Hugo Pool (1997) - full transcript

You've reached the Hugo Pool Company.

This is you-know-who.

Leave your message
right after the you-know-what.

Hugo Dugay. It's you-know-who.

You know, I just went out to take a swim,
and my pool was empty.

Fill me back up by 6:30 tonight.

Chic, she can't do that
because of the drought.

If she puts water in an empty pool
and gets caught, there's a $10,000 fine.

You stay out of this.

And if you water your lawn, it's $8,000,

and if you get caught washing your car,
it's $5,000!



Don't listen to this lunatic, Hugo.
She's a drinker.

Just do what I tell you.

If there's a fine, I'll split it with you.

Don't trust Chic Chicalini. He's a bozo!

Hey, you leave me alone
or I'll find somebody who will!

- Go ahead!
- Shut up!

You shut up!

You've reached the Hugo Pool Company.

This is you-know-who.

Leave your message
right after the you-know-what.

Miss Dugay,

I can tell by the sound of your voice

that we can do business.

Good people tell me that you're



the prettiest pool person in the Canyon.

My name is Floyd Cayleo.

1739 Catatonic Pass Road.

I need your special expertise.
Looking forward. Gracias.

You've reached the Hugo Pool Company.

This is you-know-who.

Leave your message
right after the you-know-what.

Hugo...

It's your mother. I can't sleep.

Please come see me today.
I'll never ask again.

Good morning!

Good morning.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I need chemicals, please.

OK.

How many pools today?

44. Maybe 45.
I might have a new customer.

- Wow. Good luck.
- Thank you.

OK. Oh...

While I load up...

...get your father.

He's in the back.
He's been here all night.

Is he stoned? Is he loaded?
Is he blasted out of his mind?

I have nothing to compare to.

Hi, Dad.

Yo, sister.

There's something you gotta know.

I'm off the snow, no more blow
and the vodka had to go.

There's only one thing left that I still do.

And that's the ring-dang-doo.

Don't panic.

I'm here to be of service and much love.

But first... I need $5,000 to join AA.

- Since when do they charge?
- They don't, sister.

Frankly speaking, I need the bread,
so I can get into a serious rehab.

I'm a little shaky today.

Will you help me?

I need you to help me today, Dad.

You got me, sister.

I'm not your sister.
You're my father. I'm your daughter.

No sister in sight.

You and your brother
are marijuana accidents.

Brother?! What brother?

I thought I had a son.

No.

Why are you looking so depressed?

Got a long day ahead of me, Dad.

Where's the quickest place
to get a water truck?

Well, I only know of one.

It's a beaut, though. Top of the line.

- Brendan Cavanagh.
- Great. Thank you!

See you tomorrow.
Come on, Dad. Move it or lose it.

See you tomorrow.

Are you the Dugays?

That's us, mister. Hugo and Henry.

How are you doing?

My dad's going to pick up a load
of water, so he needs a set of wheels.

Can you handle my baby?

Or are you too old?

Not as old as I look.

Six gears is nothing to me, man.

I can't be too possessive.
Gotta let her out every once in a while.

Jealousy is the worst emotion there is.

Where is she?

She's in her crib.

And have her back by midnight!

Well, where am I going?

The Colorado River
is where you're going, fast.

It's 89 miles
to where it comes into California.

When you get there,
you suck 3,000 gallons

out of the river and into the truck.

Then you zip on back
to 2533 Lemaline Lane.

And that's where we fill up
the pool of Chicalini by 6:30 tonight.

If I can't pull this off,
I don't deserve rehab.

Hey, I'd advise you to stay away from me
if you don't get this job done.

Give me a chance, bro.

Chances are taken, not given.

I'm on the case.

You'd better be, Dad.

Hey.

Hmm?

I like your vehicle.

Well, it's not mine. But it is mine today.

I'm going to go to the Colorado River,
pick up a load and then come right back.

What's the cargo?

Can't tell until we get there.

That's fine by me.
I've never been to Colorado River.

But I have an aunt in Denver.

Your shoes are exquisite.

You're a gentleman.
They're few and far between.

You got a name, bro?

No questions, please.

Henry Dugay. Give me four.
Five is too jive.

Yeah!

My hand's on fire with camaraderie.
My skin burns with bonding.

Thank you.

Your shoes are longing and lusting
to be mine.

