I Am Here (2021) - full transcript

[door opening]

[projector running]

I will warn you that the images

you

are about to see are graphic.

Hate crimes against the

community are on the rise.

And we're going to take you

inside that synagogue

where the attackers carried out

that bloody rampage.

A Nazi flag flying above an

Australian suburban backyard.

And we have to remember that for

a Holocaust survivor,

seeing the Nazi flag is as scary

and as frightening as being

threatened with a gun.

You f*#*#*# nasty-ass Jew!

You stink!

Because over the past year,

attacks against Jewish people

have risen by more than 70%.

I don't care about your

fake Holocaust.

It's very simple

Yes

We are pure-blooded, you

are mixed mongrels.

Expel the Jews, that's what

every country has done.

That you deny the Holocaust.

Yes, I deny the Holocaust, it's

an extortion racket!

Jews will not replace us!

Jews will not replace us!

Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!

Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!

[Howard Feldman] A South African

social influencer

penned the most terrible things.

She effectively denies the

Holocaust and blamed the Jews

for burning people

alive in Germany

and many members of the

community outraged.

One such reaction caught

me by surprise.

Along comes a woman by the name

of Ella Blumenthal.

She's 98-years-old, she's a

Holocaust survivor

what amazed me about this

was instead of condemning the

person who posted it,

she reached out an arm of

friendship,

and even of love.

She offers to meet with her and

to share their stories.

She says that she is a victim of

fake news and propaganda,

as was Ella back in the

time of the war,

and Ella Blumenthal is capable

of writing a letter

that says that there is

more that unites us

than divides us.

Incredible generosity of spirit.

Would any of us- I know I

would battle with it,

would any of us be able

to reach out,

with love,

to the very person who denies

your own history?

* Yiddish folk music

[Ella Blumenthal] Mmmm, I don't

need any perfume, any Chanel No

5.

Have you got problems?

[Gabbi - friend] No.

Call me, I'll fix it.

[tempo speeds up]

* Yiddish folk music

Now you look a mensch!

He's quite good-looking,

this guy!

Remember, I will tell you

stories,

and you will tell your children.

Who does it? Old people, not me!

What do I worry about

Ferrari shmerrari.

I've got the drive

and the energy.

[scribbling sounds]

[family talking in background]

Aah! Sorale!

Whoever told you that I'm old,

look at me.

You want me to dance a little

bit,

or make a tango, or a polka?

L'chaim, l'chaim!

All my children, my

grandchildren,

I'm so happy that you all here

today.

[laughing happily]

[blowing deeply]

* jovial

[Ella] I was born in Warsaw,

in 1921.

The youngest in a family of

seven children.

I was actually a very

naughty girl.

I was full of nonsense, always.

I enjoyed swimming very much

and we used to

kayak through the white

Vistula River,

* light fluttering

and I remember that we used to

play,

* light fluttering

to sing and we used to dance.

[warplane engines

getting louder]

I was a happy teenager

-[warplanes pass overhead]

-[Ella] until the outbreak of

the war.

[dramatic music]

[soldiers boots stomping]

[Ella] When the Nazi Germans

invaded Poland,

there was a lot

of panic and fear.

[bombs exploding]

[warplanes rumble]

[Ella] All Jewish bank

accounts were frozen,

all Jewish land was

requisitioned,

we had to wear armbands on the

sleeve of the outer garment,

we had to hand over our radios,

food was rationed,

curfew was imposed,

all the Jewish schools and

synagogues were closed.

[chaotic shouting]

[baton thudding]

[melancholy music]

[waves crashing]

[seagulls screeching]

[Ella] My brother-in-law

was still there.

He said, "I beg you - don't

stay, don't wait,

it's a disaster.

We won't survive here

under the Nazis."

So, the people said,

"Argh, he's a writer, an author,

he's dreaming,

he's exaggerating, he's...

don't believe him!"

So, people, they never realised

that such a tragedy,

that such a disaster

can come to us,

that they would just kill us.

[threatening music]

[frightened murmur]

[Ella] We managed just to pack

some of our

belongings into sheets

and we were herded

into the ghetto.

[barbed wire twisting]

[sinister sounds]

[Ella] The ghetto was

overcrowded,

there were ten to

fifteen people living in a room,

there was malnutrition,

starvation,

epidemic and disease,

starving children in rags were

begging in the street.

When we got up one morning,

we found placards and

notices on the wall:

"Every grown-up and child

must come down,

and they must bring food for

three days,

and don't close the doors!

Leave the doors open!

