I motorizzati (1962) - full transcript
A guy is about to become the millionth citizen to buy a car in Rome. Frightened, he decides to remain pedestrian, and recalls several stories, with new car owners as protagonists.
Here are the candles, dear.
I also turned them on.
Dear Filippo!
"Who does not die sees again"!
Car wash and grease for my wife.
Yes, dear, I tried
to get our car in too.
Excuse me, are you
the "show" of the car?
Alfredo, close the
door when you get off!
I assign the car up for grabs
to the winner of our lottery,
Surveyor Mario Bianchi.
Congratulations.
. Thank you.
Congratulations..
Very kind of you, thanks.
There is a million for her.
The million? There is a
mistake, I have to take the car.
I won the car.
Yes, with the license plate
of 1,000,000.. 1,000,000!
So in Rome there are a
million cars in circulation!
Of course, the motorization
is progressing dramatically.
1,000,000!... And I should...
No, I'm sorry. Good evening.
Go away? Yup.
Do you not collect the car?
No, there are already a million!
I go on foot.
I was born with two feet and I
don't want to die with four wheels.
But no... My decision is
irrevocable. Good evening.
From today begins
my crusade, indeed my
personal battle
against the motorization.
But to convince you
I will not use plastic
bombs, but the
weapon of reasoning.
I'll start by destroying the
most obvious of the "clich?s":
"Who goes by car goes fast".
It's not true.
The average speed of
a car at rush hour is half a
kilometer per hour. Instead
the pedestrian can reach
anywhere in the
city in an instant.
As long as it's not
the sidewalk opposite.
The man who rides an automobile
lives in an iron shell
like canned meat.
He no longer has contact with nature,
he does not notice the
rustling of the leaves, the
flowering of the plants,
the hum of insects...
Or other simple visions that
only the pedestrian can enjoy.
I watch,
I see,
black stockings, garters.
What a calf! How can I do?
I sweat,
I see,
lace, skirts, petticoats.
I wink, I see double.
I think
own
that I am there and she says...
How many cravings...
There is my wife!
It is time to get to the example.
I will show you
what can happen to a
pedestrian who decides
to become a motorist.
Here's one you need
to buy a four-wheeler.
He is a sales representative,
he is 35 years old and
up to now he has had only
he is his wife.
Evidently it is not enough.
Let's go in?. No..
Come on, let's go inside.
Are you sure?
. Yes, Pussi.
First there are the necessary
expenses, then the discretionary ones.
But I need the 500 for my
work! Don't make that face!
There are more necessary
things, for example a fur coat.
It's necessary?. I have
no pearls or a bracelet or a wig.
Okay, let's buy the car first
and then the other things.
We can afford it thanks to
the deal with engineer Bertana.
It is not concluded, you have not
signed.. He will sign this afternoon.
Here we go.. Here we go.
He has air cooling,
he rest assured.
How many gears?
. Four.. Four gears.
Does it have a carburetor?
. No.. No?
I was joking! Of course
he has the carburetor!
Pussi.. How?.
I'm not telling her. Pussi.
What do you say?
Let me show you something
else, "little choice, much waste".
But it's blue! "Blue pulls
black from cradle to cemetery".
No need, the paint
cancels the superstition.
So you don't like it?
. Yes, honey, but...
"Dress" little. The gentleman
sees himself from the car.
Do you have anything else to show us?
. This might be fine.
It is a Saturnia 62, eight cylinders.
Holy shit... How?. It seems
to me that we are on the right track.
Pussi, no.... Let me speak.
Can the accessories be changed?
If I wear a red dress, with this
green I would look like a flag.
Sure..
Have you decided to ruin me?
Exaggerated! No, you are exaggerating.
. You are the one who wants the car.
The 500 is enough for me. You
don't have to be stingy with yourself.
This machine is comfortable,
modern. Come on, try it.
No....
Take a seat, courage.
First tell me how much..
180, 200 kilometers per hour.
No, how much?.
He cares about money.
Ah, how much! Um... millions.
How many?. 6. IGE included.
Do the lady a favor.
Tempting devil!.
Lady, how good it is in there!
Yes, it suits me perfectly.
It's your car.
Consume too much.
. No, nonsense.
The spare parts, the stamp....
Only 50 thousand lire.
You absolutely have to buy
it, it is a representative car.
No, Pussi, I can't buy it.
. Yes, Pissi. Pissi.
We are highly observed.
In here you look taller.
Move with more elegance.
BELL
Cuckold!
In this period I
feel very informed.
What is this red light
that goes on and off?
"Fuel". What does that mean?
. Petrol.
Ready.. How much is it?
. 18,000.. The whore!
Honey, we need to
correct your language.
But we are going to ruin!
Where do we get with this
petrol?. At the Trevi Fountain.
Did you understand?. So then we
do the deal with the engineer Bertana.
It's not done yet..
There is the contract.
It has not yet been signed.
. But he gave his word.
"Word given never returned".
Turn right, I want to pass
under the Colasanti house.
We will arrive late at
the engineer Bertana.
I want to honk under
the Colasanti house.
It does not go through it. We go to
Bertana, we will return to the Colasanti.
No, I will never come
to these streets again!
Who knows what
this button will do.
What the hell are you doing?
. Don't you believe in miracles?
And this?
Uuh! See how it goes up!
Don't distract me!
. I don't touch you!
Aerial,
what will stop your ascent?
Your dead
How cute, they throw flowers at us!
. Unfortunates!
Bertana has already arrived.
Where is the bag?
Calm down, smile, you
have to appear friendly.
How does this accident open up?
The important thing
is to be nice to people.
Hello, engineer, sorry
I'm late.. Nice big car!
Maybe a little excessive.
Who is that little woman there?
No, that's... I'm glad for
you that you can afford it.
I can't, I have a smooth smooth
Bianchina... without soda!
Without seltzer! You
Milanese are really nice!
I brought the contract..
First I want to give you a little speech.
A little speech?.
I am a prudent man.
That monument there and
that face do not convince me.
But engineer.... Forget it.
For the deal why doesn't he
turn to someone else?. Why?
Because I'm not a fool.
. She?
Anyone who has a car like this is
sure to have a different kind of business.
One moment!
That smiles at me..
Who?. I am not a "twat."
Say hello to his girlfriend.
. No little friend! Wait!
She promised to
sign the contract!
"Word given never returned"!
Engineer, wait! Stop!
Crazy things!
Everything good?
. All bad!
You are always too sure of yourself.
You said the deal was done!
It is your fault that you
wanted to buy this car.
You signed the bills.
I wanted the fur.
Where are you going?. To
return the car, I don't want it anymore.
Volubility you are a woman,
but the man possesses you!
I can give you the
500 and a half million.
How much does the car I
bought calculate?. Two million.
But this morning I paid 6 for it!
. By now the car is used.
But I did 12 kilometers!.
Mileage has nothing to do with it.
The car is used..
But you can resell it.
It is difficult to sell it
new, let alone used!
With all those qualities?
. No good points!
It consumes a lot, there
are no spare parts...
But the stamp is cheap.
. Little? A tombola!
50 thousand lire..
Every two months! > Pissi!
Everything good? I chose the color.
Red tomato, goes well with all
clothes and this year was in fashion.
Here's the difference.
These are my bills..
For a million and a half.
But this morning I also gave her
some cash.. Always this morning!
"Time is money" and money
is here today, there tomorrow...
Does he give us money back?
. I'm just doing it for her.
I'm going to prepare the 500 for you.
I saved you.
Save?. Yes, he gives us
the 500 and also some money.
I buy the fur.. Fur?
She's right mom when
she says you're stingy.
When the driver has
bought the car, the
madness of the
accessory develops in him.
Here is everything.
Floor mats, covers, covers
for covers, license
plates, plates, mirrors,
fans, trumpets, trumpets,
horns, cornets, and puppets
of all kinds, funny,
serious, elegant, refined.
And very classy.
But of all the accessories the
most expensive and cumbersome,
the only one that motorists
would give up is this.
See how much traffic there is
at this intersection this morning.
I don't understand anything,
but what is that Bianchina doing?
That taxi driver runs too
much, the old one goes under me.
That guy who's crazy, mu-fine!
I write a lot of numbers, I
already filled a pad this morning.
Now I withdraw his license,
look how much indiscipline!
That one goes with red
and the other one goes on him.
That young
woman plays, mu-fine!
He is enchanted, he is
engorged, all still this morning.
Are you going in the wrong direction,
documents, are you a lady or a lady?
The one turns like a blind man,
and the other one goes after him.
Put the brake
on at least, mu-fine!
Look how much traffic there is
at this intersection this morning-
I don't understand anything,
but what is that Bianchina doing?
That taxi driver runs too
much, the old one goes under me.
That guy who's
crazy, mu-fine!
The name of this municipal
traffic agent is urban.
As soon as he leaves the house, you
immediately see that he is a policeman.
The no-parking car
does not escape him.
But... that plate...
That license plate number he knows!
Even a traffic
cop can have a car.
A superb sports
competition show.
The 12 Hours is a
tough test for engines and men.
Out of 65 cars
that started eight
hours ago, only 34
are still in the race.
Indeed, 31.31 men who form
one whole with their racing cars.
30 men fighting each other
until the last ounce of energy.
This is an extreme
case of fanaticism.
But there are other fanatics
in the field of motorization.
We found one. 30 years old,
married, with dependent mother-in-law
Here he is, it is the
accountant Nino Borsetti.
Holy shit, can't you
even sleep on Sundays?
Long last! I was waking
up the whole neighborhood!
Not here, her in front.
Come on, she mounts.
Let's go to the countryside, not
to the theater. Just wear a rag!
We have arrived?
Give me the road sign booklet.
- Why did you stop?
- There's a signal.
- That's not. -No. -Not even that.
- Maybe this is it with the trumpet.
- Is there the trumpet?
- No. - So what?
Here we go.
We left early to find
the road clear, and
then we find the
cows breaking the b...
- They break the average.
- Why don't you play?
No, it is not known what
reactions they may have.
NOISE - What happened?
