Joe Bell (2020) - full transcript

Hey, Lola.

Checking in from Idaho.

Other than my right foot being
one gigantic blister, I'm okay.

I'll just have to fight
through it.

Fight it out, will it out.

I'll call you again
from Twin Falls, okay?

I miss you.
Hug Joseph for me.

What the fuck?

Fucking-- You motherfucker!

Hey, you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.



See, that's why you need
to do what Mom tells you to do.

Walk against the traffic.
- What?

You're 15, all right?
I'm 45.

You think I don't know
what I'm doing out here?

No I don't.
That's why I'm with you.

We... we have with us
tonight Joe Bell,

all the way
from La Grande, Oregon.

Joe's here to talk to us tonight
about tolerance.

Let's, uh,
give him a round of applause.

Uh...

Good afternoon.
Thanks for having me here.

Uh...

I jotted down
a couple of things

I want to chat
with you guys about, um...



You know, a lot of people
don't think it's a big deal

to make fun of other people...

um, who are different
from you.

You know, bullying
and intolerance

can have a deadly effect.

And I'm here because
I'm walking across America

on behalf of my son, Jadin,

to speak out against bullying.

All right?
Now it's important--

Is it okay
if I take this?

I don't want to break it.

You know, it's important
for people to understand,

or understand how hurtful it
is to harass and torment people

who aren't the same as you.

And that understanding begins
at home

with the parents
and families.

All right?

Parents out there, just let
your kids be who they are,

and it'll all be fine.

You tell them you love them
no matter what, all right?

Because that's what they need
to know.

All right?

Anybody have any questions
for me?

No?

Okay, well please
follow me on Facebook

and share my message
with your friends.

Thank you, guys.

Thank you.

Shit. Hey!

Yeah? Why won't this thing work?

Come on.

You need any help?

I'm done now.

I'm useless.
- Get in, get in, get in.

I'm laying here with you?

Yeah. You're stuck with me.

Get your feet off my pillow!

#Oh, shit! Whoa!

What was that last night, huh?

'Understanding
begins at home'?

Whose home? Not ours.

That's the way it was.

No, not for me it wasn't.

'Just be who you are
and it'll all be fine.'

How can you say that
when you know it's a lie?

Look at that resolution
on this bad boy.

I see it.
- Huh?

Big TV.
- Oh, yeah.

Hey, don't worry,

the washing machine's
coming next.

Yeah, I'm not gonna
hold my breath on that!

Hey, I'm getting one of these.
- Don't hook up the VHS.

We ain't gonna use
that shit.

Well, there's plenty of holes
back there.

Hey.
#What?

Get out of the way, man.

All right, what can I get
anybody?

Hey, come on. Hey.
- What?

Sit with me for a few minutes
and enjoy this.

No, game time's in an hour.
The food can wait, come on.

Hey, Dad, can I talk to you
for a minute?

What?
#He needs to talk to you.

Honey, I'm talking to you.
- Can I please talk to you just--

Now?
- Yes, now.

You've got to be shitting me.
All right, then, talk to me.

Can we please talk outside
or out back?

You gotta be shitting me.
Hey, don't touch the remote.

All right.

Well?

Well?
- Can you just give me a second.

That goddamn TV ain't gonna
watch itself.

Well, Mom already knows.

Knows what? What?

Knows that I'm getting picked
on by these guys at school.

Why is that?

I don't know,
because I'm not like them?

It's gotta be more than that.
That doesn't make sense.

Why aren't you like them?
- Because I'm just--

I'm different. I'm just...
- Because why?

Because I'm not like them.
- That's not an answer, Jadin.

Doesn't make any sense.
- Because I'm gay.

You remember when I took
you boys to the Y?

Hmm?
- I put boxing gloves on you both

and made you duke it out.

You need to know how to clean
anybody's clock.

Anybody that messes with you.
Didn't I teach you anything?

I don't want to spend
my high school

duking it out with guys
who just don't agree with me.

I can fight someone
one on one,

but I can't fight
an entire school.

Well, if I got to go down there
and kick the fuck

out of them little
sons of bitches, I will!

You know what? We're gonna let
nature take its course.

All right?

This isn't anybody else's
business anyway, is it?

Don't talk about it
with the other kids.

Or with other people.
You mind your own damn business.

It'll all be fine.
It'll work itself out.

Joe.

#What?
- It's not gonna work itself out.

#What am I supposed to do?
- Not talking about it

is not gonna help.
#It's gonna be fine.

#None of this is his fault.
#I didn't say that it was.

The only thing he needs to know
is that his family loves him.

This family loves you.
- You're stating the obvious here.

It's not that obvious.
You can say it too, you know.

He knows I love him.

I love you. You...

You know that.

Are we done here now?

Here you go.

You fucking with my settings?

I was just trying to see
if I could figure it out.

Lola!

I'm getting a beer.

Hey, just don't get all
bent out of shape about it, Joe.

He's just a kid.

What's that supposed to mean?

I mean, so he's playing
a little grab-ass,

stirring up some trouble.
It's not a big deal.

What are you trying to say,
this is a phase?

The point is, I know
what he's in for now, all right?

I just don't want him out there
damn near broadcasting it.

You know where we live.
#I know.

I'm just saying, kids are
designed to drive you nuts.

He might just grow out of it.

Go, Cougars!

Let's go, Cougars!

Let's go, Cougars!

What in the hell?
Hey, Lola, come here.

#What?
- Come here!

