Ice Cold in Alex (1958) - full transcript

'The Mediterranean
- the shores of North Africa.'

'Peaceful now - sixteen years ago
the battlefield of giants,...

.. The Eighth Army,...

.. Rommel's Afrika Korps.'

'Along its barren coast...

.. The little towns...

.. Mersa Matruh,...

.. Sidi Barrani,...

.. Salum,...

.. Tobruk,...

.. Paid for their brief fame...



.. In piles of rubble
and smoking ruins,...

.. As the grim struggle
surged to and fro...

.. Through them...

.. And the desert around them.'

'Two million men,...

.. Two million stories.'

'This is one.'

'It happens to be true.'

Hello, Paul.

Everything OK?

Only just. It's bloody down there,
dropping heavy stuff all the time.

We got the wounded off, though.
Have a drink?

Oh for heavens sake, lay off that stuff.

Why?



EXPLOSION

What the hell was that?

Ammo dump -
must be touching off our own stuff.

It'll be "Naafi and Paymasters first" any minute now,

What's the news? The men keep on asking damn
fool questions - what can I tell them?

Oh, nobody seems to know what's happening.

Oh, just tell them
everythings going to be all right.

If there's another siege it'll only be alright
for the lucky ones who get sent out on the safe road to Egypt.

If there's a siege,
you'll be one of them.

Really. You'll be out on the
town with Ariadne while I'm...

...sitting here on my
arse, being bombed to hell.

I doubt it - experience in the Army
is always the deciding factor.

I went all through the last one.
I'm the ideal bloke to go through the next one.

Well I'll damn well see you don't.

I wonder what Ariadne's doing tonight?

Tucked up warm and snug in bed
in Alexandria, I suppose.

Message from Corps HQ, sir.

Thank you, Corporal.

Evening, sir.

Evening, Anson.
I suppose those women got off all right?

I never wanted nurses here anyway. Army that
insisted - said it needed a woman's touch...

.. to make the poor devils feel
they were on the first stage of the road home.

Sit down, Anson. I'll put you in the picture.

The Gazala line's breached, but that won't do them much good. they're pinned on the wrong side of the minefield.

Our armour's taken a bit of a bashing so they're putting out to
the east, to reform and then come back and give them another crack.

In the interval, there's a chance, just a chance their
armour may get through to the perimeter here.

Another siege, sir?

Ah, we won't argue the niceties of military terms, Anson.

The point is, we're
not leaving any unnecessary stuff inside.

Your unit, less 25 ambulances, will be
ready to move east at 0100 hours tomorrow , back to Salum.

The 25 ambulances, with adequate personnel
under the command of a subaltern,...

.. Will stay under orders
of the colonel at the hospital here.

EXPLOSIONS

Well there's a thing - never a moment's
peace, never a moment's peace

Take a man going to the latrine...

- perfectly natural thing to do -
then this happens.

No wonder they get constipated!

I feel like a drink - how about you?

Thank you, sir.

These men who are staying behind
- how are you going to detail them?

The unmarried men, sir - put all their names
in a hat and pull out as many as I need.

Of course, I'll stay myself.

Nonsense. Your job's with the bulk
of the unit, not leading little detachments.

How about the big chap,
what's his name, Crosbie?

I'd rather leave one of the subalterns, sir.

Crosbie went through the last siege.

All the better. He'll know what it's all about,
and he doesn't looks as if he has a nerve in his body.

Yes, sir, I know that sir, but I do feel...

That's settled, then.

Yes, sir. Then I'll leave with the bulk
of the unit, 0100 hours.

No, I want you to wait, pick me up here at first light
and drop me at Corps HQ.

My car was blown up this morning
outside my own blasted front door.

Sir.

EXPLOSIONS

Eh, look, sir, I wonder if...

.. Would you mind
telling Crosbie yourself?

All right.

Thank you, sir.

Capt Anson's just come back, sir.

Close that ruddy blackout! >

Sorry, sir.

Now if you'd done that inspection properly, Corporal...

.. It wouldn't be necessary for a warrant officer to have to get under here and show you how to do your job.

You finish off now.

Fresh oil in the sump, remember.

And if you ever fail to report a fall in oil
pressure again you'll be for it, m'lad.

Switch out the light.

Paul?

Look... I... I tried to fix it, but
the Brig just wouldn't wear it.

You fixed it all right

Hello, Sgt Major
- sit down, have a drink.

Thank you, sir.

These 25 ambulances that we're
leaving behind. You're making sure they're the best, eh?

Yes, sir. There was a call
for an ambulance to go to the docks.

So I sent one
that was being left behind.

I'm sorry,...

.. I'm pretty well pooped out.

You've had just about enough, sir.

Of that?

Of everything, sir. Look sir - everyone
knows exactly what they've got to do.

Why don't you get some sleep, sir?

Crosbie.

I'll talk to Capt Crosbie, sir.

Well, whatever you do, don't forget
to put that in the Humber.

It can go with your precious set of tools
in the back.

Sir?

Yes, you're coming out, too.

I'd rather stay behind, sir.

You... are coming... out.

You lie down, sir, just for an hour.

I'll call you when
the main column's ready to move off.

Come on, sir, come on.

Mr Pugh, you forgot that box of mine
- fetch it!

Right, sir.

I've come to say goodbye, Sgt Major - Well, I see you've got everything laid on for this party.

We'll be seeing you again very soon, sir.

I doubt it.

Well, so long, Paul.

Remember me to Ariadne
when you get to Alex.

