Jet Pilot (1957) - full transcript

Dog Patch Red to Yellow Kid.

Dog Patch Red to Yellow Kid. Yellow
Kid to Dog Patch Red. Go ahead.

Got any more dope on that bogey, or has
it turned into another flying saucer?

Bogey is still out of range for
your outfit to make intercept.

How much
fuel have you got left?

(DOG PATCH RED OVER RADIO)
About 1-5-0 gallons.

By the way, that bogey
may be my operations

officer, Major Rexford,
coming in from White Horse.

He might have overshot the field
in this soup.

No, we've already identified Rexford.

Bogey came into our radar net
across Bering Sea from Siberia.



We must assume it is Russian
as it does not show I.F.F.

Russian? Are you on the level,
or is this a drill?

Yellow Kid to Dog Patch Red.
I repeat: Russian.

And this is no drill.
You're relieved to refuel.

Keep two squadrons with hot guns
on standby alert.

Oh, roger!
1-9-0 to Allison Tower.

This is Allison Tower, 1 -Niner-0.
Go ahead.

Request landing instructions,
22 jets, 10 miles out.

Allison Tower to 1 -Niner-0,
you're number one to land.

Runway: 3-2. Wind: Calm.
Weather: Closing in fast.

(DOG PATCH RED)
Roger, Allison Tower.

Comin' right in.
Red Leader to Flight.

Go into string and take distance
for individual landings.

We're goin' in to refuel. Did you
hear those instructions, Blue Leader?



Blue Leader to Red Leader. Roger.
We'll follow you in.

Hope we meet up
with that Russian on the way.

(DOG PATCH RED)
You and me both.

Blue Leader to Red Leader.
Look out below. Here we come!

Red Leader to Blue Leader.
Come ahead!

Shut the door!
Yeah, shut the door.

But the colonel...

I'm sorry, Colonel.
That's all right.

We'll be ready for takeoff
in 20 minutes.

Afraid that'll be too late.
Has that Russian come into range?

There he is, circling
north of the base at jet speed.

How do you like that?

A Russian jet.

It's all right, Colonel.
We've got your 1-9-7 going up after it.

Rexford? How much fuel
did he have left?

Twenty-one minutes. I caught him
just as he was coming in to land.

He's crossing the field to go back up
on top. Here he comes now.

He's right smack on the bearing.

Yeah, he oughta be on
that Russian's tail in no time.

Well, watch out for that Rexford.
Don't let him get trigger-happy.

I want that Russian jet
down in one piece. You bet.

1 -Niner-7 to Yellow Kid.
I see your Russian jet.

Yellow Kid to 1 -Niner-7.
Easy, now. Are you sure it's a Russian?

Sure I'm sure. I wouldn't have said
I was sure if I wasn't.

It's a YAK 12, and I've got a perfect
bead on him. Shall I slam him,

or should I just
saw off one of his wings?

Yellow Kid...
If you do, I'll saw off your head!

Yellow Kid to 1 -Niner-7,
don't open fire unless he tries it on you.

Now, take your time, Major Rexford.
Does he see you?

How can he see me?
I'm in his blind spot.

Rex, this is Shannon.

Hello, Jim.
Wish you were here.

Maybe you think I don't, because I want
that Russian jet down here undamaged.

All I want you to do is go up
alongside of him and attract his attention.

What ifhe won't look at me?

Oh, I get this all the time.

Then you can fire a warning squirt.
But that's all. Savvy?

Aye, savvy.

Hey, you!

Hey, Molotov,
or whatever your name is. Okay.

Aw, shucks.

What's the matter?
All this guy wants is down.

How do you know? As soon as I fired a
little squirt, he dropped his landing gear.

That's fine. Now,
will you kindly lead him in?

Okay, Jim.

A woman.

A lady.

A dame.

Anybody around here speak Russian,
Sergeant? Nobody except me, maybe.

Maybe?
Go ahead and say something.

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
REXFORD: Is that Russian?

That's Yiddish.

Put that down, Sergeant,
and get out of here.

(JET PASSING OVERHEAD)

I can handle this, Chief.
I've met dames like this before.

You likey soupski?

Soupski. You likey?

As an officer,
I'm entitled to certain privileges,

one of which is that
I not only be treated respectfully,

but that I be addressed
in a language I can understand.

You likey speechski?

(LAUGHING)

I guess that'll hold you.
Let's get rid of this parachute.

What air base in Siberia
did you take off from, Lieutenant?

I'm not going to answer that.
How much fuel did she have left?

The bottom of the tank
was still a little damp.

Take your thumb
out of that soup, Major.

Sit down, Lieutenant.
We can talk while you're eating.

Well, why don't you sit down and eat?
Aren't you hungry?

Yes, but not hungry enough
to talk against my country.

Look, lady, we were under
the impression that

you came here to get
away from your country.

I came here to prevent myself
from getting shot.

Why would they wanna shoot you?

I did something that was wrong.
REXFORD: You did?

I can't believe it.
What did you do?

Disobeyed an order of
my commanding officer.

What kind of an order?

It was in regard to tactics,
so I naturally can't explain it.

That sounds reasonable.
(BUZZING)

Who asked you? Hello?

Oh, put him through.
Palmer Field. General Black.

Hello. Hello, General. Yes.

The plane looks like a Soviet version
of our T-33.

She's right here in my office. I can't
tell you exactly what I think of it.

But either she or thatjet
must be pretty good to get this far.

Sir? Well, no,
she isn't very talkative.

All I've been able to get out of her is
some baloney about why she flew the coup.

What is that-baloney?
Yes, sir.

Sausage.

I was thinking ofhaving Rexford
fly her down in the C-47.

But I said nothing about sausage.
No, sir.

Nobody did. But he's one of those men who
suspects everything he can't understand.

Oh.
Yes, sir.

Good-bye, sir.

Why don't you believe me?

Your story's too simple for a Russian,

too smart and too straight.

I have a feeling you don't like Russians.

Well, I don't know.

I met lots of'em in Germany.

Got drunk with 'em.

I sang their songs,
and they sang mine.

It was a beautiful friendship
that gradually ripened...

into complete apathy, baby.

But why?

Say, where have you been
all this time? Russia.

That explains it.

Well, let's see.

Kindly lay out any articles
you may have in your possession.

What's that?

My cigarettes and lighter.

Finally made one that'll work.
Anything else?

Only this.

Is that all?
Yes.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to search you.

I expected that. Go ahead.

(JETS PASSING OVERHEAD)

It'll be a lot easier
if you'll take that stuff off.

A little heavier than ours.

Hold it!

This way.

Come on.

Take the rest of
your things off in here.

Thank you.

(SHOWER RUNNING)

(SINGING, INDISTINCT)

I see you have hot water.
Help yourself.

Are you serious?
Sure. Go ahead.

May I use the soap too?

Also the towel.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

All set?
Be ready to go in half an hour.

Say, what's goin' on in there?
Sounds like she's taking a shower.

Well, how do you like that? Not so loud.
I don't want her to know you're here.

Why not? Well, I think she's
gonna pull something.

Huh?
I may be wrong, but...

(ANNA YELPS)

What's the matter?

The water's so hot!

Well, why don't you turn on
the cold faucet? Where is it?

Right next to the other one.
Can't you see it? No.

Why not?
What's the matter with your eyes?

They got soap in them.
Uh-oh.

Well, I'll fix that.
Come on over to the door.

Here I am.
Now put your hand on the knob.

All right.
Now reach right above it.

That's a towel rack.
There's a towel on it.

Oh, thank you!
Oh.

Looks like I'm gonna have
a very interesting trip.

Oh, no, you're not.

(PHONE WINDING)

Sergeant? See that Captain Carlson
has my gear packed.