I'm coming. What is it?

You tell me.
What is this?

What? He's practicing
his cheers.

He's just going to do his cheers
out there in the front yard?

We told him he could
join the squad--

But in the front yard?

Let him be, Joe.
It's his first game this week.

Why not?
- Hell no, hell no. No, no, no.

Joe-- Joe.

Mm-hmm.
#Joe.

#Front yard.
- Oh, for God's sakes.

Let's go, Cougars, let's go!Hey, son?

Yeah?
- Could you--

Would you mind practicing
in the backyard?

It's hard for me
to hear the TV.

What?

You're out in front here
yelling.

And I can't hear
the television.

Can you not just turn it up?
- Don't tell me what to do.

Your mother and I been
supporting this cheerleading,

but you need to practice
in the backyard.

What's his problem?

Why can't we just
practice in the front?

Get your ass
in the backyard now.

Can't you ever
just shut the fuck up

and do what you're told?

I thought my home life
was unstable.

Go ahead. Follow Marcie.

You better tell Marcie to stop
running her mouth,

or I'm gonna put a foot
in her ass.

Oh, okay.

Come here. Come sit with me.

I'm doing my crossword.

I'm going to try to be better.

I love you.

I love you too.

I know.

I got to give you credit, Dad.
At least you're persistent.

Well, I'm walking all this way

because that's where you told us
you wanted to live, remember?

Oh, yeah. New York City.

Yeah, your big dream.

Mm-hmm. I mean,
obviously.

Why obviously?

Why not? Think about it,
if you were me,

would you rather live
in La Grande or New York City?

Well, I bet you'll feel more
comfortable in New York.

Yeah. I'm sure you're right.
That's the point.

All right, well,
just for the record,

I happen to love
La Grande.

So, you know,
why don't you just--

Okay, no, uh-uh.
There's no comparison.

There's no comparison.
- Well, I...

Okay, what does La Grande have?

Nothing. Exactly.
What does New York have?

It has every kind
of food,

every kind of people,
every kind of pizza.

We got pizza in La Grande.

It's got skyscrapers
and Broadway and...
- Stefani.

I mean, hello?
Stefani.

Who's Stefani?

Stefani Joanne Angelina
Germanotta.

What? Who is that?

Gaga, Dad.
- Oh.

Lady Gaga.

Yeah, yeah.
- And, you know, of course--

Of course she's proud
of how she grew up.

I mean, she grew up
in New York.

Only a New Yorker
could write that song.

Well, don't start.

Oh, come on.
You know you love it.

Oh, Lord, please...

♪ My mama told me
When I was young ♪

♪ We're all born
Superstars ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da

♪ She rolled my hair
And put my lipstick on ♪

♪ In the glass of her boudoir

♪ She said there's nothing wrong
With loving who you are ♪

♪ She said, 'cause he made you
Perfect, babe ♪

♪ So keep your head up, girl
And you'll go far ♪

♪ Listen to me when I say

♪ You're beautiful in your way ♪

♪ 'Cause God makes
No mistakes ♪

♪ I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way ♪

What?

Well, don't look
so surprised.

Excuse me, I didn't know
you knew the words.

Well, you blast that shit
so loud,

you think I didn't pick up
a thing or two?

Wow. Okay.
- I'm one of them--

What do you call it?
'I'm a monster.'

Okay.'I'm a monster.'

All right a little--Yeah. Yeah.

Excuse me,
it's a little monster,

to be correct. Little monster.

Yeah, you know what? All right,
even I'll admit it, okay?

It's a little catchy.
- Yes, it is.

Don't hide yourself in regret.

Just love yourself
and you're set.

♪ I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way ♪

All right.
- We're not doing that again.

All right, now,
sing me something I like.

Give me a little
Willie Nelson.

Oh, man. Smells good.

Hey.

Well, if it ain't Grizzly Adams

washed up on my doorstep.

Joe, is it?
#Joe it is.

Heard all about you, Joe.
You're all over TV.

You're in luck.
We got the finest food in Utah.

Good, because I'm starving.
- What'll it be?

Uh, I'll have your special
and a coffee.

Be right back.

...same sex marriage...

Oh, God.

Fucking queens
are everywhere now.

Hey, sweetheart, can you turn
that fairy shit off, please?

There's ignorant folks
everywhere.

Don't you pay them no mind.

Yeah.

Hey, my name's Joe Bell.

Overheard you
talking over here.

I'm on a walk for change
for my son Jadin.

And, uh...

I'd like you to check out

our message of inclusion.

Appreciate it if you get
a chance, thanks.

I'll pass on the meal.

I don't know what the fuck
that's all about.

Dad.
- Don't start your shit, Jadin.

Dad!What?

Giving them a card and running
away isn't gonna change shit.

I'm sorry,
but it's not.

I don't know if you
realize this or not,

but this is America, okay?

And they're Americans.

They are entitled
to their own opinion.

Okay, I'm starving
my ass off, okay?

I just wanted
to finish my meal

and get back on the road
and on my walk.

Which I am doing for you,
remember?

I mean, what else the hell--

What else in the hell do you
expect from me, for chrissakes?

The people that come
to your talks aren't the issue.

They are.

Really?

Guys like that and their kids.
That's the issue.

I hate to break it to you,

but we wouldn't be hauling
our asses cross-country on foot

if you'd actually done what I
told you to in the first place.

You told me to fight,
which you didn't do.

And?
- You're a hypocrite.

