I Love My Mum (2018) - full transcript
A mother and son duo get inadvertently shipped in a container from London to Morocco with nothing but their pajamas. The adventure takes them through Spain and France on a journey to get home and rebuild their rocky relationship.
(upbeat music)
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
Go to the next one.
Go back now.
There, there right there.
Round a bit.
Go back, there.
Go back mom stupid shout.
I can't hear a word
you're saying so shout.
I'm going, I'm going, I'm
going, I'm going, I'm going.
No to the left.
Mom seriously I'm
shitting myself up here.
Please please just tell me when.
When, that's all you
gotta say is when.
To the right.
(loud thumping)
Yes perfect.
Just there.
(singing in foreign language)
Help, help!
Mum, fucking mum!
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
(muttering)
Calm down Ron, repeat,
the game's about to start.
Where is it?
Where is what?
My cheese, my camembert.
I don't know what you wanna.
Ou bitch, you're
eating it now aren't you?
Oh grow up.
Give me that bit
now, give me that.
Get off me, get off me.
- Let me have a look.
- It's mine.
That is mine.
You're blocking my airway
you little bastard.
You need to control.
You look at you now, look what
You’re fucking done bastard.
Fucking knew it, I knew it.
You're nasty, get off me.
Yeah go.
Get up.
(upbeat music)
Come on, get up.
Give me that.
No.
Give me that.
Now you've broken it.
This cut is mine,
it's brand new.
Sit alone watching
this evening.
Would you get up please?
- What are you doing?
- Mind getting up?
Why?
Get you up then, get up.
Mum just get in the car.
No, I don't want to.
You're getting
in the car alright.
Just move, getin
the fucking car.
(upbeat music)
Look Ron.
Mum shut up.
This is ridiculous.
I said shut your mouth.
Well can you please just
tell me where we're going?
Yeah, shopping.
It's 11 o'clock at night
in case you hadn't noticed.
Some petrol station
that's still open.
You're gonna get out right.
You're gonna buy
me another cheese,
and then fuck off 'cause
I'm dumping you there.
What in pajamas?
Oh don't you worry,
\ packed your stuff.
What about my illness?
I mean who's gonna look after
me when the cancer returns?
Cancer, mum you've
been in remission
'or what about 12
I think you're fine.
(dramatic music)
(tire squealing)
(both screaming)
(metal crunching)
(upbeat music)
Ron, oh son say.
What happened?
Where are we?
We're trapped.
I think maybe, you
know, we're dead.
Dead?
Maybe.
Maybe, maybe we're in limbo
waiting to enter Heaven.
Maybe we'll see father, maybe
he's waiting for us up there,
waiting to take
us into his arms.
The holy father?
No, no my father,
you know your husband.
Oh him, no he's not dead.
But of course he's dead.
No he's not.
Mum, he died when I was
born, chickenpox you said.
Might have said
something didn't [?
But you've took me to the
cemetery every fucking year.
Your mental health.
So who the bloody hell was
the stiff wobbly flowers to?
What do I know?
I mean it was a nice
grave wasn't it?
Well so where is he now?
Forget the bastard,
I suppose it don't matter
now we're dead does it?
It's weird though, if I'm dead,
why am I still hungry?
Oh crud, we're GNC.
What the fuck we doing here?
Give me your phone.
I've only got this.
(upbeat music)
Look at that aye.
What color shall I have?
(upbeat music)
There must be something
inside these bloody boxes
(upbeat music)
Ea, what the fuck?
Oh it's lager.
Oh lager.
That's lager, yeah.
(upbeat music)
(ships horn blowing)
(metal crunching)
(screaming)
Move over.
(upbeat music)
(Engine revving)
(screaming) (metal crunching)
(back up alarm beeping)
(horn honking)
Oh fuck, where are we Mum?
(upbeat music)
Sorry about the wait.
Enjoying the refreshments?
Yes sir, yeah very much so.
Lovely tea Mr?
Brentwood, Henry Brentwood.
Now we have been
having some issues.
Let me Just see if
I get this straight.
Now you say your
mother was eating
your cheese without
your permission?
Yes sir, yeah my cheese.
Cheese.
Yeah.
Slightly burnt toast.
Nice.
And you got upset, drove to
the shop to buy some more.
Well basically the
shops were closed so
we went to a petrol
station nearby the docks.
Yeah it has everything.
This all all happened
in Tilbury right?
'And then \you had I
and ended up inside a
container bound for Morocco.
That's it.
And somehow you managed
to survive the six
day trip inside a
freight container.
We were lucky we had a
big bag of jelly babies.
Yeah and the beer.
Ah yes, Young's Rampart
Triple X Special Ale.
Hoppy but refreshing.
Hoppy?
Yeah hoppy.
Splendid.
Look we just want some new
clothes and something to eat
and passports and
a flight back home.
Speedy boarding?
Oh yes please.
We have a problem.
Yeah?
Olga Percival, your
lady friend here.
No, my mother.
Well she is in our records.
We have all the
relevant data for her,
passport number,
national insurance.
She is a British citizen,
single, no children.
But that's, so
what are you saying?
What I'm saying is we have
no record for you, nothing.
Mum?
It's all perfectly
simple really you just
apply for naturalization,
obtain the certificate,
surrender the old
passport, get the surrender
certificate and then
apply for a British one.
Obtain the British
passport, apply for the OCI,
there's a little exam, and
then get hold of the OCI.
Two years, tops,
should all be sorted.
Of course by then who knows
who we'll be letting in?
Might not even be worth it.
Sorry, sorry I don't quite
get what you're saying.
Can you just repeat everything
you just said again please?
You are not a British citizen.
I mean we couldn't even find
a birth certificate for you.
And to be frank there are easier
obtaining a passport.
Mum, Mum could you
please tell me what
the bloody hell
is going on here?
I think you may be, you know.
I might be what, adopted?
No, of course not.
Look, think about
it, the way you are.
You know what I mean right?
No, no I don't.
I think you may be French.
French?
What do you mean French?
You know, from France, French.
Mum Mum, but my name's
Martin, Ron Martin.
And how the bloody
hell could I be French?
Actually it's probably
pronounced Martin.
No it's Martin, Ron Martin.
Ron Martin.
- Martin.
- Martin.
Martin, Martin.
No, no, Martin, Ron Martin.
Martin.
Martin, Martin, Ron Martin.
Martin, Martin.
Listen you pompous
asshole, it's Martin.
Oi, I don't know about him
but I am a British citizen.
I have my rights.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Let me explain, let me explain.
You've got to think about
it, I's not that bad.
What do you mean.
How could it be any worse Mum?
Honestly how could
it be any worse?
Well you could be a German.
It was a Hindu, so we, we
got the ferry to the Calais.
And then from the
ferry we got the coach
and then I fell in love.
Right you fell in love with
a coach driver, yeah right.
Yeah how'd you know?
We could take it
as a free holiday.
Free holiday, free holiday
my ass, Mum we are fucked.
No we're not, I
mean think about it.
We just got to get some money,
a cheap flight and
then that's it.
No Mum we're fucked, and
we don't even have that.
Mum we have got nothing,
nothing, nothing.
Oh will you stop
being so negative?
Ron what are we?
Freaking geez, I don't know.
No.
Well then what,
economic migrants?
I ain't got a clue.
We are British, we
can overcome anything.
We used to own this land.
Well no, actually
the French did.
What about Saudia Arabia?
What you mean in
Lawrence of Arabia?
What about him anyway?
Oh yeah him, or whatever
his fucking name is.
Yeah what about him?
Just shut up and listen.
I have been, I'm fucking
shutting up and I'm listening.
What, what, I'm waiting, what?
Right, just take it easy
and look at this alright.
This is where we are okay.
So we just follow
the coast to Gharbia,
reach Tangier, swim to
Gibraltar, get into Spain,
Cordoba, llidza, Barcelona,
climb the Pyrenees,
reach Toulouse, a little
bit more, and that is it.
Great, great, and
I mean how are you
planning to do all
that traveling?
Apart from the fucking
climbing and the swimming
what are we gonna do
Mum, what hitchhike?
This is all you gotta
do, and it'll work.
Just stop it Mum,
you're so embarrassing.
Won't be when we get a lift.
Hey, let's do this.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
Vidi, Vidi.
Oh thank you so much Vidi.
Me, welcome.
Ah thank you.
Where should I take you?
Where to what?
Tangier please.
- Tangier (chuckles)
that's a long ride.
Well it's your lucky day.
Yes it is.
I took this ride, only to
have to obtained, let's go.
Let's go to Tangier.
Mum Mum Mum this.
How the hell are we
gonna pay for this ride?
I don't know, I'll figure
something out when we get there.
With what?
I'll give him a blow job.
(upbeat music)
So are you two married?
No, no of course not.
Do you really think
I'd marry that there?
Very lovely lady.
So if you two are not married,
just a little bit of
the hanky panky right?
Hank.
So siblings.
Yeah siblings,
yeah that's right.
That's your sister.
She's not my, how do you
know she'd be my sister?
So what do you do then?
We ah, we run a...
Shipping, import and export.
I'm married
myself, have a look.
Aye, a little boy.
Open it all up
please, come on.
That one, seven.
You must be a.
A dad. (Laughing)
Oh no, I mean happy.
Yeah happy dad.
What's your secret?
Oh no no no, no.
Just have to look
at a woman and bang.
What do you mean?
