Ji de... xiang jiao cheng shu shi (1993) - full transcript

20 years ago, Hung Kong went

though a really tumultuous time

The Star Ferry raised its fare by 5 cents

And it caused a riot; and it was massive

To me personally, it was the most

significant event in my life

The ferry's suspended its service, 8=amp

my Dad used that as an excuse

To spend the night in my future mum's place

So on the one hand the police were beating the shit

out of the demonstrators around the Star Ferry

Ina. I-m-u

Nine months later I was born

Granny said my Mum didn't have enough milk,

and asked my Dad to get me a wet nurse

He must be thinking he's

going to get a taste himself

Big busts He employed her

Time for lunch

I was a smart kid I knew everything

about sex since day one

For most babies, the 1st word they learn to

say is either Mama or Papa

I was a little different,

I had better penetration about such things

Titty

So when I was old enough to go to school

my Dad gave me

This Nom de Esme', Shing Bo (teats gazer)

Yeung Da Bo, your Mum's here to pick you up

Here's Mum

On their first day of school

most kids cried their eyes out

Well I didn't

I loved school, especially the teachers

It could be the teachers were

really too nice to me

Everybody g0 Play

“I. pail'

His name is Mo Shan Kuan

We met each other in kindergarten

A major cause of our great friendship

was that we liked different things

We never fought over toys

Thank God he liked Barbie

It would be a disaster if he liked Ken

We have another pal She's Tingting

and she live on the same block

We always treated her well Because, poor thing

She's a disabled person

Come line up And quit fouling around

Look She isn't got what we all got

Time flies

Before I knew it I was on the threshold of Life

On the morning of September 1, 1981

I saw, I saw so many things

Now get out of bed The holidays are over

you understand

She's my Mum

Yeung Kwan Pochiu She always

takes me for a kid

Mum, I'm getting out of bed

So get out of bed

Mum, I don't have any pants on

Big deal, so you don't have any pants on

I'm your Mum What do you got that

I am not ever seen before

lfl get out of bed right this minute

I may still make it

Dad should be still sleeping

My Dad-Yeung Chu-chang (hard-on)

He's a dubbing artist

He usually works at night

This is how he usually looks in the morning

You always have to use the bathroom

when I want to use it

She's my sister

My sister Laikau is only 11

But she's already acquired

a woman's characteristic

She just can't wait

Stop banging on the door You're

on the outside, you'll never understand

I have just experienced the most

dramatic moment of an adolescent

I now have the ability to be someone's father

People told me that when a man put his member

into a certain hollow area in the female anatomy

There'll be a baby

So the next time I see a woman's belly button

dimple or nostril

I should get a hold of myself

If not there'd be disaster

Kuan, come in and have some breakfast

That's what this stink told me

What's the hurry

The two of us and Tingting have

always been a threesome

Her Mum lives in China She tried to cross the

border a few times, but she never made it

Her Dad's a fireman and he has

to be on duty at odd hours

So he lets Tingting hang out with us

Frankly, I never considered Tingting a girl

But things began to change when I started From 1

my hormones have undergone a tremendous transformation

There's a hand of a ghost down there Stop

Next time I'll sew the button back on for you

Shall we go

It's a pity that she went to her uncle's

place for summer vacation

I got it, at lung last

I woke up this morning

What is it like

It's likeWas that thick

Come look, Bo's got it Come look

Bo's got it

You got it Did you dream about Miss Yu

Were you scared Did you call out for your Mom

Let's take off his pants and have a look

Comecume This is Teddy

He's been in Form 2 for three lung years

There's no sin being short

Still you don't want to be bullied around

You know my charges, right

$20 a month

I guarantee that from now on no one will bully you

You got a problem with it

Tingting

Tingting, where're your glasses

Boys Hi

The ugly duckling has really turned into a swan

Let me help you

This

I'm I'm going

This one's even more handsome

Hi I saw you attending our Astronomy Club meeting;

Nut that many girls are interested in astronomy

I like to look at the stars

They have such beautiful stories

Stars I've known Tingting since

she was eights months old,

I never knew she likes looking at stars

That's wonderful I have a telescope

at home in the garden

Specifically for looking at stars

are you interested

Don't overdo it

Tingting, we're going to get some cakes

are you coming

You guys g0 al0f19

Someone just stole your girl friend

Don't be ridiculous VVhaflre you talking about

I never looked at her as my girl friend

Don't you have no shame

How can you say such a thing

But you're no match for Ho Ying Chun;

He's a prefect, a member of the debate

team captain of the basketball team

The monitor of his class, a fifth former

A perfect and a class monitor, big deal

You're feeling inferior That's something I'll never do

Why doesn't it open The best thing about

buddies is you can scream at them

The best thing about screaming at people is that

it masks your extreme sense of inferiority

Yeung Da Bu, for you attempt to

vandalize school property,

You'll receive the punishment of

cleaning all the blackboards

My name is Wong, James Wong

We have two new teachers this semester

This one is The Killer

My philosophy of education is

based on one single belief:

Human beings are burnEvil

To change from evil to good

meaning to change from bad to good,

We need discipline

You Wearing a necktie and not buttoning up

to be punished

You Your hair's not long enough

or short enough, to be punished

You think you can get away by

pretending to be good

You What kind of a gesture is this

What kind of a gesture is it

Sir, this is called yawning

Exactly This is called yawning

Why do people yawn Dues anybody know

Cos they want to go to sleep

Exactly From now on it's forbidden

Whose seat is it

Teddy Tse's

Teddy ?

