Ji wu cang jiao (1988) - full transcript
College professor Ah B, and Carmen, his studio director fiancée, temporary move into an old house of friend Ching's grandfather while their new home is being built. While B and Carmen furnish and try to settle into their new temporary house, they are unaware that it is inhabited by the spirit of Ching's half-grandmother, who is desperately trying to seek her long lost love.
- Okay!
- Great!
- We can pack up now.
- Okay, pack up...
Carmen, you can take a look at the film
at 2.00pm tomorrow.
I've made an appointment with the editor.
He'll edit the film once you approve it.
Okay.
- Carmen, it's finished?
- Yes.
You are really efficient!
I don't know how long I can tolerate
this kind of boss.
He's such a lecher.
He is always taking advantage of you.
That's why you got promoted so soon.
Excuse me, get out of my way.
Such sarcastic remarks alone
are already troublesome to deal with.
Even if you're competent,
people would still doubt your ability.
- That's true...
- Ah Su, line four.
Okay, thank you.
"Newman Construction Company"
- Hello?
- Newman Construction Company?
Yes, how can I help you?
- What's wrong with your construction?
- What do you mean?
The completion of your Jones Building
was previously delayed for three months.
Now it's being delayed again?
When exactly
can it be ready for me to move in?
I've to pay the instalment
for the new house...
and the rent
for my rental flat at the same time.
It's a huge strain on my finances.
Miss...
My rental flat will be repossessed
at the end of the month.
Where can I move to then? Your house?
I need the house for my marriage.
- Building a house is different...
- Yes I know,
it's different from a jigsaw puzzle.
The weather conditions
will affect the schedule...
there have been many storms
for the past months.
You made these same excuses last time!
And you said the contract
stated that I can't sue you.
I'm glad you know that.
How dare you hang up on me!
- What audacity! How dare he hang up on me!
- Scumbag! How dare you hang up on me...
- Hello?
- Scumbag, how dare you hang up on me!
Only I can hang up on you!
This is outrageous...
- Hello?
- Hello? Newsman Construction Company?
- Yes.
- Scum! Only I can hang up on you!
- What's wrong?
- I'm still fuming even after scolding him.
Did you tell him which flat you bought?
Of course not, I don't want to end up
with a flat with no toilet.
You guys go after him,
I'll go the other way.
Mr Chung, please give us some exam tips.
- We are begging you, Mr Chung...
- I can't do that.
- Please...
- I didn't set the exam paper.
Sorry, I don't have any tips...
- We are begging you, Mr Chung...
- Okay, stop begging.
I don't have any tips,
but pay attention to chapter four.
Chapter four...
- Any other tips, Mr Chung?
- No!
I'll be at home
during the summer vacation...
Come and find me if you have any questions.
Boss, this looks good!
Mr Chung, is it to your liking?
I can give you a discount.
I think I'll pass,
my house is full of them.
My wife will scold me if I buy another one.
Really?
I'll reserve something good
for you next time the.
Great.
- How much for this mahjong set, Boss?
- Five hundred dollars.
- Five hundred dollars?
- This has a history of over eighty years.
I'll take it then!
Chung Chu Hsiung...
Cherie Chung? She's a famous film star!
Is she here?
- Where is she?
- Chung Chu Hsiung...
- Chung Chu Hsiung...
- I'm coming, stop shouting!
What? A man named
Chung Chu Hsiung? What a disgrace!
I told you guys
not to call my name in public.
But your name is Chung Chu Hsiung.
Just drive!
- It's so crowded in here.
- I told you to buy a bigger car.
- Let's determine our positions.
- I'll choose my own position...
My master said that my fortune star
is in the East today.
This is the East.
I'll sit facing the East. Go away.
- Number four, the East player starts first.
- East is my lucky number.
I'll triumph over all of you today.
I'm going to be rich!
Well, he's rich even if he doesn't
triumph over us in mahjong.
The Australian dollar
has been on the rise recently.
Yes.
The world is so unfair.
He doesn't need to work, he becomes richer
just by trading foreign currencies.
We work day and night like a dog
and yet we are still poor.
So the poor are getting poorer
while the rich are getting richer.
That's not true!
My grandfather doesn't give me
a lot of money each month, only...
Character nine tile!
(Ninety thousand dollars)
What? You're not satisfied with
ninety thousand dollars?
Character nine, are you going to take it?
- Come on, take it!
- If you don't want it, just draw your tile.
My grandfather is filthy rich.
He has a lot of money, but he's a miser.
- Let's continue with the game.
- But it's okay...
his days are numbered...
and I am his only heir,
so when he is dead...
Shame on you!
You're such an unfilial grandson!
Keep quiet!
- Hello?
- Can I speak to Chen Wen please?
Wrong number.
What a scare!
I thought my wife was checking on me.
You're yielding to her now.
You're going to suffer
when you get married two months later.
No, we've cohabited for a long time...
it's almost the same
as if we're already married.
- Thank you.
- No, I should thank you instead.
Five doubles.
How did you get five doubles?
Double East wind. I've already
said that East is my lucky number.
The North round is just over.
Let's calculate the scores...
It's a draw! What a coincidence!
Keep quiet! Keep quiet, shut up...
Carmen, you told me that you were going
to dine with clients tonight...
that's why I...
Ah B, I think we have to delay our wedding.
Carmen, you want to cancel the wedding
just because he plays mahjong?
Isn't that too serious?
At most I'll give up mahjong.
What are you talking about?
You said that
you want to cancel the wedding!
Our new house won't be ready
until three months later.
And this flat has to be repossessed
at the end of this month.
Where are we going to live?
How can we get married
without a place to stay?
I thought it was something serious,
so you're just looking for a place to stay?
You're lucky to have me as your friend.
My grandfather
has a house in New Territories.
He used it to keep his mistress.
But it has been vacant for a long time.
You can move in there
for two or three months.
Is it fit for occupation?
Although it's a bit old,
it has been properly maintained.
And it has water and electricity too.
That sounds good. How much is the rent?
That'll depend on his luck.
If he is lucky,
he doesn't need to pay a single cent.
And he can even get an allowance.
- What do you mean?
- His fate is on the mahjong table.
- Come on...
- Hurry up...
Let's continue with East round
and I'm the banker.
Please pay up for the five doubles first.
You said that the round was over
and it was a draw.
That's right, let's start all over again...
- You guys are so sly!
- We're not as sly as you...
- Where is your apple?
- Apple?
Bringing an apple to a new house
will ensure your peace and safety.
But I've already finished the apple.
Will an apple core work too?
Perhaps...
Luckily I kept this in support of
the "Keep Hong Kong Clean Campaign."
Otherwise I wouldn't even have this.
You never listen to my advice.
- It's such an old building.
- Don't worry, it's clean and tidy inside.
- Look...
- Boss, where shall we put the things?
Just move them inside.
- Be careful not to scratch the floor.
- Okay...
Look, I like this clock very much.
- You've always liked antique clocks.
- Is it nice?
Where should we put the sofa?
Just put the sofa here.
We can place the television here.
Let's go inside to see the bedroom.
She is...
She is Ching's step-grandmother.
With big, listless eyes and a hefty bosom,
she has the typical look of a seductress.
How could you say that?
We're going to live in her house.
Well, she looks quite beautiful.
Of course, otherwise how would
she be able to seduce another's husband...
into keeping her as a mistress
in such a big house?
- You women are so mean...
- What?
This house seems okay,
although it's a bit old.
What are you doing?
- Hey, these are my valuables! Be careful...
- You should carry them in one by one...
Boss, we've worked hard since the morning
and we haven't had a drop of water.
You should tip us some money to buy drinks.
You're asking for a tip when
you've only worked for a short while?
Let's continue working, I'm sure
the boss will reward us appropriately...
isn't that right, boss?
Come on, let's continue.
Darling, this is already the thirtieth pot.
Enough...
- I'm going to boil the water for my bath.
- Go ahead.
Take your time.
I'd better finish my bath quickly...
What happened?
Goddess on a lotus?
Are you okay?
I've finished my bath. Now it's your turn.
Half a pot of water will be enough for me.
Hey, you...
Miss... she's the one
who called you a seductress.
She said that you have big, listless eyes
and a hefty bosom!
I've always been accused
of being a seductress...
This is an interesting room.
It's very cooling here,
it's like an air-conditioned room.
She walks around the house
without wearing any pants.
I don't think she's a decent woman.
- I think she's a mistress herself.
- I agree.
A wicker bed?
She didn't even
say "sorry" or "excuse me."
You're right.
It's quite comfortable here.
All right, I'll sleep here tonight.
Follow me.
But Ching told us not to touch the things
upstairs. Those are his grandfather's gems.
Just take a look first.
- Wonderful!
- I knew you'd like this room.
This is made with
authentic blackwood and marble.
A set of furniture like this would cost
up to three hundred thousand dollars now.
That seductress had cheated
a lot of money from Ching's grandfather.
A set like this was
already very expensive back then.
Nonsense! These are all my dowry!
It's quite cool in here.
- That goes without saying.
- In fact, I feel a bit cold.
Let me give you some warmth then.
This is so embarrassing!
No man has slept on my bed for many years.
Now they're making a mess of my bed.
Miss, I'm going out first.
Where are you going? Come on!
So awkward.
Open your eyes...
Or open your mouth...
- Darling...
- Wife...
This is fun...
Darling, don't move...
I'm too exhausted to move anyway...
Disgusting!
Ah B, let's go now...
Run!
Miss, I haven't seen you laugh so happily
for a long time.
That's enough. If you continue spraying,
we'll die from poisoning.
Look, there's a huge crack here,
you don't know what's hiding inside.
Okay, I'll mend it tomorrow.
Let's sleep now.
- What are we having today?
- Salad and steak.
There's no bottled gas delivery on Sunday.
Do you need me to start the fire?
No, I can handle it, it's just a barbecue.
What's that?
It's a large glass box.
- What does it contain?
- It's so heavy!
Let's go in and see what is happening.
How can you start a fire
with such big pieces of wood?
Lend her a hand.
She's so skilled in chopping wood.
I better not provoke her in the future.
Carmen, my antenna
has been caught in a tree.
Come and help me to get it down.
Who is shouting?
Can you hear that?
Carmen, hurry up...
That was fast.
Okay. Let me see
if I can receive the signal.
Done!
This is interesting!
It's so aromatic!
It smells good!
I thought we are having salad?
Why did you cook so many dishes?
Don't hug me,
it'd be bad if people see us.
Are you pretending to be shy?
Your face is so dirty.
Let me wipe it for you.
- No, I can do it myself.
- Come on, don't be shy.
Let me wipe it for you.
Done! I'll bring the dishes out now.
You told me that we're having salad.
This is so embarrassing...
What happened? Did I just finish cooking?
Miss...
- Don't block my view.
- Listen to me, he...
He hugged me tightly just now!
Really?
He even caressed...
he caressed my face!
Let me try the food.
He even brought the dishes out for me.
He's the first man
who's been so nice to me.
Stop staring at him. Look at this
glass box, it's more interesting.
- Miss, why are there so many people inside?
- It's interesting, isn't it?
What's this?
- You've already set up the television?
- It's a television!
The dishes are delicious!
Didn't you know
that your wife is a great cook?
Yes, you're great.
"Dad said that
you can take the baby with you."
"Of course he said that."
"The midwife said that
this baby might not live long."
"Don't blame us. I'll give you
some money as compensation."
"You can have all this furniture too
if you like."
Miss, her plight
is somewhat similar to yours.
Her plight is worse,
at least I don't have a baby.
You're right.
- "Pei, you..."
- "Son! Why is she still here?"
Women in the past were so stupid.
They allowed their men to flirt outside
and resigned themselves to fate.
