Hunting Season (2019) - full transcript

Eva, a recently divorced, single mom, goes away for a weekend at a spa with her childhood friend Marlene to help her get through her midlife crisis. Isabella, the new girlfriend of Eva's ... - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
– Do you think Olli would like this?
– Aiii, Eva.

Look at this guy.
He is pretty hot.

– Did you forgot you're married?
– It's not for me. It's not for me either

Come on ...You haven't been on a date in like 100 years.
You can always go and ask him...

I'm not going on a fucking date.
I need to find a present for Olli.

-What about this then?
-Mmmm... ooorh


– Daaaamn - it shoots wrong.
– Thats actually dangerous, that thing.

– It's crazy they sell this to kids - Yeah, and especially to kids.
– Do you need help?

-Yes please! - My son is getting 8.
Only thing that is on his wishlist is a dog.

-Pets are not allowed where they live

-We need to find something that
compensates for a dog, and doesn't cost a fortune.

-If he needs something, where he also should have some
fun with his dad, he needs a drone.

-Listen, dad needs to buy his own present.
We are not...

So... He left.
Well not left in that meaning.

I was the one who wanted to...
It was a break

– But then a month passed...
– Five.

Then he was moving on
with a little cheap 15–year old teen..

– 28. She is actually 28.
– The classic situation, right?


– How about this?
– What can it do?

-Say woof. It is on sale.

I think we will just look a little around.

Do you know what he gets from Steen og Isabella?

–Well now it is not a competition.
– No. It is not a competition.

Marlene, you got your head
down in that phone constantly.

Whats going on?

Some shit happened.

Aii ok - I simply cannot cope with that.

– Marlene.
– Olli. God, Hi!

– Hi, Marlene.
– Hi.

– Where are you hiding Anders?
– He is at home.

I'm here all by myself.

Should we tell Marlene what we should
do when we get home? Vi are going to play "Bakingchallenge" –

– and make test-birthdaycakes
for Ollis birthday.

Bella is just awesome.

We should remember to record a video...

– Are you okay?
– Schhh.

You look like someone,
who could use some help.

– Hi baby
– Mum?

– What are you doing?
– Aiii, Eva! Oh my goodie...

I'm doing... I... ehhhrr

Ok, good - I get it .
We won't disturb. Come on, Oliver.

– Mum need some privacy
– Who was that man?

– It's just good, that mum is moving on.
– See you next week baby. Look forward to it.

– Hi, baby.
– Hi,hi


– It's not about that dog, isn't it?
– YES, it is regarding the dog.

I promise you,
that we will clean after that dog.

Even if you learned it to go to shower
or use a deodorant, I would still say no

You're not allowed to have pets in this building,
unless you're disabled.

– Are you disabled?
– What if the dog is disabled?

So... No.

Is it a no?
You look good in wine red.


"Dear mum. Attend my birthday party
this Sunday ,1 PM, at dads and Bella's place."

"Hugs Oliver, dad and Bella."

Hey, WHAT are you doing?

–Whats this?
– A birthday invitation from my son.

It is not for you.
It is a silly idea.

Hahaha. I think it is funny.

(playing "Happy Birthday")

That's damn funny...


(cellphone beeping)

Come on. Come on. Will you get here,
you naughty little one!

Come on.

Promise me also to find a nice family
for the last dog, right?

– Perhaps we should sell you and keep him instead.
– Dad, you're not funny..

Marlene, damn it. You have clicked
them out, but forgot to take them.

Aii, how stupid I am .....

– Here you go my love.
– Thanks.

- Chug.
- Dad, come on. We have to leave.

What the fuck are you doing?

Tax Appeals Board,
You're talking with Anne – Lise.

No, there is no deduction for that.
Nope, You can't deduct that either.

Bye. Eva. Eva.

Eva. Eva!

Eva, Eva, Eva.
What Am I going to do with you?

I dont know.
What are you going to do to me?

At least not that, you're dreaming about.

I understand perfectly that a lot of females thinks, that this
"50 Shades of Grey" could be a little exiting.

The boss and the helpless employee
bend over the cold desk.

It wont work, Eva. We should also be able
to work together tomorrow.

– No, I don't get it...
– Eva, I'm not stupid.

I noticed how you look after me.
But I can't act on it.

I am in a powerful position, that
I absolutely won't take any advantage of.

It will NEVER happen.

You can calm down. They will have found water on Mars,
before you and I are even close to the copier room.

Yes Yes. If I can sense to
act in a timely manner.

I think it would be wise that you do not attend
in the annual teambuilding seminar.

We'll take Jette instead.
I don't want a case on my neck.

Jette? She is not even here
in our department..

No, but at least she's not smiling at me
in that special way..

No, and neither do I!
I don't smile in any special..

- I'm just trying to be friendly.
- Yeah, You're probably desperate, too.

- Yes. No. No!
- Alone, single, divorced mother. Huh?

Oh, by the way...Ehh...
They have already found water on Mars.

No, no, no.

- There's only 20 minutes.
- Yes Yes.

By the way, I am very happy about
the face cream I bought from you.

- There's nothing in it.
- Neither parabens nor phthalates.

– Hello.
– Hi.

– Sorry I'm late.
– Hi, mum... Hi baby.

What is she doing here? I thought,
it was a PARENT meeting.

No, it's a school-to-home conversation.

Yes, that it is . Welcome to school-to-home conversation.
If I may be allowed start ...

We are really happy to have Oliver in the class....

He actively participates in the lessons.
But we sometimes experience ...

Don't you think it would have been more fair,
if you have talked to me first?

... Oliver is a bit unconcentrated,
so i want to hear you guys ..

How about this? Is this Bellas idea as well?

-So, What do you say, Eva?
- Yeah, What do I say?