Let's go, Sgt Major.

You right bastard!

What devil are you doing here, Corporal?

Guarding the ladies, sir.

Ladies?

Two got left behind last night
when the nurses was evacuated.

Morning, ma'am.

Good morning. We're a bit of a problem aren't we!

Why?

I'd never been in any real bombing before.
I lost my nerve and ran away, the boat sailed without us.

All our kit's on board.

That's the least of our worries.

Come on, Ponseby hurry up. That stuff should be
loaded by now. Morning, Mr Pugh.

Good morning, sir.

Captain Anson. Sister Murdoch, Sister Norton. Capt Anson'll take you
into Egypt and then arrange transport to Alex.

Your trouble!

We'll try not to be more trouble than necessary.

Right. Sgt Major, you drive the
ambulance and follow us to Corps HQ.

Right, sir.

EXPLOSION

Get over, man, get over.
Keep to the side. Over, man.

Get over, into the side. Over.

We're at Corps HQ - at least we would be if
it hadn't gone. Won't be a moment.

Look Anson, now Corps gone I'm in a hurry
- can't trundle along with you.

Yes, sir, but I...

Ponsonby can drive me. You can drive, can't you, Ponsonby?

Yes, sir.

Well come on, get in man. I don't like to be too far behind the Corp commander. I t isn't comfortable.

What about our kit, sir - shall we off-load it?

Good god, man, I'm only borrowing the car
- you'll get it back tonight.

Don't just sit there, Ponsonby,
get going. Come on, man, GET GOING!

Old Dangletoes is standing up.
Waving his ruddy cap at 'em!

I bet he's giving them hell
in that foul German of his.

My tool kit!

My whisky.

It's all right, Denise.

Its starting again. I can't stand it!

Lie down on the floor
and pack the blankets round you.

Alright!

Let's go, Tom.

Sorry, old boy, you'll have to turn back.
I'm blowing that bridge.

Don't be a bloody fool. I've got to get
through, there are two nursing sisters in there.

I've got direct orders from Corp to get them back to the delta.

I don't care if you've got the Archangel Gabriel
inside - that bridge is blowing up, so get back.

Get going, Tom.

I shouldn't if I were you.
Agt Major, you've got 15 seconds - SO LET'S GO!

Back off sideways. The blast on the windscreen.

Lie down on your faces - there's going to be a big bang. >

Take it easy.

You'd better get weaving
- you've had it. Good luck.

Thanks. Okay, Tom, I'll drive.

Right, sir.

That was the bridge
over the tank trap being blown up.

What do we do now?

Only two things we can do.

Take you back to the hospital. It's only dair to warn you there's going to be a siege,
or have a crack at crossing the minefield.

I think we better take you back to the hospital.

What will you do then?

Have a bash at the minefield.

LET ME OUT. I MUST GET OUT, PLEASE LET ME OUT!

We'll come with you.

Dames and mines - lovely party.

See if she needs help will you.

Right, sir.

Let me out, let me out...

Let me out, let me out!

Sorry. I've got brandy in my bag.

Want some?

After you, miss.

What about Capt Anson?

No, miss.

Why not?

Well, it'll be better if you don't. You see, well I've been up and
down the desert with him five times in all.

He's never spared himself,
or us, for that matter.

There are plenty of men alive in hospitals
today who owe their lives to way he's driven our outfit.

Then some weeks ago he was captured.

Oh, he escaped all right, but
he had a hell of a time getting back.

Two nights walking,
lying up in the day, no water.

He should have had a break -
I reckon he's just about driven himself to a standstill.

And he's trying to lace himself up
with drink?

That's about it.

Maybe he just likes the taste.

Don't worry, I won't give him any. I
won't even let him know I've got it.

Petrol Point!

How are things in the back, Tom?

Sister Murdoch's given her
an injection and she's out cold now, Sir.

Right, well we'll need about eight cans to be on the safe side.
Let's start getting them shall we.

Right, sir. >

Hey!

Hey, Captain!

Can you tell me where I can grab a lift, huh.
To get the hell out of here?

Where do you want to go?

The delta - I want to get back to my own unit.

I've only been been lent to 2nd Div Signals,
Hell, I can't do them any good now.

Oh man, I don't intend to get put in
the bag here when the balloon goes up.

Well you can't out by the road anyway.
- they've blown the bridge over the tank trap.

Well, where are you going?

I'm going to have a bash
at crossing the minefield.

I'd like to come with you, man.

Sorry, no. Can't be done. Got a couple of
nurses in the back. Got to get 'em to Alex.

Besides, you'd be extra weight, a lot of extra weight,
and we're short on rations and water.

I can pay my way.
I've got a thousand cigarettes...

.. And, er, three bottles of gin.

Export or Naafi?

No, only the best, man, from South Africa.

Well,... ah, I daresay we can,
er, do with another hand to push.

Okay, I'll take you. My name's Anson.

Van der Poel.

Can I see your identity card?

Sure.

Thanks.

Er.

This is my Sergeant Major, Mr Pugh
- Captain van der Pole.

"Van der Pooel".

Good morning, sir.

The captain's coming to push.

Yes, sir, another four jerry cans
and I think that'll be the lot, sir.

Good. Well start loading as soon as you're ready.

Right, sir.

Getting hot, isn't it?

Yes. Like a drink?

Why not? Got a couple of mugs
in the cab.

What's happening?

There's a South African officer's coming with us,
and he's feeding the captain on gin.

What's this, a party?

No, just one for the road.

