I Got the Hook Up (1998) - full transcript

Man: UH! HA HA!

♪ HOW YOU DO THAT THERE?

Woman: GIRL, YOU DONE
FUCKED IT UP FOR ME.

I WAS GETTING
MY HAIR DONE.

Different woman:
LISTEN, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO MESS UP YOUR HAIR,

BUT BLUE SOLD ME
A BAD DAMN TV.

WELL, SEE, FUCK
THEM BALLERS.

SEE, I'M TRYING
TO GET MY HEAD ON

BECAUSE YOU KNOW I
GOT A DATE TONIGHT.

WHO YOU GOT
A DATE WITH?

CLYDE.



CLYDE? WHY YOU GOING
OUT WITH CLYDE?

HE'S STUPID.

CLYDE GOT A BIG
DICK, SO DON'T
WORRY ABOUT IT.

YEAH, BUT, BESSIE,
I THOUGHT YOU
WAS A VIRGIN.

I AM A VIRGIN.
I'VE BEEN A VIRGIN
FOR 5 YEARS.

MATTER OF FACT,
I'M TRYING TO GET
MY GOLDEN PUSSY

SO I CAN RETIRE.

JUST COME ON AND HELP
ME GET THIS TV FIXED.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHERE THE FUCK YOU
GET THIS CART FROM?

I THINK IT'S
WORKING ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, OK. YOU RUN
OVER MY CORN,

I'M PUTTING MY FOOT
UP YOUR ASS,

AND YOU'LL SEE
HOW GOOD IT WORKS.

I TOLD YOU TO GET
THAT PEDIFURE.



IT'S PEDICURE, BITCH.

[TELEPHONE DIALING]YOU IS A--

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

["UNABLE TO CONNECT" TONE]

Man: ♪ FROM TEXAS
TO ATLANTA, NIGGA,
WE DON'T CARE ♪

♪ NIGGAZ HOLLA,
HOW YOU DO THAT THERE ♪

♪ MISSOURI, OHIO,
NIGGA, WE DON'T CARE ♪

♪ HOLLA, HOW YOU
DO THAT THERE ♪

♪ D.C. TO THE VALLEY,
NIGGA, WE DON'T CARE ♪

♪ WE IN THESE STREETS,
ANYTHING GOES ♪

♪ MY COUSIN'S IN THE PEN HITTING
THAT IRON GETTING SWOLL ♪

♪ SENT ME A LETTER SAYING
P, GET YO PAPER ♪

♪ DON'T TRUST THESE HOS

♪ THESE NIGGAZ WILL TAKE YOU

♪ HUSTLING IS A HABIT

♪ CORNBREAD AND CABBAGE,
POPCORN AND GRITS ♪

♪ NIGGA TRYING TO
GET A RABBIT ♪

♪ WHAT ABOUT A NICE STALLION TO
SLIDE IN ♪

♪ 20-INCH VOGUES AND SOME
CANDY PAINTED TO RIDE IN ♪

♪ NIGGAZ FLIP CHANGE IN THE GAME
'CAUSE WE SOLDIERS ♪

♪ EYES EVER RED 'CAUSE
A NIGGA BLOWING DOJA ♪

♪ TIE THE BLACK SHOW STRANGS
TIGHT ON THE REEBOKS ♪

♪ GRAB YO SKI MASK, DKNY,
I MEAN A PLASTIC GLOCK ♪

♪ HOS BOUNCE THAT ASS,
NIGGAS GETTING DEALT WIT' ♪

♪ KEEP YO ENEMY TIGHT,
NIGGA NEVER THANK QUICK ♪

♪ POUR OUT SOME LIQUOR
TO THE HOMIES THAT I OWE ♪

♪ R.I.P. TO EVERY FUCKING
RAPPER, THAT IS GONE ♪

♪ NIGGA IF YOU BOUT IT,
SCREAM AND YOU SHOUT IT ♪

♪ IT AIN'T WHERE YOU FROM,
EVERY NIGGA GET ROWDY ♪

DAMN, CARLA.

I DONE MISSED
THE SOAP OPERAS,

THE TALK SHOWS,
AND THE NEWS.

NO, BESSIE.
I TURNED THE VCR ON.

BESSIE, WHAT YOU YOU GOT,
YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TV?

OH, I'M SORRY.
BESSIE, I DIDN'T KNOW.

YOU'S A SORRY ASS.

HURRY UP SO I CAN
GO FINISH GETTING
MY HAIR DONE.

IT'S GONNA LOOK
REAL PRETTY WHEN
IT'S FINISHED.

IT SHOULD HAVE LOOKED
PRETTY RIGHT NOW.
KEEP PUSHING.

WHY DON'T YOU ALL
GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY?

MOVE.

LOOK OUT. SOMEBODY
COMING THROUGH
WITH A TV.

GET BACK!

MOVE!

[ENGINE REVVING]

OH, DAMN!

IF IT AIN'T THE GHETTO
TWINS--UG AND LY.

Y'ALL GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE.
WE'RE CLOSED.

AAH.

Carla:
...HAIR DONE IS
WHAT YOU NEED.

Bessie: WELL, I WOULD HAVE
GOT MY HAIR FINISHED

IF YOU WOULDN'T
PAYING FOR YOUR BUSINESS.

"HELP ME. HELP ME.
I CAN'T GET MY MONEY BACK."

Woman: SIGN HERE,
THERE, AND THERE.

WE'LL NOTIFY YOU
WITHIN 40 MINUTES

IF YOUR CREDIT HAS
BEEN APPROVED, OK?

OK.

Bessie: ...ALL THE WAY
UP YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS.

WHO'S THAT?

IT'S JUST NASTY MOUTH
CARLA

AND HER SISTER
BAD MOUTH BESSIE.

THEY'RE GOOD CUSTOMERS.

WELL, WHY SHE CURSE
LIKE THAT?

THEM GIRLS ARE VICTIMS
OF A CUSSING HOUSEHOLD.

EVERYTHING IS
MOTHERFUCKER THIS,
MOTHERFUCKER THAT,

AND THAT'S WHEN
THEY IN CHURCH.

JESUS, JESUS, JESUS.

PRAY FOR THEM.

I WILL.

NO REFUND, MY ASS.

BLUE AND BLACK, SOMEBODY
BETTER GIVE US BACK

OUR MOTHERFUCKING MONEY,
OR YOU GONNA GET

YOUR MOTHERFUCKING
ASS WHUPPED.

THAT'S RIGHT.
SOMEBODY GONNA GET

THEIR MOTHERFUCKING
ASS WHUPPED.

BLUE, HOW YOU GONNA
SELL US THIS SAD-ASS TV?

DISAPPEAR, YOU
BLIND MONKEY BITCHES

BEFORE I GET OUT
MY "BITCH BEGONE"
SPRAY AND SPRAY YOU.

BITCH BEGONE.
BITCH BEGONE.

BUT I'LL
TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU CAN TALK
YOUR SISTER INTO

GIVING ME
SOME OF THAT ASS,

MAYBE I'LL GIVE YOU
A COUPLE OF DOLLARS.

YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA
GET NONE OF THIS SHIT.

ALL I NEED ARE
5 PUMPS.

MATTER OF FACT,
GIVE ME 4.

I WOULDN'T EVEN NEED
THE FIFTH ONE.

FIRST OF ALL,
WHO ARE YOU CALLING

LITTLE PUNK BITCH,
MOTHERFUCKER?

I GOT STRETCH MARKS
BIGGER THAN YOU.

ANYWAY, YOUR
GRANDMA'S A...

BITCH!

HA.

YOUR BREATH
SMELL LIKE SHIT!

SITTING THERE
LOOKING LIKE

WESLEY WHEN HE DID
"TO WONG FU."

I'M GONNA BE PASSING
A .56 ALL UP IN YOUR ASS

IF YOU DON'T GIVE US
OUR MONEY BACK.

THAT'S NOT THE NAME
OF THE MOVIE, BI--

YOU'S A DUMB, LITTLE,
SHORT TWO-INCH BITCH.

YOU TALKING ABOUT
MY HEIGHT OR YOUR DICK?

YOU SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT BIG.

I SHOULD WHIP MY DICK OUT
AND PUT IT UP YOUR ASS--

CAN I HAVE MY
MONEY BACK?

Blue: SHOVE YOUR
FINE ASS OUT OF HERE

BEFORE I SNATCH YOUR
FUCKING WEED...

[ARGUING]

WHAT'S GOING ON?
BLUE, MAN?

BITCHES, DAWG.

CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M TRYING TO RUN
A BUSINESS

AROUND HERE, DAWG?

Blue: FUCK THIS UGLY BITCH.

IT'S BUSINESS, BITCH.

WHAT'S UP,
CARLA, BABE?

FUCK YOU, BUBBLES.

BLACK.

WHAT'S UP, BABY?
YOU ALL RIGHT?

I WANT MY MOTHERFUCKING
MONEY BACK.

NOW, YOU KNOW ALL SALES
ARE FINAL, BABY.

BUT I HATE TO HAVE
A DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER.

SINCE I'M SWEET ON YOU,
I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT
I'M GONNA DO.

DON'T FALL FOR THAT
SHIT, BITCH.

TAKE THIS RAGGLY
MOTHERFUCKER TO 122nd STREET

TO OUR REPAIR SHOP,
TELL THEM YOU'RE ONE
OF BLACK'S HONEYS,

AND THEY'RE GONNA
FIX IT FOR YOU.

HOW WE GONNA CARRY THAT SHIT
BACK TO 122nd STREET, BLACK?

Blue: PUT IT ON YOUR BACK.

Black: HOLD ON.
HOLD ON, MAN.

CUSTOMER SERVICE, BABY.

CUSTOMER SERVICE,
MY ASS. DAMN.

DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY.

I'LL PUT IT ON
MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT,
YOU HEARD ME?

MAKE SURE SHE DON'T
HURT THAT THING

WHILE Y'ALL ARE
GOING OVER THERE,
HEAR?

CARLA.

HEY, FUCK THE 4 PUMPS.

JUST GIVE ME TWO PUMPS
AND A GRIND.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON,
BLUE, MAN.

YOU AIN'T GONNA NEVER
GET NO COOCHIE
LIKE THAT.

MAN, FUCK THAT, MAN.

WHY'D YOU SEND THEM
OVER THERE TO OUR
REPAIR SHOP, MAN?

EVERYBODY KNOW
OUR GODDAMN POLICY.

NO REFUNDS.

YOU SCARED MR. MIMS
GONNA FUCK BEFORE YOU?

HOW COME HE'S SUCH
A MAC AND YOU AIN'T GOT
NO GAME AT ALL, DAWG?

YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
FORGET ABOUT IT.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO START
THAT SHIT NO MORE.

WHY YOU LOOKING AT ME
LIKE THAT, DAWG?

YOU'S A PUNK ASS MOTHER.
LEAVE IT ALONE, ALL RIGHT?

BOY, YOU GONNA MAKE ME
WHUP YOUR ASS.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU
SOMETHING, DAWG.

YOU RUN YOUR MOUTH
TOO MUCH.

YOU LEARN TO CONTROL
YOUR MOUTH,

YOU MIGHT FUCK
BOTH OF THEM.

I DON'T WANT TO FUCK
BOTH OF THEM.

I'LL FUCK CARLA,
BUT THAT BESSIE-LOOKING
BALD-HEADED UGLY BITCH,

I WOULDN'T FUCK HER
IN--GODDAMN, IF I WAS
ON PAROLE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I WOULDN'T FUCK HER
IN PUBLIC.

NOW, I CATCH THE BITCH
LIKE LATE-NIGHT
BY A DOGHOUSE,

OH, I'D TEAR
THAT ASS UP.

RUFF! RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF!

YEAH, DAWG.

UGLY NAPPY-HAIRED
FUCKER.

♪ MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE
BREAD LIKE THIS ♪

♪ MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE
BREAD LIKE THIS ♪

♪ MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE
BREAD, MAKE MAKE MAKE
MAKE MAKE BREAD ♪

♪ MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE
BREAD LIKE THIS ♪

♪ LET ME GIVE
A SHOUT-OUT TO DEVO ♪

♪ GODDAMN NEIGHBORHOOD...

UH, EXCUSE ME.

I'M LOOKING FOR
THE 9000 BUILDING,

A MR. GOLDSTEIN.

ALL THE NUMBERS SEEM
TO BE MISSING
AROUND HERE.

THEY SENT A GOLD MINE
IN THE GHETTO.

SHIT. JUST LIKE
REGINALD DENNY.

I WANT A REFUND.

NO. I CAN SAY NO
IN A LOT OF DIFFERENT WAYS.

FRENCH--NO OUI OH.
SPANISH--EL NO OH.

BABY TALK--UH-UH.
BLACK PEOPLE--HELL, NO.

THIS IS THE 9000
BUILDING RIGHT HERE.

WHO ARE YOU
LOOKING FOR?

MR. GOLDSTEIN.

THAT'S ME, BABY.
I'M MR. GOLDSTEIN.

YOU'RE MR. GOLDSTEIN?

WHAT YOU SAYING THERE?
YOU THOUGHT I WAS SAMMY
OR WHOOPI OR SOMETHING?

OH, OH, NO.

YOU NEVER SEEN A BLACK
MR. GOLDSTEIN?

Blue; OUT OF MY
GODDAMN WAY.

Black: WHO YOU IS--
MISTER ROGERS?

NO. I'M SORRY.

LISTEN. UH, LOOK.

JUST, UH--
JUST SIGN THIS.

I'M SORRY
I GOT LOST.

YOU KNOW, IF
MY BOSS FOUND OUT,

I WOULD BE
IN BIG SHIT.

I'M NOT GONNA LET
YOUR BOSS FIND OUT.

IT HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, THE KIDS BE
CHANGING THE NUMBERS
ON THE STREET.

OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Blue: WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

Driver: OH, IS THAT
MR. GINSBERG?

NO, THAT'S MY LITTLE
BROTHER LEROY GOLDSTEIN.

SAY IT. GOLDSTEIN.
GOLDSTEIN.

WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON HERE?

ALL RIGHT. TH-THANK YOU.
WHERE DO YOU WANT IT?

WHERE DO YOU WANT
THEM, SIR?

HERE. LET ME GIVE YOU
SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

OH, HELL, NO.

Driver:
OH, THANK YOU,
MR. GOLDSTEIN!

HURRY UP. PUT THEM
PACKAGES RIGHT THERE.

RIGHT. YOU GOT IT.

Blue: YOU JUST GAVE
AWAY OUR WHOLE DAY
OF PROFITS, MAN.

CHILL OUT. GO CHECK
ON THE BUSINESS, MAN.

NOBODY GONNA--
SHIT AIN'T WORTH--

GO CHECK ON
THE BUSINESS, MAN.

SEE IF SOMEBODY'S
STEALING OR SOMETHING
OVER THERE.

ANYBODY
STEALING? NO.

RIGHT HERE, SIR?

PUT IT RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHTY.

DON'T TRIP.
I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS
HERE, HEAR?

Blue: YOU JUST DONE
GAVE ALL OUR MONEY
TO BARNEY FIFE.

Black: MAN, CHILL OUT.

THANK YOU, SIR.

ALL RIGHT,
MISTER ROGERS,

HURRY UP AND GET
OUT OF HERE.

THERE ARE GANG-BANGERS
AROUND HERE.

OH, MY.

YOU MIGHT GET JACKED.

YOU BETTER HURRY UP
BACK TO MAYBERRY.

AND YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE STILL MAD

ABOUT THAT RODNEY KING
THING, TOO.

[ENGINE STARTS]

WHY THE FUCK YOU BUY
ALL THESE BOXES?