I'm the hypocrite?
- Don't want to be a hypocrite,

then go back in there
and kick their asses.

Oh, I'm sorry, give them
another card and say bye.

Yes, I agree.

Very, very.

Oh, who are we
talking about?

They're so loud.

Oh, my gosh,
he's so hot.

Guys, guys, guys.

Yeah.

You guys want to come over?

#Jerk!

First down, faggot!

You guys are such assholes.

Takes one to know one.

Chug, chug!

Get a drink.

I do.
- Really?

She has had so many drinks.

Wanna smoke?

#Go, go.
- Right now?

Yes, go. Hurry.
- Okay.

I didn't know
you smoked.

Yeah, we're not
supposed to.

Don't tell coach, okay?

Don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.

Is it?

Yeah.

You jerk, where are you
taking me?

You kissed a football player?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, no, technically
he's a running back.

What's that?

I don't know, actually.

This is, like, the stuff
dreams are made of.

I know.

How was the kiss?

Can we not talk
about this right now?

You wanna go to my room
and talk about this?

Yeah, I want to talk about this.
I want to talk about this.

Warmer?
- Okay, come on.

Second and ten
on the 45-yard line.

Here we go, Cougars.
Here we go.

Let's go, Cougars!

Let's go...

Do a good job, Chance. Let's go.

Come on, Chance! Go, number 5!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Yeah! Whoo!

Hey, Bell,
did you forget your skirt?

Whoo!

Hey, ass bandit!

Is that a boy down there?

What the hell
is the school thinking?

Hike!

Touchdown, Cougars!

A 30-yard pass to number 40...

Let's go, Cougars!

Let's go, Cougars!

Let's go, Cougars!Whoo!

I saw what they said about you.

Doesn't it bother you
what people say?

Words can't hurt me.

I'm tougher than I look,
okay?

Look at these mountains.

They're so steep.

Yeah.

If we had more time,
we'd hike them.

You can see why
I always wanted you

to go hunting and fishing
with me.

Take you up there and get you
away from everything down below.

Yeah, real macho stuff.

I was just trying to be
a decent parent.

I mean, I thought
being out in the wild

would help you be a man.

What does that mean to you,
'be a man'? I'm just curious.

I did the same thing for Joseph
for the same reason,

and he's not gay.

It didn't matter to you
what I was okay with,

especially after you started
your cheerleading thing.

I mean, Dad, some men
like cheerleading

and some men like hiking.

And I think if we're...

I don't know,
if we're being honest,

you were never really okay
with me cheerleading, were you?

No, if we're being honest,

if you thought
you could handle it,

I knew different.

I mean, you saw me cheer,
like, once?

The one time you did, you left.
- What?

People were calling me names
and throwing stuff at me,

and you got up and left.
- I was afraid for you.

We were all afraid for you.

Well, I worked
two shifts today.

And then I came home
to do some laundry,

and the laundry machine
finally just fucking died.

But with a whole load
of clothes in,

it wouldn't drain.

I mean, it was...
it was such a mess.

Well, I'm sorry about all that,

but there's not much
I can do from out here.

There's really not much
you could do

if you were standing
right in front of me.

I'm right about that.

You know you should just
call us

at the same time every week,
you know?

Just set it so we know
that we're gonna hear from you.

Look, Lola...

I'm afraid for Joseph
with you drinking again.

I mean, I want to trust things
are okay while I'm gone,

but you're damn near
slurring every other word.

Joseph doesn't need to see that.
#Wait, what? Wait.

What is-- What is--
What is so difficult

about what I just asked?

Well, I know
that you drink a lot,

and so does Marcie
and Joseph.

Can't you just stop
with one damn drink?

What, you gotta have
five or ten of them?

Joe, you're not here.

You have no idea
what's going on.

No idea.

So, what are you gonna do?
You gonna go to bed?

Oh, no, I dipped into
our retirement savings

so I could splurge
on a presidential suite

at the Bear River Inn.

Right.

Well, love you.

I love you.

Hey. Hey.

What?
- Come here.

What?
- It's gold!

Gold, baby!

#What?
#Whoo!

Green gold, baby.
Look at these bad boys.

Look at the size of them. Huh?

Is that asparagus?
- Oh, man.

I'm gonna grill them up on
the fire, you are gonna love it.

Ain't nothing better
than wild asparagus.

Oh, that smells so good.
#Oh, yeah.

That's the real deal
right there, baby.

#Yeah, man.
#This is green gold. Whoo!

Nothing better.

Right out of the ground.
Taste that.

That's so good.

Give me more of that.
You're hogging it.

I haven't had a bite yet.

What the heck?

Here, get one.
- Just make sure it's cooked.

I don't want you eating
nothing raw.

You know, this is the one thing
you can cook.

Did you ever wish
that I wrestled?

No. You didn't want to wrestle,
you didn't have to wrestle.

Joseph's gotten really good.

You know why's good at it?
- Why?

Because he works hard at it.

You put the time in...

you get good at whatever
you work hard at.

That's all about sacrifice.

Trying to get
this one big one here.

Whoo!

Yeah, buddy!

Let's go, Cougars,
let's go!

Let's go, Cougars, let's go!
Come on!

Come on. Come out here.
It feels great.

Let's go, Cougars, let's go!
Argh.

I will keep you up all night.

Let's go, Cougars!
Let's go!

Let's go, grandpa.
Come on.

Let's go, Cougars! Let's go!!
Argh!

All right, show me again.
- All right, ready?