Teddy is used to coming and going as he pleases.

But The Killer is going to make him change all that

Sir, aren't you gonna punish him for being late

What do you have to say about being late

Sir, push this button and you can speak

What do you have to say about being late

What do I have to say

Have you started teaching, Sir.

Nu, not yet

That means I'm not late

Can I share your book

Who ordered iced tea and Spam and egg noodles

Right here

This is a real pain

9 dollars 80 cents

Sir, can I burrow $200 to tip the man

That won't be necessary Forget it

A black mark Detention and clean up

all the toilets, Satisfied

Satisfied

The other new teacher is a woman

called Sensitive Plant

She's really shy

There must be a reason

why she's such an introvert

Let Let us turn to Chinese

Literature Lesson 1

'in- "_ 'l

Should have moved over a lung time ago

Lu Mo

“Zen” The word is pronounced Zen

Let us turn to lesson 1

Shouldn't that be pronounced Sai

Really Her old man must have been a real joker

to give her such a name: Lo Mo Zen

People always call her Lo Mo Sai

(Mother's private parts)

Is this name a memorial to something

Teacher, let me read

This is a small painting

It was painted by Ma Mengrung

A green blind occupies the left upper corner

it was sparse & long

I didn't know where I got the courage

But I saved Miss Lu

And I was duly rewarded for my good deed

Such heavy work, let me do it

No You clean your toilets

Would I be here if I hadn't finished my toilets

I take your money, and I do your work, right

Rub

I got detention 8=amp

had to clean up the blackboards;

Still, it's been a meaningful day

Cos I cos

Cos I found out that I really dig Tingting

Let's go look at the stars

You're really beautiful today

What's wrung with these fishes today

They don't pay attention to me like they used to

This Red Cap should have a white spot in his left eye

Dad must have secretly replaced a new fish

Recently I'm beginning to wonder that my clad really

doesn't know anything about keeping an aquarium

Laikau is smarter than I am

She's given up on him ages ago

But I still idolize him

Chow time

Did I feed you too well

Starting today, you can only have

half a bowl of rice, no

I don't want it

Stop it

That's what Goldfish Bing said A gold fish

is just like a woman

Woman, you shouldn't feed them too well

Goldfish Bing

What did you talk to goldfish Bing about

You're beginning to talk like him

Goldfish Bing likes women &amp

he doesn't care what age they are

Yes He screwed the niece of the

grocery store owner

He also screwed the aunt of

Mrs Wong upstairs

It's not her aunt, it's her great aunt

Young lady, mind your own business

That's what you said when

Auntie Lang came to dinner

All you do is gossip Look at your

own son he's depressed

All you do is gossip

What's up Are you sick

Don't ask me so many questions

Why are you shhhshhhing all evening

Have a piece of curried potato

You eat a potato, you give birth to a potato

Don't laugh No matter what they say

do not laugh

Once you laugh, they'd think you're okay

Mum, you should have some more

So what's on your mind

You know your Dad is democratic

Wait I go first

I want to take ballet lessons

No Why do you want to be so westernized

It's be okay if you'd started as a child

Now you're too old

I've been asking you about ballet

lessons since primary four

Before I was too young, now I am too old

And you call yourself democratic Bullshit

Do you know what democracy means

It means you are the people and I'm the lord

The lord will obey the people No

The people will obey the lord

In short, we don't have the money for it

Now go back to your dinner

No money for it Well you better not let me

catch you buying brother a video camera

We can think of a way

VVhat're you talking about

Don't change the subject

Don't you know I'm depressed

Wun't you please care about me

I've been dumped

Do we have space to rent to other people

Sure we do Don't we have a store room upstairs

All we have to do is to clean it up a bit

The question is Auntie Lang's relative is

an object by the name of “goddaughter”

I don't think it's a good idea to have

a girl live on the roof

An object by the name of “goddaughter”

