Howling: New Moon Rising (1995) - full transcript
A number of brutal, werewolf-like slayings begin occurring in a small California town after the arrival of an unfamiliar motorcyclist.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music) (birds cawing)
- Jesus Christ.
- Holy shit, mother of God.
(dramatic music)
- He's dead inspector.
- Very good Watson.
(dramatic music)
- Who's Watson.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling) (dramatic music)
♪ How come you give me that old burning desire ♪
♪ How come you always light up that old fire ♪
♪ You caught me baby, so I come back slow ♪
♪ And when I get there I'm just howling at the moon ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come I never know just what you mean ♪
♪ And when I check on you you Communist eup clean ♪
♪ Something strange is surely going on ♪
♪ What makes me hurt to think you'll still be gone ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
♪ Don't take me now, you jump my heart this way ♪
♪ I know you make up something nice to say ♪
♪ Don't tell me lies I believe are true ♪
♪ Cause if you do it will come back on you ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
(engine rumbling) (dramatic music)
♪ My heart was yearning and I felt so alive ♪
♪ Things don't ever turn out how they seem ♪
♪ I hope this whole thing might be more than a dream ♪
♪ How come you get to me
- [Man] You are aware of my work, are you not?
- [Man] Yes, you're a priest
who investigates the satanic possessions,
the occult, and just about anything
the church deems unsanitary.
The body was found about four weeks
after the circus left town.
- [Man] Inspector, why are you telling me this?
- The man was a transient.
The last time he was seeing was when
he was snatching a bag from this woman.
- This is an old photo.
Are you sure you have the right woman?
- May I?
She disappeared right after her bag was stolen.
We identified her through home video shot at the circus.
(dramatic music)
- [Father] Mary Lou Sommers.
- [Inspector] You want to tell me about her?
Like why you filed a missing persons report on her?
- First, I need to know more about this murder.
Specifically, how was he killed?
- Well the consensus of opinion is he was killed by a wolf.
The only thing is, is that this wolf
would have had to been twice
the size of the hound of the Baskervilles.
- What?
- Hound of the Baskervilles, it was a Sherlock.
- What else, inspector, what else?
- Well, according to the experts, the wolf attacked
while up, standing on its hind legs.
That would have made it well over six feet tall.
- Do you know what sort of wolf killed this man?
- A very big one?
(upbeat music)
♪ I like it when I put on a big cowboy hat ♪
♪ Goof around the kitchen and I make you laugh ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ And I like when we sit, quiet on the couch ♪
♪ Got this for your grin, and then you trace my mouth ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like this, I like it like that ♪
♪ I like the way you wear your big cowboy hat ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ And I like it when
- Good day, can I get a beer mate?
- It's a country jukebox.
- [Man] Not without George Jones.
- Huh?
- I said it's not a country jukebox without George Jones.
- Hey, it's got everyone else.
What's such a big deal about George Jones?
- From the Beatles to the Rolling Stones.
- If they could all sing like they wanted to.
- [Both] They'd all sing like George Jones.
- Jim, do you know who wrote that song?
- George Jones?
(men chuckling)
Jim the only thing you know
about country music is the first four letters.
- Brock.
- [Brock] Sorry Cheryl, I didn't know you could spell.
- Yeah, and I can also count up to 86.
(Brock chuckles)
- Hi, Bob Mile, nice to meet you
- Good day I'm Ted, Ted Smith.
- [Bob] This is Jim.
Said this is Jim.
- Hi Jim.
- I'm actually Ted, Ted.
- On a break from Australia?
- Oh yeah, but I flew most of the way.
- Are your arms tired?
- Only when I flap 'em.
- That could give you armrittis.
- It's all right, I've just had about of hipatitis.
- Yeah, a little bit further down your leg,
you'd probably get kneeumonia.
- Hell, I'd probably be more worried about small cox.
- [Ted] Well I'm pretty lucky there,
I've already had dicktheria.
- So what brings you to Pioneer town?
- Well, a fellow down in Yucca Valley,
tell me there was a job going here, so came up.
- Well Harriet's the one you're going to have to talk to.
- Harriet?
- Eveanne, do you know where Harriet's at?
- I think she's in out back.
- Went out like a lead balloon there,
what do you think it was?
My charm or my good looks?
- Hey dude, it takes a lot to impress that girl.
I mean a lot.
- The being that killed that man
is none other than our adversary, the devil
in a lichenthropic manifestation.
- You want to subtitle that for me Father?
- The killer is a werewolf.
- I knew it was going to be a bad day
when I got up this morning.
You mean to tell me that the victim was killed by a.
- A werewolf inspector.
♪ He never calls me
♪ I wait by the phone, he always leave me ♪
♪ So I'm here all alone
♪ He never needs me
- How yo doing Cathy?
Hey.
Give me a drink, Jim, I need one bad.
How's the benefit doing?
- Good, getting closer.
How are you feeling?
- I'll tell you better after I have my drink.
(boys shouting)
Them kids under age?
- No Pappy, you know better than that.
We check everyone's ID.
- [Brock] Didn't check mine.
- Shut up Brock.
(men chuckles)
- What's this?
- Soda water Pappy.
- Damn it Jim, I wanted a drink.
- Sorry Pappy, Harriet's orders.
- Since when has she been giving orders around here?
- [Brock] Since 1974.
(men chuckling)
- Pappy, I'd like you to meet Ted.
He came here looking for work.
- Good day there, you're the boss here, are ya?
- I run the place.
What are you smiling at?
- [Jim] Oh nothing Pappy.
- Well hi Ted, Bob said you were looking for work.
- Yeah, that's right Harriet.
- Well good, you know well we don't pay much,
but you can have some food and a place to sleep.
- Well I'll tell you what,
that's the best offer I've had to date.
- [Harriet] Good.
(upbeat country music)
♪ Now love's a memory, cold as stone ♪
♪ But I need my heart so I won't be alone ♪
♪ Crazy heart, crazy heart
♪ Come back to me
♪ Crazy heart, crazy heart
- Thursday, everything according to plan.
Land a job.
Now I've got to find out about
the town before they find out about me.
(upbeat music)
♪ Then we danced in private
♪ Into the day
♪ If there's a chance that you want me ♪
♪ Then take me
♪ I promise love that's true eternally ♪
- [Harriet] Everybody.
♪ I spent the night
- Teds a cowboy?
- [Bob] Hey Ted.
- Yeah?
- You used to ride in rodeos in Australia, didn't you?
- Hell yeah, I was nearly Australian champion.
- Australian champion?
What stopped you Ted?
- Kept falling off the horse.
(men chuckling)
- Hey Jack, looks like you've been getting
your shirts out of Jacqueline's side of the closet again.
(chuckling)
Good night Jacqueline.
- I hate to sound skeptical.
I believed in Santa Claus till I was eight years old.
- I'm not a flippant man nor a religious zealot,
but everything I'm about to tell you
is based on fact not supposition.
- Okay, facts I can deal with.
- These facts go back 500 years.
- Excuse me, 500 years?
- [Father] Yes.
- This is going to be a long story?
- Especially if you keep interrupting.
- Point taken.
- Late in the 15th century inspector,
the Vatican sent an inquisition team
to Hungary near Budapest
because there had been reports of a werewolf sighting.
The night before the team arrived at the castle,
Count Shusko poisoned everyone,
then killed himself and his wife,
Of course their deaths were seen in his admission of guilt.
And without exorcism, it meant
that the evil still prevailed within the castle.
The inquisition believed that Satan
had taken the castle under his protection.
They ordered the castle to be razed.
Three times they set fire to it
but each time the fire went out.
After that, no one would even walk
in the shadow of the castle's walls,
let alone set foot inside it.
- The bar actually made a little profit.
Considering that a certain someone never
writes down anything that he spends our drink.
- Then get rid of them of him Harriet.
I don't want anybody around that can't do their job.
What are you smiling at?
- Oh, nothing.
You know Pappy, I was thinking how about an early night?
- I was thinking of helping Jim, he may be busy.
- If it gets busy I'll help out.
- Goodnight girls.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- [Woman] Leslee, you look terrific,
are you losing a little weight?
- I think so, I think this new pit diet's working.
- I got the best diet, Leslee.
- Hey, come here you do?
What kind of diet's that?
- It's the vodka diet.
- The vodka diet?
Get outta here.
- Yeah, I drink vodka all the time.
- Does it work.
- Hell yeah, lost three days already.
(women laughing)
- This isn't a line dance.
- Real men don't line dance.
- He's a dancery man.
- I thought he said he was a cowboy.
(men laughing)
♪ You gave me the old twist and shout ♪
♪ Best one of my time
♪ I give her the old rock and roll and I'm still on her mind ♪
♪ I couldn't change or rearrange ♪
♪ The things I know are you
♪ Cause nobody tells my baby what to do ♪
♪ I got caught in the middle
♪ And I love her just a little bit too long ♪
- Planned that well, didn't he?
- Bonnie, you make him sound like such a schemer.
- If the shoes fit wear it.
♪ Cause nobody tells my baby what to do ♪
- Told ya he could dance.
- We know Jim.
- Hey, I know when I'm not wanted.-
- No you don't.
(upbeat country music)
- So, did I pass?
- Wasn't a test.
- Wasn't it?
- Tell me what you're really doing in Pioneer town.
- The whole place was boarded up
and forgotten until 1987 when
the communist government in its infinite wisdom
decided the place would
make an excellent tourist attraction.
The first group that included the woman in your photograph.
When they walked up the stairs that day,
like the occupants of the castle 500 years ago,
they too were destined never to get out alive.
The official story was that
they had gotten lost during a freak blizzard
in the labyrinth of tunnels beneath the castle.
A subsequent fire destroyed the castle,
caused the tunnels to collapse
and made the bodies impossible to recover.
That was the official story.
- Excuse me for interrupting, do you have another name?
I feel a bit self conscious and I don't mean any disrespect.
- You can call me John.
- John, that's good, John.
It's getting late, it's 12:45
and I'd really like to take a rain check
on the rest of the story.
Not that it's not interesting.
I just think it's a tad more than I'd expected.
And I'd like some time just to kind of think it through.
- Inspector much work needs to be done.
- I understand, it has my utmost priority,
but I really must go.
- Where sir?
- To the nearest bar.
(ominous music)
- I just got tired of the whole LA scene
and decided to get out.
- Ted, its not important, I'm sorry I asked.
- Ted.
- What?
- You coming back to the motel?
- Yes, he his.
Goodnight Ted.
- Bob, it's so nice of you to walk me back to the motel.
I mean, I really appreciate it.
- Look, after her husband died,
hasn't really been interested in anybody.
- This is me.
- You'd have a better chance with Madonna.
- I've been there, done that.
- Really, Madonna?