Yeah.
- Watch.

Let's go, Cougars, let's go!

Argh!Argh!

Whoo!

How many yards did you
rush for in last night's game?

Uh...

158.

Is that a lot, or...?

If you don't know,
why are you asking?

I want to know
about your game.

Um... yeah.

Yeah, I mean,
158's pretty good.

Um, it's below my average,
though, but...

you know, I don't need
to be a star or anything.

I just want to get
into a small program

and play football
somewhere.

Like where?

Um...

well, I'm not really,
you know,

D-1 material.

But I don't know.

Like Portland State,
maybe?

Maybe Eastern Washington.

That's a long way away
from where I'll be.

Hmm. And where's that?

New York.

You know there's a lot
of colleges in New York.

And if you wanted to...

I don't know, go east...

we could go together.

Or something.

I don't know, Jadin.
That's aiming pretty high.

He, uh...

he got freaked out.

He was afraid
that he'd get kicked out

if his moron parents knew.

Romantic relationships
aren't everything, Jadin.

They're not the solution
to life.

It was the solution to my life.

My life, Dad.
Not yours. Mine.

Nervous, huh?

No. Why would I be nervous?

What if somebody
hits on you?

Nobody's gonna
hit on me.

It's a gay bar, Dad.

Somebody's gonna hit on you.
- How would you know?

Ever been to a gay bar?
- No, but--

Have you ever been to a bar?
#No.

Okay, then.

Also, it's drag night,

so you better dance.

I don't dance.

I cannot wait to see my dad,
the magnificent Joe Bell,

working it with some
fierce lady queens.

That's not gonna happen.
You're staying here.

Okay, well, at least say hi
to Cher for me.

Cher?
- Mm-hmm. There's always a Cher.

It's a given.
- How would you know?

Because. It's a given.

And if she flirts with you,
try not to be mean.

Why would I be mean?

I mean, who the hell
do you think I am?

Would you flirt back?

No, I would not, Jadin.
#Why not?

Because.
- Because why?

Because Cher's not my type.

Now, if Dolly's there...
#No.

...I'm gonna motorboat
them big-ass titties.

You are disgusting.

Dad...
- What?

Relax. You got this.

You know that's my job.

To reassure you.

Yeah, I wish I could
go with you.

Yeah, well, so do I.

Well, wish me luck.

Good luck.
- Give me a hug.

All right.

How do I look?

Pants tight enough
but not too tight?

Oh, God, Dad!I'm gonna keep the flaps down.

Stop buying the time.
Get out of here.

Go. Good luck.
- Bye.

Bye.

Our folks are deeply religious.

I was 15, and I was a deacon
at our church.

I was sitting at church
with my family,

and the sermon that day
was on sins against God.

And when he said,
'gays are going to hell,'

I couldn't take it anymore.

I got up and I-I-I
went to leave,

and my mom stopped me and
she said, 'Where are you going?'

And I turned and I said
'To hell, apparently.'

It's seems funny now, but--It was funny.

At the time it was like
an avalanche had hit.

My entire life was hell.

It's hard to stand strong

in places where there are more
churches than there are gays.

Churches, man.
Don't even get me started.

Jadin went to church with
a friend of his one Sunday.

I mean, he was hoping
he'd make some friends

and find a place where people
would be kind.

During the service, the pastor
singled him out and said,

'If you are gay, you must come
up here to the altar

and repent your sins,
or leave.'

Jaden told us it made him feel
horrible, like he didn't belong.

You got them Catholic Church
taking child molesting priests,

they move them from one
church to another

so they can molest other boys,
and they won't accept my son

because he's openly gay?
I mean, the idea is

you're supposed to worship
the guy who died to build it,

not the frigging assholes
in there

that are judging everybody
doing God knows what

behind closed doors.
#It's true.

People think it's easier
these days.

But everyone in this bar knows
that's not necessarily true.

That's why they come here.

This place is like
a church too.

I think it's amazing.

Hi, darlings.

It's almost
showtime again.

Oh, my God, who is this?

Don't make me
introduce myself.

This is Joe Bell.

Where have you been
all my life?

He's just visiting.
- Oh, perfect.

Well, if you need
a place to crash,

there's room on my couch.

Or my bed.

Oh, I'm, uh...

I'm-- I'm-- Well...

I'm not-- I mean,
I am a straight guy.

I didn't know if you were
serious or not.

Joe's walking across the country
to raise awareness

about bullying,
because his son was bullied.

Well, why didn't you
bring him?

Especially if he's as cute
as you are.

Is he as cute as you, Daddy?

Um... my son is dead.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God,
I had no idea.

I'm-- I'm so sorry.
#It's all good. Really.

Let me take my foot
out of my mouth.

I'm so sorry, I--No, no, no, I...

I had no idea.
- It's all good.

No, it's-- It's not.

I really didn't know, and now
I've got to perform again.

Hey, hey. I'm okay.
- I'm so sorry.

Honey, I'm gonna grab you
another beer.

♪ Think of your fellow man
Lend him a helping hand ♪

♪ Put a little love
In your heart ♪

♪ You see, it's getting late ♪

♪ Oh, please don't hesitate ♪

♪ Put a little love
In your heart ♪

♪ And the world

Hey, honey.

You in Steamboat Springs?

Oh, my GPS must be
working again.

It's been a hell of a walk
through Colorado.

You gotta call us, you know,

when you're going through
all those storms.

It's crazy.
- What, are you worried?