I thought the first part of the road was through a minefield
- is that the usual kind of training?

You know, the lady's right.

Let's get cracking, shall we?

Would you mind getting inside?

What's the matter with her? >

She got into a bit of a panic
and we had to give her some dope.

That's the lot, sir.

Right.

Here you are, man, catch!

(LAUGHS) And again!

And again!

And again!

Hey! Hup!

Hup!

And hup!

LAUGHS

Hey, man!

What's our chance
of getting through the minefield?

Even money. I used to know the track. That was two years
ago - they may have re-mined it.

Well, once we get through...

If we get through!

Alright, if we get through
- what happens if we run into any Germans?

Well they can't be around the whole of the perimeter
- there must be gaps.

Just hope we strike one.

Well if we don't we may have to talk our way out.
Either of you speak German?

No.

I do, I worked with them
in SW Africa. And what about the girls?

Haven't the slightest idea. Let's get through the
ruddy minefield first, shall we?

There can't be much danger
if we stick to the tracks.

Well the tracks are pretty faint.

I think I'd better walk the whole way like that in sections.

Now you follow with the ambulance, Sgt Major,
keep at least ten yards behind, and watch the turns, ey.

Right, sir.

But it'll take hours, man.

Right, it'll take hours.

Look if I take the other track
it will halve the time, won't it?

Yes, but I... I can't ask you to do that.

You're heavier than I am, for one thing.

Listen. A Springbok can go where
any bloody Englishman can.

Alright. Watch for any places where the ground's fallen in or the marks of the tyres
are interrupted.

If see anything you're not sure of, give me a shout and I'll hop over. And if you do feel something,
just stay put. These mines are live.

Sure, sure, Captain.

You take that one.

We're going in, now.

Come on, man,
we want to get through before dark.

We want to get through, don't we?

We're still in the minefield
- you get back, miss.

I can't see anything
through those small windows in the back.

That's the trouble, you can't,
unless something happens!

Well. Which is it?

This way, of course. The track goes straight on.

I don't agree.

I think that's the real one, over there.

Well, I'm going to try this way.

You stay where you are! I don't give a damn
if you blow yourself up. I'm trying my way first.

There's something under my foot.

Don't move.

Now, lift your foot up gently.

Sorry, no beans in it - souvenir.

You've a funny sense of humour,
Captain.

Well that should take him down a peg.
Serve him right, too.

Are all South Africans like that?

He's Afrikaans
- Dutch - haven't met many myself.

But Capt Anson was with them for a time.
He says they were a decent enough lot.

We're nearly through.
You'd better get back.

Bombers!

Heading this way. >

Don't worry, we're not the target.

They're after the minefield.

Man, I don't believe
there's a ruddy mine for miles.

Don't you?

Captain? I think I owe you a drink.

Thanks.

All right, Tom, don't stand there
with your tongue hanging out.

They blasted a way through for their
armour - let's... get cracking, eh?

God!

For God's sake, sir,
you'll break the springs!

Shut up!

If you don't stop they'll open fire.

Stop, here!

Get off!

Stop, stop, she's been hit!

Stop, you fool, stop.

Get out of it!

What the hell are you doing?

Better hide our guns - they're funny
about armed troops on ambulances.

Now let me handle this.
Neither of you speak a word...

.. Except to me.

Sei vorsichtig!

Sorry, Tom, I made a bog of it.

Pop inside and see what's happened.

Give me that bottle of gin. If we're going inside I'll drink the whole ruddy lot
before they get over here. C'mon, give it to me.

How is she?

She'll be dead within an hour.

Are you sure?

Isn't there anything we can do?

Nothing anyone can do. I know.

Who... kicked... me?

What's going on outside?

They've got us in the bag.
Capt van der Poel's talking to them now.

What will they do, send us back?

They won't do that. Not now we know they're here.

There's just a chance, though,
they may let us go on,...

.. Rather than take us in
with escorts and all that.

Look, if you're so sure she's er...

.. Might be better not to tell Jerry.

They're more likely to let us go on
with someone wounded than...

Tom, they're coming back.

"Durchsuchen Sie"

He wants to search the ambulance.

The captain says
he bitterly regrets this accident.

If we'd stopped as we ought to have done
he would've never have opened fire.

Wie geht es ihr?

He wants to know how she is.

Abdominal wound. It's not serious.

But we ought to get her to hospital.

Kleine Magenwunde, die aber im
Krankenhaus behandelt werden muss.

Sagen Sie der Krankenschwester,
dass ich den Wagen durchsuchen werde.

He's going to search.

Ich werde gleich
Ihre Geschichte pr?fen.

Nat?rlich. Tun Sie das.

What is it?

I have to get some more dressings
- will you stay with her?

Is there anything I should do?

No. No, just be near.

Captain van der Poel, will you ask if
they have any spare large wound dressings?

I've used all ours.

Sure.

Cigarette?

Thanks.

How is she?

She'll be all right.

Na... na... Nazi...

Here you are. They're sorry
they can't spare any more.

Thanks.

Man, I think we've pulled it off.

She was talking quite a bit at first,
then she tried to get up and said something.

She's dead, Tom.

Also, sag' es ihnen.

She's sleeping.

Captain says he ought to put us all in the bag...

.. But as the nurse is wounded
he's going to let us go through.

Sprechen Sie Englisch?

Nein.

I'm afraid the girl's gone.

If he knows that he'll tell them
and that'll be our lot.

Why have they got Capt Anson?

To make sure we follow them
till they get us clear of their troops.

