Insignificance (1985) - full transcript

Four 1950's cultural icons (Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Joe DiMaggio and Senator Joseph MacCarthy) who conceivably could have met and probably didn't, fictionally do in this modern fable of post-WWII America. Visually intriguing, the film has a fluid progression of flash-backs and flash-forwards centering on the fictional Einstein's current observations, childhood memories and apprehensions for the future.

[When Your Heart Runs Out of Time
by Will Jennings]

♪ I came by this morning ♪

♪ Your friend said you'd moved on ♪

♪ Gone without a warning ♪

♪ Only leaves a need in me ♪

♪ When your heart runs out of time ♪

♪ When you're up against the night ♪

♪ l can help you stand alone ♪

♪ ln the dying of the light ♪

♪ When your heart runs out of time ♪

♪ I wiIl never Iet you go ♪



♪ I can help you dream again ♪

♪ In a world you'd Iove to know ♪♪

AII right. l'll be right there.

TeIl 'em where to put it.

- What do you think?
- I'm ready.

I'd say that's okay. Take it to "B".

Give me some focus, would you?

I need some more light here.

Hold it there!

- You got it all wrong.
- Get out of here.

Let's have some more fizz here.
Come on. Come on.

Come on, guys. Get... Hold. That's it.

Don't tell me. You know what it's like.
What can l do?

Okay, that's great. That's perfect.



It's thick. All of them are...

A minute, 28. I know. What about...

...and there at the pIate, he steaIs home!

We got this. Try for the reverse.

She there yet?

- l can't see.
- Can't see nothin'?

- Just the stars.
- Screw the stars.

I Iike the stars.

You Iook at the stars, and you feeI Iike
tomorrow you can do anything.

Kiss that girl, walk on the grass.

Stars won't think the worse of you.

Stars won't even notice.
Know what l mean?

ls she there yet,
you phiIosophical fuckin' bastard?

- That's her.
- l can't see a fuckin' thing.

If I can't see nothin', how do I know
when to hit the fuckin' fan?

- You guys ready?
- Yep.

I was ready last time.
And the time before that!

Ready, ma'am? This is a take.

All right now. Stand back and
make way, please, gentlemen!

Just get it right this time.

I ain't in no hurry.

I hope you go blind.

- Go fan.
- Go.

Jesus!

Do it for me!

It's the breeze from the subway!
lsn't it delicious?

That's a kind of interesting point of view.

Okay! Cut!

What'd you see?

What'd you see? Did you see anything?

I saw the face of God.

You know that according
to the laws of probability,

you drink a gIass of water, you drink
a Iittle piece of NapoIeon's crap.

Maybe even Mussolini's.

But more like Napoleon,
'cause he's been dead longer.

This way. Miss Monroe for Life magazine!

Hey, watch out for my leg, buddy, will you?

Honey!

Hey, honey! Honey!

Hey!

Boy, what a night!

Oh, would you mind?

For two minutes, l wait 8 hours?

Anything for money.

Wherever it is you're taking me,

I don't wanna go.

Now, Attila the Hun, he's a dead cert, see?

'Cause he's been gone too Iong.

So don't you see? AII of us, we're aIl part
of that great fuckin' aIimentary canaI.

- Hmm.
- Did you know that?

Professor?

- Professor?
- Yes.

Professor?

Yes, yes.

- Professor?
- Yes.

Good evening, Professor.

It sure is a dog of a night.

Sorry to bother you so Iate.

But l thought that there was
something that had to be said

and it's gotta be said before the morning.

Yep, it sure is a dog of a night.
Tomorrow's gonna be a dog of a day.

Hey!

Is this the stuff you hump around
with you aII the time?

Must be a few years' work right there, huh?

I'm not an educated man myself, Professor,
but I sure would love to know what you know.

I guess l'm just a man
who likes to know things.

Hey, do you know
where there's a five-and-dime?

An aIl-night store or somethin'.

I need a few things.

WeII, I don't know, ma'am. I was toId
to take you straight to your des...

- Well, fuck them.
- ...destination.

- WelI, l was told no stopping.
- Please!

It's important.

Just for me, huh?

Okay.

For me.

You're not on trial here. You know that.

You know? You're not being
accused of anything.

You know? You are not the accused.

If you feel accused,
that makes me a very unhappy man.

Sit down. Sit down, wiIl ya?

Now, telI me. Are you feeling accused?

I feel persecuted.

Hmm. Are you now?

Or have l ever been?

Cheer up, wiII you, Professor?

That's not an accusation.
Do you understand? It's just an inquiry.

You want a drink?

But, off the record, would you telI me what...

What do you think your answer
to a question like that wouId be?

l mean, it seems to me,
it'd be simple as just a yes or a no.

But you'd be surprised how many citizens
find it hard to just even say those two words,

and they've turned these hearings
into one royal pain in the butt!

You know how many times
one guy cited the Fifth Amendment?

Guess.

You'Il never get it. 79 times.

He got awfuIly tired.

Look, aII I'm asking you is for
a simple answer to a simple question,

so that we can all get home
for the long weekend.

Professor, I haven't seen my sweet wife
in over a month.

The last time l bought tickets,
l had to cancel.

We had two extra sessions to try that
jumped-up nigger Robeson for contempt.

And I missed the damn pIane.

Professor, let me make this
perfectly clear, you know?

Now, military men and politicians,

they'lI wallow around in the mud,
and they come up smelling roses.

But not you. Nah, no. Not you.

You! You're in a speciaI category.
You know, a different type.

You know what? The movie star type.

The kind that mud sticks to.

You help us, and l'lI help you
come out nice and cIean.

Uh-huh. Nice and clean. Nice and cIean.

I bet I know what you want me to do
to come out nice and clean.

You want me to answer yes. lsn't that right?

- Right.
- Mmm.

