Intensive Care (2018) - full transcript

Three low-life criminals attempt to rob an elderly dying woman's home, but her live-in nurse turns out to be much more trouble than they bargained for.

Subtitles by explosiveskull



Come on.

Nice work.

I knew you would dispatch
Carson and McNalley easily,

but it was still fun to watch.

Did you really think I would
let you leave without a fight?

Go ahead.

Maybe I'll miss.

Come on.

I know you're better than this.


Is this your idea of
a going-away party?

I knew you'd love it.


Dang, Alex.

I think you gave
me a concussion.

Are those my replacements?

You're irreplaceable.

You had blanks in here, right?

Are you sure you're not
going to miss all of this?


I'm pretty sure I've had enough
excitement for one lifetime.

Why don't you let me
know where you're going?

I'll write you.

Oh, Jeremiah,
you know if I told

you that, I'd have to kill you.

You know, I never
really did apologize.

For what?

I know what happened
in the Philippines.

It changed things for you.

It's fine.

I've given a lot more pain
than I could ever receive.

What are you gonna give now?

Come on, now, show
me what you're working with.

Go ahead.

Give me just a little bit.

You know I like the
way you move it.

Come on, come on, get it on.

Come on, girl, show me
what you're working with.

In 200 feet,

turn left at Longdale Road.

That's not right.


Continue on Highway
57 for 143 miles.

past the grain mill.

Right at the stable.


I was just about to call you.

missed your deadline.

Wait... is it the
first already now?

30 days in September,
April, June, and Nov...

my bad.

I'll have the money to
you in a couple of days...

a week, tops... maybe two.

you ever see the skin

ripped off a man's hand...

all the bones and the
tendons still writhing about?


I can't say I have.

One week.

OK, showtime.

Oh, sorry.

Danny... yes.

Your grandmother
said you'd be coming.

Uh... yeah.

We're... we're very close.

Of course.

Come in.

She's upstairs.

So how much time
do you think she has?

I mean, how is she?

It's hard to say...

a few days or a few months.

I don't know.

Today's been one
of her good days.

She's very lucid.

I'm sure it helps
having family around.


Look, Claire.

Your grandson, Danny, is here.

She's nearly deaf.

Hi, Grammy.

Uh, your nurse here says
that you're doing very good.

I spoke to your doctor.

He's very optimistic about
your most recent blood work.

Oh, here, let me... let
me help you with that.

Hey, these pillows are
a little bit small.

She might be more
comfortable with bigger ones.

Her heating pad is off.

You must be cold.

I'll go get that.

All right.

You can
cut the shit, boy.



The only reason I didn't
have Alexandra there tell you

to turn right around
and drive away

is because the poor girl
hasn't been laid in years,

and I thought you'd at
least be useful for that...

the only useful skill you
inherited from your father.

Your poor father
put so much time

and money into you
only to see you

disappoint him at every turn...

probably what sent him
to such an early grave.

I may be deaf, but
I'm not stupid.

I know why you're here.

I can only assume you've
burned through your trust fund.

And here you are now playing
world's greatest grandson.

It gives me great pleasure
to tell you that when I die,

you will get nothing.

While you may be my
last blood relative,

technically, you are a
bastard, a painful remnant

of my son's extramarital
affair with that harlot

you call Mother.

If you want to keep up the
charade, I can't stop you.

But you are
wasting your time.

Who's ready for some tea?

breathe without you.

Can't breathe without you.

Can't breathe without you.

Well, well, well,
look who it is.


Hey, Seth and... well, um, hello.


Good to... good to see you.

Is it?


See, that surprises me.

What are you doing around here?

I'm just...

I'm just visiting
my grandmother.

How is she?

She's still alive.


So you're just being
the good ole grandson,

just checking in on her, right?

Yeah, pretty much.

Now I kind of feel bad.

See, I thought you came
back for all of her money.

I remember when you were a
kid, all you used to talk about

was that, um, that inheritance.

But I guess you're just checking
in on her and all, right?


Is everything
OK here, gentlemen?

Yes, everything here is great!

Thanks for asking.

I'm going to buy
this guy a drink.

- Oh...
- No, no.

You know what?

Let's make it three.

We might be here a while.

Man, it is so good to see you.

It is so good to see you.

then, she's like,

you're a disappointment
or some shit.

And then she says,
you're not going

to get a penny, which
is really messed

up because I had plans for it.

Probably just going to give it
to a stupid, bullshit charity.


Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, but I'm sitting
here trying to remember

the last time that I saw you.

