I Am from Austria (2019) - full transcript
Elfie, you do understand
she insists on absolute discretion?
As a concierge,
I practically ooze discretion.
We don't have guests like this every day.
A Hollywood star from Austria!
Just like my friend Romy Schneider was!
You knew Romy Schneider?
Knew her? She stole
the part of a lifetime from me!
The role of Sissi?
"La Piscine"!
We can't have anything go wrong today!
And speaking of things going wrong,
where's my son? Hallo,
Mama'.
- dos“!
You're late!
And just look at you!
Have you been up all night?
It was in a good cause.
That's what my first husband
always used to say.
What about Emma Carter's rooms?
Immaculate!
My God, if all goes well
we might get our fifth star at last!
Josi, your car's
still parked in the driveway.
In this hotel we don't shout, young man!
Go easy on him,
he's still wet behind the ears.
I'll move it in a minute!
Can I do it?
Please, Josi, I'm old enough!
You might be, but the car isn't.
All right, people!
Emma Carter will be arriving
any minute now.
No one must know she's staying here.
Absolutely no one!
Otherwise the hotel
will be invaded by hangers-on...
and we can kiss discretion goodbye.
I'm relying on you!
Don't tell me you've told someone?
I didn't tell anyone exactly,
I just twittered...
You did what?!!
Oh wonderful, it's the smart set!
Deeply tanned all over
bodies buff and toned
Our masculinity
leaps out at you.
We're always laid back,
chic and elegant,
unbelievably cool,
amazingly fascinating,
And the chicks cling to us
non-stop like limpets...
because we've got, though we
don't want to boast, certain attributes.
2, 3, 4.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit...
we're a tour de force
we've got "it"
Darling, have I missed something?
Nothing important.
Just that we're ruined.
Just a quickie, all right?!
We're at home
in the smart set
because we're better than you...
we're where it's at because
we've got the power, we're cool...
when we get bored,
we just jet off to the sun...
and surf around
expertly on the waves.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit...
we're a tour de force
we've got "it".
Wait till I get my hands
on the person responsible!
Frau Edler, I've got
a confession to make...
No, it was me!
You?! We'll discuss this later!
Thank you, Josi. You're a bro!
But why did you do that?
It's my bleeding heart.
We don't give a Hugo Boss about money,
we can pay the de la Renta
because daddy's got
a gold-plated hedge fund.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit,
we're a tour de
force we've got "it"...
here in Vienna.
Emma, this is the first time
you've come back to Austria in years.
Have you gone off the place?
Emma Carter is delighted
to be back here again.
Welcome to the Edler Hotel. Our family...
Ms Carter is very tired
after her long flight
and needs to take a rest.
Thank you.
Keys!
I show her to her suite personally...
You're coming to my office,
Franz-Joseph Edler!
When your mother uses your full name,
YOU jump to it.
The same applies to husbands.
How can anyone be so stupid?
He meant well...
Er, I mean, I meant well!
The Hotel Edler
stands for tradition, style and...
Outdated attitudes?
Discretion!
She wanted to stay here incognito!
And you?
And you drag that rabble into the place!
She'll survive.
Next week, Miss Superdiva
will be back in L.A.
and have forgotten all about us.
You put our reputation on the line.
What if Emma Carter criticizes
the hotel to the press?
Put your mind to sorting this mess out.
For years we've been working
to become a five-star hotel.
To join the élite!
Josi, we only need another half a star!
Instead of reaching for the stars,
you should move with the times.
What's the matter with you today?
We don't even have a Facebook page.
They're vulgar.
You know what else is important
these days? Flexibility!
But we are flexible.
We let you redesign the fitness room.
Oh yes, that awful gym.
That's what today's guests want.
Work-life balance, don't you understand?
- Not a wordl!
And I've got lots more ideas!
Your son is trying to ruin us.
Josi, your mother...
We could really push the envelope!
Attract a wider demographic...
But that would mean
you two trying something new!
Being spontaneous and uninhibited.
Anything is possible
but nothing's guaranteed
Your father advises you
"come to your senses
at last and start thinking about
securing your future!"
Your mother nods: quite so, my dear,
your generation swans through life...
you never had to live through war,
to teach you respect.
This is no joke. Take it to heart.
It's time to start worrying
about your pension.
But then the devil says
pile fuel on the fire.
It'll all be burned up
when you go to your grave...
no matter how you connive.
But anything is possible
so long as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed.
You can sleep when you're dead
because anything is possible
but nothing's guaranteed.
I want to show off the new spa
and fitness area in our brochure.
No one wants to see sweatbands
and rubber balls in a hotel brochure.
Yes, they do! It's part of the package.
And for the grand opening we're getting
- hold onto your hats - Pablo Garcia!
The striker for the Argentine
national team? That's amazing!
Ridiculous!
He's "World Footballer of the Year"!
That's...
- Splendid!
Stupid!
He's here for the Opera Ball,
so I wangled this.
Do you think I can get his autograph?
- Wolfgang, really!
It's our future that's at stake here!
- Then stop clinging to the past!
New ideas! Carpe diem!
Tomorrow may be too late.
You face the doctor,
stripped to the skin.
He wrinkles his brow and says:
I don't like the look of this.
Your blood test results
are all out of whack.
To put it bluntly, old age has never
looked so unlikely.
Wise up and slow down,
step on the brakes,
you're no spring chicken anymore.
But then the devil says
pile fuel on the fire...
it will all be burned up
when you go to your grave.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed.
Smirking like a fat cat at your investment
returns won't get you anywhere...
because nothing's guaranteed.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed
From the day I was born I hit the ground
running so I say to myself so what?
Because nothing's guaranteed...
This is what you call incognito?
My instructions were crystal clear.
They screwed up.
You might as well have taken out
an announcement:
"Emma Carter is staying at the Edler.
Do drop in!"
This hotel is completely out of its depth.
Four-and-a-half stars!
Is that even a thing?
- Can't we just leave?
It's only for few days.
You can put up with Austria's Magic
Kingdom for that long.
I wouldn't count on it.
Don't be such a grinch!
Fine, I'll do the interviews tomorrow
and that TV thing,
but not the Opera Ball.
It's a great opportunity!
Think of the photos!
- Don't push it, Richard.
The photos will go viral.
You and Pablo!
The screen goddess
and the football's prince of hearts!
Oh, pass the sick-bag!
Emma,
we need those photos
and we need the publicity.
You can't afford another flop.
I'm fed up with doing
all this commercial crap.
Crap?
This is what you're famous for!
Romantic comedies.
I want my acting to make a statement.
Make a statement? Are you out
of your mind? This is Hollywood!
We can't go changing your entire image!
All I want is...
Hold on!
No, she's unavailable at this time...
Yes, goodbye, Quentin.
Did you just turn down Quentin Tarantino?!
The project wasn't right for you.
I've always dreamed of working with him!
You signed the contract, remember?
That deal is worth millions. You're making
"Whirlwind of Romance 5" and that's that.
I've got to get out of here.
I need some fresh air.
You can't, it's too dangerous.
Oh please, this is Vienna.
And you think Vienna's gonna be different?
You know what people are like
if they recognize you.
Okay.
- It's better if you stay.
Now get some shuteye.
You don't want to look older
than you already are tomorrow.
If you reach your goal too speedily,
if your dreams come true too easily...
if luck lifts you up too high,
you start to believe you can fly.
Dazzled by vanity
you don't realize you're lonely.
Does only my mirror know the real me?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
My parents were strict,
their minds were narrow,
when I left, it was on bad terms.
Without saying goodbye,
I wanted to leave forever
and free myself from their chains.
Suddenly freedom seemed boundless,
so much just fell into my lap,. ..
everyone was my best friend
in the world of glamour
where the sun always shines.
But no sooner does a cloud appear
then all that love just disappears.
Does only my mirror
know the real me?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
Do you make a habit
of just walking in like this?
No... I just wanted to apologize
for that little incident in the foyer.
Little? I was ready to find a new hotel.
That would be most regrettable!
Perhaps this will make you
regard us more favourably:
A little gesture of appreciation
from the Edler Hotel.
Voilà!
What is it?
Our world famous Edlertorte.
Edlertorte? I always thought
it was called...
Don't say that name!
They're our rivals.
I hope you like chocolate cake?
I have to watch my figure.
You're joking! One gram less
and you'd disappear completely.
By Hollywood standards, I'm podgy.
Then Hollywood hasn't got a clue.
We... I'd better...
Mmmm! It's very good!
Here, you try some!
But I can't just...!
Are you refusing to grant
a guest's request?
You're right!
Indulgence in the line of duty,
so to speak.
No one can possibly object to that!
You're not what I expected.
In what way?
You're nicer.
Oh, thanks a lot!
Somehow it tastes even better
off the floor.
What's in it?
- It's an old family recipe, top secret!
So you're the Edlers' son?
Is that a bad thing?
- Not at all.
Have fun at the Opera Ball!
Are you going, too?
- Wild horses couldn't drag me there!
All that fake posing gets on my nerves.
It's the same at the Oscars.
Or worse, at those
so-called "charity" events in L.A.
Yes, ghastly! All those society types who
suddenly discover
their social conscience...
but wouldn't dream
of actually mucking in to help.
Yes, better to go to a charity do and post
thousands of selfies on Instagram.
Hashtag: "Good cause".
This evening there's another do,
a do for everyone who's anyone.
It's not quite clear
what's the point of it all
but who cares as long as
we meet and greet.
The moment you enter
you're greeted by waves.
The ladies are plastered in
make-up as always...
The gentlemen are mostly tipsy
and laugh much too loudly at filthy jokes.
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends.
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand one another.
A trio wails thinly in the background,
the singers screech a strangled:
- O sole mio!
Then the sponsor babbles
something into the mic:
Well, that was very nice,
I hope you all enjoyed it
My stay is turning out to be more
entertaining than I expected.
So in fact you quite like it here with us?
I might just give you a second chance.
If you like, I could give you
a brief tour of the hotel later?
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends.
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand one another.
You said it!
The sweet taste of vipers' kisses
Is there a purer poison?
And if everything's harmonious,
someone will stir up trouble.
You look marvellous!
When did you have your face lifted?
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand
one another.
Romy spotted me with her.
Do you think she's getting suspicious?
She'll never figure it out!
Josi's car is still in the driveway!
Where is Josi?
Can I drive it into the garage? Please?
I'm old enough!
- You might be, but the car isn't.
My dear Edler,
you pulled it off yet again!
I take my hat off to you!
- What do you mean?
The surprise reception for Emma Carter!
Other hotels would have kept it a secret.
We deliver!
You've really earned your tip this time,
my dear!
To you, Wolfgang!
You've given me a great front page!
Why don't you write about me?
You're not a celebrity.
You only say that because you've
never heard my "Traviata".
Were you an opera singer as well?!
Caruso and I were once...
but then Maria Callas had to interfere.
Elfie, enough is enough!
Emma Carter sells.
People can't get enough of her,
there's something about her.
That certain something!
I can spot it a mile off.
You're supposed to have eyes
only for me!
And I do, darling. You're my star!
I don't believe a word of it.
Don't you have any work to do?
Loads!
Emma Carter looks exactly the same
in real life as she does in her movies.
I don't want to know what kind of "movie"
is playing inside your head right now.
I do! Press replay!
And then slo-mo!
Emma Carter's a looker, all right!
She's so young!
So what? We're still young, too!
Well, let's say "in full bloom".
In full bloom?
I'd rather say the leaves are falling.
No, these are the best years.
Life races past you
and before you know it...
you start to panic, don't you?
And then fidelity fades to regret.
What's wrong with appreciating
youthful beauty?
Once you reach a certain age,
you start to get interesting again!
I call that proof...
Men in their prime,
the ones who drive fast cars...
are stuck on the career ladder
not getting anywhere.
Children make a happy home
according to his wife.
But at night, when he's on the roam,
he's not so sure.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis
When your palms are sweaty
although it's not that warm,
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till now,
but thank you, now I know!
Sometimes I think you're still
stuck at puberty!
My second husband was the same!
The blood suddenly pumps in his veins
and his synapses fizz...
when he sees slender female legs,
preferably in suspenders.
He sprays on clouds of Armani,
puts his arm around strange waists,
Why shouldn't slaves to matrimony
sleep in strange beds now and then?
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
When you're overtaken on the inside lane
and the driver's an old man.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till now,
but thank you, now I know!
"Sex on the beach", anyone?
While there's still life left
in their trousers
they visit houses of ill-repute.
By candlelight and champagne,
and say hooray!
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
When you're overtaken on the inside lane
and the driver's an old man.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed before,
but thank you, now I know!
I call that proof of a midlife crisis
by day larifari at night nosferarri
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till know,
but thank you, now I know!
You don't really think I've got a problem,
do you?
Well, your mind
always seems to be wandering...
I think about us a lot.
Us? Why? What about "us"?
Yes, exactly! What about us?
Is there an "us" anymore?
Or is this just a marriage of convenience?
I don't have time
for this kind of discussion.
That's the point!
You never have time for anything!
Wolfgang, we haven't spent our whole lives
building up our good name just to...
Yes, we've built up a solid business
and we can be proud
of what we've achieved, but...
But?
- It's been twelve years
since we went on holiday.
Isn't it time we gave Josi
more responsibility
and had more time to ourselves?
The child would be
completely out of his depth.
Perhaps you should have more faith in him.
It would do us good, too.
All we ever talk about is the hotel.
