Hush Up Sweet Charlotte (2015) - full transcript

Old Charlotte Holler is about to lose everything, especially her mind.


I'd sooner it be one of my
field boys than you!

Like Willis. Dark, piercing

brown eyes, with just a hint of

Dark, bulging, glistening

nice firm buttocks


Sit down, boy.

My own sweet darling daughter
and Jewel Mayhem's

husband?! Makes me sick to my
stomach to think of the two of

co-mingling. You're just a
foul, money-hungry little gigolo

aren't you? That is a great
word, isn't it?

Gigolo? I believe that it's

My dad used to sit on that

buck naked drinking moonshine,
let this whole place fall apart
around him.

I worked my fingers to the bone
to bring this place back

to the successful plantation
you see before you, and I am

not, I say, gonna let some
little adulterer come and steal
it from me!

Charlotte's all I have. I'm
going to protect her from the

likes of you.
- Your daughter is not a little
girl anymore, and there's going

be lots of other men.
- and I'm gonna be there with a
shotgun if I have to, and

shoot every god-dang one of
them! What was your plan boy?

She was going to meet me out at
the shed. Her bag is packed.

Then over to the Dramata Inn in
Baton Rouge. They got a real

Oh shut your filthy mouth boy!
So in this plan,

what were you going to tell your little
- She was giving me a divorce.

Well that's not going to
happen. You see,

Jewel was here last night.
- Last night?

- Last night.
- Right here?
- Right here?

Right here?
- Right here in that chair.
- This chair?
- That chair.

- Last night?
- Last night.
- Right here.

Now when you came in on the
verandah there was

a couple of chairs. Not those.

You go in the foyer, and just
before the music room we've got a whole

Yes that chair, you jackass!

Sat there crying her little
eyes out.

Told her she wouldn't worry
about a thing. Now, you're going to come

night with Jewel, your wife.

But you're going to meet
Charlotte in the shed. What you're going

is this:


Big daddy sure knows how to
throw a party!

I just love all the food!


- I heard that see is

having a scandalous affair!
- Have you seen Charlotte?
- Can't you see I am

- Oh, I'm sorry. Hello

- Hello Drew.
- Hello. Don't you

look real pretty tonight.
- I think she went out back with

John Mayhem. Yeah, I bet
they're doing something scandalous. Some

even speak it out loud.
- Jewel Mayhem

Like s-e-x.

Why do you always have to have such a po

- I don't, you do.
- I don't, you do.

Would you please stop that?
- Would you please stop that? Alright.

I go find her.

You're the pretty sister.

So all I have to do is grow
some big boobies and you'll be

on my hip?



* Paint the town, wear
something fancy *

* get low down and gallivanting

* you will lose that crown
before you know it! Roll off the bed *

* you can sleep when you're dead
- I'm sorry, Charlotte.

I really am. Please don't cry.

Someone will love you someday.

Maybe. And if not,

you can always look forward to
growing old here, by yourself.

Turning into some crazy old

Probably just you and Velma,
all alone.

Old, old maids.

All wrinkly.

I got you that real nice music
box so you can remember me.

I could kill you!


* Drink that up, it's
outrageous, *

* live in sin, it's contagious,
let yourself give in *

* it's advantageous! Stay home
and scowl or go out *

* on the prowl, come on, let
yourself howl *

* and go crazy, crazy, crazy

* crazy, crazy, crazy, go
crazy! *




Charlotte? Is that you?





No! No!





* [ominous music]



But what if I get caught?
- Then you tell her you're

John Mayhem and you've come
back to take your music box. Now get!



[cat meowing, hissing]


[music box playing]




* Hush up, sweet Charlotte

* Charlotte, don't you

* shine. You heard I was

* leaving you, but darling,
that's *

* a lie. You know I'll

* always love you.

* Until the day I die

* Hush up sweet Charlotte.

* That's a long, long time


[birds chirping]

Damn you! Damn you


Grab yourself a rifle, we're
going to have ourselves a shooting party

- Damn you!

Damn you all!
- Why in tarnation

does she say "you all"? We know

who's out there.

[rifle shots]

[rifle shots]

[more shots]

Are you done playing around up there?
- Damn you

Damn you all! Velma,

are we our of bullets?
- We are fresh out, Miss Charlotte.
- Lookie here, Miss Charlotte,

This house is coming down no
matter what. We got the papers

signed on the dotted line and there is n
- And where you are,

I could spit in your eye with
no strain at all!

I'm sick and tired of this
little turkey shoot we've been playing t

I'm gonna have to head on
downtown and get the sheriff and he's go

Nobody's gonna tear down my
house to build a little bridge

railroad or highfalutin
airport, so you can just

clear off my property once and
for all!

Damn you! Damn you all!
- Ooh, Miss Charlotte. One of the most a

I have ever dealt with in all
of my born days!

I used to think that stuff
about you cutting off your lover's head

Now I'm beginning to think



If that Sheriff Luke comes out
here, he'll be

real sorry!
- Oh hush-up Charlotte! Now, how does

a nice chicken fried steak

With some of your homemade biscuits and

some of them.
- And some ham, bacon, and

sausage on the side? Oh, and
some of your, your buttermilk pancakes

with your maple syrup? And some
of those beignets you make.

The best damn beignets in the county.
- Anything else?

Go easy on the butter, I'm
trying to watch my girlish figure.

That's a good idea.


Thank you so much.

Meet Miss Charlotte after waiting for so

why would you be coming all the
way from London England to investigate a

like this? The only journalists
coming around these parts is so they can

like this.
- It's like this, Sheriff. I've never be

that I haven't solved.
- Sheriff, you've gotta come out to the

talk some sense into that
lunatic Miss Charlotte. I almost got kil

She and that Velma were shooting at me l
- Do you mind if I tag along?