Where are you going? I think I'd better
take her down to Palmer Field myself.

But you told the general I was gonna do it.
I think I'd better.

Who's gonna look after the outfit?
You're second in command.

But you were right in the middle
of those night interception tests.

I said you were second in command.
Besides, you're a married man.

What's that got to do with it?

I don't want you exposed to temptation. Now
wait a minute. Maybe you got her all wrong.

She really might've gotten soap in her
eyes. It's happened to me lots of times.

I know. That's why I'm gonna take her.
(DOOR OPENS)

I hope you don't mind, gentlemen,
but it's much too cold in there.

Make yourself at home.

(DOOR CLOSES)

It's so nice and warm in here.

Wonder what I did
with the lady's lighter.

Did you see it? I didn't know she had one.
What'd you do with it?

Well, if I knew,
I wouldn't ask you.

It isn't possible you were
thinking of something else.

This is just a shot in the dark,

but her eyes don't look like
they had soap in 'em.

This might be some new form
of Russian propaganda.

Maybe they are actually trying to
make friends and influence people.

Could be.

Could be.

I wonder if you fully understand
your position, Lieutenant.

As a refugee?
You came here to avoid being shot.

That is correct.

You want us to give you sanctuary,
yet you don't wanna do anything in return.

I'm not going to tell you anything
that will hurt my country.

I'm a
refugee, not a traitor.

In other words,
you want something for nothing.

Your precious freedom...
it has to be bought?

Why not?
We paid a high price for it.

And it's getting
scarcer in the world all the time.

Exactly. What kind of
people do you think we are?

You're trying to confuse me. I won't tell
you anything, I don't care what you say.

I can't get used to women soldiers.

I don't like the idea
of putting pressure on a girl like you.

Pressure?

I didn't know they did things
like that in the United States.

What things?
Pressure means torture, doesn't it?

I didn't hear the general say anything
about torture. Did you, Rivers?

I didn't even hear the general
say anything about pressure.

Did you, Major?
I didn't hear the general say anything.

You gentlemen are making me feel
very much at home.

That's just the way
we want you to feel, Lieutenant.

You're a soldier.
Would you have any respect for me...

if I told you what you wanted to know
about the Russian Air Force?

Don't you think
I have a sense of honor?

Are you referring to your
honor as a Soviet soldier?

What else do you think
I'm talking about?

What's so funny about that?

It's very refreshing to hear
a commie talk about honor.

I honor my country above everything.

Does that mean you can have no honor,
no love, no respect for anything else?

Precisely.
Not even for yourself?

With us, the state is everything.

The individual has no right
to even think of himself.

Well, if we respected your feelings in
this manner, you'd have no respect for us.

Why not?

You'd think it was a good joke.

Sure, Americans are so simple
about this freedom thing.

They don't seem to realize they're cooking
the calf in the milk of its own mother.

Isn't that, uh, true?

I've never even thought about it
in that light.

I think you should.

Come in, Captain.

In fact, I'd advise you
to give it very careful thought.

I will think about that too.
(DOOR OPENS)

Shannon, you certainly
gave her the works.

Yes, sir. If anybody's gonna get anything
out of this girl, it'll be Shannon.

Me? The most perfect case
of ambivalence I ever saw.

Case of what?
Ambivalence?

Double values.

They both like and hate each other.

They don't know which feeling to follow.
Wonderful confusion.

Perfect sex antagonism.
This proves it.

Proves what?
Yeah, proves what?

Look at the doodle she made.

Did you make a pass at her when
you brought her down in the C-47?

I did not!

Let me look at that. You mean
these doodles would show it?

I don't know.

You'd get practically
the same effect if he didn't.

That's just the way it was!
I didn't! Now, Jim...

And speaking of passes, sir,
she threw one at me...

right in my office
almost before her hands got warm.

What? Then she tried it
again in the shower.

Shower?
What shower?

I got one in the office.
Oh, well.

What is she doing in a shower?
Well, after she undressed...

in the bathroom, gentlemen.

It's all in my notes, General.
I had to search her, didn't I?

Yes, but you didn't say
anything about this shower business.

She asked me if she could take one.
What else could I do?

General, I think we can spare
Colonel Shannon any further details.

The overall picture seems
to be sufficiently corroborated.

I think we'd be fully justified
in exploiting it.

Listen, General... Don't look at me.
They're absolutely right.

You were made for this job.

General Black, I'm a
jet man, not a gigolo.

How about that job you did for us
with that German Frau?

That was an accident, not in the
line of duty. Well, this is.

I'm putting you in full charge
and holding you completely responsible.

But... I don't want this angle
to get into the records.

So I'll leave it to you
to inform your people

and the F.B.I. You do the
same with the C.I.A.

Yes, sir.
But, General...

The newspapers don't know
a thing about this girl, so watch yourself.

Washington wants to keep it this way.
Savvy?

General, let's don't change the subject.
Colonel Shannon?

I can take a hint.
About face! Forward march.

Where ya been?
You're a day late.

Ran into some bad weather in Edmonton,
but we're all present and accounted for.

You're still in charge.
What's the matter?

Well, they couldn't get
any more out of her nibs

than we did, so they
tossed her back in my lap.

You better give the group
a couple of days rest.

Serves you right for not
letting me bring her down.

I wish I had.

Look, I'm gonna have to
put on an act for her,

so after we pull out, you tell that Waf
captain not to take it too seriously.

Never mind.
I'll tell her myself.

You remember Major Rexford.
Oh, yes. How do you do?

Colonel Shannon tells me
you two are going up for a flight.

I still can't believe it.
You're not serious?

Why not?

You mean I'm not going
to be confined?

From now on,
you're a guest of the air force.

You may go where you want
and see what you like.

I was instructed to give you
the same treatment and hospitality...

that was given to
those other two Russian fliers,

one of whom has already
returned to Russia.

How do you like that?

Well, it's very simple.
He probably became homesick.

Do you stuff birds too?

Captain.

What does he mean,
do I stuff birds too?

Nothing.
His father was a taxidermist.

Oh. JIM: Lieutenant?

If you please.

What's this all about, Major?
I can't make head or tail of it.

You don't know what's behind it all?

Mind your own business.

There's your tailpipe heat,
your fuel pressure gauge.

Here's your tachometer.

I thought this was it.
Oh, that's right.

On this type, it's on the other side.

You better have a little respect
for that red handle...

unless you wanna be 75 feet
in the air without a plane.

Oh. The seat ejector.
So your father was a bird stuffer.

Is that why you took up flying?

You're pretty well-stuffed yourself.

"S" For Shannon
calling "A" For Anna.

This is "A" For Anna.
Go ahead.

Meet you over the field at 30,000.

All right. But why didn't you tell me
you were going to pull up like that?

I didn't think you could make it.

(ANNA SCOFFS)

"S" For Shannon
calling "A" For Anna.

Go ahead.
Where are you?

Can't you see me?
No!

I'm very close to you.
How close?

Well, if these guns were loaded,
you'd be minus your rudder and one wing.

Say, where are you?

(ANNA OVER RADIO)
Right underneath you.

Underneath me? I don't believe it.
Why don't you take a look.

Hello.
(LAUGHING)

Not bad.
I have now shot away your other wing.

(JIM LAUGHS)
I'll never hear the last of this.

Lady, you sure are the Peruvian doughnuts!
I wouldn't mind having you for a wingman.

I was just thinking
the same thing about you.

Let's see if you're as good in a
tight turn. That's my specialty.

ANNA: You're fabulous. That's the
tightest turn I've ever seen.

But I'll get inside of
you just the same. How?

You can't tighten it much more
without going into a spin yourself.

Maybe, but I'm figuring
you'll do it first.

ANNA:
Maybe.

(ANNA SCREAMS)
You see what I mean?

