In the Sign of the Lion (1976) - full transcript

In the Sign of the Lion

- I'm done.
- Read it to me.

"And standing there on the hill, the young
baroness gazed toward the castle

for the last time. A castle which had been
her home since she was a little girl. "

"And tears were pouring down her cheeks. "

"Her eyes were filled with sorrow. "

- It sounds a bit over the top.
- Maybe so.

"Then she jumped into the ocean. "

"She threw herself at the mercy of the sea... "

"And while her lungs filled with
water, she was thinking... "

"And while her lungs filled with
water, she was thinking... "



"Let a spell be cast upon
the beautiful castle... "

"A spell upon her relatives who
still live there... The End. "

- That's a beautiful ending.
- Yes.

- Quiet. Rasmussen is in hot water.
- I think there will be a letter in the mail today.

- Yes, another manuscript returned.
- No, not this time.

- Here I am with the Doppelgangers.
- Doppelgangers?

Yes, aren't there 47 people who die in
your novel? And then they always return...

- Then they have to be Doppelgangers
- That's not funny at all!

Why do you think nobody
wants to publish this novel?

- It's too good.
- Touching.

That's so sad.
We have a letter to prove it.

- Loads of letters.
- From every publisher in Denmark.

One of them said they'd never
read anything more horrible.

Another one says, "One death too many. "



That part you read was kind of sad.

Here's the letter. Read it, Rosa.

"Dear writers". Writers... That's good.

"I'm sorry to be
the bearer of bad news... "

"Your family chronicles
don't interest us. "

"The time for such novels has passed. "

"Today we need stronger,
meatier and much

more character-driven stories
with lots of sexual innuendo. "

God almighty!
Can such filth really get published?

Look what it says here.

"The morning after, my body looked like
the Danish flag: all red and white... "

"I've never fukked so hard and
violently in my entire life. "

They can't even spell.
"Fucking" with two k's.

And then there's this part.

"He tore off my little pink panties
and there he was with his big

hard, swollen... "
No it can't be!

- Yes, it is.
- What?

- Cock!
- It says "cock". I can't believe it.

And our family chronicles,
they're so sweet and innocent.

You ladies have never
been with a real man.

We haven't?

- Should we give him the naked truth?
- Yes, you'd believe that!

I'm so eager to meet the count.

We were just two young schoolgirls
when we first arrived at the count's mansion.

We met Yrsa, a strong woman who
was said to be a major force in the family.

We were just two very shy girls.

- Count?
- I said I didn't want to be disturbed.

May I introduce your two new maids?
This is Soffy and Rosa.

Oh, Miss Yrsa.
Just finish me off then you can leave.

I'm done. Thank you.
Well these two had better be exquisite.

Yes, yes, Splendid!
May I feel your... "special attributes"?

Count Johann never bought
anything he didn't like.

No, he wanted to
be absolutely sure.

Before he hired two new servants.

And when we had satisfied
his finicky demands...

And his finicky hands...

We were taken care of in the mansion's
unique style, so to speak.

Girls, you've passed!
Let's give you a try!

And we liked it.

- That was the naked truth.
- I'll be damned.

Yes, if the publisher doesn't want our
nice romantic stories...

We could just give them the real deal...

- Kiss, kiss, wham, bang!
- Isn't that a little too personal?

You were the first to throw off
your clothes. You always were!

Wasn't it you who first
went down on him?

- You're right Rosa, let's do it!
- Do what?

Write a family chronicle based
on our own experiences.

We'll show them
"character-driven. "

- And "sexual innuendo. "
- You're going to write an erotic novel?

- Yes!
- God almighty!

HP? The novel is not going to be about him,
but about that old fart, Count Johann.

We don't even have to name the castle,
nor do we have to give our real names.

Smart.
Just you keep quiet.

- My lips are sealed.
- Let's go to work!

"You learn new things every day...
Dumdidumm"

"When you deliver mail...
Dumdidumm"

"Dirty talking...
Dumdidumm"

"But, see no evil, hear no evil...
Dumdidumm"

Morning, Count. Here's a receipt from the
butcher, some receipts from the bank.

And a package for the Moral
Rearmament Fund. To the founder, it says...

You're the founder of that fund?
Funny... Ha Ha...

I was thinking about
the poor Count.

A lot of funny stuff
was happening during his time.