I won't say a word, I'll just
observe, I'll be quiet as a churchmouse.

I don't see any harm in that as
long as you just stay in the car and obs

Mr. Wills.
- I'm writing a cookbook about the seven

delicacies in these here parts.
- Oh, nice to meet you.

Is there a Mrs. Stan that I
might get some recipes from?

No, I'm not married.
- Not married? A big handsome, strapping

like you?
- No, I guess just

never met the right girl.
- What kind of girl?

Sheriff, I'd like to get with
that Jewel Mayhem, I'm sure she's got a

You know Miss Jewel?
- Yes, I've done a thorough investigatio

in these here parts.
- Mr. Wills, your accent is very

interesting. What part of
England are you from?

Oh, the southern part.



He's here!
- Hey, Miss Velma.

How are you doing this fine morning?
- Well, I'd be just fine if

some people would stop meddling
in other people's business.

She don't want to see you anyhow.
- Well that's too bad, I guess I'm just

to come on in and wait until
she feels like seeing me so we can discu

of shooting at Stan. How are
you doing this fine morning?

May I say you're looking mighty pretty.
- Get out Sheriff Luke!

Did you say pretty? Am I
looking pretty today?

I would be just fine is
everybody weren't trying to throw me off

and making such a mess and a
big racket out there

and practically digging up Big Daddy's g
- Charlotte, you know

you've had plenty of time to
pack up and leave before this all starte

This house is coming down and there ain'

This is so unfair. Nobody asked
me to sign anything and

suddenly it's become some sort
of public decree.

I've told you this time and
time again Miss Charlotte, papers were s

That is not true, and if anyone
did it was that Jewel Mayhem,

She's always trying something out to get

about poor Miss Jewel? She's
old and frail and practically senile, co

of anything these days, she's quite ill.

When my cousin MIldred comes,

fix everything.
- Cousin Mildred?

The pretty one?
- Yeah, the pretty one.

She's going to march right down
to that courthouse and tell them where t

shove that decree. Now, get out!

Now why did you tell him she
was coming?

You haven't heard hide nor tail
from here since you sent her away

I know she's coming. I can feel

in my bones.

Telegram for Miss Charlotte!

Dear Charlotte, stop.

On my way to help immediately,
stop. We'll take this

to the highest court in the
land, stop. Love, Mildred stop.

You see? I told you she was
coming to

fix everything.

Such beautiful weather we're
having isn't it?

It's gorgeous. It's quite
picturesque really.

It reminds me a bit of a
wedding I went to.

The bride wore red

Oh, oh my, what an odd

Look, it's my sister standing
by the side of the road. Driver,

please pull over.


- Hello, dear.
- What are you doing here?

Well when I heard you were
coming out here to help poor Cousin Char

two heads would be better than one.
- Oh, marvelous.
- Would you mind helping

me put my bag in the trunk,
it's awfully heavy. Oh, not you, sir. Sh

the exercise.
- Drive on.

But what happened to the other lady?
- She forgot some- she decided not to co

One of those excuses will do. Drive on.
- But-

I said, drive on.
- Okay, lady.

[bell rings]

Well, come on in

Drew. What are you doing here?

I swear, all the comers and
goers that are

happening today.
- Well I stopped by to see if you need a

new something to calm your nerves?
- That's very kind of you Drew, but

my cousin Mildred is coming and
she's going to take care of

everything. I won't have to
leave the house. We can give

parties here again. Wouldn't
that be fun!

Well, here we are.

Isn't this an amazing piece of history?
- History?

Yes. I just hate this place, it gives me
- Too bad it's

going to be torn down next week.
- Oh what a pity. What a pity I'm going

hillbilly for every cent she's got.
- Did you say something?
- I said I need to pee.

So hurry it up.


I'm gonna go powder my nose.

I will too.
- Well, I guess

I gotta go out and get her bags.


Velma Smothers.

You look so... well.

You are not Mildred.
- Velma, why would you say such

a thing. Of course,
- Well, your boobs are so much bigger.

I mean, Mildred's boobs were big, but yo
- Now, Velma, we haven't seen each other

in many years. The years have
changed us. Some for good and some for-


-Dred! Drew, what a surprise.

Why yes. Mildred.

I just can't believe it, you

fantastic. It's been so long.

In a recent letter I sent you a
photo, what did you expect?

They look so much better in

Did you have any trouble with you know w
- Oh, it's so wonderful to be back here.

It-way as-way easy-way.


- Yes, I will take care of that one myse

Who does your hair? I need to
find out because I want to have it done

Well I just do it myself.

I wash it in lye soap that I
make from bacon

fat. That's the secret.
- So that's why you smell like

pork. Well I guess it's time,
I'd best go up and

see dear cousin.
- That's the last of it, I thank you ver

and I'll be on my way, ma'am.
- I sure hope that that fine

lady -
- Oh wonderful, wonderful, well don't di

to pick up.
- Thank you for your generosity.

No, no, there are no buts here
at the plantation, just hurry along. I s

along! As in have a wonderful
day. Life.


Well don't think I'm bringing
in all them bags.

Specially not that big one!
- Well don't you worry your little hands

my dear Velma. Drew will bring
them into the house and to the

large walk in closet at the end
of the hallway by the

second bathroom.

I should be able to auction all
these old pieces for a very

good price.
- I don't see how you're gonna convince

You just leave that to me Drew.
I'm the mastermind in this.