You know how much there is to do.
What more do you want from me?
Try thinking about something
else for a change.
Have you forgotten how when we were young
the world seemed full of open doors?
Each day was more exciting than the next.
And now? The other night, for instance...
We went to the theater
for the first time in ages,
the play was very funny.
When it was over I asked myself
why don't we keep on laughing?
I help you into your Dior coat,
smell your hair
and remember how things used to be.
It's raining and a fight breaks out
over every taxi,
a fight I have to win.
We could have, as you said,
taken our own car.
How quickly we find ourselves
alone in the rain
when love goes missing...
when love is absent.
Wasn't it great on the last tram home?
We were soaked through,
held each other close,
as close as anyone can.
We had nothing and we needed nothing,
love was all that mattered.
How we used to laugh
on rainy nights like this,
never thinking how fast time flies!
We had nothing and we needed nothing
love was all that mattered.
And this is where we make
our famous Edlertorte.
It takes all these people?
The cake is crafted in 37 stages,
each of which requires a specialist,
and it's all done by hand.
That's incredible!
- Yes.
He, for instance, squirts the 24 blobs
of our original patented
Edler whipped cream
into exactly the right position.
What about her?
- She beats the eggs.
All day long?
Yes, it's the height of her ambition.
May I introduce Frau Stieglhuber?
Pleased to meet you.
Oh my God! I'm so sorry!
- It's all right!
She's just pleased to see you.
Isn't that right, Frau Stieglhuber?
Everything all right now?
And what's in here?
Oh, that...
That's our cold storage room.
It's where we store...
our cakes.
You can open it again, can't you?
Of course I can! I just have to...
Did you have any appointments today?
It could get a bit tight.
Are we trapped?
Just a minute, I'll call my manager.
He's got me out of worse situations.
Oh, there's no reception!
Hello?
Hello?! We're in here!
Well, that worked brilliantly.
Everyone should do something crazy
now and again.
Freezing to death next to
a pile of cakes is certainly crazy.
Better?
Thank you.
The next shift starts in two hours.
Someone's bound to come then.
Till then...
voilà!
Your table awaits, Ms Carter!
As you know, it tastes much better
off the floor.
"Emma Carter"...
I take it that's a stage name?
My manager thought it up,
he says it's more "international".
Will you tell me you real name?
- No.
Please?
Pretty please?
Adele Waldvogel.
That's a lovely name.
And what's it like being
a Waldvogel in Hollywood?
Hollywood is a place where they pay
you 50,000 dollars for a kiss...
and 50 cents for your soul.
Marilyn Monroe!
Yes! And all that matters is how you look.
That's hardly a problem for you!
That's what you think!
You wouldn't believe the things
I had to do to get my break.
And? How did you pull it off?
I started playing their game.
It might surprise you to hear it, but...
Until three years ago Adele was
a woman who didn't turn heads.
With a shapely figure
and in the pink of health
she couldn't quite work out why.
"Then people said to me "Aha!
You need more than a Wonderbra!
Pamela Anderson and Claudia Schiffer
"are both blondes, you could be too."
I thought instead of hoping for a miracle,
I'll try peroxide.
They wanted me as blonde as a white bread
roll, blonde, or blonder, than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a field of corn
because things go easier for blondes.
Blonde as a white bread roll
blond, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blond, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen, so they say,
prefer blondes.
I had hardly left the hairdresser's
when chaos broke out on the roads.
Everybody wondered
why rush hour had come so early that day.
Adele said to herself:
"Well, well! It seems the charms of
woman-kind don't lie
in brilliance of mind."
Really? Whoever would have guessed?
The lechers all go goggle-eyed
thanks to a splash of peroxide.
I only wanted to be blonde
as a white bread
roll, blonde, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a field of corn
because things go easier for blondes.
Blonde as a white bread roll
blond, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen, so they say,
prefer blondes.
But if anyone says,
"Don't play hard-to-get!
Come and join me on my water bed!"
I answer, "You think I'm dumb,
I bet, but actually I'm a brunette."
I'm only blonde, too blonde to be true,
blonde, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen prefer blondes.
How would you like to come
to the Opera Ball with me?
What, that snobfest?
Everyone should do
something crazy now and again.
I suppose nothing can happen
to me if I'm with you.
They're in there, I know it!
I simply can't imagine...
Wait, wait.
Open the door!
See! What did I tell you?!
Emma!
- Richard!
Josi! What are you two doing in here?
I do apologise,
Ms Carter, has he been
making a nuisance of himself?
No, quite the opposite!
He was very charming.
Thanks God!
Charming?!
He's a kidnapper!
If word of this gets out,
we might lose one of our stars!
Richard, don't exaggerate!
We're just good friends.
- How did you find us?
A tip-off from the kitchen staff.
They were too shy to come
in, that's all.
Emma,
we're going back
to your suite right now!
Would you give us a moment, please?
- Emma, I...
It's all right, Josi.
- Of course.
Richard,
I'm a grown woman!
I can look after myself.
So how come you keep getting into danger?
Why can't I just lead a normal life?
Because you're Emma Carter!
A superstar! You can't lead a normal life!
Oh yes I can. As you can see.
Do you realize what will happen
if this gets out?
When you and Pablo go to the Opera Ball...
I'm taking Josi to the ball.
What?!
Are you crazy? We've already
fixed things with the soccer player.
Then you take him.
Emma, remember what a fiasco
your last relationship...
with a normal guy turned out to be.
He used you to launch his own career.
I've made up my mind.
- If you go ahead with this, then...
Then what?
Then what?
Ok...
you're tired and irritable.
I understand.
You need to rest.
I'll leave you alone for now
and see you later in the suite.
Your new movie will be a hit
and you'll have the world
at your feet again.
I used to live for applause,
felt at home everywhere...
had almost forgotten where I come from.
But the price was high:
rootless and restless,
and a longing grew in me.
Now here I stand and ask myself
what really matters?
Does only my mirror know who I really am?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
All right!
Let's do it one more time, Felix!
What if someone sees us?
So what?
It's the most natural thing in the world.
Not for me, it isn't!
Just let yourself go...
Enjoy it!
The Edlers are in the next room!
Relax!
Look...
we need to get really close,
breathe in synchrony.
Yes, we have to find our rhythm!
No, I can't!
You'll never impress the jury like this!
It's Anna I want to impress!
Now she'll laugh at me!
- No, she won't!
One more time...
Elfie!
What are you doing?
- Not right now.
We're practicing left turns.
You're what?
We're Waltzing!
His Anna wants to be a deb at the ball.
The pretty one
who works in the restaurant?
Yes! And I've got to master
these stupid left turns
otherwise she'll go with Martin.
The short ugly one from the laundry?
He can dance.
I remember Waltzing
with Johann Strauss...
The Elder or the Younger?
Both.
That was 180 years ago!
It's as if it were yesterday!
And were you also
a friend of the Emperor's?
No, a relative!
My mother was Katharina Schratt!
Who??
Just Google it!
Ah, our Casanova wannabe!
Warmer now?
Seeing you is like an ice-cold shower.
Watch your step, wise guy!
Has Pablo Garcia checked in yet?
Unfortunately,
we can't give out any information
about our guests.
Now listen up, you two clowns...
- What do you want from Pablo Garcia?
Okay...
so Pablo's taking Emma to the Opera Ball.
They'll be the new dream couple. And you
are not going to come between them!
That can't be right.
She wants to go with me.
With you?
Yes.
Did she tell you that?
She invited me.
Ridiculous!
You can put that idea out of your head.
You don't seriously think a top star
like Emma Carter
is going to go to the ball
with someone like you?
You mean I'm not good enough for her?
I suggest you take
a look in the mirror, squirt!
And then take a look at Pablo...
He's got a backside like Apollo
and his hips swing with elan.
He's got the charm of Rene Kollo
and the eyes of Genghis Khan.
"You'll always be a loser,"
his teacher used to sneer,
Now he's a male underwear model,
a macho and a sex symbol.
And a shrimp like you has no chance.
Macho macho can't be taught,
macho macho's how you're born.
Macho machos are ahead of the rest,
macho machos live dangerously.
Macho machos are out and proud.
They only meet their match-a
fending off the crowds.
Here comes another scoundrel
to pinch him on the burn.
You can't blame her, that wasp waist
would make a nun sweat.
Macho machos stay in fashion,
macho machos never die.
Macho machos are who women want to pull
macho machos provoke envy.
Machos lose a lot of friends
because they're always six inches ahead.
She loves sexy tv cop shows
and often lies awake at night...
while her husband
in his flannel pyjamas
only has eyes for the fridge.
She dreams of Eros Ramazotti
and Julio lglesias...
but the tame donkey in her bed says
"leave me alone, I'm reading".
Only macho machos have the stamina,
macho machos own the world,
macho machos have
what others sadly lack.
Machos machos are a necessity,
machos get harassed by everyone
from loo cleaners to stewardesses.
The wives of industry and aristocracy are
as fond of a Tyrolean hunk...
as a gentleman from Rimini.
Hello, Dad.
Everything all right?
Everything's hunky-dory.
Coming from you,
that means things are bad.
Dad?
Have you ever been stood up?
I've been stood in the corner
by your mother.
You're not taking me seriously!
- Of course I do.
Dad...
Imagine you're a little squirt...
A squirt?
- Yes.
Yes, and then one day you meet
a beautiful, hot, blonde
bread roll...
A blonde bread roll?
Yes, and then some half-witted tortilla
steals her from you!
Listening to you is making me hungry!
You're not even trying to understand!
- On the contrary!
Do you think that's never happened to me?
To you? Really?
- Of course!
That must have been yonks ago!
Thanks a lot!
It wasn't that long ago.
I remember it perfectly.
I was on a summer holiday
with my girlfriend.
We were ready for adventure!
We were happy.
And then...
And then?
- Then suddenly it was all over.
I felt a right fool.
I stand in the heat on the Strada del Sole
my feet hurt in my new sandals...
my girlfriend's run off with an Italian,
my money's been stolen,
now I'm all on my own.
And I've got no lira...
and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
Things suddenly got serious
with medallion man
and she left me standing here...
in my new sandals, it's a scandal.
I've got no lira and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
He wanted a more with my Bella ragazza
the sentimental kind,
then the on-the-mattress kind...
Then he roared up in his Alfa Romeo.
At first I laughed at him,
now look who's laughing.
I've got no lira, and no passport,
it's hard to see a bright side.
He won her with witty dolce far niente
no brain in his skull...
but motto potente -
I'll beat him a! dente!
I've got no lira and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
I wanted to see Florence and Rome and Pisa
but now I'm fed up with Italian geezers.
Totally skint and all on my own how
I wish I'd stayed
with my friends back home.
Italy can jump in a lake.
I don't need this tripe,
I've got the local swimming pool.
Jesolo can take a hike.
And a good thing, too!
- What is?
That you let the young lady
run off with Medallion Man...
otherwise you'd never have met Mum!
That "lady" came back to me
two weeks later full of remorse.
We've been married
for over 25 years now...
Mum!
' exactly!
Things often don't turn out
the way you expect.
I see.
- You know what?
Play hard to get!
Maybe all your bread roll needs
is a little time...
Tell her you don't have a problem
with the tortilla.
If she's the right one for you,
she'll make the right choice.
That's true! Thanks, Dad!
Love you!
- I should hope so too, squirt!
It's me, Josi!
Come in!
I need to choose
a gown for the ball...
Have you heard of Jean Paul Gaultier?
Sure, Jean Paul. My old pal.
He designed this gown specially for me.
Of course, he did.
I just want to be sure you like it, too!
Wouldn't it make more sense to ask
Pablo Garcia which gown to wear?
What?
You heard me.
Your date for the Opera Ball.
You didn't have to play me for a fool...
I just want to make one thing clear:
First and foremost, you are a guest
and I am providing a service.
Our time together was just an
"indulgence in the line of duty."
That's Jean Paul Gautier?!
No, that's comfortable.
And I'm not going to the Opera Ball in it,
nor am I going with Pablo Garcia.
Seriously?
Yes, seriously.
You look like an ordinary person...
well, a goddess-like ordinary person...
And now what might we two
ordinary people get up to?
We need to get out of here!
Let's go on a little trip!
You're full of surprises!
- It's my trademark.
But how can we get out?
The hotel's besieged by paparazzi.
Through the catacombs
straight to the Hofburg.
Really?
" No!"
But there is a secret back entrance.
Come on,
I'll show you a different side of Vienna!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Don't hold out hopes
of the sound of a waltz
or a Viennese heart of gold.
Thank god, we've more or less got
over that kind of sentiment.
By day, she's beautiful,
a photographer's dream...
at night she's steamy
and melts every ice cream.
So you've been overseas to
New York and L.A...
Rio de Janeiro
didn't make you happy either.
You know Tel Aviv particularly well,
you dream of Paris and as for Moscow,
everybody dreams of that.
I can't believe you just
upped sticks and left.
Leaving home wasn't hard.
Aren't you ever homesick?
I'm not really at home anywhere.
I'd like to take off someday, too,
but somehow I never manage it.
This city is like a shout,
it's high and modern,
everyone loves its scent,
everyone adores Vienna.
That was close!
It must be awful
to be mobbed everywhere you go.
That's why Richard
wants to keep me locked up.
It's crazy!
You become world famous
and all you want is not to be noticed.
Yes, I've been overseas
to New York and L.A.,
Rio de Janeiro
didn't make me happy either.
