Jogo de Damas (2015) - full transcript
Following Marta's wake, her five best friends decide to spend the night at a rural tourist getaway that Marta never got around to opening. That long night becomes a maze-like journey through their interconnecting friendships, where each reveals herself as it was the last day. On the eve of the burial, the talk is about life and a friendship that survived it all. But will this friendship be able to survive death?
GAME OF CHECKERS
There's no doubt life happens
when we are planning something else.
Were you planning
something else today?
What? Don't be silly.
That's what my mother says.
And it's true: life happens when
we are planning something else.
She didn't make this up;
it was some musician,
some singer or whatever...
My mother used to say that
we must learn to 'tame our losses'.
Tame?
Yes, tame.
Sit. Stay. Heel.
Oh fucking hell.
l can't stay here!
l'm going to light a fire.
The house is freezing.
Can l have a fag?
Sorry.
lt's all coming to an end.
And we are next.
We, who have survived
the end of the world.
Do you remember?
Bloody great new year's eve!
When we thought the world
would end at midnight.
We must have been bloody stupid,
bloody young, to believe it.
l'm sorry l didn't answer your calls.
lf the world were to end at midnight,
we'd have needed to know:
midnight in which country?
Have you lost your mobile again?
Oh l hate the end.
Always hated the end.
Maybe because in my life,
everything started at the end.
l never made it.
The minute anything
started, it was already over...
There are things that finish
without beginning.
lt's weird.
lf they haven't really begun,
they don't really end either.
The lack of a beginning is frustrating.
lt's even worse
than having no direction.
Oh, l don't know.
People talk of direction as if life
would come complete with GPS.
Then things happen
and we understand
that life is to be
used up before we die.
l hate the countryside.
Have you noticed that rats and birds
make a similar sound when they move?
l never know whether
to feel soppy or disgusted.
The countryside depresses me too.
How stupid were we
to have fallen out by email.
Don't die, l need you.
Oh, you're here?
Nobody's going to stay
in this bedroom.
ls anybody hungry?
l'll cook some pasta.
Shall l?
Shall l see if there's some wine?
l can help.
l had a nightmare. We were
in this room, the six of us,
l felt a huge emptiness,
a real distress.
How does one get over this?
lt's as if l'm numb.
l don't know.
Do you want me to shut up?
No.
lf it could do any good,
l'd go on pilgrimage to Fátima.
You?
To Fátima?
Did l ever tell you? Weren't you
with us when l told this story?
This woman who works with me
had a very sick
husband and she made a promise she'd
go to Fátima if he got better.
Then l asked her:
are you walking there?
No, she said,
l'm driving and l won'tspeak at all.
lmagine that!
Her pledge was
to drive to Fátima in silence!
Can you believe it?
Well, some people find it a real
problem to be silent...
Yea... l've been there.
Not anymore though.
People say death
is like a second chance.
Not for those who die!
No, for the others, for those who
remain, those who go crazy.
You've always
behaved like a normal person,
and suddenly you want to change.
Sudden change is a killer.
- Kills who?
- lt kills the others.
Those who are used to think
you are a straight down the line good girl.
Death is like a second chance
for going crazy.
You've never been a good girl.
And you've gone mad ages ago.
Oh, all right. So have you!
Gosh, l feel so sick.
You must be hungry, darling.
The house ended up
looking really nice.
What now?
Do you want some help?
No, thanks.
l can make a salad.
Fine, if you like...
Can you move, please?
Have you read your letter?
Yes, we all have.
Haven't you?
l have.
Emma, that's not important,
especially now.
l'm putting some music on...
This is too depressing.
Well, l'm leaving.
All this isn't making any sense.
l can't bear it!
You're not going anywhere.
We're all staying here.
Just like Marta wanted.
- Are we?
- We are.
Why the fuck do you think
you can say that?
You, who didn't even bother
to come to my mother's funeral!
Oh, not again! l had an opening night,
l couldn't go. l've said sorry. l am sorry!
l don't give a shit about
your opening nights!
lsn't our friendship more important?
lt is.
Do you know how l felt when l
realised you weren't going to be there?
You didn't come
to my mother's funeral!
Saying now that l can't leave?
What right have you got to say that?
Go on, pick up the phone.
Pick up the fucking phone.
lt may be important!
lt's all about contacts, contacts,
contacts, contacts.
People, people manage the contacts,
have dinner with the contacts,
have sex with the contacts!
Bloody hell!
That's why when l was a kid
the word 'adult' always
sounded like a four letter word!
Anna, l'm your friend.
l've always been your friend.
Friendship is peanuts
when you're a teenager.
You make a few promises,
you have a few drinks,
it's easy peasy.
The problem starts when you
grow up thinking you are superior
because you've grown up
with yourchildhood friends.
Now, people change and just as well!
Your childhood friends are not
going to be there your whole life.
And just as well.
Teenagers try to adapt
to what is around them,
they try to be like
what is around them, get it?
So they don't feel lonely,
left behind or different.
But it all ends up being a lie.
We are forever lying.
We even lie to ourselves.
Oh for fuck's sake!
What's this talk for now?
lt's very simple:
teenagers are potential people.
They are people in the past!
And we grow up and we change.
And suddenly we find out
we have nothing in common
anymore with our fellow travellers?
Get it?
That's why l want to leave.
We've spent our lives together...
Till death did us part!
Anna!
Please don't go!
Running away is the easiest option.
We agreed we'd stay the night here,
the five of us.
For her sake. For OUR sake.
As you like...
What?
Running away is the easiest option.
My poor brother.
And poor kids.
Poor Marta, who didn't have time
to start her life project.
You really have to talk, don't you?
We're all here.
We've got to confront this.
And how do you do that?
Tell me.
l'm sorry.
Truly.
l didn't mean to hurt you.
l didn't believe half the
crap l said anyway.
Gosh, you are particularly
sane today...
Pass the wine, please.
Thanks.
l was reading the letter.
Would you like some pasta?
Have some.
Let me give you some.
What? Don't you like the pasta?
Nobody says anything...
The pasta is all right.
l mean, it's not 'al dente'.
How long did it boil for?
Really?
Really Emma?
Are you worried about how long
the bloody pasta cooked for?
Your best friend has justdied
and that's what's bugging you?
l apologise to you for not being able
to cook the pasta 'al dente' because
l was feeling slightly upset.
For goodness sake, Emma!
Don't get mad.
lt's just not like the pasta
Marta used to cook.
She lived in ltaly.
But it's fine as it is.
What about the meatballs?
This is more like balls in oil.
Ooooh, l haven't seen
any of those for a while...
Actually, what we should do
is go travelling all together.
Travel the world,
the six of us,
the five of us.
ln the letter, Marta said that
she had heard me tell the nurse
l was her best friend,
to which the nurse replied
'you are the fifth person
to have told me that'.
Have you been puffing away?
Oh come on, let's.
A proper trip.
We spend our lives working.
l've spent my life locked up,
life goes so fast.
l've spent my life locked up,
working and taking care of my mother.
That's life, isn't it?
We are born,
we live and we die
and you can be absolutely
sure it all happens in this order.
Where have you been,
what the heck have you been doing?
l just went round and round.
l got lost.
And then l ran over a hare.
lt just ran in front of the car.
l killed a hare.
lt's just like a maze round here.
lt's really hard to get here.
l think Marta wasn't going to be very
successful with this holiday letting.
People can't get
to this back of beyond.
See? Did you hear
what she's just said?
Just before you got here,
l was saying something similar
and everybody jumped on me!
Dalila got really angry.
Well, l like it here. lt's beautiful.
Alcácer is beautiful.
lt is.