- How much did you pay for them?
- I'll never tell.

There are only five pairs of these shoes
in the world, and they're all registered.

Ah.

- Mr Mazur?
- Uh-huh.

It's Hugo.

- What can I do?
- Nothing.

The deed is done, and so am I.

Yesterday, as the sun was setting -
a magic hour -

I began directing the first shot
of my new movie,

entitled Rebel Without a Suitcase.

Congratulations.

What for? For what? Why?

Because simply, as I start the first scene
with my leading lady,

I say, with enthusiasm, "Action!"

I notice immediately problem.

Background extra...
jumping around like kangaroo.

Plus, laughing.

"Cut.

"Excuse me, Mr Extra.
Hello. Franz Mazur, director.

"Please, next time, consolidate,
bring it down, be still."

But he says,
"I will not be still for nobody.

"But especially not for a hack like you."

I remove my pistol from my pocket.

I fire three shots
into this pretentious ham!

When he hits the deck,
he is as dead as a dead man can be.

So... Rebel Without a Suitcase
has been shut down.

Which is infuriating me, because
it would have been my best effort.

I wrote it all by myself
with the charlatan who wrote the novel.

Can you give me a lift?

Where to?

Uh... half a mile or so.

I'll just go in my house
and do something big-time,

then I'll double-split with you.

Hey, how come you're not in jail?

I was. For, like, a little while.
Now I'm out on bail.

Thank God it's Los Angeles.

I'll get over this.

Well, you've got to do something
for the environment.

Maybe I'll work with
a little community service! Ah, yes.

I'm coming!

Franz? Yes?

Can I come in? Of course.

I'm coming inside now.

Why? I don't know.

What's that?
Well, you'll see in a minute.

What are you going to do?

Oh, come on, don't be a spoilsport.

Just wait. I'll tell you in a minute.

Thank God it's done.

What's done?

My house. I set it on fire.

- Why?
- Insurance.

I need the money.
You don't mind, do you?

It's none of my business.

The smoke is arousing me.

Right over here by this bush.
That's my bush.

You know, the question is,
if I am found not guilty

of murdering this insignificant extra
scum... bucket...

... will I then be known about town
as an ex-murderer?

- Not to me, pal.
- Oh, not to you.

How's by you? Fine by me.

Well, I'm off like a dirty shirt.

I knew you'd come through.

So, what's up?

I need you to help me.

And that means you've got to stay
with me all day and do something.

OK. Do you want to know
what's going on in my life?

No.

And listen up, Ma,
when I get out of the truck, you get out.

We do each pool as quick as we can.

You scoop the leaves out.
I put the chemicals in.

There's 39 more pools
and already I'm running late.

I'm in a lot of pain.

The usual?
You're so perceptive.

The race was supposed to be fixed,
but of course nobody told my horse.

Finished last. $4,800.

I'm in so much trouble with my bookie,

who says, by the way,
that if I don't pay him off today,

I have to have sex with him.

Be thankful he thinks
you're worth that much.

That hurt me
more than you'll ever know.

I'll forgive you.

- Let's forget, OK?
- Forgotten.

I smell your father's cheap cologne.

What is that? Essence of Goon?

Was he in here today?

Dad is working with me today.

Ugh. My feet are killing me.
I'm not doing this.

How much do you owe your bookie?

$4,800.
Ma!

$750.

I knew it wasn't $4,800.

Great. Now I'm not going to have
anything to bet with.

Forget bets.
You're getting paid to help me.

Really?
Yeah.

Just finish on your feet
and I'll give you the $750.

And then you'll be done with this man.

And then what do I do?
You quit.

Quit what?
Gambling.

Are you out of your mind?!

Playing horses is not gambling.

It's the sport of kings.

OK, at least grab the chemicals.
Do something!

Give me a minute and 30 seconds,

then you come in and do the pool,
and don't even talk to me.

It'll be impressive, Ma.

Hi. Mr Gaylen?

Hugo Dugay.

What I have is not contagious.

What is it?

ALS - amyotrophic lateral sclerosis,
also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

And he was a great baseball player,
and I wasn't so bad myself.

Where's your pool?

I don't have a pool.

Then, pray tell, why am I here?

To build me a very special pool,

so that I can be lowered into the water
on a pulley system

and do my range-of-motion exercises.