YOU HOMELESS?

BECAUSE I GOT
THE HOOK UP.

THE HOOK UP?

THE HOOK UP,
BABY.

I'LL JUST OPEN THEM UP,
AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU

WHAT'S IN THERE.

HA HA. ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!

HELLO. HELLO!

WAIT A MINUTE. THESE
GODDAMN THINGS
DON'T EVEN WORK.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, BOY.

SAY HELLO TO THE FIRST
WIRELESS CELLULAR PHONE
CEO IN THE HOOD.

WE'RE GONNA HOOK
EVERYBODY UP, BABY.

HOOK
EVERYBODY UP?

HOW THE FUCK
ARE WE GONNA GET

THESE THINGS
HOOKED UP, MAN?

LITTLE BROTHER.

LITTLE BROTHER GOT
A CHIP, BABY.

WE GONNA GET PAID,
BLUE.

AIN'T GOT TO BE NO MORE
HUSTLER NO MORE, BABY.

WELL, SHIT. MIGHT AS
WELL GO FIND HIM.

YOU KNOW, I THINK HE
OVER AT THE CHURCH

PAYING HIS RESPECTS
TO BARRELHEAD.

WELL, I GUESS WE'RE GONNA
PAY OUR RESPECTS, TOO.

RIGHT NOW.
LET'S GO.

OK, LET'S PUT THESE
IN THE CAR.

UH, BLACK.

WE AIN'T GOT A CAR.

OH, I FORGOT.
LET'S GO PUT THEM
IN THE SHOP.

AFTER WE GET FINISHED
SLINGING THESE, BABY,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE MORE
CARS IN A LITTLE BIT.

Bessie: DAMN. IT
DON'T LOOK LIKE

NO MOTHERFUCKER'S
EVER HERE.

SOMEBODY'S HERE BECAUSE
BLACK WOULDN'T SEND ME

IF THERE WASN'T SOMEBODY
WHO WAS GONNA FIX IT.

Both: HELLO!

HELLO!

HELLO!

HELLO! YOU GOT
A MOTHERFUCKING
CUSTOMER OUT HERE!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

WE'RE NOT OPEN
TO THE PUBLIC,
YOUNG LADY.

BLACK SENT ME HERE,
AND HE TOLD ME TO
TELL YOU

TO FIX THIS TV
AND PUT IT ON HIS
PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

BLACK SAID--OOH.

LOOK AT THIS PRETTY
BLACK CHOCOLATE
COOKIE HERE.

ALL THAT PRETTY
HAIR AND GOLD
ON TOP OF YOUR EYES

AND GOLD LIPS
ON YOU.

WHOO. LOOK AT YOU
NUBIAN GODDESS.

MR. MIMS, YOU DON'T
SOUND LIKE NO TV
REPAIRMAN TO ME.

I WAS WORKING
IN THE BACK
ON SOME TVs.

HERE'S ONE RIGHT HERE.
WORKING ON A TV
RIGHT HERE, SEE?

SHIT.

I HEARD ABOUT YOU, MAN.

FUCKING ALL
THE YOUNG GIRLS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU NEED TO GET
AN OLD HO LIKE
MYSELF,

A BITCH THAT CAN
SUCK YOUR DICK

AND MAKE BISCUITS
FROM SCRATCH.

YOU USE JOHNSON'S
BAKING POWDER?

YEAH, AND THAT
AIN'T THE ONLY THING
I MAKE RISE.

OH, FINE-LOOKING
THING, YOU.

MR. MIMS.

WHAT?

ARE YOU GONNA
FIX THE TV?

YEAH. I CAN TELL
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TV.

I CAN TELL FROM HERE.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH IT?

YOU NEED A TUBE.

A TUBE?
A TUBE.

A SIMPLE TUBE.
I'M GONNA GO IN THE BACK
RIGHT NOW

AND CHECK OUT SOME TUBES.

I GOT SOME TUBES
I WANT YOU TO CHECK OUT.

COME ON, CAT DAD.

YEAH. COME ON, BABY.

YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A TUBE?

YEAH, A TUBE
FOR THE TV.
BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU'RE GONNA FIX
THE TV?

FIX THE TV FOR YOU.

AND YOU'RE
COMING BACK?

RIGHT AWAY.

RIGHT AWAY.
OK.

Bessie: WHOO!
GO, DADDY.

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
YOU'RE FIXING THE TV,
MR. MIMS.

[INDISTINCT]

MR. MIMS, IT DON'T SOUND
LIKE YOU'RE GETTING
NO TUBE.

UH! YES, SHE IS.
OH, SHE GETTING
THE RIGHT TUBE, TOO,

THE RIGHT ONE. UH!

BESSIE, WHAT
YOU EATING?

SHE'S EATING
SOME BUTTER COOKIES.

FINE. I'M GONNA GO
TAKE CARE OF THIS
SHIT, BESSIE.

[BOTH BARKING]

♪ THIS IS FOR THE BURBANS
AND THE CADILLACS ♪

♪ WITH THE 10s AND THE 12s
BUMPING IN THE BACK ♪

♪ THIS IS FOR THE PLAYAS,
HUSTLAS, PIMPS, AND MACS ♪

♪ WITH THE BENZES
MAKING ENDS ♪

♪ I'M MAKING PAPER STACKS

♪ THIS IS FOR THE BURBANS
AND THE CADILLACS ♪

♪ WITH THE 10s AND THE 12s
BUMPING IN THE BACK ♪

[ORGAN PLAYING HYMN]

[SOB]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Man: HMM?

HMM? HMM?

WHAT Y'ALL LOOKING
AT, HMM?

[INDISTINCT]

OLD BARRELHEAD.
FINALLY GOT HIM, HUH?

Man: HUH!

WHAT'S UP,
LITTLE BROTHER?

WHAT'S UP, BLACK?
I'M SURPRISED TO
SEE YOU HERE.

DIDN'T KNOW BARRELHEAD
WAS ONE OF YOUR
FAVORITE PEOPLE.

GUESS YOU REALLY
DON'T KNOW ME
LIKE YOU SHOULD.

WHAT'S UP, BLUE?

CHILLIN'.

BLESSED ARE THEY
THAT MOURN,

FOR THEY SHALL BE
COMFORTED.

Man: HE AIN'T GONNA
FUCK WITH ME.

BLESSED ARE THE MEEK.
THEY SHALL INHERIT
THE EARTH.

...WACKO, BRO.

AND BLESSED
ARE THE PEACEMAKERS...

...CRAZY CHECKING UP
IN THE LOONY FARM, BRO.

THEY SHALL BE CALLED
THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

THIS BITCH IS CRAZY.

AND OH, HOW WE NEED
PEACEMAKERS

IN THIS WORLD TODAY.

I WISH HE'D
JACK ME.

HE GONNA BE A DEAD
OLD WHACKING MOTHERFUCKER

THAT THE GOVERNMENT
DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ANOTHER--

HEY--

WHERE, WHERE, MAN?
WHERE?

HA HA HA!
YOU'RE BUT A COWARD,
MY MAN.

WHY YOU PLAYING
LIKE THAT?

Minister: NOW, AS I LOOK
ABOUT THE CONGREGATION,

I NOTICE WE HAVE
SOME PEOPLE HERE

COMMONLY REFERRED TO
AS GANG BANGERS.

I HAVE A FEW WORDS
FOR YOU.

[DOOR CREAKS]

Man: OH.

[CONGREGATION WHISPERING]

SAY--SAY, MAN, WHY
EVERYBODY TURNING AROUND?

OH, SHIT, MAN.

IT'S THAT OLD BITCH
MS. ROSE.

SHE SWORE THAT IF
BARRELHEAD EVER DIED
BEFORE SHE DID,

SHE'D SPIT
IN HIS COFFIN.

AS A KID, BARRELHEAD
DID SOME TERRIBLE THINGS.

HE ONCE BROKE
INTO HER HOUSE, STOLE
ALL THE APPLIANCES,

PISSED ON HER PORCH,
AND SHIT IN HER HOUSE.

DAMN. WHAT DID HE HAVE--
DIARRHEA?

[INDISTINCT]

NOW CHECK THIS OUT.

SPIT ON HIS ASS,
MS. ROSE.

SAY, MAN.
SAVE YOUR SHIT.

CHECK THIS OUT,
LITTLE BROTHER.

YOU STILL HAVE THEM
CHIP CELLULAR PHONE
HOOK UP?

NO TRIP, DAWG.
I'M JUST ASKING YOU,
YOU KNOW.

SO THAT'S WHAT THIS
IS ABOUT, HUH?

MAN, I'M--

ALWAYS ABOUT
BUSINESS.

I'M TALKING
BIG BUCKS.

NO WHAMMIES!
NO WHAMMIES.

IN THAT CASE,
HERE'S MY CARD.

Ms. Rose: I'M GLAD
THEY GOT YOU, BARRELHEAD.

YOU BIG-HEADED
SON OF A BITCH!

OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!

UH, NO, NO, NO!
NO FIGHTING!

[GLASS BREAKS]

GOD WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN!

THE LORD'S GONNA GET YOU!

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

[SHOUTING]

[GLASS BREAKS]

Man: I USED TO BE
A FIGHTER!

MAN, THAT BOY BARRELHEAD
WAS A TRIP.

WHAT DID THAT FOOL
DIE FROM ANYWAY?

THAT FOOL CHOKED
ON A DRY BOX
OF CORN FLAKES.

I BET IT WAS LIKE
THAT COMMERCIAL, HUH?

WHAT COMMERCIAL?

GOT MILK?

[LAUGHS]

AAH!

BLUE, GET YOUR
SCARED ASS OFF ME.

Blue: MAN, I WAS
JUST PLAYING.

UH!

TIME TO GO TAKE CARE
OF THE SOFTWARE, FOOL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT?

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT, BABY.

WHAT YOU--WHAT YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT YOU TALKING
ABOUT, MAN?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Woman: OH, NOT
THERE. THERE.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGH]

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

Black: WHAT? LORRAINE,
THIS IS BLACK, BABY.

BLACK, MY BABY!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOUR PHONE CALL.

6 MONTHS, NIGGA?
BE REAL.

Blue: HEY, MAN, LET
ME USE THE PHONE.

THIS GIRL JUST
PAGED ME, MAN. 911.

WHO'S THAT WITH YOU?
SOUNDS LIKE BLUE.

Black: THAT AIN'T
NOBODY.

THAT'S SOME--SOME MAN
WAITING,

TRYING TO GET
THEIR PHONE.

OH, YOU'RE SUCH...

YOU'RE STILL MY BABY.

WHEN AM I GONNA
SEE YOU AGAIN?

THAT'S WHAT I'M
CALLING YOU ABOUT.

12:30 TOMORROW.
LET'S DO LUNCH.

WHEREVER YOU WANT.

TELL HER I WANT
TO GO, TOO.

I'M HUNGRY.
I'M HUNGRY.

I'M GONNA NEED
TO EAT. HUNGRY.

THE JAPANESE RESTAURANT
BY THE LAKE.

I'LL BE THERE AT 12:29
IN MY RED DRESS,

HIGH HEELS, AND NO PANTIES.

NO PANTIES?

WELL, I'LL BE THERE
WITH A BLACK SHIRT,
BLACK HAT,

AND NO BOXING DRAWERS.

TELL HER I'LL HAVE
ON SOME GYM SOCKS

AND A BACKSTAGE
PASS FROM A KOOL
MOE DEE CONCERT.

TELL HER I'LL BE
IN SOME COWBOY BOOTS

WITH SOME CLICK-CLACKS
AROUND MY NECK.

HEY, TELL HER I'M
GONNA BE BUTT NAKED

WITH A BED ON
AND A BEEPER

AND SOME BLUE
BLOCKERS.

TELL HER I'M GONNA
BE BUTT NAKED

WITH A BODY--
A--A RADIO STICKING
OUT OF MY ASS

AND A GOLD NECKLACE

AND A CLASS RING.

TELL HER I'M GONNA
BE ASSHOLE-NAKED

WITH SOME HANDCUFFS
AND A WHIP.

AND A HULA SKIRT
AND A SADDLE
ON MY BACK.

I'M GONNA CALL YOU
LATER, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW, BABE.

AND A HAT.

YOU SEE I'M ON
THE DAMN PHONE?

MAN, YOU KNOW YOU
LOSING YOUR MIND
OVER THAT GIRL, MAN.

SHE GOT YOU TELLING
ME I'M NOT BLUE
AND YOU NOT BLACK.

WHO THE HELL ARE WE?

[GONG SOUNDS]

WHAT'S UP, BABY?
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.

MMM. IS THAT YOUR
CELL PHONE IN YOUR POCKET,

OR ARE YOU JUST
HAPPY TO SEE ME?

BOTH.

SPEAKING ABOUT
A CELLULAR PHONE,

YOU STILL HAVE THAT
CELLULAR PHONE JOB?

HAVE A SEAT.

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN
NO CHINESE RESTAURANT.

HOW YOU DO THIS?

LOOK AT YOU.

THERE YOU GO.

LIKE THAT?

YEAH.

I AIN'T ABOUT TO
TAKE MY SHOES OFF.

OK. DON'T TAKE
YOUR SHOES OFF.

I KNOW WHAT
THESE IS.

WILL YOU JUST
STOP IT?

YOU STILL AT
THE CELLULAR PHONE
COMPANY?

YES, I AM, AND I'M
STILL CATCHING CRIMINALS.

I KNOW A CRIMINAL
WHO NEED A FAVOR.

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?

I'M JUST SAYING
THAT, UH...

MY BOY CAME UP ON
SOME CELLULAR
PHONES,

AND I'M TRYING
TO HELP HIM.

YEAH. I HOPE YOU'RE
NOT, LIKE, THINKING

ABOUT CLONING
FREQUENCIES.

WE PUT PEOPLE AWAY
FOR THAT STUFF
EVERY DAY.

NAH. I WOULDN'T DO
NOTHING LIKE THAT.

I JUST NEED
SOMEBODY LIKE YOU
ON THE INSIDE

TO LOOK OUT FOR US.

ARE YOU FUCKING
CRAZY?

LOOK, I CAN LOSE
MY JOB.

YOU KNOW, I GOT SUPERVISORS
ALL UP IN MY SHIT.

WHERE WOULD YOU GET
THE PHONES FROM ANYWAY?

IT'S LEGIT.
STOP TRIPPIN'.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
YOUR ASS CAN GO TO
THE PEN FOR THAT SHIT.

I AIN'T GOING
NOWHERE

TILL THEY GET ME
SOME CHEESEBURGERS.

CHEESEBURGER?
CHEESEBURGER?

CHEESEBURGER?

HEY, STOP.

YOU.

YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T
HOOK YOU UP
LIKE THAT, BABY.

BESIDES, I GOT TOO
MUCH LOVE FOR YOU

AND I AIN'T TAKING
NO FOR AN ANSWER.

MAYBE WE CAN
WORK SOMETHING OUT.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I WAS THINKING.

TUESDAYS AND SATURDAYS
AT 8:00 SHARP.

WEAR THAT COLOGNE
I GOT YOU FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY,

AND BRING THAT CHOCOLATE
TOPPING THAT HARDENS

AND YOUR SONS OF FUNK
PUSHING INSIDE

SLOW JAM CD.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE SAYING TUESDAYS
AND SATURDAY.

YEAH.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
TWICE A WEEK.

YOU HAVING
SECOND THOUGHTS?

ANYTHING FOR YOU,
BABY.

YEAH.

BECAUSE YOU GOT
THE CANDY

AND I GOT
THE HOOK UP.

YEAH.

MMM.
MMM.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE COMING OUT.

