I Killed Einstein, Gentlemen (1970) - full transcript
This futuristic science fiction comedy features an atomic bomb blast that causes women to grow beards and lose the ability to have children. A summit meeting is held at the United Nations, with the proposed solution of building a time machine. The decision is made to travel back in time and murder Einstein, with the hopeful result being that without the noted mathematician's research there will be no atomic bombs.
Honey, it doesn't bother you
that we can't have children?
Not at all, dear.
Stop!
Miss Swansonova, you have
to be like women in love!
Just imagine that you're
in love with Mr. Clark.
Put your hand like this. Yes.
And let's try that again.
Excuse me. I'm sorry,
but the script is changed?
This isn't about any poetry for us.
But look, we got the text from you,
from the UN. I doubt that...
Look, she's supposed to say:
"It doesn't bother me dear,
I'll shave first thing tomorrow."
I'm warning you, that I will
not say that under any condition.
And as a member of the
Federation of Women...
I'm going to maintain
solidarity with the others.
We're not shaving out of protest.
Miss, please understand our position.
Help us calm the community.
The strikes are growing,
a lot people are divorcing...
But that's not our fault.
Who's to blame for the fact that we
don't know why we're growing beards?
That's the fault of a group of
nuclear fanatics with the G bomb.
And when are you finally
going to get rid of them?
As soon as we find out where they
hid themselves with the experiment.
We've built a very big
research institute to counter...
...the effects of the
fall out from the G bomb.
- Yeah, and?
- And...
Excuse me, but we're
having a demonstration.
We'd probably also be that nervous,
if our cells went crazy like that.
...And today there was
another big protest.
In spite of that, the
group of nuclear fanatics
continues with its secret experiments.
One of them was detected today
at 3:07 Greenwich mean time.
We ask, what will they do against...
Let's continue.
The fall out of the G Bomb, as
we call the Grantov bomb now,
doesn't effect smoothly, but rather
the opposite. Do you understand?
Here, I'll show you
demonstration on showpiece.
Shaving with my machine is built
on completely new principles.
It is a deep shave.
As far as we know, the women
started growing facial hair...
...uh, all at once and terribly quickly.
My little machine...
- How much?
- Look at the computer.
Hm, 21,740...
The appearance of new hair lasts maybe
Maybe 2 days, maybe
3 days, maybe a year.
The operation is absolutely simple.
Press... here.
You should know that...
It works.
- You said deep.
- Deep.
- I'll order a toupee immediately.
- No, Sneider, no toupee.
I'll keep it like this.
So that women can see
that I'm also sacrificing.
It works...
A six million dollar investment...
...and this is the result.
And what good is it if
women refuse to shave?
- What, you don't read the newspaper?
- No.
- Out!
- Out!
But it works.
Out!
Out!
Sneider!
Why doesn't our research,
for all this money...
...try and eradicate
the root of the problem?
The root of the problem is in the
beginning of modern physics, Mr. Secretary.
Professor Moore has already come to
that conclusion about 6 months ago.
They wanted to go to the year
1911 in his time machine...
...and kill professor Einstein...
...on whose calculations
the Grant group was built.
In that case, the progression of modern
physics would go in a different direction.
If the basis hadn't existed,
there wouldn't even be G radiation.
We simply wouldn't have
what we have today.
If this experiment is successful,
Mr. Moore would
eliminate the fanatics...
...and they will be out of
sight where ever they may be.
Okay.
Tell them we want to finance
Professor Moore's project.
This way, please.
Here you are.
The final step of modern physics.
The only of its kind.
The life work of Professor Moore.
15:30, at the Technology Institute
meeting with Einstein...
...this is insane assembly,
what she think up...
...meeting with Einstein,
I'm going out to a dinner
party at 17:00... that's...
And at 17:30 Wertheim the banker will
go into his apartment and delay him.
- What will you have, Mr. Professor?
- Oh? Chicken.
A whole one, or just half?
- Half is enough.
- Here you are.
- Is it boiled or fried?
- Fried.
There's nothing better
than eating in peace.
Cleopatra! Come here, kitty.
You know you'll get
some too. Don't worry.
- Professor Moore, get ready!
- Right away!
I'll be right back. Just wait here.
I just have to kill Mr. Einstein.
Those are the people who will
become the guardians of humanity.
Dr. Gwen Williams, expert on the
historical period between 1910 and 1915.
Pleased to meet you.
Professor Frank Pech.
Pleased to meet you.
Professor Moore, the
inventor of the machine.
A wonderful project.
- Binoculars.
- I forgot.
Somehow you look
skeptical, your Excellence.
- But we know why we're doing this.
- Yes.
With the help of the time machine and in
this historical rocket, we'll go back...
...to the past, onto the stage
of the Prague National Theater.
Take a look.
On the afternoon of May 26, 1911,
Mares' "Conquest of the Moon" will be playing.
Arriving in Prague and leaving
will be absolutely inconspicuous.
And why exactly in Prague?
According to the diary of the banker
Wertheim from Prague I found out that
Professor Einstein almost
lost his life in his apartment.
And we'll just slightly modify
history in the year 1911.
We're just holding back
a few seconds of fate.
Mr. Wertheim won't walk into the door...
...Professor Einstein won't
stand up from the chair...
And the chandelier will kill him.
And that will be the least
forced interference with history.
But excuse me!
- This project depends on murder.
- Yes.
But a murder of someone who has
been dead a long time, General.
- Get ready, please, get ready.
- Frank!
Frank!
Is this a nice enough outfit for such
a momentous occasion? What do you think?
And the other side.
My wife.
Secretary Giacometti.
We're not going to hold you.
You obviously want to say goodbye.
Why are you being so secretive with
this, not allowing any photography?
- What are you wearing?
- This is...
Why aren't they writing
about it in the newspapers?
It would be risky
if something happened.
- Are you looking forward to it.
- Yes, I have someone I know in Prague.
I'm going to see my father.
Where is it? Wait...
Here, look. This is Dad.
Hold on!
Take this so I know you're
thinking about me, too.
Ok, bye.
Bye, bye.
Bye bye.
It worked.
I KILLED EINSTEIN, GENTLEMEN
Translation/Subtitles by N. Hahn
Presented by SuperHappyFun
Jesus Christ!
Who put that there?
You know about a change in the program!
Drag that rocket back.
Hurry up, you idiot!
Jesus Christ, who put that there?
Who's responsible?
Oh, I put it there? You're fired!
You'll be all fired!
You rascals!
For God's sake, something
different is playing!
You are utterly inept as a historian!
It's probably your fault that
we arrived in a different year!
- Shouldn't we go back?
- Out of the question. We're getting out.
Pandemonium! Lower the curtain!
Who are you? I'll fine you!
I'll fine you! Take it off!
No!
Hurry up, hurry up! I'll fine you!
Come on to the stage!
Enter the scene!
I'll give you ... A cat!
A cat, for Christ's sake!
Fine!
This way!
Excuse me, but we're not
here for hats, are we?
See, in the historical record
there wasn't even a mention of it.
So, I can't be held responsible.
- A change in the program?
- Hey, there!
How may I help you?
Excuse me, but what is today's date?
- The 26th.
- And what month is it?
- May, of course.
- May.
- And don't be angry that I'm asking, but...
- Excuse me.
- What year?
- Never mind about that. He'll get over it.
That means in 3 years and 2 months
World War I is going to break out.
Ciao.
- So this is Prague!
- Now that's fresh air, isn't it?
- No cars... Take a deep breath.
- What's so great about fresh air?
Look, a horse!
- Really, a horse?
- Hello, horse!
Hello, horse!
Gentlemen, this is idyllic.
A complete paradise.
There are only birds flying in the sky.
What else would fly up there?
Uh, nothing, nothing...
I just...
Congratulations. Your time
machine works fabulously.
I could do so many things here.
For instance, kill Adolf Hitler.
I bet he's just a room painter.
I'm sure.
I'm sure you'd appear like a saint.
Whoa!
One moment, please.
I'll be right back.
Please get out and come with me.
You are suspected of criminal intent...
...against a certain
Adolf Hitler, room painter.
- This is all we need.
- I beg your pardon, I'll explain.
Not a word. Get out!
No! Let's go.
Hold on and don't fall! Giddy up!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
I'd love to stay here forever.
Institute of Physics, time to get off.
Stop.
Stop.
What's going on?
- She can't control the horses?
- That's what it looks like.
- Then I'll have to kill the horses.
- No!
Stop!
You're going to have to jump.
I don't know how to make them stop.
I just remembered. You say, "Whoa."
That's no use to us now.
- What a beautiful car.
- What car, that fresh air.
This is it.
This is where your
victim works, gentlemen.
My Grandpa and Dad live
on the ground floor.
Ow!
- That could be him.
- Who?
Your father.
Excuse me, but that little...
Come here, little boy, come here!
Go to hell, old man.
Come here and I'll give you a lollipop.
A lollipop?
- What does your Dad do for a living?
- He's a janitor.
And what's your name?
- Franta.
- Pech!
It's him, it's him!
- Come here!
- That's his father!
Dad!
What, is this old man going crazy?
Why don't you Dad, I mean Franta,
go somewhere and play.
So, no one ever taught
you how to behave yourself.
Please!
Ow! You little...
You, you...
The violin was his hobby.
He's playing Mozart's sonata E mol.
He's been studying it since the 17th of June.
He was never able to
play it well. Watch out...
You see...
Is he deaf? There have
been some deaf musicians.
- He's definitely deaf.
- No, in the year 1911 he had tonsillitis.
- Maybe those are his calculations.
- He has a mistake there.
Shush!
Professor Einstein?
Professor Moore,
Professor Pech.
Doctor Gwen Williams,
physicists from Princeton.
Moore!
We're passing through Prague
and we wanted to meet you.