I love Mexico, Rome and Tokyo,
but there, like in Peru,
I hardly slept a wink.
Let me show you a place where
you won't be recognized!
Now that I'd like to see.
- Prepare to be surprised!!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
If anything happens to Emma Carter
it'll be the end of you!
You never know what fans will do,
she's in danger out there!
All alone, with no bodyguards,
in the big city things look black,
I foresee disaster
and it's all your son's fault!
This is even more exciting
than that time with Orson!
Orson Welles?
The third man in my life!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Josi!
- Hi there!
All running smoothly?
- Yes,
we've just handed out
the fourth delivery
and the fifth should be here any moment.
Excellent! We distribute
the hotel's leftover food to the homeless.
This really is a surprise.
Your parents must be proud of you.
They don't know about it.
It's better this way.
You give these people a glimmer of hope.
It makes what I do
seem even more pointless.
Something gnaws at your soul
something gives you no rest...
Something, something...
- closes your throat.
A feeling as if you were slowly bleeding,
a feeling as if you had wept.
A feeling as if you had...
united all the yearning
in the world within you.
No more questions,
because the answer is too painful.
No more complaining,
because nothing matters anymore.
Not a fair land in these times
and no homeland in sight...
Not a fair land in these times
and no homeland,.
not even a home.
We'd better go, it's getting late...
There was an incident one time in Chicago.
She almost died.
I swear we'll do everything in our power.
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Don't ask where St Stephen's cathedral is,
or when and why it was built.
Don't look for the blue Danube,
it's all been dammed up.
Have you ever seen Vienna...
by night?!
Good morning!
What a night!
If Felix hadn't taken my car
and come and fetched us...
Just in time!
And then he even hid us at his place...
It was really sweet of him.
And you had to sleep in the armchair,
you poor thing?
It was fine.
I'm sure I'll be able to feel my legs
again in an hour or two.
126 missed calls?
A stalker?
- In a manner of speaking.
Richard's looking for me.
Oh God, the interviews!
I completely forgot!
Is that such a bad thing?
Ok, I'm going to do something
I've never done before.
Not com-ing...
II
And?
It feels good!
Did you make this?
Felix doesn't have much
in the way of food.
The boy appears to subsist
entirely on Nutella.
Proper brown bread!
I missed this so much!
They don't have in in the States.
Poor America! No bread!
- It's true.
But going there...
was a liberation.
A liberation? What from?
My parents... things were tricky.
I know the feeling!
I wasn't neglected or anything,
it's just that my parents
put people into pigeonholes.
And I didn't fit into any of them.
One day, I left and never went back.
We haven't spoken since.
But now that you're here...
wouldn't you like to give them a ring?
No, I can't.
Is the therapy session over yet?
I can't sleep a wink!
Felix! How can we thank you
for last night?
I've got an idea...
Your car?!
You're old enough.
Yes, I am, but...
- So is the car by now.
Thank you!
Baby, baby, baby, here I come!
Oh God, the grand opening!
The fitness room!
I totally forgot!
- Is that such a bad thing?
Get out of here!
I won't be long!
Time off at last!
There's been no sign of her
for over fourteen hours.
This is a disaster of biblical
proportions! And it's all your fault.
Calm down! We'll find her.
The police will leave no stone unturned.
They've put their best squad onto it.
Gustaf one
- to Gustaf two
Get ready for the raid!
Get ready...
- here we go again.
An old lady with eyes
and ears everywhere, has complained...
about the racket from a cellar,
her doggy's very upset.
Even a nice married couple
complained to the police...
something illegal must be going on,
I bet it's a "new wave" bar.
With Gustaf one and Gustaf two
get ready for the raid!
With any luck we'll smoke out
a nest of drug addicts.
Cobra, cobra, please surrender.
The youth of today are a disgrace!
Things are going to hell in a hand basket,
we'll show them!
Those scum deserve to feel
the full force of the law!
For that we've got, thank god,
our special squad!
Gustaf one - to Gustaf two
- Get ready for the raid!
This time try to use your brains
- Or things will go pear-shaped again.
The last operation was a flop,
we may have been a little rough.
Even though we planned it out
just like Kojak always does.
We roughed up a guy
with a needle in his vein.
We thought he was a punk
but he had diabetes.
No heroin, just insulin.
All rigtht, everyone!
We've got to find this young lady!
I've seen her somewhere before.
Come on, let's go!
And don't forget:
evil lurks around every corner!
Gustaf one to Gustaf two,
the facts don't add up...
what you told us isn't true.
Have you sent us on a wild goose chase?
We drove through half the city
with a massive squad.
You know how fast we can act,
a hundred men, no need for orders.
But when we got there,
there were no users...
we couldn't believe our eyes,
just a tv on too loud!
Still no sign of her!
The police found this, though.
Other hotels misplace umbrellas,
you lose guests!
Until we have more information,
we should all say calm.
As the air hostess said before
the plane crashed!
I'm sure Josi's taking good care of her.
I'm going to cancel
Emma's interviews for today.
When I get back...
you'd better be able to tell me
where your son's keeping her prisoner...
Prisoner?
- or I will personally remove
every one of those
four and a half stars out there!
Excuse me, is this a bad time?
- This is... my business.
I'm afraid now isn't a good time,
can we postpone it?
No problem! You've got my number.
Wolfgang,
when are you going to tell me
who that is?
It's not important.
Not important?
We're up to our necks in problems
and you're making eyes
at a girl who could be your daughter!
Romy, really!
- You're obviously
trying to recapture your lost youth.
Don't start that again!
And of course you needed a sports car
to impress your bit of fluff.
That was a present for Josi.
He's not interested in cars.
What is it you want from me?
I want you to...
concentrate on the business
like you used to.
Of course, the business!
The hotel always comes first!
The hotel... is my life!
I thought I was.
Do you even want to be that anymore?
Of course I do.
How we used to laugh
on rainy nights like this,
never thinking how fast time flies!
We had nothing and we needed nothing,
love was all that mattered...
Love was all that mattered...
I wish I could believe you.
Yes, of course.
I don't understand...
One second, please.
Now it should work.
Yes, I hear you.
A surprise... I'll see to it, Emma!
Emma? Was that Emma Carter?
Just clearing my throat. Em-ma.
And Josi's on his way? Good!
Au revoir, ma chère!
The reporters are getting restless.
Josi's still not back.
Frau Elfie, how long are you
going to keep us waiting?
Señor Pablo,
we need to improvise!
Qué?
- Game on!
Muy bueno!
You look athletic!
Years of training.
Gymnastics?
- Boxing.
In the ring?
- On the sofa.
Ladies and gentlemen: Pablo Garcia!
Till the early morning hours,
I sit on my own, watching boxing on TV.
Because seeing two men get creamed,
boosts my low self-esteem.
When their faces are swollen
and red with blood,
I take a big bite of my schnitzel roll.
And when one of them's finally forced to
his knees, I knock back a swig of my beer.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
If a referee gets beaten up,
if they kick his face in,
if there's a mass punch-up.
It's as if I'm right there,
because on my colour tv,
I can see it all perfectly.
World cup skiing bores her,
because she's hardened to it.
The only thing that can still
excite her is a serious accident.
A fall at 120 km/h
results in delighted "whoops-a-daisy!"
And when a body lies unmoving in the snow
my coffee tastes particularly good.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
If halfway down the run,
someone loses one ski
and barrels head-first into the scenery,
in a hair-raising crash,
then if he survives
he gets interviewed afterwards.
Wow! Elfie's bringing the house down!!
Ladies and gentlemen,
our junior manager and initiator
of the new spa and fitness area...
Franz Joseph Edler!
Josi, you're on!
Over time, every sport gets a little dull
if it lacks danger...
everyone loves formula one
because now and then a car overturns.
On the sofa, we clutch our drinks
in excitement,
hoping for a proper pile-up.
It takes a spectacular crash
to give a grand prix a real kick.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
Exploding cars make for happy spectators,
because a fiery inferno
is a sight for sore eyes.
Merriment in the stands,
is the best thing about sport.
Long live sport!
Now I have to go and get Emma.
- No need.
Here I am!
- Elfie?!
Emma!
Now I've got a surprise for you! Elfie!
"Our bachelorette's helicopter..."
will take you to a secret hideaway
where you can enjoy a fantastic view and...
"get to know each other better!"
An trip?
So, Josi, it's time
to make up your mind...
Get out of here before someone sees you!
- Mum and dad will roast me alive!
Don't worry.
I practically ooze discretion.
This makes you our accomplice in crime.
Where would Bonny and Clyde
have been without me?
Still alive?
Get along with you!
- I know, the helicopter's right outside.
Spot on!
- You're kidding?!
You can order anything online.
You just need the right app.
And all I've ever ordered is pizza.
Who's even going to fly the thing?
- Me!
God, I'd forgotten
how beautiful Austria is!
This is my home!
Home is where the heart is!
Will you look at that! And I went all
the way to California to find happiness!
Autopilot.
I guess you can't hide your roots.
Now I'm here, seeing this, I don't know...
I never thought I'd say this...
but I've missed all this.
Somehow I understand things better now...
where I come from...
this country...
Your glory days are long past
and you've lived through hell as well.
Not much remains of power and splendour...
tell me, who still
doffs their hat to you
apart from me?
I know your people,
I know the rats among
them, the stupidity
that makes angels weep.
I'll stand by you through
sunshine and shadow,
now and forever.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
here the ice in my soul melts
like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race and,
at the other end of the world
I say proudly
and, if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria!
I used to envy the migrating storks,
now I fly much further afield...
I mostly see you from a distance.
No one knows,
how much that sometimes hurts.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
here the ice in my soul
melts like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race and at the end
of the world I say proudly and...
if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria!
Josi, now I've got
another surprise for you!
Don't tell me
you've chartered a jumbo jet?
Better than that!
They must be somewhere...
Oh my God, they're actually still here!
Voilà!
Come along!
Wow!
- Welcome to the Waldvogel cabin!
Your family owns this?
Yes, I spent half my childhood
here with my parents.
I keep discovering new sides to you.
I always used to build
the fire with my father.
He taught me how.
We came skiing here every winter.
You can ski?
- Yes!
Do you still ski?
- I'd like to, but I'm not allowed.
Says who?
The insurance company.
If I dropped out of a movie,
it would cost the producers millions.
What kind of a life is that?
You might as well live in an oxygen tent
and only come out for filming.
Richard would like that.
Ta-da! These are our old skis.
They must be two metres long! Cool!
They ought to fit you, Josi.
Let's hit the slopes!
You're willing to risk
a couple of million just for a laugh?
Everyone should do
something crazy now and again.
You're crazy, all right!
Maybe.
Or maybe I've finally found myself.
I assume the slopes have been
postponed indefinitely?
Maybe this time you won't have
to sleep in the armchair...
Right now, I can't imagine anywhere
I'd rather be.
Me neither.
At some point the day will come
when you ask yourself...
how much of the life you live
is really yours.
Always driven, always devoted,
strong for everyone else,
but when you're weak, then left alone.
You soon grew a thick skin.
Impermeable, riddled with parasites.
You no longer know what you feel
when you count your scars.
And when you go out,
there is no one who misses you.
Take heart and never let it go...
when your longing grows
it wants to be unleashed.
Take heart,
a heart that beats like yours...
wild and fierce,
that fills the emptiness within you.
Maybe you aimed too high.
Your ego was capricious.
You sought yourself
and cursed your God
and your ambition blinded you.
Take heart and never let it go...
of all the hearts
that threw themselves at you
not one has stayed.
Take heart a heart that beats like yours,
so wild and fierce,
that fills the emptiness.
You may think vanity will hold off time...
but your mirror tells you
you're no longer blond.
Take heart and never let it go.
Loneliness is vast,
you can lose yourself in it.
Take heart, a heart that beats like yours,
so wild and fierce,
to fill the emptiness at last.
Hello?
Mum?
Yes, it's me...
Good morning!
Morning!
- Let's go!
Where are you going?
- To the slopes!
Five more minutes...
- Ah, you need fresh air!
Emma, is that your lover?!
What does Pablo have to say about this?
How did they know...?
Don't play the innocent with me!
What?
Do you think I don't know
who tipped them off?
I don't understand...
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
That's what you were really after, right?
- I'm sorry?
God, I'm so stupid!
This was all a huge mistake.
- A mistake? How can you say that?
Elfie was boasting only yesterday how
cleverly you used Pablo
as bait for the press.
And now it's my turn.
- No, wait, you've got it all wrong!
Damn, how am I going to get out of here?
- Emma
Emma? It's me, Richard!
Open up!
Richard!
Thank God!
See what you've done?
I hope you're happy now!
- You can't keep her locked up forever.
Richard, get me out of here!
I hope you realize now that you can't
possibly lead a normal life.
Macho machos stay in fashion,
macho machos never die...
macho machos are who
women want to pull.
Macho machos provoke envy,
machos lose a lot of friends...
because they're always six inches ahead.
What do you mean, none of them fit?
The waist, it is perfect, but up here...
Don't tell me you've ripped
all the tailcoats?!
All kaput.
Too small for Pablo's big musckles.
Houston, we have a problem!
Can you find a tailcoat
that is fitting me?
Can I! I used to dress Rodolfo Valentino.
Disaster has struck!
You look like you
have swallow a football.
Worse than that!
- Has something happened to Josi?
Worse than that!
- To Anna?
Man is born to suffer
as the sparks fly upwards!