JIM:
Now the gun's on the other shoulder.

It's much worse than that.
What's wrong?

How far are we from the field?
Why?

I've got a flameout.
A flameout? Cut your throttle.

What's the procedure for a restart?
Slow down to 200.

Right. Now start to glide, and don't touch
anything till we get down to 15,000.

Right. Hello, Palmer Tower.
This is Colonel Shannon.

Emergency. Stand by for a dead-stick
landing of an F-86 on the long runway.

Roger, Colonel Shannon.
Crash circuit.

Emergency landing, F-86.
Dead stick. Runway 6.

(SIREN WAILING) (MAN OVER PA)
Emergency landing, F-86.

(DOG BARKING)
Dead stick. Runway 6.

Emergency landing, F-86.
Dead stick. Runway 6.

What's the course to the field?
Straight ahead.

But I don't think there's a chance
for a dead-stick from here.

You can't restart your engine,
you'll have to bail out.

Bail out?
With the seat ejector?

Have you ever tried it?
Not in these trousers.

They say it's pure rugged,
so you'd better try to get an air start.

I'm unlucky. I've never been able
to get one yet.

Now, just take it easy. You've only enough
juice in that battery for one stab at it.

Is your compressor turning over?

Yes. It's windmilling about 17%.
That's fine.

We're almost down to 15,000.

Have you got your emergency
fuel switch on? Yes.

Now turn on your ignition boost
and crack your throttle.

What next?
Say a prayer.

I don't believe in that nonsense.

Then you'd better quit flying jets.
Why?

Never mind.
I'll say one for you.

Maybe you should say another one.
Why?

The temperature's beginning
to rise in my tailpipe.

You probably only have two burners going.
Open your throttle another crack.

They're all burning now. Should
I try full power? Go ahead.

You're all right.
Pour on the coal and head for home!

Hey, that turn of yours...
I wish you'd show me how to do it.

You can show me a few things too.

I don't think so.
You're the best I ever saw.

Then how come you got underneath me?
Just a trick.

How'd you do it?

I'll tell you if you'll show me how
to do that tight turn. I can't.

Why not?
It was revealed to me in a dream.

Oh.

The way she flies that F-86,
the Soviets must have an equivalent type.

She sure is
fully operational with it.

I don't think their battery system
or burners are as good as ours. Why?

When she had the flameout, she said
she'd never been able to relight one.

But they have some tactics
we oughta study.

You mean the way she gets inside of you
on that loop? Couldn't get rid of her.

She must be pretty good. Only thing I
could beat her at was a tight turn.

If we'd have been using bullets
instead of film,

I'd have been cold meat
long before that.

Well, that's fine, Jim.

What are you gonna try her on next?

She seems to be interested
in our night interceptions.

Think we oughta
give her a whirl at it?

I don't see why not.

Washington wants us to find out
what interests her most,

which, by all processes of deduction,
should give them some idea...

of the things the Russians haven't got.

Go ahead.

That means she'll get a peek
at some of our new stuff.

We'll bring out
an old night fighter from Dayton.

We'll also set up
our old method of interception.

Then all she'll get out
of it's a ride. How

are you progressing on
the sentimental side?

I'm not rushing it, Rivers.
Why not, Colonel?

She hasn't given me a chance, Major.

Maybe I was imagining things
up in Alaska.

Shannon to Pilot.
Push in the channel "C" button.

That'll put us
on fighter control frequency.

Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here.
I'm airborne.

Broken clouds and a full moon.
Request instructions. Over.

Red Dog to Shannon.
We have you.

Our B-36 is turning inland.

It's taking up a heading of 0-9-0.

How far out is she?
I'd say about 140 miles.

B-36 track, she's moved to...

Baker-Queen-1-0-8-4.

Red Dog to Shannon. Climb to Angel-3-0
and orbit. Location. Four. Hit the gate!

Shannon to Red Dog. Roger.

Shannon to Pilot. Steer 260 degrees
and climb to 30,000 feet.

Use full power.

I wanna ask you something first.
(OVER RADIO). Go ahead

Is this a collision course I'm flying?

JIM: Yes. Haven't you
ever flown one? Yes.

But for a dry run in stuff like this, well,
at jet speed, I think it's too dangerous.

Get on course. Let the fighter
control do the worrying.

Why should they worry,
sitting on the ground?

If you've got cold feet, I'll be glad
to take over the controls.

No, thanks.
I'll feel safer doing it myself.

Then get on the course and
get off the air. I'm on it.

MAN 1: It's okay now.
MAN 2: Yeah, he's right on the button.

We'd better warn Shannon.

He should pick it up
on his scope pretty quick.

In exactly 35 seconds.

Red Dog to Shannon.
Go ahead, Red Dog.

Watch your scope
very closely now.

You should be able
to blossom any second.

Shannon to Red Dog. Okay.

Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here.

Target contacted.

Ah! Only a fifth of a second off.

I'll have to give you some homework.

Roger, Shannon.
Understand you have target.

It's all yours.
Red Dog listening. Out.

Shannon to Pilot.
We're on our own now.

The B-36 is a little to our left
about seven miles ahead of us.

Turn left 10 degrees.
Range. Six and a half miles.

Increase speed 3-0 miles.

ANNA:
Right.

Now, watch your scope and tell me when you
see a pip on it. That is your target.

ANNA:
I see one.

No-Yes, yes, I see it!

JIM: Now center it on your
crosshairs and hold it there.

When the image spreads to those other
lines, you're in range to shoot.

The image has now reached the outer lines.
How should I attack? Astern?

JIM: No, no. From astern, they'd
shoot you down. Pull up parallel.

MAN:
Hey, Paul, take a look at this, will you?

I think 4-7-9's getting
a little too close for comfort.

PAUL:
Yeah! Red Dog to Shannon.

What are you doing? You're supposed
to intercept, not coincide.

JIM: Drop your dive brakes.
You're right on top of it!

ANNA: I saw it. JIM: Then
why don't you break it off?

Well, why should I?
I was watching it on my scope.

The pips have coincided.
I hope they haven't.

Boy, if they haven't,
they must be riding piggyback.

Now look. They're separated again.

I hope those aren't just pieces of them.
No, they'd be off there by now.

Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here.

I'm sitting on the wing off that B-36.
Any further instructions?

Red Dog to Shannon. Brother, you
had us sittin' on something too.

Steer 2-3-0 degrees for base.
Listening out.

JIM:
Ah, roger.

Shannon to Target.
Good night, mama.

You look pretty good in there.

MAN: Good night, baby. You did
quite a bit of lookin' yourself.

How do you like it?
Like what?

Our night interception routine.
Oh, you Americans.

What's the matter with us?

You are utterly antagonistic to any
form of regimentation on the ground,

but in the air, you accept it
in the most abject manner.

Well, you've got to admit
it works pretty good.

Well, that's what puzzles me.
I can't understand it.

What'll you give me if I tell ya?

Give you?
What do you want?

Is this too much?

That's a habit with you.
What?

Trying to get something for nothing.

I believe in looking at
merchandise before I pay for it.

So do I. I'd really like to
know about these maneuvers.

These, or those?

Those.

Well, I warn ya, I won't come through
unless you improve on that last sample.

Very well.

How was that?
Very much better.

Why?
It was a perfect example of teamwork.

Just apply it to that interception routine,
and you've got the answer.

Teamwork?

Everybody works together.

Like the first time I kissed ya,
you didn't do your part.

So we didn't get anywhere.
In other words,

you believe the individual
must sacrifice his personal feelings...

and work with somebody else
for the benefit of the whole enterprise?

That's right. Mass production.
I see.

The idea's purely capitalistic.

No wonder every loyal Russian
instinctively rejects it.

I give up. Come on.

Get in, you silly Siberian cupcake.