- Says who?
- Rumors. But I'm sure it's all just a lie.

There's never been any orgies here.
Those girls just make things up.

- What girls?
- Rose and Soffy. The old ladies.

They're writing a novel
about your ancestors.

About all the parties,
orgies and naked ladies.

But I'm sure it's all a lie.
My lips are sealed.

Count HP was just
Count Johann's second cousin.

But Count Johann made him
residuary heir anyway.

They hated each other.

But Count Johann was a
man of his word.

And family is family.

Let's start when Count Hubert
was shown the door.

Let me, let me.

Count Hubert was
a horrible person.

Narrow-minded,
a hypocrite and a...

Peeping Tom.

One night, when two of
Count Johann's young guests

had a little "indiscretion" so to speak

otherwise known as love between two girls

Count Hubert snuck up and spied on the girls

in their moment of intimacy.

- Let go!
- You whore!

When Count Johann discovered his cousin's

peculiar habits

he was furious.

The good old count

had always been

an aristocrat.

He was the first person in Denmark

to own an automobile.

He was also the one

who brought the new art of

photography to Denmark.

Among the guests at Boholms Castle-

was one Oscar Pilford.

Who had bought a camera in Paris

for the purpose of making photographs.

The count knew right away

what this thing

would be good for.

Continue, Soffy, you were there.

Yes!

It was a beautiful summer
day at the castle.

My dear Pilford, how do you
make those pictures

you see in art galleries?

You mean photographs?

Yes, of beautiful young women in
nothing but their birthday suit.

First, you need a beautiful model.

Soffy?

- Soffy, are you ready?
- Yes, count.

Go ahead, dear Pilford.
Your nude model is waiting for you.

But, I can't just...
Sure you can.

Emma!

Now little Miss Soffy.
Just put your hand here.

And the other one like this.
And look out toward the lake.

Like in a "wet" dream
that symbolizes the...

Emma!

Yes, like that.
Lift up your head like that.

And the breasts.
Breasts up and forward.

So, you've started taking pictures
of other women's breasts?

- Emma!
- Aren't mine good enough?

So my dear, loving
husband doesn't want

his own wife to do nude
modeling anymore?

I was the first model in Denmark

to show my bottom.

Good, Emma!

- Soffy, now you and I will create art.
- Emma, I'm begging you.

- On with it.
- The world's most beautiful photograph

is waiting. Take the damn picture!

Ah, yes. Good. Good.

Stay still.
Are we ready?

Ready, Freddy.

I would love to have

a photograph of you.

And in return

I'll give you one of mine.

More than twenty
different positions

Sure.

One where you're picking flowers

One where you throw me a kiss

One where you're riding a bike
in the forest with a kitten

That one I'd like to have.

- Stop.
- Anything strange?

Something is missing here.
A third person perhaps.

Someone who could... fill the empty space

- I don't agree at all.
- Perhaps a man?

- What about the count?
- Emma!

Why didn't I think of that?.

Come on, Pilford, lets do it.

And that's when Count Hubert
showed up. As always

he was spying, instead of doing
something useful.

Are you ready with your device?
Because I'm ready with mine.

Yes, don't move.

- Stop it.
- Yes, my friend.

- Don't move, I said.
- Yes yes

Hurry up will you!

Stop. Stay still, I said..

- Stop moving!
- Excuse me, dear Pilford.

and later that day

Count Hubert was

nothing more than

just Cousin HP.

"Dear Donkey Dick"

What should the title be?

You see old Hubert was a Leo...

"In the Sign of the Lion"
But what about the writer's name?

The Lion is good.

Here lies a young man, he's a lion,
he's far far away...

- It has to be Tony.
- Tony?

- Tony Bram. It's in the cards.
- He'll go crazy!

- But he'll never know.
- My lips are sealed.

That's when Cousin HP, as always,
came and ruined everything.

Ah, that stupid, stupid man!

- Now look at my garden.
- So the ladies are writing again.

Perhaps a little family chronicle?

What's that, HP?

A little bird whispered in my ear...

That you're going to write
about my dead cousin.

- He was such an immoral human being.
- He was not!

It's all how you look at it.
If you only knew what I know about him.

- We do.
- How? Have you read his diaries?

- You stole them?
- Certainly not.

I never found them again,
so it must have been you.

If we want to write about your
cousin, it's none of your business.

Exactly. That includes you too, HP.

