Instant Love (2019) - full transcript

Come on, take off your pyjamas.

Okay, but I'll turn off the air-con.

You're like an old granny!

Have you spoken to them?

To who?

Marcos and his girlfriend.

Oh... yes...

Eh, no, not interested.

Did you explain it to them properly?

It's not so difficult to understand.

What did they say?



I doubt they'll meet us alone again.

So now what do we do?

We could always ask the neighbours.

Can you imagine?

Stop it, I'm going soft.

What if I ask Mia to introduce us
to some of her friends?

She's really into the scene.

What, strangers? The first time?

Seriously?

I don't know.

If I don't ask Mia...

Wasn't another couple the idea?

Don't you fancy it with Mia?

Yeah, maybe...



She has lots of experience
in these things...

So, we have a threesome then?

I don't think any of my friends is...

Think of...
someone from Uni...

Or your home town.

My home town?
Like who?

I don't know...
What about Antonio?

Antonio?
I don't think he... No.

I bet he will.
He's done it before, for sure.

- What do you know?
- I don't...

I can just imagine it.

Well, I'll call him and see...

Do that. Call him.

That was fucking awesome.

Yeah, fucking awesome.

INSTANT LOVE

Now to get X, do you multiply or divide?

- Hello?
- What are you up to, man?

Not much, just working...

Just carry on with that shit
and I'll be right back.

How's everything in London?

Just fine, having a beer.

Listen, I called to talk about something...

Yes, yes, of course I'm in.

Are you sure?
If you don't want to...

No, I do fancy it.

Oh.
So now you want to be modern too?

I don't know.
To try out new things and all that.

But everything's fine
between Blanca and you, right?

- Yes, yes...
- Better than ever.

Blanca, this kind of thing doesn't help
solve relationship problems.

- Better having a kid for that.
- Oh, shut up.

And Blanca wants to with me?

Antonio?
He's really hot...

But you'll be with Pablo, right?

Low branch!

Let's see if I get this straight.

Well, actually...

I don' know.
I'll have to ask Blanca.

And you and me, do we also?

You've always turned me on.

You know what I'm like when I'm drunk.

Just don't pull
a Brokeback Mountain on me, eh?

I'm not the one who goes birdwatching
in the mountains with his "mates"...

So where do we meet?
In a swingers bar or something like that?

Don't say "swingers", Blanca,
it's so nineties.

What's the story?
Is it a polyamory or something?

It's got nothing to do with love.
This is...

Excuse me, can I get another one...
please?

Oh, here it is.

Let's go then.
They're waiting for us.

What, you're going in a nightdress?

What?
It's just a dress isn't it?

I just ironed it!
Does it look really bad?

Well, I mean...

Shit, not again.
I only switched on the iron.

And the 27 lamps we have.

That's what happens if you live
in a windowless basement.

No, no glass please.

You're meant to drink it from a glass.

Well... I don't.

Don't worry, he's just being nice.

Wait till he hears
I don't want one either...

Are you for real?
Must you do that right now?

Would you prefer the place burned down
after that amateur job you did?

At least I did something.

That's what I'm doing now.

Look, just leave it for now.

I'll call an electrician.

Come on, let's go.

Blanca...

I don't care if it's creased.

It's not like I'm going
to have it on for long...

It's not creased...

it's stained.

Oh for Christ's sakes, Pablo!

- What?! It's my fault, is it?
- You could have wiped the table.

Oh nice!
I make supper, and have to clean up too?

Great!

Look, we're not having it out today.

"We said 10 o'clock, right?".

"Is that Antonio?"

What's Lucas doing in the bar
where we're meeting Antonio?

Antonio blew me out at the last minute.

So I decided to call Lucas.

Why didn't you tell me?

I forgot.
Sorry.

Pablo, I'm not an idiot.
What are you up to?

Oh, come on, Blanca, don't get mad.

The main thing is we're doing it.
It doesn't matter with who.

- Plus, Lucas is more handsome.
- Pablo, this is no way to go about it.

How am I meant to know
if it's the first time?

We were meant to decide together.

Look, it's not so easy
to find a friend willing to...

What? Do it with me?

This is just incredible.

I don't think it's such a big deal.

You can't see the forest for the trees.

- Don't start with your metaphors.
- But it's true.

You're being blinded by the who
when the most important thing is the what.

Man, I can't take you.

So then, are we going or not?