- The bag dropped.
Who knows how you put it!
You don't have to put your
stuff on me, I have to drive.
- How is this wine?
- That's what you like.
- What colour is it?
- Red.
In the car you have to bring
the white one that does not stain.
They capped it with paper. If it
overturns, we throw the car away.
There should be a stopper.
I knew it! Damn!
- Do they stain peaches? No!
- Luckily!
Nino, the level crossing.
- Stop braking!
- Don't you brake?
- The machine does not respond!
- Like? - What are we doing?
- Hold on!
- I'll throw it downstairs! - No!
- Mum!
- Where is the spirit?
Haven't you brought it?
- It's nothing, I'm not hurt.
- You didn't bring the spirit!
Giovanna, tell the truth,
you didn't bring the spirit!
- No, it's under the dashboard.
- Ah, luckily!
- Let me see, Mom.
- It's nothing, don't be scared.
You are kind, Nino, but
there is no need, look.
Does she still wear
lipstick at his age?
Look here!
Let's continue with
the section "The dish of the day".
It's 10.30 and we
have to worry about lunch.
At the market
you buy a kilo of peppers...
- Yet?
- I'm choking.
Mom, don't overdo the
wine, the pressure rises.
The pressure! I have to deflate the
wheels a little, otherwise they'll blow!
Come on, dude, come on.
- I'm not saying to you, but to the dog.
- Where is he? - Behind the car.
What are you doing back here?
There is the tree, do you have
to do it right on my wheels?
Here, a piece of bread.
Go eat it over there.
Here they come.
We have to go away.
Let's go, otherwise
we get clogged up.
- Come on, Giovanna.
- I still have to eat fruit.
Eat it at home, walk!
Go, go wild, young like
today you don't walk anymore.
- What time is it?
- 11.45 am. At one o'clock we are home.
We are in compliance
with the timetable.
But returning to Rome
at this time we cook!
He does not mind. He makes us
get up with the chickens, makes us
have lunch at 11 and makes us
leave with the "bite in the mouth".
Was it better to go back
to "walking pace" tonight?
- I don't want to melt the engine!
- This car hurts you.
To me? Are you kidding? I
am not a slave to the machine!
When you had to choose between a
son and the 600, you chose the 600!
That's enough! I didn't bring
you to undergo all this chatter!
The car hurts me, you could
have stood in front of me.
No, I put it like this to
distribute the weight.
She is heavier and has to be
in front where there is no engine
and you behind in the middle.
Running-in is an important thing.
And then the seat next to the
driver is the most dangerous one.
It is Sunday, but in the semi-deserted
city there are those who do not sleep.
Stop!
Would you like it like this?
Make no mistake, the anti-fine
windshield wiper has not
yet been invented nor will
it be invented very soon.
Excuse me, I got
distracted for a moment.
In this case, if I, a pedestrian,
get distracted, it doesn't matter.
Instead...
Damn!
- Why did you hit the wall?
- Because I'm an idiot.
Don't get angry.
Distraction can cause
the driver more trouble.
Look what happened to the
accountant Achille Pestani
one evening when he
went to the cinema to relax.
Is there anybody there?
Where are you?
Constantine!
Help!
Let's open the chest.
With his
evil power he makes fun of death.
Excuse me, do you
have a match, please?
This is the proof.
Let his soul rest in peace.
And how?
The inscription on the icon indicates
only one way, and now
the spell is finally broken.
But what does it do? Does
my hand burn? Be careful!
The trouble with the accountant
Pestani originated from the
fact that he owned a gray
1800s parked outside the cinema.
Another perfectly alike
had stopped beside him.
Here is the pharmacy, ma'am.
Thank you. It's one of my
usual attacks. Buy these drops.
If I pass out, let me drink them.
20 drops. Please, Giovanni.
- Well, ma'am.
- Hurry up.
Where are the keys?
Here they are, what a fool!
Sooner or later they will steal my car.
(I turn off the light...
Actually, I don't turn it off.
Not because I'm afraid, I've
seen so many films like this!)
Lady, what are you doing
in my car? He feels bad?
Answer, lady!
My goodness!
Lady, can I touch you?
Please answer me. Can I help
you? Is there anything I can do?
A token, please.
You are having
an affair with a married woman.
(You have been to Germany
and brought a camera
- without paying customs.
- But everyone does it. - Bad! Bring him inside.)
- Here's the token.
- No, thanks, I've changed my mind, I'm not calling anymore.
(In Italy they hold you
for a pack of foreign
cigarettes, let alone
for a national corpse!)
(You are alone and
they are four, and
since the majority
wins, you confess.)
Excuse me, Nero's Tomb?
- The Tomb of Nero - The tomb of Nero?
- Yes, the restaurant.
- I thought you were talking about the cemetery.
- Why, do I look like Dracula?
- No.
- Thanks anyway.
You will say that this
too is an extreme case.
Usually a motorist does not
transport a dead old lady, but
a beautiful live girl and
takes her to the countryside.
- Stand still! - Come on!
- Do not touch.
"I don't touch."
- No, I'm looking for the lever.
- What leverage?
- That of the folding seat.
- No, the folding seat is not!
- See how it works.
Ah, honey!
Will you turn me on, please?
Yes, yes.
Immediately.
- Are you excited? - No...
- Don't worry, I won't eat you.
I know.
- It's stiff, right? - Thing?
- This north wind.
I am half naked, I have
nothing underneath!
- Can I come in? - No!
- Are you afraid I will dirty it?
Sorry, I didn't see
you have company!
She is already lying down,
she is also trying to hide.
But that could be
your mother, instead
you would have found
all fresh stuff here.
Hello, handsome young man.
Back and forth,
what a great fun!
Back and forth...
Damn the corpses!
Sorry.
Damn, how the corpses weigh!
This must be a fake lean.
(A nice dip in the freezing
water, then the current,
the rapid, the sea. Nobody
will recognize it anymore.)
I have a cold...!
Okay, I must have been drinking...
Oh, sorry. In short...
It doesn't seem like...
Hello, night partner.
Are you coming to drink with me?
Come?
You do not answer?
Hey!
You do not answer?
How dare you? This is my wife.
- Go away.
- You didn't mean to steal it.
- I wanted to offer you a drink, but
she abstains.- Then you go home.
No! I go where I want.
Long live the freedom!
Eventually she'll get
pneumonia and I'll die too.
Have you seen, dear?
I come here to fish.
I got that two-pound pike
here. Do not you believe it?
I was right here. Look.
- Sir.
- What's up? -Why didn't she put the triangle on?
- The triangle?
- You have to put it on when she
stops with the car.- she's right.
But I leave immediately, I showed
my wife where I fish on Sundays.
She wasn't convinced, she
wanted to see the exact point.
- Another time put the triangle.
- Yes, yes.
Come on, dear.
Sorry.
Do you remember the couple Pussi and Pissi?
The 500 that's coming is theirs.
The two spouses, always in
agreement, are taking a trip to Chieti.
We have been walking for an hour
and there is neither
a sign nor a town.
- You must have taken the wrong turn.
- You have the map.
If I drove, I
wouldn't need maps.
I know this area very well.
I was engaged to a noble
landowner who lived here.
There were grandfather's estates.
- Show me the map.
- Here, you rogue!
I can't go wrong, the
streets are marked in blue.
No, the ones marked
in blue are the rivers!
Why do they mark them?
Who goes there by car?
Damn, we needed this too!
Your "cip" product craze!
- That's why we are stopped, there is no more engine!
- Stay behind!
- There is no more petrol.
- Now what do we do? - What are we doing!
The phone is 4 kilometers away.
You stay here, I'm going to get help.
So a killer comes, kills me
and your dreams come true.
Maybe a killer comes along,
at least we know where we are.
- Then you go.
- I can't walk, I have a fragile metacarpal.
- I could hitchhike.
- If someone looks at you, they won't stop.
Rude!
Crazy!
Go away, cat!
Away, cat!
- John... John...
The medicine...- she's alive. It's alive!
- Madam, what's going on?
- The drops...
- The drops? I know, unfortunately it's raining.
- 20 drops...
- What drops?
- Giovanni has the recipe... The pharmacy on the Corso...
- Quick, sir.
- Yes, I'll carry it.
Come on, I'll bring it right away.
Damn, it weighs!
I went back to the car
park and it was gone.
Here she is! But she is back!
And there is also the lady!
- What happened?
- I don't know, I passed out.
The drops?
Thanks, I'm better now.
- She doesn't know where she's been.
- This story is unclear.
- Let's go back to the police station.
- But I have already explained to you... - Follow us.
I don't understand anything!
- What happens?
- I have to work it, I have to do the strips.
But go...!
Back and forth, back
and forth, life is all here.
- Bepi, are you asleep?
- No, I'm awake.
- This is the good zone.
- Which area?
That's where the hookers are,
the women of the truck drivers.
I don't feel like it, I'm sleepy.
If we find one, I'll
let her wake you up.
- Careful. - What's up?
- Here she is.
Good evening.
- Good evening.
- I made some signals, did I hurt? - No.
Because of my husband, I found
myself in the middle of the road.
Do not tell me anything, otherwise
I will soften and do nothing.
- Hold on to me, otherwise "griffins".
- Like? - Fall.
No, thanks, I have a lot of balance.
- Good evening.
- I don't know anything, I'm sleepy.
- Am I okay?
- Yes, it's this direction.
- We are simple.
- Do not worry,
I have a great open mind.
I supported the left turn,
for me we are all the same.
- I, you, him, his wife..
.- Let's leave my Annetta alone.
You are respectable people,
you work even at night!
- You don't work at night?
- unfortunately I'm a housewife.
- Where do I stop?
- 4 kilometers away.
- Why?
- Because there is a telephone.
- Find a friend for you.
- I don't feel like it, I'm sleepy!
- Fairy, how much do you want?
- Like?
- Are 2 "bags" good?
- Like?
- 2 thousand lire. Even for him.
- I'm sleepy!
Help, it's wrong,
I'd like to get off.
Please stop, I want to get off.
- Stop!