Yes, as long as it's beautiful and romantic

I won't have to interfere.
Goodbye, my ladies.

I'll give him some diaries.
We have to move on.

Yes, but what about the rest of photographer
Pilford and his wife Emma.

Let's start with HP. That snake.
He told the photographer

he'd seen Count Johann

and the photographer's wife

doing it.

But Yrsa took care of that in her own way.

Good day, Mr. Pilford.
Where's your "photographing device" today?

What's that? Coffee or Brandy?

Two cups, two glasses... and cookies.
Where's the count?

Aha...

Aha, just as i suspected.

Ahahaaa!

I'll just... I can... Ahhhaaa...

C'mon. Let me in.
And come on out of there.

- My husband will kill us.
- Take it easy, Emma.

I can handle this.

Pilleman, my old friend

- You're, er... unexpected.
- Where is she?

- Who?
- My wife, idiot. She's in your bed!

That's not your wife.
Just some cheap woman I picked up.

My wife! Damn you! Let me in!

I can't let go of such
a vigorous young woman.

Just a moment. I'll assume

you can recognize your wife's
more intimate parts?

And if you get to see,
um... Just those parts

- Splendid.
- I'm not so sure.

- I'll ask the lady.
- Yes, please do.

Hurry. Spread your legs.

Miss Yrsa, I've never tried
that before. And right now...

- Be still.
- It tickles.

What do you think Tony would say,
if his name were on a novel like this?

Not a word. He's far away.

- She's certainly taking her time, eh?
- Welcome. The lady is ready.

I apologize. My wife's a blonde.

I'm so sorry, dear Pilford.

Are you sure it was Count Hubert that told him?

Definitely. That's what Miss Yrsa said.

A splendid idea, Miss Yrsa. You have saved
my relationship with the count.

I'm not here to talk about relationships
with my wife. Thank you. Cheers.

Aaah little Miss Yrsa.
What surprises life has in store.

Miss Yrsa? Miss Yrsa?
What are you up to?

I mean, rather...

I've got film developing.

Miss Yrsa!

Miss Yrsa...

You've got a wonderful mouth.
You really know how to use it.

There are those who...

Who told you?

It was... It was...

- Who?
- It was the count. The count. The count.

Hu... Hu... Hu... Huuubert!

Huuubert!

Oh, sorry, please don't let me interrupt.

Wow!

And here comes Rasmussen, right on time.

I'll be damned, that was funny!

This will be the novel of the year.

- Do you want to publish it?
- You bet I do.

You know people don't like erotic novels.

What about "Lady Chatterley's Lover"?

If it's even a bit erotic, we've got a bestseller.
I'll go and speak with the lady immediately.

Hope she's a sex bomb!

Writer Toni Bram.
You coming with me?

- If I can write about it-
- If you must.

I believe in progress.

- When are we going?
- Right away.

You realize you've just parked on my rake?

- I'm so sorry, please excuse me.
- "You're excused", as we say here.

- I'd like to see the author.
- The author?

- Doesn't she live around here?
- Well...

In a way.

- C'mon, don't you want to meet her?
- Yes, please.

Would you like to sit down?
May I offer you a glass of sherry?

Thanks, but no thanks;
I don't drink on the job.

Well, a glass of sherry, thanks.

Yes, please. Thank you.

It must have been cousin HP.
Who else could it have been?

Perhaps it was the vice squad.

Yes, they're always snooping around.

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

What have we done to
deserve this visit?

Well, wasn't it curiosity
that killed the cat?

We want the truth!

The naked truth!

No, I don't want to hear
the naked truth.

- I can't let you.
- Not like that.

I was going to pay for it.

And they say the police aren't
corrupt. Shame on you!

The police? I don't get it?

- Aren't you from the vice squad?
- You sure look like it.

No, more the opposite.

I beg your pardon?
Anton F. Moller, Future Publishing.

Karin is my niece, and a journalist.

I was thinking of buying
"In the Sign of the Lion".

You mean you want to publish our...
I mean, Tony's novel?

Yes. We have a bestseller on our hands.

You never know...
Have you ladies read it?

We've had a finger in it, so to speak.

- Isn't that so, Soffy.
- Sure, twenty of them!

And we have authorization to
act as Tony's agents.

Good, I brought a little contract with me.
Just need your signatures then.