- Yes. Yes would be just fine by us.
- Uh-huh.

And if you couple that with a denunciation
of any Communist ideals you once heId,

I mean, that wouId be a good pIus as weII.

And you could mention a coupIe of names.

Mm-hm. Is that alI?

WeIl...

A formal condemnation of the Soviet arms
initiative wouldn't do you any harm at aII.

Huh.

In confidence between us, Professor,
l'll telI you something.

These hearings are not gonna
go on much longer.

You could be our Iast great civilian fish.

And what a fish!

I mean, you know everything
there is to know about everything.

The cosmos, space, "pootons",
protons, "clutons".

I mean everything. The Jewish problem.

Mmm.

They call you the mommy
and the daddy of the H-bomb.

A true child of the universe.

WeIl, l have to telI you something
about aII this.

In my lifetime of experiences,

the Swiss authorities
caIled me a German fascist

disregarding that l'm Jewish.

But you delicateIy aIIuded to that
a moment ago.

And in Germany, by the German fascists,

because I was Jewish,
I was caIled a Zionist conspirator.

I come to democratic America,

some smalI-minded people calIed me
a German fascist and a Zionist conspirator.

And now I presume that you are suggesting
that I'm a Soviet Communist!

Well, Iisten...

Two weeks ago, two magazines,
at the same time variously called me

a warmonger and a conscientious objector
in the review of the same speech.

And you know what that speech was? To the
Mozart Appreciation Society of New EngIand.

And...

It's unbeIievable.

l'lI tell you, on or off the record...

You peopIe Iike things on the record.

I didn't choose America. I don't care.

Had I but known it.

I was escaping Dachau.

Funny, how you talk to a good Jew nowadays,

that subject always comes up, Dachau.

That's the same threat to democracy
we're asking you to help us fight now.

World War ll had very littIe
to do with Communism.

Had very littIe to do... Are you kidding?

The whole war was based on a Soviet pIot.

- A Soviet pIot?
- Yes.

15 miIlion Russians dead, a Soviet plot?

They're tricky.

Ask yourseIf this, Professor.

What is left of Europe
that is a threat to the Soviets?

Round one is theirs.

So, what do you say?

I say that you ought to go see a psychiatrist.

No, no, never mind that. They haven't learned
how to treat that degree of lunacy yet.

What l say is... l say good night.
I say we should say good night now.

lt wouId be a shame, reaIly...

if aII you stood for...

was to get muddied up over some
haggIing over constitutional legalities.

Don't make the mistake
of treating this Iike some...

freshman debate on civil liberties.

Some guys have tried that.

One guy tried it. He did great for that day.

ln fact, he got applauded
by the fucking stenographer.

WeIl, he ain't earned jack shit since!

And neither has the stenographer!

Now, how about a Iittle cooperation here?

I wiII explain it very clearly and simply.

l will never, ever, under any condition, testify.

You have been subpoenaed to testify.

We paid for your flight and the room.

Nonetheless, tomorrow l'm going to speak
to the conference for world peace.

It's true that your subpoena
coincides with that date,

but it won't prevent me
from speaking at the conference.

And, Senator...

if I had intended to go fishing tomorrow,

your subpoena wouIdn't prevent me
from catching fish,

or at least trying to catch fish.

Trying to catch fish.

WeII, you ignore a House subpoena,
my friend,

and that'll be about the last thing
in the worId you do.

And, oh, by the way, yes,
from what l understand,

you've refused to let anyone
make copies of your work.

Now, why is that?

I mean, you know, if something
were to happen, God forbid,

that would aII go astray.

Professor, see you tomorrow morning,
bright and early.

8 o'clock, I'II be here to pick you up.

l'm afraid you're gonna have to let the
peace conference sIug it out for themselves.

You know, there's nothing
to worry about anyway.

There ain't anybody gonna
go pressing any buttons.

We've aIl got too much invested.

Just think of the real estate.

Good night.

Hey, mister. How much are your baIloons?

- Three for a buck, lady.
- Oh! I'II take three.

- Hey, miss.
- Yeah?

We got a speciaI on the candy.
It's free to all the pretty girls today.

- Oh, wow! Thanks.
- Yeah.

FuriIlo, National League batting champion,

comes through with another hit,
a single through the middle.

CampanelIa scores.

The ball is picked up by catcher Berra.

Meyer's at third. Hodges sIides.
He's caIIed out!

Kress is through with a booming
double with two men on.

May I ask, ma'am, what sort of movie
this is you're making?

Who is it you're pIaying, ma'am?

I play this girI.

She's a what, not a who.

She's just a figment of this guy's imagination.

He imagines me hanging
around the pIace, you know?

I spend the entire movie
in the kitchen or in the bathtub

or having my skirt blown up...

around my fucking ears.

Hey, sweetheart. Get your ass over here.

I've been out there since before midnight.

18, fast.

Hey, look what she's got!

- l think it's a watch!
- Let me see it.

- There, hold it. Hold her hand.
- No!

I got it!

Let me see! Come on.

# You're a chicken #

- Yeah. Why don't you try coming up?
- Yeah! Yeah!

Na, na-na, na-na! You can't get it!

Have you got a watch?

Yeah, l got a watch. It's almost 2:30--

No. Don't teII me the time.

l don't wanna know.

Can I just borrow it?

Please?

You can have it back tomorrow.

Thanks.

Hey, stop there! Right over there!

Over there!

Who is it?

You wouldn't believe me.

- Hi!
- Hello.

Are you busy?

It's onIy I'm... I'm probabIy being pursued.

This is an awful liberty, l know, but...

I'm very honored to meet you.

Who is it that's pursuing you?

Just about everybody.

Hey! l thought you'd be asIeep.
It's almost 3:00.

- WouId you like me to go?
- No, no.

PIease, pIease, please.

I just had to come meet you
before you fIy home or I fIy west.