- Are you crazy?
What people you meet on the streets!
Ordinary! A lady in
trouble cannot ask for help.
And then what ways!
And let's not talk about the price!
2 thousand lire! A kilo of boiled meat!
HORN - No! Enough for tonight!
Pussi, do you want to kill me?
- It's you, Pissi! - Yes.
- But how did you do it?
I met a driver who
gave me some petrol.
- Look what you did!
- Pissi.
Get in the car, hitchhiker!
- Pissi?
- Huh?
- How much do girls who "make life" pay?
- I do not know.
They even say a million.
Bullshit! The best 2 thousand lire.
- First name! - "or Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
- I understand.
- Like?
- "or Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
Brade-den...
- Ugo Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
- Sorry!
For this time we leave it alone,
but if he does it again fine. Go.
What are those doing? Hey, you!
Forward! You go away.
Forward!
Do you know what I do?
A fine to all!
Stop! Come here!
- Are you looking for his car?
- I don't have a car and I never will.
I am looking for a friend. Here it is.
Anselmo, be careful when you
put it away with greasy hands,
- all fingerprints remain!
- Rest assured.
Wait, can't you hear a whistle?
Yes, it's the kid.
- He's been warming up for 5 minutes. Can I go away?
- Yup.
Here are the keys.
I recommend the fingerprints.
- See you later.
- Goodbye, accountant.
The engine is straining,
I would put the third.
- He cut his way!
- Sure, he has red stripes!
Cars with red stripes
are the nastiest!
- They don't eat, but they have a car.
- I would send them all on foot!
- Me in jail!
- Quite right.
They don't see us and
give them a license.
- Good morning.
- Did you have fun by the sea yesterday?
- I prefer dressed women.
- at your age...!
- Good morning.
- It's all about the money.
- You could have come to the movies with me.
- No, that movie was a "pizza"!
- Good morning.
- Thanks, Gaetano.
- Did you go to Terracina yesterday?
- Yes, how much does the car consume!
Buy the 600. I do it 17
kilometers with a liter.
- Does your "drink" a lot?
- Like? My wife is almost a teetotaler.
- What do we care about your wife!
- The boss is here, he's nervous.
See you later.
- Good morning, engineer.
- Good morning, engineer.
- You, come to me for a moment.
- Right away, engineer.
Miss, tell Ambrosi that
when ordering the cheese...
- Permission?
- Forward. Don't send it normal.
- Yes, as for abroad. He should sit down.
- Thank you, engineer.
- You have a car, right?
- Yes, a 600.
I got it in installments.
It's small, but it's okay with me.
Borsetti, you know that I like to say
"bread with bread and wine with wine".
- You can feel comfortable with me.
- Well, we won't waste time.
On Saturday, on leaving here, I found
my Mercedes with a bump like this.
- There are so many rascals!
- Are you insured?
Of course, with everything
going on, you have to be foresight.
Good. She will tell her
assurance of her that
she hit my car, so they
will pay me the damage.
- But it wasn't me.
- I know, this is about insurance.
I understand and you are
right, whoever hits, pays.
Your assurance will
have nothing to object to.
Yes, she should pay for the
insurance of the person who hit her.
- But I don't know who it was. Do you pay the insurance?
- Yup.
- So?
- But if it wasn't me...
If she did it, the
insurance company will
believe her, assess
the damage and that's it.
Engineer, I'll forget
what you told me.
- I'm sorry but I can not.
- Why? - It's a lie.
Borsetti, what world do you live in?
They all do it!
She just has to tell her assurance
of her that she bumped me.
- But it wasn't me.
- Sure, otherwise
- I wouldn't be here wasting time!
- Yeah.
- Did I wake you up?
- Looks like a tarantula bit you.
You turn around all the time.
- I don't want to talk to the insurance people.
- Do as you like.
I don't remember anything,
not even what I ate today!
- What did I eat today?
- Pasta with peas.
Have you seen?
I remembered yesterday's potatoes.
In my opinion you are wrong.
It suits you. You will become friends
with her, in your work she serves.
They run whoever they want.
- Your colleagues will envy you.
- I don't want to do it!
I don't understand you, no
misfortune has happened to you.
- You will never have such an opportunity again.
- I can't do it!
I was so happy
because I had the car!
You can never rest assured.
Don't mess with investments!
I don't want to go to
jail now that I have a car!
- Well, he'll tell you what to say.
- Thank you.
- You will say that on the way to the office...
- I come before you.
But I stay longer,
I have the right.
Sure, but others can betray me.
Then she'll say it happened
while she was getting out of here.
- But I never come to the office with the car.
- Bad!
From tomorrow you will
come to the office with the car.
All right, engineer.
Have you seen how insurance
companies scam themselves?
The automobile weakens the
body and also the conscience.
When do you need a spare
part, where do you buy it?
In a shop? Poor innocents!
Why is trade so thriving
in this strange market?
Gentlemen motorists,
you increase it.
Yet you know that the goods
are supplied by guys like these two.
We have already seen them in action.
I don't know you,
but I want to test you.
Have you heard?
He wants to test us.
The professor and the moron,
specializing in theft of cars.
The arm and the mind,
the cat and the fox.
- Romeo and Juliet.
- Shut up, you're illiterate.
We are referenced, in
Agrigento everyone knew us.
- Why did you go away?
- Because they all knew us.
- The police too.
- I can trust?
Mizzica! Four-wheel
theft, sedan specialties.
- Tell him about that Sunday of the bus.
- What happened?
- Like? - I haven't read it. - What?
- "The Sunday of the courier".
Deficient! That
Sunday we stole the bus!
Ah, we sold the seats
to a local cinema.
Okay, I want to trust.
The tires are enough for me.
You steal a car, take off
the tires and bring them here.
Now go.
It is not easy, but the opportunity is
good, we must not make mistakes.
Danger is our job.
Remember when you made
the pole near the garage?
You looked like a real pole.
The night watchman didn't even
notice and neither did the dogs!
I noticed it myself.
However we have had
many failures and now
there is the first test
here on the continent.
Furthermore, the disadvantage
is that we do not know the area.
Professor, I know
Rome like my mother.
Has your brain gone into action?
Your eyes sparkle as if
they were "phosphorous".
- Eureka! - Where is it?
- No, I found it!
Here is the 500 of Pussi and Pissi.
But this time you will
have a surprise. Drive her.
The bus left, there was room.
No, I need space to maneuver.
- But we have been walking around the building for 20 minutes!
- You're bored with me!
Here, there is a place. Wait.
- Unfortunate!
- Excuse me, be patient.
- Damn you!
- To you and your grandfather!
Sorry!
I'm looking for a valet. I'll give
him the keys and he'll take care of it.
- No, they are exploiters.
- Valet!
Here we are!
- Fix it. I'll be right back.
- Yes Madam.
- What are you doing?
- This should be done by the valets!
Why is he looking at the tires?
I check the state in which
the vehicle is entrusted to us.
It seems strange to me, these
two have the face of thieves.
She offends us! We are
two authorized car attendants.
- Pissi, these things are not said.
- Here we go.
Two caps and that's
it. I have to admit, you
have a "telefunken"
brain, other than an "arm"!
- I don't even deserve
to be your foot.
We have to get to the periphery.
- You said you know the area.
- I know Rome like my mother!
Direction prohibited.
We take that road there.
They closed all the roads!
It seems to me the siege of the Alcazar!
When did you last come to Rome?
When I was "son of the wolf".
What do we do now? What does
your brain say to TRANSISTOR?
- Let's go out in reverse.
- Marconi was an electrician compared to you!
- Hurry up.
- If my mind doesn't fail me...
If my arm does not betray me, with
two swerves we will be out of Rome.
They always seem
the same streets to me.
I respect your "household
appliance" brain,
but I repeat that I know
Rome like my mother.
But this is not the campaign,
we are at the starting point!
Thanks to the valets,
the car is where we left it.
You said they had the face
of thieves, instead... Thanks.
20 lire! You are my shame!
- You knew Rome like your mother!
- It's not my fault I'm an orphan!
- That's enough. That's enough!
- Teacher!
Poor things, those are
predestined to go to jail.
Not because they
are inexperienced or
unlucky, but because
they play the small game.
In Italy, to stay calm, you
have to join the big game.
- But this has nothing to do
with our investigation.
Come on, I'll break your face!
I'll give you two eyes like that!
Who do you break the face of?
Don't worry, they
won't hit each other.
They will exchange the addresses
of their insurance companies,
without all those scruples
that torment Nino Borsetti.
I don't know how it happened,
I'm sorry, maybe it's tiredness.
After a morning of work.
You must understand, sir,
it was almost two o'clock.
Nino, the bathroom light.
What do you say, am I okay?
Review the hours well,
otherwise you are wrong.
It was about two and
three minutes, and I
had lingered with
some friends at the door.
Suddenly I heard a horn sound.
I turned around, it was the car
that was parked in front of mine.
I started the engine, the
gear was in gear and I hit it.
- Need an eyewitness?
- Like? - Eyewitness.
- What did you see?
- If you want, I've seen it all. - No, thanks.
Tell me where the accident
happened and I say I've seen it all.
- No, thanks.
- Only 2 "bags". - No thanks.
- How far was the distance?
- About two meters.
- Even more.
- Yes, about.
You have to be precise, even
five centimeters are important.
Excuse me, Dr. Brandi...
I was aboard my Appia,
registered Rome 544178.
- I came from the right... Excuse me!
- No, sorry, she comes from the right!
So, I was coming from the right...
It is not just about compensation for
damages, but about the Criminal Code!
The man you hit died in the
hospital yesterday morning.
- What do you want?
- The expert Brandini.
- Go to the counter.
- Thank you.
- What did he die of?
- Not measles, she hit him!
- Yup?
- It's Borsetti.
Ah, she is Borsetti!
She jokes, he is a humorist!
- Excuse me...
- Handbags! - I'm here.
Put a signature here.
- Have you signed?
- No, I would like to explain...
- Say, but hurry up.
- Yes. It was three minutes past two...