- Five. Five thousand?
- That's assured. It could be even more.

The authors could earn up to a 30,
maybe 40,000 crowns, if the novel does well.

- Where is Miss/Mrs. Toni right now?
- Tony? In... uh... Paris.

But I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Tony isn't a...

I get it. Shall we say six thousand right away?

- Yes, but...
- Seven thousand?

Can't give you a penny more.
Seven thousand, yes.

Now we're talking. Seven. Now everything is
in black and white. Ain't no stopping us now.

And then there will be a little more for each
copy of the novel that sells.

Here, Toni Bram's signature goes there.
Here you go.

What I'm trying to tell you is
that Tony isn't a woman.

- What?
- He's my nephew.

- Is this him?
- Yes, handsome isn't he?

- Very much so. Can I borrow this picture?
- Ho-ho!

- Yes, there are the ladies.
- You've got this.

- There's a postcard from Tony.
- Thank you. Put the mail over there.

I'd just like to inform the ladies that
Tony will be here next week.

Then he'll be in Copenhagen when
the novel comes out.

- Goodbye, Mr. Rasmussen.
- Heaven...!

Let me know as soon as Tony is in Copenhagen.

I'll publish the novel right away, and have
a little press conference to spice things up.

My ladies, thank you for this afternoon.

- Are we just dreaming?
- No. This is real.

- But what if Tony says no?
- Hogwash!

He'll just meet with the publisher.

Then he's on the move again.
He doesn't even have to see the novel.

He'll just write his name on the check.

Cheers!

There he is.

Welcome to Denmark, my dear lad.

You look delighted. Has something happened?

No, but why do we have to meet here?

We were going to buy you dinner.

We've got a publisher for
our family chronicles.

He wants it to be big. We got
seven thousand already.

Is there really a publisher for
"The Almost Royal Family"?

That dim-witted novel with
all those deaths?

Is it a Christian publisher?

No, not really.

The publisher is a true businessman,
he sees the potential.

In "The Almost Royal Family"?

That's not its name anymore,
it's "In the Sign of the Lion".

- And you wrote it.
- I did?

Yes, it's written in the stars.
So please, if you don't mind...

Sign this check for us, would you.

- I don't get it.
- You don't have to. Just sign.

And then go with us to the press shindig,
and have a glass of champagne.

- I can't.
- Don't screw this one up.

The novel will only be released
if you're the author.

- No...
- Tony, please.

- Why does it have to be me?
- Count Hubert, at the Bonholm Castle.

Where we were from time to time.
He might think this is the key novel.

He's threatened us.
Please, sign this.

Help us Tony, you're our only hope.

It can't hurt to go to the press shindig.

I knew you wouldn't let us down.

We've got you a room at
the Missionary Hotel.

- I want to read it first.
- I'm afraid that's impossible!

That's a good article you wrote
on that Tony Bram fellow.

You'll have to get him for an interview.

- Have you read his novel?
- No, have you?

Yes, I'm reading it now.
I'll see what I can do.

Thanks.

- Oh no, Tony can't see this.
- I want all of them. Right away.

Have you got a room for a Tony Bram?

Well, just a moment.

- I'll help you.
- Thanks.

Bye for now.

Old Mr. Julerup was an animal, so to speak.

He knew how to have a good time.

One day he went for a little ride around town.

he brought Yrsa and Soffy out for a little ride.

But after a minor accident on the road,
Soffy and Yrsa went to work.

What filth!

Connect me with 1448. Vice division.
Officer Petersen.

- Aren't you that writer? Tony Bram.
- Yes...

I recognize you from today's paper.
That novel, right.

Yeah, I'll bet.

We're here to take care of you.

The publisher will be here any second.
Fancy a drink?

I'm not sure. I'm not good under
the influence of alcohol.

Me neither. Heh heh...

Can you sign it for me?

- My name is Sofus.
- S... Sofus?

In the meantime I'll get you a drink.
It's not going to be Tiger milk.

No it's more like Tiger's blood.

The big ball at the castle

always evolved into

something erotic and extraordinary.

Can I have the check please?

Everything here today is on
Anton F. Moller's account.

Hello Tony Bram. I've been
looking forward to meeting you.

- You have?
- I'm Karin and I'm a journalist.

Thanks.

Stop it.

- Nervous?
- It's like I was dreaming.

Can I have a word with you?