Cupcake? What does that mean?

If the P.X. Is still open,
I'll buy you a couple.

First, it's baloney.
Then it's stuffed birds.

And now, it's cupcake.

ANNA:
Why are you letting down?

Well, Washington said you could go
where you want and see what you like.

And this, I think, you'll like.

Hello, Palm Springs Tower.
This is Air ForceJet 1-9-0.

This is Palm Springs Tower.
Go ahead, 1 -Niner-0.

JIM: Ten miles west. Request landing
instructions for two F-86's.

Roger, 1 -Niner-0.
Runway 2-4.

Wind: Northwest 1-4.

Altimeter: Two-niner-niner-seven.
Call on initial.

JIM:
Ah, roger.

ANNA:
Hey, what was that?

JIM:
I'll show you sometime.

Capitalism has certain
dangerous advantages.

That's one thing we have in common
with the Soviet. What's that?

We both believe in uplifting
the, uh, masses.

Yes, but that's not true in
all instances. Of course.

There are some who don't require.

So that's the shape you're in.
Freddie!

Was he making fun of me?
On the contrary.

He was paying you
the highest compliment in his power.

You mean, he liked me?

That's strange.
By Russian standards of beauty,

I'm considered only fair.

They prefer a more robust type.
Mm-hmm.

The more, the merrier.

Then you agree with my countrymen?

No, I can't say that I do.

I'm very much interested in your
point of view, so please, be frank.

Tell me exactly what you think.
I can't.

Why not?
I haven't sufficient flow of speech.

Well, that sounds very nice.

Is it?

Well, it's, uh,
the best I can do at the moment.

In other words,
I'm attractive to you...

in every way except politically?

That's about it.
I hate your insides, and vice versa.

Which is more important to you?
It's a toss-up.

Can't make up my mind.

I'm sorry to hear that.
Why?

'Cause I feel exactly
the same way about you.

You do?
That's why I spoke to you about it.

Have you any solution? The more I
think about it, the worse it gets.

I have the same trouble.
One minute I wanna kill you,

and the next minute
I want to kiss you and...

kiss you and...
kiss you.

Same here.
What are we gonna do about it?

I don't know.
I've never met anyone before...

who aroused and revolted me
in the same proportion.

I'm very confused.
Something else I can do for you?

Maybe you could advise us.
What would you do if you knew a man...

Try this on, Lieutenant.

What is the price of this coverall
and golden heliotrope?

This hat is perfectly silly,
and I adore it.

I wish you'd have bought the red one.
I liked it better.

I like this one. Well, you're wearing
it too far back on your head.

That's the way I like it.
Which one is my bedroom?

Take your pick.

(SQUEALS)

They're both exactly the same.
I like this one.

But, uh...
But what?

Who's gonna use this room?

Both of us.

Really?

Accommodations in Palm Springs
are very scarce.

This is all they had.
Anyway, I'm responsible for you.

Well, naturally,
but I was thinking about the waste.

What waste?
All this lovely space.

In Russia, they'd put at least
three families in it.

Four by dividing the room with a curtain.
Two on that side, two on this side.

Well, why don't you build
more houses?

Jets and bombers
are more important just now.

I agree with you.
You do?

What's the use of building
houses if somebody's

gonna blow 'em off the map?
Of course.

We go right on spending billions for
housing, and only millions for planes.

It's awful.
I think you're absolutely right.

But, uh...

But, uh...

But...

But what?

You realize that you and I are
of the same mind about this matter?

Say, that's right.

What's got into us?

(KNOCKING)

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

Shannon!

Oh, it's you. What are you trying to do,
break down the door?

Well, I didn't think you were in.
Well, then what'd you knock for?

Well, I...
Oh, hello, Georgie.

Jim. How be ya?
Fine. Uh...

Anna, this is
Major Rexford's wife, Georgie.

What are you doin' here?
You told me to give

the boys a couple of
days off, didn't you?

(BIG BAND)

That's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

What's that? That smile of yours.
Where have you been keeping it?

I'm happy tonight.

Why don't you look where you're going? I
haven't got eyes on the back of my head.

Major Rexford and his wife
dance very well together, don't they?

I wish I could say the same for us.

What am I doing that's wrong?
You're holding me too tight.

Too tight?
I can hardly breathe.

You're not serious?
I was never more serious in my life.

Is that better?
What do you think?

I think it's divine.

What's your first name?

Jim.

Jim and Anna.

Anna and Jim.

Are you married?

That's good.

Are you?

Ever been in love?

Not in your sense of the word.

Oh.

So you feel about love...

the same way you feel about religion?

That's right.
Both are dangerous narcotics.

They make individuals forget
their duty to the state.

How's that?

Well, under the influence
of love or religion,

individuals are unable to sacrifice
one another for the national good.

Now, isn't that just too bad?

Why?

You were made for it.

Made for what?
Love.

I don't see the connection.

Why do you suppose
you're so beautiful?

Purely a biological fallacy which makes
our necessities appear pleasurable to us,

like eating, drinking...

Then you do admit
that love is a necessity.

I admit that passion is.

What's the difference?

Well, it's pretty hard to explain.

Why?

I haven't sufficient flow of speech.

Have you had many of them?

Many what?

Women?

Well, I don't know.

These girls, were they
as beautiful to you as I am?

No.

Not one?

Not lately.

Are you sure?
Sure, I'm sure.

What about you?

I'm not ignorant of passion, but I've never
had such a feeling for a man before.

I've never been so stirred by a kiss.
I can't even stop thinking about it.

You're not the only one.

We, uh, can't do it here,
of course.

No.
But it won't hurt to talk about it.

No.
It's almost as nice.

Well, go ahead.

Do you close your eyes
when you do it?

Don't you?

Well, you know what it means
when you don't?

You're thinking of someone else.

What kind do you like best?

The slow, sweet ones like this?

(SIZZLING)

Have you ever smelled
anything more divine?

Well, we're gonna have one
just like it in a few minutes.

Isn't this it? You mean they have
more than one like this? Sure.

That's all they serve here.

Oh, dear.
What's the matter?

We're lost.
Who's lost?

How can Russia compete
with such propaganda?

Good night. I had such a lovely time.
So did we.

See you tomorrow, Rex.
Oh, no, you won't.

Why not? We've gotta
drive back to the field.

What's the rush?
We couldn't find a room.

The town's jammed.
Oh, that's too bad.

What about our sitting room?
Well, what about it?

Why couldn't they use that?
Oh, we wouldn't wanna bother you.

I should say not. Bother? Why would
it bother us? The room is empty.

And the couch is one of
those wonderful American

inventions that can
be turned into a bed.

Isn't it, Jim?
Yeah. Come on.

Sorry, folks. We haven't got a thing.
All filled up. Not a place I could put you.

Well, looks like
we have to go back to I.A.

But, honey, I'm just dead.
Let's try someplace else, huh?

This is Major Rexford and his wife.
They're gonna use my sitting room tonight.

Care to register, Major?
With pleasure.

What's your name?
Oh. Mary Lou Simpson.

Are you married?
Why, yes!

Jim? Jim,
this is Mr. And Mrs. Simpson.

How do you do?
They can use my room.

Huh?
Go on and register.

Well, wait a minute.
Where are you gonna sleep?

Well, there are two beds in your
room, aren't there? Yes, but...

You can't sleep in both of them.
Well, I know, but...

Don't worry. I'm used to it.
Nobody in Russia

has any privacy. But
how are you gonna...

It's very simple.
I merely undress in the bathroom.

Haven't you got that bed fixed yet?

Look, honey. This is the swellest
nightgown I've ever seen.

Just as light as a spider's web.

Jim picked it out for me. Honey,
the colonel picked it out for her.

Well, what are you
looking at me for?

