Jamón, Jamón (1992) - full transcript

No one will stop me!
I'll be famous!

The world!

Unless your balls
make you famous.

Come on, come on!

I'm still not tired of saying...

Who buys men's underwear?
Women do.

And a good packaging helps sell.

- Name?
- Raul Gonzalez.

- Age?
- 22.

What do you do?

I deliver ham,
"The Conquerors" ham.



- Name?
- Jose Gabrieles.

- Age?
- 25 years old.

- What do you do?
- I work in a fruit shop.

- Name?
- Javier Lopez.

- Age?
- 24.

Where do you work?

In the Silver Gym.

- Name?
- Marc Damelsa.

Alright, you're in charge
of the campaign...

...but remember that our criteria
were followed for three generations.

The slogan "You have Samson inside you"
means everything to me. Don't forget it.

- Come on, Jose.
- Alright.

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, darling.

- I'll see you at 4 p.m.
- Alright.



Open up!

Silvia, open up!

Open up!

Dad! What's going on?

Go away.

Mom will be here any minute

Let me in.

I can't.
Mom would kill me.

Please, Silvia, I'm cold.
I need a drink!

Dad, I love you...

...but I can't do it.

What?

You get impossible
and Mom gets very upset.

Let me in!

- Remember last time.
- Open up!

Let me in!

I love you.

Let me in!

I told you
never to come back here!

You drunk bastard!

You wanna hit me again?

Either you leave right now
or I'll call the cops!

Who did you screw tonight?

You ask me
who I fucked with?

You left your daughters
and me without a cent!

Get it through your head!
I care about them!

And now what?

You want to beat them up?
Go on, kill them!

Shut up!

You bitch!

Mom.

You're not in love
with Dad, are you?

No, not any more.

But I have you.

- I love you.
- Come on.

I'm sick of omelets.

If it weren't for my mom,
you could count me out.

For what we get...

Omelets interest you
more than I do.

It's your fault,
you make them so well.

This really sounds great.

Jesus, it's too much!

Silvia!

What happened?

You fainted.
Did you hurt yourself?

I get dizzy lately.

What do you mean?
Come here.

Come on.

I've missed two periods.

Are you pregnant?

I'm a mess.

Why didn't you tell me?

Not even my Mom knows.

What can I do?

- I could have an abortion.
- What's that?

I don't want to be a bother.

I love you, Silvia.

You won't make omelets
for anyone.

Just for me.

We'll get married.

What about your folks?

I'm just an employee.

We'll get married
no matter what.

We'll tell my parents
tomorrow.

You'll come to the party
with me.

Can I eat your tit?

No

Hello?

Yes, Mom.

I'll be home for supper.

I can't speak now.

Bye.

My Mom.

How come you like eating
my tits?

I like...

...the way they taste.

What do they taste like?

I don't know.

You're sure they don't taste
like a potato omelet?

That would be fantastic.

One would taste
like an omelet...

...and the other, like ham.

Jose Luis.

When we have a house...

...can I have a closet
just to keep shoes?

Pablito, stop it!

You'll see how handsome
you'll look!

He asked me to marry him.

Come here, Pablito.

I've told you not to bring
the pig inside.

- His name's Pablito!
- Don't scratch!

- It itches a lot.
- Don't scratch yourself!

I'll get you some cream.

And take Pablito out
of here!

You wouldn't be pregnant?

- What's pregnant?
- Being in love. Go on.

- When will I be pregnant?
- The latest, the better.

I told you to be careful.

How far gone are you?
Pregnant!

I won't have you going
through what I did!

We'll get married.

Jose Luis said so.

Don't get your hopes up,
you know his mother.

He says we're to stay
for the party...

...after we deliver the omelets.

We're getting married. You'll see
how far I'll get in life.

You?
You're your Dad's shadow.

- What did you say, bastard?
- Everyone says so.

Now, don't get me upset.
You know I 've got a rotten temper.

Samson's got
a teeny joy prong.

What will you have?

A gin & tonic.

I 'm going to marry Silvia.

What's wrong?
I thought you'd be glad.

What about your folks?

I don't give a damn.

If they get on my back,
I'll leave and that's it.

Don't be silly.

What about your Mom?
Don't you know her by now?

I don't care. Everybody thinks
I can't do without them.

Well, I'm getting married.

I hope you're right.

I sure would be happy
for you to marry Silvia.

In that case,
I don't want you around.

Come on.

