Ji de... xiang jiao cheng shu shi (1993) - full transcript
20 years ago, Hung Kong went
though a really tumultuous time
The Star Ferry raised its fare by 5 cents
And it caused a riot; and it was massive
To me personally, it was the most
significant event in my life
The ferry's suspended its service, 8=amp
my Dad used that as an excuse
To spend the night in my future mum's place
So on the one hand the police were beating the shit
out of the demonstrators around the Star Ferry
Ina. I-m-u
Nine months later I was born
Granny said my Mum didn't have enough milk,
and asked my Dad to get me a wet nurse
He must be thinking he's
going to get a taste himself
Big busts He employed her
Time for lunch
I was a smart kid I knew everything
about sex since day one
For most babies, the 1st word they learn to
say is either Mama or Papa
I was a little different,
I had better penetration about such things
Titty
So when I was old enough to go to school
my Dad gave me
This Nom de Esme', Shing Bo (teats gazer)
Yeung Da Bo, your Mum's here to pick you up
Here's Mum
On their first day of school
most kids cried their eyes out
Well I didn't
I loved school, especially the teachers
It could be the teachers were
really too nice to me
Everybody g0 Play
“I. pail'
His name is Mo Shan Kuan
We met each other in kindergarten
A major cause of our great friendship
was that we liked different things
We never fought over toys
Thank God he liked Barbie
It would be a disaster if he liked Ken
We have another pal She's Tingting
and she live on the same block
We always treated her well Because, poor thing
She's a disabled person
Come line up And quit fouling around
Look She isn't got what we all got
Time flies
Before I knew it I was on the threshold of Life
On the morning of September 1, 1981
I saw, I saw so many things
Now get out of bed The holidays are over
you understand
She's my Mum
Yeung Kwan Pochiu She always
takes me for a kid
Mum, I'm getting out of bed
So get out of bed
Mum, I don't have any pants on
Big deal, so you don't have any pants on
I'm your Mum What do you got that
I am not ever seen before
lfl get out of bed right this minute
I may still make it
Dad should be still sleeping
My Dad-Yeung Chu-chang (hard-on)
He's a dubbing artist
He usually works at night
This is how he usually looks in the morning
You always have to use the bathroom
when I want to use it
She's my sister
My sister Laikau is only 11
But she's already acquired
a woman's characteristic
She just can't wait
Stop banging on the door You're
on the outside, you'll never understand
I have just experienced the most
dramatic moment of an adolescent
I now have the ability to be someone's father
People told me that when a man put his member
into a certain hollow area in the female anatomy
There'll be a baby
So the next time I see a woman's belly button
dimple or nostril
I should get a hold of myself
If not there'd be disaster
Kuan, come in and have some breakfast
That's what this stink told me
What's the hurry
The two of us and Tingting have
always been a threesome
Her Mum lives in China She tried to cross the
border a few times, but she never made it
Her Dad's a fireman and he has
to be on duty at odd hours
So he lets Tingting hang out with us
Frankly, I never considered Tingting a girl
But things began to change when I started From 1
my hormones have undergone a tremendous transformation
There's a hand of a ghost down there Stop
Next time I'll sew the button back on for you
Shall we go
It's a pity that she went to her uncle's
place for summer vacation
I got it, at lung last
I woke up this morning
What is it like
It's likeWas that thick
Come look, Bo's got it Come look
Bo's got it
You got it Did you dream about Miss Yu
Were you scared Did you call out for your Mom
Let's take off his pants and have a look
Comecume This is Teddy
He's been in Form 2 for three lung years
There's no sin being short
Still you don't want to be bullied around
You know my charges, right
$20 a month
I guarantee that from now on no one will bully you
You got a problem with it
Tingting
Tingting, where're your glasses
Boys Hi
The ugly duckling has really turned into a swan
Let me help you
This
I'm I'm going
This one's even more handsome
Hi I saw you attending our Astronomy Club meeting;
Nut that many girls are interested in astronomy
I like to look at the stars
They have such beautiful stories
Stars I've known Tingting since
she was eights months old,
I never knew she likes looking at stars
That's wonderful I have a telescope
at home in the garden
Specifically for looking at stars
are you interested
Don't overdo it
Tingting, we're going to get some cakes
are you coming
You guys g0 al0f19
Someone just stole your girl friend
Don't be ridiculous VVhaflre you talking about
I never looked at her as my girl friend
Don't you have no shame
How can you say such a thing
But you're no match for Ho Ying Chun;
He's a prefect, a member of the debate
team captain of the basketball team
The monitor of his class, a fifth former
A perfect and a class monitor, big deal
You're feeling inferior That's something I'll never do
Why doesn't it open The best thing about
buddies is you can scream at them
The best thing about screaming at people is that
it masks your extreme sense of inferiority
Yeung Da Bu, for you attempt to
vandalize school property,
You'll receive the punishment of
cleaning all the blackboards
My name is Wong, James Wong
We have two new teachers this semester
This one is The Killer
My philosophy of education is
based on one single belief:
Human beings are burnEvil
To change from evil to good
meaning to change from bad to good,
We need discipline
You Wearing a necktie and not buttoning up
to be punished
You Your hair's not long enough
or short enough, to be punished
You think you can get away by
pretending to be good
You What kind of a gesture is this
What kind of a gesture is it
Sir, this is called yawning
Exactly This is called yawning
Why do people yawn Dues anybody know
Cos they want to go to sleep
Exactly From now on it's forbidden
Whose seat is it
Teddy Tse's
Teddy ?
Teddy is used to coming and going as he pleases.
But The Killer is going to make him change all that
Sir, aren't you gonna punish him for being late
What do you have to say about being late
Sir, push this button and you can speak
What do you have to say about being late
What do I have to say
Have you started teaching, Sir.
Nu, not yet
That means I'm not late
Can I share your book
Who ordered iced tea and Spam and egg noodles
Right here
This is a real pain
9 dollars 80 cents
Sir, can I burrow $200 to tip the man
That won't be necessary Forget it
A black mark Detention and clean up
all the toilets, Satisfied
Satisfied
The other new teacher is a woman
called Sensitive Plant
She's really shy
There must be a reason
why she's such an introvert
Let Let us turn to Chinese
Literature Lesson 1
'in- "_ 'l
Should have moved over a lung time ago
Lu Mo
“Zen” The word is pronounced Zen
Let us turn to lesson 1
Shouldn't that be pronounced Sai
Really Her old man must have been a real joker
to give her such a name: Lo Mo Zen
People always call her Lo Mo Sai
(Mother's private parts)
Is this name a memorial to something
Teacher, let me read
This is a small painting
It was painted by Ma Mengrung
A green blind occupies the left upper corner
it was sparse & long
I didn't know where I got the courage
But I saved Miss Lu
And I was duly rewarded for my good deed
Such heavy work, let me do it
No You clean your toilets
Would I be here if I hadn't finished my toilets
I take your money, and I do your work, right
Rub
I got detention 8=amp
had to clean up the blackboards;
Still, it's been a meaningful day
Cos I cos
Cos I found out that I really dig Tingting
Let's go look at the stars
You're really beautiful today
What's wrung with these fishes today
They don't pay attention to me like they used to
This Red Cap should have a white spot in his left eye
Dad must have secretly replaced a new fish
Recently I'm beginning to wonder that my clad really
doesn't know anything about keeping an aquarium
Laikau is smarter than I am
She's given up on him ages ago
But I still idolize him
Chow time
Did I feed you too well
Starting today, you can only have
half a bowl of rice, no
I don't want it
Stop it
That's what Goldfish Bing said A gold fish
is just like a woman
Woman, you shouldn't feed them too well
Goldfish Bing
What did you talk to goldfish Bing about
You're beginning to talk like him
Goldfish Bing likes women &
he doesn't care what age they are
Yes He screwed the niece of the
grocery store owner
He also screwed the aunt of
Mrs Wong upstairs
It's not her aunt, it's her great aunt
Young lady, mind your own business
That's what you said when
Auntie Lang came to dinner
All you do is gossip Look at your
own son he's depressed
All you do is gossip
What's up Are you sick
Don't ask me so many questions
Why are you shhhshhhing all evening
Have a piece of curried potato
You eat a potato, you give birth to a potato
Don't laugh No matter what they say
do not laugh
Once you laugh, they'd think you're okay
Mum, you should have some more
So what's on your mind
You know your Dad is democratic
Wait I go first
I want to take ballet lessons
No Why do you want to be so westernized
It's be okay if you'd started as a child
Now you're too old
I've been asking you about ballet
lessons since primary four
Before I was too young, now I am too old
And you call yourself democratic Bullshit
Do you know what democracy means
It means you are the people and I'm the lord
The lord will obey the people No
The people will obey the lord
In short, we don't have the money for it
Now go back to your dinner
No money for it Well you better not let me
catch you buying brother a video camera
We can think of a way
VVhat're you talking about
Don't change the subject
Don't you know I'm depressed
Wun't you please care about me
I've been dumped
Do we have space to rent to other people
Sure we do Don't we have a store room upstairs
All we have to do is to clean it up a bit
The question is Auntie Lang's relative is
an object by the name of “goddaughter”
I don't think it's a good idea to have
a girl live on the roof
An object by the name of “goddaughter”
Now life is becoming meaningful again
Don't interrupt, let Mum talk
I don't want her to live on the roof
I think I'll let her have Bo's room
and have Bo move upstairs
This morning, on my son's bed, found
He's grown up He's got that
What
You're his father You go talk to him
Talk to him about what
All the newspapers and columns are
advising young people against it
It causes impairment in hearing
loss of appetite & interest in school
You go talk to him
Okay But this is not the way to go about it
Nah I don't think it needs to be discussed
I mean, he'll get bored with it soon enough
No This thing's going to stifle his growth
Because of that,
I become a short person
It only happened this morning, and already
everybody in the family knows about it
There's absolutely no privacy
whatsoever in this family
That thing that I'm going to talk to you
ls in fact my specialty
I started doing it when I was 12 or 13
This thing that I'm talking about
it may be somewhat unusual for a beginner,
It may even be a bit unnerving
But with time and practice
you'll get used to it in no time
I wonder if Dad has contracted some
kind of professional malaise
Every time he has to address a thorny issue,
He speaks in falsetto
Actually he's an expert
Why aren't you laughing
Nothing We'll talk again
You Mum
She's worried that you won't
concentrate on your school work
So Cut down on your waning
Ovary, the female reproduction organ
Good Hut stuff
Is he really going to draw it
Looks like a bull's head
Dues anybody know what it is
Is it an ear
Thank God I'm not the only one
to mistake it for something else
Ear The ear is here
This isovary
I' ll n,
Why don't you draw us the whole picture
We don't know what they are
Looks like a mahjong table
No It's Six Gods Coming together
No wonder he's called Mr Fung (Square)
I suppose the future Mrs Fung will be just as square,
And she'll have an enormous ovary
