Johan (1976) - full transcript
While Philipe waits for Johan to come out of jail he starts recreating several moments of their relationship with the help of several friends during the summer of 1975.
Hello.
Do you have a place to go?
Yes.
Come on.
It's nice here.
Are you an artist?
Yes a little.
Come this way.
Dearest Johan.
Contrarily to what l told you,
l have to begin
the film without you.
L've got a camera during
the month of August,
and my crew
is getting impatient to shoot.
L can't wait any more.
Since your arrest l'm bored.
Paris is very hot.
L have been cruising
in the Tuileries Garden
to find a replacement for you,
but it's not easy.
Your arrest changed a lot of things;
l saw your lawyer,
he looks rather optimistic.
L kiss you.
L love you. Philippe.
Are you OK?
Do you like being fucked?
Of course; didn 't you see?
Especially by big cocks.
What are you doing in life?
Nothing important.
What's your name?
Philippe and you?
Mikel.
And you, what are you doing in life?
L'm in the film-business.
Yes? In front or behind the camera?
Behind.
Watch out for the cat.
See you.
Ok, by.
The first scene:
A foggy morning,
frozen rails,
an imaginary train,
the silhouette of Johan dancing.
Motor, action!
There's too much smoke.
Who made all this smoke?
It's the assistant again.
L don't see anybody.
Cue the dancer.
Where is the dancer.
L can't see the dancer.
L can't see anything.
Perhaps he's out of focus.
Stop shooting,
we're wasting footage.
Let's start again.
Here he is.
He's completely blurred.
Let's start again.
Here he is.
Is that one your dancer, Philippe?
He is good.
Where did you find him?
He is a professional dancer.
Is he?
He was much better in the smoke.
How was it?
Have l got the part?
How was it? Have l got the part?
You know, it's not my business;
l'm only your assistant,
but your actor!
So, how was it?
Do l get the part?
Good morning,
we've come to get the luggage.
Come in.
Shall we follow you?
No wait there for me.
Let's help her.
There is still all that?
It's high-class luggage.
He has good taste.
Watch out! Go under the wire.
Well, he owes you 950?
So, l'll pay you for the half?
Is a cheque OK?
Yes, give me a cheque.
Generally,
l don't accept cheques, but...
May l have a receipt?
Yes.
He'll give you the other half
when he comes out of jail.
When will he be out?
L don 't know;
he has not been judged yet.
It could be a long time.
Was he arrested here?
Yes, he was arrested here.
In the hotel?
Exactly.
L saw him handcuffed here.
Oh, did you?
Did the police
take anything from his room?
They looked through all his things,
all his gold jewellery.
Why did the y arrest him?
They didn't tell me.
Which was his room?
Room number 10, just upstairs.
What name do l write
on the cheque?
Girard.
Do l write my address on the back?
Yes please.
How did this boy behave here?
This boy.
Calm?
Very nice, no trouble.
It was a surprise.
Do you know why
he was sent to prison?
L don't.
Neither do I.
Nobody told me about it.
L just saw him handcuffed here.
He came handcuffed here?
What does he do for work?
He told me he was an actor.
Was he?
Had he already played in a film?
L don 't know;
a customer's private life
is none of my business.
He's playing in this film
but we'll ne ver see him.
He's playing in this film.
He often spoke about you.
Did he? What did he say?
He said: "Which friend telephoned?"
Did you speak to him sometimes?
Yes, when he was sitting here.
It's a nice hotel;
one can talk things over.
L give you this, and tell him...
OK
He'll pay you the other half later.
Fine, thank you very much.
Let's take all this.
We'll look inside later.
Your pen.
Oh, the painting!
Is it a film about emigrants?
Yes, it is.
Let's see what's inside.
There are some
very beautiful things.
Let's see the clothes.
He likes spangles very much.
It's strange because
it is not his style.
He made some costumes
for "Blue Angel".
If you find a photo of him,
let me have it.
L have no pictures of him.
L saw him wearing this costume.
Where?
In Saint Germain;
he looked good.
He likes leather and
military uniforms very much.
Is that him?
No.
He paints.
He's an artist.
Let's smoke a little, to relax.
Let's relax!
Where is your diamond ring?
L don't know.
Wonderful!
Do you think Pierre
can play the part of Johan?
Johan, the boy
who will replace you in the film
must be more
than just beautiful and a dancer.
What's the matter?
L don't want to.
You have never had sex
with a boy?
L only had sex with my twin.
His name is Johan. He's in jail.
Only with him?
That's odd. With your brother?
Yes and a twin.
Are you sad?
No.
And other boys
never attracted you?
Never... Only him.
Does he look like you?
Yes.
He is the same.
So, you have sex with yourself?
Yes.
L only like guys like me.
Dearest Johan,
We went together to your hotel
to fetch your things.
L paid the landlady for your debts.
She was not surprised
to see us with a camera.
You'll excuse our indiscretion,
but we looked a little
through your things.
L thought your clothes, your jewels
might help to reveal
something about you.
L discovered love letters.
L read some of them, very touching.
L was surprised it was your brother
who wrote them to you.
What time is it?
Ten past nine.
And what's happening here?
They are fags.
Are they? What are they doing?
You don't know what fags do?
In here?
Yes.
They are pissing?
No, fags are not pissing;
they are pretending to piss.
Are they?
People come driving by here, and
they take guys back to their flat.
Around eleven and midnight,
you'll see big cars stopping here.
Fords, Mercedes.
