In Between Dying (2020) - full transcript

Hey Teacher!

There are a thousand doors in front of you!

And you don't know
which one is yours to open.

You don't know what's there, behind the doors.

You open a door.
A man comes out.

But he is not for you.
Open the next door.

Maybe you will find your class in there!

Ayla Safar (Age 6)

I have to leave my house.

I have to leave home.

I have to leave.



Today, right now.

To find my own home.

My own family.

My wife, my child.

Whose faces I have never seen.

Who belong to me,
as I belong to them.

I have to find them.

I'm coming.

I'm coming to you.

I should not leave my house.

I should not leave home.

I should not leave.

Not today, not ever.

To find my own home.



My own family,
my husband, my child.

Whose faces I have never seen.

Who belong to me,
as I belong to them.

I have to find them.
I am waiting here.

Whenever you come,
I will be here.

I am weeping in the corner,
like a rabid dog.

From now on, I am rabid.

I feel I'm destined to
do the same thing everyday.

Study abroad at an important university,
then come home to tend my sick mother.

You caused my father's death.

Why didn't you tell me?
I could've seen him one last time.

Hey, I'm talking to you...

Do not sin, my son.

Not for me, but God
may be angered by it.

I didn't tell you because
I wanted to protect you.

You're always talking about sin.

You're the greatest of sinners,
and now you're sick all the time.

And still, you lay the blame on me.

Again, I'm telling you not to sin.

I've told you a thousand times,
don't drink tea from my cup!

Where is my cup?
The one with the line.

There's a line on it.
I've told you a thousand times.

I mixed it up.
Sorry.

I can't stand this anymore!

I can't even drink
a tea in my own house!

I'm going out.

Davud, don't forget my medicine
on your way back home.

-Ask your holy friends to get it!
-If I don't take the medicine, I will die.

I'm leaving, don't wait for me.

I will not come back.

My God, forgive him.
He is young.

He doesn't know what he's saying.

If he knew, he wouldn't say it.

Davud, why are you so nervous?

-Do I seem nervous?
-Yes.

-Something happened?
-Nothing.

Yesterday's weed was crap.
I didn't like it.

I didn't like it either.

Let's get the same stuff as before.

-What, the Afghan weed?
-Yeah.

Let's get it.

But don't say it's crap, too.

You called me, Doctor?

Yes, I called you, Jemo.

You were just a little boy
when you first came to see me.

You've grown with me,
I gave you a "name".

And lately, I've been
hearing bad things about you.

Now you have two choices.

Either I take your "name" back,

...or you choose an honorable death.

Doctor...

You're right. I grew with
you, you gave me a "name".

But now you don't have
the authority to take it back.

You're making mistakes again.

Me, mistakes?
Who brought these drug addicts here?

Look at the joint in that bitch's mouth.

You're misbehaving again...

Am I wrong?
Is she right?

Is it right what she does?

Am I making a mistake again?

Yes, you definitely are.

-Who are you talking about?
-What did you say, man?

-Who are you calling a bitch?
-What are you talking about, man?

Run! Run!

Wait, you guys wait here.

Doctor, did you do this to him?

No, I didn't.
He did.

Take Isa and Musa...

...and go after the murderer.

Where did he go?

You will catch him.
My people will help you.

Go!

Keep me informed.

All right.

Isa, can you drive a car?

No, no.

And you?

Not very well.

Damn, you'll have to drive.

-What happened? Who shot him?
-The guy we passed, I think.

Which guy?

The Doctor said to
find him immediately.

-Where will we find him now?
-Is that Jemo?

Yeah, that's Jemo.
He said something bad.

What did he do?

He said something wrong
and he got killed.

I love you for doing that.

-You get off here, Shams.
-Why?

Get off, Shams, go.

Why? I'm scared, I don't want to
be alone. I'm coming with you.

You're not guilty,
it's me they're looking for.