The cash register
is getting rusty.

Fun and money!

Show us the green stuff,
big spenders!

I'm the eldest employee
in this place.

Welcome to Samson's
retirees party.

I get old just by thinking...

...how far gone are the days
when I worked here.

Silvia, your mother-in-law's
a battle-ax.

Shut up, they'll hear you.

What's the big deal?

He's gonna introduce me
to his parents.

It tastes awful.

Too much garlic.
And so much salt too.

- Did your Mom like the omelet?
- Of course she did.

Will she like me?

The paella turned out
very well, didn't it?

Yes, lovely.

How do I look?

Mom,
Silvia wants to say hello.

Mom, here's Silvia.

Why is your Dad
with that whore?

- Who invited her?
- I did.

- Why.
- Because she's my mother.

Come on, Silvia,
forget about my mother.

Not everyone's Mom
is as good as yours.

Yeah, but they despise me
because of my Mom.

When I was 13, she worked
in a topless bar.

The poor thing couldn't serve a drink.
But she had to feed us.

At first, nobody bought omelets.

If Dad hadn't abandoned us,
it would've been different.

My Mom is the way she is.
I need time to tell her about us.

You're still awake?

How often have I told you
not to leave shoes around?

What is it?

Jose Luis hasn't told
his folks about us.

If I don't marry him,
I'll kill myself.

If you do,
I'll kick you alive.

Go to sleep.

Good night.

- Mom.
- What?

What?

I love you.

Honey...

You're the best Mom
in the world.

Gogh...

...nice doggie, nice.

Goddamn shoes!

My son will not go out
with that girl.

Her mother's a whore!

You should know,
you know her well enough!

That was ages ago.
She runs a bar now.

A bar?
You mean a whorehouse!

All women have
a whorish side to them.

Manuel!

My pearls!
The necklace broke!

Help me!
Can't you hear me?

- Jose Luis, is that you?
- Yes, it's me.

I won't have you dating
that girl.

We're getting married.

What?

You're not marrying
anybody, especially her!

Don't call Silvia
a "her"!

You're the only one
I care about.

What's wrong?
Don't you love me?

I don't want to hurt you...

...but, Silvia...

...Don't mention that name,
please.

You look pale,
are you tired?

- Come here.
- I'm exhausted.

Don't worry.

Relax.

When I was pregnant,
I spent my day in the pool.

My back hurt so much...

I drank only milk and ate fruit.

And listen to Mozart.

I wanted to relax you.

But I don't think
you liked it very much.

You kicked so hard.

I need her,
and she needs me.

Mom, Silvia's...

Let's drop the subject.

Why don't you take a bath?

Manuel, we must stop
this nonsense at once.

I 'm sure that girl
is after our money.

I 'm not going to lift
a finger.

If you won't do anything,
I certainly will.

- Name?
- Raul Gonzalez.

- Age?
- 22.

What do you do?

I deliver ham,
"The Conquerors" ham.

- Name?
- Jose Gabrieles.

The Conquerors, Hernan Cortes & Bros.
Hams and salamis.

Hi.

What is it?

You're not going
to eat them all?

No, but they're good
for circulation.

You were in the factory
the day of the pictures.

Yes, but
I'm here...

...to make you an offer.

There's good money
involved...

...and it's something easy
for you.

At night,
she's always alone.

Her mother's a whore.

She's after my son
for his money.

But I won't allow it.

Like this Mercedes?

Yes...

One day,
I'll have one too.

Alright...

...it's a deal.

What's going on?

Careful!
You'll get run over!

Come here, you'll get
run over by a truck.

- Here.
- Let me.

Careful, a truck.

- Who are you?
- My name's Raul.

I'll help you lock it up.

- Watch out!
- Relax, it won't run away.

How about a beer?

Can't I come in?

- Why not?
- Because I said so.

I 've got a boyfriend.

We're getting married.

That's nice.
But I don't mind.

But I do.

You're not the easy kind.

See you.

Can I help?

Get lost.

- You going out tonight?
- What's it to you?

Come on, tell me.
You going to the disco?

So what?
I'm going with my fiancee.

Come on, come over here.
Don't be scared.

Did you know ham
increases your sexual drive?

Shit!

Fucking hell!

Suck it.

Why don't you suck it?

You're a Pig!

And you're a "jamona".

You say we can't go out.

But, only we can do is
sex.

You're a Pig!

And you're a "jamona".