You're the Rhoda. I'm the Mary.
I'll take care

of her.
- You'll take care of her?

Now what did you mean by that

It's just that poor Charlotte
has lived here for so long, and I will h

care of her with the move and

Them bags are not going to move

Yes, of course.
- I've got the guest room all ready for

Second door on the right.

Thank you Velma. And once
again, what a pleasure to

see you. You look ravishing.

Well, I guess you're

gonna be wanting to stay for
supper, especially now

that Miss Mildred is here. I'm

doing anything fancy, so don't
'spect much. I don't serve

nothing, I am out of here
before dark. This place

gives me the willies after

Just fine, Velma, just fine.

I am so hungry for your
homestyle cooking, but

I just have to get the bag, put
it in the back of the closet like

Mil-dred suggested.


Something sure smells


Charlotte. It's me.

- No dear, it's Mildred.

I got your letter asking me to

But you've gotten so much

Well, it's been a very long
time. A lot can happen to a girl when sh

off to New York City, gets
caught up in a wild and carefree lifesty

and smoking and drinking until all hours

I met the right surgeon.
- You have come to help me?

- What is it?

Oh, the baby Jane doll.
Remember how we would play with her

for hours? How much you loved

I never could understand why
your sister was so afraid of her, I mean

afraid of such an angelic face.
- Come here little girl!


Not me.
- Do you

do you remember Preston? The
boy I dated who

went off to war and came back
with a Yankee wife?

I thought his name was Ashley.
- No. Preston.

Do you remember the time you
went to the big ball and wore that red d

Oh, and everyone was appalled
and made fun of you, saying, 'lady of th

Hussy, whore.

And Big Daddy was so upset.
That's when I met John Mayhem and

and, oh Mildred.

You have come to help me?
- Yes Charlotte. I'm come to help with

everything. Just everything.
You won't have to worry about

a thing. Not a single thing,
I'll take care of everything.

Really, I will. You won't even

what hit you.


This was Big Daddy's favorite

in the entire house. He'd just

sit in here and eat and drink
and eat and drink

and eat and drink and eat and
drink and

eat and drink. And then he'd
have a big old cigar.

He'd be in here for days and
days sometimes.

Carrying on, entertaining
different business associates.

Sometimes he'd call me and have
me lift up my dress

and show my belly button and
we'd giggle.

Mildred, you can go into town
first thing tomorrow morning and walk st

them what's what.
- Now Charlotte, you're going to have to

I don't think Mildred or you can do anyt
- Charlotte, Drew

is right. You have to leave the

But that's just, that's just crazy talk!
- Tomorrow

at breakfast, we sit down and
discuss all this and come up with a plan

A plan? We don't need to make
any plans.

What do you think I asked you
here for?

Company? Do you think I'd ask

you back here just to - just to
make a plan?

You owe me, missy.

Remember when Big Daddy took
you and your sister downtown? Bought you

whole new wardrobes?
- Yes, I remember.

Down to a sleazy Baton Rouge-
- It wasn't good enough for you?

Big daddy didn't give you
enough? Well maybe that's what you came

swindle me out of all of this -
- Charlotte, what's gotten into you? You

come here to come and help.

And you continue like this?
What is dragging up the past

going to do for you?
- It's all right Drew. Charlotte's not h

She's been carrying such a
large burden for many years and now with

new threat of the demolition of
this beautiful old house

we all just need to stay calm
and come up with

a plan.
We all know exactly she came back here t

house. It was you who went
sneaking off

to Jewel and told her about her
husband and me in the

first place!
- You seem to be forgetting

that was my sister, Melanie.
- Oh that's right.

I'm sorry. You're the nice one.
The pretty one.

But you still didn't know about
that, did you Drew? Or did you?

I know the two of you were
having a sordid little affair,

but Drew dumped you because you
weren't in line to get any of Big Daddy'

money. You know something Melanie?
- Mildred.

You're just a vile, conniving,
sour little


Would you like me to get that
cousin dear?

I'll get it. It's still my


Did you take care of Mildred?

Oh yes. I took care of her.


- Miss Charlotte?
- Yes?

Miss Charlotte Holler? The Miss Charlott
- Yes.

I'm a reporter with the
international newspaper, The Daily Nosey

you if I asked you a few
questions? Did you kill

your lover?
- Please get off my property!


What are you two doing?

Conniving behind my back?
- Oh, Charlotte.
- Charlotte

don't be silly. I think you've
been locked up here with

only Velma and myself as your
only connection to the world.

Too long. I mean, it has
altered your perception

of reality. Not everyone is out
to get you.

Yes, Charlotte. I am here for
one reason. I only want

what's best for me. For you.

Like the time I told Big Daddy
that his darling little girl

was having a dirty little
affair with someone who could only end

up badly. I- we- only

wanted what was best for you
then, too. How could we have known

it would end up in a
horrifically, bloody, disgusting

murder that would haunt you and this hou

How could we have known that?
- Absolutely, how would we know that.

But... but you said it was

Melanie who did it, not you.
- Well, I meant my sister

She actually confided in me,
although I must

admit, I strongly agreed with
her actions. In fact, I suggested it.

We all knew he was in it for no
good reasons.

We didn't want you to get hurt.


no you couldn't have known that.




John? John?

Everytime I come out here to
visit, she's a little worse.

She seems to lose her grip on
reality more and more

She goes up there in that room,
puts on that dress, the same dress

she wore that night, and she
waits for him.

Or she goes to the music room
and plays that song.

The music box that John gave
her over and over,

again and again.
- We have no choice but to follow the pl

Come on, Drew. Don't get

on me now. Just think about the

John. John.
- See? She is insane.