Your textbooks have arrived You can collect
them at the administrative office
I have good news
I got permission from my Mum to
go out on Mid-autumn Festival
That's great We can go see a movie
have dinner & midnight snacks
Whafre we going to see Sex in Denmark”
In the entire world, only women in
HK don't shave their armpits
Experts say that the armpits are a woman's
most sensitive spots
I don't have that kind of an analytical ability
All I know is, if I couldn't get a real one
I'll make do with a fake one
Even better than Sex in Denmark
Let's go
Look
Thank you
Teddy
What a coincidence
Did you also come to see the movie Yeah
Great stuff from Denmark
Look Look at a“ this food
Yeah It's really swell
What can I get you, Miss
Fried noodles with beef, but hold
the noodle Hold the noodles
No wonder he falls asleep in class every day
What a tough life for a student
Cups
Help me and gather the stuff
Sorry Come again next time
I'll wait for you over there
How lung have you been doing this
Almost two years
I wouldn't be able to stand it
I have a seventy-year-old grandmother at home;
Who's going to make a living for the two of us
Tough, man it's a tough life
This is Miss Mao
This is Kuan, and this is Bo They're my buddies
You're not shy, are you This is my girl
I go to school just to keep granny happy
You got any plans
To open a flower shop A flower shop
Eat your peanuts And stop daydreaming
Do you guys know every time someone dies,
How much people spend on flowers and wreathes
I'd make a fortune
So that's the kind of florist you want to become
to open a shop right next to
I'd be equally happy with a shop inside a hospital
I do business with both the living and the dead
& I'll let the woman take care of the
natty gritty side of business
As for myself, I just put my feet up
on the table and collect money
Start talking when you have
saved up enough money
Hey, I'm serious
I got to go Don't stay up too late
Business is rotten today,
I don't have any money
Since today's Mid-Autumn
I'll do it for free
Free
Teddy's only three or four years older than I am
While I'm still asking my old man for money
Already he has big ideas
starting his own business
And he has a woman
I turn all red when I see a girl,
And he
Buy, how great it is to grow up
You must be Bo
I'm sorry You dad gave me a set of keys
And asked me to come up here by myself
I didn't know which was my room
So I just left my stuff here
So you are the lodger
My name is Cheung Hameng
Your tortoise's run away, let me fetch him
Nu, that's okay Let him run around a bit
Besides, I don't like to lock him up
That's why she doesn't close the door
when she's taking a leak
This is a full-grown tortoise
he can take care of himself
Let me help you
The 2 persons who initially were most
against the idea of taking
in a lodger are now entirely of a different opinion
Poor Mum, she hasn't noticed a thing
And she's happy mo,
cos Dad's been coming home for dinner more often
Your beauty is known all over Happy Valley
most lovely sisters Really
What beautiful flowers What more
Vain women, haven't you heard
Goldfish Bing is a whuremunger
Who do you think you are
The Neon Sisters Or call girls
The newspaper says Hameng grow
Taiwan is performing in a cabaret
Where did you get all these dirty newspapers
I specifically bought them Is that all
Yes, that's all They're all here Very good
Where're you going To the loo
So this is the scent of women
Laikau always makes a fuss over nothing
Something goes wrong
and she comes running for me
Over the years I have killed numerous spiders
cockroaches, rats and what not for her
Brother is here Let me help you
No It's none of your business Just go get Mum
h-III-I-III-II-
Who do you think I am I'm your brother
Open the door
Mum, don't let brutherCome in here
What on earth are you doing
Are we still a family or what
Carefree and natural , happy as an angel;
Big Joy sanitary napkins Think not about eternity
Just make sure that you have them every month
The Miss Hung Kong Beauty Pageant this year
is solely sponsored by Big Joy sanitary napkins
Now even my kid sister has grown up
And she won't play with me any more
So, the end of this family Finite
Let me dream that dream again
let me dream that dream again
Hold it Hold it
People say, by sheer will power
it's possible to dream the same dream again
Wonder if it's true for wet dreams
Let me dream that dream again
Of course it isn't true
Let me dream that dream again
I told you not to eat so much for lunch
Now you're falling asleep
What's going on We're in the middle of a class
That's him Composition That's his idea
He created it to torture us
Now, fix him
But he's not the real culprit
It's her She set's up the time table
This should be siesta time
and she wants us to write compositions
What do we do with her
We ask her questions see how knowledgeable she is
Who's the president of Bangladesh
Who is he Answer Robert Buy
Wrong Strip
Dear Principal, when' re you going to die
I don't know
Dear Principal
how many McDonalds are there in HK
How many fries are there in one
Large French Fries
I don't know
What are the seating and standing
capacities of the Star Ferry
I don't know
Let me ask her
VVhafs the serial number of my $10 bill
I don't know
Oh shit A wet dream
Ten seconds left Who's next
Ten nine eight
I'll ask her
Let me raise the question Forget it
Don't ask any more, wake up
Please don't I'm going to make a fool of myself
I'm finished
Sir, Yeung Da Bo isn't feeling well today
That's why he's not quite himself
I'm taking him to the sick room
Can you get up Barely
Can't you control yourself
Wait until you get home
The Astronomy Club is kind
of quiet these days
Why don't we come to my place after school
and see what we can do about it
Wait here
Bu, Are you okay
May be you should see a doctor
Or should I call your mother
and ask her to pick you up
You just leave me alone
What is it Nothing
Bo is sick
I told you I'm okay
Go on The guy is waiting for you
I-I n 'U,'
Good I'll call my Dad
There's no need
I won't need you even if I'm dying
You ejaculated in class
Man, that's serious shit
I remember seeing some ads
they cure for premature ejaculation
Let me go with you
Will you leave me alone
I won't You can't go on like this
It's going to get worse.
And it'll get more frequent
It'll happen when you're riding the bus
when you're queuing up;
Think of the poor guy standing in front of you
You're nuts Totally insane
They're back
Oh boy Why does Dad look so mad
Has he found out what happened in school
It doesn't make sense Can they figure out
what happened just looking at my face
Good morning, Uncle, Good night, Auntie
Bu, Tingting's mother tried to swim
to Hung Kong and she drowned
Tingting's disappeared after she's heard the news
You're such good friends, will you go look for her
To be honest, I don't have a clue
where Tingting has gone
But my legs just carried me
to where we always went when we were kids
She's always wanted to see her mum
She wanted her mother to take her to places
To go shopping, to go to restaurants
I can't imagine what's going to happen
to her now that her mother's gone
I'm I'm sorry
I didn't mean to lose my temper
at you today at school
I know
It's getting cold...
The leaves have all fallen
and I still haven't sewed your button
That's our first kiss
But that was that We never ever talked
about it again
to this day I still don't understand
Is it because she was feeling unhappy
Or is it because she did like me a little
Well, the world moves in mysterious ways
But in any case, this is a moment
that I'll always remember
There were some unpleasantries in the
last Christmas Ball over partners
So we've decided for this Christmas Ball
no one will be admitted without a partner
Whu're you taking to the Ball
Jo Jo
Jo Jo She's getting her braces
you won't be able to kiss her
Teddy, who're you taking to the Ball
Depends
So you're here
Are you still here
Merry Christmas
Every Christmas Tingting and I give
each other a pleasant
Somehow I've totally forgotten
about it this year
I left your present at home
I'll bring it to you next time
That's okay
Just remember, don't open it until
Christmas day Like we always did
Well, that's it Bye now
Tingting
Do you want to go to the Christmas Ball with me
I can't I already agreed to go with Ho Yingchun
See you See you
Adolescents know no sorrow”
Whoever said this never knew
what it was like to be turned down for a date
I've got it
Hameng, cum in come to me
It's really working
Hurry Pretend that you're
tying your shoelaces
Damn Slippers don't have shoelaces
Who do I do
I I just saw the tortoise
It it took a tumble and went over
Just Just like this
Really
It's getting late Why are you still up
May be I really wanted someone to talk to
Or it may just be the scent of her soap
All of a sudden I felt Hameng as tender and
As understanding as an angel
What's on your mind
Yes, Tingting
She lives down the road
and she's in my class
I know, she's real pretty
So
Ho Yingchun is taking her
to the Christmas Ball
Who is this Ho Yingchun
That jerk from Form 4A
You know, Tingting is so young
It's Christmas
Even the Family Planning Association
is advising people to be careful
I know
Sit down
And you, are you going to the Christmas Ball
Sit
What does it matter if I go or not
Well, I think you should go
Cos if you didn't, there's no chance
of you taking care of Tingting
Besides, it's a school party
it doesn't matter who's going with whom
II.' I p'
There she goes again, looking at me like this
Oh Lord Who in the heavenly bodies
has sent her to me
Is it Jesus Buddha
The Bodhisattva or the Dalai Lama
Whoever he is, whoever sent her to me
I'll ho to his church tomorrow
So crabbie, you'll make her happy, won't you
Here's a new sweater for you
the one you're wearing is getting old
it's time to get a new one
Nu, it's not old It's quite okay
I'm not throwing it out I'll give it
to the garbage woman's son
Come, look at yourself It really looks good
Tingting
Merry Christmas
Thank you
Can I open it
Wait until midnight, okay
Tingting, come I have something to show you
Look Do you like it
It's a big crab
I told you to buy the biggest one
She's Cancer; I really should
have got her a Big Crab
Really Now what can I say
What is it Twisting and wriggling about;
Are you epileptic
Well, go on
That's no loner hip Follow me
There's no reason why everybody
is having such a good time
Still there're two people more
bored than I am
Why aren't you dancing
At lung last, my prayer is answered
I twisted my ankle
Are you okay
She's beginning to care about me
It hurts a bit
I wanted to ask you something
But I didn't know what to say
And now you've hurt your ankle
Oh yes
It's okay Really, it's no big deal
So are you going to dance
Yeah sure
Betsy wants to dance with you
But couldn't bring herself to ask you
Betsy
Tingting, this is our sung Come
This is really too much
What a failure
It's time to make you money's worth
I'll be your muscle
Do you want me to beat him up
No
That's the way, brother, that's the way
Betsy, I've decided that I shall only dance
with you this evening
Really
Oh, Bobu, Can I call you Bubu
Hey, Kit What do you want
What is it Sir, He punched me
What did you say I only tapped your shoulder
I learned it from American movies
it means changing partners
Teddy Tse, you'll get thrown
out of school for this time
Natassia, say something You say
Teddy only wanted to dance with you
You say something
I don't know Really
I don't know anything
What do you mean How can you say that
You saw it
Yeung Da Bu, this is none of your business
You don't have a partner
and don't you dare start making trouble
Yeung Da Bo Stop it
I've been watching you for a lung time
You behave yourself, or I'll have
you thrown out of school as well
Ma'am, I know for a fact that they're
involved with a gang
And they're running a racket
in school collecting protection money
Damn it
If there's a guilty party, that's me and me alone
Yeung Da Bo has nothing to do with it
And really, I did not throw a punch at Ho Yingkit
But Now I'm going to
Don't fight
Teddy, don't
This is a familiar scene in old
Cantonese movies
I-I' .-.