I am very busy, don't
worry, everything is fine.
I speak to the engineer. Sign.
Thank you.
So, are you all right?
One at a time, please.
That gentleman bought
his car a few hours ago.
Now he comes here to impress
his girlfriend Eliana's parents.
His name is Valentino
and like his eponymous
character in the poem he
dressed up "all over again".
He's also a little excited.
Eliana, your suitor is
about 7 minutes late.
Strange, Valentino is precise,
punctual, even meticulous.
- Is he a decent person?
- Yes mom.
Dance the twist, la-la-l?.
- What is he doing?
- I was trying to get into my car.
- From the window?
- I have no other choice.
- What about the keys?
- I'm inside and the double ones are in the drawer.
- Show a document.
- Aaahh!
She asks me for a document,
but my hand is stuck and it hurts.
In the other I have flowers.
Either I held flowers or
she takes the documents.
- Registration certificate.
- He's inside and the car is locked.
- And you would like to go in, right?
- Yup.
- Come with me.
- You're crazy! - Thing?
No... I mean, I don't
have time, I'm already late.
- How do I do it with my hand?
- So! - Ouch!
Not my hand, I have to
ask for my girlfriend's hand!
- I do not care!
- But I've been waiting for this moment for years!
- Here we go! - Put your hands down.
- Do you want a scandal? - No.
- Then let's go.
- I have to go, I'm late. - Get in!
My girlfriend is waiting for me!
- Giovanna.
- She How did you go?
- Well. - Did you answer everything?
- Yes, don't worry.
- Borsetti, the engineer wants it.
- I'll come right away.
She wants me the
engineer, surely to thank me.
- Ask him for the raise.
- Immediately? No!
- Don't do the usual!
- Okay, I'll ask him.
KNOCK ON DOOR - Come on.
- Good morning, engineer.
- Dear Borsetti! Please, take a seat.
Thanks, I'm standing.
- Because of the insurance business...
- It's all right.
There are some
details to perfect.
- Details?
- Don't be scared, it's nothing serious.
I could get her
to do a deal too.
- The expert said...
- I knew it was going to end badly!
Don't talk nonsense! Let me finish.
The expert is on our side.
He told me that it is not
dignified to exaggerate.
- Do we want fools to believe us?
- I would never dare!
Borsetti, but what a combination!
Would she have bumped my
car like that and nothing about her?
- Indeed...
- A little logic!
We must be realistic,
as the expert says.
- A tap on the 600...
- Like a tap?
CT scan! And everything is fine.
She pays mine, I pay her and
the insurance pays both of them.
He saw? If you listen to
me, you can make some deals.
Sure.
It's ready.
Nino, the pasta is on the table.
If these are not eaten
immediately, they become bad.
Wait!
I put the fried
garlic, as you like it.
Taste them, feel how good they are.
Don't do that, think about us.
He'll give you the raise and we'll get better.
Even if they hit your
car, then they fix it.
Reply!
What should I answer?
You can not understand.
You are a woman, you cannot understand.
It is as if someone said
to take an eye out of
my son and that the
mutual fund pays him back.
And you make money as well!
You earn, but you still have
the son with the glass eye.
I understand that you
are sorry, but this is life!
We must resign ourselves.
I don't
want to resign myself.
They mustn't touch my car!
All right, my
love, don't give up.
- Let's see what can be done.
- Too bad, it's new!
- Let's give him a blow here.
- No, there it doesn't justify the collision.
He has to take a hit
here and ruin this part.
- It's the rear-end collision of a Mercedes!
- All right.
- Then we also ruin the electrical system.
- Yes.
Sorry, what have you decided to do?
- She wasn't supposed to come.
- But it must not be destroyed,
- Just a small blow.
- We must justify the rear-end collision.
- I understand, but I'm afraid you are exaggerating.
- Don't worry.
Accountant, look. She
asked me for that horn...
They have begun! Cowards!
- What's up?
- He passed out.
- Courage. It's nothing.
- Don't hurt him.
- It's done. - It's all over.
Let me see it.
Kill!
Pussi, that whistled at you.
Don't be jealous.
So many men whistle
when I walk down the street!
- But he was a policeman.- I
don't make class distinction.
Even if you are an accountant, you
must not despise an honest worker.
- Only 12 thousand, did you see?
- What?
- That brown bag.
- Pussi!
Love, don't distract
me, I'm driving.
- Will you buy it for me? - Sure.
- Thanks, you're a treasure.
Are you cold, what is it?
Are you sleepy?
- Help!
- What a fool! At his age he jumps like a child!
Dear, is something wrong?
What are you thinking about?
- Is there another woman?
- No, I only think of you.
But you're acting weird.
- The truck!
You say gibberish. You're about
to have a nervous breakdown.
You have a glassy eye.
- Pussi, a car comes at us.
- You have visions!
- A car comes at us!
- Thing?
- We avoided it!
- It's his fault, he wasn't right.
- Yes, it is.
- No, he was on the same side as me.
It is you who are on the left!
- You don't trust me.
- When you're behind the wheel, no.
If there is no trust there is no esteem,
and if there is no esteem there is no love.
- I don't understand why you married me.
- Yeah, why? Boh!
Okay, you don't love me anymore.
But I will not hinder you.
- I'll leave you, get out of your life.
- See you later.
Pussi, what are you doing? Are you crazy?
- I want to die, so you learn!
- But so you make me die too!
- It's what I want.
- You're crazyyyy!
- Coarse!
- Now stop!
Here it is!
- Give me the key back.
- No!
- I want the key.
- Witch! - Boor!
- Milanese!
- This I do not forget!
- Give me the key back!
- You make me laugh!
- Hello, beautiful, I salute you!
- Good night.
Ah-ah! Not this time!
Hopefully this time
we get to see it.
This morning he made us
wait for an hour and 35 minutes.
- Eliana, is she really a serious person?
- Yes mom!
Pretty little girl,
take this keychain.
See the black stick?
You introduce it here and open.
You get in the car and open the
door so I can free
this damn tie. Here.
- What are you giving me?
- Little thug.
- I'll buy you an ice cream.
- No, I want the flowers.
No, I can't give them to you, they're mine.
I'll give you some pennies so
you can put it in the piggy bank.
- No, I want the flowers.
- I can't give them to you, they're mine!
I'll take you to a beautiful
meadow and help you pick flowers.
Be a good girl.
Luckily! You understand everything?
What are you going to do with those keys?
- I'll throw them in the lake.
- Good... Aaahh!
Delinquent! The keys!
If I catch you I'll throw you in the lake!
Aaahh!
Delinquent!
The keys! My keys!
Here they are!
Damn, that's not it.
This boyfriend of yours is impossible.
8 minutes late.
I don't understand,
Valentino is so polite!
He will have wasted time getting
dressed and looking good, he cares a lot!
Happy day!
- Valentine! - Is he Valentino?
- An accident happened to me.
Madam, I offer you these
flowers with all my heart.
- Eliana, let's go.
- Let me explain.
I arrived, closed the door and
the key remained in the car.
Then a little girl came and
I asked her to help me...
- There he is.
- The tie got caught...
- Where did you want to take my daughter?
- Here's the girl with the keys!
- I gave her the keys...
- And you wanted her to come count! - Like?
But what do you think?
Say what happened.
She-she Wanted to offer me ice cream.
- Yes, but as long as...
- He came in the car with you.
- Degenerate!
- What are you saying?... Excuse me.
- She also wanted to give me some money.
- To my daughter?
- Let me explain.
- You tell the truth.- she wanted to
take me to a meadow to pick flowers.
- Here!
- To my daughter? I'll kill you!
- Come here!
- You leave me!
- What did you want to do to my daughter?
- Let me explain!
I had the tie inside, the
- "Take the keys..."
- What do I care about the keys! - Aaahh!
- It took me an hour to find them!
Now who takes them? - You!
Eeeh, calm down.
How many things can be seen!
The motorization creates
the crazy ones of the steering
wheel, the frantic of the speed,
the chronic nervous exhausts.
With the exception
of the peaceful Nino
Borsetti, the prudent,
cautious owner of the 600.
What is he doing?
Exceeds to the right, goes to
the left invading the
roadway opposite to him?
He's got the bad
car, with the red stripes!
Now he cuts off two
cars that have right of way!
And it continues at over
120 kilometers per hour!
He has also become
a pirate of the road!
He learns to walk, then
you want to make me rich!
Hey! Take a shot!
San Gennaro, he really took it!
Ouch, the foot!
- But which foot? - This.
- But I was going at 30 per hour!
And then I come from the
right, I have the right of way.
I was on the strips.
These stripes endanger
the lives of motorists!
But it's her... ouch!
She's the one who hit me!
- Why don't you use the underpass?
- Here she is not there.
So stay home! Where do you go on
foot? You look like so many chickens!
- Now you give me the license plate number.
- It's there, you take it.
- A million!
- Give it to Mr. Bonaventura!
- My..
.- How about him?
- Are you a pedestrian?
- Yes why?
Call a policeman.
We have to help each other.
- Call the policeman?
- Yes. - Come here. - Ouch!
- Come with me.- I can't.
- Sit back.
It is useless to call the policeman...
Please, that's our business!
I am familiar
with car accidents.
Watch the sidewalk.
The brigade is not
needed, I am insured
- and she broke her foot.
- It's not broken.
If she says that she is just a retort,
the insurance gives her 10 thousand lire.
- Are you a footballer?
- Surveyor.
Surveyors need their feet too.
- Permanent invalidity, S.C...
- S.C.?
"If no complications arise".
She takes a million, half for one...
- Nino, it ends badly.
- Let me work!
In the last accident, where
we lost my lady's mom...
- Condolence.
- They are pains, but... 3 million.
- Well... - Look.
- What should I do?
"Ouch, the foot"!
- Ouch, the foot! Half for one? - Sure.
- If they notice...
- No, a signature is enough.
Go down... If your foot
is broken, you don't have to strain it!
- Here is the policeman.
- Ouch, the foot!
I'm wrong, it was me.
He was on the strips and I ran
over him. He gets the report.