She asked me which one I felt was the
nicest, and I told her. That's all.

Jim, I understand perfectly.
So do I.

I do too. Well, who asked you?
Let's get this thing fixed.

That's easy.
I've handled beds like this before.

Here we go again.
(PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Who is this?

Oh, hello, General.
Yes, she's here.

What did you say, sir?

Yes, sir. I understand.

It's, uh, five after 3:00.
We'll leave right away.

Yes, sir. Good-bye, sir.

Looks like you're gonna have a bedroom to
yourself after all. Well, what happened?

I gotta take Anna back to Palmer Field.
Something wrong?

I'll say.
They're gonna deport her.

"A" For Anna
calling "S" For Shannon.

Go ahead, Anna.

I guess this is the last time
we'll be flying together.

I was just thinking the same thing.

I thought Palmer Field was that way.

SHANNON: It still is. Then why
did you change your course?

I think you'd be better off
if we go this way.

What are you going to do? I'm not
gonna talk about it on the air.

I thought Palm Springs was hot,
but this place is simply fantastic.

Yuma's always like this. It won't be bad
after the air conditioning gets to work.

You think that clerk'll be able
to locate the justice of peace?

Sure. The judge gives 24-hour service.

So does the license clerk. You folks
are as good as married right now.

Here ya are. That's all right, sir.
I'm an old air-force man myself.

Is that why you brought me here?
To get married?

Well, they can't deport
the wife of an American citizen.

But you'll get into trouble
if you marry me.

Sure, I will.

Plenty of trouble.

Wait'll I take a shower, Jim.
I'm soaking wet.

So am I.

What will they do to you?
I don't know.

Probably kick me out of the service.
Is that all?

Isn't that enough?

You love your air force
a great deal, don't you, Jim?

Well, I've been in it
quite a while, you know.

Then why are you doing this?
Wouldn't you do the same for me?

No.
You wouldn't?

Of course not.

ANNA: Was that better?
You're still going too high.

Watch this.

ANNA:
I see.

ANNA:
How was that?

SHANNON:
Well, now you got it!

SHANNON: Hello, Palmer Tower,
this is 1-9-0 on base leg.

Gear down and in the green.

(MAN OVER RADIO) Roger, 1-Niner-0.
This is Palmer Tower.

You are number one to land.
I have a message for you.

SHANNON:
Go ahead.

General Black requests that
you report to his office at once.

Ah, roger.

Yesterday morning at 3:00, I told you to
start back here immediately! Yes, sir.

You're just about 30 hours overdue.
Yes, sir.

Where have you been all this time? I've
been looking all over the country for you!

Yuma, sir. Yuma? What
did you go there for?

To get married.
Married?

You married that Russian girl?
That's right.

You married that girl after I told you
she was gonna be deported?

Yes, sir.
That's why I did it.

Will that make any difference? Not
after two or three years of red tape.

An alien cannot be deported if it works
a hardship on an American citizen.

Jim Shannon, do you realize
you've cooked your

whole career just to get
this girl out of a jam?

Yes, sir, I thought about that.
I've been thinking a lot about it.

Apparently, you're in love with her.

What else does it look like?

Well, I'm sorry, Jim,
very sorry,

but I think I've got
a pretty fast cure for it.

Cure? I don't know
that I wanna be cured.

As your wife, she can't
be deported for some time.

That part you've accomplished.
But that's only peanuts.

Now I'll tell you the real jam you're in.
You're married to a Soviet agent.

Yes, sir, one of their best.
What?

I understand she drove
the British Intelligence absolutely nuts.

Mister, you'll have to prove this to me.

That I think I can do.

MAN: Hello? ANNA: Hello.

I'm calling Alhambra-93434.

MAN:
I'm sorry. This is Alhambra-92424.

You have the wrong number.
That's their recognition signal.

ANNA:
This is Olga.

MAN:
When did you arrive?

Jim.

Was it bad?

Yeah.
Was it worse than you thought?

Yeah.
What are they going to do to you?

I don't know yet.

They haven't decided.

Well, that's terrible.
I know what it is to wait.

MAN: Hello? ANNA: Hello.

I'm calling Alhambra-93434.
I'm sorry.

This is Alhambra-92424.

You have the wrong number.
This is Olga.

When did you arrive?
On the morning of the 11 th.

How much fuel did you have left?
Practically none.

Haven't you anything more to tell me?
Yes, but I have no time now.

Where are you talking from?

Apay telephone in the ladies'room
of a nightclub in Palm Springs.

I will mail the rest of my report.
Good-bye.

Hello, Olga.

Will you listen to me a minute, Jim?
What for?

Jim!

Jim.
Jim and Anna.

Anna and Jim.

What are you going to do to me?
I don't know.

Things are flying around in my head
like feathers in a bag.

Are you going to kill me?
I don't know.

Whatever happens, I wish you'd
remember one thing. What's that?

I've hated myself for doing this to you.
You mean you hated being a spy?

I'm not ashamed of that.
Then what are you talkin' about?

Marrying you.
I tried to keep you from doing it.

Is that all that's worrying you?
Yes.

Well, I got somethin'
that's bothering me a lot more.

What is it?

I'm still in love with you.

Oh, Jim.

Then this hasn't changed everything.

Afraid it hasn't changed anything.

Oh, Jim.

You're divine.

(BIG BAND)

Oh, why didn't you think of this before?

I've been a little busy
the last few days.

Let's catch another drink.
By all means.

Shall we eat something?
Why, are you hungry?

Not particularly. But I always heard
that condemned criminals...

eat a hearty meal
the night before they're hanged.

Yeah, but there's no bar
at the jail.

If they could have all
they want to drink, I'll

bet they wouldn't worry
much about the food.

What'll we have?
Go for some more champagne?

Mmm! Like we did last night?
Yeah.

That was fabulous.

But I had the most terrible dream.
You did?

I dreamt I lost my beautiful...

Hello, Charlie. Haven't seen you
for a week or two, Colonel.

Where have you been? We've been
doing our drinking at home.

Two Tom Collins. And instead of
club soda, make it champagne.

Oh, no wonder you stayed home.

That was no dream.

It wasn't?

Didn't I have it on when I woke up?

When I came to, all you had on
was... my bathrobe.

Oh, yes.

I put that on for the milkman.

Now, let's see.

When was the last time I wore it?

I seem to remember taking it out
of a hatbox.

Say, that was in Yuma.

Mmm, Yuma.

I know where it is.

Where are you going?

I washed it when we got back here, and it's
been hanging out on the line ever since...

along with the rest
of my nice underwear.

Oh, if anybody's taken it
Don't worry. Nobody's gonna bother it.

Are you sure?
Of course I'm sure.

And what's the difference?
I can always buy you another one.

Mmm.

Not like this one.

Does it mean that much to you?

(ENDS)
(APPLAUSE)

Hello, Jim.
Oh.

Well, everything seems to be okay
with you two. How can you tell?

The light in the lady's eyes. The light
that was never seen on land or sea.

When did you get back?
Just a little while ago.

You're wanted on the phone.

Honest? Just heard 'em
paging you in the lounge.

I'll be right back.
Will you stay with Anna?

Certainly.

Please hurry.

Do you have a call for me, Henry?
Yes, sir.

You can take it in the office.

Well, Jim.
General.

We got our okay from Washington.
Swell.

But I don't like this business.
I never have. Why?

I don't want you
to stick your neck in a noose.

Oh, I'll be all right. I
don't see how anything

can go wrong the way we've
got things worked out.

Maybe.

But I want you to know, if you have any
doubts, it isn't too late to say so.

Do you understand? That's why
I didn't bring Rivers and Sinclair along.

You can back out right now.
I'll take the bump. Be glad to.

Thanks, General,
but I wouldn't miss this for anything.

