I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1977) - full transcript

- It's pretty.
- Yes.

All those trees.

Should I help her out?

I don't think so.

Deborah? Deborah?

Mr. and Mrs. Blake?

Yes. We're here
to see Dr. Fried.

Yes, if you'll just take
a seat for a minute, please.

Thank you.

Dr. Fried.

Dr. Fried, the Blakes are here.



Very good.

They're waiting in reception.

Doctors have ethics.

Of course.

If they find it's a mistake,
I'll stay home right away.

Of course they will.

Just can't seem to reason for it.

We've been through this
so many times. I thought...

Mr. and Mrs. Blake?
Dr. Fried will see you now.

I'll be back for Deborah
in a minute.

Follow me, please.
We're going through the garden.

Do you work with Dr. Fried?

No, I'm a student nurse.

There's a whole group of us
training here.



Can I get you anything, Deborah?

A cup of coffee?
A Coke?

Oh, suffer now, victim.

But remember now our basic law.

Not a word of us to anyone.

Not a word of our sacred words.

Deborah?

Shall we go upstairs now?

Shall we go?

Come on.

Debbie.

Very good.

This way.

You don't like to be touched.
I'll remember that.

Come along, dear.

Your room's down here.

That's Sarah.
You'll meet each other later.

Obey, but betray nothing.

- Nothing, nothing...
- This is your room.

You're sharing it with Clara.

- Carla.
- Hi.

I got the report from
the ward doctor, Deborah.

You don't have to keep
calling me Deborah.

- I know who I am.
- I'll remember that too.

You don't like to be touched,

and you know who you are.

Now you can go out into the
grounds by yourself if you like.

But you mustn't leave
the premises.

- Is that clear?
- Clear as day.

All right.

Take care of that cold, Carla.

Don't worry, you'll get
more privileges soon.

If you work hard with your
doctor, they ease up a little.

Does anybody ever get out of here?

You mean get well and leave?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Do you smoke?

See?

Not now.

Okay. Okay.

Pamela's going to walk you
up to Dr. Fried's cottage.

She's a wonderful person.

Deborah...

It'll be all right, sweetheart.
I promise you.

- Baby...
- No!

Mrs. Blake, Dr. Fried's waiting.

Now, please,
I'll call you tonight.

Deborah, it's up this way.

Come on.

You have any hobbies, Deborah?

Do you have any hobbies?

Sure, didn't they tell you?
Suicide.

How many times have you tried
to kill yourself?

Once.

How many times have you tried?

I'll be back for you
in an hour, Deborah.

It's a trap, Deborah.

Where's the wonderful doctor?

Spying? Peephole?

She'll probe into your brain.

Deborah!

Deborah.

I am with you now and forever.

Remember our prophecy.

They will leave you here,

leave you here with her for life.

Protect yourself.

Do not betray us.

Protect yourself.

Do not betray us.

- Hello, Deborah.
- Protect yourself.

I'm Dr. Fried.

Please, come in.

Would you like some coffee?

It's a very nice day.

Do you want to lie down?

I thought it was expected.

We only expect you to get well.

Hmm.

I see.

You ask the questions,
I answer them.

Then you tell me
I only imagined those things.

Your sickness is real.

Very real.

Tell me what you're thinking.

Sigmund Freud.

"Sigmund." You know what
that means?

- Mm-hmm.
- "Powerful mouth."

That's what he died of, you know.

Cancer of the mouth.

Next question.

Do you know why you're here?

Clumsiness is at the top
of the list.

And then we have lazy,

self-centered, tactless,
mean, obstinate,

imaginary pains, fake dizziness.

Also, I'm unfriendly.

That's quite a list.

Now, I don't know
if I can agree with all of it,

but if that's true,

we have a lot of work to do.

It's always the same.

They want to make me friendly,

fill me with happy lies,
take away my symptoms,

send me home.

Then what will I have left?

I don't want you to do anything
against your will,

or give up anything
until you're ready.

But I have a feeling
we can work together.

Would you like to try?

No.

Well, I'm sorry.

Maybe I asked too soon.

So tell me something
about your life

before today.

Hasn't my mother told you?

Yeah, she told me what she knows,

but not what you know.

For instance?

The tumor.

She knows as little about that
as I know about you.

What do you know about me?

You read detective stories.

That's true.

I like that.

You see...

the urethra is a tube

with a very delicate membrane.

It extends from the bladder
to the outside of the body.

I know.

You know, but you can't
imagine the pain.

How old were you?

Five.

The doctors all
shook their heads over it.

They wheeled me
in the operating room,

and when I asked them where
I was, they said, "Dreamland."

And I asked them,

"Why do you keep telling me
such horrible lies?"

And then this one doctor said,

"We're going to fix your doll
up real fine.

This won't hurt a bit, honey."

But it felt like they were going
to murder me.

Dreamland.

I could tell them all
something about dreamland.

Idiots. Stupid idiots.

Will they never learn
not to lie to children?

No, they'll never learn.

What did your mother
and father say?

My father brought me there
without even consulting me,

like I was this object
to be taken apart,

scrubbed and cleaned
and put back together again.