Get off, Shams.
They won't pursue you.

Ok, then. I'll wait for you.

Come back!

Who is there?

They're coming. Shhhh.

Be quiet, silence.

Silence, silence.

Who are you?

I am rabid.

Rabid is my name.

I'm to die.

10 days, I'm to die.

Bit me, a dog.
I'm to die.

Die, I'm to die.

Run! Run!

-She bit him.
-My father.

I bit him.

My father.

So, she bit him, ok?

Why are we here?

I bit him.

You, run off, see where he went.

Where can he go?

We can reach him anywhere.

Why are you in this state?

Five years, I am here.

He tied me.

My mom left, so he did this.

A dog bit me.

And he beat me.

Why did that guy come here?

He's gone.

He's pure.

He leaves death behind him again.

No, not Death.

Love.

I should speak to the Doctor.

He left Love.

-Check if he's dead.
-Of course he is.

Only he loved me.

Only him.
No one else.

Only he showed me love.

Hello?

No, Doctor. We saw him,
but we couldn't catch him.

He ran away.
There was a stable.

We found a young girl there.

About 20 years old.

She was biting her father.

She'd been chained up for five years.

This guy said something,
he did something.

Then she attacked
her father, she bit him.

We saw him when we arrived.
But he ran away.

You told him we would
find him wherever he goes?

-Yeah.
-In that outfit?

You're testing my patience.

I'm just kidding.

We're just talking...

You can't climb?

Taste of my own medicine.

I encountered a rabid girl.

And Death again.

Unwillingly, I've been stained with blood.

So that you stay pure.

They think I am escaping.
They think I am scared.

I don't believe in
any of these feelings.

To live!
Only where you exist.

You, whose face I haven't seen.
Whose name I haven't heard.

Where are you?

My son...

Is my son well?

I saw blood today.

My hands were stained with blood.

I rubbed it on my face, into my eyes.
So that you stay pure.

No one is here. I haven't seen
anyone in a long time.

They have forgotten me.

Those who forgot me
have died already.

My feelings?

They haven't existed in a long time.

There was something called fear.

Or absence of fear.
I don't know.

I have forgotten.

To live!
Only where you exist.

You, whose face I haven't seen.
Whose name I haven't heard.

Where are you?

My son...

Is my son well?

I see only through a window.

I stare at the road.
I watch only the road.

From now on,
I am just a road watcher.

Madam, could I have some water?

Yes, of course.
Here.

Don't pour, I'm in a hurry.

Where are you hurrying to?

-They're chasing me.
-Your clothes are dusty. Sit, I'll clean them.

I'm in a hurry, ma'm.

Sit down, why hurry?
It's not the end of the world.

Sit for 5 minutes, clean up,
and then you may go.

Where do you come from?
Where are you going?

I stopped at a stable,
at the entrance of the village.

A girl bit her father,
I guess she was rabid.

Which village do you mean?
Was this Uncle Firudin?

A stable, it was the only one.

-Uncle Firudin has no daughter.
-I don't know his name.

He chained her legs.

He had a wife.

Then he shot her dead,
because she deceived him.

Why are you sitting here?

Me?

My husband drinks.

All day.

When he comes home...

...he beats me.
He drinks and beats me.

I'm fed up. I always sit here.
Looking at the road is my escape.

I sit all day watching the road.

You're injured.

Does it hurt if I touch it?

Yes, it hurts a lot.

What's your name?

Ilaha.

You can speak less formally to me.

I will use your name, Ilaha.

Here, let me drink some water.

Ilaha!

-Is that your husband?
-Yes, that's him.

Woman, I'm calling you.

Why are you sitting
here like a fool, huh?

Cars coming, cars going... And you're
staring at the road like an idiot.

Who is this guy?

-Woman! Who is he?
-Davud.

-Who is Davud?
-Me.

Who is this?

Have you finished your household chores?

Have you?

Get up! Get up!