- Would a bullshiter bullshit a bullshiter?
- How was she like?
- Who?
- Madonna.
- About the same as your sister.
- That good?
- You are sick you hear me, sick, sick, sick.
Town's perfect.
Vulnerable, people easily manipulated.
Why do I care if I hurt them?
It's never bothered me before.
(dramatic music)
- [Harriet] Okay now, this is really a story song.
I was on the road with my band, just singing away.
Had a little trouble and I had to come home a week early.
And I thought I'm not going to call Pappy,
I'm just going to go home and surprise him.
Well I was the one that was surprised
because when I was walking up my, my door,
there was Pappy, give them singing lessons
to this little blonde and I opened the door and I said.
- God this urinals small.
- [Harriet] I wrote this for him
from the bottom of my heart.
- You reckon it's small Ted?
- What?
- Its small, isn't it?
- Cocktail weenie Brock.
(men chuckles)
It's tough shaming Brock.
♪ So take him if you want him
♪ And keep him if you can
♪ But let me tell you sister
♪ That's one hell of a man
♪ And he'll love you like you never been loved before ♪
♪ But watch him love another before you're out the door ♪
♪ Take him if you want him
♪ And keep him if you can
♪ But let me tell you sister
♪ That's one hell of a man
(audience applauding)
- Now listen girls, I wrote that song a long time ago.
(audience laughing)
♪ You know men with women
♪ They have a role to play
♪ He runs around at night and she's at home to stay ♪
♪ There's a million other dancing just about like you ♪
♪ And there'll be a dozen more
♪ Before he's through
♪ And he'll love you like you never have been loved before ♪
- Five, six, seven, eight.
(dramatic country music)
♪ She's a circuit rider
♪ At the midnight rodeo
♪ Deep in the heart
♪ Of Texas tonight
- Ted.
We're closing, you better wake up sleeping beauty.
- Yeah?
Oh, what do you want?
- Sorry, we're closing, you have to leave now.
- Who's gonna make me?
- Him.
(women laughing)
(dramatic country music)
The hell are you doing in there?
- [Man] How about if I told your friends
in there what you really are?
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
- Does he know you?
(Ted chuckles)
- He's so plastered he wouldn't know his own mother.
Even if he went to the zoo.
(heart beating) (eerie music)
- [Jack] Hey, what's going on out there?
- I thought I heard something out here.
(suspenseful music)
Something's spooking the deer.
- Oh for crying out, come back in here,
some damn fool or coyote.
(suspenseful music)
(heart beating) (eerie music)
(dramatic country music)
(door rattling)
(suspenseful music)
(werewolf growling) (dramatic music)
(screaming) (dramatic music)
(werewolf growls)
(dramatic music)
(door rattles)
(dramatic music) (clattering)
(engine rumbling)
- It was an awful scream, I'm surprised you didn't hear it.
It woke me up.
- Hear more than a scream if he ever comes back here.
- Well, after the scream, I looked through my window
and I saw someone wandering around
It looked like Ted.
- Ted?
What does he go to do with it?
- Well, they had a fight at the bar last night.
- Well, do me a favor and go look for Ted
and ask him if he knows anything about this.
- Okay.
(suspenseful music)
(engine rumbling)
(car door bangs)
- He's gone all right, he must've hitched
a ride on one of those big rigs.
- You know, I tell Jim not
to serve those drunks, but he does anyhow.
- You want me to get Jaro to come and fix this door?
- Yeah, as soon as he's done fixing the wiring at the bar.
He better be working over there.
- Oh yeah, he's over at the bar.
- Thanks for looking hun.
- Okay.
- You're an hour late Jaro.
(dramatic country music)
- Jim, you seen Ted?
- I think he's over there.
(dramatic country music)
Ted, Cheryl was looking for you.
- That's the story of my life Jim.
- She's over there.
- Now Jim, you missed a bit there.
(men chuckling)
(eerie music)
- [Ted] Cheryl, you looking for something?
- Well, yes, actually I was looking for you.
You know that drunk, the one you had
the fight with last night?
- [Ted] Yeah.
- He disappeared this morning.
- Disappeared?
What's that got to do with me?
- Well Harriet asked me to see
if you knew anything about it.
- No.
Why would I know anything about it?
- Well, didn't you hear him screaming,
you were outside weren't you?
About three o'clock this morning.
- No, no, I was asleep, I was dead to the world.
Sorry Cheryl, no.
- The tour guide told the real story
to a priest as he was dying.
A freak blizzard had blown up that night.
Stranding.
None of them seem overly concerned.
They were not to know that the spirit of the werewolf
had already assumed the identity of one of the group.
Even as they were enjoying their drinks,
the beast among them was planning their demise.
When they went to explore the castle, the killing started.
The werewolf was picking them off one by one.
They could not bring themselves to accept the truth.
They thought one of the group must have gone insane.
Ted, the only Australian became the fall guy
and he was never seen again
(dramatic chord)
As panic set in, the killings continued.
(dramatic music)
No one was sure who to trust.
They took sides out of sheer desperation.
Finally, there were only three of them left.
(dramatic music)
Each of the men thought the other was the werewolf.
And it was Mary Lou who made the final choice.
(suspenseful music)
(gun fires)
The wrong one.
- That's quite a bit to absorb John.
Mind if we just kind of take a break
and get a little fresh air?
(dramatic country music)
- I don't understand why you sent that drunk Davis here.
You're going to blow my cover.
Seem crazy to me.
Luckily, he's gone.
I don't know.
Okay, bye.
(dramatic chord)
(suspenseful music)
- Exercise is good.
Helps me think, the oxygen refreshes my brain.
- I wouldn't have taken you
for someone interested in physical fitness inspector.
- Oh, I watch a lot of football.
I once had a friend that died of jogging.
I just went out and the first time he just fell over, died.
- Well, that's terrible.
How old was he?
- 94.
- you're making fun of me inspector.
- No.
- Ted said he was asleep, but I'm positive
it was him outside that man's room.
- Why would he lie?
Unless he had something to hide.
- That's what worries me.
Especially since I'm sure it was
that man Brett Davis's briefcase under Ted's bed.
- Hi Cheryl, hi Bonnie.
- Hi.
- Can you give me some help at the bar for a minute?
- Sure.
- Okay.
♪ Lead the wolves away from the door ♪
♪ That's the only things aman like me is good for ♪
- Jaro, Did you hear any noises last night?
There's something was spooking the deer.
- No, I didn't.
(engine rumbling)
- I heard something.
- Come on, we're late.
Are you going to walk or ride?
- Hey Jack, how come you wearing Jacqueline shirt?
(Jaro chuckles)
(engine rumbling)
- That's how we heard the story.
The count told the priest as he was dying, remember?
- That confession.
- The count was wrong, David was found dead.
Mary Lou was never seen again.
- Until now.
- Yes inspector.
- [Woman] I thought you may like some tea.
- Thank you Sybil.
- You're a police man.
I've got a son that's in Burstow and he's got a wife
and her friend's a policemen.
I've got another daughter, she lives here too.
But I've got another three daughters,
but they're not all there.
- Thank you Sybil, you can go now.
- It's been a real pleasure meeting you
and I hope when you go to Burstow you'll look, my son up.
- We're in Burstow.
- Oh, never do know where I am.
- Sybil.
- [Sybil] Stupid.
- Time is running out for us inspector.
- Us?
- You can't do this by yourself.
I'm going to provide you with some pastoral support.
- Listen, I appreciate your offer, but.
- Inspector there's more.
- More?
I knew it.
I'm going to warn you though on becoming shockproof.
- Good.
Because very soon it will be three years to the day
since that Hungarian castle burned to the ground.
Three years is the time it takes a werewolf
to grow to full strength, to reach maturity, if you please.
Inspector I've already checked the calendar.
This date will coincide with our upcoming full moon.
- I take it back, a full moon?
I know this is going to get worse.
- But the conjunction of these forces will be devastating.
Once a werewolf does developed fully
then behold its first full moon
it becomes in engorged with an awesome new power.
- I don't want to hear about it.
What?
- Now inspector, your werewolf will
be able to change others into its own kind.
- And how do you know all this?
- I've always known the theories of werewolves.
- You realized that if I told my superiors
this story, they'd probably have me committed.
- Then the less said the better.
- Cheryl, I got the key.
- Ted's room?
Let's go.
(dramatic country music)
(suspenseful music)
Did you find it?
- I found it.
It's full of tapes.
(suspenseful music)
It's George Jones.
- Does the briefcase have gold corners?
- No.
- Check the cabinets.
(suspenseful music)
Ted.
- Cheryl, you know, we've got to stop meeting like this.
(suspenseful music)
You here for any reason?
- No, I was just standing here waiting.
- Waiting for who, Gurdo?
I don't think he's going to come Cheryl.
(suspenseful music)
(door clicks)
(dramatic country music)
(suspenseful music)
(Cheryl knocks)
(suspenseful music)
- I'm telling you, my deer we're really spooked
because something, something was in the park.
- Hey Bob, you weren't trying
to find a good looking one, were you?
- Not me, I've been in the desert too long.
- Put a bag over their head
and you wouldn't know the difference anyway.
- Well that's a relief.
I'm telling you for a moment
I just thought, you know.
- I'm serious Ted, whatever was spooking
the deer was not normal.
- Not normal?
- No.
- Oh, well that really narrows the field.
Right?
- Reading you loud and clear dude.
Brock.
- Brock.
- Brock?
- He's not an animal.
- Well he's not human.
No, no.
- [Jim] No way.
- No way.
♪ Rumor says she drove her daddy crazy ♪
♪ I don't care cause it's just all right ♪
♪ When the band is higher than a Friday night ♪
♪ I used to stand in the crowd and watch her dance ♪
♪ And I'd dream
♪ If I could get the chance
♪ Practice real hard and then I head to school ♪
♪ I'll be rocking by every single week or two ♪
- Really, Brock, it was him?
- Huh?
- Brock.
- What?
- What were you doing with my deer?
- Wandering around at night.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Hope you weren't wearing gold lama dress.
- Hell no, I lent it to Jim.
(Jim chuckles)
♪ Heard her scream
♪ From back there baby when my mama said ♪
♪ That she could dance in bed
♪ The best little babies never felt the same ♪
- Thanks.
Hey Ted, you into anyone else besides George Jones?
- As a matter of fact, Brock,
I'm into necrophilia, sadism, and bestiality.
- Ted.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, but I think I'm plugging a dead horse.
(all laughing)
♪ Rock on, rock on really, really and have a ball with me ♪
- Ted I didn't want whiskey, I wanted a water.
- Water?
- W-A-T-T-E-R water.
Oh, hi Harriet.
♪ She's got quick silver feet and a long ponytail ♪
- Well anyway, get back to me.