Anybody found after this

particular hour

is going to be shot."

Obviously, people came down.

[apprehensive

murmuring in street]

People that were caught, they

were sent to labour camps

that's what they claimed,

the Nazis,

but afterwards, we realised

what was going on.

How come that they sending

old people

and children also

to labour camps?

Old people can't work, children

can't work, babies can't work,

but when we realised that some

of the people never came back,

we realised that there must

be something wrong.

[anxious shouting]

In these various raids

and roundups,

I lost

almost my entire family

23 souls

my mother, my brothers,

my sisters, their spouses

and seven nieces and nephews,

and they were sent away

to Treblinka.

* pensive

[Ella] And just by some chance,

there were three of us left

my father and my niece, Roma,

and myself.

The underground organisation

printed leaflets:

* upbeat

"Citizens, Jews, go underground

* upbeat

and hide in cellars and bunkers,

turn every building

into a fortress,

as we have no right to occupy

the surface of the earth

because we are

condemned to death."

[baby cries]

[soldiers talking]

[soldier cocks weapon]

[baby cries]

[hushing baby]

[babies cries loudly]

[baby's cry is silenced]

and this is that night my

father gave us all,

when we were sitting in that

bricked-up room,

each one of us got a little

piece of matzah,

he saved it from the

previous year

and then...

he was saying the blessings for

the matzah

and he prayed to God to save us,

like he saved us Jews from

bondage in Egypt.

[dramatic music build-up]

[baby cries]

[mother hushes baby]

[Ella] We heard the Nazis

marching in for their usual,

routinely looking for people,

searching,

but suddenly,

they were met by

Molotov cocktails.

There was shooting coming down

from rooftops and windows.

The Warsaw Ghetto

Uprising was on

and the Germans were

taken by surprise.

Believe it,

there was Nazis' blood flowing

in

the streets of the Warsaw

Ghetto.

But unfortunately, they couldn't

stand up to the mighty,

well-equipped German army

and the uprising was crushed.

They set the ghetto on fire,

building by building.

There was no option, we

had to come out.

The sight of the burning

ghetto is forever

in my eyes, in front of me.

I can never erase it

from my mind

and the smell of the burning

feathers, from the beddings,

is forever in my nostrils.

[distressing screams]

to let me be shot first,

before my father, who was

standing next to me.

[crying, weeping]

[train whistle]

[train on tracks]

[Ella] We were chased to

Umschlagplatz.

Umschlagplatz was a station

where the cattle trucks were

packed with human cargo

and returned empty, ready

for another load.

[rhythmic sound of train wheels]

[door creeks open]

[Ella] We had to stay over

because the train wasn't there.

We had to sit in an empty hall

and at night, guards came in

and pulled out young girls.

[foreboding music crescendos]

[guard smirks]

[guard grunts]

[girl shrieks]

[terrified scream]

[terrified cries fade away]

[carriage doors squeal closed]

[anxious shouting]

* hopeful

[train sounds fade away]

[Ella] We were sent to that

horrible, terrible place,

Majdanek.

[barbed wire twisting]

[sinister sounds]

[guard dogs barking]

-[guard dog biting]

-[screams in pain]

-[guards laugh mockingly]

-[girls sobs]

[Ella] Links, rechts, links,

rechts!

"Right to life, left to

gas chambers!"

I was afraid that I

wouldn't pass,

but Roma assured me she'll

follow me wherever I am sent.

When it was my turn to

present myself,

I raised my head high,

my shoulders,

-[Ella] and I was sent to right

and so was Roma,

and then it was the turn

for the men

and my father

was among them.

So, as he was marched,

he turned back to have a last

look at Roma and I,

-[grunts]

-[Ella] and he was hit over the

head

-[cries out]

-[Ella] and he bent under the

blow.

[soldiers shouting]

[Sobbing] I never, never saw my

father again, never.

[laughing happily]

* merry

[laughing fades away]

* merry

[inaudible prayer]

[guards giving instructions,

whipping]

[cries of pain]

-[guards shouting]

-[Ella] We were sent to an open

space

and one of our friends was

led to the gallows

and there was a rope put

around her neck,

[guard dogs barking]

-[body drops]

-[Ella] and then she was hanging

and just her eyes came out

and we had to watch it, and we

called Shema Yisrael,

"Help us God", but it

didn't help.

[gallows rope creaking]

The Kommando of the camp was

standing and he proudly

announced,

"This is what is going to happen

to any of you,

who will try to escape!"