Hey!

What are you doing?

What do you want?
What do you want?

What do you want?

Get up, woman!

Get up, silly woman!

Get up!

Get up, woman.

Come over here!

-What do you want?
-What the hell are you doing?

Who the hell are you?
What do you want?

Who the hell are you?

What do you want?

Stop!

I loved you.

I believed in you.

You, run away.
Run!

Don't stay here.
Go, quickly!

Wait, don't leave!

Stop here.
Let him leave!

Let's go see what happened.

Is he dead?

-Who is he?
-He's dead.

He's my husband.

He had to die.

-Did Davud kill him?
-I killed him.

He's getting away.

Let's see who else
he's going to kill. Let's go!

Come on, Musa.

This is getting funny.

Wherever he goes, a death occurs.

Doctor, we couldn't catch
him this time either.

He ran away.

There was another dead body.

Maybe this man isn't dangerous,

...but he kills people
through the hands of others.

We saw a woman and a dead man.
It was her husband.

Davud had been there,
he argued with the husband.

Her husband attacked, so
she hit him and killed him.

The woman says that when he appeared,
she felt a strong connection to him.

This man rescued her from her captivity.

Anyhow, something strange is happening.

He's a very strange man.

By killing one person,
he saves another.

An unusual man.

How much do these
things cost? These windwills.

They're rotating nicely, right?

I don't know.

You're kind of stupid.

It's interesting.

I wonder how much
energy they generate.

Not all of them work.

We've seen horrific things today...

-She killed him like a savage.
-Yes, she did.

Can you understand a woman,
beaten for 20 years,

...who never resists,

...and then goes crazy
over a little argument?

Say, there was this case,
I don't know if you heard...

A man had beaten his wife every day,

...and then he was
arrested for something else.

A seven year sentence.

His wife brought him a meal.
Every single day.

Every day...

I don't know...

It's very complicated.

I encountered a road watcher,

...and Death again.

And the husband
of a road watcher.

A drunkard.

Again there was blood.

Everywhere there is blood.

There is only blood.

My breath is blood.

All the roads I pass are bloody.

How are you?

I could almost see you today.

My eyes are bloody.

So I couldn't see you.

Are the mountains still in their place?

Are the lakes?

I might have a horse.

I can't remember.

My memory is bloody.

I have forgotten everything.

I don't know...

How can you forget things
you've never lived?

Today, I wrapped myself in darkness.

Darkness is everywhere.

Every hour of the day.

To wait is absolute darkness.

You were uttering strange sentences.

You enjoyed doing it.

Come and make sentences again.

When is it over?

When is the war over?

Today I wrapped myself in darkness.

Darkness is everywhere.

There is a war there.

But here, there is blood everywhere.

Blood drips from the door.

The horse was white.

The color of white is blood.

A bride wraps herself in white.

From now on, I am a bride.

Hey!

Who are you running from?

From him.
He is my brother.

Why did you run away?

They are forcing me to marry
a man I do not love.

-What is your name?
-What?

-Your name?
-Davud.

-Davud, I love you!
-What?

I love you!

They will ask you about the spirit.

Do not open your mouth
until the mountains crumble.

They will ask you
about the heart.

Do not open your mouth
until you bury your son.

They will ask you about feelings.

Do not open your mouth
until you disappear into the fog.

They will ask you
about the lover.

If you can open your mouth,
do not open your mouth.

They will ask you about me,
they will ask about love.

They will ask you about being,
they will ask you about non-being.

Do not open your mouth
if you see the sky.

What are you saying?
Who and what will ask?

Why did you stop?

Get off.

Where do I go from here?
I am afraid.

Get off.

They'll acknowledge you 'exist'
only if you help them.

They will tell you 'stay'
when you pass them by.

If you stay, they will tell you:
"Give us what you have!"

If you don't give them what you have,
they will tell you: "die!"

If you cannot die,
they will tell you: "go back!"