"Sparksflyup-a" you what?
I have thrown away
the dearest thing I owed!
Do you want to talk about it?
The rest is silence.
He is in a not good state!
Perhaps mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
would help?
No!!
- A joke...
Tell me, what happened?
Everything was wonderful, but then...
Now I'm back to sitting here on my own,
how could you do this to me?
I can't go into the café,
because they'll all laugh at me again.
I was always the idiot, the dimwit,
but when I showed up with you...
their jaws dropped, their eyes goggled.
Jealous as hell, I could see straight off,
how jealous they were...
but you were mine, all mine!
How can it be over?
I'll never be happy again,
you're lying out there on the scrap heap...
you were everything to me.
I can't fight back my tears, you were
such a hot set of wheels...
and now you're nothing but scrap.
One little prang
and you have to sing an entire operetta?
You have a beautiful voice!
You don't know how much I loved that car!
I don't understand how it happened.
I could have taken
that corner at 130 easy.
Maybe the 6 glasses of wine
weren't such a good idea...
but six glasses doesn't mean
you're pissed, does it?
Nothing would have happened
if it wasn't for that stupid tree...
"Keep Vienna green",
what a load of crap! They should plant
their greenery some place else.
I wouldn't have cared
if I'd only lost my license.
We could have had an illicit affair,
but having to sell you for scrap
just breaks my heart.
I'll never be happy again.
You're lying out there on the scrap heap
you were everything to me.
I can't fight back my tears,
you were such a hot set of wheels...
and now you're nothing but scrap.
Josi's going to kill me!
And then the boss will kill me.
And then she'll sack me.
It won't happen,
I'll see to that.
If you can pull that off,
you deserve a Nobel Prize.
I nearly got one once...
but Mother Theresa was too greedy.
I have not understand one single word.
Emma?!
Emma, I need to talk to you!
She doesn't want to see you.
I don't believe you! We were going to...
- Once and for all...
there is no "we".
The party's over.
But I know all this is exactly
what Emma doesn't want!
And do you also know that
at the Opera Ball this evening Emma
is going to announce
her engagement to Pablo Garcia?
Her... engagement?
Oh, didn't she tell you?
I advise you to forget all about her.
Forget her?
How could I ever forget her?
She charms you with tears
and she smiles when she lies...
because she knows
one glance from her is enough.
She can be harbour and homeland
and then be utterly alien.
She is the one who gives me wings
and holds me back.
When she wants, she can be like summer
or if not then cold as ice...
she never offers proof of her love.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
it's so hard with her...
but I don't know what to do
if I lose her.
Josi! There you are at last!
Mum I...
- How could you do such a thing?
Run off with a guest!
And with her, of all people!
I know, Mum,
but I couldn't help it.
She's simply...
She's a Hollywood star!
What do you want with a woman like that?
She doesn't want to see me anymore.
Well, what did you expect?
You were playing with fire!
- No, Romy, don't you see? He's in love.
She's not the right woman for him.
There is no "right woman".
There's only her.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
however much my head rebels,
she's a part of me.
She's abandoned in her nights
when she loves brief moments.
She bursts all dams when she surrenders.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
it's so hard with her,.
but I don't know what to do
if I lose her.
You know what?
Follow your heart.
That's what I did.
Dad told me about the Strada del Sole.
Really?
Why did you go back to him?
Because after my little adventure...
I realized I didn't want
to spend my life with anyone
but your father.
And while we're being honest
with each other...
Why didn't you tell us about that?
I thought you wouldn't approve.
Helping the homeless
won't get you any stars.
But what you're doing is wonderful!
From now on the Hotel Edler
will be an official sponsor!
Thank you!
We love you!
We can be proud of him.
Yes, very.
I know I should have told you this
a long time ago...
Is this about that woman?
She's... a travel agent.
So that's how you met?
She's made me a few offers...
for a trip to the Strada del Sole.
With her?
With you, of course!
Just you and me. Some time out.
It was meant to be a surprise.
So that's what all the secrecy was about!
I know, I'm a lousy liar.
And I'm amazed you put up with me!
I'm so sorry...
All this work...
swallowed up my life!
I lost touch with my own needs and...
I hardly even noticed you.
I'm so lucky to have you.
I'd love to help more...
if you'd only let me.
I Will... I'd like that.
And there's something else.
I just want to say thank you,
for the way your eyes laugh
and shed tears.
And for picking up my courage
from the floor,
all those times I flung it down in anger.
Come here, my darling!
We've always made a good team.
Oh, Wolfie,
that feels so good!
Whenever I reached the end of my tether,
you always knew how to carry on.
I want to thank you for all the hours
you've spent waiting for me...
when I came home late at night.
And for always thinking
I was the best thing
ever though I know
hat a total idiot I am.
I just want to say thank you,
because I know I can be hard to stomach:
And one more thing
I should have said more often:
I want you and I love you.
Engaged? Are you out of your mind?
What do you mean?
You agreed to it!
We said photos!
- No.
We'd pose for photos,
we'd spread a few rumours, that was it.
No one said anything
about getting engaged!
It's just a promise, not a commitment!
It'll be the biggest media coup
since the moon landing!
Whatever. It doesn't matter
anyway since I'm not going.
What?!
Of course you're going!
Do you really think,
after that disaster this morning
that I'm going to dance serenely
at the Opera Ball with Pablo Garcia
as if nothing had happened?
Those goddamned paparazzi!
It must be all over the internet!
Don't lose your nerve!
There won't be any scandal.
Oh, really?
And how are you going to manage that?
There are ways and means.
Show business is like politics!
Look around you!
Maybe then you'll finally figure out
how the world works.
The details are regrettably unclear:
On a summer night a gentleman
was lurking in a car park...
with an envelope in his pocket.
In the distance two lights can be seen,
a dark blue jaguar screeches up.
Snow-white faces inside,
only the driver is a Nigerian.
The envelope is handed into the car.
Hearts beat faster, it's a perfect deal.
A generous donation will secure
almost any major project.
The minister gives a sudden laugh,
recognizing the rustle...
and he whistles a little tune:
Tango corrupti,
if you're found out and exposed
you hire a competent lawyer...
and just like that you're out of it.
Even a tax investigation
is no cause for aggravation,
because everything we have
is in a haven in the Bahamas.
You're going to buy the photos back?
No shit, Sherlock!
Under one condition:
tonight at the Opera Ball
you announce your engagement
to Pablo Garcia to the whole world.
That's blackmail.
That's an ugly word.
Let's just say you made
the politically correct decision.
And you can give that squirt...
Josi his marching orders.
Do you really think I want to see him
again after what he did to me?
God, you're so naive! Do you really still
think he ratted on you to the paparazzi?
Oh my God! It was you!
- Bingo!
A little lesson...
Do you really think everyone can be
bought? Me, Pablo, the press, everyone?!
I "invest".
Everyone wants a piece of the pie.
How else do you think you became a star?
You can either be a Wallflower
or you can join the dance!
Tango corrupti
if you're found out and exposed...
you hire a competent lawyer
and just like that you're out of it.
Even a tax investigation
is no cause for aggravation.
Because everything we have
is in a haven in the
Bahamas.
Elfie, is there such thing
as a solo waltz?
If you can dance that,
I'll register you at the Patents Office.
Anna's dumped me.
She thinks I'm a loser without the car.
Silly bint.
So I'm not going to the ball.
- That makes two of us.
Emma never wants to see me again.
Can someone please
explain women to me?
How long have you got?
Right now, I'd like to climb into my car
and drive straight into a tree.
I've already done that for you.
What?!
Vienna's answer to Jimmy Dean
has total led your car!
Are you all right? You're not hurt?
- No, no...
But your car's a write-off.
I'm so sorry!
Felix, that's what insurance is for.
What's up with Emma?
She thinks I'm a write-off, too.
And I'm not insured...
Hotel Edler, Elfie Schratt,
Head Concierge,
how may I help you?
Yes...?
But of course, ma'am!
She wants to see you.
- Who?!
Her!
That's impossible!
Anything is possible!
But nothing's guaranteed!
You're right!
Do you think that means...
I mean, maybe she...?
I wouldn't put anything past a woman.
- I'd be the happiest man alive!
And I know where you two can meet up.
There's only one place in the hotel
that isn't busy at this hour.
The patisserie!
- Off you go!
But how can we get Emma to come?
You know "I Dream of Jeannie"?
- Sure!
I taught her everything she knew.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux,
nothing's guaranteed.
Anything is possible!
But nothing's guaranteed!
I'm so glad you...
I mean, I couldn't quite believe...
after everything that...
I mean... it's pretty crazy...
I mean, us two and...
if someone makes you so...
when your heart's bursting
and you just know...
if you get what I'm saying?
I do, Josi. Every word of it.
Good. Because I worked out in advance
exactly what I wanted to say.
Josi, we two live
in completely different worlds.
How is this supposed to work?
We'll find a way.
You don't even know me.
"Emma Carter" is a brand, not a person.
But I don't care about "Emma Carter".
I want the person underneath.
I want you.
It's more complicated than you realise.
I've made certain commitments.
And we could never be seen
in public together.
We could never even really be
a proper couple.
I can't do that to you.
It wouldn't be fair.
Is this about Pablo?
It's got nothing to do with him.
What is it then?
Josi, I'm very grateful to you for
all the moments we shared...
and for showing me who I am.
But please understand... it won't work.
I suppose I could tell myself
that it's all okay,
that I'll get over you...
that you're not the
only fish in the sea,
but I don't want to.
I don't want to because
it's quite clear to me that I'm
never going to find anyone...
like you again in my whole life.
Because you keep your pride
when you cry
but still lean on me, I want you.
Because I feel warm when your laugh
turns autumn to summer, I want you.
Because just a sliver of happiness
is never enough for you,
Because you stand by me, when even
my best friend turns his back...
because your heart is as deep as
a coalmine, because you're amazing,
you're the one.
Will I see you at the Opera Ball tonight?
I don't think so.
Because I could grow old with you,
because we'll never stop being young,
I need you.
Because you feel the burning within me
and you never try to possess me,
I need you.
Because you can't remember why
we're together...
because you're crazy about me...
Because I only feel at home with you,
because you're amazing, you're the one.
Because just a sliver of happiness
is never enough for you...
because you stand by me,
when even my best friend turns his back...
because your heart
is as deep as a coalmine,
because you're amazing,
you're the one.
Here she is at last!
Emma Carter arrives at the Opera Ball...
accompanied by Argentina's
star footballer, Pablo Garcia!
This is the first time they've appeared
in public together.
Emma Carter and Pablo Garcia,
are they the new superstar dream couple?
Emma, Emma! You look fabulous!
Has Pablo Garcia, the football's
Prince of Hearts, won yours?
Excuse me, please!
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press and media,
the moment has come...
for the most romantic
announcement of the year!
It's my very great pleasure to announce...
that I have found the love of my life.
During the last few days,
I've been thinking a great deal.
About myself, my life and my future.
They say that home is where the heart is.
My heart lies here, in Austria.
Now I know where I belong,
thanks to someone
who reminded me
that you can't hide your roots.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
Here the ice in my soul melts
like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race
and at the other end of the world
I say proudly and...
if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria
I too have an announcement to make.
Yes, it is true, Emma Carter,
she is not my girlfriend.
I have no girlfriend!
I have a boyfriend!
His name is Diego and he wait
for me at home in Buenos Aires.
I love you Diego, I love...
Is it broken?
I don't hear anything.
Tell me...
- Richard...
you're fired!
What?!
Get lost!
I'll destroy you!
You'll never make another movie again!
Oh yes I will!
With Quentin Tarantino!
Elfie, what on earth are you wearing?
I'm a debutante!
She's Anna's stand-in.
Look at that!
You dance beautifully together.
That's because I'm leading!
Darling, I've got something for you.
- What is it?
A surprise!
Our fifth star!
My congratulations to you both!
Better wait with the congratulations.
- Oh? Why?
Josi, your father and I have decided
to go through life together,
the way we used to.
How do you mean?
We're officially handing
the management over to you.
What? Really?
Oh my God! But how am I
going to manage on my own...?
You've still got us!
For the next 180 years at least!
Life's path is often narrow,
leading through deep valleys
Where the sky is out of sight.
You can't go forwards, can't go back,
Lies and deception all around,
at the end of the tunnel there's no light.
You know you're lost
and sink to your knees
when suddenly a voice within you says:
Pull yourself together,
get to your feet,
don't lie there,
that's what they're waiting for.
Get a grip,
take it one step at a time,
only those who wander find their way back.
Luck makes everything easy
until it abandons you.
Suddenly, you're the lowest of the low.
Love leaves, friendships break.
No one wants to stay with you
in your darkest hour.
All that mattered
lies broken and shattered,
no strength to live,
no strength to die.
Pull yourself together,
get to your feet,
don't lie there,
that's what they're waiting for.
Get a grip,
take it one step at a time,
only those who wander
find their way back.
she insists on absolute discretion?
As a concierge,
I practically ooze discretion.
We don't have guests like this every day.
A Hollywood star from Austria!
Just like my friend Romy Schneider was!
You knew Romy Schneider?
Knew her? She stole
the part of a lifetime from me!
The role of Sissi?
"La Piscine"!
We can't have anything go wrong today!
And speaking of things going wrong,
where's my son? Hallo,
Mama'.
- dos“!
You're late!
And just look at you!
Have you been up all night?
It was in a good cause.