And get to know the Prague
intelligentsia, through you.
We heard that you're having a
dinner party at the Werthiems' salon.
- Where?
- At Wertheim's salon.
Isn't that true?
I don't know them.
I beg your pardon, what
is that supposed to mean?
In his diary
Mr. Wertheim clearly wrote...
- May I?
- By all means.
Is this today's?
Yes, but actually, I can't allow you
to read it, as I haven't read it yet.
But you have to come to that
dinner party! You must know him!
- You can't do this to us!
- Because it just wouldn't work!
I have to? You have strange
mores in Princeton, gentlemen.
Then we can pack up.
- You're truly incapable.
- In the diary, it said he was there.
- So, he has to go there.
- What if that wasn't Einstein?
What if it was that Russian
that other one, uh...
- Eisenstein.
- Yeah.
- He's never been to Prague.
- No? I wonder why.
What if that Wertheim was a
nut and he made everything up?
- Are you a doctor?
- Yes.
- Of history?
- Yes.
Awful!
[Men's Room]
Damn, glasses.
Where could it be...
Geisler!
Have you been waiting long, Geisler?
I was taking care of something very
important. Come on for testing.
- But...
- Let her be.
All she thinks about is nonsense.
Always: "That's beautiful!
That's wonderful!"
- Did I give you that pistol?
- You did.
- But I don't know how to shoot.
- Really? Neither can I.
That doesn't matter. Your dad
shoots like a professional.
You can't be serious. He's just a boy.
Exactly. Since he's still
young, he can't be punished.
Because of you I'm not going
to have a murderer for a father.
- Do you want to have a wife with a beard?
- God, no!
In that case you have to
have a murder for a father!
- No, you pig!
- Well...
What is it? Geisler, this is unfair.
You promised that you would come to
the colloquium only wearing underwear.
Ah!
I hope you don't want grades for free!
Pig!
Future minister of education!
- (Einstein) Sir!
- Pardon...
Am I interrupting anything?
My G string broke. You wouldn't
have another, would you?
Could I speak with you for a moment?
Yes.
I should warn Miss
Geisler to come in armor.
Guess where I have my
index today, professor.
But...
Geisler!
The nerve!
Look. We explained everything
to you. So, what's the problem?
Fine, but what are you going to give me?
One moment.
We'll... We'll give you a lollipop.
That's it? You think it's some
kind of game to shoot a person?
- Fine. You get a... ca... an accordion.
- Really?
Of course, an accordion.
- Come on, you're ruining my father!
- In the interest of humanity!
You have strange
imagination for an historian.
I don't believe that the Czech population
could ever achieve independence.
For that matter, what is it our concern?
Where did you get the violin?
This is no special instrument.
But today I wouldn't even
trade it for a Stradivarius.
Of course, a sincere relationship
is always a matter of time.
If it is about wood, that's possible.
- And I'll get crayons!
- Of course, but shoot!
If you don't shoot right now,
you're going to get such a smack...
- Beating!
- Beating!
I don't understand how such a stupid
father could have you, with all due respect.
Excuse me! He's still just a child.
Sir...
Minister Wagner called.
He asks for you to come with me to a
dinner party tonight at the Wertheims'.
And that you take that prodigy,
that small calculator named Pech.
That rector just came.
Do you want me to shoot him, too?
God, no. Hurry up.
The cat bite me. Shoot!
Shoot!
Gentlemen, don't shake
or I won't hit anything.
I don't understand
how you could do that.
It's better to interfere with
history than destroy humanity.
You'd rather make a murderer
out of his father, than trust me.
Yes, but at the time it seemed
like he wasn't going to go.
You shouldn't assume things.
What are you so worried about?
Have your fortune told by our little
Franco. Pull it out, Franco. Here it is.
It says I'm going to find a great
love! I don't know about that.
We're going to have a daughter
and live happily ever after.
Well, it's to bad it doesn't say
what's going to happen there tonight.
I don't know of anything stupider in
the world than these dinner parties.
Without you here
I'd have left a long time ago.
- Tonight, it definitely ends early, right?
- May I?
- Mainly for him...
- Do you notice how chivalrous he is?
I bet you'd only know that
word from the dictionary.
Galantry isn't the point of our visit.
I'm more interested in how that
chandelier is going to fall on his head.
As far as I know,
they don't fall sideways.
Maybe if he'll sit on the table.
Hans!
What is this?
I'm sorry. No, sit back
down. I'm sorry that I am...
I can't give you more of
my time right now because...
...today two new butlers
from Hotel "Sroubek". Can you imagine!
I'm sure you don't have anything like
this in America. Emilka! The chair...
My grandfather was an inventor whose
specialty was secret doors.
Why don't you put that to the garret?
No, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, please. Emilka!
So it is done.
Do we still have some time?
Well, I'll just go over
and talk to my dad.
Listen, Mr. Einstein said that
you've got a good knack for math.
He is talking too much.
Excuse me.
- What now?
- I'll put the chair there.
Call down, you two!
History will prevail.
What a nice boy. Come here.
Franz!
- Is it good?
- Wonde... Wonderful.
Wonderful, wonderful.
What are you doing here?
You don't belong here. I apologize.
No, it's fine.
You must behave yourself.
Wait right here.
Honored guests...
Mr. Wagner was so good and brought us
Professor Einstein tonight.
He is going to tell us
about his theories...
...but he says it is much better that []
we see this phenomenal genius at pillows.
You will ask him questions, and this little
boy will answer from his own head, yes?
Prodigies are usually interesting.
They die early.
- Mathematical genius!
- 7 times 8.
56.
When is something fun going to start?
I asked him, professor.
Franz!
Franz!
Franz did that.
This way, professor.
Ok, please give him some problems.
What is 9764 divided by 14?
It's almost time.
In a couple of minutes, you should
watch out for Mr. Werthiem to arrive.
I'd rather go right now.
I'm getting bored with your father.
697.428.
For God's sake, your beard is growing.
What should I do?
Where did you put your shaver?
With my things in
front of the closet.
Is something wrong, miss?
Continue. I'll be back in a second.
For God's sake, do something.
Miss, are you sick?
Pockets are empty.
Pockets are empty.
Do you need some money?
On the chair! Go sit on the chair!
I found a razor. I found a razor.
- God, she's found a razor.
- You must sit down on the chair.
- In a moment, it may be too late.
- That's why you have to go sit.
She found a razor!
- Frank, Frank, you have to come help me.
- Come help me.
Don't confuse me.
Frank, you have to help me.
Hey, come out of there.
In a minute.
Dad is sitting on the chair.
You have to come here, or else
I won't get him to sit on the chair.
- I can't. I have shaving cream on my face.
- In a second. Dad is on the chair.
God, everything is relying on this.
Frank! Where are you, Frank?
Come here. You have to
sit in your own chair.
This is the professor's chair. Come on.
Continue without the professor.
Why shouldn't he sit here,
if he likes the chair?
After the professor, returns,
give him the chair, ok?
- Frank, where are you?
- Get out of the chair!
Get out!
Just wait, I'll be rascal.
- I'm going to bring you bad grades.
- Sir, we'd ask him math problems.
You little rascal.
Ok. So how much is 736.822
divided by 165 power by 2?
- Let go of me! Let go of me!
- Let's just go sit on the chair.
- There's a suicde in the bathroom.
- Again trouble. Just stay calm.
Open the door. Open up, sir.
Open the door or I'll have annoyance.
It's a lady from America.
That doesn't matter.
Open up, sir! Easy, easy.
My wife invites weird people.
Go jump through the window,
since you're younger.
Lord Christ, I didn't say to break the window.
Don't you know glass costs money.
For God's sake, what strike you?
- Nothing happed to you?
- No.
Is she undercut?
Right now, just when
there's something to look at!
18:59.
It was that guy!
- Where is Frank?
- Frank!
Where's Frank?
Do you see?
When his father died as a child,
Frank could never have been born.
That's all that's left of him.
Do you understand?
- Miss...
- When the chandelier failed, pistol doesn't.
- No!
- Let me!
Get out, get out.
Get out.
Help!
Where he is?
I'd like to know that, too.
You just cost us millions.
Frank is gone, the boy is dead,
Einstein is alive. Why did you do that?
Why should you kill him, when he's such
a splendid person, right, Cleopatra?
Please! Between us it's over.
Great! I don't want anything to
do with your experiment ever again.
Horses without a driver.
Let's go.
Hello, horses. Slow down.
Take us to the National Theater, please.
That's what I'd call self-service.
Bye.
Come on!
"Conquest of the moon."
You said that the chandelier would fall at
7 o'clock and the beards would disappear.
It's 7:30 and the ladies...?
Maybe the experiment wasn't successful.
- How could you have the experiment without me?
- Relax.
I'm sure you understand that we had to keep it
secret because of the group of G bomb fanatics.
And only God knows where you were the whole time.
I don't who should get angry first.
The machine is returning.
The beards.
How are you going to explain
your failure, professor?
It was supposed to happen at 3 o'clock,
but the father didn't want to shoot...
...and Cleopatra was biting me.
So Mrs. Frank's husband...
Hold on, professor, hold on.
What are you talking about?
Betsy isn't even married.
Someone shot.
The father-in-law shot.
Try to understand.
A little boy. For candy.
So, actually, now she's... a widow.
Uh, Mrs. Betsy.
- Did the chandelier fall at all?
- It did and it killed your boss' father.
What boss? My boss is here.
Nonsense. Your boss was in this... suit.
I mean Frank Pech.
Winner of the Nobel Prize.
Who, unfortunately, was never born.
- My most sincere condolences.
- Yes, I understand.
Great, I was beginning to get nervous.
No. Gather yourself and
take a nice rest, professor.
Here you are. Money wasted again.
And what's more, a professor
who's gone mad. This is your fault.