They were pure and innocent.
Actually they were very adorable.
They were obedient, loyal, hardworking,
and they never complained.
Exactly! That's why
you men could keep concubines...
find mistresses, fool around,
and make women miserable.
- Not every man is like that.
- I disagree.
Well, it takes two to tango. Some
women are willing to become concubines...
or are willing to be kept as mistresses.
- These women are really brainless.
- Miss, she said that you're brainless.
The social system
was like that in the past.
Well, those women were useless.
If my husband
wanted to keep a concubine...
I'd castrate him
and divorce him immediately.
That's the problem with you modern women.
You want a divorce if any problems occur.
In the past, only the husband
could repudiate his wife.
Of course, women had to depend
on their husbands in the past.
And she had a maid to serve her
all the time.
Once she was divorced, without her husband
to support her, how could she live?
- She might as well eat faeces.
- Miss, she told you to eat faeces.
Eat it!
What's wrong?
Perhaps I've strained my muscles,
that's why I'm having muscle cramps now.
Really?
Why can't I pick it up?
Let me help you.
Miss, you're great.
Let me wash the bowls. You wipe the table.
Let me wash the bowls instead.
You wipe the table.
Let me take a few photos of Ah B.
- They are going to take photos.
- Yes.
- Ah B, let me take a photo for you.
- Why?
Look here.
- Oh, it has a flash!
- One more.
Can it work?
It's fully automatic,
I just press this button.
Press this button...
Smile!
Ah B!
Monster!
Gigi, I want to continue watching.
Do something...
Okay... I know what to do!
You are very sleepy now...
You want to sleep now...
don't read anymore...
- Miss, it works! We can continue watching.
- Really? Let's continue watching.
Great!
This is so scary!
Is plagiarism the trend now?
We spent thirty minutes
talking about ball games and exercises...
Why are you so listless?
I'm totally exhausted
after two days of house moving.
What about your proposal?
The audience are not stupid.
Can you call this a commercial?
It's totally rubbish! Now...
- What should we do now?
- We just take things as they come.
Look at how the client rambles on and on,
I won't need to say anything today.
I don't think you have any good ideas.
Don't waste my time anymore.
Mr Yang, can you give us ten more minutes?
Two of my top producers
can offer you better ideas.
All right, I'll give you ten more minutes.
Any suggestions?
My concept is to feature
a female astronaut in the commercial.
The commercial would emphasise
the innovative design...
of the Suprex sanitary napkin.
And highlight its lightness and thinness,
its ability to prevent leakage...
and its high absorbency.
You'd feel superb and carefree
like an astronaut...
walking in space after using Suprex.
The astronaut will be wearing
a tight-fitting spacesuit...
to stress the ultra-thinness of Suprex.
A load of rubbish!
I've said that
I want to reach out to the masses...
but you propose to feature
a female astronaut in the commercial?
Let me ask you, how many
female astronauts are there in the world?
There's no rapport
with the audience at all.
Carmen...
what about your design?
I have in mind
an unconventional approach...
which is to get a man to do
this sanitary napkin commercial.
What?
Good idea. Go on.
I... well, for this commercial, I've to...
I've to give it more thought
since it's such an unusual idea.
Miss Li, please let me have your design
as soon as possible.
- I've to go now.
- Goodbye, Mr Yang.
- Carmen.
- Yes?
We'll be counting on you this time.
What are you going to do now?
I've to come up with something
because I'm the one who proposed that.
Su, you have a call
from your husband again.
Tell him to go to hell.
Tell him that I'm going out with a man.
- What is going on between the two of you?
- Nothing. Don't talk about him anymore.
The gender roles have been reversed now.
The woman goes out to work
while the man does the household chores.
Miss, I think he might be her gigolo.
You're right.
Who are you looking for?
I'm the electrician from Shun Chi
whom you called this morning.
Shun Chi? But he looks like a thug.
Do you have any form of identification?
We're a small shop,
we don't have such documents.
How do I know your identity then,
big brother?
I'm no longer a big brother, I've quit
the secret society and gotten a decent job.
Why are you denying me the chance
to turn over a new leaf?
Give me a chance, I beg you...
- Please believe me!
- Okay... I believe you.
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey, I'm sorry...
although you want to turn over a new leaf,
you still look fierce and menacing.
Come on in.
What is this?
Gigi, am I beautiful?
It's a cute outfit!
But it's torn at the back.
Really?
You're right.
Hold on for a second.
- Miss, let me take a photo for you.
- Sure.
What is this?
"White Cement"
Even the electricity is cut off.
Ah B...
Darling.
Today is not my birthday.
So what's the celebration for?
It's to celebrate our official moving-in.
Everything's fixed now.
Really?
- It looks interesting.
- And you've prepared Japanese food too.
Look...
Darling, you're the best.
It's actually the money
that does the magic.
I've spent over a thousand dollars.
Well, we put our relationship before money.
Miss, I remember in the past,
when Master returned here...
the two of you were as passionate
as they are now.
I've painted a portrait of you,
so I won't miss you so dearly.
Gigi...
- Miss, are you alright?
- I'm fine.
Don't drink too much, you will get drunk.
I don't want...
What are you doing?
They might discover us.
Don't worry, I'll take the photograph
when there's lightning.
It's so fun!
- You can have this, you like it...
- No, you eat! You like it...
I can finally have a comfortable bath
after moving in for so many days.
Because today
is our official day for moving in.
So it's you! Come on in!
Who is she?
Each time you show up,
I have to sleep in the living room.
I hope I don't end up sleeping
on the streets next time.
- What happened this time?
- He hit me!
How dare he!
Look, I'm covered in bruises.
Men are all jerks!
You should hit him back.
I did, but I was no match for him,
so I ran off.
A man who hits a woman is a total jerk.
You should just divorce him.
How can she advise her
to divorce her husband?
Exactly.
You can't bear to leave him?
Just get it over with,
rather than prolonging it.
It'll be more troublesome
when you have children in the future.
It's your fault too, why did you rush
into a marriage at such a young age?
Well, you should divorce him
while you're still young.
It's hard to find a new partner
when you are old. Don't hesitate anymore.
Just divorce him.
Listen to me...
Actually divorce isn't the best way
to solve problems.
A couple should try to tolerate each other
and live harmoniously together.
Any misunderstanding should be
cleared up calmly and peacefully...
not through quarrelling or violence.
Harmony in the family
leads to happiness and prosperity.
Men are always more careless and clumsy.
Just forgive him!
What you said sounds
reasonable and sensible.
Of course!
Don't be swayed by the drivel of others.
Divorce shouldn't be taken lightly.
Am I right?
Just follow my advice!
What did I say just now?
What you said was quite convincing.
I feel much better now.
- Let's go back upstairs.
- Okay.
Oh no! My eyes are swollen from crying.
How can I go back to the office tomorrow?
Well, you brought this upon yourself.
Don't worry,
let me apply a facial mask for you
and you'll be beautiful tomorrow.
Anyway, I want one for myself too.
Hey, Ah B...
Wake up!
It's me!
Carmen, you've almost scared me to death!
I'm doomed!
The facial powder
might have already expired...
the mask can't be removed now.
Stop laughing!
Sue is facing the same problem.
Come in and help us.
What am I supposed to do?
You have to break the mask for us! Come on!
My face really hurts!
Okay, let me break it for you.
Just hammer it lightly!
I can't break it if I hammer it lightly.
Stay still and don't move!
- It's your turn now.
- Please be more gentle...
- It hurts! Please be more gentle...
- Don't move...
Who could it be at this hour?
If it's my husband, don't let him come in
and see me in this state.
- Okay.
- Just lie down.
- Who is it?
- I'm Sam!
He can find his way here...
Carmen...
I thought Sue said
she was no match for you?
- Can I come in?
- Come on in.
Thank you. Is Sue here?
Well, she always comes to my place
when the two of you have a fight.
Why are you so late this time?
I asked a lot of people
before finding out that you'd moved here.
Come on in.
- Where's Sue?
- She's in the room with my husband.
In the room? Why?
Knocking something.
- What? Knocking something?
- Right.
You've the nerve to tell me that...
your husband is knocking something
with my wife inside?
Yes, he already did it for me,
so it's your wife's turn.
That's between the two of you.
But how could he do it for my wife too?
Well, if you'd come earlier,
I could have let you do it for me too.
Your wife told me not to let you in
to see her in such a state.
Of course she doesn't want me
to see her in bed with another guy!
- Get out of my way!
- Please be more gentle...
Don't be so impulsive. Just wait for
a while more. It'll be over soon.
If you go in now,
you'll embarrass everyone.
Get out of my way, or I'll knock your head!
Scum, how dare you!
Why are you in bed with my wife?
Oh, you're here?
Now you can do it for her.
Scumbag, why did you come in?
- Sue, listen to me first, I...
- Get out...
Sue, I'm sorry!
I couldn't stop him from coming in.
- Don't be angry, Sue...
- Scum,
I told you to stay away yet you barged in.
Scumbag, go to hell...
She told me
you two were knocking something...
So I thought...
What do you think I'm doing?
I'll kill you.
- Sue, don't do this...
- Scumbag...
- How dare you...
- Listen to me...
Why is it so noisy?
- She's hitting him...
- She's hitting him hard...
Stop right there!
Miss Li...
- Don't worry. I'll settle this, Mr Yang.
- Miss Li...
I'm not trying to
make things difficult for you.
I like the concept
of your commercial very much.
I care very much for this commercial...
that's why I need
someone special for the job.
If the candidate is unsuitable...
the commercial would not turn out well,
you'd not like it too.
- He's right!
- That's right.
Sorry, Mr Yang.
I was too impulsive just now.
But I really have no idea
what kind of man you have in mind.
We've recommended two hundred men to you
but you couldn't find anyone suitable.
You didn't like any of the candidates
you saw today either.
- Sue!
- Sue...
- Yes?
- Get more photographs
to let Mr Yang select.
He's the perfect choice!
Why bother searching anymore?
This one? He won't do it.
Well, he's your friend,
he won't turn you down. Am I right?
Yes...
- But he's very expensive to hire.
- How much?
- His rate is thirty thousand dollars a day.
- I'm willing to pay.
- Don't bother searching anymore.
- He won't do it...
He can do it...
"Supernatural Power"
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
You guys scared
the living daylights out of me.
What were you mumbling?
What mumbling? I was trying to use
my psychic powers to move this cup.
Psychic powers? You have psychic powers?
According to the book, everyone has.
It depends on whether
you know how to use it.
- According to the book?
- How do we use it?
The book says that you've to concentrate
and stare at the object...
then you've to use your will power
to obtain your desired outcome.
Why were you mumbling then?
It's actually an incantation
to help you to concentrate.
How do you say it?
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
My power alone might not be strong enough.
Let's try doing it together.
Okay... let's try it...
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What's so fun about this?
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- They are so noisy! Gigi, do something!
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- We did it!
- We're like supermen!
- Let's try it on something heavy.
- Okay...
- How about the television?
- Let's try the table!
Great...
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
Carmen...
You guys are here.
Why is there a broken cup here?
- Let's get Carmen to join us!
- Okay...
No...
Let's try if we can use our power
to control a human being.
- Good idea!
- No way...
- You have to serve her all the time...
- Let's see what they are up to.
- Let her serve us for a change!
- No...
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What are you guys talking about?
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What are you guys trying to do?
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
Why are you all standing there?
Come in and have a seat.
Come on, don't be shy.
Come in and have a seat.
Please make yourselves comfortable.
Let me get something to serve you.
We did it...
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
- Come and eat something.
- Let's dig in...
Rascal, let me help you. You want this?
Thank you.
- How about you?