That's what my first husband
always used to say.
What about Emma Carter's rooms?
Immaculate!
My God, if all goes well
we might get our fifth star at last!
Josi, your car's
still parked in the driveway.
In this hotel we don't shout, young man!
Go easy on him,
he's still wet behind the ears.
I'll move it in a minute!
Can I do it?
Please, Josi, I'm old enough!
You might be, but the car isn't.
All right, people!
Emma Carter will be arriving
any minute now.
No one must know she's staying here.
Absolutely no one!
Otherwise the hotel
will be invaded by hangers-on...
and we can kiss discretion goodbye.
I'm relying on you!
Don't tell me you've told someone?
I didn't tell anyone exactly,
I just twittered...
You did what?!!
Oh wonderful, it's the smart set!
Deeply tanned all over
bodies buff and toned
Our masculinity
leaps out at you.
We're always laid back,
chic and elegant,
unbelievably cool,
amazingly fascinating,
And the chicks cling to us
non-stop like limpets...
because we've got, though we
don't want to boast, certain attributes.
2, 3, 4.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit...
we're a tour de force
we've got "it"
Darling, have I missed something?
Nothing important.
Just that we're ruined.
Just a quickie, all right?!
We're at home
in the smart set
because we're better than you...
we're where it's at because
we've got the power, we're cool...
when we get bored,
we just jet off to the sun...
and surf around
expertly on the waves.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit...
we're a tour de force
we've got "it".
Wait till I get my hands
on the person responsible!
Frau Edler, I've got
a confession to make...
No, it was me!
You?! We'll discuss this later!
Thank you, Josi. You're a bro!
But why did you do that?
It's my bleeding heart.
We don't give a Hugo Boss about money,
we can pay the de la Renta
because daddy's got
a gold-plated hedge fund.
We're the crème de la crème,
we're masters of wit,
we're a tour de
force we've got "it"...
here in Vienna.
Emma, this is the first time
you've come back to Austria in years.
Have you gone off the place?
Emma Carter is delighted
to be back here again.
Welcome to the Edler Hotel. Our family...
Ms Carter is very tired
after her long flight
and needs to take a rest.
Thank you.
Keys!
I show her to her suite personally...
You're coming to my office,
Franz-Joseph Edler!
When your mother uses your full name,
YOU jump to it.
The same applies to husbands.
How can anyone be so stupid?
He meant well...
Er, I mean, I meant well!
The Hotel Edler
stands for tradition, style and...
Outdated attitudes?
Discretion!
She wanted to stay here incognito!
And you?
And you drag that rabble into the place!
She'll survive.
Next week, Miss Superdiva
will be back in L.A.
and have forgotten all about us.
You put our reputation on the line.
What if Emma Carter criticizes
the hotel to the press?
Put your mind to sorting this mess out.
For years we've been working
to become a five-star hotel.
To join the élite!
Josi, we only need another half a star!
Instead of reaching for the stars,
you should move with the times.
What's the matter with you today?
We don't even have a Facebook page.
They're vulgar.
You know what else is important
these days? Flexibility!
But we are flexible.
We let you redesign the fitness room.
Oh yes, that awful gym.
That's what today's guests want.
Work-life balance, don't you understand?
- Not a wordl!
And I've got lots more ideas!
Your son is trying to ruin us.
Josi, your mother...
We could really push the envelope!
Attract a wider demographic...
But that would mean
you two trying something new!
Being spontaneous and uninhibited.
Anything is possible
but nothing's guaranteed
Your father advises you
"come to your senses
at last and start thinking about
securing your future!"
Your mother nods: quite so, my dear,
your generation swans through life...
you never had to live through war,
to teach you respect.
This is no joke. Take it to heart.
It's time to start worrying
about your pension.
But then the devil says
pile fuel on the fire.
It'll all be burned up
when you go to your grave...
no matter how you connive.
But anything is possible
so long as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed.
You can sleep when you're dead
because anything is possible
but nothing's guaranteed.
I want to show off the new spa
and fitness area in our brochure.
No one wants to see sweatbands
and rubber balls in a hotel brochure.
Yes, they do! It's part of the package.
And for the grand opening we're getting
- hold onto your hats - Pablo Garcia!
The striker for the Argentine
national team? That's amazing!
Ridiculous!
He's "World Footballer of the Year"!
That's...
- Splendid!
Stupid!
He's here for the Opera Ball,
so I wangled this.
Do you think I can get his autograph?
- Wolfgang, really!
It's our future that's at stake here!
- Then stop clinging to the past!
New ideas! Carpe diem!
Tomorrow may be too late.
You face the doctor,
stripped to the skin.
He wrinkles his brow and says:
I don't like the look of this.
Your blood test results
are all out of whack.
To put it bluntly, old age has never
looked so unlikely.
Wise up and slow down,
step on the brakes,
you're no spring chicken anymore.
But then the devil says
pile fuel on the fire...
it will all be burned up
when you go to your grave.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed.
Smirking like a fat cat at your investment
returns won't get you anywhere...
because nothing's guaranteed.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux nothing's guaranteed
From the day I was born I hit the ground
running so I say to myself so what?
Because nothing's guaranteed...
This is what you call incognito?
My instructions were crystal clear.
They screwed up.
You might as well have taken out
an announcement:
"Emma Carter is staying at the Edler.
Do drop in!"
This hotel is completely out of its depth.
Four-and-a-half stars!
Is that even a thing?
- Can't we just leave?
It's only for few days.
You can put up with Austria's Magic
Kingdom for that long.
I wouldn't count on it.
Don't be such a grinch!
Fine, I'll do the interviews tomorrow
and that TV thing,
but not the Opera Ball.
It's a great opportunity!
Think of the photos!
- Don't push it, Richard.
The photos will go viral.
You and Pablo!
The screen goddess
and the football's prince of hearts!
Oh, pass the sick-bag!
Emma,
we need those photos
and we need the publicity.
You can't afford another flop.
I'm fed up with doing
all this commercial crap.
Crap?
This is what you're famous for!
Romantic comedies.
I want my acting to make a statement.
Make a statement? Are you out
of your mind? This is Hollywood!
We can't go changing your entire image!
All I want is...
Hold on!
No, she's unavailable at this time...
Yes, goodbye, Quentin.
Did you just turn down Quentin Tarantino?!
The project wasn't right for you.
I've always dreamed of working with him!
You signed the contract, remember?
That deal is worth millions. You're making
"Whirlwind of Romance 5" and that's that.
I've got to get out of here.
I need some fresh air.
You can't, it's too dangerous.
Oh please, this is Vienna.
And you think Vienna's gonna be different?
You know what people are like
if they recognize you.
Okay.
- It's better if you stay.
Now get some shuteye.
You don't want to look older
than you already are tomorrow.
If you reach your goal too speedily,
if your dreams come true too easily...
if luck lifts you up too high,
you start to believe you can fly.
Dazzled by vanity
you don't realize you're lonely.
Does only my mirror know the real me?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
My parents were strict,
their minds were narrow,
when I left, it was on bad terms.
Without saying goodbye,
I wanted to leave forever
and free myself from their chains.
Suddenly freedom seemed boundless,
so much just fell into my lap,. ..
everyone was my best friend
in the world of glamour
where the sun always shines.
But no sooner does a cloud appear
then all that love just disappears.
Does only my mirror
know the real me?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
Do you make a habit
of just walking in like this?
No... I just wanted to apologize
for that little incident in the foyer.
Little? I was ready to find a new hotel.
That would be most regrettable!
Perhaps this will make you
regard us more favourably:
A little gesture of appreciation
from the Edler Hotel.
Voilà!
What is it?
Our world famous Edlertorte.
Edlertorte? I always thought
it was called...
Don't say that name!
They're our rivals.
I hope you like chocolate cake?
I have to watch my figure.
You're joking! One gram less
and you'd disappear completely.
By Hollywood standards, I'm podgy.
Then Hollywood hasn't got a clue.
We... I'd better...
Mmmm! It's very good!
Here, you try some!
But I can't just...!
Are you refusing to grant
a guest's request?
You're right!
Indulgence in the line of duty,
so to speak.
No one can possibly object to that!
You're not what I expected.
In what way?
You're nicer.
Oh, thanks a lot!
Somehow it tastes even better
off the floor.
What's in it?
- It's an old family recipe, top secret!
So you're the Edlers' son?
Is that a bad thing?
- Not at all.
Have fun at the Opera Ball!
Are you going, too?
- Wild horses couldn't drag me there!
All that fake posing gets on my nerves.
It's the same at the Oscars.
Or worse, at those
so-called "charity" events in L.A.
Yes, ghastly! All those society types who
suddenly discover
their social conscience...
but wouldn't dream
of actually mucking in to help.
Yes, better to go to a charity do and post
thousands of selfies on Instagram.
Hashtag: "Good cause".
This evening there's another do,
a do for everyone who's anyone.
It's not quite clear
what's the point of it all
but who cares as long as
we meet and greet.
The moment you enter
you're greeted by waves.
The ladies are plastered in
make-up as always...
The gentlemen are mostly tipsy
and laugh much too loudly at filthy jokes.
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends.
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand one another.
A trio wails thinly in the background,
the singers screech a strangled:
- O sole mio!
Then the sponsor babbles
something into the mic:
Well, that was very nice,
I hope you all enjoyed it
My stay is turning out to be more
entertaining than I expected.
So in fact you quite like it here with us?
I might just give you a second chance.
If you like, I could give you
a brief tour of the hotel later?
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends.
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand one another.
You said it!
The sweet taste of vipers' kisses
Is there a purer poison?
And if everything's harmonious,
someone will stir up trouble.
You look marvellous!
When did you have your face lifted?
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
The moment a flash goes off
we're all best friends
Kiss, kiss, we clink our glasses
and beam at each other...
even though we can't stand
one another.
Romy spotted me with her.
Do you think she's getting suspicious?
She'll never figure it out!
Josi's car is still in the driveway!
Where is Josi?
Can I drive it into the garage? Please?
I'm old enough!
- You might be, but the car isn't.
My dear Edler,
you pulled it off yet again!
I take my hat off to you!
- What do you mean?
The surprise reception for Emma Carter!
Other hotels would have kept it a secret.
We deliver!
You've really earned your tip this time,
my dear!
To you, Wolfgang!
You've given me a great front page!
Why don't you write about me?
You're not a celebrity.
You only say that because you've
never heard my "Traviata".
Were you an opera singer as well?!
Caruso and I were once...
but then Maria Callas had to interfere.
Elfie, enough is enough!
Emma Carter sells.
People can't get enough of her,
there's something about her.
That certain something!
I can spot it a mile off.
You're supposed to have eyes
only for me!
And I do, darling. You're my star!
I don't believe a word of it.
Don't you have any work to do?
Loads!
Emma Carter looks exactly the same
in real life as she does in her movies.
I don't want to know what kind of "movie"
is playing inside your head right now.
I do! Press replay!
And then slo-mo!
Emma Carter's a looker, all right!
She's so young!
So what? We're still young, too!
Well, let's say "in full bloom".
In full bloom?
I'd rather say the leaves are falling.
No, these are the best years.
Life races past you
and before you know it...
you start to panic, don't you?
And then fidelity fades to regret.
What's wrong with appreciating
youthful beauty?
Once you reach a certain age,
you start to get interesting again!
I call that proof...
Men in their prime,
the ones who drive fast cars...
are stuck on the career ladder
not getting anywhere.
Children make a happy home
according to his wife.
But at night, when he's on the roam,
he's not so sure.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis
When your palms are sweaty
although it's not that warm,
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till now,
but thank you, now I know!
Sometimes I think you're still
stuck at puberty!
My second husband was the same!
The blood suddenly pumps in his veins
and his synapses fizz...
when he sees slender female legs,
preferably in suspenders.
He sprays on clouds of Armani,
puts his arm around strange waists,
Why shouldn't slaves to matrimony
sleep in strange beds now and then?
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
When you're overtaken on the inside lane
and the driver's an old man.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till now,
but thank you, now I know!
"Sex on the beach", anyone?
While there's still life left
in their trousers
they visit houses of ill-repute.
By candlelight and champagne,
and say hooray!
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
When you're overtaken on the inside lane
and the driver's an old man.
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed before,
but thank you, now I know!
I call that proof of a midlife crisis
by day larifari at night nosferarri
I call that proof of a midlife crisis.
I hadn't noticed till know,
but thank you, now I know!
You don't really think I've got a problem,
do you?
Well, your mind
always seems to be wandering...
I think about us a lot.
Us? Why? What about "us"?
Yes, exactly! What about us?
Is there an "us" anymore?
Or is this just a marriage of convenience?
I don't have time
for this kind of discussion.
That's the point!
You never have time for anything!
Wolfgang, we haven't spent our whole lives
building up our good name just to...
Yes, we've built up a solid business
and we can be proud
of what we've achieved, but...
But?
- It's been twelve years
since we went on holiday.
Isn't it time we gave Josi
more responsibility
and had more time to ourselves?
The child would be
completely out of his depth.
Perhaps you should have more faith in him.
It would do us good, too.
All we ever talk about is the hotel.
You know how much there is to do.
What more do you want from me?
Try thinking about something
else for a change.
Have you forgotten how when we were young
the world seemed full of open doors?
Each day was more exciting than the next.
And now? The other night, for instance...
We went to the theater
for the first time in ages,
the play was very funny.
When it was over I asked myself
why don't we keep on laughing?