Anyway, I never lost that tumor.

Do you believe that...

that tumor could be punishment?

Uparu punishes us all.

"Upari"?

Trait, trait,

traitor, traitor.

Traitor. Traitor.

Traitor.

Traitor.

Fear nothing and they will feel only us.

Feel nothing or they will
feel nothing, and they will...

Feel nothing or they will feel nothing,

and they will feel only us,
feel nothing or they will...

Feel nothing or they will feel nothing,

and they will feel only us.

Aren't you very young
to be in a place like this?

This is an evil place.

Are you a virgin?

What is this place?

Ward D.

"D" for "disturbed," honey.

Scared?

You should be.

I've been raped every night
since I came here.

I'm Lee.

I was a nurse here.

I worked on this ward.

Now I'm a psychotic, like you.

Hey, I heard you cut up your arm
real good with that tin can.

Blood all over the sheets
when they found you.

It is you, isn't it?

It's certainly me.

- How did you...?
- All right.

Tin Can Kid here
has an important visitor,

so everyone else
out to the dayroom.

Oh, good.
If it's important, Hobbs,

then I can lay my case before him.

- Yeah, out.
- All right, but show manners.

Hobbs may work here,

but he's just another
fucking psychotic, honey.

All right, all right, all right.
Be gentle, I'm sick.

Dawn. I'll be shot at dawn.

I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm still getting used to it!

Deborah.

How do you feel?

This is the happiest moment
in my life.

Leave me alone.

I don't want to leave you alone.
I want to know why you did this.

You're making it very difficult
for both of us

if you don't talk to me.

I'm going to ask you again
when you feel a little better.

I'll see you soon.

Attagirl. That's my girl.

A few more feet.

That's it. Right here.

Attagirl.

You just sit here

and stare at the Tin Can Kid.

I see a great move for you, kid.

That's the one.

Hey, Hobbs.

Hobbs?

You have big muscles.

Big keys.

How big is your tool, honey?

You interested?

Come on, show us your tool.

Pull it out.

I can assure you,
it's enormous and ruthless.

Stop it.

You're just going
to have to imagine,

because you ain't ever
gonna get it.

I don't want it!

It's got to be diseased,
like your mind!

Excuse me, sir,

but I really must lay my case
before the Supreme Court.

Why don't you just lay
the Supreme Court?

You're not properly placed.

You're not properly placed.

Ignore her, honey.
She's a fucking psychotic.

You bother me.
Get away from me.

You bother me.

Wherever I am,
you are right in front of me.

Now, remove yourself.

Why do you want to see it?

I want you to see it.

That scar is going to stay there.

Do you think you'll tell me
today why you did it?

I had to.

Uh-huh.

I'm poisonous.

In what way, poisonous?

Things I touch are poisoned.

People I get near.

Like my sister.

I tried to kill her
when she was a baby.

Will you tell me about it?

I went to the crib,

and tried to throw her
out the window.

That's all.

Wait, the window was open?

No.

I went to the crib first.

And then I went to the window,
to open it.

I was just going to drop her off
when my mother walked in.

Did she punish you?

No.

No one ever mentioned it again.

Six-year-old girl
lifts up a heavy baby

from her cradle,

carries the baby to the window,

open the window wider.

Just when she's ready to drop her,

her mother comes in.

But she's not scared
or frightened.

Does that seem possible to you?

I remember it.

I think you hated her so much,

you wanted to kill her.

Go back into that room,

look at your sister in her cradle,

and think.

What happened?

What do you feel?

Angry.

And...

scared.

Could you lift up the baby

over the bars?

I didn't even touch her.

Deborah.

You can trust me.
I won't betray you.

Prove it.

I can only prove it the long,
hard way.

Time.

You must give me time.

Why should I give you anything?

I don't belong to you.

I don't belong to anybody
in this world.

Where do you belong?

Uri.

Uri?

Like weird?

Frightening?

Is that the name of your world?

Does it have its own language?

Like Upari?

Can you tell me any more?

You almost said one.

What?

Imore.

Imore?

What does it mean?

It means "death."

Don't ask me anything else.

Please.

Uparu!

Hey!

Hey!

Somebody!

Hey, you, what is this?

Hey! Somebody!

Hey! Hey!

Shh.

You'll wake the whole hospital.

How are you feeling?

Hot. I feel hot.

Body heat. Under here.

How long have I been
in this thing?

Usual: four hours.

Ready to come out?

Yes, please.

Okay.

Hobbs. Come here.

She's ready to come out.

Knicks, 14 points.
Fourth quarter.

Big deal.
You and basketball.

I'm golden.

All right, careful.

Open a vein, Hobbs.

- What?
- Your wrist.

Am I giving you ideas?

You know that yo-yo bit me?

I wonder what she tasted like.

Skunk, probably.

All right, cut it out, Debbie.
Cut it out.

Oh.

That's a nice scar.

That's for life, you know.

Yeah, just like your face.

Wait outside, Hobbs.

Get up? Hmm?

All right, take it easy.

Come on up.

Think you can walk,
or you want to take a cab?