Yes, big bosses stop here.
What sort?
Of factories. Big heads.
You can make a film about that?
And what a film!
It'll sell in Pigalle.
Dearest Johan,
Tonight l met a Tunisian boy
under the metro
between Barbes and La Chapelle.
He was beautiful;
he could have played your part.
He took me with him
into a blind alley
close to a disused railway line.
The sky was clear;
l saw a shooting star,
and l made a wish
like when l was a kid.
As usual, we left each other
without speaking,
without exchanging addresses.
What's the use?
L only think to you.
Johan,
In the film, we'll shoot together,
my friend Christine
will have a leading role.
L don't know what
to tell you about that boy.
But l think he deserved to go to jail.
Because he was not nice
with a lot of guys.
He stole mone y everywhere.
And that, personally,
l don't accept.
Well, if prison
will help him understand.
How long will he be in jail?
L don't know.
Do you think l'm losing
my time with such a boy?
Honestly, yes.
L don't think so.
Honestly, yes.
L think.
Yes, perhaps
we can try to bring him back
into a regular life.
But l don 't think so,
because for him,
maybe it's an illness
to steal mone y everywhere.
Especially in this circle.
Everybody knows him.
Everybody knows each other,
and he'll go on.
L just wanted to know your opinion.
L think you 're wasting
your time with him.
Il don't.
Dearest Philippe,
this evening l am a little sad
because of the little argument
we had in the visitors' room.
As you say, it's true, l am superficial
and l'm never interested
in other people.
Maybe it's narcissism
or something else.
L can't help it if the life l have led
until now made me like that.
L had to manage alone all the time,
and certainly l am
an awfully selfish person.
Philippe,
my position now
is very complicated.
L am at a turning point in my life.
Either l continue the stupid life
l have led until now
and surely
l go back to prison soon.
Or rather, what l want now, is to
choose a very different life
with somebody l respect.
But l need to be
with somebody who trust me.
L am trying to tell you who l am.
Until now the only important thing
for me was to live in luxury.
And l recognise
l did anything to achieve that.
Maybe l was too proud,
but thanks to my face and my body,
l thought l could get
everything in life.
Inevitably, l lost everything
and l found myself alone each time.
So, l disliked everybody
and l only met people in a self-
interested way to get the best.
No Johan
Don't be sorry.
L know, l am your only mirror.
But what l love in you is everything:
Your beauty,
your narcissism,
your lies and
the tattoo on your forehead.
If you had been
only a sex champion,
l would ha ve left you
as l did the others.
You talk to me about a new start,
a different love,
another friendship.
Is it necessary?
From the beginning
our relationship made me happy.
You know that when you leave jail
l'll be there for you
and if you want
we can start a new life together.
Johan,
l am glad you have cured me
of this need for cruising
that begins with a drink in
the Cafe de Flore
and finishes by a jerk off
in a public garden.
It becomes an obsession
never satisfied.
Thanks to you,
my obsession has changed;
now it's to feel you
again at my side.
My love affair before you
was Manolo in New York.
New York...
It is easy for a gay man
to discover a new town.
It is one of our advantages.
We meet people.
Gay bars, night clubs,
and finally the sauna
where l stayed 24 hours
until l was exhausted.
The most hidden of my desires
had been satisfied.
Later in the street, l met Manolo.
Tired of sex,
l was available for love.
We didn't leave each other.
The smells were like
in an African town.
He had a balcony
that overlooked Manhattan.
Why did you lea ve Cuba?
L left Cuba because
l had recited a poem
in a TV programme,
and l was arrested,
It was a poem about old people.
L was arrested, l had troubles
and fortunately l succeeded in
escaping and leaving the country.
They said it was against
the system?
Yes they did
but l didn't understand why.
And was it hard for homosexuals?
Yes, l have known some
homosexuals from Cuba
who were obliged to do
hard labour for seven years
to be able to leave the country.
If somebody discovers
that you are gay,
a neighbour for example,
he can inform on you.
And then it's written
on your identity card forever.
Manolo had been
a child star on Cuban TV.
Now he is free and a student.
The atmosphere is different today...
Houses, chimneys,
everything is different today,
because l told them you are here.
L was happy.
We drank Californian wine,
and in the evening,
the Empire state Building
lit up only for us.
We had such a good time.
At night, after a Broadway show,
he took me to a leather bar.
If you want to leave with
another boy, you can.
L don't want to oblige you
to sta y with me.
L don't want to own you.
L don't understand.
He told me that l could go with
another bo y if l wanted to;
he wanted me to make the most
of my holidays.
L played the free game.
L went awa y with a guy
who had a nice body.
The next day Manolo and l
were very sad
and we never left each other again.
Why did you tell me that?
It's stupid.
Some months later,
Manolo came to see me in Paris.
We went for diner in a restaurant.
You were there.
L looked at you and
we didn't stop watching each other.
It was finished with Manolo,
love had flown away
towards somebody else.
In the film we will shoot together,
we will reconstitute exactly
how we met,
to never forget it.
Have you an idea
of your part in the movie?
It's a little vague at the moment.
L represent a little your character.
One of your sides.
Which one?
Your dark side, the cruiser.
What is that?
You search in my pockets now?
It's poppers.
There is a pharmaceutical word.
Amyl Nitrite.
L brought it from London.
Sniff it once.
It liberates a lot people.
And this?
You surround the cock with this;
you fasten it.
This is for the balls,
one on the right,
one on the left.