Im just telling Oliver occasionally
is a bit unconcentrated, and then I would like to hear...

How is it at home,
if you for example read homework?

When he does homework, yes ... Homework is
not really Oliver's favorite thing.

But, yes - It can create challenges

Just to say, When he is with us, it's actually
going pretty well...

- I just think....We just enjoy it.
- Good idea, yes.

Sometimes Oliver also gets some
candy ..right?

He also gets candies when with me. Now and then.
He also got a biscuit.

With us, it's just dried fruit
and eco nuts.

- My licorice pipe is also organic, I think.
- Maybe we should let the teacher talk.

If we just gets back to
to talk about Oliver.

(birthdaycard is playing)

– Remember...
– Sorry...

It is ok.

- I want to remind you ...
- Mom, honestly.

When you talk a lot, Oliver,
you say what you know in advance.

But if you sometimes ...ehhh..


(birthdaycard is playing)

... shut up.
If you sometimes ...

I think we will just ignore that thing there now...

If you sometimes keep quiet,
you learn something new.

Then you can say something new
and exciting another time.

(birthdaycard is playing low)

So. Yes. You said?
You say?

– Hi.
– Hi.

– Hi. Great to see you Marlene.
– Hi.

- Then it's Ole's turn. Come on in.
- Hi.

- So we're going to a birthday, huh?
- Yes.

- Babe, you're not alone. You have me.
- Yes, otherwise I will not come.

Baby.... Nuuuhhh...

- Look how good friends we've become.
- Yeah, It is very very sweet.

- Don't you want to take a picture?
-Yup, I can do that.

But we can't have a dog there,
where we live.

Why should we stay
in such a shit place?

- We could have it with us.
- Seriously?

Will Olli have you as a birthday present,
your little bandit?...huh?

Should he?
No, shouldn't he?

There's just one from my work,
who bought it.

- Awww.
- Yeah, that's a shame.

- Come on. Let's go out and get an ice cream.
- Yes, do that instead. See you baby...

– Hi.
– Hi.

- You look sad, Oliver.
- The dog is promised away.

- Just let Isabella give him that dog, god dammit!
- Listen to me...They have a huge house.

With sauna, trampoline in the garden
and home theater.

They have geothermal heat, damn it.
And you think they should have a dog also ? It's unfair.

A dog doesn't change that, right? Try to appreciate
that she will be nice to him.

What if she was an idiot,
who didn't like him?

Learn to live with her.
She doesn't disappear after all.

No, unfortunately not..

She is actually pretty cute.

And funny.

– And young.
– Yeah.

Have you started to see each other,
or what?

Steen and Anders are best friends.
What should I do?

Ok, yes

You could try to give her a chance.

- Yes, then it was you, Frida.
- Well thank you.

See you, babe.

Tomorrow we go out the three of us and drink
a cup of coffee together. We will do it.

- For Oliver's sake too, right?
- Marlene. Are you coming?

– What's up?
– I'm afraid I have to cancel.

I had to go acute to the dentist..
It's a superduper pity..

Aww that's not good for you.
What has happened?

Dunno, I think I have bitten in something.
Or maybe it's something wiht the root..

I don't hope I need to have a root chanal treatment.
It is fucking expensive ....

When do you think you will be finish at the dentist?

Well, I think it is around now....

Calm down!
Is it not a date.

Now, you go up and say nicely hello to Bella.
Then I will get some coffee.

– Hell..Hello.
– Hi, Eva.

– Hi..
– Good to..

–It was supernice that we could just hook up.
– Nice. Yeah.

- Your lace ...
- Oh yeah.

Are you okay?
Oh boy. Holy shit.

Nurh, you look like a smurf.

Oh, It's all wrapped up. Sorry.

It looks like the one,
my grandmother dried her hair with.

Those ones they had in the 70's.
Don't think we will get it off using violence..

Here we go..

It is a good idea
getting to know each other better.

– Are you okay?
– Mm.

Your hair has become a little filtered.

Try with a little conditioner. It would help....

(cellphone beeping)


You got a text.

"Going for pheasant hunting on Birkedal
Castle this weekend."

"I think of you all the time.
Hugs, Peter. "


I have fallen in love.

What? With who?

- The father of the new girl in class.
- No!

Listen... I do not understand it. I love Anders, but I
just can't get that guy out of my head.

But, Why didn't you tell me anything?

– Well you have been busy lately.
– Nope.

- I was hoping it would stop all by itself..
- Arh, its because of those hormone pills.


It is so far out. Anders and I are
struggling to have another child.

- I go and dream of someone else.
- Yeah, then you just have to forget about him, right?

Block him on Facebook. Delete him on
your phone. All of it.. Out of your life...

– Doesn't work.
– Did you two...ehhhmm ...?

– No!!
– No??

– And you haven't just ...?
– No!!

– And he didn't go down on you and. ...?
– We haven't even kissed.

– So that is the problem.
– What?

Say what?

Things like this needs to be fucked away.

– Could be what is needed to solve it.
– It is.

Nooo, Marlene.

Do you remember Henrik from high school?
Eva was obsessed by that guy.

But, as soon as she got his pants off,
then he wasn't interesting anymore.

It wass because he had a lot of foreskin
You know. I could do this one....

But, if I'm lucky
Peter might also have something weird..

Or maybe he's boring as fuck.
Then I can forget about him.

Marlene, don't tell me that you consider
to fuck it out of your mind ?

I will help you.

– Seriously? Do you mean that?
– Babe, that's what friends are for...

– Are you ...?
– Listen up...

And then I will arrange a little innocent wellness
weekend near the pheasant hunt for you and I..

– You can't do that.
– No, you cant do that.

You're probably in a hurry
with Oliver's birthday.

If we're just back by Sunday, then I will figure out the rest.
Right now, it's all about you.

