Ice Cream in the Cupboard (2019) - full transcript

You're telling me that
Exxon is shipping Christmas lights

to gas stations
in the Caribbean.

Yeah, twenty
containers is a good supply.

The... I'm parked
twenty blocks away

just to get here and...

You alright?

My man.

I hate downtown.

I know, baby boy, I know. But it's no
joke, Shanghai thinks this is perfect for her.

You promised me
some Westside shit, okay?

Fucking salad,
expense-account lunches.



- Luis...
- Yeah, yeah, we got some stuff...

Luis, if you don't know how to backup
a truck, you shouldn't be driving.

- Where did you find this donut?
- Just go home. Just go home.

- Alright.
- You're a mad dog and you're a closer.

- You got this.
- Alright, alright, alright.

- Yeah, buddy.
- Excuse me, excuse me,

- I need to talk to someone about the Exxon contract.
- Oh, yeah, I'm familiar with...

Oh, my... Uh...

- Uh...
- What are you doing?

- Uh, your nose is bloody.
- Okay.

So, the Exxon contract...

I'm not the only one who thinks
this is weird, right?

You mean 20 containers of
Christmas lights to the Caribbean?

Yeah.



I'm Pat Moffett.

Carmen Claudio.

So, do you know
where the traffic manager is at?

Oh.

So, this sweet little baby right
here, this is the Helios Triumph.

Oh, that is so cute.

This is... This is a very
respectful vessel.

Gross tonnage nine thousand
six hundred and eighty.

The average speed is ten knots.

It's the middle of summer.

If the lights make it by
Thanksgiving, I fulfill the contract.

- What about this one?
- You don't want that one.

I mean, that's...
That's practically a dingy.

You...

If you get below
the Tropic of Cancer and you...

You run into some
real serious chop.

A ship like that, that's gonna
cost you more breakage.

That's why
there's packing peanuts.

Peanuts?
Schmeenuts.

Wait, I've seen wine bottles
battered into powder,

rough seas,
not so for the Helios Triumph.

We're talking a hot knife
through butter.

- I know how ships work.
- Twenty containers to Barbados, see bunker capacity alone.

And I also know when someone
is trying to upsell me.

I have to kick you out. Sorry.

Let me take you to dinner...
to talk about the contract.

I have... I have more boats.

Girl's gotta eat.

Luis, I told you to go home.

Sorry, just tangled.

So, you're from Long Island?

Teach me how to talk
like you're from Long Island.

Um, we go to the mall,
grab some coffee,

then later we could swim in the
water and then walk your dog.

- Now I can go to Long Island. Nobody will ever know.
- Oh, they'd know.

Okay, I could not take you
anywhere.

You are gonna get us thrown out of
this fine seafood establishment.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, did you always want
to be the traffic manager?

Oh, I don't know.

I always thought
I'd be working with kids.

- You... You like kids?
- You don't?

- I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.

"You like kids?"

Okay, why don't you tell me
why you like kids.

The real reason
is kind of selfish.

I like myself.

I guess I just want more of me.

- Tell me why you hate them.
- Ugh, I don't.

- Um...
- Microphone check.

Check. Can you hear me?
Is this thing on?

Hey, well, we don't, uh, typically
feature entertainment here at Shrimps Ahoy

uh, but tonight
is a special occasion.

I never thought I'd be a father but,
you know, here I am, married into it.

So, I got this kid living on the
couch who wants to be a musician.

Anyway,
this is my stepson Darrell.

Yo.

The eloquent wordsmith,
he is.

Um, he's going to make this evening an
experience that you will not soon forget.

And, um, uh,
we're out of tilapia.

Darrell.

- Thank you, daddy-o.
- Don't call me that, Darrell.

- Do you want to dance?
- What?

This is a crab shack.

Come on, I'll talk to you
about the Panama Canal.

That's a line
I've never heard before.

The thing is,

I would really hate for all of those
filling stations in the Caribbean

to not have Christmas decorations,
you know, because the kids...

- Mm.
- Aargh.

Are you this slick
in all of your sales calls?

I don't want you to think that.

You know what I think?

I think you're really,
really, really...

What?

You're really sweaty.

♪ There is a house
In New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪

Pat, it's past midnight,
come home already.

Oh, honey, I'm so close to
closing the thing, I really am.

I'm just gonna swoop in, give them a
hearty handshake and close the deal.

I'll be home in half an hour.

Alright, Mr. Schmooze.

Do what you gotta do.

I love you.