- You should take a rest, too, Doctor.
- Let go of me. I'm absolutely normal.
Just remember that I don't want
anything to do with physics again!
Doctor...
Let her be. Treat her
tomorrow after she calms down.
Hold on.
Cleopatra!
It looks like the machine doesn't work.
Just the opposite. It works like a machine
that's hazardous to people's health.
Look.
Cleo. Cleo. That cat got lost.
A total fiasco.
You're saying that I had
servants, a child and a cars?
How is that at all possible?
If only I knew how to explain it to you.
Look. Give me your lipstick.
Don't move.
Here's the year 1911.
And this is today.
Try and understand. Here is
when his father was alive.
Here is when Frank was born.
And here is when you were married.
Of course, when is father died here...
...Frank was never born...
You never could have
gotten married, because
the progression of history
went over... no, no, no.
I made a mistake. The
progression went right here.
To today.
What are you doing?
It looks like you have
very dehydrated skin.
But couldn't you possibly make
it so that Frank was here again?
As soon as they believe... As soon
as the believe my machine works...
...I'll take you instead of Gwen.
You're good with men and you'll
definitely get him under the chandelier.
Yes. We'll get there. You'll get
Frank and I'll prove that I was right.
And I'll have servants and
cars, diamonds and yacht.
Professor, honey, how old was
that Frank? I don't want to be nag.
- Where did... Where did you put his suit?
- Over there.
Proof. Proof. I'll show you.
Here you are. A photo of him.
- That's him and this is you.
- I got a ugly shoot.
And this right here is exact proof.
His father was killed here.
So Frank was never born.
The progression of history went in a
different direction. This way. He doesn't exist.
He doesn't exist, but if you'll
allow me... Just one second.
...but he did. Will you allow me?
Frank Pech. Born May 3, 1959.
State California.
Parents Fratisek Pech,
Anne Marie Chilberth. 28 teeth.
Good?
4 fillings. Appendix removed.
The experiment is allowed.
Peek-a-boo!
May I?
Professor Grant wished for
us to behave softly.
Would you like a candy?
We'd like to know where Einstein
was when the chandelier fell.
We weren't anywhere.
No? So, you and Professor Moore just took
a walk through the zoological garden...
...and watched Franta the parrot?
If you think so, never mind.
Five floors up, five floors down.
All laboratories and no cold.
I'm interested in that at all.
But we have something here that
definitely will interest you, doctor.
Just follow me.
Your favorite music...
- Please have a seat.
- Thank you.
Don't be afraid.
Our chandelier doesn't kill.
"For God's sake, your beard is growing!"
The fact that you ran, made it
impossible for him to be killed.
You didn't care?
Or did you wish for that to happen?
So that he wouldn't die.
"You wasted millions. Frank
is gone. The boy is dead."
Try and remember.
"Why should we kill him, when he's such
a wonderful person, right Cleopatra?"
Thank you. We were just wondering.
Can you tell me how you got all of this?
We sent a spy with you.
- Frank?
- Uh, I don't know him.
- David?
- Uh uh.
There were three of us.
The doctor doesn't count you,
Cleopatra. You should be offended.
We noticed that Cleopatra that was
always watching professor Moore...
...so we just "adjusted" her.
"It says I'm going to find a great love.
I don't even know about it."
"We'll have a daughter and
we'll live happily ever after."
"Too bad it doesn't say what'll..."
We adjusted her eye, too.
Will you forgive me?
That cat always screams
when I take off her eye.
What do you need me for?
You know everything.
But you don't know that
Professor Moore is going
to be allowed to go again tomorrow.
Tomorrow he'll be in Prague
and try the murder again.
Why are you telling me this?
What can I possibly do to
protect him, even I wanted to?
By yourself? No.
But with us, maybe you could.
How do you want to get there?
That isn't that hard.
I almost forgot. The boss
wants to speak with you.
We're here, boss.
Get changed once we're there.
Please get on, miss.
We're starting.
Follow us.
Get out!
Don't be afraid of anything.
It's happening perfectly. In a
second there will be a window there.
- How can you know everything like that?
- Nothing can surprise me now at all.
That's Vasek.
Gwen?
Who just came, Emilka?
Some idiot, Madame. He doesn't
even know how to greet a person.
Pardon. This... This must
be some sort of mistake.
I'm the waiter from Hotel Sroubek, who
you reserved for tonight's dinner party.
Ah, come in.
Your colleague from Black Horse
is already here.
Go and change. Emilka will take you.
Yes, Madame.
Would you like to explain
to me how you got here?
This way...
- Ro...
- ...bert.
I'm going to call both of you
"Franz". I'm used to that.
Yes, Madame.
Yes, Madame.
Emilka, we're going to go...
uh... shopping.
Yes Madame.
Be careful, gentlemen, that
you don't damage history.
- We're bringing your order, ma'am.
- At last!
Those men over there will help you...
...Emilka and I are going...
allow me, here, that's it.
- Take it away right now to the closet...
- Yes, sir.
Don't take it to the closet,
hang it in the salon.
Take it away.
- Hang it.
- Take it away.
- Hang it!
- Take it away!
Hang it!
Take it away!
For God's sake, what are you doing?
I have a wife and 13 kids.
Hang it.
Are you going to take
it to the closet or not?
- I'll hang it myself.
- Watch out. It's going to get broken.
Watch out.
Get rid of him. What are you
looking at? Hurry up. Here.
- This much money, boss.
- Come on, let's go.
Quickly, quickly.
- To the closet.
- Yes, sir.
Don't get excited, but
there are already two there.
Hurry up. Take care of that chandelier.
What's the number of your company?
- I mean the telephone number.
- Two.
I understand.
- Hello? Give me number 3, please.
- Yes, sir. What do you need?
This is Wertheim. The lamp you just
sent is broken. Please send me a
lamp quickly, please.
- That scoundrel. I'll show him.
- Just hurry up.
Relax, relax. Here you go.
Go buy yourself a different boss.
Thank you Mr. Banker. Thank you.
- Hello.
- That's what I call speed. Come in.
Splendid, young men.
You can go straight to the salon.
- I'll be there right after you.
- No problem. Hi, boys!
Hurry, hurry. Careful.
- HURRY, HURRY.
- I'll help you with that chandelier.
Thank you, but there's
no need we're used to it.
Good-bye.
Isn't that some beautiful weather?
How is it that you're
still here? To work?
Madame, it takes a lot of work
to hang this kind of chandelier.
But it's a completely different person!
That one there wasn't so fat.
That one was ripped to shreds,
so they sent a stronger one.
Take a look for yourself, Madame.
A beautiful wood carving.
It's actual gold covered brass mahogany.
And cut with a delicate hand, Madame.
I'll give you ... mahogany!
And where is the other Franz?
He just got up and left.
And imagine what he said, Madame.
He said that he's never worked
at a family as stupid as yours.
- He said that it stinks here.
- What stinks?
- Stinks.
- Stinks?
- Stinks.
- Madame, I know that person...
That rascal. That could be me.
My stinks. I might complain.
Wonderful, ma'am, but that lamp,
that's not proper work.
Go look for yourself.
He can't even hold himself up.
Just look at what wonderful work
it is ma'am. Just go look for yourself.
- Here you go and leave now.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me, ma'am. Thank you.
- Just go, just go.
Good-bye.
Fifi. You made a mess here.
- I'll take her out, if you don't mind.
- Yes.
"I'm blind from birth"
- What's going on?
- Professor Grant is here.
- Gwen is over there.
You have to deal with her.
- I'm going.
Bring some money for the chandelier.
They used their own. Glue and fasteners.
Hold this for me.
Where you're eating it
will be full of bacteria.
- What's that?
- A gun.
What are you hurrying for? I'm going
to go take care of the chandelier.
Are you looking for a maid, Madame?
It's too late, miss. I already
got a new maid yesterday.
If it would be alright, ma'am,
I would like to work for free.
I never knew our home was
so... come in, come in.
Do you know what?
I'll hire you both. You'll massage
that... lotion... potion... Lotion Potion.
Put your things here
and then come up stairs.
I bought another lamp.
Open the foyer and the salon.
I understand. Don't talk so loud.
The old lady is blabbing on the stairs.
Oh, tasty zmunda, huh?
The hall is free.
- Hello, ma'am.
- Come in.
- If you don't mind, ma'am...
- Yes.
- I know your maid...
- And?
- Right here?
- Thank you.
She's a vulgar crook.
She likes diamonds.
That's not possible. It's not
possible. Where is it? Here...
Here... My beautiful jeweled, diamond!
It's gone! What are we going to do?
- Call the police.
- Police!
Police. The commissioner... one second.
The police, right.
Yes Mr. Commissioner. Yes.
We both saw who stole the diamond.
Please come immediately, Mr. Commissioner.
Three strong men. Thank you.
She's completely beside herself.
Mr. Commissioner,
the Wertheim apartment, please.
We both who stole the diamond.
Please come immediately.
Ok, it's in there.
- Thank you ma'am.
- Yes.
I gave it... I gave the thief
puka, puka. Puk... lock. Over there.
- They're here.
- The police.
- Just rest for right now.
- Thank you. What would I do without you?
- Relax. She just went to the bedroom.
- Help me. I'm stuck.
- That's a sign.
That's really a sign...
Quickly, quickly.
She'll be here soon.
Hang it here. This chandelier
wouldn't even kill a bug.
- Hold on. Hold on!
- Hurry.
Undress, please.
We have to find that ring.
- Are you going to do it?
- Are you going to do it?!?
- Immediately, right now?
- Yes. Immediately.
You're going to do it!
Stop! What are you wearing?
I'm sorry. We're... we're
very poor servants...
...We, you see, what's more,
we don't have money for more...
Someone's in the salon!