–Yeah, Marlene.
– Babe.

– Thanks, Bella.
– Of course.. It will be allright.

Hey, you two!

Then that's what we do. Yes.
We will go for wellness, the three of us..

- Okay. And you want to join too?
- I am going as well.

- Ahaaa, Then we should go on wellness.
- Fine. Then I'll order for three.

This is going to be SO good...

Just a little quickie and then it's out of my head.
It's awesome...

– It's the right thing to do..
– Yeah, and remember I'm there for you all the way..

Yeah, and so am I.
And a little extra also, right?

On Sunday you will say:
"Damn, it was good,-

– That Bella brought me on wellness,
because now I'm going home to Anders."

– What seems to be the plan about that Peter?
– Not really anything. Yet, actually.....

– Don't you have an appointment
– Listen up. I will fix it. Give me the cellphone...

– Have you started writing her texts as well?
– Yup.

Well, it's almost there, that she also
can fuck that guy for you.......

I feel like a big asshole.... do it to save your relationship...

You can't make a damn omelet
without breaking some eggs, right?

Then let's hope that
Anders will get a bite of that omelet, right?

Excuse me, but men didn't do anything but fuck around
since they were monkeys...

So now Marlene will take revenge on all the male monkeys
moral by fucking the father of the new girl in class, or what ?

Nope...Never said that...I just think,
that as females, we must support each other...

Even if you cross the line...
But that is maybe only me ....?

Ok, then it is fixed
He will meet you at the hotel tomorrow..

Oh my God.

It is so sweet of you
to do this for me.....

– Why does he send an eggplant?
– Yeah, I wonder why....

– Because he loves moussaka?
What the fuck do I know? – Shut the fuck up, Eva.

It means that they should do a little more, than just
chat and drink tea.....

– Okay.
– Do you get it now or?

Then I hope the eggplant will only tell something about
the size, and not the color.....

– Then we're here
– Holy fuck....

It looks amazing...

Don't you want to join babe?
Kiss, kiss...

–Are you okay?
- Oh well!

– Sorry. Are you okay?
– Yeah. well, what...

– I didn't think you were stopped
– In a parking lot?

Hashtag: #ParkingDone

I have to entertain 28 kids
in ten minutes.

– Do you have some clothes I can borrow?
– Say what?

Do you have some clothes I can borrow?
I cant arrive like this...

– We will go ahead and check in....
– Super.

– Welcome..
– Thanks.

Isabella Kjaer. I have booked for 3,
but need room for 4...

You're a perfect clown...

Come on...Seriously...Do you mean that?

Honestly. It is in 10 minutes...
We don't have time to buy something...

That's the way it is - Life never turns
out quite the way you expect it....

– Great. Thanks!
– You're welcome.. Hey...

– How do I get my clothes back?
– Do you have a phonenumber?

– Then I have to call you..soo..
– Okay. Super.

Then we can also discuss about that tail light
with the insurance company..

– The Taxboard? Thanks!
–You're welcome. Good luck

Just to make sure you can find the way...

Here is the spa– and pool–area.
Sauna. Massage. And watersport..

This seems to be the most
expensive fuck-around in history ...

– You will have some keys, Here you go..
– How much do you think this will cost you?

I dont think about money,
when my friend is in a crisis.

If the eggplant guy comes tomorrow at the
earliest, what are we going to do now?

We will spend some time fixing Marlene...
And make her hot.. right?

I think we will start in the jacuzzi.
Just go ahead, then I will come later.....

What did I tell you?
She's actually really nice...

Marlene! Now we have two minutes,
before Bella arrives....

Couldn't you put him away for a minute,
so we could have a talk?

Marlene, I've known you and Anders
longer than anyone else, right ?

Are you sure,
this is what you should do?

– Shouldn't you think a little about what you have at home?
– Here comes the champaign...

Bella, we're just having a serious talk right now-
I dont think we should have booze now..

Well that's funny, because I usually never talk
about problems without booze...

– Yeah honestly, Eva.
– Maybe you guys should have a little nap later also ?

You make us sound
like we're some old assholes..

Does this have to be right now?
Bella, We just sat and had a serious talk.

There need to be bubbles. Otherwise it is meaningless.
You don't sit in a sandbox without sand either.

Marlene, it is just...
If you just try to think...

– Think about all the good things about Anders.
– Is it still bothering you?

Arrh. That feels good...

– Do you need to massage her right now Bella?
– She's really good...

If you know Marlene as well
as I do, for several years, –

– then you know, what she loves the most
is actually foot massage.

– Uh!
– Oops, Dammit. Sorry...

Shit, sorry. I needed to get a hold
on my friends foot.

– It is okay.
– No, this is what she likes...

(scream under the water)
Just like this.

– And then a little longer up.
– No!

No, no, no!

– Shit!
– Are you okay?

– Damn, it was good you were so fast, Bella.
– I have been a lifeguard before....


Wans't that just awesome?
She just reacted like this..

Praise her for that.
Or say something else nicely.

- Came with you. Walking around here with naked ass and
a bathingsuit. We share the CR, isn't that enough?

Yes. Kenneth is my name
I am your steam master..

I have brought a wonderful bergamotte steam
with notes of euchalyptus and lillies for you...

A harmonic and beautiful combination,
which really rejuvenates you...

– and it cleans out everything piled up in your body
of bad minds and toxic..

Let's get going .
We will start swinging a little...

Something nicely...

Yeah, yeah...

It's a nice little towel
you have on your head ...

Okay? It is a hotel towel...

Remember to breathe...
In it goes...

I really don't know, what to buy for Olli
as a birthday present ..

He's only talking about that dog.
What do you think I should do?

Dunno, What do you say, Eva?
You got an idea?

I think it is hot.
I will just go outside to get some air.

– Ouch. Goddammit!!
– Sorry.