Well, how about I come back tomorrow
and we make a plan?

I'd like that.

Andy, say hello to Hugo Dugay.

- Howdy, Hugo.
- Hi.

Andy is my caregiver.

Andy feeds me and lifts me
and scratches the top of my head,

and anything else I need.

- Which way to the pool?
- No pool, Ma.

Mr Gaylen, this is my mother, Minerva.

Please call me Floyd.
Hello. Excuse me.

Shit.

How long have you been
in that wheelchair?

123 days.

Up until then,
I was getting along with a Quirky Gait.

- What's that?
- It's a horse!

Quirky Gait is a horse
that's in today's races.

OK, just let me see.
Oh, Mom...

Oh, man.

OK, let's see.

OK, he's never won, but he's recently
been gelded, so he's focused.

Quirky Gait, second race.
He's 30 to 1 and he's got a shot.

This is it! This is the one.
Get me down! Get me down!

Forget it, Ma.
You're not going to the track today.

It's not today, OK? It's tonight.

Quirky Gait is running
in the second race.

Harness racing.

They're not as fast as thoroughbreds,
but what the hell? A horse is a horse.

Oh, get me down!
Get me down on Quirky Gait!

Oh, yeah.
I'm about to come off the slide.

I mean, this is so powerful

that I can feel it in every fibre.

Oh! Oooh, it's... it's a tingler.

- You're drifting, Ma.
- Oh.

No, she's not.
Quirky Gait will definitely win.

Oh. Thank you.

But the horse can't win
unless you come with me

while I make my bet at the track - live.

- Ma!
- Stay out of this.

Floyd, I'm officially inviting you

to spend the rest of the day
with me and my daughter.

And then tonight, after we collect
all our winnings, you're free to go.

- That's very good of you.
- Oh. Let's go, kid.

- No way.
- Look, he's coming or I'm not going.

- Why?!
- Because it's a sure thing.

And you just don't blow a sure thing.
He's coming.

- I cannot believe this!
- Oh, you'll get over it.

Andy, take the day off

OK, boss. I'll get your stuff.

OK.

- This is not a good idea.
- You're wrong.

I'm running late enough as it is, and
if I'm not done by 6:30, I could be dead.

Why?

I have an Italian customer who
is a dangerous punk.

Who?

Chic Chicalini.

The Chic Chicalini?

Yeah, he's one of my customers.
You got the picture?

Oh, my God. Alright, listen.
Just let Floyd come with us, OK?

And I swear to God,
I'll work twice as hard.

- You'd better!
- I will.

Where's that caregiver guy?

How are we going to do this?

Y'all have a good one.

And, boss, don't go into overdrool.

The little ladies might not think
too kindly of that one.

Fuck you.

I've got a lot of shame.

What are you ashamed of?

Ring-dang-doo.

Ring-dang-doo? What is that?

The best of everything.

Oh. If it's the best of everything,
why are you ashamed?

'Cause it's killing me. I'm dying.

I'm a lying piece of shit.

Oh, who says?

Says the reigning queen
of the ring-dang-doo.

Her Majesty, the bitch of tinfoil.

If words could speak,
I still would have nothing to say.

- Pardon me, kid.
- Oh. You're pardoned.

Have you seen my son?

- Mr Neely?
- Yeah, that's him.

- Have you seen him?
- No, not... not lately.

He brought me out from New York,
you know, for hip surgery.

You know, double hip replacement.

He dropped me off
and I haven't seen him in a week.

He was supposed to set it up.

Well, can I call you a taxi or something?

Well, where would I go?

Go back to New York.
Get your hips done there.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

You know,
I have a terrific retirement annuity.

- Oh. I'm happy for you.
- Yeah.

Er... I'll give you the money
if I could just look down your pants.

You know, just...
just loosen them up, huh,

so I could take a peep?

I think not.

Exactly how much money
are we talking about?

Ma!

Tell you what -
I'll get your number from my daughter,

and, uh, well, I'll call you later.

I'll give you a reason to live.

Oooh.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

What are you doing?
You going skateboarding today?

Did you eat your breakfast?

Did you kiss your mother?

Did you tell your stepfather
he's a piece of shit?

I'm not going to yell at you
like your mother yells at you.

Women are like that. You know
what I mean? They're fucking bitches.

Think women are bitches?