- The ring!
- Oh, God!
- You're under arrest
- Oh, dear God.
Please, sirs, this must be a
mistake. You can't arrest me.
Yes. My beautiful,
crystal diamond! You, thief!
- Please, ma'am!
- You should be ashamed!
Ma'am, he's going to pay.
Thank you, officer.
You no good, dirty pig! You rascal!
What is this? You... you... you...
Oh, hello. Come in, please!
- Professor, be careful. They want to kill you.
- Shut up!
A kind of little... uh... small, uh...
They undressed in front of the police.
Get dressed, all of you!
I'd like to introduce to you Professor
Einstein, who Rada Wagner told you about.
And this is his protege,
the young prodigy at arithmetic...
...and son of Pech, our janitor.
Father-in-law. Yours.
If you don't get under the
chandelier, you'll get candy.
Why?
May I help you, ma'am?
Search him, thoroughly!
Hey, I found a weapon.
What kind is it?
How does it fire?
Like this.
Get undressed.
When is something fun going to start?
Okay, please ask him something.
How much is 9764 divided by 14?
Two of Grant's men are here.
Betsy.
Someone removed the glue from the chair.
I'll get him to come to the
foyer and you spray it again.
Six hundred ninety-seven
point four two eight.
Professor, someone is
waiting for you in the foyer.
Continue. I'll be back in a second.
But he wants to rest.
Bring him something, Emilka.
Just one second. Let me see
if he hasn't by chance gone...
- Sir, are you there, sir?
- It's occupied.
Excuse me.
Where could he have gone?
He's really not here.
Of course! He's inside, already.
Wasting my time only.
And a new problem. 212.857...
When you get a chance, I'd like
to have a word with you in private.
Excuse me.
851.428.
121.13 multiply by 845...
Commissioner. Commissioner!
Help!
Hurry! Do you hear me? Hurry! The chandelier
is falling in 5 minutes. Do you hear me?
Yes, I hear you.
Good. What did I want?
Look after your father-in-law.
Give him a toy or something.
Or lock him in the bathroom.
And tell one man to come. He must...
Relax. Relax. Relax.
You're with the society women, right?
Yes.
Why don't you cure this?
Wait! You're not allowed to go there.
The nerve of you. I think
I'm allowed into my own salon.
I understand, but the
chandelier is going to fall.
God damn it. Well I want to see that.
I'm going to call the constable.
Gott seid dank!
That's a pleasant surprise.
Imagine this: he won't even
let me into my own house!
You're under arrest.
Good!
You're under arrest.
Hold on, who's under arrest?
Put your hands up!
These is my wife's dinner party.
The dinner party is a success.
The thief got away, sir, but we are watching.
When is something fun going to start?
- Go to hell.
- Okay.
- Come with me. I need to talk.
- I can't.
It is very important.
For certain reasons, I can't.
Jesus Christ, this is horrible!
Quick! This way.
How did that chandelier stop in the air?
- What about gravity?
- Don't worry about gravity and hurry up!
Betsy, Betsy! Get your father-in-law out
and wait meet at the National Theater.
I understand.
This was supposed to be
the premier salon in Prague.
I don't go there again.
I'm afraid this isn't
the end of everything.
You'll have to listen
to me about everything.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Young lady, please,
when is something fun going to start?
A maid doesn't have a lot of time.
Perhaps Mrs. Werteim could
give you some time off.
Murderer! You disgusting murderer.
You're under arrest!
Turn on the lights.
He shot a person...
as if he were some partridge.
I killed Einstein, gentlemen.
But ask me why?
So that mothers could bear their
innocent children without beards.
So that happiness would spread
out over this world like a rainbow.
That's why I sacrificed a
person who has already died...
...when I was 13, or was it 14? No 13.
Take him away!
I destroyed the G-Bomb.
I saved your grandchildren.
Be happy.
He's a cold-blooded scoundrel.
We're going to write a report.
Yes.
Such a beautiful night.
Please, can I take off my coat?
What's that?
In the name of the law...
Professor Einstein.
But I'd like to explain that...
Look. What I'm interested in is...
Stop that!
Yes, yes, I would
like to explain that...
- I already told you that...
- Let her talk, already, inspector.
This is none of your business.
What I'm...
What should we do with him?
Hello, Mr. Commissioner.
Wake up.
Can you hear me?
Hello. Hurry, hurry.
Hold this for me, please.
Take care of your boss.
I bought this on Forty-Second Street.
It cost me a dollar.
You did that wonderfully.
Thank you.
Beautiful.
You should be a violinist.
We're all good at something.
Your fate is dishes. My fate is physics.
Should you be a mediocre
physicist, or a genius violinist.
Average physicist.
I'm sorry if you don't
understand these things.
And can you tell me what you've
accomplished that's beyond average?
Couldn't we just talk
about dill sauce instead?
As long as you understand that.
You're simply the author of the
theory of relativity. So what?
Did you know that the person
who thought up dill sauce
served humanity even more?
I'm not saying that the theory
of relativity is nonsense. No, no.
We were thinking about that...
...with Ruzena, who works
at the Krauses. Ouch, ouch.
At first we calculated that
m equals ro 2 pi over 2, r over 3...
But it seemed that the
universe is crooked.
Do you understand?
That's simply impossible.
- Who calculated that? You and...
- The cook at the Krauses.
Alzbeta was there too, but she
thought about it differently.
She found out that "E"
equals "M"... uh... times
..."C" power 2.
Do you know what that
means, by any chance?
No.
No?
Go see Ruzena. She's a terribly
nice girl. She'll help you.
A cook calculated this and
I'm working like a horse.
What am I then?
An unqualified physicist...
...but a wonderful violinist.
It's beautiful.
Wonderful.
Albert, when you play,
I feel like I could love you.
Daddy... Promise me you'll have kids.
Ok.
We'll see.
There'll be no "we'll see."
Look. Uncle is already here.
Come on.
Hurry up.
How does it look on the stage?
The last show is about to start.
The best time...
Nice that everything
had to happen like this...
I keep telling them these
are for middle distances.
Let's go.
Don't forget. Four children and the
third one is Frank. Don't forget Father.
Four kids. That's going to be tough.
What can I do for you, Secretary.
Yesterday you proposed that the UN
stop financing military actions...
...against the group of chemists.
That's right.
Against the group of Chemists?
Their experiments with fertility gas
made it so that men stopped being men!
That's true... but...
Allow me to register the sharpest protest
in the name of the whole delegation.
That's right!
How can we fight the chemists, when
we don't even know where they are?
We're trying to develop an antidote...
...We've spent billions, but you
have to have patience until...
By then, humanity
will have gone extinct.
Professor! David!
This isn't the institute of physics.
This is how it should be.
Since we destroyed the basis of modern
physics, everything is different.
The women don't have beards.
The women... don't have beards.
Yeah, but what about the men?
Those are men?
- Yeah.
- No.
That's...
...Frank!
Frank!
Frank!
And you are, Madame?
I'm your wife, Betsy.
You used to call me...
Sweetie. You remember.
- We were married for 7 years.
- I'm sorry.
A marriage is a cold.
I would have remembered.
But, you can't. You lived
in a different time. Look.
Oops. I already bathed.
In the year 1911, I gave your
father candy so you would be born.
Otherwise, a chandelier
would have fallen on his head.
He doesn't understand.
Do you see what you
have on your conscience?
The women are already
beginning to go crazy.
What does all of this mean?
Can you tell me who you are, sir?
- You wouldn't believe me.
- Do you hear that voice?
Professor. Professor Moore.
I went back in time where I
successful in a great thing:
I killed Einstein, gentlemen.
Uh, actually, uh, ...gentlemen.
I erased the bombs from history.
Bombs? I've never heard of bombs.
How could you? The basis was physics...
...which threatened the whole world.
You're mistaken, sir.
The world is threatened by chemistry.
Dangerous gasses are
destroying humanity.
Maybe not...
...if men still exist...
Actual men?
Help! Help!
Frank!
Look. Here is a picture of us.
This is me...
...and this is you!
He probably doesn't even realize
that he's the savior of humanity.
He's such a great person.
And did you see how funny it was
when he tried to protect himself?
- What are you going to call him?
- Maybe "Peter."
Also. If it will be a girl,
I'll call her "Pavla."
I better call home so
that they'll be happy, too.
How may I help you?
Paper... and a pen. Quickly.
You would... really... like to marry me?
Why else do you think I'd be doing this?
Frank...
We're going to have a
daughter again, okay?
Like before...
- That... might be hard.
- Mr. Secretary?
Excuse me. Mr. Secretary,
a solution has been found.
That professor Moore is
here and he insists...
...he can destroy the group
of chemists and their hideout.
Really?
With what?
Yes. Our thanks belong
to Professor Moore.
It is he who destroyed the fertility
gas machine with his invention.
And within a short time,
brought life back to normal.
Thereby making us men happy...
...and women.
He has brought happiness
to all of humanity.
Which he practically saved
in the face of destruction.
Moore made a bomb...
...with which has begun...
...the happy future...
...of humanity.
In honor of our genius saviour...
...we'll hear a Sonata
by Mozart E Mol...
...which will be played by
master violinist Albert Einstein.
It's nothing serious.
Gwen?
But my name isn't Gwen.
Would you please allow
me to introduce you both?
Professor Moore. Mr. Einstein.
Frank. Surely you have
something to talk about here.
With the old lady.
Gwen?
How... how... How have
you been all this time?
Definitely better than you.
The beginning of the
century was magical.
- Jane?
- Yes, Mom?
This is Jane.
We already know each other.
How is it that you all know each other?
You wouldn't understand it, Albert.
It's because of that field of yours...
...that... uhm... physics.
I was interested in
physics a long time ago.
But fortunately I stopped that.
And that was a good thing.