And I just haven't had a moment.

I've been shooting all week.

My movie, that is.

You don't recognize me.

Do you?

No!

That's just wonderfuI.

- l interrupted your work?
- No, it's just some caIcuIations.

What are you trying to calculate?

ActuaIIy, l'm attempting to unify the fields.

WilI it take long?

l hope within another four years.

Oh. Gee!

- You are an actress?
- Mm-hm.

- What's your name?
- Oh.

Oh. l've heard of her.

Is she good?

She tries hard.

Why is she here?

For a visit.

- Why?
- You're famous!

So are you.

I know. We have an awfuI lot in common.

HelIo.

What?

Who else?

No. Who else?

How much?

AII right.

Because of being famous,
everywhere I go

people fall all over themseIves
to be with me.

Like a troupe of clowns
chasing an oId automobiIe.

Because of being famous,

many things l do just turn
into a ridiculous comedy.

You're lucky.

Everything l do develops into a nightmare.

PeopIe keep throwing themseIves
in front of me,

and I just don't dare stop.

- Have l disturbed you?
- No, no.

- Shall l go?
- No, no.

It's Iate.

I just spent the last four hours of my life

having my skirt blown up around my ears.

They rigged up this fan
beneath the grating out on 53rd.

Whoosh! All night Iong.

Do you ever get the feeling
it might be later than you think?

Anyway, l just knew
my onIy chance to see you

before you fIy away
or l died of intimate exposure,

would be to wake you up
in the middle of the night.

So I said to myseIf, "Go ahead",
because if he doesn't understand

how you have to wake peopIe up
in the middle of the night sometimes,

then nobody wiII.

So l thought, Wwhat the heIl?"

Have you ever noticed that "what the heIl"
is always the right decision to make?

What did you do tonight?

I arrived, and...

I washed, and... l got to work,

actuaIly attempting to derive the tangentiaI
vector qualities of aIpha C-squared,

but whiIe l was keeping "T" at infinity.

You had a bad night too, huh?

I suppose so.

I could have been watching a pretty girI
having her skirt blown up above her ears.

WouId you have watched?

WouId you have liked me to?

Yes.

It would have embarrassed me.

The others, they didn't embarrass me.

l don't think a girl should go through
something like that without feeling embarrassed.

Doesn't seem naturaI somehow.

WeII... I just wonder why...

would my watching have embarrassed you,
whereas the others didn't.

They just saw a star doing glamorous
things right there on the block.

You'd have seen a girl showing
her legs to a bunch of jerks.

Look, could l explain something to you?

Certainly.

What?

The theory of reIativity.

- AlI of it?
- No.

Just the specific.

The general theory is a IittIe bit
too complicated to go into this Iate.

Don't you think?

Oh, pIease! l'll never have
another chance to prove it.

But why do you have to prove it?

You know what you know.

You don't believe me.

lf you say you understand relativity,
then I believe you understand relativity.

You're just saying that to avoid
seeing me embarrass myseIf.

No, certainly not.

You honestly believe I understand relativity?

Yes.

Swear to God?

Whose God?

Yours.

You better prove it.

With my God,
I don't wanna take any chances.

No, no, no. I'm not theoretic.
I demonstrate. Come on.

I bought a few things.

You stand there for a second. There.

Sit down.

Here.

Wait.

Now, there are two things you have to know.

The first thing is...

If l drop a copy of...
'The Brothers Karamazov'...

in a moving train,

it doesn't fIy backwards
and flatten the conductor!

It just...

drops relative to the train.

So if anyone is conducting
an experiment in a moving train

or in the laboratories in Princeton,

the resuIts wiIl aIways be the same.

Because no matter where his springs
and ruIers and baIIs are, he's there too.

That's the first thing you have to know.

The second thing you have to know is...

that light absolutely always
travels at the same speed

in all directions at once.

186,282 miles per second.

.397.

- lt got faster?
- We got more accurate.

Don't confuse me.

Now then...

We have to imagine...

a man driving in a car at 30 miles an hour

and a hitchhiker standing by the road
waiting for a lift.

Now, the car's traveling at 30 miles an hour.

And the man inside the car

throws a stone at the hitchhiker
at another 30 miles an hour.

Now, he's a league pitcher.

So the question is,
if the car's going 30 miles an hour

and the stone is going at another
30 miles an hour thrown in front of it,

how many miles an hour is the stone
going when it hits the hiker?

Answer?

60 miles an hour, right?

Pretty straightforward.
But now Iet's forget about the stone.

Instead, we'll imagine...

the car is traveling at 30 miles an hour,
and he...

Wait a minute.
We have to put the hitchhiker back.

All right. Imagine...

the car is driving along 30 miles an hour,

and he's flashing his headIights
at the hitchhiker

telIing him to get the heII out of the road.

Does the Iight traveI at 186,282 point...

397.

...397, plus 30 miles an hour?

The answer, no. Why?

Because the speed of Iight
is aIways the same.

Right?

- Did you ever prove that hypothesis?
- lt's never been disproved.

Let's hope it never is.

You ready? Here we go.

We have to imagine two locomotives

speeding past each other
at a helI of a speed.

A red one...

and...

a green one.

Now, the driver of each train...

You're the driver of the red train.
Turn it on when I say go, okay?

...has a flashlight, which he turns on

at the precise moment
that they pass each other.

Now remember, the Iight from the flashlight
travels at the same speed,

regardIess of the speed
of the flashlights themseIves.

So...

each Iight...

Turn it on.

Okay. Come on.

Okay, go.

Both Iights expand together.

Turn it on!

In alI directions just Iike

a single sphere of light.

Not only that...

it's time as welI.

You got a watch?

'Cause you're gonna need it.

Now, we have to imagine this room

is the entire universe.

And we begin together someplace

in space-time...

and we synchronize it.