- I want a soft drink.
- I want beer...
- Please hold on.
- Thank you.
- There you go.
Cheers...
Let me propose a toast to you guys.
I'll drink first to show my sincerity.
What's your name, sir?
What? You don't know that
his name is Wu Kuo Ching?
So your surname is Wu?
I feel a sense of attachment
to people with the surname Wu.
Little Moustache,
why do you keep staring at me?
- I didn't...
- I don't care.
You've to finish this can of beer.
Fatty, you're the most well-behaved.
Let me reward you with some fruits.
- The three of you come out with me now!
- Okay...
Tell me, what was on your mind when
we were chanting the incantation just now?
Don't be mistaken...
I was just hoping that Carmen would
treat us to dinner tonight.
I didn't lust after her.
But I don't know
if they had any lustful thoughts.
Don't accuse us!
We really didn't lust after her!
Don't be mistaken!
We won't joke around with such matters,
don't be mistaken!
Are you sure
you don't have any lustful thoughts?
Of course not!
You better be telling the truth,
otherwise we'd no longer be friends.
Miss, this is getting out of hand,
stop messing around with them.
Let's go.
Carmen, we are leaving now.
- Yes, we are leaving.
- Bye.
You guys are leaving
when I've just returned?
Why don't you guys stay for dinner tonight?
No, thanks. Bye.
Bye.
Why are your friends behaving so strangely?
Can you try to say the word,
"rascal" again?
What rascal?
I'm not as flirtatious as you.
Come in, I've found
a summer vacation job for you.
- What kind of job?
- To star in a commercial.
Why me?
The client insisted that you're the perfect
candidate after seeing your photograph.
Now you know how important your husband is.
But what kind of commercial is it?
I won't do it
if it involves sex or violence.
Well, it's a new...
instant noodles commercial.
They pay a handsome remuneration
of ten thousand dollars a day.
Wow, it's a deal then. Rascal!
Mr Chen, a level eight typhoon is coming
and you're still going out?
If I don't make this trip, I'd have
a level ten typhoon right in my house.
Why is that?
I forgot to buy Suprex
for my wife just now.
She's now flying into a rage inside!
Don't worry, I've just bought
several packs of Suprex.
Here, you can have one to pacify your wife.
Thank you so much!
I can have a good night's sleep tonight.
Good, okay!
How was my performance?
- You're just like a professional actor.
- Really?
- Would I look handsome on screen?
- Of course!
Whenever a storm hits,
a woman would feel uneasy and perturbed.
In order to pacify her...
I'll always have several packs of Suprex
ready at home in case of emergency.
Hubby, I forgot to remind you
to buy Suprex.
Okay!
- Hey, is the filming done?
- Yes, you can leave now.
What about you?
I still need to film some close-up shots
of the product. It'll take quite a while.
- Do come back earlier. Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye!
You're not going to tell him the truth?
I'll take it one step at a time.
Let's get back to work.
It's a close-up shot.
Gigi...
- Yes, Miss?
- Where have you been? Why is it so noisy?
I was watching them
playing mahjong downstairs!
Playing mahjong? I haven't played it
for many years! Let's go!
Do you want this tile?
Sorry, all of a kind!
You've to pay all my winnings.
- I'm the only one to pay again?
- Why are you so lousy?
Luckily I don't have to pay anything.
Serves you right for discarding
such an obvious tile to let him win.
That's right,
you shouldn't have discarded this tile.
I've almost lost all my money.
Don't worry.
The remuneration that you got from
your commercial can cover your losses.
If I keep losing like this,
I might lose more than what I've earned.
So when can we see you on television?
Carmen said that the first airing
will be on next Monday at 8.00pm.
I haven't seen it too. Remember to watch it
and see if I look like a movie star.
Right now I just want to see
if you still have any cash left.
- Go away!
- Why are you so cocky?
All right, let me play for a while.
What round is it now?
It's the West round and I'm the banker.
Have you gone crazy after losing so much?
Well, we'll see who will go crazy later.
I won't worry
since you're such a lousy player...
When I learned how to play mahjong,
I bet your dad wasn't even born yet.
Gigi, isn't that right?
Who are you talking to?
Red tile.
Pung! Why are you playing so fast?
Yes, why are you playing so fast?
It's fun!
Five doubles!
Oh, six doubles!
Seven doubles!
- All triplets, all of a kind!
- Great!
Oh, Big Three Dragons!
Big Four Winds!
- Oh, game!
- Terrific!
Four triplets and self-pick win.
Ching, you've to pay all my winnings.
I'm really down on my luck today.
If I continue losing like this,
I'll be doomed unless my grandfather dies.
You lost a few rounds of mahjong
and you're cursing your grandfather.
You're so unfilial.
I'm not cursing him.
I received a call
from Australia two days ago...
that he was in critical condition
in the hospital.
Are you going to inherit a huge fortune
from your grandfather?
Well, not really, but this house alone
should fetch around three million dollars.
This is your grandfather's house?
When did he buy it?
I told you before, he bought this house
to keep his mistress when he was young.
What's your grandfather's name?
I rolled an eleven.
Didn't I tell you that before?
His name is Wu Tsui Tsai!
It's Wu Shui Tsai!
Is the name of your grandmother
Ho Fei Feng?
Is her name Ho Fei Feng?
You remember my grandmother's name?
She was not a mistress.
She was a very popular songstress then.
However, she gave up her career
to be together with your grandfather.
Songstress? They were not
the same as today's singers.
Back then, a songstress
was also known as a prostitute.
How do you know all this?
You told me before.
It's your turn! Hurry up and play!
Master... how's your grandfather now?
I've already said that
he's in a critical condition in Australia.
- Why didn't you go and visit him?
- I can do anything even if I visit him...
Even if...
Carmen's back. It's time to stop.
Don't bother about her. Carry on speaking.
It's boring to just continue speaking.
It's more fun to continue playing.
Hsiung, you're taking charge again?
- Carry on speaking...
- Carmen...
Take your time to play.
Why are you asking about him?
You're not getting his inheritance.
I've won the last round, three doubles!
Darn it! I want my change back.
I will give you your change,
don't be so fierce...
I demand a rematch to recover my losses...
I've no objection.
It all depends on Hsiung.
Let's continue playing.
And you carry on talking too.
Oh, that's different then.
Excuse me, let me go to the toilet first.
What are you looking at?
Hey, I'm really hungry.
Since Carmen is back,
tell her to cook something for us.
- What? Carmen is back?
- You said not to bother about her.
- Crazy, we have to stop playing now.
- I thought you're no longer henpecked.
- Miss, what did he say to you?
- Nothing...
Hey, stop playing and clear the table.
He's not interested
after going to the toilet.
- They're leaving now...
- Get up...
- Let's help to pack the mahjong tiles.
- No need, I'll do it.
- Let's leave now...
- Where is my spectacle?
- Don't leave yet...
- Where are my spectacles?
Miss, did you manage
to get any information?
No.
Let me take a photograph of myself
on television to show my foreign friends.
There's no more film.
Let me get a new roll of film.
You're back!
I'm having noodles.
Shall I cook a bowl for you?
I've come back specially
to dine out with you.
Better not, I want to watch
my premiere performance on television.
Well, you can watch it in the future.
I don't feel like having instant noodles.
We can just watch it first before
going out, it's almost time anyway.
I went to buy instant noodles today,
but I couldn't find this brand.
The commercial is airing today,
why isn't it in stores yet?
Maybe it was sold out
in the store that you visited.
- All right, let's go now.
- Hold on, I still need to get changed.
Why don't you go and get changed now?
- What's the hurry?
- I'm really hungry.
It's on air now!
Mr Chen, a level eight typhoon is coming
and you're still going out?
That voice doing my voiceover
sounds so awkward.
If I don't make this trip, I'd have
a level ten typhoon right in my house.
Why is that?
I forgot to buy Suprex for my wife.
She's now flying into a rage inside!
Don't worry, I've just bought
several packs of Suprex.
Here, you can have one to pacify your wife.
Thank you so much!
I can have a good night's sleep tonight.
For a few days every month,
a woman would feel uneasy and perturbed.
In order to pacify her...
I'll always have several packs of Suprex
ready at home in case of emergency.
Hubby, I forgot to remind you
to buy Suprex.
Look at this...
"Suprex"
Buy Suprex for your most beloved woman
and she'll love you even more.
Suprex Sanitary Napkin is
highly absorbent...
and is specially designed
to prevent leakage.
With Suprex Sanitary Napkin,
you can have peace of mind all year round.
Hsiung... no,
Mr Suprex, I have to hand it to you!
- You!
- Go ahead and scold me, I'm ready for this.
You... you stinky...
We're both civilised people.
So please watch your language.
- What did you want to say?
- You stinky bean curd!
How dare you betray me!
You must have watched too many triad films.
How can you accuse me of betraying you?
We're not from the triads.
At most you can only accuse me of lying.
I'm glad you understand that.
You know that I hate liars.
Why didn't you tell me the truth?
That's right, a couple
should be truthful with each other.
Mr Chung, I have a sanitary napkin
commercial for you to star in.
Would you care to do it?
Sanitary napkin? What is that?
- Are you crazy? Of course not!
- Precisely!
The client insisted on starring you
in the commercial.
If I didn't lie to you...
you would have refused
to do it and I could get fired anytime.
Now I'm the one
who could get fired anytime!
I'm a teacher, not a sexologist!
How am I going to face other people?
Did I trick you to become a gigolo?
It's only a commercial,
what's so embarrassing about that?
Is there a rule that states that
a university lecturer...
cannot star in a commercial?
No!
But you shouldn't have made me
do a sanitary napkin commercial!
I get it! It's a female napkin!
What age are we in now? Why should you care
whether it's a female or male product?
It's just a piece of merchandise!
- Merchandise?
- Isn't it?
Now the commercial is already on air.
What do you want to do?
- I want to hit someone!
- What is he going to do?
They've never had such a huge
quarrel before. What's going on?
Didn't you hear that just now?
He accused her of lying to him
about his auntie's napkin!
No matter what the reason is, it's not
right for a couple to lie to each other.
That's true. Just like when Master said
he would come back to you.
But he didn't keep his promise.
No way, he would never lie to me.
He must have his reason
for not coming back.
Master would never lie to me!
Why did I say such a thing to upset her...
- Mr Chung, good morning!
- Good morning.
Mr Chung, my wife feels really perturbed
when she has her period.
After she saw your commercial...
she said that
if I want her to love me even more...
I should buy some Suprex for her.
If I buy them from you,
can you give me a discount?
I really can't stand that
Suprex commercial...
Have a seat...
Good morning, Mr Suprex.
Did Carmen sleep well last night?
What's so funny?
Hsiung, you did a sanitary napkin
commercial this time...
next time you might do a bra commercial!
Why are you guys so obsolete in thinking?
Why bother with
what the commercial is about?
It's the money that counts!
How much can you get
for this kind of commercial?
Well, I was paid
a hundred thousand dollars.
So why would I reject it?
- So much money?
- It's worth doing it then.
If such an opportunity arises again,
please tell Carmen to recommend me for it.
I don't mind wearing it even!
- Help me to take a photo with the big star.
- Okay.
Stop it...
What's up with this?
There's a death in his family.
- My grandfather has died.
- My condolences.
- He's actually very happy about that.
- Hey, I'm not that unfilial.
Hsiung, I need to return to the house
in the afternoon...
to find a place
to put my grandfather's altar and ashes.
In his will, he stated that
the house cannot be sold.
He wanted to be buried there.
I have to return to school in
the afternoon, you'll have to do it alone.
- Okay, let's have some tea.
- By the way...
Here's the feng shui compass
that I borrowed from you last time.