♪ My God rock on really, really ♪
♪ And have a ball with me
(upbeat country music)
- Hey, you red headed faggot.
Why don't you get a haircut boy?
- Hate for the wool prices to go up.
♪ Yeah rock on
♪ Rock on willy nilly and have a ball with me ♪
(upbeat country music)
(audience applauding)
- All right Leslee.
- Elvis Castello sang country?
- Yeah, Almost Blue was the album.
And he sang a song with George Jones.
- Who's George Jones?
- Who's George Jones?
- Want me to lead off?
- Hey you smart alec.
Yeah I'm talking to you, smart ass.
- Be with you in a minute, all right?
So you think I'm smart do you?
- No, I don't think you're smart.
I think you're just a smart ass.
- Oh, I bet you double whatever you got,
that I can drink that beer, without touching my hat.
- [Man] It's a trick.
- [Man] Yeah, I know it's a trick.
- Put your money up.
- He ain't gonna make a fool out of me.
This boy ain't stupid.
(Ted Laughs)
- Well you certainly got us fooled.
- [Man] Hey, what are you doing?
- I'm gonna drink it through the table.
- [Man] What are ya doing?
- Keep an eye on, he wants you to do that, watch the hat.
Watch the hat.
You didn't drink that beer.
- The heck I did, I drank it through the table.
- [Man] Hey, I saw him do that.
- I told ya he didn't drink that beer.
- [Man] Then what's he got?
- Without touching my hat.
- Hey, that's out money.
- You're not gonna start trouble my man.
- [Man] I aint looking for no trouble.
- [Man] Let's get out of here.
- I ain't going nowhere until I get my damn money.
- You lost your money, fair and square.
Better be going now.
- No, no this ain't right, I'm going to get you.
- Congratulations, can I buy you a drink?
- Well, you can twist my arm, consider it twisted.
- He made a fool of us.
- Cool it man, let it go.
- No, no, I'm gonna get that guy.
- Just let it go, man.
- No, you let it go man.
- Who wants to hear Pappy sing?
(audience cheering)
All right.
Pappy come on down, sing for all the folks.
Ladies and gentlemen Pappy Allen.
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Everybody sit down now.
(audience cheering)
♪ Ever had a hot date, one of those I can't wait ♪
♪ Things get a little out of hand ♪
♪ And a little of a good night, have you ever got ♪
♪ In the backseat of our van
♪ I say stand up
♪ Have you ever been there
- Come on now
♪ Stand up
♪ Tell us all about it
♪ Stand up
♪ Have you ever been there
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
♪ Ever met a woman, midnight romance ♪
♪ Party till your money's all gone ♪
♪ The shiny Mona Lisa oh she wrote on her visa ♪
♪ Took a bartender home
♪ Say stand up
♪ Have you ever been
- Come on honey.
♪ Stand up
♪ Identify, stand up
♪ Have you ever been down
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
- Band, one more time
♪ Stand up
♪ Tell us all about it
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
♪ Stand up
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Never gonna move Friday nights in Pioneer town.
- That police man's outside and it's very late.
- I asked him to come Sybil.
- Shall I show him in?
I thought you were outside.
- You told me to come in.
- Did I?
- [John] Sybil, can you get us some tea?
- Certainly.
- I have a theory.
- All ready?
- The only area which is completely isolated
is up here in the Morongo basin, above Yucca Valley.
I think this is where she's hiding.
- I've had pictures over distributed through that area.
Not a nibble.
- But what if she's in disguised?
- It's just that a disguise is really hard to maintain.
- Not necessarily inspector,
not if she has taken over the body of another person.
(dramatic music)
- Ted, I'm sorry, you'll have to go.
- Why, what's wrong?
- It's been a long time and I want to be sure, okay?
Please, just go.
(dramatic music)
Ted.
This really means a lot to me.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- Okay smart ass, let's see how smart I really am.
(suspenseful music)
(man cries out)
(dogs howling) (dogs barking)
(upbeat music)
- Pappy, where's Harriet?
- Can't you see I'm cooking Deloris?
- Please Pappy, where is she?
- She's over at Cheryl's.
(upbeat country music)
(chili bubbling)
- How come there's dirt in the chili?
- I need a drink.
(upbeat country music)
♪ Just called to say I love
♪ All the things you do
- How can anyone drink this stuff?
(Ted knocks)
Don't just stand there with your mouth open.
Get the man a drink.
- Thanks Pappy.
- [Jaro] What did I tell you?
- Jaro, you were right, it is Brett Davis.
- What's that in his pocket?
- What'd it say?
- Real nice guy, he was out on parol for murder.
- Harriet, bury him, you don't need this.
No ones gonna know anything.
- I don't know, we should call the police.
- They don't need to know anything.
Maybe we should ask Pappy.
- Don't ask Pappy anything,
he's already had one heart attack,
he doesn't need another one.
- You can take care of the lion.
Drive it off.
- Jaro's right Harriet, it won't make any difference to him.
- Well this could be the dumbest
or the smartest thing I've ever done,
but y'all just bury him.
- I'm walking across the flat right?
I'm just minding my own business, nothing to do.
- Hey Brock.
- Pappy you know you got dirt in your chili?
- I know.
- Did you hear Ted got attacked last night by that guy,
the one he took the money from.
- Well shit, what happened?
- The guy grabs me, around the neck,
gets out his knife and he sticks it against me jugular mate.
- You must have shit yourself?
- The fact that he was insane, about kill me.
I was completely fearless.
- I hear you carved your way through a wall of human flesh.
- Absolutely true.
In a helicopter, Vietnam, 300 feet, I jumped straight out.
- Is that the time your rifle rusted up?
- Yup, when I was going through the rain shadow, that's it.
- That's the time you used your bayonet, wasn't it?
- That's how I carved my way through a wall of human flesh.
(men laughing)
- Anyhow, getting back to the story, right?
So there's morons got me around the throat right?
And I throw into the ground,
bang, he goes down.
Next minute hands on his hip fellas.
All of a sudden, the stars at night
♪ Are big and bright
(zippers zipping)
♪ And in the heart of Texas
- Took him out like a light, I don't know what it was.
- I hate to say it but he's back.
- Who's back?
- That coyote that jumps out of trees at night.
(door creaks)
- Pappy, do you know there's dirt in the chili?
- I know it, I know it honey.
- And another thing is Jaro said
there's mountain lion tracks all around the motel.
- I think I'm gonna fight.
(upbeat country music)
- Jaro, Jaro.
(upbeat country music)
Take it with you.
(upbeat country music)
(Jaro farting)
(Ted laughing) (upbeat country music)
- Dolores you literally dragged Harriet out of my house
this morning, and now you can't say anything?
- You're gonna have to ask Harriet about that.
- Dolores, there's something going on.
We have a right to know.
- Harriet, what's going on?
- Was someone attacked?
- I didn't say anything.
- Okay, girls, but I'll tell you
this we'll have to stay within these four walls.
No one else is to know about this, all right?
- Cheryl mountain lions don't attack someone
unless they're dead or injured already.
- What are you saying?
- Ted had a fight with this guy, what if he left him there,
injured or dead, and then the mountain lion got him?
- But that's terrible Bonnie.
- So is been an accessory to murder.
- Murder?
- One guy comes up missing, one guy turns up dead,
and both times, who's involved?
Ted.
- No way Bonnie, no way.
- Well Cheryl, I think Ted knew
that we were searching his room.
(dramatic music)
- Jaro, there's aint to damn mountain lion out here.
We haven't seen a single track.
- There has to be.
- Look, we're wasting valuable drinking time.
- Yeah, if there was anything out here, it's gone now.
♪ Keep the wolves away from the door ♪
♪ Now that's the only thing a man like me is good for ♪
- Nothing, no tracks anywhere?
- Nope.
- You didn't see anything?
- Nope, I didn't.
- You went around the whole town?
- All around, I look everywhere.
- Jesus Harriet, he didn't see anything.
How many more time do you want him to tell you?
- I just want to be sure.
- There's something you're not telling me Harriet,
something's wrong, you're awful upset about something.
- It's okay, honey.
You know, one of us should be over at the bar
and I've got some more work I have to do.
- I'll go to the bar, honey.
You don't need rush.
(upbeat country music)
(phone rings)
- Hello inspector.
- No father, it's Marie Adams.
Do you remember me?
Can you come to my house?
- Oh, Bonnie, let it go.
I don't know where you get these ideas.
Ted's okay.
- You've made your bed, you lie in it.
- Listen, for your information,
Ted hasn't been in my bed, okay?
- Yeah sure.
♪ So has all the crime
♪ No temptation, no desire
♪ No attempt to light that fire ♪
♪ You make me fall for you
♪ Just the way that I used to
♪ No temptation, no desire
♪ No attempt to light that fire ♪
♪ You make me fall for you the way that I used to ♪
(upbeat country music)
♪ I've been trying somebody yelled ♪
♪ No I haven't even tried
♪ Here you are with me
♪ Firing off a single live wire ♪
♪ Surely you know you're beautiful tonight ♪
♪ Love come with a catch
♪ And I'm gonna pay the price
♪ No temptation no desire
(slow country music)
- [Bob] Ted.
- I don't believe this.
- [Bob] Ted are you coming back to the motel?
- No he isn't.
(slow country music)
(suspenseful music)
- I'm really scared, that's why I called you.
Father do you believe in werewolves?
- What do werewolves have to do with you?
- They tried to kill me.
- Hello?
Is this the chief ranger?
Could you tell him if there's
been any mountain lion activity reported
in the Joshua tree area?
(suspenseful music)
Well, a friend told me.
I'm sorry, no.
(suspenseful music)
Could you just please answer my question?
(suspenseful music)
- Bonnie, this isn't blood on the shirt, it's red paint.
- Paint would cover a man's blood on a shirt.
- What's got into you, Bonnie?
- Ted, Harriet.
There's something more going on in this town
than just that body you buried.
- Oh my God, look.
It was in his pocket.
- Brett Davis's ID card.
What was it doing in Ted's shirt?
- He told Eveanne he didn't know him.
(knocking)
- Excuse me, Harriet.
Can I see you for a moment?
- Thanks Jaro.
(suspenseful music)
- They found a man buried at the monument.
Says he was attacked by some wild animal.
Unconfirmed confirmed reports.
Said there's been sightings of an animal
that looked almost half human.
- That's why the ranger wouldn't tell you anything.
- You see that woman in the newspaper
who they want a question about the killing?
I found this in Brett Davis's room after he disappeared.
- I think you'd better call the cops.
- You know I'm a writer and I had this nervous breakdown.
Well, the doctor said that I needed to get away.
So Richard my husband,
found this really nice secluded place in the mountains
and the people there were really friendly.
Probably too friendly.