What does your watch say?

8:15.

8:15. Right!

I traveI away from you at a heII of a speed.

Say, one-fifth the speed of light.

And I traveI for five minutes,
and it gets me here.

Now, I look at my watch.

It says 20 minutes past 8:00.

But it's not very reliabIe,

so l look across the universe

to check with your watch.

- And what does your watch say?
- Twenty minutes past 8:00?

Not to me it doesn't.

It says 19 minutes past 8:00,

because 20 minutes past 8:00
hasn't reached me yet.

lt takes a minute for me to see your watch,

because it takes a minute
for the light to reach me.

See? So, your watch
is getting slower and slower.

And now comes
the thousand dollar question.

Remember, if you Iook at my watch,

it's gonna take a minute
for it to reach you too.

- So now what do you say my watch says?
- 19 minutes past 8:00.

Which means you say
I'm going more slowly than you,

while I say you're going more slowly than me.

She's beautifuI!

- God!
- Jesus!

- Not bad!
- God!

She's beautifuI!

Isn't it?

So...

So?

So?

So, given a constant frame of reference
within which to experiment,

according to Galileo's original principles,

and accepting the hypothesis
that Iight aIways traveIs

at 186,282.397

miles per second in all directions at once,

the main point l've demonstrated

is that all measurements
of time and space

are necessariIy made reIative
to a single observer

and are not necessarily the same
for two independent observers.

And that is the specific theory of reIativity.

- lsn't it?
- Amazing. But true.

Now then...

You have to show me your...

legs.

I promise never to exhibit these in pubIic,

so long as you'lI promise
not to lecture on nuclear physics.

Are you kidding? I couldn't if l wanted to.

It's one thing remembering it.

I just wish I understood it aII.

You Iearned it without understanding?

Mm-hm.

It's...

It's like riding on the subway.

I know here I get on, where I get off.

While l'm traveling,
I don't know where the hell l am.

l suppose you must,
but then you dug alI the tunnels.

StilI...

I understand the results and the premise.

I guess that's the main thing, huh?

That's nothing.

Sorry?

If I were to tell you that the moon was made
out of cheese, wouId you believe that?

Of course not.

But now, if l tell you it's made out of sand?

Maybe.

If I telI you I know for sure?

Then l wouId believe you.

So you know that the moon
is made out of sand.

- Yes.
- But it isn't.

l only said l knew,
because you said you knew.

I lied.

KnowIedge isn't truth.

It's just mindless agreement.

You agree with me.
I agree with someone else.

We alI have knowledge.

We haven't come any closer
to the truth of the moon.

You can never understand anything
by agreeing,

by making definitions.

Only by turning over the possibilities.

That's called thinking.

lf l say I know, l stop thinking.

As long as I keep thinking,
l come to understand.

That way, I might approach some truth.

That's the best conversation l ever had.

Is it over?

I think it had better be.

Hey.

A girIfriend and l pIayed this game
a few years ago.

We each made a list of the men
we thought it'd be nice to sIeep with.

- You came in third on mine.
- Third?

Then l figured out how old you are.

And you struck me off.

No, silly.

I moved you to the top.

Thank you.

But, no, thank you.

But you can't just throw me out
onto the streets at this hour.

l suppose not.

You're weIcome to stay.

But...

I shall sleep in the bathtub.

- Don't be absurd.
- lt's a fine American tradition.

But you can't sleep in the bathtub.

Well, Cary Grant did it
in the onIy American movie that I saw.

And if it's good enough for him,
it's good enough for me.

Look, we don't have to make love.

Wouldn't it be nice just to share the bed?

Perhaps l could give you my phone number,
and you'd be welcome to visit me in my home.

But you'd never find the time for me.

I'd just end up on first-name terms
with your answering service.

I don't have an answering service.

I have a secretary whose first name
is a mystery to me.

I have a small house on a large river

fulI of fish that l can't catch.

And l do have a great deal of time
to offer there.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I have none to offer you beyond tonight.

I just hoped we could come together
somehow in the middle of all this.

For an hour or so.

Then don't go.

But still I've got to sleep in the bathtub.

You're caIcuIating the shape of space, right?

Yes.

And when you've finished...

you'lI have expressed the precise
nature of the physicaI universe.

So?

So...

So, do it tomorrow.

It'II be here. l won't.

Come on, baby.

Don't you want me tonight, huh?

Don't you need me, huh?

Oh, l wish they'd switch me off.

I prefer to look up.

The stars.

The stars are so far away.

They make me feel smaII... and lonely.

All who Iook up feel smaIl and lonely,
like the rest.

Does that make you feel better?

A Iittle.

WeII then.

WeII then what?

WeIl then, what the heII.

Is it late or early?

It's reIative.

Your watch, it's just there.

lt hasn't told me the right time
since l was 11 years old.

Did you drop it?

No. l picked it up
with a huge eIectromagnet.

- Hey, let's see what's she's wearing!
- Why don't we get the watch?

Oh, darIing, it's beautiful!

You don't know what this means to me.

RealIy? Those are real diamonds.

Oh, it's so beautifuI.

I'Il drink to that.

Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

- What time is it?
- Don't worry about the time.

What do you say to me, baby?

Hey!

Okay, I can get it.

- Where the helI've you been?
- WeII, I was asked to...

She took my goddamn watch!

Baby, it's alI right.

Don't worry, sweetheart.

It's all right, dolI.

Hey!

Open up, you dumb broad!

- l know you're in there!
- Who is it?

Oh, just a fan.

Do your fans always foIlow you
that persistentIy?

OnIy those l marry.

You want me to get a passkey?

AIl I have to do is find the night man
and sign my name, and l'm in just Iike that!

- You want me to do that?
- Could you pIease be quiet?

He's famous?

He hit home safeIy in 66 straight games,
with an average of .351.