And in the letter, Marta says
she wanted us to have this place.
Well, as long as we are able to.
We've lived half of our lives.
And the last one to go will
be left alone.
How dreadful!
l can't begin to imagine that.
l'm scared of being left on my own.
What Marta wanted was that we all
stayed here together as we grew old.
Bah, as you see, it's not worth
making a lot of plans.
Growing old is quite a good plan.
There are people
who don't manage that.
We had so many plans!
Do you remember
that New Year's eve?
When Marta dragged us all
to Cape Verde?
Do you remember what for?
To tell us about holiday lettings...!
And our luggage was left behind,
do you remember?
- Oh, how can you?
- Excuse me?!
We had no luggage; we left the
airport with no luggage,
only the clothes we
were wearing. Remember?
l shared a room with you and then
you spotted a giant cockroach
and spent the night chasing it,
trying to spray it to death!
Totally Kafkaesque, really!
Naaa... that wasn't in Cape Verde,
it was in Morocco!
And we hired a
Mercedes S600 from Mr. Tereozil!
Mr. who?
Mr. Tereozil! Tereozil!
From the hotel!
He was very thin, very old
and always wore a little red jacket.
Yeaaa, and he had about
twenty grandchildren.
And you managed to totally
smash his Mercedes.
No, no, it wasn't me!
lt was Maria who wrecked it!
So it was!
lt was Maria.
We ended up spending
New Year's Eve
in some sort of Cape Verdian shack.
And Marta danced and danced...
She was so happy.
And we got groped
by men and women, it was crazy.
Monica thought we're
all going to get raped.
She pushed off.
lt was tricky.
We didn't even know where we were.
What a nightmare!
There's no doubt that being a woman...
women are always fucked.
Women are always more fucked.
- No need to exaggerate.
- Well, it's true.
Women take care of the home,
women take care of the children,
women go to work,
women get raped,
women suffer domestic abuse.
lt may not always be like
this, but it's pretty much so.
Women earn less.
That's not always the case.
Ah, you are the lucky one,
aren't you?
lt took a lot of effort to be lucky!
There are women who don't
even have the right to work,
so let's not even go there.
Don't have the right to chose
who they marry. Very young.
With any luck they might
get to chose who will rape them.
For fuck sake, Anna!
What nonsense.
Well, we've got to look
at the bright side.
Women are always fucked,
you're right.
Always fucked. Black. White.
lt's like a game of chequers:
they are there for the taking!
Worse than being a woman
it's being old.
The old are the ones who
always draw the short straw.
This is sounding like a political
rally... So much generalisation!
The truth is that the old are always
being promised longer lives,
better living conditions.
But our expectations of life
don't get better.
Life expectancy should really
mean life's expectations. But no...
lt's as if you are talking about a
football match with extra time.
What l would really like is a pill.
As soon as life started to hurt a lot,
l'd pop the pill and it was all over.
That'll be my next film.
The title: AlR.
Look, that's something
we've all got in common.
This dependency, air.
Absolutely.
No air, no extra time...
lt's still one of the few things
you don't pay for.
So far...
Yeah, old age is a real bummer.
No one has ever any time
for old people.
They've lived a whole life and they
should be able to die of old age.
But no.
They die of ending.
Maria, do you mind
smoking over there.
We haven't finished dinner yet.
Thanks.
When l killed the hare,
l cried so much.
l stopped the car
and just cried.
Are you serious?
Did you really kill a hare?
l did, l was just saying a while ago.
l haven't smoked that much.
How old was the hare?
You must be joking!
How should l know?
You didn't even let it
say goodbye to its family.
lt's not funny!
That's a morbid sense of humour,
don't you think?. You are getting bitter.
You're worrying about a dead hare
when we're supposed
to be mourning for Marta?
Are you mad?
Oh, calm down.
You sound like those middle aged spinsters
who transfer their affections to animals.
They are motherly to cats and dogs
and parakeets.
And they don't give a
shit about people.
Of course there are always those people
who can't cope with animals or people.
And that is really the worst,
isn't it?
Have you heard
Drummond's Bulgarian joke?
Ah, you're going to tell us a joke?
How fitting! Go on then.
Fine, l won't!
You will! Now you will. Spit it out!
'Once upon a time, there was a
naturalist czar who hunted men.
When he was told
that people also hunted
butterflies and swallows, he was very
shocked and declared it barbaric.'
ls that it?
ls that a joke?
And a poem.
Well,
l want Drummond to get lost!
l think it's absolutely unbelievable how
badly people go on treating animals.
lt doesn't make any sense,
it's unbelievable!
Can you stop this now?
l gave her the paintings.
Do you know the last thing
l said to Marta?
l had so much to say,
if only l knew it was the last time...
lt's horrible to be late.
l hugged her...
and whispered:
'lt's all going to be fine'.
But it wasn't.
You were the last person to talk to her:
what did you say?
l told her not to worry,
that l'd take care of my nephews,
because l thought that would be
a dying mother's biggest concern.
Oh, l think l just talked drivel then...
We managed to smoke a joint.
ln the hospital?!
Marta doesn't smoke joints!
There's a lot you don't know
about Marta.
l'm going out to breathe
some fresh air.
l'm going to call my brother
and find out how they are doing.
l feel l can't say anything...
You're always silent.
What's going on
between you and Monica?
Hello?
Hi sweetie, hi my darling,
how are you?
Have you had supper yet?
What have you eaten?
Yummie!
l wish l were there with you.
Yes, l'm fine, l'm fine, fine...
Oh, are you?
Well, be careful, will you?
Watch out for too much drinking
and who's driving.
We've got enough
on our plate as it is.
l didn't say you shouldn't go.
Go and have fun.
All right.
Can l speak to dad now?
Ok.
Love to you too.
Hello...
Yes, l'm fine and you?
lt's not being easy.
After the funeral,
l'll get out of here!
Yes... and what are you up to?
Oh, good.
No, we haven't watched any television,
don't even know if there's one here or not.
Yes, we are.
We're all here.
Anna flipped and left,
she's back now.
Yes, she's here too.
No.
That one hasn't peeped.
l don't think she'll talk to me though,
it's not the time, really.
Well, without Marta
this is going to be madness.
l don't know who made up that
'that which doesn't kill us
makes us stronger',
it's not true:
that which kills, just kills!
What?
All right.
We'll do that.
l'll need it.
Fine, fine.
l miss you and l love you.
A bit better everyday.
Yes. l'll call my brother.
Ok. Big kiss.
Bye darling, bye..
Hello...
darling boy... How are you?
And the children?
She talked to me about you.
Didn't you go see her?
l did.
l used to go later in the day.
She really loved you.
ln a special way.
l felt that, you know.
Are you all right, darling?
No... l'm cold.
Thank you.
l'll get some more wine.
Did you speak to your brother?
How are the kids?
They're not good.
At my age, l couldn't cope
with losing my mother,
now just imagine at their age!
Poor darlings.
And your son?
ls he with his father?
Yes.
Did you call him?
No.
Have you been speaking to him?
But what do you want to know?
Emma, l've already told you,
it doesn't matter a thing.
But if you want to say something,
just do it!
Just speak plainly.
Don't beat around the bush.
What you need to say,
say it to me if you don't mind.
But... did you go and tell Marta?
You told her?
She was dying and you told
her about your little nothings?
Well, if you don't have the guts,
just don't say anything then!
What did Marta say to you?
Just saw Marta's dog outside,
poor animal, it's like
he's looking for her. Really odd.
How awful...
My grandfather's dog,
his name was Kaiser,
when grandpa went away to hospital,
he must have thought
he had gone for good.