We're actually doing a good
deed. She needs to be taken care of by s

Other than that pork-smelling
hick! How much more would it

take? You know, so that there
isn't any doubt?

I don't think it would take

Push her over the edge

Really? You really think so?
- Charlotte was wrong.

I mean, I never left you
because of what

well, my mother didn't -
- Drew! You know I don't

hold on to things. Let bygones
be bygones and

never bring it up again. Don't
even think about it. Not even a little b

See, I've completely forgotten
about it, I've moved on with my life, ok

Do you want me to stay here in
this house with you?

It's a big old scary house.

I'll be fine. I'm not a little
girl anymore.

No, you're not.

Well, Drew, are you forgetting

You said you were

going to bring me something for
my protection.

The gun, you im-patient


So I guess you can see yourself
out, Drew. Good night.

I said, good night.

Good night, Meli.

See you later.



John. [crying]


My dress!

Somebody slashed my dress!

[child laughing]

Why do you think that she was

sent off the London if she
wasn't guilty? It's the best way to take

To stay here and deny the

proud of it?
- That's the thing Mr. Wills. From what

poor old Miss Charlotte
couldn't remember anything that happened

her daddy sent her over there
to prevent her from bein charged with

- But how, she was the leading suspect.
- Big daddy

was in bed with the mayor, the
governor, anyone of any power

here in this here parts. He
could do anything he wanted.

Do you think she could've done

No, I don't. Do you?
- I agree.

- Please. Five.


two, three, four,


All right? It's delightful, I'm
not typically a coffee drinker, I'm more

a tea drinker being from London
and all.

So, I hope you don't mind my
asking Sheriff, how did you become

the local law and a newspaper

I guess it's just in my blood.
My mama

loved reading the newspaper,
and my daddy, he loved listening

to little orphan Annie on the

So I guess that's as good as
reason as any.

I was the understand that her
cousin Mildred is coming to help?

That's what I've been told, but
I don't know.

Now we just have to do one more
thing and then we can be done with all o

It was such a nice visit, but

did we just do?
- Miss Jewel, we have to go file those p

plantation in my name. You promised, rem

Now we just have to do one more
thing and we can be done with all this.

Excuse me Sheriff, but I'm a
bit confused.

If that's Mildred, she's all
grown up now.

The other lady out there in the
black dress, that's Jewel Mayhem.

Interesting. As you may already
know, Mildred has a sister Melanie,

they were identical twins,
except for a few

- What things?

What I want to do is

go back home, have some tea,
and your special

- Miss Melanie?

But you're quite mistaken, I'm Mildred.
- Miss MIldred,

my deepest apologies.
- It's always so difficult to

tell you two apart, except for-


Jewel. Jewel Mayhem.

How good it is to see you after
all these years.

Can't you even give me the time
of day?

I haven't the time in my last
dying days

to give anyone the time of day.
Especially the likes of you.

Well you must be confusing me
with my sister Melanie.

Jewel, she had told me that you
two had had some sort of spat.

You are not Mildred. I love

I can tell by every fiber in my
body that you are that

thieving, disgusting vile pig

Please not here. Not on the
public street.

I'll do whatever I wish! Now
get out of my way

you stinky harlot bitch! Murder

starts in the heart. Its first

weapon is a vicious, vile,
disgusting, really gross,

not nice, unalluring,

loose tongue.
- Now, Miss Mayhem,

let's go and get you back home
where we can get you that tea

and a nice scone.
- I am not unalluring.

I aways did say she was unalluring.
- Oh, you never say that.

I may not have said it, but I thought it
- Will you two hush up?

Let's go over there and say
hello and find out what she's up to.

That must've hit the nail right
on the head.

Do stop this, Charlotte!
- And you forgot this!

And that!
- Now, who do you think you

is going to clean this mess all
up? Just because you saw

a bit of literature about you
and that John Mayhem.

Now I thought this was all kind
of funny, but you've just

lost all your sense of humor, I swear!pp

I thought this was a real nice
picture of Miss Charlotte.

Yes, I see what you mean. Where did you
- I bought it.

Down at the Piggly Wiggly. I
thought it was a real nice

likeness of Miss Charlotte,
just like I said, and I thought it was g

brighten up her day, what with
all the goings on and all.

Well you obviously were very
mistaken, even though I hate to admit it

it's a lovely picture of her.

Oh, by the way Velma, I've
hired your old friends

Bertie, Agnes, and Trudy to
pack up Charlotte's belongings

They'll be here any moment, so
please, have them start in the dining ro

With the silver. Someone will
be by tomorrow

to pick up the boxes and put
them into safekeeping.

Safekeeping, huh?

I bet it's for safekeeping.
- Worst picture of me on the cover!

Charlotte, you know that Velma
has always been someone with special

needs. I'm sure she was just
trying to be amusing.

But look at it. It- it looks
terrible. I don't look like that. They m

done something to the picture.
I bet Jewel Mayhem is behind all this.

She hates me. All she wants to
do is try to make my life miserable.

Don't be ridiculous. You're
beginning to sound a bit mad. Batty.

Irrational, wacky, crazy,
delusional, delirious, psychotic, banana

and a bit mental.

Now, Charlotte, I just saw
Jewel Mayhem at City Hall

downtown. Crazy as a loon and
practically at death's door.

She called me unalluring. Crazy.

Me. Unalluring.
- I'm glad Jewel

Mayhem is ill. She deserves to
be ill. She

deserves to die! I've got
evidence. Lots of it.