No kidding.
So long, sir.

Thanks, Rex.
Oh, you don't have to thank me.

I don't mind babysitting
this kind of a baby.

Any news?

Yeah.

See ya later.
Okay.

Is this it?

Have they finally decided
what they're going to do to us?

Yes.
What about you?

They're gonna let me off
with a reprimand.

Is that all?
Oh, that's fantastic.

They don't suspect you
of any complicity?

Why should they?

This is really an amazing country.

Do you know what
they'd do to you in Russia?

They'd either shoot you
or send you to the uranium mines.

Oh, Jim, I'm so happy for you.

All right. Tell me.

As good as it is for me,
it's that bad for you.

Go on.

Looks like 15 years
in the penitentiary...

the way they're tightening up
on you commies.

Five years. That's the worst they
can do to me, and a $10,000 fine.

Put 10 years on top of that
for transmitting stolen information...

and another $10,000 fine.

Why? Well, they got that
report you tried to send out.

Fifteen years?

I'll be an old woman
by the time I get out.

What about us?
Where will you be?

I was thinking the same thing.

I've never had too much fear of death,

but somehow this seems
more frightening.

Fifteen years!

I wouldn't expect you
to wait that long.

It wouldn't do any good if I did.

They'll deport you
when you've done your time.

When are they going to arrest me?
I don't know.

Maybe not till after the dance.
It usually breaks up around 2:00 or 3:00.

Five hours.

That's a long time.

You gonna try and make a break for it?
Do you think there's a chance?

Well, there's only two of those men
from the F.B.I.

One of'em's probably out in front,
and one out in back.

Now, the ladies' room
is on the east side.

If you were to drop out a window...
It's no use.

I couldn't get out of this field. It's
too well-guarded. How do you know?

I tried it night before last
after you were asleep.

Well, how'd you get by those F.B.I. Men
that were planted around our house?

I've had a lot of experience
in that sort of work.

And the only way you can get out of
this field is to have a gate pass.

I'm thinking of an easier way.

What's that?
I could take you out by plane.

Are you insane?
Haven't I got you in enough trouble?

I won't get in any trouble over this.
Why not?

If we leave now, we'll probably be in
Siberia before this dance breaks up.

Siberia?

Let's go on in and finish our drinks.

First call for French 75's
I've had in a long time.

They're all right
if you like a direct hit.

Well, here's one for the road.

Are you serious?

What else could I do?

I don't think I'd be very happy
without you.

They have anything like this
in Russia?

We can get the champagne.
I don't know about the gin.

I can make 'em with vodka.

Are they as good?

All right if you don't
mind the Russian breath.

What's that?

Knocks everything over within 15 feet.

(LAUGHS, COUGHING)

(BIG BAND RESUMES)

(ENGINE POWERING UP)

Where ya been?
I went back to the house.

Back to the house?
What for?

You think I'm gonna go back
to Russia without that nightgown?

Oh!

Well, he's off.

Godspeed.
Amen.

What is it, Sergeant? Oh, sir.
I'm worried about this F-94.

Number 479. It took off
from here about a half

hour ago. Colonel Shannon?
What about him?

Well, it looks like he's heading
for Siberia instead of Palmer Field.

Siberia?

Hello, Air ForceJet 479.
This is Fighter Control.

Fighter Control calling
Colonel Shannon in 479.

This is Colonel Shannon in 479.
Go ahead, Freddie.

Colonel Shannon,
do you know where you're going?

According to our radar,
you're headed west over the Bering Sea.

Yes, I know where I'm going.

So long, Freddie.

He says he knows where he's going.

Did you hear that, Anna?

Looks like the soup has hit the fan.

I'm surprised we got this far
before they found out.

Every jet outfit in Alaska
is probably scrambling to head us off.

ANNA: They'll never catch us. I'm
more afraid of our jets. Why?

You better stop dropping down a little.
What for?

At this altitude, you'll
be showing up on the

Soviet radar net in
less than five minutes.

What about it? Your radio
transmitter's on the wrong frequency.

So I can't identify myself
if they intercept us.

They won't shoot if we lower our
landing gear. Oh, yes, they will.

Okay, I'll go down on the deck.

I have one of my own.

What am I saying?
Refusing an American cigarette.

Why did you let him
destroy that plane?

If he hadn't, our fighter
and the flak would.

Why didn't you shoot
our fighter down?

I told Shannon to, but he said
he didn't come over here to start a war.

War? What war?
That's idiotic.

Why didn't you shoot Shannon? I didn't
have anything to shoot him with.

Nonsense. You have been taught
to kill without weapons.

I thought of that.
Then why didn't you do it?

I couldn't make up my mind at the moment
which was the most valuable to us...

the plane or my husband.

Is that why you decided in his favor?

No. He's one of the best jet men
in the United States.

You couldn't ask
for a better encyclopedia.

And you're one of the best in this country,

and I cannot believe the Americans
got much information out of you.

Of course not.
But this is different.

Why?
The man's in love with me.

There's nothing he wouldn't do for me.

You believe he's completely
under your domination?

Haven't I proved that?

Vassily, I am glad to see you again.

This is my husband,
Colonel Shannon,

late of the United States Air Force.

Colonel Shannon, it's a rare
privilege to welcome an American

Air Force officer to the
Soviet Union, however late.

You're the first, but I hope
you will not be the last.

I hope so too.

And I salute your courage...
and your judgment.

It's quite a story.
Would you like to hear it?

No, no, I've heard all about it.

My interest in you
is going to be purely technical.

(BUZZER SOUNDS)

You've had a long day's travel.
You must be a little tired.

I haven't been getting
much rest lately.

Show this gentleman to his quarters.

I'll call on you tomorrow
around 10:00.

Okay, sir.

Well, go ahead.
After you, sir.

Go on!
You go first.

We insist. What's the
matter with these guys?

Well, they were told to follow us.
How can

they follow us if you
tell them to go ahead?

Oh.

Pardon me.

Why are they following us?
I'm afraid your

movements here will be
more or less restricted.

Maria.
Olga.

Who was that? Don't you remember
that famous woman sniper?

The one who killed over a hundred Germans?
That's her.

Well, is that the way
you reward your heroes?

Well, the trip she made to the States had
rather a strange affect on her. It did?

When she came back,
she started shooting at Russians.

Right in there, sir.
The door is unlocked.

Not quite as nice as your place
in Palmer Field.

Palmer Field.

Are you sorry you left it?

Would it do any good if I were?

No. Why worry about it? Come on.

My quarters are over there.
Your quarters?

I received very definite orders
to that effect before I left Moscow.

What's wrong? You're my wife, aren't you?
Yes, but orders are orders.

What are they up to?
Are they trying to put pressure on me?

Well, you haven't been
too cooperative.

I've been talking my head off.
That's true.

But so far, you haven't told us anything
we don't know. Well, it's not my fault.

There's a lot of stuff
I seem to have forgotten.

I can't make it out.

I usually have a pretty good memory.

I may see you tomorrow.
Well, wait a minute.

Why? This is all so sudden.
I'm gonna miss you.

Don't worry. You'll have
a batman to look after you.

A batman?
What do I want with a batman?

He'll come in and he'll cook for you and
clean up, do your laundry and so forth.

And so forth? Shall I let him
wash that nightie of yours?

Did I put that in your suitcase?
Oh, don't let the batman touch it.

Please hide it somewhere for me.
Hide it?

He'll steal it.
A nightgown?

You can't buy anything like that in the
Soviet. I wouldn't lose it for anything.

I'm not even going to wear it anymore.
I don't blame you.

I'll bring it over to you after dinner.

You'd better not.

You mean I can't come
and see you if I want to?

Not unless I receive orders to that effect.
And you can't come and see me?

No.
I won't stand for it.

