Hurry Up, or I'll Be 30 (1973) - full transcript

"Hurry Up, Or I'll Be 30" is the critically-acclaimed film of one man's frustration with his boring life. This motion picture features Danny DeVito in one of his earliest screen roles. For Georgie (soon to be 30!) a new and exciting world lies just over the Brooklyn Bridge. Life at home with his parents is at its limits. There are new worlds to explore, and perhaps even romance. Only the Brave!

- [Radio Commentator] What a
beautiful baseball afternoon,

it has been something else.

We have gone five innings, and
we'll have stronger hitting.

Yes, facing the top of the order here,

in the sixth inning, it'll
be Patterson leading off.

Richie taking the follow,
and Jose (mumbles) on third.

Patterson batting two eight.

Struck out on three (mumbles)
in the second inning

(radio commentator muffled by car engine)

Outfield straightaway,
infield just a bit back.

(radio commentator muffled by car engine)



Out of the big right hand already, again,

accountable at one,

Jim Patterson, who has
been streaking (mumbles)

And the (mumbles) pitch

Patterson cuts
(spectators cheering on radio)

(radio commentator muffled by car engine)

So, it is one down,
top of the sixth inning

- There!
- Where?

- There! There!

Over there!

It's nookie time, Georgie!

- Hey, man, slow down.

Georgie, slow down.

Man, you gonna pass 'em.
- Hey!



C'mon, pick it up, man,
they're gettin' away!

Pick it up!

- Aw, move it, move it,
man, what's with you?

C'mon.
(brakes screech)

- First you tell me to slow down,

now you want me to speed
up, so which is it?

- I didn't tell you to stop, c'mon, c'mon,

the chicks, the chicks,
man, they're gettin' away.

- Gonna get me some nookie, Georgie.

- 'Course you know this sort of deal

never leads us anywhere.

- (groans) Look, pull over.

- [Petey] I call the tall one.

- Hey, sweetheart!

You remember me?

- I call the tall one!

- Cool it, or you're gonna get nothing.

'Sides, the tall one's mine.

Georgie, what you think about her friend?

- The short one's mine!

- Hey, gorgeous, you
lookin' for a ride home?

- No, thanks, we can make it.

- Tell 'em Petey's back here.

- Look, we got Petey back here!

- Not so loud!

- Well, hey, oh, hey,

you got George and you me here, too.

- Nookie teeth!

- What do you say, huh?

C'mon.

What are you doin'?

I got the girl goin'.

I don't know about you anymore.

Eh, I don't know.

- There's got to be a little reasoning,

you know what I mean?

- Aw, it never leads nowhere!

Hey, maybe it never leads nowhere for you.

You shoulda seen me at
Coney Island last Saturday.

There was these two Arab
chicks, two of them!

Smotherin' me with affection!

- This sort of thing goes so
far, and then, I don't know,

it's depressing.

(Petey loudly blowing kisses)

- Yeah, well.

We gettin' old, man.

(mechanical rumbling)

- Vince!

Vince!

- Okay, so long.

- Who was that?

- Mom.

- Mom.

What'd she want?

- Pop's comin' to town.

- Pop?

Why, what, what's he comin' down for?

The doctor told him to stay at home.

- Says we can't make it
without Rossi's account.

- Rossi?

Who told him about Rossi?

- I told him.

- You told him?

What do you mean, you told him?

- I don't want my ass
getting slung for this.

- Who said anything about your ass

getting slung for anything?!

Hey, look, Vince.

I'm runnin' things down here,

now you don't go telling nothin' to no one

'till you check it out with me first.

(clattering)

(mechanical rumbling)

Hello, Pop.

- 38 years, 38 years.

That's a long time, Georgie.

38 years.

How old are you now, Georgie?

- I'll be 30 next month.

- [Pop] 30.

- Yes, sir.

- [Pop] That's a long time.

- I know.

- I had my own business,

I was a big success when I was your age.

- I know, Pop.

- Rossi and Son Insurance,
now in our 38th year.

Before you were born.

We started together, Joe
was my first customer!

- I know.

(sighs)

- All right, all right,

let's just not talk about it no more, huh?

(sighs)

- It really wasn't Rossi,
Pop, his son's running things

down there now.

I know the kind of deal
he's getting from Bartell.

(scoffs)

Pop! I think we can match it.

With a few minor adjustments,

and some things.
- Adjustments?

- Just to make us more competitive.

- Trapani don't compete Bartell.

Trapani don't compete with nobody!

(George muttering)

- Here, Pop, look, I've already
got most of it worked out.

I think if we group some
of these accounts together,

we can cut some costs.

- All right, all right, let me think.

What's this here?

- Where, Pop?

- Here.

- That's an R, Pop.

- That's an R?

(laughs) Some R.

(mutters) Jesus.

- What do you think of it, Pop?

- A lousy R.

Call your mother, I
promised I'd let her know

I got here safe.

She'll get used to it.

Startin' Monday, I'm
comin' back here to work.

What's the matter, you lose somethin'?

- No, Pop.

- No, Pop, no, Pop!

(mechanical rumbling)

- Up here, Georgie.

Got the rats back.

This person's gonna put
the exterminator money

if they don't check everything they got.

This way, she's got 'em
runnin' here and there.

You know what I'm sayin', Georgie?

- Uh-huh.

- She said she figures that
if she wins big enough,

she's gonna move to Florida,

and open up one of them sweater shops.

You know what I'm sayin', Georgie?

- Uh-huh.

- Come to think of it, though,

why would anybody wanna open
a sweater shop in Florida?

I think Alaska makes a lot more sense.

You know what I'm sayin', Georgie?

- Uh-huh.

- Personally, I think the whole
damn city's too damn dirty

to do anything with anyway.

You know what I'm sayin', Georgie?

I don't know how you (mumbles)
to rent from like that.

You know what they say about empathy.

Don't test it 'cause nobody gives a damn.

You know what I'm sayin', Georgie?

- Uh-huh.

- You know, that's one thing I like

about our relationship, Georgie.

- [George] What's that?

- We agree on things.

Can't understand it.

- [George] What's that?

- Someone always losin' their damn key.

- The key?

How could you lose the key?

- Never mind!

Never mind.

I thought I remembered
to have another key man

(mumbles)

(sighs)

I don't get to see you on
a Thursday, do I, Georgie?

Don't you play poker on Thursday?

- Fridays.

- I thought it was Thursday.

- [George] Fridays.

- That goes to show how much I know.

I coulda swore it was Thursdays.

Well, I'm always glad to see you, Georgie.

Whenever you can make it over.

You know that.

(sighs)

- I'm always glad to see you, too, Flo.

- That's sweet of you, Georgie.

(sighs)

- What's the matter, Georgie?

Ain't you feelin' all right?

- Flo, do I look any older to you?

- Older than who?

- No, I mean, do I look any
more mature than I used to?

- Georgie!

You've been mature ever since we first met

(mumbles)

- Well, how old do I look to you?

- I never gave it much thought.

- Flo, it's important.

Take a guess.

- 25.

- No, um, a little older.

(hums)

- 32.

- What?

- 32.

- How the hell could you say 32?

Do I look 32?

- I don't know, you asked.

31.

- Christ, Flo, we're
practically the same age!

- I'm 25.

- You were 25 three years ago!

- Ain't so, I was 25 in March, March 20th!

- You were 25 when I was
26 and I'm almost 30!

- Well, then, you got older quicker!

It ain't my fault.

30!

Christ, that's old.

- What do you mean, old?

30 ain't so old.

- That's somethin'.

30 years old.

Sure come a long way, Georgie.

- What do you want me
to do with the flowers?

- Oh, you brung flowers.

That's real sweet of you, Georgie.

You always bring flowers, don't you?

You're a real gentleman.

Put 'em on the dresser.

I had a man come in today,

and ordered three dozen French crullers.

What's he gonna do with
that many French crullers?

I like to speculate on
problems of that nature.

How 'bout you, Georgie?

- 30 ain't so old.

(sighs)

Christ, I can put some of
them younger guys to shame.

- You are good, Georgie.

- You're damn right, I'm good.

- You're a real gentleman.

- You're damn right, I'm good.

- 30? (laughs)

- Next month.

- (laughs) Wow, Georgie.

(laughs)

- Next month.

- Wow!

- Next month!

- You know, I never did care
much for a French cruller.

Maybe that comes from workin'
around 'em all day long.

Some people find them very popular.

- If he comes back to work on Monday,

then what's that leave for me?

You ever feel like you were
sinking into quicksand, Flo?

- What's the matter, Georgie?

Is the bed too soft?

(cars honking horns)

(sighs)

(reflective harmonica music)

(pinball machine ringing)

(reflective harmonica music)

- So anyways, I'm tellin' Georgie,

pull over, man, so we can pick them up.

This is good-lookin'
nookie, man, you follow me?

And you know Georgie, he
starts worrying 'cause

there's two of them and three of us,

and Tony and me, we
already got 'em called,

ain't that right, Ton?

(reflective harmonica music)

So, anyways, we pull over to
the side where the chicks are,

and we start talkin' to 'em.

And we're talkin' and talkin' and talkin',

and I noticed the red-haired chick,

she's really eyein' me up.

You know, with the eyelash
action and all that shit.

Well, get this.

All of a sudden, out of a clear blue sky,

she starts movin' her
hand down inside the car!

Phil, the chick is grabbin' for my bod!

She was takin' her life in her own hands!

I was gonna nail her, right there!

Hi, Georgie.

- Hi, George, how's it goin'?

- (sighs) Not bad, Phil, I can't complain.

(pinball machine ringing)

- So?

- Huh?

- What about the chick?

- Hey, Phil, you know how
it is with those chicks.

We figured that kind of stuff
never leads nowhere anyways,

so we just let 'em hang.

Ain't that right, Georgie?

- Hey, Georgie, wanna read the paper?

- Uh, yeah, thanks.

(pinball machine ringing)

(jazzy music)

Hey, Phil, you mind if
I borrow this paper?

- No, no, not at all, I'm
finished with it anyway.

- How much I owe you?

- 30 cents'll do.

- Hey, Georgie!

Comin' over for poker tonight?

(George's voice muffled by music)

- What're you talkin' about?

Tonight's Thursday!

We play poker on Thursday!

(George's voice muffled by music)

- Friday?! (laughs)

Thursdays, man, been Thursdays
for 17 years! (laughs)

- Well, uh, I can't
make it tonight, Petey,

I gotta get some work
done over at the shop,

I'll talk to yous later.

- Okay! Talk to yous later.

- C'mon!

- I don't know what's gettin'
into that guy, lately.

- I got 'em, I got 'em!

- He don't like doin' nothin' no more!

No snatch! No pinball! No poker!

No nothin'!

Shit!

(reflective piano music)

I mean, you gotta live a little
once in awhile, right, Ton?

(reflective piano music)

- Look at it! Goddamn!

I hit, I hit it!
- All right!

- I hit the jackpot!

Hey, Phil, Phil, two more beers
for me and my buddy, right?

- All right!

Attaway, Tony, baby!

Let's live it up, baby!

(reflective piano music)

(reflective harmonica music with piano)

(upbeat funky music)
(people chattering)

(choral soul music)

- Excuse me.

Um, um, um.

Oh, uh, bartender.

Uh, excuse me, mind if I
borrow some of your nuts?

Thank you.

Oh, uh.

(sighs)

Pretty crowded, isn't it?

- Yes.

- You, uh, come here often?

- No, I don't.

- Ah, I see.

This is my first time.

I just come in from Brooklyn.

- [Mark] Heard you mention
you're from Brooklyn.

- Huh?

- Said I heard you mention
you're from Brooklyn.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, uh, bartender.

- Froze cold.

- Uh-huh, yeah, that sort
of thing still happens

now and then.

(laughs)

- Mark Lossier.

- George Trapani, how are ya?

- Eh, you know, now and
then, depends, depends.

- Hm, yeah, I know what you mean.

- How 'bout you?

- Huh?

- You know, what're
you into, work, school?

- School?

Christ, I've been out of
school for 10 years now.

I'm in a printing line.

- That sounds interesting.

What sorta work you do?

- Eh, nothing too special,
just the usual stuff,

stationery, cards, calendars,
your ordinary business line.

- Here to get some new ones made up,

what do you think of that?

- Not a bad job, not bad at all.

- I didn't think so, either,

I was just curious to get a pro's opinion.

- What sort of things you produce?

- Usual stuff, you know,
off-Broadway, Broadway.

In fact, we're opening one next month.

Sort of a contemporary,
off-beat musical you know?

Smothered with folk rock, a choral jazz,

kind of stuff they're
goin' for these days.

- Hm.

- What do you have to drink, George?

- Oh, uh, I'll have a Bloody Mary.

- So, anyway, you know it's a (mumbles)

- Sounds pretty exciting.

- Eh, can be, can be.

You know what they say,
one hit and you're home.

- (laughs) Right, right.

- I got it, I got it.

- Oh, here, let me get it.

- All right, George, next one's on me.

- It's a five.

So, uh, what's this play about?

- Well, it's a kind of basic
play, George, you know.

A hero, heroine, a villain, you know.

Uh, let's see, uh, the lights
come up on the heroine's body,

spread eagle across the
table, her clothes ripped off.

Uh, we realize that now that
Mr. Christian, the villain,

has gotten to her.

It, uh, symbolizes the rape of
the North American continent,

by the Puritan exploiters.

(jazzy music)

Where was I?

- Uh, the, uh, rape part.

- Hm, yeah.

Uh, oh, the music starts
to build, you know,

rising and swelling and,
uh, lots of guitar and drums

and things, and maybe a couple of sitars.

- Hm.
- I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, um, this kind of
thunder roll music begins,

and, uh, the good people come
out and discover her lying

there, ravished.
- Hm.

- Shocked, naturally.

So, they go into this dance number

where they all remove their clothes,

sort of a ritual purification,

enough to show they still love her

despite what Christian did to her.

Then, um, two of the good people get up

on the table with her and
start making love to her.

You know, very tastefully, of course.

All in the context of the story, you know,

it's not, you know.

And the rest of the good
people, who are nude, remember,

join in this act of mutual love.

It's, uh, it's a very touching moment.

- I can see.

- And, uh, it's the end of act one.

- That's terrific.

I mean, I don't pretend to
be an expert or anything,

but that really sounds terrific.

- (laughs) You don't have
to be polite, George.

- No, no, I'm not bein'
polite, honest, Mark,

I think that's really
a great-sounding play.

You know, and the way you
gotta memorize it all,

that's really good.

- Thanks, George.

- Yeah!

I'd really like to come see it sometime.

- Well, uh, we're still auditioning.

To be completely honest about it, uh,

we still haven't raised all the cash.

- (sighs) I see.

I bet a show like that
costs quite a bit, huh?

- Hm, you'd be surprised how
little we can bring it in for.

Right now, a couple of
thousand ties it all up.

- Really? As little as that?

- Mhm.

- I used to do some writing myself.

I probably wasn't much good at it,

but I used to like doin' it.

S'probably rotten, Jessica
Sawyer said it was rotten.

- I doubt that, George,

you seem like a pretty sensitive guy.

- You know, I think that sometimes.

Sometimes, I think I really
got something special to offer

if I could only put it all into words.

Showed my father one of my stories once.

- Oh, yeah, what'd he say?

- Hm?

- What did he say?

- Nothin'.

He didn't say anything.

In fact, he never even mentioned it.

(sighs) I didn't have any
business writing anything anyways,

I'm a printer, I should stick to printing.

- Ah, nonsense.

You are what you allow yourself to be.

Now, listen, why don't you come
on by the audition tomorrow.

I think you'll find it interesting.

After awhile, maybe we'll
go have a cup of coffee

or somethin', know what I'm sayin'?

- Flo says that all the time.

- Flo?

- Oh, uh, what I mean is sure,
that sounds like it might

be a lot of fun.

I mean, I wouldn't to get
in anyone's way or anything.

- Oh, nonsense, George,
I'm looking forward to it.

- Well, that sounds terrific, Mark.

Really terrific.

- Listen, uh, the next
corner's fine, George.

- You live here?

- Well, you know, for the time being.

It's a place to hang my hat.

Listen, thanks for the
lift, George, all right?

I'll talk to you in the morning.

- [George] Okay.

- Can I help you?

- (foreign accent) Roberto!

(speaking in foreign language)

Take care of yourself, pop.

Taxi!

(commentator on radio)

- Good morning, Mom.

- Good morning, Georgie.

- Good morning, Pop.

- Georgie.

- Vince.

- I like manners.

- Morning, Georgie.

- Good morning, Vince.

How ya feelin' this morning, Pop?

- Like workin'.

- He don't, he feels terrible,

he was up half the night with pains.

- [George] Pop, maybe you
could just stay home 'till

you're feelin' better.

- Should take care of yourself, Pop.

- [George] At least until
you're feelin' better.

- More coffee.

- Uh, Pop?

Did you, uh, ever think of,
um, putting money into a show?

- Show? What show?

- Uh, like a Broadway show.

A show like Hair, for instance,
has made a fortune, Pop.

Or, um, South Pacific.

- [Mother] That was a very nice show.

- There's this deal I
could invest in, I think.

Uh, yeah, well, I guess you're right,

I really shouldn't be
thinkin' along these lines.

Be a lot of other guys involved

and I don't want to get involved
with a lot of other guys.

Some of those guys are
probably pretty shrewd fellas.

- [Mother] Yeah, pretty
shrewd fellas, Georgie.

- Probably eat ya alive.

- So? So, they're shrewd fellas.

Georgie ain't so stupid.

- (mutters) Stupid enough.

- Don't make it a good idea.

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Rossi, he's right here.

He's callin' ya back, Al.

- I'll take it in the bedroom.

- [Mother] He'll be with
ya in a minute, Mr. Rossi.

- [Pop] Joe?

It's who?

Depends.

Good.

(phones ringing)

- Hello? Hello?
(phones ringing)

Hello?

- Could I speak with Mr. Lossier, please?

- I'll get him.

(machines rumbling)

(sprays)

Mark Lossier here.

- Hello, Mark, this is George Trapani,

the fella from last night.

- Oh yeah, George, yeah.

You got me right in the
middle of meeting here.

- Oh, well, I won't keep you, Mark.

I was just wonderin' about that audition

you mentioned last night.

- All right, yeah, I'd
love to have you drop by.

Um, we're scheduled to start
about three this afternoon.

- Will this be over at your place?

- No, George, no.

We usually hold the auditions
at the studio downtown,

uh, you got a pencil?

I'll give you the address.

- I got one, Mark, go ahead.

- What's that?

- Nothin'.

- What are you writing?

Goin' somewhere, huh?

- None of your goddamn business!

Go take care of the (mumbles)

Right, I got it, Mark.

Thanks again.

Right. See you later.

- Okay, George, take care of yourself.

(funky upbeat music)

(whimsical music)

(funky upbeat music)
- (mutters) No (mumbles)

- [Mark] Next!

(murmurs) Sit down.

Grace, I'm Mark Lossier,
these gentlemen over here

are my associates.

(murmurs) Look this over for a moment,

just try to get with the lines.

Hey, George!

How are ya?

I didn't know you were
standing out there, come on in.

Come on in, sit down,
make yourself at home.

Yeah, c'mon.

Did you have any trouble
finding the place?

- Oh, no, I found it all right.

- I could see how a guy
could miss it, though.

Decorator's 'sposed to come on Monday.

(groans) With the union
and labor problems,

end up doin' everything yourself.

That's the way it is nowadays,
know what I'm sayin'?

- Yeah.

- Talk to ya in a minute.

- Okay.

- Well, Grace, what do you think?

- I'm ready, I guess.

- Go from the bottom of page nine.

I'll read Morris.

- Uh, do you want me to do it all?

- All would be fine, Grace,
any time you're ready.

- You filthy man!

How dare you say that!

- Don't forget I know about you

and Claude, the night watchman.

- All right, all right, if
that's your lousy game, Morris,

two can play!

- But that's what I've been
tryin' to tell you, Cynthia.

- Promise me that Allen will never know.

- [Mark] Trust me, Cynthia, trust.

- Trust?! What do you know about trust?!

Here! This is all I
have to keep your trust!

Oh, have done with it and let me go!

- No, no, it musn't happen this way.

Unction, sobriety, pathos.

- Um, sir, I think I've lost you.

- Has fantastic unction.

Sobriety, pathos (mumbles)

- [Man] For Christ's sake, we
haven't done it all already?

- All right, that was fine, Grace, uh,

I think we've seen enough.

So, we have your phone number, uh,

we'll be making up our minds
within three or four days,

and we'll let you know.

- Oh, do you have my answering
service number there?

- Yeah, I'm sure it's all there.

Would you ask the next
girl to come in, please?

Thank you very much.

- [Grace] Next!

(door slams)

(door slams)

(thuds)

(thuds)

- Uh, may I see a picture and resume?

(sighs) Well, Miss Welch.

- Walsh.

- Uh, Walsh, excuse me.

Uh, we're seeing an awful
lot of people today,

so, uh, we'll be in touch
with you if we need your type.

- My type? What's that supposed to mean?

Automobiles, trucks, they're types.

I'm an actress, not a rental.

- (sighs) Well, it's nothing
personal Miss Welch, I just

- Walsh.

- Walsh, yes, Miss Walsh.

- Look, I know there're
other kids waiting outside,

but this was supposed to be an audition.

Now, you let the other girls
do the whole damn thing.

Where's the stuff I'm supposed to read?

- Here, where it's marked.

I'll read Morris.

- You filthy man.

How you dare you say that?

- Don't forget I know
about you and Claude,

the night watchman.

- All right, if that's
your lousy game, Morris,

two can play!

- But that's what I've been
tryin' to tell ya, Cynthia!

- Promise me that Allen will never know.

- Trust, Cynthia, you must trust me.

- Trust?!

Trust?!

What do you know about trust?!

Here!

Here!

This is all I have to keep your trust!

Here!

Now! Now!

Have done with it!

Have done with it and let me go!

Here!

- Uh, that was fine, just fine.

Uh, we have your number here, uh.

- [Miss Walsh] Oh, come on.

- Thank you.

- Okay. (laughs)

You don't have to be cutesy with me.

You know, I mean, I've
been around a long time,

I mean, you drag a girl
here from Brooklyn,

and then you put her through
some cheap thrill show.

Well, (laughs) who needs it? Who needs it?

I don't need it!

Listen, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry!

My body isn't for sale!

- Next!

Next!

(mumbles)

Miss Tice, uh, as you probably
know, I'm Mark Lossier,

uh, these gentlemen over
here are my associates.

Uh, now, our show is a
contemporary, upbeat,

right now, musical, uh.

There are parts for a lot of
girls with no preconceptions

about age or physical types.

So, it's kind of up to you,
uh, to show us what we want.

We're not looking for rentals.

You know what I'm sayin'?

- Yes, I see.

- What we're looking
for, basically, are, uh,

are girls that are not
ashamed of themselves.

- Um, I'm afraid I don't

- Well, girls that have no hang-ups about

the beauty of the human
body, you understand.

- Oh, I see, what you want is a girl

who'll take off her clothes.

- With taste, with taste.

I mean, it's not just a sex show.

- Uh, sorry, thank you very much,

it's just really not for me.

- Well, Miss Tice, it's not all the time,

I mean, there's really nothing
the least bit degrading

about it, honestly.

- Mr. Lossier, I'm afraid
I don't quite understand,

I don't really think it's for me.

Thank you for your time.

- Thank you.

(door slams)

(reflective harmonica music)

- [Mark] Next!

(reflective harmonica music)

(funky upbeat music)

- Well, hi.

- Hello.

- Uh, I bet you don't remember me.

- That's right.

- Well, I can understand that.

I remember you, though.

- That's nice.

- I, uh, I was there just
this one time, you know.

I mean, I really didn't
know what it would be like.

I'd really hate to have you
think that I normally go.

Coffee.

Thank you.

Uh, miss?

- Yes?

- Um, you know, I really
don't know how to say this,

but, I really admired the way
you handled the situation.

- Do you mind if I ask
what you're talking about?

- Oh, um, the audition this morning.

Mark, uh, Mark, um, Mark
Lossier Productions.

- Were you there?

- Uh, well, sort of, I guess, not really.

- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were,

oh, never mind.

Are you in the theater or something?

- Oh, no, no, no.

I just come in from Brookyln.

- (laughs) You can do both, you know.

Well, how did you happen to see me there?

I don't remember.

- Oh, look, uh, I really
wouldn't want you to get

the wrong idea.

I mean, I really didn't know
it was gonna be like that.

I mean, at first, I
thought it was gonna be

just a regular audition, you know?

With clothes?

But, then, when I saw
what it was, I figured

that kind of investment
just wasn't for me,

I just didn't want to be rude, you know?

Sittin' there and all?

- Well, I don't have anything
against nudity in the theater.

I mean, if some people
wanna do it, it's okay,

I'd just rather think of myself
as an actress first, though.

- Well, I think it all sounds
like a pretty exciting life.

- Have you invested in many shows?

- Well, you know, here and there.

Nothin' big, though.

You gotta be careful, of
course, some of those guys,

they're pretty shrewd operators.

- That's putting it mildly.

- But I'd invest in a show you were in.

(snaps fingers) Just like that.

- (laughs) How'd you
like a job as my agent?

- How would I like a job, come on.

(Jackie laughs)

- I'm through for the day now, George,

would you mind paying your
check so I can finish up?

- Oh, sure, sure.

(cash register rings)

Jackie?

Could I, uh, buy you a cup
of coffee or somethin'?

(laughs)

(reflective harmonica music)
(birds chirping)

(sighs)

- Well, this is it, I guess.

- Yeah, you live a lot
closer than I thought.

(sighs)

It's nice.

- Yeah.

- It's a very nice neighborhood.

- Yeah, I like it a
lot, but somehow I never

really feel quite safe when I'm alone.

- Right, right.

(laughs)

(sighs)

- Well, anyway, thanks for the lift home.

- Oh, it's okay, it's okay.

Any time you wanna go
somewhere, just let me know.

- Well, I'd invite you up for a drink, but

- Oh, no, hey.

Listen, I really gotta get goin'.

I've been takin' up too much of your time.

- No, you haven't.

I've really enjoyed it.

- Yeah, well, my family's
probably lying in wait for me

already.

Oh, here, let me get it for ya.

- Well, thanks again, Georgie,
it was really very nice

meeting you.

- Yeah, well, listen, I
hope you get a good part

and everything.

- (laughs) Thanks.

Well, I.

- Right.

- Bye, Georgie.

- Right, Jackie.

Uh, how's Saturday?

I mean, could I see you on Saturday?

- Oh, sure, Saturday's fine.

- Uh, yeah, listen, what's
the best way for ya?

- Why don't you pick me
up at the coffee shop

after work, I should
be through about five.

- Five. Right.

Uh, okay.

Okay, I'll pick you up Saturday at five.

- Okay. Night.

- Right, goodnight.

(cheerful music)

(reflective harmonica music)

(romantic harmonica music)

- [Actress On TV] What do we do now?

- [Actor On TV] He might've
taken her to his apartment.

- [Actress On TV] Where?

- [Actor On TV] You
know where my office is?

It's on the second floor.

(door slams)

- Hi, Mom, Pop.

- Please, don't be.
- [groans] Oh.

- Georgie, where've you been?

You didn't tell me you're gonna be late.

- I'm sorry, Ma, I had a bite out,

haven't been too hungry lately, anyway.

Hey, Pop, what's the matter?

Hey, Pop!
(dramatic music on TV)

You're gonna shake up
the whole neighborhood!

- Leave it!

- (sighs) It's too loud, Pop.

Hey, Pop.

What's the matter?

Ma, what's the matter?

- Your father, Georgie, he depends on you.

- I know that, Ma.

- He feels deserted.

- Deserted, why?

- [Mother] Why'd you leave your
brother alone this morning?

- Huh? What do ya mean?

- Vince told Papa you left the shop early.

- Oh, Christ, give me a goddamn

- (sighs) Georgie.

- Look, Ma, I just had a couple
of things I had to get done,

that's all.

- He depends on you, Georgie.

- I know he depends on me.

Look, Ma, I left the
shop a few hours early,

is that such a big crime?

I mean, Vince was there.

- He doesn't depend on Vince, Georgie.

- Look, Ma, he doesn't depend
on anyone, you know that.

- It's not true, it's not true.

He depends, he depends more than you know.

It's just that sometimes he
don't let it show, that's all.

- Mom, he jumps on me
for every little thing.

Even when I try helpin' out,
all he does is pass over me.

Ma, no matter what I do, he
never gives it any credit.

- He gives credit, Georgie.

- I don't mean it that way, Ma.

(sighs)

Ma, I'm practically 30 years old.

30, Ma.

And he still treats me like I'm some kind

of a 12-year-old kid.

I can't take it anymore.

I gotta account for
somethin' too, you know.

This afternoon, somethin'
really terrific happened.

I mean, for the first time in my life,

I suddenly felt like...

Never mind.

- Georgie, Papa didn't get Rossi back.

Doctor told him to take it easy.

- Ma.

(printing machines rumbling)

Hey, Vince!

Give me some more paper for Kluge!

(machines rumbling)

Hey, Vince!

Where the hell's that paper?

Hey, Vince.

What're you doin' with those books?

- I'm doin' em.

- I know you're doin' em, but
you don't do them, I do them.

- Okay, you do them.

- Put 'em away.

I said put those goddamn books away!

- What the hell's goin' on in here?!

- I was doin' the books,
Pop, like you told me,

and he comes in and

- Pop, he doesn't do the books.

- The press ain't runnin'.

- I shut it off, Pop, 'cause
Vince didn't bring the paper.

- I was doin' the books, Pop.

- Pop, I do the books.

- The press ain't runnin', we lose money,

we lose money, we don't need no books.

- Pop, I can't run the
press without paper.

- Broke your arms?

- But, Pop, the books have
always been my responsibility.

- You got a responsibility
out there, I don't hear it.

Who's contract are you losin' this time?

(door slams)

Do the books!

(door slams)

(machines rumbling)

(vehicle engines)

- What'll it be?

- Is Jackie off duty yet?

- Jackie don't work here no more.

- What?

- She quit two or three days ago.

- She quit? Are you sure?

- Mister, I've been
workin' here for six years,

maybe I ain't so smart,
but that girl, she quit.

Now, I'm sure about that.

- Well.

Uh, did she come by at all?

Maybe for a cup of coffee or something?

- She ain't been by.

- I see.

Well, then, I guess she didn't
leave a message or anything?

- She ain't been by.

- I see.

Well, thank you.

(reflective harmonica music)

Hey! Where you been?

- Oh, I'm sorry, were you waiting long?

- Oh, no, it's just the woman said

you didn't work here anymore.

- That's right, I don't.

- Oh, I see.

Well, that's all right, I mean,

I understand these sort of
things, you gotta keep moving!

Listen, where would you like to eat?

I mean, did you have
anything special in mind?

- Guess what?

- Uh, what?

- Something really terrific.

- Hmm, Chinese?

- (laughs) No.

- [George] That's terrific, I
mean, that's really terrific.

- Well, it's not so much
that it's a large part,

as much as I feel can bring
something of myself to it.

You understand, George?

- [George] Sure, I think
that's really great!

- Oh, (laughs) here.

Let me help you with one of those.

(laughs)

Maybe I'm just rationalizing, who knows,

but it sure beats being a waitress.

- Well, I really think the
whole thing sounds terrific.

- You really think so?

- Sure! Sure, I really think so.

- Um, could you hold this?

- Oh, yeah, yeah. 'Kay.

- Are you sure you can (mumbles)

- Oh, yeah, put (mumbles)

(laughs)

Okay, I got it, go ahead.

Um, in case you can't find your key,

I know a great trick with a hair pin.

(laughs)

You got it?

- Yeah, I think I got it.

- Okay.

You know, you really
didn't have to go through

all this trouble, I mean, I
really could go out to eat.

- Don't be silly, I love to cook.

Besides, you can help
me run my lines later.

- Right!

Hey, you got a really nice place here.

- Oh, you can put that stuff
on that table in the kitchen

while I go and change.

- Okay.

- [Jackie] Oh, there's some
wine on top of the trunk,

or some stuff in the refrigerator
if you want anything cold.

Just help yourself.

- All right.

(reflective harmonica music)

Hey, are you sure there's
nothin' I can help you with?

- Oh, I'm sure.

- [George] Oh.

- Hey, what do you think of the play?

- Oh, uh, well, uh...

What are you cooking?

- Spaghetti. I hope you like Italian food.

- I don't know, I never tried it.

(laughs)

On Saturday mornings, when
Vince and I were still kids,

he used to make us popcorn.

Every Saturday.

We'd sit on the floor, Vince, Pop, and me,

and we'd eat from this
great big wooden bowl,

while we watched Howdy Doody.

(laughs)

Sometimes, he'd say he ate too much

and was turning into a butterball,

he'd let us sit on his
stomach and bounce up and down

'till the butterball was gone.

"My sons saved me," he'd say.

- Sounds like a very good man.

- Yes, yes, he is.

He can't eat popcorn anymore, though.

The butter and salt are bad for him.

- I see.

- Do you ever feel like
a piece of popcorn?

I mean, do you ever feel sort of useless?

- Yeah, sure, lots of times.

- Well, it's the way I
feel sometimes with Pop.

It's just a lot of things.

The Rossi account, and then
Vince takin' over the books.

It's just...

Listen, I really don't
mean to be boring you

with all this stuff.
- No.

No, you're not boring me.

- Well, it's just that
sometimes it's tough

to get him to accept things,
you know what I mean?

- Well, maybe you should just sit him down

and make him listen.

Sounds to me like you've got
some very good ideas, George.

- Oh, yeah, I got some
good ideas, all right,

it's not so much that he doesn't listen,

he just doesn't accept.

- But he's wrong.

- Who, Pop?

No, no.

- Want some coffee?

- No.

- Listen, George, I really think

you're selling yourself short.

I mean, I understand, he's
your father and all that,

but, Christ, he's not God, you know.

- (laughs) No, no.

(laughs)

He's not God.

(laughs)

- So, some of the ideas
you've been tellin' me about

sound really good,

and I think you should take a
stronger hand in the business,

let your father know that
you're someone to be respected

and listened to.

- Yeah. I guess you're right.

- Yeah, you're damn right, I'm right.

- Right.

- Right.

- Yeah.

How 'bout some of that coffee?

(romantic music)

♫ Somebody said tomorrow

♫ Never brings nothin' new

♫ Wasn't that someone you

♫ Who are you now

♫ Don't I remember someone

♫ Standin' outside the door

♫ Wasn't that you before

♫ Who are you now

♫ Who were you then

♫ You might've been forever you

♫ Wasn't it strange, feelin'
a change come over you

♫ Who will you be tomorrow

♫ Nobody that you've been

♫ Watchin' yourself begin over again

♫ Who are you now

♫ And who will you turn to then

(romantic music with harmonica)

♫ Who will you be tomorrow

♫ Nobody that you've been

♫ Watchin' yourself begin over again

♫ Who are you now and
who will turn to then

(romantic music with harmonica)

- There's a cast party
after the opening tonight.

Wanna come?

- Sure.

- Good.

- Okay, come on, come on!

Let's get the show on the road here!

I ain't got all day, you know!

Hurry up, hurry up, hey!

The way you people move, it's
a wonder you got this far!

Come on! Come on!

Hey, listen, listen, will you
get the lead outta your ass?

My lease is up in November!

Hey, wait, oh, oh!

Hold it up, stop!

Look, the car wash is over there!

Come on, move over.

Go on, go on, move over.

Hey, let go of me.

Back it up there.

Look, the pretty brushes, look!

They're yellow, blue, red, green!

Okay, okay, all right!

That's it, that's it!

Move it right on in there!

The mechanism will take over!

Hey! And remember,

I don't wanna catch you
messin' around in there!

This ain't no tunnel of
love, you know? (laughs)

(car horn beeps)

Hey! Georgie!

Where you been, man?

I ain't seen you around
for weeks, how you doin'?

And look at this suit, huh? (laughs)

What've you been doin', huh, man?

- Well, I got a few things goin' on

(voice muffled by car engine)

- Eh, hey, Georgie!

You get some nookie lately, huh? (laughs)

- I really wouldn't wanna
put it quite that way, Petey.

- No, huh?

Hey, George, Georgie!

Hey, George!

Hey, George! George!

There's somethin' I've been
meanin' to ask you about.

Listen, hey wait a minute.

Hey, roll down the window.

Hey, hey, George!

- Hey, Petey, what're you doin'?

- Hey, George!

Hey, hold on!

Hey, George!

Georgie!

Listen!

- Get away!

(voice muffled by car wash)

- Uh, my fat aunt comes over, George,

you know what I mean?

(voice muffled by car wash)

And she wanted crullers!

- Hey, Petey, what's
the matter, you crazy?

- So I went down to the store, then.

Hey, hey George!

I went down to the store, you know,

I went down there and,

hey, wait a minute!

Listen, it's important!

Hey, George!

What am I doin'?

Hey, I'll talk to you when we get outside!

- Hey, man, I thought
somethin' happened to you,

what the hell were you tryin' to do?

- Our towel machine was empty.

Uh, so, hey, anyway, uh, so George,

what I was meanin' to ask you.

Have you been after Flo lately?

I mean, like, you know,
you been talkin' to her

or anything like that.

- No.

No, I haven't seen her.

Why, is somethin' wrong?

- Nah, nah, no, no.

Nothin' wrong.

I was just curious, you know?

- Well, uh, listen, thanks, Pete.

I'd like to stay and talk with you,

but I got somethin' on
in the city tonight.

- Yeah? (laughs) The suit!

- Openin' night, you know how it is.

See you, Petey.

- Okay, George.

Take it easy, huh?

Don't be a stranger!

Hey! Hey, George!

You forgot your change!

Hey, wait a minute!

- [George] Keep it!

- Keep it. (laughs) Big shot.

Hey, pop, you still here?

Give me a dollar.

It's all wet. (laughs)

- Can you fix a flat tire?

- Uh, see the guy inside.

- All right.

Hello.

Um, (clears throat) could
you fix a flat tire?

- Yeah, yeah.

- How long would it take?

- 'Bout 15, 20 minutes.

- Uh-huh, um, do you have a phone here?

- Yeah, right in there, around the corner.

- Thank you.

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

- Hi, it's George.

Listen, I've got a little
problem with the car here,

so I'm gonna be about
15 minutes later, so.

- Well, that's okay.

Uh, I mean, if it's anything serious.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no,

it's nothing serious, it's
just a problem with a tire,

I've got a flat, that's all.

- Listen, George, uh, I'm
really glad you called, I mean,

I've been sitting around
here thinking all day

that maybe this party thing
isn't such a good idea,

you know what I mean?

- No, what do you mean?

- Well, you know, George,
how these kind of people are,

and, well, I thought you might
feel a little out of place.

You know, a little uncomfortable.

- Uncomfortable, are you kidding?

I'll be very comfortable.

Don't worry, I'll be very comfortable.

- Yeah, well, what I'm
tryin' to say is, well

- Jackie, I'll be very comfortable.

(bell ringing)

Oh, uh, look, the tire's fixed.

I'll be right there, okay?

- Okay.

- See ya.

- See ya.

- Yeah.

(upbeat rock music)
(people chattering)

("Baby Blue Eyes" by Dennis Cooley)

♫ You better protect yourself

♫ I've been waiting here

♫ You better protect yourself, disappear

♫ You want to settle
down, he never been back

♫ Whatever happened, Baby Blue Eyes

♫ Whatever happened to long, brown hair

♫ Whatever happened, baby, yeah

♫ Where have you gone

(upbeat rock music)

(people chattering)

♫ What ever happened, Baby Blue Eyes

♫ What ever happened to long, brown hair

♫ What ever happened, baby, yeah

- It would be very nice.

- I'll mention you to him.

- Thank you, that's very kind of you.

- My pleasure.

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

Ken, this is George.

- How are ya?

- George, Mr. Harris is
the producer of our show.

- Oh!

- George occasionally invests in theater.

- Oh, well, just now
and then, nothin' big.

Of course, I'd invest
in anything she's in,

she's very good.

- Yes.

What do you do, George?

- Oh, I'm a

- He's a publisher.

- Oh, excuse me.

- George, there are lots of
people here, why don't you

get around and introduce yourself?

- What did you tell him that for?

- Oh, it sounded good.

Besides, you are, in a way.

- No, no, I'm not.

I'm a printer.

That's what I do, I'm a printer.

- George, this is really a super party,

why don't you get around
and meet some people?

- Oh, I am, I am.

I was just passing by.

(upbeat rock music)

(funky upbeat music)

- A gin and tonic, please.

I think he's a groovy member.

- Harry, you think everybody's groovy now.

- (mumbles) I'll take a scotch and tonic.

- I'm off duty.

Oh, hi.

What are you doin'?

- Havin' a good time.

- Cool, hey, great.

Great party.

(voice muffled by crowd)

About ready to go?

- No.

- Me neither.

- Listen, George, you
don't have to wait for me,

if you get bored, you can
leave, I'll understand.

- Bored? Who, me?

You kidding?

- Thanks.

- (sighs) Have you seen the
new production of Hamlet?

The one they're doing
in the converted garage?

- [Jackie] No, how is it done?

- I, uh, have a friend
who runs a car wash.

With the way business
has been goin' lately,

I oughta tell him to put up a side light.

You know what I mean?

- That's really very exciting.

Doesn't work all the
time, but it (mumbles)

(laughs) The only thing I didn't like

was, uh, you got a supermodel Ophelia,

she didn't fit, and she
was a total anachronism

as far the overall
conception of the production.

But, uh, Hamlet and
Polonius are very well done.

The direction overall was pretty great.

- Hey, excuse me, uh, I just
wanna head over for a refill.

Uh, can I get you folks anything?

- No, no thank you, George.

- Yeah, well, uh, you just go right ahead,

don't let me interrupt you.

Excuse me.

- What do you (voice muffled by crowd)

- Oh, he's (voice muffled by crowd)

(upbeat funky music)

- Hey, man, how are ya?

How ya doin'?

- Mark! Hi, gee, that's quite a surprise,

you know what I mean?
- Right.

Weren't you in the printing business?

- Huh? Oh, oh, you mean this.

Oh, uh, no, no, I, uh, just, um,

I mean, I'm just, uh, fixing
myself something to drink here.

- Oh.

- Oh, by the way, Mark,
I've really been meanin'

to call you on that show
thing, it's just that,

you know, since I've been

- Oh, no, that's cool, don't sweat it.

We're opening later this season.

- Oh!

Gee, that's terrific.

That really is terrific.

- Bourbon and ginger, please.

- Uh, oh, no, I'm not the, uh...

Here.

You do it yourself.

I'm not the guy.

- Say, you a friend of Ken's?

- Ken?

- Ken.

- Oh, Ken!

Uh, no, no, I'm a friend of, I mean,

I'm a friend of a friend of Ken's.

- Oh.

- Do you know him?

- Ken?

- Ken.

- I've known him for years.

We're producing my show together.

- Oh. He, Ken...

- Listen, I see something interesting,

take care of yourself, Stan.

- See you around.

(funky upbeat music)

(military percussion music)

- Georgie!

Hey!

Georgie!

Georgie!

Georgie?

- Hello, gee, I didn't see
you comin', how've you been?

- Well, fine, fine, Georgie.

How've you been?

- Oh, fine, fine!

- Uh, I don't see you no more, Georgie.

- Yeah, well, I been
sort of tied up lately.

- Gee, you look good, Georgie.

- You look very nice yourself, Flo.

- Oh, no, no, I just
came out in my clothes,

what's the matter, Georgie,
did you lose something?

- Uh, no, I just seem to
have, uh, misplaced my key.

- I'd love to see ya
again sometime, Georgie,

if you could, well, if you wanna.

- Yeah, perhaps that'd be very nice, Flo,

uh, we'll have to get together.

- I don't wanna keep ya, Georgie.

You must be very busy.

- Yeah, you know, I've sort of been, uh,

running on a tight schedule.

- Yeah.

Well, so long, Georgie.

- Yeah. Okay.

Take care of yourself, Flo, I'll call ya.

- Yeah, take care of yourself.

You'll never guess who I just saw.

- Who?

(cheerful music)

(melancholy piano and harmonica music)

(door slams)

(loud footsteps)

- Hiyah, George.

- Hello, Petey.

(printing machines rumbling)

(reflective music with harmonica)