Yeah, yeah, I love you, too.

I know that contract?

Easy, Chief.

Foreplay, my man.

We need a little bit more
negotiating here, buddy.

Yeah.

- Cheers.
- Alright.

Swing it.

Oh, so mighty!

Taxi!

You can't sleep here, buddy.

Okay. Okay. Fuck.

You got someone you can call?

Otherwise, I gotta take you
to the drunk tank.

Take me to McDonald's.

- McPlease...
- Here. Drink water.

That's not a Big Mac.

Hey.

Let's get you upstairs. Come on.

Wake up.

- Up-up.
- Feeling... I don't feel well.

Fine.

You stay here.

Oh! Hey... where you going?

I work, too, Pat... remember?

Ugh. On Saturday?

Well, why would they need you
at the school on Saturday?

Then I'm going to go get drunk.

I do what I want.

Carmen!

I'm sorry.

I made you huevos rancheros.

You're always sorry.

Ooh, thank you.

- Ah. Nice try.
- Oh, come on, man, look how hard I'm working here.

Oh, yeah. Let me see.

"Lessons we take from obstacles

can be integral
to later success.

Recount a time when you faced a
challenge, setback, or failure."

Yeah, sort of like that time I was watching
college football, but I didn't have a beer?

- Ooh.
- I did not just do that.

- Hey, guys, what's up?
- Hey.

Wow. Have you two even left
since the last time I was here?

Nope.

You know, you're eighteen...

Should you really be
drinking beer?

Uh, yeah, I should.

- Okay, wait, no.
- Mm-mm, you shouldn't be.

- Lydia.
- Oh, my...

- Oh, darn.
- Lydia. You heard from mom?

Yeah, she texted me that
she was going grocery shopping.

But that was at like, 2:30.

Hey, speak of the devil.

Or not.

Where've you been?

Getting groceries.

Maybe you could get off
your culo and help for once.

Okay.

Hey... why did you
drive by the house?

What do you mean
drive by the house?

You drove by the house once
before pulling in.

No, I didn't.

Must be someone
with a car like mine.

Another red Honda
with a tennis ball on top of it?

It wasn't me.

End of story, okay?

Yeah, very good.

They're really funny.

I'm a dad, I make jokes.

All right. So bad.

Thanks, kids.

Less texting more veggies,
young man.

Uh, yes, ma'am.

Hey, where is grandpa? He just like
rolls in late all the time now.

Oh, yeah, I taught him
how to use Tinder.

- Wow.
- Oh, is that why?

He's gallivanting.

Anyway...
what was I saying, Lydi?

Uh, you and Sharon used to be
roommates but then you broke up.

Uh, she was many things,
you know.

She will make you laugh
until your face hurts,

she was very charming,
very alluring...

She just wasn't loyal.

You know, anytime you'd show up with a
man, she'd start pawing him.

I mean, I get why men liked her,

if you saw her on the dance floor,
in two seconds you'd know why.

Can we talk about anything else?

I can't talk about my friend.

You liked Sharon.

Yo-ho!

What's up, Moffetts?

Hey, grandpa.

Oh, sweet god.

Who drank all the beer?

I'm looking at you, Dylan.

I'll get you some.

Sharon is a good roommate.

She's a hard one to read though,
you know.

Anyway, you should really
reach out to her soon.

Mom, what do you mean?

Uh, so, I think I'm officially
switching to Poli-Sci.

I mean, English is fun and all,
but it just seems like such a cliché

like I might as well major
in fry cooking at McDonald's.

It's just, you know,
I don't want you and dad

to feel like you're paying for me
to read books and twirl my hair.

And Stefanie is switching, too,
so, it'll be fun.

Mom?

Mom?

You son of a bitch.

What?

Now you wanna talk?

- Hon...
- Don't you "hon" me.

- What the fuck? Ugh.
- Stupid cheat.

- Fuck. You slept with Sharon.
- Carmen, stop it.

- What the hell are you talking about?
- You lying son of a bitch!

Cabron.

You lost your fucking mind?

I have no idea.

She say anything to you?

I mean,
she said she was in the kitchen

and they were talking about
her friend, Sharon,

like she was gonna call her
or something.

Sharon died four years ago
of an asthma attack.

I don't know why
this is coming up again.

Hey, did you cheat on mom?

Yeah.

But we were legally separated
at the time.

And does she know about it?

Yes... when we got back
together, I told her everything.

She got over it.

Alright, well, if you need
anything, just... Just let me know.