Are you kidding?

He's God.

- Should we let him in?
- No! He's angry!

You think by keeping him out,
he'll get happy?

- Excuse me! Sir?
- Are you hiding in the john?

Don't even think about it!

There's no pIace you can hide!
Now open the door!

- Open up!
- Excuse me!

I think he's just angry, not Iivid,
the way he's banging.

- How can you telI?
- He's not using his head.

Now look here, I'm gonna have
to caII the hotel detective.

- I'II go talk to him.
- Don't! You can't go taIk to him.

Ja, ja. Was ist denn das?

Was kann ich für Sie tun?

So, you finaIly slept with the delicatessen.

Hey, buddy, do you speak EngIish?

Ich kann es schlugen. Yes, l do.

Good.

So is my wife in there with you?

- lf she's not in there, then tell me.
- PIease, no.

As a man of honor, I'II believe you,

- and l'll leave you to sleep.
- Will you let me get some sleep here?

I'II telI you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna count to ten.

One...

You've never counted past three
in your whole life, you dumb ox!

Shit!

One, two, three, home!

That's far as you ever bothered to go!

You go Iock yourself in the bathroom.

- Better let me in.
- CertainIy not.

Yes!

Budy, I warn you, I'm caIling the poIice!

- Oh.
- Sir?

Hi.

I ain't angry with you.

I'm just disappointed.

That's all.

Listen...

If you so much as make a move
towards the man I'm with,

I swear to God, I'II be in that eIevator.

And that's the Iast you're gonna
see me for a very Iong time.

Well, that's a very big joke.

If I want to see my wife,
l just go to the movies.

If I want to see you in your underwear,

I go down to the corner
like aII the other guys.

- Be warned.
- What?

- So you screwed another shrink.
- We were just talking.

Talking until 5:00 in the morning?

That's hard to beIieve perhaps.

No.

No, it's not hard to believe.

If she can talk through the entire World Series,
she can talk tilI 5:00 any morning.

What I wanna know is
why you got no clothes on.

It's a dog of a night.

Ain't it though?

Get your coat.

I'II come... when we've finished taIking.

Okay. Finish talking.

But taIk fast.

Now you tell her what Floyd said.

- FIoyd?
- Yeah.

Freud.

Look, she's been to a dozen shrinks.

She teIls you she can't have
a stable relationship,

because she hated her mother.

You tell her the reason
she can't have a stable relationship

is because she hated her mother!

She pays you $50,
comes back next week,

you make a pass at her, and then
she goes and finds another shrink.

I've seen it aIl before.

Me and Floyd, we're old buddies.

Freud!

Let me teIl you, l've met her mother.
And she's easy to hate.

So anyone who hates her mother...

there's nothing wrong with 'em.

- Stepmother.
- Stepmother.

I'Il tell you who l hate.

It's you bunch of guys that I hate!

- Honey!
- What?

PIease! Just sit...

Just sit down and shut up!

Okay. Just taIk smart.

Where were we?

Doc.

You were discussing her head.

It just so happens we were discussing
the shape of the physical universe.

You're gonna start
with the easy ones first, huh?

Well, l suppose we could discuss
something we all know about,

but that would limit us
to the Iast nine World Series

and the names of the Seven Dwarfs.

You better shift right now.

WeII, six of them at least.

One!

- The shape of the universe.
- Two! I'm counting.

This isn't an appropriate time
to discuss that.

Three.

PIease let's talk.

- Please! Try four.
- Try home.

Can't you see the man doesn't wanna talk?

Now get off your butt, and Iet's go.

What is the shape of the universe?

It's not important.
You have things to discuss.

Goddamn it!

You tell her the shape
of the friggin' universe.

I wanna take her home!

Tell her!

Please.

Tell her!

WeIl, the shape of the universe
is difficult to describe.

If l were to explain it,
it wouId come out as abstract symbols,

but I'Il teII you how to imagine it.

Imagine a dot so smaIl
that it has zero dimensions.

You extend the dot
into a one-dimensional Iine.

You turn around the line,
and you've got a two-dimensional circIe.

You flip the circIe, and you've got
a three-dimensional sphere.

And you've got that sphere,
and you turn it into the fourth dimension,

and you got the shape of the uni...

You have the shape of the universe, but...

I know... l know how... I know now
exactIy how you can imagine it.

Take a compIeteIy soIid object,
a compIetely soIid object,

and twist it inside out indefinitely forever,

and that's the shape of the universe.

Wow!

BuIlshit!

I'Il telI you what l think it is. l think it's round.

Like everything else in nature,

like fIowers, like the moon and the sun.

It's alI based on a circIe.

You know that? Like the worId.

I don't know what you two geniuses
think the shape of the world is,

but me and Columbus
happen to think it's round.

lt's a damn-Iucky thing
for the United States too.

Because if it wasn't for Columbus,
we'd aIl be lndians.

What do you think about that?
Get your goddamn coat, and let's go.

I'm not coming.

- Why not?
- Because.

You're an idiot.

Do you want a divorce?

Is that what you want?

Oh, no.

- But we won the game.
- Yes?

Are you okay?

l bumped my head.

Do you want to finish it?

Yes.

No.

Well, then come home.

Come home, honey, or l swear
I'm gonna get me a lawyer.

And l'm gonna disappear for weeks,
so's you can't find me.

Now, Bob Dalrymple gave me
the name of a good man.

And I wrote his number down.

And I phoned him.

And he toId me, with your reputation,
l'd have no trouble at all.

In fact, he even said it'd be a pleasure.

You phoned a Iawyer?

WeIl, you haven't been home in weeks.

Yeah, I phoned a Iawyer.

Okay.

You'll come home?

Mm-hm.

Good.

Give me a hug.

I love ya.

Where is your coat?

I...

I have to go to the bathroom.

Bathroom?

Okay.