When he came back, he jumped up
at him with such joy that he died.
What?!
He died of a heart attack.
Poor Kaiser.
He was a gun dog.
ln the end, he died of love.
Did you grandfather shoot?
This reminds me of a play l saw ages
ago about this woman who had a lover,
and when the lover died,
she had her dog killed so that she
could cry freely in front of her husband.
Oh!
l don't want to hear this!
She killed the dog to be able to pine.
She loved the dog!
How dreadful!
Wasn't it a play by Jorge de Sena?
l saw it. lt's called 'Bereavement'.
l found a bottle of champagne
and put it in the freezer? Any takers?
Not me.
l'm sorry, but what are we celebrating?
- The dog's death!
- Which dog?
Jorge de Sena's dog. Oh, forget it...
Emma, it's time you do some therapy on
your friends because they're really in need!
Doctor, doctor...
Yes, tell me...
Doctor, l've never loved...
l beg your pardon,
but that's utterly impossible.
All right, l did.
l loved my mother.
l loved myself, l loved you lot.
But that's about it.
No, that's not about it!
lt's one hundred euros!
- You're joking!?
- l'm not!
How long haven't you had
a boyfriend?
Long time.
What about sex, how long?
Hummm, let me see...
Oohh, that seems long!
Can't remember.
Seriously? How boring!
- How do you manage?
- l've packed up.
You've packed up!?
We're so young!
- Are we?
- We are.
- Really?
- Yes!
Aren't we...
What about you Emma?
What's up? How's life?
l deal mostly with other people's lives.
Yea, we know that. But psychoanalysts
have a life of their own too, don't they?
They do.
l heard you've been
giving mega parties...
Really? How would you know?
Your neighbours
complained to the landlady.
What, they rang
and you said nothing to me?
l don't care about
your bloody neighbours;
l just want you to be happy!
But what did they say?
The building manager rang me to say
that your neighbours
complained of 'noises'.
There were a lot of noises.
Noises? Noises?
Noises?
Come, come...
Who's he?
What is it?
l only mentioned it because
we're among friends.
Oh, l think she's embarrassed
because one of the two is my husband
and since he, as far as l know,
is not one for screaming,
it must have been her!
Stop that!
Don't do this now, we'll do it later.
Everything must be tidied up,
we need to leave it all tidy.
l'm making a cake.
What are you making?
lf l find some flour...
We'll be hungry in no time
and we can have some tea and cake.
Tidying up is growing old...
tidying up is growing old...
What's happened?
What the heck is
happening with you, eh?
Stop that.
Will you stop it!
Sorry...
Sorry...
- l've got to say sorry too.
- No, l am sorry.
He came to the practice,
he wanted some therapy.
We started the sessions and...
l should have told you,
but l wasn't brave enough.
He told me.
Yes, but l should have been
the one to tell you.
l am your friend.
But l just couldn't, l...
Monica,
l've been living with this thing
since Marta's illness and
l haven't been able to tell
about this that's, stifling me.
And l need to tell,
but l can't.
Go on.
l can't, l can't.
Just say it.
Ok, l'll tell, but l'll tell all of you.
lf it was with you,
what would you do?
l'd, l'd just go mental...
l'm just saying it can happen
to anybody.
And if l got off with your husband?
l wouldn't do that... lmpossible.
The impossible happens.
When we love someone a lot,
there's loyalty.
Yes, but there's also loyalty
to the other person
whom we may also love very much.
What does one do with such news?
Oh, l hope they sort it out...
l just hope they remember
we were all happy once.
And that we're all going to die.
Oh, you are such fools!
And l think they are back together
anyway.
That l can't understand!
Why should you regret
past relationships.
You gave it a try,
you weren't happy.
lt's over.
Why try again?
To be unhappy all over again?
So, is everything all right?
No.
There's something l'd like to tell you.
Yes?
You know how much l like trees.
l love lime trees.
There's a big lime tree in Estrela Park.
When you come in, you take 32 steps
to reach the lime tree.
And very soon, l'll only be able
to manage 20 steps,
then 15,
10,
5...
Can you please just say
what you've got to say...
Speak so that we understand you!
l've got A-L-S.
A what?
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
That's why l borrowed
that money from you.
To go abroad for a second opinion.
Why didn't you say?
l wasn't sure.
You know to ask me for money and
you don't let me know what it's for?
That's not here or there...
lt certainly is! We are friends!
So, your friend is telling you she is
ill and you are talking money?
l'm not talking money,
l'm talking friendship.
Yes, but friendship isn't perfect
and unfortunately nor are friends!
But you act as if you were...
Oh, stop it, you two!
You take on things, you care...
Don't you ever falter?
She sleeps with your husband and it's
not important! Don't you ever flip?
l do. l do.
Disloyalty, that really gets me.
Now what are you going on about?
l saw you in the hospital.
l saw how upset she was...
l saw you kissing.
Fucking hell! l tell you l'm going
to die and nobody gives a toss!
We're all going to die!
Dalila,
lt's hard writing to you.
This way is more of a farewell.
l'm sorry but it's not fair that one
has to suffer in silence,
disguising half of one's feelings.
l'm much feebler than l always seem.
l was frightened by what
l felt and l ran away.
You were the greatest
surprise of my life,
but l wasn't brave enough.
How strange!
You were right after all.
l was to lose everything.
And then it would be too late.
That's how it was, that's how it is.
l spent my life
postponing my happiness,
but l can't leave again
without you knowing this:
you were my most intimate hope.
l always believed that one day
l'd be happy with you.
l wasted time,
not knowing it would run out.
Now it's too late
but l'm not afraid of anything anymore.
You can tell whoever you want,
if you like.
Write it on all the walls of the world.
lt will be difficult to leave without you,
to leave this secret in your hands.
You can keep it if you prefer,
you can bury it with me.
Mystery has always been your strength.
You've always balanced
on that fine hair called doubt.
lt's always been your knot
which l tightened the hardest.
l had wanted
to be tangled in your hair.
My poor brother...
How could you do that to him?
Did your brother know?
No.
Are there any further revelations tonight?
Any other secrets
we should know about?
l'm so sober!
l'll get some more wine.
But did you sleep with her?
l think l'm going to roll a joint...
this is too much for one night...
l knew.
What did Marta tell you?
She told me not to look for her
if she left.
That she would be happier than ever.
But she never mentioned you.
She thought that a secret was
too heavy a weight to be passed on,
and l on the contrary thought it was
the greatest proof of friendship
anybody could give.
But you know how Marta was.
And now, looking back,
l think l've always known it was you.
How are you feeling?
l don't know.
l miss her terribly.
l feel guilty, scared...
don't know whether
l'll be able to cope.
And l'm feeling terribly sick.
Disgust and mourning are the same.
Death makes one sick.
Marta was always anxious,
a bundle of nerves.
Whenever she got nervous,
instead of taking a tranquiliser,
she took a sickness pill.
l feel guilty.
As if it was this that killed her.
You don't die of love...
l don't know...
when she gave us up,
l nearly died.
She had left her husband by then.
She didn't have to leave anything else.
The kids were so young.
Children always belong
to the mothers, don't they?
She still went back to Vasco
for a while, didn't she?
l actually gave her a book of poems
by a friend of mine with an appropriate title:
''Luck favours the boys''.
Dalila, you are unreal!
She also laughed.
She knew me so well.
l should have stayed with her
in the hospital,
l shouldn't have left
even for a second,
l should have held her hand
till the end.
But l was scared.
Monica was always around,
like a police woman, taking care,
you know how she is,
l didn't dare...
l waited for her to be awake,
to be alone...
l shouldn't have left,
not even for a second.
l'm so stupid.