As we were standing,

it was cold,

so we stood close to each

other to keep warm

and Roma, my niece, was telling

us about the Shabbos at home,

just to make us feel happier.

The smell of the food, how it

was coming from the kitchen,

the freshly baked

challahs and the roast,

and she spoke about it so

clearly

that we all felt

that we were there,

and it gave us pleasure, at

least for a minute, to think.

[gallows rope creaking]

[guard dogs barking]

* tranquil

[Ella] Can I do yours? You're

not doing it right.

Can I do it for you?

My mum, after she made

Friday morning,

before she went to business

she used to put the dough

under my duvet to rise.

[Evelyn - Ella's daughter]

Why under the duvet?

[Ella] Because...

it was winter, a lot

of cold weather

and we had to wait until

the dough rises,

so there was no other way

and then

afterwards, she plaited it.

I make the challahs.

I remember exactly how

it was at home.

[pot boiling rapidly]

[burning, bubbling]

[Ella] One day, Roma and I were

sent out of the women's camp

to the men's camp, which

was unheard of.

Some of them came running,

asking,

"Perhaps you've seen

my wife, Sorale,

she was wearing a

floral dress?"

Next one ask me, "Gitile, my

little girl, she had blue eyes""

but we couldn't answer them even

if we had the time,

they were chased out

and we were forced to

march forward.

[door slams shut]

We were pushed into a bathhouse,

but it wasn't a bath,

it was a gas chamber

* suspenseful music *

and I was holding my niece's

hand and I was whispering,

"Don't be afraid,

it won't hurt,

it won't even take long, we will

soon join our loved ones."

At this very minute, an SS man

came in and shouted,

"Ruhe!" "Quiet! You not

going to be gassed".

We couldn't believe it, we

thought

it's another trick of the

Germans.

[guards shouting orders]

[Ella] And there were some men,

they said,

"You very lucky that

you still alive.

The order that the Germans

received

was to gas 500

Jewish women, not 700."

Our transport was 700.

Because of the German

orderliness,

they told us, that we were

saved.

[guards shouting commands]

* serene

I never lost hope,

never.

Even in the darkest

times of my life.

If you ask me, if I would've

known what I'm going through,

if I'd change my beliefs,

I would have said, "No,

I'd rather go through again,

even if we are

killed and chased.

I still want to be what I am."

* joyful

* foreboding

[Ella] We were sent from

Majdanek to Auschwitz.

[barbed wire twisting]

[sinister sounds]

[electric fence buzzing]

[Ella] When we arrived,

we had showers

and then our

hair was shaven.

I couldn't recognise Roma, I was

calling for her,

because we

looked so different.

-[painful cries]

-[Ella] Then our arms were

tattooed,

-[painful cries]

-[Ella] and my number was

'48632'

and below the number

was a triangle -

this was a sign of a Jew.

When my children asked me,

what was the scar on my arm,

I said, "It was an accident".

I wouldn't talk about my

suffering and fight for survival

because the open wounds were

still bleeding in me.

[indistinct girls chatter]

[prisoners play-acting]

[laughing]

[door bangs open]

[footsteps approach]

[guard growls]

[Guard: You!]

[Ella] We had a feeling that we

were going to the gas chambers.

There was a nurse

sitting at the back.

I realised that I knew her.

It was my friend, Lena Bunker,

but she was not there as a

Jewess,

she was as a Christian,

as a Polish girl.

I just looked at her and the

strength of my eyes,

she realised what I was

trying to say,

"I know you! I know

who you are."

[laughing]

* carefree

[guard dogs barking]

[Ella] So, I was saved by my

friend, Lena Bunker.

[computer starting up]

[Trudy Van Rooy - friend] Have

you connected with a lot of

friends on Facebook?

[Ella] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

-[laughing in background]

-[Ella] I sit till late at

night.

I'm in touch with people that I

haven't seen for ages.

I love to talk to people, I

love to meet people,

I like to hear about them

because I want to

understand human nature.

I love to see people, how they

grow, how they...

what they're doing and

what their likes...

It's very important.

Make friends and show them a

smile and kindness

because it

always comes back.

-[rocks clatter on ground]

-[guards reprimanding]

[Ella] We decided, Roma and I,

that we should try our luck

and get one of the SS men to

give us work under a roof.

* ominous *

"We have been so long in

Auschwitz;

we're still working

in the open fields.

Please can you help us,

that we should be working in a

Kommando under the roof?"

[guards talk indistinctly

in background]

"Sind Sie noch da?"

And he looked, he says,

"Are you still here?"