I had no idea that this place
was actually a colony for werewolves.
- A colony?
Of course.
- Excuse me?
- Nothing, I'm sorry I interrupted.
- I wasn't feeling very well.
I had taken a couple of sleeping pills
and was waiting for Richard to come back from his walk.
She wasn't there by accident.
She wanted Richard.
(dramatic music)
I knew he was hurt.
He told me that she had attacked him,
that she was a werewolf.
But the next day he changed his story.
He said it was all in my mind.
My imagination overreacting again, all he had was a scratch.
That night we had an argument.
He wouldn't listen.
He just got angry and left the house.
I heard his screams, there were frightening.
(dramatic music)
He was changing and there was nothing I could do.
I had to get away.
(dramatic music)
I realized they would come after me,
that I would never be free.
So I returned to Draco.
(engine rumbling)
And pretended to hide in the bell tower.
They came after me.
And when they were inside,
I locked the doors and set the place on fire.
(bell tower booming)
(screaming)
No one survived, not even my husband.
So that's it.
What should I do?
- Marie, I want to show you something.
(briefcase clattering)
- What is it?
- Do you know this woman?
- No.
But this, this is the man.
He worked on a tow truck.
(dramatic music)
I thought I killed him, but.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Hold on, it's an inspector Kester inspector for you.
- Inspector?
The police think they found this man.
- What, he's here?
- Okay, I wrote this song about people my age
that realize drug use is a waste of time.
And you guys all know the words, so sing along.
One, and a two, and a three, and a.
♪ Well they don't make good drugs like they used to ♪
♪ Too much medatol, too much meat ♪
♪ Too much cocaine
♪ Finding ground up coffee in my heroin ♪
♪ Each morning before I do my cocaine ♪
♪ And toothpaste I'm sure will take place of the base ♪
♪ There used to be good old methedrine ♪
♪ I think I see hair with my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
♪ Oh sand nose and Oslie were creators ♪
♪ Things that we'll never see again ♪
♪ And like poke of gold, I heard all these souls ♪
♪ To a mayor who lives like Huck Finn. ♪
♪ And speed I wish you never left me ♪
♪ Cause my house will never be clean again ♪
♪ I think I see hair in my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
♪ Oh I think I see hair in my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Jack, hey that's nice shirt.
- You really like that Ted?
- Yeah, I even liked it when Jacqueline was wearing it.
Jack?
Jack!
(bottles clattering)
- Eveanne, Ted tried to bring George Jones.
(Eveanne chuckles)
- He's trying to convert the world.
- [Teds Casset] The place is made up
of dropouts and misfits.
People trying to keep alive dreams
that never had any hope of fulfillment.
They live in a past as they have invented,
justifying their wrongdoings,
blaming society for all their ills.
The dirt is everywhere.
It's a regular landmine of drama and intrigue.
I feel safe here.
The shade conspiracies hiding out with protected secrets.
(dramatic music)
- I'm sorry.
You weren't meant to hear this.
(dramatic music)
(door clatters)
- Are you going to hold him until
the inspector comes from LA?
- Something like that.
- You I think he's the killer?
- That's what we're going to find out.
(car door bangs)
(dramatic music)
(cops knocking)
- Would you mind stepping outside?
- What?
- Step outside.
Yeah, you and I are going somewhere
and having a little talk.
- Hey, what's this about?
- That's for me to know and you to find out.
(dramatic music)
(door creaks)
Get in there.
Now I'm going to ask you some questions
and you better hope I like the answers.
- Fuck you.
- Now what about that fight you had last night?
- Guy was trying to kill me, that was all that happened.
(suspenseful music)
- Then how come he ends up dead,
and your clothes are covered in blood?
- Dead, what do you mean dead?
- Don't play dumb with me.
Now, what about Brett Davis?
- What about Brett Davis?
- You had his ID card in your pocket.
- Oh you're fucking crazy.
(dramatic music)
You think if I had something
to hide I'd still be around here?
- Better wise up asshole.
- Listen shit for brains.
(Ted cries out)
- [Cop] What did you call me?
- If you hit me one more time with that stick,
I'm gonna take it and jam up your ass so far,
your nose is gonna bleed.
(dramatic music)
(cop cries out)
- Starting to make me mad boy.
- Mad?
You're fucking nuts.
(dramatic music)
you want more of this?
Tough guy.
Okay.
(engine rumbling)
(suspenseful music)
- You're dead boy.
Dead, do you hear me?
(suspenseful music)
Shit.
(suspenseful music)
(werewolf growling) (dramatic music)
(cop screams)
- Hold it right there, police.
Alpha Productions gave you the cash
to run an expose on this town?
- [Ted] Right.
- Why would they do that?
- Because allegedly, this town
contains half of America's most wanted.
- And this Brett Davis brought you the cash?
- [Ted] He was gonna give me a cheque in LA,
I said I wanted cash, so he brought it here.
- How come you had his ID?
- I didn't, it was planted planted.
- Planted, who planted it?
- I don't know.
- Good old second base?
- Third, what's on second?
- I've got two, maybe three bodies
with your name written all over them.
- Hey wait a minute, it was an animal that killed that cop,
and it was an animal that killed
that dick head the night before.
- An animal set you up?
- [Ted] Yes, it was mountain lion man.
- Whoever it was, they certainly
had the power to change form.
- That was a joke.
- This is no joke.
- A bullet, you think you're the lone ranger?
- Inspector, can I see you outside for a second please?
- What did you tell everyone?
- I suggested they go home
and you would explain everything to them in the morning.
As you might imagine, they're probably quite shaken.
- What'd you tell them about Ted?
- Only that you were questioning him, nothing specific.
- What is it with a bullet?
- A werewolf can only be killed by fire or a silver bullet.
- My mother told me I'd be punished
if I spent my collection money on candy.
- Tomorrow night, nothing can stop
that beast in there from destroying this town.
- Oh yes it can, a nice safe jail.
- No inspector, no manmade jail can stop it.
Only death can do that.
(dramatic music)
- You'll be locked in this room until morning.
If you try to leave, you'll be shot.
- You guys are really serious?
You think I'm a killer.
- The guard's rifles are loaded with silver bullets.
(dramatic music)
- Who are you?
- [Werewolf] Don't you recognize me Miss?
Mary Lou?
(Marie screams)
(dramatic music)
- It's almost dusk.
It's pointless to wait any longer.
We dare not put this whole town at risk.
- John, doesn't it bother you?
You being a priest that you could just,
you know, kill a man.
- He's not a man inspector.
He's a beast.
It's the most dangerous instrument
of Satan that ever existed.
- Well, if Ted's the best thing that Satan can dig up
we don't have a whole lot to worry about.
- And just what are you inferring?
- That Ted has got to be the dumbest son
of a bitch and werewolf, who ever existed.
- [John] That's why he's so clever.
- Clever?
Since when has shooting yourself in the foot been clever?
Why Watson wouldn't have even needed Holmes
to work this one out.
- We have irrefutable proof,
Ted confessed, he is the werewolf.
- No, that's not right.
The only thing he's confessed to
is being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
- I was in Hungry, but I didn't kill anyone.
I was the one that was nearly killed.
I was left for dead.
Some villages found me in the snow a couple days later.
Then I find out that everyone had died.
And that was fine by me.
Draco, I've never heard of Draco, and that's the truth.
- The truth inspector, Marie Adams told us truth.
- How do you know John?
- [John] If you didn't.
- No, why should you believe Marie Adams and not Ted?
In the fantastic story department,
Ted doesn't hold a candle to Marie Adams.
- I know the truth when I hear it, Marie was God sent.
- Well we've hung it on everything else,
we might as well have some divine intervention.
So what happened this morning?
What category does Marie falling off
her balcony and breaking her neck fit in?
Are you going to cop a plea that it was Satan's revenge,
or maybe God was just on a coffee break?
- Sir.
I never seek to second guessed the ways of the almighty.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
- Oh, that's neat.
Well he giveth okay, but he sure lost us up on the taketh.
John, when Marie went over the balcony,
so did our case against Ted.
- Must I remind you it was you
who firmly established his guilt?
- You work for Alpha Production?
- [Ted] Yeah.
- Then prove it.
- I got a card.
No I don't, I left it at the phone box.
- Alpha Productions has never heard of you
and your supposed agent of Brett Davis?
He's a convicted felon.
- Ted killed Brett Davis just a surely
as he killed your police officer,
and the unfortunate parol even the towns people buried.
And do you care to know why?
- [Kester] Like it would make any difference.
- Brett Davis was blackmailing Ted,
he threatened to reveal Ted's true identity
and demanded 20,000 dollars in return for his silence.
Ted handed over the money.
Then had second thoughts about Davis's reliability
and decided the only way he could trust him
was to kill him.
- This whole kill Ted thing has been bothering me.
And I figured out why.
- [John] Go on.
- You want Ted dead.
Not because you're afraid for the town.
But because you're afraid for yourself.
You don't want to accept
the responsibility for what's happened.
- That's ridiculous.
- You received a report from the Vatican
four years ago and you ignored it.
- Do you know how many times I investigate tales
and rumors that are designed to discredit the church?
- I thought it was a doing a pretty
good job of that all by itself.
- [John] I'm not going to listen to this.
- Yes you are.
For this all to make sense,
the werewolf has to be in Pioneer town.
Now you said before that a werewolf
can take over another person's identity
and that's what I believe it's done.
My bet is that one of the townspeople is the werewolf.
The body being discovered was a mistake,
but the werewolf turned it to his advantage.
All it had to do is play the ace's up its sleeve.
Ted was the first ace, he was allowed to escape from
the castle, not knowing the fate of the others.
Marie Adams was a second ace.
She was under the werewolf's mind control.
And when he was finished with her, he killed her.
- Inspector.
- Hear me out.
The last ace was you John, a priest with a guilty soul.
I'll bet he had fun when he got inside of your head.
- That sir, is a gross insult.
- Truth hurts.
Ted was brought into Pioneer town
under the premise of digging up dirt.
That's why he was paid the 20,000 dollars.
The Catherine Little, who Ted never met
but talked to was Marie Adams.
Ted never had a chance.
He sold himself with the expose money.
And then when he wanted out, there was no way.
(dramatic music)
With Ted now in place, the werewolf used Marie Adams
to convince you of something
you desperately wanted to believe.
That the woman we were after was the wrong person.
The werewolf was subtle John.
It sicked you after Ted and you didn't disappoint it.
Marie's story was like a manna from heaven to you
because it lets you off the hook.
- And what about you inspector?
How do you fit into the plot?
- Oh, I wasn't an ace, John, just a face card.
An over the hill cop, just hanging out for retirement.
- You have presumed much inspector,
but there are gaps that need to be filled.
For instance, Jaro.