Well, don't be.
That storm went way south of me.

I only caught
the tail end of it.

Yeah, well,
still just call us.

Okay. Hey, hold on a second.

#Hey, Dad.
- Hey, buddy.

See you got
12,000 followers.

How's the man of the house?

Good. You know we're good.

Wrestling practice
is really good.

Coach filmed a few of them.
- Well, I can't wait to see them.

Yeah, hey, Dad,

what would you think about me
and Mom coming to visit you?

Out on the road.
I mean, not on the road,

but maybe in a motel
or a hotel, even?

Well, I can't think of anything
I'd like better.

Your mom okay with it?

Mom? Yeah.
She's okay with it.

All right.

Let me talk to your mom.

Oh, shit.

Okay, give me the phone back.

You coming to see me?

All right, yeah,
we'll talk about it.

All right. Hurry.

All right. Love you, bye.

Oh, shit.

Well, it's starting to snow.

Maybe we could, uh,

get out and do some
snowboarding later.

There he is.

Hey, hey!JOSEPH: #Hey, Dad.

My God, son,
it's only been a few months.

You're as tall as me
Missed you, buddy.

I missed you too, Dad.
- Hey.

Hi. Saw you spit
that dip out.

Oh, no,
that's just for walking.

Mm-hmm.
- You smell so good.

How are you doing?
#So I, uh...

I brought my wrestling tapes.
- Good. We'll watch them tonight.

I've booked us a surprise
adventure for the afternoon.

We have 15 minutes.
#Oh, all right.

Is it snowboarding?
#No, no, no.

You're gonna love it, I promise.
All right?

All right, I got this.
- How was the drive?

#Not bad.
- Oh, good.

Come on.

♪ Waiting on the sunshine

♪ To come around again

♪ It's been a long time ♪

♪ Since we let it in

♪ Take me down

♪ To the fault line

♪ Take me down

♪ Where the river starts

♪ Take me into your heart

I gotta take you on a mechanical
bull so you can practice.

I'm telling you,
I think you can beat the record.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, aren't...?

aren't you that fella
that's walking across America?

I am.

Sir, it is a pleasure
to meet you.

Dad's a celebrity.
#This is my wife.

So nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm...
- I'm his wife.

And Jadin's mom.
#Nice to meet you.

And this is our son, Joseph.
- Hi, I'm Joseph.

#Hi, Joseph.
#I think it's incredible

what you're doing for your son.
#Yes.

Takes real courage to stick up
for what you believe in.

Well, it's got to be done.
This can't go on.

#Yes.
#Would you mind

if we got our picture with you?

Sure. Absolutely.
#Yes. Thank you.

Honey, take the picture.

Oh. Okay.

#Thank you.
#Thank you.

#That's real good work.
#I'm getting faster.

You see how much leverage
you got on him?

He ain't going nowhere.

That's good.

That's real good.

You seen this?
- Yeah.

I was there when it happened.

He's got some pretty decent
takedowns,

but these transitions
are a lot more fluid.

What's coach saying?

Coach is saying
I'm doing good.

You know, he's...
- Well, I'm seeing right here.

We've been working out,
but he says I might want

to look into losing
a few pounds.

What? This boy's just growing.
No, no, no, no, no.

You go up a couple pounds.
Go up another weight class.

#Brush your teeth.
- Tell the coach what I said.

All right.
- Make sure you tell coach.

We got an early morning
tomorrow, okay?

Okay.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

'Hey, hey, hey.'

Get him to bed
so I can get you to bed.

I'm trying.
You wanna help me?

I'm just...

I can't believe how much
he's improved.

I know. Isn't it great?

I found this.

I thought you might like
to see it.

What's that?

Uh, well...

Let me see.

Where'd this come from?

It was on his grave,
in some flowers.

One of them little shits
that bullied my boy

into the ground had the nerve
to stand over his grave?

Well, Joe--Why?

And now he wants
to apologize?

Who's this for?

It's not for Jadin,
because he's dead and buried.

And not for me.

What am I supposed to do
with this, Lola?

I don't know I thought
you'd like to see it, Joe.

I shouldn't have brought it.
- No, don't keep secrets from me.

Don't even threaten that.
- I'm not keeping secrets.

I'm out here on my own,
no money, alone, all right?

No, the truth is all I have.
Shit!

Well...
- That little son of a bitch.

...you're... you're on a walk
for forgiveness, right?

For...

There's no apologies
with me, okay?

There is no forgiveness here.
They buried that with my boy.

Do you understand that, Lola?

I should not have
brought that letter.

Lola... what?

It's all yours, Dad.
#Those sons of bitches.

Fucking kidding me.
#Don't worry about it.

Don't think about it then, Joe.

Son of a bitch, Joseph,
get your ass in here now!

Did you hear what the fuck
I said? Now!

You see what you've done? Look!

How many times
have I told you, huh?

How many times to put the seat
up when you take a piss?

#Joe!A hundred? A thousand?

Nobody's fucking talking to you.
Shut the fuck up.

What do you think,
I'm your maid?

Hey! Just stop!

Jesus Christ.

Hey.

What I saw in those practice
films was damn good, son.

You keep it up, you'll be state
champ by the time I get back.

I love you.

Did you hear me?

Yeah. Take care, Dad.

And what else?

I love you too.

Hey.
- Hey.

So I'll see you in Illinois,
or maybe even before.

Yeah. We'll see.

Well, I thought that was
the plan, Lola.