Because people with the

numbers 48000,

there weren't many still around,

most of them were gone.

And I was offered to be

a blockälteste,

the top, looking after everybody

in the block-house

and it was a wonderful job to

be a blockälteste.

We were in charge, she

never went to...

never had to stand

to roll calls,

she had a special room.

She had a little window with a

small curtain

and there was a

bed there with a sheet,

but you had to hit the girls and

you had to pull out

from the roll calls - those

that were sick,

and they were sent to

the gas chambers.

It was a terrible job.

I said, "I'm not going to do it,

I'm not going to send

my sisters to the gas chambers""

I said, "No. Thank you, but no""

[electric fence humming]

[cold wind blows]

[Ella] Roma was begging me,

"Come, let's end this fight. We

will never survive.

Let us join our loved ones.

In any case, the only way to get

out of Auschwitz

is through the chimneys""

I had to beg her, as I was

not ready to die.

[electric hum intensifies]

* uneasy

I said, "We must carry on

and if we survive,

we will tell the world

what these murderers have

done to us."

[sobbing, crying]

I don't know how I

managed to do it.

Where did I get the strength?

Because I was hungry.

If I come to think of it today,

there was a power

that pushed me.

I knew this is the way I've got

to survive, I will survive,

and I prayed to God to give

me the strength!

[snow crunches underfoot]

[guard dogs barking]

Somebody must have got it into

Auschwitz, I don't know how.

It was so wonderful to see

the Hebrew words

* ominous

[laughing happily]

and I kept it all the way

until we survived,

and I've still got it.

It's so dear to me.

* soulful

[Ella] If you think that good

luck

or good fortune has saved me,

it's wrong.

It's somebody up there.

He's looking after me,

He's giving me

strength to fight,

pushing me to survive,

holding me up.

So, don't think it

was just luck.

[ominous music]

[Ella] Roma and I were sent from

Auschwitz to Bergen-Belsen,

in a large transport.

[barbed wire twisting]

[sinister sounds]

[Ella] People were falling like

flies from disease and hunger.

The bodies were piled up

outside each block-house.

The stench was unbearable.

When I saw this,

I realised

I mustn't land up on the heap of

these

corpses in Bergen-Belsen...

and the will of survival was

so strong in me!

I said "No, I must carry on.

I'll have to survive

with God's help."

[match striking]

* reflective

[Ella] People come to me,

they want blessings,

they said that it

will help if I,

because I went through it, I

had the number and

I've got some sort of power.

I hope so.

[doorbell chimes]

Hello...

[Jordy - friend] Let me

help you down.

[Gabbi - friend] Ella! So happy

to have you in our home!

-[Naomi] Lovely,

nice to see you.

Nothing brings people

together like good food.

-[laughing]

Did you get it from the Torah?

I'm sorry, I'm not

going to use it.

[all laughing]

[Naomi] She'll put it

in her pocket!

Watch it all, I'm not doing it

behind your eyes.

I want you to see it.

[all laughing]

It's worthwhile doing this.

[knife cuts into table]

[Ella] I was chosen to work in

one of the kitchens

and I was trying to organise

pieces of vegetable,

sometimes even there

was meat there,

* menacing

[Ella] but one day,

-[Ella] I hid something under

my underwear

and there was a Russian prisoner

working in the kitchen

and he saw that the

Oberster Führer,

in his office,

noticed me doing it.

[wheelbarrow wheels squeaking]

He said, "Throw it in, quickly""

[gasps]

[guard gives instruction]

and I was searched, but they

couldn't find it.

[guard reacts angrily]

[guard orders her out]

[gasping]

Who left this lovely biscuit?

[laughter]

No food must be wasted!

The plate must be clear,

did you hear?

-[Menachem] Yes.

Think! I was hungry.

I was dying for a crumb.

It's not a story, it's true.

[footsteps approaching]

There were things that you

looked at differently

and you thought about

and you had a different

perspective on life.

You like to not waste, you like

to save for tomorrow.

It's probably subconscious but

do you, did you...

[Ella] You want to say "stingy"?

Call a spade a spade.

[Jade - granddaughter]

It's a big procedure.

Because I am going to

use one tea bag.

I'm not going to throw away.

Paul says, "My mother-in-law

makes five cups,

five cups of tea with

one tea bag."

He tells everybody in Shull!

Correct.

[Jade - granddaughter]

Your scarf.

Oh!

[sobbing]

[Ella] When I came out, the

Russian said to me,

"If we survive the war, you are

coming with me to Russia!"