You know what I mean,
I'll get you pregnant
just with my eyes,
just a look and bang.
Bang?
Yeah.
[Olga] Bang bang bang.
Bang bang bang yeah.
[Olga] Bang bang bang.
Oh please shut up.
(singing in foreign language)
What are you doing?
Whoa you are quick.
- Just leave me alone.
- And you're cute, like me.
Sometimes you have
to give it time
and extra gently you know.
Look mate I don't care.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to have a
piss, leave me alone.
Hey listen to me, me and you
mother we're Just having fun.
I don't care about my
Mum, you can go and do
whatever mate, it don't
mean nothing to me.
(crickets chirping)
(door opens and closes)
(Engine cranking)
Hey hey hey hey,
hey whoa, hey.
(tires squealing)
(upbeat music)
What are you doing,
where is the cabbie?
Having a piss.
You've nicked the
cab haven't you?
Yeah, yeah I have yeah.
I don't believe,
you are unbelievable.
I know why you've done this.
Every time someone
pays an interest in me,
you do it to split us up.
(singing in foreign language)
So you just follow the north
until you get a city
till you reach
Malabata, you got that?
Yeah listen, do you
mind if we stop off
and get something
to eat first please?
Absolutely starving.
[Olga] Alright
be back in a sec.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
What are you doing in my car?
Are you a taxi?
Yeah I'm a taxi.
Then go go go,
go ahead, go ahead.
Go drive.
Which way are you going mate?
[Passenger] Drive man.
Alright.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Where we going mate?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Keep it straight then?
Sorry, I'm so sorry man.
Keep going right here?
Whoo.
Oh thank you very much.
(Speaking in foreign language)
What the bloody
hell do you want?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Castle what castle,
castle, castle what?
(upbeat music)
Alright then let's do it.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
I understand, I
understand straight.
Money money money.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
My friend thank you
very much, now go.
Where we go you have
to tell me, come on.
Do I look like I'm
Moroccan? (Laughing)
I'm not Moro an.
Yeah so my name is Martin,
Ron Martin actually.
I'm actually a little French.
You like French?
(kids yelling)
(Speaking in foreign language)
Go where we go, you
tell me, which way?
(upbeat music)
Alright you are my
last job, where to?
Shit!
How the bloody hell
did you find me?
An Englishman
in my fucking car.
Nobody screws with my car.
(punches landing)
Where have you been?
Where the bloody
hell have you been?
Re have you been?
I've been walking around
town just looking for you.
Listen Mum you would not
believe what happened to me.
Oh really, and I been sitting
here like a fucking moron.
Don't worry, I've
I've been driving around
like a fucking lunatic.
I've got this.
Idiot you've got
95 dirham bees.
That's about
six quid.
What do you mean six quid?
How do you know that's.
Because whilst you
been playing cabbie
I been sitting here
all day like a moron
learning these, currency,
every fucking around the world.
How would you fucking know,
now what are we gonna do?
Nell what are we gonna do no.
Name a country,
that is six quid.
I tell you what we're
gonna do now, hand it over.
Hand over what?
Fine, I'm taking it.
What do you mean,
where you going?
To spend it.
(singing in foreign language)
See, Spain's just there.
[Ron] So what do we do, swim?
([Olga)] You wouldn't
last 10 minutes.
[Ron] Well go on then,
you can go first, hop on.
Look Mum, Mum, there's
something down there, look.
(water lapping)
(thunder rolling)
(baby crying)
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air
♪ They fly so high
they reach the sky ♪
♪ Like my dreams
they fade and die ♪
♪ Fortune's always hiding
♪ I've looked everywhere
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air
You used to sing that to me.
Yeah I did.
(thunder crashes)
(dramatic music)
(water lapping)
(baby babbling)
Mum.
Mum, Mum.
Mum wake up.
How long have we been
floating in this shitter for?
And where the bloody hell
has the Spanish coast gone?
(Speaking in foreign language)
We're gonna help hem.
- Help them?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Come on Ron.
- I don't know.
- Come on Ron.
- Mom, I'm a bit.
- Don't worry.
- I'm worried Mum.
Are you sure?
(baby crying)
Come on Ron, let's go.
Oh I'm so sorry.
(All talking at once)
Come on then.
Hold on, hold on.
Mum, Mum.
I'm so sorry.
Mum, another woman.
[Olga] Come on darling.
Oh my God, oh I'm so.
Mum, Mum help, Mum!
(all talking at once)
(baby crying)
(somber music)
(acoustic piano music)
What do we do now?
But Mum I'd do
absolutely anything
to have my recliner
and a nice cheese roll.
Oh you're so stupid.
Unbelievable.
If you had just said
said sorry right
I'd not be out here about
to be eaten by sharks.
Alright Ron, I get it alright.
Would you look at me?
You just cannot say it can you?
Say what?
The magic words.
Abra fucking cadabra.
Do you know what?
This is what war's
all about Mum.
Century after century
people fighting
all because of the
same bloody thing.
What, sandwich stealers?
Being unable to
accept an apologize Mum,
being incapable
of assuming blame.
It's about understanding and
being respectful to others.
(laughing)
Oh God, you truly
are a bloody bloker.
(laughing)
So funny.
Ron what are you doing?
Ron come back here.
Alright Ron I'm sorry.
(dramatic music)
Ron I'm sorry.
I said I'm freaking sorry!
Come on Mum, pedal
pedal, pedal Mum, pedal.
(calm music)
(crickets chirping)
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum.
Ron.
[Ron] Mum, Mum,
Mum I can't move.
Ron?
[Ron] Shit, shit, oh shit.
- Oh my God.
- Mum.
My God Ron neither can I.
Ron I can't move.
Mum help, help!
- Help, help!
- Help, help!
Ron are you still there?
No, no Mum I'm not I've
just gone for a quick walk.
But don't worry I'll be later.
It's not funny.
I can't even feel my
arms and legs anymore.
What do want me
to do about it Mum?
What do you want a massage.
Come to me I'll give
you a fucking massage.
(both talking at once)
Wait, don't fuck, do you really
think this is appropriate?
(grunting)
Help, help!
- Help, help!
- Help, help!
(upbeat music)
(geiger counter whining)
What a crap holiday.
I need to get to tomorrow
I need my medicati.
What medication?
My selecta, luvox,
paxon, and prozac.
It's just the stuff I
take to cope with you.
Yeah so let me give you
a natural alternative.
What is it you don't get Mum?
Okay Ron, let's
not lose it okay?
I mean we've got
to stick together
if 'we want to get
out of this mess.
I'm done with you.
Now listen wait.
I mean don't you fucking want
to end up and be a Brit again,
and get your birth certificate,
and meet your father?
What did you just say?
You heard me.
My father?
Yes, your father.
But you don't
know where he is.
Oh I do, he's in Calais.
What Calais?
Well yeah that's what I
see in the letters he sends.
Birthday and stuff.
Hang on, he sends me
letters on my birthday?
Every year with the money.
What money?
For nappies and stuff.
Mum, I'm 21.
Listen right, I want me
money, and I want my father.
And what a bloody hell
is he doing in Calais?
I don't know, I mean he's
working on fish markets
or dealing with
refugees like us.
Hey.
You want to go and
(laughing)
Stick with me and
I'll think about it.
Forget it, now way.
I swore I would never ever
do that again, no way.
♪ I'll give you one night
only for your eyes only ♪
> Oh oh oh.
♪ Like an eagle in the
sky you can't control it ♪
♪ There's a magic in my eyes
♪ And I can't stop
it burning down ♪
♪ On the edge of tonight
♪ 'Cause tomorrow we'll
be owning the world ♪
♪ You know like
pure white gold ♪
♪ I'll give you one night
only for your eyes only ♪
♪ Forever forever forever
♪ This is how we burn
♪ This is how we burn
Wow, wow wow wow.
Wow ladies and gentlemen.
For the rest of the folks
in the place, fantastic.
Wow wow wow, now remember,
you don't forget to vote.
So give me your
tickets, very important.
Pineapple up here on the
bar, make them count.
Now then, this is what
we're waiting for.
This next contestant
needs no introduction.
She is the magnificent,
the majestic.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
(singing in foreign language)
Fuck, say Mum what
are you so happy about?
Can't you hear the way
they're cheering her?
You know son, sometimes all
you need in life is a pen.
What do you mean pen?
Now get a pen,
I'll check our names,
and you drop them in
the fucking pineapple.
(upbeat music)
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Sounds like we all night!
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Can I have just that one
more round of applause
for all of our
acts this evening?
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Now then, now then, quiet quiet.
Here is that time of the night.
We're gonna find out who's
000 Euro prize
for the 20th anniversary of
our Magic Singing Competition.
Now the votes have been
counted and verified.
(Audience cheers a applauds)
And in this lovely gold envelope
right here I have the winner.
You ready?
Can I get a drum roll?
And the winner is.
Paloma Benitez!
(Audience cheers a applauds)
(singing in foreign language)
What the hell did you do?
I marked the freaking cards
and I put them in the
apple like you said.
I said fucking pineapple.
You idiot.
Hey, whoo yeah.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Congratulations.
(Speaking in foreign language)
So you here for a few days?
No, no we're stuck in this
shit hole with no place to go.
No hotel, no place, no?
No we don't either.
We just dig a hole |n
the sand like a tortoise
(speaking in foreign language)
He's a little bit slow.
Slow, I like slow yeah.