Look, isn't that the man
in the Suprex commercial last night?
- Yes, he's quite handsome!
- Yes, Suprex...
- Mr Suprex, having breakfast so early?
- Yes...
Hey, let's go now! This is so embarrassing!
Where can I go
to have my photos developed?
Let me help you.
I don't want to attract
so much attention...
But we've not eaten anything yet!
Actually you shouldn't feel ashamed,
you should feel proud instead.
I don't get such a chance to be famous.
- Just eat your food!
- Have some tea!
Miss, are we really going to
go search for Master?
But we don't even know where Australia is.
Let's go out to find out.
I guess it must be near
Cheung Chau or Peng Chau.
But we've not stepped out of this house
for many years, I'm afraid...
If you're afraid, don't come along then!
No,
I'm afraid you might not stand the ordeal.
Miss, let me go downstairs to see
if anything needs packing.
Gigi, have we forgotten anything?
I thought I heard some noises,
but why can't I see anyone?
I was almost scared out of my wits.
Ching?
- Someone is back!
- Why are you so excited?
Because Ching is back!
- Ching?
- Your half grandson!
Why is it so windy?
Old things tend to spoil easily.
- Ching!
- Mummy!
- Don't be afraid...
- A ghost...
Let me go! Let me go!
Gigi, let him go. You might scare him.
- Young Master.
- Another ghost!
Mummy...
I'm not your mother,
I'm your step-grandmother.
Keep away from me!
I'm the only heir in the family.
If anything happens to me,
my grandmother won't let you off.
Don't be silly. Look at me,
do I look like a bad person?
Of course you are!
You seduced a married man!
That's not true!
It was your grandfather who wooed her!
Is it a sin to love someone?
Trying to run?
Don't be afraid, I just want to ask you
something about your grandfather.
My grandfather? I know nothing about him.
If you have any questions,
you can ask my grandmother.
She is here and she's right behind you!
Forget it...
He's too frightened
and he's biased against me.
I don't think
we can get anything out of him.
Excuse me.
They are not married yet
but they can live together.
However, they are avoiding each other.
I could only get to see Master
two or three times a month...
and we had to be secretive about it.
They don't know how fortunate they are.
Miss, it's not his fault.
It's the fault of that woman.
She lied to him,
yet she is unapologetic about it.
You're right, a woman should know
her position in a relationship.
She should always obey the man.
But I don't think that woman would do that.
Miss, why don't you help them?
All right,
it pains me to see them like that.
Go...
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you.
I should have obtained your consent first
before doing anything.
I hope that you can forgive me.
So you admit your mistake?
Come, let me help you to get up.
Don't be afraid, go on...
- Let's not quarrel anymore in the future.
- Okay.
Shui Tsai!
Shui Tsai!
Shui Tsai...
Tramp!
What happened? Why did he hit her?
Miss, you uttered Master's name
when you were too excited just now.
- Oh no!
- Tramp!
Hey, that's enough! You came in to slap me
and undress me when I was asleep.
- Are you a man?
- I'm not a man if I don't slap you!
I thought you lied to me
about one thing only...
but I'm wrong! You're so shameless!
What do you mean?
What are you trying to say?
I want to use foul language to scold you!
Are you out of your mind?
Miss, you were supposed to help them,
you shouldn't inject your
own feelings into it.
You're right, but perhaps
I was too absorbed in it.
Why are you here alone? Where's Carmen?
- I'll be alone from now on.
- What happened to Carmen?
She cuckolded me.
That's impossible,
she's not that kind of woman.
- Did you see it with your own eyes?
- No, but I heard it with my own ears.
She uttered another man's name
when she was in bed with me...
Shui Tsai...
Carmen might have been possessed
by a ghost!
What are you guys talking about?
Female ghosts! Two of them!
- Hello!
- They are so gorgeous!
Hey, your photos have been developed.
Here you go.
Are you guys listening to me?
It's a matter of life and death!
Just say it.
You guys should know that Shui Tsai
is my grandfather's name.
Yes...
When I went to the house to set up
my grandfather's altar today...
I bumped into the spirits
of my step-grandmother and her maid!
- And they nearly killed me!
- Really?
Of course!
They pursued me to the living room
and slammed me to the ground...
and they even pushed me
from the second floor.
Why are you still alive then?
Because I was lucky and agile.
Otherwise...
Hey, look at these photos...
They are quite well-taken.
Look, these photos with me alone
were taken by Carmen.
And these photos with the both of us...
- Who took the photo for you?
- No, I'm sure we were alone then.
Look at this photo! Who is she?
It's that mistress! Ghost...
- Let me have a look.
- Ghost...
You're right! What should we do now?
Carmen is alone at home now!
- You've to go back and rescue her!
- How can I rescue her?
According to what you've said,
these two ghosts sound very powerful.
- Master, you've to subdue them personally.
- He's right.
I'm only an actor,
I don't have the ability to subdue them.
But your techniques in the movie
seem very powerful.
You might be able to scare them away
with those techniques.
- He's right...
- It's easier said than done.
- I really can't go and subdue them tonight.
- Why?
Because I need to go for filming tonight.
What should we do then?
Master, hold on! Master!
Well, Ching...
You've been my disciple for so many years,
so you should have mastered all my skills.
I'll promote you
to be an official priest tonight.
So you can handle this yourself.
He is the priest?
- Master, I'm officially a priest now?
- Yes!
I'd be mad
if I continued to be with such a man.
But you're the one who was at fault first.
I just wanted to clear
the misunderstanding between us.
But why is he accusing me of things
that I've never done?
And he came in to slap me
when I was asleep!
Well, he's not to be blamed for that.
Let me apologise to you...
Why are you speaking up for him?
Who are you...
- Who are you?
- I'm Ching's step-grandmother.
Ghost!
- Don't be afraid.
- Don't be afraid...
Help!
Help!
Don't be afraid!
Don't waste your breath.
Let me handle this.
Help! Help! Ghost!
Let me out!
Miss, you can take your time
to talk to her now.
Stay away from me...
Don't worry, we won't hurt you.
I think it's better for you
to keep a distance away from me.
I know that both of you
love each other deeply.
Why break up over such a small matter?
Well, he left me first.
He only did it on the spur of the moment.
You can reconcile with him
when he comes back.
How do I know when he will come back?
Won't I be stupid to wait for him
if he doesn't come back?
A couple should have trust in each other.
If you love him,
you must have confidence in him.
If you've chosen him,
you have to trust your choice.
Otherwise,
it's either you don't love him anymore.
Or you think that
you've made the wrong choice.
But how do I know how many days to wait?
How many days?
Do you know that my mistress waited
for Master to return for over fifty years?
Well, you have
too much confidence in men.
But I think you might have waited in vain.
No, Master promised me he would come back
no matter what happens.
I hope he would keep his promise.
He promised me that! He wouldn't lie to me!
Ghost...
Oh no, they've captured Carmen.
- We have to perform the rites now!
- I'll get the table.
Don't bother, we've no time to waste!
- Why did he slap me just now?
- You can ask me. I know what happened...
Tao...
Tao, Tao, Tao...
- What are you guys doing?
- Tao...
- Where?
- Right here! We'll perform the rites here!
Peach wood sword!
Maiden sword?
Don't worry, my Master has taught me
how to use this too.
"Maiden swordplay is strong and powerful,
I'm going to hurt you!"
"Hurt you..."
What are you guys doing?
They mean no harm.
Carmen, don't move!
We're here to rescue you!
Recite the spells!
Recite spells? What spells?
We don't know any spells!
Sing a song then.
Just sing a song to frighten them away.
What song should we sing?
That song we sang when we were students.
"Help! I need somebody, help!"
"Not just anybody, help!"
"You know I need someone, help!"
Stop!
Not this song, it's that Chinese song.
One, two, one, two, three, four...
"I'm tormented by love..."
"The flowers and the moon
remind me of my lost love."
"But alas, it's all in vain. The flowers
and the moon witness my sorrow..."
- "How could you break your promise to me?"
- Throw! Throw!
"I've given you my heart
but you've let me down."
Ah B...
"You're so heartless to break my heart.
When the temple bells ring..."
"On a cold and silent night,
my sorrowful tears flow freely."
Don't hurt us!
Stop!
Young Master, listen to me.
We mean no harm.
We mean no harm, listen to me.
Young Master, listen to me.
We mean no harm.
We really mean no harm.
Young Master, listen to me...
The whirling slash!
- Miss, I'm scared! Help me!
- Gigi! Does it hurt?
- Is it painful?
- I don't seem to feel the pain.
- You don't feel painful?
- You're right.
This talisman is not written with
vermilion. It's not effective at all.
I was so terrified...
Burn her to death...
Don't be angry! They're just ignorant.
Please let them go...
Black dog's blood...
Hurry up...
- Gigi, how are you?
- Miss, I'm doomed...
So black chicken's blood
is as effective as black dog's blood.
What? Black chicken's blood?
- How are you?
- Black chicken's blood?
How could I find black dog's blood
within half an hour?
"I'm tormented by love..."
"The flowers and the moon
remind me of my lost love."
"But alas, it's all in vain. The flowers
and the moon witness my sorrow..."
"How could you break your promise to me?"
Open the door...
Run!
Hurry up!
Carmen is still inside.
Let's go in to rescue her.
What? Go in again?
- I'll go in myself if you don't want to.
- Alright...
Ben is in the room!
- Are you alright?
- I'm fine.
- We're going in to rescue Carmen.
- Okay.
- Let's go.
- Calm down!
Carmen!
Darling, everything's fine now...
Everything's fine now...
Stop hugging, let's get out of here first.
What makes you think
you can get out of here?
Don't be afraid,
we've already subdued the two ghosts.
Ah Ben!
Run...
- Open the door! Hurry up!
- I can't open it. Let's go upstairs.
Hurry up!
Close the door!
You're both here? Let's not go anywhere.
Let's stay here till dawn.
- Okay...
- Let's get something to barricade the door.
Please help to push the desk
against the door.
Sure!
- Why did you hammer so many nails?
- You told me to do that.
- You don't have to hammer them so tightly.
- Hurry up!
Ching, wait for me! Don't leave me behind!
The balcony...
Close the door...
- Ching, please don't leave me behind...
- I won't...
Carmen! Be careful! Come down...
How dare you try to pour
black dog's blood on me?
No... it was only chicken's blood.
- Look, you're perfectly fine...
- Go to hell!
Faeces...
- I think it's safe to go out now.
- Are you sure?
I'm terrified!
It's safe now. Let's go...
Let me go...
I think it should be safe here...
Really?
Help! Let me out! Help! Let me go!
I promise I won't do it again.
Let me go! Help!
Help!
- Can someone help get me down! Help!
- Hey!
Stop moving around.
I'm coming to rescue you!
Hsiung, please help me down! Help!
I'm coming...
Be careful!
Hsiung, you've died tragically...
Help!
- Are you alright?
- You're still alive?
Yes, and you're still alive too.
- What about the two of them?
- I don't know.
Faeces...
Faeces...
- Why did you hide in the cesspool?
- No...
- Help me...
- He's possessed!
Hit him...
- What's wrong?
- You really stink!
Stop hitting me...
- What happened?
- It's me, I'm not possessed.
Carmen!
Ah B!
- She's possessed! Hit her...
- Hold on...
What are you guys doing?
What is that stench? It really stinks!
She really is Carmen.
- Let's get out of here now.
- Let's go...
They mean no harm...
I'll fight it out with you!
Grandpa?
My grandpa is really powerful!
Ching...
- Hurry up, he's coming...
- Here...
- Okay, it'd be done in a minute.
- Hurry up! Get the hairdryer...
I'll bring you the hairdryer in a minute.