I got ruined!
He who knows how much he will have to pay!
NOT AUDIBLE VOICES
I also turned them on.
Dear Filippo!
"Who does not die sees again"!
Car wash and grease for my wife.
Yes, dear, I tried
to get our car in too.
Excuse me, are you
the "show" of the car?
Alfredo, close the
door when you get off!
I assign the car up for grabs
to the winner of our lottery,
Surveyor Mario Bianchi.
Congratulations.
. Thank you.
Congratulations..
Very kind of you, thanks.
There is a million for her.
The million? There is a
mistake, I have to take the car.
I won the car.
Yes, with the license plate
of 1,000,000.. 1,000,000!
So in Rome there are a
million cars in circulation!
Of course, the motorization
is progressing dramatically.
1,000,000!... And I should...
No, I'm sorry. Good evening.
Go away? Yup.
Do you not collect the car?
No, there are already a million!
I go on foot.
I was born with two feet and I
don't want to die with four wheels.
But no... My decision is
irrevocable. Good evening.
From today begins
my crusade, indeed my
personal battle
against the motorization.
But to convince you
I will not use plastic
bombs, but the
weapon of reasoning.
I'll start by destroying the
most obvious of the "clich?s":
"Who goes by car goes fast".
It's not true.
The average speed of
a car at rush hour is half a
kilometer per hour. Instead
the pedestrian can reach
anywhere in the
city in an instant.
As long as it's not
the sidewalk opposite.
The man who rides an automobile
lives in an iron shell
like canned meat.
He no longer has contact with nature,
he does not notice the
rustling of the leaves, the
flowering of the plants,
the hum of insects...
Or other simple visions that
only the pedestrian can enjoy.
I watch,
I see,
black stockings, garters.
What a calf! How can I do?
I sweat,
I see,
lace, skirts, petticoats.
I wink, I see double.
I think
own
that I am there and she says...
How many cravings...
There is my wife!
It is time to get to the example.
I will show you
what can happen to a
pedestrian who decides
to become a motorist.
Here's one you need
to buy a four-wheeler.
He is a sales representative,
he is 35 years old and
up to now he has had only
he is his wife.
Evidently it is not enough.
Let's go in?. No..
Come on, let's go inside.
Are you sure?
. Yes, Pussi.
First there are the necessary
expenses, then the discretionary ones.
But I need the 500 for my
work! Don't make that face!
There are more necessary
things, for example a fur coat.
It's necessary?. I have
no pearls or a bracelet or a wig.
Okay, let's buy the car first
and then the other things.
We can afford it thanks to
the deal with engineer Bertana.
It is not concluded, you have not
signed.. He will sign this afternoon.
Here we go.. Here we go.
He has air cooling,
he rest assured.
How many gears?
. Four.. Four gears.
Does it have a carburetor?
. No.. No?
I was joking! Of course
he has the carburetor!
Pussi.. How?.
I'm not telling her. Pussi.
What do you say?
Let me show you something
else, "little choice, much waste".
But it's blue! "Blue pulls
black from cradle to cemetery".
No need, the paint
cancels the superstition.
So you don't like it?
. Yes, honey, but...
"Dress" little. The gentleman
sees himself from the car.
Do you have anything else to show us?
. This might be fine.
It is a Saturnia 62, eight cylinders.
Holy shit... How?. It seems
to me that we are on the right track.
Pussi, no.... Let me speak.
Can the accessories be changed?
If I wear a red dress, with this
green I would look like a flag.
Sure..
Have you decided to ruin me?
Exaggerated! No, you are exaggerating.
. You are the one who wants the car.
The 500 is enough for me. You
don't have to be stingy with yourself.
This machine is comfortable,
modern. Come on, try it.
No....
Take a seat, courage.
First tell me how much..
180, 200 kilometers per hour.
No, how much?.
He cares about money.
Ah, how much! Um... millions.
How many?. 6. IGE included.
Do the lady a favor.
Tempting devil!.
Lady, how good it is in there!
Yes, it suits me perfectly.
It's your car.
Consume too much.
. No, nonsense.
The spare parts, the stamp....
Only 50 thousand lire.
You absolutely have to buy
it, it is a representative car.
No, Pussi, I can't buy it.
. Yes, Pissi. Pissi.
We are highly observed.
In here you look taller.
Move with more elegance.
BELL
Cuckold!
In this period I
feel very informed.
What is this red light
that goes on and off?
"Fuel". What does that mean?
. Petrol.
Ready.. How much is it?
. 18,000.. The whore!
Honey, we need to
correct your language.
But we are going to ruin!
Where do we get with this
petrol?. At the Trevi Fountain.
Did you understand?. So then we
do the deal with the engineer Bertana.
It's not done yet..
There is the contract.
It has not yet been signed.
. But he gave his word.
"Word given never returned".
Turn right, I want to pass
under the Colasanti house.
We will arrive late at
the engineer Bertana.
I want to honk under
the Colasanti house.
It does not go through it. We go to
Bertana, we will return to the Colasanti.
No, I will never come
to these streets again!
Who knows what
this button will do.
What the hell are you doing?
. Don't you believe in miracles?
And this?
Uuh! See how it goes up!
Don't distract me!
. I don't touch you!
Aerial,
what will stop your ascent?
Your dead
How cute, they throw flowers at us!
. Unfortunates!
Bertana has already arrived.
Where is the bag?
Calm down, smile, you
have to appear friendly.
How does this accident open up?
The important thing
is to be nice to people.
Hello, engineer, sorry
I'm late.. Nice big car!
Maybe a little excessive.
Who is that little woman there?
No, that's... I'm glad for
you that you can afford it.
I can't, I have a smooth smooth
Bianchina... without soda!
Without seltzer! You
Milanese are really nice!
I brought the contract..
First I want to give you a little speech.
A little speech?.
I am a prudent man.
That monument there and
that face do not convince me.
But engineer.... Forget it.
For the deal why doesn't he
turn to someone else?. Why?
Because I'm not a fool.
. She?
Anyone who has a car like this is
sure to have a different kind of business.
One moment!
That smiles at me..
Who?. I am not a "twat."
Say hello to his girlfriend.
. No little friend! Wait!
She promised to
sign the contract!
"Word given never returned"!
Engineer, wait! Stop!
Crazy things!
Everything good?
. All bad!
You are always too sure of yourself.
You said the deal was done!
It is your fault that you
wanted to buy this car.
You signed the bills.
I wanted the fur.
Where are you going?. To
return the car, I don't want it anymore.
Volubility you are a woman,
but the man possesses you!
I can give you the
500 and a half million.
How much does the car I
bought calculate?. Two million.
But this morning I paid 6 for it!
. By now the car is used.
But I did 12 kilometers!.
Mileage has nothing to do with it.
The car is used..
But you can resell it.
It is difficult to sell it
new, let alone used!
With all those qualities?
. No good points!
It consumes a lot, there
are no spare parts...
But the stamp is cheap.
. Little? A tombola!
50 thousand lire..
Every two months! > Pissi!
Everything good? I chose the color.
Red tomato, goes well with all
clothes and this year was in fashion.
Here's the difference.
These are my bills..
For a million and a half.
But this morning I also gave her
some cash.. Always this morning!
"Time is money" and money
is here today, there tomorrow...
Does he give us money back?
. I'm just doing it for her.
I'm going to prepare the 500 for you.
I saved you.
Save?. Yes, he gives us
the 500 and also some money.
I buy the fur.. Fur?
She's right mom when
she says you're stingy.
When the driver has
bought the car, the
madness of the
accessory develops in him.
Here is everything.
Floor mats, covers, covers
for covers, license
plates, plates, mirrors,
fans, trumpets, trumpets,
horns, cornets, and puppets
of all kinds, funny,
serious, elegant, refined.
And very classy.
But of all the accessories the
most expensive and cumbersome,
the only one that motorists
would give up is this.
See how much traffic there is
at this intersection this morning.
I don't understand anything,
but what is that Bianchina doing?
That taxi driver runs too
much, the old one goes under me.
That guy who's crazy, mu-fine!
I write a lot of numbers, I
already filled a pad this morning.
Now I withdraw his license,
look how much indiscipline!
That one goes with red
and the other one goes on him.
That young
woman plays, mu-fine!
He is enchanted, he is
engorged, all still this morning.
Are you going in the wrong direction,
documents, are you a lady or a lady?
The one turns like a blind man,
and the other one goes after him.
Put the brake
on at least, mu-fine!
Look how much traffic there is
at this intersection this morning-
I don't understand anything,
but what is that Bianchina doing?
That taxi driver runs too
much, the old one goes under me.
That guy who's
crazy, mu-fine!
The name of this municipal
traffic agent is urban.
As soon as he leaves the house, you
immediately see that he is a policeman.
The no-parking car
does not escape him.
But... that plate...
That license plate number he knows!
Even a traffic
cop can have a car.
A superb sports
competition show.
The 12 Hours is a
tough test for engines and men.
Out of 65 cars
that started eight
hours ago, only 34
are still in the race.
Indeed, 31.31 men who form
one whole with their racing cars.
30 men fighting each other
until the last ounce of energy.
This is an extreme
case of fanaticism.
But there are other fanatics
in the field of motorization.
We found one. 30 years old,
married, with dependent mother-in-law
Here he is, it is the
accountant Nino Borsetti.
Holy shit, can't you
even sleep on Sundays?
Long last! I was waking
up the whole neighborhood!
Not here, her in front.
Come on, she mounts.
Let's go to the countryside, not
to the theater. Just wear a rag!
We have arrived?
Give me the road sign booklet.
- Why did you stop?
- There's a signal.
- That's not. -No. -Not even that.
- Maybe this is it with the trumpet.
- Is there the trumpet?
- No. - So what?
Here we go.
We left early to find
the road clear, and
then we find the
cows breaking the b...
- They break the average.
- Why don't you play?
No, it is not known what
reactions they may have.
NOISE - What happened?
- The bag dropped.
Who knows how you put it!
You don't have to put your
stuff on me, I have to drive.
- How is this wine?