Now do you think I'm crazy? I

Jewel Mayhem is behind this, I
have all of these hidden all over the ho

Bertie, Agnes, and Trudy are

I told them to start on silver,
like you said.

Thank you Velma.
- What are Bertie, Agnes and Trudy doing

And what about the siler?
- Oh Charlotte,

I'm so worried about you in
this terrible stress.

Now later, we will sit down and
discuss everything and talk

about the plan. Oh, and by the
way dear,

I picked up something today for
your nerves.

But what happened today at City Hall?
- We'll talk about that later Charlotte,

now, drink up, okay?

Just one.

Now that's a good girl. Well,
I'm going to go downstairs

and make sure they're doing
everything correctly.



What are those women doing in
my house?

Damn you! Damn you all!

And don't come back!

Please, do sit down. I'm sure
you're quite pleased

that I gave you permission for an audien
- Oh yes, I'm very

happy. Just to be clear, I've
been wanting to sit down with

you for many, many, many years.
- Really?

Well I'm not quite sure why.

do we have any of those nice
blueberry scones left?

Yes, Miss Mayhem. We've got two
left. Why not go get them?

Oh Montgomery.
- Yes, Miss Mayhem?

Look what I made you.

Yes. Very nice.

Very nice.

Some goober peas, Mr. Wills?

Now, where were we? Yes.

I need something from you.
- Oh! Well now I'm intrigued.

How can I help?
- This town is incredibly miniscule.

I'm sure by now everybody's
talking about

my repartee with Melanie today.
- Melanie? I thought it was Mildred.

Yes. So she claims. Melanie,

I don't care who she says she

You see Mr. Wills, I know that
I do not have much time left in this

world. I'm sick. Fragile.

Some say I'm losing my grip on

Oh, you're fine.

I'm not wearing any panties!

I was going to be a dancer.

I'm slender, beautiful. But John

Mayhem proposed, and I said yes.

Oh, I'd loved him ever since we
were little together

and we played doctor.

With popsicle sticks.
- With popsicle sticks.
- Sticky ones.

He said he would see to it that

never ever got any of our
family money. So John

wanted Charlotte for just one
thing. He told me

when he'd swindled Charlotte
out of all her money, he'd come back to

I want you

to keep something for me. To
give to the Sheriff

after I've passed. You see,

everyone's out to get me.
- Out to get you?

This town is filled with dark,
dirty little secrets.

Dirty little secrets.
- Repeat after me! I promise.
- I promise

Never to open the envelope that
Jewel Mayhem gave me

Never to open the envelope that Jewel Ma
- Even if I'm stripped naked

and if my testicles are beaten
with tiny little bats!

Where did they find these tiny little ba
- Just say it.

All right, even if they strip
me naked and beat my testicles with tiny

Until I'm dead and gone.
- Until you're dead and gone!

Well, now. Wasn't that good fun?

Now, how about some of my

nice buggrass tea?





Charlotte, come to bed.

Don't turn on the light.

It's not real when it's light.
It's only

real when it's dark.

Now come to bed.



He's dead! He's dead! He's dead!

He's dead, he's dead!

Well I think she's plum crazy.
- Well, maybe she is,

maybe she ain't.
- That's what I always say.

Well, which isn't?
- I don't know.

Well I do know. We should do
this real slow, because

we get paid by the hour.



Jesus Christ

Miss Charlotte?

Miss Charlotte, please, can I
talk with you? I've come such a long way

meet with you.
- Where are you from?
- I'm from England.

Oh really? How nice for you.
- Yes, I was there to greet you

when you came to London so many years ag

journalists who stood in line to have a

interviews. Big daddy forbid it.
- I know.

Let me introduce myself. I'm
Mr. Wills.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
startle you, but I just wanted

to be with you for such a long time.
- You really were there?

Oh yes indeed.
- Then what was I wearing.
- Let me think.

Hot pink dress and a big green hat?
- No.
- A snakeskin coat

with matching t-straps?
- No.
- A little black dress, a monkey

fur collar?
- No. It was a pale blue

dress with matching bag and shoes.
- Oh yes, of course.

How could I forget? And you
were just lovely.

Then you really were there.
- Of course.

Well, well what can I

do for you now?

I've something to confess. I'm
your number one fan.

You're my favorite living

Have you

ever ever solved me?
- No.

Then you wouldn't be a mystery
anymore, now would you?

No I wouldn't.
- Then what would I do myself?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I think I've offended you with all this

I never talk to people about

I know. I'm so glad you allowed
me to talk with you

about you-know-what.
- Mr. Wills, do you

think I'm a certifiable
demented lunatic unbalanced

- Well,

Miss Charlotte, that is the big
question. Now, I've entertained many the

that you've taken his
taxidermic head and kept it under the be

or you exhumed Big Daddy's body
and put Mr. Mayhem in his place

or you've kept him under the
floorboards and brought him out to celeb

and re-enacted that night over
and over again, but


you're the only one that knows
the real truth.

I didn't do it. I know I didn't
do it.

But just lately,

at night, things have gotten so

in my head, it's made me
question everything and everybody.

I really don't know


Would you like

a tour of the inside of the

That's Big Daddy. You see, he'd
sit in here and

eat and drink and eat and
drink, and eat and drink

eat and drink, and then he'd
have a big old cigar.

He'd be in here for days and
days sometimes.

Entertaining different business
associates. He'd call me in

sometimes and have me lift up
my dress and show my bellybutton,

and we'd giggle.

So, why do you call him Big
Daddy? He's not that big.

That's not why we called him
Big Daddy.