That field just existed on
the periphery of science.
You've just now made something
of it. Congratulations.
You should step just over
to the side, Professor.
Why, Mommy?
That's nothing.
Dices of glass symbolize happiness.
The End
that we can't have children?
Not at all, dear.
Stop!
Miss Swansonova, you have
to be like women in love!
Just imagine that you're
in love with Mr. Clark.
Put your hand like this. Yes.
And let's try that again.
Excuse me. I'm sorry,
but the script is changed?
This isn't about any poetry for us.
But look, we got the text from you,
from the UN. I doubt that...
Look, she's supposed to say:
"It doesn't bother me dear,
I'll shave first thing tomorrow."
I'm warning you, that I will
not say that under any condition.
And as a member of the
Federation of Women...
I'm going to maintain
solidarity with the others.
We're not shaving out of protest.
Miss, please understand our position.
Help us calm the community.
The strikes are growing,
a lot people are divorcing...
But that's not our fault.
Who's to blame for the fact that we
don't know why we're growing beards?
That's the fault of a group of
nuclear fanatics with the G bomb.
And when are you finally
going to get rid of them?
As soon as we find out where they
hid themselves with the experiment.
We've built a very big
research institute to counter...
...the effects of the
fall out from the G bomb.
- Yeah, and?
- And...
Excuse me, but we're
having a demonstration.
We'd probably also be that nervous,
if our cells went crazy like that.
...And today there was
another big protest.
In spite of that, the
group of nuclear fanatics
continues with its secret experiments.
One of them was detected today
at 3:07 Greenwich mean time.
We ask, what will they do against...
Let's continue.
The fall out of the G Bomb, as
we call the Grantov bomb now,
doesn't effect smoothly, but rather
the opposite. Do you understand?
Here, I'll show you
demonstration on showpiece.
Shaving with my machine is built
on completely new principles.
It is a deep shave.
As far as we know, the women
started growing facial hair...
...uh, all at once and terribly quickly.
My little machine...
- How much?
- Look at the computer.
Hm, 21,740...
The appearance of new hair lasts maybe
Maybe 2 days, maybe
3 days, maybe a year.
The operation is absolutely simple.
Press... here.
You should know that...
It works.
- You said deep.
- Deep.
- I'll order a toupee immediately.
- No, Sneider, no toupee.
I'll keep it like this.
So that women can see
that I'm also sacrificing.
It works...
A six million dollar investment...
...and this is the result.
And what good is it if
women refuse to shave?
- What, you don't read the newspaper?
- No.
- Out!
- Out!
But it works.
Out!
Out!
Sneider!
Why doesn't our research,
for all this money...
...try and eradicate
the root of the problem?
The root of the problem is in the
beginning of modern physics, Mr. Secretary.
Professor Moore has already come to
that conclusion about 6 months ago.
They wanted to go to the year
1911 in his time machine...
...and kill professor Einstein...
...on whose calculations
the Grant group was built.
In that case, the progression of modern
physics would go in a different direction.
If the basis hadn't existed,
there wouldn't even be G radiation.
We simply wouldn't have
what we have today.
If this experiment is successful,
Mr. Moore would
eliminate the fanatics...
...and they will be out of
sight where ever they may be.
Okay.
Tell them we want to finance
Professor Moore's project.
This way, please.
Here you are.
The final step of modern physics.
The only of its kind.
The life work of Professor Moore.
15:30, at the Technology Institute
meeting with Einstein...
...this is insane assembly,
what she think up...
...meeting with Einstein,
I'm going out to a dinner
party at 17:00... that's...
And at 17:30 Wertheim the banker will
go into his apartment and delay him.
- What will you have, Mr. Professor?
- Oh? Chicken.
A whole one, or just half?
- Half is enough.
- Here you are.
- Is it boiled or fried?
- Fried.
There's nothing better
than eating in peace.
Cleopatra! Come here, kitty.
You know you'll get
some too. Don't worry.
- Professor Moore, get ready!
- Right away!
I'll be right back. Just wait here.
I just have to kill Mr. Einstein.
Those are the people who will
become the guardians of humanity.
Dr. Gwen Williams, expert on the
historical period between 1910 and 1915.
Pleased to meet you.
Professor Frank Pech.
Pleased to meet you.
Professor Moore, the
inventor of the machine.
A wonderful project.
- Binoculars.
- I forgot.
Somehow you look
skeptical, your Excellence.
- But we know why we're doing this.
- Yes.
With the help of the time machine and in
this historical rocket, we'll go back...
...to the past, onto the stage
of the Prague National Theater.
Take a look.
On the afternoon of May 26, 1911,
Mares' "Conquest of the Moon" will be playing.
Arriving in Prague and leaving
will be absolutely inconspicuous.
And why exactly in Prague?
According to the diary of the banker
Wertheim from Prague I found out that
Professor Einstein almost
lost his life in his apartment.
And we'll just slightly modify
history in the year 1911.
We're just holding back
a few seconds of fate.
Mr. Wertheim won't walk into the door...
...Professor Einstein won't
stand up from the chair...
And the chandelier will kill him.
And that will be the least
forced interference with history.
But excuse me!
- This project depends on murder.
- Yes.
But a murder of someone who has
been dead a long time, General.
- Get ready, please, get ready.
- Frank!
Frank!
Is this a nice enough outfit for such
a momentous occasion? What do you think?
And the other side.
My wife.
Secretary Giacometti.
We're not going to hold you.
You obviously want to say goodbye.
Why are you being so secretive with
this, not allowing any photography?
- What are you wearing?
- This is...
Why aren't they writing
about it in the newspapers?
It would be risky
if something happened.
- Are you looking forward to it.
- Yes, I have someone I know in Prague.
I'm going to see my father.
Where is it? Wait...
Here, look. This is Dad.
Hold on!
Take this so I know you're
thinking about me, too.
Ok, bye.
Bye, bye.
Bye bye.
It worked.
I KILLED EINSTEIN, GENTLEMEN
Translation/Subtitles by N. Hahn
Presented by SuperHappyFun
Jesus Christ!
Who put that there?
You know about a change in the program!
Drag that rocket back.
Hurry up, you idiot!
Jesus Christ, who put that there?
Who's responsible?
Oh, I put it there? You're fired!
You'll be all fired!
You rascals!
For God's sake, something
different is playing!
You are utterly inept as a historian!
It's probably your fault that
we arrived in a different year!
- Shouldn't we go back?
- Out of the question. We're getting out.
Pandemonium! Lower the curtain!
Who are you? I'll fine you!
I'll fine you! Take it off!
No!
Hurry up, hurry up! I'll fine you!
Come on to the stage!
Enter the scene!
I'll give you ... A cat!
A cat, for Christ's sake!
Fine!
This way!
Excuse me, but we're not
here for hats, are we?
See, in the historical record
there wasn't even a mention of it.
So, I can't be held responsible.
- A change in the program?
- Hey, there!
How may I help you?
Excuse me, but what is today's date?
- The 26th.
- And what month is it?
- May, of course.
- May.
- And don't be angry that I'm asking, but...
- Excuse me.
- What year?
- Never mind about that. He'll get over it.
That means in 3 years and 2 months
World War I is going to break out.
Ciao.
- So this is Prague!
- Now that's fresh air, isn't it?
- No cars... Take a deep breath.
- What's so great about fresh air?
Look, a horse!
- Really, a horse?
- Hello, horse!
Hello, horse!
Gentlemen, this is idyllic.
A complete paradise.
There are only birds flying in the sky.
What else would fly up there?
Uh, nothing, nothing...
I just...
Congratulations. Your time
machine works fabulously.
I could do so many things here.
For instance, kill Adolf Hitler.
I bet he's just a room painter.
I'm sure.
I'm sure you'd appear like a saint.
Whoa!
One moment, please.
I'll be right back.
Please get out and come with me.
You are suspected of criminal intent...
...against a certain
Adolf Hitler, room painter.
- This is all we need.
- I beg your pardon, I'll explain.
Not a word. Get out!
No! Let's go.
Hold on and don't fall! Giddy up!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
I'd love to stay here forever.
Institute of Physics, time to get off.
Stop.
Stop.
What's going on?
- She can't control the horses?
- That's what it looks like.
- Then I'll have to kill the horses.
- No!
Stop!
You're going to have to jump.
I don't know how to make them stop.
I just remembered. You say, "Whoa."
That's no use to us now.
- What a beautiful car.
- What car, that fresh air.
This is it.
This is where your
victim works, gentlemen.
My Grandpa and Dad live
on the ground floor.
Ow!
- That could be him.
- Who?
Your father.
Excuse me, but that little...
Come here, little boy, come here!
Go to hell, old man.
Come here and I'll give you a lollipop.
A lollipop?
- What does your Dad do for a living?
- He's a janitor.
And what's your name?
- Franta.
- Pech!
It's him, it's him!
- Come here!
- That's his father!
Dad!
What, is this old man going crazy?
Why don't you Dad, I mean Franta,
go somewhere and play.
So, no one ever taught
you how to behave yourself.
Please!
Ow! You little...
You, you...
The violin was his hobby.
He's playing Mozart's sonata E mol.
He's been studying it since the 17th of June.
He was never able to
play it well. Watch out...
You see...
Is he deaf? There have
been some deaf musicians.
- He's definitely deaf.
- No, in the year 1911 he had tonsillitis.
- Maybe those are his calculations.
- He has a mistake there.
Shush!
Professor Einstein?
Professor Moore,
Professor Pech.
Doctor Gwen Williams,
physicists from Princeton.
Moore!
We're passing through Prague
and we wanted to meet you.
And get to know the Prague
intelligentsia, through you.
We heard that you're having a
dinner party at the Werthiems' salon.
- Where?
- At Wertheim's salon.
Isn't that true?
I don't know them.