Before the lynch mob gets you.

- The lynch mob?
- Yes, the hack journalists... my colleagues

- Two scotch, on the rocks.
- I've got...

Zip it, I'm not going to bite you.

- When do we get to meet the giraffe?
- He's a Lion.

I'll get him.
I'll be right back.

Hello.

Thanks.

Giving an interview is not hard.

- It's worse. Have you read it?
- Certainly.

I've written a big article on you already.

- Perhaps you didn't see it.
- Not a clue.

Hello, hello. Anton F. Moller.
We'll talk later. The press is here.

- I can't
- I'll stick with you.

God only knows how this will end.

Are these erotic stories your own experiences
or just made-up fairy tales?

Are they what?

Are you the son of a priest?
They are the worst of the worst.

- Are you an erotomaniac, by any chance?
- No, I'm an engineer.

Excuse me; do you know where
Anton F. Moller has his shindig?

- It's in there.
- Oh, thank you.

Hello. Anton F. Moller.
Which magazine are you with?

I'm a vice detective. Officer Petersen.

A Count Hubert called me, on behalf
of the "Moral Rearmament Fund".

Well, good you came.

He wants to press charges.
It's regarding a filthy novel.

- Pure insanity.
- Has your mother read it?

No, I'll be damned. No. Not a chance.

Cheers!

It's a little light on the
booze, don't you think?

Pretty wet, right?

Take your wet clothes off.
You don't want to catch a cold.

Could you unzip me please?

Thank you.

- You can borrow my coat.
- Yes, thanks.

Thank you.

You're pretty shy for
being an erotic novelist.

Theory is one thing,
fact is another.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- You're so beautiful.
- I don't buy that.

If I hadn't read your novel, I might have
believed your sweet and innocent dog's eyes.

I don't like knowing that you've read it.
You're too good for such crap.

The novel is vulgar and filthy and

Tony, spare me.
Your cheap tricks won't work on me.

I bet there are a lot of cheap girls
buying your even cheaper tricks.

- But not me.
- That's terrible

When you finally meet a girl,
that you like, it's...

Destroyed by misunderstandings.

- You don't give up do you?
- I wish I could tell you the truth.

- So do it.
- I'm afraid I can't.

Then I would destroy...

- You're convincing.
- What?

Playing naive and dumb.

- Hello?
- It's me. It's wet in here right.

I'll take the next room.

- Hello?
- Whatever happened to Tony Bram?

- Got him right here.
- That's my girl!

Has he tried to seduce you?
What's up with that smut peddler?

He tried. Be cool.
A smut peddler is nothing to me.

You'll get your interview. Exclusive.

The other papers don't get squat.

Count Johann is always filled with crazy ideas.

One of his funnier games was,
"Who's thing could it be?"

"Eenie, meenie, miny, moe"
"Catch a tiger by its toe... "

- I'll take that one.
- And I'm that one.

Where did it go?

And it wasn't always easy
to guess who's it was.

Isn't this your stop?

That lady.

She comes with loads of cash

but there's something crazy about her.

What the fuck are you doing?

Did you hear that, Soffy?
He said the f-word.

Fucking right I use the F-word!
You and your Family Chronicles.

It's all about bear, pussy and devil's music!

What kind of language is that?

The same language you use.
Page up and page down.

And you made me "write" that novel!

I'll track down each and every little
journalist and tell him or her the truth!

It's on the front page.
With a picture and everything!

I'll read it to you!

"Up like a lion, down like a lamb"

"That man was more of an
Aquarius than a real Lion. "

"He's one of the last boy scouts.
Completely inexperienced and innocent. "

"He doesn't have a clue about sex.
I bet he's still a Virgin. "

"Why on earth did he put his name
on something he knew nothing about. "

"This novel must have been written by a woman. "

Signed "Karin. "
What do you have to say about it?

Do you think a woman wrote it?

I'll find out.

- You know that the other papers...
- I know.

- I know what to look for.
- Look for it, damn it.

This is the Swedish bookstore.
We've got to have more.

They're going like butter in sunshine.
Give me 500 more.

1012!

"He's one of the last boy scouts.
Completely inexperienced and innocent. "

- Hello?
- Have you read The Morning Post?

- Who's Tony Bram?
- The publisher is asking for you.

No, he's not here.
We haven't seen him.

You threw this novel onto me.