I don't know what else you can do.

I'll complain to Washington.

Well, it looks like Shannon
still has everything under control.

Did you hear
from the State Department?

The Russian government says
they have no record...

of a ColonelJames Shannon being found
in Siberia or elsewhere as yet.

I guess that means Shannon
hasn't reached the end of his rope.

When are you gonna raise the ante?
Ten days, two weeks.

We might offer as high as half a dozen
Soviet agents in exchange forJim.

Well, I think it ought to
be done right away. Why?

Well, he might run out of stuff to tell
'em. You heard what that Russian dame said.

To them, pressure means torture...
or worse.

I'd like to know what that drug is
that they use. We know what it is.

The same stuff they gave
Cardinal Mindszenty? Mm-hmm.

Worst part of it,
they've improved it.

Now it even makes you forget
that you've forgotten.

We've been making excellent progress
with Colonel Shannon.

Until yesterday, I've been completely
satisfied in regard to his sincerity.

What happened? Well, I brought up the
matter of the parasite fighters.

He said he had
no experience with them.

That's quite possible.
I don't think so.

We know they've perfected their method
of hooking back onto the mother bomber,

which could only have been done
by experts of his type.

He never mentioned
any such work to me.

I still think you might
be able to help us. How?

Perhaps you can persuade him
to show us their method.

You mean for him to
actually fly one of our

parasite jets and return
it to the mother bomber?

Do you want him to be killed?
Of course not.

But you know there must be something
wrong with our methods or our equipment.

We've already lost several
of our best pilots.

If our equipment or our methods
are at fault,

then Colonel Shannon will naturally
tell us what's wrong before he uses them.

That seems reasonable.

Whether or not he'll see it that way,
I can't promise.

Why not? This is a
matter of vital tactics.

You should have no trouble.
Why?

He betrayed the United States for you.
He became a deserter on your behalf.

Compared to that,
this parasite fighter thing means nothing.

Well, I suppose not.

And then again,
it may be the last straw.

For him, or for you? Why not for me?
What do you think I'm made of?

Isn't there a limit of what can be asked
of me too? I know how you feel, Olga.

But you've done pretty well
with him so far. I know.

But I think it's a mistake
to use me at this point.

And I wish you'd tell Moscow so.
It's too palpable...

I'm sorry, Olga,
but you have no choice in the matter.

I was instructed to give you this
in case you proved reluctant.

See ya tomorrow, boys.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Hello, Jim.
Hello, Olga.

Why don't you come over here?

The payload on that bed
is pretty low.

(CHUCKLING)

You don't seem surprised to see me.
Why should I be?

I've been expecting you, Olga.

"Olga."
You haven't called me that lately.

Well, I always think of you
as two girls...

Anna, the lovely kid
I thought was a refugee,

and Olga, a Soviet Tootsie Roll
that made a chump out of me.

You still hate me for that,
don't you?

And you came here tonight
to do the same thing.

They said they'd transfer me
if I didn't.

Where?
To Hungary.

Well, what's so terrible about that?

Do you think I could survive
being separated from you?

Where did I hear that before?

It was true then.
It's even more true now.

What are you talking about?
I don't know. I...

I guess I've fallen in
love with you. Huh?

I've fallen in love with you!
I thought you didn't believe in it.

I don't.
I thought I hated you...

as much as I hated your country
and everything it stands for.

And now you only hate
my country?

I don't hate anything.

That's what makes it so strange.
I can't understand it.

You're good, Olga.

I gotta hand it to you, baby.
You're the best I've ever seen.

You don't believe me?
Why should I?

All right. Let me go.
Why?

Why should I stay here?
Why shouldn't you?

You don't believe me.
You still hate me.

Will you stay if I show 'em
how to handle that parasite fighter?

Are you serious?

It's all you wanted,
wasn't it?

Well, of course.
Then they won't transfer me.

Okay, it's a deal.

Oh, Jim!

But I'm not doing it for you.

I'm doing it for myself.
Yourself?

Sure. There's nothing secret
about that parasite fighter stuff.

But I knew if I held out on it,
they'd send you over to work on me.

Nothing secret about it?

All the magazines and papers
in the United States...

have had big spreads on it,
including diagrams.

And we only do that with projects
we've decided to abandon.

Still love me?
Oh, let me go!

Why? You think I'd stay
here another minute?

Why not?

(GRUNTS)

Ooh!

(SCREAMS)
Give me back my pants!

(SOBS)
Give me my pants!

Shh! You'll wake up the guards.
(GASPS)

Will you give me my pants?

What are you hiding behind that barrel for?
Why don't you get in it?

Give me back my pants!

I think I'll keep 'em for a souvenir.

(MARCH)

(KNOCKING)
Jim! Jim! Open the door!

Open the door!
Please, hurry!

Open the door! Please, hurry!
What do you want?

Open the door!
Why?

The whole regimental band
is coming down the street!

The regimental band?
How many pieces?

Oh, I don't know.
Open the door!

Where's that doorknob?
Right there on the floor.

Oh, here it is.
Hurry!

Hurry!

You're gonna have to cooperate a little.
What do you mean?

Gonna have to do a little pushing
from the other side.

What are you looking for?

I've run out of cigarettes.
Have you got some?

Russian ones.

Where'd you get these matches?
Out of your jacket.

If you ever hear of me holding out again,
you'll know it's on account of two things...

American cigarettes
and American coffee.

Those generals cleaned me out.
(PHONE RINGING)

I guess that's for me.

Yes?

Yes, this is she.

Good morning, Colonel Sokolov.

Yes, he's agreed to show us all he knows
about the parasite fighter.

Good. I'll tell him.

He's coming by for you
in a few minutes.

Why didn't you tell him
our people had found out

the whole business wasn't
worth the trouble?

He wouldn't believe it.
Why, these matches are from Yuma.

Yeah, I've been keeping 'em
for a souvenir.

Oh, Yuma.

May I have them?
Not a chance.

Oh, Jim.
What's this? Nothing.

Then why'd you snatch it like that?

I'd better get the rest
of my flying togs.

Give me those matches, Jim.

Now, don't get all excited.
I'm serious.

Then why have you got the safety on?

(GROANS)

You sure know your stuff, Olga.
You're not so bad yourself.

I was only kiddin' ya.

That's just a list of the things
they've been questioning me about.

It's quite clear.

I only jotted 'em down
so I wouldn't get all mixed up.

I told ya how I keep forgetting.

Perhaps. But it's also
an almost complete list...

of every weakness
in the Soviet Air Force.

Well, that isn't my fault. There isn't a
thing there they haven't asked me about.

You can check
with Colonel Sokolov.

I'm going to check with
Moscow first. Why?

You've swindled him too.
Me? What did I do?

What did you do to me?

Oh, you weren't such a chump after all.
You made a chump out of me.

You made chumps out of all of us, you...
you Yankee gangster.

And all the time, I thought it was
because you... Now you know how I felt.

Is that why you did it?

Could be.

The idea of paying you off in rubles
was pretty hard to resist.

You risked more than I did.
It was worth it.

One thing I can't understand.

Now that you've gathered
all this information, how

did you ever plan to get
out of Russia with it?

Same way I got in.
What do you think I am?

I'm not worried.
You've got too big for it.

Big for what?
Your Soviet straightjacket.

Is that a fact?

Wait a minute, Olga.

If you turn me in, you'll be
turning yourself in too. Why?

You brought me here, didn't you?

And if I know Moscow,
we'll both end up against the same wall.

Don't worry. They won't shoot you.
Why not?

You're 10 times more valuable as an enemy
agent than you ever were as a traitor.

What are you gonna do,
have me stuffed?

Courage won't help you.
Your government trusts you.

And if I know Moscow,
they'll really make use of that.

All that bunk about love last night.

