I Enjoy the World with You (1983) - full transcript
Three middle-aged men go for a vacation with their children and learn to cope with their needs without their wives. Quickly, they plan to exhaust the kids to have some time off, but nothing really works out as planned.
Centrum ?esk?ho Videa
presents
WITH YOU THE WORLD IS FUN
Story and Screenplay
Starring
Set Designer
Music by
Sound Editor
Film Editor
Chief of Production Team
Director of Photography
Directed by
English sub- Titles
by Doris Ko??skov?
Damn it all, how can a guy work
in this place?
Who gave it to you?
What's this scribbling?
That's not scribing,
that's Pepino!
Come, and take
this child away!
I spent half the night cleaning.
I want it all done by Friday too.
Where's your logic?
It's me who's leaving on Friday!
What's all the fuss about?
Don't I know?!
Don't look
so mysterious, then.
We set out for NIATNUOM every
year at this time. For the past 8 years.
For 8 years I've been waiting
for you to take me along.
Only real men
can go to NIATNUON!
One, two-woods, three,
four-strings, five-piano.
Give me everything
except for the strings.
- Put a flanger on the guitar.
- Studio 3, Bedn?fi.
- Is it Albert? - I'm not here
next week, neither is Michael.
Leave the colour as it is.
No way.
It's my only week per year,
refuse to give up one minute.
Let's start, guys.
Want more percussion
for the bass?
Definitely not.
Now then...
Enough, gentleman.
Better harmony,
let's try again.
- Studio 3.
- Doctor Hor?k here.
- Albert, at last.
- Anything wrong?
No, just fine.
Ideal NIATNUOM conditions!
The AKVODAH road's cleared.
You take the northern route,
I the southern and Mike can choose.
- Mike's car is at the workshop.
- So he has problems?
- Do you need the card, Albert?
- No thanks.
Tell Mike not to panic.
Two cars will do.
And remember:
Better yield to minor concessions
than risk serious complications.
We must do something
this year.
I've had enough.
I'll call Gabina.
The three of us
must stick together.
Count me out. I'll be pleased
to see them off.
That's where we make
our mistake!
In not sticking together!
If you want to preserve
you're equinamity
don't think
of what goes on there.
- What's all this noise?
- Bert's lying!
I'm not!
Dad said you're not going!
Did he say
why she wouldn't be going?
'Cause she's a girl!
Get into the tub!
Help me fold the nappies.
Albert!
Albert!
I've been waiting for 8 years
for you to grow up.
You won't make
the children fight.
Anyway,
Katie's a schoolgirl now.
School- Age was one
of the conditions, not the only one.
- Those are the NIATNUOM rules.
- Don't look se self- important.
The NIATNUOM expedition
is only for men.
You know what?
Your rules are valid only as long
as we keep to them too.
Come on!
Once a year they're off to the MOUNTAINS
and the call it an expedition.
We know what we know,
right, Matthew?
We have the chamber
in the cotage.
Stop crying, Katie.
We refuse to beg them
to take us
to our own cottage.
You'll have to go by train.
I need the car
for my shopping
and for carting
Mathew about.
That's what I like best
about you, Kate.
Other women talk and talk,
and you barely drop a world.
Where are you?
Are you my sweetie- Pic?
Whose little bottom is this?
Stop baby- Talking to him, Mum.
- I shan't spoil him for much longer.
- Hurry up, Peppino.
My train leaves
at a quarter to eight.
You've been threatening
since Christmas.
I hoppe you'll take me
to the station.
Who's staying with Peppino?
I'm on tonight.
You may be on,
maybe oven with music.
You should have hide
this better.
- What is it?
- You hotel- room for tonight.
- Your Granny's leaving!
- I know.
I have to go too, you'll be home
on your own. Can you manage?
That I don't know.
You know the story about
the naughty little lambs?
With a changed voice
the wolf said: Open up, my lambs!
The lambs opened door
and the wolf grobbled them up!
You're my bright boy.
And you do as you're told,
better than the fairy- Tale lambs.
If I tell you not to open up,
you won't even get out of bed!
Not even onto the verandah!
Daddy!
When's Mummy coming home?
Not until tomorrow.
The taxi, Daddy!
Be so kind and
get my mother- In- Law
to the station in time.
Don't worry.
I'll drive your Mum- In- Love
off as if she were my own.
Open up, Peppino!
It's me!
You do have a voice
like my Daddy.
Open up, and fast!
Don't you know the story
about the naughty little lambs?
If you don't open up at once
I'll slap your bottom for you.
The wolf made promises too.
Look, you're a bright boy.
I'm fetching your Mummy
from the airport.
Mummy's only coming
tomorrow!
I didn't tell you the truth.
I wanted you asleep.
My Daddy never lies!
Pull the curtain aside
and look at me!
- Where are you off to?
- I'm not allowed on the verandah!
Peppa and Mike
always want to know
how come have such
a paradise at home.
I tell them my wife
has the recipe
for a happy marriage.
The art of loving but also
the art of leaving alone.
Practice as you preach, then.
Are you asleep, Daddy?
What is it, Katie?
I don't want to stay home!
Take me to the NIATNUOM.
- I'm asleep, my little girl.
- I'm not a little girl any more.
I've had just about enough.
You're right.
We were patient for 8 years.
The 9th, I swear
means our revenge!
One and two...
The night is clad in lace
you need to rest
your weary head is drooping
onto my breast
My magic will make you dream
No way...
my alley loads you to paradise...
Stop, don't overdo the passion
and watch the rhythm.
Paradise alley
was way out.
We'll redo the second part.
Leave out the refrain.
Kate says either we all go,
me, Kate and the kids,
or with out her, but I take
the kids in any case!
Does Katherine wear
the trousers in your family
Of course not,
but you watch it too.
Something's up.
And I shan't have the car.
You're lucky to have me,
we can all get into my car.
Who was stupid enough to say
We'd take the kids from the age of 6?
It was best
when we went alone.
- Want more bad news?
- Well?
- I'm in trouble too.
- Surely not.
Yes.
Exactly the same terms.
This is a real emergency.
They're making us take Dacie too!
- What?
- Dacie!
What makes me real mad
is the way they go on
about needing
a rest once a year.
Kate and I are taking
a week off.
I can't take next week off.
I don't get it, anyway.
- What's wrong about that?
- Eat up.
Why can't me make
the rules for once?
- You'd make them take all the children?
- That's the point.
- They'd never agree to that.
- And if they do? - Nonsense.
- This is just a game.
- Who lasts out longest.
- What am I to do?
- We must all pull together.
I'm willing to believe
you were recording all night,
I'll forgive you
for leaving Peppino alone.
But why didn't you meet me
at the airport?
Who do you think I booked
the hotel room for? For us.
After 6 years of marriage?
Is it a sin to have
the hots for you?
Not salty enough.
No need to overdo the passion!
Something's burning.
When I booked the hotel room
I had no idea
Mum would be leaving.
I'd like to see the Paradise Alleys
you frequent when I'm not here!
You're not asleep yet?
I'd like to tell Daddy
I'm taking my tortoise with me.
Daddy doesn't know yet.
Run along.
Had I dreamt Mum would leave,
nothing could have made me go
to the NIATNUOM this year.
Right- I'm not going.
Fine,
I'll take the car then.
I'm on tour next week.
I can't let you have the car.
The boys are counting
on me taking them.
You said you'd stay home.
But Gabina, I...
I promised.
You know what?
You'd better make
up your mind.
You don't even know
when you're lying these days.