I can walk.

All right, turn around.
Now, hold on to that table.

I'm going to take
this wet gown off of you.

So you don't catch cold.

All right, just a minute.

Okay, put your arms through here.

Listen, I want you to lay off
of Hobbs, you hear me?

Why? He's sick and he knows it,

and he takes it out on all of us.

Yeah, well, then you ought to
recognize someone else's trouble

when you see it.

You think you've got a corner
on suffering?

There you go.

Hello, gorgeous.

How you doing, Lee?

Hey.

- Nighty night.
- Mm-hmm, pleasant dreams.

Don't make her stand
in the damn line, Hobbs.

Get her sedative and have
somebody put her in the bath.

Milk her off, for Christ's sake!

- Never mind, Helene.
- Shut up.

Give me Blake.

- She's flipped.
- Oh.

Daffy Duck time.

Watch yourself.

Get somebody get him to sleep
right away.

You got it.

- Hobbs...
- Take a bath.

Toot, toot, toot, toot!

- Rape!
- No, no, not rape.

- Not rape.
- Rape!

- No, no, no.
- Rape. Rape.

- No, no, please...
- Rape! Rape!

Rape. Rape.

No, no, no.

Rape.

- Rape. Rape.
- No, no.

No, no, no, not rape.

It's love, not rape.

- No, no, no. Shh.
- Rape.

All right, Mr. McPherson.

Yes?

You can take me
anytime you want to,

because I'm too tired to resist.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hi.

When did you get here?

A couple hours ago.

I tried to hang myself.

See?

My mother shot me,

and my brother, and herself.

They all died, except me.

I like McPherson.

He treats you like a real person.

I'm sorry to have
kept you waiting.

- Hello.
- It's been a heavy day.

- How is Deborah?
- Can you take this?

I'll take care of it, Doctor.

It goes up and down.

Today, it's down.

What happened today?

That's the way it goes.

Sit down.

I have started to chip away
at her sickness.

But she has nothing yet
to put in its place.

She is in a kind of no-man's-land.

Doctor, can you tell us
what we can hope for?

We give her so much love and...

will she ever be able
to lead a normal life?

- Like other people?
- Yes.

I don't know.

I have to find out first what
kind of life she wants to lead.

Well, the life we gave her
wasn't so horrible.

Can we see her today?

I wouldn't advise it.

The way she looks now
might alarm you.

- I want to see her.
- Jay, the doctor said we can't.

I want to see her.
I have a right to see her.

If you insist.

I'll have her come down.

All right...

I don't want to see her.

Would you give these to her?

Of course.

Thank you.

That's nice.

I have a feeling.
Do you want to go along with me?

Do you think I'm capable?

Certainly.

Your basic knowledge
about yourself is sound.

Believe in it.

Your mother had a miscarriage

when you were very small.

And she went away.

I feel all that warmth gone now.

Cold.

That feeling comes back often.

And the bars of the crib...

that's what happens now.

When I'm waiting...

waiting to fall.

To fall.

And every time something makes
you remember the cold,

and the feeling
of being abandoned.

That experience colors
everything for you.

And helps you deep inside.

That's the way life is.
Who needs it?

That's not true.

She's putting on a loving
face to destroy you.

Look, there'll be no eating in the hall.

I don't want to see anybody
eating in this hall.

You take your plate
and you go back to your room.

You understand?

Move it along, please.

You're not properly placed.

Move along. That's right.

You're not properly placed.

Boring.

Boo! Dead.

Like to see my picture?

Dangerous. Dangerous.

That's not you.
It's Joan of Arc.

It's me playing Joan of Arc.
I loved her.

Yeah? Were you an actress?

Mm-hmm.

Boring.

Did you make any movies?

Just theater.
Never made Broadway.

The nearest I came was
Pittsburgh, for Christ's sake.

Pittsburgh.

What other kind of parts
did you play?

None of your business.

Move along. That's right.

Slob!

Slob!

All right, all right,
I'm here, I'm here.

All right, Helene, what happened?

Deborah tried to take
my lunch tray away!

All right, now did anyone
see what happened?

I did! I did!

Get her out.

Everybody, out of the hall.
Come on.

- Filthy slob!
- Come on, Helene.

Everybody out in the hall.
Come on, come on.

I got to clean you up
Come on, come on.

- No!
- Come on now, Deborah.

Let's go, come on.

Deborah.

This way.

Deborah!

Let's talk about the time
you tried to kill yourself.

Your mother told me she found you

sitting on the bathroom floor.

And you had cut your wrist.

And you were catching
the flow of blood

in a saucepan.

Later, she asked you why
you didn't just let the blood

run down the sink, and you said...

"So it wouldn't go
too far away."

Do you remember that?

It seems to me that moment
was a cry for help.

A cry that meant,

"I'm desperate.
I think I'm going crazy."