When you die, they will tell you:
"Tell us what you see!"

They will call it 'sky',
the world you live under.

They will call it 'world',
that which you live in.

When you die,
they will call it 'dream'.

They will call it 'light',
that sadness from your face.

"Who is your God?", they will ask.
"What is your name?", they will ask.

But you, a lonely child...

...you know nothing.

You will stay alone among people.

You will crash, and weep in a corner.

Don't be sorry.

You have a beautiful heart.

Only you have this heart.

All the mountains
will be a bridge for you.

All the love that exists,

I see...

...is here...

...now.

Do you hear that?

-What?
-Music.

I will describe the world now.

Love is here.

These places you pass, but can't see,
it is the world, the earth.

These green paths you're
walking on, are grass.

Look up.

That's the sky you see, Davud.

Love is only here, now.

What happened?

I don't know, it just stopped.

Well if you can't drive,
why just sit there?

It's an old heap, too.

It's a heap all right.
We've just wasted our time.

Get out and see what happened.

Open the hood, Gusi.

-Are you getting out too?
-Yeah.

Yeah, I'm bored.

I'm fed up.

Look at him...

What's up?
You seem lost in thought.

The Doctor told me something.

What?

It's going to stay
with me, a long time.

He said: "I know Davud's family,
he lives with his mother."

His father passed away.

And so?

It's a good family.

Davud is an honest guy.

But he upsets his mother.

Everyone's honest.

Everyone is...

God sometimes tests his
most virtuous servants with pain.

Davud loves his mother,
but he causes her pain.

He himself has been
tested by women a lot.

There was once a holy man...

...in ancient times.

There was this young boy,

...who wanted to meet this man.

He'd heard about this mighty person,
and wanted to meet him.

He went looking for him.

This man lived in a house in ruins.

With his wife.

The boy found out that
he lived in an old house.

He knocks on the door,
a woman opens.

He says: "I am looking
for the holy man."

The woman looks at him.
"What? He's a foolish man."

"He's neither a normal husband,
nor is he a holy man."

"What you've heard
about him are lies."

The boy gets upset...

He says: "I just came to see him."

"At least tell me where I can find him."

"So go to the forest."

"When you see a man
walking around aimlessly...

...you've found him."

So the boy goes to the forest.

He finds the man,
and as he approaches...

...he sees the man is riding a lion.

The lion allows him
to mount and ride him.

Really?

Then, when it rains,
he sees the tree limbs move...

...and shelter the man.

When it gets colder,
the grass wraps around the man...

...to keep him warm.

The boy comes closer and asks:
"Are you the holy man?"

"Yes, I am."

"I went to your house."

"Your wife spoke
about you quite differently."

"How did you become holy?"

"I attained this level of holiness
by acquiring patience...

...for that woman."

So he passed this test.

And attained this stature.

The car is working now.

Are you sure?

I don't know.
Let's check.

Check it.

I hope so, I want
no more problems.

We're sick of getting in and out.

Get in and sit down.

Let's get going.
It's raining.

I am fed up.

What's going on?

Indeed God's method is patience.

Patience is the greatest gift
for all human beings.

My grandfather said patience is
the greatest gift on the path to perfection.

A patient man is never lost.

Yeah, everything takes patience.

Why did you marry
if you weren't in love?

You ask childish questions, Davud.

If it were up to me,
I wouldn't marry.

You could marry and bear with it.
Maybe everything would get better.

Nothing will get better.

After you marry,
it's a lifelong brawl.

There's a woman who lives
in the village next to ours.

Her name is Ilaha.

She also married a boy
she didn't love at the time.

Now he beats her all the time.
Her face and body are injured.

She puts up with it like a fool.

Not anymore.

What?

Nothing...

I have a sister and a mother.

My sister is blind,
and my mother is ill.

I mean feeble-minded.

My father kicked them
out of the house long ago.