It's really bad style
walking out in the middle of a steam.

Okay. I'm sorry..

We need to add more water
to increase the temperature again.

(angry scream)

Here we gooo... Really good!

You're so sweet. I'm so happy
that I got to know you.

I don't even feel,
that you're ten years older than me

That's really good...

– OUCH! Goddammit!!
– Now you need to make up your mind.

– Are you going out, or are you in?
– I'm in.

– Are you okay?
– Yup, I'm fine.

(cellphone pling)

It's from Peter.
Why do I have to wait till tomorrow?

– She is here.
– Can she check, if she have it?

– Do you have the key for Olivers bike?
– Nope, why should I have it?

Oliver has been looking all over,
so Steen ask you to check again.

Tell Steen,
that I will look for it now.

– Well?
– You were right baby. She got them.

– Who put it there?
– I will go now.

– Do you like to use tampons?
–Well... I use tampons.

Didn't you try OrganiCup?

It's so nice, and really good for
your natural bacteria culture in the vagina.

– That's awesome.
– Think it over.

Yeah. Geez.

– You have to remember these.
– Thanks..

I'm really happy,
that you joined.

Do you remember, when we had
being out partying, and slept together?

– Eva, you got lice!

– No.
– Yes.

Fuck! It has been sent out
on the parent intranet a thousand times.

I think it's better,
that I sleep with Bella.

I can't lay with Peter
tomorrow, having lice....

Would it be ok,
if you just swap with her?

We can do that.

Good night...

(laughter from Marlene's room)

– Leave a message.
– Hi, baby. It's mum.

I just wanted to say good night.
It might be that you're already asleep.

Yup, we will just talk tomorrow.
Okay, good night...

(cellphone is ringing)

– It's Eva.
– It's Jan. The clown accident, you know.

– You should have your clothes back
–Oh yeah...

But I'm in the drugstore.

That's perfectly fine. I need something
from the drugstore myself.

– Just stay there. I'm nearby...
– Okay...

– See you.
– Hi.

– Hi.
– Hi.

– Oh, there it is.
– Yes, thanks for letting me borrow it.

That was a lot funnier and "clown-alike"
than my own dress...

– I will take that as a compliment.
– I wouldn't do that.

Thanks, and sorry about the car.

It's a real mess.
I don't have any insuran...

Could we do it without involving
the insurance company?

I'ts only a small damage,
and my friend owns a garage.

I'll fix it myself...

But you need to pick up
your medication, or?

Nope, D–vitamine for my sister
She just got her second baby.

Oh, congrats.

Her big sister don't think so.
She's jealous in the little new one...

She wishes,
that she has never been born.

Understandable... To share
the one, you love the most, –

– with someone, you didn't choose..
That suddenly stands there and is...

...number one
sort of.....

A little new one, that can do anything...
Or can do nothing, it's a baby.

But perhaps is cute and has bows.
And every one is standing, clapping.....


– How about you? What did you buy?
– I just bought myself some...

Well it's actually not for me.
Only some cough medicine.

For a sick friend...

– She's having a little cough?
– Exactly.

I'm also a clairvoyant.
People call me Clairvoy–Jan.

People are exited.
Clown and a clairvoyant.

I can read your future.
Give me your hands.

– I just.....
– Can we make it? Do you dare?

– Now I'm looking...Wow!
– Totally wrong right?

No, it's actually really good. You will meet
a really sweet guy.

Smart, intelligent.
Green eyes...

– Red nose.
– Alcoholic?

– No, I was lying. I'm only a clown.
– 751.

– It's me. But....... Yes.
– 751.

Yeah, it's me.. Coming right up..

– Hi.
– Hi.

Where are you two going?

We need to make Marlene a little hot,
before Peter arrives.

– Wanna come?
– Sure.

– A brazilian wax , really?
– Try to look here.

Should not be a naked monkey. They
have a lot of vagina haircuts.

I'll keep, what I already have....

It doesn't make much sense, when
one has no one to show it to.

We got pierced our ears together.
We should have trimmed the beaver together.

I need to pee first...

– Thanks for today...
– You're welcome- Who's next?

Mine is too short,
so I will pass.

There should be a little left to pull....

– Come with me.. It's not that bad.
– Come on.

Yeah, I will do it....

– You need to take off your panties first.
– Yes.

Ooops. Hello...

– You're in the wrong place..
– That's my son.

He is sick today, and joins me at work.

He doesn't look, he's gaming on his iPad.
You need to turn around.

– He can't wait outside?
– Nope, I have to observe him a little.

But he doesn't look.

– Okay.
– First, I will disinfect the area.

– I could come another day?
– You need to lay still.

It's actually only me,
who's seeing it.

– And your son. He's sitting there watching...
– No, he's gaming on his iPad....

Could you spread your butt-cheeks a little,
so I can get all the way down in the crack?

– Hi.
– What? What now?

Is everything okay?

No. That boy there is watching.

– OUCH! GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!
– It's only good you get it off.

–You also got some gray hair.
– Could you give me that one?

Maybe one single gray hair.

And then you need to turn
around on the other side.

– Yes.
–Then we will take the other side.

– I need to have some work space.
– You can wait outside.

You can do that..

– What are you actually giving Olli for his birthday?
–I bought some different stuff.....

I will ask Marlene about that dog again.
I would have to give her a good offer.

– I won't disturb further. Hi...
– Hi...

I need to get some
wider strips.


– Did you give Bella the dog?
– No! Relax and get it done....

I need to be ready for Peter.

– Needs to rest a little.
– Come on, let's switch....


It was you!

Aiiii, Carl!

Baby, come over here...

Look what you just did
to the ladys butthole.

– Look at this.
– Damn! Doesn't look good.

No. You need to get it cooled down.
Get some ice on it.