Sure, I'd like it, but not with a phony writer.

If a woman wrote it, then get me that woman. Now!

He told me to get that author immediately.

If it was written by a girl, that is.

- Tony wrote it.
- I've had enough of that joke.

- But what if he stops the novel?
- Tell them you wrote it.

They can't do that.
First, the count would give them trouble...

Second, if a woman wrote it,
she must be a sex bomb.

Yes...

She has to be "erotically experienced"

Like that Karin. The journalist.

Okay, she'll have something to write about.
But you've got to help me.

I had panties like that when I was eleven.

You always ripped your clothes, dear Rosa.

and her I'd like to be alone with

- for five minutes.
- What's on your mind Soffy?

God almighty.

You say here you offer Japanese
dancing panties. What on earth is that?

I'll tell you.
Specially made panties

Straight from Japan.

Shut up, Soffy!

- They don't look Japanese.
- Soffy!

Don't you have anything more... advanced?

I can't run around in these
scout uniforms all day.

They're good for amateurs.
But don't you have something cool?

No it can't be.

Young man? We'll take
a couple pair of Japanese dancing panties.

- But without a tiny penis.
- Our second cousin has one of those.

We'll save it for later.

Have you called?

She called. The author.
The real Toni Bram.

The novel was written by a woman.
And she wants to meet with you.

She said your article had a
feminine touch to it.

And she looked forward to meeting
with you. Just you and me.

We'll meet at the Casanova
Beach Resort later tonight.

- How did she sound?
- Marvelous.

Deep, sexy voice.

"Hello... "

- Perhaps it's...
- The real Toni Bram.

Of course.
I knew from the beginning...

that there was a woman behind this novel.

- It couldn't have been a coincidence.
- Maybe you're...

Karin. I wrote the article about you...

About my twin brother.
And you figured it all out.

- I said to Tony...
- Is that your brother's name too?

What...? uh... No.

Antonius. But we thought "Tony" sounded
cool when we were kids.

He's a very kind and lovely person.

- Champagne?
- Champagne is always nice.

Waiter, champagne!

- What was it you said to Antonius?
- To who? My twin brother?

That it was ridiculous he took all the blame.

But he couldn't tolerate his

lovely sister putting her name
on a novel like that.

Can you imagine those words
coming out of his mouth?

- He's just a boy scout.
- Yes, he is.

But he's also a man. You can
put that in black and white.

- I'll put a lot in black and white.
- That's why I'm here.

I have a photographer with me.

- Do you mind if...?
- No, I'm up for grabs!

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

You have a strange look. Aren't you
happy with your new author?

You bet I am!

You are this novel.

- Do you want to dance?
- Yes, please.

I just spoke with the editors.
Shall we begin?

- Allow me.
- Thanks.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I have to know every little detail.
When were you born?

August 22nd. In the Sign of the Lion.

Which year?

Never ask a lady her age.

Excuse me, I have to powder my nose.
Au revoir...

When can I get an interview in peace?

I've got exclusive rights to all
her novels. And her memoirs.

- You're fast, aren't you?
- Sure. What a night.

- Next door, my darling.
- Pardon? God yes. Thanks, young man.

- It's in there.
- Right.

You were born on August the 22nd, you say.

Do you think maybe your twin brother was
born just a couple of hours later?

What do you mean?

If he was born after midnight,
he'd be a Virgin.

That's more like him.

I think you've got my brother all wrong.

- He's more...
- I'm interested in you.

Doesn't my brother interest you?

He's nice, but...

You mention the Zodiac signs.

and I've got this article to write.

- Let's say you're a Lion.
- Yeah?

And the Lions' sex lives are
among the most advanced.

When a lioness is horny,
she mates right away.

And in the jungle, they mate
like every fifteen minutes.

And this is... Hallelujah!

- Who was the Lion?
- That's a good one. We'll print that!

I just have to call this article in.

- See you in the restaurant.
- Okey dokey...

We've got tons of pictures.
Do you still want more?

- Yes please, as many as possible.
- Okay.

- Cheers
- Cheers, cheers.

How's the writing? Did you make it?

- It's in print.
- On it's way to the stands!

A big new edition. It'll blow
right off the stands.

Waiter, some more giggle-water?

There are places where people
would hate to hear a lullaby

But to see you leave my table
in tears would never happen.

- What have you done to him?
- You wouldn't know.