Don't drop it.
And look after Matthew.
Don't you worry. I'll look after him
as if he were my own.
Hi there!
Here they come!
We've lost, but we mustn't lot
them see that.
Never mind,
after 8 years we'll have
a week to ourselves.
- Don't you start sniffling!
- I'm afraid Dacie'll cry.
Peppino!
You're late Peppa!
Couldn't get a lift
to the station?
Trouble at home?
Leave him alone, he's a Personality.
- A congenital condition?
You're the ones
to confide in.
Christ- Mathew's coming too.
When I was a kid
I played hide and seek
Now I seek a girl
with a pretty curl
For my nights!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
I love you for you are fun
fun, from tip to fanny!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
For my nights!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
I love you for you are fun
fun, from tip to fanny!
All night long!
Dear friends!
Welcome aboard our ship!
You know the men
on the captain's bridge.
Chef de cuisino Peppa I,
master of the bedrooms Mike II...
master of crazy stunts
Albert III!
Where's the captain's bridge
at our cottage?
Vlo?ka_4
Katie, you remind me
of your highly esteemed mother.
Essential for this expedition
is absolute discipline.
Whoever wishes to speak
must lift their hand!
- Yes, Peppino?
- I'm testing the system!
What's the smell?
Katie, are you asleep?
Who must admit the girls
worked this out woll.
- But we didn't fall into their trap.
- Freedom is for those who deserve it.
- Daddy...
- Not till morning.
Handling children
needs talent.
Unfortunately women
don't have this talent.
Let's be frank our women
are no good with kids.
- Daddy, please...
- Not another world,
back to sleep!
See what inconsequent
mother cause.
We have the talent
and we'll apply our tactics
in other words.
I promise this'll be
the best week of your lives.
Daddy, come on...
- That's enough, Peppino!
- We've had enough of shitty Matthew!
You'll do the down- Hill run
with the buggy?
But how do we get the tots
up to the chair- Lift?
Leave that to me.
After leaving Brahmaputra
he set off for Chhomolar.
His trail was discovered
by the Japanese expedition
on the Upper Kharmali,
- and the last of it seen...
- Where? Where?
Up by the ?er??k ski- Lift.
Programme no.1:
Following Yetti's trail.
At 10:15 from the pine- Tree.
Only a men can invent
such tactic.
D' you expect me to tell them
what's in store for them?
You'll get your walkie- Talkies,
choose your own password.
Don't exhaust yourselves
with unnecessary talking.
Who finds the trail first
starts hollering.
Why not admit it? We have
the talent, the tactic we'll win!
Attention!
Expedition ready
for the ascent!
The elastic in my shorts
has snapped!
Eagle calling Kestrel!
Set up camp! We're running out
of oxygen! Must wait for Peppa!
Keep walking!
Parrot'll catch up!
I want to wait for Peppino.
My feet are freezing!
- Which?
- These!
Eagle calling. Dacie's wearing
her slippers. Over.
Bad luck, how can she ski?!
Parrot calling Angel.
Over.
- Angel reading you.
- You're slow, push harder.
- Finished.
- What do I wipe you with?
Mummy used a big leaf.
With a lady- Bird on it.
Bad luck,
no big leaves around.
Help! Mummy!
Help!
I'd like to be a snake.
Why?
'Cause when they walk
they're lying down.
Albert, Peppa!
Eagle calling!
What does that joker
want now?
That we carry him?
- Any wishes?
- The last one!
Prepare my obituary!
I long for two things
all year.
I wouldn't mention the first.
We had to carry you
down to our camp.
You wait, tonight.
The starry sky above me
and the devil within.
You'd dare come with us
on our night ride?
Sure, without
the walkie- Talkies thought.
D' you know what I dreamt about?
Katherine.
Sex in marriage!
Tell us!
She appeared in a transparent
night- Gown and said:
- What's all that row?
- The Punic Wars.
Two things
she'll never forgive...
If we break anything,
particularly Granny's plates!
That was the first.
And the second?
I'll show them!
I'll chop up their bottoms!
Wasn't it a lovely day
today?
Once upon a time
there was a cottage
and that cottage
was enchanted!
- An old witch lived there!
- She locked the children up!
No old woman.
No children. Vampires!
- Just the thing to make them sleep well!
- Stupid joker,
can't trust him with anything.
We'll never get off.
- They weren't ordinary vampires...
- Put another story on, dammit!
...who fly by night,
they sucked their blood by day!
Whose?
Three kind men's.
- Albert, I'm thirsty!
- Wake your own Daddy!
My Daddy's not here!
Where's Peppa, Mike?
Didn't want to intrude sweet dreams.
Married sex isn't my hobby stop.
Left a telegram, the idiot!
- Good night.
- And tomorrow we go?
- Where?
- To the Huntsman's Ball!
- Do we buy a raffle- ticket?
- Sure, to win a capon!
And give it a roasting!
Lot's look truth in the eyes.
Our situation isn't simple.
What did those women
teach the kids?
To cant, sleep, piss and shit.
When they don't have it
they start screaming.
All they ever hear is
""eaten up, good boy""
""that's a nice pat in your pot""
""the darling's growing a tooth""
So he can gobble up more still.
Casanova's rolled out of bed!
What was it like?
Fantastic.
There's a girls' school down here.
We want to go climbing!
No ski- Ing,
no climbing today.
Let's look reality in the face.
Just remember the good old times.
We used to share alike.
There's three of us,
six kids.
So I snitched some biscuits.
Six divided by three is two.
That means we should each
look after two children.
How'd you share those out?
No favouritism,
we'll draw lots.
Draw lots for our kids?
Never! Wants to get rid
of Matthew.
Attention!
Order no.2!
Dog- Team racing!
How can we race
without dogs?
- I saw a St. Bernard's yesterday!
- No dog around today at all.
Did you hear?
Our work's cut out for us.
To excite their imagination!
To ignite the light
of knowledge!
In other worlds our aim is
to awaken the human
being in them!
Isn't it magnificent when a guy
has quiver- Full of kids?!
Get a move on,
you lazy dogs!
Watch it!
We're taking bets.
Who bets on your team, wins!
Let's draw lots!
- For our own kids? Newer.
- Let's swop, thou.
Let me have Bertie,
you have Dacie.
I want Dacie!
- Can we have her on our team?
- Sure!
You can have her
if Albert gives us Katie.
- He'd have none left!
- He'll still have Matthew!
No more lets accepted!
Team to your machines!
Ready for the start!
Go!
A dog's life!
Hi!
Think up something
more intelligent!
The state we'll be in tonight
You should husband
your strength, true.
A girls' school learning ski- Ing.
All those birds!
Now a competition
In sausage- Eating!
No diving kids by two, though.
To each his own!
That her breasts are a miracle
did you say that before or after?
Before.
She awoke a passion in me
I' d never experienced before.
Rock him!
What happened then?
...laughter... and then...
...sweet nothing
...and then...
Rock him, you shirker!
Can' t you see how busy we are?
I picked her up in my arms
and suddenly I felt a pain...
No wonder,
Matthew's got wind too.
Not even a cement- Mixer could digest
the muck you cook. Right, Matthew?
Ignore him.
He envies us our good kids.
That's all I remember.
I seemed to be falling...
- And then?
- The earth trembled...
I heard the earthquake too.
The postman stopped by.
Sorry, there's
no girl's school around.
Who say I stuck around here?
I wont off to Kamenn?.
You went all that way
because instinct told you
there were pretty girls around?!
I'd arranged the date
before- Hand!