Listen here sweet y
yeah, why don't you just
leave us alone and take
your tits and ass with you.
Now just fuck off.
A\ - Okay.
No stay, stay, stay.
Listen to him, stay
stay, the matching man.
Can't you just see the bitch.
Just up and
you've been putting this off?
Is it just to piss
me off or have you
got some sort of higher purpose?
No higher purpose no.
You're funny yeah.
Come.
Yes, I have a bed.
A bed?
Yeah a bed.
(singing in foreign language)
My house.
Is that it?
(crickets chirping)
We love it.
(light jazz piano music)
What are you some
kind of hippie?
(Speaking in foreign language)
You smoke pot?
Mother mother, mother please.
Score some pot.
Here.
Smoke.
You too?
To the beach.
Vamonos.
(light jazz piano music)
Ck and roll mus.
♪ You give me your love
you give me your love ♪
♪ Won't you give me
baby I need it yeah ♪
And I like your
eyes, they are so big.
If we had children together
they'd be so beautiful.
What?
Tell me about you.
Me?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Well it seems that I'm not
always who I thought I was.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Well I'm,
I'm not a Brit.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Of course you are British.
Drink beer, and more beer,
and get a walk,
and look both ways.
Just forget about it.
I work in telemarketing.
In tele?
See hello, ring
ring, ring ring.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Hello Miss I
understand you must be
at least 87 years
old is that correct?
Fantastic, fantastic.
Would you be interested in our
lifelong health insurance offer?
Honestly, it's not too late.
Poor people, that's.
It's not, it's not.
Yeah it is.
It's not, I don't ac
my job glad like
that to be honest.
I see my job being
more like a therapist.
No honestly.
People who would
always, under pressure,
trapped in their jobs, pisse
off with their loved ones,
or their neighbors,
or their bosses,
or even the dick head who drives
too slow in the fast lane.
Well that's where I
come in, I call them up.
They insult me, they let it
rip, they slam the phone down.
Then suddenly they actually feel
much better by themselves.
You're crazy.
I like it.
Yes?
So, so what about you?
Me?
I just want 10 sing, you
know, touch people's hearts.
(Speaking in foreign language)
But I also ring ring ring.
Wait you're also on the
racket making phone calls?
No Carino, mine a solicitor.
Ring ring ring.
Ah yes, yes.
I don't understand a
word but I love it.
Ah I'm never gonna
make it here you know.
I've been doing that for
two years, and for what?
No come please, please
come to England with me.
Honestly with your
voice, your accent.
I could get you a job anywhere.
You're crazy.
You're a crazy guy
with a big heart.
(inspirational music)
(Olga screaming)
Mum.
(flames crackling loudly)
Mum, Mum, Mum.
(dramatic music)
(sirens blaring)
I don't care just
let me see my mother.
I don't care about
your good, I don't care
'cause I want to
see my mother okay.
I want to see my mother!
You will see your
mother in the morning.
I don't want to see my
mother in the morning.
I need to see my mother now!
(both shouting over each other)
I don't speak Spanigh,
talk to me in English.
Talk to me in English.
I need to see my mother
now, I need my mother.
Go home, go the
fucking home okay.
I'm fucking tired of you,
so go home and relax.
Me go home.
Go the fucking home.
Go home, you want
to tell me to go home?
Go home.
Home, I'll give you home.
(punches landing)
I just want to see my mother.
She's in good hands.
That bastard, he
told me to go home.
So what is he supposed to say?
You know on my fucking
Birthday one year right.
I had this huge huge
bust up with her.
So what I done was
I packed my bags and
well I told her to go to hell.
And then when she saw me going
through the door, she collapsed.
The next day was probably
1e worst day in my life.
The doctor found something
in her small intestine.
It was a tumor.
She has cancer?
Night after night I'd lie
awake trying to figure out
how I could take
ck all the horrible
horrible things I've
said and done but,
I couldn't.
I felt so alone.
You're here with me now,
$0 go easy on yourself.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Know, I leave my
parents 12 years ago.
(Speaking in foreign language)
And I telephone twice,
to ask for dinero, money.
I'm sure you had your reasons.
Selfish.
All I'm trying to
say is that you,
(speaking in foreign
language) you know.
You perfecto, you perfecto.
What?
You see that sign?
Chapel second floor.
Want to confess before
you die of nose blood?
Fuck it, fuck it.
Marry me, go on marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
No I'm serious marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Seriously why not?
Marry me, come on
please marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Look English right,
do you understand?
Let's get married,
let's do it, why not?
It's not funny. (Laughing)
I'm serious, marry me.
Look fuck it, just
do it, marry me.
("Here comes the bride")
[Priest] Do you Ron Martin
I'm sorry it's Martin.
Mar?
Yeah Martin.
Martin?
Do you Ron Martin,
take this woman,
Paloma Benitez, to be
your lawfully wedded wife,
to love and cherish for
better or for worse?
Look.
I've got some clothes for you,
very nice, very nice clothes.
You okay Mum?
[Paloma] Open the card.
[Ron] Open it Mum go
on, go on open it go on.
[Paloma] You'll need your
photo for the passport.
How, what?
How did you do this?
Amigos I've got
friends in town.
I pay all the price this
good money, all I have.
They're legit Mum, I used
mine in the registry office.
Me and Paloma we're
officially married.
(Speaking in foreign language)
What?
Cheese.
(upbeat music)
Look Mum.
What's this?
I sold my wheels ♪ I rent a car, you a
Hang on wait wait wait, wait.
What about Paloma,
isn't she coming with us?
I have to sort some things
you know, pay camping site.
And in two or three weeks
I ' will be in Englatara.
And in two to three
days Mum, we'll be home.
Happy?
Yeah.
(acoustic piano music)
(upbeat music)
Whoo, we're going home.
(upbeat music)
& This is how we burn.
Goodbye.
Yes.
I'm so happy Mum,
I can't believe it.
(Horns honking)
What's happening Mum?
I don't know maybe they're
looking for terrorists.
Maybe we should get
passports ready, here you go.
(Horn honking)
Take it easy Mum please.
Can you get a move on?
We've got jobs to go to.
Mum, Mum you're
gonna get us arrested.
Could you just slow down?
(Horn honking)
For fuck's sake Mum please.
Just stop it would
you please, stop it?
But I like it.
(horn honks)
Stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Could you stop it please?
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Mum please just stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Could you stop doing that?
Mum can you just
stop doing that?
Mum stop it.
(horn honking repeatedly)
You like it, you like
it, you like it, you...
(horn honking repeatedly)
Are you that much of an idiot?
Stop it alright.
Mum Mum alright don't blow
that, just stop it Mum Mum!
(horn honking constantly)
(bag exploding)
(coughing)
Mum.
At the fuck is this shit?
Take a guess.
Who the bloody hell put
this shit in the car Mum?
Take another guess.
We've got to get
out of here Ron.
I'm serious we've
I A Ran? Ron, Ron?
I thought she was the one.
I thought she loved me Mum.
(Horns honking)
Listen Ron, the world's
a fucking bitch alright.
Fuck it and move.
Fuck get out of here,
get our of here now.
(upbeat music)
(alarm blaring)
(upbeat music)
I feel terrible Mum.
I feel all crumbly inside.
I don't know what to do.
Let it go just
take a breather and
walk away from it and
just (exhales) let it go.
I've never felt
like this before.
How long will it take
to get this out of me?
I got this feeling
inside me Mum.
(crying)
Why did she do that to me, why?
First of all you're
gonna feel in denial,
and then you'll feel
all pissed off and then,
and then a spot of depression.
Finally you'll a
you'll accept you're
a fucking muppet.
Now, have you got our passports?
Oh you idiot, not again.
(upbeat music)
(calm music)
Well so where the
bloody hell are we now?
Wait Mum, come let's
just take the car.
No we can't, they'd
be looking for us.
What's your plan then?
Have a look, the Pyrenees.
I really hope
you're not thinking
what I think you're thinking.
France is just
somewhere down there.
Down there?
Somewhere down there?
Down fucking where Mum?
What that street there,
just to the right of it?
Mother we are never
ever gonna make that.
(inspirational music)
Mum?
Yes, let's ramble.
I'm walking fucking too.
Can you just pace
yourself please?
'Cause the faster we walk
the sooner we get there.
(inspirational music)
[Ron] Mum.
Mum?
(inspirational music)
Hold on.
I have to go to the ladies.
I don't fucking believe it.
Oh for fuck's sake
you got me a fright.
Where the bloody hell
did you get that from?
I got it from your.
Just throw it away Mum,
seriously just throw it away.
Are you crazy?
This shit will get us
to France in no time.
(upbeat music)
France.
(church bells ringing)
(children playing)
Listen.
(inspirational music)
Mum.
Mum.
(inspirational music)
Come here, come
here, come here.
(inspirational music)
I've got money, and a
little bit left over.
Mum those kids looked
like they were about eight,
You’re so wrong, you
should act older Mum.
Yeah shouldn't have
probably did that.
You know what we should do
now we're in France don't you?
Get a car, and a bite to eat.
(Speaking in foreign language)
I don't know what he's saying
but what a lovely accent.
Whatever you choose is all
simply delicious, delicious.
Delicious.
Delicious.
Delicious, madam is delicious.
Can you please, please
don't encourage her?
Delicious.
Listen, mother, she
an have the mutton.
And I'll have the
cassoulet please.
- Cassoulet, mutton (speaking)
in foreign language)
- Delicious.
