Husband Material (2018) Movie Script

Neither black nor white,

so they say,

Hue of our love,

is in shades of grey!

Times have changed,

so has love's trait

Old fashioned love stories,

need an update

This bundled playful love

Spices roving romantic flavour

This bundled playful love

Is now called a mutual favour

This bundled playful love...

If we ever err to hurt another

Apologies wouldn't be needed

Blooming love shall be acceded

Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Outsoaring love shall breathe !

Logic isn't her cup of tea

Calm and restful she'll never be

Her heart sways, havocs wreak

Newer tantrums as we speak

It's an unsettled craze,

Mood of our love

unabashed in it's ways!

This bundled playful love

Spices roving romantic flavour

This bundled playful love

Is now called a mutual favour

This bundled playful love...

When our tug of war,

is of sweetest flair

The tangy flavour,

seeps in your care !

Blooming love shall be acceded

Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Blooming love shall be acceded

Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Let me show you!

Do you think I forgot?

This is how it's done!

Hue of our love,

is in shades of grey!

Hue of our love,

is in shades of grey!

"HUSBAND MATERIAL"

Rumi.

Rumi!

Like this...

...and fold here.

Rumi!

Open the door.

- Rumi! Open the

-O Dear Lord!

Stop banging the door.

You just sit there

to sunbathe!

Didn't you see them

sneak inside?

Let it be, mom!

Don't get me riled up!

Come here!

Are you guys deaf?

Open the damn door!

Damn this old age!

See!

The door isn't just latched,

it's blocked by a chair!

It's that Sandhu's son

from next door.

He's been terrace-hopping

for a year!

Making fools of us!

But not today!

But, child...

...she told me she'd be

practicing her dance routine.

Or maybe the door

is swollen!

Yeah right!

No rain, nor sleet.

So how did the door swell up?

Because it's

old and worn out.

Call..

- No one is calling anyone!

You better move aside! Today,

I'm going to catch them red-handed.

Move aside both of you!

Rumi!

What are you doing?

One

Two.

You...

Stop, you...!

Wait...

There you go!

Didn't I tell you?

This peacock

sneaks in every day!

"Save yourself."

"Escape now."

"You heartthrob."

"Watch out."

Your t-shirt is

inside-out.

"Listen."

"Do as it is said."

"This youth.."

"..is to be blamed."

Hey, mom!

Did you hear?

That girl next door girl,

eloped with her boyfriend...

...and had a love-marriage!

But then, within a month...

...he dumped her

for another girl!

There's no guarantee of love

in love-marriages.

I should leave now.

But we guarantee love in

arranged-marriages!

Leave like a gentleman.

Through the front door.

And our next song for our young friends.

This next song goes out to all

the young lovers!

Who want "Fyaar" over love.

F for Fyaar!

F for Fyaar.

So what!

F for Fyaar.

"Love is life."

Walk!

- "Love is happiness."

"There's nothing without love."

"Love is permanent."

"There's nothing without love."

"Love is punishment."

"Love is fun."

"There's nothing without love."

Oye! Vicky!

Bike is parked on the other side!

Should I bring it around?

Hello, uncle!

Tell him to bring your bike

to the front!

"There's nothing without love."

Hello, grandfather!

Bring my bike to the front!

Umm...

The shop front?

Or the statue front?

Okay!

Don't let me see you

here again!

We're a hockey family!

We play off-the-field

as well.

They've setup a court

downstairs.

Your case should be heard

any moment.

Dad! Rumi's affair...

...is hurting our reputation!

Rumi! Come down!

She doesn't listen to us!

She only listens

to you!

Rumi!

Come down!

She's screwed this time!

Rumi?

Rumi, mom's coming upstairs.

They're going to beat

the shit out of you!

You'll be screwed if

they catch you again!

Please come out!

If my aunt catches us again,

she's going to kill you!

That doesn't scare me!

Please leave! I promise

twice the 'fyaar' next time!

You are just ...!

Rumi! What are you upto?

Not those dumbbells again!

- 30.

I've called out to you

so many times! - 31.

Her parents would've been

ashamed if they were alive today.

The entire town is talking

about these two.

They are the only

weirdos here.

That peacock!

And our Red Fairy!

Who'll want to marry into a

dishonored family?

I have a daughter too!

Kimmy! Calm down.

She also made her

quit hockey.

She'd be playing

Nationals by now.

I had to pull this information

out of Kiran ...

...that she ran away from

the national camp with him.

Enough!

It's time to get her married.

Alright.

Let's call the wedding agent.

To find Rumi an alliance.

I'm only going to

marry Vicky!

I won't even offer a cup of tea

to anyone else.

He isn't interested in

marrying you.

If he was, he wouldn't

come through the terrace!

What else can he do!

You're always guarding

the door.

Even a cat can't sneak inside,

let alone a human!

Shut up for a minute!

Will his family come

with a marriage proposal for you?

And if he doesn't ...

...then the wedding agent

will find you a groom.

If Vicky doesn't come

tomorrow to meet you ...

...then I'll marry the first idiot

you find me!

And I didn't quit Hockey

for him.

Some conservatives killed

a woman hockey player.

That's why!

What are you thinking?

If my mom and dad

were alive ...

...your mom wouldn't dare talk

down to me like this.

It's all luck!

All these DJs making it to

the billboards!

All you need is that

one chartbuster.

And I'll be playing to packed stadiums

and earning billions!

Check this out.

Cut.

No, dude!

It needs to be ...

It needs to be more ...!

More...

I can't get over this fever.

F for Fyaar.

I want love.

Get ready now.

Don't make excuses.

My car's parked outside.

We'll escape.

You are hot.

F for Fyaar.

Hey...

Hey! Rumi!

Will you marry me?

Why not?

Only a fool would say

no to you!

I don't want to marry

anyone else.

Will you marry me?

Of course, I will!

Okay.

Get your dad to talk to

my grandfather, tomorrow!

My dad?

Of course! Who else?

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

What's up?

But dad might be ...

That's alright.

Bring your mom then.

You can jump over terraces

for 'Fyaar'.

You can take a beating

for it.

But you can't ask for

my hand in marriage?!

But, Rumi!

This is so sudden

- Yeah, it's sudden

I've given my word that

you'll come with a proposal.

And that if you don't turn up ...

...I'll marry the first idiot

they choose for me!

What!

You know I've never

gone back on my word.

Now you decide.

And listen!

Call me only if you're

coming tomorrow!

If not ...

delete my number!

Hey...

Yonex is a brand for racquets.

Jonex is a brand for

hockey sticks.

Don't mix "Y" with "J"!

J for Jalandar.

And the best brand for

hockey is '"Rakshak"'.

But isn't Yonex the best international

brand for hockey?

It's famous worldwide.

You're mixing

"Y" and "J" again.

I've told you

a million times already.

Best brands for hockey are

Jonex and Vampire.

Quit hockey!

Go play cricket!

Quit sports and do yoga!

What?

Are you coming home?

Rumi!

Atleast hear me out!

Die!

Rumi.

What did I get into!

Your attitude will cost

us this business!

Save your business!

I'll go.

I'm going to take a walk.

I'll be back soon.

Sorry, madam.

Add more spice!

I've been eating here

for years.

And you still don't know my taste!

If I make it spicier,

your mouth will be on fire.

I want that fire!

I want to burn down your shop.

I'm a dragon!

Rumi.

I'm not ready for marriage!

I need time.

I've just started

as a DJ..

- You don't need time

when you're aroused.

You fire your gun in under

a minute.