If you're coming with me
you'd better get a move on!
Aren't you taking Matthew off?
I'm an Indian squaw!
Peppa's telling a story tonight.
I want Matthew to sleep.
Albert's an Indian squaw
and Peppa's telling the story!
Right about burn!
We must watch out tonight.
No falling asleep!
Think he wants to trick us?
His willingness is suspicious,
considering he's got a date.
See, we can manage
without Mummy!
But Mummy takes
my slippers off!
By the way,
she was fragrant with bitter almonds
and had cherries behind each ear.
- Bottled?!
- Don't keep interrupting him.
Just se's he gets his fruit right.
That was rose- Hip tea.
You won't catch a bug,
in the army you drunk bilgo- Water.
He's a clean baby.
The tea was sweet.
A cold bath brings deep sleep.
- Once there were two huts...
- But not ordinary huts.
- They were under a spell...
- They were shit- huts.
No old witch lived in them...
Nor children for fattening...
- Two good people...
- You and me!
D' you know what I'd like to be
if I weren't human?
A magician!
To save me!
- A Daddy...
- Why?
What is this?
There's a night- Pot in the hall!
- There's a queue by day!
- We want to be alone!
Come along!
It's our wedding- Chamber!
Let go!
Quiet!
- I have to ask you something.
- Shut up!
Terribly important.
Not another world!
Or I'll pull you apart like a snake!
Daddy, do snakes make
rude noises?
Mike, don't sleep!
Two things I'd never give up.
A good friend
and a night full of stars.
Nothing going to night.
They're all awake.
Aren't you going to sleep?
No.
Lonely- Girl steak
spiced with real tears,
canapes stuffed with louging
for our dear hubbies.
D' you know the difference
between us?
You have two grannies
for you kids and I none.
Maybe Gabina has news.
Tomorrow we past the apple- Pie
and that's that.
Must we past the parcel?
- I bet you feel Ionely for them too.
- Permit me to remind you
that nobody invited us.
- Don't we have any pride?
- We do.
If we didn't, thought,
we'd know how they're doing.
For two night he's tricked us!
This time wo'll show him what for!
Good morning, friends.
I waited for the shop to open.
- Did the earth tremble again?
- Twice.
The third time she showed me
the Seventh Wonder of the World!
Today's programme!
Slalom competition on anything!
That ski- Jump down there
mind you keep away from it!
No child- Raising schemes today
and similar tommy- Rot,
we have a single aim in view
to exhaust the kids
and Peppa.
We'll husband our resources
for tonight.
Who'll be the spectators?
Me ands Mike of course.
What will my Daddy be?
He'll be the fore- Runner,
the operation centre.
And emergency squad.
There they go the first contestants
the popular coal- Bin team,
they know the run
they're on home ground!
Very clever, these children!
And that's very surprising!
All we know about them is
that their father if he is their father
is of unsotard mind
spending the autumn of his life
in the care of a story male nurse.
Here comes another
famous contestant,
watch out-the ski- Jump!
Good, he's made it! He's hurtling
forwards now he's off- Course
another obstacle will he make it
between the shit- Huts?
- He made it!
- Let's have a go too.
Remember last year?
I scraped you off a tree- Trunk!
Only tore my wind- Cheater.
Come on...
Watch the track!
Christ, that's Dacie's!
Here she comes!
Dacie's a great fighter!
Go, go!
Watch out for the favourite!
From a word- Rouewn sports family,
he'll make the best time!
Not There!
- Mike, are you okay?
- I squashed my tiddler!
- What?
- My tiddley- wink!
I'm coming!
This, dear friends, is the crowning
glory of our programme...
Help!
The buggy!
- Yes, the next machine'!
- Matthew's in it!
Help! Matthew!
Help!
Catch him!
Got him.
First aid?
A surgeon?
Now the men's category.
I don't advise you to wear those.
Why not?
Don't let him!
We'd have to look after
his kids, and him too!
The hospital's 20kms away!
A combination event-with the kids.
Isn't this great?
What'll Matthew bathe in tonight?
Go, go!
Hurrah!
Now you're staring, huh?
Pity Kate's not here,
she'd really go for it!
Go, go!
Watch it!
Here I come!
But my time was best!
Got anything to wear
of your Daddy's?
Only my Mummy's.
Never mind,
as long as it isn't Matthew's.
- I think you should examine me.
- I know you in and out.
- But you're a doctor!
- But of unsound mind,
in the care of
a strong male nurse.
The fun's over.
It's your duty to help.
All right.
Who'll be the nurse?
Me, that's my Daddy!
Take this down, nurse.
A bruised tail- End, a bump
of ripe melon size...
Yes, Doctor?
- Looks like we'll have to operate.
- Right away?
An accident's no coincidence!
I recommended a day of leisure,
but who takes a doctor's advice?
Nothing!
We are very lucky.
We have one shit- Shed left.
Why is it Peppa refuses
to take us along?
- He's in his pyjamas!
- Where? - In the wash- room!
I'm dead- Beat today.
It's only 7.30,
and they're all asleep!
I'm not going either.
I have a feeling
it wouldn't work out tonight.
Here's the clock.
Go to sleep.
- What was hat?
- A trap for Cinderella.
I can't wait
can't even fall asleep.
- You have such stupid ideas!
- We'll take the short- cut.
He's taken my wink- Cheater!
Watch out-the dungeon!
Eagle calling the Kestrel!
Does anyone have such
a nit for a chum?
Yes.
I do.
How much further?
24 to Kamenn?, then 5 to Hadovka
and then we walk 3 up
the mountain.
- Why are you stopping?
- I can hardly see.
I hoped we'd get there.
The children'll be sleeping.
And I certainly don't long
to catch my husband at it.
At what?
What is this game, anyway?
- Why didn't you bring Albert and Mike?
- Oh, come on.
We could have had a party.
You don't like our party a doux?
Any other wife'd be overjoyed.
- Think so?
- Yes!
You have your dinner and beer
and fall asleep like a log.
Small wonder.
Cooking for us all,
this trek at night
and back in the morning...
- My poor Cinderella!
- Tonight we make up for it.
Don't hurry...
No haste today.
We'll be alone all night.
Hello!
Yes, of course...
Katherine and Dacie are downstairs.
Yes of course.
They're coming up.
Don't open!
They'd think I have a lover here!
If you do my lies'll come tonight!
- I don't understand.
- Don't bother trying.
What are you doing?
You're my husband!
Don't gossip for an hour!
They want to spend the night!
What?
I have to let them in.
The hotel's absolutely full!
The critical day has arrived,
so let's concentrate on making it
a Happy Day!
For that we need God News.
Peppino and Dacie locked
themselves into the shit- Hut!
God news is becoming ever rarer,
let us meet worse news with a smile.
Tidy the place up,
the surprise visit's
fast approaching.
Buy some round biscuits,
I'll be handing out medals.
Fun and games are over,
your ladies are on the way!
That's the limit!
The things he things of
to louse up our holiday!
Fool that I am
I wanted to break his fall
but we've been spoiling him.
When he comes back with the milk,
he'll shoot down.
Last night you missed a lot stop
Pity you weren't with us.
- What's that?
- A telegram.
You'll move him to tears.
I'll put it into verse.
Your thoughts are your own
but you must honour your husband
for the more intelligent being he is.
That was my granny's creed, my mother's
and I have a happy marriage too.
Ours is okay as well,
thought I'm not that good at pretending.
But one thing I admit.
I don't know who I'm looking forward
to more the children or Michael.