And the cock is...
There.
Balls here.
And what does it do?
It helps to get a hard on,
and it's pleasant to wear.
And this?
It's a cock-ring.
It's nearly the same thing.
You put your cock inside,
the balls too and there it is.
It might stop the circulation!
Not at all.
L saw in New York boys
with rings through the nipples.
Do you want that?
No, l don't.
You know, l am not really into it;
neither am l out of it.
L am in the middle
and l prefer to stay a novice.
It's not necessary to go too far.
On the other hand, l have some
buddies who are very experienced.
Me, l look at all this from outside.
Good e vening.
It's nice to meet you.
Is that for me?
It's for Mother's Day.
You're so nice.
It's a pleasure for me.
They are so beautiful.
Good e vening.
How do you do?
Johan
On Mother's Day
l had lunch at my mother's.
You called me
and she invited you
to have a coffee with us.
You came ten minutes later
with a huge bunch of flowers.
Cut. It's good.
Philippe, do l get the role of Johan?
This poor Johan. L don't know
what to think about him.
L guess he has a lot of problems
in different ways.
He is a little e xhibitionist
in his behaviour,
his tattoo.
He is a little too much.
And you think he has problems?
L think so.
Maybe from his childhood.
And with him, we ne ver know when
he lies and when he tells the truth.
And, that has got him
where he is now.
Do you think l am right to go on
with such a relationship?
L don 't think
it will lead you anywhere.
You'll only get into trouble with him.
What?
He's not a good partner.
What sort of boy
would you like me to be with?
What a question...
First, somebody older.
It's not good to be
two young guys together.
That's my opinion.
L think one of them must be
a steadying influence
in such a relationship.
L think it's the same for women.
What do you think about
the film l am shooting now?
L think it's interesting
and it's fashionable.
Don't you think it helps
to liberate people?
Surely.
Anyway, nowadays
people are rather liberated.
Do you think so?
L do.
We had a lot of difficulties filming
boys in the Tuileries gardens.
They didn't want their mother
to know they were gay.
Oh, mother problems
is a different thing!
You know,
not all mothers are like me.
Maybe some in Paris.
But in the provinces...
they are not accustomed to it.
You have a different behaviour
in front of the camera.
Maybe because...
you are asking me questions
you never asked me before.
Then l am a little embarrassed.
To tell you the truth,
you never asked me that before.
So, it's not easy.
Hello boys; Johan is coming back.
How are you?
You are sitting in a strange way.
May l smoke one?
It's so hot in here.
L don't know if Johan
would undress, but l will.
About Johan, it would be nice
if you went to visit him.
L'll be filming on Saturday,
and it's his birthday
he wrote to me this morning
and he would like
to get some grass.
You could bring him some
hidden in a towel.
Grass hidden in a towel?
What a crazy guy he is!
It's true,
he needs some clothes and some
marijuana hidden in a towel.
But we will end up in jail together.
It's easy: You unpick the towel;
you put the grass inside and
you sew it up again.
He always has strong ideas.
Read your book and shut up.
Finally, we're going to be cool!
My ammunition?
Yes my ammunition.
Yes l smashed all cops' barriers
and l came here.
Here is my ammunition.
Here is my ammunition.
She is more and more crazy.
No it's not ether.
No It's for heart patients.
About heart patients,
l have to tell you a story.
It's incredible.
When the cops arrested Johan,
he had his little bottle like me.
And the cops asked him:
"What's that bottle sir?"
"It's for my heart,
don't take it away."
And little Johan, sniffing, said...
My hart guys!
L sniffed a lot.
Then they kept the bottle saying:
"Well, we'll see if it's for your heart."
And every five minutes
Johan was saying
"Please sir, give me
my little bottle, l feel bad".
The first time,
when l saw you for the audition,
l didn't know you were a sadist.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because people
don't say such things.
And it's not written on the face.
Yes, l became sadistic because,
one year ago,
l began to go to such parties.
L was in vited,
and it turned out that l was sadist
and not masochist.
L could have been masochist.
Because it's a desire you get when
you see the others doing it.
Already when l was a kid,
l liked fighting very much.
Well, when you see somebody
punching somebody else,
if you want to punch, you do it.
If you prefer to be beaten,
you ask to be beaten.
But it's not written here
masochist or sadist.
And when you're looking for a job,
it's not good to say:
"L am a sadist, if you ha ve people
to punch, call me".
You don't say that sort of thing.
We know, because we all know
each other.
Among sadists and masochists
you have some who like
to hurt morally,
and others who prefer to hurt bodily.
Me l like to hurt physically,
but l don 't like to be hit.
We meet a lot of physically
masochists among old people.
More among guys from 45 to 60
than younger guys.
Very few young men
like physical pain.
They prefer moral pain.
You, you like this?
Yes l am a sadist!
When two people are having sex,
there is action.
Here, the action is the pain;
it's also the feeling of the one
who gives this pain.
Me, l just have the feeling of
crushing...
somebody weaker than me.
He can be stronger than me,
but l crush him all the same
because l am not masochist.
Oh, l had one...
One night, we had a party;
When something like that happens
they ask me to come.
Then, Jean Lou arrives.
And he earns 300 or 400 francs
for the night.
It's not bad.
This man. L stuck needles in him.
But it was not painful
enough for him.
Then another one came
and helped me.
That one is incredible.
He's the one who enjoys
dissecting little cats,
he puts some ants in their belly,
he sews the skin up again
He is a really hard sadist.