Excuse me...
Are you Antonio?

No, sorry.

Oh, sorry.

I'm Lucas,
if Antonio doesn't come in the end.

Mia, Blanca's friend?

Yes, do you know her?

Of course, Pablo called me to...

Blanca said a guy called Antonio
was coming.

I bet it's a change for the better.

Another beer?

What, think I wouldn't care
when we got there?

- Yes.
- Yes?

- Are you dumb or just pretending?
- Antonio has really gone downhill.

He's going bald.

Why all the fuss about Antonio?
I'm starting to think you like him.

Of course I do.
I was going to sleep with him.

I mean really like him.

Like you could fall in love with him...

I'm not annoyed Antonio isn't coming.

I'm annoyed you've asked Lucas
without telling me.

What's your problem with Lucas?!

Me?
No problem.

What about you?

Maybe you're the one into him,
as you think he's so handsome...

Blanca, it's not my fault
Antonio doesn't want to sleep with you!

Give me the phone.

- What for?
- Just give it to me.

I've no idea where it is.

How strange.
Seeing how tidy you are.

I don't know.

Oh, it was here.

No wonder I couldn't find it.

I called him on the house line.

Seriously?

Am I going to have to call him
myself?

- Okay, I didn't call him.
- What are you like!

- I was jealous.
- Jealous? Of Antonio?

Yes, you tell me you like him,
you want to go to bed with him!

- Naturally it pisses me off.
- But not if it's Lucas?

No, Lucas is different.

I trust Lucas. You're never
going to fall in love with him.

- How come?
- I don't know.

You don't talk together much
when he's around.

One picks up on these things.
You don't connect.

We don't connect...
and you go and call him?

You're trying to ruin our first swap!

Me?!

Don't you get sick telling
the same story every day?

At least in my case it's true.

- You think that adverts lie?
- Sure.

Are you really telling me
Coca-Cola Zero tastes the same?

They don't say it tastes the same,
just you can't tell the difference.

- Isn't that lying?
- No.

You fool yourself because you want
to stay slim without giving up anything.

You're good, eh?

I know.

- Where do you work?
- At an agency in London.

Oh, that explains the suitcase.

I was worried. I wondered if you had
a sadomasochist kit in there, or worse.

Worse? Like what?

Candles, incense, rose petals...

Are you in town long?

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Just one night then?

I've got a big meeting on Monday.

So, you came especially for this?

Well... Yeah...
Pablo asked me as a favour.

Oh, what a good friend you are.

I'm doing it for Blanca too.

Is that so?
Right, sure.

Do you do this a lot?
In London it must be really common.

Yes, sometimes...
What about you?

I'm pretty open to this kind of thing.

Like what?

Oh... and I've done a porn movie too.

Fucking hell!

No!
Just kidding!

- What, exactly?
- You don't want to know.

So, what, you go to swingers bars and...?

This is your first time, isn't it?

Is it that obvious?

Nobody says "swingers"
except Blanca and you.

Now people swap partners
via social media, like WYYLDE.

By the way...

What the hell is a pink eye?

You said the idea turned you on too.

It does.
When I imagine it.

But imagining is one thing...

So you don't want
to fulfill your fantasies?

A fantasy is a fantasy.

That's the idea, you fantasise.

You don't want to have sex
with another woman with my permission?

Is that a trick question?

I'm giving you the chance to fulfill
a fantasy, and you don't want to?

Yes!

But another guy fucking you
freaks me out.

Fuck you.

- Excuse me...?
- You don't like being fucked, do you?

Well, nor do I.
I like fucking, not being fucked.

What are we talking about here?

I'm sick of guys fucking
and girls being fucked.

We all fuck each other around here.

- What did I say?
- "Another guy fucking you"...

Instead of "you fucking another guy".

What's the difference?

You fucking, or being fucked,
both freak me out.

Look, it doesn't matter.

The idea was to do something different,
just for a change, have a good time.

Can't you see the problems this is causing
and we haven't even done anything yet?

Because you're shit scared.

All right.

You're right.

We're going, come on.

What are you doing?

Setting up some shots.

Now what's the matter?

- I'm not going.
- Because of Lucas?

Not because of Lucas.
We can't go like this.

- Like what?
- With this bad vibe.

More reason to get into the mood.

From university.

- Did you study Law?
- What, don't I look the type?

To be honest, no.

Thanks.

I dropped out,
It wasn't my thing.