- That's what you like.
- What colour is it?
- Red.
In the car you have to bring
the white one that does not stain.
They capped it with paper. If it
overturns, we throw the car away.
There should be a stopper.
I knew it! Damn!
- Do they stain peaches? No!
- Luckily!
Nino, the level crossing.
- Stop braking!
- Don't you brake?
- The machine does not respond!
- Like? - What are we doing?
- Hold on!
- I'll throw it downstairs! - No!
- Mum!
- Where is the spirit?
Haven't you brought it?
- It's nothing, I'm not hurt.
- You didn't bring the spirit!
Giovanna, tell the truth,
you didn't bring the spirit!
- No, it's under the dashboard.
- Ah, luckily!
- Let me see, Mom.
- It's nothing, don't be scared.
You are kind, Nino, but
there is no need, look.
Does she still wear
lipstick at his age?
Look here!
Let's continue with
the section "The dish of the day".
It's 10.30 and we
have to worry about lunch.
At the market
you buy a kilo of peppers...
- Yet?
- I'm choking.
Mom, don't overdo the
wine, the pressure rises.
The pressure! I have to deflate the
wheels a little, otherwise they'll blow!
Come on, dude, come on.
- I'm not saying to you, but to the dog.
- Where is he? - Behind the car.
What are you doing back here?
There is the tree, do you have
to do it right on my wheels?
Here, a piece of bread.
Go eat it over there.
Here they come.
We have to go away.
Let's go, otherwise
we get clogged up.
- Come on, Giovanna.
- I still have to eat fruit.
Eat it at home, walk!
Go, go wild, young like
today you don't walk anymore.
- What time is it?
- 11.45 am. At one o'clock we are home.
We are in compliance
with the timetable.
But returning to Rome
at this time we cook!
He does not mind. He makes us
get up with the chickens, makes us
have lunch at 11 and makes us
leave with the "bite in the mouth".
Was it better to go back
to "walking pace" tonight?
- I don't want to melt the engine!
- This car hurts you.
To me? Are you kidding? I
am not a slave to the machine!
When you had to choose between a
son and the 600, you chose the 600!
That's enough! I didn't bring
you to undergo all this chatter!
The car hurts me, you could
have stood in front of me.
No, I put it like this to
distribute the weight.
She is heavier and has to be
in front where there is no engine
and you behind in the middle.
Running-in is an important thing.
And then the seat next to the
driver is the most dangerous one.
It is Sunday, but in the semi-deserted
city there are those who do not sleep.
Stop!
Would you like it like this?
Make no mistake, the anti-fine
windshield wiper has not
yet been invented nor will
it be invented very soon.
Excuse me, I got
distracted for a moment.
In this case, if I, a pedestrian,
get distracted, it doesn't matter.
Instead...
Damn!
- Why did you hit the wall?
- Because I'm an idiot.
Don't get angry.
Distraction can cause
the driver more trouble.
Look what happened to the
accountant Achille Pestani
one evening when he
went to the cinema to relax.
Is there anybody there?
Where are you?
Constantine!
Help!
Let's open the chest.
With his
evil power he makes fun of death.
Excuse me, do you
have a match, please?
This is the proof.
Let his soul rest in peace.
And how?
The inscription on the icon indicates
only one way, and now
the spell is finally broken.
But what does it do? Does
my hand burn? Be careful!
The trouble with the accountant
Pestani originated from the
fact that he owned a gray
1800s parked outside the cinema.
Another perfectly alike
had stopped beside him.
Here is the pharmacy, ma'am.
Thank you. It's one of my
usual attacks. Buy these drops.
If I pass out, let me drink them.
20 drops. Please, Giovanni.
- Well, ma'am.
- Hurry up.
Where are the keys?
Here they are, what a fool!
Sooner or later they will steal my car.
(I turn off the light...
Actually, I don't turn it off.
Not because I'm afraid, I've
seen so many films like this!)
Lady, what are you doing
in my car? He feels bad?
Answer, lady!
My goodness!
Lady, can I touch you?
Please answer me. Can I help
you? Is there anything I can do?
A token, please.
You are having
an affair with a married woman.
(You have been to Germany
and brought a camera
- without paying customs.
- But everyone does it. - Bad! Bring him inside.)
- Here's the token.
- No, thanks, I've changed my mind, I'm not calling anymore.
(In Italy they hold you
for a pack of foreign
cigarettes, let alone
for a national corpse!)
(You are alone and
they are four, and
since the majority
wins, you confess.)
Excuse me, Nero's Tomb?
- The Tomb of Nero - The tomb of Nero?
- Yes, the restaurant.
- I thought you were talking about the cemetery.
- Why, do I look like Dracula?
- No.
- Thanks anyway.
You will say that this
too is an extreme case.
Usually a motorist does not
transport a dead old lady, but
a beautiful live girl and
takes her to the countryside.
- Stand still! - Come on!
- Do not touch.
"I don't touch."
- No, I'm looking for the lever.
- What leverage?
- That of the folding seat.
- No, the folding seat is not!
- See how it works.
Ah, honey!
Will you turn me on, please?
Yes, yes.
Immediately.
- Are you excited? - No...
- Don't worry, I won't eat you.
I know.
- It's stiff, right? - Thing?
- This north wind.
I am half naked, I have
nothing underneath!
- Can I come in? - No!
- Are you afraid I will dirty it?
Sorry, I didn't see
you have company!
She is already lying down,
she is also trying to hide.
But that could be
your mother, instead
you would have found
all fresh stuff here.
Hello, handsome young man.
Back and forth,
what a great fun!
Back and forth...
Damn the corpses!
Sorry.
Damn, how the corpses weigh!
This must be a fake lean.
(A nice dip in the freezing
water, then the current,
the rapid, the sea. Nobody
will recognize it anymore.)
I have a cold...!
Okay, I must have been drinking...
Oh, sorry. In short...
It doesn't seem like...
Hello, night partner.
Are you coming to drink with me?
Come?
You do not answer?
Hey!
You do not answer?
How dare you? This is my wife.
- Go away.
- You didn't mean to steal it.
- I wanted to offer you a drink, but
she abstains.- Then you go home.
No! I go where I want.
Long live the freedom!
Eventually she'll get
pneumonia and I'll die too.
Have you seen, dear?
I come here to fish.
I got that two-pound pike
here. Do not you believe it?
I was right here. Look.
- Sir.
- What's up? -Why didn't she put the triangle on?
- The triangle?
- You have to put it on when she
stops with the car.- she's right.
But I leave immediately, I showed
my wife where I fish on Sundays.
She wasn't convinced, she
wanted to see the exact point.
- Another time put the triangle.
- Yes, yes.
Come on, dear.
Sorry.
Do you remember the couple Pussi and Pissi?
The 500 that's coming is theirs.
The two spouses, always in
agreement, are taking a trip to Chieti.
We have been walking for an hour
and there is neither
a sign nor a town.
- You must have taken the wrong turn.
- You have the map.
If I drove, I
wouldn't need maps.
I know this area very well.
I was engaged to a noble
landowner who lived here.
There were grandfather's estates.
- Show me the map.
- Here, you rogue!
I can't go wrong, the
streets are marked in blue.
No, the ones marked
in blue are the rivers!
Why do they mark them?
Who goes there by car?
Damn, we needed this too!
Your "cip" product craze!
- That's why we are stopped, there is no more engine!
- Stay behind!
- There is no more petrol.
- Now what do we do? - What are we doing!
The phone is 4 kilometers away.
You stay here, I'm going to get help.
So a killer comes, kills me
and your dreams come true.
Maybe a killer comes along,
at least we know where we are.
- Then you go.
- I can't walk, I have a fragile metacarpal.
- I could hitchhike.
- If someone looks at you, they won't stop.
Rude!
Crazy!
Go away, cat!
Away, cat!
- John... John...
The medicine...- she's alive. It's alive!
- Madam, what's going on?
- The drops...
- The drops? I know, unfortunately it's raining.
- 20 drops...
- What drops?
- Giovanni has the recipe... The pharmacy on the Corso...
- Quick, sir.
- Yes, I'll carry it.
Come on, I'll bring it right away.
Damn, it weighs!
I went back to the car
park and it was gone.
Here she is! But she is back!
And there is also the lady!
- What happened?
- I don't know, I passed out.
The drops?
Thanks, I'm better now.
- She doesn't know where she's been.
- This story is unclear.
- Let's go back to the police station.
- But I have already explained to you... - Follow us.
I don't understand anything!
- What happens?
- I have to work it, I have to do the strips.
But go...!
Back and forth, back
and forth, life is all here.
- Bepi, are you asleep?
- No, I'm awake.
- This is the good zone.
- Which area?
That's where the hookers are,
the women of the truck drivers.
I don't feel like it, I'm sleepy.
If we find one, I'll
let her wake you up.
- Careful. - What's up?
- Here she is.
Good evening.
- Good evening.
- I made some signals, did I hurt? - No.
Because of my husband, I found
myself in the middle of the road.
Do not tell me anything, otherwise
I will soften and do nothing.
- Hold on to me, otherwise "griffins".
- Like? - Fall.
No, thanks, I have a lot of balance.
- Good evening.
- I don't know anything, I'm sleepy.
- Am I okay?
- Yes, it's this direction.
- We are simple.
- Do not worry,
I have a great open mind.
I supported the left turn,
for me we are all the same.
- I, you, him, his wife..
.- Let's leave my Annetta alone.
You are respectable people,
you work even at night!
- You don't work at night?
- unfortunately I'm a housewife.
- Where do I stop?
- 4 kilometers away.
- Why?
- Because there is a telephone.
- Find a friend for you.
- I don't feel like it, I'm sleepy!
- Fairy, how much do you want?
- Like?
- Are 2 "bags" good?
- Like?
- 2 thousand lire. Even for him.
- I'm sleepy!
Help, it's wrong,
I'd like to get off.
Please stop, I want to get off.
- Stop!
- Are you crazy?
What people you meet on the streets!
Ordinary! A lady in
trouble cannot ask for help.
And then what ways!