Some fresh air?
I'd like to talk some more.

He's big enough to take care of himself.

He is, isn't he?

- And what terrific air this is.
- What was it you wanted to talk about?

I want a real interview.

This was more like a story.

- But it made the papers right?
- It's on the stands in less than half an hour.

Do you want to jump in?
We'll have the beach to ourselves.

Do you want to take a swim, or did
you have your cold shower already?

No. It's more like...

Who am I really? You pulled my pants down
in yesterday's papers.

I'm looking forward to reading
your new article. Bye for now.

42...

4212.

Hello?

Thanks for yesterday and your nice little story.

the picture could have been
a little more flattering.

But you got everything.
She's wonderful.

- Where did you go?
- I'm a little out of it.

Yeah, me too. We have to follow up on this thing.

Your angle, about her twin brother

wanting to save his little sister.

Fuck it. It's good.
You have to do an interview with him.

Stop it! I don't want to have anything
more to do with that story.

Are you out of your mind? The phone
has been ringing all morning.

The first edition sold out, the second too.

A third edition is in print as we speak.

You should call that one off.

We're raiding the bookstores.

We're confiscating "In the Sign of the Lion".

It's the vice squad. They're confiscating
the novel. I'll call you later.

There's a court order.

The court has to judge whether
the novel is immoral or not.

- It might be the judge himself?
- We want to speak with Tony Bram.

The count has accused him of theft.
Where do we find him?

- Find whom?
- The author. Tony Bram.

Right, Toni Bram.
It's not a he. It's a she.

It's his twin sister. He just put his
name there to protect her...

He's just an insecure boy scout.
He's completely naive.

He couldn't have written that novel.

Don't you read The Morning Post?
It's all there.

What about my...

Second cousin?

And in your old party dress.

It's amazing.

You're so beautiful in the paper.

Who could mistake you for a man?

- Ah, shove it!
- What, everything is okay.

Yes for you it might be. But what about
Karin and me. The girl wrote the article?

She doesn't have to know.

- She does know.
- She does?

Impossible. Yrsa gave birth to
just one child. A boy.

And he has no twin sister.

Is there anything to this circus?

I mean these accusations of theft?

No, maybe not.

Sorry to interrupt. I thought I heard
something about "accusations of theft"?

The count thinks this novel is
based on some diaries

that belonged to his dead cousin.
Diaries that were stolen.

So, if you get hold of the author

or her twin brother, let me know
as soon as possible.

We have to interrogate them both.

They must not leave the country

until we've spoken to them.
Understood?

- What happened?
- What hasn't happened?

The problem remains, accusations of theft.

They may arrest the twins.
Now, when everything was smooth sailing.

What did the count have to say?

A shitload of things.

Like what?

Yrsa had just one kid, a boy.

Yrsa is mentioned all over the novel.

Do you have a copy? Or did the police
confiscate everything?

Nobody confiscated anything.

Here you go, the script.

Yes, here it is. "Who's could it be?"

Count Johann always had these crazy ideas.

One of the funniest ones:

"Who's could it be?"

Lets' see now...

To spice up this game

the count always switched places
with old Julerup

and Yrsa never guessed

But count Hubert always saw it.
He was there like always, spying.

If you see Karin, say hello for me.

She doesn't need to know I fooled her.

Neither I nor

my twin sister will bother her again.

- Bye.
- You're leaving now?

Yes, tonight. I just have to leave this
package for Count Hubert up at the castle.

It's a couple of old books his cousin
Count Johann wrote.

- You have them?
- Yes, he forgot them at my mother's house.

- You read them?
- I don't read other peoples diaries.

But mother often read them.
She used to say they'd mean nothing to me.

So long.
And like I said, say hello to Karin.

So it was Yrsa who had the old man's diaries.

Why?
To make sure none of us ever read them.

Wait. We wrote about those diaries.

Hurry. Find it.

Here it is.

That night the count was upset.

All because of Yrsa's pregnancy.
And he didn't know who the father was.

To avoid a scandal

the count took Yrsa and moved
to another country.

So that she could give birth in peace.

But little did we know, that this was
the last we would ever see of Count Johann.

He died in a car accident.

Shortly after, Yrsa gave birth.

Why didn't it ever cross our minds?

But it has crossed count Hubert's,
because he knows.

And now Tony gives him the diaries.
Stupid idiot!