Our parents have been friends
since we were kids.

Isn't that nice?

So you must be used to sharing.

Yes, well...

- What, am I boring you?
- No!

They're taking their time.

Blanca seemed really keen.

- Oh, did she?
- Yes, it was her idea.

Pablo didn't sound too convinced.

I understand.
I wouldn't do it either if I was him.

Why not?

Jealousy.

There was me thinking you were
a modern guy...

If I'm single,
I'm as modern as you like.

But if I'm in a relationship,
I'm in a relationship.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Go ahead.

Have you never wanted to go to bed
with somebody while in a relationship?

Yes, just like everybody has, I guess?

What did you do about it?

I controlled myself.

Was it difficult?

Why not make an effort
to control your jealousy

instead of denying what your body wants?

What's idealistic is thinking
we're naturally faithful.

Okay.

Let's imagine I've got a girlfriend,

we sleep around,
and no one gets jealous.

What happens if one of us falls in love?

That can happen without sex.

You can fall in love in the
supermarket, at work, or

having a beer...

The problems love brings
will always be there,

Am I overbearing?

The bill, please.

Sorry, sometimes I get a bit intense.

You've convinced me.
If it means more sex...

Oh, no, sorry.
We wanted another round.

If that's possible.

You're going to spit in our beer, right?

He never fucks.

See how you always get your way?

Don't twist things.

We're doing what you wanted,
like we always do.

- That's not true.
- What do you mean?

Every time I propose something different,
you boycott it.

What are you saying!

What about us trying anal?

- It's not the same thing.
- It's exactly the same as always.

I propose something
new, you find

some excuse and
we end up not doing it.

Where's the need?

You must be the only guy in the world
who doesn't want to try anal.

The hole I use works fine,
why try another one?

- Just to try, you might like it more.
- And I might not!

That's your problem!

If you had 25 holes,
you'd want another one.

- I'm curious, so what?
- Unsatisfied I'd say.

What is that supposed to mean?

- Nothing, forget it.
- No, come on, tell me.

- It doesn't matter.
- I want to know.

- No!
- Tell me.

I keep friends and sex separate.

That's all I need.

What about love?

I have my mum and my dog,
who love me loads.

It's not the same thing.

It's better.
They never betray you.

You're right.
Sex for sex is brilliant, but...

Sorry,
sex when you're in love is the best.

You're not confusing the endorphin hit
of a good shag with love?

I know the difference.

Really?

Well...

It's difficult to put into words.

May I?

Shouldn't we be wearing protection?

What do you feel?

Your hand.

Smooth.

Do you like it?

What if I said I can see you now?

I can see you too.

I mean, really see you.

I can see you're authentic,
you don't care what people think.

I can see you live on the edge,
you're not afraid of anything.

You don't trust people readily, do you?

You can see all that in my eyes?

but you don't care,
you haven't had it fixed.

You like risk.
You have an expensive phone with no case.

You stopped looking at the door a while ago

because you no longer think
Blanca and Pablo are coming.

You see the difference is
that when you just make out...

it touches you on the outside...
and it's great...

But when you make love...

it's on the inside...

and nothing beats it.

What do you feel now?

The bill, please?

Too intense?

He's seen me!

Sorry, no, I...

We were just fooling around.
Sorry.

You guys really crack me up.

I'm taking a crap.

Come on Pablo.

Try to see the forest...

Don't bury your head in the sand.

Don't you want to talk it over?

Everything has already been said.

Well, I am.

Seriously?

You'd settle for anything.

Like you, for example...

Exactly!

I don't know if you really love me
or we're together because it's easiest.

I assure you "easy" is not the word.

Then do something, for God's sake!

It's always easier for you to do nothing.

You've been on the dole for three years.

Is it my fault if there are no grants?

There aren't many archaeologist jobs
on the internet.

Try getting a public sector job.

What, become a teacher?

You already work as a teacher!

It's not the same,
the private classes are just temporary.

You're about to turn 45!

It's time you realized
you're not fucking Indiana Jones!

I know that, Blanca.

At least I didn't sell out.

Excuse me?

You've become a top lawyer,
you really have.

You'll do anything to win.

You're the one who insisted on living
in this neighbourhood.

What? It was you who wanted

to live by the old town wall.

"It's like waking up every morning
in Pompeii".

Pompeii!

It's got nothing to do with Pompeii!

It's an 11th century Arab wall.