Okay. What will slide up the easiest?

Is this too big?

– Cornetto?
– No wafer for me!

– No!
– There's an Astronaut ice cream.

No there's a little gummybear in it...

– Take a Twister or a Lightning Stick..
– I can handle a little Filur.

– That's what we will do.
– Yes.

– We have to cancel with Peter.
– Why didn't you just kept laying down?

How does it go down here?

I am in my way in my 40's
and is above to...

How is it going now?

Just hit me,
if you feel like that.

You can bite my finger,
if you need to let out some steam....

Yes. Just bite! Get it out!!

That's it. Enough.
I need my finger back!

Now I will call Peter
and get it all under control.

I need your cellphone...

Everything is good. Yes.

He just thinks, that you're having
a migraine.........

The hunt will start Saturday,
so he will be ready tomorrow....

– Oh my God. Thanks babe...
– Anytime...

It's exiting, huh?

I don't think she is ready for that.
You look like a horny female baboon.

– Come on!!
– Sorry. Now I will change the ice cream....

It will make it to heal in time...
You will get some of my magic lotion...

You will be more beautiful
than ever in that end....

Your magic lotion???

– What kinda lotion is that?
– Same as Pjerrot, The Clown in Tivoli, is using

Just for the asshole....

It is a bleaching lotion
to lighten the dark area....

- Then it becomes more festive to look at.
– Okay.

Does it now have to be festive
to look down there?

When did you look the last time?

– Well it becomes darker with age....
– Like the tree-rings in a tree....

I wouldn't choose
Hormones for medical purposes.

– But does this helps just as well?
– Not necessarily.

But this is just the food.
You also need to exercise more....


(cellphone ringtone)

Well. Just a minute..

Eva is facetiming..
What does she want?

Seems like a discount in the salon....

– You understand me now?
– Yes.


Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!


Something wrong??

Damn it's a long time since,
I smoked one of these....

This is some heavy shit....
Really a long time ago...

"Heavy shit!!"

Imagine, that all in my department
have seen my ass.

Your asshole....

It is a very very tiny little asshole,
they have seen.

Very tiny...

– They will forget it again...
– Yeah....

Nahhh, they won't ever forget it....

– When is Peter arriving?
– In 4.5 hours.

Then I will finally get him out
of my world.........

When will Peter arrive?

Now it is 4 hours and 29 minutes...

Ok. How crazy it is....

Won't work. 4 hours
and 27 minutes this way...

We have to find out something..
I know what we should do...

Looks crazy!
Isn't it dangerous?

No, no. Not dangerous at all.
The instructor knows what he is doing.

He won't do anything,
that she isn't ready for....

– Is this your friends?
– Yes.

He is really
having a good look at me, huh?


The instructor..

Okay? Ehh...
I don't notice that at all...

That he should have
"had a good look on you".

He seems like the type,
who looks that way in everyone.

See. Now he's looking at me....

– He did?
– Yes, he did.

Bella, have a look. Look how he's
looking at me now...

– Just because I'm laughing a little..
– But does he looks at me or at you?

– Let's just say he's looking at you.
– We won't say anything.....

– He's looking at me.
– What in the hell is she doing?


Look, she's flying!!!

Okay, you were right.
He was looking at you.

I can't stand
to cancel with Peter again..

Give me your other hand.

While I put Marlene's shoulder
back in place, one of you can wait outside.


– I think it's best that I stay.
– No, I will stay. I Know Marlene the best.

I know everything about her medication
and tetanus vaccines..

Great! I just need some working space.
If you will go over here, then...


Nurrrhhh, Marlene babyyyy...

I got a great idea. I will call
Anders. Then he can come, –

– and then Bella and I will go home...
Then you guys can relax here.

– Have a great time, get it all cooked down..
– It could be....

That doesn't make Peter
stop haunting me in my mind....

Now, let's stick to the plan, and then we
need to get you to participate in that hunt.

I can't show up in the middle of a
pheasant hunt and borrow a bedroom.

Yup, If you know someone who has,
a hunting license. I have that.

I have been shooting deers and ducks,
since I was 18 years old.

– I can get us an invitation
– Bella, you're simply too awesome!

– Isn't she just too awesome?
– Yup..

Then we're going hunting.


My idea actually was, that you should
be more comfortable with Bella.

– But she doesn't make it easy for me.
– Because she wants to help me?

So will I.
Your crisis is my crisis..

– It has become too much for you.
– No, no . Not at all!.

Just let me know what I should do...

You could stay in the background
during the hunt.

– Say what?
– It's my last chance.

Bella got this shit. Okay?

Now we just do as she says....


If that's what you want ...

Then... Then I'm ready.

Did you find something?

I might as well have an affair
in the middle of Copenhagen cityhall area..

There's a party afterwards,
if you don't finish what you need to do.

– Hey!
– You're fucking not patting that dog!!

It's totally crazy.
It's the landowners dog. Go away!

– Hi. What the fuck are you doing here?
–Seems like we're going to shoot some pheasants.

– What are you doing here?
– I know Andreas, the landowner.

– Do you have a hunting license?
– I used to play Counter–Strike.

If you want to shoot the other hunters,
it's a good idea....

– Well it is hunting season, right?
– Ssshh. Quiet. The landowner has started.

...a good hunt. I can see that.
You're all heavily armed...

As told we have four areas for hunting,
two before lunch, and two after lunch.

You're allowed to shoot snipes,ducks
and pheasants....

It's NOT allowed to shoot below
45 degrees from horizontal position.

Then I want to wish everyone a great hunting. Should
we greet each other with a snifter?

– Cheers!
– Cheers! Break a leg.

(horn fanfare)

– Then we just needs beer and some pussy.
– Do you have an extra shotgun we can borrow?

Yeah, I got something in the car.
I will just check what I have.