Let me help comb
the hair at the back first.
The hair at the back! Hurry up...
You look beautiful!
- Shui Tsai!
- Chiu Wei!
- Great!
- We can pack up now.
- Okay, pack up...
Carmen, you can take a look at the film
at 2.00pm tomorrow.
I've made an appointment with the editor.
He'll edit the film once you approve it.
Okay.
- Carmen, it's finished?
- Yes.
You are really efficient!
I don't know how long I can tolerate
this kind of boss.
He's such a lecher.
He is always taking advantage of you.
That's why you got promoted so soon.
Excuse me, get out of my way.
Such sarcastic remarks alone
are already troublesome to deal with.
Even if you're competent,
people would still doubt your ability.
- That's true...
- Ah Su, line four.
Okay, thank you.
"Newman Construction Company"
- Hello?
- Newman Construction Company?
Yes, how can I help you?
- What's wrong with your construction?
- What do you mean?
The completion of your Jones Building
was previously delayed for three months.
Now it's being delayed again?
When exactly
can it be ready for me to move in?
I've to pay the instalment
for the new house...
and the rent
for my rental flat at the same time.
It's a huge strain on my finances.
Miss...
My rental flat will be repossessed
at the end of the month.
Where can I move to then? Your house?
I need the house for my marriage.
- Building a house is different...
- Yes I know,
it's different from a jigsaw puzzle.
The weather conditions
will affect the schedule...
there have been many storms
for the past months.
You made these same excuses last time!
And you said the contract
stated that I can't sue you.
I'm glad you know that.
How dare you hang up on me!
- What audacity! How dare he hang up on me!
- Scumbag! How dare you hang up on me...
- Hello?
- Scumbag, how dare you hang up on me!
Only I can hang up on you!
This is outrageous...
- Hello?
- Hello? Newsman Construction Company?
- Yes.
- Scum! Only I can hang up on you!
- What's wrong?
- I'm still fuming even after scolding him.
Did you tell him which flat you bought?
Of course not, I don't want to end up
with a flat with no toilet.
You guys go after him,
I'll go the other way.
Mr Chung, please give us some exam tips.
- We are begging you, Mr Chung...
- I can't do that.
- Please...
- I didn't set the exam paper.
Sorry, I don't have any tips...
- We are begging you, Mr Chung...
- Okay, stop begging.
I don't have any tips,
but pay attention to chapter four.
Chapter four...
- Any other tips, Mr Chung?
- No!
I'll be at home
during the summer vacation...
Come and find me if you have any questions.
Boss, this looks good!
Mr Chung, is it to your liking?
I can give you a discount.
I think I'll pass,
my house is full of them.
My wife will scold me if I buy another one.
Really?
I'll reserve something good
for you next time the.
Great.
- How much for this mahjong set, Boss?
- Five hundred dollars.
- Five hundred dollars?
- This has a history of over eighty years.
I'll take it then!
Chung Chu Hsiung...
Cherie Chung? She's a famous film star!
Is she here?
- Where is she?
- Chung Chu Hsiung...
- Chung Chu Hsiung...
- I'm coming, stop shouting!
What? A man named
Chung Chu Hsiung? What a disgrace!
I told you guys
not to call my name in public.
But your name is Chung Chu Hsiung.
Just drive!
- It's so crowded in here.
- I told you to buy a bigger car.
- Let's determine our positions.
- I'll choose my own position...
My master said that my fortune star
is in the East today.
This is the East.
I'll sit facing the East. Go away.
- Number four, the East player starts first.
- East is my lucky number.
I'll triumph over all of you today.
I'm going to be rich!
Well, he's rich even if he doesn't
triumph over us in mahjong.
The Australian dollar
has been on the rise recently.
Yes.
The world is so unfair.
He doesn't need to work, he becomes richer
just by trading foreign currencies.
We work day and night like a dog
and yet we are still poor.
So the poor are getting poorer
while the rich are getting richer.
That's not true!
My grandfather doesn't give me
a lot of money each month, only...
Character nine tile!
(Ninety thousand dollars)
What? You're not satisfied with
ninety thousand dollars?
Character nine, are you going to take it?
- Come on, take it!
- If you don't want it, just draw your tile.
My grandfather is filthy rich.
He has a lot of money, but he's a miser.
- Let's continue with the game.
- But it's okay...
his days are numbered...
and I am his only heir,
so when he is dead...
Shame on you!
You're such an unfilial grandson!
Keep quiet!
- Hello?
- Can I speak to Chen Wen please?
Wrong number.
What a scare!
I thought my wife was checking on me.
You're yielding to her now.
You're going to suffer
when you get married two months later.
No, we've cohabited for a long time...
it's almost the same
as if we're already married.
- Thank you.
- No, I should thank you instead.
Five doubles.
How did you get five doubles?
Double East wind. I've already
said that East is my lucky number.
The North round is just over.
Let's calculate the scores...
It's a draw! What a coincidence!
Keep quiet! Keep quiet, shut up...
Carmen, you told me that you were going
to dine with clients tonight...
that's why I...
Ah B, I think we have to delay our wedding.
Carmen, you want to cancel the wedding
just because he plays mahjong?
Isn't that too serious?
At most I'll give up mahjong.
What are you talking about?
You said that
you want to cancel the wedding!
Our new house won't be ready
until three months later.
And this flat has to be repossessed
at the end of this month.
Where are we going to live?
How can we get married
without a place to stay?
I thought it was something serious,
so you're just looking for a place to stay?
You're lucky to have me as your friend.
My grandfather
has a house in New Territories.
He used it to keep his mistress.
But it has been vacant for a long time.
You can move in there
for two or three months.
Is it fit for occupation?
Although it's a bit old,
it has been properly maintained.
And it has water and electricity too.
That sounds good. How much is the rent?
That'll depend on his luck.
If he is lucky,
he doesn't need to pay a single cent.
And he can even get an allowance.
- What do you mean?
- His fate is on the mahjong table.
- Come on...
- Hurry up...
Let's continue with East round
and I'm the banker.
Please pay up for the five doubles first.
You said that the round was over
and it was a draw.
That's right, let's start all over again...
- You guys are so sly!
- We're not as sly as you...
- Where is your apple?
- Apple?
Bringing an apple to a new house
will ensure your peace and safety.
But I've already finished the apple.
Will an apple core work too?
Perhaps...
Luckily I kept this in support of
the "Keep Hong Kong Clean Campaign."
Otherwise I wouldn't even have this.
You never listen to my advice.
- It's such an old building.
- Don't worry, it's clean and tidy inside.
- Look...
- Boss, where shall we put the things?
Just move them inside.
- Be careful not to scratch the floor.
- Okay...
Look, I like this clock very much.
- You've always liked antique clocks.
- Is it nice?
Where should we put the sofa?
Just put the sofa here.
We can place the television here.
Let's go inside to see the bedroom.
She is...
She is Ching's step-grandmother.
With big, listless eyes and a hefty bosom,
she has the typical look of a seductress.
How could you say that?
We're going to live in her house.
Well, she looks quite beautiful.
Of course, otherwise how would
she be able to seduce another's husband...
into keeping her as a mistress
in such a big house?
- You women are so mean...
- What?
This house seems okay,
although it's a bit old.
What are you doing?
- Hey, these are my valuables! Be careful...
- You should carry them in one by one...
Boss, we've worked hard since the morning
and we haven't had a drop of water.
You should tip us some money to buy drinks.
You're asking for a tip when
you've only worked for a short while?
Let's continue working, I'm sure
the boss will reward us appropriately...
isn't that right, boss?
Come on, let's continue.
Darling, this is already the thirtieth pot.
Enough...
- I'm going to boil the water for my bath.
- Go ahead.
Take your time.
I'd better finish my bath quickly...
What happened?
Goddess on a lotus?
Are you okay?
I've finished my bath. Now it's your turn.
Half a pot of water will be enough for me.
Hey, you...
Miss... she's the one
who called you a seductress.
She said that you have big, listless eyes
and a hefty bosom!
I've always been accused
of being a seductress...
This is an interesting room.
It's very cooling here,
it's like an air-conditioned room.
She walks around the house
without wearing any pants.
I don't think she's a decent woman.
- I think she's a mistress herself.
- I agree.
A wicker bed?
She didn't even
say "sorry" or "excuse me."
You're right.
It's quite comfortable here.
All right, I'll sleep here tonight.
Follow me.
But Ching told us not to touch the things
upstairs. Those are his grandfather's gems.
Just take a look first.
- Wonderful!
- I knew you'd like this room.
This is made with
authentic blackwood and marble.
A set of furniture like this would cost
up to three hundred thousand dollars now.
That seductress had cheated
a lot of money from Ching's grandfather.
A set like this was
already very expensive back then.
Nonsense! These are all my dowry!
It's quite cool in here.
- That goes without saying.
- In fact, I feel a bit cold.
Let me give you some warmth then.
This is so embarrassing!
No man has slept on my bed for many years.
Now they're making a mess of my bed.
Miss, I'm going out first.
Where are you going? Come on!
So awkward.
Open your eyes...
Or open your mouth...
- Darling...
- Wife...
This is fun...
Darling, don't move...
I'm too exhausted to move anyway...
Disgusting!
Ah B, let's go now...
Run!
Miss, I haven't seen you laugh so happily
for a long time.
That's enough. If you continue spraying,
we'll die from poisoning.
Look, there's a huge crack here,
you don't know what's hiding inside.
Okay, I'll mend it tomorrow.
Let's sleep now.
- What are we having today?
- Salad and steak.
There's no bottled gas delivery on Sunday.
Do you need me to start the fire?
No, I can handle it, it's just a barbecue.
What's that?
It's a large glass box.
- What does it contain?
- It's so heavy!
Let's go in and see what is happening.
How can you start a fire
with such big pieces of wood?
Lend her a hand.
She's so skilled in chopping wood.
I better not provoke her in the future.
Carmen, my antenna
has been caught in a tree.
Come and help me to get it down.
Who is shouting?
Can you hear that?
Carmen, hurry up...
That was fast.
Okay. Let me see
if I can receive the signal.
Done!
This is interesting!
It's so aromatic!
It smells good!
I thought we are having salad?
Why did you cook so many dishes?
Don't hug me,
it'd be bad if people see us.
Are you pretending to be shy?
Your face is so dirty.
Let me wipe it for you.
- No, I can do it myself.
- Come on, don't be shy.
Let me wipe it for you.
Done! I'll bring the dishes out now.
You told me that we're having salad.
This is so embarrassing...
What happened? Did I just finish cooking?
Miss...
- Don't block my view.
- Listen to me, he...
He hugged me tightly just now!
Really?
He even caressed...
he caressed my face!
Let me try the food.
He even brought the dishes out for me.
He's the first man
who's been so nice to me.
Stop staring at him. Look at this
glass box, it's more interesting.
- Miss, why are there so many people inside?
- It's interesting, isn't it?
What's this?
- You've already set up the television?
- It's a television!
The dishes are delicious!
Didn't you know
that your wife is a great cook?
Yes, you're great.
"Dad said that
you can take the baby with you."
"Of course he said that."
"The midwife said that
this baby might not live long."
"Don't blame us. I'll give you
some money as compensation."
"You can have all this furniture too
if you like."
Miss, her plight
is somewhat similar to yours.
Her plight is worse,
at least I don't have a baby.
You're right.
- "Pei, you..."
- "Son! Why is she still here?"
Women in the past were so stupid.
They allowed their men to flirt outside
and resigned themselves to fate.
They were pure and innocent.
Actually they were very adorable.
They were obedient, loyal, hardworking,
and they never complained.
Exactly! That's why
you men could keep concubines...
find mistresses, fool around,
and make women miserable.