You don't? Wait.

W...watch this. Watch this.

Hey, you girls look lovely over there.

Thank you very much
for cleaning our pool, huh?

I'd love to take
the blonde one and, you know...

Hey, you know, I should tell you
about the birds and the bees.

She's a bird and I'm a bee.

See, look at her over there,
bent over like that.

What happens is, I sting the bird.

I go over there
and I sting the shit out of her.

Hi. How are you?

- How you doing?
- Yeah.

You know what the word 'bang' means?
You know, you can do...

You can be very friendly
with two people at a time, you know?

And there's the two I'd like right now.
Look at her.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Now...tell that blonde...
tell her that she's got a nice ass.

- Go on, go and tell her...
- Shut up, Dad.

I'm going for a dip.

Hi. Do you need anything?

Please scratch.

Where?

- Top of my head.
- OK.

Ohhhh... yes, yes.

Ohhhh... ooooh.

OK.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

If those shoes were mine,
I'd stretch them.

No! No.

I'd mount them as an abstract sculpture.

Well, if something happens to me,
I'll leave them to you,

but only if you promise
to drop the subject.

Alright, I promise.

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Chad. New lifeguard.

- I'm Hugo. That's my mom, Minerva.
- Hey.

- Hello.
- How are you?

I'm from Canada. There's not much
lifeguard work up there, eh?

Four months a year at the best.

- Yeah, well, we miss you already.
- 'Bye.

Ooh!

Oh!

Oh!

Chad!

- Hey!
- Chad! I can't swim.

Oh! Chad!

Chad!

I dig the way you walk.

Did you miss me?

Yes.

Mr Chicalini,
what are you doing way over here?

Why aren't you fetching my water?

Your water is being gotten right now.

You sent somebody else?

Yes, I did.

Ho! Who did you send?

My father.

You know, I'm getting an image of you

inside of a baby coffin,

but you don't quite fit.

Um...

I'm trying to stuff you back in,
but it's not easy.

So I just, uh... give up.

And they bury you half in and half out.

Whatever it takes... it takes.

Just so it doesn't take past 6:30...

... or you're going into the next dimension.

Catch you later.

Hmm.

Hmm.

So, my daughter said
you've got this thing wrong with you,

something called ALS.

So, what's it do to you?

It attacks the nerves until they die.

The only parts of the body
that don't get destroyed

are the brain and the ability to eliminate.

The ability to make love is also altered
just a little bit.

Ring-dang-doo, ring-dang-doo,
let me touch just one shoe.

They're spiritual, bro.
They're giving me hope.

You like them that much, huh?

Sure do.
Even more than the ring-dang-doo.

Do you ever talk about anything else?

No. I got two subjects.

Ring-dang-doo...

... and those shoes.

Well, you're simply not getting them.

You have no intention
of keeping your word.

Just give me those shoes...

... which are my shoes,
and stop fucking with me.

Would it be considered as bad form

if I were to throw you
into the Colorado River?

Yeah, me too.

- Want a cookie?
- No.

I want to make a substantial bet
on Quirky Gait.

- Will you show me how?
- Of course I will.

We should roll, Ma.
OK.

Exactly how substantial?

10 grand.

Now I know we're going to win.

Hugo, I just got a twitch in my right arm.
Can you see it?

Oooh!

No, I can't see it.

Please touch my right elbow.

Yeah, I feel that.

That's what happens
just before I lose something.

You're going to beat this.

I like the way you think.

Could I have some of your water, please?

Mm-hm.

Can I get you something to eat?

No, thank you. I'm having too much fun.

You know, when I was little,
I was diagnosed with diabetes.

But... sometimes, like now...

... I dream about chocolate-chip cookies.

Do you dream about walking?

Every night.

Wow.
I've never seen a leaf this close before.

What do you see?

Well...

I see me...

... calling my bookie.

Then going to meet him,
paying him his $750.

Then... getting back in the truck,

and for the rest of the day,
working twice as hard.

I mean, harder than I've ever worked
in my whole adult life.

I mean, those leaves
are just going to fly!

It's going to be the best day ever.
I mean, it already is. Oh, my God!

I just got used to the tattoos
on your ankles, but that...

... well, that's new.

You might as well know about this one.

Why?!

Because I'm afraid to have sex
and I don't do drugs.