You should join

the army!

Atleast you'll

be useful to the country!

Get lost!

- What is this nonsense?

You know I love you!

If you did, you'd

come home to talk.

But we never wanted

marriage!

But I have to now!

You can't decide for

both of us!

That's why ...I'm not holding you

at gunpoint!

I was confident of your love,

is why I gave my word...

...that you'll

marry me.

If we hadn't been caught,

I wouldn't have insisted.

But we did

get caught.

That's why I need you

to bail me out!

Before I get a life-sentence

with someone else.

I don't get it!

You never get it.

Dumb idiot!

You're being

unfair to me!

Oh and you're not?

Get lost!

I won't!

Leave or I'll send you home

in a wheelchair!

I won't budge until you talk

some sense!

As you wish!

What the...!

- We've a thief in the shop!

What are you doing?

Who is it?

Don't you mess with me!

Get lost.

Rummi.

Hello, uncle!

I'll marry...

...whoever you chose!

This one!

So you've short-listed

three girls.

Yes.

It's a best of three then.

Sadly you can marry

only one of them.

Yes.

Say hello to my missus.

Ours was an

arranged marriage too.

Yeah, he had a sweet shop ...

Fed sweets to my parents and

now I'm stuck!

Hello.

Yes, sir?

For whom?

Groom for our Rumi?

That's wonderful.

Send me some photos

for her profile.

Yes.

I'll find her the

perfect match.

Sir! So far...

I have arranged 99

marriages successfully.

Our Rumi will

complete my century!

I want a divorce!

Feed me 'Kofte'

and I might consider it.

I won't even call my lawyer

after eating this Gourd!

Hey Robbie!

Hello.

Let's tie his turban.

There he is!

See! He's still wearing

his turban.

How are you, son?

Had a good flight?

- Give me a hug.

The Agent has lined up

so many girls for you.

You get to pick and choose

your bride.

We'll take all the time

in the world...

...and shortlist a dozen

prospective brides.

I don't need a dozen.

One is enough.

If you didn't want choices then why

ask us to arrange it?!

Even your dad had shortlisted about

ten before he chose me!

The girl should feel

like the "chosen one".

Don't worry.

Arranged marriages, these days ...

... are quite modern.

Once the proposal is confirmed...

... the society allows them

to watch adult films together.

Okay! Let's settle.

We'll shortlist around

4-5 girls?

Haven't met

a single girl, yet ...

... and you've already

started your soap opera.

What soap opera?

You don't get into this!

Please put

those dumbbells aside?

She'll seem like a wrestler!

Even you!

Move out of the frame!

Do you want to

change your sneakers?

Is he going to marry me ...

or my shoes?

Maybe something

more feminine?

Get it.

Let the wind flow,

Let the storm bellow

Knead the feelings like a dough

-Take the ball and just throw !

Shouts from the rooftops

Dances as the beat drops

Take positions atop

Her goal's a drag flick shop

Pretty face, Shiny shoes

Whatch'a lookin' at,

Dhyanchand (Hockey Legend)?

Blackest eyes, sexy view

Whatch'a lookin' at, Dhyanchand?

Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, this girl's

crazy Footloose, free and easy !

Angry and not-so-gaiety

She's confused and dazey.

Her heart goes round n round

It takes a plunge and drowns

In this ocean of love

Time's on merry-go-round!

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

She'd be whimsy,

She'd be kooky

If she's in the mood

She'd kick your ass !

Don't go near her

Just step aside and run

She'll shoot you point blank

A pump-action shotgun

Her soul is pure, talks like a saint

Whatch'a looking at, Dhyanchand?

Pretty face, devil's acquaint

Whatch'a looking at, Dhyanchand?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

State level hockey player,

and owns a sports shop!

Her parents played

hockey too.

One of the most respectable

sports families of town!

Her grandfather is

a coach too.

And this is Lovely Singh.

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

She's my relative.

A dentist!

She put this gold

cap for me!

She's pretty!

One of the most respectable

dentist families in Amritsar!

Wherever she goes,

insanity's embossed

If she kickstarts,

won't stop at any cost.

Don't ask me, why's she so awesome?

She enjoys a century, the pole position.

Tangy talks, fickle moves

Whatch'a looking' at Dhyanchand

Pretty face, Shiny shoes

Whatch'a looking' at Dhyanchand

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

No, bro!

I'm sorry!

Please let it go!

Whatch'a looking at,

Dhyanchand ?

Get lost!

Go die!

- I'm leaving!

Get lost!

- Fine, I'll go.

Fine!

Damn these two lovebirds!

Wait.

I'm the one sandwiched

between them.

Vicky, please!

This guy is giving me

a headache.

Vicky is slitting his wrist.

Here! Talk to him.

See for yourself.

Can you see it?

Vicky, stop!

Oh my God, blood!

You call that slitting?

Ask him to learn from

a Youtube tutorial.

Or I'll come

slit his throat.

Tell her to turn down

the proposal or...

... this blade

goes deeper!

Why should I turn

it down?

He'll never come

with a proposal.

Trying to ruin my

potential wedding!

I'll come!

You will?

Yes. I will.

Brother!

Listen to me.

That hockey-girl suits you!

Shut up!

Chop those vegetables.

I'm doing that!

The other girl, Lovely ...

...she's quite homely!

And this Rumi ...

... she's got a bad reputation.

That Lovely has cat eyes!

She'll claw you.

It was on Crime Show,

just last night ...

A girl stabbed and robbed

her mother-in-law.

Even she had cat eyes.

- Stop your nonsense!

Fine. Don't listen to me!

Ignore the truth.

Did I ask for

your opinion?

But I -

- I'll beat you!

But I'm family too!

Can you ever shut up?

If nonsense was taxable,

you'd pay the most!

For that, you need

to pay me first!

Here! Take the peas.

Pass it.

You need to peel

more peas.

Why? You cooking for

entire colony?

You alone eat for

a hundred people!

Damn you! Want to

jinx my good health now?

Don't be so dramatic.

- I'll beat you!

Whatever.

If you want to marry

that troublemaker...

...then book me a room

at an 'ashram'!

You..

- Don't you dare say a word!

How did you deduce...

...that she's trouble?

I can count the feathers

on a flying dove!

She's just a girl.

Look at her hair!

And her eyes.

Trouble written all over.

Just let me choose.

Let me choose...

... and you'll see!

Are you going to live

with her or am I?

For God's sake!

Don't impose your

daughter-in-law fantasies on me!

Just because you were rejected

by five families...

...when you were getting married...

...doesn't mean I need

to reject five!

Listen...

I agreed to

an arranged marriage.

I didn't agree to

window shop for brides.

I don't want a maid...

...neither an escort

... nor a nurse.

I want my life-partner!

So let me decide!

Chant loudly.

Hail Goddess!

Hello, Mrs. Bhatia!

He is stuck on that

hockey-girl.

None of the others?

None!

Okay?

The dentist?

He's hooked on to

the hockey-girl!

Rumi, that hockey player...

...did you do her

background check?

Everyone knows...?

What?

DJ?

Sandhu's son?

Her DJ affair is over.

Rumi, herself, asked us

to find a husband.

Kakaji ...

I trust

my granddaughter.

She'll never dishonour

the family.

You know how it is...

The market trusts me.

A marriage arranged

by Kakaji ...

...is unbreakable!

I wanted to kill you ...

...when you agreed to an

arranged marriage!

When I had to go to the

abortion clinic ...

...alone in a rickshaw ...

I wanted to kill you, too!