Now life is becoming meaningful again

Don't interrupt, let Mum talk

I don't want her to live on the roof

I think I'll let her have Bo's room

and have Bo move upstairs

This morning, on my son's bed, found

He's grown up He's got that

What

You're his father You go talk to him

Talk to him about what

All the newspapers and columns are

advising young people against it

It causes impairment in hearing

loss of appetite & interest in school

You go talk to him

Okay But this is not the way to go about it

Nah I don't think it needs to be discussed

I mean, he'll get bored with it soon enough

No This thing's going to stifle his growth

Because of that,

I become a short person

It only happened this morning, and already

everybody in the family knows about it

There's absolutely no privacy

whatsoever in this family

That thing that I'm going to talk to you

ls in fact my specialty

I started doing it when I was 12 or 13

This thing that I'm talking about

it may be somewhat unusual for a beginner,

It may even be a bit unnerving

But with time and practice

you'll get used to it in no time

I wonder if Dad has contracted some

kind of professional malaise

Every time he has to address a thorny issue,

He speaks in falsetto

Actually he's an expert

Why aren't you laughing

Nothing We'll talk again

You Mum

She's worried that you won't

concentrate on your school work

So Cut down on your waning

Ovary, the female reproduction organ

Good Hut stuff

Is he really going to draw it

Looks like a bull's head

Dues anybody know what it is

Is it an ear

Thank God I'm not the only one

to mistake it for something else

Ear The ear is here

This isovary

I' ll n,

Why don't you draw us the whole picture

We don't know what they are

Looks like a mahjong table

No It's Six Gods Coming together

No wonder he's called Mr Fung (Square)

I suppose the future Mrs Fung will be just as square,

And she'll have an enormous ovary

Your textbooks have arrived You can collect

them at the administrative office

I have good news

I got permission from my Mum to

go out on Mid-autumn Festival

That's great We can go see a movie

have dinner & midnight snacks

Whafre we going to see Sex in Denmark”

In the entire world, only women in

HK don't shave their armpits

Experts say that the armpits are a woman's

most sensitive spots

I don't have that kind of an analytical ability

All I know is, if I couldn't get a real one

I'll make do with a fake one

Even better than Sex in Denmark

Let's go

Look

Thank you

Teddy

What a coincidence

Did you also come to see the movie Yeah

Great stuff from Denmark

Look Look at a“ this food

Yeah It's really swell

What can I get you, Miss

Fried noodles with beef, but hold

the noodle Hold the noodles

No wonder he falls asleep in class every day

What a tough life for a student

Cups

Help me and gather the stuff

Sorry Come again next time

I'll wait for you over there

How lung have you been doing this

Almost two years

I wouldn't be able to stand it

I have a seventy-year-old grandmother at home;

Who's going to make a living for the two of us

Tough, man it's a tough life

This is Miss Mao

This is Kuan, and this is Bo They're my buddies

You're not shy, are you This is my girl

I go to school just to keep granny happy

You got any plans

To open a flower shop A flower shop

Eat your peanuts And stop daydreaming

Do you guys know every time someone dies,

How much people spend on flowers and wreathes

I'd make a fortune

So that's the kind of florist you want to become

to open a shop right next to

I'd be equally happy with a shop inside a hospital

I do business with both the living and the dead

& I'll let the woman take care of the

natty gritty side of business

As for myself, I just put my feet up

on the table and collect money

Start talking when you have

saved up enough money

Hey, I'm serious

I got to go Don't stay up too late

Business is rotten today,

I don't have any money

Since today's Mid-Autumn

I'll do it for free

Free

Teddy's only three or four years older than I am

While I'm still asking my old man for money

Already he has big ideas

starting his own business

And he has a woman

I turn all red when I see a girl,

And he

Buy, how great it is to grow up

You must be Bo

I'm sorry You dad gave me a set of keys

And asked me to come up here by myself

I didn't know which was my room

So I just left my stuff here

So you are the lodger

My name is Cheung Hameng

Your tortoise's run away, let me fetch him

Nu, that's okay Let him run around a bit

Besides, I don't like to lock him up

That's why she doesn't close the door

when she's taking a leak

This is a full-grown tortoise

he can take care of himself

Let me help you

The 2 persons who initially were most

against the idea of taking

in a lodger are now entirely of a different opinion

Poor Mum, she hasn't noticed a thing

And she's happy mo,

cos Dad's been coming home for dinner more often

Your beauty is known all over Happy Valley

most lovely sisters Really

What beautiful flowers What more

Vain women, haven't you heard

Goldfish Bing is a whuremunger

Who do you think you are

The Neon Sisters Or call girls

The newspaper says Hameng grow

Taiwan is performing in a cabaret

Where did you get all these dirty newspapers

I specifically bought them Is that all

Yes, that's all They're all here Very good

Where're you going To the loo

So this is the scent of women

Laikau always makes a fuss over nothing

Something goes wrong

and she comes running for me

Over the years I have killed numerous spiders

cockroaches, rats and what not for her

Brother is here Let me help you

No It's none of your business Just go get Mum

h-III-I-III-II-

Who do you think I am I'm your brother

Open the door

Mum, don't let brutherCome in here

What on earth are you doing

Are we still a family or what

Carefree and natural , happy as an angel;