Then we had German barbed wire,
with spikes;
not the shit French one.
And we didn't use sewing needles,
but knitting needles.
Then we stuck
the barbed wire in here
and had a guy on one side
and a guy on the other side.
And the man was enjoying it
more and more.
L remember one.
We had to tie his cock
when it was not hard.
Then we hurt him
and his cock couldn't get an
erection because it was tight.
And little by little it split.
Not the cock itself
but the skin all round.
It's funny because
this sort of man can withstand pain.
Two hours later, they stand up,
it's finished;
they have made love.
Three legionnaires in the desert.
Johan, you were in the legion.
You deserted after two years.
You will tell us your stories.
Go guy!
You cheat fag!
Say it again.
Take care of your ass, bitch.
L'm going to fuck you.
L take off the jacket.
Cut, it's good.
Do l look like the character
you are looking for?
Johan
My cameraman had an idea.
As we haven't found an actor
to play your part,
he thought l could play it myself,
because l know you the best.
Me becoming you,
the idea is fascinating but very
worrying too.
To become the one l love
frightens me a little.
However, maybe you are
my double,
this other half, as Plato said,
which was torn out of me
by the anger of Greek Gods.
There will be a scene on the stairs
of the Madeleine church.
Fran?ois do you want an egg?
Don't put the shell on the floor.
What do we do with that?
Where do l put it?
It's for the extras.
They'll cross like that?
With candles and torches.
Look Fran?ois is it ok when l cross?
The tattoo.
Johan
We will direct
the Hollywood scene you wrote,
the one on the stairs of the
Madeleine church.
You and me dressed in white,
sitting on a big white horse;
and all around us in front of
every column
a lot of extras dressed with togas
and carrying torches in each hand.
Dearest Johan,
At the Delign y swimming pool,
l met Walter,
a black American actor.
He is very cultivated
and makes delightful pastries.
Do you remember the first time
l had se x with you?
We nearly didn't do it.
L could not get an erection because
my desire was too strong.
L should have sta yed against you,
motionless,
enjoying that moment.
It's normal,
l had found what l had been
looking for, for a long time.
Do your remember the gift
you gave me or l gave you?
We'll never know who was guilty.
Personally, l think it was you.
And now l am going to make you a
chocolate cake.
Tell me; your man spends
his life in the kitchen?
How do we make
a chocolate cake?
Yes of course, some chocolate,
some eggs,
some grapes to give
an exotic taste.
And what else do we put?
Some sugar of course.
When is this cake coming?
Now!
Some flour;
we ha ve to mix;
some ginger.
Poor little cat,
you too are waiting for the cake?
Everybody wants his piece of cake
this night.
L think l don't need poppers.
L feel the same.
The cat is a star.
Yes you are a film star.
L think the cake is coming!
Some whipped cream.
Well, if l don't find a man,
l'll take you.
Here is your cake, darling.
Do you like it?
And what do l do now?
Incredible that cake.
What a chef he is!
You're not too tired?
Tired, no;
l feel good.
You are beautiful.
Really? Is that a man's opinion?
Are you still OK?
Always. Take my word for it.
For what?
We'll certainly do it,
He has to come out for that.
We'll do it with Johan?
We'll do it with Johan.
All three; it'll be great!
L belie ve.
It will be the child of three people.
Our child.
Who'll be the father?
We don't know.
We'll all three do it
and he'll be the child
of three people.
Yes, he'll be the child
of three people.
Two fathers, one mother.
There are so many children
without a father.
He will ha ve two!
L'm sure the kid will like that.
Do you like Johan?
Yes,
l think he's wonderful.
He has a fantastic personality.
He has presence.
When he arrived this night
with his little bottle.
Do you remember?
And it's the first time l met him.
L think he is the kind of man
people see once and never forget.
L am happy you are ready to do it.
You don't mind being
the only girl in the film?
Not at all. L am your only girlfriend;
it's absolutely normal.
The last scene of the film:
L'd like you to do a wide shot of
the Montparnasse tower.
We ought to find a pink Rolls Royce
entering the shot.
It stops.
The driver must be in uniform.
Close up on him
when he comes out of the car.
Second shot:
Close up of Johan who leaves the
car; he is covered with jewels.
L come out of the car too,
from the opposite door.
L am in evening dress.
We are slightly drunk.
Track in following Johan and me
until we reach the entrance
of the tower.
He throws a champagne glass
in the air and we go in.
It would be nice to do a shot from
inside the lift.
We both enter the lift;
the door closes.
Shot of the floors numbers
changing.
Wide panoramic over Paris
lit up at night.
Reverse shot on the dance floor
where Johan and me...
are dancing cheek to cheek
among other couples.
So: The camera pans over the
night life of Paris.
And then, the shot of the dancers.
Johan,
it's strange,
Ivan Roberto, the last actor who
played your role,
and George Barber
who pla yed mine,
left Paris together
and no one knows where they are.
Anyway, l'll never find anyone
to play your part.
You're the only one who can do it.
Summer is ending;
the Tuileries fair is finished
and l'll wait until you get out of jail.
Have participated in this film...
Hi! Have you been here long?
One hour?
Are you sad Philippe?
It's the emotion.
Is he going to come out Sir?
Shit,
what is this prison!
L'm rolling the cigarette
of the free man.
And behind the camera
What a car!
It's Maria Callas.
Johan wanted La Callas to be there
when he got out of jail.
Are you happy Philippe?
L am a little anxious.