What else is there?

Actually, there's body piercing,
so I got my navel pierced too.

Don't you have enough problems
with the holes you have?

I know I do!

Let's go, Mama.

I bet you think
my mother's a little weird, huh?

No. I like her.

She got me out of the house.

Shhh.

Go ahead, call your bookie, Ma.

Thank you.

Irwin, hi. Minerva.

Listen, I have the money.

What do you say we hook up
right above the mailboxes,

down on the fork of the road
by Lemaline Lane?

OK. See you soon. 'Bye.

Thank you.

- You're a good daughter.
- I know.

Morning.

Ha ha!

- Good morning.
- Good morning' is passé.

It's past noon, Huggo Dugay.

Franz, this is my mother, Minerva -
gambler.

Cutie-pie.

- Mom, this is Franz.
- Hello.

- Murder in the first.
- Ha!

And that's Floyd Gaylen, but...

No guests!

Don't worry, Mother.
Won't touch your daughter's pouch.

It's you I will consume shortly.

How is H-Huggo today, Huggo?

I'd be a lot better
if you paid your pool bill.

With what funds, me darling Dugay?

The insurance money you're going to get
from the house you burned down.

Uh...how long has it been
since I paid you? Four years?

Five.
Five years.

- How embarrassing for you.
- Stop the doubletalk.

I have carried you for 61 months
and you've been jiving me since day one.

Pay me! Everything else is bullshit!

Don't shut me out
because of the moneys, Huggo.

I don't shut anybody out, especially
someone who owes me $12,400.

Oh, again we return
to the subject of moneys.

How pedestrian you can be.

Ah... hello.

Oh, I like it that you're including
your mother in your work.

- Is she a gift for me?
- No.

- And stop staring at her.
- I'm not staring at nobody.

I was contemplating the following -

perhaps I could pay off my debt
by working for you,

say... mmm, oooh-eee, oooh...
one day a week?

- And that day is today.
- Today?

- Yes.
- Oh! How exciting.

I have 19 more pools.

Help me get done and I guarantee
you'll make a big dent in your debt.

I accept the gig.
Wherever you go, I go, Huggo.

In the back with Floyd.

How exciting.
It is... it is my pleasure!

- Hello, gimpy.
- Hello.

Thanks.

If I win tonight,
I'm going to buy you a new truck.

Can you buy me a new dress?

In my last previous life,
I was reborn...

... in... Amsterdam -

right in the middle of the red-light district.

I was raised by a whore, you see?
Before it was hip.

Huggo's mother is a beauty of a whore.

Isn't she? She's like her daughter.
They're both... they're both whores.

Both...

- Both of them, they...
- Follow my finger.

Dammit! You freak!

Hey! Don't make me separate you two.

Please, please.

I'm not doing anything unruly.
I'm not making any waves.

It's not my style, Huggo.

Your mama's so lovely.
I wish she were my mama.

What is the matter with you?

Well, you don't... know what it's like
not to have anybody.

I want to be a part of your family.
Is that OK?

Uh, well, we're totally dysfunctional.

Huh. Not to me!

I'm... bewitched by your mama!

Let me lay some pipe in your madre!

- Hi, Irwin.
- Hi. How are you?

- Good.
- How much is in there?

Zip. Nada. Nothing. Zero.
Put it in your pocket.

If there's nothing,
how are we going to settle up?

We saddle up at my place later.

But very late.
I've got a tip on a horse running tonight.

Hey, book it with me. Skip the track.

Then we can be together early.

I can't. I've got to be there live.

I've got to get down.
I mean, I've got to get down.

Look, you know I'm no good for
what you want till after the race anyway.

I can control myself till later.

It's not easy, but I can do it.

Hey, wh...what's the horse's name?

I can't tell you that, or anybody else,
because of the jinx factor.

Even when you reject me,
I get gaga in my knees.

Second race, Quirky Gait.

Hey, that race is fixed.

Let me call someone,
find out if the horse has a chance.

Irwin...

... don't bore me.

Well, I'll cover you in chemicals
and watch you smoulder.

I'll mash your face.

No.

I love you.

Just another one of God's little victims.

Like me.

You didn't pay your bookie, did you?

You got me.

At the last minute,
I decided to sleep with him

and keep the money
to place a serious bet on Quirky Gait,

who's going to take me to heaven.