Was it DC?

You know what?

I think it was DC.

You know, it's
getting kind of late,

so I should probably
just get going.

You see, he was
just a young punk

trying to run with our crowd.

And honestly, we'd just tell
him to piss off... remember that?

But he shows up with
a hot tip on a money

drop in this old, busted safe.

It was just too good to ignore.

I would just go this way.

So there we are, me and my
crew on the day of, and we

realize this piece-of-shit
safe is so rusted,

we can't even open it up.

So Einstein here
takes a sledgehammer

to the hardwood floor that's
connected to the safe.

And then we have to carry
the damn thing out to the van

and jimmy it open
before the cops show up.

And guess what's inside?

Nothing... absolutely nothing.

Now, I'd vouched for
this guy right here,

and I'm standing
there with my crew

with our pecker in our hands.

Yeah, but Seth, I told you,
I got some bad information

about that drop.

You know, my crew actually
thought that you lifted

some of that money in transit.

And I said no, no, no.

That is absolutely ridiculous.

But it would account
for this Rolex

watch, the "Vesucci"
suit, and the $85 haircut.

Which is a hand-me-down,
a knockoff, and I get my hair

cut at a barber college!

Relax, relax.



Danny, hey, what's in
the past is in the past.

Hey, if that wouldn't
have happened,

I wouldn't be living the
dream I'm living right now.

Seth, I'm really sorry.

If there was any way that
I could make it up to you,

I would.

Oh, really?

Why don't you tell us a little
bit more about your granny.

Hey, Gunnar!

Is today payday?


Third Saturday of every month
except for April and November,

on account of the holidays.

You always seem so surprised.

$8, right?

$9 now... inflation on account
of those leftist hippies

raising the minimum wage.


Gunnar, I'm sorry, but
give me one second.

All right.

Here you go.

Now, can you break a $100 bill?

Do I look like I carry that
kind of change around with me?


Well, how about you take
the money and consider

us paid up for the
rest of the year?

I don't do business that way.

I get paid for the services
rendered and only then.


What kind of Hitler Youth camp
did your parents send you to?


How about you take this as
a tip for a job well done?

Uh, no.

No, no, no.

This seems like a trick.

You know what?

Have your money by
tomorrow or else

I'm going to have to report you.

Report me to who?

Just have it!

Bye, Gunnar.


What's with all the knocking?

You definitely have
your mother's brains.

Grandma, is everything OK?

I just want some privacy.

Where's your nurse, Alexandra?

was thinking the same thing.

She's supposed to tell
you to bugger off.

I really think you got the
wrong idea about me, Grandma.

Why don't we sit down,
and we can work this out?

I really care about you.

Not interested.

All right, Grammy.

Have it your way.

I'll just help myself.



Good that you're here.



So sorry to surprise
you like this.

I was, uh, just
running errands, and I

thought that I would swing by.

Did you get a
chance to say hi?

Uh, yep.

How did it go?


I'm sorry.

She's having an
especially bad day today.

Maybe try again tomorrow.


Hey, uh, what...
what are you doing

with the rest of your day?

Well, let me see.

I have to unload a truckload
of supplies, feed the horses,

change Claire's bedpan, then
treat myself to some mac

and cheese for dinner.

Well, I don't know what
the bedpan but let me

help you with the rest of that.

So how do you know Freddie?

We were overseas together.

Military guy.

You guys like it rough, huh?

I guess it's all that PTSD.

You're not blonde.



All right.
Straight to it.

I guess it's your hour.

Speaking of...

So what are you into?

Bad schoolgirl?

Or should I just
talk dirty to you?


Hey, come here.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Shh, shh, shh.

It's OK.
It's OK.

It's OK.
Hey, it's OK.

It's OK.

I'm not going to do anything.

I'm not gonna do anything, OK?

Shut up.

That's good.

That's good.

That's real good.

It's OK.



That's a good girl.

It's OK.


I'm sorry to hear she said that.


Not a dime.

Well, my only inheritance was
my father's old army rucksack.

And not to be a
one-upper or anything,

but your grandmother called
me Helen for the first year

I worked for her.


That was the name
of her last caregiver.

She figured we're
probably all the same.

You know, my dad was
like that with his dogs.

He'd get these giant
schnauzers, name them all Lurch.

Lurch One died.

Then there was Lurch Two
and Lurch Three and...

How many Lurches were there?

You know, I don't know.

I kind of lost track.


Stop, hey.
Look, enough.


Shut up.

- Help!
- Shut up!