WE'RE OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

CELL PHONES, PAGERS,
AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF.

Y'ALL STEP ON UP
AND SEE WHAT YOU WANT.

WHAT'S UP? YOUR HAIR
LOOK LIKE TACO MEAT.

HEY, BABY, YOU'RE
GORGEOUS. ALL RIGHT.

TUPAC. ALL RIGHT,
COME ON IN, BABY.
COME ON IN.

HEY, JANE, HOW YOU
DOING, GIRL?

LOOKS GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, BOY.
TAKE A LOOK.

YOU CAN CALL NAIROBI ON
THIS WHEN I GET THROUGH.

ASIA.

THE FEE WILL BE SO HIGH,
THEY WON'T KNOW WHO
TO CHARGE IT TO.

PUT YOUR OWN ASS OVER HERE.

LOOK. LITTLE BROTHER
GONNA HOOK HIM UP.

YOU WANT ONE, TOO?

NOW PUT THAT
ON YOUR HEAD.

I AIN'T GOT
NO MORE GHERI CURLS.
THIS IS THE LAST ONE.

HEY! GET THE FUCK
OUT OF MY GODDAMN TRUCK.

Y'ALL ARE UP HERE.
STAY AWAY.

CAN'T EVEN GET A FUCKING
LUNCH BREAK AROUND HERE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HOLD ON.

Woman:
IS MINE READY?

Man: ♪ HOOK IT UP,
I'VE GOT THE HOOK UP ♪

♪ HOOK IT UP, I'VE GOT
THE HOOK UP ♪

♪ HOOK IT UP,
I'VE GOT THE HOOKUP ♪

TURN AROUND AND
LET ME SEE YOU.

WHAT YOU GOT THERE
IN YOUR HAND?

A SLIP? OH.

TAKE THIS FLIP PHONE.

IT'LL WORK FOREVER
IF YOU CALL ME EVERY DAY.

Man: ♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT A THING ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WE GOT SUPER WHEELS

PERFECT.

IF THESE...

OLD-ASS CHIPS DON'T WORK
IN THESE NEW PHONES,

BLACK GONNA BE
MADDER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER.

♪ YOU WANT THE HOOK UP?

[BELL RINGS]

YO, UH, AFTER YOU MAKE
THAT DEPOSIT,

COME BACK OVER HERE.

THINGS ARE GOING
KIND OF GOOD.

I NEED YOU TO PICK UP
SOME MORE MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

OOH, LORD, IT'S HOT.
WHERE YOU ALL AT?

I GOT TO HAVE A PHONE.

I'D BETTER GET
SOME FUCKING CREDIT

FROM BLACK
AND BLUE ASS.

WHERE YOU AT,
SISTER?

I THOUGHT I HEARD
YOUR MOUTH.

WHAT'S HAPPENING,
LOLA MAE?

OH, NOTHING.

NOW, GIRL,
I NEED CREDIT.

UH-HUH.

WELL, I GOT TO HAVE
A CELLULAR

TO TAKE CARE
OF MY BUSINESS.

NO, NO, NO.

LOLA, YOU KNOW HOW
THOSE NIGGAS ARE

WHEN THEY GET
OUT OF JAIL.

WHO'S THE FIRST
PERSON THEY CALL?

TOOTSIE PIE.

THE FIRST PERSON
THEY CALL.

TOOTSIE PIE.

RIGHT, BABY.

THEY WANT SOME
JAILHOUSE PUSSY.

HA HA HA!

NOW, YOU KNOW YOUR
OWN MAMA WON'T
GIVE YOU CREDIT,

SO WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK I CAN DO
ANYTHING FOR YOU?

THAT'S WHY HER ASS
IS AT HOME IN THE CLOSET.

BE GOOD.

ME AND MY BIG MOUTH
GETTING ME BUSTED
FOR MAMA ABUSE.

THOUGH I WOULD LOVE
TO GO TO JAIL, THOUGH.

BECAUSE YOU WANT
TO DROP SOME?

MM-HMM.

BENDING OVER,
PICKING IT UP.

CALL THE COP, BECAUSE
I AIN'T GONNA STOP IT!

EXCUSE ME, BUT
COULD I GET SOME
FUCKING SERVICE HERE?

BABY, I'LL GIVE YOU
SOME SERVICE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

DON'T YOU TOUCH ME.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

OOH, I LOVE
THAT FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

BOY, THAT SHOPPING
CENTER SURE DRAWN

A WHOLE BUNCH
OF UNDESIRABLES
AROUND HERE.

MHH-HMM.

MAMA GIRL?

HEY, MAMA GIRL,
I NEED SOME MONEY.

DOESN'T MEANT THAT I AIN'T
GOT SHIT FOR YOU.

I NEED SOME MONEY,
MAMA GIRL. COME ON.

PLEASE. I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT I'LL DO.

I'LL LICK YOUR
WRINKLED ASS PUSSY
FOR $2.00.

I GOT WARTS
FROM THE LAST TIME

I LET YOU HAVE
TWO--TWO DOLLARS.

OH, SHIT. I WAS
DOING YOU A FAVOR.

WELL, FUCK YOU.

SHIT.

GET ON OUT OF HERE!

CHECK WHAT WE
GOT HERE.

MAN, THIS IS
A GOOD ONE, TOO.
LOOK AT THAT.

AH, YOU LIKE THAT?

GIVE ME MINE.

LITTLE MAN.
GO AHEAD, NOW.
GO AHEAD.

HERE, YOU CAN HAVE THAT.
PHONE COVER.

Black: HERE I GO,
SWEETCAKES.

HALF-HOUR LATE
AS USUAL.

BETTER LATE THAN
NEVER, YOU HEARD?

YEAH. CANDY MUSCLES
ARE GONNA HAVE TO
WORK DOUBLE-TIME TONIGHT.

YOU KNOW
I'M ABOUT DEAD.

HOPE YOU BROUGHT
THAT CHOCOLATE SAUCE.

MM-HMM.

YEAH.

YOU BRUNG
YOUR SWEETS, RIGHT?

MMM.

[BEEPING]

YO!

YO!

YO!

HURRY UP.

HURRY UP, BOY.
YOU'RE GOING
TOO SLOW, MAN.

COME ON.
COME ON. COME ON.

I CAN'T KEEP
UP WITH THEM.

HEY, TAKE IT EASY
WITH THOSE.

HEY, TAKE IT EASY
WITH THOSE.

THERE YOU GO.

Black: IT'S ALL ABOUT
BLACK AND BLUE

IN THE PROJECTS, BABY.

ENTREPRENEURS
IN THE GHETTO, YOU HEARD?

THANK YOU,
MR. GOLDSTEIN.

OF COURSE I'M
DELETING THE FILES.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE,
LISTEN UP.

THERE APPEARS TO BE
A GLITCH IN THE
COMPUTER SYSTEM.

OR MAYBE NOT.

YOU SEE,
OUR DEPARTMENT

IS THE ONLY ONE
AFFECTED.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW
IF THERE REALLY
IS A SURGE

IN THE UNAUTHORIZED
TRAFFIC ON THE
SOUTH SIDE,

BUT I'LL TELL YOU
ONE THING, PEOPLE--

I INTEND TO GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

NOW, I'M GONNA START
A FIELD INVESTIGATION,

AND I EXPECT YOU PEOPLE
TO STAY ON YOUR Ps AND Qs

BECAUSE I'LL BE WATCHING
EACH ONE OF YOU.

UNDERSTAND?

LORRAINE.

STOP THE PERSONAL CALLS.

WE'RE HERE TO WORK,
NOT SOCIALIZE.

THIS AIN'T NO
REGULAR PHONE.

SEE THAT MENU?

RIGHT THERE.
Y'ALL SEE THAT?

ALL RIGHT. Y'ALL
CAN ORDER STUFF.

LET ME HAVE
ONE HAMBURGER,
ONE FRIES.

RIGHT THERE,
ME AND YOU.

SEE THAT "IN"?
YOU CAN SEE
THAT "SENT."

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IT MEANS SENT.

SEND Y'ALL AWAY.
Y'ALL DON'T WANT
TO SPEND NO MONEY.

Y'ALL GO.
COME BACK TOMORROW.

NOBODY HERE.

I AM TIRED OF
DOING ALL THIS
STUFF MYSELF.

NOW YOU CAN CALL ME,
YOU HEARD?

OH!

HEY, MAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE--WE NEED
SOME HELP.

I'M TIRED, DAWG,
BUT WE GOT TO EXPAND
THIS BUSINESS

SOME KIND OF WAY.

THE THING WE NEED TO DO
IS GET SOME MORE RUNNERS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
MY COUSIN, MAN.

YOU KNOW, FAT ASS.

HE CAN COME OVER HERE
AND HELP US.

THINK WE CAN TRUST
YOUR COUSIN, DAWG?

BRO, THESE ARE PHONES.
THIS AIN'T FOOD.

BESIDES, MAN,
HE NEED TO EXERCISE.

Man: 6 MONTHS FREE
ACTIVATION.

HEY, I CAN HOOK IT UP.

LET A BROTHER KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING.

HEY, WHAT'S
HAPPENING?

ALL RIGHT,
CHECK IT OUT.

THIS FOR 100,
THIS FOR 150.

GO AROUND
THAT WAY, BRO,
LIKE THAT.

I GOT FREE ACTIVATION
FOR YOU STRAIGHT UP,
JUST LIKE THIS.

WHATEVER YOU WANT.
IN 6 MONTHS,
YOU CAN HAVE IT.

HERE'S MY BABY.

BIG BUSINESSMAN.

POOKIE, WE'RE SO
PROUD OF YOU,
SUGAR.

OH, GRANDMA.

SAY, COULD YOU
LAY 1,000
ON GRANDMA, OK?

COME ON NOW, GRANDMA.

I JUST GAVE YOU
$1,000 WHAT,
TWO DAYS AGO?

WELL, WHAT THE FUCK
IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

I HAD TO GET
MY HAIR FIXED
AND MY NAILS.

SHIT, YOU WANT ME
TO STYLE, DON'T YOU?

SHIT. WHAT THE--
WELL, THANK YOU,
BABY.

THANK YOU, MY ASS.

YOU PAY ME THAT BACK
WHEN YOU GET YOUR CHECK.

LISTEN, I RAISED YOU.
NOW DON'T COME TALKING
BACK TO ME,

OR I'LL WHIP YOUR BUNS,

LITTLE OLD SWEET THANG.

YOU WAS A BOOBY.

MMM.

BYE NOW.

BYE.

BE COOL.
ALL RIGHT.

117 NUMBERS IN ONE DAY?

I'M GONNA BE HERE FOREVER.

HEY, WHAT UP?

HEY.

HOW YOU DOING?
BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?

HEY, NICE PHONE.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

DID YOU GET THAT
BACK HERE IN THE SHOP
OR SOMETHING?

YOU KNOW BLACK AND BLUE?

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE
I COULD--

YOU GOT A PHONE?

DO YOU KNOW
BLACK AND BLUE?

I MEAN, THEY OWN
THIS PLACE.

[NO AUDIO]

SEE? SEE?
THE PHONE.

YOU KNOW THE BROTHERS?
YOU KNOW THE BROTHERS?

YOU KNOW WHERE
I COULD FIND THE GUYS?

ALL I'M ASKING, MAN,
DO YOU KNOW BLACK AND BLUE?

THEY RUN THE, UH...

YEAH, RIGHT.

[BEEPING]

OK, BLACK AND BLUE.
CELL PHONE HOOKUP.

SEE HOW YOU WORK.

HELLO. I WANT $40
WORTH OF SMOKE.

WHAT?

[STATIC]

[SPEAKING
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

I BEEN GETTING IT
FROM YOU FOR WEEKS.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE
GOING TO--WHAT?

I CAN'T HEAR SHIT.
WHAT--WHO--

[STATIC]

AAH!

THE PHONE'S
ALL FUCKED UP.

WHAT?

YOU GOT ANY REEFER?

WHO IS THIS?

WHO THE HELL
YOU THINK I AM?

I DON'T KNOW YOU.

I BEEN GETTING IT
FROM YOU FOR THE LOAN,

AND YOU BETTER GET ME
SOME SMOKE, MAN.

I'M NOT CALLING YOU.

DON'T YOU TALK TO ME
IF YOU AIN'T GOT
NO REEFER, MAN.

OH, YEAH?
WELL, FUCK YOU.

WELL, FUCK YOU, TOO.

EAT SHIT, TOO.

I GOT A DIAL PHONE.

I GOT TO PUSH
AUTOMATIC DIAL.

AAH!

I GOT PHONES FOR SALE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WHAT'S UP, MAN?
I GOT CELLULAR PHONES.

GIVE ME 10.
THEY'RE FOR ROSCOE.

ROSCOE?

DID I STUTTER,
YOU BIG FAT-ASS PUNK?

IT--
HEY.

GIVE ME YOUR
TOP OF THE LINE.

NONE OF THAT CHEAP STUFF
YOU BEEN SELLING
ON THE STREET.

IS--IS YOUR MONEY
GOOD?

YOU OUGHT TO SLAP YOURSELF
ASKING THAT QUESTION.

SLAP YOURSELF.

MR.--MR. T LAY--

HARDER.

HARDER!

NOW GET MY PHONE!

COME ON.
HURRY UP!

OK, MR. T-LAY. OK.
OK. OK.

COME ON. OVER HERE.

DON'T TOUCH
MY CAR, FOOL.

HELLO. MY MAMA WANT
HER MONEY BACK.

I'M NOT GONNA
GIVE YOU
THE MONEY BACK.

YOU DONE ATE
ONE OF THE PIG
FEET.

NO, WE DIDN'T.

LOOK HERE.
I GOT A MAGIC LAMP.

TELL YOUR MAMA SHE
GOT TO RUB THIS

EVERY WEDNESDAY
AT 3:42 STANDING
ON ONE LEG

WITH AL GREEN
IN THE BACKGROUND.

HER MONEY WILL
POP OUT.

AND TELL HER
TO TELL YOUR DADDY

TO BUY YOU
ANOTHER SHIRT.

HELLO! HELLO!

GIVE US SOMETHING
TO EAT, BABY.

I'M CLOSED.
I'M CLOSED.
WE CLOSED.

I'M HUNGRY, BLUE.
COME ON, MAN.

HERE YOU GO.
HERE'S PIG FEET.

I DON'T WANT NO
MOTHERFUCKING PIG FEET.

MAN, GIVE ME
SOMETHING TO EAT.

TOMATO SAUCE.

I DON'T WANT NO
MOTHERFUCKING
TOMATO SAUCE.

COME ON, BLUE, MAN.

YOU KNOW I AIN'T ATE
IN A WEEK.

[BOTH TALKING]

...SHOES ON MY DAMN FEET.

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT.
GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT.

FUCKER, HERE'S
A MAGIC WAND.

YOU TAKE IT,
RUB IT.

WHATEVER YOU
WISH FOR,
IT'LL COME TRUE.

OH, SO Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS
WANT TO BE FUNNY.

LISTEN UP, MOTHERFUCKERS.

I SWEAR I'M GONNA
KILL MYSELF.

BLACK, GIVE ME $5.00.

MAN--
YOU BETTER GIVE
ME $5.00,

OR I SWEAR
I'LL KILL MYSELF.

I'M POKING, MOTHERFUCKER.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU
TO GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE?

YOU BETTER GIVE ME $5.00.
COME HERE.

I'LL KILL ME
AND THIS BITCH.

POKE, POKE, POKE.

LET THAT
MOTHERFUCKER GO.

LET HER GO.
LET HER GO.

MOTHERFUCKER,
I'LL KILL MYSELF, MAN.

COME ON, BLACK, MAN.
GIVE ME $3.00, MAN.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S
CRAZY.