Can I help you?

Are you the chairman of
the Moral Rearmament Fund?

And have you asked the police
to confiscate this book?

That's right. It's obscene.

You don't want to put a stop to it
because you know...

What?

Because it's based on your dead cousin's diaries.

The characters are not fiction.
They really existed...

and some still do.

But you see the novel as a mockery of your
family's name, isn't that so?

- That's secondary.
- Is it?

I want to clear your cousin's name.

Well. What do you want to know?

Yes, first of all.
This place.

- You've read the novel?
- Yes, it's part of my job.

- What a shame!
- What?

That a young lady like you has to read
such filth. It should be against the law.

Do you want to have me punished?
Just because I've read it?

Like you do on page...

Like here, in the beginning.

when you found out Yrsa had
an affair with your friend.

Then she ought to be punished.

- Who made up such nonsense?
- Nobody. But it was you, wasn't it?

She deserved it.
She fucked anybody, anytime.

While you were standing there watching.
Not allowed to join in.

- It was never like that!
- Maybe not.

It's just in the book.
May I see your hall of mirrors?

We have to get to the castle right away.
The diaries are our only proof.

The twins must leave the country

before the vice squad
confiscates their passports.

If you know what it is, just say it!

She has left, and he was going to the castle

He was going to return the count's diaries.

He must be stopped. He will fall
right into the Lion's mouth!

Was it here your cousin played
"Who's thing could it be"?

The girls saw it in the mirrors.

Who was it that made Yrsa pregnant?

You're mind is corrupted with lies.

You promised me you'd clear
my cousin's name.

Could be a little hard. When
you've seen the hall of mirrors.

You're nothing but a cheap little harlot!
You're just like all the others!

You've got an infected immoral mind!
You know too much about all this!

You wrote the novel!

And you shall see

that everything those old
ladies wrote was true.

- You're completely mad!
- Pardon?

- No!
- Not true?

I'll beat the devil and the obscenity

And the filth right out of
your delicious little body!

Admit you wrote the novel!

- No!
- Admit it!

Admit it! Admit it!

- Perhaps you are count Hubert?
- Who are you, what do you want?

Tony Bram.
I've got something for you.

- What?
- Your dead cousin's diaries.

So you're the one who stole them!

- Let me go!
- I haven't stolen anything in my whole life.

- Let me go!
- You wrote that filthy novel!

- There must be a misunderstanding.
- Let me go!

- What was it?
- Please leave.

- It's Karin.
- Help!

- I'll call the police.
- It's Karin!

Karin!

What's going on?

Officer Petersen?
It's count Hubert.

I've got Tony Bram here. And he
has returned the stolen diaries.

Right now he's beating the
poor young journalist.

Get over here before he
beats her to death!

- He's crazy.
- I'll have him killed!

No. Don't leave me.

Hurry! It's a matter
of life and death!

- Faster!
- Yes yes yes

Move. Faster. Faster!

What the hell. Is Karin here too!?

Tony Bram? You're under arrest.

He forced me.

He forced her here.
And then he started to whip her!

It's a lie.
He was the one whipping me!

She's out of her mind.
She's terrified and crazy.

He's a violent man.
An obscene and immoral crazy man!

Our Tony? A violent man?
Can't be.

- You're the crazy one.
- Yeah, yeah.

He stole the diaries. I took them
from him before he attacked her.

- He came to return them.
- I demand he be cuffed and brought to justice.

- Are you coming?
- Never.

You're not going to
arrest the Count of Boholm?

- Arrest me?
- Who said anything about you!?

I mean the real Count of
Boholm, the count's son.

Is this young man your son?

- Are you crazy?
- No, it's Yrsa's son.

- Who is Yrsa?
- My sister.

- She died many many years ago.
- She was one nice little girl.

And Tony never read the diaries?

Yrsa told him not to.

He would have gotten the wrong impression
of his father, Count Johann.

So, before he became author of this
novel, he'd never written

- No, it was his twin sister.
- That doesn't exist.

- She does, I've danced with her.
- No, it was with him!

But that's something entirely different.

You've lost me a long time ago.
I don't get any of this.

Think.

They played "Who's thing could it be?"
and the count impregnated Yrsa.

And that kid is Tony, get it?
The true heir to the Boholm estate.

Why didn't you just ask me?
My lips are sealed.