Oh my God, there he is..

– Aiii... What am I going to say to him?
– Ask if you can be his loader....

– Loader?
– Yeah, the girl who loads his gun.

Peter, do you have a minute?

– Yeah sure.
– I want you to see my new toy...

– What do you think?
– Is it a Blaser?

– F16, man.
– Holy crap!!

– You wanna hold it?
– Right now?

– Yeah, you got any better things to do?
– No, of course not...

– Then come...
– I will get in touch with you a little later.

Great! You just lost it all
to a shotgun.....

He needs to be an idiot, so all you think is
"let me get home to Anders".

Cheer up, huh?
You got me....

– So, it is pretty much straightforward.
– Yup, how wonderful. Thanks.

– You're welcome. And break a leg.
– Thanks. Likewise.

Ehmm, say......
You wanna walk together with me...?

Yeah. Yeah, it's...

If you can take this.....

– But I better go with them.
– That's okay.

Maybe we will see each other later. To the party.
Break a leg.

Yup. Break a leg..

Damn, it is so cool,
that she owns a hunting license.

Did you see that?
Damn, she's too wild....

– Could I give it a try as well?
– Not without a hunting license.

– Says who?
– Law about firearms, article 2, chapter 1.

And definetely not, when you
have been drinking...

I had one... four to five, max,
of that Gammel Dansk liquor.

Can you pick it up? I just need to
mark the terrain, as they call it..

(babbling sound)

(gun shot)

– What the fuck are you doing?
– I think I shot a hare.

We're going for pheasants today, right?
But I just saw that hare... and then ..bang!

Well, then I hope for you that it is dead.

– Otherwise we need to find it.
– Yes, it made such a death knell.

It's laying over there.

–A hare?
– Eva, goddammit.

Yes. Oops, dammit.
It jumped just like a...

How hard can it be?
It's not a hare. It's a dog.

You could be forgiven for an
eagle, but a hunting dog?

Do you know how fucked we actually are?

– The fur is full of shots.
–Of course, it is a hunting dog, right?

Aii. It will be ok.

Eva. Eva, stop.
Stop, stop. It's dead.

Fuck. It's the landowners dog.

No, no, no, no, no...

We will give him your puppy.

Didn't you gave that away already?

– I thought so as well.
– Yes, we cannot do that.

– I'm going to lose my hunting license because of this.
– Let's all calm down now....

– We tell them it was me.
– But so it was.

– Eva, goddammit!
– Goddammit! I will say that as well.

We need to get rid of it.
Peter could show up...

Down under with you...!

Okay. Then we need to make a Little
Red Ridinghood. Fill it up with rocks.

Styr lige dit One–woman–show!

We've got a giga problem.

– I agree, that we have a problem.
– Peter must not find out about this.

What about ...?

– Well, then I could escape a little.
– Wonderful!

Hi. Hi.

– Bella was just about to show us how.....
– How you do hunting.

How ...? Yes..

– Yes.
– Yes.

– That's because she has a hunting license.
– I could have shown you as well.

I'm actually pretty good.

–Has anyone seen Rocco?
– No.

– I simply can't find him.
– Nope...

– We didn't see a dog.
– I don't hope something has happened to him.

We didn't see anyone...
I would try somewhere else.

I think,
there's a really good spot for dogs over there.

We will find him, Andreas.
I just need to...

You gotta help him
find his dog Peter.

Well? Well,okay. Yes.

– I just thought that...
– You're seeing each other at the party. There's a party

– Well, then we will go searching.
– Yes.

If we can't get rid of it,
we have to kill it.

In a natural way.
Like in an accident.

– A car is coming.
– Bloody hell!

– The legs are not stiff enough.
– We will throw it.

You got it?
Okay, are you ready?

1, 2, 3...

– It will be on "now"!
– Always on "3"!

– Fuck.
- Why did you throw it up so high?

-Because Eva is throwing upwards
-Eva, we have to throw straight.

It is not going straight!
It should go down in front of the car, right?

It shouldn't be down here.

Marlene says , that we're throwing it up too high.
Should it be all the way down here?

Then let's get it moving.
Here comes a dog...

– Now one more is coming.
– Arrh, goddammit!!

– 1, 2...
– No.

– Are you able to cooperate a little?
– Do as Bella tells you.

I dont know what to say.
I think it is better that you go...

You could also say, that... It wasn't
actually Marlenes fault

She is not guilty of anything,
so she could actually stay.

Yes, but the party is canceled.
I think, it would be a little weird....


But ok, then we will go..

Please remind Andreas ,
that the dog was a total wacko.

I met it... it was..

So maybe it was the best that way...

...that it ... dead.

And then it really looked
like a hare out in...

– Do you got anything else, or ...?
– No, I think we will just go...

– There goes that hunting license..
– How about a little music?

...ue friends
cannot be bought for money

True friends cannot be bought for...

Well, it could be the destiny.....

Somebody is shielding you,
so you don't fuck up.

If that's true, why isn't someone
from above shielding you?

You barely don't do anything but fuck up.

Aren't you suppose
to get better along with Bella?

Well actually, I think
that it's starting to get better.

Then I can give her the dog,
or what?


Yes. Aiiii, thanks a lot.
It's a great help.

Yes. Hi...

Okay, saved by the bell.
Peter will arrive shortly..

– How did you do that???
– I asked the clown to comfort the land owner..

I also made him promise to attend
Ollis birthday....

But then I need a shower, and try to
find out, what to do...

– I dont have anymore clean panties!
– Well, you can just borrow some from me...

Awesome! Then the two of you could
share a little vaginal yeast infection, I guess....

Now that's enough, Eva.

This is important to me. Just keep a little
of those things you promised....

It is Oliver's birthday tomorrow,
and finally I have the chance to fuck it all away.