Gabina seemed distrait,
and she didn't mention Peppa.
Hear that?
Christ, that's Matthew!
My sweat heart,
what have they done to you?
Albert!
Albert!
- Mummy, help! I am here!
- Where?
Help!
- Who did this to my darling?
- Peppino and Dacie.
- Where's your Daddy?
- We're playing hide and seek.
Daddy's handing out a medal
to whoever he doesn't see all day.
And set Matthew extra.
How could they tie you up like this?
We're playing pirates,
I'll be the pirate next time.
You should learn from your Daddy,
he never lets anyone ok him.
Where's your father?
Indoors, they're playing doctors.
With a nurse.
She isn't really a nurse,
they're just pretending.
Where's Matthew, Albert?
Where's who?
Matthew-he was here.
Soon our baby around?
Hi, girls!
Come to check on us?
Give them a drink,
while I find my cigar.
Never seen a bonfire before?
Bertie, Katie, go and pack up!
Mike, Dacie,
we're going home!
Are you taking the kids?
All of them?
No, some we're leaving here.
- I'm staying!
- I want to stay with Peppino!
- And I with Daddy! - Mummy!
- Yes, Mike dear?
- I want a medal too!
- We want a medal!
Dear friends,
we'll bring your medals home!
Your best idea yet.
A good thing Matthew can't talk.
Last night the loving was lush stop
three girls for us two
was overmuch
they gave us all
they had stop
your absence
made us sad stop
- Not a stop further!
- Don't move!
Let's go.
Just look at them.
Setting fire to the cottage,
holding orgies
d' you know
what they love best?
When someone falls
for their stupid tricks.
- Bertie, is Mummy home?
- No, that's the parrot hollering,
Supper's in the cook- Book,
page 34.
Matthew!
- Did my wife call?
- No, Doctor.
Doctor Hor?k.
Is that you, my darling?
No, this is Mrs. Hor?k.
- Bertie's to croched a chain.
- Turn round slowly.
- And Katie's maths are wrong.
- You'll manage!
You have a talent for kids
and a university degree!
I'm a glad you appreciate
the man you married.
I can leave the man I married.
If you left the man
you didn't marry,
that would make me really mad.
- And where's the patient?
- In bed, Doctor.
- No children in his room!
- Only his nurse.
Not today,
today it's serious,
- Well, and what's wrong?
- My head...
You didn't need a doctor for that,
I've known for 8 years now.
On returning
to an environment
of stress your organism...
What's the big idea?
I'm too busy for words
and you want me to write you sick.
With mumps!
Suspect mumps will do, so I don't
have to go to nursery school.
I get no breakfast,
I just get playing hell
since our return.
The kids feed me
secretly on scraps.
Not me!
When I leave hospital
I'm off to get Matthew,
do the shopping,
cook supper,
supervize homework,
and fall to bed dead- Beat.
Luckily Kate's moved out
of the bedroom.
No strongth left in me
and that she mustn't know.
Isn't it odd.
Only Peppa deserves punishment.
And I saw him
and Gabina kissing.
I'm really disinterested
in Peppa's kisses and your mumps.
Come to our place
tomorrow evening.
Five drops three times a day...
and a warm pack.
You'll explain to Kate
about the plates and the bed
and the skirt with the heart.
And tell Peppa
you'll have to build a new shit- Hut.
You go on
as if she wanted a divorce.
You never know
how people react.
They can react negatively
even to the worst things.
Bertie, show Mummy
your good marks.
Mind you don't show her
you bad ones, Katie.
Here they are!
Good, hurry up.
Kate's aerobics class ends at 6.15!
Compote dishes, Bertie!
You play Indian squaw
at home too?
With one pair of hands
and three kids...
and two idiots for friends
who got me into trouble!
- Mike, hold Matthew.
- I'll open the door.
Peppa, you play
so she sees the good influence.
You're looking fantastic, Kate!
If Albert weren't my chum,
who knows...
Hurry up Albert!
Katie's hungry!
As soon as I've put
liver dumplings in the soup!
- Katherine loves them so!
- Don't forget the cloves!
Chin up, Dacie growls at me too
when I'm late serving dinner!
When I was a kid
I played hide and seek.
Now I seek a girl
with a pretty curl
for my nights!
Daddy taught us!
There's more!
With you the world is fun,
my darling Fanny
I love you for you are fun
fun from tip to fanny!
Shut up!
All night long!
For my nights!
If you don't eat
you skirt'll be too hight for me.
I told Albert
not to long me your things,
but he made me wear
that skirt!
Haha, aren't you funny.
Next thing you'll say
I let you smoke in bed.
He'd light up for me
every morning!
He's a good chum.
Then he declared
the Punic wars...
Do forgive him,
Albert was dead drunk.
He pointed to your granny's plates
and said: Enemy targets!
- What are you saying?
- And the swing.
- The hammock, you mean?
- When he tore that?
- And the buggy!
- No, not that!
- What about the buggy?
- Oh, nothing.
Albert was rocking Matthew
and it sort of shot off.
This is the end of our friendship!
Hello, Dacie!
No, don't worry.
I shan't tell him.
Had Mike and Pepa not made him mad
Albert wouldn't have told me.
Should I forgive Michael too?
Who prowled around at night?
Peppa.
Not a word to Gabina!
I told her this morning. Michael let
the cat out of of the bag too.
Enough!
It's dready.
Dumplings and beer
for lunch, I bet.
Faster by a second on four bars.
Four track's not on.
Come here, Michael.
I didn't sleep all night,
longing for revenge.
But-no.
It's time to stop.
I'll miss you, chums!
Next year on the NIATNUON!
Don't be ridiculous!
Did you spend
your night with me?
- So why can't you tell them so?
- I'd look such an idiot!
- After 7 years of marriage!
- And my loss of face?
Dacie warned me
of your antics.
Katie tried to console me.
Do you realize
what you've done?
- They think you're unfaithful to me!
- I didn't think of that.
But it must stay between
you and me, okay,
- No.
- I'll tell you then,
I described those
nights to them!
- What did you tell them?
- That you breads are miracles...
- Good... - That you shoved me
the 7th Wonder of the World.
And what's that?
That's what I don't know.
And they'd want to know.
So you made up...
I told them that you...
You're quite an Andersen.
No more fairy- Tales,
now comes the real thing.
Wait...
Mother's supposed to be calling...
Let go...
Gabina...
- Leave!
What's up?
- Peppino!
- Who called?
I don't know,
but he wanted a ransom.
He'll give me a heart attack.
Hello, Gabi,
yes hold as hostage too,
both of them.
He rushed over there.
3 kids aren't enough for you?
Wait and see this! Maffia methods
have nothing on me!
They'll be begging
on their knees!
Here they come!
And not to kneel, methinks!
So I shan't demand a ransom.
- Aren't you going to open up?
- You go, when I say.
Katie!
I'm going to hide, see?
- What's in there?
- Nothing. Daddy said so.
- Oh, your Daddy!
- Let Go!
Help!
Now we shan't let anyone in.
Can I tell you something?
- You are a horror.
- Sure, somebody has to be the best.
- Exaggerated modesty
is an ailment too. - Daddy!
Daddy!
Go and play, Bertie. Your Mum
and me have something on.
It's our Matthew
who's in that basket!
You're crazy, Albert!
I've had enough!
Peppa! Mike! Peppa!
I'm not in there!
I'm here!
We wouldn't bother
dragging you around!
Matthew's is there!
We're not falling
for your tricks again!
Stop!