What do I care!
You loved the wall.

No, I'm not having that!

I didn't want to buy
this shitty bunker-loft with no windows.

where the only place with any intimacy
is the toilet!

If you had a real job,
we could have got something better.

With you, nothing is ever enough.

Yes, I've been needing
something else for a while.

What are we talking about exactly?

I want out.

The flat?

Come on, tell me about
the last time you fell in love.

Come on, what happened?

- Nothing, there was a partner in the way.
- Whose?

Both of ours.

- I knew it.
- What?

I knew you'd been unfaithful.
Everybody has.

You have to tell me who hurt you so much.

If you tell me the story
of that girl first.

Well...

We got it on in a country house.

My girlfriend and I went there
with some friends.

Was your girlfriend there?

And her boyfriend too.

Oh!
Sure you haven't swapped partners before?

No, they never found out.

I was alone in the forest...

birding.

"Birding"?
I don't know that one.

It's nothing sexual.
Birdwatching.

I go to places
with interesting or rare bird species

and identify them and take photos.

Then you tell your friends...
Birding.

You're kidding me, right?

What?
There's nothing strange about it.

What?

So, you wear a hat,
a hunting jacket and all the gear?

Yes, right, I go dressed for a safari.

It's a hobby just like any other.

Anyway, I was on my way back
to the country house...

She was crying,
she had argued with her boyfriend.

And you "comforted" her.

It was like...

I don't even know how it happened.

We ended up rolling on the ground
together and...

Don't be shy.
Carry on.

Let's just say it was wild.

But you'd always liked her?

I never thought...

What?

That I was going to be so hung up on her.

I felt with her what I hadn't felt
in years with my girlfriend.

So why are you not together?

It's complicated.

Now it's your turn.

No way...

Look...

Sorry, it's work.

I've got this situation
with a really big project.

- No worries.
- Sorry.

Come on, come out of there.

Pablo...

You can't lock yourself away every time
you hear something you dislike.

What, have you got more to tell?

I just want to explain myself.

I got the message loud and clear,
thanks.

You want to end it like this?
Without talking it over?

I don't want to end anything.

Okay, so, come out then.

Pablo?

You're like a big kid.
Just as predictable...

Predictable, me?

You don't know me.

- Oh, I don't?
- If you only knew...

- What?
- I cheated on you.

Right here, in this flat.

On that table over there.

- With a student of yours?
- Christ, no!

With her mother.

See why I wanted us to try swinging?

I get the same way.

I feel attracted to other people too.

I wanted us to do it together,
totally up front.

I knew this would end up happening.

I didn't want to deceive you.

That's it, Paco, just like that!

Just like that!

Like that, Paco, just there!

Paco, like that, Paco, just there!

Up my ass, Paco, like that!

Like that!

Like that!

In bed or on the sofa?

- In bed.
- On the sofa.

In the kitchen or the bathroom?

Cosmopolitan wouldn't let us fuck.

Okay.

The seaside or the mountains?

- The mountains.
- The seaside.

The mountains?

I thought you liked doing it in the woods.

I had you rolling around in the mud
in Formentera.

You think you have me all worked out.
Maybe I'll surprise you.

Maybe I'll be the one who surprises you.

Let's hope so.

No way.
I'll go.

No need to.
I'm the one who said we should end it.

What, and leave me with the mortgage?

No, no, I'll go.

- Hey!
- Hey what?

- That belongs to both of us.
- But I use it for work.

And I use it for looking for work,
which is exactly the same.

Didn't you say jobs like yours
weren't on the internet?

Blanca...

Do we really have to do this now?

I was going to take a change of clothes
and then we'll see later.

Pablo...

Perfect, just perfect!

And I'm the one who doesn't trust people?

You caught me red-handed.

It's a present from my mum.

No, no, no!

- Why not?
- That was a present from my mum.

A present to me.

The card was clear: "To Blanca".

One of your mother's little hints.

Keep my mum out of this.

No need.
She always gets involved anyway.

You know something?

Do what the hell you want!

What?!

What do you mean, what?
We've been waiting for over an hour.

We're not coming.

Why not?

I don't feel well,
sorry for not telling you before.

Don't worry, that's fine.

I've got a headache,
I've taken a painkiller.

Sorry, I've got to go.
I'll call you later this week.

She just hung up on me!

- Shit! Seriously?
- Not again!

What is it this time?