# I was a loser
Most all of my life #

# A broken boozer
Boozed up in fights #

# I look like a toad
But I feel like a queen #

# I should have had the blues
But what I sing is the greens #

# I never met a man
Who said he'd stay #

# No man would touch me
Even if I paid #

# So I bought myself a dog
He's the man of my dreams #

# I should have had the blues
But what I sing is the greens #

# That dog of mine
He treats me so mean #

# He locks me in the basement
So I can't be seen #

# But I'll be his dog
If he'll be my man #

# I should have had the blues
But what I sing is the greens #

Silly bitches.

That was wonderful, Lee.

Wasn't that nice?

Boring.

You know who was here
this time last year, don't you?

Who?

Miss Coral.

Silly bitch.

Who is Miss Coral?

Ah, she's a friend of ours.

Someone who got out!

This is before your time, honey.

I saw her throw a bed once.

She was stronger than Helene.

She was not.

All 90 pounds of her.

Real educated too.

No more than I am.

That old bird taught math,
geometry, trigonometry,

volumetry, optometry, astronomy.

You name it, she played it.

Then she goes out like a bird
through the fucking bars

and starts teaching again!

She's eating Christmas pies
right now!

Silly bitch.

Pack that in.

Damn it!

Pack that in!

You bitch. Get up.

Oh, goddamn it,
let me out of here!

Time to go.

Whore! The whore! Whore!

You bitch! You bitch!
You bitch!

McPherson!

Whore!

Hurry up.

All right, get everybody
out of here.

Get them back to the room.

Lee! Put it down!
Put it...

Put it down.

Get up here.

I haven't seen anything like this

since I was abducted
from the Ritz Hotel in London.

Get them out of here.

Get them out of here.

Come on.

Fire! No!

Fire! No! Fire! No!

I guess we're scared.

Huh?

Huh?

I guess we were scared

talking about Miss Coral.

What about her?

She got well, and...

and she went out.

Doesn't that scare you?

Huh?

Goddamn you,
you must be crazier than me,

because it runs in your family,

or what your crazy mother
left of it.

That was disgusting of me.

You're poisoning her.

You can try and hurt me
if you like.

Their vibrations
are poisonous. Cut them off.

It was true what you said
about Miss Coral...

Carla.

# Merry Christmas to all #

- I'm not ready.
- I know that.

But I have to take your pulse.

I said I'm not ready.

I said I have to take your pulse.

Aah!

Hmm.

Relax. Relax.

You're running cold, hon.

Poison him. Poison Hobbs.

You are poisoning...

Merry Christmas to you guys.

You're poisoning Hobbs.

Hobbs. Hobbs.

You are poisoning Hobbs.

Did you tell the ward doctor
about this?

Yes, and he said,

"Oh, really? Well, we'll have
to check into this."

That's what he always says
when he thinks

that we've imagined something.

And while Hobbs
was hitting Helene,

what did you do?

Did you cry out?

No.

I was scared that he'd hit me
if I did, so...

I'm a coward, you know.

No, I don't know that.

You don't think I imagined it,
do you?

No.

Someone should look into it.

But I don't run this hospital,
you know?

I have to write a formal
complaint in cases like this.

Can't you bring it up
at a staff meeting or something?

I will. I promise you, I will.
But I can't promise end result.

What can you promise?

You talk to me about getting well

and coming back to reality?

What good is your reality
if it doesn't do anything

about people like Hobbs?

I never promised you
a rose garden.

Will you bring it up
at a staff meeting about Helene?

Yes. I told you.

But I can answer only for myself.

Now you see what she really is.

Deborah, now you see
what she really is.

Deborah, now you see...

You sons of bitches!

You lice!

You vermin!

Cockroaches!

Hi, Miss Coral.

Hi, you old son of a bitch!

We're putting her in Seclusion 2.

She'll need an injection.

She can keep in her room.

Aren't you a bit young
to be up here?

You have the right
to be as crazy as anyone else.

Maybe you're right.

Let me go.

I'll go back.

Now, Miss Coral,
you better calm down,

or we have to strap you down.

All right, now,
you behave yourself,

and you can come out
in two or three days.

Get that sleeve.

If you let me have this one,

maybe I'll stay a week.

Oh, no, not another one.

I'm higher than a kite already.

Over the last 30 years
I've been analyzed, paralyzed,

shocked, jolted,

and revolted.

And here I am again.

Maybe I need a brain operation.

Now, Miss Coral,
we're going to leave you alone.

And I want you to get some rest.

Okay?

Okay. You can go ahead.

All right, I want about every 15
minutes for the next two hours,

and about every half-hour
for the next 40.

Okay.

And...

Where are you, goddamn idiot?

Forgot to lock the door.

Deborah, stay back.

You're of us.

Feel nothing of your world.

Deborah, go back.

Don't get close to anyone.

Their vibrations are poisonous.

Don't fight up.

Deborah...

Hello, nut.

Ready to rise and shine
and meet the day? Hmm?

My dear Hobbs,

the sight of your face
predisposes me

to remain in seclusion.

When did you last use a belt
in a buckle, Hobbs?

Is it true that you used
to teach geometry?

Yes. Yes, I did.

Hey, listen, you're not even
supposed to be in here.

So pick up your pants
and move out.

Thank you, Hobbs.

Could you teach me some sometime?

Well, I haven't been well.

She doesn't know geometry.