Thanks, kid.

Hello?

Yeah?

Did you really think
you could hide it from me?

- You think I wouldn't find out?
- Carmen, we were broken up.

I confessed everything.

I see you, Pat.

- I see you.
- Oh, yeah?

What do you see, Carmen?

You think about you and you
think about you and you think about you.

Why are you doing this
right now?

Is this your way
of asking for a divorce?

Fuck you, Pat.
I have a knife.

I'm gonna bury it in your chest
the next time you walk in the door.

You said she was drunk.

Yeah, not that drunk.

What about you?

What about me?

Pat, I've been
to your Christmas parties.

- Mm-hm.
- You probably weren't sipping on the Shirley Temples.

Probably not.

Well,
everything here checks out.

Little early for a physical
but it never hurts.

I am giving you
a clean bill of health, sir.

What do you think about Carmen?

I mean, look. I hate to say it,
but it could be menopause.

Hormones affect cognitive function.

Brings on lots of stress,
you know, changes, agitation.

This seems like something else.

Doesn't take an MD
to crack this one...

sounds like somebody's in the doghouse, my friend, hmm?

Yeah.

No.

I guess you won't be there to see me off.

What is it, Carmen?

Mi amor, how was your day?

You should have
done it, Bigelow.

Oh, that kind of depends
on how yours was.

Lydia told me
all the things I did.

I must have gotten so drunk
I can't remember anything.

Oh, it's convenient.

I'm so sorry, mi amor.
Please come home.

Carmen, you threatened
to stab me in the chest.

I know I overreacted.
Please, sweetheart.

Everything will be okay.
Just... Just come home.

You get scared,
you hurry, Bigelow.

But you'll be scared.

- Come home to me, Pat, okay?
- You're scared.

I think I'll give it to you
in the belly.

- I'm so sorry.
- You don't like it in the belly?

Please, sweetheart.

Hey.

Carmy.

Hey.

Hi, mi amor.

Oh.

Dylan is at his friend's house.

Hon, you must have put the food
away at lightning speed.

What?

What do you mean?

You put the ice cream
in the cupboard.

No, I didn't.

Why do you blame me
for everything?

I... I assume that you put the food
away, it wasn't the dog that did...

Leave me alone.

I have to cook.

Hello?

Yes.

Pat, there's a Barbara Viana
on line one for you?

From Lakeville Elementary?
It sounds urgent.

You can imagine
the panic that ensued.

It was not as if we've never had
a misplaced child...

It's an honest mistake.

I wouldn't be calling
if that were the only incident.

What were the other ones?

Well, uh, last week she was supposed
to order a new supply of Elmer's glue.

Monday morning,
a delivery guy shows up

with boxes and boxes
of airplane glue.

Is Carmen there now?

That's sort of why
I'm calling you now...

She didn't show up
for work today.

Two-one-three is not available.

At the tone,
please record your message.

When you're finished recording, you may
hang up or press one for more options.

Hey, Carmen, it's me.

Give me a call
when you get this.

Honey?

Where were you?

Walking the dog.

For four hours.

In the rain.

Ay de mi.

Stop exaggerating all the time.

Are you punishing me?

No, Pat.

Then tell me.

There's nothing to tell.

Tell me what I did, Carmen,
because I don't understand!

- I don't understand either!
- Well tell me something, anything,

just tell me why
you're acting so fucking weird.

I know I'm acting fucking weird
because I am the one acting weird.

It's okay.

Everything's...
Everything's okay.

I couldn't find the house.

What are you talking about?

I was walking around and around looking
for it and I couldn't find our house.

It's okay. It's okay.

You found it. You found the house.
You're home.

The dog found the house.

I am late.

I haven't had breakfast,
and now you get to witness your physician

in the shameful act
of eating a bear claw.

First impressions.

Yeah.

Ooh. Hi.

I'm Doctor Cohen.

I'm Carmen.

- Nice to meet you.
- Patrick.

Okay, great.

So, let's dive in.

Um, Carmen, I'd like to do
a little informal test,

just sort of gauge
where your memory's at.

- Okay.
- Okay?

I'm going to give you
three words,

and I ask you to recall
them later.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Alright.

Velvet, Daisy, and Red.

- Okay.
- Okay.

What state do you live in?

- California.
- And what country are we in?

United States.

Good. And starting at a 100, I want you
to subtract the number 7 until I say stop.

Um, ninety-three. Eighty-six.

Seventy-nine. Seventy-two.

Sixty-six...