The lights have gone out
in the whole building.

Blanca, what is it?!

Blanca!

Shit, get off me!

That fucking thermo-mix!

What's all this racket!

How the fuck are we meant to sleep!

Sleep, he says.

Stop fucking around!
You’re too old for it, man!

So... your kitchen or mine?

- I ordered another round.
- Oh. I thought you were paying.

Do you want us to go?

Well... what about you?

What if they come and we're not here?

Blanca and Pablo aren't coming.

How come?

They chickened out.

Shit!

Sorry to disappoint you.

It's not that...

They make me come all the way
from London and...

It wasn't worth it, right?

No... I mean yes, of course.
But...

But what?

I mean...

Hey, these are on the house.

You've bust my leg.

Yes, I started smoking again.

Did you ever stop?

That fucking Thermomix...

We only ever used it once.

The working day is much better.

Over there, they work fewer
but more productive hours.

I've got a job
with a lot of responsibility.

People normally finish work at 4.00 pm.

What's the point of having
free evenings if it's always raining?

There is plenty to do,
galleries, museums...

But you know
what I like best about London?

- Am I boring you?
- No.

That was really great... before I mean.

Yes,
but it would have been better with four.

Or six, no?

We could mention it to the barman.

We don't have to finish these drinks.
We can go when you like.

I'm only joking.

Just my English sense of humour.

We didn't ask for the bill this time.

I know, but we're closing.

Let me get it.

There's no need.

Really, I don't mind.

You really are proud, aren't you?

- And you think you're great.
- Me?

Look, I got the message.

You earn enough money
to fly over for a quickie.

Whoring in London
would be cheaper though, wouldn't it?

"Today we're going to learn
how to repair a fuse box,

quickly and simply.

As you all know,
the fuse box is made up of...

the master switch, fuses
and a trip switch.

The first thing
is to turn off the master switch.

Otherwise you might get fried.

These days,
a fuse box normally comes

I liked the ones they did before more.

Now they make them so they don't last.

Planned obsolescence, it's called."

If you electrocute yourself
I'm not touching you.

Maybe that way I'll turn you on.

"What isn't right are foreign companies

charging a fortune
for our own electricity.

What are we?
A country of idiots?"

Come on hold this.

If I electrocute myself,
you can keep the Thermomix.

Thanks, that's generous of you.

"I recall when I lived in Tucuman...

Tucuman! What a place!
We lived like..."

What a drag this guy is...

Don't get impatient,
or we won't learn anything.

How can you be so patient?

I don't know.
If the guy has gone to all the trouble...

Damn this WIFI.

- What?
- Nothing.

What?

You always look on the good side
of people.

- Do you think so?
- Compared to me at least.

I spend all day finding faults.

You can be a little bitchy.

But you're good at heart.

About what?

For giving you hell
about not having a job.

I know you only do it for my own good.

You think I'm capable of much more.

You are.
You could do so many things...

But all of them are far away from here.

What?

There are no grants here, Blanca.

They all involve going abroad.

What do you mean,
turned down a grant?

- In Egypt.
- Egypt?

- Pablo!
- What would I do in Egypt on my own?

I'd rather be here with you.

Why didn't you tell me?
We could have talked it over.

What, and gone there together?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.
I never told you.

They gave it to Rafa in the end.

No way!
You must be joking.

After all you've done for them!

Those bastards!

You're miles better than Rafa!

They don't deserve you,
they really don't!

Why do you put up with me?

Pablo, why?

Cause you pay the mortgage.

I don't know, Blanca.

Because I love you.

I truly love you.

I know now there are lots of trees...
and it's difficult to see the forest.

I mean...

stop us seeing what's really important.

The forest.
I mean...

Shit!

You're my forest fire.

"It's obvious they tricked him.

What need does Messi have to steal?

If the guy wants to
he could buy up half of Spain."

What a pain in the ass.

Do you have change?

You keep it.

Okay, great, that way I can save up
to get my tooth fixed.

It's because I can't afford the dentist.

Excuse me, do you have change?

and the hotel room you saved yourselves,
you could leave a tip, right?

Mia!

- Hello?
- What an asshole that Lucas is.

I'm feeling much better, thanks.

- It was going great, then suddenly...
- What happened?

He wanted to wait for you and do the swap.

That's why we arranged to meet, isn't it?

I know but...
we had a quickie in the bathroom.

Sorry, what did you just say?