And let's not talk about the price!
2 thousand lire! A kilo of boiled meat!
HORN - No! Enough for tonight!
Pussi, do you want to kill me?
- It's you, Pissi! - Yes.
- But how did you do it?
I met a driver who
gave me some petrol.
- Look what you did!
- Pissi.
Get in the car, hitchhiker!
- Pissi?
- Huh?
- How much do girls who "make life" pay?
- I do not know.
They even say a million.
Bullshit! The best 2 thousand lire.
- First name! - "or Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
- I understand.
- Like?
- "or Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
Brade-den...
- Ugo Bratislaskoskaiaberg.
- Sorry!
For this time we leave it alone,
but if he does it again fine. Go.
What are those doing? Hey, you!
Forward! You go away.
Forward!
Do you know what I do?
A fine to all!
Stop! Come here!
- Are you looking for his car?
- I don't have a car and I never will.
I am looking for a friend. Here it is.
Anselmo, be careful when you
put it away with greasy hands,
- all fingerprints remain!
- Rest assured.
Wait, can't you hear a whistle?
Yes, it's the kid.
- He's been warming up for 5 minutes. Can I go away?
- Yup.
Here are the keys.
I recommend the fingerprints.
- See you later.
- Goodbye, accountant.
The engine is straining,
I would put the third.
- He cut his way!
- Sure, he has red stripes!
Cars with red stripes
are the nastiest!
- They don't eat, but they have a car.
- I would send them all on foot!
- Me in jail!
- Quite right.
They don't see us and
give them a license.
- Good morning.
- Did you have fun by the sea yesterday?
- I prefer dressed women.
- at your age...!
- Good morning.
- It's all about the money.
- You could have come to the movies with me.
- No, that movie was a "pizza"!
- Good morning.
- Thanks, Gaetano.
- Did you go to Terracina yesterday?
- Yes, how much does the car consume!
Buy the 600. I do it 17
kilometers with a liter.
- Does your "drink" a lot?
- Like? My wife is almost a teetotaler.
- What do we care about your wife!
- The boss is here, he's nervous.
See you later.
- Good morning, engineer.
- Good morning, engineer.
- You, come to me for a moment.
- Right away, engineer.
Miss, tell Ambrosi that
when ordering the cheese...
- Permission?
- Forward. Don't send it normal.
- Yes, as for abroad. He should sit down.
- Thank you, engineer.
- You have a car, right?
- Yes, a 600.
I got it in installments.
It's small, but it's okay with me.
Borsetti, you know that I like to say
"bread with bread and wine with wine".
- You can feel comfortable with me.
- Well, we won't waste time.
On Saturday, on leaving here, I found
my Mercedes with a bump like this.
- There are so many rascals!
- Are you insured?
Of course, with everything
going on, you have to be foresight.
Good. She will tell her
assurance of her that
she hit my car, so they
will pay me the damage.
- But it wasn't me.
- I know, this is about insurance.
I understand and you are
right, whoever hits, pays.
Your assurance will
have nothing to object to.
Yes, she should pay for the
insurance of the person who hit her.
- But I don't know who it was. Do you pay the insurance?
- Yup.
- So?
- But if it wasn't me...
If she did it, the
insurance company will
believe her, assess
the damage and that's it.
Engineer, I'll forget
what you told me.
- I'm sorry but I can not.
- Why? - It's a lie.
Borsetti, what world do you live in?
They all do it!
She just has to tell her assurance
of her that she bumped me.
- But it wasn't me.
- Sure, otherwise
- I wouldn't be here wasting time!
- Yeah.
- Did I wake you up?
- Looks like a tarantula bit you.
You turn around all the time.
- I don't want to talk to the insurance people.
- Do as you like.
I don't remember anything,
not even what I ate today!
- What did I eat today?
- Pasta with peas.
Have you seen?
I remembered yesterday's potatoes.
In my opinion you are wrong.
It suits you. You will become friends
with her, in your work she serves.
They run whoever they want.
- Your colleagues will envy you.
- I don't want to do it!
I don't understand you, no
misfortune has happened to you.
- You will never have such an opportunity again.
- I can't do it!
I was so happy
because I had the car!
You can never rest assured.
Don't mess with investments!
I don't want to go to
jail now that I have a car!
- Well, he'll tell you what to say.
- Thank you.
- You will say that on the way to the office...
- I come before you.
But I stay longer,
I have the right.
Sure, but others can betray me.
Then she'll say it happened
while she was getting out of here.
- But I never come to the office with the car.
- Bad!
From tomorrow you will
come to the office with the car.
All right, engineer.
Have you seen how insurance
companies scam themselves?
The automobile weakens the
body and also the conscience.
When do you need a spare
part, where do you buy it?
In a shop? Poor innocents!
Why is trade so thriving
in this strange market?
Gentlemen motorists,
you increase it.
Yet you know that the goods
are supplied by guys like these two.
We have already seen them in action.
I don't know you,
but I want to test you.
Have you heard?
He wants to test us.
The professor and the moron,
specializing in theft of cars.
The arm and the mind,
the cat and the fox.
- Romeo and Juliet.
- Shut up, you're illiterate.
We are referenced, in
Agrigento everyone knew us.
- Why did you go away?
- Because they all knew us.
- The police too.
- I can trust?
Mizzica! Four-wheel
theft, sedan specialties.
- Tell him about that Sunday of the bus.
- What happened?
- Like? - I haven't read it. - What?
- "The Sunday of the courier".
Deficient! That
Sunday we stole the bus!
Ah, we sold the seats
to a local cinema.
Okay, I want to trust.
The tires are enough for me.
You steal a car, take off
the tires and bring them here.
Now go.
It is not easy, but the opportunity is
good, we must not make mistakes.
Danger is our job.
Remember when you made
the pole near the garage?
You looked like a real pole.
The night watchman didn't even
notice and neither did the dogs!
I noticed it myself.
However we have had
many failures and now
there is the first test
here on the continent.
Furthermore, the disadvantage
is that we do not know the area.
Professor, I know
Rome like my mother.
Has your brain gone into action?
Your eyes sparkle as if
they were "phosphorous".
- Eureka! - Where is it?
- No, I found it!
Here is the 500 of Pussi and Pissi.
But this time you will
have a surprise. Drive her.
The bus left, there was room.
No, I need space to maneuver.
- But we have been walking around the building for 20 minutes!
- You're bored with me!
Here, there is a place. Wait.
- Unfortunate!
- Excuse me, be patient.
- Damn you!
- To you and your grandfather!
Sorry!
I'm looking for a valet. I'll give
him the keys and he'll take care of it.
- No, they are exploiters.
- Valet!
Here we are!
- Fix it. I'll be right back.
- Yes Madam.
- What are you doing?
- This should be done by the valets!
Why is he looking at the tires?
I check the state in which
the vehicle is entrusted to us.
It seems strange to me, these
two have the face of thieves.
She offends us! We are
two authorized car attendants.
- Pissi, these things are not said.
- Here we go.
Two caps and that's
it. I have to admit, you
have a "telefunken"
brain, other than an "arm"!
- I don't even deserve
to be your foot.
We have to get to the periphery.
- You said you know the area.
- I know Rome like my mother!
Direction prohibited.
We take that road there.
They closed all the roads!
It seems to me the siege of the Alcazar!
When did you last come to Rome?
When I was "son of the wolf".
What do we do now? What does
your brain say to TRANSISTOR?
- Let's go out in reverse.
- Marconi was an electrician compared to you!
- Hurry up.
- If my mind doesn't fail me...
If my arm does not betray me, with
two swerves we will be out of Rome.
They always seem
the same streets to me.
I respect your "household
appliance" brain,
but I repeat that I know
Rome like my mother.
But this is not the campaign,
we are at the starting point!
Thanks to the valets,
the car is where we left it.
You said they had the face
of thieves, instead... Thanks.
20 lire! You are my shame!
- You knew Rome like your mother!
- It's not my fault I'm an orphan!
- That's enough. That's enough!
- Teacher!
Poor things, those are
predestined to go to jail.
Not because they
are inexperienced or
unlucky, but because
they play the small game.
In Italy, to stay calm, you
have to join the big game.
- But this has nothing to do
with our investigation.
Come on, I'll break your face!
I'll give you two eyes like that!
Who do you break the face of?
Don't worry, they
won't hit each other.
They will exchange the addresses
of their insurance companies,
without all those scruples
that torment Nino Borsetti.
I don't know how it happened,
I'm sorry, maybe it's tiredness.
After a morning of work.
You must understand, sir,
it was almost two o'clock.
Nino, the bathroom light.
What do you say, am I okay?
Review the hours well,
otherwise you are wrong.
It was about two and
three minutes, and I
had lingered with
some friends at the door.
Suddenly I heard a horn sound.
I turned around, it was the car
that was parked in front of mine.
I started the engine, the
gear was in gear and I hit it.
- Need an eyewitness?
- Like? - Eyewitness.
- What did you see?
- If you want, I've seen it all. - No, thanks.
Tell me where the accident
happened and I say I've seen it all.
- No, thanks.
- Only 2 "bags". - No thanks.
- How far was the distance?
- About two meters.
- Even more.
- Yes, about.
You have to be precise, even
five centimeters are important.
Excuse me, Dr. Brandi...
I was aboard my Appia,
registered Rome 544178.
- I came from the right... Excuse me!
- No, sorry, she comes from the right!
So, I was coming from the right...
It is not just about compensation for
damages, but about the Criminal Code!
The man you hit died in the
hospital yesterday morning.
- What do you want?
- The expert Brandini.
- Go to the counter.
- Thank you.
- What did he die of?
- Not measles, she hit him!
- Yup?
- It's Borsetti.
Ah, she is Borsetti!
She jokes, he is a humorist!
- Excuse me...
- Handbags! - I'm here.
Put a signature here.
- Have you signed?
- No, I would like to explain...
- Say, but hurry up.
- Yes. It was three minutes past two...
I am very busy, don't
worry, everything is fine.
I speak to the engineer. Sign.
Thank you.
So, are you all right?