MAN, I'LL KISS THE TIP
OF YOUR SHOE.

GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE.

HEY, HEY, HEY!
GET OUT OF HERE.

GET UP OUT OF HERE.

MY FOOT'S
FUCKED UP.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU
TO GET OUT?

DON'T LET THIS
CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER

IN THE STORE
EVER AGAIN.

YOU'LL KISS IT
FOR 50 CENTS.

GET YOUR--

I AIN'T HAD NONE
IN A WHILE, NIGGA.

Women: ♪ WE DON'T CARE
IF THE PARTY DON'T STOP ♪

Man: ANDREW!
TURN THAT DAMN BOX
OFF, BOY!

ANDREW, LISTEN
TO YOUR FATHER.

TAKE A BATH FIRST.

NOW, SON, LOOK UNDER
THE CABINET

AND GET THAT HOLY
ANOINTING OIL

FROM THE HOME
BAPTISM KIT,

GET YOU A CUP
OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

YOU'VE GOT TO PURGE
THE BODY OF UNCLEANLINESS

BEFORE YOUR
BIBLE STUDY.

Father: PRAISE THE LORD.

Mother: SATAN KNOWS
WHAT'S DIRTY INSIDE.

MAKE SURE YOU SCRUB
REAL GOOD UNDER YOUR
LITTLE PEANUTS.

OF COURSE, MAMA.

Woman: ♪ YOU KNOW
YOU CAN'T RESIST ♪

♪ SO LET YOUR HEAD KNOCK
BACK AND LOOK FORWARD
TO THIS, MISS ♪

♪ BIGGEST MAMA WITH
THE DRAMA AND THE PRADA ♪

♪ PLATINUM REGATTA
AND MY ICE JUST GOTTA ♪

HA! WE WITH IT
WITH BIG BOY

DOING IT AT THE FRONT HERE.

WE GOT IT GOING ON
RIGHT HERE AT 106.

WE'RE HAVING CHEER. UH!

YEAH, WE DO IT OUT HERE.
WE'RE RIGHT QUICK.

IT'S KIND OF TIGHT.
I'M FEELING IT TODAY.

Women: ♪ BUT TONIGHT I JUST WANT
TO SET THE PARTY ON TOP ♪

♪ WIT' P AND THE ILL NA NA,
THE UNIFIED HIP HOP ♪

♪ MO' CHEDDA AS LONG AS
THE PARTY DON'T STOP ♪

♪ WE DON'T CARE
IF THE PARTY DON'T STOP ♪

♪ GOT NOTHING BUT TIME SO LET
THE BEAT KNOCK POP ♪

THAT'S MY JOINT
RIGHT THERE. YO.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

YEAH, YO, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK

AFTER THIS, Y'ALL,
UP TILL MIDNIGHT.

[SCARY MUSIC PLAYING]

Blue: MAN, FOR AN UGLY
MOTHERFUCKER,

T-LAY SURE KEEPS
SOME TIGHT HOS WITH HIM.

MAN, YOU'RE TRIPPING
ON SOME HOS.

YOU NEED TO BE WORRYING
ABOUT OUR PAPER.

OH, NIGGA,
I GOTS MONEY.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HOLD ON A SECOND.

HEY, WHAT'S UP, BITCH?

[GIBBERISH]

WHAT IS THAT?

WHOEVER'S ON THIS
PHONE I'M TALKING TO

IS A BITCH.

Man: BETTER WATCH HOW
THE FUCK YOU TALK TO ME.

T-Lay: THE ONLY PERSON
I'M COOL WITH IS ROSCOE,

AND EVERYBODY ELSE
IS BITCHING.

WHO THE FUCK
YOU THINK THIS IS?

OH, ROSCOE,
I'M SORRY, MAN.

I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT WAS YOU.

HEY, MAN, I'M THE BITCH.

Roscoe: YOU MUST HAVE
GOT A WRONG CONNECTION,

BECAUSE YOU CALLED
THE WRONG PERSON
BITCH, BITCH.

YOU MUST HAVE GOT
A FUCKED-UP CELL
PHONE OR SOMETHING.

Black: YOU HEAR THAT
STUPID SHIT THEY'RE
PLAYING ON THE RADIO?

MAN, THAT SOUND
LIKE ROSCOE.

Roscoe: BOY, WE GOT
A DROP COMING IN.

70 GRAND.
YOU GOT IT GOING ON.

HOMEBOY SAID
SOMETHING ABOUT
70 GRAND.

Roscoe: 4 PACES, UP
7 ROWS BACK, TOP LOCKER.

DON'T FORGET.
YOU BETTER HURRY UP
BECAUSE I'M GOING.

Woman: ROWS BACK.
THE DUDE SAID
7 ROWS BACK.

IF YOUR MAMA HAD
TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CLEAN

THE GODDAMN WAX
OUT OF YOUR EAR,

MAYBE YOU COULD HEAR.

BITCH, NOBODY TALKS
ABOUT BIG MAMA.
YOU'RE LUCKY.

YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU'RE IN FRONT
OF ALL THESE PEOPLE.

REMIND ME
WHEN WE GET HOME
TO WHUP YOUR ASS.

I'M GONNA WHUP YOUR
MOTHERFUCKING ASS.

YEAH, YEAH. ANYWAY.

I'M NOT GOING NOPLACE
BEING NAKED.

THAT'S CRAZY, MAN.
GET OFF OF ME.

MAN, YOU HEAR WHAT
THE FUCK IS ON THE RADIO?

DON'T YOU SEE I'M
TRYING TO HANDLE
MY FUCKING BUSINESS?

MAN, DON'T EXPECT ME
TO EXPLAIN THAT SHIT
TO ROSCOE.

I'M TALKING TO ROSCOE.

YOU NEED TO TELL HIM
SHIT FUCKED UP.

WE CAN HEAR YOU
ON THE RADIO.

HEY, ROSCOE.

GONNA HAVE TWO FUCKED-UP.
HEAR ME, T-LAY?

HEY, DAWG. SHH. I WANT YOU
TO SLOW YOUR ROLL, MAN.

EVERYBODY CAN HEAR US.

MAN, I DON'T GIVE
A DAMN IF THE PRESIDENT
CAN HEAR ME.

YOU BETTER TAKE CARE
OF MY 70 GRAND,

OR YOU'LL TAKE ONE OF
THEM LONG TRIPS OVER
THE CONSTRUCTION YARD, BOY.

ROSCOE?

[CLICK]

RRRR.

[SHOUTING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Blue: YEAH.

HEY, BLUE.
HEY, MAN, WE GOT
PROBLEMS.

WHO IS THIS? FAT ASS?
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE'VE PROBABLY SET OFF
THE BIGGEST TREASURE HUNT

SINCE THE GOLD RUSH, MAN.

HEY, WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

T-LAY'S CONVERSATION
GOT OUT WITH ROSCOE

ON POWER 106 TODAY.

IT'S THEM RAGGEDY-ASS
CELL PHONES.

ROSCOE TOLD T-LAY
TO PICK UP 70 GRAND

IN AN UNGUARDED LOCKER.

Blue: WHERE?

HE DIDN'T SAY.

PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY
LOOKING EVERYWHERE.

Blue: SHIT, MAN.
ME AND BLACK'S ASS
GONNA BE IN TROUBLE.

[SHOUTING]

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN,
DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN,
DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!

4 PACES IN, TOP LOCKER.

HOLY SHIT.

YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, ROSCOE, YEAH.

BLACK AND BLUE
ARE DEAD MEAT.

I PROMISE I'LL PERSONALLY
TAKE CARE OF IT.

I'M GONNA PUT THEM
TO SLEEP FOREVER.

Roscoe: DON'T MAKE ME
MAKE AN EXAMPLE
OUT OF YOU, T-LAY.

HEY, DAWG, IF YOU
GONNA HIT THE BAG, HIT IT!

UH!

YES.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OOH!

HI, CANDY MUSCLE.

WHAT'S UP,
CANDY LORRAINE?

UH UH UH UH UH.
NOT SO FAST.

I WANT TO SAVOR
EACH AND EVERY MOMENT.

I THOUGHT YOU
WAS READY.

MM-HMM. RED
OR WHITE WINE?

RED LIKE YOUR
PRETTY LIPS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHO THE HELL
IS THAT?

ARE YOU EXPECTING
SOMEBODY?

NO.

BLACK?

IT'S BLUE.

WELL, OPEN THE DOOR.

FUCK, NO.

STOP TRIPPIN'.

WHAT'S UP, DAWG?

YO, DAWG, WE GOT TO
DISAPPEAR.

NOW, CANDY MUSCLE'S
NOT LEAVING.
A DEAL IS A DEAL.

FUCK THAT, MAN.
ROSCOE GOT A
CONTRACT OUT ON US.

LET'S GO.

HOLD ON, MAN.
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT--
CONTRACT?

THE CELL PHONE,
THE 70 GRAND.

POWER 106 PLAYED IT
ON THE RADIO.

EVERYBODY HEARD IT.

MAN, YOU SURE YOUR MIND
AIN'T PLAYING TRICKS
ON YOU, DAWG?

DO I LOOK LIKE
BUSHWICK?

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S A WHOLE NOTHER
THING NOW.

OVER THE RADIO?
THIS COULD BRING
IN THE FCC

AND WHO KNOWS
WHAT ELSE?

Black: Y'ALL SLOW DOWN.
THIS SHIT AIN'T THAT
SERIOUS YET.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S UP.

Blue: RIGHT.
WE GOT TO LAY LOW
SOMEWHERE

FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

I'VE GOT
IT COVERED.

[BEEP]

[WHIRRING]

OH, SHIT.

WRONG ONE.
SORRY, GUYS.

WHAT?

YOU AND I WILL DEAL
WITH THAT LATER.

YEAH, WE SURE IS GONNA
HANDLE THIS LATER.

THAT GODDAMN GIRL
IS A FREAK.

YOU NASTY PERVERT.

I'M GONNA OPEN
THIS AGAIN.

WAS THAT CHOCOLATE--
DID I SEE DEVIL'S
CHOCOLATE?

WHAT IS THIS?
A BAT CAVE?

YEAH. THIS IS HOW
I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU
AND WHAT'S HER NAME.

YEAH, RIGHT.

OH, SHIT.

MY OFFICE ORDERED
A SEARCH ON HIS FILES.

I KNEW MY BOSS
WAS GETTING SUSPICIOUS.

THE BOY'S BEEN CRAWLING
UP MY ASS.

CAN'T YOU JUST
ERASE EVERYTHING

AND TURN
THE PHONES OFF

SO IT WON'T COME
BACK TO US?

NOW, HOLD ON, BLUE.

IF SHE DO THAT,
IT'S GONNA GET RID
OF ALL OUR CUSTOMERS.

WE CAN'T DO THAT.

IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

WE NEED TO FIND
LITTLE BROTHER

AND GET THAT
BLACK BOX.

MAN, FORGET LITTLE
BROTHER.

WE NEED TO CHILL OUT.

LOOK, LET ME
HANDLE THIS HERE,

AND YOU GET READY FOR ME.

AND YOU GET READY
FOR THE COUCH.

COUCH. I AIN'T
SLEEPING ON
NO COUCH.

I'M SLEEPING
IN THE BED
WITH HER.

WHAT?

I SAID I NEED
A PILLOW
FOR THE COUCH.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

YOU KNOW YOUR CANDY
MUSCLE HERE FOR YOU.

HMM.

YOU JUST KEEP DOING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

[CHUCKLES]

AND I'M GONNA BE
RIGHT THERE IN THE BED
WAITING ON YOU.

Blue: WE AIN'T
GOT TIME FOR
THAT SHIT.

LET'S GO.
WE GOT TO GET
SOME SLEEP, MAN.

SHE AIN'T DOING
NOTHING BUT PLAYING
YOU ANYWAY.

I'LL BE
ON THE COUCH.

Man: ♪ YOU KNOW, I KNOW

♪ IT'S GONNA BE GOOD, GIRL

♪ I CAN FEEL YOUR WATER
STREAMING DOWN ALL AROUND ♪

♪ HERE'S MY LOVE

♪ AM I QUALIFIED IN YOUR EYES?

♪ I CAN FEEL MYSELF DEEPER,
DEEPER INSIDE ♪

♪ PUSHING IN
YOUR BODY ♪

♪ OH, LAY YOU
BY MY SIDE ♪

♪ I'LL LET YOU
LIGHT MY FIRE ♪

♪ I CAN SEE IT
IN YOUR EYES ♪

Blue: YEAH, BUT THEY
GONNA PUT ME ON FRIES,

AND THAT'S WHEN I'LL
BE STARTING TO MAKE
THE BIG BUCKS.

MAN. UH-HUH.

I'M GONNA HOOK YOU UP
WITH THAT TWO-PIECE DINNER

WHEN I GET OVER THERE.

SAY, BLUE? BLUE.

WHAT THE HELL?
YOU WAS HAVING A NIGHTMARE
OR A WET DREAM, FOOL.

WIPE YOUR FACE.

LET'S GO GET THAT
BLACK BOX YOU WAS
TALKING ABOUT, MAN.

Y'ALL DONE, MAN?

Black: YEAH.

DID YOU BLOW OUT
THEM CANDLES?

BOY, YOU'RE A FOOL.

THINK THAT BITCH KNOW
VOODOO OR SOMETHING, MAN.

Blue: BRO, WHAT WAS UP
WITH YOU LAST NIGHT, MAN?

Black: MAN,
STAY OUT OF
MY BEDROOM.

DAWG, I HEARD YOU
IN THE ROOM STRAIGHT
CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.

"MAMA, SPANK ME!"

GIRL DID YOU LAST
NIGHT, HUH?

THESE NUTS.

HA HA HA!

IF YOU WENT LOCKING
THEM UP AND PUT
HANDCUFFS ON BITCHES,

MAYBE THAT WOULD
BE ENOUGH FOR A NIGGA.

Black: SO YOU'RE SAYING
I'M HOGGING SOME BITCHES?

I'M SAYING YOU PLANT
SEEDS ON A MOTHERFUCKER.

COME ON.
I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT.
COME ON.

YEAH. HUH?

AH! WAH! AH!

WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.

AAAH!

I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS.

AAH!

COME ON.

COME ON. HUH?

LET ME TIE MY SHOE UP.
WAIT A MINUTE.

GET 'EM UP.
GET 'EM UP.

GET UP. GET UP. GET UP.

Men: ♪ WE GOT WHAT YOU NEED

♪ FROM HEROIN TO WEED

♪ BENZES TO ROVERS,
HOOPTIES TO NOVAS ♪

♪ BEEPERS TO SPEAKERS

♪ PISTOLS TO BITCHES

♪ ALL ABOUT OUR FIGURES WITH
THE HOOK UP FOR YOU NIGGAS ♪

♪ WE GOT WHAT YOU NEED

♪ FROM HEROIN TO WEED

♪ BENZES TO ROVERS...

WAH! WAH! WAH!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
TAKE A LOOK. TAKE A LOOK.

AGH.

COME ON, BLUE.

AGH!

♪ THERE'S NO LIMIT
TO THE SHIT I MOVE ♪

♪ FUCK IT, IF IT'S HOT

BITCH!

[SHOUTING]

YO, MR. MIMS?

OPEN THE DOOR!

[SHOUTING]

WHO IS IT?

US, MOTHERFUCKER!

IT'S BLACK AND BLUE!

NO, NO, NO.
UH-UH.

COME ON, MR. MIMS!

GET AWAY FROM
AROUND HERE.

COME ON, MAN.
COME ON.

WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM, BOYS?

WE JUST GOT SHOT AT.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SHOOT BACK?