She can't tell a circle
from a square.

When? When could you
teach me?

I'll make a decision

when I've settled a few things
with my friend Hobbs.

I'll you later, pussycat.

Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, you bastard.

Ow!

Wilt thou be gone?

It is not yet near day.

It was the nightingale,
and not the lark,

that pierced the hollow...

the fearful, hollow...

Won't you make Miss Coral...?

Oh, two seconds.

Oh, honey, really.

What's the matter with you?

Get away.

Wait a minute.
I don't got no...

Not now.

We don't care about your sex life

and your loud orgasm...

What is it?

Hobbs!

Look in there!

Where are you, Deborah?

Are you angry with me?

Nag...

What does it mean?

Nag... fear.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have touched you.

Deborah.

Deborah.

She has the fire touch.

Deborah. Deborah.

She will destroy you
if you listen to her.

Didn't we warn you?
Why do you keep betraying us?

You will be punished, Deborah.

Hobbs is poison.
Hobbs is poison.

She will destroy you
if you listen to her.

You are not a them, you are us.
You are not a them, you are us.

You aren't with them.

Do not betray us.
You will be punished.

You will be punished.
Hobbs is poisoned by you.

Hobbs is poisoned by you, Deborah.

Deborah, you are of us.
You are of us.

Come on, Deborah.
Are you okay?

- Not yet.
- Come on.

Not only us. Not only us.

I am with you, Deborah.
I am with you.

I am with you, Deborah.

I am with you,
Deborah, now and forever.

Not again.

Look, I've just remembered.

Would you like to share?

Deborah, why don't you sit down

and do some geometry
with Miss Coral.

- Geometry.
- Now, now, look,

I've always regretted not having
learned to speak Chinese.

It's the most widely spoken
language in the entire world.

Over 500 million people speak it.

So if A equals B, how much is C?

Don't leave this stuff out.
It's very, very dangerous.

Oh, yes, it's very dangerous.

Very dangerous.

Oh, look, there's an important person.

I'd like to lay my case
before him.

Oh, that's Hobbs.

My chief rapist.

Oh, Christ, he's never satisfied.

Where is he going?

Where is he going?

Mr. Hobbs is leaving us.

What? What do you mean?

You mean...

You mean Hobbs
is leaving us forever?

You mean that beast Hobbs
is leaving us forever? Hobbs?

How did such a miracle happen?

Thank Mr. McPherson.

McPherson?

Yay, McPherson!

Hey, Hobbs!

Sayonara, sweetie!

Bon voyage, bimbo!

Goodbye, you funny fruit!

Take your tool home
and go fuck yourself,

if that's what you like!

Nuthouse case!

# Goodbye to you
Mr. Fool #

# Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye #

# Now you're gone, Mr. Fool
You're gone, you're gone #

Yeah?

Well, I'm out here
and you're up there!

A plus B minus A equals C.

A plus B plus C equals McPherson.

McPherson?

Thou shalt wash me
with hyssop, O Lord,

and I shall be cleansed
whiter than snow.

Fucking nuts!

Yay!

Bye! Bye!

Bye!

Bye! Bye!

Bye!

Feeling better, Helene?

Did the doctor give you a pill?

Is she all right?

She's feeling better.
Aren't you, honey?

Case closed.

I'm stamping Mr. Hobbs'
case closed.

Mr. Hobbs just put his head

in his own gas oven.

Is it true? Is it?

Is it true?

We heard it on the phone upstairs.

Phone?

Mr. Hobbs closed
all the doors,

all the windows,

turned the gas on,

and died!

Died! Died!

Christ! Jesus!

Quiet! Everybody,
please go back to your work.

Stop that noise.

Tear me apart, baby.
Tear me apart.

Tear me apart.

Go back and work.

I'll do anything you like, baby.
Come on, baby.

I love you, darling.

Deborah? Deborah! Deborah!

You're being very naughty.

Now, you behave yourself.

- Deborah, where are you going?
- Dayroom.

- You all right?
- Uh-huh.

- What's the matter?
- Helene keeps hitting her clay,
and I want her to be quiet.

Helene? Did she hear
about Hobbs?

McPherson, we need you!

I'm coming.

I'm here, I'm here.

All right, come on, come on.

No. No.

No! No! No!

Sit down. Sit down.

No. No. No.

Goddamn it.

Deborah, I'm sorry you had
to hear about Hobbs like that.

Just leave me alone.

Can I do anything for you?

- Just leave me alone!
- You sure?

- Cynthia!
- Okay, stay right there.

Nagua.

Nagua. Nagua.

Nagua. Nagua.

Nagua...

So, "nagua."

Poison.

My poison.
They told me it killed Hobbs.

I think your gods are cruel gods.

No, no, no, no!
Not always!

Too often.

When they're kind,
I think it's only to trick you.

Your mother called me
this morning.

They want to come and see you.

Not my father.

So let's talk about him.

Every time he comes up,

it makes you angry or frightened.

He was always warning me
about the men.

The sex maniacs

waiting around the corner
to get me.

That man pulled it out,

and my father got angry at me.