Tell her you're not sure
the kid's yours.

I'm not a stinker
and I know it's mine.

Silvia's only been
with me. For sure.

Jose Luis is still
with that drag-ass?

Yeah, but now
they're a trio.

If I'm going to marry,
we must speak to Dad.

Can we go?
I'm getting dizzy.

You'll get over it.
We just got here.

Come to the ladies'room.

- You're tastier than ham.
- Let me be.

- Who's he?
- A pig, that's who.

Hey, this is the ladies'.

- I'm a bit of a faggot.
- This is for girls!

Jose Luis is gonna
break your neck.

I like you.

Let me be!

Don't get the car dirty,
I washed it.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You ask me?
You're too much!

I'm pregnant
and you don't even care.

It's because of my Mom.

But I don't care.

I don't need my folks.

Paco and I will tell Dad
about that project.

If he refuses, I'll even
sell my car, anything.

You mustn't worry.

You may think it foolish,
but it's good publicity.

Panties for she-dogs,
for their period.

It's a new line,
we need new openings.

Hadn't you quit?

You really think people
would buy dog panties?

If we're to be the empire of shorts,
we must cover it all.

A leading American brand
doubled their sales...

...marketing articles
outside their regular line.

This isn't America.

We manufacture 35,000 mini-shorts.

And we can't even cover the orders.

The same thing happens with boxer shorts
and regular shorts with a fly.

Where on earth would we fit
a special panty...

...for she-dogs
in the production line?

Let me speak, Dad.
What do you want?

To make money or fool around?
This is business, son.

Basics, Hollywood,
Regatta, Rock...

...those are good shorts.

- They're within our line.
- And my ideas aren't?

Our line is basically
underwear for human beings.

We know about that.

Where would we sell
doggies'panties?

In Marbella,
for dogs from the jet set?

What are you doing here?

Gogh, what are you wearing?

Our dear son and one
of his new-fangled ideas.

You'd do better to think
about the next collection.

Don't start, Mom.
I'm sick your nagging me.

Nothing I do
ever please you.

You treat me
as if I were a child.

Prick.

Let's go to the room.

I already told you
we'd never do it again.

Prick, prick,
I like your prick.

Hadn't you quit smoking?

I need you.

One last time.

Come on.

No.

No.

Leave my tits alone.
They're not yours.

You can look,
but you can't touch.

I'm gonna turn you on.

Shall I do the parrot?

That's some shitty bike.

As soon as I save a little,
I'll get a super chopper.

I'm in business, man,
not like you.

Look, look,
isn't it beautiful?

We should fight them
start naked.

- You don't have balls.
- Who says?

Naked and with a hard one
on, goddamn it.

Here!
A bullock, man, see him?

Away from the herd.

He looks like a good bull,
look at that face.

- He's nice.
- Hey, bull!

Come on.

See him?

Alright, hand him over.

Very good.

Get ready.

Come on!

Look!

Come on!

Watch out!

Take a look at that!

Holy shit, the overseer!

Drop it!

Let's beat it, man!

Come on!

- Let's get the bike!
- That's where they are!

- Two son-of-bitches!
- Go take a look.

I'll see if she's in.

She is.

Call her.

Who is it?

A truck's coming!

- Who is it?
- It's me, Raul.

We need clothes.

What's going on?

We were with the bulls.
The overseer showed up.

You got any clothes?

Come in.

Come on.

- Thanks.
- Here.

- That baby's a dish.
- She sure is.

You got some oil
or something?

It's to clean the tar off
my feet.

Here, you do it.

Give me a hand.

I'll get a cloth.

Just let me.
Hear me?

Do I leave it here?

Watch out!

Did you know
that with a full moon...

...your blood flows faster?

And tides are stronger?

Did you eat garlic?

Sure I did.

Best thing to do
to bullfight and screw.

Come on, get out of here.

My mom will be here soon.

Can't I stay here tonight?

Look at the state I'm in.

I said no.

Alright, let's go.

What about another time?

Get lost!

Cutie!

Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

She sure plays cool.

Man, do I like her!

Hang on.

Drop it.

Wait, man.

- I sure like you.
- What?

I like you!

Come on, let's go.

Coming.

Don't worry, Ma'am.

Don't call me "Ma'am".
You make me feel old.

Why?
You look real young.

Really?

Trust me, I never lie.

You just relax, Ma'am.

Silvia's real pretty,
I'll end up liking her.