I beg your pardon, what
is that supposed to mean?
In his diary
Mr. Wertheim clearly wrote...
- May I?
- By all means.
Is this today's?
Yes, but actually, I can't allow you
to read it, as I haven't read it yet.
But you have to come to that
dinner party! You must know him!
- You can't do this to us!
- Because it just wouldn't work!
I have to? You have strange
mores in Princeton, gentlemen.
Then we can pack up.
- You're truly incapable.
- In the diary, it said he was there.
- So, he has to go there.
- What if that wasn't Einstein?
What if it was that Russian
that other one, uh...
- Eisenstein.
- Yeah.
- He's never been to Prague.
- No? I wonder why.
What if that Wertheim was a
nut and he made everything up?
- Are you a doctor?
- Yes.
- Of history?
- Yes.
Awful!
[Men's Room]
Damn, glasses.
Where could it be...
Geisler!
Have you been waiting long, Geisler?
I was taking care of something very
important. Come on for testing.
- But...
- Let her be.
All she thinks about is nonsense.
Always: "That's beautiful!
That's wonderful!"
- Did I give you that pistol?
- You did.
- But I don't know how to shoot.
- Really? Neither can I.
That doesn't matter. Your dad
shoots like a professional.
You can't be serious. He's just a boy.
Exactly. Since he's still
young, he can't be punished.
Because of you I'm not going
to have a murderer for a father.
- Do you want to have a wife with a beard?
- God, no!
In that case you have to
have a murder for a father!
- No, you pig!
- Well...
What is it? Geisler, this is unfair.
You promised that you would come to
the colloquium only wearing underwear.
Ah!
I hope you don't want grades for free!
Pig!
Future minister of education!
- (Einstein) Sir!
- Pardon...
Am I interrupting anything?
My G string broke. You wouldn't
have another, would you?
Could I speak with you for a moment?
Yes.
I should warn Miss
Geisler to come in armor.
Guess where I have my
index today, professor.
But...
Geisler!
The nerve!
Look. We explained everything
to you. So, what's the problem?
Fine, but what are you going to give me?
One moment.
We'll... We'll give you a lollipop.
That's it? You think it's some
kind of game to shoot a person?
- Fine. You get a... ca... an accordion.
- Really?
Of course, an accordion.
- Come on, you're ruining my father!
- In the interest of humanity!
You have strange
imagination for an historian.
I don't believe that the Czech population
could ever achieve independence.
For that matter, what is it our concern?
Where did you get the violin?
This is no special instrument.
But today I wouldn't even
trade it for a Stradivarius.
Of course, a sincere relationship
is always a matter of time.
If it is about wood, that's possible.
- And I'll get crayons!
- Of course, but shoot!
If you don't shoot right now,
you're going to get such a smack...
- Beating!
- Beating!
I don't understand how such a stupid
father could have you, with all due respect.
Excuse me! He's still just a child.
Sir...
Minister Wagner called.
He asks for you to come with me to a
dinner party tonight at the Wertheims'.
And that you take that prodigy,
that small calculator named Pech.
That rector just came.
Do you want me to shoot him, too?
God, no. Hurry up.
The cat bite me. Shoot!
Shoot!
Gentlemen, don't shake
or I won't hit anything.
I don't understand
how you could do that.
It's better to interfere with
history than destroy humanity.
You'd rather make a murderer
out of his father, than trust me.
Yes, but at the time it seemed
like he wasn't going to go.
You shouldn't assume things.
What are you so worried about?
Have your fortune told by our little
Franco. Pull it out, Franco. Here it is.
It says I'm going to find a great
love! I don't know about that.
We're going to have a daughter
and live happily ever after.
Well, it's to bad it doesn't say
what's going to happen there tonight.
I don't know of anything stupider in
the world than these dinner parties.
Without you here
I'd have left a long time ago.
- Tonight, it definitely ends early, right?
- May I?
- Mainly for him...
- Do you notice how chivalrous he is?
I bet you'd only know that
word from the dictionary.
Galantry isn't the point of our visit.
I'm more interested in how that
chandelier is going to fall on his head.
As far as I know,
they don't fall sideways.
Maybe if he'll sit on the table.
Hans!
What is this?
I'm sorry. No, sit back
down. I'm sorry that I am...
I can't give you more of
my time right now because...
...today two new butlers
from Hotel "Sroubek". Can you imagine!
I'm sure you don't have anything like
this in America. Emilka! The chair...
My grandfather was an inventor whose
specialty was secret doors.
Why don't you put that to the garret?
No, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, please. Emilka!
So it is done.
Do we still have some time?
Well, I'll just go over
and talk to my dad.
Listen, Mr. Einstein said that
you've got a good knack for math.
He is talking too much.
Excuse me.
- What now?
- I'll put the chair there.
Call down, you two!
History will prevail.
What a nice boy. Come here.
Franz!
- Is it good?
- Wonde... Wonderful.
Wonderful, wonderful.
What are you doing here?
You don't belong here. I apologize.
No, it's fine.
You must behave yourself.
Wait right here.
Honored guests...
Mr. Wagner was so good and brought us
Professor Einstein tonight.
He is going to tell us
about his theories...
...but he says it is much better that []
we see this phenomenal genius at pillows.
You will ask him questions, and this little
boy will answer from his own head, yes?
Prodigies are usually interesting.
They die early.
- Mathematical genius!
- 7 times 8.
56.
When is something fun going to start?
I asked him, professor.
Franz!
Franz!
Franz did that.
This way, professor.
Ok, please give him some problems.
What is 9764 divided by 14?
It's almost time.
In a couple of minutes, you should
watch out for Mr. Werthiem to arrive.
I'd rather go right now.
I'm getting bored with your father.
697.428.
For God's sake, your beard is growing.
What should I do?
Where did you put your shaver?
With my things in
front of the closet.
Is something wrong, miss?
Continue. I'll be back in a second.
For God's sake, do something.
Miss, are you sick?
Pockets are empty.
Pockets are empty.
Do you need some money?
On the chair! Go sit on the chair!
I found a razor. I found a razor.
- God, she's found a razor.
- You must sit down on the chair.
- In a moment, it may be too late.
- That's why you have to go sit.
She found a razor!
- Frank, Frank, you have to come help me.
- Come help me.
Don't confuse me.
Frank, you have to help me.
Hey, come out of there.
In a minute.
Dad is sitting on the chair.
You have to come here, or else
I won't get him to sit on the chair.
- I can't. I have shaving cream on my face.
- In a second. Dad is on the chair.
God, everything is relying on this.
Frank! Where are you, Frank?
Come here. You have to
sit in your own chair.
This is the professor's chair. Come on.
Continue without the professor.
Why shouldn't he sit here,
if he likes the chair?
After the professor, returns,
give him the chair, ok?
- Frank, where are you?
- Get out of the chair!
Get out!
Just wait, I'll be rascal.
- I'm going to bring you bad grades.
- Sir, we'd ask him math problems.
You little rascal.
Ok. So how much is 736.822
divided by 165 power by 2?
- Let go of me! Let go of me!
- Let's just go sit on the chair.
- There's a suicde in the bathroom.
- Again trouble. Just stay calm.
Open the door. Open up, sir.
Open the door or I'll have annoyance.
It's a lady from America.
That doesn't matter.
Open up, sir! Easy, easy.
My wife invites weird people.
Go jump through the window,
since you're younger.
Lord Christ, I didn't say to break the window.
Don't you know glass costs money.
For God's sake, what strike you?
- Nothing happed to you?
- No.
Is she undercut?
Right now, just when
there's something to look at!
18:59.
It was that guy!
- Where is Frank?
- Frank!
Where's Frank?
Do you see?
When his father died as a child,
Frank could never have been born.
That's all that's left of him.
Do you understand?
- Miss...
- When the chandelier failed, pistol doesn't.
- No!
- Let me!
Get out, get out.
Get out.
Help!
Where he is?
I'd like to know that, too.
You just cost us millions.
Frank is gone, the boy is dead,
Einstein is alive. Why did you do that?
Why should you kill him, when he's such
a splendid person, right, Cleopatra?
Please! Between us it's over.
Great! I don't want anything to
do with your experiment ever again.
Horses without a driver.
Let's go.
Hello, horses. Slow down.
Take us to the National Theater, please.
That's what I'd call self-service.
Bye.
Come on!
"Conquest of the moon."
You said that the chandelier would fall at
7 o'clock and the beards would disappear.
It's 7:30 and the ladies...?
Maybe the experiment wasn't successful.
- How could you have the experiment without me?
- Relax.
I'm sure you understand that we had to keep it
secret because of the group of G bomb fanatics.
And only God knows where you were the whole time.
I don't who should get angry first.
The machine is returning.
The beards.
How are you going to explain
your failure, professor?
It was supposed to happen at 3 o'clock,
but the father didn't want to shoot...
...and Cleopatra was biting me.
So Mrs. Frank's husband...
Hold on, professor, hold on.
What are you talking about?
Betsy isn't even married.
Someone shot.
The father-in-law shot.
Try to understand.
A little boy. For candy.
So, actually, now she's... a widow.
Uh, Mrs. Betsy.
- Did the chandelier fall at all?
- It did and it killed your boss' father.
What boss? My boss is here.
Nonsense. Your boss was in this... suit.
I mean Frank Pech.
Winner of the Nobel Prize.
Who, unfortunately, was never born.
- My most sincere condolences.
- Yes, I understand.
Great, I was beginning to get nervous.
No. Gather yourself and
take a nice rest, professor.
Here you are. Money wasted again.
And what's more, a professor
who's gone mad. This is your fault.
- You should take a rest, too, Doctor.
- Let go of me. I'm absolutely normal.
Just remember that I don't want
anything to do with physics again!
Doctor...