- Not every man is like that.
- I disagree.
Well, it takes two to tango. Some
women are willing to become concubines...
or are willing to be kept as mistresses.
- These women are really brainless.
- Miss, she said that you're brainless.
The social system
was like that in the past.
Well, those women were useless.
If my husband
wanted to keep a concubine...
I'd castrate him
and divorce him immediately.
That's the problem with you modern women.
You want a divorce if any problems occur.
In the past, only the husband
could repudiate his wife.
Of course, women had to depend
on their husbands in the past.
And she had a maid to serve her
all the time.
Once she was divorced, without her husband
to support her, how could she live?
- She might as well eat faeces.
- Miss, she told you to eat faeces.
Eat it!
What's wrong?
Perhaps I've strained my muscles,
that's why I'm having muscle cramps now.
Really?
Why can't I pick it up?
Let me help you.
Miss, you're great.
Let me wash the bowls. You wipe the table.
Let me wash the bowls instead.
You wipe the table.
Let me take a few photos of Ah B.
- They are going to take photos.
- Yes.
- Ah B, let me take a photo for you.
- Why?
Look here.
- Oh, it has a flash!
- One more.
Can it work?
It's fully automatic,
I just press this button.
Press this button...
Smile!
Ah B!
Monster!
Gigi, I want to continue watching.
Do something...
Okay... I know what to do!
You are very sleepy now...
You want to sleep now...
don't read anymore...
- Miss, it works! We can continue watching.
- Really? Let's continue watching.
Great!
This is so scary!
Is plagiarism the trend now?
We spent thirty minutes
talking about ball games and exercises...
Why are you so listless?
I'm totally exhausted
after two days of house moving.
What about your proposal?
The audience are not stupid.
Can you call this a commercial?
It's totally rubbish! Now...
- What should we do now?
- We just take things as they come.
Look at how the client rambles on and on,
I won't need to say anything today.
I don't think you have any good ideas.
Don't waste my time anymore.
Mr Yang, can you give us ten more minutes?
Two of my top producers
can offer you better ideas.
All right, I'll give you ten more minutes.
Any suggestions?
My concept is to feature
a female astronaut in the commercial.
The commercial would emphasise
the innovative design...
of the Suprex sanitary napkin.
And highlight its lightness and thinness,
its ability to prevent leakage...
and its high absorbency.
You'd feel superb and carefree
like an astronaut...
walking in space after using Suprex.
The astronaut will be wearing
a tight-fitting spacesuit...
to stress the ultra-thinness of Suprex.
A load of rubbish!
I've said that
I want to reach out to the masses...
but you propose to feature
a female astronaut in the commercial?
Let me ask you, how many
female astronauts are there in the world?
There's no rapport
with the audience at all.
Carmen...
what about your design?
I have in mind
an unconventional approach...
which is to get a man to do
this sanitary napkin commercial.
What?
Good idea. Go on.
I... well, for this commercial, I've to...
I've to give it more thought
since it's such an unusual idea.
Miss Li, please let me have your design
as soon as possible.
- I've to go now.
- Goodbye, Mr Yang.
- Carmen.
- Yes?
We'll be counting on you this time.
What are you going to do now?
I've to come up with something
because I'm the one who proposed that.
Su, you have a call
from your husband again.
Tell him to go to hell.
Tell him that I'm going out with a man.
- What is going on between the two of you?
- Nothing. Don't talk about him anymore.
The gender roles have been reversed now.
The woman goes out to work
while the man does the household chores.
Miss, I think he might be her gigolo.
You're right.
Who are you looking for?
I'm the electrician from Shun Chi
whom you called this morning.
Shun Chi? But he looks like a thug.
Do you have any form of identification?
We're a small shop,
we don't have such documents.
How do I know your identity then,
big brother?
I'm no longer a big brother, I've quit
the secret society and gotten a decent job.
Why are you denying me the chance
to turn over a new leaf?
Give me a chance, I beg you...
- Please believe me!
- Okay... I believe you.
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey, I'm sorry...
although you want to turn over a new leaf,
you still look fierce and menacing.
Come on in.
What is this?
Gigi, am I beautiful?
It's a cute outfit!
But it's torn at the back.
Really?
You're right.
Hold on for a second.
- Miss, let me take a photo for you.
- Sure.
What is this?
"White Cement"
Even the electricity is cut off.
Ah B...
Darling.
Today is not my birthday.
So what's the celebration for?
It's to celebrate our official moving-in.
Everything's fixed now.
Really?
- It looks interesting.
- And you've prepared Japanese food too.
Look...
Darling, you're the best.
It's actually the money
that does the magic.
I've spent over a thousand dollars.
Well, we put our relationship before money.
Miss, I remember in the past,
when Master returned here...
the two of you were as passionate
as they are now.
I've painted a portrait of you,
so I won't miss you so dearly.
Gigi...
- Miss, are you alright?
- I'm fine.
Don't drink too much, you will get drunk.
I don't want...
What are you doing?
They might discover us.
Don't worry, I'll take the photograph
when there's lightning.
It's so fun!
- You can have this, you like it...
- No, you eat! You like it...
I can finally have a comfortable bath
after moving in for so many days.
Because today
is our official day for moving in.
So it's you! Come on in!
Who is she?
Each time you show up,
I have to sleep in the living room.
I hope I don't end up sleeping
on the streets next time.
- What happened this time?
- He hit me!
How dare he!
Look, I'm covered in bruises.
Men are all jerks!
You should hit him back.
I did, but I was no match for him,
so I ran off.
A man who hits a woman is a total jerk.
You should just divorce him.
How can she advise her
to divorce her husband?
Exactly.
You can't bear to leave him?
Just get it over with,
rather than prolonging it.
It'll be more troublesome
when you have children in the future.
It's your fault too, why did you rush
into a marriage at such a young age?
Well, you should divorce him
while you're still young.
It's hard to find a new partner
when you are old. Don't hesitate anymore.
Just divorce him.
Listen to me...
Actually divorce isn't the best way
to solve problems.
A couple should try to tolerate each other
and live harmoniously together.
Any misunderstanding should be
cleared up calmly and peacefully...
not through quarrelling or violence.
Harmony in the family
leads to happiness and prosperity.
Men are always more careless and clumsy.
Just forgive him!
What you said sounds
reasonable and sensible.
Of course!
Don't be swayed by the drivel of others.
Divorce shouldn't be taken lightly.
Am I right?
Just follow my advice!
What did I say just now?
What you said was quite convincing.
I feel much better now.
- Let's go back upstairs.
- Okay.
Oh no! My eyes are swollen from crying.
How can I go back to the office tomorrow?
Well, you brought this upon yourself.
Don't worry,
let me apply a facial mask for you
and you'll be beautiful tomorrow.
Anyway, I want one for myself too.
Hey, Ah B...
Wake up!
It's me!
Carmen, you've almost scared me to death!
I'm doomed!
The facial powder
might have already expired...
the mask can't be removed now.
Stop laughing!
Sue is facing the same problem.
Come in and help us.
What am I supposed to do?
You have to break the mask for us! Come on!
My face really hurts!
Okay, let me break it for you.
Just hammer it lightly!
I can't break it if I hammer it lightly.
Stay still and don't move!
- It's your turn now.
- Please be more gentle...
- It hurts! Please be more gentle...
- Don't move...
Who could it be at this hour?
If it's my husband, don't let him come in
and see me in this state.
- Okay.
- Just lie down.
- Who is it?
- I'm Sam!
He can find his way here...
Carmen...
I thought Sue said
she was no match for you?
- Can I come in?
- Come on in.
Thank you. Is Sue here?
Well, she always comes to my place
when the two of you have a fight.
Why are you so late this time?
I asked a lot of people
before finding out that you'd moved here.
Come on in.
- Where's Sue?
- She's in the room with my husband.
In the room? Why?
Knocking something.
- What? Knocking something?
- Right.
You've the nerve to tell me that...
your husband is knocking something
with my wife inside?
Yes, he already did it for me,
so it's your wife's turn.
That's between the two of you.
But how could he do it for my wife too?
Well, if you'd come earlier,
I could have let you do it for me too.
Your wife told me not to let you in
to see her in such a state.
Of course she doesn't want me
to see her in bed with another guy!
- Get out of my way!
- Please be more gentle...
Don't be so impulsive. Just wait for
a while more. It'll be over soon.
If you go in now,
you'll embarrass everyone.
Get out of my way, or I'll knock your head!
Scum, how dare you!
Why are you in bed with my wife?
Oh, you're here?
Now you can do it for her.
Scumbag, why did you come in?
- Sue, listen to me first, I...
- Get out...
Sue, I'm sorry!
I couldn't stop him from coming in.
- Don't be angry, Sue...
- Scum,
I told you to stay away yet you barged in.
Scumbag, go to hell...
She told me
you two were knocking something...
So I thought...
What do you think I'm doing?
I'll kill you.
- Sue, don't do this...
- Scumbag...
- How dare you...
- Listen to me...
Why is it so noisy?
- She's hitting him...
- She's hitting him hard...
Stop right there!
Miss Li...
- Don't worry. I'll settle this, Mr Yang.
- Miss Li...
I'm not trying to
make things difficult for you.
I like the concept
of your commercial very much.
I care very much for this commercial...
that's why I need
someone special for the job.
If the candidate is unsuitable...
the commercial would not turn out well,
you'd not like it too.
- He's right!
- That's right.
Sorry, Mr Yang.
I was too impulsive just now.
But I really have no idea
what kind of man you have in mind.
We've recommended two hundred men to you
but you couldn't find anyone suitable.
You didn't like any of the candidates
you saw today either.
- Sue!
- Sue...
- Yes?
- Get more photographs
to let Mr Yang select.
He's the perfect choice!
Why bother searching anymore?
This one? He won't do it.
Well, he's your friend,
he won't turn you down. Am I right?
Yes...
- But he's very expensive to hire.
- How much?
- His rate is thirty thousand dollars a day.
- I'm willing to pay.
- Don't bother searching anymore.
- He won't do it...
He can do it...
"Supernatural Power"
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
You guys scared
the living daylights out of me.
What were you mumbling?
What mumbling? I was trying to use
my psychic powers to move this cup.
Psychic powers? You have psychic powers?
According to the book, everyone has.
It depends on whether
you know how to use it.
- According to the book?
- How do we use it?
The book says that you've to concentrate
and stare at the object...
then you've to use your will power
to obtain your desired outcome.
Why were you mumbling then?
It's actually an incantation
to help you to concentrate.
How do you say it?
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
My power alone might not be strong enough.
Let's try doing it together.
Okay... let's try it...
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What's so fun about this?
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- They are so noisy! Gigi, do something!
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- We did it!
- We're like supermen!
- Let's try it on something heavy.
- Okay...
- How about the television?
- Let's try the table!
Great...
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
Carmen...
You guys are here.
Why is there a broken cup here?
- Let's get Carmen to join us!
- Okay...
No...
Let's try if we can use our power
to control a human being.
- Good idea!
- No way...
- You have to serve her all the time...
- Let's see what they are up to.
- Let her serve us for a change!
- No...
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What are you guys talking about?
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
- What are you guys trying to do?
- "Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
"Li-Ma-La-La-Ba-Ba-Cha..."
Why are you all standing there?
Come in and have a seat.
Come on, don't be shy.
Come in and have a seat.
Please make yourselves comfortable.
Let me get something to serve you.
We did it...
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
- Come and eat something.
- Let's dig in...
Rascal, let me help you. You want this?
Thank you.
- How about you?
- I want a soft drink.
- I want beer...
- Please hold on.
- Thank you.
- There you go.
Cheers...
Let me propose a toast to you guys.