- Delicious.
Sorry mate can you just
bring the bloody food alright.
Yeah I think we get
the point right.
Delicious, delicious.
[Waiter] Delicious.
Delicious.
Can you just,
everyone's looking at me.
An you stop it please?
Those were simply delicious.
Stop Mum, don't,
just stop please.
Listen, listen Mum.
We need to stop at Calais,
sort out my documents,
and then meet father.
Listen, what do you say?
I need to go and
powder me nose.
Mum, Mum please d
do this to me please.
Please Mum.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Oh excuse me I'm
looking for the ladies.
Let me show you.
(distant moaning)
(customers laughing)
(loud moaning)
(loud laughter)
(footsteps approaching)
So, what's for pudding?
I thought you
already had yours.
Listen Ron don't
be such a pain okay.
I'll take you to see your
father on one condition.
Listen, anything
you say, anything.
Well after you see him,
and you sort out your papers,
you promise me that you
never ever mention him again.
Bill please, bill.
(knocking on table)
No no, no no madam,
no no madam madam madam.
(Speaking in foreign language)
No no no take it and just
buy yourself something nice.
Shit shit, look look.
[Olga] What?
No look.
Tell me, translate.
Tell me what they're
saying please, explain.
Trafficking drug,
drug traffickers.
They have dismantled a
ring and the chap has been,
the chap I mean the chief,
the chief has been arrested.
And they're looking
for the two others.
Fernando, Fernando
something, and the girl...
Yeah the girl.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Maria, Maria what?
Apparently they use tourists,
idiots to move the drugs
from Spain to Europa.
[Olga] Idiots?
Idiots. (Speaking
in foreign language)
Nuts, nuts.
Morons, morons. (Speaking
in foreign language)
Leave me alone.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(Singing in foreign language)
Can you stop doing that
and concentrate on
the road please?
I'm just checking alright.
It's a hired car Ron.
So 'was the other one Mum.
No no I'm just really
nervous alright.
What if he doesn't like me?
What if he doesn't like me?
Be a man for once.
Go on ask me something.
Alright, alright I will.
Why did Dad really leave us?
Sick of shit,
dickhead, wife deserter.
No I can't see it,
clunker, no it's not here.
But oh hold on, there
is something here.
Leave me alone.
(Speaking in foreign language)
I know why Dad left
us, it's because of you.
It's of the way you are
right, it's your entire being,
that disgusting way your
fucking brain works.
You're fucked up right, you're
a fucking nightmare package.
No one, no one, absolutely
no one could put up with you,
Alright not even
a fucking saint.
(brake clicking)
You get this into
your thick head.
I'm doing this for
you, not for me.
Mum I'm really sorry,
I didn't mean that.
Oh no you're not, you're
fucking not sorry at all.
Let me tell you something.
The day you stop
judging people will be
the day they stop judging
you, and then maybe,
just maybe you can
join the party.
What party?
Engine crank
(upbeat music)
(Singing in foreign language)
Surely this is not it.
You sure this is
the right place?
[Olga] Let's get this
over and done with.
(knocking on door)
[Alfred} Olga?
Alf?
You look...
Older?
Yeah well, so do you.
You must be Ron, come on.
Oh my God.
Dad?
Right yeah okay you got...
No no no no no no.
Meet the family, stay for lunch.
Please.
Please come in,
come, come in, come in.
(Dog barks and whines)
French people love their dogs.
They're actually really
good for the soul.
Listen to you, the dog
expert, good for the soul.
I'm just stating
a 'well known fact.
They do bring happiness.
Maybe you should get one.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Let me introduce
you to my lovely wife.
Shannelle.
I see. (Speaking in
foreign language)
Hey.
This is our love
(speaking in foreign language)
What's his name?
Oh she's a bitch.
We call her Olga.
(dog growls)
(slap lands)
(dog barks)
(slap lands)
(dog barks)
Fucking bitch.
Here we go.
(dog growling)
Just have a sense of humor
's sake Mum seriously.
Look what you've done to
me, look what you've done,
you've just embarrassed
me down there, seriously.
You can fuck off
right, fuck off.
Just shut your mouth Mum.
No you shut yours.
Seriously, what have you
just done to me down there?
(Speaking in foreign language)
I haven't seen the
boy sense he was born.
Don't do this to me.
I want this woman
out of my house.
[Alfred] You like it Ron?
It's lovely, thank you.
Good.
Don't you enjoy the soup?
Or do you want some chips?
You lot are a
bunch of wankers.
Why don't you ask that
pratt why we came here
and then we can just piss off?
No no let her be, let her be.
She needs time to
adjust, and you too.
We've had a really
terrible few days Dad.
I'm really really
sorry for her behavior.
Dad, you let him call you Dad?
I'm his father, he can
call me Dad if he wants to.
Perfect, and why not Papa?
At an idiot.
Tell you what son,
never get married.
What is it you need?
Tell me.
You're a bitchy
little shit isn't ya?
Have a drink with me,
we both deserve it.
We'll sort it out.
I will speak to the company
lawyers to give us a hand.
You will get your
birth certificate.
It should take no time.
Happy?
- Yeah.
- Good.
[Ron] Yeah I'm
really happy yeah.
Perfect.
It's a new start.
That's what I want.
Good, that's good.
(snoring)
(calm music)
Oh my God.
(somber music)
[Shannelle] Olga (speaking
in foreign language) Olga.
Olga, Olga, oh my god, my
dog, what are you doing?
(somber music)
Oh my God leave him
alone, leave my dog alone.
Oh my God what are you doing?
Leave my dog alone.
Olga, oh God my dog is gone.
Olga!
(Olga coughs)
Baby, she must be okay.
God you're amazing.
Thank you, oh thank you.
I mean what did happen to him?
He was an absolute loser before.
He was he was working
for Transit Travel,
my father's company.
The bastard got me
pregnant, that's it
I don't know what
I was thinking.
Doesn't surprise me at all.
So he's still a loser then?
What have you got?
What I've got.
♪ Da da da da da
Here they are.
How did?
Really?
Is that real?
Oh well we had to bribe a
few people but yes they are.
Honestly Dad,
thank you so much.
[Olga] Thank you very much.
Thank you so much,
cheers to that.
Thinks, I mean thanks
not thinks, I mean thanks.
(laughing)
[Shannelle] Now you
can travel legally.
You know what?
Son.
Olga.
Yes?
Stay with us, stay with me.
(Shannelle coughing)
What?
Just a few weeks.
See if you like it here.
He can even stay a
couple of months.
[Ron] Really?
Yeah and your mother can come
and visit us anytime
she wants to, yeah.
You know what?
I want to be a good,
a real father to you.
A 'what, sorry Alfred?
I missed that, I didn't
get what you just said.
No you heard it.
No I didn't, I missed it.
Just let him speak.
What do you say son?
Well, I'd love to.
Shannelle chuckles.
Thank you.
[Ron] No Mum I don't.
No don't worry I'm going.
I'm gonna turn in.
I'm gonna take this with
me, and I've had enough.
[Ron] Mum I didn't
mean it like that.
Have a good time,
have a good time.
(slow jazz music)
Listen I'm sorry, you
don't have to say anything.
I was out of place.
I have no right to
ask him anything,
take him away from
his Mum, from you.
Nice.
(moaning)
[Olga] Oh my God.
(moaning)
Oh no, oh no no no
no no, no not again.
Worried, we're French.
♪ Hold on hold on
hold on hold on ♪
♪ Together we'll
keep breathing ♪
♪ So just hold on hold
on hold on hold on ♪
♪ Together we'll
keep breathing ♪
♪ So just hold on hold
on hold on hold on ♪
You wanna stay?
Now you can.
Look I'm going home.
(muffled rap music)
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down round
round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down round
round round we go ♪
Oi, wait, sit down a minute.
[Ron] What Mum, what?
What do you see?
A 1967 a film, I don't know.
Look deeper.
Yeah it's our house Mum.
Look please can'we do
this some other time?
We've been driving for hours
and I'm desperate for a piss.
I see a new beginning.
No more getting pissed off with
each other and no more lies.
I definitely
second that, come on.
Oh Ron.
What Mum.
Ron come here I've got
something to tell you.
Alright well can
I'm not ill, I never was.
What do you mean?
The cancer Ron,
I never had it.
I was just frightened
of being left alone.
Figured you'd leave me the
same way your father did.
So I lied to you, I faked it
to stop you from running away.
Mum, Mum Mum what
are you talking about?
I was in the hospital
with you when
you had the op, (stammering)
it don't make no...
Gall bladder, the second
time was kidney stones.
Lost all your hair.
I made you a bloody hat
'cause you lost all your hair.
It was Antonio the hair
dresser, a perm gone wrong.
A perm?
Yes, they mixed
the activator with
the neutralizer and the
whole thing exploded.
You lied to me.
Well no no, no no, no.
I mean it started off a
small lie and it just...
Small?
Yeah and it just got bigger.
I don't believe it.
It's alright.
I need to go.
Hold on, listen Ron, the bad
News is I've been an ass
but the good news is
I'm not going to...
(engine roaring)
(tires squealing)
(inspirational music)
(engine roaring)
(tires squealing)
Oh Ron.
Ron!
(upbeat music)
(Singing in foreign language)
Hey, hey.
Leave my son alone.
(singing in foreign language)
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
Go to the next one.
Go back now.
There, there right there.
Round a bit.
Go back, there.