- I believe escape was the only way Ted thought
he could prove that he wasn't the werewolf.
- But you stopped him.
Obviously you were convinced.
- No, at the time, John, I probably wanted
him to be the werewolf as much as you did.
- [John] Then how do you explain Jaro's death?
- [Kester] After Ted left the room,
the werewolf came in and killed Jaro.
- For what reason?
- To make it personal.
Human nature is a funny thing, John.
- Listen, someone in this town killed Jaro.
It wasn't me.
- None of the other victims were directly
involved in the town, the beast couldn't
take a chance that the town might get cold feet.
It had to rile them up.
- You know you're just wasting time, just shoot him.
- So inspector, how do you expect me
to respond to these allegations?
And may I say, your character assassination?
- [Kester] By helping me find the real werewolf.
- You know, I would, if I agreed with your conclusions.
(dramatic music)
- [Ted] Anyone out there?
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- I have something to tell you.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling)
- He jumped me, then he ran away.
(door clicks)
(wood creaking) (dramatic music)
You stay here, I'll warn the town.
- Ted, it's okay, you can come down now.
There's no one here except me.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling)
Darn my key, I must have dropped it.
- Well what about the front door?
- Its locked.
Just break in the window.
(log thuds) (glass clatters)
Shut the drapes, we don't want anyone to see you.
Sit down Ted.
- How'd you know it wasn't me?
You're taking a hell of a risk.
- No I didn't.
- Well, no one else was convinced.
- That's the way I planned it.
- [Ted] What do you mean?
- You were perfect Ted.
I couldn't have made a better choice.
- You're the werewolf?
- Don't you recognize my voice?
You've heard it before, in Budapest.
- Mary Lou Sommers.
- Right, good guess.
- You set this up?
- Everything.
Brett Davis, Alpha Productions, Draco.
I'll take all the credit.
- You were Catherine Little.
- No, that was Marie Adams.
She was very convincing.
She had that priest wrapped around a little finger.
She could have told him anything
and he would have believed her.
- Why didn't you kill me in the room?
- No, Ted, it was much more convincing.
if you turned into the werewolf.
You broke into my house and then you attacked me.
- What happened to the real Cheryl?
- It was a terrible thing.
She died in the hospital and she wasn't very happy about it.
You've got about an hour Ted.
Thought I must say, hiding in the attic was pretty dumb.
You probably would have gotten away with it
if you'd run into the desert.
The priest has the whole town out there looking for you now.
- What's going to happen to the town?
- You really don't need to worry about that.
(suspenseful music)
Times up Ted.
(gun fires)
- Blank, Cheryl.
We set you up.
Just like you did to us.
- We knew Ted had to die before the full moon.
The real werewolf couldn't take a chance.
I thought it was you,
but I couldn't be sure until you rescued Ted.
Anyone else would have yelled for help or shot him.
- Well, aren't we smart?
But do you think you can really kill me
with that little gun inspector?
(suspenseful music)
(gun fires)
- Shit.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(audience cheering)
- Oh, we thank you so much for this beautiful benefit.
Thank all of our neighbors and our friends,
and Ted we're sorry.
I was looking at Pappy with that tail on his hat
and I thought about a song that I wrote just for him.
And the cleaning lady.
♪ Roaming the roads and where are you ♪
♪ Already bound for home
♪ Like the dirty dog you are, you aint getting no bone ♪
♪ I'm gonna cut off tail, tear up the mail ♪
♪ Turn off the telephone
♪ No more running the streets
♪ Chasing them cats
♪ When you get back
♪ I gave you and inch but you ran a mile ♪
♪ So I'm pulling in your leash
♪ And now you'll pay for those doggone ways ♪
♪ And what ya done to me
♪ I'm gonna cut off your tail
♪ Tear up the mail
♪ Cut off the telephone
♪ No more running the streets, chasing the cats ♪
♪ When you get back
- Hey Ted, get up here and sing with us.
Let's give it to him.
A nice big hand.
♪ And I was a big bad wolf
♪ Golly, gosh, oh gee
♪ How could you make such a big mistake ♪
♪ With a handsome devil like me ♪
♪ I'm gonna
(upbeat country music)
(dramatic music) (birds cawing)
- Jesus Christ.
- Holy shit, mother of God.
(dramatic music)
- He's dead inspector.
- Very good Watson.
(dramatic music)
- Who's Watson.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling) (dramatic music)
♪ How come you give me that old burning desire ♪
♪ How come you always light up that old fire ♪
♪ You caught me baby, so I come back slow ♪
♪ And when I get there I'm just howling at the moon ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come I never know just what you mean ♪
♪ And when I check on you you Communist eup clean ♪
♪ Something strange is surely going on ♪
♪ What makes me hurt to think you'll still be gone ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
♪ Don't take me now, you jump my heart this way ♪
♪ I know you make up something nice to say ♪
♪ Don't tell me lies I believe are true ♪
♪ Cause if you do it will come back on you ♪
♪ How come you get to me
♪ How come you get to me
(engine rumbling) (dramatic music)
♪ My heart was yearning and I felt so alive ♪
♪ Things don't ever turn out how they seem ♪
♪ I hope this whole thing might be more than a dream ♪
♪ How come you get to me
- [Man] You are aware of my work, are you not?
- [Man] Yes, you're a priest
who investigates the satanic possessions,
the occult, and just about anything
the church deems unsanitary.
The body was found about four weeks
after the circus left town.
- [Man] Inspector, why are you telling me this?
- The man was a transient.
The last time he was seeing was when
he was snatching a bag from this woman.
- This is an old photo.
Are you sure you have the right woman?
- May I?
She disappeared right after her bag was stolen.
We identified her through home video shot at the circus.
(dramatic music)
- [Father] Mary Lou Sommers.
- [Inspector] You want to tell me about her?
Like why you filed a missing persons report on her?
- First, I need to know more about this murder.
Specifically, how was he killed?
- Well the consensus of opinion is he was killed by a wolf.
The only thing is, is that this wolf
would have had to been twice
the size of the hound of the Baskervilles.
- What?
- Hound of the Baskervilles, it was a Sherlock.
- What else, inspector, what else?
- Well, according to the experts, the wolf attacked
while up, standing on its hind legs.
That would have made it well over six feet tall.
- Do you know what sort of wolf killed this man?
- A very big one?
(upbeat music)
♪ I like it when I put on a big cowboy hat ♪
♪ Goof around the kitchen and I make you laugh ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ And I like when we sit, quiet on the couch ♪
♪ Got this for your grin, and then you trace my mouth ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like this, I like it like that ♪
♪ I like the way you wear your big cowboy hat ♪
♪ I like it like that
♪ I like it like that
♪ And I like it when
- Good day, can I get a beer mate?
- It's a country jukebox.
- [Man] Not without George Jones.
- Huh?
- I said it's not a country jukebox without George Jones.
- Hey, it's got everyone else.
What's such a big deal about George Jones?
- From the Beatles to the Rolling Stones.
- If they could all sing like they wanted to.
- [Both] They'd all sing like George Jones.
- Jim, do you know who wrote that song?
- George Jones?
(men chuckling)
Jim the only thing you know
about country music is the first four letters.
- Brock.
- [Brock] Sorry Cheryl, I didn't know you could spell.
- Yeah, and I can also count up to 86.
(Brock chuckles)
- Hi, Bob Mile, nice to meet you
- Good day I'm Ted, Ted Smith.
- [Bob] This is Jim.
Said this is Jim.
- Hi Jim.
- I'm actually Ted, Ted.
- On a break from Australia?
- Oh yeah, but I flew most of the way.
- Are your arms tired?
- Only when I flap 'em.
- That could give you armrittis.
- It's all right, I've just had about of hipatitis.
- Yeah, a little bit further down your leg,
you'd probably get kneeumonia.
- Hell, I'd probably be more worried about small cox.
- [Ted] Well I'm pretty lucky there,
I've already had dicktheria.
- So what brings you to Pioneer town?
- Well, a fellow down in Yucca Valley,
tell me there was a job going here, so came up.
- Well Harriet's the one you're going to have to talk to.
- Harriet?
- Eveanne, do you know where Harriet's at?
- I think she's in out back.
- Went out like a lead balloon there,
what do you think it was?
My charm or my good looks?
- Hey dude, it takes a lot to impress that girl.
I mean a lot.
- The being that killed that man
is none other than our adversary, the devil
in a lichenthropic manifestation.
- You want to subtitle that for me Father?
- The killer is a werewolf.
- I knew it was going to be a bad day
when I got up this morning.
You mean to tell me that the victim was killed by a.
- A werewolf inspector.
♪ He never calls me
♪ I wait by the phone, he always leave me ♪
♪ So I'm here all alone
♪ He never needs me
- How yo doing Cathy?
Hey.
Give me a drink, Jim, I need one bad.
How's the benefit doing?
- Good, getting closer.
How are you feeling?
- I'll tell you better after I have my drink.
(boys shouting)
Them kids under age?
- No Pappy, you know better than that.
We check everyone's ID.
- [Brock] Didn't check mine.
- Shut up Brock.
(men chuckles)
- What's this?
- Soda water Pappy.
- Damn it Jim, I wanted a drink.
- Sorry Pappy, Harriet's orders.
- Since when has she been giving orders around here?
- [Brock] Since 1974.
(men chuckling)
- Pappy, I'd like you to meet Ted.
He came here looking for work.
- Good day there, you're the boss here, are ya?
- I run the place.
What are you smiling at?
- [Jim] Oh nothing Pappy.
- Well hi Ted, Bob said you were looking for work.
- Yeah, that's right Harriet.
- Well good, you know well we don't pay much,
but you can have some food and a place to sleep.
- Well I'll tell you what,
that's the best offer I've had to date.
- [Harriet] Good.
(upbeat country music)
♪ Now love's a memory, cold as stone ♪
♪ But I need my heart so I won't be alone ♪
♪ Crazy heart, crazy heart
♪ Come back to me
♪ Crazy heart, crazy heart
- Thursday, everything according to plan.
Land a job.
Now I've got to find out about
the town before they find out about me.
(upbeat music)
♪ Then we danced in private
♪ Into the day
♪ If there's a chance that you want me ♪
♪ Then take me
♪ I promise love that's true eternally ♪
- [Harriet] Everybody.
♪ I spent the night
- Teds a cowboy?
- [Bob] Hey Ted.
- Yeah?
- You used to ride in rodeos in Australia, didn't you?
- Hell yeah, I was nearly Australian champion.
- Australian champion?
What stopped you Ted?
- Kept falling off the horse.
(men chuckling)
- Hey Jack, looks like you've been getting
your shirts out of Jacqueline's side of the closet again.
(chuckling)
Good night Jacqueline.
- I hate to sound skeptical.