Okay, good.

And what year is it?

- 2015.
- Alright.

And what were those words
that I asked you to remember?

Uh, something, daisy, red.

And what about this guy?

Who is this guy here?

He's my husband.

Alright.

Um, I understand that you've been
having some episodes of agitation.

You could say that, yeah.

Apparently, I attacked and threatened
him, and I have no memory of it.

I... guess what my husband
is trying to determine is,

what should we be prepared for?

Well, we're gonna get a PET scan
and a MRI.

And, hopefully, all this will give
us a sense of what's going on.

Oh, these are good.
You want a gumball?

♪ Carmen Moffett
You are our favorite ♪

♪ Budget administrator ♪

♪ You always have candy
On your desk ♪

♪ Oh, jellybeans, oh... ♪

Today, we all have the unique opportunity

to honor Carmen Moffett,

a school secretary and a very
dear personal friend of mine.

Last time we talked you said it
could be this, it could be that.

I feel like you're avoiding
telling me something.

Ah, it's just you had
the whole kidney stone thing.

I didn't want to burden you.

The thing is, Pop,

she just doesn't want to make
a big deal out of this.

Yeah, but everybody knows but me.
It's in the air out there.

What'd the doctor say, Pat?
Come on.

It's early onset Alzheimer's.

Is that treatable?

I don't know. They put on
something that just slows it down.

Apparently, it's more aggressive
in younger people.

How aggressive?

They said, uh, 23 and 70.

What are you fools doing inside?

You know, this party's a ranger.

I'm just going to take a piss.

The kids know?

Yeah, they know.
Look, I'm sorry.

Carmen just didn't want
all the annoying attention

and the sad emails, and flowers,
and casseroles and shit.

Yeah, that's alright.

Yeah, it's alright.

- You know I hate surprises.
- I mean, no one hates surprises.

There's some people who love
saying they hate surprises.

Tell me where we're going?

Guess.

Looks like an elevator to me. It's exactly
how I wanted to spend my retirement,

riding like a hostage in
an elevator with a strange man.

- Do you really know how to show me a good time?
- We're almost there.

Almost where?

Memory lane.

- I hate...
- Come on.

Christmas tree lights
and the Caribbean.

No way!

Yeah, it's like a photo studio now for like magazines...

Oh, my God!

I remember that contract.

Mm-Hm.

It's your lucky day,
Mr. Moffett.

Oh, I know.

I remember thinking, "Is this a date?

When did this slick salesman
guide turn this into a date?"

I totally forgot that I was even
trying to sell you something.

Mm-Hm. Mr. Modest.

No, I did. I was just enjoying
your company.

Hmm.

Remember you asked me to dance?

What?

That worked.

It did.

We should keep coming back here
for lunch forever.

Yeah, we should.

Here, you can borrow these ones.

They'll be perfect
for this dress.

- Uh, okay, uh, pony rides.
- No.

- I don't know. Celebrity?
- Mm-mm.

Hey, like Ringo. Is it Ringo?

No, Dad.

Come on, Dylan.
What is the hold up?

It's coming, it's coming.

You just... You got
to distract them a little.

Alright, I will.

Okay guys, he told us this story
like a hundred times.

Okay, Lydia, you can't keep us
in the bedroom all night.

- Alright, then come with me.
- I hope it's Ringo.

I'm just gonna...

Okay, we are ready.

- Alright, ready? Okay.
- Cool.

- Okay, alright.
- I'll give you a hint.

- Okay.
- It's, uh, cheesy, but it's romantic

and you're definitely
gonna love it.

Okay, uh, it's popcorn.

No.

About you and dad.

Lyd, you know I hate surprises.

No, you don't.
You love surprises.

I'm terrible at guessing.

- Oh, well. You're about to see.
- Okay.

- Alright.
- So, tell me.

Hold on just a second.

Alright.

Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
One minute, one minute, one minute.

- Just...
- Alright, alright.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Just wait right here.
Just wait, don't look.

Hi.

- Hi.
- How you doing?

Oh, you handsome.

Oh, you are beautiful.

- Come here.
- Look at you!

Surprise.

Oh, my God! It's him.

♪ Happy
Anniversary Mom and dad ♪

- ♪ Happy Anniversary... ♪
- He looks exactly the same.

♪ ...Mom and dad ♪

♪ You've been together forever ♪

♪ Happy Anniversary
Mom and dad ♪

Washes up on a desert island, oh,
and the only other things on the island

are a dog and a goat.