I help you into your Dior coat,
smell your hair
and remember how things used to be.
It's raining and a fight breaks out
over every taxi,
a fight I have to win.
We could have, as you said,
taken our own car.
How quickly we find ourselves
alone in the rain
when love goes missing...
when love is absent.
Wasn't it great on the last tram home?
We were soaked through,
held each other close,
as close as anyone can.
We had nothing and we needed nothing,
love was all that mattered.
How we used to laugh
on rainy nights like this,
never thinking how fast time flies!
We had nothing and we needed nothing
love was all that mattered.
And this is where we make
our famous Edlertorte.
It takes all these people?
The cake is crafted in 37 stages,
each of which requires a specialist,
and it's all done by hand.
That's incredible!
- Yes.
He, for instance, squirts the 24 blobs
of our original patented
Edler whipped cream
into exactly the right position.
What about her?
- She beats the eggs.
All day long?
Yes, it's the height of her ambition.
May I introduce Frau Stieglhuber?
Pleased to meet you.
Oh my God! I'm so sorry!
- It's all right!
She's just pleased to see you.
Isn't that right, Frau Stieglhuber?
Everything all right now?
And what's in here?
Oh, that...
That's our cold storage room.
It's where we store...
our cakes.
You can open it again, can't you?
Of course I can! I just have to...
Did you have any appointments today?
It could get a bit tight.
Are we trapped?
Just a minute, I'll call my manager.
He's got me out of worse situations.
Oh, there's no reception!
Hello?
Hello?! We're in here!
Well, that worked brilliantly.
Everyone should do something crazy
now and again.
Freezing to death next to
a pile of cakes is certainly crazy.
Better?
Thank you.
The next shift starts in two hours.
Someone's bound to come then.
Till then...
voilà!
Your table awaits, Ms Carter!
As you know, it tastes much better
off the floor.
"Emma Carter"...
I take it that's a stage name?
My manager thought it up,
he says it's more "international".
Will you tell me you real name?
- No.
Please?
Pretty please?
Adele Waldvogel.
That's a lovely name.
And what's it like being
a Waldvogel in Hollywood?
Hollywood is a place where they pay
you 50,000 dollars for a kiss...
and 50 cents for your soul.
Marilyn Monroe!
Yes! And all that matters is how you look.
That's hardly a problem for you!
That's what you think!
You wouldn't believe the things
I had to do to get my break.
And? How did you pull it off?
I started playing their game.
It might surprise you to hear it, but...
Until three years ago Adele was
a woman who didn't turn heads.
With a shapely figure
and in the pink of health
she couldn't quite work out why.
"Then people said to me "Aha!
You need more than a Wonderbra!
Pamela Anderson and Claudia Schiffer
"are both blondes, you could be too."
I thought instead of hoping for a miracle,
I'll try peroxide.
They wanted me as blonde as a white bread
roll, blonde, or blonder, than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a field of corn
because things go easier for blondes.
Blonde as a white bread roll
blond, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blond, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen, so they say,
prefer blondes.
I had hardly left the hairdresser's
when chaos broke out on the roads.
Everybody wondered
why rush hour had come so early that day.
Adele said to herself:
"Well, well! It seems the charms of
woman-kind don't lie
in brilliance of mind."
Really? Whoever would have guessed?
The lechers all go goggle-eyed
thanks to a splash of peroxide.
I only wanted to be blonde
as a white bread
roll, blonde, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a field of corn
because things go easier for blondes.
Blonde as a white bread roll
blond, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen, so they say,
prefer blondes.
But if anyone says,
"Don't play hard-to-get!
Come and join me on my water bed!"
I answer, "You think I'm dumb,
I bet, but actually I'm a brunette."
I'm only blonde, too blonde to be true,
blonde, blonder than a sunbeam...
Blonde, blonde as a bale of straw
because gentlemen prefer blondes.
How would you like to come
to the Opera Ball with me?
What, that snobfest?
Everyone should do
something crazy now and again.
I suppose nothing can happen
to me if I'm with you.
They're in there, I know it!
I simply can't imagine...
Wait, wait.
Open the door!
See! What did I tell you?!
Emma!
- Richard!
Josi! What are you two doing in here?
I do apologise,
Ms Carter, has he been
making a nuisance of himself?
No, quite the opposite!
He was very charming.
Thanks God!
Charming?!
He's a kidnapper!
If word of this gets out,
we might lose one of our stars!
Richard, don't exaggerate!
We're just good friends.
- How did you find us?
A tip-off from the kitchen staff.
They were too shy to come
in, that's all.
Emma,
we're going back
to your suite right now!
Would you give us a moment, please?
- Emma, I...
It's all right, Josi.
- Of course.
Richard,
I'm a grown woman!
I can look after myself.
So how come you keep getting into danger?
Why can't I just lead a normal life?
Because you're Emma Carter!
A superstar! You can't lead a normal life!
Oh yes I can. As you can see.
Do you realize what will happen
if this gets out?
When you and Pablo go to the Opera Ball...
I'm taking Josi to the ball.
What?!
Are you crazy? We've already
fixed things with the soccer player.
Then you take him.
Emma, remember what a fiasco
your last relationship...
with a normal guy turned out to be.
He used you to launch his own career.
I've made up my mind.
- If you go ahead with this, then...
Then what?
Then what?
Ok...
you're tired and irritable.
I understand.
You need to rest.
I'll leave you alone for now
and see you later in the suite.
Your new movie will be a hit
and you'll have the world
at your feet again.
I used to live for applause,
felt at home everywhere...
had almost forgotten where I come from.
But the price was high:
rootless and restless,
and a longing grew in me.
Now here I stand and ask myself
what really matters?
Does only my mirror know who I really am?
Where is home?
Where do I belong?
All right!
Let's do it one more time, Felix!
What if someone sees us?
So what?
It's the most natural thing in the world.
Not for me, it isn't!
Just let yourself go...
Enjoy it!
The Edlers are in the next room!
Relax!
Look...
we need to get really close,
breathe in synchrony.
Yes, we have to find our rhythm!
No, I can't!
You'll never impress the jury like this!
It's Anna I want to impress!
Now she'll laugh at me!
- No, she won't!
One more time...
Elfie!
What are you doing?
- Not right now.
We're practicing left turns.
You're what?
We're Waltzing!
His Anna wants to be a deb at the ball.
The pretty one
who works in the restaurant?
Yes! And I've got to master
these stupid left turns
otherwise she'll go with Martin.
The short ugly one from the laundry?
He can dance.
I remember Waltzing
with Johann Strauss...
The Elder or the Younger?
Both.
That was 180 years ago!
It's as if it were yesterday!
And were you also
a friend of the Emperor's?
No, a relative!
My mother was Katharina Schratt!
Who??
Just Google it!
Ah, our Casanova wannabe!
Warmer now?
Seeing you is like an ice-cold shower.
Watch your step, wise guy!
Has Pablo Garcia checked in yet?
Unfortunately,
we can't give out any information
about our guests.
Now listen up, you two clowns...
- What do you want from Pablo Garcia?
Okay...
so Pablo's taking Emma to the Opera Ball.
They'll be the new dream couple. And you
are not going to come between them!
That can't be right.
She wants to go with me.
With you?
Yes.
Did she tell you that?
She invited me.
Ridiculous!
You can put that idea out of your head.
You don't seriously think a top star
like Emma Carter
is going to go to the ball
with someone like you?
You mean I'm not good enough for her?
I suggest you take
a look in the mirror, squirt!
And then take a look at Pablo...
He's got a backside like Apollo
and his hips swing with elan.
He's got the charm of Rene Kollo
and the eyes of Genghis Khan.
"You'll always be a loser,"
his teacher used to sneer,
Now he's a male underwear model,
a macho and a sex symbol.
And a shrimp like you has no chance.
Macho macho can't be taught,
macho macho's how you're born.
Macho machos are ahead of the rest,
macho machos live dangerously.
Macho machos are out and proud.
They only meet their match-a
fending off the crowds.
Here comes another scoundrel
to pinch him on the burn.
You can't blame her, that wasp waist
would make a nun sweat.
Macho machos stay in fashion,
macho machos never die.
Macho machos are who women want to pull
macho machos provoke envy.
Machos lose a lot of friends
because they're always six inches ahead.
She loves sexy tv cop shows
and often lies awake at night...
while her husband
in his flannel pyjamas
only has eyes for the fridge.
She dreams of Eros Ramazotti
and Julio lglesias...
but the tame donkey in her bed says
"leave me alone, I'm reading".
Only macho machos have the stamina,
macho machos own the world,
macho machos have
what others sadly lack.
Machos machos are a necessity,
machos get harassed by everyone
from loo cleaners to stewardesses.
The wives of industry and aristocracy are
as fond of a Tyrolean hunk...
as a gentleman from Rimini.
Hello, Dad.
Everything all right?
Everything's hunky-dory.
Coming from you,
that means things are bad.
Dad?
Have you ever been stood up?
I've been stood in the corner
by your mother.
You're not taking me seriously!
- Of course I do.
Dad...
Imagine you're a little squirt...
A squirt?
- Yes.
Yes, and then one day you meet
a beautiful, hot, blonde
bread roll...
A blonde bread roll?
Yes, and then some half-witted tortilla
steals her from you!
Listening to you is making me hungry!
You're not even trying to understand!
- On the contrary!
Do you think that's never happened to me?
To you? Really?
- Of course!
That must have been yonks ago!
Thanks a lot!
It wasn't that long ago.
I remember it perfectly.
I was on a summer holiday
with my girlfriend.
We were ready for adventure!
We were happy.
And then...
And then?
- Then suddenly it was all over.
I felt a right fool.
I stand in the heat on the Strada del Sole
my feet hurt in my new sandals...
my girlfriend's run off with an Italian,
my money's been stolen,
now I'm all on my own.
And I've got no lira...
and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
Things suddenly got serious
with medallion man
and she left me standing here...
in my new sandals, it's a scandal.
I've got no lira and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
He wanted a more with my Bella ragazza
the sentimental kind,
then the on-the-mattress kind...
Then he roared up in his Alfa Romeo.
At first I laughed at him,
now look who's laughing.
I've got no lira, and no passport,
it's hard to see a bright side.
He won her with witty dolce far niente
no brain in his skull...
but motto potente -
I'll beat him a! dente!
I've got no lira and no passport.
It's hard to see a bright side.
I wanted to see Florence and Rome and Pisa
but now I'm fed up with Italian geezers.
Totally skint and all on my own how
I wish I'd stayed
with my friends back home.
Italy can jump in a lake.
I don't need this tripe,
I've got the local swimming pool.
Jesolo can take a hike.
And a good thing, too!
- What is?
That you let the young lady
run off with Medallion Man...
otherwise you'd never have met Mum!
That "lady" came back to me
two weeks later full of remorse.
We've been married
for over 25 years now...
Mum!
' exactly!
Things often don't turn out
the way you expect.
I see.
- You know what?
Play hard to get!
Maybe all your bread roll needs
is a little time...
Tell her you don't have a problem
with the tortilla.
If she's the right one for you,
she'll make the right choice.
That's true! Thanks, Dad!
Love you!
- I should hope so too, squirt!
It's me, Josi!
Come in!
I need to choose
a gown for the ball...
Have you heard of Jean Paul Gaultier?
Sure, Jean Paul. My old pal.
He designed this gown specially for me.
Of course, he did.
I just want to be sure you like it, too!
Wouldn't it make more sense to ask
Pablo Garcia which gown to wear?
What?
You heard me.
Your date for the Opera Ball.
You didn't have to play me for a fool...
I just want to make one thing clear:
First and foremost, you are a guest
and I am providing a service.
Our time together was just an
"indulgence in the line of duty."
That's Jean Paul Gautier?!
No, that's comfortable.
And I'm not going to the Opera Ball in it,
nor am I going with Pablo Garcia.
Seriously?
Yes, seriously.
You look like an ordinary person...
well, a goddess-like ordinary person...
And now what might we two
ordinary people get up to?
We need to get out of here!
Let's go on a little trip!
You're full of surprises!
- It's my trademark.
But how can we get out?
The hotel's besieged by paparazzi.
Through the catacombs
straight to the Hofburg.
Really?
" No!"
But there is a secret back entrance.
Come on,
I'll show you a different side of Vienna!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Don't hold out hopes
of the sound of a waltz
or a Viennese heart of gold.
Thank god, we've more or less got
over that kind of sentiment.
By day, she's beautiful,
a photographer's dream...
at night she's steamy
and melts every ice cream.
So you've been overseas to
New York and L.A...
Rio de Janeiro
didn't make you happy either.
You know Tel Aviv particularly well,
you dream of Paris and as for Moscow,
everybody dreams of that.
I can't believe you just
upped sticks and left.
Leaving home wasn't hard.
Aren't you ever homesick?
I'm not really at home anywhere.
I'd like to take off someday, too,
but somehow I never manage it.
This city is like a shout,
it's high and modern,
everyone loves its scent,
everyone adores Vienna.
That was close!
It must be awful
to be mobbed everywhere you go.
That's why Richard
wants to keep me locked up.
It's crazy!
You become world famous
and all you want is not to be noticed.
Yes, I've been overseas
to New York and L.A.,
Rio de Janeiro
didn't make me happy either.
I love Mexico, Rome and Tokyo,
but there, like in Peru,
I hardly slept a wink.
Let me show you a place where
you won't be recognized!
Now that I'd like to see.