Hey, look, look.

Stop it.
Stop it.

Come here.

Hi, Ginger.


Now, she can be
a little feisty...

kind of like her owner.

I can tell.

So Helen... sorry, Alex...

...what are you doing tonight...

you know, after
the mac and cheese?

'Cause I was thinking maybe
we can go get a drink.

Come on.

It'll do you some good
to get out of the house.

Plus, she'll be fine.

I don't know, Danny.

I don't think it's
such a good idea.

What time is Claire's bedtime?

These days, like,
um, around 7 o'clock.


Pick you up at 8:00.


Ginger agrees.

Ginger, what do you think?


...give you a call.

What the hell
are you doing, man?

We're about to hit the
biggest score of our lives,

and you're going to
screw it up by messing

around with a hooker?

Who's she going to tell, man?

She's a whore!

Shut up!

Shut up.

Come here.

Here, let's
get you out of here.

Come on.

She wasn't going
to tell anyone.

They always tell.

We should probably
wait to put these on.


I'll be right there.

Take your time.



Give me two seconds.

I'm going go check on
Claire one last time.

No worries.

Oh, shit!

Oh, what the hell is that?

That's Harold, my grandfather.

I had him stuffed.


It's a dummy.

I teach CPR on the weekends.

I do call him Harold, though.

You all set?

Yeah, let's go.

Bye, Harold.

How's Granny?

She's dead to the world.


You bury her.

I'll meet you out front.

And stash the truck somewhere.

It's about
to be on like a flame

when you strike a match.

When you're kissing me,
you're kissing me like that.

I feel overdressed.


No, you're great.

Come on.

Hey, excuse me.

Could we get a couple menus?

I don't work here.

But I think you need
to order at the bar.

OK, sorry.


Not starting out great, am I?


It's a dummy.

Come on.

Let's go check upstairs.

Let's go.

First time drinking beer?

What is that?

Strike two?

No, not at all.

But if I didn't
know any better, I'd

say you're a little nervous.

I'm a little nervous.

I thought you just
looked so stunning,

you just throw me off my game.


How about we just drop
the game, and let's

just enjoy some drinks and
have an adult conversation.

There it is!

Shut up.

You're going to wake
the old lady, all right?

It's a quick grab... in and out.

Shots on the house for
the good-looking couple.

Oh, thank you.

All right, when
were these ordered?

I... look, I did...
things are happening.

It is out of my control.

It's out of my hands.

Oh, it's out of
your control, huh?

We are a good-looking couple.

Yeah, you only live once.


Oh, no.

No, no, no.

You did not just say YOLO.

I think I did.





OK, Danny, really.

I have a confession to make.

Oh, yeah?

I was surprised
you asked me out.


Did you think you
weren't my type?

No, no, it's not that.

I just thought you were gay.

Wait, what?

- Why?
- No.

It's not a bad thing.

You're just... you
know, you're more,

um, put together than most
of the guys around here.




Melnick, Melnick, Melnick.

You got to be kidding me.

Hey... psst.

Nothing here says Melnick.

How in the hell we gonna
open this thing up?

Come over and help me.

Girl, you are twisted.

OK, you know, see...

right there, that's the kind
of stuff that confuses people.



"Girl, you are twisted."

OK, that sounded
a little confusing.

All right.


You might still get lucky today.

Just sec.

Let me just see who this is.

Is everything OK?





This beer's really got to me.

I'm just going to,
um, be right back.


What's wrong?

model of safe, you dipshit.

This is some kind of
hobnail I've never heard of.

Keep her busy another hour.

Easier said than done.


Your charm's not working?

It's working too well.

I don't know how much
longer I can put her off.


Much better.


Looks like we're ready
for another round.

It's late.
Let's go home.



We caused enough
damage already.

All right.

Well, let me just get the tab.

I already did.

Everything OK?

I just shouldn't have
left her that long.

I have a bad feeling.

I'm sure she's fine.

Hey, it's a beautiful night.

Let's go for a walk.



Son of a bitch.


Everything OK?


Did you say something
a minute ago?



Oh, my god.

I'm so sorry I
rushed out like that.

I feel like such an idiot.

We were having such
a good time and...

No, no, no.

I just... I got spooked a bit.

I... I'm really sorry.

Listen, I completely
understand, all right?

You're just doing your job.

You know, we can
still have a good time.


Pretty presumptuous,
don't you think?


Just kidding.


That was unexpected.


I'm gonna sleep so good tonight.

Yeah, me too.

I guess this means no
breakfast in the morning?