Wait, this is your first time
going to Hawaii, right?

I really want to go hike
to a waterfall.

- We have to do that.
- Yeah.

- You know they hiked barefoot out there.
- Sick.

I like your glasses.

- Well, thank you so much.
- Well,.

- That I am.
- Yeah.

Yes, and you are?

I'm a bad boy.

Oh!

- I'm going to go.
- Okay.

- So...
- They become friends and then slowly...

Carm?

Oh, honey.

We have missed you so much.

I miss you, too.

It feels like forever,
doesn't it?

How are you, sweetie?

I'm good, I'm good.

Good, good, good.

The other day,
I put on this video about coral reefs,

I look up
and he's reading some book,

some "Journey to Rainbow Island"
book.

You met a girl?

Hold on, Pop.

Sorry about it.

Hello.

Oh! You're downstairs right now.

Okay, great.
I'll send someone down.

[finger clicks[

Lyd.

Can you guys go down and get the cake?
It's finally here.

Okay, I will keep the change.

- Yeah, not quite, chief.
- Alright, I'll watch him.

It's about a girl
who's from Rainbow Island

and she has to travel on to different
places to find a set of lost crystals.

- Along the way, she overcomes challenges.
- Hey!

- Hi.
- Uh, can I borrow my wife for a sec?

Sure.

- Oh, thank you for saving me.
- Yeah.

Oh!

Pat, this is lovely.

What did you do?

Oh, you know, nothing.

This is so sweet.

When did you find the time
to do all this?

Ha-ha, all I have is time.

What are you talking about?

Mmm.

Oh! I'm so lucky.

A toast.

To the best anniversary ever.

Thank you.
It's really the best, but...

I just wish the kids were here.

What?

What are you so happy about,
Mr. Smirk?

I think I have a surprise
that you're gonna hate.

What?

The kids are gonna be here.

- Shut up!
- Gonna walk in any minute.

No, I don't believe you.

Did you drop over
the paper plates earlier?

No,
I thought you got the plates.

Oh!-.

Babies!

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, I didn't know
you were coming.

- That's... Oh.
- What took you guys so long?

What did you drive here
with your parking brake on?

Uh, no. It was...
The 10 was just really packed.

- Sorry.
- Uh, surprise!

I missed you.

Okay, everybody's here.

Can we have some freaking cake
already.

Big piece, Pop?

Oh.

You kidding?

I'm so glad to see you both.

Did you have a good drive
from school, honey?

- Mm-hm.
- Yeah, it was, uh... It was good.

It was fine.

Fine.

Are those my earrings?

Um, yeah, you... You let me
borrow them like a few weeks ago.

Carmen, what the fuck?

Oh, shit.

- Dylan.
- Yeah.

Could you please
go get me a rag...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- ... or some sort of...

Fuck!

Um, I'll go talk to mom.

No, Lyd. I'll go.

- Carmen?
- Are the kids here yet?

What year is it?

2016.

And who is the
President of the United States?

I have no idea.

That's okay.

And what is your address?

I really have no idea.

Just a couple of more questions.

How many children do you have?

Two.

And who brought you here today?

My husband, Pat.

Very good.

Carmen, Nate here
is gonna take your blood, okay?

Hi, Carmen.
We're just gonna go down the hall.

- Okay?
- Thanks, Nate.

How're you holding up, Pat?

Okay, overall. I mean, you know,
a few incidents, nothing major,

but I think the meds are really
starting to do their job.

I'm glad.

But I asked how you were doing.

Ah, I'm fine.

Well, it's my medical opinion
that you look like crap.

What? Is this your way of dazzling
me with your medical terminology?

Hey, are you sleeping?

You need to
take care of yourself.

That's all I'll say.

Thank you.

I got this.

Carmen!

Hey, Carm.

You making tea?

No, not that I know of.

How would you like a cup?

Come on, honey.

Come on, let's get some tea.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'll be right back.

Can I help you?

No, I got it.

Hey, Lyd.
Do you know where mom is?

Call me back.

Hey, Dylan.

Do you know where mom is
by any chance?

No, why?

Barbara! Hey, I'm... I'm just
calling on the off chance...

Are you with Carmen?

No, uh, the last time
I saw her was a couple of...

We had a wonderful visit.
We talked about the kids.

Get off the fairway.

- Come on, man. We got another group behind us.
- This is a public park!

You can't play golf here,
cabron.

Did she really just "cabron" me?

Sorry, fellas, this is my wife.

Your dog took shit
on the fairway, Sir.