And ll was soaked to the bone
Hey Bo No hand of a ghost in the tree hole
It fits you, and it's a good sweater
You're not for real, are you
Talking to a tortoise
My dear tortoise
you must be very disappointed with me
What am I doing It's really yucky
I only want these few years
to go away as quickly as possible
When I become an adult
I won't have any more of these problems
On this Christmas Eve
Young people caused an riot in Central an
unprecedented incident in the history of Hung Kong
According to the police,
the riot was the work of a group
of frustrated young people
in the incident, the police arrested 45 people
It's spring term Teddy has gone
Tingting and Ho Yingchun are becoming
really close and corny
But fortunately
I still have a glimmer of hope
The crab is small, but sometimes small thing
comes in pretty handy
Dad's gold fish are still there
Though they're all replacements
Laikau has become very strange
She's always on the phone
I think she's reached puberty
The same goes for Hameng
Throwing this look at me again
So pure and innocent, My God
ls tomorrow day shift or night shift
It's day shift, right
I don't know much about these things
you'll have to teach me
You'll be okay
Hameng is going dubbing with Dad
I I want to go too
Actually, it's quite simple
Just follow the movements
of the mouth Let me show you
You're smart, you'll do okay, Let's do it
I really like to have dinner here
But the landlady is such a lousy cock
So sometimes there can be a problem
That's not what I said
You talk too much
Don't talk with your mouth full, that's what Dad said
Dad, I want to go too
I want to watch you making a living
So you're interested too
Okay, let's all go
What are we dubbing tomorrow
I don't know
The foreman called and said he wanted a girl
who speaks Mandarin
so I asked you
That's all there is to it, my dear
I like going to the movies myself
That movie Somewhere in Time
I saw it four times
Don't hate me Beg me
Darling, I want more
Stop NG
Can you loosen up a bit
She's having a good time, really enjoying it
You make her sounds likes she's
really sick and suffering
Everyone's reaction is different, you know
That I don't care Just do it according to the images
Okay, from the top
I'm sorry I didn't know
we'd be dubbing this kind of stuff
That's okay
Come on More
I should be really turned on by these images
But the sound of Dad and Hameng doing it
Really bother me, it's terrible
Do you like this Sun, come with me
Darling
Darling
I'm not eating roast pork today
can I have yours instead
These two are for the family;
I'll let you have it if you were my family
Ain't I Some other day
These're the only two better lunch boxes
left You got to be quick
I had to fight my way to get them
Let's eat, Come
Yeung Chu-chang, guess who
Even if you didn't say a word,
Your perfume would have given you away Hi, Fox
Well, aren't you something
My dear, you're always on my heart
This is my sun
So it is for this son
that you got married in such a hurry
If you hadn't been in such a hurry
He could have been our sun
Hey, Sexy, you mind your mouth
That's what I am
You're frightening the kid
Let's be serious I have something to say to you
What is it
Let's talk outside Outside
If Hameng wasn't there with us
I would be throwing up
Let me give your some of this, okay
Give me anything, give me rat poison
And I'll gladly put into my stomach
"I. 'Ii-ii
It feels so good
Back there when Fox's
Pressing her chest against you,
Did you Have a hard-on
Just a little, a little
No
That's very upright of you
So I'm upright
What about you
Flirting with all those women
Now I get it It's all because
of you that I'm perverted
It's all a matter of genetics
What is it Always hanging up on me
Hello, is Yeung Chu-chang there
Nu, he's not Who's calling
Who is it
She hangs up again
I'm going to Auntie Lang's, I'd be right back
I'm sure that was Fox;
Something's going on
I've been suspecting him for some time
Durex
Evidence Evidence of my Dad's crime
Don't hate me, just beg me
It can't be My Dad isn't that kind of person
That must be an explanation to it
But if there's nothing between him and Fox
Why is he carrying all these condoms
Come to think of it, Fox may not be the only one
There may be a Miss A
And a Miss B
And
I have an important announcement to make
Shit Mum also knows about it
Now the family is going to fall apart
I'm going to find a part-time job
So that's all
The family will not be affected
We'll still be having dinner at 7
I'll do the shopping for you
So if I come home earlier from school
There'd be no one at home except
Hameng and myself It's great
If no one objects to it, then it's settled
If anyone has any objections, let's hear it
Silence means objection
Mum, I'm 100% behind you
That's only one vote, what about the others
If you're against it
say it This is a democratic family
Democracy I mean, democracy
Of course it's democracy
You're the people, and I'm the lord
So it's settled
Good In fact I've already found a job
And I'm starting tomorrow
Guess what I found
I'm helping out at the luck shop
in Bo's school
u,' n'?
From now on we can go to schoo and come home
together, isn't that nice
Be frank, tell her
Tell her that you'll lose face your classmates
will tease you, Go on
MumSince you're peddling fish balls,
why don't you do it in sister's school
Let's get some cakes,
No We don't want to miss roll call Let's go
I'm talking about cakes, your favourite
Nu, thank you
The teacher's coming Let's go
Over there
Lang, is that form 2A in the playground
What do I care who they are
They're all animals You'll find out
when they rush down for their soda
Will there be enough for everybody
I've prepared a few more, just in case
We'll take a five-minutes break
But stay away from the tuck shop
I heard a whistle Dues that mean class is over
Lang, is this your invoice
Oh yes
Good They're nice and cold
That was fun
D what a great dunk
What That's your Mum
A nice cold soda for you, sun
What can I do for you Ma'am
Auntie, class isn't over
I'm terribly sorry
I'll save them for you
I'm sorry
Ho Yingchun's mother is the vice
chairman of the Rotary Club
My Mum sells fish balls in school
Your Mum's working in the tuck shop That's great
We'll get bigger fish balls
You're going to take care of your
good friend, aren't you.
"M. lb.'