- Prepare to be surprised!!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
If anything happens to Emma Carter
it'll be the end of you!
You never know what fans will do,
she's in danger out there!
All alone, with no bodyguards,
in the big city things look black,
I foresee disaster
and it's all your son's fault!
This is even more exciting
than that time with Orson!
Orson Welles?
The third man in my life!
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Josi!
- Hi there!
All running smoothly?
- Yes,
we've just handed out
the fourth delivery
and the fifth should be here any moment.
Excellent! We distribute
the hotel's leftover food to the homeless.
This really is a surprise.
Your parents must be proud of you.
They don't know about it.
It's better this way.
You give these people a glimmer of hope.
It makes what I do
seem even more pointless.
Something gnaws at your soul
something gives you no rest...
Something, something...
- closes your throat.
A feeling as if you were slowly bleeding,
a feeling as if you had wept.
A feeling as if you had...
united all the yearning
in the world within you.
No more questions,
because the answer is too painful.
No more complaining,
because nothing matters anymore.
Not a fair land in these times
and no homeland in sight...
Not a fair land in these times
and no homeland,.
not even a home.
We'd better go, it's getting late...
There was an incident one time in Chicago.
She almost died.
I swear we'll do everything in our power.
Have you ever seen Vienna by night,
have you ever had the pleasure?
You can't see if the trees are in blossom,
much loved though they are.
Don't ask where St Stephen's cathedral is,
or when and why it was built.
Don't look for the blue Danube,
it's all been dammed up.
Have you ever seen Vienna...
by night?!
Good morning!
What a night!
If Felix hadn't taken my car
and come and fetched us...
Just in time!
And then he even hid us at his place...
It was really sweet of him.
And you had to sleep in the armchair,
you poor thing?
It was fine.
I'm sure I'll be able to feel my legs
again in an hour or two.
126 missed calls?
A stalker?
- In a manner of speaking.
Richard's looking for me.
Oh God, the interviews!
I completely forgot!
Is that such a bad thing?
Ok, I'm going to do something
I've never done before.
Not com-ing...
II
And?
It feels good!
Did you make this?
Felix doesn't have much
in the way of food.
The boy appears to subsist
entirely on Nutella.
Proper brown bread!
I missed this so much!
They don't have in in the States.
Poor America! No bread!
- It's true.
But going there...
was a liberation.
A liberation? What from?
My parents... things were tricky.
I know the feeling!
I wasn't neglected or anything,
it's just that my parents
put people into pigeonholes.
And I didn't fit into any of them.
One day, I left and never went back.
We haven't spoken since.
But now that you're here...
wouldn't you like to give them a ring?
No, I can't.
Is the therapy session over yet?
I can't sleep a wink!
Felix! How can we thank you
for last night?
I've got an idea...
Your car?!
You're old enough.
Yes, I am, but...
- So is the car by now.
Thank you!
Baby, baby, baby, here I come!
Oh God, the grand opening!
The fitness room!
I totally forgot!
- Is that such a bad thing?
Get out of here!
I won't be long!
Time off at last!
There's been no sign of her
for over fourteen hours.
This is a disaster of biblical
proportions! And it's all your fault.
Calm down! We'll find her.
The police will leave no stone unturned.
They've put their best squad onto it.
Gustaf one
- to Gustaf two
Get ready for the raid!
Get ready...
- here we go again.
An old lady with eyes
and ears everywhere, has complained...
about the racket from a cellar,
her doggy's very upset.
Even a nice married couple
complained to the police...
something illegal must be going on,
I bet it's a "new wave" bar.
With Gustaf one and Gustaf two
get ready for the raid!
With any luck we'll smoke out
a nest of drug addicts.
Cobra, cobra, please surrender.
The youth of today are a disgrace!
Things are going to hell in a hand basket,
we'll show them!
Those scum deserve to feel
the full force of the law!
For that we've got, thank god,
our special squad!
Gustaf one - to Gustaf two
- Get ready for the raid!
This time try to use your brains
- Or things will go pear-shaped again.
The last operation was a flop,
we may have been a little rough.
Even though we planned it out
just like Kojak always does.
We roughed up a guy
with a needle in his vein.
We thought he was a punk
but he had diabetes.
No heroin, just insulin.
All rigtht, everyone!
We've got to find this young lady!
I've seen her somewhere before.
Come on, let's go!
And don't forget:
evil lurks around every corner!
Gustaf one to Gustaf two,
the facts don't add up...
what you told us isn't true.
Have you sent us on a wild goose chase?
We drove through half the city
with a massive squad.
You know how fast we can act,
a hundred men, no need for orders.
But when we got there,
there were no users...
we couldn't believe our eyes,
just a tv on too loud!
Still no sign of her!
The police found this, though.
Other hotels misplace umbrellas,
you lose guests!
Until we have more information,
we should all say calm.
As the air hostess said before
the plane crashed!
I'm sure Josi's taking good care of her.
I'm going to cancel
Emma's interviews for today.
When I get back...
you'd better be able to tell me
where your son's keeping her prisoner...
Prisoner?
- or I will personally remove
every one of those
four and a half stars out there!
Excuse me, is this a bad time?
- This is... my business.
I'm afraid now isn't a good time,
can we postpone it?
No problem! You've got my number.
Wolfgang,
when are you going to tell me
who that is?
It's not important.
Not important?
We're up to our necks in problems
and you're making eyes
at a girl who could be your daughter!
Romy, really!
- You're obviously
trying to recapture your lost youth.
Don't start that again!
And of course you needed a sports car
to impress your bit of fluff.
That was a present for Josi.
He's not interested in cars.
What is it you want from me?
I want you to...
concentrate on the business
like you used to.
Of course, the business!
The hotel always comes first!
The hotel... is my life!
I thought I was.
Do you even want to be that anymore?
Of course I do.
How we used to laugh
on rainy nights like this,
never thinking how fast time flies!
We had nothing and we needed nothing,
love was all that mattered...
Love was all that mattered...
I wish I could believe you.
Yes, of course.
I don't understand...
One second, please.
Now it should work.
Yes, I hear you.
A surprise... I'll see to it, Emma!
Emma? Was that Emma Carter?
Just clearing my throat. Em-ma.
And Josi's on his way? Good!
Au revoir, ma chère!
The reporters are getting restless.
Josi's still not back.
Frau Elfie, how long are you
going to keep us waiting?
Señor Pablo,
we need to improvise!
Qué?
- Game on!
Muy bueno!
You look athletic!
Years of training.
Gymnastics?
- Boxing.
In the ring?
- On the sofa.
Ladies and gentlemen: Pablo Garcia!
Till the early morning hours,
I sit on my own, watching boxing on TV.
Because seeing two men get creamed,
boosts my low self-esteem.
When their faces are swollen
and red with blood,
I take a big bite of my schnitzel roll.
And when one of them's finally forced to
his knees, I knock back a swig of my beer.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
If a referee gets beaten up,
if they kick his face in,
if there's a mass punch-up.
It's as if I'm right there,
because on my colour tv,
I can see it all perfectly.
World cup skiing bores her,
because she's hardened to it.
The only thing that can still
excite her is a serious accident.
A fall at 120 km/h
results in delighted "whoops-a-daisy!"
And when a body lies unmoving in the snow
my coffee tastes particularly good.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
If halfway down the run,
someone loses one ski
and barrels head-first into the scenery,
in a hair-raising crash,
then if he survives
he gets interviewed afterwards.
Wow! Elfie's bringing the house down!!
Ladies and gentlemen,
our junior manager and initiator
of the new spa and fitness area...
Franz Joseph Edler!
Josi, you're on!
Over time, every sport gets a little dull
if it lacks danger...
everyone loves formula one
because now and then a car overturns.
On the sofa, we clutch our drinks
in excitement,
hoping for a proper pile-up.
It takes a spectacular crash
to give a grand prix a real kick.
Long live sport!
It's healthy and makes us tough!
It gives us strength and vigour!
It's popular with old and young!
Exploding cars make for happy spectators,
because a fiery inferno
is a sight for sore eyes.
Merriment in the stands,
is the best thing about sport.
Long live sport!
Now I have to go and get Emma.
- No need.
Here I am!
- Elfie?!
Emma!
Now I've got a surprise for you! Elfie!
"Our bachelorette's helicopter..."
will take you to a secret hideaway
where you can enjoy a fantastic view and...
"get to know each other better!"
An trip?
So, Josi, it's time
to make up your mind...
Get out of here before someone sees you!
- Mum and dad will roast me alive!
Don't worry.
I practically ooze discretion.
This makes you our accomplice in crime.
Where would Bonny and Clyde
have been without me?
Still alive?
Get along with you!
- I know, the helicopter's right outside.
Spot on!
- You're kidding?!
You can order anything online.
You just need the right app.
And all I've ever ordered is pizza.
Who's even going to fly the thing?
- Me!
God, I'd forgotten
how beautiful Austria is!
This is my home!
Home is where the heart is!
Will you look at that! And I went all
the way to California to find happiness!
Autopilot.
I guess you can't hide your roots.
Now I'm here, seeing this, I don't know...
I never thought I'd say this...
but I've missed all this.
Somehow I understand things better now...
where I come from...
this country...
Your glory days are long past
and you've lived through hell as well.
Not much remains of power and splendour...
tell me, who still
doffs their hat to you
apart from me?
I know your people,
I know the rats among
them, the stupidity
that makes angels weep.
I'll stand by you through
sunshine and shadow,
now and forever.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
here the ice in my soul melts
like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race and,
at the other end of the world
I say proudly
and, if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria!
I used to envy the migrating storks,
now I fly much further afield...
I mostly see you from a distance.
No one knows,
how much that sometimes hurts.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
here the ice in my soul
melts like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race and at the end
of the world I say proudly and...
if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria!
Josi, now I've got
another surprise for you!
Don't tell me
you've chartered a jumbo jet?
Better than that!
They must be somewhere...
Oh my God, they're actually still here!
Voilà!
Come along!
Wow!
- Welcome to the Waldvogel cabin!
Your family owns this?
Yes, I spent half my childhood
here with my parents.
I keep discovering new sides to you.
I always used to build
the fire with my father.
He taught me how.
We came skiing here every winter.
You can ski?
- Yes!
Do you still ski?
- I'd like to, but I'm not allowed.
Says who?
The insurance company.
If I dropped out of a movie,
it would cost the producers millions.
What kind of a life is that?
You might as well live in an oxygen tent
and only come out for filming.
Richard would like that.
Ta-da! These are our old skis.
They must be two metres long! Cool!
They ought to fit you, Josi.
Let's hit the slopes!
You're willing to risk
a couple of million just for a laugh?
Everyone should do
something crazy now and again.
You're crazy, all right!
Maybe.
Or maybe I've finally found myself.
I assume the slopes have been
postponed indefinitely?
Maybe this time you won't have
to sleep in the armchair...
Right now, I can't imagine anywhere
I'd rather be.
Me neither.
At some point the day will come
when you ask yourself...
how much of the life you live
is really yours.
Always driven, always devoted,
strong for everyone else,
but when you're weak, then left alone.
You soon grew a thick skin.
Impermeable, riddled with parasites.
You no longer know what you feel
when you count your scars.
And when you go out,
there is no one who misses you.
Take heart and never let it go...
when your longing grows
it wants to be unleashed.
Take heart,
a heart that beats like yours...
wild and fierce,
that fills the emptiness within you.
Maybe you aimed too high.
Your ego was capricious.
You sought yourself
and cursed your God
and your ambition blinded you.
Take heart and never let it go...
of all the hearts
that threw themselves at you
not one has stayed.
Take heart a heart that beats like yours,
so wild and fierce,
that fills the emptiness.
You may think vanity will hold off time...
but your mirror tells you
you're no longer blond.
Take heart and never let it go.
Loneliness is vast,
you can lose yourself in it.
Take heart, a heart that beats like yours,
so wild and fierce,
to fill the emptiness at last.
Hello?
Mum?
Yes, it's me...
Good morning!
Morning!
- Let's go!
Where are you going?
- To the slopes!
Five more minutes...
- Ah, you need fresh air!
Emma, is that your lover?!
What does Pablo have to say about this?
How did they know...?
Don't play the innocent with me!
What?
Do you think I don't know
who tipped them off?
I don't understand...
Kiss, kiss, all for the cameras!
That's what you were really after, right?
- I'm sorry?
God, I'm so stupid!
This was all a huge mistake.
- A mistake? How can you say that?
Elfie was boasting only yesterday how
cleverly you used Pablo
as bait for the press.
And now it's my turn.
- No, wait, you've got it all wrong!
Damn, how am I going to get out of here?
- Emma
Emma? It's me, Richard!
Open up!
Richard!
Thank God!
See what you've done?
I hope you're happy now!
- You can't keep her locked up forever.
Richard, get me out of here!
I hope you realize now that you can't
possibly lead a normal life.
Macho machos stay in fashion,
macho machos never die...
macho machos are who
women want to pull.
Macho machos provoke envy,
machos lose a lot of friends...
because they're always six inches ahead.
What do you mean, none of them fit?
The waist, it is perfect, but up here...
Don't tell me you've ripped
all the tailcoats?!
All kaput.
Too small for Pablo's big musckles.
Houston, we have a problem!
Can you find a tailcoat
that is fitting me?
Can I! I used to dress Rodolfo Valentino.
Disaster has struck!
You look like you
have swallow a football.
Worse than that!