Go back mom stupid shout.
I can't hear a word
you're saying so shout.
I'm going, I'm going, I'm
going, I'm going, I'm going.
No to the left.
Mom seriously I'm
shitting myself up here.
Please please just tell me when.
When, that's all you
gotta say is when.
To the right.
(loud thumping)
Yes perfect.
Just there.
(singing in foreign language)
Help, help!
Mum, fucking mum!
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
(muttering)
Calm down Ron, repeat,
the game's about to start.
Where is it?
Where is what?
My cheese, my camembert.
I don't know what you wanna.
Ou bitch, you're
eating it now aren't you?
Oh grow up.
Give me that bit
now, give me that.
Get off me, get off me.
- Let me have a look.
- It's mine.
That is mine.
You're blocking my airway
you little bastard.
You need to control.
You look at you now, look what
You’re fucking done bastard.
Fucking knew it, I knew it.
You're nasty, get off me.
Yeah go.
Get up.
(upbeat music)
Come on, get up.
Give me that.
No.
Give me that.
Now you've broken it.
This cut is mine,
it's brand new.
Sit alone watching
this evening.
Would you get up please?
- What are you doing?
- Mind getting up?
Why?
Get you up then, get up.
Mum just get in the car.
No, I don't want to.
You're getting
in the car alright.
Just move, getin
the fucking car.
(upbeat music)
Look Ron.
Mum shut up.
This is ridiculous.
I said shut your mouth.
Well can you please just
tell me where we're going?
Yeah, shopping.
It's 11 o'clock at night
in case you hadn't noticed.
Some petrol station
that's still open.
You're gonna get out right.
You're gonna buy
me another cheese,
and then fuck off 'cause
I'm dumping you there.
What in pajamas?
Oh don't you worry,
\ packed your stuff.
What about my illness?
I mean who's gonna look after
me when the cancer returns?
Cancer, mum you've
been in remission
'or what about 12
I think you're fine.
(dramatic music)
(tire squealing)
(both screaming)
(metal crunching)
(upbeat music)
Ron, oh son say.
What happened?
Where are we?
We're trapped.
I think maybe, you
know, we're dead.
Dead?
Maybe.
Maybe, maybe we're in limbo
waiting to enter Heaven.
Maybe we'll see father, maybe
he's waiting for us up there,
waiting to take
us into his arms.
The holy father?
No, no my father,
you know your husband.
Oh him, no he's not dead.
But of course he's dead.
No he's not.
Mum, he died when I was
born, chickenpox you said.
Might have said
something didn't [?
But you've took me to the
cemetery every fucking year.
Your mental health.
So who the bloody hell was
the stiff wobbly flowers to?
What do I know?
I mean it was a nice
grave wasn't it?
Well so where is he now?
Forget the bastard,
I suppose it don't matter
now we're dead does it?
It's weird though, if I'm dead,
why am I still hungry?
Oh crud, we're GNC.
What the fuck we doing here?
Give me your phone.
I've only got this.
(upbeat music)
Look at that aye.
What color shall I have?
(upbeat music)
There must be something
inside these bloody boxes
(upbeat music)
Ea, what the fuck?
Oh it's lager.
Oh lager.
That's lager, yeah.
(upbeat music)
(ships horn blowing)
(metal crunching)
(screaming)
Move over.
(upbeat music)
(Engine revving)
(screaming) (metal crunching)
(back up alarm beeping)
(horn honking)
Oh fuck, where are we Mum?
(upbeat music)
Sorry about the wait.
Enjoying the refreshments?
Yes sir, yeah very much so.
Lovely tea Mr?
Brentwood, Henry Brentwood.
Now we have been
having some issues.
Let me Just see if
I get this straight.
Now you say your
mother was eating
your cheese without
your permission?
Yes sir, yeah my cheese.
Cheese.
Yeah.
Slightly burnt toast.
Nice.
And you got upset, drove to
the shop to buy some more.
Well basically the
shops were closed so
we went to a petrol
station nearby the docks.
Yeah it has everything.
This all all happened
in Tilbury right?
'And then \you had I
and ended up inside a
container bound for Morocco.
That's it.
And somehow you managed
to survive the six
day trip inside a
freight container.
We were lucky we had a
big bag of jelly babies.
Yeah and the beer.
Ah yes, Young's Rampart
Triple X Special Ale.
Hoppy but refreshing.
Hoppy?
Yeah hoppy.
Splendid.
Look we just want some new
clothes and something to eat
and passports and
a flight back home.
Speedy boarding?
Oh yes please.
We have a problem.
Yeah?
Olga Percival, your
lady friend here.
No, my mother.
Well she is in our records.
We have all the
relevant data for her,
passport number,
national insurance.
She is a British citizen,
single, no children.
But that's, so
what are you saying?
What I'm saying is we have
no record for you, nothing.
Mum?
It's all perfectly
simple really you just
apply for naturalization,
obtain the certificate,
surrender the old
passport, get the surrender
certificate and then
apply for a British one.
Obtain the British
passport, apply for the OCI,
there's a little exam, and
then get hold of the OCI.
Two years, tops,
should all be sorted.
Of course by then who knows
who we'll be letting in?
Might not even be worth it.
Sorry, sorry I don't quite
get what you're saying.
Can you just repeat everything
you just said again please?
You are not a British citizen.
I mean we couldn't even find
a birth certificate for you.
And to be frank there are easier
obtaining a passport.
Mum, Mum could you
please tell me what
the bloody hell
is going on here?
I think you may be, you know.
I might be what, adopted?
No, of course not.
Look, think about
it, the way you are.
You know what I mean right?
No, no I don't.
I think you may be French.
French?
What do you mean French?
You know, from France, French.
Mum Mum, but my name's
Martin, Ron Martin.
And how the bloody
hell could I be French?
Actually it's probably
pronounced Martin.
No it's Martin, Ron Martin.
Ron Martin.
- Martin.
- Martin.
Martin, Martin.
No, no, Martin, Ron Martin.
Martin.
Martin, Martin, Ron Martin.
Martin, Martin.
Listen you pompous
asshole, it's Martin.
Oi, I don't know about him
but I am a British citizen.
I have my rights.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(dramatic music)
Let me explain, let me explain.
You've got to think about
it, I's not that bad.
What do you mean.
How could it be any worse Mum?
Honestly how could
it be any worse?
Well you could be a German.
It was a Hindu, so we, we
got the ferry to the Calais.
And then from the
ferry we got the coach
and then I fell in love.
Right you fell in love with
a coach driver, yeah right.
Yeah how'd you know?
We could take it
as a free holiday.
Free holiday, free holiday
my ass, Mum we are fucked.
No we're not, I
mean think about it.
We just got to get some money,
a cheap flight and
then that's it.
No Mum we're fucked, and
we don't even have that.
Mum we have got nothing,
nothing, nothing.
Oh will you stop
being so negative?
Ron what are we?
Freaking geez, I don't know.
No.
Well then what,
economic migrants?
I ain't got a clue.
We are British, we
can overcome anything.
We used to own this land.
Well no, actually
the French did.
What about Saudia Arabia?
What you mean in
Lawrence of Arabia?
What about him anyway?
Oh yeah him, or whatever
his fucking name is.
Yeah what about him?
Just shut up and listen.
I have been, I'm fucking
shutting up and I'm listening.
What, what, I'm waiting, what?
Right, just take it easy
and look at this alright.
This is where we are okay.
So we just follow
the coast to Gharbia,
reach Tangier, swim to
Gibraltar, get into Spain,
Cordoba, llidza, Barcelona,
climb the Pyrenees,
reach Toulouse, a little
bit more, and that is it.
Great, great, and
I mean how are you
planning to do all
that traveling?
Apart from the fucking
climbing and the swimming
what are we gonna do
Mum, what hitchhike?
This is all you gotta
do, and it'll work.
Just stop it Mum,
you're so embarrassing.
Won't be when we get a lift.
Hey, let's do this.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
Vidi, Vidi.
Oh thank you so much Vidi.
Me, welcome.
Ah thank you.
Where should I take you?
Where to what?
Tangier please.
- Tangier (chuckles)
that's a long ride.
Well it's your lucky day.
Yes it is.
I took this ride, only to
have to obtained, let's go.
Let's go to Tangier.
Mum Mum Mum this.
How the hell are we
gonna pay for this ride?
I don't know, I'll figure
something out when we get there.
With what?
I'll give him a blow job.
(upbeat music)
So are you two married?
No, no of course not.
Do you really think
I'd marry that there?
Very lovely lady.
So if you two are not married,
just a little bit of
the hanky panky right?
Hank.
So siblings.
Yeah siblings,
yeah that's right.
That's your sister.
She's not my, how do you
know she'd be my sister?
So what do you do then?
We ah, we run a...
Shipping, import and export.
I'm married
myself, have a look.
Aye, a little boy.
Open it all up
please, come on.
That one, seven.
You must be a.
A dad. (Laughing)
Oh no, I mean happy.
Yeah happy dad.
What's your secret?
Oh no no no, no.
Just have to look
at a woman and bang.
What do you mean?
You know what I mean,
I'll get you pregnant
just with my eyes,
just a look and bang.
Bang?
Yeah.
[Olga] Bang bang bang.
Bang bang bang yeah.
[Olga] Bang bang bang.
Oh please shut up.
(singing in foreign language)
What are you doing?
Whoa you are quick.
- Just leave me alone.