We talked about this.
Lola, don't--

Joe, don't you. Don't.

What are you doing
out here?

Because we've supported you
every step of the way,

because we know
what's right for you.

But you're supposed to be
on some forgiveness walk?

And you act the way
you acted last night.

Our son is gone, Joe.
Gone.

You're gonna lose
another one,

because we're not gonna
sit around waiting

for another one
of your outbursts.

Lola--It's not gonna happen.

Lola, I--No, no, no, no, no.

Keep walking. Keep walking.
Don't come home.

Okay? Don't come home till you
figure out whatever it is

that you need
to figure out.

But I hope that's not
you being some

Facebook celebrity and getting
your pictures taken with people.

Are you walking
for Jadin, Joe?

Because if you're walking
for Jadin,

then you let Jadin let you know
when it's time to come home.

I love you, Lola.

You guys drive safe, okay?
I love you.

Be safe.

Be careful, all right?

♪ Goodbye, darkness

♪ Oh, to the light

♪ Every morning

♪ Is an end to a night

♪ Every season
Is about to bring a change ♪

♪ There's a new chance given
Every day ♪

♪ And it brings it back to

♪ Yeah, it brings it
Back to me ♪

Hey.

Goddamn it!

Who in the fuck--

Fucking shit!

♪ Goodbye, evening

♪ Hello to the night

♪ I'm not seeing the wrong
From the right ♪

♪ Walking blindly
On a path without an end ♪

♪ In the morning
Come to me yet again ♪

♪ Then bring it all
Back to me ♪

♪ Yeah, it brings it
All back to me ♪

Hello?
#Hey.

Hey.

So I found something,

and I want you
to hear it, okay?

I found it in his backpack,

and I wanted to--Well, what is it?

Can you read it to me?

Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh...

it's an essay
that he wrote.

'It's a horrible thing
to be surrounded

'by people who hate you

'when they don't even know you,

'for a reason you can't change.

'One they can't comprehend
or understand.

'This is the life I live.

'Some nights,
I look for the pieces

'I've dropped along the way.

'On these nights,
I cry myself to sleep

'and hope tomorrow
is a better day.

'But it never is.

'Every year, I look forward
to school starting again,

'but it never turns out
the way I expect it to.

'I pretend not to notice
the looks I'm given.

'Avoiding eye contact
with every guy bigger than me.

'I'm surrounded by people
who hate me.

'Who want me dead.

'I can't keep talking myself
out of it.

'I don't know what I'm gonna do
if I don't.

'It's only getting worse.
I just want it to be over.

It will be soon enough.'

Don't fucking look at us, fag.

What are you doing in here?
Girl's bathroom's over there.

Come hang out with us.

What the fuck did we say
about looking at us?

All he wants to do
is watch us change.

He's shaking,
he wants it so bad.

#Look at him shake.
- Stop. Stop. Stop.

It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.

Let me ask you something.

You like dick?

Huh? Answer me.

#I think he does.
- You like fucking dicks.

I'll give you dick.

Stop, stop.

It's okay, it's okay.

Fuck it.
You like fucking dick?

Fucking dick?
You like fucking dick!

You like that?
You like that? Huh?

Can we even give you
the names of the boys?

No, no, no, no. No names.

Have you considered
changing schools?

Yeah. We applied
to another high school.

We were out of their district,
so they rejected him.

What about therapy?

We did, um, a few sessions
of, uh, family therapy.

And I don't need therapy.
They do.

Jadin, I hear
what you're saying.

You don't think
the situation

might settle itself down
on its own?

No, I don't.

Okay.

Mr. and Mrs. Bell,

I'm not saying it was
acceptable behavior

on the part of the other
students, because it wasn't,

but we live in
a very small town,

and the high school
student body

is a reflection
of our community.

If you file a formal complaint
against these boys,

it may very well cause you more
trouble in the long run

than it's worth.

You don't know
what it's like...

to feel like...

you have to muster up
the courage to ask for help,

and then only to find out
that the person who can

just couldn't be bothered.

Son, I am trying
to help you.

I'm trying to stop you
from making a mistake.

#Hey, it's Marcie.

Hi, Marcie, it's me.

Can you please call me
when you get the chance.

I just need to talk to you.
Please call me when you can.

Remember when we used to take...

Oh, just a second.

Sorry.

Jadin?

Hi, it's me.
Can you talk for a second?

Jadin? Hi, it's Dolores.

Sorry. We're in the car.

Hi, Mrs. Roberts.
I didn't know it was you.

I'm taking Colleen
to go see her cousin

over in Pendleton
for the weekend.

Okay. Do you think you could
stop by and pick me up?

We are already out of Le Grande.

So I'm sorry.

But why don't you go

to our house and relax?

Be alone for a little while.

I can't be alone right now,
okay?

And I can't go home.

So I need you to please
just come pick me up.

Mom?

No.

Can it wait until Monday?

We'll be back on Sunday night,
and we'll see you on Monday.

And whatever it is,

I'm sure that we can
take care of it then.

Listen, Jadin, I will call you
first thing Sunday

when we get back, okay?

Just--

Come on, Jadin.

Come on, Jadin!

Come on, Jadin!

No, no, no.

Come on, come on, come on.

Would you mind if I say grace?

#Sure.
#It's okay?

#No. Go ahead.
- It's okay?

Our Father,
who art in heaven.

We come before thee
with heavy hearts.

We ask that thy loving
kindness be upon us.

And thy guidance.