No, I just figured
you'd want to sleep in.

No, it's fine.

What was that?

You wait here.

I'll go check it out.

isn't what we talked about.

We gotta figure out the
damn combination of the safe.

We ought to be gone by now.

Let's just walk away.


We're sticking to the plan.

You assholes.

You were supposed to tell
me when she wakes up.

There goes saying I had
nothing to do with this.

I can not believe
she had sex with him.

That's kind of surprising.

I actually thought you were gay.

You watch her.

We're going to go
take care of the safe.


You've been at it all
night, Seth, Rudy.

Thanks for saying
our name, Danny.

Hey, you're not
doing me any favors.

I don't care what she knows.

Once we get that
safe open, she dies.

Whoa, hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I did not agree to that.

Shut up!

She stays alive for now,
until we get the money.

After that, who knows?

Let's go.

You know how to use this?

Of course.


I guess there's not going
to be a second date, huh?

All right, look, if I...

I take off the gag, you
promise not to scream?

Danny, you don't
need to do this.

We can just walk away.

I can't do that.

I want to go.

What time is it?

Claire will be up
any minute now, and...


We will cross that
bridge when we get to it.

Just for... for now,
just sit tight.


I've read it 12 times.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What in the hell are you doing?


What are you doing?

Worth a shot.

Now, if I go bust in on
that old woman right now,

I guarantee you I'm
getting that combination.

Yeah, and she'll probably
have a friggin' heart

attack in there, too.

You know she has one of those
life [INAUDIBLE] or something.

We don't need that
added complication.


You got it.

Step one.

We're getting there.

You know, you're the
first person I've been

with in a really long time.

You're not going to get all
sentimental on me now, are you?

Because I just...
I was just trying

to get you out of the house.

I mean, you weren't
really into me, were you?

I... I didn't take you
as a romantic type.


reconnaissance regiment.

Things just got a
lot more interesting.

So Rudy tied you up pretty
good, so it's pointless.

You see, the thing about
tying someone up to a chair...

it isn't about how tight you
do it or how thick the rope is.

It's not even how
strong the person is.

The only thing that matters
is how strong the chair is.






Get off him.


That's enough!

What are you doing?

Just shoot her.

Just shoot her!


Hey, just so I'm clear, you
knew I had a vest on, right?

She still here or she
make a run for it?

She's still here.

How do you know?

I saw something.

Let's just say
crazy knows crazy.

You gonna tell me what
the hell just happened here?

What's this about a special
reconnaissance regiment?

They're no joke.

Special forces...
mostly Black Ops.

I crossed paths with a few
of them in Afghanistan.

They were like ghosts.

So you're telling
me we got a big problem.


Nothing I can't handle, though.


Hey, it's a good
thing your grammy's deaf.

So I thought you
said you knew her.

Any other surprises you'd
like to let us in on?

Hello, gentlemen.

There's an intercom
in the house.

Well, hello
there, little lady.

I don't suppose
there's any scenario

that allows us all to walk out
of this house in one piece?


I don't see how that's possible.

Well, since you can't be
bought and you won't leave,

I guess we're going to have
us a little bit of a dogfight.


You really care about that
old lady that much, huh?

All right.

It's time for you
to earn your money.

I don't want to see or hear
from that tramp ever again,

you got it?

And you, lover boy, you're
pretty much useless.

Hey, you're going
to need all the help

you can get with that girl.

Try again.

OK, well, till
that safe is open,

you have no idea what
else might happen.

All right.

But if you start to
become a liability,

I will not think
twice about putting

my boot through your skull.

You got that?

I'm sorry about that.

I was going to say something,
but I was enjoying the show.

Well, I enjoyed giving it.

So this Danny guy,
that's your type?

I thought for sure you'd go for
someone with a bit more edge.

I saw your tags.

I'm impressed.

I, uh, opted for
the Marines myself.

Well, you know what they say...

join the Air Force
if you have no guts.

Join the Marines if
you have no brains.

Let me guess...


No... Section 8?

Officially, no.


All right.

We were on a scout
just south of Azizabad.

that, we start taking

gunfire from atop this hill,
so I didn't waste any time.

I grab the M-80...

pop, pop, pop, pop,
pop, pop, pop...

I started carving up the
forest, predator style.

And after about a
minute, my lieutenant,

he's screaming at me.

Hold your fire!

Those are our guys!

I thought to myself,
I don't care who it is.

They fired first.

So I kept going.




...till they were dead...

all of 'em.