- And you're cute, like me.
Sometimes you have
to give it time
and extra gently you know.
Look mate I don't care.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to have a
piss, leave me alone.
Hey listen to me, me and you
mother we're Just having fun.
I don't care about my
Mum, you can go and do
whatever mate, it don't
mean nothing to me.
(crickets chirping)
(door opens and closes)
(Engine cranking)
Hey hey hey hey,
hey whoa, hey.
(tires squealing)
(upbeat music)
What are you doing,
where is the cabbie?
Having a piss.
You've nicked the
cab haven't you?
Yeah, yeah I have yeah.
I don't believe,
you are unbelievable.
I know why you've done this.
Every time someone
pays an interest in me,
you do it to split us up.
(singing in foreign language)
So you just follow the north
until you get a city
till you reach
Malabata, you got that?
Yeah listen, do you
mind if we stop off
and get something
to eat first please?
Absolutely starving.
[Olga] Alright
be back in a sec.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
What are you doing in my car?
Are you a taxi?
Yeah I'm a taxi.
Then go go go,
go ahead, go ahead.
Go drive.
Which way are you going mate?
[Passenger] Drive man.
Alright.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Where we going mate?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Keep it straight then?
Sorry, I'm so sorry man.
Keep going right here?
Whoo.
Oh thank you very much.
(Speaking in foreign language)
What the bloody
hell do you want?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Castle what castle,
castle, castle what?
(upbeat music)
Alright then let's do it.
(upbeat music)
(Speaking in foreign language)
I understand, I
understand straight.
Money money money.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
My friend thank you
very much, now go.
Where we go you have
to tell me, come on.
Do I look like I'm
Moroccan? (Laughing)
I'm not Moro an.
Yeah so my name is Martin,
Ron Martin actually.
I'm actually a little French.
You like French?
(kids yelling)
(Speaking in foreign language)
Go where we go, you
tell me, which way?
(upbeat music)
Alright you are my
last job, where to?
Shit!
How the bloody hell
did you find me?
An Englishman
in my fucking car.
Nobody screws with my car.
(punches landing)
Where have you been?
Where the bloody
hell have you been?
Re have you been?
I've been walking around
town just looking for you.
Listen Mum you would not
believe what happened to me.
Oh really, and I been sitting
here like a fucking moron.
Don't worry, I've
I've been driving around
like a fucking lunatic.
I've got this.
Idiot you've got
95 dirham bees.
That's about
six quid.
What do you mean six quid?
How do you know that's.
Because whilst you
been playing cabbie
I been sitting here
all day like a moron
learning these, currency,
every fucking around the world.
How would you fucking know,
now what are we gonna do?
Nell what are we gonna do no.
Name a country,
that is six quid.
I tell you what we're
gonna do now, hand it over.
Hand over what?
Fine, I'm taking it.
What do you mean,
where you going?
To spend it.
(singing in foreign language)
See, Spain's just there.
[Ron] So what do we do, swim?
([Olga)] You wouldn't
last 10 minutes.
[Ron] Well go on then,
you can go first, hop on.
Look Mum, Mum, there's
something down there, look.
(water lapping)
(thunder rolling)
(baby crying)
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air
♪ They fly so high
they reach the sky ♪
♪ Like my dreams
they fade and die ♪
♪ Fortune's always hiding
♪ I've looked everywhere
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles
♪ Pretty bubbles in the air
You used to sing that to me.
Yeah I did.
(thunder crashes)
(dramatic music)
(water lapping)
(baby babbling)
Mum.
Mum, Mum.
Mum wake up.
How long have we been
floating in this shitter for?
And where the bloody hell
has the Spanish coast gone?
(Speaking in foreign language)
We're gonna help hem.
- Help them?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Come on Ron.
- I don't know.
- Come on Ron.
- Mom, I'm a bit.
- Don't worry.
- I'm worried Mum.
Are you sure?
(baby crying)
Come on Ron, let's go.
Oh I'm so sorry.
(All talking at once)
Come on then.
Hold on, hold on.
Mum, Mum.
I'm so sorry.
Mum, another woman.
[Olga] Come on darling.
Oh my God, oh I'm so.
Mum, Mum help, Mum!
(all talking at once)
(baby crying)
(somber music)
(acoustic piano music)
What do we do now?
But Mum I'd do
absolutely anything
to have my recliner
and a nice cheese roll.
Oh you're so stupid.
Unbelievable.
If you had just said
said sorry right
I'd not be out here about
to be eaten by sharks.
Alright Ron, I get it alright.
Would you look at me?
You just cannot say it can you?
Say what?
The magic words.
Abra fucking cadabra.
Do you know what?
This is what war's
all about Mum.
Century after century
people fighting
all because of the
same bloody thing.
What, sandwich stealers?
Being unable to
accept an apologize Mum,
being incapable
of assuming blame.
It's about understanding and
being respectful to others.
(laughing)
Oh God, you truly
are a bloody bloker.
(laughing)
So funny.
Ron what are you doing?
Ron come back here.
Alright Ron I'm sorry.
(dramatic music)
Ron I'm sorry.
I said I'm freaking sorry!
Come on Mum, pedal
pedal, pedal Mum, pedal.
(calm music)
(crickets chirping)
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum.
Ron.
[Ron] Mum, Mum,
Mum I can't move.
Ron?
[Ron] Shit, shit, oh shit.
- Oh my God.
- Mum.
My God Ron neither can I.
Ron I can't move.
Mum help, help!
- Help, help!
- Help, help!
Ron are you still there?
No, no Mum I'm not I've
just gone for a quick walk.
But don't worry I'll be later.
It's not funny.
I can't even feel my
arms and legs anymore.
What do want me
to do about it Mum?
What do you want a massage.
Come to me I'll give
you a fucking massage.
(both talking at once)
Wait, don't fuck, do you really
think this is appropriate?
(grunting)
Help, help!
- Help, help!
- Help, help!
(upbeat music)
(geiger counter whining)
What a crap holiday.
I need to get to tomorrow
I need my medicati.
What medication?
My selecta, luvox,
paxon, and prozac.
It's just the stuff I
take to cope with you.
Yeah so let me give you
a natural alternative.
What is it you don't get Mum?
Okay Ron, let's
not lose it okay?
I mean we've got
to stick together
if 'we want to get
out of this mess.
I'm done with you.
Now listen wait.
I mean don't you fucking want
to end up and be a Brit again,
and get your birth certificate,
and meet your father?
What did you just say?
You heard me.
My father?
Yes, your father.
But you don't
know where he is.
Oh I do, he's in Calais.
What Calais?
Well yeah that's what I
see in the letters he sends.
Birthday and stuff.
Hang on, he sends me
letters on my birthday?
Every year with the money.
What money?
For nappies and stuff.
Mum, I'm 21.
Listen right, I want me
money, and I want my father.
And what a bloody hell
is he doing in Calais?
I don't know, I mean he's
working on fish markets
or dealing with
refugees like us.
Hey.
You want to go and
(laughing)
Stick with me and
I'll think about it.
Forget it, now way.
I swore I would never ever
do that again, no way.
♪ I'll give you one night
only for your eyes only ♪
> Oh oh oh.
♪ Like an eagle in the
sky you can't control it ♪
♪ There's a magic in my eyes
♪ And I can't stop
it burning down ♪
♪ On the edge of tonight
♪ 'Cause tomorrow we'll
be owning the world ♪
♪ You know like
pure white gold ♪
♪ I'll give you one night
only for your eyes only ♪
♪ Forever forever forever
♪ This is how we burn
♪ This is how we burn
Wow, wow wow wow.
Wow ladies and gentlemen.
For the rest of the folks
in the place, fantastic.
Wow wow wow, now remember,
you don't forget to vote.
So give me your
tickets, very important.
Pineapple up here on the
bar, make them count.
Now then, this is what
we're waiting for.
This next contestant
needs no introduction.
She is the magnificent,
the majestic.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
(singing in foreign language)
Fuck, say Mum what
are you so happy about?
Can't you hear the way
they're cheering her?
You know son, sometimes all
you need in life is a pen.
What do you mean pen?
Now get a pen,
I'll check our names,
and you drop them in
the fucking pineapple.
(upbeat music)
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Sounds like we all night!
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Can I have just that one
more round of applause
for all of our
acts this evening?
(Audience cheers a applauds)
Now then, now then, quiet quiet.
Here is that time of the night.
We're gonna find out who's
000 Euro prize
for the 20th anniversary of
our Magic Singing Competition.
Now the votes have been
counted and verified.
(Audience cheers a applauds)
And in this lovely gold envelope
right here I have the winner.
You ready?
Can I get a drum roll?
And the winner is.
Paloma Benitez!
(Audience cheers a applauds)
(singing in foreign language)
What the hell did you do?
I marked the freaking cards
and I put them in the
apple like you said.
I said fucking pineapple.
You idiot.
Hey, whoo yeah.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Congratulations.
(Speaking in foreign language)
So you here for a few days?
No, no we're stuck in this
shit hole with no place to go.
No hotel, no place, no?
No we don't either.
We just dig a hole |n
the sand like a tortoise
(speaking in foreign language)
He's a little bit slow.
Slow, I like slow yeah.
Listen here sweet y
yeah, why don't you just
leave us alone and take
your tits and ass with you.
Now just fuck off.
A\ - Okay.
No stay, stay, stay.
Listen to him, stay
stay, the matching man.
Can't you just see the bitch.