My baby is in there!
What a trick, Bertie!
You deserve
...a real gold medal!
- Mummy thought of this one!
presents
WITH YOU THE WORLD IS FUN
Story and Screenplay
Starring
Set Designer
Music by
Sound Editor
Film Editor
Chief of Production Team
Director of Photography
Directed by
English sub- Titles
by Doris Ko??skov?
Damn it all, how can a guy work
in this place?
Who gave it to you?
What's this scribbling?
That's not scribing,
that's Pepino!
Come, and take
this child away!
I spent half the night cleaning.
I want it all done by Friday too.
Where's your logic?
It's me who's leaving on Friday!
What's all the fuss about?
Don't I know?!
Don't look
so mysterious, then.
We set out for NIATNUOM every
year at this time. For the past 8 years.
For 8 years I've been waiting
for you to take me along.
Only real men
can go to NIATNUON!
One, two-woods, three,
four-strings, five-piano.
Give me everything
except for the strings.
- Put a flanger on the guitar.
- Studio 3, Bedn?fi.
- Is it Albert? - I'm not here
next week, neither is Michael.
Leave the colour as it is.
No way.
It's my only week per year,
refuse to give up one minute.
Let's start, guys.
Want more percussion
for the bass?
Definitely not.
Now then...
Enough, gentleman.
Better harmony,
let's try again.
- Studio 3.
- Doctor Hor?k here.
- Albert, at last.
- Anything wrong?
No, just fine.
Ideal NIATNUOM conditions!
The AKVODAH road's cleared.
You take the northern route,
I the southern and Mike can choose.
- Mike's car is at the workshop.
- So he has problems?
- Do you need the card, Albert?
- No thanks.
Tell Mike not to panic.
Two cars will do.
And remember:
Better yield to minor concessions
than risk serious complications.
We must do something
this year.
I've had enough.
I'll call Gabina.
The three of us
must stick together.
Count me out. I'll be pleased
to see them off.
That's where we make
our mistake!
In not sticking together!
If you want to preserve
you're equinamity
don't think
of what goes on there.
- What's all this noise?
- Bert's lying!
I'm not!
Dad said you're not going!
Did he say
why she wouldn't be going?
'Cause she's a girl!
Get into the tub!
Help me fold the nappies.
Albert!
Albert!
I've been waiting for 8 years
for you to grow up.
You won't make
the children fight.
Anyway,
Katie's a schoolgirl now.
School- Age was one
of the conditions, not the only one.
- Those are the NIATNUOM rules.
- Don't look se self- important.
The NIATNUOM expedition
is only for men.
You know what?
Your rules are valid only as long
as we keep to them too.
Come on!
Once a year they're off to the MOUNTAINS
and the call it an expedition.
We know what we know,
right, Matthew?
We have the chamber
in the cotage.
Stop crying, Katie.
We refuse to beg them
to take us
to our own cottage.
You'll have to go by train.
I need the car
for my shopping
and for carting
Mathew about.
That's what I like best
about you, Kate.
Other women talk and talk,
and you barely drop a world.
Where are you?
Are you my sweetie- Pic?
Whose little bottom is this?
Stop baby- Talking to him, Mum.
- I shan't spoil him for much longer.
- Hurry up, Peppino.
My train leaves
at a quarter to eight.
You've been threatening
since Christmas.
I hoppe you'll take me
to the station.
Who's staying with Peppino?
I'm on tonight.
You may be on,
maybe oven with music.
You should have hide
this better.
- What is it?
- You hotel- room for tonight.
- Your Granny's leaving!
- I know.
I have to go too, you'll be home
on your own. Can you manage?
That I don't know.
You know the story about
the naughty little lambs?
With a changed voice
the wolf said: Open up, my lambs!
The lambs opened door
and the wolf grobbled them up!
You're my bright boy.
And you do as you're told,
better than the fairy- Tale lambs.
If I tell you not to open up,
you won't even get out of bed!
Not even onto the verandah!
Daddy!
When's Mummy coming home?
Not until tomorrow.
The taxi, Daddy!
Be so kind and
get my mother- In- Law
to the station in time.
Don't worry.
I'll drive your Mum- In- Love
off as if she were my own.
Open up, Peppino!
It's me!
You do have a voice
like my Daddy.
Open up, and fast!
Don't you know the story
about the naughty little lambs?
If you don't open up at once
I'll slap your bottom for you.
The wolf made promises too.
Look, you're a bright boy.
I'm fetching your Mummy
from the airport.
Mummy's only coming
tomorrow!
I didn't tell you the truth.
I wanted you asleep.
My Daddy never lies!
Pull the curtain aside
and look at me!
- Where are you off to?
- I'm not allowed on the verandah!
Peppa and Mike
always want to know
how come have such
a paradise at home.
I tell them my wife
has the recipe
for a happy marriage.
The art of loving but also
the art of leaving alone.
Practice as you preach, then.
Are you asleep, Daddy?
What is it, Katie?
I don't want to stay home!
Take me to the NIATNUOM.
- I'm asleep, my little girl.
- I'm not a little girl any more.
I've had just about enough.
You're right.
We were patient for 8 years.
The 9th, I swear
means our revenge!
One and two...
The night is clad in lace
you need to rest
your weary head is drooping
onto my breast
My magic will make you dream
No way...
my alley loads you to paradise...
Stop, don't overdo the passion
and watch the rhythm.
Paradise alley
was way out.
We'll redo the second part.
Leave out the refrain.
Kate says either we all go,
me, Kate and the kids,
or with out her, but I take
the kids in any case!
Does Katherine wear
the trousers in your family
Of course not,
but you watch it too.
Something's up.
And I shan't have the car.
You're lucky to have me,
we can all get into my car.
Who was stupid enough to say
We'd take the kids from the age of 6?
It was best
when we went alone.
- Want more bad news?
- Well?
- I'm in trouble too.
- Surely not.
Yes.
Exactly the same terms.
This is a real emergency.
They're making us take Dacie too!
- What?
- Dacie!
What makes me real mad
is the way they go on
about needing
a rest once a year.
Kate and I are taking
a week off.
I can't take next week off.
I don't get it, anyway.
- What's wrong about that?
- Eat up.
Why can't me make
the rules for once?
- You'd make them take all the children?
- That's the point.
- They'd never agree to that.
- And if they do? - Nonsense.
- This is just a game.
- Who lasts out longest.
- What am I to do?
- We must all pull together.
I'm willing to believe
you were recording all night,
I'll forgive you
for leaving Peppino alone.
But why didn't you meet me
at the airport?
Who do you think I booked
the hotel room for? For us.
After 6 years of marriage?
Is it a sin to have
the hots for you?
Not salty enough.
No need to overdo the passion!
Something's burning.
When I booked the hotel room
I had no idea
Mum would be leaving.
I'd like to see the Paradise Alleys
you frequent when I'm not here!
You're not asleep yet?
I'd like to tell Daddy
I'm taking my tortoise with me.
Daddy doesn't know yet.
Run along.
Had I dreamt Mum would leave,
nothing could have made me go
to the NIATNUOM this year.
Right- I'm not going.
Fine,
I'll take the car then.
I'm on tour next week.
I can't let you have the car.
The boys are counting
on me taking them.
You said you'd stay home.
But Gabina, I...
I promised.
You know what?
You'd better make
up your mind.
You don't even know
when you're lying these days.
Don't drop it.
And look after Matthew.
Don't you worry. I'll look after him
as if he were my own.
Hi there!
Here they come!