As if what l feel was forbidden...
l'd have liked a love like that.
You still can.
Too late.
We wanted so much to leave...
we had so many plans.
But, like Monica says, you mustn't
make plans, isn't that right?
Yes.
And you?
Are you in pain?
No, not yet.
But you will be... God willing!
Do you believe in God?
Don't know...
But l hope He believes in me.
lf he exists.
l think l deserve that.
After all, He was the only one
l never lied to...
Every night l ask God
that He may exist.
At the moment, it's the only
thing He could do for me...
For us.
lf He can make this miracle happen,
the one of existing, it's not bad at all.
They say God teaches you how to die.
God or the idea of God?
Either or...
Then Marta died by mistake.
l think the same as Anna:
what the fuck is this friendship?
All our tangled knots...
And now?
Now what?
Our knots.
What's going to happen?
lt'll be as always, all will be well,
all will be well.
Are you going to tell your brother?
Yes, he's my brother.
But, if Marta didn't... She didn't
want him to know, nor the kids.
Of course l won't tell the kids.
But l'll have to tell my brother.
lt's odd, all this...
l really wanted
Marta to be happy.
With whomever she wanted.
With my brother or with Dalila...
Why are people so complicated?
Do you think l'm being complicated?
l think you're being selfish.
Am l being selfish?
You say you wanted Marta to be happy,
but see how you reacted.
And it would have been the same
if she were alive.
lt's difficult to accept
other people's happiness
if it interferes a bit with ours,
isn't it?
Yes.
Monica...
Marta wasn't even
with your brother anymore.
Give me Dalila's glass.
Thank you.
She's really low, isn't she?
Thank you.
lt's such hard work to be alive.
This is what we need:
to relax... to laugh.
You are really happy on purpose,
aren't you?
lf you're saying it like an insult,
it's not gonna work...
l'm not.
You should have a little puff.
C'mon, a little puff for Marta's sake.
l like being alert.
So why aren't you?
Go on, have some...
lt's always the same with you lot!
l don't want any puffs!
Just the one!
lt's always the same with you lot...
Give it to me!
Thank you.
Are you smoking dope?
- No, she's the one smoking... Here.
- Are you her mother?
No, but she's sick,
it's bad for her, isn't?
lt's not bad at all, you see,
this is medicinal!
And it makes one oblivious,
which is very important.
Today, we need to forget.
Tomorrow we'll remember
everything again,
but today,
we're gonna forget about it all.
Don't you want to forget?
No.
l like to keep my memories.
l like remembering all
the good things. Forever.
Ahhhh, you're doing your
special little laughter.
l remember, when we were kids,
you were so naughty!
- You were so naughty!
- No.
You were!
These days all you do is take care.
You take care of everyone,
you never let anyone take care of you...
You know, when you're stoned
you become such a bore!
Bitch!
Do you want some?
ls everything all right?
Everything's all right.
So... was it because of Marta that
you were on the run?
l wasn't on the run,
l was only being evasive.
l miss you on my opening nights,
you always speak your mind.
Not always.
Marta enjoyed it so much...
lt was the last time she went out.
That's why l didn't come.
Next time, you're coming.
Promise?
No.
l'd rather be with you.
Lately l've only seen you in character.
You keep hiding.
l'm evasive. That's all.
Tell me, doctor!
Tell me about your problems.
Tell me honestly! Doctor!
Come on! Speak to me!
Anna, you should have done
some bereavement therapy.
You've become unbalanced
since your mother died!
Which therapy?
- Bereavement!
- Bereavement!
You're totally unbalanced!
- Me?
- Yes!
- Me, unbalanced?
- Completely unbalanced!
- Look at me.
- Oh Anna, be careful.
l'm not going to get you
out of the pool!
Super-balanced!
Monica, we won't
get you out of the pool, forget it!
Careful!
Oh, Anna, you're too far gone!
You're going to fall in, you'll get hurt!
So, your illness is the same
Zeca Afonso's had, isn't it?
lt is...
l really like Zeca Afonso, love him!
l like that song 'The Half-beach lndians'.
Yes, Zeca Afonso died aged 57.
But l can't remember the lyrics now.
But l can remember the one
of the vampires, it goes like this:
'They grab it all, they grab it all, they
grab it all and leave absolutely nothing.'
'They grab it all, they grab it all, they
grab it all and leave absolutely nothing.'
They smoke it all, they smoke it all,
they smoke it all, and leave fuck all too!
When you feel like it,
you look for information on the illness
and then we can talk.
Wait Emma!
Let's look it up now.
Let's look it up now,
there has to be something online.
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Als.
A-L-S, Maria, A-L-S!
Sometimes,
l feel like doing this to you.
Are you going to tell your brother?
Don't know...
But l ought to.
You always do what you ought to,
don't you?
You may not know your brother.
What?
What do you mean?
Why are you talking
about my brother now?
Has he ever told you why they split up?
Perhaps your brother also has secrets.
We all do, don't we?
Yes, but l don't want to hear,
don't want to know.
l don't want to know
anything else, especially today.
l can't take any more.
l think we'd better accept
we can't all look well in a photograph,
there's always one side
of our profile that looks worse...
Which one is yours?
The one you can't see.
The one no one can.
Because of this Emma thing,
Mário told me all about it and now
we're all 'lovey dovey' again.
Your best friend slept with your
husband and that got you going!
No!
lt's not that at all!
He told me about it
and that trust got us closer.
Sex?
- Yes, as a matter of fact!
- Was it good?
Better than ever.
lt's always been good, by the way,
but that time it
was exceedingly good.
Thank Emma then!
Do you think l ought to?
- Yes.
- Do you?
Watch me.
Emma,
Emma...
Ah, now we're talking..
Emma!
- We are talking...
- l want to thank you.
Sorry, what do you mean?
l must be really high, you want what?
l want to thank you.
Thank you.
What are you thanking me for?
l'm totally knocked out...
For being you,
for having done all you did
and probably because
l've smoked a joint.
l should think so too!
lt's really hitting me now,
l can hear bells...
Gosh, l've got a stale mouth,
give it to me.
l think we should toast to Emma.
Wait.
Glasses?
Have we got any?
Have this one.
- To Emma!
- To Emma's health!
Maria, don't be daft...
l'm totally unhealthy!
Shut up.
We're here to take care of you,
now and when you're a little old lady.
Yes, we'll take it in turns.
Ah, that's an excellent idea!
You'll queue up
to push my wheelchair!
We'll live here forever,
till we're really old...
How frightening!
Speak for yourself,
l don't think l'll make it.
Of course you will!
You'll bury us all!
Listen, l'm the first to be buried,
do you know why?
Because l'm very ill!
l never loved!
l never loved,
l never loved anybody!
lt sounds like the title
of a third rate novel.
That'd be fun...
lf each one of us were a book title...
'Me - The Stranger Within.'
Mine would be
'The man of my life is a woman.'
Absolutely right!
She's won, she's won!
l'd be 'l'm all ears.'
l actually want to write a book
based on my patients' reports,
l mean, no real names of course...
Based on an absolutely fundamental
fact which is that it is our conscience,
the movement of
our actions that makes
the world change,
that makes things happen around us.
There's this idea
l've been defending:
people who come into my practice
and who want to change the world.
People want to change the world
with their conscience...
You're so worried about death
that you forget to live.
What?
That's what Marta said of you.
Anna, come on!
Where's Dalila?
- How stupid what we've done.
- How stupid.
Where's she gone?
Last thing l said to her was...
'see you tomorrow.'
You say to me till tomorrow
For you're sure to have to go...
But tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know...
l smoke yet another fag
l think of a thousand things
For tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know.
You say to me till tomorrow
For you're sure to have to go...
But tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know...
There's no doubt life happens
when we are planning something else.
Were you planning
something else today?
What? Don't be silly.
That's what my mother says.
And it's true: life happens when
we are planning something else.
She didn't make this up;
it was some musician,
some singer or whatever...
My mother used to say that
we must learn to 'tame our losses'.
Tame?
Yes, tame.
Sit. Stay. Heel.
Oh fucking hell.
l can't stay here!
l'm going to light a fire.
The house is freezing.
Can l have a fag?
Sorry.
lt's all coming to an end.
And we are next.
We, who have survived
the end of the world.
Do you remember?
Bloody great new year's eve!
When we thought the world
would end at midnight.
We must have been bloody stupid,
bloody young, to believe it.
l'm sorry l didn't answer your calls.
lf the world were to end at midnight,
we'd have needed to know:
midnight in which country?
Have you lost your mobile again?
Oh l hate the end.
Always hated the end.
Maybe because in my life,
everything started at the end.
l never made it.
The minute anything
started, it was already over...
There are things that finish
without beginning.
lt's weird.
lf they haven't really begun,
they don't really end either.
The lack of a beginning is frustrating.
lt's even worse
than having no direction.
Oh, l don't know.
People talk of direction as if life
would come complete with GPS.
Then things happen
and we understand
that life is to be
used up before we die.
l hate the countryside.
Have you noticed that rats and birds
make a similar sound when they move?
l never know whether
to feel soppy or disgusted.
The countryside depresses me too.
How stupid were we
to have fallen out by email.
Don't die, l need you.
Oh, you're here?
Nobody's going to stay
in this bedroom.
ls anybody hungry?
l'll cook some pasta.
Shall l?
Shall l see if there's some wine?
l can help.
l had a nightmare. We were
in this room, the six of us,
l felt a huge emptiness,
a real distress.
How does one get over this?
lt's as if l'm numb.
l don't know.
Do you want me to shut up?
No.
lf it could do any good,
l'd go on pilgrimage to Fátima.
You?
To Fátima?
Did l ever tell you? Weren't you
with us when l told this story?
This woman who works with me
had a very sick
husband and she made a promise she'd
go to Fátima if he got better.
Then l asked her:
are you walking there?
No, she said,
l'm driving and l won'tspeak at all.
lmagine that!
Her pledge was
to drive to Fátima in silence!
Can you believe it?
Well, some people find it a real
problem to be silent...
Yea... l've been there.
Not anymore though.
People say death
is like a second chance.
Not for those who die!
No, for the others, for those who
remain, those who go crazy.
You've always
behaved like a normal person,
and suddenly you want to change.
Sudden change is a killer.
- Kills who?
- lt kills the others.
Those who are used to think
you are a straight down the line good girl.
Death is like a second chance
for going crazy.
You've never been a good girl.
And you've gone mad ages ago.
Oh, all right. So have you!
Gosh, l feel so sick.
You must be hungry, darling.
The house ended up
looking really nice.
What now?
Do you want some help?
No, thanks.
l can make a salad.
Fine, if you like...
Can you move, please?
Have you read your letter?
Yes, we all have.
Haven't you?
l have.
Emma, that's not important,
especially now.
l'm putting some music on...
This is too depressing.
Well, l'm leaving.
All this isn't making any sense.
l can't bear it!
You're not going anywhere.
We're all staying here.
Just like Marta wanted.
- Are we?
- We are.
Why the fuck do you think
you can say that?
You, who didn't even bother
to come to my mother's funeral!
Oh, not again! l had an opening night,
l couldn't go. l've said sorry. l am sorry!
l don't give a shit about
your opening nights!
lsn't our friendship more important?
lt is.
Do you know how l felt when l
realised you weren't going to be there?
You didn't come
to my mother's funeral!
Saying now that l can't leave?
What right have you got to say that?
Go on, pick up the phone.
Pick up the fucking phone.
lt may be important!
lt's all about contacts, contacts,
contacts, contacts.
People, people manage the contacts,
have dinner with the contacts,
have sex with the contacts!
Bloody hell!
That's why when l was a kid
the word 'adult' always
sounded like a four letter word!
Anna, l'm your friend.
l've always been your friend.
Friendship is peanuts
when you're a teenager.
You make a few promises,
you have a few drinks,
it's easy peasy.
The problem starts when you
grow up thinking you are superior
because you've grown up
with yourchildhood friends.
Now, people change and just as well!
Your childhood friends are not
going to be there your whole life.
And just as well.
Teenagers try to adapt
to what is around them,
they try to be like
what is around them, get it?
So they don't feel lonely,
left behind or different.
But it all ends up being a lie.
We are forever lying.
We even lie to ourselves.
Oh for fuck's sake!
What's this talk for now?
lt's very simple:
teenagers are potential people.
They are people in the past!
And we grow up and we change.
And suddenly we find out
we have nothing in common
anymore with our fellow travellers?
Get it?
That's why l want to leave.
We've spent our lives together...
Till death did us part!
Anna!
Please don't go!
Running away is the easiest option.
We agreed we'd stay the night here,
the five of us.
For her sake. For OUR sake.
As you like...
What?
Running away is the easiest option.
My poor brother.
And poor kids.
Poor Marta, who didn't have time
to start her life project.
You really have to talk, don't you?
We're all here.
We've got to confront this.
And how do you do that?
Tell me.
l'm sorry.
Truly.
l didn't mean to hurt you.
l didn't believe half the
crap l said anyway.
Gosh, you are particularly
sane today...
Pass the wine, please.
Thanks.
l was reading the letter.
Would you like some pasta?
Have some.
Let me give you some.
What? Don't you like the pasta?
Nobody says anything...
The pasta is all right.
l mean, it's not 'al dente'.
How long did it boil for?
Really?
Really Emma?
Are you worried about how long
the bloody pasta cooked for?
Your best friend has justdied
and that's what's bugging you?
l apologise to you for not being able
to cook the pasta 'al dente' because
l was feeling slightly upset.
For goodness sake, Emma!
Don't get mad.
lt's just not like the pasta
Marta used to cook.
She lived in ltaly.
But it's fine as it is.
What about the meatballs?
This is more like balls in oil.
Ooooh, l haven't seen
any of those for a while...
Actually, what we should do
is go travelling all together.
Travel the world,
the six of us,
the five of us.
ln the letter, Marta said that
she had heard me tell the nurse
l was her best friend,
to which the nurse replied
'you are the fifth person
to have told me that'.
Have you been puffing away?
Oh come on, let's.
A proper trip.
We spend our lives working.
l've spent my life locked up,
life goes so fast.
l've spent my life locked up,
working and taking care of my mother.
That's life, isn't it?
We are born,
we live and we die
and you can be absolutely
sure it all happens in this order.
Where have you been,
what the heck have you been doing?
l just went round and round.
l got lost.
And then l ran over a hare.
lt just ran in front of the car.
l killed a hare.
lt's just like a maze round here.
lt's really hard to get here.
l think Marta wasn't going to be very
successful with this holiday letting.
People can't get
to this back of beyond.
See? Did you hear
what she's just said?
Just before you got here,
l was saying something similar
and everybody jumped on me!
Dalila got really angry.
Well, l like it here. lt's beautiful.
Alcácer is beautiful.
lt is.
And in the letter, Marta says
she wanted us to have this place.
Well, as long as we are able to.
We've lived half of our lives.
And the last one to go will
be left alone.