Shit, the rest of the guys in
my squad were so terrified,

no one said a word.

I thought for sure,
once I got back to camp,

I'd be court-martialed.

But no, they... discharge.

Half a pension.

I guess they didn't want
the, uh, bad publicity.

But see now... now, I feel
like I'm talking too much.

Tell me more about you.

But see that...
that right there...


I wouldn't do that
if I were you.


What's in your belt?

I can grab that knife
and throw it in your neck

before you can even
get the hammer cocked.

Show me.


Not bad.

Not exactly my neck but not bad.

Oh, oh.

Not bad for a marine, huh?

Not bad at all.

You don't think Rudy did
anything to her, do you?

Well, I got some bad news
for you there, lover boy.

This doesn't end
with the two of you

running off to the Caribbean.

I know that.

It... it's just that
you said that nobody

was going to get hurt.


Go check that out.


Man, come on.

Hey, is
that your grandmother?

Is she ambulatory?

Can she walk?

Yeah, I think so.

Actually, I don't know.


Hey, what the hell is this?

Get up here now!



Where's your friend?

Well, I guess it's safe to say
you're not some ordinary nurse.

Bet you didn't
know, little lady,

but I did a little
time in the pen.

Oh, yeah.


Delaware State Penitentiary.

Yeah, I did a variety of shit
jobs but none more important

than the time I was
down at the gallows.

Did you know that Delaware
is one of the last states

to use hanging as a form
of capital punishment?

And yours truly, he
got to witness one.

You know, the thing about
hangings, the lucky ones

would have their necks
snap from the drop,

and they'd be out
like that.

If they made it
past that, well...

well, they're in for a
very long, torturous ordeal

where their lungs
try to come up and...

and they can't get any air.

Look at you.

You know, I watched
old Ronny Oberman

struggle for 45 minutes.

So my question to
you, miss, is how long

do you think you're gonna last?

It's a cop.

- We're screwed.
- No.

I don't think so.

She could probably
escape if she wanted to.

She's here for
the same reason we

are... she wants the damn money.

Help me get her down.

Come on!

Hurry up.

Yeah, the Petersons called
saying they heard something

like gunshots a little bit ago.

Yeah, I heard that, too.

What do you think it was?

Probably just
some kids shooting

cans in the wash or something.


Well, thanks for checking in.

How's Claire doing?

I think I'd like to talk to her.

Hey, honey, have
you seen my razor?

Oh, hey, officer.

Holy shit.



It's me, Tommy...

Tommy Tillman.

You used to play Little
League with my brother.

How's it going?


Man, he had one hell of a
curveball for a 10-year-old.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember you used to cry
every time he struck you out.


What are you, uh, what
are you doing back here?

I thought you moved away.


Claire is my grandmother.

She's never
mentioned you before.


That sounds about right.

Well, Tommy, we're
getting ready to head out.

Um, is there anything
else we can help you with?

I mean, I really
should talk to Claire.

Is there somebody
else in the house?

- No... I don't...
- No.



Shoot her.

What the hell are you doing?

Shoot her!

It's some kid.

I'll take care of that.

No, wait.

We only have a few hours...

tops... before that cop's
buddies come poking around here.

It'll be half that time
if that kid goes missing.

You ever point a gun at
me again, you better use it.

Oh, shit.


So what's up with the kid?

I owe him $9.00.

I dare you to do that again.


You know what?

I think I just figured it out.

If we get the kid, she'll
do whatever we want.

I'm going to go look out front.

If you see him, you grab him.

Go get him.

Just get the hell
out of here, kid.


I don't work for free, you know!


Glad I caught you.

It's $9, right?

Um, let me see.

I got... perfect.

Can you break a $10?



You all right?

He's all right.

I'm cracking open that safe,
and you take care of that bitch

once and for all.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Pick up the pace.

Yeah, yeah.

Who is this?

Is that any
way to treat an old friend?


Hey, it's been years.

How are you?

Can't complain.

How about you?

Still babysitting
dumb and dumber?


Even morons can be
useful at times.

What about me?

Was I one of your
youthful morons?

Absolutely not.

Are you OK?

I'm fine.

Alex, I know you.

Where are you?

I can have a team there ASAP.


I thought I could
leave it all behind.

But no matter where I
go, it always finds me.

Where are you?

You're using a
satellite phone, right?

Send me your coordinates.

It's been really nice
to catch up with you.

I'll talk to you soon.




No, no.

No, I got you now.


Even though it seems
a little too easy

for it all to end this way.