Big Joy sanitary napkins Think not about eternity

Just make sure that you have them every month

The Miss Hung Kong Beauty Pageant this year

is solely sponsored by Big Joy sanitary napkins

Now even my kid sister has grown up

And she won't play with me any more

So, the end of this family Finite

Let me dream that dream again

let me dream that dream again

Hold it Hold it

People say, by sheer will power

it's possible to dream the same dream again

Wonder if it's true for wet dreams

Let me dream that dream again

Of course it isn't true

Let me dream that dream again

I told you not to eat so much for lunch

Now you're falling asleep

What's going on We're in the middle of a class

That's him Composition That's his idea

He created it to torture us

Now, fix him

But he's not the real culprit

It's her She set's up the time table

This should be siesta time

and she wants us to write compositions

What do we do with her

We ask her questions see how knowledgeable she is

Who's the president of Bangladesh

Who is he Answer Robert Buy

Wrong Strip

Dear Principal, when' re you going to die

I don't know

Dear Principal

how many McDonalds are there in HK

How many fries are there in one

Large French Fries

I don't know

What are the seating and standing

capacities of the Star Ferry

I don't know

Let me ask her

VVhafs the serial number of my $10 bill

I don't know

Oh shit A wet dream

Ten seconds left Who's next

Ten nine eight

I'll ask her

Let me raise the question Forget it

Don't ask any more, wake up

Please don't I'm going to make a fool of myself

I'm finished

Sir, Yeung Da Bo isn't feeling well today

That's why he's not quite himself

I'm taking him to the sick room

Can you get up Barely

Can't you control yourself

Wait until you get home

The Astronomy Club is kind

of quiet these days

Why don't we come to my place after school

and see what we can do about it

Wait here

Bu, Are you okay

May be you should see a doctor

Or should I call your mother

and ask her to pick you up

You just leave me alone

What is it Nothing

Bo is sick

I told you I'm okay

Go on The guy is waiting for you

I-I n 'U,'

Good I'll call my Dad

There's no need

I won't need you even if I'm dying

You ejaculated in class

Man, that's serious shit

I remember seeing some ads

they cure for premature ejaculation

Let me go with you

Will you leave me alone

I won't You can't go on like this

It's going to get worse.

And it'll get more frequent

It'll happen when you're riding the bus

when you're queuing up;

Think of the poor guy standing in front of you

You're nuts Totally insane

They're back

Oh boy Why does Dad look so mad

Has he found out what happened in school

It doesn't make sense Can they figure out

what happened just looking at my face

Good morning, Uncle, Good night, Auntie

Bu, Tingting's mother tried to swim

to Hung Kong and she drowned

Tingting's disappeared after she's heard the news

You're such good friends, will you go look for her

To be honest, I don't have a clue

where Tingting has gone

But my legs just carried me

to where we always went when we were kids

She's always wanted to see her mum

She wanted her mother to take her to places

To go shopping, to go to restaurants

I can't imagine what's going to happen

to her now that her mother's gone

I'm I'm sorry

I didn't mean to lose my temper

at you today at school

I know

It's getting cold...

The leaves have all fallen

and I still haven't sewed your button

That's our first kiss

But that was that We never ever talked

about it again

to this day I still don't understand

Is it because she was feeling unhappy

Or is it because she did like me a little

Well, the world moves in mysterious ways

But in any case, this is a moment

that I'll always remember

There were some unpleasantries in the

last Christmas Ball over partners

So we've decided for this Christmas Ball

no one will be admitted without a partner

Whu're you taking to the Ball

Jo Jo

Jo Jo She's getting her braces

you won't be able to kiss her

Teddy, who're you taking to the Ball

Depends

So you're here

Are you still here

Merry Christmas

Every Christmas Tingting and I give

each other a pleasant

Somehow I've totally forgotten

about it this year

I left your present at home

I'll bring it to you next time

That's okay

Just remember, don't open it until

Christmas day Like we always did

Well, that's it Bye now

Tingting

Do you want to go to the Christmas Ball with me

I can't I already agreed to go with Ho Yingchun

See you See you

Adolescents know no sorrow”

Whoever said this never knew

what it was like to be turned down for a date

I've got it

Hameng, cum in come to me

It's really working

Hurry Pretend that you're

tying your shoelaces

Damn Slippers don't have shoelaces

Who do I do

I I just saw the tortoise

It it took a tumble and went over

Just Just like this

Really

It's getting late Why are you still up

May be I really wanted someone to talk to

Or it may just be the scent of her soap

All of a sudden I felt Hameng as tender and

As understanding as an angel

What's on your mind

Yes, Tingting

She lives down the road

and she's in my class

I know, she's real pretty

So

Ho Yingchun is taking her

to the Christmas Ball

Who is this Ho Yingchun

That jerk from Form 4A

You know, Tingting is so young

It's Christmas

Even the Family Planning Association

is advising people to be careful

I know

Sit down

And you, are you going to the Christmas Ball

Sit

What does it matter if I go or not

Well, I think you should go

Cos if you didn't, there's no chance

of you taking care of Tingting

Besides, it's a school party

it doesn't matter who's going with whom

II.' I p'