I knew it wasn't on the level.

Or was it?
Stay where you are, Jim!

Must be Colonel Sokolov.

Let him in.

Let him in yourself.

Good morning, Colonel.
Be right with you.

Pardon me, Colonel.

If this be forever, baby,
then forever fare thee well.

This is Lieutenant Orlieff. I wish to
speak to General Langrad in Moscow.

Yes, General Dimitri Langrad.

(RINGING)

Yes? Who?

Put her through.

I'll call you back.

Well, Olga, what can I do for you?

Something has happened
that I must report, sir.

Go ahead.

It's in regard to my husband,
Colonel Shannon.

Well,

I, uh...

I merely wanted to suggest that...

Colonel Sokolov be a little more discreet
when interrogating him.

Well, my husband has been
talking things over with me,

and while he doesn't seem
to realize it himself,

it's quite clear to me that Colonel
Sokolov is only questioning

him about subjects we've made
little or no progress in.

What's wrong with that?

Oh, you think he should
be more subtle?

I'll think it over.
Perhaps you're right.

I had no idea Colonel Sokolov
was so well-informed,

or you either for that matter.

If you're gonna get
anywhere with these things,

you'd better breed yourselves
a race of midgets.

What are you doin' over here?

I heard you were going
to make the drop in this thing today.

They're sure in an awful rush.
No wonder you lose so many pilots.

If you're not ready to do it, you
don't have to do it. Who said so?

Colonel Sokolov. He promised me that.
But he

hasn't been around for the
last couple of weeks.

He was sent to Moscow. But why don't
you wait until he comes back?

Oh, I'm as ready as I'll ever be, but...
But what?

That rocket motor's about as reliable
as a $2 coronet.

Even with you working on it?

We only let you people steal
our defective stuff.

Yeah, I know that.

That's why I'm so worried about you.

Don't worry, baby.
I love you too.

You're not lying to me?
What are we gonna have for lunch?

Same as we had yesterday.
Blintzes!

We had those the day before too.
Well, what would you like?

How about a nice, big, juicy steak?

Mmm! Palm Springs.

Haven't you anyplace
like that around here?

I don't think there's anyplace
like that in the whole world.

There's Colonel Matoff.

Aren't you gonna say good-bye?

Oh, no. Good luck.

Colonel Matoff!
My dear Olga, how you've changed.

Changed? Yes, you're more
beautiful than ever.

Colonel Matoff!
Oh.

How is everything in Berlin?
Well the,

uh...

the Americans are still there.

(CHUCKLES)

I must congratulate you on the way
you've handled this one of yours.

Moscow is very pleased
as you shall see.

They've given you
another important project.

Excuse me.

I must find Colonel Sokolov.

If you mean your superior officer,
you won't have to look very far.

Why?
I'm taking his place.

This is the passenger
mentioned in your orders.

Captain Orlieff,
may I present Lieutenant Diompkin.

"Captain"?
You've been promoted.

Lieutenant Diompkin
is your assistant.

Really?
Your plane is ready, Captain.

I'll be with you
in a few moments.

Uh, Colonel Sokolov, he has
been promoted also? Oh, yes,

to the uranium mine.

Colonel Sokolov?
(LAUGHING)

You're the only one who hasn't been
contaminated by this American.

Thank goodness I shall have
no personal contact with him.

Why?

He's to be exchanged for five
very valuable countrymen of ours.

When?

Well, if he doesn't
get blown up in that thing,

I have orders to send him
to Moscow tomorrow...

where, I imagine, he'll be turned over
to the American ambassador.

Tomorrow?

Oh, it's time for you to leave.

Now?
Yes, you must leave at once.

Tomorrow?

Why are you so concerned?

I think it's a great mistake.

To exchange this American?

Aren't you a little tired
of him by now?

You know my personal feelings
are of no consequence.

Then why do you say
it's a great mistake to exchange him?

I'm afraid he knows too much.
(CHUCKLES) Don't worry.

General Langrad
is taking care of that.

General Langrad?

He has ordered me to see that Colonel
Shannon be given the final medication...

before he is turned over
to the American ambassador.

Medication?

Didn't you know we've been
giving it to him all along?

No.
Yes.

Our new technique...

just in very small doses, of course.

Just enough to make him forget
his loyalty to his...

dirty, rotten, capitalistic country.

That's why his memory's
been so bad.

When he returns for lunch...

if he does return...

I'll arrange to have
the final dose placed in his food.

It will be a massive one,
but completely tasteless...

in either a stew
or an omelet.

But won't that destroy
his memory entirely?

(CHUCKLING)

In 36 hours,
he'll be a complete idiot.

Won't even remember who he is,
much less you.

And now if you'll pardon me,
I must talk with the local medical staff.

Good-bye.

You ever bailed out
of one of these planes before?

No, Captain. I'm not a flier.
I've never even been in a jet before.

I've, uh, been having
a little trouble with this one.

Maybe I'd better take it up myself
to make sure it's all right.

I'm sorry, Captain.

I've been ordered not
to let you out of my sight.

Is that a fact?

Yes, Captain.

I've been instructed
to go wherever you go.

Very well.

Get up in the back seat.
You can watch me from there.

Oh!

Now you put
the other foot over there.

(STRAINING)

Here.

You comfortable?

No, Captain,
it's rather a tight fit.

Oh. Well, in that case,
just pull that little red lever.

Then you'll have plenty of room.

Thank you, Captain.

Hey!
What's wrong?

He made a mistake. He pulled the seat
ejector instead of the seat adjustor.

Aah!

After you get this thing unbuckled,
buzz me twice before you turn me loose.

(BUZZER SOUNDS TWICE)
Okay! Tallyho!

"A" For Anna
calling "S" For Shannon.

"A"For Anna calling "S"For Shannon.

Hello, Olga. Go ahead.
This isn't Olga.

This is Anna.
I repeat: This is Anna.

Oh? What's on your mind?

That steak you were talking about.
Did you get one?

No. I'm afraid...

we'll have to get it at the same place
we had it last time.

I repeat: The same place.

The same place? What are you talkin' about?
Where are you?

You know that jet
that's guarding you on top?

Yeah.
I'm right underneath him.

I don't get it.
What's got into you?

ANNA:
I can only tell you, this is Anna.

(GUNFIRE)

JIM:
Have you blown a fuse or something?

ANNA:
I'll explain it to you later on.

(JIM CHUCKLES)
Okay, Anna.

Give me a flight plan to that steak joint.

Fly a course of 90 degrees
until further notice.

What about this jet
that's guarding me down here?

I'll take care of him.

Better move over to your right.
I might hit his fuel tank.

JIM:
Okay.

(GUNFIRE)

JIM:
Good work, baby.

JIM: What's next? How
much fuel have you got?

Four or five minutes. There's an
auxiliary field straight ahead.

I'll cover you when you land.
Here I go!

(GUNFIRE)

How much fuel have you got?
Enough to get us to Vienna.

Good. Give her the gun.

They're comin' after us like a nest of
hornets. Can you hear them on the air?

Look behind you.
You oughta be able to see them.

There they are.
Two MIGs coming out of 7:00.

Let them come. I'll take care of them.
What are you gonna do?

I don't know. I'm trying to think of
something, and you'd better do the same.

Those guys back there
are gettin' a little close.

Have you thought of anything?
See that big cloud ahead?

Yes.
Well, make a right turn into it.

Then when you get well inside of it,
whip to the left.

Maybe we can lose them. I was just
thinking the same thing. Here we go!

Cigarettes?

Cigarettes?

Mmm, Papa. Is this a steak,
or is this a steak?

I bet that's all
you came back for.

It's one of the reasons.

If I could make my people
realize that things like

this are better than all
the guns in the world...

What's the other?

Wipe off your chin.