Okay, Eva. Now you go in,
and then you give Bella a chance.

Yes, you do.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

– What are you looking for?
– A cooking pot for my OrganiCup.

It needs to be boiled.

I've heard that there's a lot of young girls,
using such a thing.

– I think I need to get one for myself as well.
– I am just using this one .

– How do I look?
– Babe, you're ready to be eaten.

– Aiiii...
– Really.

Bella, I smelled
one of your creams.

I was thinking if I shouldn't
try one of them....

Yeah, of course.
What is your skintype ?

Do you have dry skin,
or is it more like greasy?

I don't know....
That's your department....

– Oh my God. He is here....
– Okay. good.

Good luck!

Well. Then she will finally
get it out of her system, huh?

A little crazy it succeeded
after all the fuckups you made....

I think it's the worst idea in the world.
Doesn't solve anything. Rather, on the contrary...

Then why did you attend on this trip?

I did ,
because this is what Marlene wants...

I'm the best friend of Marlene,
so of course I will help her...

Shouldn't you then
be honest to her?

Well, it's none of my business. You will
get my anti-age Bellassage–creme.

I'm sure you will like it...

It's a bad idea
to use that electric cooker.

Is there anything,
that you don't interfere in on this trip ?

– If I were you, I wouldn't drink that tea...
– Okay.

– And how does it taste??
– Tastes real good.. Peppermint...

What else would it taste like?

Well maybe a little of vagina...

Then it is no worse,
huh? No, relax now.

If Peter is going down on Marlene now,
then he will have the exact same flavor in his mouth.

Don't go in there!

You don't tell me, what to do
or not to do!

They aren't even finish yet...

Marlene? Hi....

– Drop this, will ya?.
– Would you please be kind to leave?

All this "fuck it all away" –project
is totally whacko ....

Try to have a look. Have a look!!!
Is this better than Anders'? Hardly not...

No matter how many times
he tells you, that you're sexy –

– you would still be
depressed about your age...

And that floppy eggplant will never
correct that....

Just because you don't get root crops...

Eggplant is a vegetable. I could
have gotten artichoke. Banana. Pear....

I could even have gotten a baguette.
I could have fucked a greengrocer!

But you don't feel like you want anything.
And why?

You blame Bella for everything
instead of looking at yourself.

- Can't you be a real friend?
- A real friend like Bella?

Yes. Someone who is not self-pitying,
so there is room for other people's problems.

Okay , fine! In the future, Go ahead, then call
your real friend Bella, -

- and make her help you
with your life crises. All the crises!

Are you supposed
to be best friends?

– I fucking don't know anymore!
– Actually, me neither....

Well, I will leave now,
then you can fuck and break a leg...

Are there any problems??

I just think,
that you should get dressed...

Where are you going?
Will I see you at the birthday?




Are you okay?

– Yeah.
– On your way to kung–fu training?

I think I will wait to laugh later when
I'm home, if it's ok with you...?

– Shouldn't you comfort that land owner?
– Yup, he felt asleep during a cognac.

I just want to know....I have to act
for your son's birthday.

Is there anything I need to know about him?
Some special wishes, or whatever....?

Thats not my department. Unfortunately.
Talk with his amazing stepmum....

– Already tried to call. She doesn't pick up the phone..
– Okay.

Maybe it's because she is out taking selfies
with her new best friend..

How about you? What are your plans right now?

I don't know....

I should just...

Maybe I just need to realize,
that I can easily be replaced.. ...Just like this!

I was so stupid to think I meant
something for someone. Be careful with that!

When I feel like that,
do you know what I do then?

Come on.

Come on. Get under the water...

It's actually true
You're just like born again...

Ehhh.. hello.. I'm Jorgen.

Hello Jorgen,
Did you see Eva, who was just here before?

Because I liked her a lot....

I think you're the only one right now
that likes her...

I cannot attend
that birthday...

Why not? I can't...
What do you think your son will say about that?

No matter what I do,
it will end up in a failure, right?

Either I stand alone and ends up being a
fool. Or I'm not coming at all.....

Then people think I'm a selfish
idiot, who's is letting her son down...

– Hmm, sounds rough..
– Yeah, It is....

I just wish that,
I could give him that dog....

But... Isn't it just about that you should attend the
party, and be somebody for your son??

Unless you can't cope with it...
Then you just have to stay away.

Of course I can cope with it..

I can be somebody for my son...
It's not what it's all about...

– Huh? What is it all about then?
- Yes, it's about ...

It's about everything that you and I,
sitting here...and chatting about...

– Which is ?
–Yeah....Which is...

Ok. You know what? I dont feel like I'm not gonna
sit here and being cross-examined by a clown.

– God damn!
- Yes, thank you for tonight.


OK, A box of beer every Friday on your doormat!
Do we have an agreement?

Get it in your brain! You're not allowed to have a dog...
You're not allowed to have a cat...

I can max. allow a
a dwarf hamster. For distress a rabbit.

And those beers,
better be cold next time....

– Do I hear a litte yes?
– NO!

You're going to be his best present....

Here you go....Wait there,
then I will come back and pick you up in a while....

– Hi, baby
– Hi, mum.

my favorite big boy....


I hope Anders will arrive,
before Olli starts unpacking his presents.

I don't think I can look him in his eyes...
What should I say to him...??

- I have such a bad conscience.
– Well, you didn't even fuck...

–Yeah, but anyway... It was THIS close......
– Hiii baby.....

– Hi.
– What was it that was so close???

Yeah, uhmm, that I burnt
the birthday cake.....

– Hi mum...
– Hiii baby...

Aii, gross!!

– Well, now I have tried to be missed...
– Sorry, I've been a little distant lately...

Yeah, you have been a little distant, but
don't you think it is just those stupid pills?