Ooh, I'm a little dizzy.

Did you take your shot of insulin today?

Yeah.

Huh. Sweetheart,
I don't think you're dizzy.

I think you're falling in love.

One's a murderer
and the other one can't move.

I've seen worse.

Listen, you can't always be so picky.

Maybe.

The one in the chair's kind of cute.

He is, isn't he? He has nice eyes.

I've got to stop. Excuse, please.

What is it?

I'm craving, man. I've got to help myself.

Whatever.

Oooh.

Oh, boy, am I beat, bro.

I don't feel like getting up today.
Will you do me a solid?

Only if you don't get gloomy on me.

Easy for you to say.
You don't have my Jones.

I've got to score. I've got to cop.

What's in that?

It's... it's OK. It's OK.
Ring-dang-doo.

I want it. I need it.

I need the ring-dang-doo!

Alright. Are you sure?

Very!

Then say it.

The dope in my life... is me.

You got it all.

Oooh. Oooh.

Ooh, man. Thank you, man.

Oooh.

Oooh.

Ooh, man. Oooh.

Tell... no... tell my mother I tried.

Even though you're gone,
you're not as far gone as I am.

Muchas gracias, my friend.

May God rest your soul.
You saved me again.

That's very good.

Yeah, it's a new therapy.

More than 100 addicts
are trying this technique.

So far, for me, it works.

What I do is, I help my puppet
shoot up too much ring-dang-doo,

and what he does is overdose,

and I survive.

So, that puppet's like
a metaphor for you?

- Exactly.
- That's beautiful.

Yes, it is!

Franz, grab yourself a skimmer
and follow me.

What did you say?!

How dare you talk to me like that?!

All of your resentment
floating towards me

simply because
I have not paid you for five years

is too much of a temptation
for you not to verbally abuse me.

Ssssooo...

... I tender you my resignation!

Get out of my truck!

- Get out!
- "Get out of my truck."

You see what I mean?

It has been a pleasure
not working with you.

Come on, kid. Let's get this one.

Long time no see.

How many times you been in love?

Once.

- What was she like?
- Oh, she was very funny.

Where is she now?

No more questions.

My father was a drunk
who somehow managed to get to work.

My mother sold her body for cocktails
in the neighbourhood bar.

I'm sorry.

It's nothing.

Whoo!

¡Arriba!

'Bye!

Whoo!

There are those that would say
he was just an extra.

He was more than just an extra.

Every time
he stepped in front of a camera...

... he upgraded the quality
of the background...

... by being serious...
and totally in the moment.

Eugene was the essence of atmosphere.

His background
was everybody's foreground.

He will be missed.

At this point, each of you can take
a shovel, or your hands, if you'd prefer,

and take as much of God's good earth
as you wish...

... and drop it on Eugene,

for it is the last and final good
you can do for him on this earth.

Hello! Hello, peoples.

It is Franz Mazur.

I'm the reason your son is a doornail!

- May I?
- Yes.

It was the least I could do.

As an extra,
your boy was very disciplined,

but as a man, he was so abrasive
that there was no way out for my pistol.

- Mr Mazur.
- Yes, madre?

My husband and I
would like to adopt you.

- We're serious, Franz.
- About what?

We're here forever for you, my son.

We love you, Franz.

What did you say, Mother?

You are a part of this family.

I'm happy to be a part of anything.

Oh!

- Is they real, Mommy?
- They're real, darling.

- Oh, you're my mommy!
- Oh!

It's OK.

- Oh, yes.
- It's alright now.

Our destination
is right around the corner.

2533 Lemaline Lane.

Get ready for delivery.

You're going to meet my daughter
and Mr Chicalini.

Stop.

Stop. Please stop.

Stop. Stop.

Stop.

I don't want to meet anybody new.

Do you mind?

Grazie.

Mr Chicalini!

This is my mother, Minerva.

I see where you got your bone structure.

Who's the cat in the chair?

Floyd Gaylen, new customer.

- Should I care?
- Don't even think about it.

- Where's your father?
- He'll be along.

I'm going to pull a switcheroo.

So, let's party.

No, thank you.

- Oh, take a sip.
- Nah. I don't drink.

- Take a sip.
- No!

Don't show disrespect.

Mr Chicalini, this is my father.