Then they'll give us the captain back
and turn us loose.

Cigarette?

No thanks.

Tom?
Yes, please. Light me one, will you?

Thank you.

Capt van der Poel,
can I ask you something?

Mmmm?

It's about Capt Anson.
He's had rather a bad time recently.

Been drinking heavily.

Probably screaming for one right now,
but we rely on him for navigation and...

Please don't give him any.

Phah! What do I do if he asks?

He won't. Just help him.
Keep it out of sight.

O... kay... if I want one
I'll just go off by myself.

Bleib hier mit Kapitaen Anson.

Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann."

Kommen Sie mit mir, bitte.

He wants to know how she is.

Still asleep.

Sie schlaeft noch.

Geh so weg.

Hals- und Beinbruch!

What did he say?

Good luck.

Sure it's all right?

Yes.

If I know anything about Driver Grimes, he'll have enough tea
tucked away to start a cafe.

Aha - half full.

Can I do anything, man?

Thank you, sir, would you get the fire going and I'll start opening the rations.

That's for the water, sir.

Here you are, sir.

The spade for the sand.

Sand?

Sorry, sir. I thought all South African
troops brewed up the same as we do.

Don't worry, sir, I'll do it.

Would you get water and petrol?

Time to wake the captain.

Well, take it, it's hot.

Captain Anson, Captain Anson.

What's happened?
Why have we stopped?

Nothing's happened.
We've done the twenty-one miles.

Thanks.

There's an awful wind's started,
blowing the sand all over the place.

Yeah, it usually does when you start to brew up.

We didn't want to tell you
till you'd had some rest.

I can't write this one off.

You couldn't help it.

No?

I'm a drunk, you know that, don't' you?

You were trying to get us away.

Don't make excuses - I don't want them.

I'll tell you this...

- the next drink I have
is going to be a lager,...

.. Ice cold.

There's a little bar in Alex,...

.. With a marble-topped counter
and high stools,...

.. And they serve the best beer
in all the Middle East.

When we get through with this lot,
I'll buy you one.

Buy you all one.

Come and have some food.

It'll be dark pretty soon, Tom.
I think we'd better get on with it.

Build a cairn up there as a
marker. We'll bury her in the morning.

I'll wake van der Poel
and get him to lay on the grub.

Right, sir.

If it's not too much trouble, could you
get your can off there and start to brew up?

Hello.

How's it going?

Ach, man, you wait. I tell you,
I'm a good cook.

We'll let you know later.

Did I, er, tell you I was attached
to your division for a bit?

Were you? When?

Er, let's see, oh around about last September.

I wasn't with them then.
I only came up six months ago.

Well I expect some of the blokes
on Supply are still the same,...

.. And, of course, old Dan Pinnear.

Jan Pinnaar - he's a character.

I wonder you could understand him though. He's so Afrikaans, he can hardly speak a word of English.

Oh, we managed.

Then there was... er, the colonel...

.. In Supplies... Colonel... er...

.. Kramer?

Kramer?

No, surely he was with Ordnance.

It was Colonel Maggs with Supplies.

Yes, of course, that's right. Maggs.

Smells good.

Thanks to "Katie's" driver, our Mr Grimes, the biggest
scrounging so-and-so in the whole unit.

He'd get everything but the kitchen stove stowed away...

- spuds, onions, steak and kidney
pud, the lot... all gone in with the bully.

Man, that was good.

Now, we'll have to have a watch.

Let's see, there are three of us.

Four.

All right.

Er, well...

You two can take the first shift till 12:30
and then you and I'll take over till the first light.

That'll give us four hours each.

We should be about six and hit the old
track near Piccadilly by sundown.

Well, then it's just a cakewalk to Sidi Barrani.

Wouldn't it be as well to wait to daybreak,
see who's in Sidi?

You mean Jerry? Hell, man,
Barrani's halfway to Alex.

Well, it's your party.

Where's he going?

You, er... tell her, Tom.

Well, in the desert, you never ask anyone
where they're going with a spade.

That's common to both sides.

What's he taking
that ruddy great pack for?

Well, I think there's something phoney about him, sir.

You weren't there when we brewed up at midday, I asked him to make a fire. He
hadn't a clue.

Well, he probably always
had somebody to do it for him.

But he must have seen it done
- you'd think he'd...

Look we'd better get some rest
- douse the fire, will you?

G'Night, Tom.

G'night.

Don't think me stupid but
- I can't bear to see her covered up on a night like this.

I didn't know her very well, really.

She was rather a silly little thing,
awful flirt,...

.. Not even a very good nurse.

But I feel worse about this
than anything that's ever happened.

You feel bad about it?
How the hell do you think I feel?

It's done, man,
no use accusing yourself.

Play around with war,
these things happen.

What do you keep in that pack?

Gin.

Want some?

Time to wake up, Tom.

Capt van der Pole?

Van der Pooel!

What is it?

The blasted pump! I thought it was
leaking, so I put the tin underneath.

Look it's half full already.

It's the washer. It's crumbling. We haven't got a replacement - if I try
tightening it up, may break up all together.

What happens then?

No washer, no pump, no engine,
nothing.

Hit rock. Think we'll have to start all over again
somewhere else.

Solid rock, sir? >

No, no, it's a layer. Pretty thick one.

Here, give me that thing.

I'll carry on, now
- the rest'll be easy.

You haven't got an indelible pencil
or anything like that, have you?

No.

I've got a pen, sir.

What about my lipstick?
It's meant to be waterproof.

That'll do fine.

"The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not want."