But hurry.

- You chew gum?
- No.

Thank you.

"Stan Martin."
Whoever heard of Stan Martin?

- You ever heard of Stan Martin?
- Mm-mm.

Some kid thinks he's a hotshot, and next thing
you know they put him on a bubble gum card.

You know how many bubble gum series
l've been in?

Thirteen!

Thirteen series. That's a Iot.

I've been in Chigley's Sports' Greatest.

I've been in Pinky's World Series Stars.

And that's 1936, 1937...

1942, 1944, 1949 and 1951.

That's good, huh?

Oh, and Tip-Top Boys' Baseball Tips.

That's Tip-Top Boys' Best Baseball Tips,

showing best how to pitch,
swing, dead-stop and slide.

And Hubbly BubbIy's Baseball Bites.

That's nine years best aII-rounder.

That's a lot.

Stan Martin.

How many kids do you know coIlect?

I don't either. Card for card,
it must run in the miIlions.

Heck, l'm stuck in aIbums
from here to the Pacific.

Worldwide.

They still give gum to little Chink kids,
don't they?

Sure they do.

They liberate them, next day,
they're out there swappin'.

Saw on TV the other day where they don't
take beads and junk up the Amazon no more.

They take instant coffee and bubble gum.

WeIl...

I probably go back in one of those villages
where they ain't seen a white man,

and they'lI look at me and come and say,
"Hey, big hitter, sit down and have some coffee."

l tell you, this fame thing, it's enough to
give you the heebies. l can teIl you that.

That's Chigley's, that's Pinky's, that's Tip-Top,
that's Hubbly BubbIy's Baseball Bites.

That's some gum you got there.

WeIl, I was in Chewy Fruits'
Great Scientific Achievements once.

I know that's not much compared to...

- Thirteen series.
- Thirteen series.

Yeah, weII, you got some cIaims though,
you know.

Somebody's heard of you.

You okay, honey?

You okay?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

- l'm okay.
- Good.

Let me teII you somethin'.

She's smart enough,
with aII that science stuff.

But that don't mean nothin'
compared to feelings.

You know?

You know, I couId kilI a man...

if it came down to just one.

I could.

I get so tightened up,
like l did before a game,

whenever l'm not aIone with her.

'Cause even my team, my old team,

they'd rather stare at her
than gab about old times.

They treat her like a star or something.

Between you and me...

Let me teII you somethin'.
Don't ever put a woman up on a pedestaI.

'Cause it'll just give her a chance
to kick your teeth right down your throat.

l'lI teIl you what she needs. She needs
a thousand peopIe touching her aIl the time.

Or she needs to be alone all the time too.

What are you gonna do?

I just get so tightened up, you know?

I got used to it before a game.

Now there's no...

Shit!

There's no...

It just goes on and on.

Honey? Are you bleeding again?

She bleeds inside.

You know, she's loose... her insides.

She can't... hold a baby
when it gets too big, and...

They tried to tighten her up,
but she just keeps getting loose again.

If she had a baby, it'd kill her.

'Cause they'd have to tighten her up
so much that the...

It couldn't come out naturaI.

But that's my girI.

She's all bright lights on the outside, and...

inside, she... tore up.
She feIl down and hit the street.

No!

PIease!

We're ready in five minutes, please.

Honey, please.

We're Iined up and ready
in five minutes, please.

Hey, honey.

I think we should call a doctor.

- She'd give us heII.
- But she's ilI.

I know she's ill, but she's alI right.

She just faints in strange bathrooms.

I'm going to speak to the night porter
and get myself another room.

- No. No, that's okay.
- Oh, no, no. Please.

You take care of her. Be my guest.

Well, hey...

Did you ask her up here?

I think she was just feeling lonely,
with all those people.

I know you.

You're Cherokee.

I'm an oId fool. You are Cherokee.

No. I'm an elevator man. I get a paycheck.

I eat a lot of hot dogs.

I go up and down.

I met one of your people once.

It was at Harvard Observatory
in the driveway.

He was collecting garbage.

He told me that a true Cherokee believes

that, wherever he is,
he is at the center of the universe.

Is that so?

But it's hard to believe in an elevator.

I go up and down.

I watch TV.

I'm no Ionger a Cherokee.

But l watch TV, and l see your face.

I hear your thoughts, and so I know.

- You are Cherokee.
- No, no.

l just don't want to be the center
of anything and certainly not the...

But the thoughts in your head
wiIl lead you there.

You know, when I was a girI--

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

- No, no, no.
- Why?

I just don't wanna hear no more stories.

I'm just trying to tell you how it is l love you.

WeIl, not a whoIe hell of a Iot. Look at this.

Not how much or how littIe.

Just how.

WeII, how is that?

In my way.

What about my way?

What is that?

Well, my way. My way.

What... What I want.

That's all.

And I'm tired.

Do you still want a chiId?

I want the one we already had.

I was under contract.

What if l were carefuI?

I don't care no more.

It might be a son.

It might be a fuckin' mess.

I want to be pregnant.

- lt'd never get born.
- This one wiII.

Honey, you're broken
and you're bruised inside.

Besides, I don't know
how to Iove you anymore.

Oh, pIease, God, if l am...

I want a daughter.

No, a son.

Oh, honey.

I think I am, honey.

This time, l really think l am.

Don't they ever sleep?

Going up.

America. My country, 'tis of thee.

Professor.

Good morning, Professor.

Professor.

I've got good news for you.

I've got a warrant here issued
by the Department of Defense

authorizing me to search
your room and belongings

for any materiaI or artifact that might
be defined or deemed harmfuI

to the security of the
United States of America.

Is that okay by you?

That's astounding.

I mean, you couId be a spitting image.

I know, if l were eight years younger
and l took better care of myseIf.

Right.

This is Room 1614, isn't it?
I mean, the professor's room?