It's your Mum Well So
It's okay You can learn
Come on
Besty, Let's go to a movie
Okay I'm so happy You're asking me to a movie
What movie
It's up to you
And we'll have dinner aftenuards
UP to you
I'll do whatever you say, okay
Bo
Do you
not like Mum working
No I It's not that I don't like you working
You're afraid that your classmates will tease you
No
I just I just want you to treat me like the others
And don't wait for me after school
That's okay I'll treat you like the others
Now go to sleep
Mum, Do you understand what I'm saying
Just remember that I'm not your sun at school
Please remember
Hameng has a boyfriend
Really
Have you seen him Of course
What does he look like
What do you expect People who go to those places
No He's cool
He takes Hameng home in a Mercedez
A Mercedez Sounds like a big shut
So how big is he
Stop gossiping
Last night you said Uncle Wong
was keeping a mistress
I don't want to talk about this any more
Children eat, adults talk Now Hush Shut up
The way you look at me
You know I'll do it for you
Can I talk to Mr Chan Saimei please
Hang on
Hello Saimei Why don't you call me
You know you can't me at home
I'm sorry, but I miss you
You shouldn't be doing this to yourself
not for any man
Because I know in my heart
No man on earth is good enough for you
Of course I'm going to help you You're my friend
Have some meat
You never had a meal with a girl
Your friend looks depressed Is it the food No
Then have some vegetables
I'll go get the soup
Give me a break It's his first time
It won't take am minute
Done It's settled
Maybe it's really not such a good idea
Are you kidding It's all settled
I don't think so
How many times have I talked to you about it
You're 14 years old
You're a man, and a man has his needs
People used to push you around in school
After this they'll all look at you differently
But she's your girl
And I'm your friend
It doesn't seem right
Hey, you're paying for it This isn't free
You are my friend , that's why I trust you
I mean, who else can I trust
Besides, even if you don't do it with her
someone else will
Friends makes things easy
You won't feel embarrassed or anything
We're friends You help her, she helps me
and I help you
We help one another, right
I don't know if I really understood
what Teddy was saying
In any case, I was too curious
After dinner, dessert
Now be a good student
Relax Let me show you
Don't worry about me
What do you want
I know This is your first time
You're nervous, aren't you
Now relax
What are you doing Do you want to do it
What Speak up, I can't hear you
Try Try a little
How to try a little
You're too nervous Wait until next time
Can't do it
Don't push it too hard
Let me show you
You're weird
I'm more handsome
Work hard
Dun'! PEEP
I don't know why Teddy and I become friends
I don't think he's a bad person
Like most people, he also needs friends
Sure he ran a racket in school
But that's the only way he knows to make friends
Lately he's been looking dreadful
I didn't ask him if he was sick or something
intuitively, I thought it has to do with his whoring
That was a really romantic movie
“a I-"II-
Bu, do you think that could be our ending
I never thought I 'd be dating Betsy
She's only eleven, and already overdoing it
What can I get you
Pineapple ice
And for the little girl
That won't be necessary We're sharing one drink
Do we also have to share one bed
Miss Yes
Can I have two straws please
Going out with Betsy has one good point
I don't have to say much
Cos she's doing all the talking
lfl don't, I'll get some contact lenses
She gives me time to reflect
On the things that are happening around me
Is it good
I forbid you from now on to hang out
with Yeung Da Bo
Yeung Da Bo Who is he
Saimei, let set this tortoise free, okay
What do you say
Are you sure The tortoise is a secret
between you and Bo
Understand He's a kid I was just kidding him
What is the most famous farm product of India
Yeung Da Bu, answer the question
Sir, I know the answer
Yeng Wan Puchiu, you answer the question
It's curried potato
That's correct
Bu, have a soda
You're seating a! over, here
Look Your nose's running all over Here, clean it
Step mother will forgive this time;
But if I catch you bullying Shiu Bo again,
I'll lock you out
Shui Bo tickle him
Whafre you doing It's me
Nut Fung Bo Bo
Even if it's fantasy, it doesn't have
so stray so far away from the reality
Hello Dolby How come you know my number
Who am I
VVhafs wrong You called me 8=amp
you don't know who I am
I am Yeung Da Bu, your classmate
Laikau You know her
It's my call Give it to me
Boyfriend She's only eleven
She's only a kid You're an animal
What' re you doing
I'll never speak to you again
But I'm right Ain't I
Wait a minute You're going steady
with an 11 years old too
I just don't want other people to make
the same mistakes I did Hey
It's getting more & more difficult to be
a member of the Yeung family
n-n-I 'It
Do you want some banana
I won't talk to my Dad
Cos he's committing adultery with Fox
Mum ignores me at school
And Hameng
Kind of ignores everybody
Are you sure you're not going to uncle's
home to have dinner
Let me cock you something
Did his dad die
We have to be more concerned about Bo
How
The way you're concerned about the gold fish
What is it Why' re you Whispering again
Your brother has cancer
I'm not kidding
No more fouling around
No more fouling around
I know I've bee a real failure recently
The people around me are actually nice to me
But I'm still unhappy Why
Am I too demanding
Am I though on others and soft on myself
Home at last, Come into my room
Now this is really too much
Don't go Take off your shoes
You take off your clothes, I'm leaving
Please don't
No I got to go I have to report to my wife
Saimei, please don't go
Saimei,
Come back
Don't leave me here
Saimei
Alright, you
You're a real pervert, aren't you
Just kidding
Don't get mad Can't you take a joke
Giving up Are you sure
Finally I come to realize the first truth about love
If you really like someone
you don't go to bed with her easily
But with someone you hardly know,
There's no harm
So I decided to give Teddy a call
Hello, can I talk to Tse Yin please
This is Yeung Da Bo
Something terrible has happened
His granny said he's in the hospital
He has leukemia
Tse Yin asked me to give you this
before he passed away
Dear Bo, I am giving you back
your protection money
We are friends, and friends don't
haggle over money
Granny, can I have a photograph of Tse Yin
That's nice I always thought he was a loner
That he didn't have any friends
I am so happy to know that
you're his friend
I never thought someone this young
can die so suddenly
But I think his death has something
to do with his whoring
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun,
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
Really She's broken up
with Ho Yingchun
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
Really She's broken up with Ho Yingchun
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
It's all over school
Could it be because of me
Tingting
She's sitting right there
where I always pass by on my way home
Her intention can't be more obvious, can it
Why're you sitting here
Nothing Nothing
Then why're you sitting here looking dopey
Just say I'm waiting for someone
That's more like it No need to be subtle
Maybe I'm waiting for you
Yeah Be frank about it
Waiting for me Do you have problem
with your homework
No
She's not making sense
she doesn't know what's she talking about
Now I have her under my thumb
Press her, make her tell the truth
So, what is it
I've been waiting for you to say this for so lung
Tingting
Tingting I'm sorry
I can't live without you
I love you
Tingting
Please don't do this, please
Let's talk it over, okay
I don't think we have anything to talk about
Yeung Da Bu, talk to her
You and Tingting are good friendsT, alk to her on my behalf
I never thought Ho Yingchun
the darling of everybody
Would be begging me, like a dog without a home
Will you stop this Can you act like a man
Good Scold him Scold him good
Let's go
Tingting What're you doing
Tingting, don't leave me
You're hurting me
Let go of me Let go
It's none of your business, leave us alone
ll“- u-
Stay cool and let it blow over,
I've successfully protected
her Victory is mine
Maybe I'll get a kiss
Why did you punch him
lOh buy, I really screwed up
Are you okay
Blood What
Superman
Tingting, I'm sorry to be late
Let's go to a movie
Tingting
How can you do such a thing
Well, what about it
You have this on and off thing
with Ho Yingchun,
And now you and Dolby
Dolby and I are just
Well, so what
It's none of your business anyway
None of my business
Why should it be any of your business
Because because I'm your friend
I-‘ fl-'Fl
Okay
If it had been somebody else,
I really couldn't care less
Tingting, I have something to ask you
Do you love me
I I don't know
You don't know How can you not know
I really don't
Then how come You go out with one guy
at one time, And another guy at another
I really don't know I don't know
Everything is I don't know Well I don't know
I always thought girls are more mature
But I was wrung
They go out with this guy
then they go out with that guy;
It looks like they're playing with us
But in fact they don't know what they are doing
They're also going around in circles
Examination time again
I worked really hard for it
I wanted good results
But Mr Fang had a disaster
He got a zero
Miss Lu, whom he wanted, ls now Mrs Yuen
As for myself, though I tried my very best,
My results were even more miserable then last year's
So I began to understand that what you sow
and what you get can be very different
Do you remember there used to be
a creek down there
There're a lot of tadpoles in it
Yeah And there was this tree
that shed its leaves in summer
And you used to scare Tingting
with some haunted stories
That they so crowded the tree
that its leaves began to fall
Now I know why its leaves fall in summer
Why
Because a lot of people take their dogs
out in summer,
And all the dogs piss on the tree,
And drown it
Bullshit Dug piss is top-grade fertilizer
Did I drag you out and make life
difficult for you and Chu
There's something about you
that I'm not totally happy about
What is it
You're not nice to your Mum
Even Kwan is more mature than I am
Even Kwan's grown up
When you were a kid and I wanted
to take you to the doctor
You always wanted me to bring you here
for a western meal
In those days, I could never have a meal
in piece and quiet
Cos you were always all over the place,
Or pulling the hair of the guy sitting
in the next booth,
See that guy That's how he lust all his hair
And I thought, one day if you could
buy me a meal here
I'd be the happiest guy on earth
Bu, are you mad at Dad
Dad, one time I found some condoms
in your briefcase
So
Do you have something going on with Fox
Fox did a movie and wanted me to talk
to the distributors,
That's why she's been calling me
What about the condoms
That's Dad'sAnd Mum's business
You and Mum are still doing it
Hey, we're not old people
But you do it at home,
Why are you carrying them in your briefcase
You're a big man now, and I'll tell you
There're these crazy colour condoms
that are really in vogue
And grown-ups like to carry a couple
n their pockets
They're status symbols, you know
I'm your old man, I have to carry a few
I'm a matter of face
I not only carry them in my pocket
I keep a bundle in my briefcase
Open my briefcase, people see them,
and are shocked out of their wits
They think I'm a big shot
Did you ever use them
You're so unobservant, how come you're my son
Didn't you ever look at them
They're all wrinkled, dried up, expired
they're museum pieces
You can't use them
Waiter
What can I get you, sir
The check, please
Yes sir
Dad, let me do it You
I didn't quite believe what he told me
But I saw him trying so hard,
That all of sudden I realized that none
of this was important any more;
Cos Dad was treating me as his equal
I think you still have a few familial
problems to be taken care of
You mean Mum and Sis
Of course, I'll let you in on a few secrets
about being a man
What are they There aren't any
If there were, your Mum won't be your Mum
What does that mean
It means be creative
If I had the answer, I'd e getting you
a new Mum every year
You first
Okay Let's be friends again
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Open it All right
Thank you, Dad
Don't thank me You know I'm
against expensive gifts