I believed in Santa Claus till I was eight years old.
- I'm not a flippant man nor a religious zealot,
but everything I'm about to tell you
is based on fact not supposition.
- Okay, facts I can deal with.
- These facts go back 500 years.
- Excuse me, 500 years?
- [Father] Yes.
- This is going to be a long story?
- Especially if you keep interrupting.
- Point taken.
- Late in the 15th century inspector,
the Vatican sent an inquisition team
to Hungary near Budapest
because there had been reports of a werewolf sighting.
The night before the team arrived at the castle,
Count Shusko poisoned everyone,
then killed himself and his wife,
Of course their deaths were seen in his admission of guilt.
And without exorcism, it meant
that the evil still prevailed within the castle.
The inquisition believed that Satan
had taken the castle under his protection.
They ordered the castle to be razed.
Three times they set fire to it
but each time the fire went out.
After that, no one would even walk
in the shadow of the castle's walls,
let alone set foot inside it.
- The bar actually made a little profit.
Considering that a certain someone never
writes down anything that he spends our drink.
- Then get rid of them of him Harriet.
I don't want anybody around that can't do their job.
What are you smiling at?
- Oh, nothing.
You know Pappy, I was thinking how about an early night?
- I was thinking of helping Jim, he may be busy.
- If it gets busy I'll help out.
- Goodnight girls.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- [Woman] Leslee, you look terrific,
are you losing a little weight?
- I think so, I think this new pit diet's working.
- I got the best diet, Leslee.
- Hey, come here you do?
What kind of diet's that?
- It's the vodka diet.
- The vodka diet?
Get outta here.
- Yeah, I drink vodka all the time.
- Does it work.
- Hell yeah, lost three days already.
(women laughing)
- This isn't a line dance.
- Real men don't line dance.
- He's a dancery man.
- I thought he said he was a cowboy.
(men laughing)
♪ You gave me the old twist and shout ♪
♪ Best one of my time
♪ I give her the old rock and roll and I'm still on her mind ♪
♪ I couldn't change or rearrange ♪
♪ The things I know are you
♪ Cause nobody tells my baby what to do ♪
♪ I got caught in the middle
♪ And I love her just a little bit too long ♪
- Planned that well, didn't he?
- Bonnie, you make him sound like such a schemer.
- If the shoes fit wear it.
♪ Cause nobody tells my baby what to do ♪
- Told ya he could dance.
- We know Jim.
- Hey, I know when I'm not wanted.-
- No you don't.
(upbeat country music)
- So, did I pass?
- Wasn't a test.
- Wasn't it?
- Tell me what you're really doing in Pioneer town.
- The whole place was boarded up
and forgotten until 1987 when
the communist government in its infinite wisdom
decided the place would
make an excellent tourist attraction.
The first group that included the woman in your photograph.
When they walked up the stairs that day,
like the occupants of the castle 500 years ago,
they too were destined never to get out alive.
The official story was that
they had gotten lost during a freak blizzard
in the labyrinth of tunnels beneath the castle.
A subsequent fire destroyed the castle,
caused the tunnels to collapse
and made the bodies impossible to recover.
That was the official story.
- Excuse me for interrupting, do you have another name?
I feel a bit self conscious and I don't mean any disrespect.
- You can call me John.
- John, that's good, John.
It's getting late, it's 12:45
and I'd really like to take a rain check
on the rest of the story.
Not that it's not interesting.
I just think it's a tad more than I'd expected.
And I'd like some time just to kind of think it through.
- Inspector much work needs to be done.
- I understand, it has my utmost priority,
but I really must go.
- Where sir?
- To the nearest bar.
(ominous music)
- I just got tired of the whole LA scene
and decided to get out.
- Ted, its not important, I'm sorry I asked.
- Ted.
- What?
- You coming back to the motel?
- Yes, he his.
Goodnight Ted.
- Bob, it's so nice of you to walk me back to the motel.
I mean, I really appreciate it.
- Look, after her husband died,
hasn't really been interested in anybody.
- This is me.
- You'd have a better chance with Madonna.
- I've been there, done that.
- Really, Madonna?
- Would a bullshiter bullshit a bullshiter?
- How was she like?
- Who?
- Madonna.
- About the same as your sister.
- That good?
- You are sick you hear me, sick, sick, sick.
Town's perfect.
Vulnerable, people easily manipulated.
Why do I care if I hurt them?
It's never bothered me before.
(dramatic music)
- [Harriet] Okay now, this is really a story song.
I was on the road with my band, just singing away.
Had a little trouble and I had to come home a week early.
And I thought I'm not going to call Pappy,
I'm just going to go home and surprise him.
Well I was the one that was surprised
because when I was walking up my, my door,
there was Pappy, give them singing lessons
to this little blonde and I opened the door and I said.
- God this urinals small.
- [Harriet] I wrote this for him
from the bottom of my heart.
- You reckon it's small Ted?
- What?
- Its small, isn't it?
- Cocktail weenie Brock.
(men chuckles)
It's tough shaming Brock.
♪ So take him if you want him
♪ And keep him if you can
♪ But let me tell you sister
♪ That's one hell of a man
♪ And he'll love you like you never been loved before ♪
♪ But watch him love another before you're out the door ♪
♪ Take him if you want him
♪ And keep him if you can
♪ But let me tell you sister
♪ That's one hell of a man
(audience applauding)
- Now listen girls, I wrote that song a long time ago.
(audience laughing)
♪ You know men with women
♪ They have a role to play
♪ He runs around at night and she's at home to stay ♪
♪ There's a million other dancing just about like you ♪
♪ And there'll be a dozen more
♪ Before he's through
♪ And he'll love you like you never have been loved before ♪
- Five, six, seven, eight.
(dramatic country music)
♪ She's a circuit rider
♪ At the midnight rodeo
♪ Deep in the heart
♪ Of Texas tonight
- Ted.
We're closing, you better wake up sleeping beauty.
- Yeah?
Oh, what do you want?
- Sorry, we're closing, you have to leave now.
- Who's gonna make me?
- Him.
(women laughing)
(dramatic country music)
The hell are you doing in there?
- [Man] How about if I told your friends
in there what you really are?
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
- Does he know you?
(Ted chuckles)
- He's so plastered he wouldn't know his own mother.
Even if he went to the zoo.
(heart beating) (eerie music)
- [Jack] Hey, what's going on out there?
- I thought I heard something out here.
(suspenseful music)
Something's spooking the deer.
- Oh for crying out, come back in here,
some damn fool or coyote.
(suspenseful music)
(heart beating) (eerie music)
(dramatic country music)
(door rattling)
(suspenseful music)
(werewolf growling) (dramatic music)
(screaming) (dramatic music)
(werewolf growls)
(dramatic music)
(door rattles)
(dramatic music) (clattering)
(engine rumbling)
- It was an awful scream, I'm surprised you didn't hear it.
It woke me up.
- Hear more than a scream if he ever comes back here.
- Well, after the scream, I looked through my window
and I saw someone wandering around
It looked like Ted.
- Ted?
What does he go to do with it?
- Well, they had a fight at the bar last night.
- Well, do me a favor and go look for Ted
and ask him if he knows anything about this.
- Okay.
(suspenseful music)
(engine rumbling)
(car door bangs)
- He's gone all right, he must've hitched
a ride on one of those big rigs.
- You know, I tell Jim not
to serve those drunks, but he does anyhow.
- You want me to get Jaro to come and fix this door?
- Yeah, as soon as he's done fixing the wiring at the bar.
He better be working over there.
- Oh yeah, he's over at the bar.
- Thanks for looking hun.
- Okay.
- You're an hour late Jaro.
(dramatic country music)
- Jim, you seen Ted?
- I think he's over there.
(dramatic country music)
Ted, Cheryl was looking for you.
- That's the story of my life Jim.
- She's over there.
- Now Jim, you missed a bit there.
(men chuckling)
(eerie music)
- [Ted] Cheryl, you looking for something?
- Well, yes, actually I was looking for you.
You know that drunk, the one you had
the fight with last night?
- [Ted] Yeah.
- He disappeared this morning.
- Disappeared?
What's that got to do with me?
- Well Harriet asked me to see
if you knew anything about it.
- No.
Why would I know anything about it?
- Well, didn't you hear him screaming,
you were outside weren't you?
About three o'clock this morning.
- No, no, I was asleep, I was dead to the world.
Sorry Cheryl, no.
- The tour guide told the real story
to a priest as he was dying.
A freak blizzard had blown up that night.
Stranding.
None of them seem overly concerned.
They were not to know that the spirit of the werewolf
had already assumed the identity of one of the group.
Even as they were enjoying their drinks,
the beast among them was planning their demise.
When they went to explore the castle, the killing started.
The werewolf was picking them off one by one.
They could not bring themselves to accept the truth.
They thought one of the group must have gone insane.
Ted, the only Australian became the fall guy
and he was never seen again
(dramatic chord)
As panic set in, the killings continued.
(dramatic music)
No one was sure who to trust.
They took sides out of sheer desperation.
Finally, there were only three of them left.
(dramatic music)
Each of the men thought the other was the werewolf.
And it was Mary Lou who made the final choice.
(suspenseful music)
(gun fires)
The wrong one.
- That's quite a bit to absorb John.
Mind if we just kind of take a break
and get a little fresh air?
(dramatic country music)
- I don't understand why you sent that drunk Davis here.
You're going to blow my cover.
Seem crazy to me.
Luckily, he's gone.
I don't know.
Okay, bye.
(dramatic chord)
(suspenseful music)
- Exercise is good.
Helps me think, the oxygen refreshes my brain.
- I wouldn't have taken you
for someone interested in physical fitness inspector.
- Oh, I watch a lot of football.
I once had a friend that died of jogging.
I just went out and the first time he just fell over, died.
- Well, that's terrible.
How old was he?
- 94.
- you're making fun of me inspector.
- No.
- Ted said he was asleep, but I'm positive
it was him outside that man's room.
- Why would he lie?
Unless he had something to hide.
- That's what worries me.
Especially since I'm sure it was
that man Brett Davis's briefcase under Ted's bed.
- Hi Cheryl, hi Bonnie.
- Hi.
- Can you give me some help at the bar for a minute?
- Sure.
- Okay.
♪ Lead the wolves away from the door ♪
♪ That's the only things aman like me is good for ♪
- Jaro, Did you hear any noises last night?
There's something was spooking the deer.
- No, I didn't.
(engine rumbling)
- I heard something.
- Come on, we're late.
Are you going to walk or ride?
- Hey Jack, how come you wearing Jacqueline shirt?
(Jaro chuckles)
(engine rumbling)
- That's how we heard the story.
The count told the priest as he was dying, remember?
- That confession.
- The count was wrong, David was found dead.
Mary Lou was never seen again.