How dreadful!
l can't begin to imagine that.
l'm scared of being left on my own.
What Marta wanted was that we all
stayed here together as we grew old.
Bah, as you see, it's not worth
making a lot of plans.
Growing old is quite a good plan.
There are people
who don't manage that.
We had so many plans!
Do you remember
that New Year's eve?
When Marta dragged us all
to Cape Verde?
Do you remember what for?
To tell us about holiday lettings...!
And our luggage was left behind,
do you remember?
- Oh, how can you?
- Excuse me?!
We had no luggage; we left the
airport with no luggage,
only the clothes we
were wearing. Remember?
l shared a room with you and then
you spotted a giant cockroach
and spent the night chasing it,
trying to spray it to death!
Totally Kafkaesque, really!
Naaa... that wasn't in Cape Verde,
it was in Morocco!
And we hired a
Mercedes S600 from Mr. Tereozil!
Mr. who?
Mr. Tereozil! Tereozil!
From the hotel!
He was very thin, very old
and always wore a little red jacket.
Yeaaa, and he had about
twenty grandchildren.
And you managed to totally
smash his Mercedes.
No, no, it wasn't me!
lt was Maria who wrecked it!
So it was!
lt was Maria.
We ended up spending
New Year's Eve
in some sort of Cape Verdian shack.
And Marta danced and danced...
She was so happy.
And we got groped
by men and women, it was crazy.
Monica thought we're
all going to get raped.
She pushed off.
lt was tricky.
We didn't even know where we were.
What a nightmare!
There's no doubt that being a woman...
women are always fucked.
Women are always more fucked.
- No need to exaggerate.
- Well, it's true.
Women take care of the home,
women take care of the children,
women go to work,
women get raped,
women suffer domestic abuse.
lt may not always be like
this, but it's pretty much so.
Women earn less.
That's not always the case.
Ah, you are the lucky one,
aren't you?
lt took a lot of effort to be lucky!
There are women who don't
even have the right to work,
so let's not even go there.
Don't have the right to chose
who they marry. Very young.
With any luck they might
get to chose who will rape them.
For fuck sake, Anna!
What nonsense.
Well, we've got to look
at the bright side.
Women are always fucked,
you're right.
Always fucked. Black. White.
lt's like a game of chequers:
they are there for the taking!
Worse than being a woman
it's being old.
The old are the ones who
always draw the short straw.
This is sounding like a political
rally... So much generalisation!
The truth is that the old are always
being promised longer lives,
better living conditions.
But our expectations of life
don't get better.
Life expectancy should really
mean life's expectations. But no...
lt's as if you are talking about a
football match with extra time.
What l would really like is a pill.
As soon as life started to hurt a lot,
l'd pop the pill and it was all over.
That'll be my next film.
The title: AlR.
Look, that's something
we've all got in common.
This dependency, air.
Absolutely.
No air, no extra time...
lt's still one of the few things
you don't pay for.
So far...
Yeah, old age is a real bummer.
No one has ever any time
for old people.
They've lived a whole life and they
should be able to die of old age.
But no.
They die of ending.
Maria, do you mind
smoking over there.
We haven't finished dinner yet.
Thanks.
When l killed the hare,
l cried so much.
l stopped the car
and just cried.
Are you serious?
Did you really kill a hare?
l did, l was just saying a while ago.
l haven't smoked that much.
How old was the hare?
You must be joking!
How should l know?
You didn't even let it
say goodbye to its family.
lt's not funny!
That's a morbid sense of humour,
don't you think?. You are getting bitter.
You're worrying about a dead hare
when we're supposed
to be mourning for Marta?
Are you mad?
Oh, calm down.
You sound like those middle aged spinsters
who transfer their affections to animals.
They are motherly to cats and dogs
and parakeets.
And they don't give a
shit about people.
Of course there are always those people
who can't cope with animals or people.
And that is really the worst,
isn't it?
Have you heard
Drummond's Bulgarian joke?
Ah, you're going to tell us a joke?
How fitting! Go on then.
Fine, l won't!
You will! Now you will. Spit it out!
'Once upon a time, there was a
naturalist czar who hunted men.
When he was told
that people also hunted
butterflies and swallows, he was very
shocked and declared it barbaric.'
ls that it?
ls that a joke?
And a poem.
Well,
l want Drummond to get lost!
l think it's absolutely unbelievable how
badly people go on treating animals.
lt doesn't make any sense,
it's unbelievable!
Can you stop this now?
l gave her the paintings.
Do you know the last thing
l said to Marta?
l had so much to say,
if only l knew it was the last time...
lt's horrible to be late.
l hugged her...
and whispered:
'lt's all going to be fine'.
But it wasn't.
You were the last person to talk to her:
what did you say?
l told her not to worry,
that l'd take care of my nephews,
because l thought that would be
a dying mother's biggest concern.
Oh, l think l just talked drivel then...
We managed to smoke a joint.
ln the hospital?!
Marta doesn't smoke joints!
There's a lot you don't know
about Marta.
l'm going out to breathe
some fresh air.
l'm going to call my brother
and find out how they are doing.
l feel l can't say anything...
You're always silent.
What's going on
between you and Monica?
Hello?
Hi sweetie, hi my darling,
how are you?
Have you had supper yet?
What have you eaten?
Yummie!
l wish l were there with you.
Yes, l'm fine, l'm fine, fine...
Oh, are you?
Well, be careful, will you?
Watch out for too much drinking
and who's driving.
We've got enough
on our plate as it is.
l didn't say you shouldn't go.
Go and have fun.
All right.
Can l speak to dad now?
Ok.
Love to you too.
Hello...
Yes, l'm fine and you?
lt's not being easy.
After the funeral,
l'll get out of here!
Yes... and what are you up to?
Oh, good.
No, we haven't watched any television,
don't even know if there's one here or not.
Yes, we are.
We're all here.
Anna flipped and left,
she's back now.
Yes, she's here too.
No.
That one hasn't peeped.
l don't think she'll talk to me though,
it's not the time, really.
Well, without Marta
this is going to be madness.
l don't know who made up that
'that which doesn't kill us
makes us stronger',
it's not true:
that which kills, just kills!
What?
All right.
We'll do that.
l'll need it.
Fine, fine.
l miss you and l love you.
A bit better everyday.
Yes. l'll call my brother.
Ok. Big kiss.
Bye darling, bye..
Hello...
darling boy... How are you?
And the children?
She talked to me about you.
Didn't you go see her?
l did.
l used to go later in the day.
She really loved you.
ln a special way.
l felt that, you know.
Are you all right, darling?
No... l'm cold.
Thank you.
l'll get some more wine.
Did you speak to your brother?
How are the kids?
They're not good.
At my age, l couldn't cope
with losing my mother,
now just imagine at their age!
Poor darlings.
And your son?
ls he with his father?
Yes.
Did you call him?
No.
Have you been speaking to him?
But what do you want to know?
Emma, l've already told you,
it doesn't matter a thing.
But if you want to say something,
just do it!
Just speak plainly.
Don't beat around the bush.
What you need to say,
say it to me if you don't mind.
But... did you go and tell Marta?
You told her?
She was dying and you told
her about your little nothings?
Well, if you don't have the guts,
just don't say anything then!
What did Marta say to you?
Just saw Marta's dog outside,
poor animal, it's like
he's looking for her. Really odd.
How awful...
My grandfather's dog,
his name was Kaiser,
when grandpa went away to hospital,
he must have thought
he had gone for good.
When he came back, he jumped up
at him with such joy that he died.
What?!
He died of a heart attack.
Poor Kaiser.
He was a gun dog.
ln the end, he died of love.
Did you grandfather shoot?