And now he drives me out,
in this polite way.

He doesn't know I visit them,
bring them food...

But I have nothing to give them.

Only this ring.

It's my stepbrother who's pursuing me.

Why are you telling me all this?

I don't know...

Just once in your life, you want
to tell someone about yourself.

Even if it's the last
moment of your life.

What are you going to do now?

Do you have a cigarette, Davud?

No.

I was afraid I would die
without having loved.

I am not afraid anymore.

Are you her brother?

Musa...

Did you repair the car?

Did you hear a gunshot?

Come here, we are here.

There's a fisherman's boat,

...go look for it.

Quick, let's put the corpse in the car.
People are dropping dead everywhere.

Doctor, this guy is not what we thought.

We'll catch him soon,
but we've seen many cases...

Davud seems to be
trying to save people.

He wouldn't kill anyone unjustly.

All right. All right.

Guys...

You know what just happened?

I was talking to the Doctor.

-He says no need to catch him.
-What do you mean?

The elders will gather and
"name" him a "big brother".

The Doctor says his actions were justified.

Those who died, had to die.

He did right.

Good!

The Doctor will declare this.

Davud, "named" as a "big brother"!

It fits.

Not bad.

Who has a lighter?

I have a cigarette.

-But no lighter.
-It's in the car.

Anyway, let's go, it's cold.

Let's go.

But we're stuck in the mud, right?

Good luck then!

Open up.

So we go through all this trouble...

...but he gets "named".

Look, he gets the "name" and we can't.

I encountered a bride.

In pure white.

And Death again.

Who never wears white.

Where are you?

You, whom I don't know, whom I've never seen.
Where are you?

I feel there is a place
where I have never been...

...where I belong.

Maybe I'm living in another place.

"My lover!"

I am afraid to say this word.

You, who complete me.

Who separated me from home.

Whom I belong to.

Where are you?

You are dragging me towards you
with invisible strings.

My hands are tied to yours,
my eyes are tied to yours,

...with an invisible string.

Every death is a knot on that string.

Every death pulls me closer to you.

My son?

Where is my son?

Today my son is dead.

My son, who does not exist.

How can he die
if he hasn't been born?

Today my son has died.

From now on, I am blind.

Where is your mother?

At the same place.

-Where is the same place?
-In the grave.

Who are you?

I've brought a valuable thing.

From who?

From your daugh-
I mean, son.

Why are you lying there?

My mother is lying down there,
waiting for her son...

...to come and wash her.

She wants to die clean.

Your mother has no son.

She had a daughter.
She just died.

She ran from her wedding and died.

She wanted you to have the ring.

When she died, I took it.

I will wash your mother.

Mother, leave the grave.

This boy will wash you.

The rain has already washed her.

I'll pour more water,
she will be even cleaner.

Is there a bucket here?
Is there water?

There is a shroud here.

-I'll bring water.
-There's a bucket near the house.

Where?

It is next to the house,
next to the window.

Come over here.

Let's wash you here.
You could slip.

Good.

Be careful.

What are you doing?

We're burying your mother.

I want to see my mother buried
looking my most beautiful.

Give it to me.

After we bury my mother,
will you take me to my aunt?

She lives in the next village.

I know the way from
the entrance of the village.

Don't worry, I will take you.

Wait, I will help you.

Come from this side here, there's mud.

Come closer.

Stay here.

I'll do it.
Don't worry.

Hello.

Let me bury her,
then you can kill me.

We haven't come to kill you.

The elders gathered
and "named" you "big brother".

From now on,
you are our "big brother".

Your word will be obeyed everywhere.

I do not need to be "named".

They "named" the guy
who doen't want to be named.

The Doctor is waiting for us in Baku.

Wait, after taking the girl
to her aunt, I'll come.

Come with us, then you
can do whatever you want.

No, Musa.

If Davud says it's ok...

Let's go.

-Goodbye, brother.
-But come!