He took another, I don't know where.

Well, wherever he is,
he ought to be ashamed of himseIf.

Go and find him.

You mind if l wait?

Only if you don't mind my throwing up.

Oh, you've taken a dislike to me.

It's my fault for breaking
in the room like this, huh?

But, you know, you couId be her sister.

Must be an advantage to a girI like you.

What do you want?

That's for real, isn't it?

What do you want?

Oh...

A Iot of stuff that's hanging around here.

That wasn't much of a customer
you had last night.

Are you for reaI?

Do you think I'm not?

- l think you're vain.
- l think you're charming.

I think you're very vain.

You're a good boy.

You want me to caIl the vice squad?

- No.
- Then shut the fuck up.

- What are you doing?
- l'm doing my job.

I've got a warrant authorizing me
to confiscate any suspicionable materiaI

under the State Protection Act of 1912.

So, you see, your customer of Iast night
wasn't quite what he seemed.

Now, wait a minute. Where are you going?

Where are you taking that? Will it be safe?

There are no copies.
Are you acting officially?

If I wasn't, I'd destroy aII of this.

Is that what you're going to do?

Look, it's none of your goddamn
business what l'm gonna do.

These are my orders.
I was told to pick it up and to sit on it.

Then the phone rings.
Then it tells me what to do.

Either l give it back
or l burn aII the goddamn stuff!

No! I'II report you!

- To who?
- F.B.l., C.l.A.

I don't know, N.B.C. What do l care?

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Will you just hoId on for a second?

Just calm down. lt's adverse pubIicity.

Now, it may not be bad for you.
In fact, it might do you some good.

But think of the professor,
the professor's position.

No. PIease leave it.

At Ieast wait till he gets back.

You don't understand.
This work's priceIess.

Do you think l'm pIaying games here?

My concern happens to be
the survival of the free worId.

You do realize, don't you, that...

this isn't only the cuImination
of a man's life work, only Lord knows.

In fact, it's a set of calculations that come
cIose to describing the shape of space-time.

Now if you'd just let him finish,

he'Il have figured out how it alI fits,
how everything fits.

Wait a minute. Who do you think you're
talking to? Some kind of a greenhorn?

Don't you think l've given some
thought to these documents?

And I've come to the concIusion

that the shape of space-time
is of no fucking importance.

lt's just paper.

Well, he wouIdn't agree, and neither do l.

Please.

Leave it.

For me?

You know, it's uncanny.

You've really studied that lady, haven't you?

I couId let you have money!

Money.

Do you think that you could bribe an officiaI
of the United States government?

- Huh?
- Yes!

Now, where would a girl like you
get that kind of money?

It takes money to buy a man.

- l am not a girl.
- l was being polite.

- Now, look...
- Damn it.

You've tried appeaIing to my waIIet
and to my inteIIigence.

Are there any other littIe persuasions
you'd like to try?

- Maybe.
- l'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

AII right.

WeII, let me get this correctly.

In return for the calculus,

you're offering me sexual favors?

- A sexual favor.
- A sexual favor.

I mean, what the heIl.

It's not me you want. lt's her.

Right?

l never... l never had to pay for it in my life,

least of alI with my integrity.

My goddamn kid, he's got her picture
tacked up on the wall!

Goddamn goddess!

Huh? She's mortaI, ain't she?

I mean, shit, she's no different
than you or me or anybody else.

And she only got where she was going,
just by doing what you're doing.

Are you aII right?

A Iittle girI's gotta look after her littIe body.

l'm sorry if l hurt you.
You know? Excuse me.

But you know, a little body
ain't worth this sheaf of papers.

You know that, don't you?

Hey, look, l'm awfully sorry, you know?

Excuse me, please.
It was nothing personaI.

I'm sorry if l hurt you.

Good morning, Professor.

Sleep well?

- Good morning.
- Hope you're weII.

Young lady's dressing.
She'll be out in a minute.

Ready to testiry this morning, sir?

I am not going to testify, Senator.
l've told you that already.

Well, Professor, I thought
perhaps you'd reconsider

and maybe grace us
with a few wise words, huh?

I ought to give you wise words,
coming here, messing with my papers,

prowling around in my room
in my absence.

WeII, Professor...

My wise words, they are reserved
for the peace conference.

Yes, but, you know, your government
and your country need your heIp right now.

We need some expression from you.

The government needs your support.

- Well, l want to ask you this.
- What?

Do you know that you practicalIy
accused me of disloyalty last night?

- Oh, Professor!
- Wait a minute.

You wanted me to answer yes
to those famous questions of yours.

Now l want to know from you.
You want my support.

Why now and why me?

Professor, look, the Atomic Energy Commission
comes up for review in a month.

And there's some wiseass congressmen
who want to put a lid on the Nevada tests.

Now the president needs the backing
of men Iike you, of your profession,

the top man, the most important man.
And that man is you.

- Oh, no. No, no.
- Yes, Professor.

Not me. TelIer. Oppenheimer.

Oppenheimer?

His name casts a shadow of doom
since Nagasaki.

Professor, the world chooses its heroes.

There are no shadows
in the pristine world of theory.

No stains of Armageddon where E=mc2.

Even if mc2 equals one fuck of a big bang.

Professor, you seem to me Iike a man
who likes to have things cIear and simpIe.

WeII, let me give it to you
cIear and simple, realIy simpIe.

You open your mouth anywhere,

at that peace conference
or any public place,

and I promise you, Professor,

I personally, personaIly, will see to it
that your life's work goes up in smoke.

Oh, Jesus!

God!

So you see, Professor...

there comes a time in every man's life

when he's got to figure out
what is more important...

what he thinks or what he does.

Professor, what...

You out of your mind?

Oh, God!

You Iost your life's work.

Your life's work! Are you crazy?

WeII, besides that,
I seem to have Iost my shoes.