HEY, COME ON.

Blue: OPEN
THE GODDAMN DOOR!

ALL RIGHT. NOW,
Y'ALL GOT TO CALL.

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL?

WE TRIED TO CALL,
BUT OUR PHONES BROKE.

STAND RIGHT OVER THERE.

WHERE'D YOU GET
ALL THESE GODDAMN

RAGGLY-ASS TVs?

FROM THE BACK OF
YOUR DAMN VAN

OR WHEREVER YOU SELL
THOSE DAMN TVs.

ALL THESE ARE FROM
YOUR CUSTOMERS.

Blue: WHAT'S THAT I SMELL?

THERE ARE SOME RULES
AND REGULATIONS IN HERE.

LISTEN TO ME.

Y'ALL STAY OUT
OF MY BUSINESS,
ALL RIGHT?

STAY OUT OF
MY BUSINESS.
LET'S GO.

...FUCKING?

I AIN'T FUCKING.
WHAT YOU MEAN,
FUCKING?

I HOPE YOUR ASS AIN'T
HAVING NO FUN, BOY.

I'M HAVING
A LOT OF FUN.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

A WHOLE LOT
OF FUN.
COME ON IN HERE.

Blue: OH, SHIT.
THEY'RE NAKED!

WHOO!
HA HA!

BITCH. GOT TO SHARE
MY FUCKING PUSSY.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OH, DAMN!

THIS MOTHERFUCKER
BEEN HOLDING OUT.

OH. THERE'S MORE
THAN TVs IN THIS
MOTHERFUCKER HERE.

SHIT!

WE'RE IN PARADISE,
BLUE.

IT'S LIKE
TITTY HEAVEN.

WHY, THANK YOU.

BOY, YOUR UNCLE
IS A PLAYER,
PLAYER, PLAYER.

NOW THERE'S SOME
RULES AND REGULATIONS
IN HERE--HANDS OFF.

HANDS OFF?
THE ONLY THING
I AIN'T GONNA TOUCH

IS YOU TWO
MOTHERFUCKERS.

YOU BETTER BE LUCKY
WE CAME.

YOUR OLD ASS
PROBABLY GONNA CATCH
A HEART ATTACK.

LEAVE THEM
PRETTY WOMEN ALONE!

ME AND BLUE PROBABLY
GONNA SAVE YOUR LIFE.

SAVE MY LIFE?
MY LIFE DON'T NEED SAVING.

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
FOR 20 YEARS.

YEAH. YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T
GET IT UP LIKE YOU USED TO.

YES, I CAN.

I GOT A HARD-ON
RIGHT NOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
THEY'VE BEEN DOGGING ME

ABOUT THIS CREDIT SHIT.

THAT'S OK.
WE AIN'T LIKE SEARS.

BUT IF YOU DON'T PAY
YOUR BILL WITH US,

WE BREAK IN YOUR HOUSE
AND TAKE OUR SHIT BACK.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TROUBLE
GETTING IT.

NEXT!

HEY. WHAT'S UP?
WHAT IT IS.

SORRY. WE ARE CLOSED.

AW, SUGAR SHORTS,
WHY YOU WANT TO

TREAT A BROTHER
LIKE THAT?
CLOSED.

ALL I WANT
TO KNOW IS

WHO'S IN CHARGE
OF THESE
CELLULAR PHONES?

BECAUSE I'M GONNA
BRING THEM
SOME BUSINESS,

YOU UNDERSTAND?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
A LOT OF BUSINESS.

YOU SEE YOU?
I DON'T LIKE

YOUR TWISTED-ASS KIND.

NOW WHY YOU WANT
TO COME AT ME
LIKE THAT?

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
ME, BABY.

OH, YES.
I KNOW YOU.

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE
THE SAME TWISTED-ASS

THAT HANDCUFFED ME
3 YEARS AGO.

UH! GET YOUR POLICE ASS
UP AND STEP.

OH, YOU GONNA
DUST ME?

STEP!

A-BEE-BA-DEE--
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!

DAMN.

SHIT!

POLICE-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.
HE GOT ME FUCKED UP

IF HE THINK I DON'T
KNOW WHO HE IS.

BLACK AND BLUE,
WHERE THE FUCK
Y'ALL NIGGAS AT?

DON'T SAY A FUCKING THING.

HOW ELSE MAY I
HELP YOU?

HEY. THIS IS
AN ARMED ROBBERY.

GIVE IT UP, BITCH.

COME ON, RAINBOW BRITE.
GIVE ME THIS
MOTHERFUCKING MONEY.

HERE, NINJA TURTLE.
HERE, HERE.

FUCK UP ALL
IN MY FACE.

YOU THINK A MOTHERFUCKER
PLAYING WITH YOU, HUH?

WHERE THE REST
OF THE FUCKING MONEY AT?

WE GONNA DO THIS SHIT
TILL YOU GET IT RIGHT.

YOU COST ME 70 GRAND.

I DIDN'T COST YOU
A MOTHERFUCKING
THING.

YOU NEED TO MAKE
YOURSELF COST YOU
A NEW EYE.

OH, THIS BITCH
TALKING SHIT.

LET ME DO THIS, MAN.
LET ME GO! LET ME DO IT.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

IF I WAS
A FUCKING NIGGA,

Y'ALL WOULDN'T BE
DOING ME THIS,

YOU OLD FUCKING
PUSSY-ASS NIGGAS.

Y'ALL MAKE ME SICK.

COME ON!

SCARY-ASS
MOTHERFUCKERS,

I'M GONNA BRING
THE PROJECT
TO Y'ALL.

HURRY THE FUCK UP!FILL THAT BAG UP!

STUPID
MOTHERFUCKERS,
TAKE IT.

BUY YOURSELF A NEW EYE,
YOU CRIPPLE-EYED BITCH.

FUCKING 6'5" MOTHERFUCKER
GOT MY HEAD HURTING.

MM-HMM.

HEY, HEY, SAILOR.

YOU GOT A LIGHT?

UH, I THINK I DO.

SO, SAILOR,
YOU LOOKING
FOR A GOOD TIME?

WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'M NOT A SAILOR.

I'M THE HEAD OF
THE FRAUD DEPARTMENT
AT CELLULAR TWO.

I'M CONDUCTING
AN INVESTIGATION IN
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

TRYING TO GET
INFORMATION ON THOSE
CELLULAR PHONES

THAT HAVE BEEN
GOING AROUND.

MORE LIKE
CELLULAR WALKIE TALKIES

IF YOU ASK ME.

OOH. BABY, WAIT TILL
I GET MY TALONS
ON THAT BLACK AND BLUE.

BLACK AND BLUE, HUH?

MM-HMM.
AND THAT LORRAINE.

LORRAINE
FROM CELLULAR TWO?

OH, NO.

DID I GET THEM
IN TROUBLE?

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

ME AND MY BIG MOUTH.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S OK.

THIS IS JUST
A PRELIMINARY
INVESTIGATION.

BESIDES, I NEVER
GIVE UP MY SOURCES.

YOU'RE SO BRAVE.

HEH HEH. NOT REALLY.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME...

YOU BIG--HMM--
STRONG MAN?

DALTON.
WHAT'S YOURS?

WELL, EVERYBODY
AROUND HERE CALLS ME...

TOOTSIE...POP...

BECAUSE BY THE TIME THEY
GET TO MY SWEET CENTER,

NOBODY KNOWS HOW MANY
LICKS IT TOOK
TO GET THERE.

TOOTSIE POP.
THAT'S PRETTY.

YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE
AND HAVE A TALK?

OK.

YOU'RE A BIG GIRL.

HA HA! YOU LIKE
THAT, HUH?

HA HA HA!

OH. THIS JUST AIN'T
MY DAY AT ALL.

HEY. I GOT
A HEADACHE
FROM MY PHONE.

AND WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO ABOUT IT?

WHERE ARE THOSE
MOTHERFUCKERS, HUH?

I GOT YOUR MOTHERFUCKERS.
I GOT YOUR MOTHERFUCKERS
RIGHT HERE,

YOU LITTLE TACO!

!¡ARRIBA! !ARRIBA!
!¡AÁNDALE! !¡AÁNDALE!

SHIT!

AAH! AAH!

[GUNSHOTS]

!¡AÁNDALE!

BITCH-ASS FOOL!

I'LL PUT YOUR
MOTHERFUCKING TIRES OUT.

LORRAINE,
MY OFFICE NOW.

CLOSE THE DOOR!

LOOK. I CAN EXPLAIN.

LOOK. I'VE BEEN
TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I KNOW WHAT WENT ON.

THIS IS
A FEDERAL OFFENSE,
LORRAINE.

I TRUSTED YOU!

HOW COULD
YOU DO THIS
TO THE COMPANY, HUH?

YOU'RE FIRED!

FINE.

I'M GONNA FIND YOU,
BLACK AND BLUE.

IT SURE IS
HARD BEING
A BUSINESSMAN.

K.C. and the Sunshine Band:
♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN

♪ THAT'S WHAT I AM

♪ I'M HERE TO

♪ DO WHATEVER I CAN

♪ BE IT EARLY MORNING

♪ LATE AFTERNOON

♪ I WANT TO BE YOUR

♪ BE YOUR RUBBER BALL

♪ I WANT TO BE THE ONE

♪ YOU LOVE MOST OF ALL

♪ OH, YEAH

♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN,
I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ♪

♪ TURN ME ON

♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN,
I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ♪

♪ DO WHAT YOU WANT

♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN,
I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ♪

♪ TURN ME ON

♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN,
I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ♪

♪ DO WHAT YOU WANT

♪ I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN

♪ THAT'S WHAT I AM...

BLACK AND BLUE.

WHY THEY CALL
YOU BLACK?

SHIT, NIGGA.
BECAUSE I GOT

THE SWEETEST BERRIES
IN THE GHETTO.

AND WHY DO THEY
CALL HIM BLUE?

GIRL, BECAUSE HE LIKE
TO WEAR BLUE.

YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE
NO ROCKET SCIENTISTS
TO SEE THAT.

Blue: HEY, YO, MAN,
I THINK THIS HIDING OUT

DONE TURNED OUT
ALL RIGHT.

I'M FUCKING ONE
OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS

BEFORE I LEAVE.

♪ COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND

[POLICE RADIO SQUAWKING]

DAMN. IT'S A GHOST TOWN
AROUND HERE.

WHERE EVERYBODY AT?

HEY.
SHIT!

COME HERE.

WHAT YOU WANT, MAN?

WE WANT TO TALK
TO YOU FOR A SEC.

WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

PUT YOUR HANDS UP.
PUT YOUR HANDS UP.

WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS.
CALM DOWN.

YEAH, RIGHT.

GOT ANY WEAPONS,
MAN?

HEY, PARTNER.
LOOK AT THIS.

AH. YOU THINK YOU'RE
ABOVE THE LAW, HUH?

THAT AIN'T MINE.

BULLSHIT THAT
AIN'T YOURS.

GIVE ME THAT
HAND, MAN.

AIN'T A MILLION OF YOU NOW,
HUH, MOTHERFUCKER.

WE GOT A PLACE
FOR YOU.

I AIN'T DONE--LET'S GO.

WHERE THE HELL YOU
THINK FAT BOY
GOT THEM?

DAMN. MAMA GONNA
KICK MY ASS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

Woman on radio: ALL
AVAILABLE UNITS, PROCEED
TO 7046 KREBS AVENUE.

WE HAVE A DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
AT THAT ADDRESS.

KREBS AVENUE?
ISN'T THAT
YOUR ADDRESS?

SHIT!

PROBABLY ALREADY
FUCKING MY POPS.

SHUT UP, YOU
CHUNKY MOTHERFUCKER!

MAN--MAN, RELAX--
RELAX, MAN.

SHIT FOR BRAINS.
LET'S GO.

[SIREN]

LET'S GO!

COME ON.
IT'S MY FUCKING WIFE
IN THERE.

COME ON, COME ON.

GO!

[WOMAN MOANING]

OHH. HAVE MERCY ON ME.

HAVE MERCY ON ME.
HAVE--

MARTHA!

IT'S NOT WHAT
IT SEEMS, HONEY.

HONEY, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU THINK.

SHE'S THE FREAK!

SWEETHEART.

HER! SHE'S THE FREAK!

WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON HERE, MAN?

SHUT UP, MAN.
JUST SHUT UP!

YOU'RE ALL MINE,
MAN.

FUCK YOU!

AAH!

AAH!

YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN A MAN.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN A MAN.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN A MAN.

AAH! AAH!

NICE TO FINALLY
MEET YOU.

DAMN GUN'S JAMMED!

I GUESS I'LL KNOCK
HIM OUT.

HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!

[GUNSHOTS]

BANG, BANG,
BANG, BANG, BANG!

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

THANK YOU, BABY.
COME HERE.

BANG, BANG!
BANG, BANG, BANG!

DRINK UP.

COME ON NOW.
LET'S SEE.

YOU AIN'T GOT
NOTHING LEFT BUT
THEM LITTLE PANTIES.

7! 7! BLUE!

COME ON, BABY.
TAKE THEM OFF.

TAKE THEM OFF.TAKE IT OFF.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, SHIT!

Mims: WHO THE HELL IS THAT
BANGING ON MY DAMN DOOR?

MAN, YOU TELL ANYONE
WHERE WE WAS AT?

DAMN. I AIN'T
TALKED TO ANYONE.

SHIT!

YOU GOT A THING UNDER THERE
THAT'S GONNA GET COLD.

Lorraine:
MR. MIMS, HELLO?

MR. MIMS?

BLACK, IS THAT YOU?

BLACK, I CAN
SEE YOU.
OPEN THE DOOR!

IS THAT YOU,
HONEY LEGS?

WHAT YOU OUT THERE
MAKING ALL THAT NOISE FOR?

COME IN, BABY.

IS THIS WHERE YOU
BEEN ALL THIS TIME?

EVERYONE HAS BEEN
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

IT'S ALL GOOD, BABY.
WHAT YOU TRIPPING ON?

Blue: OH, NOW, BABY!
TAKE THAT SHIT OFF.
TAKE IT OFF!

WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?

THAT'S BLUE BACK THERE
WATCHING ONE OF THOSE
NASTY MOVIES.

COME ON.
OH, YEAH?

WELL, YOU JUST
BETTER TELL HIM

THAT HIS GRANDMOTHER
WANTS ANOTHER GRAND,

AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR CELLULAR?

EVERYONE'S BEEN
TRYING TO REACH YOU.

TAKE IT ALL OFF!

IT'S BROKE, BABY.
COME HERE.

STOP TRIPPING.YEAH, I BET.

ANYWAYS, T-LAY
ROBBED LOLA MAE,

AND ANDREW
GOT ARRESTED,

AND I LOST--

YOU LOST WHAT?

I LOST MY JOB!

WHAT YOU TRIPPING ON?

I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO
HIDE SOMETHING BACK THERE!

I DON'T HAVE
NOTHING TO HIDE.

YEAH, RIGHT!

WHAT YOU--

YEAH. BLACK,
YOU MOTHERFUCKER,

I KNEW YOU HADN'T
CHANGED!

Mims: YOU WASN'T
INVITED IN HERE.

NEITHER WERE YOU!

WELL, CAN'T GET
NO WORSER THAN THIS.

SHIT.

GENTLEMEN, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'RE AWARE

OF THE GRAVITY
OF THIS SITUATION,

BUT THE VERY EXISTENCE
OF AMERICA'S COMMUNICATION
SYSTEM IS AT STAKE HERE.

UH, HAVE A SEAT,
GENTLEMEN.

YES, SIR.
THANK YOU, SIR.