So why don't you drop the
gun, and we can even the scales?

I would.

I really would, except I
am sick and tired of you!

It's over!

Are you crying?

You're crying?

Oh, oh.




Like I said, crazy knows crazy!



Look at that.





You're scared that
gun's gonna jam again.

I'm gonna carve up this
pretty little face of yours.


No, you're not gonna
pull that trigger.

'Cause you're no killer.

You don't have the ba...

Oh, come on, man.

I don't like the sound of that.

It sounds to me
like Rudy's down there

taking care of some business.


One more, and we got her.

Let's just get out of here.

Things are getting
out of control.

OK, you know what?

You need to calm down.

Now, your little girlfriend
became more of a problem

than we anticipated, so
if you'd shut the hell up,

let me do my job,
then guess what?

We'll get out of here.

Well, that doesn't look right.

Hey, get your ass in here.

I got her open.

Thank god.

So how much do you
think is in there?

Well, I'm not really
too good at math,

but I would venture
to say nothing.

I should take your nuts and
shove 'em down your throat

right now!

No, I saw it!

I saw it!

I know it's in there!


Something's not right
about this, Seth.

Something's not right.

Why would she disable our cars?

So that we're trapped?

Why would she do that?

And there's Rudy.

better find the money.

You know, in the beginning,
you were an added complication.

Then you became a nuisance.

And I thought you
were kind of hot.

But now, you're
just going to die.

Come here.


I'm actually impressed.

Oh, Seth, you know
I really enjoyed

the little how-to speech
you gave earlier on hanging.

No, no.

No, no, no.

I actually knew about the
whole suffocation thing.

You just seemed
so eager to share.

I didn't want to
interrupt your moment.

I've witnessed a hanging, too.

When I was embedded
in an Al-Qaeda cell

in the Philippines, I stood
by and watched as they strung

up an entire missionary group...

men, women, children.

I watched as they
all helplessly died.

It was really nice
meeting you, Seth.

Hey, Grandma.

I'm sure by now you
heard all the ruckus.

You are a heavy sleeper.

She died yesterday.

What... did you really think
I would leave her alone

just to go on a date with you?

But... but, why?

Why would you do that?

Why would you leave her?

You're her caretaker.

It's caregiver.

And besides, the coroner
couldn't come until Monday.

Should I have put
her in the freezer?

But I...

I talked to her.


Is everything OK?

I'm fine.

I just want some privacy.



It wasn't that funny.

It's mine.

It's all mine.

The old bat never
had a will, and I'm

her only living relative.

So wherever the money is, this
house, everything... it's mine.

See, Claire was scared
of that, so she adopted me.


How can you even adopt an adult?

You know, I thought
the same thing, too.

Apparently you can, which
would make me the next of kin.

Now, Danny, you can try to
fight this and hire lawyers,

but with your lack of resources
and overall sketchy past,

it would be a lost
cause on your part.

Oh, Danny, Danny,
Danny, I'm starting

to feel really sorry for you.

Tell you what... you can go.


That's right.
You can go.

You can just get up and leave.

I'm not going to snap
your neck or anything.

I even put the battery
back in the car for you.

And one last thing
before you go...

you see, I haven't
quite figured out what

I'm going to spend it on yet.

I don't know.

I'll probably just
donate it to some animal

rescue or something.

Are you a cat or a dog person?

God damn it.

You fight worse than you screw.







How many of those damn things
she have lying around here?


You just can't
get enough, can you?

I'm actually going to miss
all of this when it's over.

This is the most fun
I've had in years.



Not my best
forgery, but it's

the best I can do in a pinch.


What's your emergency?

Oh, my god!

Please help me!

They've broken into the house.

They're trying to kill me.

Please! Oh, my god.

They can hear me.

Well, that's interesting.

All right, everyone.

Last round of action.


I raise ya' 10.


Call your 10,000
and raise you 10,000.


All right.

I'll call.

I'm out.

Full house.

Oh, man.



I'm not sure, but I think
four queens beat a full house.

This is some bullshit.

Oh, come on.

Lennox, nobody
likes a sore loser.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,
that is it for me tonight.

Oh, you guys know which
way it is to the pisser?

I'll find it.

Wait a minute.

Well, what do you know?

Son of a bitch.

Can I help you?

I'm not holding anything.

Now I am.

I still have all the
money... well, most of it.

But I could give
it all back to you.

Yes, I know you will.

Cheatin' little cocksucker.


What are you doing?

If they kill you, then
I don't get my money.


Subtitles by explosiveskull