Why, because he is coming out?
No, because the movie
is beginning now.
The real one this time.
Do you have a place to go?
Yes.
Come on.
It's nice here.
Are you an artist?
Yes a little.
Come this way.
Dearest Johan.
Contrarily to what l told you,
l have to begin
the film without you.
L've got a camera during
the month of August,
and my crew
is getting impatient to shoot.
L can't wait any more.
Since your arrest l'm bored.
Paris is very hot.
L have been cruising
in the Tuileries Garden
to find a replacement for you,
but it's not easy.
Your arrest changed a lot of things;
l saw your lawyer,
he looks rather optimistic.
L kiss you.
L love you. Philippe.
Are you OK?
Do you like being fucked?
Of course; didn 't you see?
Especially by big cocks.
What are you doing in life?
Nothing important.
What's your name?
Philippe and you?
Mikel.
And you, what are you doing in life?
L'm in the film-business.
Yes? In front or behind the camera?
Behind.
Watch out for the cat.
See you.
Ok, by.
The first scene:
A foggy morning,
frozen rails,
an imaginary train,
the silhouette of Johan dancing.
Motor, action!
There's too much smoke.
Who made all this smoke?
It's the assistant again.
L don't see anybody.
Cue the dancer.
Where is the dancer.
L can't see the dancer.
L can't see anything.
Perhaps he's out of focus.
Stop shooting,
we're wasting footage.
Let's start again.
Here he is.
He's completely blurred.
Let's start again.
Here he is.
Is that one your dancer, Philippe?
He is good.
Where did you find him?
He is a professional dancer.
Is he?
He was much better in the smoke.
How was it?
Have l got the part?
How was it? Have l got the part?
You know, it's not my business;
l'm only your assistant,
but your actor!
So, how was it?
Do l get the part?
Good morning,
we've come to get the luggage.
Come in.
Shall we follow you?
No wait there for me.
Let's help her.
There is still all that?
It's high-class luggage.
He has good taste.
Watch out! Go under the wire.
Well, he owes you 950?
So, l'll pay you for the half?
Is a cheque OK?
Yes, give me a cheque.
Generally,
l don't accept cheques, but...
May l have a receipt?
Yes.
He'll give you the other half
when he comes out of jail.
When will he be out?
L don 't know;
he has not been judged yet.
It could be a long time.
Was he arrested here?
Yes, he was arrested here.
In the hotel?
Exactly.
L saw him handcuffed here.
Oh, did you?
Did the police
take anything from his room?
They looked through all his things,
all his gold jewellery.
Why did the y arrest him?
They didn't tell me.
Which was his room?
Room number 10, just upstairs.
What name do l write
on the cheque?
Girard.
Do l write my address on the back?
Yes please.
How did this boy behave here?
This boy.
Calm?
Very nice, no trouble.
It was a surprise.
Do you know why
he was sent to prison?
L don't.
Neither do I.
Nobody told me about it.
L just saw him handcuffed here.
He came handcuffed here?
What does he do for work?
He told me he was an actor.
Was he?
Had he already played in a film?
L don 't know;
a customer's private life
is none of my business.
He's playing in this film
but we'll ne ver see him.
He's playing in this film.
He often spoke about you.
Did he? What did he say?
He said: "Which friend telephoned?"
Did you speak to him sometimes?
Yes, when he was sitting here.
It's a nice hotel;
one can talk things over.
L give you this, and tell him...
OK
He'll pay you the other half later.
Fine, thank you very much.
Let's take all this.
We'll look inside later.
Your pen.
Oh, the painting!
Is it a film about emigrants?
Yes, it is.
Let's see what's inside.
There are some
very beautiful things.
Let's see the clothes.
He likes spangles very much.
It's strange because
it is not his style.
He made some costumes
for "Blue Angel".
If you find a photo of him,
let me have it.
L have no pictures of him.
L saw him wearing this costume.
Where?
In Saint Germain;
he looked good.
He likes leather and
military uniforms very much.
Is that him?
No.
He paints.
He's an artist.
Let's smoke a little, to relax.
Let's relax!
Where is your diamond ring?
L don't know.
Wonderful!
Do you think Pierre
can play the part of Johan?
Johan, the boy
who will replace you in the film
must be more
than just beautiful and a dancer.
What's the matter?
L don't want to.
You have never had sex
with a boy?
L only had sex with my twin.
His name is Johan. He's in jail.
Only with him?
That's odd. With your brother?
Yes and a twin.
Are you sad?
No.
And other boys
never attracted you?
Never... Only him.
Does he look like you?
Yes.
He is the same.
So, you have sex with yourself?
Yes.
L only like guys like me.
Dearest Johan,
We went together to your hotel
to fetch your things.
L paid the landlady for your debts.
She was not surprised
to see us with a camera.
You'll excuse our indiscretion,
but we looked a little
through your things.
L thought your clothes, your jewels
might help to reveal
something about you.
L discovered love letters.
L read some of them, very touching.
L was surprised it was your brother
who wrote them to you.
What time is it?
Ten past nine.
And what's happening here?
They are fags.
Are they? What are they doing?
You don't know what fags do?
In here?
Yes.
They are pissing?
No, fags are not pissing;
they are pretending to piss.
Are they?
People come driving by here, and
they take guys back to their flat.
Around eleven and midnight,
you'll see big cars stopping here.
Fords, Mercedes.
Yes, big bosses stop here.
What sort?
Of factories. Big heads.