He said, "It's your fault,
because you attracted him."

Why does any man want me?

I'm broken into
and spoiled with a tumor.

Don't hit me.

Deborah...

He hit me!

Maybe your father
had feelings for you

he was very afraid of.

What do you know about my father?

Well, he was a human being.

Maybe he knew what he felt.

He was afraid of it in other men

and wanted to protect you from it.

Deborah, you're crying.

No, I'm not.

Maybe it's because you've just
touched another person's pain.

It feels like...

wine.

It's okay.

Hold on to it.

You've touched inside.

Which is love? Truth?
Forgiveness?

It's all part of the reality
you're so afraid of.

Now, hold on to it.

You did it.

You made me cry.

We have still
many secrets to share.

And we'll go on with it
until we've seen them all.

And when that's done,

you can still choose
even if you want to.

I can be crazy if I want to?
Bats.

So, what's "bats"?

It's American.

It means...

bats up in your head at night,

and they fly around aimless,
without direction.

- You know?
- I'll remember that.

And if I should still want it?

If you need it,

if you want it...

all the choices are still there.

Shall we let him come?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

It's like living in a painting.

- It's beautiful here.
- It really is.

Deborah, you look so pretty in that dress.

- Don't you think so, Jay?
- Yes, very pretty.

You just look a little thin.
Don't they feed you enough?

Miss Coral says that the secret
to enjoying hospital food

is to be too ill to notice it.

You mean it's that bad?

No, she was just joking.

Oh.

Tell us more about Miss Coral.

Well, she's this old lady,

and she's been in and out
of here for years,

and she used to teach geometry.

And she gives me geometry
lessons sometimes.

- That's nice.
- You'd think if she could
teach facts and figures,

she wouldn't be here.

Jay.

Learning about facts and figures

has nothing to do
with knowing about yourself.

Deborah.

The bitch is very near.

It will happen here,

as we said.

One can learn and learn
and still be a schizo.

They let you trust the doctor.

You betrayed our secrets to her.

It's so pretty, I'd like to come
and have a picnic someday.

Now see what she will do.

She and the world.

Look at those trees.

Fantastic.

Bye!

I love you!
You look beautiful!

Was it all right?

It was all right.

Let's go back, then.

Deborah, I want to tell you something.

I'm going away
on vacation next month.

And I want to tell you now
so you can get used to the idea.

We have time to talk about it.

For how long?

Five weeks.

Hmm.

Where are you going?

First, I'm going to conference
in Switzerland, and then...

then I'm going to Venice.

Venice. Venice?

It's a beautiful place to rest.

I'm arranging for you to talk
to Dr. Royson while I'm away.

Dr. Royson?

I like Carla's doctor.
I'll talk with him.

I'm afraid his schedule is full.

Thank you.

Naroi.

What does it mean?

It's a Uri word.
It means...

...I have no choice.

- Dr. Royson?
- Yes.

This is Deborah.

I'll be back for you
in an hour, Deborah.

Hello.

Please, sit down.

Dr. Fried tells me
that you like to smoke,

so I got these especially for you.

Dr. Fried says you have
a private language.

Would you tell me
one of its words?

Inai.

What does that mean?

"Thanks."

That's very interesting.
Sounds almost Indian.

Have you ever been
in the Indian country?

New Mexico? Arizona?

Naza.

What does that mean?

"No". It means "no".

Very interesting.
That sounds almost Spanish.

Do you speak Spanish?

You won't cure me with words,
Doctor.

Inai.

Naza.

Two words you don't know.

Yet they seem to have entered
the pattern of your unconscious.

Did Dr. Fried ever comment

on any connection

between your private language
and any other language?

Spanish? Indian?

Don't cut bangs with a hatchet.

Bangs?

Don't do brain surgery

with a pickax.

I can understand your resenting
me not being Dr. Fried.

I resent you not being you.

Yes.

Can you read my thoughts?

# After the ball is over #

# After the... #

Can you read my thoughts?

Of course. You're a whore
and you're a bore.

Pack it in.

# Many a heart... #

Can you read my thoughts?

Your doctor went away today.

Warm.

Something happened?

Very warm.

Something she doesn't know about?

- Cigarettes.
- You stole them?

Uh-huh.

Okay, okay, all clear.

I hope you people realize
that you're in the presence

of the secret wife
of an abdicated king.

His Majesty does not
permit smoking in my presence.

You little cunt.

- Carla.
- Hi. Hi.

Where are you going?

Um, back to B ward.

My doctor's transferring me.

They're going to release me
in a couple of weeks.

They want me to be an outpatient.

Just to try it out.

Hi.

You look nice.
How come I can't talk with you?

I'm sorry, my schedule
is quite full right now.

Deborah. Deborah. Deborah.

Deborah, I'm sorry.

Look at me!

I'm caught and falling!

- Look at me.
- Falling...

Why?

Why?

Who are you?

I'm with your pals.
What I'm doing won't hurt you.

This is the way we have to feed you.

You won't eat, we do it this way.

Don't leave me! Don't!

Don't leave me!

Deborah.

Deborah.

You're back.