- Hi.
- Hey, your daughter is the best.

Well, it's very nice to meet you,
Mr Chicalini.

Henry Dugay.
I'm ready to put the goods into your pool.

Let's unleash the aqua. Alright.

You know, Hugo,
now, he doesn't remember, but...

... one night your father shared
some of his ring-dang-doo with me.

Whoa! What a batch that was. Yo!

Hey, look, Hugo, I'm sorry. I...

Listen, I tell you what. Forget the water.

It's not the fine,
but if I get caught, I'm a three-time loser.

Forget it.
Forget the water?

All day I've been uptight
about you and your water,

and now you cancel?

Fuck you.

Oh, no, no, wait. Hugo, here.

- No way.
- Oh, come on.

You did the job. You deserve it. Take it!

Not until the water is in the pool.

Take it!

No.

Hey. No water!

Take it, please.

- I don't want closure.
- Do you ever shut up?

Mr Chicalini is right.

Water in his pool is wrong.

Who asked you?

A great decision is a great decision.

And no water in the pool is right.

I don't believe this.

Mr Chicaliniis entitled
to change his mind.

That's it. No water. You hear me?
What are you, stupid?

Is that your mother over there?

She looks good. She's lost some weight.

Hey, Min! It's Henry.

If no water's going in, let's split.
Track, now!

Hugo, put the hose away.

I'd like to put you away.

Whoa.

What's your horse, bro?

Quirky Gait.

Quirky Gait.

Feels like a winner to me.

Oh, no.

May I join you guys?

Well, you're going to have to now,
Henry, otherwise you're going to jinx me.

Hugo, we're going to be late!

The hell with the real track.
Just get me down to satellite wagering.

I have a problem. I have a problem.

This young man has a problem.

Move, Henry.

- Get me on my feet and hold me up.
- What?

There's a whiz coming.

He has to go to the bathroom.
What's wrong with you?

OK, wait. Oh, for Christ's sake!

OK.
Hang on, hang on.

- Pull him. Pull him up.
- Wait. Wait!

- Pull him up!
- Would you fucking help me?!

Right. OK.

OK? Ready?

OK, Hugo, a little help over here!

Henry!

Henry, you got him?

No, it's OK, Hugo. Just do it.

OK.

Not only can you pick a horse,
you are a horse.

Hmm. He took his vitamins today.

Phew.

Jeez, Floyd, you impress me.

- Shake it. Shake it.
- Oh, Henry!

OK. You alright there, Floyd?

Jesus.
He could've filled up my pool.

Enough with the water already!

Hugo, we've got to talk.

It's not about money. This is serious.

What?

Look... Hugo, in a couple of hours,
I'm checking into the...

... Betty Ford Clinic.

The horses for the
second race are coming onto the track.

- 3 don't have a chance.
- Thanks for the tip.

Hey, the fix is in.
Completion Bond is the pick.

Oh, don't jinx me.

Hi, Dad.

- How are you doing, babe?
- Good.

- Min. What are we on here, babe?
- 3.

The horses are lining up.

And they're off

And they're pacing.

Moving out to the front
is Lawrence of Hollywood,

with Failed Marriage an easy second.

Out of Court Jester is coming on strong.

Past him, Quirky Gait,
who stumbles on the inside.

Two lengths back, but moving up,
is Don't Get Involved.

Trying to recover is Quirky Gait...

- Quirky Gait!
- Floyd, I believe in you!

Oh, he's got no chance!

- Quiet!
- Up ahead is Out of Court Jester...

- Don't jinx it!
- ... overtaken by Don't Get Involved...

- It's over, Ma.
- ... with Failed Marriage a close second.

Go, you stupid horse!

- What are you doing?!
- On the far out side...

- He's... he's... he's last!
- Come on, now. Give him a chance.

Give him a chance!

Now Quirky Gait is starting
to make a serious move.

- Go! Go!
- Go! Go! Go! Go!

Come on, you fat bastard! Move!

And Failed Marriage taking out a lead.

Go! Run!

- Dammit! Run your fucking heart out!
- Let's go!

They're starting to bunch up.

Go! Go!

- Quirky Gait is pulling up fast.
- Whip him!

And now Quirky Gait
passes Lawrence of Hollywood.

Here we go! Here we go!

Come on! Come on, Quirky!