"He maketh me lie down
in green pastures."

"He leadeth me
beside the still waters."

"Yea,...

.. Though I walk through
the shadow of the valley of death...

.. I shall... I will fear no evil."

"Thou preparest a table for me...

.. In the presence of my enemies."

Vortreten!

Nur einer vortreten!

He wants only one of us.

Vorw?rts, schnell!

Schnell, komm schnell.

Halt. Nehme die Waffen ab.

We won't get away with it this time.

Lass mal sehen!

Ihr beide, mitkommen.

Nehmt ihnen die Waffen weg!

We have to give up our guns.

I told you, they're funny
about armed troops on ambulances.

Komm!

I've got some bad news
- Tobruk's fallen.

I don't believe it.

I don't think he believe us either, and
it's up to him whether we go in the bag or not.

He can't call his HQ for instructions
- they've got wireless silence imposed.

Schreiben Sie das auf.

Gehen! Das Africa Korp bringen keine Frauen
auf das Schlachtfeld.

Sie sollten das auch nicht.

He says we can go, that the Africa Korp
don't bring women into the battle area...

.. And we shouldn't either.

He says we must go much further south.

They're armour's through to Maddalena already, and
will've cut off Mersa Matruh in two days.

I don't believe a ruddy word of it.

He says we must start straight away.

All right, let's get going.
What the hell are we waiting for?

Well, you got us out of another jam.

Man I don't know how I did it - he was a bastard.

Well, with Tobruk gone, I suppose they've more to do than round us up.

I don't believe Tobruk's gone.

Anyway, it seemed to me as if
you were telling him what to do.

That's the only way to handle these bloody Nazis.

Kick 'em in the guts first
before they have a chance to kick you.

Tom, just in case that young Jerry
was right,...

.. I think we ought to cut further east, bypass Matruh and make for the Garawlah track

But that'll take all of three days, sir
- what about the pump?

Well, what's the water situation?

About 14 gallons in all, sir.

But the pump'll use nine or ten of that.

That doesn't leave much for us, eh?

What about Bir Beyli, sir? That's only 15 miles south of here. We should find enough water for the pump there.

God, I hadn't thought of that
- let's have a look at the map.

There she is - Bir Beyli.

Well, we've dug it out before.
I suppose we can do it again.

How far down's the water?

Five, ten, maybe fifteen feet.

We have to dig to find out.

Tom, we'd better go down in one corner. See if it gets damp.

Here, take a mouthful.

Just rinse it round and spit it out.

Don't swallow,
it'll make you thirstier than ever.

Scarcely damp and as salty as hell.

We ought to talk this thing over.

Now look, we can go on trying
to dig this ruddy thing out...

- heaven knows how long it'll take,
and we may not find water in the end.

Meanwhile we'll be using up what we have got.
Now, we've have three alternatives - look we're here.

Now first of all, we can cut straight up
to Mersa Matruh.

But if our Jerry chum's right, well the Germans are going to be there first

Now, second, we can take the longer but safer
camel route round here on the top of the Depression,...

.. And then cut up the Garawla track.

But that's all of 270 miles, best of three days,
and we may be damned short of water.

What's the third alternative?

Well, the third alternative
is to come straight down to the Qara oasis.

There's a dump there, the Long Range Desert Group uses. I, I know about it.

We can fill up with water and petrol
and then, er, well then cut straight through the Depression.

The Depression, sir?

Well you needn't look at me as if I've made an improper suggestion! We've
done it before. I know, sir, but that was training.

With light stuff
- there was aircraft to look after us.

But alone, and in this crate, we'd never make it.

You remember that jeep,
she went down like a submarine?

Well, of course I remember.

What is the Depression?

It's a salt marsh below sea level.

It's about 200 miles long, like an oven,
and Katy'd boil all the way.

It's liquid underneath, with sort of a dried crust on top, rather like a mouldy rice pudding.

There is a track of sorts...

.. But as Tom says,
if you do go through, well,...

.. You've pretty well bought it.

Katy weighs all of two tons, remember.

So what?

Well, there are the alternatives.

What's it to be?

I'm all for the Garawla Track, sir.
I'll keep that pump going somehow.

I agree with him. The Depression
isn't even an alternative.

Okay, the Garawla Track it is.

Bones.

Ran out of water, I suppose.

STOP, SIR, A SPRING'S GONE!

Pull up, man.

Be sure and make them
absolutely firm, sir.

They'll have to take whole weight of the ambulance when I pull the jack out.

Why all this messing about with piles of stones?

Can't we just hold her on the jack?

No, sir, we should have two jacks.

We've only got one - So we'll have to do it this way in order to ease the new spring in position.

Right, stand clear, sir,
I'm going to let her down.

Look out, she's going!

Hold her, just for a moment! Just hold her for one
second, sir! Go on, hold her, sir!

Hold her, sir.

Hold her!

That's the most wonderful
bloody effort you'll ever see.

Yes.

He must have taken all of a ton
on his back.

Get me the water bottle.

Right.

You know if he hadn't held her up,
she'd have cracked down hard on her back axle and smashed it.

Then we'd've just kept on walking
till our water ran out.

Here.

We'll have to get him into the shade.

I'll get a stretcher.

No, don't need a stretcher. Here, give
me a pull up. I'll be all right.

Now take it easy,... easy.

Look out - Aircraft!

It's all right, it's one of ours.

"Jerry's advanced armour
beyond Sidi Barrani."

"Our troops falling back
towards Alamein."