- Are you going to clean that up?
- Give me that.

- Hon, give me the leash.
- I'm just trying to walk her.

Take your domestic shit
elsewhere.

This is a public park.
I can do it...

- Hey, what are you...
- Four!

Thank you. Goodbye.

Sayonara, senorita!

This is not going to end here.
I'm going to report you.

Yeah, bye-bye. Adios.
Have a nice day.

These are the
troublemakers here.

Yeah, take your ugly little
pug baby out of here.

They started it.

I'm sure they did, Carmen.

You're never on my side.

It's a private club, man.

So, maybe keep your dog and your
old lady on a tighter leash, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey...
Hey, look I'm, uh, really sorry.

You guys...
What is that? A Callaway?

- Is this a Callaway?
- Yeah.

- That's nice. You guys got some beer going?
- Yeah.

What the hell, man?

Yeah, I made a mistake, man.

I overslept and my wife got
lost because she has Alzheimer's.

And I can't get mad at her because I
just can't ever get mad at her again.

Ever again!
You understand? Never.

Thanks.

Dice.

Bread, um... Breadsticks.

Christmas, uh...

Christmas thing,
the Christmas tree.

Good work.

Just a couple more questions.

How many children do you have?

Two.

And who is that man
standing over there?

My husband.

Carmen, how are you feeling
throughout the day?

Okay.

No daydreaming,
no hallucinations?

Not that I know of.

Good. Wait,
tell me about your retirement?

It's okay.

And what about your weekend?
What'd you do?

Uh, we went to the Japanese
tea garden, right?

That sounds fun.

- Carmen...
- Can I use the bathroom?

Sure, of course.
I'll show you where it is.

Okay, Pat.

Can you stay over here for a sec
so we can chat?

Alright, it's right down there.

Yeah, that one right there.
Okay, we'll be right here.

How's work going, Pat?

Oh, I am on sick leave.

I know what you're doing.

You can't trick me
like you do with her.

I'm trying to get Carmen to recall
and articulate her own narrative.

Right, you made your point.

So, say what you have to say.

I think it's time for you
to consider daycare.

Uh, thank you for your opinion.

Carmen.

Carm.

Are you okay?

Mrs. Moffett.

Mrs. Moffett.

Carmen!

Carmen.

Are you ready to go, huh?

Mm-Hm.

Where are we going?

To the house.

That's not my house.

Carm, it's been a long day.

Let's go.

Please?

I'm not going in there.

Hon, I promised.

Promise what?

These people that live here that I would
walk their dog while they're out of town.

See, you want to go
for a little walk? Huh, yeah?

Uh, we can walk the dog later.
It's okay.

She wants to go now.

Carmen, we are...

We just got back
from walking the dog.

No, we didn't.

We can't walk the dog right now.

- I got to get dinner started.
- You do what you want, I'm going out for a walk.

- Carmen!
- Get out of my way.

- Carmen!
- Don't touch me.

- Carmen.
- Get away!

- Back! Back away!
- Carmen.

- Sit down. Stop moving.
- Go!

Get off! I hate you!

- Carmen!
- I hate you!

Ah, God dammit.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't do that.

I didn't do that, eh?

I would never hurt you, baby.

This is our exercise room.

We have tai-chi, aerobics,
and mindfulness classes daily.

It's the sunroom. We have art-music
therapy, expressive drawing.

Uh, we set up the, uh, ping-pong table on
Wednesdays, it's usually our cafeteria.

Um, that's pretty much it.

You guys have any questions
or...

- Um, can we just have a minute?
- Of course.

Carmen, I'll be right back
to help you get settled in.

Maybe I might hit
that tai-chi class.

This seems nice.

It's... It's, uh...
I'm glad we found it.

When are you coming back?

It's just for the day, Carmen.

I'll see you tonight.

You will?

Yeah.

I'll be here with bells on.

So, going over
the bullet points,

we have to move the product
on a monthly basis.

Cost report and analysis needs to be
determined at the end of each quarter.

Hey, buddy!

Good to see you.

As you can see, our quarterly yield
of Pat has suddenly skyrocketed.

The x-axis represents
productivity

and the y-axis represents
how much we actually missed him.

What makes you think
this is okay?

'cause it's not okay.

It's, frankly, offensive.

How mathematically imprecise
that graph is?

And what is that?
The fattest picture you could find of me.

Seriously, you chuckleheads!
What's wrong with you?

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Thank you.
- Nice to have you back.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thanks.