I was stuck

somewhere that day!

You're always stuck somewhere!

- Yes, I am!

Either you're stuck

with your family...

...or your crappy gigs!

Or you're buying groceries

for your mum!

Listen...

I want to be

glued to you...

...forever.

We don't need to be

married for that.

Fine by me.

When do I move in?

Let's elope.

I'll go wherever

with you.

I can't be

without you.

I don't want to

make love in bits and pieces.

I want to make love

under the stars...

drenched in sweat!

Keep going on for...

two... three... four

or-

-gasms!

I swear...

...then we don't need to

leave the bedroom ever!

Right?

Let's elope!

Right now?

Not now!

My mom's cooking

for me today.

YOUR MOM

But...

...we can elope tomorrow.

Sure?

Sure!

Where are you going?

Take care

of yourself!

Oh man!

Atleast turn the lights off!

Sweet n Spicy she's zesty

She's tango, she's charlie

Woo her now or be nasty

She won't concur nor parley

She's destruction personified

Argues like a suicide squad.

Save yourself, just run and hide

Here comes the thunder god.

"Here comes the thunder god."

Did you bring money?

I have some.

Why?

You didn't bring any?

I forgot my wallet!

Calls to the battalion

Airforces or stallions

She fires away...

like a nuke-missile

Calls to the battalion

Where are we going?

What?

I asked, where are

we going?

Who knows! We'll see!

Like a nuke-missile

What will we do?

We'll figure!

How will we live?

We'll manage.

I'm a DJ and you can

sell hockey sticks.

We'll manage!

Stop the jeep.

Stop what?

The damn jeep!

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

We're eloping!

How much gas does

your jeep have?

There's enough.

It was filled just

the day before ...

...by yours truly!

And where are

you taking me "yours truly"?

Wherever you want!

Take me to Mumbai.

Got enough gas for that?

Why not Birmingham?

We can either make it

to Shimla or Delhi.

Shimla or Delhi?

- What?

Shimla? Or Delhi?

I guess Delhi!

Sure?

Maybe.

And if...

maybe we reach Delhi ...

How'll we survive?

You bloody imposter DJ!

With your borrowed hairstyle!

Have you ever made

one original track?

Always stealing other

people's music!

Do you see me carrying

hockey sticks to sell?

All I'm asking is...

...if we reach Delhi

...how will

we survive?

I...

We'll find something

to sell!

Why not your organs?

Your kidney and liver

on discount!

Why are you yelling?

Didn't you ask to elope!

Yes, I did!

To run away

with you!

No matter where!

Because I thought you

had it planned!

Where we'll live!

What we'll eat or do!

And if you had no clue

then you should have...

...asked me to plan!

Then I could've

decided for us!

Either you take

all the responsibility...

...or leave it to me...

...else, we can share it!

Vicky, you're potentially

a great guy...

...but you shit in the

name of responsibility.

For once

make me believe...

..that I can...

...count on you!

Rumi, you can

count on me!

I did what

you asked!

I don't understand

responsibility!

I didn't have time to

think through!

And all those awful things

that you said ...

...you shouldn't have.

Even if it's the truth!

Especially about

my music!

You totally

destroyed me!

I've always been the same guy.

Why pick on it now!

I didn't get

it then!

And I still don't get it!

Does that make me

the bad guy?

I'm not ready to

take responsibility...

And that's why

I can't marry you!

That doesn't mean

I don't love you!

The love that I give ...

...and the love

that we make, Rumi ...

No one can beat that!

Go marry

your responsible guy.

He'll keep you safe,

like a doll...

...in his showcase!

But won't jump terraces

to make love to you....

...when you're aroused!!

And if we don't do it

twice a day ...

...you'll burn down

the city!

That's who you are!

She won't submit or concede

Break-failed Jeep in top speed

21 gun salute, fired for her

Equals to infantry's breed.

People often do complain

Her demented likeness to a clown

Do not underestimate her !

She's a lunatic from our hometown !

Dulcet, vibrant like our films,

Singers singing our folk songs

She comes in laughter, smiles

and her frowns

Who's there?

Go back to work!

Vicky?

Go away!

Stop, you dog!

Now tell me!

Who'll take this responsibilty?

So what should I do?

Fight for us.

With what weapon?

Ask me!

Come home

and meet my family!

We can marry

whenever you're ready!

But...let's get engaged!

You dog.

Leave me, you dog.

You dog!

Get off.

Somebody get this

bull off me!

Hello!

Please have some sweets!

Here! Distribute it.

He's coming home

to talk of marriage!

Where were you?

- I'd run away!

With your bags?

- Weightlifting.

Tomorrow, the groom's family...

...will be here at 4 pm!

I was about to...

...call you!

Okay.

I'm slightly ashamed

but I'll be honest.

Rumi has agreed to

another proposal.

So... we have

to turn down your client!

You've really embarrassed

the whole family.

Especially your grandfather.

That man has never gone

back on his word.

It's okay!

There's always a first time

for everything!

Do you have no shame?

I chose my happiness

over shame!

And do you know that....

..."Shame" is often what leads

to suicide.

If my father were alive

- Don't dare manipulate me!

You know that friend

of Rumi's...

Yes.

...he wants to marry her.

And ...even Rumi wants to

marry him.

You gave me your word.

And I took you for it.

And what should I

tell my client?

That you've backed out?

I gave them a guarantee!

My credibility is at stake!

Why can't you just

decide for once!

And when I do,

should I call or text?

Eight years ago, another client

had gone back on his word.

I've been limping since.

Now, my other leg

is your responsibility.

Yes.

Rumi.

I need to talk to you.

I can't today.

I've to get my hair done.

You can do that later.

Meet me!

I'm not doing it for you!

My friend is getting

engaged tonight.

Hi-class, hip, rad - kinda like a wiz

Eight packs tight abs hoodlum he is

A free soul, keeps flying

like a jail bird College dropout..

...rich, spoilt brat he is

Well-cultured and mannered...

...a perfect beget Kinda like

a dirty drink and a game of roulette

Go, now, go,

Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars

under a mistletoe,

Go now go,

get me a ring aglow

Mr. Priest, align our stars

under a mistletoe !

I'd also go

for the Hockey player.

Good-looking, simple girls

are aplenty.

Tell that to mom!

Life gets boring

with an easy-going girl.

This one's a

roller-coaster!

She'll pull you slow...

... and drop you fast.

Throw you in a spiral!

Safety's not guaranteed!

In banking...

...even we don't

guarantee safe returns!

For my criminal beau,

dowry's a crime

For my criminal beau,

dowry's a crime

Except a mansion, a fancy car,

a briefcase full of cash.

Except a mansion, a fancy car,

a briefcase full of cash.

Simple and naive,

like a wind-chime

Simple and naive,

like a wind-chime

Divorced only thrice,

Ends marriage in a flash!

Divorced only thrice,

Ends marriage in a flash!

But he's soft-spoken!

Honest, ethical and open!

Often a gangster at heart,

A SOB that's woken !

Go, now, go,

Get me my beau !

Was mum the roller coaster?

Or easy one?

Your mum definitely

wasn't the easy one.

What do you think?

Those five guys

wanted to reject her?

I made them do that!

Kiran, listen!

- Yes?

Dust that sofa and

change the covers!

That corner too!

Kiran.

Don't miss any spots!

Madam, money?

- Yes.

Just a second.

Make sure the veggies

are fresh.

Or I'll take my money back!

Pick up that bucket.

And you leave for the market.

Yes.