We are indeed thankful
for the gift

Jadin has been in our lives.

We'll need help
on this new path.

We are thankful
for this meal before us

and ask thy blessing upon it.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Thank you.

You gotta get out of this room,
Joe.

You're pale as milk.

Put some clothes on.
Go outside. Take a walk.

Pretty sure
it'll do you good.

Joe, I'm hurting too.

What are you doing?

Just going for a drive.

Go back inside, Joseph.

No. Not until you tell me
what's going on.

Get your ass
back in the house.

I need to go for a drive,

and you need to get back inside
and get into bed.

Now.

Go back inside, Joseph.

Now.

#Shit.

Here you go.

#Thanks, Mom.
#Thanks.

Eat it while it's hot.

Can you pass me the syrup?

Yes.
#I have some bacon too.

#It may seem...

...people are just
going after each other,

but it requires a lot of skill.

Whoa! You're up.

Hi.

Lola, I got something
to tell you.

#Okay.
- Could you give me a few minutes?

Yes, Joe.

What is it?

I've decided to walk
across America to New York City.

What?

Did you hear what I said?

Yeah.

When did you decide that?

Well, just earlier this morning.

When I told you to take a walk,
I meant around the block.

Not to New York City.
- Lola,

I'll talk to everybody
along the way.

Anybody who will listen.
About bullying.

About the damage it does.
About what it did to our boy.

I'm doing this for Jadin, Lola.
It's what he wants.

It's what he'd want me to do,
I know it is.

I mean, he told us he wanted to
live there someday, remember?

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, I don't know.

How do you-- How do you--
How do you pay for it?

Well, I'll-- I'll get the money.
I can fundraise.

I mean, everybody's against
bullying, aren't they?

No. If they were,
this wouldn't have happened.

Let me get you something to eat
before you head on the highway.

So nice that you're
back up again.

Can I get some coffee, Marcie?
#Yeah.

Hey. You didn't tell your mama
about last night, did you?

No, sir.

Come here.
I love you, buddy.

Hey. I love you so much.

This is gonna be
something great, all right?

You'll see. I promise.
- Yeah.

Joe?

Joe?

Lola.

Joe, say something.
Why are you not talking?

You're scaring me.

I don't-- I don't think
I can keep going.

Joe... come on.

You gotta keep going.
- I just wanna come home.

Oh, Joe, you can't come home.
Come on.

You're doing it
for Jadin, remember?

Yeah. For Jadin.
I remember.

Yeah. And for us.

Do you want to talk to Joseph?

Is he there? Yeah.

Yeah, he's getting ready
for his wrestling match.

We're late.

I know he'd love
to talk to you, though.

Not like this.

Just... just tell him...

tell him I'll call--
I'll call him later.

Okay, okay. I'll tell him.

Lola?

I saw him.

He was right there
in front of me.

And he just kept leading me
for miles, and...

I followed him all the way,
and then...

he just disappeared.

Mom! We're late!

Joe.

Mom, did you pack the shoes?

Yeah. Everything's in there.

Okay. All right.

I love you.

I love you.

Kindness. And respect.

Kindness is the most important
quality a human being can have,

or that a parent can have.

Shit, when I was walking and
talking these past six months,

you never know how long you have
the people that you love

and that love you,

so you damn well
better love now, all right?

No matter how confused
or misguided or messed up

you think they are.

Because it's probably
a good chance

that you're just as messed up
as they are.

You gotta look in the mirror,
and gotta have accountability.

All right?

Hey, there. You're Joe Bell?

That I am. Yes.

I've got something for you.

Oh!

Holy shit!

Come here!

So we got Coke in here,
and some ice.

We got water over here
in this one.

That's a solar panel.

We'll pay you for this.
You're a good man, Jim.

Thank you so much.
Thank you.

♪ Beyond the things you do

♪ What became of all those
Mountains ♪

♪ We found so hard to climb

♪ We'll take the high road ♪

♪ Don't leave your side ♪

♪ Till you see it shine

♪ We'll take the high road ♪

♪ Baby, here it comes

♪ Don't you close your eyes ♪

Yeah, I...

You know, last night,
I had a corral

a bunch of strangers up the
street to come and hear me talk.

Shit. I gotta go.

Time for me to explain myself
to another lawman.

Howdy, sir.

Hi.

While you're taking your hands
out of your pockets,

why don't you tell me
where you're headed.

New York City.

Looking for a ride
out here then?

No. I'm walking.

Walking all the way to New York?

Joe Bell.

Yeah.

Well, what's your mission,
Mr. Bell?

Well, like it says there
on my card,

I talk to people
about bullying.

About how it's not okay
to torment somebody

because they're different
from you.

Different how?

Like my son Jadin.
He was gay.

He was bullied so bad in school,
he couldn't take it anymore.

You been on the road
six months?

Yeah.

I started out
in La Grande, Oregon.

When was the last time
you had a warm meal?

Sam, meet my new friend,
Joe Bell.

Joe, Sam.

Sam's my girl of all work,
and our dispatcher.

Have a seat.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

It's a pleasure, Joe.

I called the chaplain
like you asked, Sheriff.

He says once you give him
the green light,

he'll announce a youth meeting
with Joe as the speaker

here at the high school
this afternoon.

Joe?

Yeah, as long as you're sure

you can drop me off
where you picked me up,

because I intend to walk every
single step of the way.

Then let's get you fed.

Lunch here is usually
last night's leftovers.

I'm a sorry cook,
but I've learned the basics

of a microwave.