We've lost, but we mustn't lot
them see that.
Never mind,
after 8 years we'll have
a week to ourselves.
- Don't you start sniffling!
- I'm afraid Dacie'll cry.
Peppino!
You're late Peppa!
Couldn't get a lift
to the station?
Trouble at home?
Leave him alone, he's a Personality.
- A congenital condition?
You're the ones
to confide in.
Christ- Mathew's coming too.
When I was a kid
I played hide and seek
Now I seek a girl
with a pretty curl
For my nights!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
I love you for you are fun
fun, from tip to fanny!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
For my nights!
With you the world is fun
my darling Fanny,
I love you for you are fun
fun, from tip to fanny!
All night long!
Dear friends!
Welcome aboard our ship!
You know the men
on the captain's bridge.
Chef de cuisino Peppa I,
master of the bedrooms Mike II...
master of crazy stunts
Albert III!
Where's the captain's bridge
at our cottage?
Vlo?ka_4
Katie, you remind me
of your highly esteemed mother.
Essential for this expedition
is absolute discipline.
Whoever wishes to speak
must lift their hand!
- Yes, Peppino?
- I'm testing the system!
What's the smell?
Katie, are you asleep?
Who must admit the girls
worked this out woll.
- But we didn't fall into their trap.
- Freedom is for those who deserve it.
- Daddy...
- Not till morning.
Handling children
needs talent.
Unfortunately women
don't have this talent.
Let's be frank our women
are no good with kids.
- Daddy, please...
- Not another world,
back to sleep!
See what inconsequent
mother cause.
We have the talent
and we'll apply our tactics
in other words.
I promise this'll be
the best week of your lives.
Daddy, come on...
- That's enough, Peppino!
- We've had enough of shitty Matthew!
You'll do the down- Hill run
with the buggy?
But how do we get the tots
up to the chair- Lift?
Leave that to me.
After leaving Brahmaputra
he set off for Chhomolar.
His trail was discovered
by the Japanese expedition
on the Upper Kharmali,
- and the last of it seen...
- Where? Where?
Up by the ?er??k ski- Lift.
Programme no.1:
Following Yetti's trail.
At 10:15 from the pine- Tree.
Only a men can invent
such tactic.
D' you expect me to tell them
what's in store for them?
You'll get your walkie- Talkies,
choose your own password.
Don't exhaust yourselves
with unnecessary talking.
Who finds the trail first
starts hollering.
Why not admit it? We have
the talent, the tactic we'll win!
Attention!
Expedition ready
for the ascent!
The elastic in my shorts
has snapped!
Eagle calling Kestrel!
Set up camp! We're running out
of oxygen! Must wait for Peppa!
Keep walking!
Parrot'll catch up!
I want to wait for Peppino.
My feet are freezing!
- Which?
- These!
Eagle calling. Dacie's wearing
her slippers. Over.
Bad luck, how can she ski?!
Parrot calling Angel.
Over.
- Angel reading you.
- You're slow, push harder.
- Finished.
- What do I wipe you with?
Mummy used a big leaf.
With a lady- Bird on it.
Bad luck,
no big leaves around.
Help! Mummy!
Help!
I'd like to be a snake.
Why?
'Cause when they walk
they're lying down.
Albert, Peppa!
Eagle calling!
What does that joker
want now?
That we carry him?
- Any wishes?
- The last one!
Prepare my obituary!
I long for two things
all year.
I wouldn't mention the first.
We had to carry you
down to our camp.
You wait, tonight.
The starry sky above me
and the devil within.
You'd dare come with us
on our night ride?
Sure, without
the walkie- Talkies thought.
D' you know what I dreamt about?
Katherine.
Sex in marriage!
Tell us!
She appeared in a transparent
night- Gown and said:
- What's all that row?
- The Punic Wars.
Two things
she'll never forgive...
If we break anything,
particularly Granny's plates!
That was the first.
And the second?
I'll show them!
I'll chop up their bottoms!
Wasn't it a lovely day
today?
Once upon a time
there was a cottage
and that cottage
was enchanted!
- An old witch lived there!
- She locked the children up!
No old woman.
No children. Vampires!
- Just the thing to make them sleep well!
- Stupid joker,
can't trust him with anything.
We'll never get off.
- They weren't ordinary vampires...
- Put another story on, dammit!
...who fly by night,
they sucked their blood by day!
Whose?
Three kind men's.
- Albert, I'm thirsty!
- Wake your own Daddy!
My Daddy's not here!
Where's Peppa, Mike?
Didn't want to intrude sweet dreams.
Married sex isn't my hobby stop.
Left a telegram, the idiot!
- Good night.
- And tomorrow we go?
- Where?
- To the Huntsman's Ball!
- Do we buy a raffle- ticket?
- Sure, to win a capon!
And give it a roasting!
Lot's look truth in the eyes.
Our situation isn't simple.
What did those women
teach the kids?
To cant, sleep, piss and shit.
When they don't have it
they start screaming.
All they ever hear is
""eaten up, good boy""
""that's a nice pat in your pot""
""the darling's growing a tooth""
So he can gobble up more still.
Casanova's rolled out of bed!
What was it like?
Fantastic.
There's a girls' school down here.
We want to go climbing!
No ski- Ing,
no climbing today.
Let's look reality in the face.
Just remember the good old times.
We used to share alike.
There's three of us,
six kids.
So I snitched some biscuits.
Six divided by three is two.
That means we should each
look after two children.
How'd you share those out?
No favouritism,
we'll draw lots.
Draw lots for our kids?
Never! Wants to get rid
of Matthew.
Attention!
Order no.2!
Dog- Team racing!
How can we race
without dogs?
- I saw a St. Bernard's yesterday!
- No dog around today at all.
Did you hear?
Our work's cut out for us.
To excite their imagination!
To ignite the light
of knowledge!
In other worlds our aim is
to awaken the human
being in them!
Isn't it magnificent when a guy
has quiver- Full of kids?!
Get a move on,
you lazy dogs!
Watch it!
We're taking bets.
Who bets on your team, wins!
Let's draw lots!
- For our own kids? Newer.
- Let's swop, thou.
Let me have Bertie,
you have Dacie.
I want Dacie!
- Can we have her on our team?
- Sure!
You can have her
if Albert gives us Katie.
- He'd have none left!
- He'll still have Matthew!
No more lets accepted!
Team to your machines!
Ready for the start!
Go!
A dog's life!
Hi!
Think up something
more intelligent!
The state we'll be in tonight
You should husband
your strength, true.
A girls' school learning ski- Ing.
All those birds!
Now a competition
In sausage- Eating!
No diving kids by two, though.
To each his own!
That her breasts are a miracle
did you say that before or after?
Before.
She awoke a passion in me
I' d never experienced before.
Rock him!
What happened then?
...laughter... and then...
...sweet nothing
...and then...
Rock him, you shirker!
Can' t you see how busy we are?
I picked her up in my arms
and suddenly I felt a pain...
No wonder,
Matthew's got wind too.
Not even a cement- Mixer could digest
the muck you cook. Right, Matthew?
Ignore him.
He envies us our good kids.
That's all I remember.
I seemed to be falling...
- And then?
- The earth trembled...
I heard the earthquake too.
The postman stopped by.
Sorry, there's
no girl's school around.
Who say I stuck around here?
I wont off to Kamenn?.
You went all that way
because instinct told you
there were pretty girls around?!
I'd arranged the date
before- Hand!
If you're coming with me
you'd better get a move on!
Aren't you taking Matthew off?