I'm getting ready! You guys get ready

and make sure Rumi is too!

Okay!

Go, now, go,

Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars

under a mistletoe.

Go, now, go,

Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars

under a mistletoe.

Grandpa!

The number you're trying

to call is not reachable.

Please call again later.

He's two hours late.

And his phone is switched off !

He should've atleast

called to cancel!

Kiran, turn off the stove!

Yes.

Our first option

is slightly busy !

This one ...

We can meet her.

Lovely Singh Kriplani.

She's pretty !

Let's meet

the available girl now

And we'll see about...

She did a root canal for me!

Twice !

Ah yes!

See!

Both her parents

are dentists.

Wow!

- And they own a hospital.

Most respectable dentist family

in town !

Yes.

Well...

You never know when things

might change ...

So I'm always ready with

three options.

You shouldn't complain later

that I didn't give you options!

Oh! Cm'on!

Personally ...

... the first one plays

hockey all day.

Rides a bike like boys.

And is disrespectful.

For real?

- Yes!

This one is pretty.

A doctor!

Lovely !

Yes.

She made pickles

for my wife.

Oh wow !

What do hockey players...

... know about pickles!

Anyday I'd

choose this one!

Where is he?

He went towards

your house!

The number you're trying

to call is not reachable.

Do come to my wedding,

all of you!

I'll whatsapp you

the invites!

Let him know!

I'll marry anyone

you choose!

Call them over.

Do you have a house

in London?

Yes.

You own it?

Yes!

- Offer them first!

Do you also own

a gas station?

No! Not yet.

We don't intend to.

My aunt there

owns a gas station.

And also a franchise of

Dunkin' Donuts!

She even runs two 7-Elevens!

Yes .

There are no 7-Elevens

in London!

Oh, there aren't?

As if we'd know!

Do you own a car?

Yes, but...

...the subway is just

round the block.

And Sainsbury

is right across.

Sainsbury?

Like a supermarket!

- Okay!

Only much bigger!

Oh okay!

Do you keep the turban

even in London?

You keep the turban?

Sometimes ...

- That's alright. Please have this!

How long have you

been playing hockey?

We had sticks lying

around the house ...

... so I picked it up.

My parents used to play.

You played for

the state?

I was selected for the camp.

But not the team.

What do you do?

I work in a bank.

Cashier?

- Security Guard.

Are you ready

for marriage?

Take it.

I don't mind!

You don't want

a love-marriage?

Nowadays, everyone

- It's all bullshit!

And if I think too much,

I might not marry at all.

Whatever will be,

will be.

Eventually, the donkey will be

led to the slaughter ...

You mean the lamb!

What?

Lambs are led to

slaughter.

Yeah. So?

You said "Donkeys will be led

to slaughter."

The saying is,

"Lamb to the slaughter!"

Yeah.

But donkey works too.

You don't want to ask

me anything?

All your information was

in your bio-data!

Your favourite color too.

Blue! Right?

No, look that...

Mom and uncle.

So it's not blue?

I mean, Yes!

It is! But...

You ask me!

Are you on Tinder?

Just got back

from London ...

...and you've already

scored a bride!

Do you have a photo?

Show us! Oh wow!

- Damn! She's hot!

Bro, chose an Indian

over an english girl.

Who needs an english girl?

Remember the guy from

our village...

...who married the English girl!

She's feeds

his cattle now!

I saw it on her Facebook.

Drink.

Cheers.

That's my Rumi.

- Who are you?

Return the phone.

Why do you have her picture

on your phone?

This is my Rumil.

Who the hell are you?

I'll tell you who I am.

Return the phone.

- Going to kill me?

I will!

Go on, bro.

Pull that trigger!

Robbie, tell me to shoot.

Make sure when you shoot

you kill me.

Because if I don't die...

...she isn't getting married

to anyone else.

And if I die,

she'll definitely kill herself.

Go on. Shoot me.

Robbie, say yes!

Why ask him?

Pull the trigger.

Robbie, just nod ...

I'll do it!

Hey.

"Even I want love."

Kakaji just shared

her pictures.

"I want love."

I haven't met her yet.

"My car is waiting outside."

Who was that guy?

Vicky

a.k.a DJ Sandzz.

Rumi's Boyfriend.

You knew about him?

He's all over

her Facebook.

Now?

I'm not sure.

Why would Rumi agree to marry me

if she loves Vicky?

She won't tell me.

I won't ask her.

You should've

said no to the alliance.

You should meet Rumi,

someday.

You'll know why I

couldn't say no.

But...

If Vicky's love has

any substance ...

...then no one can take Rumi away

from him.

That doesn't mean I don't

put in my chips.

Bro is a real banker.

The true gambler.

Kakaji!

Kakaji?

- Bloody marriage bureau.

Easy, brother!

Where's the doorbell?!

Anal Sachdeva...

...this is not the name we're

looking for.

The name is Kakaji.

Could be his

father's name!

Vicky! Are you crazy?

You're my bro, right?

Move aside.

Kakaji.

Open the door already!

Hello, Kakaji?

Kakaji.

Hello.

Don't break the door!

Who's Kakaji?

Kakaji!

What do you want?

- Greetings Ma'am !

Looking for Kakaji.

Stand back and talk!

Where's Kakaji?

- He'll be here soon.

Where is Kakaji?

- What do you want?

- Where's he?

-You'll find him.

- Where?

Where is Kakaji?

- Aunty, please tell us.

-Why are you looking for him?

Stand back and talk!

Stay back.

We just need to ask him

some questions.

Stop screaming!

He'll come.

Come out.

Where did you go?

Where is Kakaji?

Are you Kakaji?

Don't hit him

Come here!

What did I do?

- Get here.

Are you Kakaji?

Vicky, please!

Vicky ! Don't hit him!

If you take Rumi away from me...

... I'll chop you

to pieces!

If Rumi is going to marry anyone ...

then it'll be me!

Understood?

- Yes!

Who will she marry?

- You!

What's my name?

Vicky Sandhu!

Now repeat it!

You're Sandhu's son?

- Yes. Say my name?

Vicky Sandhu.

Got this to beat me?

Vicky Sandhu.

Get me a knife!

No! No, Vicky!

Where is the knife?

No, no, no.

What does he want?

Sorry.

How dare you try to

marry her off?

How dare you !

Running a Marriage Bureau

to kill the lovers

of the world!

He won't share her

pictures anymore.

He won't.

Please lock the door

from inside.

Let's go!

Wait! Open the door!

Tell him who'll marry Rumi?

- Please don't open.

Ask him!

You will marry her.

Are you trying to make matches

or get us killed?

Are you trying to make matches

or get us killed?

How dare he enter our house

and break bottles?

He dares!

What can I say?

I dare you to do the same

at his house, tomorrow!

And break his legs.

I'm not a wrestler!

I'll complain!

He won't

bother you again.

What if he creates

a scene again?

Don't worry.

Our son...

... will guard your home.

Just don't let him

break this proposal.

You take care of

the groom's family.

We'll take care

of Vicky.

We'll report him

to the police.

And Babloo will

guard you.

Great!

This is exactly why

I went to university.

To hell with your MBA ...

... if you can't help

your family.

You guard their house ...

...and get your

sister married.

Come join the party.

Hello!

- Call Vicky.

Are you his friend?

Yes.

I'm his "friend"!

Your son isn't

letting me get married.

But turns up

for the honeymoon anyway.

Come inside!

Neither is he marrying me...

...nor letting me

marry the other person.

I told him ...

... let's get engaged.

He agreed...

but didn't turn up.