He will come.

We're going to the next village.
It's not too far from here.

I know the way to my aunt's house
from the entrance of the village.

Take me there.

Don't worry.

-How long have you been blind?
-I was born this way.

We came to kill a man,

...but now we're likely to be
the ones shot in the head.

A human being can
change in a single day.

Your whole life can
change in a single day.

In a single day,
everything can change.

He changed his life, and so did we.

He rescued a person from her chains.

He made a woman kill her husband.

Another killed herself on her wedding day.

Another was buried by her daughter.

What can all this mean?

Is it easy to commit suicide?

Who can kill themselves
as easily as she did?

Everybody hopes things
will be better in the future.

That they will change the world.

But nothing happens.
Nothing changes.

None of us could kill ourselves,

...but that little bride did.

Another one bit her father.

Yet another, the quiet one,
killed her husband.

It's as if they were waiting for him,

...and once he arrived, they were free.

A single day can sometimes
contain more than a whole lifetime.

There was only one thing that
this small heart was searching for:

Your Name!

I am more intimate with Your distance,
than anything near to me.

Your darkness is lighter than any light.

All names will be erased,

...and only Your name will remain.

Your name is written on the mountain.

On the mountain!

The mountain!

Some people show their love
by torturing their loved ones.

I understood that today.

I will never forget
what a drunk man said.

He looked at his wife before he died
and said: "I believed in you."

He believed that his wife loved him.

They died from so much love.

They were all good people.

I killed for myself.

I am a bad person.

Open the door, please.

I am very hungry.

It is forbidden for me
to open the door to a stranger.

Go away.

Yours is the only light on in the village.

I have no home to go to.

I'm weak, I'm very hungry.

Thank you very much.

Who are you?

Where do you come from?
What do you seek?

I am seeking Love.

I'll speak honestly.

I won't hide myself.

I don't feel that I have
to hide myself here.

Although I have been foolish,

...and might seem to
not have taken life seriously,

I have always been asking a question,

...no matter my own foolishness.

Since I was a child.

I've always had this pain in my head.

Winding around in my brain.

Why do I exist?

Why do I live?

I didn't understand it before...

I've read so much about Love, Love.

I didn't understand.

But now I'm firmly convinced.

I know they were right,
these books, these masters.

Life has only one purpose:

Love.

Everything is built on Love.

The purpose of life,
the meaning of life.

In short, everything is Love.

To the Creature, to the Creator...

...to Life.

My mother is right.

She is always right.

"Love the Creature because of the Creator."

I only search for Love.

Hope, light.

I search for Love.

And who are you?

Why do you live here alone?

It's my home.

I had a husband.

We were married, but I never saw
his face. He left the same day.

To war.

Everyone in this village has gone.
There is no one left.

But I love my husband.

So I sit here and wait for him.

How can you wait for a man whose
face you have never seen?

I am created for Love.

I don't need to see.

Only Love exists.

Those who went off to war...

...they are dead already.

How can you wait?

What's the point of waiting?

What can a woman do but wait?

Is there anyone who waits for you?

There is.

A woman also waits for me.

From now on, I am dead.

You did not recognize me.

From now on, I am dead.

From now on, I am dead.

Why have you returned so late, Davud?

Sorry, mother.

It took me time to find your pills.

You've delayed my medicine, son.

You're not a bad person,
you can't be a bad person.

Let me get some water for your pills.

I thought you'd get home late...

...so I prepared a meal for you.

Sit down, eat.

There's no water, I'll go get some.

Aunt Halima! Aunt Halima!

Open the door, please.
It's me, Davud.

Aunt Halima, please open the door,
my mother is sick.

Aunt Fatma!
Aunt Fatma!

Zaur, are you at home?
Zaur, please open the door!

Take it and drink, mother.

Mother?

Mother.

Hey, mother...?

Mother?

Mother, I brought you some water...

Mother?