Actually, I also think
I just had a little midlife crisis as well...

– Are you okay?

– Welllll...
– Well, well, well?

– I heard you had a great time..
– You only heard it from one side!

No, actually I heard it from two...
Seems like you behaved like an idiot...

I hope you will be better,
in controlling yourself here...

– It is carrots from The Lammefjord...
– Wow.

– I think it will be good for you...
– Yeah, could it be anything else???

And I guess this must be a dip made by Bella's
ecological asshole cremé Bellassage???

Eva, damn it!

Move on.....

I know someone, who would love this
one. Will you let me pass?

(silent whining)

You're fucking kidding me...

Holy fuck...


What? Doggie? Doggie?

Come, come. Doggie?

...shouldn't be too much.
When Olli get's it, he would like to have...

– Arh, there they were..
– Hiiii.

– What are you doing?
– I was looking......

– And found my keys...
– We're going to pick up Olli's present....

– Yeah, shouldn't he be allowed to unwrap it now?
– NO!

We need to sing a birthday song before that..
It's a tradition.

– We were'nt being that upright
– Well, I actually think we were!!

We have been...
You have been, A lot.....

And you were...

– I will just have a check...
– No! That is what we used to do!

Olli is a divorce-child
and then he need that song..

They do best with etablished frameworks.
You don't know that. You know that now.

Olli has a birthday,
and he has, and it is today

Olli has a birthday,
and he has, and it is today

and now listen up...

I will go out for a pee.
Will be back very soon.

Come on...

–Well, you decided to attend anyway?
– Yup, I did .

– Are you looking for something?
– No, what?

I dont know.
A little "I'm sorry" maybe?

– Want to come in?
– No, i have to pee.

So you're not able to use Bellas CR?

Olli has a birthday,
and he has...

I know I've been an idiot.

how we all want to drum

I will go out and pick up the dog..


Then I think it is about time for your present.

We should also have that one with the guitar.

It's really good, and it's part of
the song. Here it comes... 1, 2, 3.

Olli has a birthday,
and he has, and it is today

Olli has a birthday,
and he has, and it is today

The dog is gone.
It's not in the car. It's vanished.

– Eva!
– Yes?

– Where's the dog?
– The dog?

– Bellas present for Oliver.
– Do I get it anyway?

Yes. If your mom will tell us,
where it is.

– Why do you think it is me?
–What is you?

– Exactly.
– Please stop it.

You were constantly opposed,
that Bella should give him that dog.

– Not constantly.
– How was it then?

- Yeah, how was it?
- Mom, is it true?

How nasty you are! Just because
you hate Bella. I know!

I don't hate Bella, right?

I think it's a little difficult.
It is something else.

- What did you do to that dog?
- I'll go out and find it.


Baby, now I will go out
and find that dog.


If you have a problem with me,
why should it hit a little puppy?

- Think if it's been run over.
- Fortunately, it's a quiet road.

Come! Doggie!

While the girls find that dog, we need
something to laugh at, right?

- Yes!
- Give a big applause to the clown Fups!

Can one get a little smile, Oliver?

How could you do it?
Do you only think about yourself?

- says the unfaithful lady.
- I didn't do it, right?

- Did Bella talked you out of it?
- No, you did, you idiot.

Do I hear a little "Thank you" ?

Maybe if you wasn't
so fucked up all the time.

She doesn't take anything from you. Why
is it that you now think you're not worth a damn?

There it is! No! No!


– There it is.
– Is there another door?

I will take it.

Try to think, "How can I
help my sideman get out? "

Yes, yes - That's really good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Whats up?

– Why are you not picking it up?
– My boss is in there.

– Hold on now - Stop!
– I facetimed my ass for him...

Definitely. Your boss is right
in there with your dentist.

I don't want.
Now I'll get it myself.

Now I will pick it up..

Very good. Good thinking there.

I suggested the same.
But only Jette gets the praise.

Now.. can't we just
take it easy and quiet?

I don't believe it!

– Hello.
– Eva, time to stop now. Right?

Please keep your pants on...

No, all that stuff
is one big misconception.

Right now, I'm just gonna have it...

I can promise you one thing, and
you should not.

– Yes.
–You need serious help.

– No, no ! It's about this size
– Well is it ??

– And then it is all black
– Well I can't help you on that, I'm afraid.

– No.
– She is sick

That's good. There you are!
Come here, my little friend. Come ... will be really good....

I can feel,
how the collaboration is rolling. Hi!

There you go!

Was it really that hard?


You're fired!!

– It's your boss
– I told you so!

– He cannot just fire you
– He just did...

Hey, you can't do that!

It might be that Eva is an idiot,
but at least she's a loyal idiot.'ll give it to him...

Of course, you should be allowed to
to make him happy.

– Are you sure?
– Yes.


I know, I sometimes
can take up too much space.

I've just been a little jealous.

I've never tried to have
such a really close friend.

Like you and Marlene.

I'm not really
best friend–material.

In turn, you are young.
You are beautiful. You are sweet.

You are rich, you are talented.
A bit hard to compare with.

If you knew how often Olli
talks about what you usually do together.

And when he's upset,
he only wants his mother.

It certainly sounds strenuous.

– Thanks, Bella.
– You're welcome.


– Is it hard?
–A little.

– But it's also a little nice.
– Way to go.

Look, mum.

Yeah baby ..It's so sweet...

– Congrats baby.
– Thanks.

Thanks for today.
And congrats with the dog, Oliver.

– Hi.
– Hi.

Hey. Hey.


I've been a little bit absent here lately.


You were right.

So...I'm sorry!

– That's ok.
– Can I show you something?

Holy moses!
Hopefully this is not for me.

Maybe we could ask her,
whether she wants to go for a walk.

Come on little darling..

English Subtitles: Hans Gylling