Makes me look like

a fool.

He doesn't value

my word.

Oye! Listen!

This time,

I saved you!

Next time if you

create a scene...

... I'll be the first to

report you to the police!

What's going on?

I don't know, mummy.

I'll tell you.

I'm getting engaged

tomorrow.

Either sit tight at home

or leave town!

I don't want to see

your ugly face again.

Here, your shawl.

He stole it to gift it to me!

It's dry cleaned.

Will someone tell me

what's going on?

Aunty, your son

has lost it.

You get lost.

- Why should I?

I'll tell you.

She's marrying

someone else...

...because your boy

won't grow up.

Uncle, he can't even

make up his mind.

Why can't he just talk

to her family?

She's ready to

wait for him...

...as long as

he commits.

Uncle, tell me...

She's not asking him to

marry right away...

...at least

get engaged!

So that her family isn't

shamed.

Vicky, the girl was right.

If you can't sit tight,

leave town.

Let's invite...

...only close

friends and family.

Robbie wants a small

wedding.

Limited guests.

I disagree. A wedding

should be big.

Yes, indeed.

It's no fun...

...if it's not

a grand reception!

For you I left the world behind,

We'll chill there, bro.

"I've chosen you.

- Party hard.

"I've chosen you.

I tried to to stop myself,

But my heart's made up its mind

Dude, what happened?

Why are you turning back

towards the city?

Don't go to her.

Get down!

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Crying out for you,

My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Keep Rumi away from him.

What happened?

Get lost!

I need to talk to Rumi.

She won't meet you.

Just leave!

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Do you want me to

kick you out?

You can do

whatever you want.

I won't leave.

Unless Rumi comes and

talks to me...

I'll stand here

in protest.

Twisting and turning hour after hour

Oh, why do we doubt

this love of ours,

Twisting and turning hour after hour

You are my spirit,

You are my being

Come back.

You are my spirit,

You are my being

You are everything.

Yet you forget me,

almost like I'm nothing

Yet you forget me,

almost like I'm nothing

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

He's been standing

there all day.

What is he trying

to prove?

Crying out for you,

My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

She's locked herself in.

Get rid of

this trouble.

People will talk.

Rumi!

Listen.

What do you want?

Leave.

- I want to marry you!

I'm engaged and

getting married tomorrow.

Now get lost!

I know that.

But you aren't married yet.

And you think

I'll call it off for you?

I don't like

your face anymore.

Leave!

- I know you love me.

Then you're delusional.

I know I made a mistake

but I'll make it up to you.

Rumi, our love

- Screw love.

Stop this nonsense

and listen.

Whether you like it

or not...

I know how to get love

and make love!

I'll fix everything.

Please forgive me!

You think I'm here...

...to keep forgiving you.

Think, before you marry

someone else.

Just leave!

Stop pushing.

I'm leaving alright.

You're treating me

like a beggar.

That's exactly

what you are!

And a thief too!

Even your haircut

is a copy!

Why are you always

insulting me?

Beggar or thief,

we're meant to be.

Out!

Rumi,

... we have but, one life!

I'm here to marry you!

I'll do anything.

I'd die for you.

Are you dumb?

It's too late.

I've moved on.

Get out.

Let's run away!

Is this a joke

for you?

We eloped once, right?

What happened then?

Look around!

Everything is set.

Guests, food, stage ...

everything!

DJ Sandzz,

bring your music...

... and dance at

my wedding!

When you're crying alone

after your wedding...

...call the caterers, the decorators

to cry on their shoulders!

Tell them "I got married because

your arrangements were done...

...now come

wipe my tears."

Fine. I will!

When you

wanted to elope...

... I came without

thinking twice!

This time, I'm asking.

You can count

on me now.

I can't live without you!

Die then!

He has realized

his mistakes.

So...

...you'll run away?

I don't know anymore...

...but I don't want

to lose him.

Whatever I decide

today...

... will become

the rest of my life.

And what

about grandpa?

And family?

- I know they'll be upset.

They won't talk to me.

Are you even listening

to yourself?

Whatever you're planning ...

... it's just wrong, Rumi!

It's selfish!

I don't understand

what kind of love is this.

It's the kind of love where ...

..its never enough!

And what about

the groom...

...who's expecting you there

tomorrow?

He'll find someone better.

But does he deserve to

find out at the altar...

...that God has someone

better planned for him?

Right.

You run away.

That's fine.

Bro! If mom...

...catches her daughter-in-law,

at this hour...

... there's going

to be drama!

I wanted to talk to you!

Yeah, sure.

Wanna come in.

I ...

I don't want to get married.

What?

I can't come to the

Gurudwara tomorrow.

Is tomorrow a problem?

No.

I mean I don't want

to get married.

He's screwed.

I thought I'd let you know

so you don't wait for me.

I don't suit you anyway.

You deserve

someone better!

That's all!

I'll leave now.

Are you on facebook?

I'll add you!

Can you please help me

kickstart the bike?

She walks like fire,

blazing funeral pyre

World's on mute

but she's an amplifier

Tined tongue talks smack !

Never spares a needed whack

Carries a mean stick

Mind your words or feel the sick burn

She'll brass hard on your manhood,

Dare belittle, any sister from the hood.

Watch out !

She roars like a lioness

Pride in her gait,

Shine on her face,

Foxy mind, shrewd in her trait,

A fiery gaze

Now move to the side

She's not your Jekyll, She's Mr. Hyde.

Do you defy?

She'll eat you alive...

She is chaos

Go ahead and try.

She's not your Jekyll,

She's Mr. Hyde.

"Try and say."

"Try and crate.."

"..the uproar."

"Try and do it."

This month's..

..30th is final.

Excuse me.

Tell me, Mr. Robbie.

This guy...

This DJ...

- Sandhu's son?

If his name is Sandhu,

then he's obviously Sandhu's son!

What does he do?

- Nothing much ...

Earns a little money

as a DJ.

What kind of life can he

offer Rumi?

His love won't pay

the bills or rent!

Did Rumi

say something?

She's changed

her mind?

You can't reason with

those two!

Rumi is especially difficult!

Rumi might be difficult.

The guy might be too.

But the boy's parents...

...might be easy

to talk to?

They must be practical.

What should I tell them?

Are you mad?

You'll take her away

on her wedding day?

It's my mistake

that I didn't do this earlier.

No son, that wasn't a mistake.

When you paid your way

into engineering college ...

...that was a mistake.

Then one day,

on Facebook...

...you saw your

banker friend's lifestyle.

So you decided to

pursue the same.

And I paid for it.

That was a mistake.

And then you went

and got your hair cut.

Defying our religion...

Thinks he'll

become a DJ...

...by changing his name

from Sandhu to Sandzz!

You've never understood

the difference ...

...between wanting

and doing.

You don't value anything...

...because I gave it to you

on a platter.

This time

I'm doing something!

Yeah, I can see that!

Eloping with a bride

on her wedding day.

Very responsible!

Good job, son!

Running away is easy...

...but building

a home is tough!.

Why are you ruining

her life?

Papa, I... I can't live

without Rumi!

Really?

Then you should have

done this before!

Now she's marrying

someone else ...

...so you've woken up.

If you respected her...

...she wouldn't be pleading

with us yesterday.

You don't want

to marry her.

You just want to own her...

... like all your other toys.

You cried for this yo-yo.

Threw it away, when

you couldn't figure it out.

One day you wanted

to be a boxer ...

The next day,

a cricketer!

Son, you can never

make up your mind.