So you're, you're

Miss Mell-
-dred. Yes I am. And what are you doing

when she's in such a delicate state.
- I'm Mr. Wills and she was kind enough

A tour. Isn't that special?

I was just showing him the
portrait of Big Daddy, it's so impressiv

Isn't it impressive? He's such
a big man.

He was a fine figure of a man.
There seems to be-

Take you hands off that! You
give that to me!

Oh Charlotte! Charlotte! Calm
down, it's just an old

stinky out-of-tune music box.
- An old stinky out of tune music box,

it's all I have left of John.

How dare you call it an old
stinky out of tune music box!

Get out! Get out! Get out all
of you! Get out!

Damn you! Damn you all!

Charlotte? Melanie? Anybody?


Go! You gotta go!

Get out!

- Get out!

Get the hell out!

How did this happen?

Big daddy. He was mad about

Get out!
- Charlotte!

Oh my god! Charlotte.

How did this happen?
- It was Big Daddy.

He was mad about something,

he was so angry. Real angry,
and he was here.

He was right here.
- Charlotte, you know that's

impossible. Big daddy's been
dead for many years.

But he was here. Right here. He
was so angry.

Real angry, he was here. Right

Yes, I got that he was here.
Right here.

Go upstairs and go to bed and
I'll get some bandages and call Drew.

Charlotte. Stop dripping over

Real angry. And he's here.

He was right here.
- Go upstairs!


- Oh, dammit.


- Mildred.

Drew, what are you doing in my

What is my suitcase

doing up here?
- Charlotte, we're taking you away from

today. Especially after last night.
- Last night?

Charlotte, you just stay put.

I'm gonna give you something to
help calm your nerves.

While Mildred packs up a nice
little bag for you.


Charlotte. Drew and I have
talked it over, we believe this house is

making you do things you can't

No I'm not, I won't go.

Jewel will be sitting down
there, waiting for me and laughing at me

I can't give her that

You see? She thinks Jewel Mayhem

is sitting outside, waiting for
her to go insane.

Is there anything else I can
get you Miss Mayhem?

How much more of this do we have to endu
- Now Melanie, she may be there now

But I think we should stay the
course and make sure that, when she's qu

she doesn't make any sense at

But she just thought that Big
Daddy broke the mirror. I'd say that's p

Give me the police. Yes, Luke?

This is Velma from down at
Holler Plantation. I need to come

down to the hotel and talk to
you and Mr. Wills right away. Yes.

Oh good, good. All right, well,

I will be coming right away and
I need to get me

a nice ham hock so I can make a
good stew for supper.

Yep, yep, that will be real
good, why thank you butcher

John. Yes I'll see you real

That was the butcher. I just
wanted to make sure I could get a nice

ham hock for stew for supper.

I heard your conversation. I
assume you

want to make some more of your
lovely hair products so you can continue

I might as well tell you now
Velma, we will be taking

Miss Charlotte away from here
tonight. Somewhere where she can be take

care of properly. So there will
be no more need for you

or your lovely stew.
- Taken care of? Someplace

where she can be taken care of?
Well I've been taking care of

her ever since Big Daddy died,
and we've been getting along

just fine until the likes of
you came.

Besides, only Miss Charlotte

can give me my walking papers.
- You don't seem to understand

My cousin is not in the right
frame of mind.

Oh and by the way, the childish
tricks you've been playing here,

trying to frighten me into
leaving? A more than sufficient reason t

Tricks? I didn't rip your
slutty old red

- Odd, you seem to know it was ripped.

I saw it. I saw it hanging in
your room.

Besides. I know you're here to
get your

hands on all Miss Charlotte's
money. That's why you

want to take her out of here
and take her someplace and commit her.

I know what you're up to missy,

missy, missy, miss missy.

This is none of your concern.
The point is, you are

no longer needed. You are being
let go.

You are fired! Is that plain

for your lily-white trash brain
to comprehend?

Now get out.

No. I'm gonna go upstairs

and tell Miss Charlotte what
you've been up to.

Go ahead. Tell her whatever
you'd like,

Come now my dear Velma. You're
not exactly the most reliable

sort due to your long standing
as an alcoholic.

What's all this ruckus going on down her

Oh, you should be ashamed,

both of you! I see everything

missy, missy miss missy, miss

Now Velma, don't be ridiculous.

There ain't nothing going on

We're just trying to take care
of Charlotte, because she's

ill and she needs special care.

All right.

I'm going. But don't think
you're not going to be

sorry. Both of you!

Yuck, that little pork-smelling

Can't wait until she's out of
my hair. Do you think she's going to be

Now Melanie, no one's going to
believe her.

Trust me.

Well they are taking advantage
of Miss Charlotte!

I tell you, she has not been
the same since that woman got here.

There is something going on
there that is really bad, it's really ba

I tell you! I think they are
trying to

commit her to someplace so they
can get her money!

I'm so sorry, what can I do.
- Well now, I saw the way she took to yo

I never saw her take to no one
like she did that, now, you could

talk to her, and you could tell
her not to listen to that

Miss Melanie and Dr. Drew.
- I thought it was Mildred.

Oh, I heard Dr. Drew address
her as Melanie.

What if he just addressed her by acciden

That woman ain't sweet at all.

ou do realize these are serious
accusations you're making. What if I cam

Oh, no, no, no, that would not
do. She just doesn't take to you like sh

to Mr. Wills. I mean, she likes
you for other things, but

she still doesn't trust you.

I'm worried about that Miss
Melanie and her charms.

Oh, I just don't think Mr.
Wells would be as influenced by that wom

- I wouldn't be influenced at all by her

I've never met that Dr. Drew.
- Oh, he's a real looker.