We had sex in the bathroom,
it was incredible.

Oh, I did hear right.

After that, I thought we'd spend
the night together, just the two of us...

- What's that got to do with it?
- Tell him what you want.

And don't freak out as usual.

Maybe he feels the same way.

Blanca, it's not like I've fallen in love.

It wouldn't be a big deal if you had.
Stop being so proud.

Be honest, it's best in the end...

You know what?

You're right.
I'm going to tell him.

Good for you.
Just tell him.

You have to be straight up.

Mia?
Mia!

I've got something to tell you too.

I lied to you before.

I never cheated on you.

Well, I cheated on you.

Sorry about what happened before.

Lucas, I like you a lot.

And it really pisses me off
you didn't want to come with me.

I did want to.

Once you knew
they weren't coming.

- No, that's not right.
- No?

- No.
- So why did you order more drinks?

Shit.

It's complicated.

You're not going to understand.

I've got all night.

Who?
If you don't mind me asking...

- What difference does it make?
- A big difference.

You're only going to end up
hurting yourself.

Antonio!

I bet it was Antonio, right?
Fucking Antonio!

It isn't Antonio,
I haven't seen him in years.

So it wasn't long ago then?

Not exactly.

It was last summer, for God's sake.

Last summer, last summer...

You spent the whole time
working on your thesis.

All we did was go to that country house
in Bilbao.

What, in that country house?!

It was just you, me, Anna and...

Fucking hell!

Blanca?!

Is the girl Blanca?

Yes.

What do you think you're playing at?
Does Pablo know?

Nooo...
Of course not.

- Fucking birding my ass!
- Pablo...

You were going to fuck him again tonight!

You called him, not me.
I wanted to fuck Antonio!

You're in love with Blanca!

What about Blanca?
Is she...?

I don't know, but...

But it was too intense
not to mean something.

It meant nothing at all!
It was just sex!

Why did you do it?

We'd had an argument about...

We'd had a big argument.
Don't you remember?

If you're going screw someone
every time we fall out...

And you haven't been
in a relationship since?

No.

Because of Blanca?

Maybe I've idealized her a bit.

But I just can't stop thinking about her.

See?
These things don't happen when you swing.

Come on, Pablo, come out of there.

What, again?

This time, it's for real.

He fucked you up the ass.

What?

- He fucked you up the ass, right?
- What are you talking about?

It's no coincidence.

It was last summer you started
going on about anal.

- He fucked you up the ass.
- No.

- He did.
- He didn't!

Come on now, Blanca!

With Blanca?
What’s she got?

Well you've got to do something.

Yes, like that speech you just gave me.

Look, don't get carried away.

It's not like I've fallen in love with you.

You're handsome and a good lay,
but that's all.

Do you dare do something crazy?

- Pablo...
- I've made up my mind. Don't even try.

And it's me who's finishing it, not you.

- Pablo?
- What?

The photo...

Hello?

- It's them.
- Mia and Lucas?

Tell them I'm not feeling well.

- What are you doing?
- Opening the door for your boyfriend.

- Don't you dare cause a scene.
- Me?

I'll tell them to go,
that I've caught a virus.

Blanca, they're our friends.
We called them.

Exactly!
They're not to blame.

Some are more to blame than others...

Right?

Pablo, please...
behave yourself.

- Hi there! May we?
- Hi!

Have you seen the staircase?
It's full of stuff.

Really?
Must be the neighbours.

- The neighbours...
- They're really intense.

If Muhammad won't come to the mountain...

Hi, Lucas, I was really
looking forward to seeing you.

- We brought this.
- Thanks very much.

From the convenience store.

- Come in, come in.
- Come in.

Sorry about the mess...
We were sorting our wardrobes.

- No worries. How are you feeling?
- Pretty bad, to be honest.

So, how is London?
Plenty of birding?

Some drinks?

- Pablo, can you give me a hand?
- Come on then.

- What are you up to?
- Me? Nothing?

You just want revenge.

What kind of person do you think I am?

Pablo, can I help?

Great, slice the lemon.

What?

- Mia and you.
- Oh, yes, yes...

What a bastard you are, eh?

You know me.

Why the hell did you come?

I told you I had a headache.

Oh, come on!

All you needed was a nudge
in the right direction.

- There you are.
- Thanks.

Oh!
We need to toast.

Oh, let me propose one.

To good friends!

Exactly.
To good friends!