Let her be. Treat her
tomorrow after she calms down.
Hold on.
Cleopatra!
It looks like the machine doesn't work.
Just the opposite. It works like a machine
that's hazardous to people's health.
Look.
Cleo. Cleo. That cat got lost.
A total fiasco.
You're saying that I had
servants, a child and a cars?
How is that at all possible?
If only I knew how to explain it to you.
Look. Give me your lipstick.
Don't move.
Here's the year 1911.
And this is today.
Try and understand. Here is
when his father was alive.
Here is when Frank was born.
And here is when you were married.
Of course, when is father died here...
...Frank was never born...
You never could have
gotten married, because
the progression of history
went over... no, no, no.
I made a mistake. The
progression went right here.
To today.
What are you doing?
It looks like you have
very dehydrated skin.
But couldn't you possibly make
it so that Frank was here again?
As soon as they believe... As soon
as the believe my machine works...
...I'll take you instead of Gwen.
You're good with men and you'll
definitely get him under the chandelier.
Yes. We'll get there. You'll get
Frank and I'll prove that I was right.
And I'll have servants and
cars, diamonds and yacht.
Professor, honey, how old was
that Frank? I don't want to be nag.
- Where did... Where did you put his suit?
- Over there.
Proof. Proof. I'll show you.
Here you are. A photo of him.
- That's him and this is you.
- I got a ugly shoot.
And this right here is exact proof.
His father was killed here.
So Frank was never born.
The progression of history went in a
different direction. This way. He doesn't exist.
He doesn't exist, but if you'll
allow me... Just one second.
...but he did. Will you allow me?
Frank Pech. Born May 3, 1959.
State California.
Parents Fratisek Pech,
Anne Marie Chilberth. 28 teeth.
Good?
4 fillings. Appendix removed.
The experiment is allowed.
Peek-a-boo!
May I?
Professor Grant wished for
us to behave softly.
Would you like a candy?
We'd like to know where Einstein
was when the chandelier fell.
We weren't anywhere.
No? So, you and Professor Moore just took
a walk through the zoological garden...
...and watched Franta the parrot?
If you think so, never mind.
Five floors up, five floors down.
All laboratories and no cold.
I'm interested in that at all.
But we have something here that
definitely will interest you, doctor.
Just follow me.
Your favorite music...
- Please have a seat.
- Thank you.
Don't be afraid.
Our chandelier doesn't kill.
"For God's sake, your beard is growing!"
The fact that you ran, made it
impossible for him to be killed.
You didn't care?
Or did you wish for that to happen?
So that he wouldn't die.
"You wasted millions. Frank
is gone. The boy is dead."
Try and remember.
"Why should we kill him, when he's such
a wonderful person, right Cleopatra?"
Thank you. We were just wondering.
Can you tell me how you got all of this?
We sent a spy with you.
- Frank?
- Uh, I don't know him.
- David?
- Uh uh.
There were three of us.
The doctor doesn't count you,
Cleopatra. You should be offended.
We noticed that Cleopatra that was
always watching professor Moore...
...so we just "adjusted" her.
"It says I'm going to find a great love.
I don't even know about it."
"We'll have a daughter and
we'll live happily ever after."
"Too bad it doesn't say what'll..."
We adjusted her eye, too.
Will you forgive me?
That cat always screams
when I take off her eye.
What do you need me for?
You know everything.
But you don't know that
Professor Moore is going
to be allowed to go again tomorrow.
Tomorrow he'll be in Prague
and try the murder again.
Why are you telling me this?
What can I possibly do to
protect him, even I wanted to?
By yourself? No.
But with us, maybe you could.
How do you want to get there?
That isn't that hard.
I almost forgot. The boss
wants to speak with you.
We're here, boss.
Get changed once we're there.
Please get on, miss.
We're starting.
Follow us.
Get out!
Don't be afraid of anything.
It's happening perfectly. In a
second there will be a window there.
- How can you know everything like that?
- Nothing can surprise me now at all.
That's Vasek.
Gwen?
Who just came, Emilka?
Some idiot, Madame. He doesn't
even know how to greet a person.
Pardon. This... This must
be some sort of mistake.
I'm the waiter from Hotel Sroubek, who
you reserved for tonight's dinner party.
Ah, come in.
Your colleague from Black Horse
is already here.
Go and change. Emilka will take you.
Yes, Madame.
Would you like to explain
to me how you got here?
This way...
- Ro...
- ...bert.
I'm going to call both of you
"Franz". I'm used to that.
Yes, Madame.
Yes, Madame.
Emilka, we're going to go...
uh... shopping.
Yes Madame.
Be careful, gentlemen, that
you don't damage history.
- We're bringing your order, ma'am.
- At last!
Those men over there will help you...
...Emilka and I are going...
allow me, here, that's it.
- Take it away right now to the closet...
- Yes, sir.
Don't take it to the closet,
hang it in the salon.
Take it away.
- Hang it.
- Take it away.
- Hang it!
- Take it away!
Hang it!
Take it away!
For God's sake, what are you doing?
I have a wife and 13 kids.
Hang it.
Are you going to take
it to the closet or not?
- I'll hang it myself.
- Watch out. It's going to get broken.
Watch out.
Get rid of him. What are you
looking at? Hurry up. Here.
- This much money, boss.
- Come on, let's go.
Quickly, quickly.
- To the closet.
- Yes, sir.
Don't get excited, but
there are already two there.
Hurry up. Take care of that chandelier.
What's the number of your company?
- I mean the telephone number.
- Two.
I understand.
- Hello? Give me number 3, please.
- Yes, sir. What do you need?
This is Wertheim. The lamp you just
sent is broken. Please send me a
lamp quickly, please.
- That scoundrel. I'll show him.
- Just hurry up.
Relax, relax. Here you go.
Go buy yourself a different boss.
Thank you Mr. Banker. Thank you.
- Hello.
- That's what I call speed. Come in.
Splendid, young men.
You can go straight to the salon.
- I'll be there right after you.
- No problem. Hi, boys!
Hurry, hurry. Careful.
- HURRY, HURRY.
- I'll help you with that chandelier.
Thank you, but there's
no need we're used to it.
Good-bye.
Isn't that some beautiful weather?
How is it that you're
still here? To work?
Madame, it takes a lot of work
to hang this kind of chandelier.
But it's a completely different person!
That one there wasn't so fat.
That one was ripped to shreds,
so they sent a stronger one.
Take a look for yourself, Madame.
A beautiful wood carving.
It's actual gold covered brass mahogany.
And cut with a delicate hand, Madame.
I'll give you ... mahogany!
And where is the other Franz?
He just got up and left.
And imagine what he said, Madame.
He said that he's never worked
at a family as stupid as yours.
- He said that it stinks here.
- What stinks?
- Stinks.
- Stinks?
- Stinks.
- Madame, I know that person...
That rascal. That could be me.
My stinks. I might complain.
Wonderful, ma'am, but that lamp,
that's not proper work.
Go look for yourself.
He can't even hold himself up.
Just look at what wonderful work
it is ma'am. Just go look for yourself.
- Here you go and leave now.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me, ma'am. Thank you.
- Just go, just go.
Good-bye.
Fifi. You made a mess here.
- I'll take her out, if you don't mind.
- Yes.
"I'm blind from birth"
- What's going on?
- Professor Grant is here.
- Gwen is over there.
You have to deal with her.
- I'm going.
Bring some money for the chandelier.
They used their own. Glue and fasteners.
Hold this for me.
Where you're eating it
will be full of bacteria.
- What's that?
- A gun.
What are you hurrying for? I'm going
to go take care of the chandelier.
Are you looking for a maid, Madame?
It's too late, miss. I already
got a new maid yesterday.
If it would be alright, ma'am,
I would like to work for free.
I never knew our home was
so... come in, come in.
Do you know what?
I'll hire you both. You'll massage
that... lotion... potion... Lotion Potion.
Put your things here
and then come up stairs.
I bought another lamp.
Open the foyer and the salon.
I understand. Don't talk so loud.
The old lady is blabbing on the stairs.
Oh, tasty zmunda, huh?
The hall is free.
- Hello, ma'am.
- Come in.
- If you don't mind, ma'am...
- Yes.
- I know your maid...
- And?
- Right here?
- Thank you.
She's a vulgar crook.
She likes diamonds.
That's not possible. It's not
possible. Where is it? Here...
Here... My beautiful jeweled, diamond!
It's gone! What are we going to do?
- Call the police.
- Police!
Police. The commissioner... one second.
The police, right.
Yes Mr. Commissioner. Yes.
We both saw who stole the diamond.
Please come immediately, Mr. Commissioner.
Three strong men. Thank you.
She's completely beside herself.
Mr. Commissioner,
the Wertheim apartment, please.
We both who stole the diamond.
Please come immediately.
Ok, it's in there.
- Thank you ma'am.
- Yes.
I gave it... I gave the thief
puka, puka. Puk... lock. Over there.
- They're here.
- The police.
- Just rest for right now.
- Thank you. What would I do without you?
- Relax. She just went to the bedroom.
- Help me. I'm stuck.
- That's a sign.
That's really a sign...
Quickly, quickly.
She'll be here soon.
Hang it here. This chandelier
wouldn't even kill a bug.
- Hold on. Hold on!
- Hurry.
Undress, please.
We have to find that ring.
- Are you going to do it?
- Are you going to do it?!?
- Immediately, right now?
- Yes. Immediately.
You're going to do it!
Stop! What are you wearing?
I'm sorry. We're... we're
very poor servants...
...We, you see, what's more,
we don't have money for more...
Someone's in the salon!
- The ring!
- Oh, God!
- You're under arrest
- Oh, dear God.
Please, sirs, this must be a
mistake. You can't arrest me.
Yes. My beautiful,
crystal diamond! You, thief!