I'll drink first to show my sincerity.
What's your name, sir?
What? You don't know that
his name is Wu Kuo Ching?
So your surname is Wu?
I feel a sense of attachment
to people with the surname Wu.
Little Moustache,
why do you keep staring at me?
- I didn't...
- I don't care.
You've to finish this can of beer.
Fatty, you're the most well-behaved.
Let me reward you with some fruits.
- The three of you come out with me now!
- Okay...
Tell me, what was on your mind when
we were chanting the incantation just now?
Don't be mistaken...
I was just hoping that Carmen would
treat us to dinner tonight.
I didn't lust after her.
But I don't know
if they had any lustful thoughts.
Don't accuse us!
We really didn't lust after her!
Don't be mistaken!
We won't joke around with such matters,
don't be mistaken!
Are you sure
you don't have any lustful thoughts?
Of course not!
You better be telling the truth,
otherwise we'd no longer be friends.
Miss, this is getting out of hand,
stop messing around with them.
Let's go.
Carmen, we are leaving now.
- Yes, we are leaving.
- Bye.
You guys are leaving
when I've just returned?
Why don't you guys stay for dinner tonight?
No, thanks. Bye.
Bye.
Why are your friends behaving so strangely?
Can you try to say the word,
"rascal" again?
What rascal?
I'm not as flirtatious as you.
Come in, I've found
a summer vacation job for you.
- What kind of job?
- To star in a commercial.
Why me?
The client insisted that you're the perfect
candidate after seeing your photograph.
Now you know how important your husband is.
But what kind of commercial is it?
I won't do it
if it involves sex or violence.
Well, it's a new...
instant noodles commercial.
They pay a handsome remuneration
of ten thousand dollars a day.
Wow, it's a deal then. Rascal!
Mr Chen, a level eight typhoon is coming
and you're still going out?
If I don't make this trip, I'd have
a level ten typhoon right in my house.
Why is that?
I forgot to buy Suprex
for my wife just now.
She's now flying into a rage inside!
Don't worry, I've just bought
several packs of Suprex.
Here, you can have one to pacify your wife.
Thank you so much!
I can have a good night's sleep tonight.
Good, okay!
How was my performance?
- You're just like a professional actor.
- Really?
- Would I look handsome on screen?
- Of course!
Whenever a storm hits,
a woman would feel uneasy and perturbed.
In order to pacify her...
I'll always have several packs of Suprex
ready at home in case of emergency.
Hubby, I forgot to remind you
to buy Suprex.
Okay!
- Hey, is the filming done?
- Yes, you can leave now.
What about you?
I still need to film some close-up shots
of the product. It'll take quite a while.
- Do come back earlier. Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye!
You're not going to tell him the truth?
I'll take it one step at a time.
Let's get back to work.
It's a close-up shot.
Gigi...
- Yes, Miss?
- Where have you been? Why is it so noisy?
I was watching them
playing mahjong downstairs!
Playing mahjong? I haven't played it
for many years! Let's go!
Do you want this tile?
Sorry, all of a kind!
You've to pay all my winnings.
- I'm the only one to pay again?
- Why are you so lousy?
Luckily I don't have to pay anything.
Serves you right for discarding
such an obvious tile to let him win.
That's right,
you shouldn't have discarded this tile.
I've almost lost all my money.
Don't worry.
The remuneration that you got from
your commercial can cover your losses.
If I keep losing like this,
I might lose more than what I've earned.
So when can we see you on television?
Carmen said that the first airing
will be on next Monday at 8.00pm.
I haven't seen it too. Remember to watch it
and see if I look like a movie star.
Right now I just want to see
if you still have any cash left.
- Go away!
- Why are you so cocky?
All right, let me play for a while.
What round is it now?
It's the West round and I'm the banker.
Have you gone crazy after losing so much?
Well, we'll see who will go crazy later.
I won't worry
since you're such a lousy player...
When I learned how to play mahjong,
I bet your dad wasn't even born yet.
Gigi, isn't that right?
Who are you talking to?
Red tile.
Pung! Why are you playing so fast?
Yes, why are you playing so fast?
It's fun!
Five doubles!
Oh, six doubles!
Seven doubles!
- All triplets, all of a kind!
- Great!
Oh, Big Three Dragons!
Big Four Winds!
- Oh, game!
- Terrific!
Four triplets and self-pick win.
Ching, you've to pay all my winnings.
I'm really down on my luck today.
If I continue losing like this,
I'll be doomed unless my grandfather dies.
You lost a few rounds of mahjong
and you're cursing your grandfather.
You're so unfilial.
I'm not cursing him.
I received a call
from Australia two days ago...
that he was in critical condition
in the hospital.
Are you going to inherit a huge fortune
from your grandfather?
Well, not really, but this house alone
should fetch around three million dollars.
This is your grandfather's house?
When did he buy it?
I told you before, he bought this house
to keep his mistress when he was young.
What's your grandfather's name?
I rolled an eleven.
Didn't I tell you that before?
His name is Wu Tsui Tsai!
It's Wu Shui Tsai!
Is the name of your grandmother
Ho Fei Feng?
Is her name Ho Fei Feng?
You remember my grandmother's name?
She was not a mistress.
She was a very popular songstress then.
However, she gave up her career
to be together with your grandfather.
Songstress? They were not
the same as today's singers.
Back then, a songstress
was also known as a prostitute.
How do you know all this?
You told me before.
It's your turn! Hurry up and play!
Master... how's your grandfather now?
I've already said that
he's in a critical condition in Australia.
- Why didn't you go and visit him?
- I can do anything even if I visit him...
Even if...
Carmen's back. It's time to stop.
Don't bother about her. Carry on speaking.
It's boring to just continue speaking.
It's more fun to continue playing.
Hsiung, you're taking charge again?
- Carry on speaking...
- Carmen...
Take your time to play.
Why are you asking about him?
You're not getting his inheritance.
I've won the last round, three doubles!
Darn it! I want my change back.
I will give you your change,
don't be so fierce...
I demand a rematch to recover my losses...
I've no objection.
It all depends on Hsiung.
Let's continue playing.
And you carry on talking too.
Oh, that's different then.
Excuse me, let me go to the toilet first.
What are you looking at?
Hey, I'm really hungry.
Since Carmen is back,
tell her to cook something for us.
- What? Carmen is back?
- You said not to bother about her.
- Crazy, we have to stop playing now.
- I thought you're no longer henpecked.
- Miss, what did he say to you?
- Nothing...
Hey, stop playing and clear the table.
He's not interested
after going to the toilet.
- They're leaving now...
- Get up...
- Let's help to pack the mahjong tiles.
- No need, I'll do it.
- Let's leave now...
- Where is my spectacle?
- Don't leave yet...
- Where are my spectacles?
Miss, did you manage
to get any information?
No.
Let me take a photograph of myself
on television to show my foreign friends.
There's no more film.
Let me get a new roll of film.
You're back!
I'm having noodles.
Shall I cook a bowl for you?
I've come back specially
to dine out with you.
Better not, I want to watch
my premiere performance on television.
Well, you can watch it in the future.
I don't feel like having instant noodles.
We can just watch it first before
going out, it's almost time anyway.
I went to buy instant noodles today,
but I couldn't find this brand.
The commercial is airing today,
why isn't it in stores yet?
Maybe it was sold out
in the store that you visited.
- All right, let's go now.
- Hold on, I still need to get changed.
Why don't you go and get changed now?
- What's the hurry?
- I'm really hungry.
It's on air now!
Mr Chen, a level eight typhoon is coming
and you're still going out?
That voice doing my voiceover
sounds so awkward.
If I don't make this trip, I'd have
a level ten typhoon right in my house.
Why is that?
I forgot to buy Suprex for my wife.
She's now flying into a rage inside!
Don't worry, I've just bought
several packs of Suprex.
Here, you can have one to pacify your wife.
Thank you so much!
I can have a good night's sleep tonight.
For a few days every month,
a woman would feel uneasy and perturbed.
In order to pacify her...
I'll always have several packs of Suprex
ready at home in case of emergency.
Hubby, I forgot to remind you
to buy Suprex.
Look at this...
"Suprex"
Buy Suprex for your most beloved woman
and she'll love you even more.
Suprex Sanitary Napkin is
highly absorbent...
and is specially designed
to prevent leakage.
With Suprex Sanitary Napkin,
you can have peace of mind all year round.
Hsiung... no,
Mr Suprex, I have to hand it to you!
- You!
- Go ahead and scold me, I'm ready for this.
You... you stinky...
We're both civilised people.
So please watch your language.
- What did you want to say?
- You stinky bean curd!
How dare you betray me!
You must have watched too many triad films.
How can you accuse me of betraying you?
We're not from the triads.
At most you can only accuse me of lying.
I'm glad you understand that.
You know that I hate liars.
Why didn't you tell me the truth?
That's right, a couple
should be truthful with each other.
Mr Chung, I have a sanitary napkin
commercial for you to star in.
Would you care to do it?
Sanitary napkin? What is that?
- Are you crazy? Of course not!
- Precisely!
The client insisted on starring you
in the commercial.
If I didn't lie to you...
you would have refused
to do it and I could get fired anytime.
Now I'm the one
who could get fired anytime!
I'm a teacher, not a sexologist!
How am I going to face other people?
Did I trick you to become a gigolo?
It's only a commercial,
what's so embarrassing about that?
Is there a rule that states that
a university lecturer...
cannot star in a commercial?
No!
But you shouldn't have made me
do a sanitary napkin commercial!
I get it! It's a female napkin!
What age are we in now? Why should you care
whether it's a female or male product?
It's just a piece of merchandise!
- Merchandise?
- Isn't it?
Now the commercial is already on air.
What do you want to do?
- I want to hit someone!
- What is he going to do?
They've never had such a huge
quarrel before. What's going on?
Didn't you hear that just now?
He accused her of lying to him
about his auntie's napkin!
No matter what the reason is, it's not
right for a couple to lie to each other.
That's true. Just like when Master said
he would come back to you.
But he didn't keep his promise.
No way, he would never lie to me.
He must have his reason
for not coming back.
Master would never lie to me!
Why did I say such a thing to upset her...
- Mr Chung, good morning!
- Good morning.
Mr Chung, my wife feels really perturbed
when she has her period.
After she saw your commercial...
she said that
if I want her to love me even more...
I should buy some Suprex for her.
If I buy them from you,
can you give me a discount?
I really can't stand that
Suprex commercial...
Have a seat...
Good morning, Mr Suprex.
Did Carmen sleep well last night?
What's so funny?
Hsiung, you did a sanitary napkin
commercial this time...
next time you might do a bra commercial!
Why are you guys so obsolete in thinking?
Why bother with
what the commercial is about?
It's the money that counts!
How much can you get
for this kind of commercial?
Well, I was paid
a hundred thousand dollars.
So why would I reject it?
- So much money?
- It's worth doing it then.
If such an opportunity arises again,
please tell Carmen to recommend me for it.
I don't mind wearing it even!
- Help me to take a photo with the big star.
- Okay.
Stop it...
What's up with this?
There's a death in his family.
- My grandfather has died.
- My condolences.
- He's actually very happy about that.
- Hey, I'm not that unfilial.
Hsiung, I need to return to the house
in the afternoon...
to find a place
to put my grandfather's altar and ashes.
In his will, he stated that
the house cannot be sold.
He wanted to be buried there.
I have to return to school in
the afternoon, you'll have to do it alone.
- Okay, let's have some tea.
- By the way...
Here's the feng shui compass
that I borrowed from you last time.
Look, isn't that the man
in the Suprex commercial last night?
- Yes, he's quite handsome!
- Yes, Suprex...
- Mr Suprex, having breakfast so early?