"Do not, repeat, not
attempt coast west of Darba."

Darba? I can't believe it.
That's only about 100 miles from Alex.

That means Jerry's way ahead of us already.

What do we do?

Well, unless you want to spend the rest of the war in
a prison camp, what I suggested this morning...

- south to the Qara oasis
and through the Depression. Any objections?

Good, carried unanimously.

And tomorrow, or the day after, when we're
bogged down to the axles,...

.. The water's gone, and we're alone
in 1,000 sq miles of mud,...

.. You can all spit in my eye.

All right, Tom, let's get going shall we
- don't want to be here all day.

Would you like to go in the back?

No, no thanks. I... I feel better
now, but I'd like a drink, though.

Huh! A real drink.

I'll get it.

NO! I'LL DO IT!

Thanks very much.

You like some? No?

Hah!

Bang on time.

Very regular habits.

This afternoon,
when I got van der Poel his pack...

.. It was heavy, too heavy
for just a few bottles of gin.

Then when I tried to open it for him,
he wouldn't let me.

Now listen, both of you from time to
time have complained about van der Poel.

Alright, here's the chance to get it all
off your chests... well, Tom?

Well I think he's phoney, sir. He hasn't a clue
how to make the fire,...

.. Yet all South African troops
brew up the same as we do.

And, why... well why does he always go
to the latrine at exactly the same time?

Perhaps he's been well brought up.

Diana?

I agree with Tom. I never liked
the man, but it's more than that.

There is something phoney.

Where are you going?

Just for a walk, sir.

Well?

I think I saw something, it was only for a second
and the light was bad -...

.. But it looked like a transmitter mast.

Are you sure of that?

No, I'm not sure, but, well,
he certainly didn't use the spade.

Maybe he changed his mind.

OK. Supposing you two are right and he is a spy.

What do you suggest we do? Knock him over the
head and leave him here with his gin?

No but if he has a transmitter, surely we should stop
him sending information back to the Germans.

Well, what information has he got to send?

Then why does he risk using it every night?

Wel he has to keep in touch with his HQ.

He may need to get through to them damn quickly, but that's assuming he is a spy and he has a transmitter in his pack.

Now just remember, he saved us once already,
and we may need him again.

Let's leave it like that for the moment.

Could do with a shave,
couldn't you, Tom?

Yes, sir.

We'll push on a bit further before
it gets dark - you take a turn in the back.

Okay.

We'll find out at Qara
- meanwhile, forget it.

Okay, Tom, I'll see about the tin.

We're stopping here for the night.

Will there be British troops at Qara oasis?

We won't get there
till tomorrow afternoon.

By that time we're just as likely
to find Jerry there.

Yeah, at the rate they're going,
anything could happen.

There you are - Qara oasis.

Now we can get that water and petrol, Tom.

Well there doesn't seem to be anybody about,
sir.

I'll scout around a bit, Tom.
You watch the ambulance.

Right, sir.

Moya, moya.

Khamsa. Khamsa moya.

OOLA E GEHEENA!

English, okay,... English.

A teesh em taheena. Ra ha feen?

We come from Tobruk - go, er... go
Alexandria. We want water, petrol.

Ha de mush tareek.

Oh, hell! Listen, we want water, petrol.
See, we've got money. How much money you want?

Ma tesh tun nesh!

This clot doesn't understand English.
Sorry old boy, but I had to make sure and

this clot had some difficulties
to understand your Arabic!

Good God! Who are you?

Oh, just stooging around, old boy.
May I see your papers, please?

Yeah. You belong to the garrison here?
No, they pulled out this morning.

The Germans are coming down here in strength - I'm just here to
help them on their way by sugaring the petrol down!

Well, for Pete's sake let us have some
before you do it, will you?

How do you think you you're going to get away?

The Germans will be here in 3 hrs and they're miles ahead of you along the coast.

Across the Depression.

- In heavy crate like yours?
- Uh-huh.

Yes, I suppose it is your only chance!
Do you want a lift?

I'd be charmed,
but unfortunately I've an previously engagement.

Better see about that petrol.

It's a pity it's so late. You won't get far into the Depression tonight
I shouldn't try driving on it in the dark, if I were you.

Here we are ladies and gents,
on the old camel road...

.. Which all the ruddy fools since Alexander
the Great has taken to Alex.

You'll have to stop, sir, look
she's boiling.

Tom, quick!

Give me a hand, sir.

Go on, give him some more.

What the hell? He's a brave man.

Not again, man
- this is the sixth time.

It's not the radiator.
The light's going.

Surely you can do
another couple of miles?

Sorry, I won't risk it in the dark.

Sorry I folded up on you.

There you are, sir.

Oh, thanks, Tom.

Feel better now?

Well apart from a splitting headache
and a mouth like the bottom of a parrot cage, I'm fine, thanks.

Wish we'd got on a bit further - it's
the lowest part of the whole issue.

I dunno - looks pretty firm to me.

Well, it isn't
- we're sitting on top of a ruddy jelly.

We'll be lucky she doesn't bog down
in the night.

I've put her on the sand mats, sir, just in case.

Now listen, nobody is to move a foot
off the tracks - understand?

Okay.

Douse the fire Tom.

What are you going to do?

Well, if he is a spy, he's got something to signal about tonight. Our chaps at the oasis.

So we're going to try and catch our South
African friend with his pants down.

He can't be far along the track.
We'll take the louvres of the lamps.

You get in the cab, Tom. When
I give the signal, switch on.

Now!

Over to the left, Tom.
Turn out the lights.