There she goes again, looking at me like this

Oh Lord Who in the heavenly bodies

has sent her to me

Is it Jesus Buddha

The Bodhisattva or the Dalai Lama

Whoever he is, whoever sent her to me

I'll ho to his church tomorrow

So crabbie, you'll make her happy, won't you

Here's a new sweater for you

the one you're wearing is getting old

it's time to get a new one

Nu, it's not old It's quite okay

I'm not throwing it out I'll give it

to the garbage woman's son

Come, look at yourself It really looks good

Tingting

Merry Christmas

Thank you

Can I open it

Wait until midnight, okay

Tingting, come I have something to show you

Look Do you like it

It's a big crab

I told you to buy the biggest one

She's Cancer; I really should

have got her a Big Crab

Really Now what can I say

What is it Twisting and wriggling about;

Are you epileptic

Well, go on

That's no loner hip Follow me

There's no reason why everybody

is having such a good time

Still there're two people more

bored than I am

Why aren't you dancing

At lung last, my prayer is answered

I twisted my ankle

Are you okay

She's beginning to care about me

It hurts a bit

I wanted to ask you something

But I didn't know what to say

And now you've hurt your ankle

Oh yes

It's okay Really, it's no big deal

So are you going to dance

Yeah sure

Betsy wants to dance with you

But couldn't bring herself to ask you

Betsy

Tingting, this is our sung Come

This is really too much

What a failure

It's time to make you money's worth

I'll be your muscle

Do you want me to beat him up

No

That's the way, brother, that's the way

Betsy, I've decided that I shall only dance

with you this evening

Really

Oh, Bobu, Can I call you Bubu

Hey, Kit What do you want

What is it Sir, He punched me

What did you say I only tapped your shoulder

I learned it from American movies

it means changing partners

Teddy Tse, you'll get thrown

out of school for this time

Natassia, say something You say

Teddy only wanted to dance with you

You say something

I don't know Really

I don't know anything

What do you mean How can you say that

You saw it

Yeung Da Bu, this is none of your business

You don't have a partner

and don't you dare start making trouble

Yeung Da Bo Stop it

I've been watching you for a lung time

You behave yourself, or I'll have

you thrown out of school as well

Ma'am, I know for a fact that they're

involved with a gang

And they're running a racket

in school collecting protection money

Damn it

If there's a guilty party, that's me and me alone

Yeung Da Bo has nothing to do with it

And really, I did not throw a punch at Ho Yingkit

But Now I'm going to

Don't fight

Teddy, don't

This is a familiar scene in old

Cantonese movies

I-I' .-.

And ll was soaked to the bone

Hey Bo No hand of a ghost in the tree hole

It fits you, and it's a good sweater

You're not for real, are you

Talking to a tortoise

My dear tortoise

you must be very disappointed with me

What am I doing It's really yucky

I only want these few years

to go away as quickly as possible

When I become an adult

I won't have any more of these problems

On this Christmas Eve

Young people caused an riot in Central an

unprecedented incident in the history of Hung Kong

According to the police,

the riot was the work of a group

of frustrated young people

in the incident, the police arrested 45 people

It's spring term Teddy has gone

Tingting and Ho Yingchun are becoming

really close and corny

But fortunately

I still have a glimmer of hope

The crab is small, but sometimes small thing

comes in pretty handy

Dad's gold fish are still there

Though they're all replacements

Laikau has become very strange

She's always on the phone

I think she's reached puberty

The same goes for Hameng

Throwing this look at me again

So pure and innocent, My God

ls tomorrow day shift or night shift

It's day shift, right

I don't know much about these things

you'll have to teach me

You'll be okay

Hameng is going dubbing with Dad

I I want to go too

Actually, it's quite simple

Just follow the movements

of the mouth Let me show you

You're smart, you'll do okay, Let's do it

I really like to have dinner here

But the landlady is such a lousy cock

So sometimes there can be a problem

That's not what I said

You talk too much

Don't talk with your mouth full, that's what Dad said

Dad, I want to go too

I want to watch you making a living

So you're interested too

Okay, let's all go

What are we dubbing tomorrow

I don't know

The foreman called and said he wanted a girl

who speaks Mandarin

so I asked you

That's all there is to it, my dear

I like going to the movies myself

That movie Somewhere in Time

I saw it four times

Don't hate me Beg me

Darling, I want more

Stop NG

Can you loosen up a bit

She's having a good time, really enjoying it

You make her sounds likes she's

really sick and suffering

Everyone's reaction is different, you know

That I don't care Just do it according to the images

Okay, from the top

I'm sorry I didn't know

we'd be dubbing this kind of stuff

That's okay

Come on More

I should be really turned on by these images

But the sound of Dad and Hameng doing it

Really bother me, it's terrible

Do you like this Sun, come with me

Darling

Darling

I'm not eating roast pork today

can I have yours instead

These two are for the family;