- Yes...
Hey, let's go now! This is so embarrassing!
Where can I go
to have my photos developed?
Let me help you.
I don't want to attract
so much attention...
But we've not eaten anything yet!
Actually you shouldn't feel ashamed,
you should feel proud instead.
I don't get such a chance to be famous.
- Just eat your food!
- Have some tea!
Miss, are we really going to
go search for Master?
But we don't even know where Australia is.
Let's go out to find out.
I guess it must be near
Cheung Chau or Peng Chau.
But we've not stepped out of this house
for many years, I'm afraid...
If you're afraid, don't come along then!
No,
I'm afraid you might not stand the ordeal.
Miss, let me go downstairs to see
if anything needs packing.
Gigi, have we forgotten anything?
I thought I heard some noises,
but why can't I see anyone?
I was almost scared out of my wits.
Ching?
- Someone is back!
- Why are you so excited?
Because Ching is back!
- Ching?
- Your half grandson!
Why is it so windy?
Old things tend to spoil easily.
- Ching!
- Mummy!
- Don't be afraid...
- A ghost...
Let me go! Let me go!
Gigi, let him go. You might scare him.
- Young Master.
- Another ghost!
Mummy...
I'm not your mother,
I'm your step-grandmother.
Keep away from me!
I'm the only heir in the family.
If anything happens to me,
my grandmother won't let you off.
Don't be silly. Look at me,
do I look like a bad person?
Of course you are!
You seduced a married man!
That's not true!
It was your grandfather who wooed her!
Is it a sin to love someone?
Trying to run?
Don't be afraid, I just want to ask you
something about your grandfather.
My grandfather? I know nothing about him.
If you have any questions,
you can ask my grandmother.
She is here and she's right behind you!
Forget it...
He's too frightened
and he's biased against me.
I don't think
we can get anything out of him.
Excuse me.
They are not married yet
but they can live together.
However, they are avoiding each other.
I could only get to see Master
two or three times a month...
and we had to be secretive about it.
They don't know how fortunate they are.
Miss, it's not his fault.
It's the fault of that woman.
She lied to him,
yet she is unapologetic about it.
You're right, a woman should know
her position in a relationship.
She should always obey the man.
But I don't think that woman would do that.
Miss, why don't you help them?
All right,
it pains me to see them like that.
Go...
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you.
I should have obtained your consent first
before doing anything.
I hope that you can forgive me.
So you admit your mistake?
Come, let me help you to get up.
Don't be afraid, go on...
- Let's not quarrel anymore in the future.
- Okay.
Shui Tsai!
Shui Tsai!
Shui Tsai...
Tramp!
What happened? Why did he hit her?
Miss, you uttered Master's name
when you were too excited just now.
- Oh no!
- Tramp!
Hey, that's enough! You came in to slap me
and undress me when I was asleep.
- Are you a man?
- I'm not a man if I don't slap you!
I thought you lied to me
about one thing only...
but I'm wrong! You're so shameless!
What do you mean?
What are you trying to say?
I want to use foul language to scold you!
Are you out of your mind?
Miss, you were supposed to help them,
you shouldn't inject your
own feelings into it.
You're right, but perhaps
I was too absorbed in it.
Why are you here alone? Where's Carmen?
- I'll be alone from now on.
- What happened to Carmen?
She cuckolded me.
That's impossible,
she's not that kind of woman.
- Did you see it with your own eyes?
- No, but I heard it with my own ears.
She uttered another man's name
when she was in bed with me...
Shui Tsai...
Carmen might have been possessed
by a ghost!
What are you guys talking about?
Female ghosts! Two of them!
- Hello!
- They are so gorgeous!
Hey, your photos have been developed.
Here you go.
Are you guys listening to me?
It's a matter of life and death!
Just say it.
You guys should know that Shui Tsai
is my grandfather's name.
Yes...
When I went to the house to set up
my grandfather's altar today...
I bumped into the spirits
of my step-grandmother and her maid!
- And they nearly killed me!
- Really?
Of course!
They pursued me to the living room
and slammed me to the ground...
and they even pushed me
from the second floor.
Why are you still alive then?
Because I was lucky and agile.
Otherwise...
Hey, look at these photos...
They are quite well-taken.
Look, these photos with me alone
were taken by Carmen.
And these photos with the both of us...
- Who took the photo for you?
- No, I'm sure we were alone then.
Look at this photo! Who is she?
It's that mistress! Ghost...
- Let me have a look.
- Ghost...
You're right! What should we do now?
Carmen is alone at home now!
- You've to go back and rescue her!
- How can I rescue her?
According to what you've said,
these two ghosts sound very powerful.
- Master, you've to subdue them personally.
- He's right.
I'm only an actor,
I don't have the ability to subdue them.
But your techniques in the movie
seem very powerful.
You might be able to scare them away
with those techniques.
- He's right...
- It's easier said than done.
- I really can't go and subdue them tonight.
- Why?
Because I need to go for filming tonight.
What should we do then?
Master, hold on! Master!
Well, Ching...
You've been my disciple for so many years,
so you should have mastered all my skills.
I'll promote you
to be an official priest tonight.
So you can handle this yourself.
He is the priest?
- Master, I'm officially a priest now?
- Yes!
I'd be mad
if I continued to be with such a man.
But you're the one who was at fault first.
I just wanted to clear
the misunderstanding between us.
But why is he accusing me of things
that I've never done?
And he came in to slap me
when I was asleep!
Well, he's not to be blamed for that.
Let me apologise to you...
Why are you speaking up for him?
Who are you...
- Who are you?
- I'm Ching's step-grandmother.
Ghost!
- Don't be afraid.
- Don't be afraid...
Help!
Help!
Don't be afraid!
Don't waste your breath.
Let me handle this.
Help! Help! Ghost!
Let me out!
Miss, you can take your time
to talk to her now.
Stay away from me...
Don't worry, we won't hurt you.
I think it's better for you
to keep a distance away from me.
I know that both of you
love each other deeply.
Why break up over such a small matter?
Well, he left me first.
He only did it on the spur of the moment.
You can reconcile with him
when he comes back.
How do I know when he will come back?
Won't I be stupid to wait for him
if he doesn't come back?
A couple should have trust in each other.
If you love him,
you must have confidence in him.
If you've chosen him,
you have to trust your choice.
Otherwise,
it's either you don't love him anymore.
Or you think that
you've made the wrong choice.
But how do I know how many days to wait?
How many days?
Do you know that my mistress waited
for Master to return for over fifty years?
Well, you have
too much confidence in men.
But I think you might have waited in vain.
No, Master promised me he would come back
no matter what happens.
I hope he would keep his promise.
He promised me that! He wouldn't lie to me!
Ghost...
Oh no, they've captured Carmen.
- We have to perform the rites now!
- I'll get the table.
Don't bother, we've no time to waste!
- Why did he slap me just now?
- You can ask me. I know what happened...
Tao...
Tao, Tao, Tao...
- What are you guys doing?
- Tao...
- Where?
- Right here! We'll perform the rites here!
Peach wood sword!
Maiden sword?
Don't worry, my Master has taught me
how to use this too.
"Maiden swordplay is strong and powerful,
I'm going to hurt you!"
"Hurt you..."
What are you guys doing?
They mean no harm.
Carmen, don't move!
We're here to rescue you!
Recite the spells!
Recite spells? What spells?
We don't know any spells!
Sing a song then.
Just sing a song to frighten them away.
What song should we sing?
That song we sang when we were students.
"Help! I need somebody, help!"
"Not just anybody, help!"
"You know I need someone, help!"
Stop!
Not this song, it's that Chinese song.
One, two, one, two, three, four...
"I'm tormented by love..."
"The flowers and the moon
remind me of my lost love."
"But alas, it's all in vain. The flowers
and the moon witness my sorrow..."
- "How could you break your promise to me?"
- Throw! Throw!
"I've given you my heart
but you've let me down."
Ah B...
"You're so heartless to break my heart.
When the temple bells ring..."
"On a cold and silent night,
my sorrowful tears flow freely."
Don't hurt us!
Stop!
Young Master, listen to me.
We mean no harm.
We mean no harm, listen to me.
Young Master, listen to me.
We mean no harm.
We really mean no harm.
Young Master, listen to me...
The whirling slash!
- Miss, I'm scared! Help me!
- Gigi! Does it hurt?
- Is it painful?
- I don't seem to feel the pain.
- You don't feel painful?
- You're right.
This talisman is not written with
vermilion. It's not effective at all.
I was so terrified...
Burn her to death...
Don't be angry! They're just ignorant.
Please let them go...
Black dog's blood...
Hurry up...
- Gigi, how are you?
- Miss, I'm doomed...
So black chicken's blood
is as effective as black dog's blood.
What? Black chicken's blood?
- How are you?
- Black chicken's blood?
How could I find black dog's blood
within half an hour?
"I'm tormented by love..."
"The flowers and the moon
remind me of my lost love."
"But alas, it's all in vain. The flowers
and the moon witness my sorrow..."
"How could you break your promise to me?"
Open the door...
Run!
Hurry up!
Carmen is still inside.
Let's go in to rescue her.
What? Go in again?
- I'll go in myself if you don't want to.
- Alright...
Ben is in the room!
- Are you alright?
- I'm fine.
- We're going in to rescue Carmen.
- Okay.
- Let's go.
- Calm down!
Carmen!
Darling, everything's fine now...
Everything's fine now...
Stop hugging, let's get out of here first.
What makes you think
you can get out of here?
Don't be afraid,
we've already subdued the two ghosts.
Ah Ben!
Run...
- Open the door! Hurry up!
- I can't open it. Let's go upstairs.
Hurry up!
Close the door!
You're both here? Let's not go anywhere.
Let's stay here till dawn.
- Okay...
- Let's get something to barricade the door.
Please help to push the desk
against the door.
Sure!
- Why did you hammer so many nails?
- You told me to do that.
- You don't have to hammer them so tightly.
- Hurry up!
Ching, wait for me! Don't leave me behind!
The balcony...
Close the door...
- Ching, please don't leave me behind...
- I won't...
Carmen! Be careful! Come down...
How dare you try to pour
black dog's blood on me?
No... it was only chicken's blood.
- Look, you're perfectly fine...
- Go to hell!
Faeces...
- I think it's safe to go out now.
- Are you sure?
I'm terrified!
It's safe now. Let's go...
Let me go...
I think it should be safe here...
Really?
Help! Let me out! Help! Let me go!
I promise I won't do it again.
Let me go! Help!
Help!
- Can someone help get me down! Help!
- Hey!
Stop moving around.
I'm coming to rescue you!
Hsiung, please help me down! Help!
I'm coming...
Be careful!
Hsiung, you've died tragically...
Help!
- Are you alright?
- You're still alive?
Yes, and you're still alive too.
- What about the two of them?
- I don't know.
Faeces...
Faeces...
- Why did you hide in the cesspool?
- No...
- Help me...
- He's possessed!
Hit him...
- What's wrong?
- You really stink!
Stop hitting me...
- What happened?
- It's me, I'm not possessed.
Carmen!
Ah B!
- She's possessed! Hit her...
- Hold on...
What are you guys doing?
What is that stench? It really stinks!
She really is Carmen.
- Let's get out of here now.
- Let's go...
They mean no harm...
I'll fight it out with you!
Grandpa?
My grandpa is really powerful!
Ching...
- Hurry up, he's coming...
- Here...
- Okay, it'd be done in a minute.
- Hurry up! Get the hairdryer...
I'll bring you the hairdryer in a minute.
Let me help comb
the hair at the back first.
The hair at the back! Hurry up...
You look beautiful!
- Shui Tsai!
- Chiu Wei!