- Please, ma'am!
- You should be ashamed!
Ma'am, he's going to pay.
Thank you, officer.
You no good, dirty pig! You rascal!
What is this? You... you... you...
Oh, hello. Come in, please!
- Professor, be careful. They want to kill you.
- Shut up!
A kind of little... uh... small, uh...
They undressed in front of the police.
Get dressed, all of you!
I'd like to introduce to you Professor
Einstein, who Rada Wagner told you about.
And this is his protege,
the young prodigy at arithmetic...
...and son of Pech, our janitor.
Father-in-law. Yours.
If you don't get under the
chandelier, you'll get candy.
Why?
May I help you, ma'am?
Search him, thoroughly!
Hey, I found a weapon.
What kind is it?
How does it fire?
Like this.
Get undressed.
When is something fun going to start?
Okay, please ask him something.
How much is 9764 divided by 14?
Two of Grant's men are here.
Betsy.
Someone removed the glue from the chair.
I'll get him to come to the
foyer and you spray it again.
Six hundred ninety-seven
point four two eight.
Professor, someone is
waiting for you in the foyer.
Continue. I'll be back in a second.
But he wants to rest.
Bring him something, Emilka.
Just one second. Let me see
if he hasn't by chance gone...
- Sir, are you there, sir?
- It's occupied.
Excuse me.
Where could he have gone?
He's really not here.
Of course! He's inside, already.
Wasting my time only.
And a new problem. 212.857...
When you get a chance, I'd like
to have a word with you in private.
Excuse me.
851.428.
121.13 multiply by 845...
Commissioner. Commissioner!
Help!
Hurry! Do you hear me? Hurry! The chandelier
is falling in 5 minutes. Do you hear me?
Yes, I hear you.
Good. What did I want?
Look after your father-in-law.
Give him a toy or something.
Or lock him in the bathroom.
And tell one man to come. He must...
Relax. Relax. Relax.
You're with the society women, right?
Yes.
Why don't you cure this?
Wait! You're not allowed to go there.
The nerve of you. I think
I'm allowed into my own salon.
I understand, but the
chandelier is going to fall.
God damn it. Well I want to see that.
I'm going to call the constable.
Gott seid dank!
That's a pleasant surprise.
Imagine this: he won't even
let me into my own house!
You're under arrest.
Good!
You're under arrest.
Hold on, who's under arrest?
Put your hands up!
These is my wife's dinner party.
The dinner party is a success.
The thief got away, sir, but we are watching.
When is something fun going to start?
- Go to hell.
- Okay.
- Come with me. I need to talk.
- I can't.
It is very important.
For certain reasons, I can't.
Jesus Christ, this is horrible!
Quick! This way.
How did that chandelier stop in the air?
- What about gravity?
- Don't worry about gravity and hurry up!
Betsy, Betsy! Get your father-in-law out
and wait meet at the National Theater.
I understand.
This was supposed to be
the premier salon in Prague.
I don't go there again.
I'm afraid this isn't
the end of everything.
You'll have to listen
to me about everything.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Young lady, please,
when is something fun going to start?
A maid doesn't have a lot of time.
Perhaps Mrs. Werteim could
give you some time off.
Murderer! You disgusting murderer.
You're under arrest!
Turn on the lights.
He shot a person...
as if he were some partridge.
I killed Einstein, gentlemen.
But ask me why?
So that mothers could bear their
innocent children without beards.
So that happiness would spread
out over this world like a rainbow.
That's why I sacrificed a
person who has already died...
...when I was 13, or was it 14? No 13.
Take him away!
I destroyed the G-Bomb.
I saved your grandchildren.
Be happy.
He's a cold-blooded scoundrel.
We're going to write a report.
Yes.
Such a beautiful night.
Please, can I take off my coat?
What's that?
In the name of the law...
Professor Einstein.
But I'd like to explain that...
Look. What I'm interested in is...
Stop that!
Yes, yes, I would
like to explain that...
- I already told you that...
- Let her talk, already, inspector.
This is none of your business.
What I'm...
What should we do with him?
Hello, Mr. Commissioner.
Wake up.
Can you hear me?
Hello. Hurry, hurry.
Hold this for me, please.
Take care of your boss.
I bought this on Forty-Second Street.
It cost me a dollar.
You did that wonderfully.
Thank you.
Beautiful.
You should be a violinist.
We're all good at something.
Your fate is dishes. My fate is physics.
Should you be a mediocre
physicist, or a genius violinist.
Average physicist.
I'm sorry if you don't
understand these things.
And can you tell me what you've
accomplished that's beyond average?
Couldn't we just talk
about dill sauce instead?
As long as you understand that.
You're simply the author of the
theory of relativity. So what?
Did you know that the person
who thought up dill sauce
served humanity even more?
I'm not saying that the theory
of relativity is nonsense. No, no.
We were thinking about that...
...with Ruzena, who works
at the Krauses. Ouch, ouch.
At first we calculated that
m equals ro 2 pi over 2, r over 3...
But it seemed that the
universe is crooked.
Do you understand?
That's simply impossible.
- Who calculated that? You and...
- The cook at the Krauses.
Alzbeta was there too, but she
thought about it differently.
She found out that "E"
equals "M"... uh... times
..."C" power 2.
Do you know what that
means, by any chance?
No.
No?
Go see Ruzena. She's a terribly
nice girl. She'll help you.
A cook calculated this and
I'm working like a horse.
What am I then?
An unqualified physicist...
...but a wonderful violinist.
It's beautiful.
Wonderful.
Albert, when you play,
I feel like I could love you.
Daddy... Promise me you'll have kids.
Ok.
We'll see.
There'll be no "we'll see."
Look. Uncle is already here.
Come on.
Hurry up.
How does it look on the stage?
The last show is about to start.
The best time...
Nice that everything
had to happen like this...
I keep telling them these
are for middle distances.
Let's go.
Don't forget. Four children and the
third one is Frank. Don't forget Father.
Four kids. That's going to be tough.
What can I do for you, Secretary.
Yesterday you proposed that the UN
stop financing military actions...
...against the group of chemists.
That's right.
Against the group of Chemists?
Their experiments with fertility gas
made it so that men stopped being men!
That's true... but...
Allow me to register the sharpest protest
in the name of the whole delegation.
That's right!
How can we fight the chemists, when
we don't even know where they are?
We're trying to develop an antidote...
...We've spent billions, but you
have to have patience until...
By then, humanity
will have gone extinct.
Professor! David!
This isn't the institute of physics.
This is how it should be.
Since we destroyed the basis of modern
physics, everything is different.
The women don't have beards.
The women... don't have beards.
Yeah, but what about the men?
Those are men?
- Yeah.
- No.
That's...
...Frank!
Frank!
Frank!
And you are, Madame?
I'm your wife, Betsy.
You used to call me...
Sweetie. You remember.
- We were married for 7 years.
- I'm sorry.
A marriage is a cold.
I would have remembered.
But, you can't. You lived
in a different time. Look.
Oops. I already bathed.
In the year 1911, I gave your
father candy so you would be born.
Otherwise, a chandelier
would have fallen on his head.
He doesn't understand.
Do you see what you
have on your conscience?
The women are already
beginning to go crazy.
What does all of this mean?
Can you tell me who you are, sir?
- You wouldn't believe me.
- Do you hear that voice?
Professor. Professor Moore.
I went back in time where I
successful in a great thing:
I killed Einstein, gentlemen.
Uh, actually, uh, ...gentlemen.
I erased the bombs from history.
Bombs? I've never heard of bombs.
How could you? The basis was physics...
...which threatened the whole world.
You're mistaken, sir.
The world is threatened by chemistry.
Dangerous gasses are
destroying humanity.
Maybe not...
...if men still exist...
Actual men?
Help! Help!
Frank!
Look. Here is a picture of us.
This is me...
...and this is you!
He probably doesn't even realize
that he's the savior of humanity.
He's such a great person.
And did you see how funny it was
when he tried to protect himself?
- What are you going to call him?
- Maybe "Peter."
Also. If it will be a girl,
I'll call her "Pavla."
I better call home so
that they'll be happy, too.
How may I help you?
Paper... and a pen. Quickly.
You would... really... like to marry me?
Why else do you think I'd be doing this?
Frank...
We're going to have a
daughter again, okay?
Like before...
- That... might be hard.
- Mr. Secretary?
Excuse me. Mr. Secretary,
a solution has been found.
That professor Moore is
here and he insists...
...he can destroy the group
of chemists and their hideout.
Really?
With what?
Yes. Our thanks belong
to Professor Moore.
It is he who destroyed the fertility
gas machine with his invention.
And within a short time,
brought life back to normal.
Thereby making us men happy...
...and women.
He has brought happiness
to all of humanity.
Which he practically saved
in the face of destruction.
Moore made a bomb...
...with which has begun...
...the happy future...
...of humanity.
In honor of our genius saviour...
...we'll hear a Sonata
by Mozart E Mol...
...which will be played by
master violinist Albert Einstein.
It's nothing serious.
Gwen?
But my name isn't Gwen.
Would you please allow
me to introduce you both?
Professor Moore. Mr. Einstein.
Frank. Surely you have
something to talk about here.
With the old lady.
Gwen?
How... how... How have
you been all this time?
Definitely better than you.
The beginning of the
century was magical.
- Jane?
- Yes, Mom?
This is Jane.
We already know each other.
How is it that you all know each other?
You wouldn't understand it, Albert.
It's because of that field of yours...
...that... uhm... physics.
I was interested in
physics a long time ago.
But fortunately I stopped that.
And that was a good thing.
That field just existed on
the periphery of science.
You've just now made something
of it. Congratulations.
You should step just over
to the side, Professor.
Why, Mommy?
That's nothing.
Dices of glass symbolize happiness.
The End