- Jesus.
- It's strong...

Come on, don't be shy.
Sit here with us.

Yes, sit here with us.

So then, here we all are then.

Oh, you're in good shape, aren't you?

Go to the gym do you?

Like hell I do.

Pablo, you've got something there.

Do I?

I'll take care of it.

- Nice place you've got here.
- Yes, it's okay.

I'm going to put on some music.

Sure.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

It was nothing.

Come with me.

I wanted to tell you something.

- What?
- I...

I've been thinking about this for ages.

I mean...

I've thought about it a lot...

For you maybe
it was just something casual, but...

Well...
I think...

- Is something wrong?
- No.

- No?
- No.

What the hell was that?

- Pablo?
- I didn't do anything.

You just stuck your finger up my ass,
asshole.

You love anal,
doesn't he, Blanca?

Does he know?

You really are a total bastard.

I'm sorry, Pablo.

I fucked up, I'm sorry!

You really have a pair coming here.

So why the hell did you call me?

I just found out, you backstabber!

You should have called Antonio.

No, not Antonio or Lucas,
or fucking anybody else!

What I should have done is say no,
right from the start.

- Pablo, please.
- I've had enough of this nonsense.

Stupid modern pricks!

I told you, didn't I?

Things are just fucking great!

So fucking great, we just split up!

That's why we didn't go to the bar!

How was I supposed to know?
Why the hell didn't you tell me?

I tried, you wouldn't listen.

Anyway,
I thought you'd fallen for Lucas?

Why the hell did you guys come?

Because Lucas is in love with you.

Look, let's all calm down...

Are you in love with Blanca?

What a son of a bitch!

You set up all this to steal my girlfriend!

It was you who called me.

How long have you been together?
You've got me all confused.

You had it all planned from the start,
didn't you?

Pablo, don't get like that...

Tell him, he's freaking out.

You haven't answered his question.

Thanks for your help.

Yes.

Come on!
That's all we needed.

No, carry on.
Make yourselves at home.

- Look, sorry, we're just going.
- No, no!

I'll get my things and leave you to it.

I'm being serious.
Don't hold back.

I'm leaving.

And if you want to join in, fine by me.

I'm really modern too.

Your t-shirt.

Pablo...

Pablo, wait a minute, please.

Now what?

Your kitchen or mine?

Technically, we're in one.

I'm sorry about
everything that's happened.

I thought you cared about
our relationship.

I did all of this for us.

So I should be grateful
you screwed Lucas.

All right, not that.

I regret it, I really do.

Forgive me.

It was wrong...

but it's what made me
think of a partner swap.

Another great idea.

Pablo...

Our sex life is boring.

Passion fades, Blanca.

It happens to all couples, it's normal.

That's not true.

Seeing each other getting it on made us
horny like we haven't been in ages.

It wasn't much use in the end.
Look at us.

Because Lucas was there.
Otherwise, it could have worked.

I'm not sure.

Why can't we have it all?

Or at least try to.

I want to be with you,
but not renounce my sex life.

I want us to do this together,
without any lies.

Because I know that otherwise,

sooner or later,
one of us will be unfaithful

and this relationship will go to hell.

Speak for yourself.

I had the chance with my student's mother,
but I held back.

But you wanted to?

Yes, but I didn't do it.

Not this time, but one day you will.

And if you don't,
then you'll become bitter.

Why do we have to hold back
if we both feel the same desire

and can find something
that works for us?

Okay then.

Okay what?

If you need me to sleep with other women,
I'll do it.

Are you sure?

Neither am I.

SWAP 1

FIRST BIRDING

WYYLDE COUPLE
SWAP 8

FIRST FINGER UP THE ASS

SWAP 18

FUCKING ANTONIO

THE NEIGHBOURS

Yes, good photos...

- And how is the baby?
- Just great.

Sleeping is overrated.

- How are you guys doing?
- Really good.

- Oh, did you?
- And moved into a new one.

With windows.

But we're thinking about
going to Egypt for a spell.

- I'm jealous!
- Oh, that's great.

Lucas, I never did tell you, but...

I'm sorry about that finger.

Oh, don't worry.
I liked it.

I wasn’t sure to begin with,

but then you have
amazing orgasms.

I was joking.

Me too.

Oh, by the way...
Are you two still into couple swapping?

Why do you ask?

No, no, no!
No bloody way!

I mean no fucking way!

INSTANT LOVE