One at a time, please.
That gentleman bought
his car a few hours ago.
Now he comes here to impress
his girlfriend Eliana's parents.
His name is Valentino
and like his eponymous
character in the poem he
dressed up "all over again".
He's also a little excited.
Eliana, your suitor is
about 7 minutes late.
Strange, Valentino is precise,
punctual, even meticulous.
- Is he a decent person?
- Yes mom.
Dance the twist, la-la-l?.
- What is he doing?
- I was trying to get into my car.
- From the window?
- I have no other choice.
- What about the keys?
- I'm inside and the double ones are in the drawer.
- Show a document.
- Aaahh!
She asks me for a document,
but my hand is stuck and it hurts.
In the other I have flowers.
Either I held flowers or
she takes the documents.
- Registration certificate.
- He's inside and the car is locked.
- And you would like to go in, right?
- Yup.
- Come with me.
- You're crazy! - Thing?
No... I mean, I don't
have time, I'm already late.
- How do I do it with my hand?
- So! - Ouch!
Not my hand, I have to
ask for my girlfriend's hand!
- I do not care!
- But I've been waiting for this moment for years!
- Here we go! - Put your hands down.
- Do you want a scandal? - No.
- Then let's go.
- I have to go, I'm late. - Get in!
My girlfriend is waiting for me!
- Giovanna.
- She How did you go?
- Well. - Did you answer everything?
- Yes, don't worry.
- Borsetti, the engineer wants it.
- I'll come right away.
She wants me the
engineer, surely to thank me.
- Ask him for the raise.
- Immediately? No!
- Don't do the usual!
- Okay, I'll ask him.
KNOCK ON DOOR - Come on.
- Good morning, engineer.
- Dear Borsetti! Please, take a seat.
Thanks, I'm standing.
- Because of the insurance business...
- It's all right.
There are some
details to perfect.
- Details?
- Don't be scared, it's nothing serious.
I could get her
to do a deal too.
- The expert said...
- I knew it was going to end badly!
Don't talk nonsense! Let me finish.
The expert is on our side.
He told me that it is not
dignified to exaggerate.
- Do we want fools to believe us?
- I would never dare!
Borsetti, but what a combination!
Would she have bumped my
car like that and nothing about her?
- Indeed...
- A little logic!
We must be realistic,
as the expert says.
- A tap on the 600...
- Like a tap?
CT scan! And everything is fine.
She pays mine, I pay her and
the insurance pays both of them.
He saw? If you listen to
me, you can make some deals.
Sure.
It's ready.
Nino, the pasta is on the table.
If these are not eaten
immediately, they become bad.
Wait!
I put the fried
garlic, as you like it.
Taste them, feel how good they are.
Don't do that, think about us.
He'll give you the raise and we'll get better.
Even if they hit your
car, then they fix it.
Reply!
What should I answer?
You can not understand.
You are a woman, you cannot understand.
It is as if someone said
to take an eye out of
my son and that the
mutual fund pays him back.
And you make money as well!
You earn, but you still have
the son with the glass eye.
I understand that you
are sorry, but this is life!
We must resign ourselves.
I don't
want to resign myself.
They mustn't touch my car!
All right, my
love, don't give up.
- Let's see what can be done.
- Too bad, it's new!
- Let's give him a blow here.
- No, there it doesn't justify the collision.
He has to take a hit
here and ruin this part.
- It's the rear-end collision of a Mercedes!
- All right.
- Then we also ruin the electrical system.
- Yes.
Sorry, what have you decided to do?
- She wasn't supposed to come.
- But it must not be destroyed,
- Just a small blow.
- We must justify the rear-end collision.
- I understand, but I'm afraid you are exaggerating.
- Don't worry.
Accountant, look. She
asked me for that horn...
They have begun! Cowards!
- What's up?
- He passed out.
- Courage. It's nothing.
- Don't hurt him.
- It's done. - It's all over.
Let me see it.
Kill!
Pussi, that whistled at you.
Don't be jealous.
So many men whistle
when I walk down the street!
- But he was a policeman.- I
don't make class distinction.
Even if you are an accountant, you
must not despise an honest worker.
- Only 12 thousand, did you see?
- What?
- That brown bag.
- Pussi!
Love, don't distract
me, I'm driving.
- Will you buy it for me? - Sure.
- Thanks, you're a treasure.
Are you cold, what is it?
Are you sleepy?
- Help!
- What a fool! At his age he jumps like a child!
Dear, is something wrong?
What are you thinking about?
- Is there another woman?
- No, I only think of you.
But you're acting weird.
- The truck!
You say gibberish. You're about
to have a nervous breakdown.
You have a glassy eye.
- Pussi, a car comes at us.
- You have visions!
- A car comes at us!
- Thing?
- We avoided it!
- It's his fault, he wasn't right.
- Yes, it is.
- No, he was on the same side as me.
It is you who are on the left!
- You don't trust me.
- When you're behind the wheel, no.
If there is no trust there is no esteem,
and if there is no esteem there is no love.
- I don't understand why you married me.
- Yeah, why? Boh!
Okay, you don't love me anymore.
But I will not hinder you.
- I'll leave you, get out of your life.
- See you later.
Pussi, what are you doing? Are you crazy?
- I want to die, so you learn!
- But so you make me die too!
- It's what I want.
- You're crazyyyy!
- Coarse!
- Now stop!
Here it is!
- Give me the key back.
- No!
- I want the key.
- Witch! - Boor!
- Milanese!
- This I do not forget!
- Give me the key back!
- You make me laugh!
- Hello, beautiful, I salute you!
- Good night.
Ah-ah! Not this time!
Hopefully this time
we get to see it.
This morning he made us
wait for an hour and 35 minutes.
- Eliana, is she really a serious person?
- Yes mom!
Pretty little girl,
take this keychain.
See the black stick?
You introduce it here and open.
You get in the car and open the
door so I can free
this damn tie. Here.
- What are you giving me?
- Little thug.
- I'll buy you an ice cream.
- No, I want the flowers.
No, I can't give them to you, they're mine.
I'll give you some pennies so
you can put it in the piggy bank.
- No, I want the flowers.
- I can't give them to you, they're mine!
I'll take you to a beautiful
meadow and help you pick flowers.
Be a good girl.
Luckily! You understand everything?
What are you going to do with those keys?
- I'll throw them in the lake.
- Good... Aaahh!
Delinquent! The keys!
If I catch you I'll throw you in the lake!
Aaahh!
Delinquent!
The keys! My keys!
Here they are!
Damn, that's not it.
This boyfriend of yours is impossible.
8 minutes late.
I don't understand,
Valentino is so polite!
He will have wasted time getting
dressed and looking good, he cares a lot!
Happy day!
- Valentine! - Is he Valentino?
- An accident happened to me.
Madam, I offer you these
flowers with all my heart.
- Eliana, let's go.
- Let me explain.
I arrived, closed the door and
the key remained in the car.
Then a little girl came and
I asked her to help me...
- There he is.
- The tie got caught...
- Where did you want to take my daughter?
- Here's the girl with the keys!
- I gave her the keys...
- And you wanted her to come count! - Like?
But what do you think?
Say what happened.
She-she Wanted to offer me ice cream.
- Yes, but as long as...
- He came in the car with you.
- Degenerate!
- What are you saying?... Excuse me.
- She also wanted to give me some money.
- To my daughter?
- Let me explain.
- You tell the truth.- she wanted to
take me to a meadow to pick flowers.
- Here!
- To my daughter? I'll kill you!
- Come here!
- You leave me!
- What did you want to do to my daughter?
- Let me explain!
I had the tie inside, the
- "Take the keys..."
- What do I care about the keys! - Aaahh!
- It took me an hour to find them!
Now who takes them? - You!
Eeeh, calm down.
How many things can be seen!
The motorization creates
the crazy ones of the steering
wheel, the frantic of the speed,
the chronic nervous exhausts.
With the exception
of the peaceful Nino
Borsetti, the prudent,
cautious owner of the 600.
What is he doing?
Exceeds to the right, goes to
the left invading the
roadway opposite to him?
He's got the bad
car, with the red stripes!
Now he cuts off two
cars that have right of way!
And it continues at over
120 kilometers per hour!
He has also become
a pirate of the road!
He learns to walk, then
you want to make me rich!
Hey! Take a shot!
San Gennaro, he really took it!
Ouch, the foot!
- But which foot? - This.
- But I was going at 30 per hour!
And then I come from the
right, I have the right of way.
I was on the strips.
These stripes endanger
the lives of motorists!
But it's her... ouch!
She's the one who hit me!
- Why don't you use the underpass?
- Here she is not there.
So stay home! Where do you go on
foot? You look like so many chickens!
- Now you give me the license plate number.
- It's there, you take it.
- A million!
- Give it to Mr. Bonaventura!
- My..
.- How about him?
- Are you a pedestrian?
- Yes why?
Call a policeman.
We have to help each other.
- Call the policeman?
- Yes. - Come here. - Ouch!
- Come with me.- I can't.
- Sit back.
It is useless to call the policeman...
Please, that's our business!
I am familiar
with car accidents.
Watch the sidewalk.
The brigade is not
needed, I am insured
- and she broke her foot.
- It's not broken.
If she says that she is just a retort,
the insurance gives her 10 thousand lire.
- Are you a footballer?
- Surveyor.
Surveyors need their feet too.
- Permanent invalidity, S.C...
- S.C.?
"If no complications arise".
She takes a million, half for one...
- Nino, it ends badly.
- Let me work!
In the last accident, where
we lost my lady's mom...
- Condolence.
- They are pains, but... 3 million.
- Well... - Look.
- What should I do?
"Ouch, the foot"!
- Ouch, the foot! Half for one? - Sure.
- If they notice...
- No, a signature is enough.
Go down... If your foot
is broken, you don't have to strain it!
- Here is the policeman.
- Ouch, the foot!
I'm wrong, it was me.
He was on the strips and I ran
over him. He gets the report.
I got ruined!
He who knows how much he will have to pay!
NOT AUDIBLE VOICES