thank your Mum She makes the money for it
Working in the tuck shop
Mum
I'm sorry
No need to say sorry
If you're going to say anything
you should say Thank you
Thank you Mum
Look at you You're a big buy now
and still behaving like a kid
Come, give Mum a hand
Laikau, Hameng is leaving
Hameng, please don't go
Yeah Don't go
Why do you move
Good-bye Good-bye
Are you all packed Yes
Good-bye, Good-bye, Laikau
Bye bye
Laikau will miss you
Come back and visit us when you've time
Come stay with us again
Good-bye Good-bye
We didn't hear much about
Hameng after she left
We learned from the newspaper
that she took part in the
1st New Talent Singing Contest
and she lust to Anita Mui
Then we heard she went back to Taiwan
But the tortoise is still with us
watching over me
though a really tumultuous time
The Star Ferry raised its fare by 5 cents
And it caused a riot; and it was massive
To me personally, it was the most
significant event in my life
The ferry's suspended its service, 8=amp
my Dad used that as an excuse
To spend the night in my future mum's place
So on the one hand the police were beating the shit
out of the demonstrators around the Star Ferry
Ina. I-m-u
Nine months later I was born
Granny said my Mum didn't have enough milk,
and asked my Dad to get me a wet nurse
He must be thinking he's
going to get a taste himself
Big busts He employed her
Time for lunch
I was a smart kid I knew everything
about sex since day one
For most babies, the 1st word they learn to
say is either Mama or Papa
I was a little different,
I had better penetration about such things
Titty
So when I was old enough to go to school
my Dad gave me
This Nom de Esme', Shing Bo (teats gazer)
Yeung Da Bo, your Mum's here to pick you up
Here's Mum
On their first day of school
most kids cried their eyes out
Well I didn't
I loved school, especially the teachers
It could be the teachers were
really too nice to me
Everybody g0 Play
“I. pail'
His name is Mo Shan Kuan
We met each other in kindergarten
A major cause of our great friendship
was that we liked different things
We never fought over toys
Thank God he liked Barbie
It would be a disaster if he liked Ken
We have another pal She's Tingting
and she live on the same block
We always treated her well Because, poor thing
She's a disabled person
Come line up And quit fouling around
Look She isn't got what we all got
Time flies
Before I knew it I was on the threshold of Life
On the morning of September 1, 1981
I saw, I saw so many things
Now get out of bed The holidays are over
you understand
She's my Mum
Yeung Kwan Pochiu She always
takes me for a kid
Mum, I'm getting out of bed
So get out of bed
Mum, I don't have any pants on
Big deal, so you don't have any pants on
I'm your Mum What do you got that
I am not ever seen before
lfl get out of bed right this minute
I may still make it
Dad should be still sleeping
My Dad-Yeung Chu-chang (hard-on)
He's a dubbing artist
He usually works at night
This is how he usually looks in the morning
You always have to use the bathroom
when I want to use it
She's my sister
My sister Laikau is only 11
But she's already acquired
a woman's characteristic
She just can't wait
Stop banging on the door You're
on the outside, you'll never understand
I have just experienced the most
dramatic moment of an adolescent
I now have the ability to be someone's father
People told me that when a man put his member
into a certain hollow area in the female anatomy
There'll be a baby
So the next time I see a woman's belly button
dimple or nostril
I should get a hold of myself
If not there'd be disaster
Kuan, come in and have some breakfast
That's what this stink told me
What's the hurry
The two of us and Tingting have
always been a threesome
Her Mum lives in China She tried to cross the
border a few times, but she never made it
Her Dad's a fireman and he has
to be on duty at odd hours
So he lets Tingting hang out with us
Frankly, I never considered Tingting a girl
But things began to change when I started From 1
my hormones have undergone a tremendous transformation
There's a hand of a ghost down there Stop
Next time I'll sew the button back on for you
Shall we go
It's a pity that she went to her uncle's
place for summer vacation
I got it, at lung last
I woke up this morning
What is it like
It's likeWas that thick
Come look, Bo's got it Come look
Bo's got it
You got it Did you dream about Miss Yu
Were you scared Did you call out for your Mom
Let's take off his pants and have a look
Comecume This is Teddy
He's been in Form 2 for three lung years
There's no sin being short
Still you don't want to be bullied around
You know my charges, right
$20 a month
I guarantee that from now on no one will bully you
You got a problem with it
Tingting
Tingting, where're your glasses
Boys Hi
The ugly duckling has really turned into a swan
Let me help you
This
I'm I'm going
This one's even more handsome
Hi I saw you attending our Astronomy Club meeting;
Nut that many girls are interested in astronomy
I like to look at the stars
They have such beautiful stories
Stars I've known Tingting since
she was eights months old,
I never knew she likes looking at stars
That's wonderful I have a telescope
at home in the garden
Specifically for looking at stars
are you interested
Don't overdo it
Tingting, we're going to get some cakes
are you coming
You guys g0 al0f19
Someone just stole your girl friend
Don't be ridiculous VVhaflre you talking about
I never looked at her as my girl friend
Don't you have no shame
How can you say such a thing
But you're no match for Ho Ying Chun;
He's a prefect, a member of the debate
team captain of the basketball team
The monitor of his class, a fifth former
A perfect and a class monitor, big deal
You're feeling inferior That's something I'll never do
Why doesn't it open The best thing about
buddies is you can scream at them
The best thing about screaming at people is that
it masks your extreme sense of inferiority
Yeung Da Bu, for you attempt to
vandalize school property,
You'll receive the punishment of
cleaning all the blackboards
My name is Wong, James Wong
We have two new teachers this semester
This one is The Killer
My philosophy of education is
based on one single belief:
Human beings are burnEvil
To change from evil to good
meaning to change from bad to good,
We need discipline
You Wearing a necktie and not buttoning up
to be punished
You Your hair's not long enough
or short enough, to be punished
You think you can get away by
pretending to be good
You What kind of a gesture is this
What kind of a gesture is it
Sir, this is called yawning
Exactly This is called yawning
Why do people yawn Dues anybody know
Cos they want to go to sleep
Exactly From now on it's forbidden
Whose seat is it
Teddy Tse's
Teddy ?
Teddy is used to coming and going as he pleases.
But The Killer is going to make him change all that
Sir, aren't you gonna punish him for being late
What do you have to say about being late
Sir, push this button and you can speak
What do you have to say about being late
What do I have to say
Have you started teaching, Sir.
Nu, not yet
That means I'm not late
Can I share your book
Who ordered iced tea and Spam and egg noodles
Right here
This is a real pain
9 dollars 80 cents
Sir, can I burrow $200 to tip the man
That won't be necessary Forget it
A black mark Detention and clean up
all the toilets, Satisfied
Satisfied
The other new teacher is a woman
called Sensitive Plant
She's really shy
There must be a reason
why she's such an introvert
Let Let us turn to Chinese
Literature Lesson 1
'in- "_ 'l
Should have moved over a lung time ago
Lu Mo
“Zen” The word is pronounced Zen
Let us turn to lesson 1
Shouldn't that be pronounced Sai
Really Her old man must have been a real joker
to give her such a name: Lo Mo Zen
People always call her Lo Mo Sai
(Mother's private parts)
Is this name a memorial to something
Teacher, let me read
This is a small painting
It was painted by Ma Mengrung
A green blind occupies the left upper corner
it was sparse & long
I didn't know where I got the courage
But I saved Miss Lu
And I was duly rewarded for my good deed
Such heavy work, let me do it
No You clean your toilets
Would I be here if I hadn't finished my toilets
I take your money, and I do your work, right
Rub
I got detention 8=amp
had to clean up the blackboards;
Still, it's been a meaningful day
Cos I cos
Cos I found out that I really dig Tingting
Let's go look at the stars
You're really beautiful today
What's wrung with these fishes today
They don't pay attention to me like they used to
This Red Cap should have a white spot in his left eye
Dad must have secretly replaced a new fish
Recently I'm beginning to wonder that my clad really
doesn't know anything about keeping an aquarium
Laikau is smarter than I am
She's given up on him ages ago
But I still idolize him
Chow time
Did I feed you too well
Starting today, you can only have
half a bowl of rice, no
I don't want it
Stop it
That's what Goldfish Bing said A gold fish
is just like a woman
Woman, you shouldn't feed them too well
Goldfish Bing
What did you talk to goldfish Bing about
You're beginning to talk like him
Goldfish Bing likes women &
he doesn't care what age they are
Yes He screwed the niece of the
grocery store owner
He also screwed the aunt of
Mrs Wong upstairs
It's not her aunt, it's her great aunt
Young lady, mind your own business
That's what you said when
Auntie Lang came to dinner
All you do is gossip Look at your
own son he's depressed
All you do is gossip
What's up Are you sick
Don't ask me so many questions
Why are you shhhshhhing all evening
Have a piece of curried potato
You eat a potato, you give birth to a potato
Don't laugh No matter what they say
do not laugh
Once you laugh, they'd think you're okay
Mum, you should have some more
So what's on your mind
You know your Dad is democratic
Wait I go first
I want to take ballet lessons
No Why do you want to be so westernized
It's be okay if you'd started as a child
Now you're too old
I've been asking you about ballet
lessons since primary four
Before I was too young, now I am too old
And you call yourself democratic Bullshit
Do you know what democracy means
It means you are the people and I'm the lord
The lord will obey the people No
The people will obey the lord
In short, we don't have the money for it
Now go back to your dinner
No money for it Well you better not let me
catch you buying brother a video camera
We can think of a way
VVhat're you talking about
Don't change the subject
Don't you know I'm depressed
Wun't you please care about me
I've been dumped
Do we have space to rent to other people
Sure we do Don't we have a store room upstairs
All we have to do is to clean it up a bit
The question is Auntie Lang's relative is
an object by the name of “goddaughter”
I don't think it's a good idea to have
a girl live on the roof
An object by the name of “goddaughter”
Now life is becoming meaningful again
Don't interrupt, let Mum talk
I don't want her to live on the roof
I think I'll let her have Bo's room
and have Bo move upstairs
This morning, on my son's bed, found
He's grown up He's got that
What
You're his father You go talk to him
Talk to him about what
All the newspapers and columns are
advising young people against it
It causes impairment in hearing
loss of appetite & interest in school
You go talk to him
Okay But this is not the way to go about it
Nah I don't think it needs to be discussed
I mean, he'll get bored with it soon enough
No This thing's going to stifle his growth
Because of that,
I become a short person
It only happened this morning, and already
everybody in the family knows about it
There's absolutely no privacy
whatsoever in this family
That thing that I'm going to talk to you
ls in fact my specialty
I started doing it when I was 12 or 13
This thing that I'm talking about
it may be somewhat unusual for a beginner,
It may even be a bit unnerving
But with time and practice
you'll get used to it in no time
I wonder if Dad has contracted some
kind of professional malaise
Every time he has to address a thorny issue,
He speaks in falsetto
Actually he's an expert
Why aren't you laughing
Nothing We'll talk again
You Mum
She's worried that you won't
concentrate on your school work
So Cut down on your waning
Ovary, the female reproduction organ
Good Hut stuff
Is he really going to draw it
Looks like a bull's head
Dues anybody know what it is
Is it an ear
Thank God I'm not the only one