NOW UNCLE DALTON--
DALTON HERE IS

WITH THE FRAUD DEPARTMENT
OF CELLULAR TWO,

AND HIS INVESTIGATION
HAS BEEN MOST HELPFUL.

I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT
I'M VERY HAPPY TO BE
OF ASSISTANCE.

AHEM. NOW--

AND THE INFORMATION
HE'S PROVIDED

IS IN THE BRIEFS
YOU'VE RECEIVED.

I WANT YOU TWO BOYS
TO GO PICK UP LITTLE--

UM, I WANT TO
GET THIS RIGHT--

UH, BRODER,
LITTLE BRODER.

I WANT YOU TO INTERROGATE
HIS BURGLARIZING ASS

TO THE Nth DEGREE.

NOW THESE TWO CHARACTERS...

BLACK AND BLUE,

WE SUSPECT THAT THEY ARE
THE MASTER CRIMINALS

BEHIND ALL THIS,

BUT WE DON'T WANT TO
ALERT THEM TO THE FACT
THAT WE'RE ON TO THEM.

NOT JUST YET.

Man: THIS IS WHAT
THE FBI's ALL ABOUT, JAMES,

HIGH-TECH SURVEILLANCE.

I LOVE IT.

HEY. HERE'S OUR MAN.

WHO THE FUCK ARE--
MAN, WHO THE FUCK ARE YA'LL?

MAN, WHO THE FUCK
ARE YOU, MAN?

WHAT THE FUCK
GOING ON, MAN?

TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND.
STAY TURNED AROUND.

LET'S GO.

YOU ALWAYS FUCKING
WITH A NIGGA, MAN.

WHAT I DO? I DIDN'T
DO A FUCKING
THING, MAN.

5 MORE MINUTES,
AND I WOULD HAVE
BEEN IN THERE

WAXING THAT ASS!

NIGGA, YOU COULD
HAVE HAD 5 WEEKS--

[TIRES SQUEALING]

IT'S T-LAY
AND HIS GANG. RUN!

[YELLING]

YO, 3 MORE!

COME ON, MAN!
LET'S ROLL.

YEAH! WE BEHIND YOU, BOY!

BLUE, WHERE YOU AT?

OVER HERE!

GET THEM FUCKS,
MOTHERFUCKER!

I GOT BLACK,
I GOT BLACK.

COME ON! COME ON!

WHAT'S ALL THIS
BULLSHIT?

Blue: HOLD ON.
HOLD ON.

LOOK AT THAT,
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK, LOOK.

OVER THERE. LOOK, LOOK.

HYAH! HYAH!

WHAT? YOU'RE NOT
SCARED OF ME?
I'M T-LAY, FOOL.

NO. I AIN'T
SCARED OF YOU.
COME ON.

YOU WANT SOME
OF THIS HERE?

LET ME GO! AAH!

[YELLING]

LIKE THAT, HUH?

GET HIM.
GET HIM, MAN!

MOTHERFUCKER,
YOU GET HIM.

Black: Y'ALL
WANT SOME, TOO?

WHAT'S HAPPENING?
SAY WHAT YOU
GONNA DO.

COME ON.

WOOOAAOW!

LOOK WHO THE FUCK BACK.
OH, YOU WANT SOME MORE NOW?

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
WANT TO FIGHT?

I'LL FIGHT YOU.

HYAH! HYAH!
HYAH!

HYAH! HYAH!

WHAT Y'ALL DOING?

[WHOOPING]

I'M GONNA BEAT
YOUR LITTLE ASS.

AAH! AAH!

THIS WANT YOU WANT?
HERE, HERE, HERE.

UNH!

DAMN. T-LAY DOWN.

PUNK BITCH!

OH, FUCK!
T-LAY!

COME ON, MAN.
STAND UP.

HE WHUPPED
YOUR BIG ASS.

T-Lay: HEY, MAN.
WHO WON?

NOT YOU,
MOTHERFUCKER.

LISTEN, YOU LITTLE
MOTHERFUCKER.

WE GOT YOUR
GODDAMN FINGERPRINTS
ON THAT CHECK!

JAMES, JAMES.
JAMES!

UGH!

LOOK. UM, I DON'T
KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER
I CAN CONSTRAIN HIM,

AND QUITE FRANKLY,
I DON'T KNOW
IF I WANT TO.

MAN, FUCK, BOTH
OF Y'ALL.

I'M NOT TELLING YOU
TWO DOUGHNUT-EATING

CRACKER
MOTHERFUCKERS
NOTHING!

FUCK YOU, PRICK!

JAMES!

OH, SHIT. UH-OH.

WHAT THE FUCK
IS THIS?

NO!

HUH?

OH, OH. UNH!

AT LEAST HE'S
KNOCKED OUT.

IF YOU WOULD HAVE
PUT THE MASK ON
LIKE I TOLD YOU,

WE WOULDN'T HAVE
THIS PROBLEM!

I PUT THE MASK ON
EXACTLY THE WAY
YOU TOLD ME.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT
FUCKED IT UP.

WELL, IF YOU WEREN'T
SUCH A HOTHEAD!

I'M A HOT--I'M...

ERR!

YOU IDIOT!
10 YEARS IN THE SERVICE

IS ALL MESSED UP
BECAUSE OF YOU!

I DIDN'T FUCK
ANYTHING UP!

THIS WAS YOUR
STUPID IDEA!

I KNEW THIS SHIT
WOULDN'T WORK.

OHH!

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

NOTHING, NOTHING.

JUST A LITTLE
SCUFFLE
BETWEEN FRIENDS.

I GOT TO GET
TO THE CARPOOL.

ALL RIGHT.
BYE, SIR.

SHIT.

[GROANS]

OH, MY HEAD. SHIT.

Man: HEY, CAN I GET SOME
ATTENTION IN HERE?

I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD.
I SHALL NOT WANT.

GOD HELP US.
HOLY FATHER.

BESIDE THE STILL WATERS.

HE RESTORES MY--OHH!

THOUGH I WALK
THROUGH THE VALLEY...

THAT'S
THE HOLY WORD.

I KNOW YOU'RE
FAMILIAR WITH THAT.

FEAR NO EVIL.

THAT'S MY WALLET,
AND I KNOW HOW MUCH
MONEY I GOT, TOO.

THAT DEVIL ROD!

PREPARING THE TABLE
BEFORE ME...

UH, THAT'S MY
HOLY OIL FOR
SATANIC SPIRITS.

LET ME HAVE THAT.

THAT'S
FOR MY GLAUCOMA.

I HAVE
A PRESCRIPTION
FOR THAT.

NOW YOU DONE HAD
MY PURSE LONG
ENOUGH, HONEY.

GIVE IT HERE.

[BEEP]

WHERE'S MY SON?

MY SON BACK HERE.

I'M READY
FOR THEM.

BACK UP, SATAN.

BIND YOU DOWN
TO THE LAKE OF FIRE.

I'M NOT SCARED
OF THEM,

NONE OF THEM.

DISAPPEAR, DEMONS,
ALL OF YOU.

CRACK CREATURES.
LOOK AT THEM.

BITCH, I'M CRAZY!

YOU MAMA!

THROW YOU DOWN
IN THAT DEEP, DARK PIT

FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.

BIND YOU DOWN!

DISAPPEAR, DEMONS!

I GOT TO SPRINKLE
ALL OF YOU,

ALL OF YOU.

CHAKA KHAN,
CHAKA KHAN!

GET AWAY
FROM MY BOY!

THAT'S MY BABY.

WHAT'S THE DEACON
GONNA THINK, HOWARD?

I'LL NEVER GET THAT
MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD.

PROBABLY GIVE IT
TO SISTER WANDA AGAIN.

THAT BITCH.

SHIT. OHH.

Andrew: MAMA, WATCH OUT
FOR LITTLE BROTHER.

OHH!

YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE DECIDED

TO INCREASE
YOUR BIBLE STUDY

TO 8 TIMES A WEEK,

AND YOU WILL NO LONGER
BE ALLOWED

TO GO BACK FOR SECONDS
ON THE COMMUNION CRACKERS.

OH, MAMA.

OH, I AIN'T
THROUGH YET.

YOU WILL POLISH ALL
THE DEACON'S FURNITURE,

AND YOU ARE GROUNDED
TO YOUR ROOM.

FOR--FOR HOW LONG?

YOU AIN'T COMING OUT!

BETTY, HOLD ALL MY CALLS.

I GIVE YOU TWO
AN ASSIGNMENT,

A SIMPLE ASSIGNMENT,

AND WHAT DO I GET?

A SUSPECT LOST
IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM,

AND YOU TWO NOWHERE
TO BE FOUND.

YOU TWO HAVE
ONE MORE CHANCE.

YES, SIR.

THAT WILL BE ALL,
GENTLEMEN.

AND NO MORE SCREW-UPS!

HOW YOU DO THAT THERE.

SO, BLACK.WHAT, MAN?

EITHER YOU AND BLUE
STUPID,

OR Y'ALL GOT TO BE
THE CRAZIEST NIGGAS
I KNOW

IF YOU THINK YOU'RE
JUST GONNA WALK UP
IN ROSCOE'S SPOT

AND PUT
THE MATCH DOWN,

AIN'T GONNA BE
NO PROBLEM.

MAN, DID I ASK
FOR A SPEECH, DAWG?

I JUST NEED
SOME GUNS.

YOUR MONEY, YOUR LIFE.

SHIT. THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.

GOT THE GUN
AND THE KEYS
TO OUR RIDE.

HA HA HA!
THAT AIN'T YOU.

WHAT?THAT AIN'T YOU.

WHERE OUR SHIT
AT THEN?

HE'S SITTING ON IT
RIGHT HERE.

OH. HOLD ON, DAWG.

MAN, YOU GOT TO
BE BULLSHITTING.

THIS AIN'T OUR
RAGGEDY-ASS
PIECE OF SHIT.

DON'T TRIP.
WE GONNA HANDLE THIS.

HA HA.FOR REAL.

LOOK, HOMIE.
ON 30 MINUTES' NOTICE,

YOU GET THIS.

YOU WANT THE HOOK UP,
GIVE ME TWO HOURS,

AND I'LL GET YOU
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

TOLD YOU WE SHOULD
HAVE CALLED

THAT MOTHERFUCKER
EARLIER.

HEY, DAWG. LET ME
GO WITH YOU, MAN.

LET'S GO, DAWG.

FUCKER, YOU GONNA
TRIP, HUH?

YOU GONNA
FUCKING TRIP.

YOU FAT, ICE CUBE-LOOKING
MOTHERFUCKER.

SAY, DAWG.
COME OVER HERE

BEFORE YOU GET YOUR
ASS SHOT, NIGGA.

FUCK THAT, MAN.
YOU THINK THIS SHIT
GONNA WORK, MAN?

YEAH. HERE.

YOU EVER SEE ONE
OF THOSE BEFORE?

NIGGA, YOU JUST KEEP
THE DAMN CAR RUNNING

WHILE I GO IN HERE
AND HANDLE MY BUSINESS.

♪ I TOLD YOU, NIGGAS,
DON'T MAKE THE MAN ♪

♪ NIGGAS, THE MAN
MAKE THE GREEN ♪

♪ SEE, ME AND "P"
AND "C," NIGGA ♪

♪ WE SERVING
ALL THESE FIENDS ♪

♪ AIN'T NO SUCH THING
AS NIGGAS BEING
HALFWAY SHOOK ♪

♪ I'M A MOTHERFUCKING KILLER

♪ I HANG WITH CONVICTS
AND CROOKS ♪

♪ MAN MAKE THE MONEY,
THE MONEY DON'T MAKE THE MAN ♪

♪ YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO,
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? ♪

♪ NIGGA, LET'S DANCE

♪ OKLAHOMA, NIGGA

♪ KANSAS NIGGAS
DOWN TO DANCE ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT MY GREEN, NIGGA

♪ ALL ABOUT MY PAPER

♪ ON TOP, WHEN WE STOP

♪ TILL I CALL SHOTS
FROM A SKYSCRAPER ♪

♪ SEE, I DON'T GANGBANG,
GET MY BANG ON ♪

♪ SO BRING IT ON...

BLACK, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

NIGGAS IS
LOOKING FOR YOU UP
IN THIS PIECE, B.

GET ME A DRINK.
SHIT.

WHAT YOU WANT?

I NEED TO TALK
TO ROSCOE.

YOU WANT TO TALK
TO ROSCOE?

OK. I'M SURE HE'LL
TALK TO YOU

RIGHT BEFORE HE
KILL YOUR ASS.

SO YOU DIDN'T WANT
THE HOOK UP?

NO, BABY.
YOU KNOW WE DON'T LOVE
THEM HOS, NIGGA.

WE TREAT THEM BITCHES
LIKE THIS BLUNT, NIGGA--

PUFF, PUFF, PASS, NIGGA.

THAT'S WHAT
I THOUGHT, MAN.

PUT YOUR MONEY
WHERE YOUR MOUTH AT.

8 BALL
IN THE CORNER POCKET.

SAY, PLAYER,
I GOT NEXT, MAN.

LET'S DOUBLE
THIS BET
A "G" A GAME.

"G" A GAME?
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH HIM?

A "G"? I GOT A "G"
ON SOME WEED, NIGGA.

THERE YOU GO,
PLAYER.

Roscoe: WHO THE FUCK
THIS IS, MAN?

THIS BETTER BE
MONEY TALKING.

THIS BLACK, ROSCOE.

BLACK, YOU GOT
SOME KIND
OF FUCKING NERVE

TO SHOW UP
IN MY CLUB.

YOU MUST GOT
ALL MY MONEY.

SHIT.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT, DAWG.

THAT WASN'T MY FAULT,

BUT YOU AIN'T THE ONLY
CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER OUT HERE.

I GOT A BOMB
IN MY SACK.

IF YOU DON'T ACT RIGHT,

I'M GONNA BLOW
THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP.

WE ALL GOING TONIGHT,
DAWG.

I'M TIRED OF FUCKING
RUNNING AND HIDING.

THOSE TWO CRIMINALS

IN THAT TITTY BAR
HAVING A GOOD TIME.

FOR YOU TO BE
COMING AT ME
LIKE THIS HERE,

IT MUST BE INVOLVED
WITH 70 GRAND
PLUS INTEREST

FOR ME TO GIVE YOU
YOUR LIFE.

IF YOU CAN GET
PAST THAT SHIT,

I GOT A DEAL
FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW I GOT
THIS CELLULAR PHONE
COMPANY.

I COULD SHOW YOU HOW
TO MAKE WAY MORE MONEY

THAN ANY OF THESE
MOTHERFUCKERS THAT
YOU FUCKING WITH NOW.

YOU KNOW, I'M THE MAN
ON THE STREET.

I GOT THE INSIDE CONNECTION,
THE BLACK BOX.

WE COULD HOOK
THIS UP.

ALL I NEED YOU TO DO
IS GET T-LAY AND THEM
OFF MY ASS.

ME AND BLUE GONNA
HANDLE THIS.

WE COULD RUN THE STREETS
WITH THIS SHIT,

AND I'LL CUT YOU IN
ON MY CELLULAR BUSINESS.

DON'T EVEN WORRY
ABOUT THAT ONE-EYED
DUMBASS T-LAY.

THAT'S JUST MY
BABY MAMA'S
BROTHER, MAN.

KNOW WHAT?
I'M A GOOD
BUSINESSMAN,

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING?

AND I HEAR GOOD
BUSINESS WHEN IT
COME AT ME.

SO WHAT WE GONNA
DO IS, WE GONNA
WORK THIS OUT

TILL YOU PAY UP
MY 70 GRAND,

AND WE GONNA TALK
ABOUT DOING

SOME LITTLE
PARTNERSHIP

ON THIS
CELLULAR PHONE SHIT
YOU TALKING ABOUT.