Moving on.

Sales and strategy
contracts and clients... Um...

So, how was your first day, hon?

Not bad.

It was good to see
some old faces.

I meant, the cafeteria.
How was the food?

Yuck!

Same old mystery
meat-type stuff.

Well, that's not good.

Well, what about, um...
Did you take any art classes?

Art classes?

It was the first day back.

First day back,
what do you mean?

Barbara had me write up
a budget.

I had to iron out bus routes,
approve lesson plans.

Ah, but you have to see
the kids, Pat.

They're so tall.

They shot right up
over the summer.

I bet they did.

Yes, we are a very entertaining
family.

Do you really think
you're going to like it?

I must admit it's more desirable
than living in a packing case on a city dump.

Oh, that's where
I met you, isn't it?

- Yes, miss.
- Oh, yes.

- Hello.
- Mr. Moffett?

Speaking.

We needed a forgotten man.

I asked you to go to
the Waldorf Ritz Hotel with me,

and I'm a little bit hazy as to
just what happened after that.

Is he okay?

I pushed you into an ash pile.

Oh, yes, of course you did.
It was very amusing.

They were nice, clean ashes.

Okay, well, thanks.
I'll make sure I get over there.

I didn't mind at all.
It was very amusing.

- Is who okay?
- What?

I heard you on the phone.

Is who okay?

Oh, it's nothing.

Mi amor, you can tell me things.

Pop's in the hospital.
He's totally fine.

He says it's a little congestion
in his lungs.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Mi amor, talk to me.

I am... Really, I'm fine.

He's an old tough guy.

He just happens to have
a little phlegm.

He'll live and so will I.

Listen to your movie.

Go eat your cake.

You
seem terribly sure of everything.

If Father hears about Godfrey, he's also going
to hear about you and that college boy.

I don't know what you're talking about.

But if Father does hear about it,
I'm likely to do a little socking myself.

Carmen!

- What's wrong?
- Hey!

Oh, baby! It's okay.

Don't touch me.

I'm not...
I'm not going to touch you.

- I promise. I just...
- Who are you?

- Carmen, it's me!
- What do you want?

- Uh, I don't want...
- Don't touch me.

Okay, I'm not going
to touch you.

- Get away!
- Okay, okay.

- Okay.
- You have to leave from here.

- It's okay, baby! Okay.
- You better leave here right now.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I will.

- What is wrong...
- My husband is going to be here.

Carmen, it's me, Patrick.
I'm your husband.

You're not my husband.

I'm your husband.

- Please, Carmen.
- I'll kill you.

Okay, okay.
You're right, Carmen.

- You're right. I'm leaving.
- I'm going to beat the shit out of you.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
I'm leaving.

I'm leaving.

- I'm leaving.
- Get out!

Okay, I'm going.

- I'm going.
- Get out!

- You're right.
- Get out!

Get out! Now!

Get out!

I said get out!

Come on.

Come on.

Honey, I'm home.

Hey, you.

Oh, I've missed you.

I thought you'd never get home.

How was your day?

Stressful.

I'm really glad to see you.

Me, too.

Hey, look at this guy.

Goddamn Granderson
for Christ's sake.

He goes for the high fastball
every single time.

You know, he's put up three times,
he's struck out three times.

I'm gonna hanker for Mookie
Wilson in the '86 Mets right now.

Oh, right.

So, how you feeling, Pop?

I feel great.

The food stinks,
but I feel good.

Yeah, watch out for that stuff.
It will put you in the hospital.

Come here.

What about if tomorrow
when you come in,

you bring me a corned beef on
rye, deli mustard, a nice knish,

and one of those full-sour
pickles that we...

Mr. Moffett,
everything you ordered

is loaded with salt
and bad for your heart.

Doc, I'm 79 years old.

We're not trying to set
a fucking record here.

I've lived a long life and I've been
eating corned beef all the way through.

And guess what,
I'm not gonna stop now.

No more corned beef!

And no more knishes.

Add an order of coleslaw to that one.

The classic Pop.

Son of a bitch.

Hell.

Okay, tell me,
how I can live as long as you,

but I'm wanna be twice as happy?

It's simple.

There's good shit;
there's bad shit, right?

And, uh, some days you find
yourself in the hospital.

Some days,
you go to the ball game,

but, basically, it's all...

It's all the same fucking shit.

Even the bad shit starts to look
pretty good when you're...

Some years down the road, you look back
on it fondly. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Tell me how she is, Patty?

Come on.