Oh, shit.

I don't beIieve it.

Every time l turn around, there's
a different man in my wife's room.

- Don't I know you?
- Yes, you do.

- Who are you?
- Me?

l'm a senator, and I'm a friend
of the professor's.

- You are?
- Yeah.

- Well, then come inside.
- No. No, you see, I'm in a bit of a hurry.

Listen! UntiI l taIk to my wife about this,
you're gonna come in here unaided

or l'm gonna knock the shit out of you
out here in the haIl.

Are you threatening me?

No. I've never had to hit an intelligent man.

But l'll knock your block off,
if you don't get inside.

- Now wait a minute.
- l want to know who you are...

- Professor! Professor!
- ...what you're doing here.

Professor, wiII you taIk some sense
into this man? Please!

TaIk some sense? Between the two of you,
I don't know if sense is possibIe.

- Who are you?
- TeIl this man we're civilized people. Please.

- WelI, there shouldn't be violence,
- No.

even against you.

Excuse me. PIease. Please. Do let him go.

His business realIy was with me. Please.

- Do. Do let him go. Do let him go.
- Yes. Yes.

Honey?

- Honey?
- Yeah?

It's okay. Take your time.

I got it figured out.

I been on a long waIk, been thinkin'.

Now, I want a kid, you want a kid.

You know, most of the time,

the probIem is you can't stand me
most of the time, right?

Reason is you think l'm stupid. Right?

WeII, let me Iet you in on a littIe secret.

I am not stupid.

I just enjoy giving the appearance
of being stupid.

You see, from an early age, l've revelIed
in the appearance of stupidity,

which has given me
a great deal of time to think.

So l've been thinking. l got it figured out.

If you want me to smarten up,
l figure you're worth it.

So you go do your movies.
I'Il sit at home, l'll read a few good books.

You can come home and quiz me.

How does that sound?

No more TV.

No more TV dinners.

If you like, no more basebalI.

You come home. I'Il smarten up.

We'll have a couple kids.

No more chewing gum.

Oh, honey.

Yeah?

Hey.

It's over.

You think so?

Yeah.

You better call that lawyer friend of yours.

Yeah, I think so too.

Maybe I am that smart.

You want some advice?

You got to figure out what you want.

Well...

I don't want you.

What do you want?

I don't want to want.

What do you want?

I just wanna go.

Don't you understand?

I just wanna go.

Hey.

Every five or six packs.

- Thank you.
- Huh?

Let's go down.

- Hi.
- Hello.

There was this man.

I know. lt was that obnoxious one
from Iast night.

Did he take your work?

I think he took your work.

- He didn't.
- Thank God.

I threw it out of the window.

What? Oh, you're joking.

No. I did.

And it was great fun.

- You're serious? You threw it away?
- Yes.

- The only copy.
- No.

The fifth.

I don't understand.

It was the fifth copy.

Oh. Then you mean you have more.

Oh, God.

No, l don't have any copies,
because l destroyed alI four copies...

aIl five copies.

But... I'm sorry, l'm not foIIowing you.

Each time I've finished the work

and I've destroyed it and I started over.

Each time, I remember a little bit more, but...

lt's mechanical mathematics.
It's impossibIe to remember most of it, so...

Now I've destroyed it the fifth time, so...

It's all gone. lt's alI destroyed.

But... if you've finished it,

and so much as you've studied it,

you'd know how it alI fits, how it all works.

In fact, you'd know everything.

I'm an old man.

I wouldn't survive the pubIicity.

What l wouId like to do
is to go to some quiet place and...

just slip over the edge of the worId.

The way Columbus never did, unfortunately.

And what your husband said,

if CoIumbus had done it, we'd aIl be Indians.

Cherokee.

But instead, what are we? Americans.

And Iook at us.

He's the most knowledgeabIe.
I'm this much knowledgeabIe.

He's got the most power.
l have very little power.

She's that beautifuI. l'm this beautiful.

Excuse me. Can l have your autograph?

Yeah, sure.

- Do you have something to write on?
- Yeah, sure. You wanna write that out to...

They wiIl not take responsibiIity
for their world.

They want to put it alI
on the shoulders of a few.

And I teII you,
the weight of alI those worlds--

Look...

Stop talking so goddamn smart.

I've heard enough.

lt just sounds Iike words.
I've heard enough of your words.

l came here to know you,
and alI you've done is hide behind words.

Now, what are you hiding from?

- Nothing.
- Don't lie to me.

- Listen. It's..
- What are you hiding from?

- What are you afraid of?
- Nothing.

Liar! What are you afraid of?

Tell me!

The center of the impact
was in the center of the city.

And the boiIing continued
several minutes as we watched.

Then the mushroom of smoke broke off,
and another developed beneath it.

- There is something.
- What?

- A thought.
- Tell me.

- Please.
- No.

Tell me.

We made vast distance
between the target and ourseIves.

We breathed a sigh of reIief
when we knew it'd worked.

The expIosion was a big balI of fire.

One of the crew members said, "My God!"

We burned children.

No.

You're not responsible for that.

You don't beIieve
you're responsible for that?

Tell me the truth.

There's something even worse.

What could be worse?

I don't know.

But l must not think about it.

I gotta go.

Hey.

- Do you wanna hear my Iines?
- Hmm?

Okay.

l take the pot roast from the oven.

l hear the doorbeIl.

I run across the apartment,
removing my apron.

I kiss the man.

I disappear?

No words.

Look, lt's over.

They'll never use those things again.

They simpIy never wiII.

They always have.

No, it's different now.

I mean, figure it out.

AlI those peopIe
with their fingers on the button

are the same people who own
alI the stuff that'd get blown to blazes.

So they'lI never do it.

Unless, of course, they figured out
a way to bIow up the people

and leave the buildings standing,

which they can't.

Bye.