I HEAR YOU.

SO I'M GONNA HOLLER
AT YOU LATER.

YOU AIN'T GONNA BE
SORRY, DAWG.

WE GONNA GET PAID.

I'M GONNA HOLLER
AT YOU, DAWG.

YO, BLACK!

WONTON CAN'T
SAVE YOUR PUNK ASS NOW.

MAN, I ALREADY HANDLED
THIS SHIT WITH ROSCOE, DAWG.

YOU BETTER STOP
FUCKING WITH ME, HEAR?

NIGGA, YOU THOUGHT
THE STOPPED MAKING GUNS
WHEN THEY MADE YOURS, HUH?

Roscoe on P.A.: T-LAY,
YOU BETTER BRING
YOUR BITCH ASS UPSTAIRS

UNTIL BLACK DO SOMETHING
YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO

LIKE BRING ME SOME BUSINESS.

GET YOUR BITCH ASS
UPSTAIRS, T-LAY.

YOU MIGHT BE
STRAIGHT
WITH ROSCOE,

BUT THIS SHIT'S
PERSONAL.

I'M GONNA PUT YOUR
ASS IN THE DIRT.

GO WASH DISHES
FOR ROSCOE, NIGGA.

I'M THE MAN NOW.

SEE YOU ON THE STREET,
YOU BITCH,

YOU AND THEM LADIES
YOU WITH, HEAR?

HOLLA AT ME.

GET YOUR BITCH ASS
OUT OF HERE.

Roscoe: T-LAY,
CHANGE OF PLANS.

I WANT YOU TO FIND OUT
THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S
INSIDE CONNECTION

AND GET THE BLACK BOX.

WE GONNA TAKE OVER HIS BUSINESS
AND PUT HIS SNEAKY ASS TO SLEEP.

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU POINTING A GUN--

POINTING A FUCKING
GUN AT ME FOR?

MOVE THE FUCK OVER.

WHAT THE FUCK
HAPPENED IN THERE?

SHIT. WE AIN'T GOT
TO WORRY ABOUT
TAKING NO SHIT.

I WENT IN THERE
AND TOLD ROSCOE

WHAT THE FUCK WAS
ON MY MIND.

IT'S COOL.

COME ON, COME ON.
THERE THEY ARE.

MAN, YOU KNOW THEM
MOTHERFUCKERS OVER
THERE IN THE SUIT

BEEN WATCHING US, MAN.

MAN, WHAT
MOTHERFUCKERS
IN THE SUIT?

RIGHT OVER THERE.
THEY CHECKING SHIT OUT.

WHAT YOU MEAN,
CHECKING SHIT OUT?

I MEAN CHECKING OUT.

THEY WAS HERE,
CHECKING IT OUT.

THEY WAS CHECKING
IT OUT.

CHECK, CHECK,
CHECK, CHECK,
CHECKING IT OUT!

LET'S GO. COME ON.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

OH, SHIT!
WHOA!

JESUS CHRIST. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?

DAMN FBI!
SHIT!

N.W.A.: ♪ ONE OF THE MAIN
REASONS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ♪

♪ CHANCES ARE USUALLY NOT GOOD

♪ 'CAUSE I FREEZE
WITH MY HANDS ON A HOT HOOD ♪

♪ GETTING JACKED
BY THE YOU-KNOW-WHO ♪

SHIT! HEY, MAN.
NEXT TIME, HIT
A HOT DOG STAND

BECAUSE I'M KIND
OF HUNGRY.

♪ WE'RE 3 MORE BROTHERS,
I MEAN, STREET BROTHERS ♪

♪ NOW WEARIN' MY DYES 'CAUSE I'M
NOT STUPID, MOTHERFUCKERS ♪

♪ THEY'RE OUT
TO TAKE OUR HEADS ♪

♪ FOR WHAT WE SAID IN THE PAST

♪ POINT BLANK, NIGGA,
KISS MY BLACK ASS... ♪

GODDAMN!
TAKE IT EASY, MAN!

MY BLADDER CAN'T
TAKE IT!

MAN, GET YOUR
BITCH ASS OUT

AND GO CLOSE
THE MOTHERFUCKING
HOOD.

PRETEND LIKE
YOU FLYING LIKE

WHEN YOU BE
ON THAT ANGEL DUST.

♪ RUNNING LIKE A "G"

♪ BUT, SEE, I MIGHT HAVE
SLAYED Y'ALL ♪

HURRY UP, BOY WONDER.

♪ HOLD IT IN THE AIR
'CAUSE MC REN ♪

♪ HAS 100 MILES OF RUNNIN'

CLOSE THE HOOD,
DAWG.

IT WON'T CLOSE.

[HORN HONKING]

AAH!

♪ I CAN TELL YOU WHY

♪ RUNNIN' WITH MY BROTHERS

♪ HEADING FOR THE HOME BASE

♪ WITH A STEADY PACE

♪ ON THE FACE THAT
JUST WE RACED ♪

♪ THE ROAD AHEAD
GOES ON AND ON ♪

♪ THIS SHIT IS GETTING LONGER
THAN A MOTHERFUCKIN' MARATHON ♪

AAH!

STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!

♪ NOBODY'S PICKING UP
A NIGGA WITH A ATTITUDE ♪

♪ CONFUSED, YO, BUT DRE'S
A NIGGA... ♪

ABOUT TIME YOU DO
SOMETHING RIGHT.

♪ BEEN ACCUSED AND ABUSED
OF THE CRIME ♪

♪ OF POISONING YOUNG MINDS

♪ BUT YOU DON'T
KNOW SHIT... ♪

MAN, WHAT THE FUCK
WRONG WITH YOU?

FUCK IT.
YOU OWE ME, MAN.

GIVE ME $10.

FBI man: WHERE ARE
THEY GOING?

♪ AND ANY MOTHERFUCKER
THAT DISAGREES... ♪

Blue: OH, SHIT, MAN.
SLOW DOWN.

BE CAREFUL, MAN!

Black:
IF YOU WANT ME,

COME GET ME,
MOTHERFUCKER.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

♪ GOT US TICK AND RUNNIN'
SINCE THEY FIRED THE GUN ♪

♪ AND STARTED THE CLOCK

♪ THAT'S WHEN THE "E"
JUMPED OFF THE STARTING BLOCK ♪

FBI man: WHAT
THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING, JAMES?

MAN, FUCK THIS SHIT.

FOR A DEUCE
AND A QUARTER,

THAT'S A YMCA THERE.

KNOCK THAT
MOTHERFUCKER OVER.

YOU SON OF A BITCH,
YOU'RE GONNA KILL US!

[SCREAMING]

I'M NOT STOPPING.
COME ON.

Andrew: HEY.
HEY, MAN.

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU DOING IN
THE STREET, MAN?

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?

[TIRES SQUEALING]

WATCH OUT!

Blue: AAH!

UNH!

[SCREAMING]

FUCK, NIGGA.
I HIT LITTLE BROTHER.

SHIT! DAMN, DAWG.
YOU ALL RIGHT?

FAT ASS, WHAT YOU
DOING HERE?

YOU KNOW YOUR MOM
TOLD ME

DON'T EVEN FUCK
WITH YOU, MAN.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GO HOME.

COME ON. HELP ME
WITH DAWG, MAN.

[SIRENS]

HEAVY-ASS
MOTHERFUCKER, MAN.

MAN, HURRY UP, BLUE.
THEY COMING.

I DON'T KNOW WHY WE
NEED THIS MOTHERFUCKER
ANYWAY. SHIT.

THERE GO THAT SPOT
WE USED TO HANG
OUT AT.

MAN, LET'S PUT
HIM IN THERE.

LEAVE HIS ASS RIGHT HERE
ON THE DAMN GROUND.

RIGHT HERE.
HERE IT IS
RIGHT HERE, DAWG.

HOLD HIM UP SO I
CAN OPEN THIS
MOTHERFUCKER.

BLACK BOX,
WHITE COP.

THE THING RIGHT
ON THE SIDE,
RIGHT ON THE SIDE.

GO SEE WHERE
THEY AT, MAN.
GO SEE WHERE THEY AT.

HURRY UP.

[SCREAMING]

[HELICOPTER FLYING]

[LITTLE BROTHER MOANING]

OH, MAN, MY BACK.

PICK LITTLE BROTHER
UP, BLUE.

I TOLD YOU DON'T PLAY
NO GAMES, BOY.

DON'T PLAY NO GAMES.
DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU.

HURRY UP.

[GROANING]

MAN, THAT'S THEM
NIGGAS THAT WOULDN'T
GIVE ME $5.00.

HEY! YOU'RE
THE MOTHERFUCKERS

WHO SOLD ME
THAT PHONE!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

WHAT HE SAY,
WHAT HE SAY, DAWG?

OH. HOMES,
CHECK THIS OUT.

CHECK THIS OUT,
HOMES.

WE DON'T WANT
NO PROBLEM.

KILL THEM, MAN.
KILL THEM.

HA HA!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

WHAT IF I GIVE YOU
3 DAYS TO ADD TIME,

TWO HOURS,
AND A FREE PAGER

WITH YOUR PHONE,
HOMES?

AND A PIÑATA
WITH A LOT OF CANDY.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I BET YOU GIVE ME
$5.00 NOW.

[TRAIN RUMBLING OVERHEAD]

HA HA HA!
CHECK THIS OUT.

NO!

HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
BRING HIS ASS
RIGHT HERE.

I AIN'T GONNA SHOOT.
I'M GONNA MAKE
HIM DANCE.

[FIRING GUN]

THAT'S MY NIGGA
RIGHT HERE!

[WHISTLES]

[SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

GET YOUR ASS
BACK OVER THERE.

[BARKING]

BLACK AND BLUE,
YOU MOTHERFUCKING DOGS.

WE BETTER GET
OUT OF HERE

BEFORE WE GET
EATEN.

[SCREAMING]

[DOGS GROWLING]

GODDAMN.

MAN. DAMN YOU,
BLACK AND BLUE.

OH, FUCK. THEM DOGS
DONE FUCKED ME, MAN.

SAY, MAN, YOU THINK
THEY GONNA FIND US
IN HERE, MAN?

SHIT. THEY'LL NEVER
FIND US DOWN HERE, DAWG.

MOTHERFUCKER STINK,
MAN.

WHAT'S UP
WITH LITTLE BROTHER?

LISTEN!

I GOT $100
THAT I'LL WHUP

ANY ONE OF YOUR
ASSES IN BALL,

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING?

WHERE WE AT, DAWG?

SHIT. WE MUST BE
BY THE GODDAMN
COURT.

COME ON, MAN.
LET'S GET OUT
FROM HERE.

COME ON.

WHAT'S UP?

FUCK THAT!

AAH!

BITCH, I SHOULD
KILL YOU
RIGHT NOW

FOR WHAT YOU DID
THE OTHER NIGHT.

GET THE FUCK UP
OUT HERE.

HEY. FUCK YOU.

COME. GET YOUR
BITCH ASS OUT
OF THE TRUNK.

WE GOT A SURPRISE
FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

SURPRISE YOU AIN'T
COMING BACK FROM.

WATCH BLACK.

Black: LET ME MAKE
A DEAL WITH YOU.

NIGGA, SHUT
THE FUCK UP.

DEAD MEN DON'T
MAKE DEALS.

T-Lay: PUT THEM
OVER THERE.

BLACK, I KNOW THAT
BITCH YOU SLEEP WITH

IS YOUR
INSIDE CONNECTION,

BUT IF YOU DON'T
TELL ME WHERE
THAT BLACK BOX IS,

I'M GONNA PUT
YOUR ASS TO SLEEP.

WELL, WE AIN'T SLEEPY.

MAN, SHUT UP!

MOTHERFUCKER SURE
LOOKS BAD

WITH THEM GUNS, HUH?

MAD DOG, GO TURN
THAT JIVE ON.

I'M GONNA CUT
HIS BIG BUTT UP
RIGHT NOW.

AND DON'T FUCK
THE SHIT UP EITHER.

Mad Dog:
ALL RIGHT. FUCK.

STUPID, YOU WATCH.

I GOT TO GO TAKE A SHIT.

YOU SMELL LIKE YOU
ALREADY SHITTED
ON YOURSELF.

SHUT THAT SHIT UP, MAN.
I AIN'T PLAYING
WITH YOU NO MORE!

STUPID, BUST A CAP
IN THEM IF THEY MOVE.

TINY-ASS SUIT ON.

PROBABLY GET
A YEAST INFECTION
ON YOUR NUTS!

ALL RIGHT, BABY.
IT'S ME AGAIN.

I NEED YOU TONIGHT
TO TAKE CARE OF THESE
LITTLE BITCHES.

[GROANING]

ONE OF YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS BUDGE,

I'M GONNA HURT YOU.

UNH!

MOTHERFUCKER,
I TOLD YOU--I SAID

DON'T MOVE,
MOTHERFUCKER!

I'M GONNA KNOCK
ONE OF YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS OUT

EVERY TWO MINUTES.

MAN, WHAT THE FUCK
WE GONNA DO NOW, HUH?

WHAT THE FUCK
THIS FAKE-ASS MOTHERFUCKING

LOW-BUDGET OLD DAWG
GONNA KILL US?

NIGGA, WE
BOUTA BOUTA, NIGGA.

WE BOUTA BOUTA
GET SHOTA SHOTA.

WHAT THE FUCK WE
GONNA DO TO GET
OUT OF THIS?

STOP TRIPPING,
NIGGA.

WE GONNA SMOKE
SOMETHING.

THAT'S WHAT WE
GONNA DO.

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKING ABOUT,
SMOKE SOMETHING, MAN?

WHAT THE FUCK
WE GONNA SMOKE?

SINCE WE ABOUT TO
GO SEE THE ANGELS
AND SHIT,

MIGHT AS WELL SMOKE
SOME DUST,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN.

OK, OK. LOOK HERE,
OLD DAWG,

MR. GANGBANGER,
WE WAS WONDERING,

LIKE, SINCE YOU
GONNA KILL US,

CAN WE GET HIGH FIRST?

THE FUCK YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

GOT A BLUNT
IN MY POCKET, MAN.

WANT TO KNOW IF WE
CAN SMOKE IT.

AND WE'LL LET YOU HAVE
A COUPLE OF HITS.

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Y'ALL PLAYING WITH ME,
Y'ALL FUCKING WANT
TO DIE.

WE AIN'T GOT TIME
TO PLAY.
WE FIXING TO DIE.

[FART]

[GROANS]

DAMN! FUCK!
ABOUT TIME

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DO
SOMETHING RIGHT, BITCH.

SHIT.

I'LL LIGHT THAT
FOR YOU. HOLD UP.

GO AND LIGHT THAT UP.

DAMN!

THAT'S CALLED
ONE AND GONE.

HIT THAT ONCE,
YOUR ASS IS GONE.

MAN, GET ME
THE FUCK OVER THERE.

[COUGHING]

THEM BITCHES
HIGH.

[CLUCKING]

GO ON, GET HIGH,
BABY.

YO, BAT-MITE.

UNH!

Black: I HOPE I
DIDN'T BLOW YOUR HIGH.

UH, EXCUSE ME,
MR. KILLER.

YOO-HOO,
MR. MURDERER.

IS THERE ANOTHER
BATHROOM AROUND
HERE ANYWHERE?

[SCREAMING]

OH, YEAH, I BEEN
WAITING FOR TH--UNH!

T-Lay: I GOT TO STAY AWAY
FROM THEM DAMN BURRITOS.

SORRY-ASS
MOTHERFUCKERS.