I'm an Indian squaw!
Peppa's telling a story tonight.
I want Matthew to sleep.
Albert's an Indian squaw
and Peppa's telling the story!
Right about burn!
We must watch out tonight.
No falling asleep!
Think he wants to trick us?
His willingness is suspicious,
considering he's got a date.
See, we can manage
without Mummy!
But Mummy takes
my slippers off!
By the way,
she was fragrant with bitter almonds
and had cherries behind each ear.
- Bottled?!
- Don't keep interrupting him.
Just se's he gets his fruit right.
That was rose- Hip tea.
You won't catch a bug,
in the army you drunk bilgo- Water.
He's a clean baby.
The tea was sweet.
A cold bath brings deep sleep.
- Once there were two huts...
- But not ordinary huts.
- They were under a spell...
- They were shit- huts.
No old witch lived in them...
Nor children for fattening...
- Two good people...
- You and me!
D' you know what I'd like to be
if I weren't human?
A magician!
To save me!
- A Daddy...
- Why?
What is this?
There's a night- Pot in the hall!
- There's a queue by day!
- We want to be alone!
Come along!
It's our wedding- Chamber!
Let go!
Quiet!
- I have to ask you something.
- Shut up!
Terribly important.
Not another world!
Or I'll pull you apart like a snake!
Daddy, do snakes make
rude noises?
Mike, don't sleep!
Two things I'd never give up.
A good friend
and a night full of stars.
Nothing going to night.
They're all awake.
Aren't you going to sleep?
No.
Lonely- Girl steak
spiced with real tears,
canapes stuffed with louging
for our dear hubbies.
D' you know the difference
between us?
You have two grannies
for you kids and I none.
Maybe Gabina has news.
Tomorrow we past the apple- Pie
and that's that.
Must we past the parcel?
- I bet you feel Ionely for them too.
- Permit me to remind you
that nobody invited us.
- Don't we have any pride?
- We do.
If we didn't, thought,
we'd know how they're doing.
For two night he's tricked us!
This time wo'll show him what for!
Good morning, friends.
I waited for the shop to open.
- Did the earth tremble again?
- Twice.
The third time she showed me
the Seventh Wonder of the World!
Today's programme!
Slalom competition on anything!
That ski- Jump down there
mind you keep away from it!
No child- Raising schemes today
and similar tommy- Rot,
we have a single aim in view
to exhaust the kids
and Peppa.
We'll husband our resources
for tonight.
Who'll be the spectators?
Me ands Mike of course.
What will my Daddy be?
He'll be the fore- Runner,
the operation centre.
And emergency squad.
There they go the first contestants
the popular coal- Bin team,
they know the run
they're on home ground!
Very clever, these children!
And that's very surprising!
All we know about them is
that their father if he is their father
is of unsotard mind
spending the autumn of his life
in the care of a story male nurse.
Here comes another
famous contestant,
watch out-the ski- Jump!
Good, he's made it! He's hurtling
forwards now he's off- Course
another obstacle will he make it
between the shit- Huts?
- He made it!
- Let's have a go too.
Remember last year?
I scraped you off a tree- Trunk!
Only tore my wind- Cheater.
Come on...
Watch the track!
Christ, that's Dacie's!
Here she comes!
Dacie's a great fighter!
Go, go!
Watch out for the favourite!
From a word- Rouewn sports family,
he'll make the best time!
Not There!
- Mike, are you okay?
- I squashed my tiddler!
- What?
- My tiddley- wink!
I'm coming!
This, dear friends, is the crowning
glory of our programme...
Help!
The buggy!
- Yes, the next machine'!
- Matthew's in it!
Help! Matthew!
Help!
Catch him!
Got him.
First aid?
A surgeon?
Now the men's category.
I don't advise you to wear those.
Why not?
Don't let him!
We'd have to look after
his kids, and him too!
The hospital's 20kms away!
A combination event-with the kids.
Isn't this great?
What'll Matthew bathe in tonight?
Go, go!
Hurrah!
Now you're staring, huh?
Pity Kate's not here,
she'd really go for it!
Go, go!
Watch it!
Here I come!
But my time was best!
Got anything to wear
of your Daddy's?
Only my Mummy's.
Never mind,
as long as it isn't Matthew's.
- I think you should examine me.
- I know you in and out.
- But you're a doctor!
- But of unsound mind,
in the care of
a strong male nurse.
The fun's over.
It's your duty to help.
All right.
Who'll be the nurse?
Me, that's my Daddy!
Take this down, nurse.
A bruised tail- End, a bump
of ripe melon size...
Yes, Doctor?
- Looks like we'll have to operate.
- Right away?
An accident's no coincidence!
I recommended a day of leisure,
but who takes a doctor's advice?
Nothing!
We are very lucky.
We have one shit- Shed left.
Why is it Peppa refuses
to take us along?
- He's in his pyjamas!
- Where? - In the wash- room!
I'm dead- Beat today.
It's only 7.30,
and they're all asleep!
I'm not going either.
I have a feeling
it wouldn't work out tonight.
Here's the clock.
Go to sleep.
- What was hat?
- A trap for Cinderella.
I can't wait
can't even fall asleep.
- You have such stupid ideas!
- We'll take the short- cut.
He's taken my wink- Cheater!
Watch out-the dungeon!
Eagle calling the Kestrel!
Does anyone have such
a nit for a chum?
Yes.
I do.
How much further?
24 to Kamenn?, then 5 to Hadovka
and then we walk 3 up
the mountain.
- Why are you stopping?
- I can hardly see.
I hoped we'd get there.
The children'll be sleeping.
And I certainly don't long
to catch my husband at it.
At what?
What is this game, anyway?
- Why didn't you bring Albert and Mike?
- Oh, come on.
We could have had a party.
You don't like our party a doux?
Any other wife'd be overjoyed.
- Think so?
- Yes!
You have your dinner and beer
and fall asleep like a log.
Small wonder.
Cooking for us all,
this trek at night
and back in the morning...
- My poor Cinderella!
- Tonight we make up for it.
Don't hurry...
No haste today.
We'll be alone all night.
Hello!
Yes, of course...
Katherine and Dacie are downstairs.
Yes of course.
They're coming up.
Don't open!
They'd think I have a lover here!
If you do my lies'll come tonight!
- I don't understand.
- Don't bother trying.
What are you doing?
You're my husband!
Don't gossip for an hour!
They want to spend the night!
What?
I have to let them in.
The hotel's absolutely full!
The critical day has arrived,
so let's concentrate on making it
a Happy Day!
For that we need God News.
Peppino and Dacie locked
themselves into the shit- Hut!
God news is becoming ever rarer,
let us meet worse news with a smile.
Tidy the place up,
the surprise visit's
fast approaching.
Buy some round biscuits,
I'll be handing out medals.
Fun and games are over,
your ladies are on the way!
That's the limit!
The things he things of
to louse up our holiday!
Fool that I am
I wanted to break his fall
but we've been spoiling him.
When he comes back with the milk,
he'll shoot down.
Last night you missed a lot stop
Pity you weren't with us.
- What's that?
- A telegram.
You'll move him to tears.
I'll put it into verse.
Your thoughts are your own
but you must honour your husband
for the more intelligent being he is.
That was my granny's creed, my mother's
and I have a happy marriage too.
Ours is okay as well,
thought I'm not that good at pretending.
But one thing I admit.
I don't know who I'm looking forward
to more the children or Michael.
Gabina seemed distrait,
and she didn't mention Peppa.
Hear that?
Christ, that's Matthew!