See Charlotte, you just needed
a good nap.

You look much better, and
you'll feel much better once you're away

old dusty house filled with
antique treasures.



Big Daddy.

Charlotte. I got to tell you
something, you've got to listen

[bell dings]
- Don't get that. You got to

listen to me. Charlotte, these
people are out to get you, my

sweet. That's not Mildred. And

Well, he's -
[bell dings]

Maybe it's John coming to get

Miss Charlotte, over here!

That's great, Miss Charlotte,
give me more excitement?

Now, give me some fear. Really
great stuff.

This time, give it all you've

Thank you, Miss Charlotte.


Charlotte? What was all the


I love you, Charlotte.


How is she?
- I would say

she'd be tripping real good
right now. Probably sleep

till morning.
- Well I have to figure out how to dispo

had made. He's quite charming,
don't you think?

Amazing work.

So, do you think we have her
where we want her?

Oh, Drew, I love you.
- Drew?

Where were you?

I should say. She's just one

more nudge until she's locked
up for the

rest of her days.

Good morning Charlotte!

There, what a lovely breakfast!
- That's not Velma's

southern cooking.
- No, I made it. Doesn't it look yummy?
- I want Velma's

southern breakfast. Where's

Don't you remember Charlotte?
You fired her!

You told her she was a no good

filthy whore and to get out and
to never step foot in this house again.

I did?
- Yes.
- I don't remember that.

You also mentioned she smelled
like pork.

I remember being downstairs



There, isn't that better? Now
I'll just take this tray

away and you can lie there and


A priceless heirloom.

Poor Charlotte will be so upset.

- Oh, it's just a cat.

Just an old, disgusting
pork-smelling cat.

I guess I'll go to the kitchen
and get a broom and clean up this mess.

And maybe I'll have a snack. Oh

A snack would be nice.


Miss Charlotte? Miss Charlotte?

Mis Charlotte!


They've been drugging you up!
Oh my stars. What kind of

crazy trip have they set you on?
- John...

No, It's not John! John is dead
and buried.

Big Daddy?
- No, it's not Big Daddy, he's dead and

Now hush Miss Charlotte, we've
got to get you out of here.


Charlotte. I brought you a
candy bar.

It is chocolate and nougat and
plenty of nuts. Doesn't that sound

- Velma?

Velma? Why Charlotte, why would
you be asking for her? She's gone,

remember? You fired that little
hillbilly pork-smelling

- She's getting me a sweater.

A sweater! Charlotte, you're
delusional, because

that little bitch better not
show her face around here

- Meeeoooww.
- What the hell do you

think you're doing?
- I came here to check on Charlotte.

She seemed a little cold, so I
was getting her

a sweater.
- A sweater. How nice.

I was coming to collect some of
my things.

Is my cousin one of your things?

Now get out of my house! This
house! Get out!

Oh now you're showing your true

You're that stinking bitch

- I told you

to get out and stay out!
- Oh, I'll go all right.

I'll go right to the Sheriff's
office and tell him

everything that's going on down

* [ominous music]


The filthy pork-smelling whore
is dead.

No stupid, Charlotte doesn't
smell like pork. She smells like- neverm

Just get here right away.

This is Drew. I'm over here at
Velma's and she's had a terrible acciden

She fell off a roof.
- That's terrible

news, Drew.
- Velma's dead.

You know Velma. She was
probably up on the

roof fixing her antennae or
taking down her Christmas lights

from last year or fixing the
holes in her roof, who knows.

Guess I'd better call some of
her kinfolk. Not that she

has much more than a cousin out
in Lafayette.

Thanks for calling.

There's nothing

more to worry about. Now, I'm

the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.

Well I guess I'd better be
taking the body down to the morgue.

We wouldn't want them to know
that "Miss Mildred"

threw Velma down the stairs and
practically broke every bone in

her body.

Now I have the upper hand, and

going to follow my plan.




Charlotte, Charlotte!

Charlotte. Charlotte.


Charlotte. Charlotte. Please,

Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte.


It's Mildred. Keep things
going. I'll take care of her.


* Hush up, sweet Charlotte

* Charlotte, don't you sigh

* You heard that I'm leaving
you *

* darling, that's a lie

* You know I'll always love you

* until the day I die

* Hush up, sweet Charlotte...

* and that's a long, long
time... *

Nighty night,






Look what you've done!

You've killed Drew!

You stupid, stupid bitch!


Melanie! Mildred, whatever your
name is, please

don't call the sheriff, Jewel
Mayhem will be laughing at me if she fin

killed anybody. Never, never,
never, we can think of something

I've got lots of money. Lots of

Piles of money. I'll give it to
you. All of it. You can have all of my m

I wish to God

I'd never come here.

All right. I'll get the car and you watc

It's the Sheriff and that nosy
Mr. Wills.

Just stay quiet and stay out of

Well go on!

Luke, Mr. Wills.

What can I do for you?
- Well, Miss Mildred.

Sorry I haven't been by to give you my r
- That's quite all right,

I know you have a lot to do,
doing Sheriff things and all.


Well, you sure are a sight for
sore eyes.

What can I help you with?
- Velma.

I wanted to ask you a few
questions about Velma's

issue, there seems to me some
confusion with time and such,

so Velma came by, she was real upset abo

Sheriff, but Charlotte is still
asleep, can't this wait until morning?

Yes, I suppose it could.

I'm sorry. We'll just come

by first thing. And you sure
are a sight for sore eyes.

Oh Luke, you're not so bad

Please give Miss Charlotte my

Yes, this has been a terrible
shock for her.