Please spare Rumi!

She's not your toy.

I will meet you yet again.

Perhaps as a

figment of your imagination.

spreading myself

A mysterious line,

on your canvas,

I will keep gazing at you.

I will meet you yet again.

How and where?

I know not.

I will meet you yet again.

So welcome Mr. and Mrs. Bhatia.

Enjoy your stay with us.

Thank you.

Hello.

One stuffed bread.

With butter.

Send extra curry.

Why don't you make yourself...

Compliment from the house, sir.

Thanks very much.

Thank you.

That's kind of you.

Ummm...

Left or right?

Always right.

In order to get in the pack...

...it's important to win...

The mating sessions are short,

but frequent.

Sometimes over 50 times,

a day.

Now Prince and Ziggy have begun to

court each other.

Another male lion coyly approaches

the female.

On our first night,

I told him clearly...

...if you want some action,

then take me to Switzerland.

Or else sleep on

the couch.

You're lucky your husband

isn't like mine.

If I give him that option...

...he'd definitely sleep on

the couch!

Don't start again.

Breakfast?

- Get some bread.

With butter?

Are you okay, child?

I'm not sure.

Haven't gotten over one relationship,

and I'm already in another.

Hey...

Take the bags from him!

Robbie is a strong man.

Yes.

Rumi's here.

She seems nervous.

Great. Drive slowly.

It's raining.

Go quickly.

She got into the backseat!

Does she think my son

is her driver?

Come, sit up front?

Drive safe.

At obscure crossroads, fate stands

Blankly, those eyes staring at me.

A half-hearted life, solemnly hangs

As estranged happinesses flee

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

On bended knees

and bowed head

I pray to you

in god's stead

Miles that separate us

This damaged faith

This remorse and regret

Everything said

with words inefficient

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

Our bereft lives have halted

as our faintest hope died.

Like crimson flowers

Nectarless inside

A windfall of woe

Forsaken and alone

We could've been Us,

but you nestled too distant.

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Doused in an instant !

My aunt gifted it...

...for our first night.

Are you sure?

Waiting for a call?

No.

Kashmiri tea, sir?

Tea?

No.

Sugar and..

What else?

Ohhh...

Ahhh...

You think you can

mess with me?

Ahhh...

Sorry!

I go overboard

sometimes.

With what?

My sense of humor.

This is your sense

of humor?

Yeah!

What do you do in

anger then?

Hello.

Hello, mom.

How's the honeymoon?

It's going well.

Having fun?

Yeah, it's fun.

Here, talk to papa.

Okay.

Robbie.

Hi, papa!

How's the honeymoon?

It's going well.

Having fun?

Yes, it's quite fun!

Good! Here, talk

to Rumi's aunt.

Rumi's here.

I'll pass the phone.

Your aunt

wants to talk.

Yes, aunty!

- Rumi.

How's the honeymoon?

Honeymoon's going good!

Having fun?

No. Not so much!

Actually, he forgot

to get condoms.

By the time he bought..

Hello.

There's some

network issue!

I have network here.

I can hear you just fine!

Hello.

What a ridiculous question!

"How's the honeymoon?"

Have I ever asked them

about their honeymoon?

Say hi to my friend!

Who's that?

She's my friend.

Say hi to my girlfriend.

Tell her how many times

we had fyaar!

Vicky, that's personal!

But wasn't it great?

Was what great?

- Our fyaar!

Will she hate

me now?

That's the only

way she'll move on.

Are you crazy?

I don't want her to hate me!

You want her to move on.

But you don't want her to hate you.

Why don't you ever

question me?

How was your run?

I didn't go for a run.

Okay.

I'm not a virgin.

Maybe you were

expecting one.

Most Indian men come

back so they can marry virgins.

I'm not one either.

Don't you want to know

who it was?

Are you okay?

Can we go back?

I'm done

with this place.

It rains all day anyway.

Hmmm.

Dear Lord!

Who is it?

What...

Came back so soon?

Greetings!

Take the keys.

Bless you!

Is she alright?

Is everything okay?

Some tea?

They got back from

their honeymoon so early.

The reservation was for two weeks.

They left halfway.

Why don't you two go

in their place?

You guys look like you need

a honeymoon!

Or go alone.

Like in that movie

'Queen'.

Maybe on that holiday,

you'll realize...

...that the man you've

spent your life with...

...was never the one!

Do you charge

to talk?

I'm sure you don't preach

for free.

Ask your husband

that question!

Is he getting paid

to shut up?

It's like he's taken

a vow of silence.

You don't get this

in London.

These pickles.

Dried crisps...

Robbie takes it

from home.

Once you learn to make

these pickles...

I can retire.

I'm going to the market.

For some marketing?

No. Just to kill time.

With whom?

With myself!

Where are the keys

to the scooter?

I'll come along.

Where are you going?

Then how will I get

time alone?

I'll go by myself.

Cousin has taken

the scooter.

What is she!

An atom bomb!

Be careful...

She might blow up on you.

I mean it.

Where is he?

- He's asleep.

Wake up.

Wake up!

Rumi...

This is for standing me up,

that night.

What's this one for?

You guess.

Stop pretending to "move on"

with Raja's girlfriend!

You're a loser!

Understand?

A loser!

You're delusional

if you think you let me go!

I dumped you!

You need to move on!

I don't!

I got over you,

a while ago.

And if you can't get

that through your head...

...I'll write it down

for you!

There!

Read it aloud!

"Rumi... "

"went... "

"on her own!"

Went where?

First crossfit.

Then keto diet

at Kesar Dhabha!

Keto is basically

Punjabi food.

Have you ever seen

a fat Punjabi..

Peanuts?

Oye!

Okay.

Tell me something...

Have you always been

a monk?

Tell me something...

Have you always

been a witch?

Sometimes monks

step out of their character.

But you are never out of

character, you witch!

Full.

Ever yelled at

the top of your lungs?

Like climbed the water tank,

and just yelled "Motherf -"

Have you?

Villagers!

Village people!

What happened?

The kids are warming up to

each other. You sleep.

Villagers!

Sorry! Again.

Go for it!'

- Yeah?

What's going on?

- She's two drinks down.

What!'

two drinks.

And Robbie.

He is four down!

Villagers!

Wait a minute.

Only one villager heard you.

- You motherf-

Don't abuse...your mom.

Hello! He was

calling out to you.

Goodnight.

Once more.

Ready, 1, 2, 3...

Friends, Romans, countrymen!

Romeo and Juliet want to

say something!

But no one's listening!

Go to sleep!

The kids have exams.

Hey...

Juliet wants to

commit suicide...

...and you're worried

about exams!

Shakespeare died ages ago!

These folks have no idea about

Romeo or Juliet or suicides!

Yes. Go. Live your life.

Losers win even after losing the game.

Oh my!

I'll never let go, Jack.

You won't understand.

Robbie!

Whatever!

Villagers!

Oh an airplane!

Bye, bye, plane.

Bye.

City folks!

Let's go to London

on that plane.

Let's go for a movie?

Just a month ago..

..male and female kids were born.

And they are going to

be included in the group now.

Female child's name is Alisha.

Alias..

Are you okay?

Male child's name is..

That is..

So you only

open up when you're drunk?

I don't know you that well.

What do you mean?

I know you what you look

like naked, but..

I still don't know if you like

fritters or fries.

They proudly enquire..

A female monkey is attracted

to the strongest male.

During the mating season,..

Do you like Kofte?

...the males display their strength.

Rainfall or snowfall?

Do you vote?