to mistake it for something else
Ear The ear is here
This isovary
I' ll n,
Why don't you draw us the whole picture
We don't know what they are
Looks like a mahjong table
No It's Six Gods Coming together
No wonder he's called Mr Fung (Square)
I suppose the future Mrs Fung will be just as square,
And she'll have an enormous ovary
Your textbooks have arrived You can collect
them at the administrative office
I have good news
I got permission from my Mum to
go out on Mid-autumn Festival
That's great We can go see a movie
have dinner & midnight snacks
Whafre we going to see Sex in Denmark”
In the entire world, only women in
HK don't shave their armpits
Experts say that the armpits are a woman's
most sensitive spots
I don't have that kind of an analytical ability
All I know is, if I couldn't get a real one
I'll make do with a fake one
Even better than Sex in Denmark
Let's go
Look
Thank you
Teddy
What a coincidence
Did you also come to see the movie Yeah
Great stuff from Denmark
Look Look at a“ this food
Yeah It's really swell
What can I get you, Miss
Fried noodles with beef, but hold
the noodle Hold the noodles
No wonder he falls asleep in class every day
What a tough life for a student
Cups
Help me and gather the stuff
Sorry Come again next time
I'll wait for you over there
How lung have you been doing this
Almost two years
I wouldn't be able to stand it
I have a seventy-year-old grandmother at home;
Who's going to make a living for the two of us
Tough, man it's a tough life
This is Miss Mao
This is Kuan, and this is Bo They're my buddies
You're not shy, are you This is my girl
I go to school just to keep granny happy
You got any plans
To open a flower shop A flower shop
Eat your peanuts And stop daydreaming
Do you guys know every time someone dies,
How much people spend on flowers and wreathes
I'd make a fortune
So that's the kind of florist you want to become
to open a shop right next to
I'd be equally happy with a shop inside a hospital
I do business with both the living and the dead
& I'll let the woman take care of the
natty gritty side of business
As for myself, I just put my feet up
on the table and collect money
Start talking when you have
saved up enough money
Hey, I'm serious
I got to go Don't stay up too late
Business is rotten today,
I don't have any money
Since today's Mid-Autumn
I'll do it for free
Free
Teddy's only three or four years older than I am
While I'm still asking my old man for money
Already he has big ideas
starting his own business
And he has a woman
I turn all red when I see a girl,
And he
Buy, how great it is to grow up
You must be Bo
I'm sorry You dad gave me a set of keys
And asked me to come up here by myself
I didn't know which was my room
So I just left my stuff here
So you are the lodger
My name is Cheung Hameng
Your tortoise's run away, let me fetch him
Nu, that's okay Let him run around a bit
Besides, I don't like to lock him up
That's why she doesn't close the door
when she's taking a leak
This is a full-grown tortoise
he can take care of himself
Let me help you
The 2 persons who initially were most
against the idea of taking
in a lodger are now entirely of a different opinion
Poor Mum, she hasn't noticed a thing
And she's happy mo,
cos Dad's been coming home for dinner more often
Your beauty is known all over Happy Valley
most lovely sisters Really
What beautiful flowers What more
Vain women, haven't you heard
Goldfish Bing is a whuremunger
Who do you think you are
The Neon Sisters Or call girls
The newspaper says Hameng grow
Taiwan is performing in a cabaret
Where did you get all these dirty newspapers
I specifically bought them Is that all
Yes, that's all They're all here Very good
Where're you going To the loo
So this is the scent of women
Laikau always makes a fuss over nothing
Something goes wrong
and she comes running for me
Over the years I have killed numerous spiders
cockroaches, rats and what not for her
Brother is here Let me help you
No It's none of your business Just go get Mum
h-III-I-III-II-
Who do you think I am I'm your brother
Open the door
Mum, don't let brutherCome in here
What on earth are you doing
Are we still a family or what
Carefree and natural , happy as an angel;
Big Joy sanitary napkins Think not about eternity
Just make sure that you have them every month
The Miss Hung Kong Beauty Pageant this year
is solely sponsored by Big Joy sanitary napkins
Now even my kid sister has grown up
And she won't play with me any more
So, the end of this family Finite
Let me dream that dream again
let me dream that dream again
Hold it Hold it
People say, by sheer will power
it's possible to dream the same dream again
Wonder if it's true for wet dreams
Let me dream that dream again
Of course it isn't true
Let me dream that dream again
I told you not to eat so much for lunch
Now you're falling asleep
What's going on We're in the middle of a class
That's him Composition That's his idea
He created it to torture us
Now, fix him
But he's not the real culprit
It's her She set's up the time table
This should be siesta time
and she wants us to write compositions
What do we do with her
We ask her questions see how knowledgeable she is
Who's the president of Bangladesh
Who is he Answer Robert Buy
Wrong Strip
Dear Principal, when' re you going to die
I don't know
Dear Principal
how many McDonalds are there in HK
How many fries are there in one
Large French Fries
I don't know
What are the seating and standing
capacities of the Star Ferry
I don't know
Let me ask her
VVhafs the serial number of my $10 bill
I don't know
Oh shit A wet dream
Ten seconds left Who's next
Ten nine eight
I'll ask her
Let me raise the question Forget it
Don't ask any more, wake up
Please don't I'm going to make a fool of myself
I'm finished
Sir, Yeung Da Bo isn't feeling well today
That's why he's not quite himself
I'm taking him to the sick room
Can you get up Barely
Can't you control yourself
Wait until you get home
The Astronomy Club is kind
of quiet these days
Why don't we come to my place after school
and see what we can do about it
Wait here
Bu, Are you okay
May be you should see a doctor
Or should I call your mother
and ask her to pick you up
You just leave me alone
What is it Nothing
Bo is sick
I told you I'm okay
Go on The guy is waiting for you
I-I n 'U,'
Good I'll call my Dad
There's no need
I won't need you even if I'm dying
You ejaculated in class
Man, that's serious shit
I remember seeing some ads
they cure for premature ejaculation
Let me go with you
Will you leave me alone
I won't You can't go on like this
It's going to get worse.
And it'll get more frequent
It'll happen when you're riding the bus
when you're queuing up;
Think of the poor guy standing in front of you
You're nuts Totally insane
They're back
Oh boy Why does Dad look so mad
Has he found out what happened in school
It doesn't make sense Can they figure out
what happened just looking at my face
Good morning, Uncle, Good night, Auntie
Bu, Tingting's mother tried to swim
to Hung Kong and she drowned
Tingting's disappeared after she's heard the news
You're such good friends, will you go look for her
To be honest, I don't have a clue
where Tingting has gone
But my legs just carried me
to where we always went when we were kids
She's always wanted to see her mum
She wanted her mother to take her to places
To go shopping, to go to restaurants
I can't imagine what's going to happen
to her now that her mother's gone
I'm I'm sorry
I didn't mean to lose my temper
at you today at school
I know
It's getting cold...
The leaves have all fallen
and I still haven't sewed your button
That's our first kiss
But that was that We never ever talked
about it again
to this day I still don't understand
Is it because she was feeling unhappy
Or is it because she did like me a little
Well, the world moves in mysterious ways
But in any case, this is a moment
that I'll always remember
There were some unpleasantries in the
last Christmas Ball over partners
So we've decided for this Christmas Ball
no one will be admitted without a partner
Whu're you taking to the Ball
Jo Jo
Jo Jo She's getting her braces
you won't be able to kiss her
Teddy, who're you taking to the Ball
Depends
So you're here
Are you still here
Merry Christmas
Every Christmas Tingting and I give
each other a pleasant
Somehow I've totally forgotten
about it this year
I left your present at home
I'll bring it to you next time
That's okay
Just remember, don't open it until
Christmas day Like we always did
Well, that's it Bye now
Tingting
Do you want to go to the Christmas Ball with me
I can't I already agreed to go with Ho Yingchun
See you See you
Adolescents know no sorrow”
Whoever said this never knew
what it was like to be turned down for a date
I've got it
Hameng, cum in come to me
It's really working
Hurry Pretend that you're
tying your shoelaces
Damn Slippers don't have shoelaces
Who do I do
I I just saw the tortoise
It it took a tumble and went over
Just Just like this
Really
It's getting late Why are you still up
May be I really wanted someone to talk to
Or it may just be the scent of her soap
All of a sudden I felt Hameng as tender and
As understanding as an angel
What's on your mind
Yes, Tingting
She lives down the road
and she's in my class
I know, she's real pretty
So
Ho Yingchun is taking her
to the Christmas Ball
Who is this Ho Yingchun
That jerk from Form 4A
You know, Tingting is so young
It's Christmas
Even the Family Planning Association
is advising people to be careful
I know
Sit down
And you, are you going to the Christmas Ball
Sit
What does it matter if I go or not
Well, I think you should go
Cos if you didn't, there's no chance
of you taking care of Tingting
Besides, it's a school party
it doesn't matter who's going with whom
II.' I p'
There she goes again, looking at me like this
Oh Lord Who in the heavenly bodies
has sent her to me
Is it Jesus Buddha
The Bodhisattva or the Dalai Lama
Whoever he is, whoever sent her to me
I'll ho to his church tomorrow
So crabbie, you'll make her happy, won't you
Here's a new sweater for you
the one you're wearing is getting old
it's time to get a new one
Nu, it's not old It's quite okay
I'm not throwing it out I'll give it
to the garbage woman's son
Come, look at yourself It really looks good
Tingting
Merry Christmas
Thank you
Can I open it
Wait until midnight, okay
Tingting, come I have something to show you
Look Do you like it
It's a big crab
I told you to buy the biggest one
She's Cancer; I really should
have got her a Big Crab
Really Now what can I say
What is it Twisting and wriggling about;
Are you epileptic
Well, go on
That's no loner hip Follow me
There's no reason why everybody
is having such a good time
Still there're two people more
bored than I am
Why aren't you dancing
At lung last, my prayer is answered
I twisted my ankle
Are you okay
She's beginning to care about me
It hurts a bit
I wanted to ask you something
But I didn't know what to say
And now you've hurt your ankle
Oh yes
It's okay Really, it's no big deal
So are you going to dance
Yeah sure
Betsy wants to dance with you
But couldn't bring herself to ask you
Betsy
Tingting, this is our sung Come
This is really too much
What a failure
It's time to make you money's worth
I'll be your muscle
Do you want me to beat him up
No
That's the way, brother, that's the way
Betsy, I've decided that I shall only dance
with you this evening
Really
Oh, Bobu, Can I call you Bubu
Hey, Kit What do you want
What is it Sir, He punched me
What did you say I only tapped your shoulder
I learned it from American movies
it means changing partners
Teddy Tse, you'll get thrown
out of school for this time
Natassia, say something You say
Teddy only wanted to dance with you
You say something
I don't know Really
I don't know anything
What do you mean How can you say that
You saw it
Yeung Da Bu, this is none of your business
You don't have a partner
and don't you dare start making trouble
Yeung Da Bo Stop it
I've been watching you for a lung time
You behave yourself, or I'll have
you thrown out of school as well
Ma'am, I know for a fact that they're
involved with a gang
And they're running a racket
in school collecting protection money
Damn it
If there's a guilty party, that's me and me alone
Yeung Da Bo has nothing to do with it
And really, I did not throw a punch at Ho Yingkit
But Now I'm going to
Don't fight
Teddy, don't
This is a familiar scene in old
Cantonese movies
I-I' .-.