- Until now.
- Yes inspector.
- [Woman] I thought you may like some tea.
- Thank you Sybil.
- You're a police man.
I've got a son that's in Burstow and he's got a wife
and her friend's a policemen.
I've got another daughter, she lives here too.
But I've got another three daughters,
but they're not all there.
- Thank you Sybil, you can go now.
- It's been a real pleasure meeting you
and I hope when you go to Burstow you'll look, my son up.
- We're in Burstow.
- Oh, never do know where I am.
- Sybil.
- [Sybil] Stupid.
- Time is running out for us inspector.
- Us?
- You can't do this by yourself.
I'm going to provide you with some pastoral support.
- Listen, I appreciate your offer, but.
- Inspector there's more.
- More?
I knew it.
I'm going to warn you though on becoming shockproof.
- Good.
Because very soon it will be three years to the day
since that Hungarian castle burned to the ground.
Three years is the time it takes a werewolf
to grow to full strength, to reach maturity, if you please.
Inspector I've already checked the calendar.
This date will coincide with our upcoming full moon.
- I take it back, a full moon?
I know this is going to get worse.
- But the conjunction of these forces will be devastating.
Once a werewolf does developed fully
then behold its first full moon
it becomes in engorged with an awesome new power.
- I don't want to hear about it.
What?
- Now inspector, your werewolf will
be able to change others into its own kind.
- And how do you know all this?
- I've always known the theories of werewolves.
- You realized that if I told my superiors
this story, they'd probably have me committed.
- Then the less said the better.
- Cheryl, I got the key.
- Ted's room?
Let's go.
(dramatic country music)
(suspenseful music)
Did you find it?
- I found it.
It's full of tapes.
(suspenseful music)
It's George Jones.
- Does the briefcase have gold corners?
- No.
- Check the cabinets.
(suspenseful music)
Ted.
- Cheryl, you know, we've got to stop meeting like this.
(suspenseful music)
You here for any reason?
- No, I was just standing here waiting.
- Waiting for who, Gurdo?
I don't think he's going to come Cheryl.
(suspenseful music)
(door clicks)
(dramatic country music)
(suspenseful music)
(Cheryl knocks)
(suspenseful music)
- I'm telling you, my deer we're really spooked
because something, something was in the park.
- Hey Bob, you weren't trying
to find a good looking one, were you?
- Not me, I've been in the desert too long.
- Put a bag over their head
and you wouldn't know the difference anyway.
- Well that's a relief.
I'm telling you for a moment
I just thought, you know.
- I'm serious Ted, whatever was spooking
the deer was not normal.
- Not normal?
- No.
- Oh, well that really narrows the field.
Right?
- Reading you loud and clear dude.
Brock.
- Brock.
- Brock?
- He's not an animal.
- Well he's not human.
No, no.
- [Jim] No way.
- No way.
♪ Rumor says she drove her daddy crazy ♪
♪ I don't care cause it's just all right ♪
♪ When the band is higher than a Friday night ♪
♪ I used to stand in the crowd and watch her dance ♪
♪ And I'd dream
♪ If I could get the chance
♪ Practice real hard and then I head to school ♪
♪ I'll be rocking by every single week or two ♪
- Really, Brock, it was him?
- Huh?
- Brock.
- What?
- What were you doing with my deer?
- Wandering around at night.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Hope you weren't wearing gold lama dress.
- Hell no, I lent it to Jim.
(Jim chuckles)
♪ Heard her scream
♪ From back there baby when my mama said ♪
♪ That she could dance in bed
♪ The best little babies never felt the same ♪
- Thanks.
Hey Ted, you into anyone else besides George Jones?
- As a matter of fact, Brock,
I'm into necrophilia, sadism, and bestiality.
- Ted.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, but I think I'm plugging a dead horse.
(all laughing)
♪ Rock on, rock on really, really and have a ball with me ♪
- Ted I didn't want whiskey, I wanted a water.
- Water?
- W-A-T-T-E-R water.
Oh, hi Harriet.
♪ She's got quick silver feet and a long ponytail ♪
- Well anyway, get back to me.
♪ My God rock on really, really ♪
♪ And have a ball with me
(upbeat country music)
- Hey, you red headed faggot.
Why don't you get a haircut boy?
- Hate for the wool prices to go up.
♪ Yeah rock on
♪ Rock on willy nilly and have a ball with me ♪
(upbeat country music)
(audience applauding)
- All right Leslee.
- Elvis Castello sang country?
- Yeah, Almost Blue was the album.
And he sang a song with George Jones.
- Who's George Jones?
- Who's George Jones?
- Want me to lead off?
- Hey you smart alec.
Yeah I'm talking to you, smart ass.
- Be with you in a minute, all right?
So you think I'm smart do you?
- No, I don't think you're smart.
I think you're just a smart ass.
- Oh, I bet you double whatever you got,
that I can drink that beer, without touching my hat.
- [Man] It's a trick.
- [Man] Yeah, I know it's a trick.
- Put your money up.
- He ain't gonna make a fool out of me.
This boy ain't stupid.
(Ted Laughs)
- Well you certainly got us fooled.
- [Man] Hey, what are you doing?
- I'm gonna drink it through the table.
- [Man] What are ya doing?
- Keep an eye on, he wants you to do that, watch the hat.
Watch the hat.
You didn't drink that beer.
- The heck I did, I drank it through the table.
- [Man] Hey, I saw him do that.
- I told ya he didn't drink that beer.
- [Man] Then what's he got?
- Without touching my hat.
- Hey, that's out money.
- You're not gonna start trouble my man.
- [Man] I aint looking for no trouble.
- [Man] Let's get out of here.
- I ain't going nowhere until I get my damn money.
- You lost your money, fair and square.
Better be going now.
- No, no this ain't right, I'm going to get you.
- Congratulations, can I buy you a drink?
- Well, you can twist my arm, consider it twisted.
- He made a fool of us.
- Cool it man, let it go.
- No, no, I'm gonna get that guy.
- Just let it go, man.
- No, you let it go man.
- Who wants to hear Pappy sing?
(audience cheering)
All right.
Pappy come on down, sing for all the folks.
Ladies and gentlemen Pappy Allen.
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Everybody sit down now.
(audience cheering)
♪ Ever had a hot date, one of those I can't wait ♪
♪ Things get a little out of hand ♪
♪ And a little of a good night, have you ever got ♪
♪ In the backseat of our van
♪ I say stand up
♪ Have you ever been there
- Come on now
♪ Stand up
♪ Tell us all about it
♪ Stand up
♪ Have you ever been there
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
♪ Ever met a woman, midnight romance ♪
♪ Party till your money's all gone ♪
♪ The shiny Mona Lisa oh she wrote on her visa ♪
♪ Took a bartender home
♪ Say stand up
♪ Have you ever been
- Come on honey.
♪ Stand up
♪ Identify, stand up
♪ Have you ever been down
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
- Band, one more time
♪ Stand up
♪ Tell us all about it
♪ Stand up
♪ Testify, testify
♪ Stand up
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Never gonna move Friday nights in Pioneer town.
- That police man's outside and it's very late.
- I asked him to come Sybil.
- Shall I show him in?
I thought you were outside.
- You told me to come in.
- Did I?
- [John] Sybil, can you get us some tea?
- Certainly.
- I have a theory.
- All ready?
- The only area which is completely isolated
is up here in the Morongo basin, above Yucca Valley.
I think this is where she's hiding.
- I've had pictures over distributed through that area.
Not a nibble.
- But what if she's in disguised?
- It's just that a disguise is really hard to maintain.
- Not necessarily inspector,
not if she has taken over the body of another person.
(dramatic music)
- Ted, I'm sorry, you'll have to go.
- Why, what's wrong?
- It's been a long time and I want to be sure, okay?
Please, just go.
(dramatic music)
Ted.
This really means a lot to me.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- Okay smart ass, let's see how smart I really am.
(suspenseful music)
(man cries out)
(dogs howling) (dogs barking)
(upbeat music)
- Pappy, where's Harriet?
- Can't you see I'm cooking Deloris?
- Please Pappy, where is she?
- She's over at Cheryl's.
(upbeat country music)
(chili bubbling)
- How come there's dirt in the chili?
- I need a drink.
(upbeat country music)
♪ Just called to say I love
♪ All the things you do
- How can anyone drink this stuff?
(Ted knocks)
Don't just stand there with your mouth open.
Get the man a drink.
- Thanks Pappy.
- [Jaro] What did I tell you?
- Jaro, you were right, it is Brett Davis.
- What's that in his pocket?
- What'd it say?
- Real nice guy, he was out on parol for murder.
- Harriet, bury him, you don't need this.
No ones gonna know anything.
- I don't know, we should call the police.
- They don't need to know anything.
Maybe we should ask Pappy.
- Don't ask Pappy anything,
he's already had one heart attack,
he doesn't need another one.
- You can take care of the lion.
Drive it off.
- Jaro's right Harriet, it won't make any difference to him.
- Well this could be the dumbest
or the smartest thing I've ever done,
but y'all just bury him.
- I'm walking across the flat right?
I'm just minding my own business, nothing to do.
- Hey Brock.
- Pappy you know you got dirt in your chili?
- I know.
- Did you hear Ted got attacked last night by that guy,
the one he took the money from.
- Well shit, what happened?
- The guy grabs me, around the neck,
gets out his knife and he sticks it against me jugular mate.
- You must have shit yourself?
- The fact that he was insane, about kill me.
I was completely fearless.
- I hear you carved your way through a wall of human flesh.
- Absolutely true.
In a helicopter, Vietnam, 300 feet, I jumped straight out.
- Is that the time your rifle rusted up?
- Yup, when I was going through the rain shadow, that's it.
- That's the time you used your bayonet, wasn't it?
- That's how I carved my way through a wall of human flesh.
(men laughing)
- Anyhow, getting back to the story, right?
So there's morons got me around the throat right?
And I throw into the ground,
bang, he goes down.
Next minute hands on his hip fellas.
All of a sudden, the stars at night
♪ Are big and bright
(zippers zipping)
♪ And in the heart of Texas
- Took him out like a light, I don't know what it was.
- I hate to say it but he's back.
- Who's back?
- That coyote that jumps out of trees at night.
(door creaks)
- Pappy, do you know there's dirt in the chili?
- I know it, I know it honey.
- And another thing is Jaro said
there's mountain lion tracks all around the motel.
- I think I'm gonna fight.
(upbeat country music)
- Jaro, Jaro.
(upbeat country music)
Take it with you.
(upbeat country music)
(Jaro farting)
(Ted laughing) (upbeat country music)
- Dolores you literally dragged Harriet out of my house
this morning, and now you can't say anything?
- You're gonna have to ask Harriet about that.
- Dolores, there's something going on.