This reminds me of a play l saw ages
ago about this woman who had a lover,
and when the lover died,
she had her dog killed so that she
could cry freely in front of her husband.
Oh!
l don't want to hear this!
She killed the dog to be able to pine.
She loved the dog!
How dreadful!
Wasn't it a play by Jorge de Sena?
l saw it. lt's called 'Bereavement'.
l found a bottle of champagne
and put it in the freezer? Any takers?
Not me.
l'm sorry, but what are we celebrating?
- The dog's death!
- Which dog?
Jorge de Sena's dog. Oh, forget it...
Emma, it's time you do some therapy on
your friends because they're really in need!
Doctor, doctor...
Yes, tell me...
Doctor, l've never loved...
l beg your pardon,
but that's utterly impossible.
All right, l did.
l loved my mother.
l loved myself, l loved you lot.
But that's about it.
No, that's not about it!
lt's one hundred euros!
- You're joking!?
- l'm not!
How long haven't you had
a boyfriend?
Long time.
What about sex, how long?
Hummm, let me see...
Oohh, that seems long!
Can't remember.
Seriously? How boring!
- How do you manage?
- l've packed up.
You've packed up!?
We're so young!
- Are we?
- We are.
- Really?
- Yes!
Aren't we...
What about you Emma?
What's up? How's life?
l deal mostly with other people's lives.
Yea, we know that. But psychoanalysts
have a life of their own too, don't they?
They do.
l heard you've been
giving mega parties...
Really? How would you know?
Your neighbours
complained to the landlady.
What, they rang
and you said nothing to me?
l don't care about
your bloody neighbours;
l just want you to be happy!
But what did they say?
The building manager rang me to say
that your neighbours
complained of 'noises'.
There were a lot of noises.
Noises? Noises?
Noises?
Come, come...
Who's he?
What is it?
l only mentioned it because
we're among friends.
Oh, l think she's embarrassed
because one of the two is my husband
and since he, as far as l know,
is not one for screaming,
it must have been her!
Stop that!
Don't do this now, we'll do it later.
Everything must be tidied up,
we need to leave it all tidy.
l'm making a cake.
What are you making?
lf l find some flour...
We'll be hungry in no time
and we can have some tea and cake.
Tidying up is growing old...
tidying up is growing old...
What's happened?
What the heck is
happening with you, eh?
Stop that.
Will you stop it!
Sorry...
Sorry...
- l've got to say sorry too.
- No, l am sorry.
He came to the practice,
he wanted some therapy.
We started the sessions and...
l should have told you,
but l wasn't brave enough.
He told me.
Yes, but l should have been
the one to tell you.
l am your friend.
But l just couldn't, l...
Monica,
l've been living with this thing
since Marta's illness and
l haven't been able to tell
about this that's, stifling me.
And l need to tell,
but l can't.
Go on.
l can't, l can't.
Just say it.
Ok, l'll tell, but l'll tell all of you.
lf it was with you,
what would you do?
l'd, l'd just go mental...
l'm just saying it can happen
to anybody.
And if l got off with your husband?
l wouldn't do that... lmpossible.
The impossible happens.
When we love someone a lot,
there's loyalty.
Yes, but there's also loyalty
to the other person
whom we may also love very much.
What does one do with such news?
Oh, l hope they sort it out...
l just hope they remember
we were all happy once.
And that we're all going to die.
Oh, you are such fools!
And l think they are back together
anyway.
That l can't understand!
Why should you regret
past relationships.
You gave it a try,
you weren't happy.
lt's over.
Why try again?
To be unhappy all over again?
So, is everything all right?
No.
There's something l'd like to tell you.
Yes?
You know how much l like trees.
l love lime trees.
There's a big lime tree in Estrela Park.
When you come in, you take 32 steps
to reach the lime tree.
And very soon, l'll only be able
to manage 20 steps,
then 15,
10,
5...
Can you please just say
what you've got to say...
Speak so that we understand you!
l've got A-L-S.
A what?
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
That's why l borrowed
that money from you.
To go abroad for a second opinion.
Why didn't you say?
l wasn't sure.
You know to ask me for money and
you don't let me know what it's for?
That's not here or there...
lt certainly is! We are friends!
So, your friend is telling you she is
ill and you are talking money?
l'm not talking money,
l'm talking friendship.
Yes, but friendship isn't perfect
and unfortunately nor are friends!
But you act as if you were...
Oh, stop it, you two!
You take on things, you care...
Don't you ever falter?
She sleeps with your husband and it's
not important! Don't you ever flip?
l do. l do.
Disloyalty, that really gets me.
Now what are you going on about?
l saw you in the hospital.
l saw how upset she was...
l saw you kissing.
Fucking hell! l tell you l'm going
to die and nobody gives a toss!
We're all going to die!
Dalila,
lt's hard writing to you.
This way is more of a farewell.
l'm sorry but it's not fair that one
has to suffer in silence,
disguising half of one's feelings.
l'm much feebler than l always seem.
l was frightened by what
l felt and l ran away.
You were the greatest
surprise of my life,
but l wasn't brave enough.
How strange!
You were right after all.
l was to lose everything.
And then it would be too late.
That's how it was, that's how it is.
l spent my life
postponing my happiness,
but l can't leave again
without you knowing this:
you were my most intimate hope.
l always believed that one day
l'd be happy with you.
l wasted time,
not knowing it would run out.
Now it's too late
but l'm not afraid of anything anymore.
You can tell whoever you want,
if you like.
Write it on all the walls of the world.
lt will be difficult to leave without you,
to leave this secret in your hands.
You can keep it if you prefer,
you can bury it with me.
Mystery has always been your strength.
You've always balanced
on that fine hair called doubt.
lt's always been your knot
which l tightened the hardest.
l had wanted
to be tangled in your hair.
My poor brother...
How could you do that to him?
Did your brother know?
No.
Are there any further revelations tonight?
Any other secrets
we should know about?
l'm so sober!
l'll get some more wine.
But did you sleep with her?
l think l'm going to roll a joint...
this is too much for one night...
l knew.
What did Marta tell you?
She told me not to look for her
if she left.
That she would be happier than ever.
But she never mentioned you.
She thought that a secret was
too heavy a weight to be passed on,
and l on the contrary thought it was
the greatest proof of friendship
anybody could give.
But you know how Marta was.
And now, looking back,
l think l've always known it was you.
How are you feeling?
l don't know.
l miss her terribly.
l feel guilty, scared...
don't know whether
l'll be able to cope.
And l'm feeling terribly sick.
Disgust and mourning are the same.
Death makes one sick.
Marta was always anxious,
a bundle of nerves.
Whenever she got nervous,
instead of taking a tranquiliser,
she took a sickness pill.
l feel guilty.
As if it was this that killed her.
You don't die of love...
l don't know...
when she gave us up,
l nearly died.
She had left her husband by then.
She didn't have to leave anything else.
The kids were so young.
Children always belong
to the mothers, don't they?
She still went back to Vasco
for a while, didn't she?
l actually gave her a book of poems
by a friend of mine with an appropriate title:
''Luck favours the boys''.
Dalila, you are unreal!
She also laughed.
She knew me so well.
l should have stayed with her
in the hospital,
l shouldn't have left
even for a second,
l should have held her hand
till the end.
But l was scared.
Monica was always around,
like a police woman, taking care,
you know how she is,
l didn't dare...
l waited for her to be awake,
to be alone...
l shouldn't have left,
not even for a second.
l'm so stupid.
As if what l feel was forbidden...
l'd have liked a love like that.
You still can.
Too late.
We wanted so much to leave...
we had so many plans.