I'll let you have it if you were my family

Ain't I Some other day

These're the only two better lunch boxes

left You got to be quick

I had to fight my way to get them

Let's eat, Come

Yeung Chu-chang, guess who

Even if you didn't say a word,

Your perfume would have given you away Hi, Fox

Well, aren't you something

My dear, you're always on my heart

This is my sun

So it is for this son

that you got married in such a hurry

If you hadn't been in such a hurry

He could have been our sun

Hey, Sexy, you mind your mouth

That's what I am

You're frightening the kid

Let's be serious I have something to say to you

What is it

Let's talk outside Outside

If Hameng wasn't there with us

I would be throwing up

Let me give your some of this, okay

Give me anything, give me rat poison

And I'll gladly put into my stomach

"I. 'Ii-ii

It feels so good

Back there when Fox's

Pressing her chest against you,

Did you Have a hard-on

Just a little, a little

No

That's very upright of you

So I'm upright

What about you

Flirting with all those women

Now I get it It's all because

of you that I'm perverted

It's all a matter of genetics

What is it Always hanging up on me

Hello, is Yeung Chu-chang there

Nu, he's not Who's calling

Who is it

She hangs up again

I'm going to Auntie Lang's, I'd be right back

I'm sure that was Fox;

Something's going on

I've been suspecting him for some time

Durex

Evidence Evidence of my Dad's crime

Don't hate me, just beg me

It can't be My Dad isn't that kind of person

That must be an explanation to it

But if there's nothing between him and Fox

Why is he carrying all these condoms

Come to think of it, Fox may not be the only one

There may be a Miss A

And a Miss B

And

I have an important announcement to make

Shit Mum also knows about it

Now the family is going to fall apart

I'm going to find a part-time job

So that's all

The family will not be affected

We'll still be having dinner at 7

I'll do the shopping for you

So if I come home earlier from school

There'd be no one at home except

Hameng and myself It's great

If no one objects to it, then it's settled

If anyone has any objections, let's hear it

Silence means objection

Mum, I'm 100% behind you

That's only one vote, what about the others

If you're against it

say it This is a democratic family

Democracy I mean, democracy

Of course it's democracy

You're the people, and I'm the lord

So it's settled

Good In fact I've already found a job

And I'm starting tomorrow

Guess what I found

I'm helping out at the luck shop

in Bo's school

u,' n'?

From now on we can go to schoo and come home

together, isn't that nice

Be frank, tell her

Tell her that you'll lose face your classmates

will tease you, Go on

MumSince you're peddling fish balls,

why don't you do it in sister's school

Let's get some cakes,

No We don't want to miss roll call Let's go

I'm talking about cakes, your favourite

Nu, thank you

The teacher's coming Let's go

Over there

Lang, is that form 2A in the playground

What do I care who they are

They're all animals You'll find out

when they rush down for their soda

Will there be enough for everybody

I've prepared a few more, just in case

We'll take a five-minutes break

But stay away from the tuck shop

I heard a whistle Dues that mean class is over

Lang, is this your invoice

Oh yes

Good They're nice and cold

That was fun

D what a great dunk

What That's your Mum

A nice cold soda for you, sun

What can I do for you Ma'am

Auntie, class isn't over

I'm terribly sorry

I'll save them for you

I'm sorry

Ho Yingchun's mother is the vice

chairman of the Rotary Club

My Mum sells fish balls in school

Your Mum's working in the tuck shop That's great

We'll get bigger fish balls

You're going to take care of your

good friend, aren't you.

"M. lb.'