I knew he saved my life, I

had to play along.

I said, "Alright,"

and when we were liberated,

he came to me.

I said, "No, I'll come,

I'll follow you."

Obviously, I never did.

[laughing]

[Jordy - friend]

Why didn't you go?

[Ella] To Russia?

First of all, I had Roma with

me,

whom I looked after

right through the war.

I said, "I will come, you go.

I'll follow you."

[Evelyn] You said that a few

times to a few men, didn't you?

You promised a few men that you

would follow them.

Ah yes, there was somebody else,

in Paris.

So, it was your modus operandi.

Oh, he was in love with me!

You were always going to

follow people,

but you had no intention...

He says, "no!"

[Evelyn] Not for you.

No, no.

[paper flutters to ground]

[Ella] We had a sign that

something is happening,

that maybe we going to be freed,

because in the watchtowers,

we saw some of them

wearing white bands

and the others were

completely empty even,

and I also saw them running,

pushing lots of papers

and documents.

I realise now they must have

been taking it to be burnt.

[guards arguing in background]

* woeful

[gasping while running]

[prisoners murmuring]

[tank engines rumbling]

[Ella] I couldn't... imagine

that it was true,

but it was.

We were free!

[music crescendos]

[sobbing with joy]

[Ella] We were soon

transferred from our camp

to the camp where the SS

men used to live,

which had a bed and a blanket,

under the blanket was a sheet

and there was a pillow,

but believe it,

what we found

was a tap with water,

with a small sink,

running water.

Unbelievable!

* peaceful

I remember the first time

that we had a bath,

Roma and I,

and we both shared the bath.

This was something wonderful,

to be in a bath.

We were lying for hours,

like this.

This was our first enjoyment,

at the bath.

I had to help her to get through

and she got through with me.

So, that's all I've got from

my whole family.

From the 24 people, I've got my

niece Roma who's alive.

When she's not well, I feel it;

I'm also not well and the same,

she feels when I'm not well.

We are just like one person

because it's unbelievable what

we went through together.

[cell phone rings]

[cell phone is answered]

Hi, I want to see your mouth.

Now it's much better.

Thank you, now it's clear.

How's it going?

-[Roma] Very good.

-[Ella] Everything all right?

It's such nice weather,

wonderful, I am very happy.

Rami is also next to me.

Oh, I'm so glad, I'm

happy to hear.

Ella, how are you?

Everything is fine,

there's no problems.

Very good. Happy Birthday! I

wish you a long and good life.

I am very thankful to you, for

you do for me,

all the time, all the time.

[Roma] You helped me

to continue to live.

Happy Birthday, mamaleh.

Thank you, thank you so much.

I'm so grateful for when we

talk to each other.

Alright, I'll say goodbye now,

for now.

My tea's getting cold

and you know

I don't like cold tea.

[Roma] I will speak to you soon.

Be well.

[Roma] I love you, mamaleh.

Love.

Bye-bye. God bless. Look

after yourself also.

[Roma] God bless you.

Bye.

[Roma] Bye-bye.

[call ended]

[train noise]

[Ella] I travelled to Poland.

I was just thinking,

perhaps somebody survived

from my family.

I walked on the ruins of

the Warsaw Ghetto.

I went back to the place

where we lived.

* sorrowful

[echoing memories of laughter]

[whimpers sadly]

[Ella] Why was I

chosen to survive?

Why?

[speaking with great sadness]

Everybody around me is gone.

[speaking with great sadness]

Why it was me that stayed here?

* heartening

[deep sigh]

* uplifting

[Ella] We had permission to

travel from Germany to Paris

[French chatter]

and there were people

living normal lives

people were shopping, children

were around, there was a world!

A tailor made two beautiful

suits for us

and they were the first garments

that were our own.

We enjoyed wearing these suits

every day, almost,

and we treasured it, really.

[Ella] I travelled to

Palestine by boat.

[fireworks exploding]

[Ella] At the end of the year,

I met a South African man,

Isaac Blumenthal.

* romantic music

-[Isaac laughing]

[car engine stops]

[door opens]

He asked, "May I see

you tomorrow?"

I said, "Alright, be my guest""

All the pictures that

we've seen of you,

you know, you were a young,

very pretty girl.

What do you think, your

father didn't see?

[background laughter]

He saw very well.

He was wearing glasses, but...

he saw me properly, don't worry.

* playful

[Ella] I had to get

permission from Roma.

I asked her, "Can we part?

We'll have to part because I'm

going to a country in Africa."