Don't Get Involved and Failed Marriage
kicking them back...

Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Alright, he's got it. He's got it.
Get out of the way, goddammit!

...the final turn.

Here comes Quirky Gait like a cyclone.

Down the stretch...

Come on. Come on, Quirky Gait!
Make me rich!

- Take me to heaven!
- You're damn right.

...and now goes by Don't Get Involved.

It's down to these three.

He's coming! Look!

200 yards to go.

And out of nowhere,
here comes Completion Bond

with a powerful late thrust.

Come on, motherfucker!

It's Quirky Gait.

It's Completion Bond.

It's Quirky Gait!
It's Completion Bond!

- Get him!
- It's...

... Quirky Gait!

Quirky Gait! Quirky Gait!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Oh! Oh!

We won! We won!

Oh, I love you! I love you!
I love you! I love you!

You guys, I love you guys.

I love you! This is great!

Would you like to have a bite
after the last race?

No.

I have never felt this much money
in my whole, entire life!

Floyd, do you have any idea
how much money you just won?

It doesn't matter. It's yours.

No, I can't do that.

How about you give me 20?

That I can do. Thank you.

Hugo?
Uh, no.

Give my share to Dad.
For getting the water today.

Thanks, Miss Dugay.

Here you go, Henry.

Am I flush or what?

Since you're going to outlive me,

will you forgive me
for all the drugs and... bad examples

that I'm leaving you?

That's not who you are anymore, Dad.

You came through today.

Thanks.

I like myself today.

I do.

- Hey, Dad, can you take Mom home?
- Where are you going?

I'm not staying here. One horse
is enough. I've got to take Floyd home.

I'm going to stay
and see if I'm hot or not.

But you guys go. Go ahead.
I mean, I'll get home.

- I loved today.
- Me too.

Finally something happened.

What else can I do for you?

How about taking back the business
for two weeks?

How come?

'Cause I haven't had a weekday off
in years.

You don't mind, do you?

You got me.

So, I'll talk to you soon, Ma.

- Yeah. I... I'd like that.
- Me too.

Uh... listen...
You're sexy when you win.

- Goodbye, Henry.
- 'Bye, Dad.

Listen, if I wanted to get a tattoo
of Quirky Gait on my boob...

... would you come with me?

Really?

I want to have something
to remember this day by.

It was, uh...
well, it was pretty special.

Yeah, I could make that happen.

Here he is.

Hmm. I see good things
coming for you.

Quirky Gait.
Do I know my business or what?

I mean, that horse was a gift from God,
through Floyd!

Hey, Ma. The gift from God is Floyd.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Goodnight, Floyd.

Goodnight, Minerva.

Oh. Hugo, before I forget - 20 big ones.
Go by yourself a dress.

- Mmm. I love you.
- I love you too, kiddo.

Thanks.

You ready? Let's go.

Whee!

It's a beautiful night.

It does happen.

What's the foremost thought
you have in your mind?

Today...

... I had more affection coming
from my parents than ever.

It's great when all the other organisms

are exactly linked up
and behave themselves.

Yeah.

I'm more than enchanted
that my time on the planet

has linked up with Hugo Dugay.

Do you really mean that?

Yes, I do.

My arms don't work,
so how about you hug me?

Yes, sir.

Oh...

... thanks for saving my ass
with the water today.

You're...we-l...

What?

You're... wel-come.

Hi, Andy.

- Andy. Yo, Andy.
- We have a house guest.

- Hugo?
- Yeah.

Get the chair.

You gave it your best shot.

- Hugo?
- Hmm?

I'm fixing to go down
to the all-night wax museum,

and I was wondering
if you'd, uh, keep an eye on the boss.

- How can I not?
- Mmm. Thanks.

Have fun.

Hello.

Whew! It's hot.

Ah!

What's this do?

Uh-oh.

Oh...

Hey, Andy.

Huggo. Hello.

Guess what?
Franz has a surprise for you.

I'm going to pay you that what I owe you.

You see, my fire insurance cheque
just bounced in this morning,

and I'm going to cash it
and repay you fully and finally.

Keep it.

Oh, really?

What does this Floyd have
that I don't have?

Me.

Hey.

I'm too superficial to be hurt...

... by that... shallow attempt at feeling.

I feel nothing!

I feel like leaving this neighbourhood.

This place is dead!