That's my son, William.

He wasn't your typical
teenage boy.

He didn't have that
'girl crazy' attitude

that we had when we
were his age.

Janine's pinto beans are even
better the next day.

Hmm. Yeah.

And the day after that.

I haven't had beans this good
since I left home.

The stove is strictly
Janine's domain.

I barely know
how to boil water.

She's a keeper.

I was on the family computer
one day, and I...

I saw that Will
had been searching

what it meant to be gay.

I have to admit, at first, I...

I worried that I'd been
too tough on him growing up.

We were raised Christians,
after all.

I wondered if he might have
told me sooner himself

if I hadn't been
such a hard-core lawman.

I thought about
that same thing.

About whether I was
too hard on my boy.

Well, if Jadin knew
before he died

that you loved him
and accepted him, that's what...

that's what matters,
isn't it?

I want to believe
that that's the way it was,

but I don't know if it was.

When I broke the news
to my dad

that his oldest grandson
was gay, he surprised me.

He's a Marine.

And he was a lot more
accepting

of William being gay
than I was.

And that made me take a long,
hard look at myself.

My father
didn't understand.

Still doesn't to this day,
even with Jadin being gone.

You know a lot of folks believe
that being gay is a choice?

All things being equal,

Jadin would have never
chosen to be bullied.

With all things being equal,

he would have never chosen
the way he died.

You know, Ben...

when I started out walking...

I didn't know
what I was doing, really.

I thought I just wanted
to make Jadin's life...

and his death
matter somehow.

But what I come to know...

is I've been walking
and trying to figure out

why my son did what he did.

And make sense out
of the part that I played

in his decision
to end his life.

I mean, I was too caught up
in my own feelings

about what other people
would think

to see how alone
my own son must have felt.

I should've known how bad
it was for him.

I... I should've known
all along.

But instead I just...

I just made Jadin's being gay
all about Joe Bell.

About me.

Not about my boy.

Joe...

I think you made me
realize something.

It never crossed my mind until
this very moment that...

William might have considered
taking his own life.

I don't think I could've
carried on if he had.

I never let him know
it was okay.

And I gotta live with that.

Don't make that same mistake,
Ben.

Don't do that to your son
or yourself.

Um...

Shh!

Uh...

thanks for having me
here today.

Uh, my name is Joe Bell.

I'm really honored to be here
to speak with you today

about something that I feel
is very, very important

not only to myself,
but to all of you.

I think you and I
are a lot more alike

than you'd want
to admit, Dad.

It took me 13 years

to realize that living a lie
wasn't really living at all.

It only took you six months.

No, son.

It took me 45 years
and six months.

I'm sorry, Jadin.

I'm so sorry.

I never meant for you to feel
that I didn't love you.

No, son. I never felt that.

And I always knew
you loved me.

Everything just...

hurt so much.

But deep down,
I always knew.

That means the world to me,
son.

The whole breathing world.

Dad?

I love you.

I know. I know.

I love you, buddy.

Hey, Lola, honey. It's me.

The reason I'm calling is
to tell you that I love you.

You and Joseph.

Thanks for putting up with me
all these years.

I don't know what would've
happened to me

if you hadn't come along
and taken me in.

I'm just truly lucky
to have my family.

There's a lot of things
I've learned out here,

with nobody but me for company.

Some of it's been hard
to come to know.

Real hard.

I know I've still got
a long road ahead of me.

And I'll be better about
staying in touch from now on.

You'll see.

You give my love to our boy.

I love you.

Sheriff Westin.

Sheriff, you're requested
on scene.

U.S. 40 just west
of Wild Horse,

a pedestrian was struck.

10-50 you call investigations.

Lincoln County Sheriff
arriving on scene.

Hurry to Jadin, Joe.

♪ You're feeling nervous
Aren't you, boy? ♪

♪ With your quiet voice

♪ And impeccable style

♪ Don't ever let them
Steal your joy ♪

♪ And your gentle ways

♪ To keep 'em
From running wild ♪

♪ They can kick dirt
In your face ♪

♪ Dress you down and tell you

♪ That your place
Is in the middle ♪

♪ When they hate
The way you shine ♪

♪ I see you tugging
On your shirt ♪

Okay, boys, mama...

Thank you!JOE: #You guys get together.

Happy Easter!

Okay, I want to tell you guys.

Look at me.

Look at the camera.

I love you guys so much,
with all my heart.

You guys are such great kids
and mamas.

♪ Let 'em spin ♪

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind ♪

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ I have seen how it ends

♪ And the joke's on them ♪

♪ You get discouraged
Don't you, girl? ♪

♪ It's your brother's world
For awhile longer ♪

♪ You gotta dance
With the devil ♪

♪ On a river
To beat the stream ♪

♪ Call it living the dream

♪ Call it kicking the ladder

♪ They come to kick dirt
In your face ♪

♪ To call you weak
And then displace you ♪

♪ After carrying your baby
On your back ♪

♪ Across the desert

♪ I saw your eyes
Behind your hair ♪

♪ And you're looking tired ♪

♪ But you don't look scared ♪

♪ Let 'em laugh ♪

♪ While they can

♪ Let 'em spin ♪

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind ♪

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ And I've seen how it ends ♪

♪ And the joke's on them ♪

♪ Let 'em laugh
While they can ♪

♪ Let 'em spin ♪

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind ♪

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ I have seen how it ends

♪ And the joke's on ♪

♪ Them

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh