Husband Material (2018) - full transcript

Neither black nor white,
so they say,

Hue of our love,
is in shades of grey!

Times have changed,
so has love's trait

Old fashioned love stories,
need an update

This bundled playful love
Spices roving romantic flavour

This bundled playful love
Is now called a mutual favour

This bundled playful love...

If we ever err to hurt another

Apologies wouldn't be needed

Blooming love shall be acceded
Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Outsoaring love shall breathe !



Logic isn't her cup of tea
Calm and restful she'll never be

Her heart sways, havocs wreak
Newer tantrums as we speak

It's an unsettled craze,

Mood of our love
unabashed in it's ways!

This bundled playful love
Spices roving romantic flavour

This bundled playful love
Is now called a mutual favour

This bundled playful love...

When our tug of war,
is of sweetest flair

The tangy flavour,
seeps in your care !

Blooming love shall be acceded

Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Blooming love shall be acceded

Colours shall blossom unheeded !

Let me show you!



Do you think I forgot?

This is how it's done!

Hue of our love,
is in shades of grey!

Hue of our love,
is in shades of grey!

"HUSBAND MATERIAL"

Rumi.

Rumi!

Like this...

...and fold here.

Rumi!

Open the door.

- Rumi! Open the
-O Dear Lord!

Stop banging the door.

You just sit there
to sunbathe!

Didn't you see them
sneak inside?

Let it be, mom!

Don't get me riled up!
Come here!

Are you guys deaf?
Open the damn door!

Damn this old age!

See!

The door isn't just latched,
it's blocked by a chair!

It's that Sandhu's son
from next door.

He's been terrace-hopping
for a year!

Making fools of us!
But not today!

But, child...

...she told me she'd be
practicing her dance routine.

Or maybe the door
is swollen!

Yeah right!
No rain, nor sleet.

So how did the door swell up?

Because it's
old and worn out.

Call..
- No one is calling anyone!

You better move aside! Today,
I'm going to catch them red-handed.

Move aside both of you!

Rumi!

What are you doing?

One

Two.

You...

Stop, you...!

Wait...

There you go!
Didn't I tell you?

This peacock
sneaks in every day!

"Save yourself."

"Escape now."

"You heartthrob."

"Watch out."

Your t-shirt is
inside-out.

"Listen."

"Do as it is said."

"Do as it is said."

"This youth.."

"..is to be blamed."

Hey, mom!
Did you hear?

That girl next door girl,
eloped with her boyfriend...

...and had a love-marriage!

But then, within a month...

...he dumped her
for another girl!

There's no guarantee of love
in love-marriages.

I should leave now.

But we guarantee love in
arranged-marriages!

Leave like a gentleman.

Through the front door.

And our next song for our young friends.

This next song goes out to all
the young lovers!

Who want "Fyaar" over love.

F for Fyaar!

F for Fyaar.

F for Fyaar.

So what!

F for Fyaar.

"Love is life."

Walk!
- "Love is happiness."

"There's nothing without love."

"Love is permanent."

"There's nothing without love."

"Love is punishment."

"Love is fun."

"There's nothing without love."

Oye! Vicky!

Bike is parked on the other side!
Should I bring it around?

Hello, uncle!

Tell him to bring your bike
to the front!

"There's nothing without love."

Hello, grandfather!

Bring my bike to the front!

Umm...

The shop front?
Or the statue front?

Okay!

Don't let me see you
here again!

We're a hockey family!

We play off-the-field
as well.

They've setup a court
downstairs.

Your case should be heard
any moment.

Dad! Rumi's affair...

...is hurting our reputation!

Rumi! Come down!

She doesn't listen to us!

She only listens
to you!

Rumi!

Come down!

She's screwed this time!

Rumi?

Rumi, mom's coming upstairs.

They're going to beat
the shit out of you!

You'll be screwed if
they catch you again!

Please come out!

If my aunt catches us again,
she's going to kill you!

That doesn't scare me!

Please leave! I promise
twice the 'fyaar' next time!

You are just ...!

Rumi! What are you upto?

Not those dumbbells again!
- 30.

I've called out to you
so many times! - 31.

Her parents would've been
ashamed if they were alive today.

The entire town is talking
about these two.

They are the only
weirdos here.

That peacock!
And our Red Fairy!

Who'll want to marry into a
dishonored family?

I have a daughter too!

Kimmy! Calm down.

She also made her
quit hockey.

She'd be playing
Nationals by now.

I had to pull this information
out of Kiran ...

...that she ran away from
the national camp with him.

Enough!
It's time to get her married.

Alright.

Let's call the wedding agent.

To find Rumi an alliance.

I'm only going to
marry Vicky!

I won't even offer a cup of tea
to anyone else.

He isn't interested in
marrying you.

If he was, he wouldn't
come through the terrace!

What else can he do!

You're always guarding
the door.

Even a cat can't sneak inside,
let alone a human!

Shut up for a minute!

Will his family come
with a marriage proposal for you?

And if he doesn't ...

...then the wedding agent
will find you a groom.

If Vicky doesn't come
tomorrow to meet you ...

...then I'll marry the first idiot
you find me!

And I didn't quit Hockey
for him.

Some conservatives killed
a woman hockey player.

That's why!

What are you thinking?

If my mom and dad
were alive ...

...your mom wouldn't dare talk
down to me like this.

It's all luck!

All these DJs making it to
the billboards!

All you need is that
one chartbuster.

And I'll be playing to packed stadiums
and earning billions!

Check this out.

Cut.

No, dude!
It needs to be ...

It needs to be more ...!

More...

I can't get over this fever.

F for Fyaar.

I want love.

Get ready now.

Don't make excuses.

My car's parked outside.
We'll escape.

You are hot.

F for Fyaar.

F for Fyaar.

Hey...

Hey! Rumi!

Will you marry me?

Why not?

Only a fool would say
no to you!

I don't want to marry
anyone else.

Will you marry me?

Of course, I will!

Okay.

Get your dad to talk to
my grandfather, tomorrow!

My dad?

Of course! Who else?

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

What's up?

But dad might be ...

That's alright.
Bring your mom then.

You can jump over terraces
for 'Fyaar'.

You can take a beating
for it.

But you can't ask for
my hand in marriage?!

But, Rumi!

This is so sudden
- Yeah, it's sudden

I've given my word that
you'll come with a proposal.

And that if you don't turn up ...

...I'll marry the first idiot
they choose for me!

What!

You know I've never
gone back on my word.

Now you decide.

And listen!

Call me only if you're
coming tomorrow!

If not ...
delete my number!

Hey...

Yonex is a brand for racquets.

Jonex is a brand for
hockey sticks.

Don't mix "Y" with "J"!

J for Jalandar.

And the best brand for
hockey is '"Rakshak"'.

But isn't Yonex the best international
brand for hockey?

It's famous worldwide.

You're mixing
"Y" and "J" again.

I've told you
a million times already.

Best brands for hockey are
Jonex and Vampire.

Quit hockey!
Go play cricket!

Quit sports and do yoga!

What?

Are you coming home?

Rumi!
Atleast hear me out!

Die!

Rumi.

What did I get into!

Your attitude will cost
us this business!

Save your business!
I'll go.

I'm going to take a walk.
I'll be back soon.

Sorry, madam.

Add more spice!

I've been eating here
for years.

And you still don't know my taste!

If I make it spicier,
your mouth will be on fire.

I want that fire!

I want to burn down your shop.
I'm a dragon!

Rumi.

I'm not ready for marriage!

I need time.

I've just started
as a DJ..

- You don't need time
when you're aroused.

You fire your gun in under
a minute.

You should join
the army!

Atleast you'll
be useful to the country!

Get lost!
- What is this nonsense?

You know I love you!

If you did, you'd
come home to talk.

But we never wanted
marriage!

But I have to now!

You can't decide for
both of us!

That's why ...I'm not holding you
at gunpoint!

I was confident of your love,
is why I gave my word...

...that you'll
marry me.

If we hadn't been caught,
I wouldn't have insisted.

But we did
get caught.

That's why I need you
to bail me out!

Before I get a life-sentence
with someone else.

I don't get it!

You never get it.
Dumb idiot!

You're being
unfair to me!

Oh and you're not?
Get lost!

I won't!

Leave or I'll send you home
in a wheelchair!

I won't budge until you talk
some sense!

As you wish!

What the...!
- We've a thief in the shop!

What are you doing?

Who is it?

Don't you mess with me!

Get lost.

Rummi.

Hello, uncle!

I'll marry...

...whoever you chose!

This one!

So you've short-listed
three girls.

Yes.

It's a best of three then.

Sadly you can marry
only one of them.

Yes.

Say hello to my missus.

Ours was an
arranged marriage too.

Yeah, he had a sweet shop ...

Fed sweets to my parents and
now I'm stuck!

Hello.

Yes, sir?

For whom?

Groom for our Rumi?

That's wonderful.

Send me some photos
for her profile.

Yes.

I'll find her the
perfect match.

Sir! So far...

I have arranged 99
marriages successfully.

Our Rumi will
complete my century!

I want a divorce!

Feed me 'Kofte'
and I might consider it.

I won't even call my lawyer
after eating this Gourd!

Hey Robbie!

Hello.

Let's tie his turban.

There he is!

See! He's still wearing
his turban.

How are you, son?

Had a good flight?
- Give me a hug.

The Agent has lined up
so many girls for you.

You get to pick and choose
your bride.

We'll take all the time
in the world...

...and shortlist a dozen
prospective brides.

I don't need a dozen.

One is enough.

If you didn't want choices then why
ask us to arrange it?!

Even your dad had shortlisted about
ten before he chose me!

The girl should feel
like the "chosen one".

Don't worry.

Arranged marriages, these days ...

... are quite modern.

Once the proposal is confirmed...

... the society allows them
to watch adult films together.

Okay! Let's settle.

We'll shortlist around
4-5 girls?

Haven't met
a single girl, yet ...

... and you've already
started your soap opera.

What soap opera?

You don't get into this!

Please put
those dumbbells aside?

She'll seem like a wrestler!

Even you!
Move out of the frame!

Do you want to
change your sneakers?

Is he going to marry me ...
or my shoes?

Maybe something
more feminine?

Get it.

Let the wind flow,
Let the storm bellow

Knead the feelings like a dough
-Take the ball and just throw !

Shouts from the rooftops
Dances as the beat drops

Take positions atop
Her goal's a drag flick shop

Pretty face, Shiny shoes

Whatch'a lookin' at,
Dhyanchand (Hockey Legend)?

Blackest eyes, sexy view
Whatch'a lookin' at, Dhyanchand?

Whatch'a lookin' at, Dhyanchand?

Whatch'a lookin' at, Dhyanchand?

Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, this girl's
crazy Footloose, free and easy !

Angry and not-so-gaiety
She's confused and dazey.

Her heart goes round n round
It takes a plunge and drowns

In this ocean of love
Time's on merry-go-round!

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

She'd be whimsy,
She'd be kooky

If she's in the mood
She'd kick your ass !

Don't go near her
Just step aside and run

She'll shoot you point blank
A pump-action shotgun

Her soul is pure, talks like a saint
Whatch'a looking at, Dhyanchand?

Pretty face, devil's acquaint
Whatch'a looking at, Dhyanchand?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

State level hockey player,
and owns a sports shop!

Her parents played
hockey too.

One of the most respectable
sports families of town!

Her grandfather is
a coach too.

And this is Lovely Singh.

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

She's my relative.

A dentist!

She put this gold
cap for me!

She's pretty!

One of the most respectable
dentist families in Amritsar!

Wherever she goes,
insanity's embossed

If she kickstarts,
won't stop at any cost.

Don't ask me, why's she so awesome?
She enjoys a century, the pole position.

Tangy talks, fickle moves
Whatch'a looking' at Dhyanchand

Pretty face, Shiny shoes
Whatch'a looking' at Dhyanchand

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

No, bro!

I'm sorry!
Please let it go!

Whatch'a looking at,
Dhyanchand ?

Get lost!

Go die!
- I'm leaving!

Get lost!
- Fine, I'll go.

Fine!

Damn these two lovebirds!

Wait.

I'm the one sandwiched
between them.

Vicky, please!

This guy is giving me
a headache.

Vicky is slitting his wrist.

Here! Talk to him.

See for yourself.

Can you see it?

Vicky, stop!
Oh my God, blood!

You call that slitting?

Ask him to learn from
a Youtube tutorial.

Or I'll come
slit his throat.

Tell her to turn down
the proposal or...

... this blade
goes deeper!

Why should I turn
it down?

He'll never come
with a proposal.

Trying to ruin my
potential wedding!

I'll come!

You will?

Yes. I will.

Brother!

Listen to me.

That hockey-girl suits you!

Shut up!

Chop those vegetables.

I'm doing that!

The other girl, Lovely ...

...she's quite homely!

And this Rumi ...

... she's got a bad reputation.

That Lovely has cat eyes!

She'll claw you.

It was on Crime Show,
just last night ...

A girl stabbed and robbed
her mother-in-law.

Even she had cat eyes.
- Stop your nonsense!

Fine. Don't listen to me!

Ignore the truth.

Did I ask for
your opinion?

But I -
- I'll beat you!

But I'm family too!

Can you ever shut up?

If nonsense was taxable,
you'd pay the most!

For that, you need
to pay me first!

Here! Take the peas.

Pass it.

You need to peel
more peas.

Why? You cooking for
entire colony?

You alone eat for
a hundred people!

Damn you! Want to
jinx my good health now?

Don't be so dramatic.
- I'll beat you!

Whatever.

If you want to marry
that troublemaker...

...then book me a room
at an 'ashram'!

You..
- Don't you dare say a word!

How did you deduce...

...that she's trouble?

I can count the feathers
on a flying dove!

She's just a girl.

Look at her hair!

And her eyes.

Trouble written all over.

Just let me choose.

Let me choose...

... and you'll see!

Are you going to live
with her or am I?

For God's sake!

Don't impose your
daughter-in-law fantasies on me!

Just because you were rejected
by five families...

...when you were getting married...

...doesn't mean I need
to reject five!

Listen...

I agreed to
an arranged marriage.

I didn't agree to
window shop for brides.

I don't want a maid...

...neither an escort
... nor a nurse.

I want my life-partner!

So let me decide!

Chant loudly.

Hail Goddess!

Hello, Mrs. Bhatia!

He is stuck on that
hockey-girl.

None of the others?

None!

Okay?

The dentist?

He's hooked on to
the hockey-girl!

Rumi, that hockey player...

...did you do her
background check?

Everyone knows...?
What?

DJ?

Sandhu's son?

Her DJ affair is over.

Rumi, herself, asked us
to find a husband.

Kakaji ...

I trust
my granddaughter.

She'll never dishonour
the family.

You know how it is...

The market trusts me.

A marriage arranged
by Kakaji ...

...is unbreakable!

I wanted to kill you ...

...when you agreed to an
arranged marriage!

When I had to go to the
abortion clinic ...

...alone in a rickshaw ...

I wanted to kill you, too!

I was stuck
somewhere that day!

You're always stuck somewhere!
- Yes, I am!

Either you're stuck
with your family...

...or your crappy gigs!

Or you're buying groceries
for your mum!

Listen...

I want to be
glued to you...

...forever.

We don't need to be
married for that.

Fine by me.

When do I move in?

Let's elope.

I'll go wherever
with you.

I can't be
without you.

I don't want to
make love in bits and pieces.

I want to make love
under the stars...

drenched in sweat!

Keep going on for...

two... three... four
or-

-gasms!

I swear...

...then we don't need to
leave the bedroom ever!

Right?

Let's elope!

Right now?

Not now!

My mom's cooking
for me today.

YOUR MOM

But...

...we can elope tomorrow.

Sure?

Sure!

Where are you going?

Take care
of yourself!

Oh man!

Atleast turn the lights off!

Sweet n Spicy she's zesty
She's tango, she's charlie

Woo her now or be nasty
She won't concur nor parley

She's destruction personified
Argues like a suicide squad.

Save yourself, just run and hide
Here comes the thunder god.

"Here comes the thunder god."

Did you bring money?

I have some.

Why?

You didn't bring any?

I forgot my wallet!

Calls to the battalion

Airforces or stallions

She fires away...
like a nuke-missile

Calls to the battalion

Where are we going?

What?

I asked, where are
we going?

Who knows! We'll see!

Like a nuke-missile

What will we do?

We'll figure!

How will we live?

We'll manage.

I'm a DJ and you can
sell hockey sticks.

We'll manage!

Stop the jeep.

Stop what?

The damn jeep!

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

We're eloping!

How much gas does
your jeep have?

There's enough.

It was filled just
the day before ...

...by yours truly!

And where are
you taking me "yours truly"?

Wherever you want!

Take me to Mumbai.
Got enough gas for that?

Why not Birmingham?

We can either make it
to Shimla or Delhi.

Shimla or Delhi?
- What?

Shimla? Or Delhi?

I guess Delhi!

Sure?

Maybe.

And if...
maybe we reach Delhi ...

How'll we survive?

You bloody imposter DJ!

With your borrowed hairstyle!

Have you ever made
one original track?

Always stealing other
people's music!

Do you see me carrying
hockey sticks to sell?

All I'm asking is...

...if we reach Delhi

...how will
we survive?

I...

We'll find something
to sell!

Why not your organs?

Your kidney and liver
on discount!

Why are you yelling?

Didn't you ask to elope!

Yes, I did!

To run away
with you!

No matter where!

Because I thought you
had it planned!

Where we'll live!
What we'll eat or do!

And if you had no clue
then you should have...

...asked me to plan!

Then I could've
decided for us!

Either you take
all the responsibility...

...or leave it to me...

...else, we can share it!

Vicky, you're potentially
a great guy...

...but you shit in the
name of responsibility.

For once
make me believe...

..that I can...

...count on you!

Rumi, you can
count on me!

I did what
you asked!

I don't understand
responsibility!

I didn't have time to
think through!

And all those awful things
that you said ...

...you shouldn't have.

Even if it's the truth!

Especially about
my music!

You totally
destroyed me!

I've always been the same guy.
Why pick on it now!

I didn't get
it then!

And I still don't get it!

Does that make me
the bad guy?

I'm not ready to
take responsibility...

And that's why
I can't marry you!

That doesn't mean
I don't love you!

The love that I give ...

...and the love
that we make, Rumi ...

No one can beat that!

Go marry
your responsible guy.

He'll keep you safe,
like a doll...

...in his showcase!

But won't jump terraces
to make love to you....

...when you're aroused!!

And if we don't do it
twice a day ...

...you'll burn down
the city!

That's who you are!

She won't submit or concede
Break-failed Jeep in top speed

21 gun salute, fired for her
Equals to infantry's breed.

People often do complain
Her demented likeness to a clown

Do not underestimate her !
She's a lunatic from our hometown !

Dulcet, vibrant like our films,

Singers singing our folk songs

She comes in laughter, smiles
and her frowns

Who's there?

Go back to work!

Vicky?

Go away!

Stop, you dog!

Now tell me!

Who'll take this responsibilty?

So what should I do?

Fight for us.

With what weapon?

Ask me!

Come home
and meet my family!

We can marry
whenever you're ready!

But...let's get engaged!

You dog.

Leave me, you dog.

You dog!

Get off.

Somebody get this
bull off me!

Hello!
Please have some sweets!

Here! Distribute it.

He's coming home
to talk of marriage!

Where were you?
- I'd run away!

With your bags?
- Weightlifting.

Tomorrow, the groom's family...

...will be here at 4 pm!

I was about to...

...call you!

Okay.

I'm slightly ashamed
but I'll be honest.

Rumi has agreed to
another proposal.

So... we have
to turn down your client!

You've really embarrassed
the whole family.

Especially your grandfather.

That man has never gone
back on his word.

It's okay!

There's always a first time
for everything!

Do you have no shame?

I chose my happiness
over shame!

And do you know that....

..."Shame" is often what leads
to suicide.

If my father were alive
- Don't dare manipulate me!

You know that friend
of Rumi's...

Yes.

...he wants to marry her.

And ...even Rumi wants to
marry him.

You gave me your word.

And I took you for it.

And what should I
tell my client?

That you've backed out?

I gave them a guarantee!

My credibility is at stake!

Why can't you just
decide for once!

And when I do,
should I call or text?

Eight years ago, another client
had gone back on his word.

I've been limping since.

Now, my other leg
is your responsibility.

Yes.

Rumi.

I need to talk to you.

I can't today.
I've to get my hair done.

You can do that later.

Meet me!

I'm not doing it for you!

My friend is getting
engaged tonight.

Hi-class, hip, rad - kinda like a wiz
Eight packs tight abs hoodlum he is

A free soul, keeps flying
like a jail bird College dropout..

...rich, spoilt brat he is

Well-cultured and mannered...

...a perfect beget Kinda like
a dirty drink and a game of roulette

Go, now, go,
Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars
under a mistletoe,

Go now go,
get me a ring aglow

Mr. Priest, align our stars
under a mistletoe !

I'd also go
for the Hockey player.

Good-looking, simple girls
are aplenty.

Tell that to mom!

Life gets boring
with an easy-going girl.

This one's a
roller-coaster!

She'll pull you slow...

... and drop you fast.

Throw you in a spiral!

Safety's not guaranteed!

In banking...

...even we don't
guarantee safe returns!

For my criminal beau,
dowry's a crime

For my criminal beau,
dowry's a crime

Except a mansion, a fancy car,
a briefcase full of cash.

Except a mansion, a fancy car,
a briefcase full of cash.

Simple and naive,
like a wind-chime

Simple and naive,
like a wind-chime

Divorced only thrice,
Ends marriage in a flash!

Divorced only thrice,
Ends marriage in a flash!

But he's soft-spoken!
Honest, ethical and open!

Often a gangster at heart,
A SOB that's woken !

Go, now, go,
Get me my beau !

Was mum the roller coaster?
Or easy one?

Your mum definitely
wasn't the easy one.

What do you think?

Those five guys
wanted to reject her?

I made them do that!

Kiran, listen!
- Yes?

Dust that sofa and
change the covers!

That corner too!
Kiran.

Don't miss any spots!

Madam, money?
- Yes.

Just a second.

Make sure the veggies
are fresh.

Or I'll take my money back!

Pick up that bucket.
And you leave for the market.

Yes.

I'm getting ready! You guys get ready
and make sure Rumi is too!

Okay!

Go, now, go,
Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars
under a mistletoe.

Go, now, go,
Get me my beau !

Mr. Priest, align our stars
under a mistletoe.

Grandpa!

The number you're trying
to call is not reachable.

Please call again later.

He's two hours late.
And his phone is switched off !

He should've atleast
called to cancel!

Kiran, turn off the stove!

Yes.

Our first option
is slightly busy !

This one ...

We can meet her.
Lovely Singh Kriplani.

She's pretty !

Let's meet
the available girl now

And we'll see about...

She did a root canal for me!
Twice !

Ah yes!

See!

Both her parents
are dentists.

Wow!
- And they own a hospital.

Most respectable dentist family
in town !

Yes.

Well...

You never know when things
might change ...

So I'm always ready with
three options.

You shouldn't complain later
that I didn't give you options!

Oh! Cm'on!

Personally ...

... the first one plays
hockey all day.

Rides a bike like boys.

And is disrespectful.

For real?
- Yes!

This one is pretty.

A doctor!

Lovely !

Yes.

She made pickles
for my wife.

Oh wow !

What do hockey players...

... know about pickles!

Anyday I'd
choose this one!

Where is he?

He went towards
your house!

The number you're trying
to call is not reachable.

Do come to my wedding,
all of you!

I'll whatsapp you
the invites!

Let him know!

I'll marry anyone
you choose!

Call them over.

Do you have a house
in London?

Yes.

You own it?

Yes!
- Offer them first!

Do you also own
a gas station?

No! Not yet.

We don't intend to.

My aunt there
owns a gas station.

And also a franchise of
Dunkin' Donuts!

She even runs two 7-Elevens!

Yes .

There are no 7-Elevens
in London!

Oh, there aren't?

As if we'd know!

Do you own a car?

Yes, but...

...the subway is just
round the block.

And Sainsbury
is right across.

Sainsbury?

Like a supermarket!
- Okay!

Only much bigger!

Oh okay!

Do you keep the turban
even in London?

You keep the turban?

You keep the turban?

Sometimes ...
- That's alright. Please have this!

How long have you
been playing hockey?

We had sticks lying
around the house ...

... so I picked it up.

My parents used to play.

You played for
the state?

I was selected for the camp.

But not the team.

What do you do?

I work in a bank.

Cashier?
- Security Guard.

Are you ready
for marriage?

Take it.
I don't mind!

You don't want
a love-marriage?

Nowadays, everyone
- It's all bullshit!

And if I think too much,
I might not marry at all.

Whatever will be,
will be.

Eventually, the donkey will be
led to the slaughter ...

You mean the lamb!

What?

Lambs are led to
slaughter.

Yeah. So?

You said "Donkeys will be led
to slaughter."

The saying is,
"Lamb to the slaughter!"

Yeah.

But donkey works too.

You don't want to ask
me anything?

All your information was
in your bio-data!

Your favourite color too.

Blue! Right?

No, look that...

Mom and uncle.

So it's not blue?

I mean, Yes!

It is! But...

You ask me!

Are you on Tinder?

Just got back
from London ...

...and you've already
scored a bride!

Do you have a photo?

Show us! Oh wow!
- Damn! She's hot!

Bro, chose an Indian
over an english girl.

Who needs an english girl?

Remember the guy from
our village...

...who married the English girl!

She's feeds
his cattle now!

I saw it on her Facebook.

Drink.

Cheers.

That's my Rumi.
- Who are you?

Return the phone.

Why do you have her picture
on your phone?

This is my Rumil.
Who the hell are you?

I'll tell you who I am.

Return the phone.
- Going to kill me?

I will!

Go on, bro.
Pull that trigger!

Robbie, tell me to shoot.

Make sure when you shoot
you kill me.

Because if I don't die...

...she isn't getting married
to anyone else.

And if I die,
she'll definitely kill herself.

Go on. Shoot me.

Robbie, say yes!

Why ask him?
Pull the trigger.

Robbie, just nod ...
I'll do it!

Hey.

"Even I want love."

"Even I want love."

Kakaji just shared
her pictures.

"I want love."

I haven't met her yet.

"My car is waiting outside."

Who was that guy?

Vicky
a.k.a DJ Sandzz.

Rumi's Boyfriend.

You knew about him?

He's all over
her Facebook.

Now?

I'm not sure.

Why would Rumi agree to marry me
if she loves Vicky?

She won't tell me.
I won't ask her.

You should've
said no to the alliance.

You should meet Rumi,
someday.

You'll know why I
couldn't say no.

But...

If Vicky's love has
any substance ...

...then no one can take Rumi away
from him.

That doesn't mean I don't
put in my chips.

Bro is a real banker.

The true gambler.

Kakaji!

Kakaji!

Kakaji?
- Bloody marriage bureau.

Easy, brother!

Where's the doorbell?!

Anal Sachdeva...

...this is not the name we're
looking for.

The name is Kakaji.

Could be his
father's name!

Vicky! Are you crazy?

You're my bro, right?

You're my bro, right?
Move aside.

Kakaji.

Open the door already!
Hello, Kakaji?

Kakaji.

Hello.

Don't break the door!

Who's Kakaji?

Kakaji!

Kakaji!

What do you want?
- Greetings Ma'am !

Looking for Kakaji.

Stand back and talk!

Where's Kakaji?
- He'll be here soon.

Where is Kakaji?
- What do you want?

- Where's he?
-You'll find him.

- Where?
Where is Kakaji?

- Aunty, please tell us.
-Why are you looking for him?

Stand back and talk!
Stay back.

We just need to ask him
some questions.

Stop screaming!
He'll come.

Come out.
Where did you go?

Where is Kakaji?

Where is Kakaji?

Are you Kakaji?

Don't hit him
Come here!

What did I do?
- Get here.

Are you Kakaji?

Vicky, please!

Vicky ! Don't hit him!

If you take Rumi away from me...

... I'll chop you
to pieces!

If Rumi is going to marry anyone ...
then it'll be me!

Understood?
- Yes!

Who will she marry?
- You!

What's my name?

Vicky Sandhu!
Now repeat it!

You're Sandhu's son?
- Yes. Say my name?

Vicky Sandhu.

Vicky Sandhu.

Got this to beat me?

Vicky Sandhu.

Vicky Sandhu.

Get me a knife!
No! No, Vicky!

Where is the knife?

No, no, no.

What does he want?

Sorry.

How dare you try to
marry her off?

How dare you !

Running a Marriage Bureau

to kill the lovers
of the world!

He won't share her
pictures anymore.

He won't.

Please lock the door
from inside.

Let's go!

Wait! Open the door!

Tell him who'll marry Rumi?
- Please don't open.

Ask him!

You will marry her.

Are you trying to make matches
or get us killed?

Are you trying to make matches
or get us killed?

How dare he enter our house
and break bottles?

He dares!

What can I say?

I dare you to do the same
at his house, tomorrow!

And break his legs.

I'm not a wrestler!

I'll complain!

He won't
bother you again.

What if he creates
a scene again?

Don't worry.
Our son...

... will guard your home.

Just don't let him
break this proposal.

You take care of
the groom's family.

We'll take care
of Vicky.

We'll report him
to the police.

And Babloo will
guard you.

Great!

This is exactly why
I went to university.

To hell with your MBA ...

... if you can't help
your family.

You guard their house ...

...and get your
sister married.

Come join the party.

Hello!
- Call Vicky.

Are you his friend?

Yes.
I'm his "friend"!

Your son isn't
letting me get married.

But turns up
for the honeymoon anyway.

Come inside!

Neither is he marrying me...

...nor letting me
marry the other person.

I told him ...

... let's get engaged.

He agreed...
but didn't turn up.

Makes me look like
a fool.

He doesn't value
my word.

Oye! Listen!

This time,
I saved you!

Next time if you
create a scene...

... I'll be the first to
report you to the police!

What's going on?

I don't know, mummy.

I'll tell you.

I'm getting engaged
tomorrow.

Either sit tight at home
or leave town!

I don't want to see
your ugly face again.

Here, your shawl.
He stole it to gift it to me!

It's dry cleaned.

Will someone tell me
what's going on?

Aunty, your son
has lost it.

You get lost.
- Why should I?

I'll tell you.

She's marrying
someone else...

...because your boy
won't grow up.

Uncle, he can't even
make up his mind.

Why can't he just talk
to her family?

She's ready to
wait for him...

...as long as
he commits.

Uncle, tell me...

She's not asking him to
marry right away...

...at least
get engaged!

So that her family isn't
shamed.

Vicky, the girl was right.

If you can't sit tight,
leave town.

Let's invite...

...only close
friends and family.

Robbie wants a small
wedding.

Limited guests.

I disagree. A wedding
should be big.

Yes, indeed.

It's no fun...

...if it's not
a grand reception!

For you I left the world behind,

We'll chill there, bro.

"I've chosen you.
- Party hard.

"I've chosen you.

"I've chosen you.

I tried to to stop myself,
But my heart's made up its mind

Dude, what happened?

Why are you turning back
towards the city?

Don't go to her.

Get down!

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Crying out for you,
My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Keep Rumi away from him.

What happened?

Get lost!

I need to talk to Rumi.

She won't meet you.
Just leave!

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Do you want me to
kick you out?

You can do
whatever you want.

I won't leave.

Unless Rumi comes and
talks to me...

I'll stand here
in protest.

Twisting and turning hour after hour

Oh, why do we doubt
this love of ours,

Twisting and turning hour after hour

Twisting and turning hour after hour

You are my spirit,
You are my being

Come back.

You are my spirit,
You are my being

You are everything.

Yet you forget me,
almost like I'm nothing

Yet you forget me,
almost like I'm nothing

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

He's been standing
there all day.

What is he trying
to prove?

Crying out for you,
My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

She's locked herself in.

Get rid of
this trouble.

People will talk.

Rumi!

Listen.

What do you want?

Leave.
- I want to marry you!

I'm engaged and
getting married tomorrow.

Now get lost!

I know that.

But you aren't married yet.

And you think
I'll call it off for you?

I don't like
your face anymore.

Leave!
- I know you love me.

Then you're delusional.

I know I made a mistake
but I'll make it up to you.

Rumi, our love
- Screw love.

Stop this nonsense
and listen.

Whether you like it
or not...

I know how to get love
and make love!

I'll fix everything.
Please forgive me!

You think I'm here...

...to keep forgiving you.

Think, before you marry
someone else.

Just leave!

Stop pushing.
I'm leaving alright.

You're treating me
like a beggar.

That's exactly
what you are!

And a thief too!

Even your haircut
is a copy!

Why are you always
insulting me?

Beggar or thief,
we're meant to be.

Out!

Rumi,

... we have but, one life!

I'm here to marry you!
I'll do anything.

I'd die for you.

Are you dumb?

It's too late.
I've moved on.

Get out.

Let's run away!

Is this a joke
for you?

We eloped once, right?

What happened then?

Look around!
Everything is set.

Guests, food, stage ...
everything!

DJ Sandzz,
bring your music...

... and dance at
my wedding!

When you're crying alone
after your wedding...

...call the caterers, the decorators
to cry on their shoulders!

Tell them "I got married because
your arrangements were done...

...now come
wipe my tears."

Fine. I will!

When you
wanted to elope...

... I came without
thinking twice!

This time, I'm asking.

You can count
on me now.

I can't live without you!

Die then!

He has realized
his mistakes.

So...

...you'll run away?

I don't know anymore...

...but I don't want
to lose him.

Whatever I decide
today...

... will become
the rest of my life.

And what
about grandpa?

And family?
- I know they'll be upset.

They won't talk to me.

Are you even listening
to yourself?

Whatever you're planning ...

... it's just wrong, Rumi!

It's selfish!

I don't understand
what kind of love is this.

It's the kind of love where ...

..its never enough!

And what about
the groom...

...who's expecting you there
tomorrow?

He'll find someone better.

But does he deserve to
find out at the altar...

...that God has someone
better planned for him?

Right.

You run away.
That's fine.

Bro! If mom...

...catches her daughter-in-law,
at this hour...

... there's going
to be drama!

I wanted to talk to you!

Yeah, sure.

Wanna come in.

I ...

I don't want to get married.

What?

I can't come to the
Gurudwara tomorrow.

Is tomorrow a problem?

No.

I mean I don't want
to get married.

He's screwed.

I thought I'd let you know
so you don't wait for me.

I don't suit you anyway.

You deserve
someone better!

That's all!

I'll leave now.

Are you on facebook?

I'll add you!

Can you please help me
kickstart the bike?

She walks like fire,
blazing funeral pyre

World's on mute
but she's an amplifier

Tined tongue talks smack !
Never spares a needed whack

Carries a mean stick
Mind your words or feel the sick burn

She'll brass hard on your manhood,
Dare belittle, any sister from the hood.

Watch out !
She roars like a lioness

Pride in her gait,
Shine on her face,

Foxy mind, shrewd in her trait,
A fiery gaze

Now move to the side
She's not your Jekyll, She's Mr. Hyde.

Do you defy?
She'll eat you alive...

She is chaos
Go ahead and try.

She's not your Jekyll,
She's Mr. Hyde.

"Try and say."

"Try and crate.."

"..the uproar."

"Try and do it."

This month's..

..30th is final.

Excuse me.

Tell me, Mr. Robbie.

This guy...

This DJ...
- Sandhu's son?

If his name is Sandhu,
then he's obviously Sandhu's son!

What does he do?
- Nothing much ...

Earns a little money
as a DJ.

What kind of life can he
offer Rumi?

His love won't pay
the bills or rent!

Did Rumi
say something?

She's changed
her mind?

You can't reason with
those two!

Rumi is especially difficult!

Rumi might be difficult.

The guy might be too.

But the boy's parents...

...might be easy
to talk to?

They must be practical.

What should I tell them?

Are you mad?

You'll take her away
on her wedding day?

It's my mistake
that I didn't do this earlier.

No son, that wasn't a mistake.

When you paid your way
into engineering college ...

...that was a mistake.

Then one day,
on Facebook...

...you saw your
banker friend's lifestyle.

So you decided to
pursue the same.

And I paid for it.

That was a mistake.

And then you went
and got your hair cut.

Defying our religion...

Thinks he'll
become a DJ...

...by changing his name
from Sandhu to Sandzz!

You've never understood
the difference ...

...between wanting
and doing.

You don't value anything...

...because I gave it to you
on a platter.

This time
I'm doing something!

Yeah, I can see that!

Eloping with a bride
on her wedding day.

Very responsible!

Good job, son!

Running away is easy...

...but building
a home is tough!.

Why are you ruining
her life?

Papa, I... I can't live
without Rumi!

Really?

Then you should have
done this before!

Now she's marrying
someone else ...

...so you've woken up.

If you respected her...

...she wouldn't be pleading
with us yesterday.

You don't want
to marry her.

You just want to own her...

... like all your other toys.

You cried for this yo-yo.

Threw it away, when
you couldn't figure it out.

One day you wanted
to be a boxer ...

The next day,
a cricketer!

Son, you can never
make up your mind.

Please spare Rumi!

She's not your toy.

I will meet you yet again.

Perhaps as a
figment of your imagination.

spreading myself

A mysterious line,
on your canvas,

I will keep gazing at you.

I will meet you yet again.

How and where?

I know not.

I will meet you yet again.

So welcome Mr. and Mrs. Bhatia.

Enjoy your stay with us.

Thank you.

Hello.

One stuffed bread.
With butter.

Send extra curry.

Why don't you make yourself...

Compliment from the house, sir.

Thanks very much.

Thank you.

That's kind of you.

Ummm...

Left or right?

Always right.

In order to get in the pack...

...it's important to win...

The mating sessions are short,
but frequent.

Sometimes over 50 times,
a day.

Now Prince and Ziggy have begun to
court each other.

Another male lion coyly approaches
the female.

On our first night,
I told him clearly...

...if you want some action,
then take me to Switzerland.

Or else sleep on
the couch.

You're lucky your husband
isn't like mine.

If I give him that option...

...he'd definitely sleep on
the couch!

Don't start again.

Breakfast?
- Get some bread.

With butter?

Are you okay, child?

I'm not sure.

Haven't gotten over one relationship,
and I'm already in another.

Hey...

Take the bags from him!

Robbie is a strong man.

Yes.

Rumi's here.

She seems nervous.

Great. Drive slowly.

It's raining.

Go quickly.

She got into the backseat!

Does she think my son
is her driver?

Come, sit up front?

Drive safe.

At obscure crossroads, fate stands

Blankly, those eyes staring at me.

A half-hearted life, solemnly hangs

As estranged happinesses flee

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

On bended knees
and bowed head

I pray to you
in god's stead

Miles that separate us

This damaged faith
This remorse and regret

Everything said
with words inefficient

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

Our bereft lives have halted

as our faintest hope died.

Like crimson flowers
Nectarless inside

A windfall of woe
Forsaken and alone

We could've been Us,
but you nestled too distant.

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

Flames of our eternal love

Flames of our eternal love
Doused in an instant !

My aunt gifted it...

...for our first night.

Are you sure?

Waiting for a call?

No.

Kashmiri tea, sir?

Tea?

No.

Sugar and..

What else?

Ohhh...

Ahhh...

Ahhh...

Ahhh...

You think you can
mess with me?

Ahhh...

Ahhh...

Ahhh...

Ahhh...

Sorry!

I go overboard
sometimes.

With what?

My sense of humor.

This is your sense
of humor?

Yeah!

What do you do in
anger then?

Hello.

Hello, mom.

How's the honeymoon?

It's going well.

Having fun?

Yeah, it's fun.

Here, talk to papa.

Okay.
Robbie.

Hi, papa!

How's the honeymoon?

It's going well.

Having fun?

Yes, it's quite fun!

Good! Here, talk
to Rumi's aunt.

Rumi's here.
I'll pass the phone.

Your aunt
wants to talk.

Yes, aunty!
- Rumi.

How's the honeymoon?

Honeymoon's going good!

Having fun?

No. Not so much!

Actually, he forgot
to get condoms.

By the time he bought..

Hello.

There's some
network issue!

I have network here.
I can hear you just fine!

Hello.

What a ridiculous question!
"How's the honeymoon?"

Have I ever asked them
about their honeymoon?

Say hi to my friend!

Who's that?

She's my friend.

Say hi to my girlfriend.

Tell her how many times
we had fyaar!

Vicky, that's personal!

But wasn't it great?

Was what great?
- Our fyaar!

Will she hate
me now?

That's the only
way she'll move on.

Are you crazy?
I don't want her to hate me!

You want her to move on.

But you don't want her to hate you.

Why don't you ever
question me?

How was your run?

I didn't go for a run.

Okay.

I'm not a virgin.

Maybe you were
expecting one.

Most Indian men come
back so they can marry virgins.

I'm not one either.

Don't you want to know
who it was?

Are you okay?

Can we go back?

I'm done
with this place.

It rains all day anyway.

Hmmm.

Dear Lord!

Who is it?

What...

Came back so soon?

Greetings!

Take the keys.

Bless you!

Is she alright?

Is everything okay?

Some tea?

They got back from
their honeymoon so early.

The reservation was for two weeks.
They left halfway.

Why don't you two go
in their place?

You guys look like you need
a honeymoon!

Or go alone.

Like in that movie
'Queen'.

Maybe on that holiday,
you'll realize...

...that the man you've
spent your life with...

...was never the one!

Do you charge
to talk?

I'm sure you don't preach
for free.

Ask your husband
that question!

Is he getting paid
to shut up?

It's like he's taken
a vow of silence.

You don't get this
in London.

These pickles.

Dried crisps...

Robbie takes it
from home.

Once you learn to make
these pickles...

I can retire.

I'm going to the market.

For some marketing?

No. Just to kill time.

With whom?

With myself!

Where are the keys
to the scooter?

I'll come along.
Where are you going?

Then how will I get
time alone?

I'll go by myself.

Cousin has taken
the scooter.

What is she!

An atom bomb!

Be careful...
She might blow up on you.

I mean it.

Where is he?
- He's asleep.

Wake up.

Wake up!

Rumi...

This is for standing me up,
that night.

What's this one for?
You guess.

Stop pretending to "move on"
with Raja's girlfriend!

You're a loser!
Understand?

A loser!

You're delusional
if you think you let me go!

I dumped you!

You need to move on!
I don't!

I got over you,
a while ago.

And if you can't get
that through your head...

...I'll write it down
for you!

There!

Read it aloud!

"Rumi... "

"went... "

"on her own!"

Went where?

First crossfit.

Then keto diet
at Kesar Dhabha!

Keto is basically
Punjabi food.

Have you ever seen
a fat Punjabi..

Peanuts?

Oye!

Okay.

Tell me something...

Have you always been
a monk?

Tell me something...

Have you always
been a witch?

Sometimes monks
step out of their character.

But you are never out of
character, you witch!

Full.

Ever yelled at
the top of your lungs?

Like climbed the water tank,
and just yelled "Motherf -"

Have you?

Villagers!

Village people!

What happened?

The kids are warming up to
each other. You sleep.

Villagers!

Sorry! Again.

Go for it!'
- Yeah?

What's going on?
- She's two drinks down.

What!'
two drinks.

And Robbie.
He is four down!

Villagers!

Wait a minute.

Only one villager heard you.
- You motherf-

Don't abuse...your mom.

Hello! He was
calling out to you.

Goodnight.

Once more.

Ready, 1, 2, 3...

Friends, Romans, countrymen!

Romeo and Juliet want to
say something!

But no one's listening!

Go to sleep!
The kids have exams.

Hey...

Juliet wants to
commit suicide...

...and you're worried
about exams!

Shakespeare died ages ago!

These folks have no idea about
Romeo or Juliet or suicides!

Yes. Go. Live your life.

Losers win even after losing the game.

Oh my!

I'll never let go, Jack.
You won't understand.

Robbie!

Whatever!

Villagers!

Oh an airplane!

Bye, bye, plane.

Bye.

City folks!

Let's go to London
on that plane.

Let's go for a movie?

Just a month ago..

..male and female kids were born.

And they are going to
be included in the group now.

Female child's name is Alisha.

Alias..

Are you okay?

Male child's name is..

That is..

So you only
open up when you're drunk?

I don't know you that well.

What do you mean?

I know you what you look
like naked, but..

I still don't know if you like
fritters or fries.

They proudly enquire..

A female monkey is attracted
to the strongest male.

During the mating season,..

Do you like Kofte?

...the males display their strength.

Rainfall or snowfall?

Do you vote?

Do you scream when
you're angry?

Do you have
your National ID?

In the winters,
do you keep the fan on?

Do you pay taxes?

Do you smoke secretly?

Why secretly?

I smoke openly.

Ohh...

Fritters.

With hot tea.

I'll make you an offer
you can't refuse!

I never make a second offer,
once you refuse the first.

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' girl, your companionship
appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,
pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,
seizes me

Oceans churn within a river,
like a dance

"Like a dance..."

Cities swing enchanted,
in a trance

Colours of a rainbow,
that are spread amiss

Colours of a rainbow,
that are spread amiss

You and I,
entangled in a butterfly kiss.

I fly, fly away,
a kite undeterred,

Painted in love
with the colours stirred

Within my heart,
Within my being,

are playing tunes unheard

O friends, I'm flying,
a freebird

In this sweetest battles
of glances blurred

For the shortest separation,
now seems absurd !

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' girl, your companionship
appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,
pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,
seizes me

Warriors abandon wars
as they prance !

Seasons swing enchanted,
in a trance

Colours of a rainbow,
that are spread amiss

You and I,
entangled in a butterfly kiss.

Hello.

Why?

Where?

Right now?

I've realized my mistake.

I didn't have the courage to
face your family.

But today, I told
Mr. Robbie about us.

I can't live without you.

We're meant to be together.

I want to stay
in this marriage.

So do I.

I want to stay
in this marriage too.

Then why are we
discussing this?

Discussion is a good thing.

Look...

I don't want us
to separate.

But what about Vicky?

What about him?

It's his problem!

This is your anger talking.

Rumi.

Vicky does what he does
because...

You empower him.

I can ignore him.

Can you?

Until you learn to
to ignore him...

I can't either.

Nor can I stop him.
Because honestly...

...it's not my place.

So...think over it.

If you still want to be with him
- I don't want to.

There's no rush.

What did he tell you?

Nothing I didn't already know.

He just...filled in
some blanks.

I'd decided a while ago that
I want to be with you.

Are you convincing me?
Or yourself?

Take your time.

I don't need time.

I want to be with you.

Do you love me?

With time, I will!

I've already begun to like you.

I'll fall in love too.

Still...

Take your time.

I don't need to make
a choice!

I made my decision when
I married you.

Stop trying to be
a martyr!

Sacrificing love!

If you're so eager to
become a saint, then..

Okay.

You know...

...you can tell me
anything, right?

Anything at all.

Okay.

Okay stop your nonsense.

It's making me want fyaar.

Fyaar?

Switch off the lights!

Why?

Either switch off the lights,
or shut your eyes.

What do you want?

What is wrong with you?

Why did you tell him
everything?

I won't back out
this time!

I'll fight the world
for you.

I live with him!
- You don't have to!

Why can't you
understand!

Listen!
You'll find someone..

But I want you.

I can't get you
out of my mind!

There's no fyaar
with anyone else.

No matter where
I try to escape to...

I only find my happiness on
your terrace, your streets, with you!

Tell me, what do I do?

If you can't be with me,
then kill me!

Kill me and
get this over with!

I can't live like this!

Rumi, you
can count on me.

I'm here this time.
For good!

How will I face him?

You don't have to say
anything.

No one will know
if you don't tell.

Hi.

What happened?

Rumi.

It's okay.
Take your time.

It's okay.

Look at me,
My vexed heart, stupefied

I want to live this life,
with you by my side

For slightest whim of yours,
this world, I shall sacrifice.

It is only you,
for whom I yearn

These colours of love,
shan't fade or burn,

I'm adamant , you and I, live
forever with love and laughter

This blooming love, it teases me,

O' boy, your companionship
appeases me

Like a colours of a prism,
pleases me

The hopeful dance in my heart,
seizes me

This mystic heart swings,
upon a single glance,

"Dances..."

The poet within me,
indulged in a platonic dance

"Dances..."

"Dances..."

Why aren't you
taking Vicky's calls?

Or replying to his texts?

He thought
everything is resolved!

But you aren't talking
to him again.

He's drinking night and day.
Please talk to him once.

Who are you?
Who's this man?

Murmuring in my ear
constantly.

What do you need, sir?

Call me back!
I'm dying here.

Please meet me once!
I'm begging you.

I was thinking of
stopping by our shop.

It's been awhile.

Should I drop you there?

It's okay.
I'll take a rickshaw.

No one's home.

Why did you
stop taking my calls?

I told you we're done.

Don't do it.

Don't do it!

Don't do it!

If you want me to stop,
then ask me to stop.

I said stop!

Can't you hear me!

You wanted to talk, right?
Then talk.

You keep pouncing on me!

Rumi, last time when
- What last time?

Last time was
my mistake!

Listen...

If I hadn't married Robbie...

I wouldn't have stopped you.
- As long as you stay married...

...you'll keep making
this mistake!

Tell me something.

When your Robbie
makes love to you...

...do you close your eyes
and imagine me?

Or do you look into his eyes?

A wounded heart bleeding,

Crumbling homes of broken love.

As I fall into the abyss,

With teary eyes, I retreat.

This heart echoes
with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched
with shadows gleam

Love's pious and pure,
though dirty it may seem,

A callous, wet hem,
neither hope, nor a dream

While my heart echoes
with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched
with shadow gleams

Whose syllable fell,
agape and unseen

Whose syllable fell,
agape and unseen

"Love.."

"Love.."

This heart echoes
with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched
with shadows gleam

Love's pious and pure,
though dirty it may seem,

A callous, wet hem,
neither hope, nor a dream

While my heart
whispers silent screams

Poems of love fell,
agape and unseen

Those syllable fell,
agape and unseen

"Love.."

"Love.."

Broken wings of murky night
Forlorn, hurt with that sight

Rainbows jaded by this smite
Laughters swayed by this slight

Broken wings of murky night
Forlorn, hurt with that sight

Rainbows jaded by this smite
Laughters swayed by this slight

My heart echoes
with silent screams

Unrequited love, perched
with shadow gleams

"Unrequited love."

You could've told me
you'll be late.

I was waiting for you.

I waited up,
last night too.

You could've just
told me...

You could've told me...

You still imagine him
when you close your eyes.

You could've told me...

...that you still haven't forgotten
his touch.

You deserve him.

You're perfect
for each other.

He can't stand up for you,
you can't stand up for yourself.

Neither of you have
anything better to do...

...than keep going
back and forth!

You feed off each other!

You make me sick.

You still have a choice.

I'd said that to you.

And I gave you that choice...

...because I love you.

Very-very much.

But your lies...

Destroyed everything!

I...
- Don't.

Just...

Just...

Next time, when you need
to go see him...

Take the car.

Don't go in
a rickshaw or on a bike.

With your
face hidden like a thief!

I'm sorry about
last night.

I overstepped.

Rumi.

I don't want to stay
in this marriage.

We haven't
registered it yet.

So legally it shouldn't
be a problem.

So, you want to
end this?

This was never
a marriage.

You don't have to worry.

You won't have to take
the blame.

Anyway, there
are many Indian men...

...who come from
London or Canada to marry a virgin.

And disappear after
the honeymoon.

They'll assume I'm one
of them.

Have you lost your mind?

This is not a game.

Marry today,
separate tomorrow!

You're not playing
with your dollhouse.

This is a marriage.

That ...

S...

Sandhus's son...

Is he the reason?

So what?

She is your wife.

These affairs are
all forgotten in time.

You'll get over it.

Son..

Son...

I thought...

...you'd pull through.

I tried, dad!

We tried our best
to counsel them.

But they had already decided
to separate.

It's their life.

Water purifier.
Last one.

You had gifted 21 dresses.

20 of them are in the suitcase
and she's wearing one.

This is embarrassing.

Annulment requires you
to return the gifts.

I need to keep a paper trail
for legal matters.

Should I make you
some tea?

I can make some.

Some other time.

If I stay for tea now...

When your luggage
comes back from London...

I'll bring it here.

Our girl has finally
become a woman.

When will your boy
become a man?

Don't worry, uncle.
I'll get a proper look.

No more hair tattoos.

Hi!

I've...

...called the salon.

Robbie came home with your luggage.

Get rid of the colors.

Definitely!
- Get a proper job.

Actually, we'd got
this done together...

So yes, I mean,
I'll get rid of the colors.

For you I left the world behind,

For you I left the world behind,

For you I left the world behind,

I tried to to stop myself,
But my heart's made up its mind

I tried to to stop myself,
But my heart's made up its mind

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

If luck is not on your side,
then call 564322 (TandC apply).

Crying out for you,
My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

My cousin Tony
lives in Sydney.

He runs a cab company.
- Tony who?

Tony is my sister's son.

So you'll work as
a cab driver?

No! Not a cab driver.

He has like 25 odd cabs.

- Serve them first.
- He's managing it all alone.

I'll help him run
his business.

And whenever I can,
I'll DJ.

So you'll drive cabs.

No, uncle.
A cab company!

We'll have cab drivers
working for us!

Tony and I will supervise
and manage the company.

But I won't sit idle.

That's the plan.

Can Vicky and I have our tea
on the terrace?

Vicky you aren't ready
for marriage.

What?

You were right.

I was wrong.

You aren't ready to
get married.

What happened?

You know, I hit the jackpot!

That you
were my first love.

For me, there'll never be another...

...like you.

If someone can't see how
special you are...

Then they're blind.

But...

...you aren't
husband material.

"Husband material"?

What does this mean?

You want to go
back to him.

If wanting was enough,
life would be simple.

But I'm responsible now.

I'll work hard.
I won't let you down this time.

You need to let me go.

Let go.

We're better off as friends.

What will marriage do
for us?

You'll own me,
I'll own you.

Why should we tie each
other down?

You should go
to Australia.

Find a new life.

I've just begun
to understand myself.

Only God knows
what's in store for me!

I'm not even sure if there's
anything for me.

Why do my eyes deceive me so?

Why am I unable to let you go?

Why am I unable to let you go?

Oh, why do we doubt
this love of ours,

Twisting and turning hour after hour

Twisting and turning hour after hour

Twisting and turning hour after hour

"Yes..."

You are my spirit,
You are my being

You are everything.

You are everything.

You are everything.

Tomorrow we get anulled.

Rumi and I.

Everyone's been saying...

"It was only an
arranged marriage."

"Barely a couple of weeks in.
Try again."

Settling down is very important.

I'm not promising that...

...we'll fall in love.

We really don't know.

Yes.

I promise not to
cheat on you.

I won't lie either.

Honestly, I just...

...wanted to tell you everything
about Rumi.

Yeah, you've told me
everything.

About Rumi.

Do you want to ask
me anything?

What's my name?

There's no rush.

Take your time.

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Crying out for you,
My screams echo through time

I feel dead even when I'm alive

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Now the tears flow,
Like a river that winds

Sorry Kakaji!
I'm late, I know.

Hello!

This way ...

Kakaji got you another
proposal already?

Congratulations.

When's the wedding?

Why didn't Vicky come
with you?

He moved to Australia.

Read it once.

Groom's family has
to return the dowry.

Done.

They have to pay for the
expenses incurred too.

That's also done.

Alright! Just sign
and the marriage is annulled.

Does she play hockey?

Please sign!
- Give them a minute.

Let them have a moment.

She's a doctor.

A dentist.

She did my root canal.

It didn't hurt at all!

They're the most respected dentist
family in town.

Sir. Another case is her.

Does she ride a bike?

Yes.

Wait man!
Can't you see?

They're having a moment!

No.

All the best.

How are
you going home?

It's close by.
I'll walk.

I'll walk you.

I've heard it rains quite a bit
in London.

I like rainfall over snowfall.

I've voted in the last two
elections.

Each time, I promise myself...

...that if we end up with
a useless government...

...I won't vote
ever again.

But I guess I will.

I have my National ID.

But I haven't linked it
to my accounts yet.

They spam my inbox
with reminders.

It pisses me off!

And whenever
I get angry...

I eat really spicy
paani puris!

In the winters ...

I keep the fan on,
but get cozy under my blanket.

My parents died early.

So I manipulate everyone
to get my way.

Later, I cry alone
in my room.

I can be
melodramatic!

I don't like Kofte!

But I can devour
yogurt dumplings!

I'm the witch!

But when Grandpa says that
my penalty hits are like dad's ...

...I melt completely.

In here.

I was the first guy in
our group ...

...to kiss a girl.

9th Grade!
Behind the water cooler.

Her name was Kanika.

The day she was
getting married ...

...she wanted
a goodbye kiss.

I kissed her but ...

But her aunt saw us.

That was the day ...

I broke all
the long jump records!

From her terrace
to her neighbor's!

I was 24 when
I had a car accident.

The car was totaled
but I was safe.

Karan lost his leg.

He uses a prosthetic leg now.

Karan is my best friend.

Since then
I've been a monk.

But...

I step out of character
when I'm around you.

He lives in London too?

He's already opened
my Tinder account.

Vicky and I
met on Tinder too.

You know how they suggest
profiles based on proximity.

His profile popped up.

Swiped right
as soon as I saw him.

Haven't used Tinder since
that day.

We deleted the app
from each other's phones.

Tell me something.

If you knew about Vicky,
then why did you marry me?

When you already had Vicky
in your life ...

Why did you agree?

Because I was angry.

I would've married anybody.

And I wanted to take
advantage of that.

Why?

Because I liked you a lot.

Liked me or
found me hot?

First, I found you hot.

Then I liked you.

It was the exact
opposite for you.

First, I liked you.

What kind of girl
were you looking for?

Someone who doesn't ride bikes,
or play hockey.

But here you had
bikes, hockey...

And a Vicky!

And you still married me.

Yes.

Are you crazy?

Yes.

Sorry. I mean
you were crazy!

I still am.

So why
did you break up?

I thought I could deal
with Vicky.

I couldn't.

Was it when you
saw us together?

When...

He asked you a question...

...that you couldn't answer.

Which question?

"Do you..."

"...close your eyes
and imagine him.."

"..or open them and
look at me?"

What could I have said?

If I'd told him the truth,
he wouldn't have let me go.

And I didn't want to lie.

So I kept quiet.

But now, when I close
my eyes...

...I don't see him anymore.

Bye.

Bye.

The next time you're in town,
I'll show you my penalty hit.

Did you deactivate your Facebook?
Or block me?

Send me a
friend request again.

I'll accept it.

By the way, we still have two
complimentary breakfasts...

...pending in Kashmir.

I am painted by your colors,
now and forever

I am flying away with you,
now and forever

I yield in to whims with you,
As your heart desires

Take me wherever with you,
As your heart desires

Share your dreams with me,
As your heart desires

All your wishes flying free
As your heart desires

Pockets of Love-prayers

Accepted, take me higher

Disobey the ways of this world

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

"You're in my heart."

"You're in my thought."

"You've obliged me."

"I can never forget."

"I'm all yours."

"Your personality has impressed me."

"My desires.."

"..are linked with you."

"Desires are linked with you."

"Desires are linked with you."

"I will tolerate all your tantrums.
As your heart desires."

"I will smile whenever you say.
As your heart desires."

"I will feel proud of your love.
As your heart desires."

"I will adorn as your heart desires."

Pockets of Love-prayers

Accepted, take me higher

Disobey the ways of this world

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires

As this heart desires