And ll was soaked to the bone
Hey Bo No hand of a ghost in the tree hole
It fits you, and it's a good sweater
You're not for real, are you
Talking to a tortoise
My dear tortoise
you must be very disappointed with me
What am I doing It's really yucky
I only want these few years
to go away as quickly as possible
When I become an adult
I won't have any more of these problems
On this Christmas Eve
Young people caused an riot in Central an
unprecedented incident in the history of Hung Kong
According to the police,
the riot was the work of a group
of frustrated young people
in the incident, the police arrested 45 people
It's spring term Teddy has gone
Tingting and Ho Yingchun are becoming
really close and corny
But fortunately
I still have a glimmer of hope
The crab is small, but sometimes small thing
comes in pretty handy
Dad's gold fish are still there
Though they're all replacements
Laikau has become very strange
She's always on the phone
I think she's reached puberty
The same goes for Hameng
Throwing this look at me again
So pure and innocent, My God
ls tomorrow day shift or night shift
It's day shift, right
I don't know much about these things
you'll have to teach me
You'll be okay
Hameng is going dubbing with Dad
I I want to go too
Actually, it's quite simple
Just follow the movements
of the mouth Let me show you
You're smart, you'll do okay, Let's do it
I really like to have dinner here
But the landlady is such a lousy cock
So sometimes there can be a problem
That's not what I said
You talk too much
Don't talk with your mouth full, that's what Dad said
Dad, I want to go too
I want to watch you making a living
So you're interested too
Okay, let's all go
What are we dubbing tomorrow
I don't know
The foreman called and said he wanted a girl
who speaks Mandarin
so I asked you
That's all there is to it, my dear
I like going to the movies myself
That movie Somewhere in Time
I saw it four times
Don't hate me Beg me
Darling, I want more
Stop NG
Can you loosen up a bit
She's having a good time, really enjoying it
You make her sounds likes she's
really sick and suffering
Everyone's reaction is different, you know
That I don't care Just do it according to the images
Okay, from the top
I'm sorry I didn't know
we'd be dubbing this kind of stuff
That's okay
Come on More
I should be really turned on by these images
But the sound of Dad and Hameng doing it
Really bother me, it's terrible
Do you like this Sun, come with me
Darling
Darling
I'm not eating roast pork today
can I have yours instead
These two are for the family;
I'll let you have it if you were my family
Ain't I Some other day
These're the only two better lunch boxes
left You got to be quick
I had to fight my way to get them
Let's eat, Come
Yeung Chu-chang, guess who
Even if you didn't say a word,
Your perfume would have given you away Hi, Fox
Well, aren't you something
My dear, you're always on my heart
This is my sun
So it is for this son
that you got married in such a hurry
If you hadn't been in such a hurry
He could have been our sun
Hey, Sexy, you mind your mouth
That's what I am
You're frightening the kid
Let's be serious I have something to say to you
What is it
Let's talk outside Outside
If Hameng wasn't there with us
I would be throwing up
Let me give your some of this, okay
Give me anything, give me rat poison
And I'll gladly put into my stomach
"I. 'Ii-ii
It feels so good
Back there when Fox's
Pressing her chest against you,
Did you Have a hard-on
Just a little, a little
No
That's very upright of you
So I'm upright
What about you
Flirting with all those women
Now I get it It's all because
of you that I'm perverted
It's all a matter of genetics
What is it Always hanging up on me
Hello, is Yeung Chu-chang there
Nu, he's not Who's calling
Who is it
She hangs up again
I'm going to Auntie Lang's, I'd be right back
I'm sure that was Fox;
Something's going on
I've been suspecting him for some time
Durex
Evidence Evidence of my Dad's crime
Don't hate me, just beg me
It can't be My Dad isn't that kind of person
That must be an explanation to it
But if there's nothing between him and Fox
Why is he carrying all these condoms
Come to think of it, Fox may not be the only one
There may be a Miss A
And a Miss B
And
I have an important announcement to make
Shit Mum also knows about it
Now the family is going to fall apart
I'm going to find a part-time job
So that's all
The family will not be affected
We'll still be having dinner at 7
I'll do the shopping for you
So if I come home earlier from school
There'd be no one at home except
Hameng and myself It's great
If no one objects to it, then it's settled
If anyone has any objections, let's hear it
Silence means objection
Mum, I'm 100% behind you
That's only one vote, what about the others
If you're against it
say it This is a democratic family
Democracy I mean, democracy
Of course it's democracy
You're the people, and I'm the lord
So it's settled
Good In fact I've already found a job
And I'm starting tomorrow
Guess what I found
I'm helping out at the luck shop
in Bo's school
u,' n'?
From now on we can go to schoo and come home
together, isn't that nice
Be frank, tell her
Tell her that you'll lose face your classmates
will tease you, Go on
MumSince you're peddling fish balls,
why don't you do it in sister's school
Let's get some cakes,
No We don't want to miss roll call Let's go
I'm talking about cakes, your favourite
Nu, thank you
The teacher's coming Let's go
Over there
Lang, is that form 2A in the playground
What do I care who they are
They're all animals You'll find out
when they rush down for their soda
Will there be enough for everybody
I've prepared a few more, just in case
We'll take a five-minutes break
But stay away from the tuck shop
I heard a whistle Dues that mean class is over
Lang, is this your invoice
Oh yes
Good They're nice and cold
That was fun
D what a great dunk
What That's your Mum
A nice cold soda for you, sun
What can I do for you Ma'am
Auntie, class isn't over
I'm terribly sorry
I'll save them for you
I'm sorry
Ho Yingchun's mother is the vice
chairman of the Rotary Club
My Mum sells fish balls in school
Your Mum's working in the tuck shop That's great
We'll get bigger fish balls
You're going to take care of your
good friend, aren't you.
"M. lb.'