Switch on.

Over to the right.

Go back, Tom.

Hard down right.

Now hard over left.

Now forward.

Stop - hard down right.

Now hard over left.

Stop.

Hard down right.

Now forward.

I'm trapped!

Tom, quick, he's in trouble,
get the sand mats.

Another mat, quick.

Get the tow rope.

Give me something else
- a shirt, anything.

Hold on, hold on.

Throw it to me, man.

Throw it to me. Hurry,
I'm being sucked under.

Grab hold, grab hold.

Pull. Pull.

Hang on, man.

Pull!

Aaargh!

Hurry!

Get the ambulance.

I'm cant, I can't stop.

For God's sake...

Diana?

Get in!

But I, I can't drive.

It's all set, When I give you the signal,
just let the clutch out gently.

Don't let me go...

You go round the other side.

That's enough.

Get water, gin.
There's some in his other pack.

Give him a drink.

He's unconscious,
but he'll be all right.

You saw what was in his pack?
He is a Nazi.

Diana, get in the ambulance. We'll
bring him round, you can clean him up.

Use petrol, we can't spare water.

How is he?

He's very exhausted. I given him a sedative.

Tom, This can't have done the track any good.

Better get out of here as quick as we can.

We'll shall soon have to have another halt, sir,
or she'll be boiling again.

Tom, can't we get on?
She must be cool by now.

We'll have to leave her
a bit longer, sir.

I... I want to say something
about last night.

I want to apologise.

I should've done like you told me,
stuck to the track.

Oh, skip it.
Afraid you lost your shirt, though.

And your pack.

Why did you do it?

Do what?

Turn on the headlamps.

Heard a noise,
thought you might have gone in.

We weren't far wrong, were we?

No,...

.. No, you weren't.

Thanks.

Anyway you'll be able to dine out on this
story for weeks, won't he, Tom?

He certainly will, sir.

I'll go and top her up now, sir.

How much further
till we get out of this?

Oh, I reckon about another 80 miles.

Shall we get out tonight?

No, we're through the worst bits, though.

Well, let's get started, shall we?

What are you going to do about him?

Nothing, yet.
He thinks he's safe with us.

We'll let him go on thinking that,
for the moment.

Man, this heat.

Yeah.

Doesn't seem to bother old Tom much,
does it?

Well,...

.. This time tomorrow...

...our little party
will have broken up.

What's the first thing you'll do
when you get to Alex?

I told you - that beer.

It's so ruddy cold there's a sort
of dew on the outside of the glass.

And then?

Then I'll pull the chain six times
just for the sound of running water.

Someone waiting for you?

Well, it's...

.. It's all rather complicated.

Tell me.

Paul Crosbie,
character in my unit,...

.. We took our leaves together,...

.. And in Alex last time...

.. We got rather caught up with somebody.

What's her name?

Ariadne.

And you're both in love with her?

That seemed to be the idea.

Where is he now?

Paul? In the bag, I'm afraid.

One of us had to stay behind
in Tobruk.

I'd no choice
- he thought I was ratting on him.

Now you think
you might have an unfair advantage?

What do you think?

I think you don't understand women.

I don't.

She'll know what she wants.

If it's Paul, nothing you do
will make the slightest difference.

And if it's you,
I think you should know by now.

Like a judge's summing up
- sound, logical, cold as hell...

.. And probably right.

Do you always know what you want?

Always.

We'll be on top in a few minutes.

The track up is just over there.

What's the matter?

It's this slope -
the wind's blown deep sand drifts over it.

Think we'll have trouble getting her up.

If we don't get her up, we'll be
stuck down here like ants in a jam pot.

Isn't there any other way?

'Fraid not.

Look, c'mon let's try and belt her up it. You drive, Tom.

Right, sir.

Wait for my signal. Come on, you two.

Okay,... she should be going well by here.
We can move over and give her a good shove if needed.

Man, she hasn't a chance, not on this sand. She'll bog down.

She won't if we do what I say. TOM? TOM?

There, what did I tell you?
Like a ruddy dose of salts.

Hold her!

What did you expect, man,
on this slope!

It's madness - we'll never get her up.

We'll take her up on the mats,
6ft at a time. You two, start digging.

But you've got the spade.

We've only got one. Use your hands.

You know what's going to happen?

We're going to stick halfway
and then we won't get her either up or down.

Get out, get out of it, out of it.

Don't just stand there like a Hyde Park
floosie wondering how she's going to get through the winter - get round to the back and push!

And you stop grinning about your
love life - come and help.

Get cracking, Tom!

Come on! Come on!

Shove, damn you, shove - don't
lean against the bloody thing.

Never mind your ruddy make-up.
Get up - push!

It's no good, sir.

What d'ya mean no good? You're a bloody fine one
to talk, riding all the way.

You told me to drive, sir. It's the engine. It's boiling over, it's heating.

And a seized engine won't get us to Alex.

So you all want to walk, do you?

All right, there's the compass.

Take all the food and water you want,...

.. Keep on 30 degrees for two days
- and I hope it keeps fine for you.

Who the hell are you talking to?
I've taken about enough from you.

You haven't taken half
you're going to, yet.

Hold it - take it easy, gentlemen.

I'm going to get Katy to Alex,
do you understand? I'm going to.

It's a personal thing.

Let him alone.

Now there is a way we might get her up.

Wind her up on the starting handle
with the plugs out,...

.. In reverse, lowest gear.

It's a long shot but it could work.

In reverse? That means you've got to
turn her round - she'll fall over on this slope.

