tight', the hit song of the
sympathetic young man
jumped from zero to one on the hit parade.
Says his manager: 'I always knew it, Johnny
only has one goal, being number one.'"
-Jürgen, now I like that!
-Why so loud?
"An embarrassment backstage."
"A music editor was said to be run over
by enthused fans.
The hit parade, recorded in a local disco,
shows that German pop is on the rise.
One can only hope that the new cable and
satellite networks work with these talents,
instead of always showing
the same old same old."
-My words, exactly!
-Don't scream like that!
Jürgen, hurry up now! We have to go!
"Talents like Johnny will always make it.
Success is written onto their faces."
I'll make a copy of that.
And then I'll send it to aunt Else.
Let me sleep a little bit longer.
I'm having such a nice dream.