It's the day I said I'd be back.

They told me you were dead.

Can I help you out of this?

Careful with the burns on her right arm.

My surface doesn't even know
if it's alive or not.

Tell me.
Say it, Deborah.

I hate my life!

I hate my body!

I'm poisonous, and I hate it!

I tried with Royson.
I really did.

But all he cared about
was whether he was right or not.

Did he tell you
I disappointed him?

No.

I did.

Just like I disappointed
everybody for years and years.

I hate myself.

That's how you feel now.

But that hate and shame,

that's how much you'll be able
to love one day.

I'm insane! I'm insane!

I'm insane! I'm insane!
I'm insane! I'm insane!

Totally insane.

Just when there's talk
of you getting well.

- Huh?
- Yeah.

I hear they're going to let you
out soon, maybe even today.

Oh, yeah?

Leave me alone, you hear?

You leave me alone,
or I break every bone

in your dumb, stinking body.

Deborah, I don't know if...

You've, ahem,

never been a marriage case,
have you?

Yes, I have.

What happened?

Did he die, or did he leave you?

We divorced.

Really?

The same business?

Mm-hmm.

Of course.

Do you enjoy this game?

Any kids?

Just as well.

But it...

must get lonely sometimes,

especially at your age.

I mean...

what do you do?

I do the same thing
I've always done.

I work.

Sweeps it under the rug.

No.

I tried to recognize it
and come to terms with it.

What if I'm not strong enough
to do that?

You are strong enough.

You can turn me off, you know.

You can go off with your friends

and write another paper
on schizophrenia

and get an award for it.

But I can't turn me off.

So I'm calling off the fight.

So, you quit?

Stay in a nuthouse
for the rest of your life.

The first time you came here,

it's now two years ago.

We talked about this.

Two years ago?

Mm-hmm.

It's Christmas again.

You created this cult,
and you can destroy them.

You're stronger than they are.

If you give up Uri,

you'll be able to feel
in this world.

Don't call off the fight, Deborah.

You can win.

You are strong enough,

but you have to make the choice.

And that means the defense
speaks for itself.

And that means that I am
innocent, Your Honor...

She was a child and I was a child

in this kingdom by the sea,

but we love with a love
that was more than love,

I and my Annabel Lee.

She was a child...

Can I take a walk or something?

Deborah, you know
better than that.

Shit.

Pussycat. Pussycat.

Did I ever tell you what happens

when a straight line
bisects an 80-degree angle?

I could tell you about the time
they caught fish

in the Sahara desert.

Get out of my way.

I got to pee.

Okay.

Is that okay with you, McPherson?

Bring her right back.

Okay, go ahead.

Are you going to watch?

Jesus Christ, that is more hell
than I can stand.

Look, why don't you check
for cigarettes.

I don't have any.

All right, I'll be outside.

Hurry up. We have to get back
to the dayroom.

Are you all right in there?

I'm fine.

Hurry up, Deborah.

I'm going as fast as I can.

Unbelievable.

Pain.

Simple, ordinary pain.

God, the gods of the world
know my pain!

Deborah, what are you doing?

- It's all right!
- What are you doing?

It's all right.
It hurts.

Oh, Deborah!

I want to see Dr. Fried.

Dr. Fried isn't here.
She's at a party.

- You can't...
- We're so fucked!

I want to see Dr. Fried.
Where is she?

- I told you, she's...
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Where's Dr. Fried?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Where are you going?

- I want to see Dr. Fried.
- She burned herself. I'm sorry.

Jesus! She burned herself?

How many times
do I have to tell you?

- Where's Dr. Fried?
- You can't see Dr. Fried.

How come?

You can't see Dr. Fried.
She's not here tonight.

I'll tell her the first thing
in the morning.

But I got to tell her something.
It's very important.

I got to tell her I felt pain.

I felt pain.
I felt pain in this arm,

in this world, right now.

Now, where's Dr. Fried?

All of the closing rooms are full.

- I'll take care of it.
- Shoo, fly. Shoo. Flee.

Let me see your arm.

Still hurt?

Uh-huh.

All right, come on.

You know something?
I don't know why you keep
doing this to yourself.

But it hurt, don't you understand?

Now you're making me crazy,
you know that?

Doesn't anybody understand?

- What's the matter?
- She's all right.

- She's going to go to sleep.
- Ah-ha, a telephone.

Just put it down.
Sit down.

- I feel great!
- Just sit down.

Just relax, dear.
You're going to be all right.

You're going to be just fine.

- Doesn't anybody understand?
- Okay, right.

I felt pain in my arm.

Wonderful.
Just relax.

Oh, God.

It hurts.

It hurts, everybody.

It felt really bad!

You're gonna go to sleep now.

Are you going to tell
Dr. Fried?

In the morning,
like I said I would.

You promise?

Cross my heart.
Have I let you down?

Mm-hmm.

Deborah.

Your great sadness

will be when you can
no longer find us.

Deborah.

They're going to sacrifice me.
You'll never see me again.

- Don't let me die, Deborah.
- No.

Don't let me die.
Don't let me die, Deborah.

Deborah, save me.