It's your Mum Well So
It's okay You can learn
Come on
Besty, Let's go to a movie
Okay I'm so happy You're asking me to a movie
What movie
It's up to you
And we'll have dinner aftenuards
UP to you
I'll do whatever you say, okay
Bo
Do you
not like Mum working
No I It's not that I don't like you working
You're afraid that your classmates will tease you
No
I just I just want you to treat me like the others
And don't wait for me after school
That's okay I'll treat you like the others
Now go to sleep
Mum, Do you understand what I'm saying
Just remember that I'm not your sun at school
Please remember
Hameng has a boyfriend
Really
Have you seen him Of course
What does he look like
What do you expect People who go to those places
No He's cool
He takes Hameng home in a Mercedez
A Mercedez Sounds like a big shut
So how big is he
Stop gossiping
Last night you said Uncle Wong
was keeping a mistress
I don't want to talk about this any more
Children eat, adults talk Now Hush Shut up
The way you look at me
You know I'll do it for you
Can I talk to Mr Chan Saimei please
Hang on
Hello Saimei Why don't you call me
You know you can't me at home
I'm sorry, but I miss you
You shouldn't be doing this to yourself
not for any man
Because I know in my heart
No man on earth is good enough for you
Of course I'm going to help you You're my friend
Have some meat
You never had a meal with a girl
Your friend looks depressed Is it the food No
Then have some vegetables
I'll go get the soup
Give me a break It's his first time
It won't take am minute
Done It's settled
Maybe it's really not such a good idea
Are you kidding It's all settled
I don't think so
How many times have I talked to you about it
You're 14 years old
You're a man, and a man has his needs
People used to push you around in school
After this they'll all look at you differently
But she's your girl
And I'm your friend
It doesn't seem right
Hey, you're paying for it This isn't free
You are my friend , that's why I trust you
I mean, who else can I trust
Besides, even if you don't do it with her
someone else will
Friends makes things easy
You won't feel embarrassed or anything
We're friends You help her, she helps me
and I help you
We help one another, right
I don't know if I really understood
what Teddy was saying
In any case, I was too curious
After dinner, dessert
Now be a good student
Relax Let me show you
Don't worry about me
What do you want
I know This is your first time
You're nervous, aren't you
Now relax
What are you doing Do you want to do it
What Speak up, I can't hear you
Try Try a little
How to try a little
You're too nervous Wait until next time
Can't do it
Don't push it too hard
Let me show you
You're weird
I'm more handsome
Work hard
Dun'! PEEP
I don't know why Teddy and I become friends
I don't think he's a bad person
Like most people, he also needs friends
Sure he ran a racket in school
But that's the only way he knows to make friends
Lately he's been looking dreadful
I didn't ask him if he was sick or something
intuitively, I thought it has to do with his whoring
That was a really romantic movie
“a I-"II-
Bu, do you think that could be our ending
I never thought I 'd be dating Betsy
She's only eleven, and already overdoing it
What can I get you
Pineapple ice
And for the little girl
That won't be necessary We're sharing one drink
Do we also have to share one bed
Miss Yes
Can I have two straws please
Going out with Betsy has one good point
I don't have to say much
Cos she's doing all the talking
lfl don't, I'll get some contact lenses
She gives me time to reflect
On the things that are happening around me
Is it good
I forbid you from now on to hang out
with Yeung Da Bo
Yeung Da Bo Who is he
Saimei, let set this tortoise free, okay
What do you say
Are you sure The tortoise is a secret
between you and Bo
Understand He's a kid I was just kidding him
What is the most famous farm product of India
Yeung Da Bu, answer the question
Sir, I know the answer
Yeng Wan Puchiu, you answer the question
It's curried potato
That's correct
Bu, have a soda
You're seating a! over, here
Look Your nose's running all over Here, clean it
Step mother will forgive this time;
But if I catch you bullying Shiu Bo again,
I'll lock you out
Shui Bo tickle him
Whafre you doing It's me
Nut Fung Bo Bo
Even if it's fantasy, it doesn't have
so stray so far away from the reality
Hello Dolby How come you know my number
Who am I
VVhafs wrong You called me 8=amp
you don't know who I am
I am Yeung Da Bu, your classmate
Laikau You know her
It's my call Give it to me
Boyfriend She's only eleven
She's only a kid You're an animal
What' re you doing
I'll never speak to you again
But I'm right Ain't I
Wait a minute You're going steady
with an 11 years old too
I just don't want other people to make
the same mistakes I did Hey
It's getting more & more difficult to be
a member of the Yeung family
n-n-I 'It
Do you want some banana
I won't talk to my Dad
Cos he's committing adultery with Fox
Mum ignores me at school
And Hameng
Kind of ignores everybody
Are you sure you're not going to uncle's
home to have dinner
Let me cock you something
Did his dad die
We have to be more concerned about Bo
How
The way you're concerned about the gold fish
What is it Why' re you Whispering again
Your brother has cancer
I'm not kidding
No more fouling around
No more fouling around
I know I've bee a real failure recently
The people around me are actually nice to me
But I'm still unhappy Why
Am I too demanding
Am I though on others and soft on myself
Home at last, Come into my room
Now this is really too much
Don't go Take off your shoes
You take off your clothes, I'm leaving
Please don't
No I got to go I have to report to my wife
Saimei, please don't go
Saimei,
Come back
Don't leave me here
Saimei
Alright, you
You're a real pervert, aren't you
Just kidding
Don't get mad Can't you take a joke
Giving up Are you sure
Finally I come to realize the first truth about love
If you really like someone
you don't go to bed with her easily
But with someone you hardly know,
There's no harm
So I decided to give Teddy a call
Hello, can I talk to Tse Yin please
This is Yeung Da Bo
Something terrible has happened
His granny said he's in the hospital
He has leukemia
Tse Yin asked me to give you this
before he passed away
Dear Bo, I am giving you back
your protection money
We are friends, and friends don't
haggle over money
Granny, can I have a photograph of Tse Yin
That's nice I always thought he was a loner
That he didn't have any friends
I am so happy to know that
you're his friend
I never thought someone this young
can die so suddenly
But I think his death has something
to do with his whoring
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun,
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
Really She's broken up
with Ho Yingchun
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
Really She's broken up with Ho Yingchun
Tingting has broken up with Ho Yingchun
It's all over school
Could it be because of me
Tingting
She's sitting right there
where I always pass by on my way home
Her intention can't be more obvious, can it
Why're you sitting here
Nothing Nothing
Then why're you sitting here looking dopey
Just say I'm waiting for someone
That's more like it No need to be subtle
Maybe I'm waiting for you
Yeah Be frank about it
Waiting for me Do you have problem
with your homework
No
She's not making sense
she doesn't know what's she talking about
Now I have her under my thumb
Press her, make her tell the truth
So, what is it
I've been waiting for you to say this for so lung
Tingting
Tingting I'm sorry
I can't live without you
I love you
Tingting
Please don't do this, please
Let's talk it over, okay
I don't think we have anything to talk about
Yeung Da Bu, talk to her
You and Tingting are good friendsT, alk to her on my behalf
I never thought Ho Yingchun
the darling of everybody
Would be begging me, like a dog without a home
Will you stop this Can you act like a man
Good Scold him Scold him good
Let's go
Tingting What're you doing
Tingting, don't leave me
You're hurting me
Let go of me Let go
It's none of your business, leave us alone
ll“- u-
Stay cool and let it blow over,
I've successfully protected
her Victory is mine
Maybe I'll get a kiss
Why did you punch him
lOh buy, I really screwed up
Are you okay
Blood What
Superman
Tingting, I'm sorry to be late
Let's go to a movie
Tingting
How can you do such a thing
Well, what about it
You have this on and off thing
with Ho Yingchun,
And now you and Dolby
Dolby and I are just
Well, so what
It's none of your business anyway
None of my business
Why should it be any of your business
Because because I'm your friend
I-‘ fl-'Fl
Okay
If it had been somebody else,
I really couldn't care less
Tingting, I have something to ask you
Do you love me
I I don't know
You don't know How can you not know
I really don't
Then how come You go out with one guy
at one time, And another guy at another
I really don't know I don't know
Everything is I don't know Well I don't know
I always thought girls are more mature
But I was wrung
They go out with this guy
then they go out with that guy;
It looks like they're playing with us
But in fact they don't know what they are doing
They're also going around in circles
Examination time again
I worked really hard for it
I wanted good results
But Mr Fang had a disaster
He got a zero
Miss Lu, whom he wanted, ls now Mrs Yuen
As for myself, though I tried my very best,
My results were even more miserable then last year's
So I began to understand that what you sow
and what you get can be very different
Do you remember there used to be
a creek down there
There're a lot of tadpoles in it
Yeah And there was this tree
that shed its leaves in summer
And you used to scare Tingting
with some haunted stories
That they so crowded the tree
that its leaves began to fall
Now I know why its leaves fall in summer
Why
Because a lot of people take their dogs
out in summer,
And all the dogs piss on the tree,
And drown it
Bullshit Dug piss is top-grade fertilizer
Did I drag you out and make life
difficult for you and Chu
There's something about you
that I'm not totally happy about
What is it
You're not nice to your Mum
Even Kwan is more mature than I am
Even Kwan's grown up
When you were a kid and I wanted
to take you to the doctor
You always wanted me to bring you here
for a western meal
In those days, I could never have a meal
in piece and quiet
Cos you were always all over the place,
Or pulling the hair of the guy sitting
in the next booth,
See that guy That's how he lust all his hair
And I thought, one day if you could
buy me a meal here
I'd be the happiest guy on earth
Bu, are you mad at Dad
Dad, one time I found some condoms
in your briefcase
So
Do you have something going on with Fox
Fox did a movie and wanted me to talk
to the distributors,
That's why she's been calling me
What about the condoms
That's Dad'sAnd Mum's business
You and Mum are still doing it
Hey, we're not old people
But you do it at home,
Why are you carrying them in your briefcase
You're a big man now, and I'll tell you
There're these crazy colour condoms
that are really in vogue
And grown-ups like to carry a couple
n their pockets
They're status symbols, you know
I'm your old man, I have to carry a few
I'm a matter of face
I not only carry them in my pocket
I keep a bundle in my briefcase
Open my briefcase, people see them,
and are shocked out of their wits
They think I'm a big shot
Did you ever use them
You're so unobservant, how come you're my son
Didn't you ever look at them
They're all wrinkled, dried up, expired
they're museum pieces
You can't use them
Waiter
What can I get you, sir
The check, please
Yes sir
Dad, let me do it You
I didn't quite believe what he told me
But I saw him trying so hard,
That all of sudden I realized that none
of this was important any more;
Cos Dad was treating me as his equal
I think you still have a few familial
problems to be taken care of
You mean Mum and Sis
Of course, I'll let you in on a few secrets
about being a man
What are they There aren't any
If there were, your Mum won't be your Mum
What does that mean
It means be creative
If I had the answer, I'd e getting you
a new Mum every year
You first
Okay Let's be friends again
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Open it All right
Thank you, Dad
Don't thank me You know I'm
against expensive gifts
thank your Mum She makes the money for it
Working in the tuck shop
Mum
I'm sorry
No need to say sorry
If you're going to say anything
you should say Thank you
Thank you Mum
Look at you You're a big buy now
and still behaving like a kid
Come, give Mum a hand
Laikau, Hameng is leaving
Hameng, please don't go
Yeah Don't go
Why do you move
Good-bye Good-bye
Are you all packed Yes
Good-bye, Good-bye, Laikau
Bye bye
Laikau will miss you
Come back and visit us when you've time
Come stay with us again
Good-bye Good-bye
We didn't hear much about
Hameng after she left
We learned from the newspaper
that she took part in the
1st New Talent Singing Contest
and she lust to Anita Mui
Then we heard she went back to Taiwan
But the tortoise is still with us
watching over me