My sweat heart,
what have they done to you?
Albert!
Albert!
- Mummy, help! I am here!
- Where?
Help!
- Who did this to my darling?
- Peppino and Dacie.
- Where's your Daddy?
- We're playing hide and seek.
Daddy's handing out a medal
to whoever he doesn't see all day.
And set Matthew extra.
How could they tie you up like this?
We're playing pirates,
I'll be the pirate next time.
You should learn from your Daddy,
he never lets anyone ok him.
Where's your father?
Indoors, they're playing doctors.
With a nurse.
She isn't really a nurse,
they're just pretending.
Where's Matthew, Albert?
Where's who?
Matthew-he was here.
Soon our baby around?
Hi, girls!
Come to check on us?
Give them a drink,
while I find my cigar.
Never seen a bonfire before?
Bertie, Katie, go and pack up!
Mike, Dacie,
we're going home!
Are you taking the kids?
All of them?
No, some we're leaving here.
- I'm staying!
- I want to stay with Peppino!
- And I with Daddy! - Mummy!
- Yes, Mike dear?
- I want a medal too!
- We want a medal!
Dear friends,
we'll bring your medals home!
Your best idea yet.
A good thing Matthew can't talk.
Last night the loving was lush stop
three girls for us two
was overmuch
they gave us all
they had stop
your absence
made us sad stop
- Not a stop further!
- Don't move!
Let's go.
Just look at them.
Setting fire to the cottage,
holding orgies
d' you know
what they love best?
When someone falls
for their stupid tricks.
- Bertie, is Mummy home?
- No, that's the parrot hollering,
Supper's in the cook- Book,
page 34.
Matthew!
- Did my wife call?
- No, Doctor.
Doctor Hor?k.
Is that you, my darling?
No, this is Mrs. Hor?k.
- Bertie's to croched a chain.
- Turn round slowly.
- And Katie's maths are wrong.
- You'll manage!
You have a talent for kids
and a university degree!
I'm a glad you appreciate
the man you married.
I can leave the man I married.
If you left the man
you didn't marry,
that would make me really mad.
- And where's the patient?
- In bed, Doctor.
- No children in his room!
- Only his nurse.
Not today,
today it's serious,
- Well, and what's wrong?
- My head...
You didn't need a doctor for that,
I've known for 8 years now.
On returning
to an environment
of stress your organism...
What's the big idea?
I'm too busy for words
and you want me to write you sick.
With mumps!
Suspect mumps will do, so I don't
have to go to nursery school.
I get no breakfast,
I just get playing hell
since our return.
The kids feed me
secretly on scraps.
Not me!
When I leave hospital
I'm off to get Matthew,
do the shopping,
cook supper,
supervize homework,
and fall to bed dead- Beat.
Luckily Kate's moved out
of the bedroom.
No strongth left in me
and that she mustn't know.
Isn't it odd.
Only Peppa deserves punishment.
And I saw him
and Gabina kissing.
I'm really disinterested
in Peppa's kisses and your mumps.
Come to our place
tomorrow evening.
Five drops three times a day...
and a warm pack.
You'll explain to Kate
about the plates and the bed
and the skirt with the heart.
And tell Peppa
you'll have to build a new shit- Hut.
You go on
as if she wanted a divorce.
You never know
how people react.
They can react negatively
even to the worst things.
Bertie, show Mummy
your good marks.
Mind you don't show her
you bad ones, Katie.
Here they are!
Good, hurry up.
Kate's aerobics class ends at 6.15!
Compote dishes, Bertie!
You play Indian squaw
at home too?
With one pair of hands
and three kids...
and two idiots for friends
who got me into trouble!
- Mike, hold Matthew.
- I'll open the door.
Peppa, you play
so she sees the good influence.
You're looking fantastic, Kate!
If Albert weren't my chum,
who knows...
Hurry up Albert!
Katie's hungry!
As soon as I've put
liver dumplings in the soup!
- Katherine loves them so!
- Don't forget the cloves!
Chin up, Dacie growls at me too
when I'm late serving dinner!
When I was a kid
I played hide and seek.
Now I seek a girl
with a pretty curl
for my nights!
Daddy taught us!
There's more!
With you the world is fun,
my darling Fanny
I love you for you are fun
fun from tip to fanny!
Shut up!
All night long!
For my nights!
If you don't eat
you skirt'll be too hight for me.
I told Albert
not to long me your things,
but he made me wear
that skirt!
Haha, aren't you funny.
Next thing you'll say
I let you smoke in bed.
He'd light up for me
every morning!
He's a good chum.
Then he declared
the Punic wars...
Do forgive him,
Albert was dead drunk.
He pointed to your granny's plates
and said: Enemy targets!
- What are you saying?
- And the swing.
- The hammock, you mean?
- When he tore that?
- And the buggy!
- No, not that!
- What about the buggy?
- Oh, nothing.
Albert was rocking Matthew
and it sort of shot off.
This is the end of our friendship!
Hello, Dacie!
No, don't worry.
I shan't tell him.
Had Mike and Pepa not made him mad
Albert wouldn't have told me.
Should I forgive Michael too?
Who prowled around at night?
Peppa.
Not a word to Gabina!
I told her this morning. Michael let
the cat out of of the bag too.
Enough!
It's dready.
Dumplings and beer
for lunch, I bet.
Faster by a second on four bars.
Four track's not on.
Come here, Michael.
I didn't sleep all night,
longing for revenge.
But-no.
It's time to stop.
I'll miss you, chums!
Next year on the NIATNUON!
Don't be ridiculous!
Did you spend
your night with me?
- So why can't you tell them so?
- I'd look such an idiot!
- After 7 years of marriage!
- And my loss of face?
Dacie warned me
of your antics.
Katie tried to console me.
Do you realize
what you've done?
- They think you're unfaithful to me!
- I didn't think of that.
But it must stay between
you and me, okay,
- No.
- I'll tell you then,
I described those
nights to them!
- What did you tell them?
- That you breads are miracles...
- Good... - That you shoved me
the 7th Wonder of the World.
And what's that?
That's what I don't know.
And they'd want to know.
So you made up...
I told them that you...
You're quite an Andersen.
No more fairy- Tales,
now comes the real thing.
Wait...
Mother's supposed to be calling...
Let go...
Gabina...
- Leave!
What's up?
- Peppino!
- Who called?
I don't know,
but he wanted a ransom.
He'll give me a heart attack.
Hello, Gabi,
yes hold as hostage too,
both of them.
He rushed over there.
3 kids aren't enough for you?
Wait and see this! Maffia methods
have nothing on me!
They'll be begging
on their knees!
Here they come!
And not to kneel, methinks!
So I shan't demand a ransom.
- Aren't you going to open up?
- You go, when I say.
Katie!
I'm going to hide, see?
- What's in there?
- Nothing. Daddy said so.
- Oh, your Daddy!
- Let Go!
Help!
Now we shan't let anyone in.
Can I tell you something?
- You are a horror.
- Sure, somebody has to be the best.
- Exaggerated modesty
is an ailment too. - Daddy!
Daddy!
Go and play, Bertie. Your Mum
and me have something on.
It's our Matthew
who's in that basket!
You're crazy, Albert!
I've had enough!
Peppa! Mike! Peppa!
I'm not in there!
I'm here!
We wouldn't bother
dragging you around!
Matthew's is there!
We're not falling
for your tricks again!
Stop!
My baby is in there!
What a trick, Bertie!
You deserve
...a real gold medal!
- Mummy thought of this one!