Deborah, save me.
Deborah, save me.

Don't let me die, Deborah.
Don't let me die.

Don't let me die, Deborah.

Dr. Fried.

Dr. Fried?

Dr. Fried?

Dr. Fried?

- Deborah.
- Dr. Fried?

I said goodbye.

Okay, okay, come on.
Sit down.

I promise, tomorrow you can go
and see Dr. Fried, okay?

Okay?

Hey, can you take care?

- Yeah.
- Slit me.

Just slit me.

Okay.

Just relax now, okay?

Congratulations on your pain.

Now you can say "ouch"
when the bedbugs bite.

Okay, Lee, let's go to bed.

When the bedbugs bite.
That's a good one.

Mm-hmm, that's very good.

Let's sit by the fire.

It's over.

So, it's all over.

Let's drink.

To the victory
over our punishing gods.

So I'm going to refer you
to Ward B,

and then you and I would work
a little more together.

And I will see about a school.

There's a lot of things I can do
without going to school.

Yeah, I mean,
I'd learn to be tough.

I could be a hired killer,

or I learned a lot
about how nuts behave.

I could be an actress.

That's too dangerous.

I could be a writer.

- Did you write that?
- Mm-hmm.

"Dear Dr. Fried."

Oh, Deborah.
Now, help me.

Okay.

"She floats inside
a hostile ocean."

Uh-huh.

"With destructive liquids."

"I fly through molecules,
then..."

"Cobwebs on my nightmare.

"An image.

"Two eyes.

"Both flower and rock."

That's you.

"I see colors.

"Mine...

"a droplet of salt from the sea.

"And I am.

Love, Deborah."

That's beautiful.

You like it?

Thank you. I like it.

Well...

I think I'd better go now.

Maybe.

I'll see you in two days, huh?

- Okay.
- Happy New Year.

It will be.

- Please.
- I don't want to go back.

Deborah, come on. You're going
to get in a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I'm gonna...

No! No!

Who's up next?

- No.
- Yes, I am.

- No. No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.

No!

Deborah? Deborah!

Come back here.

You were asked to come back here.

No, get back here.

Please. Please just come back.
Deborah, please.

Let me go.

Deborah, please, let's go back.

- Why?
- I don't want to get you in trouble.

- You don't?
- Okay, I don't want to get into trouble.

Why? What are you so scared of?

I like it out here.
I don't want to go back.

Yeah? Well, you remember when
you were in the institution,

and you were scared
about going back into the world?

- Yes?
- Well, now you're out here.

- Yeah?
- And you're scared about
going to the hospital.

Right. Let's go back.

Can't be scared
all your life, Carla.

- I know.
- You should work on that.

Oh! Hey!

He's running, he's running.

Look at these boys.

- Wow!
- Come on, get in here.

Whoo! Just a few more minutes.

No, no, please.
Please, Deborah.

- We're gonna get into trouble.
- Time-out!

How you doing?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Come on, who's up?

- Can I hit one?
- No, no, Deborah, no.

- I don't know who's up.
- Who's that?

Hey, Shark, she wants to hit one.

What?

She wants to hit one.

Oh, come on, guys.
We're playing a practice game.

Tell the little girl
to shove off, will you?

Fine, that's fine.
Deborah, I think we should.

- No, I want to hit one.
- I think she's gonna hit one.

Shark, how long can it take?
Come on!

Come on, Shark, let her hit one.

- Come on, let her hit.
- Okay.

All right.

Have you ever played
hardball before?

Yeah. Twice.

Stand back a little bit.

Just stand back about...
That's good. Right there.

Move in, we're going to have
a little infield practice here.

All right.

So, little Josephine DiMaggio

wants to be in
the big leagues, huh?

Come on, little girl.
Let's go.

- You're cookin', good-lookin'.
- I want you to look out for this one,

because it's going to breeze
right by you, little girl.

Here we come.

Come on, babycakes.

- Oh!
- Run! Run!

Run! Go, go, go!

Keep going!
You're doing great!

Way to go, you turkey.
Throw the ball to second.

You going to let her go?

All right!

Great juggling act.

- That was great.
- That was terrific.

Thanks.

Fine, fine, let's go, let's go.

That was fine.
Let's go back.

- Come on.
- Where are you going?

No, no, we have to go now.

We got to go.

Hey, we play here every Saturday.

Okay, fine.

Whoo!

That was great.
What do you want to do now?

You want to go see a movie?
I could show you my apartment.

Would you like to go see
my apartment?

No, I think I'd better
go back now.

- Back?
- Yeah.

Oh, okay, I'll walk you back.

I could find my way.

You sure? You sure you can
find your way back?

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Would you come visit me next week?

Sure.

Um...

maybe when you get out,

you could get a little place
near me.

Or we could even share.

I think I'm going
to like it out here.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Okay.

I got to go.

Oh, wait a minute.
Your shoes.

- Yeah. Bye.
- Bye. Bye.

See you next week.
Sayonara, sweetie.

- Bon voyage, bimbo!
- Bimbo!

Deborah.

We could be with you always.

Deborah.

When they call.