Do you scream when

you're angry?

Do you have

your National ID?

In the winters,

do you keep the fan on?

Do you pay taxes?

Do you smoke secretly?

Why secretly?

I smoke openly.

Ohh...

Fritters.

With hot tea.

I'll make you an offer

you can't refuse!

I never make a second offer,

once you refuse the first.

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' girl, your companionship

appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,

pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,

seizes me

Oceans churn within a river,

like a dance

"Like a dance..."

Cities swing enchanted,

in a trance

Colours of a rainbow,

that are spread amiss

Colours of a rainbow,

that are spread amiss

You and I,

entangled in a butterfly kiss.

I fly, fly away,

a kite undeterred,

Painted in love

with the colours stirred

Within my heart,

Within my being,

are playing tunes unheard

O friends, I'm flying,

a freebird

In this sweetest battles

of glances blurred

For the shortest separation,

now seems absurd !

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' girl, your companionship

appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,

pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,

seizes me

Warriors abandon wars

as they prance !

Seasons swing enchanted,

in a trance

Colours of a rainbow,

that are spread amiss

You and I,

entangled in a butterfly kiss.

Hello.

Why?

Where?

Right now?

I've realized my mistake.

I didn't have the courage to

face your family.

But today, I told

Mr. Robbie about us.

I can't live without you.

We're meant to be together.

I want to stay

in this marriage.

So do I.

I want to stay

in this marriage too.

Then why are we

discussing this?

Discussion is a good thing.

Look...

I don't want us

to separate.

But what about Vicky?

What about him?

It's his problem!

This is your anger talking.

Rumi.

Vicky does what he does

because...

You empower him.

I can ignore him.

Can you?

Until you learn to

to ignore him...

I can't either.

Nor can I stop him.

Because honestly...

...it's not my place.

So...think over it.

If you still want to be with him

- I don't want to.

There's no rush.

What did he tell you?

Nothing I didn't already know.

He just...filled in

some blanks.

I'd decided a while ago that

I want to be with you.

Are you convincing me?

Or yourself?

Take your time.

I don't need time.

I want to be with you.

Do you love me?

With time, I will!

I've already begun to like you.

I'll fall in love too.

Still...

Take your time.

I don't need to make

a choice!

I made my decision when

I married you.

Stop trying to be

a martyr!

Sacrificing love!

If you're so eager to

become a saint, then..

Okay.

You know...

...you can tell me

anything, right?

Anything at all.

Okay.

Okay stop your nonsense.

It's making me want fyaar.

Fyaar?

Switch off the lights!

Why?

Either switch off the lights,

or shut your eyes.

What do you want?

What is wrong with you?

Why did you tell him

everything?

I won't back out

this time!

I'll fight the world

for you.

I live with him!

- You don't have to!

Why can't you

understand!

Listen!

You'll find someone..

But I want you.

I can't get you

out of my mind!

There's no fyaar

with anyone else.

No matter where

I try to escape to...

I only find my happiness on

your terrace, your streets, with you!

Tell me, what do I do?

If you can't be with me,

then kill me!

Kill me and

get this over with!

I can't live like this!

Rumi, you

can count on me.

I'm here this time.

For good!

How will I face him?

You don't have to say

anything.

No one will know

if you don't tell.

Hi.

What happened?

Rumi.

It's okay.

Take your time.

It's okay.

Look at me,

My vexed heart, stupefied

I want to live this life,

with you by my side

For slightest whim of yours,

this world, I shall sacrifice.

It is only you,

for whom I yearn

These colours of love,

shan't fade or burn,

I'm adamant , you and I, live

forever with love and laughter

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' boy, your companionship

appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,

pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,

seizes me

This mystic heart swings,

upon a single glance,

"Dances..."

The poet within me,

indulged in a platonic dance

"Dances..."

Why aren't you

taking Vicky's calls?

Or replying to his texts?

He thought

everything is resolved!

But you aren't talking

to him again.

He's drinking night and day.

Please talk to him once.

Who are you?

Who's this man?

Murmuring in my ear

constantly.

What do you need, sir?

Call me back!

I'm dying here.

Please meet me once!

I'm begging you.

I was thinking of

stopping by our shop.

It's been awhile.

Should I drop you there?

It's okay.

I'll take a rickshaw.

No one's home.

Why did you

stop taking my calls?

I told you we're done.

Don't do it.

Don't do it!

If you want me to stop,

then ask me to stop.

I said stop!

Can't you hear me!

You wanted to talk, right?

Then talk.

You keep pouncing on me!

Rumi, last time when

- What last time?

Last time was

my mistake!

Listen...

If I hadn't married Robbie...

I wouldn't have stopped you.

- As long as you stay married...

...you'll keep making

this mistake!

Tell me something.

When your Robbie

makes love to you...

...do you close your eyes

and imagine me?

Or do you look into his eyes?

A wounded heart bleeding,

Crumbling homes of broken love.

As I fall into the abyss,

With teary eyes, I retreat.

This heart echoes

with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched

with shadows gleam

Love's pious and pure,

though dirty it may seem,

A callous, wet hem,

neither hope, nor a dream

While my heart echoes

with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched

with shadow gleams

Whose syllable fell,

agape and unseen

Whose syllable fell,

agape and unseen

"Love.."

This heart echoes

with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched

with shadows gleam

Love's pious and pure,

though dirty it may seem,

A callous, wet hem,

neither hope, nor a dream

While my heart

whispers silent screams

Poems of love fell,

agape and unseen

Those syllable fell,

agape and unseen

"Love.."

Broken wings of murky night

Forlorn, hurt with that sight

Rainbows jaded by this smite

Laughters swayed by this slight

Broken wings of murky night

Forlorn, hurt with that sight

Rainbows jaded by this smite

Laughters swayed by this slight

My heart echoes

with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched

with shadow gleams

"Unrequited love."

You could've told me

you'll be late.

I was waiting for you.

I waited up,

last night too.

You could've just

told me...

You could've told me...

You still imagine him

when you close your eyes.

You could've told me...

...that you still haven't forgotten

his touch.

You deserve him.

You're perfect

for each other.

He can't stand up for you,

you can't stand up for yourself.

Neither of you have

anything better to do...

...than keep going

back and forth!

You feed off each other!

You make me sick.

You still have a choice.

I'd said that to you.

And I gave you that choice...

...because I love you.

Very-very much.

But your lies...

Destroyed everything!

I...

- Don't.

Just...

Next time, when you need

to go see him...

Take the car.

Don't go in

a rickshaw or on a bike.

With your

face hidden like a thief!

I'm sorry about

last night.

I overstepped.

Rumi.

I don't want to stay

in this marriage.

We haven't

registered it yet.

So legally it shouldn't

be a problem.

So, you want to

end this?

This was never

a marriage.

You don't have to worry.

You won't have to take

the blame.

Anyway, there

are many Indian men...

...who come from

London or Canada to marry a virgin.

And disappear after

the honeymoon.

They'll assume I'm one

of them.

Have you lost your mind?

This is not a game.

Marry today,

separate tomorrow!

You're not playing

with your dollhouse.

This is a marriage.

That ...

S...

Sandhus's son...

Is he the reason?

So what?

She is your wife.

These affairs are

all forgotten in time.

You'll get over it.

Son..

Son...

I thought...

...you'd pull through.

I tried, dad!

We tried our best

to counsel them.

But they had already decided

to separate.

It's their life.

Water purifier.

Last one.

You had gifted 21 dresses.

20 of them are in the suitcase

and she's wearing one.