Not if we all use our weight
- I'll show you.

Down on the left. Bring her down
on the left there - she'll go this time.

Go on, round with her.

That's it, away you go. Hard round,
all she'll go, go on, round you go.

Full lock, full lock, man.

I've no idea what they're doing.

They tried to explain to me but
I'm hopeless at that sort of thing.

If we take the plugs out
there's no resistance.

And if you put it in a low gear
and wind the starting handle, the...

.. wheels turn very slowly.

Because the movement's so gradual,
the sand isn't disturbed...

that's the theory.

Come and help.

All right,
I'll come and watch a miracle.

Now, let's see.

Brake off?

Okay.

Any movement?

No.

Nothing at all?

It's working!

Tom! It's working!

It's working!

Right - 500 turns each till we
get to the top. Alright - here we go!

Only about another thirty feet, sir.

Hold her there. I'll get my shirt.

Come on - we're there!

She's away!

Stop it! Stop it!

Oh, dear God.

My fault - I should
have had somebody on the brake.

That's your job on the next trip.

Well, let's take a little exercise,
shall we?

Come on, now. It's quite simple.

Whenever we say "brake" just pull on the brake as hard as you can on the brake
and the ratchet'll hold her. Alright? Good.

All right - Brake off!

We're there. We made it.

See that clear bit?

That's the reflection of the sea.

Right, van der Poel - your honour. Bring her up
the last lap. And get cracking. That bar opens at six.

# My old man said
follow the van

# Don't dilly-dally on the way

# Off went the van
with my home in it

# I followed on
with me old cock linnet

# But I dillied and dallied,
dallied and dillied

# Lost the way
and don't know where to roam

# Cos you can't trust the Specials
like the old-time coppers

# When you can't find
your way home. #

Do you want to see him
stuck up against a wall and shot?

No, I don't.

Well, he is a spy.

Is your officer here, Sergeant?
Yes, sir. In the tent, sir.

Identity card, Diana. Paybook, Tom.
Right, sir.
Right.

Nip in the back
and keep him company, will you?

Tom, shouldn't we put the tin
under the radiator?

That tin! Not ever again. You don't
know how I feel about that tin!

Captain Johnson - Sister Murdoch.
Sounds like a pretty good show, Sister.

Well, I expect you'd like a wash and brush-up.
Thanks, we've got to push on.

- A drink then?
- No, we've a date for that.

Okay then. Well I hope the shirt fits
your South African chum - It was the biggest I could find.

Thanks - I'll see you get it back.
Thanks.

Present from the military police
to Captain van der Poel.

Better take the pips off
before you give it to him.

I suppose you know
what you're doing?

This time, yes.

What about us?

Well, we'll both go back to our units,
like I told you.

I'd like to be coming with you.

Too much of a handful.

You'll be coming back to Alex?

No. Wouldn't work out.

I'd like to think it could but,...

...it wouldn't.

Only make you unhappy.

See?

I started already!

You said you don't understand women.

You certainly don't understand me.

If you did, you'd realise
I don't give up so easily.

Better take the er... shirt
in to the captain.

What's that?

The other spring's gone.

Shall I pull up, sir?

What the hell! She's done 600 miles over every kind of stuff - we've only four to go - bash on.

You good old cow!

Set 'em up, Joe.

Set what up?

Four ice-cold lagers.

Captain Anson. Wh...Where have you been?

Doing some motoring. Come on, Joe,
let's have that beer, hmm?

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

You kept your promise.

Well, let's hope the beer's
all I said it was, eh?

Worth waiting for.

Come on. Drink up. You deserved it.
Four more, Joe.

Here's to you, man!

Good luck!

Sit down, over here. Stall. Quick.

Come on. Sit down. Sit down.

Come on man, drink up.
You're one behind.

Cigarette?

- Captain Anson.
- You're early.

Maybe. But it is strictly forbidden
to fraternize with the enemy.

Fresh off the boat. Thinks all that ironmongery is the answer.

You obey orders, lieutenant. Wait outside
til the time I fixed with your CO.

I phoned for them at the checkpoint.
We've only got a few minutes.

Now, what's your real name?

Look. I told security you're a German officer.

You got lost outside Tobruk.
We picked you up and you gave us your parole.

But the whole thing breaks down
if we don't know your real name.

But don't try to bluff it out now, man.
We've known for a long time.

We knew the first time you tried
to get us through your own people.

Once was a miracle, but twice ? just wasn't on.

And that ruddy great bag of yours.

We knew it was a transmitter long before
it went down in the bog.

Now, come on. What's your real name?

Good god, man, can't you see it's your last chance?

Why do you think I got rid of everything that
identified you as a South African? Stick to our story!

You know the alternative?

Do you want to be stuck up against a wall and shot?

Otto Lutz.

Hauptmann engineer. 21st Panzer group.

Well, here's to you, Otto.

We all know damn well we wouldn't be here
if it hadn't been for you.

It's 6:30, Captain Anson.

OK. But won't you fraternize
with us and have one for the road?

No, thank you.

You'll release me from my parole,
Herr Capitan?

Certainly.

Now, look.

I told your CO that Hauptmann Lutz has behaved in an exemplary manner.

So there's no need for a ball and chain.

First, will you shake hands with me, please?

Gn?diges Fr?ulein

Otto.

You, um, haven't finished your beer.

It has been quite an experience.

All against the desert. The greater enemy.

I've learned a lot about the English.

So different from all I've been taught.

Auf Weidersehen.