You can make a film about that?
And what a film!
It'll sell in Pigalle.
Dearest Johan,
Tonight l met a Tunisian boy
under the metro
between Barbes and La Chapelle.
He was beautiful;
he could have played your part.
He took me with him
into a blind alley
close to a disused railway line.
The sky was clear;
l saw a shooting star,
and l made a wish
like when l was a kid.
As usual, we left each other
without speaking,
without exchanging addresses.
What's the use?
L only think to you.
Johan,
In the film, we'll shoot together,
my friend Christine
will have a leading role.
L don't know what
to tell you about that boy.
But l think he deserved to go to jail.
Because he was not nice
with a lot of guys.
He stole mone y everywhere.
And that, personally,
l don't accept.
Well, if prison
will help him understand.
How long will he be in jail?
L don't know.
Do you think l'm losing
my time with such a boy?
Honestly, yes.
L don't think so.
Honestly, yes.
L think.
Yes, perhaps
we can try to bring him back
into a regular life.
But l don 't think so,
because for him,
maybe it's an illness
to steal mone y everywhere.
Especially in this circle.
Everybody knows him.
Everybody knows each other,
and he'll go on.
L just wanted to know your opinion.
L think you 're wasting
your time with him.
Il don't.
Dearest Philippe,
this evening l am a little sad
because of the little argument
we had in the visitors' room.
As you say, it's true, l am superficial
and l'm never interested
in other people.
Maybe it's narcissism
or something else.
L can't help it if the life l have led
until now made me like that.
L had to manage alone all the time,
and certainly l am
an awfully selfish person.
Philippe,
my position now
is very complicated.
L am at a turning point in my life.
Either l continue the stupid life
l have led until now
and surely
l go back to prison soon.
Or rather, what l want now, is to
choose a very different life
with somebody l respect.
But l need to be
with somebody who trust me.
L am trying to tell you who l am.
Until now the only important thing
for me was to live in luxury.
And l recognise
l did anything to achieve that.
Maybe l was too proud,
but thanks to my face and my body,
l thought l could get
everything in life.
Inevitably, l lost everything
and l found myself alone each time.
So, l disliked everybody
and l only met people in a self-
interested way to get the best.
No Johan
Don't be sorry.
L know, l am your only mirror.
But what l love in you is everything:
Your beauty,
your narcissism,
your lies and
the tattoo on your forehead.
If you had been
only a sex champion,
l would ha ve left you
as l did the others.
You talk to me about a new start,
a different love,
another friendship.
Is it necessary?
From the beginning
our relationship made me happy.
You know that when you leave jail
l'll be there for you
and if you want
we can start a new life together.
Johan,
l am glad you have cured me
of this need for cruising
that begins with a drink in
the Cafe de Flore
and finishes by a jerk off
in a public garden.
It becomes an obsession
never satisfied.
Thanks to you,
my obsession has changed;
now it's to feel you
again at my side.
My love affair before you
was Manolo in New York.
New York...
It is easy for a gay man
to discover a new town.
It is one of our advantages.
We meet people.
Gay bars, night clubs,
and finally the sauna
where l stayed 24 hours
until l was exhausted.
The most hidden of my desires
had been satisfied.
Later in the street, l met Manolo.
Tired of sex,
l was available for love.
We didn't leave each other.
The smells were like
in an African town.
He had a balcony
that overlooked Manhattan.
Why did you lea ve Cuba?
L left Cuba because
l had recited a poem
in a TV programme,
and l was arrested,
It was a poem about old people.
L was arrested, l had troubles
and fortunately l succeeded in
escaping and leaving the country.
They said it was against
the system?
Yes they did
but l didn't understand why.
And was it hard for homosexuals?
Yes, l have known some
homosexuals from Cuba
who were obliged to do
hard labour for seven years
to be able to leave the country.
If somebody discovers
that you are gay,
a neighbour for example,
he can inform on you.
And then it's written
on your identity card forever.
Manolo had been
a child star on Cuban TV.
Now he is free and a student.
The atmosphere is different today...
Houses, chimneys,
everything is different today,
because l told them you are here.
L was happy.
We drank Californian wine,
and in the evening,
the Empire state Building
lit up only for us.
We had such a good time.
At night, after a Broadway show,
he took me to a leather bar.
If you want to leave with
another boy, you can.
L don't want to oblige you
to sta y with me.
L don't want to own you.
L don't understand.
He told me that l could go with
another bo y if l wanted to;
he wanted me to make the most
of my holidays.
L played the free game.
L went awa y with a guy
who had a nice body.
The next day Manolo and l
were very sad
and we never left each other again.
Why did you tell me that?
It's stupid.
Some months later,
Manolo came to see me in Paris.
We went for diner in a restaurant.
You were there.
L looked at you and
we didn't stop watching each other.
It was finished with Manolo,
love had flown away
towards somebody else.
In the film we will shoot together,
we will reconstitute exactly
how we met,
to never forget it.
Have you an idea
of your part in the movie?
It's a little vague at the moment.
L represent a little your character.
One of your sides.
Which one?
Your dark side, the cruiser.
What is that?
You search in my pockets now?
It's poppers.
There is a pharmaceutical word.
Amyl Nitrite.
L brought it from London.
Sniff it once.
It liberates a lot people.
And this?
You surround the cock with this;
you fasten it.
This is for the balls,
one on the right,
one on the left.
And the cock is...
There.
Balls here.
And what does it do?
It helps to get a hard on,
and it's pleasant to wear.