[camera motor whirs]

I got married after knowing

him only for 13 days.

Normally, every bride will say

it's the happiest

time in her life.

I didn't know what was

happening, it was like a dream!

I was going into the unknown,

but I knew that I was having

somebody next to me

who loved me, who understood me,

who cared about me.

[Ella] Soon after my arrival

in Johannesburg,

the family of my husband

advised me that I should

remove my number,

that I should forget about my

struggles, about my terrible

life.

* pensive

My life was happy

with my husband,

but I could not mix with people.

I had no family.

It was all people around me who

didn't understand me,

who didn't know me, who didn't

realise what I went through.

So, I tried to never

talk about it.

But only when I was

building my own family

and my children were arriving,

I felt that this is what I am

able to do

to look after my

husband, my children.

[Norman] There's the so-called

second generation of survivors,

we've always felt that we've

been overprotected,

been difficult, we've

always been different

and our relationships

with people,

with family, wives, has always

been different

and had that effect.

There was always an undercurrent

of something going on,

but as we got older,

maybe in the teenage years,

she just started

telling information.

Me, being the youngest, I picked

it up along the way.

There was certainly something

different in all of us.

[Alvin] In spite of you

bottling it up internally,

I remember vividly,

you would just scream in the

middle of the night,

and then again and again,

and then it was quiet, and then

you would scream

and in spite of you not

talking about it during the day.

Because I was,

I was worried that the Nazis are

taking my children from me.

[Evelyn] I remember that.

[Alvin] I always imagined,

50 years ago,

when she used to tell me

the cut on her arm was due a car

smashed into a shopfront

and the glass broke and it

cut her arm open,

and to this day,

I remember imagining

as a kid, a car mounting

the pavement,

driving into the

shopfront and this

sharp glass cutting and

tearing her arm open.

She so impregnated that

story in my mind,

that I remember it to this day.

* solemn

[Ella] We bought a departmental

store in Brakpan, Johannesburg

and we modernised it,

and it was a very known and

successful business.

* wistful

[Ella] We moved to Cape Town

because my husband was ill,

and it only took a few months

and he passed away.

We prayed, we tried to keep him

alive, but nothing worked.

He was called,

he was gone.

* reminiscent

So, we only live with

memories now.

Roma lives, now, in Manhattan,

New York.

She has about 18 grandchildren

and over 30 great-grandchildren.

They are all very religious and

they've got big families.

Some years ago,

I went to visit Poland.

I remembered every spot

in Auschwitz.

It was like a dream.

I was alive

and I had children and a

grandchild

with me, standing there.

It was just a miracle.

I went to Treblinka where my

family was sent away,

but there was nothing left,

only stones.

[Ella] The hatred is not

only for Jews.

There's wars, different tribes,

different beliefs.

The hatred, that's

what's causing

all the problems in the world.

So, we must love

people around us,

not find fault, whether colour,

or skin, or different beliefs.

Love everybody, be kind

to everybody.

We should not forget what

has happened to us

and we must be aware

that things,

God forbid,

could happen again.

[family singing and clapping]

-[speaking with intense emotion]

-[Ella] I was with one foot

-[speaking with intense emotion]

-[Ella] already over there.

I thought it's the end,

but I am here,

I'm standing here among all of

you, can you believe it?

Is it true? Confirm it.

Tell me, tell me that it's me.

I think, still, I'm dreaming.

"No, no, it's me", I

must tell myself.

I don't like to be emotional,

I don't want to,

I want to be happy and grateful,

but what I left behind,

it's not here.

Every person has a

grave to go to,

I have none,

not even ashes.

There's nothing I can do.

At least I go to my

husband's grave.

I am there and I pray to God

for, every day, to leave me

among all of you.

I've lost 23 dear souls.

Can you imagine?

It's not just words, it's true.

Just wiped away.

I've got a lovely family

that I try to think

it's a substitute,

it's not a substitute,

but they are next to me,

and I've got somebody that

I love truly

and always next to me

and they can hear me when I

cry and when I laugh.

Thank you.

[laughter and joy]

* calming

[Ella] It hasn't been easy,

but I feel now that

it's off my heart.

It's a piece out of me,

part of my life, is

now with you,

so don't forget it.

* purposeful

[Ella] Be happy.

Enjoy every day and see the

world around you,

that everybody smiles, there

should be goodness.

Take life and make

the best of it!

Every day, as I get up,

my curtains are always open.

I like to see the day,

the dawn coming in.

I'm ready, every morning,

to thank God

that He gave me

another day of life.

* sombre