It's your Mum Well So

It's okay You can learn

Come on

Besty, Let's go to a movie

Okay I'm so happy You're asking me to a movie

What movie

It's up to you

And we'll have dinner aftenuards

UP to you

I'll do whatever you say, okay

Bo

Do you

not like Mum working

No I It's not that I don't like you working

You're afraid that your classmates will tease you

No

I just I just want you to treat me like the others

And don't wait for me after school

That's okay I'll treat you like the others

Now go to sleep

Mum, Do you understand what I'm saying

Just remember that I'm not your sun at school

Please remember

Hameng has a boyfriend

Really

Have you seen him Of course

What does he look like

What do you expect People who go to those places

No He's cool

He takes Hameng home in a Mercedez

A Mercedez Sounds like a big shut

So how big is he

Stop gossiping

Last night you said Uncle Wong

was keeping a mistress

I don't want to talk about this any more

Children eat, adults talk Now Hush Shut up

The way you look at me

You know I'll do it for you

Can I talk to Mr Chan Saimei please

Hang on

Hello Saimei Why don't you call me

You know you can't me at home

I'm sorry, but I miss you

You shouldn't be doing this to yourself

not for any man

Because I know in my heart

No man on earth is good enough for you

Of course I'm going to help you You're my friend

Have some meat

You never had a meal with a girl

Your friend looks depressed Is it the food No

Then have some vegetables

I'll go get the soup

Give me a break It's his first time

It won't take am minute

Done It's settled

Maybe it's really not such a good idea

Are you kidding It's all settled

I don't think so

How many times have I talked to you about it

You're 14 years old

You're a man, and a man has his needs

People used to push you around in school

After this they'll all look at you differently

But she's your girl

And I'm your friend

It doesn't seem right

Hey, you're paying for it This isn't free

You are my friend , that's why I trust you

I mean, who else can I trust

Besides, even if you don't do it with her

someone else will

Friends makes things easy

You won't feel embarrassed or anything

We're friends You help her, she helps me

and I help you

We help one another, right

I don't know if I really understood

what Teddy was saying

In any case, I was too curious

After dinner, dessert

Now be a good student

Relax Let me show you

Don't worry about me

What do you want

I know This is your first time

You're nervous, aren't you

Now relax

What are you doing Do you want to do it

What Speak up, I can't hear you

Try Try a little

How to try a little

You're too nervous Wait until next time

Can't do it

Don't push it too hard

Let me show you

You're weird

I'm more handsome

Work hard

Dun'! PEEP

I don't know why Teddy and I become friends

I don't think he's a bad person

Like most people, he also needs friends

Sure he ran a racket in school

But that's the only way he knows to make friends

Lately he's been looking dreadful

I didn't ask him if he was sick or something

intuitively, I thought it has to do with his whoring

That was a really romantic movie

“a I-"II-

Bu, do you think that could be our ending

I never thought I 'd be dating Betsy

She's only eleven, and already overdoing it

What can I get you

Pineapple ice

And for the little girl

That won't be necessary We're sharing one drink

Do we also have to share one bed

Miss Yes

Can I have two straws please

Going out with Betsy has one good point

I don't have to say much

Cos she's doing all the talking

lfl don't, I'll get some contact lenses

She gives me time to reflect

On the things that are happening around me

Is it good

I forbid you from now on to hang out

with Yeung Da Bo

Yeung Da Bo Who is he

Saimei, let set this tortoise free, okay

What do you say

Are you sure The tortoise is a secret

between you and Bo

Understand He's a kid I was just kidding him

What is the most famous farm product of India

Yeung Da Bu, answer the question

Sir, I know the answer

Yeng Wan Puchiu, you answer the question

It's curried potato

That's correct

Bu, have a soda

You're seating a! over, here

Look Your nose's running all over Here, clean it

Step mother will forgive this time;