And this?
It's a cock-ring.
It's nearly the same thing.
You put your cock inside,
the balls too and there it is.
It might stop the circulation!
Not at all.
L saw in New York boys
with rings through the nipples.
Do you want that?
No, l don't.
You know, l am not really into it;
neither am l out of it.
L am in the middle
and l prefer to stay a novice.
It's not necessary to go too far.
On the other hand, l have some
buddies who are very experienced.
Me, l look at all this from outside.
Good e vening.
It's nice to meet you.
Is that for me?
It's for Mother's Day.
You're so nice.
It's a pleasure for me.
They are so beautiful.
Good e vening.
How do you do?
Johan
On Mother's Day
l had lunch at my mother's.
You called me
and she invited you
to have a coffee with us.
You came ten minutes later
with a huge bunch of flowers.
Cut. It's good.
Philippe, do l get the role of Johan?
This poor Johan. L don't know
what to think about him.
L guess he has a lot of problems
in different ways.
He is a little e xhibitionist
in his behaviour,
his tattoo.
He is a little too much.
And you think he has problems?
L think so.
Maybe from his childhood.
And with him, we ne ver know when
he lies and when he tells the truth.
And, that has got him
where he is now.
Do you think l am right to go on
with such a relationship?
L don 't think
it will lead you anywhere.
You'll only get into trouble with him.
What?
He's not a good partner.
What sort of boy
would you like me to be with?
What a question...
First, somebody older.
It's not good to be
two young guys together.
That's my opinion.
L think one of them must be
a steadying influence
in such a relationship.
L think it's the same for women.
What do you think about
the film l am shooting now?
L think it's interesting
and it's fashionable.
Don't you think it helps
to liberate people?
Surely.
Anyway, nowadays
people are rather liberated.
Do you think so?
L do.
We had a lot of difficulties filming
boys in the Tuileries gardens.
They didn't want their mother
to know they were gay.
Oh, mother problems
is a different thing!
You know,
not all mothers are like me.
Maybe some in Paris.
But in the provinces...
they are not accustomed to it.
You have a different behaviour
in front of the camera.
Maybe because...
you are asking me questions
you never asked me before.
Then l am a little embarrassed.
To tell you the truth,
you never asked me that before.
So, it's not easy.
Hello boys; Johan is coming back.
How are you?
You are sitting in a strange way.
May l smoke one?
It's so hot in here.
L don't know if Johan
would undress, but l will.
About Johan, it would be nice
if you went to visit him.
L'll be filming on Saturday,
and it's his birthday
he wrote to me this morning
and he would like
to get some grass.
You could bring him some
hidden in a towel.
Grass hidden in a towel?
What a crazy guy he is!
It's true,
he needs some clothes and some
marijuana hidden in a towel.
But we will end up in jail together.
It's easy: You unpick the towel;
you put the grass inside and
you sew it up again.
He always has strong ideas.
Read your book and shut up.
Finally, we're going to be cool!
My ammunition?
Yes my ammunition.
Yes l smashed all cops' barriers
and l came here.
Here is my ammunition.
Here is my ammunition.
She is more and more crazy.
No it's not ether.
No It's for heart patients.
About heart patients,
l have to tell you a story.
It's incredible.
When the cops arrested Johan,
he had his little bottle like me.
And the cops asked him:
"What's that bottle sir?"
"It's for my heart,
don't take it away."
And little Johan, sniffing, said...
My hart guys!
L sniffed a lot.
Then they kept the bottle saying:
"Well, we'll see if it's for your heart."
And every five minutes
Johan was saying
"Please sir, give me
my little bottle, l feel bad".
The first time,
when l saw you for the audition,
l didn't know you were a sadist.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because people
don't say such things.
And it's not written on the face.
Yes, l became sadistic because,
one year ago,
l began to go to such parties.
L was in vited,
and it turned out that l was sadist
and not masochist.
L could have been masochist.
Because it's a desire you get when
you see the others doing it.
Already when l was a kid,
l liked fighting very much.
Well, when you see somebody
punching somebody else,
if you want to punch, you do it.
If you prefer to be beaten,
you ask to be beaten.
But it's not written here
masochist or sadist.
And when you're looking for a job,
it's not good to say:
"L am a sadist, if you ha ve people
to punch, call me".
You don't say that sort of thing.
We know, because we all know
each other.
Among sadists and masochists
you have some who like
to hurt morally,
and others who prefer to hurt bodily.
Me l like to hurt physically,
but l don 't like to be hit.
We meet a lot of physically
masochists among old people.
More among guys from 45 to 60
than younger guys.
Very few young men
like physical pain.
They prefer moral pain.
You, you like this?
Yes l am a sadist!
When two people are having sex,
there is action.
Here, the action is the pain;
it's also the feeling of the one
who gives this pain.
Me, l just have the feeling of
crushing...
somebody weaker than me.
He can be stronger than me,
but l crush him all the same
because l am not masochist.
Oh, l had one...
One night, we had a party;
When something like that happens
they ask me to come.
Then, Jean Lou arrives.
And he earns 300 or 400 francs
for the night.
It's not bad.
This man. L stuck needles in him.
But it was not painful
enough for him.
Then another one came
and helped me.
That one is incredible.
He's the one who enjoys
dissecting little cats,
he puts some ants in their belly,
he sews the skin up again
He is a really hard sadist.
Then we had German barbed wire,
with spikes;
not the shit French one.