This is embarrassing.

Annulment requires you

to return the gifts.

I need to keep a paper trail

for legal matters.

Should I make you

some tea?

I can make some.

Some other time.

If I stay for tea now...

When your luggage

comes back from London...

I'll bring it here.

Our girl has finally

become a woman.

When will your boy

become a man?

Don't worry, uncle.

I'll get a proper look.

No more hair tattoos.

Hi!

I've...

...called the salon.

Robbie came home with your luggage.

Get rid of the colors.

Definitely!

- Get a proper job.

Actually, we'd got

this done together...

So yes, I mean,

I'll get rid of the colors.

For you I left the world behind,

I tried to to stop myself,

But my heart's made up its mind

I tried to to stop myself,

But my heart's made up its mind

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

If luck is not on your side,

then call 564322 (TandC apply).

Crying out for you,

My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

My cousin Tony

lives in Sydney.

He runs a cab company.

- Tony who?

Tony is my sister's son.

So you'll work as

a cab driver?

No! Not a cab driver.

He has like 25 odd cabs.

- Serve them first.

- He's managing it all alone.

I'll help him run

his business.

And whenever I can,

I'll DJ.

So you'll drive cabs.

No, uncle.

A cab company!

We'll have cab drivers

working for us!

Tony and I will supervise

and manage the company.

But I won't sit idle.

That's the plan.

Can Vicky and I have our tea

on the terrace?

Vicky you aren't ready

for marriage.

What?

You were right.

I was wrong.

You aren't ready to

get married.

What happened?

You know, I hit the jackpot!

That you

were my first love.

For me, there'll never be another...

...like you.

If someone can't see how

special you are...

Then they're blind.

But...

...you aren't

husband material.

"Husband material"?

What does this mean?

You want to go

back to him.

If wanting was enough,

life would be simple.

But I'm responsible now.

I'll work hard.

I won't let you down this time.

You need to let me go.

Let go.

We're better off as friends.

What will marriage do

for us?

You'll own me,

I'll own you.

Why should we tie each

other down?

You should go

to Australia.

Find a new life.

I've just begun

to understand myself.

Only God knows

what's in store for me!

I'm not even sure if there's

anything for me.

Why do my eyes deceive me so?

Why am I unable to let you go?

Oh, why do we doubt

this love of ours,

Twisting and turning hour after hour

"Yes..."

You are my spirit,

You are my being

You are everything.

Tomorrow we get anulled.

Rumi and I.

Everyone's been saying...

"It was only an

arranged marriage."

"Barely a couple of weeks in.

Try again."

Settling down is very important.

I'm not promising that...

...we'll fall in love.

We really don't know.

Yes.

I promise not to

cheat on you.

I won't lie either.

Honestly, I just...

...wanted to tell you everything

about Rumi.

Yeah, you've told me

everything.

About Rumi.

Do you want to ask

me anything?

What's my name?

There's no rush.

Take your time.

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Crying out for you,

My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,

Like a river that winds

Sorry Kakaji!

I'm late, I know.

Hello!

This way ...

Kakaji got you another

proposal already?

Congratulations.

When's the wedding?

Why didn't Vicky come

with you?

He moved to Australia.

Read it once.

Groom's family has

to return the dowry.

Done.

They have to pay for the

expenses incurred too.

That's also done.

Alright! Just sign

and the marriage is annulled.

Does she play hockey?

Please sign!

- Give them a minute.

Let them have a moment.

She's a doctor.

A dentist.

She did my root canal.

It didn't hurt at all!

They're the most respected dentist

family in town.

Sir. Another case is her.

Does she ride a bike?

Yes.

Wait man!

Can't you see?

They're having a moment!

No.

All the best.

How are

you going home?

It's close by.

I'll walk.

I'll walk you.

I've heard it rains quite a bit

in London.

I like rainfall over snowfall.

I've voted in the last two

elections.

Each time, I promise myself...

...that if we end up with

a useless government...

...I won't vote

ever again.

But I guess I will.

I have my National ID.

But I haven't linked it

to my accounts yet.

They spam my inbox

with reminders.

It pisses me off!

And whenever

I get angry...

I eat really spicy

paani puris!

In the winters ...

I keep the fan on,

but get cozy under my blanket.

My parents died early.

So I manipulate everyone

to get my way.

Later, I cry alone

in my room.

I can be

melodramatic!

I don't like Kofte!

But I can devour

yogurt dumplings!

I'm the witch!

But when Grandpa says that

my penalty hits are like dad's ...

...I melt completely.

In here.

I was the first guy in

our group ...

...to kiss a girl.

9th Grade!

Behind the water cooler.

Her name was Kanika.

The day she was

getting married ...

...she wanted

a goodbye kiss.

I kissed her but ...

But her aunt saw us.

That was the day ...

I broke all

the long jump records!

From her terrace

to her neighbor's!

I was 24 when

I had a car accident.

The car was totaled

but I was safe.

Karan lost his leg.

He uses a prosthetic leg now.

Karan is my best friend.

Since then

I've been a monk.

But...

I step out of character

when I'm around you.

He lives in London too?

He's already opened

my Tinder account.

Vicky and I

met on Tinder too.

You know how they suggest

profiles based on proximity.

His profile popped up.

Swiped right

as soon as I saw him.

Haven't used Tinder since

that day.

We deleted the app

from each other's phones.

Tell me something.

If you knew about Vicky,

then why did you marry me?

When you already had Vicky

in your life ...

Why did you agree?

Because I was angry.

I would've married anybody.

And I wanted to take

advantage of that.

Why?

Because I liked you a lot.

Liked me or

found me hot?

First, I found you hot.

Then I liked you.

It was the exact

opposite for you.

First, I liked you.

What kind of girl

were you looking for?

Someone who doesn't ride bikes,

or play hockey.

But here you had

bikes, hockey...

And a Vicky!

And you still married me.

Yes.

Are you crazy?

Yes.

Sorry. I mean

you were crazy!

I still am.

So why

did you break up?

I thought I could deal

with Vicky.

I couldn't.

Was it when you

saw us together?

When...

He asked you a question...

...that you couldn't answer.

Which question?

"Do you..."

"...close your eyes

and imagine him.."

"..or open them and

look at me?"

What could I have said?

If I'd told him the truth,

he wouldn't have let me go.

And I didn't want to lie.

So I kept quiet.

But now, when I close

my eyes...

...I don't see him anymore.

Bye.

The next time you're in town,

I'll show you my penalty hit.

Did you deactivate your Facebook?

Or block me?

Send me a

friend request again.

I'll accept it.

By the way, we still have two

complimentary breakfasts...

...pending in Kashmir.

I am painted by your colors,

now and forever

I am flying away with you,

now and forever

I yield in to whims with you,

As your heart desires

Take me wherever with you,

As your heart desires

Share your dreams with me,

As your heart desires

All your wishes flying free

As your heart desires

Pockets of Love-prayers

Accepted, take me higher

Disobey the ways of this world

As this heart desires

"You're in my heart."

"You're in my thought."

"You've obliged me."

"I can never forget."

"I'm all yours."

"Your personality has impressed me."

"My desires.."

"..are linked with you."

"Desires are linked with you."

"I will tolerate all your tantrums.

As your heart desires."

"I will smile whenever you say.

As your heart desires."

"I will feel proud of your love.

As your heart desires."

"I will adorn as your heart desires."

Pockets of Love-prayers

Accepted, take me higher

Disobey the ways of this world

As this heart desires

Husband Material (2018) - full transcript