HEY, STUPID,
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

UH, Y-YEAH, BOSS.

I'M ALMOST FINISHED.

PUT THEM BOYS
TO SLEEP,

AND LET'S ROLL
OUT OF HERE.

YOU HEARD HIM.
HE SAID WE'RE READY
TO ROLL OUT OF HERE.

COCKEYED MOTHERFUCKER!

HEY! HEY! AAH!

[SCREAMING]

WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON?!

OH, NO!

[SCREAMING]

TELL ROSCOE'S
DOUBLE-CROSSING ASS
HE NEXT.

HE CAN FORGET
ABOUT THEM 70 Gs
THAT HE WANTS.

AND DON'T FORGET
TO WIPE YOUR ASS

WHILE YOU'RE
DOWN THERE,

YOU STINK,
COCKEYED BITCH,

YOU PUNK
MOTHERFUCKER.

YOU DON'T SCARE ME.

I OUGHT TO LEAP
DOWN THERE
AND BEAT YOUR ASS!

LET IT GO,
LET IT GO.

COME ON, MAN.

YOU ALL RIGHT, MAN?

MY FUCKING HEAD.

IF T-LAY WASN'T
SO GODDAMN DUMB,
WE COULD BE ROLLING.

FUCK YOU GONNA
HAVE A ROLLS-ROYCE

AND PUT $5.00
WORTH OF GAS
IN THAT BITCH?

SHIT. HE NEED TO BE
KNOCKED OFF THAT CLIFF,
HUH, DAWG?

SOMETHING.

THE BLACK BOX.
THE BLACK--BLACK--

THE BLACK COP.

THE BLACK--OHH.

YO. WHO THE FUCK
IS THAT, MAN?

PICK YOUR ASS UP.

OH, SHIT.

WHAT YOU TALKING
ABOUT?

MY BAD, DAWG.
IT WAS JUST
THE BIRDS.

BLUE, STOP
PLAYING, MAN.

MAN, YOU NEED TO STOP
TRIPPING ON SOME
BLACK BOX.

NEED TO GO BACK
TO THE SHOPPING CENTER

AND HANDLE
OUR BUSINESS.

MONEY BACK.

JAMES!

OH, NO, NO, NO.

JAMES!
WHAT?

WOULD YOU COME HERE
A MINUTE, PLEASE?

OH, MAN.
I'M UP 40.

WOULD YOU COME HERE
A MINUTE, PLEASE?

WHY YOU GONNA PUT ME OUT?

GUYS. GUYS.
THERE THEY ARE.

OK. NOW THIS IS
OUR BIG CHANCE.

OH, YEAH.

YO! FREEZE!

FREEZE!
FREEZE!

FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKING
MOTHERFUCKERS!

SHUT UP.
DO NOT FUCKING MOVE!

WHO THE FUCK
ARE Y'ALL, MAN,

THE MEN IN BLACK
AND WHITE?

DO NOT FUCKING MOVE!

KEEP YOUR FUCKING
MOUTH SHUT!

MAN, THAT'S
THE BLACK GUYS.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MOTHERFUCK--

WHAT THE?

GIVE ME MY MASK BACK!

OH, SHIT, JIM!

GIVE ME MY GUN!
GIVE ME MY GUN!

I'M SICK
OF THIS BULLSHIT.

WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
AN AFFIRMATIVE
ACTION APPROACH.

GET THE FUCK UP
OUT OF HERE.

GET UP OUT OF HERE.
GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE.

I TOLD Y'ALL.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[YELLING]

UGLY ASS.
WHO THEY LOOK LIKE?

MAN, MOTHERFUCKER LOOK
LIKE ROGER THE RABBIT
AND THE PENGUIN.

THEY LOOKED LIKE
AMOS AND ANDY.

THEY LOOK LIKE
O.J. AND NICOLE.

O.J. AND NICOLE?

IT'S THE BLACK
AND WHITE THING
JUMPING OFF THERE.

FUCK ALL THAT.
BY THE WAY,

WHICH ONE OF YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS SLAPPED
ME ANYWAY?

NOBODY SLAPPED YOU.
YOU HAD A FLY
ON YOUR FACE.

I WAS TRYING TO GET
THE MOTHERFUCKER OFF.

BLUE, I BEEN WANTING
TO WHUP YOUR LITTLE ASS.

UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
AND WE--WE'VE BEEN

WANTING TO WHUP
YOUR ASS.

IT'S LIKE THAT, HUH?

YEAH, IT'S LIKE THAT.

SEE YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS LATER.

HOLLA AT ME.

UH-HUH.

[GROWLING]

MAN, WHERE THAT DAMN
BLACK BOX AT ANYWAY?

Lorraine: I GOT TO IT FIRST,
AND I SMASHED IT.

YOU SMASHED IT?

Dalton: LORRAINE,
I GOT YOU, LORRAINE.

NOW, YOU COULD GO
TO JAIL FOR THIS.

Blue: CALM DOWN,
JOHNNIE COCKLAN.

Tootsie Roll:
DALTON, THERE YOU ARE.

I BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

WHERE YOU BEEN, HONEY?

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
GO OUT TO DINNER
LAST NIGHT.

I WAS LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

I COULD NOT FIND--
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

TOOTSIE...

TOOTSIE, YOU
TELL THAT MAN
YOU GOT A WOOD?

BLACK!

A WOOD?
A WOOD.

A TREE
WITH TWO APPLES.

WELL, LET ME TELL
YOU SOMETHING, BABY.

AND A LITTLE BITTY
GARDEN.

WELL, I AIN'T NEVER
HEARD IT REFERRED TO
AS THAT,

BUT TOOTSIE POP, BABY,
AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO HIDE!

AAH!

TOO--OK.

AAH!

AND I WANT
MY $40 BACK!

YOU MUST HAVE HAD
MAKEUP ON DOWN THERE!

NO WONDER IT TOOK ME
SO LONG!

OH, NO, YOU WILL
NOT HIT ME.

I WILL BEAT YOU.

BRING OUT THE TITTY.

WATCH OUT FOR THAT
KILLER COMB.

PUT MILK ON HIM,
TOOTSIE!

PUT MILK ON HIM!

MOTHERFUCKER
CRAZY, MAN.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?
YOU GONNA HELP ME FIX

THIS BLACK BOX
OR WHAT?

NO. YOU FIX
THAT BLACK BOX.

I'M GONNA FIX
THIS BLACK BOX
RIGHT HERE.

YEAH.

LOOK HERE.
CAN A NIGGA WATCH?

YOU NEED TO GO WATCH
NASTY AND HER SISTER.

DAMN.

THAT'S WHAT
YOU AFTER.

THAT'S WHAT I'M
GONNA DO, TOO.

COME SIT DOWN.

MY LITTLE
CANDY MONSTER.

COME INTO MY SHOP,

WHERE IT ALL
STARTED.

OOH, YES.

REMEMBER HOW WE
USED TO DO IT?

MM-HMM.
YES, I DO.

I BEEN THINKING
ABOUT SETTLING DOWN

AND GOING LEGIT.

MM-HMM.

OH, WILL YOU--

YES, BLACK!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.

LET ME SHOW YOU.

GOING FOR THE POCKET,
YOU'RE GOING FOR--

WILL YOU GO
INTO BUSINESS
WITH ME?

BUSINESS?
YEAH. WHAT YOU
THOUGHT

I WAS GONNA MARRY
YOU OR SOMETHING?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA GIVE ME
THE HOOK UP.

THIS IS
THE HOOK UP.

IT'S ALL LEGIT, TOO.

MY NEW SEX LINE.
ALL YOU GOT TO DO

IS ANSWER THE PHONE,
GIRL.

KEEP THAT.

I DO NEED A JOB.

YEAH. YOU DO
NEED A JOB.

YOU STILL GONNA BE
MY CANDY MONSTER?

24/7.

YES. GIVE ME A LITTLE
SOMETHING-SOMETHING.

Bessie: BLUE. BLUE.
BLUE.

LITTLE SORRY-ASS
MOTHERFUCKER.

I WANT MY MONEY BACK.

LOOK HERE.
WE CLOSED.

YOU AIN'T GETTING
NO GODDAMN
MONEY BACK.

COME BACK
IN TWO YEARS.

TWO YEARS?
I WANT MY MONEY
BACK NOW!

THE TV STILL
DON'T WORK,

AND MY SISTER LOST
HER VIRGINITY

BECAUSE OF YOUR
DAMN UNCLE.

HA HA! SURPRISE.

JUST BECAUSE YOU
DON'T FUCK
ON TUESDAY,

IT DON'T MAKE YOU
NO VIRGIN.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
RESPECT ME AND MY
SISTER, BLUE.

AAH, AAH!

YOU GOT THE OLD GUN.

OH, NOW YOU GONNA
SHOOT ME

WITH THE BIG
DANIEL BOONE.

WELL, I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT.
LOOK HERE.

I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU A TARGET.

GO AHEAD
AND SHOOT ME.

GO ON BECAUSE
YOU GOT THAT
FROM MY UNCLE.

I KNOW IT
DON'T WORK.

GO AHEAD.
AIM AND SHOOT ME
IN MY ASS.

HUH? GO AHEAD.
SHOOT AT IT.

SHOOT ME
IN MY ASS.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

AAH! THIS BITCH
DONE SHOT ME

IN MY ASS!

OHH!

♪ UHH, NA NA NA

♪ MAKE THEM SAY,
"UHH, UHH" ♪

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

BLACK AND BLUE.

OH!

THIS MOTHERFUCKER
DRUNK OVER HERE.

NO, I'M NOT.

ONE LINE.
DON'T KNOW IT.

[INDISTINCT]

I WILL, I WILL.
PLEASE, BLACK.

GIVE ME 50 CENT,
LET ME KEEP 50 CENT.

HEY! HEY!

BLACK DONE HIT
A MOTHERFUCKER.
IS THAT IN THERE?

SHIT! THAT SHIT'S--

IS THAT SHIT
ON THE SCRIPT?

BLACK OR MASTER P?
I DON'T KNOW.

[MUMBLING]

WHEN THE FUCK IS
JAKE GONNA BE HERE?

Blue: I'M GONNA
GET ME SOME PUSSY

BEFORE I LEAVE
THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

[SIGHS]

I AM GONNA GET ME
SOME PUSSY,
I PROMISE YOU,

BEFORE I LEAVE
THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

I'M FUCKING SOMEBODY
IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

CUT.

SHOOT ME IN MY ASS.
GO AHEAD.

MOTHERFUCKER!

OH. THE BITCH
GUN DON'T WORK.

YOU'RE ALL
MINE, MAN.
FUCK YOU!

I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE ALL MINE!

WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON, MAN?

SHUT UP!

TALK TO ME, MAN.

SAY WHAT?

ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING?

OH, YOU'RE WORKING.

THAT'S NICE. YOU--

AHA.

Bessie: HOW WE GONNA
CARRY THIS SHIT BACK
TO 122nd?

Blue: PUT IT
ON YOUR BACK,
SHOPPER.

LOOK. CHECK THIS OUT.

I AIN'T TRYING
TO RUN NO GAME ON YOU,

BUT THIS WHAT YOU
NEED TO DO.

WE GOT THE BEST
CUSTOMER SERVICE
OVER HERE.

THAT DUDE STUPID, MAN.

[LAUGHTER]

GO AHEAD
AND SHOOT ME.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

GO AHEAD.
SHOOT ME
IN MY ASS.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

DAMN.

JESUS CHRIST!
I CAN'T GO ON.

♪ "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ NIGGA, I'M THE COLONEL
OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TANK ♪

♪ Y'ALL AFTER BIG THANGS,
WE AFTER BIG BANK ♪

♪ THIRD WARD HUSTLERS,
SOLDERS IN COMBATS ♪

♪ CONVICTS AND DEALERS
AND KILLERS WITH TRUE TATS ♪

♪ NEVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT
NO HOS OR NO RICHES ♪

♪ AND NIGGAS COME SHORT

♪ I'M DIGGING DITCHES

♪ M.P. PULLING STRIPES,
COMMANDER IN CHIEF ♪

♪ AND FOOLS RUN UP WRONG

♪ NIGGA, I'M KNOCKING
OUT SOME TEETH ♪

♪ I'M DOWN HERE SLANGING

♪ ROLLING WITH THESE HUSTLERS

♪ TRYING TO GET RID
OF ALL YOU HATERS ♪

♪ AND YOU BUSTERS

♪ STEPPING ON TOES

♪ BREAK A NIGGA'S NOSE

♪ IN THE PROJECTS,
NIGGAS, ANYTHING GOES ♪

♪ BREAKING FOOLS OFF 'CAUSE
I'M A NO-LIMIT SOLDIER ♪

♪ AT EASE, NOW SALUTE
THIS PASS ME THE DOJA ♪

♪ MAKE THEM SAY, "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ MAKE THEM SAY, "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ MAKE THEM SAY, "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ FIEND EXERCISING HIS RIGHT
OF EXORCISM ♪

♪ BUSTING OUT
THE EXPEDITION ♪

♪ BULLETS CHOPPING HATERS

♪ BUSINESS TO ABOUT
THE SIZE OF PRISMS ♪

♪ OUR MISSION

♪ THEY HEARD WE SCARY,
NO-LIMIT MERCENARY ♪

♪ NO TELLING HOW BAD
IT GET ♪

♪ BECAUSE THE WORST
WILL VARY ♪

♪ I HEARD YOU MAKE
THEM WORRY ♪

♪ THAT THIS FOR THE LOOT

♪ THEY INTIMIDATED
BY THE ROUNDS ♪

♪ THAT THE TANK SHOOT

♪ TANK DOGS, SALUTE

♪ EVERY ROBBERY IN STORE
'CAUSE THEY KNOW ♪

♪ EVERYTHING FINED KNOW

♪ MEAN MO' MONEY MO'

♪ LITTLE FIEND STILL
WANT THE GREENS ♪

♪ THE CORNBREAD
AND THE CABBAGE ♪

♪ IN YOUR HOOD, REMINDING
YOU BITCHES WHO THE BADDEST ♪

♪ DEFINITELY THE MADDEST

♪ SO THE CRIME GONNA
STICK THEM UP ♪

♪ MY UHH WENT TWICE,
UHH, UHH ♪

♪ AND ENDED WITH 9, GET THEM

♪ MAKE THEM SAY, "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ MAKE THEM SAY, "UHH, UHH"

♪ NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA ♪

♪ "P" GONNA MAKE YOU
SAY, "UHH" ♪

♪ I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
SAY, "UHH" ♪

♪ I'M NOT ERIC B
BUT GUARANTEED ♪

♪ TO MOVE THIS
MOTHERFUCKING CROWD ♪

♪ I STAY ON LIKE
LIGHT SWITCHES, MONEY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I LIKE RICHES

♪ HITTING NOTHING
BUT TIGHT BITCHES ♪

♪ CALL ME, I MIGHT HIT YOU

♪ NIGGA MAKE THEM SAY,
"NA NA NA" ♪

♪ DON'T TRIP,
AFTER I BUST YOUR SHIT ♪

♪ THEN AFTER THAT SAY,
"NA NA NA NA" ♪

♪ I HANG WITH NIGGAS
I DO MY THING WITH NIGGAS ♪

♪ THEY WANT TO KNOW IF
I GANGBANG ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I HANG WITH A WHOLE
GANG OF NIGGAS ♪

♪ SO WHEN WE CONNECT, BITCH,
BETTER RESPECT THIS ♪

♪ I STEP QUICK 'CAUSE I GOT
A VICIOUS RIGHT HAND ♪

♪ BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
MY LEFT IS QUICK, TOO ♪