Will you end up liking me?

I already do.

Ever since the day
we were in the car.

Kiss me.

I can't.

Why not?

I've eaten garlic.
You'll notice the smell.

Garlic's what I like best
in the whole world.

You like garlic?

Here, for you.

It's a good luck charm.

You think
they'll have rooms?

I hope so.

I love your breasts,
white as mother-of-pearl.

Here.

Drink, slowly.

- You don't feel well?
- I'm fine.

Maybe you should have
some tea.

Booze doesn't affect me.
Tea does.

The only time I had one,
I puked.

It's so hot!
Close the curtains.

Come on, carry me.

Carry you?

It's been so long
since I had flown!

Wait, wait.

I wanna fuck you.
I wanna screw you.

Shouldn't I take
my panties off?

No, leave them on.

Shit, I can't.

You're too tense.

So tense.

Wait.

I don't get it,
it's never happened before.

Wait.
Here, relax.

Must be the champagne.

I was real hot for you,
and now, nothing.

Don't worry.

Take a deep breath.

You'll feel better.

But, but...
What's that?

I'll send you a dozen shorts
from the latest collection.

The Regatta, my own design.
They're real cute.

I can't.
Forget it.

Don't I turn you on?

You turn me on alright,
but I can't.

You said it without
my asking you.

Wait.

Yes.

Yes.

Do you like it?

I do.
I love it.

- Don't go see Silvia again.
- I won't.

- Swear it.
- I won't.

I swear it.

Whatever you want,
it's yours.

A bike.

A bike?

What brand?

A Yamaha 600.

Silvia's pregnant.

And?

Will you marry her?

Or, as usual, will you
do as your parents say?

Won't you ever take
a decision?

You can't even quit smoking!

Why do you harp on at me?

How can I tell her?
She won't let me.

You'll have to find a way.
Don't count on me.

Silvia's wonderful.

Don't let her escape.

Hi.
It's me.

- How's your sister?
- Fine, just fine.

You smell like garlic.

Probably something I ate
at the hospital cafeteria.

Jose Luis wants to talk
about Silvia.

Don't mention her
in front of me!

My poor head!
Where are my pills?

I live for you both
and you give me headaches!

Just look!
Like my bike?

I'll help you.

- Let me be!
- Alright, alright.

Look at my picture first.

- What picture?
- Stop, will you? Stop!

Turn around.

What do you say?
That's me.

Good. I 've seen you,
now what?

Don't you like it?

- You're a pig.
- And you're a "jamona".

You've a Samson inside.

Leave me alone.

- I'll give you a lift.
- No, thanks.

I can be there an back 100 times
while you walk home. So, just do it.

So what?

- Butterfly.
- Eat up.

Look, a bike!

He nearly fell off.

See, Pablito, that's a bike.

Let's go see it.

Come on.

Wait.

Are you alright?

I love you.

I love you.

If anything happened to Raul,
I 'd kill myself.

You're such a child!

You also said you'd kill
yourself for Jose Luis.

What about your child?

But I love Raul.

He's a no-gooder.
Don't ruin your future.

Look at me...

...none of the men
I 've known have loved me.

You mean Jose Luis' Dad?

- Hi, Marian.
- Hi.

- What's that?
- Nothing.

The girls' piggie.

Poor Pablito died.

What you gonna do?

Make an angel food cake.

Is this new, Mom?

Silvia, think about
what you're gonna do.

Promise you will.

We better break up.

I can't take it.

You're too immature.

What?

You failed me.

I 'm heart-broken.

It hurts here,

I can't bear it any more.

Wait!

What is it?
Don't you love me any more?

Is there someone else?

You don't care about me,
about the baby.

I'm doing all I can
and you know it. Come here.

I want to be with you.

Sit down.

Say something.

Come on.

Say you love only me.

Tell me you like my prick.

Touch me.

I can't.

Get up.

Get up!

Don't you want to make love?

Get up!

I may be immature
but I'm not an imbecile.

You like someone else!

You don't understand.

- You can't understand.
- I can't?

Like hell I can't!
Damn his fucking balls!

I sure do!
I get it alright!

Goddamn his fucking balls!

Shit!
I 'm sick of it!

Damn his balls!
Sure I get it!

You bet I do!

Go away!

You don't have balls,
that's what!

Jose Luis.

What is it?

Nothing.

What do you mean?

You and Silvia argued?

How come you're smoking?