Give her my deepest sympathies.
- I will, Mr. Wills.
- Goodnight.

Miss Melanie.
- Mildred!
- Melanie!

I can't do it.

I can't do anything else. I
don't think I can help you.

You can't help me?

I'm the one that's helping you!

Do you want me to call the
Sheriff, Charlotte? Wash my hands of the

Is that what you want? All
right, then.



Do you mind?


I must be the worst person in
the world

to have killed Drew!
- Will you please

shut up?
- Sorry.

Now get out.

Don't make me do it Mildred.
- I said get out!



Will you please shut up?

Mildred, they'll be finding him
soon and coming to the house

and asking questions, and I
can't do it. I just can't

do it. You have to tell them.
You have to talk to them and tell them I

I'm really ill and I'm not able
to answer questions. They'll believe tha

Everybody in town thinks I'm
looney anyway. They'll believe that. Jew

have a field day with this one.
You have to talk to them!

They'll find out if you don't!

Now really,

you shut your mouth!

You'll do exactly what I tell

to do. If I tell you to lie,

you'll lie. If I tell you to
run around

town with your panties on your

you'll do that, too.

Do you understand?

[horn beeping]

Now get out! I'm going to drive
the car out back.

Why are you going to drive -
- Because I want to, that's why!

Go up to your room, and I'll
come back later to check on you.



Ah! Ah!


- He's here! He's here!

He's here! He's here!

He's dead! He's dead!


Hush up, sweet Charlotte.

Hush up


Oh gorgeous!



To a very profitable

arrangement. By tomorrow,

we should have her fully
committed, and it shouldn't be too long

you are in charge of all that
she possesses.

Which I believe is in the

- Well, as soon as everything's in my na

I'm going to move far, far
away. Maybe Paris.

Hong Kong. Tuluth.

Without me?
- Drew.

You didn't honestly think that
we would be romantically involved, did y

I used you. Now you'll be amply

- But you have forgotten one minor

little detail. Velma.

You killed her. For me to
forget that bit of information,

I'm afraid I'm coming with you.

I love you, Melanie. With all
my heart.


Oh, my dear, dear Drew, but you
don't know

the whole story. You see,

I've been blackmailing Jewel
Mayhem for years.

Ever since I just happened to
see her kill her husband John in a viole

Once I bled her dry

and helped her go stark raving
mad, I began to

work on Charlotte.

Charlotte never liked me. She
liked my sister, of course.

The nice one. The pretty one.

Not me. So, I started

sending her those letters.
She's been getting those for

years and years and years.

Well that's all well and good

You seem

to keep forgetting that you and
I are in this

together. And if I go down in
any way,

I'll take you down with me.

Well Drew, when you're right,

you're right. Here, darling,
let's have a drink then.

To us.
- To us.

Well, we have one more show to
put on tomorrow morning, and that's goin

to be a doozy. I have to act
devastated that my

poor cousin Charlotte has gone
completely insane!

Now I'm just stuck figuring out
to do with all these old, decrepit

priceless relics.

Is something wrong, Drew?
- Very strange

tingling sensation. My thumbs
is going numb!

I'm losing my, my footing.

My tongue is...

swollen. It's like I'm letting
go of all my

faculties! Like I've been...

Like what, Drew?

Like you've been poisoned?

Some men can't hold their
poison. And by the way, Drew,

That was for jilting me.

Maybe I do hold onto things.





Fix your hair up all pretty,
and put on some nice lipstick.


I got you that real nice music

So you can remember me.


Mildred is actually

Miss Melanie.

That means

Melanie must've gotten the boobie job!pp

that's what I always say.
- I bet Miss Charlotte just went on a ra

and killed Velma and her cousin.
- and she probably got

away with it, too. Just like
she did before.

She was living in the lap of

Big Daddy... I gotta go now.

They're going to tear down the
house, and I have to stay in a hotel unt

figure out what I'm going to
do. Where I'm going to live.

If only that Jewel Mayhem would
drop dead so I could buy her house

and live there. Still be close
to you and John.

Don't worry about a thing my
little daughter.

No, Miss Melanie.

Somebody help! Miss Mayhem, she
done died!


Charlotte, please! Please,


- Mildred, is that you?

Yes, She tied me up and kept me


My stars!

I killed John Mayhem. Sorry.
Yours Truly, Jewel Mayhem.

All this time.






take me to Jewel Mayhem's place.

She won't be needing it anymore.

Driver, stop the car.

Yes, Miss Charlotte?

Get in. I'm moving to Jewel
Mayhem's place.

That's a marvelous idea,

Charlotte. Now, don't you worry
about a thing.

Montgomery and I are going to
take care of everything.

Aren't we, Montgomery?

Oh, it's so good to be home,
and so wonderful

to see you. And remember

not a thing to worry about.

Everything's going to be just



* Hush up sweet Charlotte

* Charlotte, don't you

* sigh. You heard that

* I'm leaving you, darling,

* that's a lie.

* you know I'll always love you

* until the day I die

* hush up, sweet Charlotte

* that's a long, long time


* hush up sweet Charlotte

* Charlotte, dry your tears

* I'll come to you and hold you

* close and kiss away your

* fears. You know our

* love's forever. Forever and

* a day.

* hush up, sweet Charlotte

* I'll never go away


* hush up

* sweet Charlotte

* Charlotte don't you wait

* close your eyes and pray to

* the Lord our souls to keep

* you know I'll never leave you

* I wouldn't even try

* hush up sweet Charlotte

* hush up sweet Charlotte

* hush up sweet Charlotte

* you will always be mine

* you will always be mine

* you will always be mine

mine mine mine