- Has something happened to Josi?
Worse than that!
- To Anna?
Man is born to suffer
as the sparks fly upwards!
"Sparksflyup-a" you what?
I have thrown away
the dearest thing I owed!
Do you want to talk about it?
The rest is silence.
He is in a not good state!
Perhaps mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
would help?
No!!
- A joke...
Tell me, what happened?
Everything was wonderful, but then...
Now I'm back to sitting here on my own,
how could you do this to me?
I can't go into the café,
because they'll all laugh at me again.
I was always the idiot, the dimwit,
but when I showed up with you...
their jaws dropped, their eyes goggled.
Jealous as hell, I could see straight off,
how jealous they were...
but you were mine, all mine!
How can it be over?
I'll never be happy again,
you're lying out there on the scrap heap...
you were everything to me.
I can't fight back my tears, you were
such a hot set of wheels...
and now you're nothing but scrap.
One little prang
and you have to sing an entire operetta?
You have a beautiful voice!
You don't know how much I loved that car!
I don't understand how it happened.
I could have taken
that corner at 130 easy.
Maybe the 6 glasses of wine
weren't such a good idea...
but six glasses doesn't mean
you're pissed, does it?
Nothing would have happened
if it wasn't for that stupid tree...
"Keep Vienna green",
what a load of crap! They should plant
their greenery some place else.
I wouldn't have cared
if I'd only lost my license.
We could have had an illicit affair,
but having to sell you for scrap
just breaks my heart.
I'll never be happy again.
You're lying out there on the scrap heap
you were everything to me.
I can't fight back my tears,
you were such a hot set of wheels...
and now you're nothing but scrap.
Josi's going to kill me!
And then the boss will kill me.
And then she'll sack me.
It won't happen,
I'll see to that.
If you can pull that off,
you deserve a Nobel Prize.
I nearly got one once...
but Mother Theresa was too greedy.
I have not understand one single word.
Emma?!
Emma, I need to talk to you!
She doesn't want to see you.
I don't believe you! We were going to...
- Once and for all...
there is no "we".
The party's over.
But I know all this is exactly
what Emma doesn't want!
And do you also know that
at the Opera Ball this evening Emma
is going to announce
her engagement to Pablo Garcia?
Her... engagement?
Oh, didn't she tell you?
I advise you to forget all about her.
Forget her?
How could I ever forget her?
She charms you with tears
and she smiles when she lies...
because she knows
one glance from her is enough.
She can be harbour and homeland
and then be utterly alien.
She is the one who gives me wings
and holds me back.
When she wants, she can be like summer
or if not then cold as ice...
she never offers proof of her love.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
it's so hard with her...
but I don't know what to do
if I lose her.
Josi! There you are at last!
Mum I...
- How could you do such a thing?
Run off with a guest!
And with her, of all people!
I know, Mum,
but I couldn't help it.
She's simply...
She's a Hollywood star!
What do you want with a woman like that?
She doesn't want to see me anymore.
Well, what did you expect?
You were playing with fire!
- No, Romy, don't you see? He's in love.
She's not the right woman for him.
There is no "right woman".
There's only her.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
however much my head rebels,
she's a part of me.
She's abandoned in her nights
when she loves brief moments.
She bursts all dams when she surrenders.
Somehow there's no one like her.
Lioness and lamb,
furious and tame.
She twists with the wind,
cheeky as a child,
it's so hard with her,.
but I don't know what to do
if I lose her.
You know what?
Follow your heart.
That's what I did.
Dad told me about the Strada del Sole.
Really?
Why did you go back to him?
Because after my little adventure...
I realized I didn't want
to spend my life with anyone
but your father.
And while we're being honest
with each other...
Why didn't you tell us about that?
I thought you wouldn't approve.
Helping the homeless
won't get you any stars.
But what you're doing is wonderful!
From now on the Hotel Edler
will be an official sponsor!
Thank you!
We love you!
We can be proud of him.
Yes, very.
I know I should have told you this
a long time ago...
Is this about that woman?
She's... a travel agent.
So that's how you met?
She's made me a few offers...
for a trip to the Strada del Sole.
With her?
With you, of course!
Just you and me. Some time out.
It was meant to be a surprise.
So that's what all the secrecy was about!
I know, I'm a lousy liar.
And I'm amazed you put up with me!
I'm so sorry...
All this work...
swallowed up my life!
I lost touch with my own needs and...
I hardly even noticed you.
I'm so lucky to have you.
I'd love to help more...
if you'd only let me.
I Will... I'd like that.
And there's something else.
I just want to say thank you,
for the way your eyes laugh
and shed tears.
And for picking up my courage
from the floor,
all those times I flung it down in anger.
Come here, my darling!
We've always made a good team.
Oh, Wolfie,
that feels so good!
Whenever I reached the end of my tether,
you always knew how to carry on.
I want to thank you for all the hours
you've spent waiting for me...
when I came home late at night.
And for always thinking
I was the best thing
ever though I know
hat a total idiot I am.
I just want to say thank you,
because I know I can be hard to stomach:
And one more thing
I should have said more often:
I want you and I love you.
Engaged? Are you out of your mind?
What do you mean?
You agreed to it!
We said photos!
- No.
We'd pose for photos,
we'd spread a few rumours, that was it.
No one said anything
about getting engaged!
It's just a promise, not a commitment!
It'll be the biggest media coup
since the moon landing!
Whatever. It doesn't matter
anyway since I'm not going.
What?!
Of course you're going!
Do you really think,
after that disaster this morning
that I'm going to dance serenely
at the Opera Ball with Pablo Garcia
as if nothing had happened?
Those goddamned paparazzi!
It must be all over the internet!
Don't lose your nerve!
There won't be any scandal.
Oh, really?
And how are you going to manage that?
There are ways and means.
Show business is like politics!
Look around you!
Maybe then you'll finally figure out
how the world works.
The details are regrettably unclear:
On a summer night a gentleman
was lurking in a car park...
with an envelope in his pocket.
In the distance two lights can be seen,
a dark blue jaguar screeches up.
Snow-white faces inside,
only the driver is a Nigerian.
The envelope is handed into the car.
Hearts beat faster, it's a perfect deal.
A generous donation will secure
almost any major project.
The minister gives a sudden laugh,
recognizing the rustle...
and he whistles a little tune:
Tango corrupti,
if you're found out and exposed
you hire a competent lawyer...
and just like that you're out of it.
Even a tax investigation
is no cause for aggravation,
because everything we have
is in a haven in the Bahamas.
You're going to buy the photos back?
No shit, Sherlock!
Under one condition:
tonight at the Opera Ball
you announce your engagement
to Pablo Garcia to the whole world.
That's blackmail.
That's an ugly word.
Let's just say you made
the politically correct decision.
And you can give that squirt...
Josi his marching orders.
Do you really think I want to see him
again after what he did to me?
God, you're so naive! Do you really still
think he ratted on you to the paparazzi?
Oh my God! It was you!
- Bingo!
A little lesson...
Do you really think everyone can be
bought? Me, Pablo, the press, everyone?!
I "invest".
Everyone wants a piece of the pie.
How else do you think you became a star?
You can either be a Wallflower
or you can join the dance!
Tango corrupti
if you're found out and exposed...
you hire a competent lawyer
and just like that you're out of it.
Even a tax investigation
is no cause for aggravation.
Because everything we have
is in a haven in the
Bahamas.
Elfie, is there such thing
as a solo waltz?
If you can dance that,
I'll register you at the Patents Office.
Anna's dumped me.
She thinks I'm a loser without the car.
Silly bint.
So I'm not going to the ball.
- That makes two of us.
Emma never wants to see me again.
Can someone please
explain women to me?
How long have you got?
Right now, I'd like to climb into my car
and drive straight into a tree.
I've already done that for you.
What?!
Vienna's answer to Jimmy Dean
has total led your car!
Are you all right? You're not hurt?
- No, no...
But your car's a write-off.
I'm so sorry!
Felix, that's what insurance is for.
What's up with Emma?
She thinks I'm a write-off, too.
And I'm not insured...
Hotel Edler, Elfie Schratt,
Head Concierge,
how may I help you?
Yes...?
But of course, ma'am!
She wants to see you.
- Who?!
Her!
That's impossible!
Anything is possible!
But nothing's guaranteed!
You're right!
Do you think that means...
I mean, maybe she...?
I wouldn't put anything past a woman.
- I'd be the happiest man alive!
And I know where you two can meet up.
There's only one place in the hotel
that isn't busy at this hour.
The patisserie!
- Off you go!
But how can we get Emma to come?
You know "I Dream of Jeannie"?
- Sure!
I taught her everything she knew.
Anything is possible so long
as you're on the move.
Life is in flux,
nothing's guaranteed.
Anything is possible!
But nothing's guaranteed!
I'm so glad you...
I mean, I couldn't quite believe...
after everything that...
I mean... it's pretty crazy...
I mean, us two and...
if someone makes you so...
when your heart's bursting
and you just know...
if you get what I'm saying?
I do, Josi. Every word of it.
Good. Because I worked out in advance
exactly what I wanted to say.
Josi, we two live
in completely different worlds.
How is this supposed to work?
We'll find a way.
You don't even know me.
"Emma Carter" is a brand, not a person.
But I don't care about "Emma Carter".
I want the person underneath.
I want you.
It's more complicated than you realise.
I've made certain commitments.
And we could never be seen
in public together.
We could never even really be
a proper couple.
I can't do that to you.
It wouldn't be fair.
Is this about Pablo?
It's got nothing to do with him.
What is it then?
Josi, I'm very grateful to you for
all the moments we shared...
and for showing me who I am.
But please understand... it won't work.
I suppose I could tell myself
that it's all okay,
that I'll get over you...
that you're not the
only fish in the sea,
but I don't want to.
I don't want to because
it's quite clear to me that I'm
never going to find anyone...
like you again in my whole life.
Because you keep your pride
when you cry
but still lean on me, I want you.
Because I feel warm when your laugh
turns autumn to summer, I want you.
Because just a sliver of happiness
is never enough for you,
Because you stand by me, when even
my best friend turns his back...
because your heart is as deep as
a coalmine, because you're amazing,
you're the one.
Will I see you at the Opera Ball tonight?
I don't think so.
Because I could grow old with you,
because we'll never stop being young,
I need you.
Because you feel the burning within me
and you never try to possess me,
I need you.
Because you can't remember why
we're together...
because you're crazy about me...
Because I only feel at home with you,
because you're amazing, you're the one.
Because just a sliver of happiness
is never enough for you...
because you stand by me,
when even my best friend turns his back...
because your heart
is as deep as a coalmine,
because you're amazing,
you're the one.
Here she is at last!
Emma Carter arrives at the Opera Ball...
accompanied by Argentina's
star footballer, Pablo Garcia!
This is the first time they've appeared
in public together.
Emma Carter and Pablo Garcia,
are they the new superstar dream couple?
Emma, Emma! You look fabulous!
Has Pablo Garcia, the football's
Prince of Hearts, won yours?
Excuse me, please!
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press and media,
the moment has come...
for the most romantic
announcement of the year!
It's my very great pleasure to announce...
that I have found the love of my life.
During the last few days,
I've been thinking a great deal.
About myself, my life and my future.
They say that home is where the heart is.
My heart lies here, in Austria.
Now I know where I belong,
thanks to someone
who reminded me
that you can't hide your roots.
Try as I might,
this is where I come from,
where I belong...
Here the ice in my soul melts
like a glacier in spring.
Even if people have forgotten,
I am an apple from your tree.
As your streams run down to the valleys,
irresistible and clear,
like the tears of a child.
So my blood starts to race
and at the other end of the world
I say proudly and...
if need be, all on my own:
I am from Austria
I too have an announcement to make.
Yes, it is true, Emma Carter,
she is not my girlfriend.
I have no girlfriend!
I have a boyfriend!
His name is Diego and he wait
for me at home in Buenos Aires.
I love you Diego, I love...
Is it broken?
I don't hear anything.
Tell me...
- Richard...
you're fired!
What?!
Get lost!
I'll destroy you!
You'll never make another movie again!
Oh yes I will!
With Quentin Tarantino!
Elfie, what on earth are you wearing?
I'm a debutante!
She's Anna's stand-in.
Look at that!
You dance beautifully together.
That's because I'm leading!
Darling, I've got something for you.
- What is it?
A surprise!
Our fifth star!
My congratulations to you both!
Better wait with the congratulations.
- Oh? Why?
Josi, your father and I have decided
to go through life together,
the way we used to.
How do you mean?
We're officially handing
the management over to you.
What? Really?
Oh my God! But how am I
going to manage on my own...?
You've still got us!
For the next 180 years at least!
Life's path is often narrow,
leading through deep valleys
Where the sky is out of sight.
You can't go forwards, can't go back,
Lies and deception all around,
at the end of the tunnel there's no light.
You know you're lost
and sink to your knees
when suddenly a voice within you says:
Pull yourself together,
get to your feet,
don't lie there,
that's what they're waiting for.
Get a grip,
take it one step at a time,
only those who wander find their way back.
Luck makes everything easy
until it abandons you.
Suddenly, you're the lowest of the low.
Love leaves, friendships break.
No one wants to stay with you
in your darkest hour.
All that mattered
lies broken and shattered,
no strength to live,
no strength to die.
Pull yourself together,
get to your feet,
don't lie there,
that's what they're waiting for.
Get a grip,
take it one step at a time,
only those who wander
find their way back.