I do whatever
I goddamn feel like!

- You're soaking wet.
- Mom.

She was with another guy.

What?

Another man?

Let's go.

- I must go home.
- Home?

Alright,
but we go to my place.

I don't want to leave you.
I'll never leave you.

I love you, Silvia.

Come on, Silvia,

Let's go.

You're crazy.

- I love you.
- You're crazy.

I love you.

Lovely.

Want some ham?
Good for your sex drive.

Give me some garlic.

You sure?

Here.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

Having a closet for shoes
isn't that important.

- Like them?
- I love their taste.

What do they taste like?

Like ham.

...omelet...

...onion...

...garlic...

- Isn't it disgusting?
- You bet.

Why do you do it?

Because I 'm going
to eat you alive.

- You're a pig.
- And you're a "jamona".

- What are you doing here?
- I followed you.

You want to see your girl
with someone else?

Mom, she's pregnant.

What?

Will you forgive me?

Forgive you for what?

No, for nothing.

- I need her.
- Now, don't worry.

Leave it all to me.

You just relax.

Why didn't you tell me
she was pregnant?

I tried.

Come on, hide.

Had you ever seen them
together?

No.

Now, calm down, Jose Luis.

- I'm going to kill him.
- What good will it do?

Wait here. I'll fix it.

- Who is it?
- Jose Luis'mother.

What are you doing here?

We must talk.

No, we mustn't.

You must marry my son.

I can't.

You must marry him,
he's heart-broken.

Besides, you're pregnant although
I think you should have an abortion.

The baby's mine,
I'll do as I please.

I won't marry Jose Luis.

Because of Raul?

How do you know Raul?

Because I paid him
to go to bed with you.

He's in love with me.

How do you think
he bought that bike?

What?

I need you!

We'll go away from here,
forever.

Let's go.

Let me be.

What can I do
to make you love me?

We're going home!

I'll kill him!
I swear I will.

Remember what I said.

Go home.

Let me be!
You've ruined my life!

Conchita!

You had to see her
after all I've done for you!

I'll see her
when I feel like it.

Although she's carrying
my son's baby?

You didn't know it, did you?

I'll be goddamned!
Fuck!

I need you, don't leave me.
I 'm heart-broken.

You're everything to me,
my love, my passion.

Even if it isn't true,
say you love me!

Say it!

I don't.
I don't love you.

Besides,
Silvia is the first...

...the only one,
the only true love for me...

...Raul Gonzalez.
The only one!

Shit.

I don't turn you on?

Yes, you do,
you turn me on alright.

I like your lips,
your eyes...

...even your hair.

Your breasts...

...l love your breasts.

Let me be.

Let me be!

I'll buy you a Mercedes.

Say you want me.

I want you.

Life plays strange tricks

I never got such a hard-on
as I did with you last time.

Don't worry, honey.

Nobody's ever gonna eat you.
Believe me.

Where's Carmen?

Eating outside
like cannibals.

- I wanna make love with you!
- We're about to eat.

I wanna fuck you!

I wanna fuck you!

I said I wanna fuck you!

And I told you
it was over.

Forget about Silvia,
she doesn't love me anymore.

You're a coward.
You let that bum take her away.

I'll show you he didn't
take her away from me.

I'll kill him!

I'll do it with you!

What's going on?

Leave Guaca alone!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Manuel!

I didn't know what to do.

What's wrong?

Jose Luis
is gonna kill Raul.

What?

You've got to do something!

What are you doing?

I don't know.

What are you doing?

The pearls!
Grab me by the pearls!

Open up!

- Who's that?
- Open if you've got balls!

- My son!
- Your son?

- He mustn't see me here!
- Your son?

- He probably saw the car.
- Cover yourself up.

Stay here.

Open up
if you've got balls!

You bet I've got balls!

What the fuck
do you drop that?

- Stop it!
- What are you doing?

- Get the hell outta here!
- Don't fight!

- Show yourself!
- I'll break your neck!

Show yourself, goddamn you!

Let him be!

Let him be!

- Whore!
- Stop it!

Fuck!

I'll kill you!

You're gonna get hurt!

I'll kill you!

What happened?

What happened?

I killed him.

Answer me!

Answer me!

Answer me!

Goddamn it!
What a shit!

What the hell
did you do to my son?

What is it?

Mom.

He's dead.

Good Lord!

Please, take care of her.

Let me.

Forgive me, forgive me.

My poor baby.