Just up and
you've been putting this off?
Is it just to piss
me off or have you
got some sort of higher purpose?
No higher purpose no.
You're funny yeah.
Come.
Yes, I have a bed.
A bed?
Yeah a bed.
(singing in foreign language)
My house.
Is that it?
(crickets chirping)
We love it.
(light jazz piano music)
What are you some
kind of hippie?
(Speaking in foreign language)
You smoke pot?
Mother mother, mother please.
Score some pot.
Here.
Smoke.
You too?
To the beach.
Vamonos.
(light jazz piano music)
Ck and roll mus.
♪ You give me your love
you give me your love ♪
♪ Won't you give me
baby I need it yeah ♪
And I like your
eyes, they are so big.
If we had children together
they'd be so beautiful.
What?
Tell me about you.
Me?
(Speaking in foreign language)
Well it seems that I'm not
always who I thought I was.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Well I'm,
I'm not a Brit.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Of course you are British.
Drink beer, and more beer,
and get a walk,
and look both ways.
Just forget about it.
I work in telemarketing.
In tele?
See hello, ring
ring, ring ring.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Hello Miss I
understand you must be
at least 87 years
old is that correct?
Fantastic, fantastic.
Would you be interested in our
lifelong health insurance offer?
Honestly, it's not too late.
Poor people, that's.
It's not, it's not.
Yeah it is.
It's not, I don't ac
my job glad like
that to be honest.
I see my job being
more like a therapist.
No honestly.
People who would
always, under pressure,
trapped in their jobs, pisse
off with their loved ones,
or their neighbors,
or their bosses,
or even the dick head who drives
too slow in the fast lane.
Well that's where I
come in, I call them up.
They insult me, they let it
rip, they slam the phone down.
Then suddenly they actually feel
much better by themselves.
You're crazy.
I like it.
Yes?
So, so what about you?
Me?
I just want 10 sing, you
know, touch people's hearts.
(Speaking in foreign language)
But I also ring ring ring.
Wait you're also on the
racket making phone calls?
No Carino, mine a solicitor.
Ring ring ring.
Ah yes, yes.
I don't understand a
word but I love it.
Ah I'm never gonna
make it here you know.
I've been doing that for
two years, and for what?
No come please, please
come to England with me.
Honestly with your
voice, your accent.
I could get you a job anywhere.
You're crazy.
You're a crazy guy
with a big heart.
(inspirational music)
(Olga screaming)
Mum.
(flames crackling loudly)
Mum, Mum, Mum.
(dramatic music)
(sirens blaring)
I don't care just
let me see my mother.
I don't care about
your good, I don't care
'cause I want to
see my mother okay.
I want to see my mother!
You will see your
mother in the morning.
I don't want to see my
mother in the morning.
I need to see my mother now!
(both shouting over each other)
I don't speak Spanigh,
talk to me in English.
Talk to me in English.
I need to see my mother
now, I need my mother.
Go home, go the
fucking home okay.
I'm fucking tired of you,
so go home and relax.
Me go home.
Go the fucking home.
Go home, you want
to tell me to go home?
Go home.
Home, I'll give you home.
(punches landing)
I just want to see my mother.
She's in good hands.
That bastard, he
told me to go home.
So what is he supposed to say?
You know on my fucking
Birthday one year right.
I had this huge huge
bust up with her.
So what I done was
I packed my bags and
well I told her to go to hell.
And then when she saw me going
through the door, she collapsed.
The next day was probably
1e worst day in my life.
The doctor found something
in her small intestine.
It was a tumor.
She has cancer?
Night after night I'd lie
awake trying to figure out
how I could take
ck all the horrible
horrible things I've
said and done but,
I couldn't.
I felt so alone.
You're here with me now,
$0 go easy on yourself.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Know, I leave my
parents 12 years ago.
(Speaking in foreign language)
And I telephone twice,
to ask for dinero, money.
I'm sure you had your reasons.
Selfish.
All I'm trying to
say is that you,
(speaking in foreign
language) you know.
You perfecto, you perfecto.
What?
You see that sign?
Chapel second floor.
Want to confess before
you die of nose blood?
Fuck it, fuck it.
Marry me, go on marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
No I'm serious marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Seriously why not?
Marry me, come on
please marry me.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Look English right,
do you understand?
Let's get married,
let's do it, why not?
It's not funny. (Laughing)
I'm serious, marry me.
Look fuck it, just
do it, marry me.
("Here comes the bride")
[Priest] Do you Ron Martin
I'm sorry it's Martin.
Mar?
Yeah Martin.
Martin?
Do you Ron Martin,
take this woman,
Paloma Benitez, to be
your lawfully wedded wife,
to love and cherish for
better or for worse?
Look.
I've got some clothes for you,
very nice, very nice clothes.
You okay Mum?
[Paloma] Open the card.
[Ron] Open it Mum go
on, go on open it go on.
[Paloma] You'll need your
photo for the passport.
How, what?
How did you do this?
Amigos I've got
friends in town.
I pay all the price this
good money, all I have.
They're legit Mum, I used
mine in the registry office.
Me and Paloma we're
officially married.
(Speaking in foreign language)
What?
Cheese.
(upbeat music)
Look Mum.
What's this?
I sold my wheels ♪ I rent a car, you a
Hang on wait wait wait, wait.
What about Paloma,
isn't she coming with us?
I have to sort some things
you know, pay camping site.
And in two or three weeks
I ' will be in Englatara.
And in two to three
days Mum, we'll be home.
Happy?
Yeah.
(acoustic piano music)
(upbeat music)
Whoo, we're going home.
(upbeat music)
& This is how we burn.
Goodbye.
Yes.
I'm so happy Mum,
I can't believe it.
(Horns honking)
What's happening Mum?
I don't know maybe they're
looking for terrorists.
Maybe we should get
passports ready, here you go.
(Horn honking)
Take it easy Mum please.
Can you get a move on?
We've got jobs to go to.
Mum, Mum you're
gonna get us arrested.
Could you just slow down?
(Horn honking)
For fuck's sake Mum please.
Just stop it would
you please, stop it?
But I like it.
(horn honks)
Stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Could you stop it please?
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Mum please just stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Stop it.
- (horn honks)
- Like it.
Could you stop doing that?
Mum can you just
stop doing that?
Mum stop it.
(horn honking repeatedly)
You like it, you like
it, you like it, you...
(horn honking repeatedly)
Are you that much of an idiot?
Stop it alright.
Mum Mum alright don't blow
that, just stop it Mum Mum!
(horn honking constantly)
(bag exploding)
(coughing)
Mum.
At the fuck is this shit?
Take a guess.
Who the bloody hell put
this shit in the car Mum?
Take another guess.
We've got to get
out of here Ron.
I'm serious we've
I A Ran? Ron, Ron?
I thought she was the one.
I thought she loved me Mum.
(Horns honking)
Listen Ron, the world's
a fucking bitch alright.
Fuck it and move.
Fuck get out of here,
get our of here now.
(upbeat music)
(alarm blaring)
(upbeat music)
I feel terrible Mum.
I feel all crumbly inside.
I don't know what to do.
Let it go just
take a breather and
walk away from it and
just (exhales) let it go.
I've never felt
like this before.
How long will it take
to get this out of me?
I got this feeling
inside me Mum.
(crying)
Why did she do that to me, why?
First of all you're
gonna feel in denial,
and then you'll feel
all pissed off and then,
and then a spot of depression.
Finally you'll a
you'll accept you're
a fucking muppet.
Now, have you got our passports?
Oh you idiot, not again.
(upbeat music)
(calm music)
Well so where the
bloody hell are we now?
Wait Mum, come let's
just take the car.
No we can't, they'd
be looking for us.
What's your plan then?
Have a look, the Pyrenees.
I really hope
you're not thinking
what I think you're thinking.
France is just
somewhere down there.
Down there?
Somewhere down there?
Down fucking where Mum?
What that street there,
just to the right of it?
Mother we are never
ever gonna make that.
(inspirational music)
Mum?
Yes, let's ramble.
I'm walking fucking too.
Can you just pace
yourself please?
'Cause the faster we walk
the sooner we get there.
(inspirational music)
[Ron] Mum.
Mum?
(inspirational music)
Hold on.
I have to go to the ladies.
I don't fucking believe it.
Oh for fuck's sake
you got me a fright.
Where the bloody hell
did you get that from?
I got it from your.
Just throw it away Mum,
seriously just throw it away.
Are you crazy?
This shit will get us
to France in no time.
(upbeat music)
France.
(church bells ringing)
(children playing)
Listen.
(inspirational music)
Mum.
Mum.
(inspirational music)
Come here, come
here, come here.
(inspirational music)
I've got money, and a
little bit left over.
Mum those kids looked
like they were about eight,
You’re so wrong, you
should act older Mum.
Yeah shouldn't have
probably did that.
You know what we should do
now we're in France don't you?
Get a car, and a bite to eat.
(Speaking in foreign language)
I don't know what he's saying
but what a lovely accent.
Whatever you choose is all
simply delicious, delicious.
Delicious.
Delicious.
Delicious, madam is delicious.
Can you please, please
don't encourage her?
Delicious.
Listen, mother, she
an have the mutton.
And I'll have the
cassoulet please.
- Cassoulet, mutton (speaking)
in foreign language)
- Delicious.
- Delicious.
Sorry mate can you just
bring the bloody food alright.
Yeah I think we get
the point right.