Not sick, though.

It's like a magic trick.

One second, she is there and...
And the next she is just gone.

- Hey, Julie!
- Oh. Hey, Pat!

She's actually
in a different wing today.

Oh, really?

Dr. Cohen would like
to speak with you.

She flipped over
a 93-year-old man's chair.

We got lucky,
but I am concerned.

Okay, so, um,
is it time to increase her Aricept?

We're beyond that.

I... I had a... A thought.

Um, there's a facility
called The Card Center.

And we can bring your mom
and we will observe her 24/7

and we can identify
and balance out her medications.

How long will that take?

Usually, uh, about three weeks.

It feels like...

I'm...

Like we are slipping away
from each other.

There is nothing I can do.

It's not fair
because I need you.

I can't go through this
without you.

You know, Pat,
when I get really bad,

I'll keep three words for you...

"You're really sweaty!"

]

- Ah!
- Ah-ha!

Oh, there she is, the lady!

Thank you.

Okay.

- No.
- Alright, Jackie boy, I know you're in there.

Alright, come on, Lydia. You're not
a fucking card whisperer. Let's go.

- Flip it.
- Come on to mama. Come on. Come on to mama.

- Sandwich.
- Ooh!

That must hurt so bad. What do you
have like four, five cards left?

Yeah. Well, I'm putting an end
to this brutality.

Oh, no, no, no. I won't stop until you and
your brother here are stripped of your cards

and you're toothless and maybe on welfare.
It's gonna be bad.

- Fucking Genghis Khan over here.
- Wow, yeah, that's really good parenting.

No, no, no. Lyd, sit down.

Ugh, whoa, do we want
to switch up the game?

Maybe play some Go Fish,
some old man...

You just can't crap out
whenever you feel like it.

Really, I can't?

Lyd, mom's coming home
in a week.

But is she even gonna be mom
anymore?

So, you guys good?

No. Okay. Well, I'm just gonna
pick up those cards then.

That's, uh...
It's lemon chiffon.

Hmm?

Well, I think
that's the point, Ophelia.

I know the color; it brightens
the mood of dementia patients.

What? You don't like it.

You know what,
you're colorblind anyway.

Why don't you just keep
your criticisms to yourself.

Thanks.

Yes.

- Poor horse.
- They bond over that.

Do you blame yourselves?

Makes him happy.

It does?

Mm-Hm.-

Look at the ears.
Look, the one there at the back.

When they do this.

Oh, wow!

- He loved it. Look at him, he's so happy.
- Yeah.

He's such a happy
little boy in the bubble.

But actually,
the horse is not happy. You see the ears?

It says, "I'm annoyed."

I think Travolta is happy
enough for the horse and the girl

and really everybody probably.

- Do it.
- Oh, come on.

Just... Just turn around.

"Oh, hey. Gina..."

Come on, Hoppy.

Oh, man!

- Oh.
- Oh, my God!

Alright, see. Sadly, they only care
for Bubble Boy as encircled by a horse.

Uh...

It's loco.

This trip is for him,
too, you know.

Getting a little on growing up. I feel
like he can stand on his own two feet.

Fish and chips for Carmen.

Here you go, man.

- Thank you.
- Have a good one. Have a good day.

We tried a number of
combinations and dosages of medications.

Right.

And either because of, or
in spite of these medications,

unfortunately, we've seen an
increased agitation in Carmen.

But I thought that was the
whole reason for the experiment

was to find the right combination
so we could level her off.

Pat, and, eventually, we did.

In the past few weeks, Carmen has
become a very serious threat to both,

the patients and the staff,

and in order to keep her here,
on this ward,

we've had to administer
a very severe cocktail.

So, when I get her home
I would...

We can expect her to be sedated.

Bottom line, they have to be administered
in a professional care facility.

Um, Pat. This is Dr. Danvers
and Dr. Vogel.

- Hello.
- Hi, how are you?

- Hi, Pat.
- Hi.

Doctor. They run a... A live-in
permanent care facility.

Hey, Carmen.

Hi.

Can you look at me, Carmen?

Carmen, can you hear me?

Do you remember our three words?

I love you.

Thank you.

Alright, goodnight.

Goodnight.

Bye now.

Bye.

Okay.

Okay.

Alright.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Drive safe.

Drive safe.
Oh, my God!

Oh, wait, uh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Tilapia.

Oh, it was kind of gross anyway.

Okay, uh, well.

Uh, okay.

Um, bye for real.

Goodnight.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.