But, like Monica says, you mustn't
make plans, isn't that right?
Yes.
And you?
Are you in pain?
No, not yet.
But you will be... God willing!
Do you believe in God?
Don't know...
But l hope He believes in me.
lf he exists.
l think l deserve that.
After all, He was the only one
l never lied to...
Every night l ask God
that He may exist.
At the moment, it's the only
thing He could do for me...
For us.
lf He can make this miracle happen,
the one of existing, it's not bad at all.
They say God teaches you how to die.
God or the idea of God?
Either or...
Then Marta died by mistake.
l think the same as Anna:
what the fuck is this friendship?
All our tangled knots...
And now?
Now what?
Our knots.
What's going to happen?
lt'll be as always, all will be well,
all will be well.
Are you going to tell your brother?
Yes, he's my brother.
But, if Marta didn't... She didn't
want him to know, nor the kids.
Of course l won't tell the kids.
But l'll have to tell my brother.
lt's odd, all this...
l really wanted
Marta to be happy.
With whomever she wanted.
With my brother or with Dalila...
Why are people so complicated?
Do you think l'm being complicated?
l think you're being selfish.
Am l being selfish?
You say you wanted Marta to be happy,
but see how you reacted.
And it would have been the same
if she were alive.
lt's difficult to accept
other people's happiness
if it interferes a bit with ours,
isn't it?
Yes.
Monica...
Marta wasn't even
with your brother anymore.
Give me Dalila's glass.
Thank you.
She's really low, isn't she?
Thank you.
lt's such hard work to be alive.
This is what we need:
to relax... to laugh.
You are really happy on purpose,
aren't you?
lf you're saying it like an insult,
it's not gonna work...
l'm not.
You should have a little puff.
C'mon, a little puff for Marta's sake.
l like being alert.
So why aren't you?
Go on, have some...
lt's always the same with you lot!
l don't want any puffs!
Just the one!
lt's always the same with you lot...
Give it to me!
Thank you.
Are you smoking dope?
- No, she's the one smoking... Here.
- Are you her mother?
No, but she's sick,
it's bad for her, isn't?
lt's not bad at all, you see,
this is medicinal!
And it makes one oblivious,
which is very important.
Today, we need to forget.
Tomorrow we'll remember
everything again,
but today,
we're gonna forget about it all.
Don't you want to forget?
No.
l like to keep my memories.
l like remembering all
the good things. Forever.
Ahhhh, you're doing your
special little laughter.
l remember, when we were kids,
you were so naughty!
- You were so naughty!
- No.
You were!
These days all you do is take care.
You take care of everyone,
you never let anyone take care of you...
You know, when you're stoned
you become such a bore!
Bitch!
Do you want some?
ls everything all right?
Everything's all right.
So... was it because of Marta that
you were on the run?
l wasn't on the run,
l was only being evasive.
l miss you on my opening nights,
you always speak your mind.
Not always.
Marta enjoyed it so much...
lt was the last time she went out.
That's why l didn't come.
Next time, you're coming.
Promise?
No.
l'd rather be with you.
Lately l've only seen you in character.
You keep hiding.
l'm evasive. That's all.
Tell me, doctor!
Tell me about your problems.
Tell me honestly! Doctor!
Come on! Speak to me!
Anna, you should have done
some bereavement therapy.
You've become unbalanced
since your mother died!
Which therapy?
- Bereavement!
- Bereavement!
You're totally unbalanced!
- Me?
- Yes!
- Me, unbalanced?
- Completely unbalanced!
- Look at me.
- Oh Anna, be careful.
l'm not going to get you
out of the pool!
Super-balanced!
Monica, we won't
get you out of the pool, forget it!
Careful!
Oh, Anna, you're too far gone!
You're going to fall in, you'll get hurt!
So, your illness is the same
Zeca Afonso's had, isn't it?
lt is...
l really like Zeca Afonso, love him!
l like that song 'The Half-beach lndians'.
Yes, Zeca Afonso died aged 57.
But l can't remember the lyrics now.
But l can remember the one
of the vampires, it goes like this:
'They grab it all, they grab it all, they
grab it all and leave absolutely nothing.'
'They grab it all, they grab it all, they
grab it all and leave absolutely nothing.'
They smoke it all, they smoke it all,
they smoke it all, and leave fuck all too!
When you feel like it,
you look for information on the illness
and then we can talk.
Wait Emma!
Let's look it up now.
Let's look it up now,
there has to be something online.
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Als.
A-L-S, Maria, A-L-S!
Sometimes,
l feel like doing this to you.
Are you going to tell your brother?
Don't know...
But l ought to.
You always do what you ought to,
don't you?
You may not know your brother.
What?
What do you mean?
Why are you talking
about my brother now?
Has he ever told you why they split up?
Perhaps your brother also has secrets.
We all do, don't we?
Yes, but l don't want to hear,
don't want to know.
l don't want to know
anything else, especially today.
l can't take any more.
l think we'd better accept
we can't all look well in a photograph,
there's always one side
of our profile that looks worse...
Which one is yours?
The one you can't see.
The one no one can.
Because of this Emma thing,
Mário told me all about it and now
we're all 'lovey dovey' again.
Your best friend slept with your
husband and that got you going!
No!
lt's not that at all!
He told me about it
and that trust got us closer.
Sex?
- Yes, as a matter of fact!
- Was it good?
Better than ever.
lt's always been good, by the way,
but that time it
was exceedingly good.
Thank Emma then!
Do you think l ought to?
- Yes.
- Do you?
Watch me.
Emma,
Emma...
Ah, now we're talking..
Emma!
- We are talking...
- l want to thank you.
Sorry, what do you mean?
l must be really high, you want what?
l want to thank you.
Thank you.
What are you thanking me for?
l'm totally knocked out...
For being you,
for having done all you did
and probably because
l've smoked a joint.
l should think so too!
lt's really hitting me now,
l can hear bells...
Gosh, l've got a stale mouth,
give it to me.
l think we should toast to Emma.
Wait.
Glasses?
Have we got any?
Have this one.
- To Emma!
- To Emma's health!
Maria, don't be daft...
l'm totally unhealthy!
Shut up.
We're here to take care of you,
now and when you're a little old lady.
Yes, we'll take it in turns.
Ah, that's an excellent idea!
You'll queue up
to push my wheelchair!
We'll live here forever,
till we're really old...
How frightening!
Speak for yourself,
l don't think l'll make it.
Of course you will!
You'll bury us all!
Listen, l'm the first to be buried,
do you know why?
Because l'm very ill!
l never loved!
l never loved,
l never loved anybody!
lt sounds like the title
of a third rate novel.
That'd be fun...
lf each one of us were a book title...
'Me - The Stranger Within.'
Mine would be
'The man of my life is a woman.'
Absolutely right!
She's won, she's won!
l'd be 'l'm all ears.'
l actually want to write a book
based on my patients' reports,
l mean, no real names of course...
Based on an absolutely fundamental
fact which is that it is our conscience,
the movement of
our actions that makes
the world change,
that makes things happen around us.
There's this idea
l've been defending:
people who come into my practice
and who want to change the world.
People want to change the world
with their conscience...
You're so worried about death
that you forget to live.
What?
That's what Marta said of you.
Anna, come on!
Where's Dalila?
- How stupid what we've done.
- How stupid.
Where's she gone?
Last thing l said to her was...
'see you tomorrow.'
You say to me till tomorrow
For you're sure to have to go...
But tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know...
l smoke yet another fag
l think of a thousand things
For tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know.
You say to me till tomorrow
For you're sure to have to go...
But tomorrow is far too far
As you very well know...