Delicious, delicious.
[Waiter] Delicious.
Delicious.
Can you just,
everyone's looking at me.
An you stop it please?
Those were simply delicious.
Stop Mum, don't,
just stop please.
Listen, listen Mum.
We need to stop at Calais,
sort out my documents,
and then meet father.
Listen, what do you say?
I need to go and
powder me nose.
Mum, Mum please d
do this to me please.
Please Mum.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Oh excuse me I'm
looking for the ladies.
Let me show you.
(distant moaning)
(customers laughing)
(loud moaning)
(loud laughter)
(footsteps approaching)
So, what's for pudding?
I thought you
already had yours.
Listen Ron don't
be such a pain okay.
I'll take you to see your
father on one condition.
Listen, anything
you say, anything.
Well after you see him,
and you sort out your papers,
you promise me that you
never ever mention him again.
Bill please, bill.
(knocking on table)
No no, no no madam,
no no madam madam madam.
(Speaking in foreign language)
No no no take it and just
buy yourself something nice.
Shit shit, look look.
[Olga] What?
No look.
Tell me, translate.
Tell me what they're
saying please, explain.
Trafficking drug,
drug traffickers.
They have dismantled a
ring and the chap has been,
the chap I mean the chief,
the chief has been arrested.
And they're looking
for the two others.
Fernando, Fernando
something, and the girl...
Yeah the girl.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Maria, Maria what?
Apparently they use tourists,
idiots to move the drugs
from Spain to Europa.
[Olga] Idiots?
Idiots. (Speaking
in foreign language)
Nuts, nuts.
Morons, morons. (Speaking
in foreign language)
Leave me alone.
(Speaking in foreign language)
(Singing in foreign language)
Can you stop doing that
and concentrate on
the road please?
I'm just checking alright.
It's a hired car Ron.
So 'was the other one Mum.
No no I'm just really
nervous alright.
What if he doesn't like me?
What if he doesn't like me?
Be a man for once.
Go on ask me something.
Alright, alright I will.
Why did Dad really leave us?
Sick of shit,
dickhead, wife deserter.
No I can't see it,
clunker, no it's not here.
But oh hold on, there
is something here.
Leave me alone.
(Speaking in foreign language)
I know why Dad left
us, it's because of you.
It's of the way you are
right, it's your entire being,
that disgusting way your
fucking brain works.
You're fucked up right, you're
a fucking nightmare package.
No one, no one, absolutely
no one could put up with you,
Alright not even
a fucking saint.
(brake clicking)
You get this into
your thick head.
I'm doing this for
you, not for me.
Mum I'm really sorry,
I didn't mean that.
Oh no you're not, you're
fucking not sorry at all.
Let me tell you something.
The day you stop
judging people will be
the day they stop judging
you, and then maybe,
just maybe you can
join the party.
What party?
Engine crank
(upbeat music)
(Singing in foreign language)
Surely this is not it.
You sure this is
the right place?
[Olga] Let's get this
over and done with.
(knocking on door)
[Alfred} Olga?
Alf?
You look...
Older?
Yeah well, so do you.
You must be Ron, come on.
Oh my God.
Dad?
Right yeah okay you got...
No no no no no no.
Meet the family, stay for lunch.
Please.
Please come in,
come, come in, come in.
(Dog barks and whines)
French people love their dogs.
They're actually really
good for the soul.
Listen to you, the dog
expert, good for the soul.
I'm just stating
a 'well known fact.
They do bring happiness.
Maybe you should get one.
(Speaking in foreign language)
Let me introduce
you to my lovely wife.
Shannelle.
I see. (Speaking in
foreign language)
Hey.
This is our love
(speaking in foreign language)
What's his name?
Oh she's a bitch.
We call her Olga.
(dog growls)
(slap lands)
(dog barks)
(slap lands)
(dog barks)
Fucking bitch.
Here we go.
(dog growling)
Just have a sense of humor
's sake Mum seriously.
Look what you've done to
me, look what you've done,
you've just embarrassed
me down there, seriously.
You can fuck off
right, fuck off.
Just shut your mouth Mum.
No you shut yours.
Seriously, what have you
just done to me down there?
(Speaking in foreign language)
I haven't seen the
boy sense he was born.
Don't do this to me.
I want this woman
out of my house.
[Alfred] You like it Ron?
It's lovely, thank you.
Good.
Don't you enjoy the soup?
Or do you want some chips?
You lot are a
bunch of wankers.
Why don't you ask that
pratt why we came here
and then we can just piss off?
No no let her be, let her be.
She needs time to
adjust, and you too.
We've had a really
terrible few days Dad.
I'm really really
sorry for her behavior.
Dad, you let him call you Dad?
I'm his father, he can
call me Dad if he wants to.
Perfect, and why not Papa?
At an idiot.
Tell you what son,
never get married.
What is it you need?
Tell me.
You're a bitchy
little shit isn't ya?
Have a drink with me,
we both deserve it.
We'll sort it out.
I will speak to the company
lawyers to give us a hand.
You will get your
birth certificate.
It should take no time.
Happy?
- Yeah.
- Good.
[Ron] Yeah I'm
really happy yeah.
Perfect.
It's a new start.
That's what I want.
Good, that's good.
(snoring)
(calm music)
Oh my God.
(somber music)
[Shannelle] Olga (speaking
in foreign language) Olga.
Olga, Olga, oh my god, my
dog, what are you doing?
(somber music)
Oh my God leave him
alone, leave my dog alone.
Oh my God what are you doing?
Leave my dog alone.
Olga, oh God my dog is gone.
Olga!
(Olga coughs)
Baby, she must be okay.
God you're amazing.
Thank you, oh thank you.
I mean what did happen to him?
He was an absolute loser before.
He was he was working
for Transit Travel,
my father's company.
The bastard got me
pregnant, that's it
I don't know what
I was thinking.
Doesn't surprise me at all.
So he's still a loser then?
What have you got?
What I've got.
♪ Da da da da da
Here they are.
How did?
Really?
Is that real?
Oh well we had to bribe a
few people but yes they are.
Honestly Dad,
thank you so much.
[Olga] Thank you very much.
Thank you so much,
cheers to that.
Thinks, I mean thanks
not thinks, I mean thanks.
(laughing)
[Shannelle] Now you
can travel legally.
You know what?
Son.
Olga.
Yes?
Stay with us, stay with me.
(Shannelle coughing)
What?
Just a few weeks.
See if you like it here.
He can even stay a
couple of months.
[Ron] Really?
Yeah and your mother can come
and visit us anytime
she wants to, yeah.
You know what?
I want to be a good,
a real father to you.
A 'what, sorry Alfred?
I missed that, I didn't
get what you just said.
No you heard it.
No I didn't, I missed it.
Just let him speak.
What do you say son?
Well, I'd love to.
Shannelle chuckles.
Thank you.
[Ron] No Mum I don't.
No don't worry I'm going.
I'm gonna turn in.
I'm gonna take this with
me, and I've had enough.
[Ron] Mum I didn't
mean it like that.
Have a good time,
have a good time.
(slow jazz music)
Listen I'm sorry, you
don't have to say anything.
I was out of place.
I have no right to
ask him anything,
take him away from
his Mum, from you.
Nice.
(moaning)
[Olga] Oh my God.
(moaning)
Oh no, oh no no no
no no, no not again.
Worried, we're French.
♪ Hold on hold on
hold on hold on ♪
♪ Together we'll
keep breathing ♪
♪ So just hold on hold
on hold on hold on ♪
♪ Together we'll
keep breathing ♪
♪ So just hold on hold
on hold on hold on ♪
You wanna stay?
Now you can.
Look I'm going home.
(muffled rap music)
♪ I like that up down
round round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down round
round round we go ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down see this town
nothing but 1000 shows ♪
♪ One day I could be high
one day I could be low ♪
♪ Up down round
round round we go ♪
Oi, wait, sit down a minute.
[Ron] What Mum, what?
What do you see?
A 1967 a film, I don't know.
Look deeper.
Yeah it's our house Mum.
Look please can'we do
this some other time?
We've been driving for hours
and I'm desperate for a piss.
I see a new beginning.
No more getting pissed off with
each other and no more lies.
I definitely
second that, come on.
Oh Ron.
What Mum.
Ron come here I've got
something to tell you.
Alright well can
I'm not ill, I never was.
What do you mean?
The cancer Ron,
I never had it.
I was just frightened
of being left alone.
Figured you'd leave me the
same way your father did.
So I lied to you, I faked it
to stop you from running away.
Mum, Mum Mum what
are you talking about?
I was in the hospital
with you when
you had the op, (stammering)
it don't make no...
Gall bladder, the second
time was kidney stones.
Lost all your hair.
I made you a bloody hat
'cause you lost all your hair.
It was Antonio the hair
dresser, a perm gone wrong.
A perm?
Yes, they mixed
the activator with
the neutralizer and the
whole thing exploded.
You lied to me.
Well no no, no no, no.
I mean it started off a
small lie and it just...
Small?
Yeah and it just got bigger.
I don't believe it.
It's alright.
I need to go.
Hold on, listen Ron, the bad
News is I've been an ass
but the good news is
I'm not going to...
(engine roaring)
(tires squealing)
(inspirational music)
(engine roaring)
(tires squealing)
Oh Ron.
Ron!
(upbeat music)
(Singing in foreign language)
Hey, hey.
Leave my son alone.
(singing in foreign language)