But if I catch you bullying Shiu Bo again,

I'll lock you out

Shui Bo tickle him

Whafre you doing It's me

Nut Fung Bo Bo

Even if it's fantasy, it doesn't have

so stray so far away from the reality

Hello Dolby How come you know my number

Who am I

VVhafs wrong You called me 8=amp

you don't know who I am

I am Yeung Da Bu, your classmate

Laikau You know her

It's my call Give it to me

Boyfriend She's only eleven

She's only a kid You're an animal

What' re you doing

I'll never speak to you again

But I'm right Ain't I

Wait a minute You're going steady

with an 11 years old too

I just don't want other people to make

the same mistakes I did Hey

It's getting more & more difficult to be

a member of the Yeung family

n-n-I 'It

Do you want some banana

I won't talk to my Dad

Cos he's committing adultery with Fox

Mum ignores me at school

And Hameng

Kind of ignores everybody

Are you sure you're not going to uncle's

home to have dinner

Let me cock you something

Did his dad die

We have to be more concerned about Bo

How

The way you're concerned about the gold fish

What is it Why' re you Whispering again

Your brother has cancer

I'm not kidding

No more fouling around

No more fouling around

I know I've bee a real failure recently

The people around me are actually nice to me

But I'm still unhappy Why

Am I too demanding

Am I though on others and soft on myself

Home at last, Come into my room

Now this is really too much

Don't go Take off your shoes

You take off your clothes, I'm leaving

Please don't

No I got to go I have to report to my wife

Saimei, please don't go

Saimei,

Come back

Don't leave me here

Saimei

Alright, you

You're a real pervert, aren't you

Just kidding

Don't get mad Can't you take a joke

Giving up Are you sure

Finally I come to realize the first truth about love

If you really like someone

you don't go to bed with her easily

But with someone you hardly know,

There's no harm

So I decided to give Teddy a call

Hello, can I talk to Tse Yin please

This is Yeung Da Bo

Something terrible has happened

His granny said he's in the hospital

He has leukemia

Tse Yin asked me to give you this

before he passed away

Dear Bo, I am giving you back

your protection money

We are friends, and friends don't

haggle over money

Granny, can I have a photograph of Tse Yin

That's nice I always thought he was a loner

That he didn't have any friends

I am so happy to know that

you're his friend

I never thought someone this young

can die so suddenly

But I think his death has something

to do with his whoring

Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun,

Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun

Really She's broken up

with Ho Yingchun

Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun

Really She's broken up with Ho Yingchun

Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun

It's all over school

Could it be because of me

Tingting

She's sitting right there

where I always pass by on my way home

Her intention can't be more obvious, can it

Why're you sitting here

Nothing Nothing

Then why're you sitting here looking dopey

Just say I'm waiting for someone

That's more like it No need to be subtle

Maybe I'm waiting for you

Yeah Be frank about it

Waiting for me Do you have problem

with your homework

No

She's not making sense

she doesn't know what's she talking about

Now I have her under my thumb

Press her, make her tell the truth

So, what is it

I've been waiting for you to say this for so lung

Tingting

Tingting I'm sorry

I can't live without you

I love you

Tingting

Please don't do this, please

Let's talk it over, okay

I don't think we have anything to talk about

Yeung Da Bu, talk to her

You and Tingting are good friendsT, alk to her on my behalf

I never thought Ho Yingchun

the darling of everybody

Would be begging me, like a dog without a home

Will you stop this Can you act like a man

Good Scold him Scold him good

Let's go

Tingting What're you doing

Tingting, don't leave me

You're hurting me

Let go of me Let go

It's none of your business, leave us alone

ll“- u-

Stay cool and let it blow over,

I've successfully protected

her Victory is mine

Maybe I'll get a kiss

Why did you punch him

lOh buy, I really screwed up

Are you okay

Blood What

Superman

Tingting, I'm sorry to be late

Let's go to a movie

Tingting

How can you do such a thing

Well, what about it

You have this on and off thing

with Ho Yingchun,

And now you and Dolby

Dolby and I are just

Well, so what

It's none of your business anyway

None of my business

Why should it be any of your business

Because because I'm your friend

I-‘ fl-'Fl

Okay

If it had been somebody else,

I really couldn't care less

Tingting, I have something to ask you

Do you love me

I I don't know

You don't know How can you not know

I really don't

Then how come You go out with one guy

at one time, And another guy at another

I really don't know I don't know

Everything is I don't know Well I don't know

I always thought girls are more mature

But I was wrung

They go out with this guy

then they go out with that guy;

It looks like they're playing with us

But in fact they don't know what they are doing

They're also going around in circles

Examination time again

I worked really hard for it

I wanted good results

But Mr Fang had a disaster

He got a zero

Miss Lu, whom he wanted, ls now Mrs Yuen

As for myself, though I tried my very best,

My results were even more miserable then last year's

So I began to understand that what you sow

and what you get can be very different

Do you remember there used to be

a creek down there

There're a lot of tadpoles in it

Yeah And there was this tree

that shed its leaves in summer

And you used to scare Tingting

with some haunted stories

That they so crowded the tree

that its leaves began to fall

Now I know why its leaves fall in summer

Why

Because a lot of people take their dogs

out in summer,

And all the dogs piss on the tree,

And drown it

Bullshit Dug piss is top-grade fertilizer

Did I drag you out and make life

difficult for you and Chu

There's something about you

that I'm not totally happy about

What is it

You're not nice to your Mum

Even Kwan is more mature than I am

Even Kwan's grown up

When you were a kid and I wanted

to take you to the doctor

You always wanted me to bring you here

for a western meal

In those days, I could never have a meal

in piece and quiet

Cos you were always all over the place,

Or pulling the hair of the guy sitting

in the next booth,

See that guy That's how he lust all his hair

And I thought, one day if you could

buy me a meal here

I'd be the happiest guy on earth

Bu, are you mad at Dad

Dad, one time I found some condoms

in your briefcase

So

Do you have something going on with Fox

Fox did a movie and wanted me to talk

to the distributors,

That's why she's been calling me

What about the condoms

That's Dad'sAnd Mum's business

You and Mum are still doing it

Hey, we're not old people

But you do it at home,

Why are you carrying them in your briefcase

You're a big man now, and I'll tell you

There're these crazy colour condoms

that are really in vogue

And grown-ups like to carry a couple

n their pockets

They're status symbols, you know

I'm your old man, I have to carry a few

I'm a matter of face

I not only carry them in my pocket

I keep a bundle in my briefcase

Open my briefcase, people see them,

and are shocked out of their wits

They think I'm a big shot

Did you ever use them

You're so unobservant, how come you're my son

Didn't you ever look at them

They're all wrinkled, dried up, expired

they're museum pieces

You can't use them

Waiter

What can I get you, sir

The check, please

Yes sir

Dad, let me do it You

I didn't quite believe what he told me

But I saw him trying so hard,

That all of sudden I realized that none

of this was important any more;

Cos Dad was treating me as his equal

I think you still have a few familial

problems to be taken care of

You mean Mum and Sis

Of course, I'll let you in on a few secrets

about being a man

What are they There aren't any

If there were, your Mum won't be your Mum

What does that mean

It means be creative

If I had the answer, I'd e getting you

a new Mum every year

You first

Okay Let's be friends again

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Open it All right

Thank you, Dad

Don't thank me You know I'm

against expensive gifts

thank your Mum She makes the money for it

Working in the tuck shop

Mum

I'm sorry

No need to say sorry

If you're going to say anything

you should say Thank you

Thank you Mum

Look at you You're a big buy now

and still behaving like a kid

Come, give Mum a hand

Laikau, Hameng is leaving

Hameng, please don't go

Yeah Don't go

Why do you move

Good-bye Good-bye

Are you all packed Yes

Good-bye, Good-bye, Laikau

Bye bye

Laikau will miss you

Come back and visit us when you've time

Come stay with us again

Good-bye Good-bye

We didn't hear much about

Hameng after she left

We learned from the newspaper

that she took part in the

1st New Talent Singing Contest

and she lust to Anita Mui

Then we heard she went back to Taiwan

But the tortoise is still with us

watching over me