And we didn't use sewing needles,
but knitting needles.
Then we stuck
the barbed wire in here
and had a guy on one side
and a guy on the other side.
And the man was enjoying it
more and more.
L remember one.
We had to tie his cock
when it was not hard.
Then we hurt him
and his cock couldn't get an
erection because it was tight.
And little by little it split.
Not the cock itself
but the skin all round.
It's funny because
this sort of man can withstand pain.
Two hours later, they stand up,
it's finished;
they have made love.
Three legionnaires in the desert.
Johan, you were in the legion.
You deserted after two years.
You will tell us your stories.
Go guy!
You cheat fag!
Say it again.
Take care of your ass, bitch.
L'm going to fuck you.
L take off the jacket.
Cut, it's good.
Do l look like the character
you are looking for?
Johan
My cameraman had an idea.
As we haven't found an actor
to play your part,
he thought l could play it myself,
because l know you the best.
Me becoming you,
the idea is fascinating but very
worrying too.
To become the one l love
frightens me a little.
However, maybe you are
my double,
this other half, as Plato said,
which was torn out of me
by the anger of Greek Gods.
There will be a scene on the stairs
of the Madeleine church.
Fran?ois do you want an egg?
Don't put the shell on the floor.
What do we do with that?
Where do l put it?
It's for the extras.
They'll cross like that?
With candles and torches.
Look Fran?ois is it ok when l cross?
The tattoo.
Johan
We will direct
the Hollywood scene you wrote,
the one on the stairs of the
Madeleine church.
You and me dressed in white,
sitting on a big white horse;
and all around us in front of
every column
a lot of extras dressed with togas
and carrying torches in each hand.
Dearest Johan,
At the Delign y swimming pool,
l met Walter,
a black American actor.
He is very cultivated
and makes delightful pastries.
Do you remember the first time
l had se x with you?
We nearly didn't do it.
L could not get an erection because
my desire was too strong.
L should have sta yed against you,
motionless,
enjoying that moment.
It's normal,
l had found what l had been
looking for, for a long time.
Do your remember the gift
you gave me or l gave you?
We'll never know who was guilty.
Personally, l think it was you.
And now l am going to make you a
chocolate cake.
Tell me; your man spends
his life in the kitchen?
How do we make
a chocolate cake?
Yes of course, some chocolate,
some eggs,
some grapes to give
an exotic taste.
And what else do we put?
Some sugar of course.
When is this cake coming?
Now!
Some flour;
we ha ve to mix;
some ginger.
Poor little cat,
you too are waiting for the cake?
Everybody wants his piece of cake
this night.
L think l don't need poppers.
L feel the same.
The cat is a star.
Yes you are a film star.
L think the cake is coming!
Some whipped cream.
Well, if l don't find a man,
l'll take you.
Here is your cake, darling.
Do you like it?
And what do l do now?
Incredible that cake.
What a chef he is!
You're not too tired?
Tired, no;
l feel good.
You are beautiful.
Really? Is that a man's opinion?
Are you still OK?
Always. Take my word for it.
For what?
We'll certainly do it,
He has to come out for that.
We'll do it with Johan?
We'll do it with Johan.
All three; it'll be great!
L belie ve.
It will be the child of three people.
Our child.
Who'll be the father?
We don't know.
We'll all three do it
and he'll be the child
of three people.
Yes, he'll be the child
of three people.
Two fathers, one mother.
There are so many children
without a father.
He will ha ve two!
L'm sure the kid will like that.
Do you like Johan?
Yes,
l think he's wonderful.
He has a fantastic personality.
He has presence.
When he arrived this night
with his little bottle.
Do you remember?
And it's the first time l met him.
L think he is the kind of man
people see once and never forget.
L am happy you are ready to do it.
You don't mind being
the only girl in the film?
Not at all. L am your only girlfriend;
it's absolutely normal.
The last scene of the film:
L'd like you to do a wide shot of
the Montparnasse tower.
We ought to find a pink Rolls Royce
entering the shot.
It stops.
The driver must be in uniform.
Close up on him
when he comes out of the car.
Second shot:
Close up of Johan who leaves the
car; he is covered with jewels.
L come out of the car too,
from the opposite door.
L am in evening dress.
We are slightly drunk.
Track in following Johan and me
until we reach the entrance
of the tower.
He throws a champagne glass
in the air and we go in.
It would be nice to do a shot from
inside the lift.
We both enter the lift;
the door closes.
Shot of the floors numbers
changing.
Wide panoramic over Paris
lit up at night.
Reverse shot on the dance floor
where Johan and me...
are dancing cheek to cheek
among other couples.
So: The camera pans over the
night life of Paris.
And then, the shot of the dancers.
Johan,
it's strange,
Ivan Roberto, the last actor who
played your role,
and George Barber
who pla yed mine,
left Paris together
and no one knows where they are.
Anyway, l'll never find anyone
to play your part.
You're the only one who can do it.
Summer is ending;
the Tuileries fair is finished
and l'll wait until you get out of jail.
Have participated in this film...
Hi! Have you been here long?
One hour?
Are you sad Philippe?
It's the emotion.
Is he going to come out Sir?
Shit,
what is this prison!
L'm rolling the cigarette
of the free man.
And behind the camera
What a car!
It's Maria Callas.
Johan wanted La Callas to be there
when he got out of jail.
Are you happy Philippe?
L am a little anxious.
Why, because he is coming out?
No, because the movie
is beginning now.
The real one this time.