We have a right to know.
- Harriet, what's going on?
- Was someone attacked?
- I didn't say anything.
- Okay, girls, but I'll tell you
this we'll have to stay within these four walls.
No one else is to know about this, all right?
- Cheryl mountain lions don't attack someone
unless they're dead or injured already.
- What are you saying?
- Ted had a fight with this guy, what if he left him there,
injured or dead, and then the mountain lion got him?
- But that's terrible Bonnie.
- So is been an accessory to murder.
- Murder?
- One guy comes up missing, one guy turns up dead,
and both times, who's involved?
Ted.
- No way Bonnie, no way.
- Well Cheryl, I think Ted knew
that we were searching his room.
(dramatic music)
- Jaro, there's aint to damn mountain lion out here.
We haven't seen a single track.
- There has to be.
- Look, we're wasting valuable drinking time.
- Yeah, if there was anything out here, it's gone now.
♪ Keep the wolves away from the door ♪
♪ Now that's the only thing a man like me is good for ♪
- Nothing, no tracks anywhere?
- Nope.
- You didn't see anything?
- Nope, I didn't.
- You went around the whole town?
- All around, I look everywhere.
- Jesus Harriet, he didn't see anything.
How many more time do you want him to tell you?
- I just want to be sure.
- There's something you're not telling me Harriet,
something's wrong, you're awful upset about something.
- It's okay, honey.
You know, one of us should be over at the bar
and I've got some more work I have to do.
- I'll go to the bar, honey.
You don't need rush.
(upbeat country music)
(phone rings)
- Hello inspector.
- No father, it's Marie Adams.
Do you remember me?
Can you come to my house?
- Oh, Bonnie, let it go.
I don't know where you get these ideas.
Ted's okay.
- You've made your bed, you lie in it.
- Listen, for your information,
Ted hasn't been in my bed, okay?
- Yeah sure.
♪ So has all the crime
♪ No temptation, no desire
♪ No attempt to light that fire ♪
♪ You make me fall for you
♪ Just the way that I used to
♪ No temptation, no desire
♪ No attempt to light that fire ♪
♪ You make me fall for you the way that I used to ♪
(upbeat country music)
♪ I've been trying somebody yelled ♪
♪ No I haven't even tried
♪ Here you are with me
♪ Firing off a single live wire ♪
♪ Surely you know you're beautiful tonight ♪
♪ Love come with a catch
♪ And I'm gonna pay the price
♪ No temptation no desire
(slow country music)
- [Bob] Ted.
- I don't believe this.
- [Bob] Ted are you coming back to the motel?
- No he isn't.
(slow country music)
(suspenseful music)
- I'm really scared, that's why I called you.
Father do you believe in werewolves?
- What do werewolves have to do with you?
- They tried to kill me.
- Hello?
Is this the chief ranger?
Could you tell him if there's
been any mountain lion activity reported
in the Joshua tree area?
(suspenseful music)
Well, a friend told me.
I'm sorry, no.
(suspenseful music)
Could you just please answer my question?
(suspenseful music)
- Bonnie, this isn't blood on the shirt, it's red paint.
- Paint would cover a man's blood on a shirt.
- What's got into you, Bonnie?
- Ted, Harriet.
There's something more going on in this town
than just that body you buried.
- Oh my God, look.
It was in his pocket.
- Brett Davis's ID card.
What was it doing in Ted's shirt?
- He told Eveanne he didn't know him.
(knocking)
- Excuse me, Harriet.
Can I see you for a moment?
- Thanks Jaro.
(suspenseful music)
- They found a man buried at the monument.
Says he was attacked by some wild animal.
Unconfirmed confirmed reports.
Said there's been sightings of an animal
that looked almost half human.
- That's why the ranger wouldn't tell you anything.
- You see that woman in the newspaper
who they want a question about the killing?
I found this in Brett Davis's room after he disappeared.
- I think you'd better call the cops.
- You know I'm a writer and I had this nervous breakdown.
Well, the doctor said that I needed to get away.
So Richard my husband,
found this really nice secluded place in the mountains
and the people there were really friendly.
Probably too friendly.
I had no idea that this place
was actually a colony for werewolves.
- A colony?
Of course.
- Excuse me?
- Nothing, I'm sorry I interrupted.
- I wasn't feeling very well.
I had taken a couple of sleeping pills
and was waiting for Richard to come back from his walk.
She wasn't there by accident.
She wanted Richard.
(dramatic music)
I knew he was hurt.
He told me that she had attacked him,
that she was a werewolf.
But the next day he changed his story.
He said it was all in my mind.
My imagination overreacting again, all he had was a scratch.
That night we had an argument.
He wouldn't listen.
He just got angry and left the house.
I heard his screams, there were frightening.
(dramatic music)
He was changing and there was nothing I could do.
I had to get away.
(dramatic music)
I realized they would come after me,
that I would never be free.
So I returned to Draco.
(engine rumbling)
And pretended to hide in the bell tower.
They came after me.
And when they were inside,
I locked the doors and set the place on fire.
(bell tower booming)
(screaming)
No one survived, not even my husband.
So that's it.
What should I do?
- Marie, I want to show you something.
(briefcase clattering)
- What is it?
- Do you know this woman?
- No.
But this, this is the man.
He worked on a tow truck.
(dramatic music)
I thought I killed him, but.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Hold on, it's an inspector Kester inspector for you.
- Inspector?
The police think they found this man.
- What, he's here?
- Okay, I wrote this song about people my age
that realize drug use is a waste of time.
And you guys all know the words, so sing along.
One, and a two, and a three, and a.
♪ Well they don't make good drugs like they used to ♪
♪ Too much medatol, too much meat ♪
♪ Too much cocaine
♪ Finding ground up coffee in my heroin ♪
♪ Each morning before I do my cocaine ♪
♪ And toothpaste I'm sure will take place of the base ♪
♪ There used to be good old methedrine ♪
♪ I think I see hair with my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
♪ Oh sand nose and Oslie were creators ♪
♪ Things that we'll never see again ♪
♪ And like poke of gold, I heard all these souls ♪
♪ To a mayor who lives like Huck Finn. ♪
♪ And speed I wish you never left me ♪
♪ Cause my house will never be clean again ♪
♪ I think I see hair in my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
♪ Oh I think I see hair in my prescription beer ♪
♪ I'll never do drugs again
(audience applauding) (audience cheering)
- Jack, hey that's nice shirt.
- You really like that Ted?
- Yeah, I even liked it when Jacqueline was wearing it.
Jack?
Jack!
(bottles clattering)
- Eveanne, Ted tried to bring George Jones.
(Eveanne chuckles)
- He's trying to convert the world.
- [Teds Casset] The place is made up
of dropouts and misfits.
People trying to keep alive dreams
that never had any hope of fulfillment.
They live in a past as they have invented,
justifying their wrongdoings,
blaming society for all their ills.
The dirt is everywhere.
It's a regular landmine of drama and intrigue.
I feel safe here.
The shade conspiracies hiding out with protected secrets.
(dramatic music)
- I'm sorry.
You weren't meant to hear this.
(dramatic music)
(door clatters)
- Are you going to hold him until
the inspector comes from LA?
- Something like that.
- You I think he's the killer?
- That's what we're going to find out.
(car door bangs)
(dramatic music)
(cops knocking)
- Would you mind stepping outside?
- What?
- Step outside.
Yeah, you and I are going somewhere
and having a little talk.
- Hey, what's this about?
- That's for me to know and you to find out.
(dramatic music)
(door creaks)
Get in there.
Now I'm going to ask you some questions
and you better hope I like the answers.
- Fuck you.
- Now what about that fight you had last night?
- Guy was trying to kill me, that was all that happened.
(suspenseful music)
- Then how come he ends up dead,
and your clothes are covered in blood?
- Dead, what do you mean dead?
- Don't play dumb with me.
Now, what about Brett Davis?
- What about Brett Davis?
- You had his ID card in your pocket.
- Oh you're fucking crazy.
(dramatic music)
You think if I had something
to hide I'd still be around here?
- Better wise up asshole.
- Listen shit for brains.
(Ted cries out)
- [Cop] What did you call me?
- If you hit me one more time with that stick,
I'm gonna take it and jam up your ass so far,
your nose is gonna bleed.
(dramatic music)
(cop cries out)
- Starting to make me mad boy.
- Mad?
You're fucking nuts.
(dramatic music)
you want more of this?
Tough guy.
Okay.
(engine rumbling)
(suspenseful music)
- You're dead boy.
Dead, do you hear me?
(suspenseful music)
Shit.
(suspenseful music)
(werewolf growling) (dramatic music)
(cop screams)
- Hold it right there, police.
Alpha Productions gave you the cash
to run an expose on this town?
- [Ted] Right.
- Why would they do that?
- Because allegedly, this town
contains half of America's most wanted.
- And this Brett Davis brought you the cash?
- [Ted] He was gonna give me a cheque in LA,
I said I wanted cash, so he brought it here.
- How come you had his ID?
- I didn't, it was planted planted.
- Planted, who planted it?
- I don't know.
- Good old second base?
- Third, what's on second?
- I've got two, maybe three bodies
with your name written all over them.
- Hey wait a minute, it was an animal that killed that cop,
and it was an animal that killed
that dick head the night before.
- An animal set you up?
- [Ted] Yes, it was mountain lion man.
- Whoever it was, they certainly
had the power to change form.
- That was a joke.
- This is no joke.
- A bullet, you think you're the lone ranger?
- Inspector, can I see you outside for a second please?
- What did you tell everyone?
- I suggested they go home
and you would explain everything to them in the morning.
As you might imagine, they're probably quite shaken.
- What'd you tell them about Ted?
- Only that you were questioning him, nothing specific.
- What is it with a bullet?
- A werewolf can only be killed by fire or a silver bullet.
- My mother told me I'd be punished
if I spent my collection money on candy.
- Tomorrow night, nothing can stop
that beast in there from destroying this town.
- Oh yes it can, a nice safe jail.
- No inspector, no manmade jail can stop it.
Only death can do that.
(dramatic music)
- You'll be locked in this room until morning.
If you try to leave, you'll be shot.
- You guys are really serious?
You think I'm a killer.
- The guard's rifles are loaded with silver bullets.
(dramatic music)
- Who are you?
- [Werewolf] Don't you recognize me Miss?
Mary Lou?
(Marie screams)
(dramatic music)
- It's almost dusk.
It's pointless to wait any longer.
We dare not put this whole town at risk.
- John, doesn't it bother you?
You being a priest that you could just,
you know, kill a man.
- He's not a man inspector.
He's a beast.
It's the most dangerous instrument
of Satan that ever existed.
- Well, if Ted's the best thing that Satan can dig up
we don't have a whole lot to worry about.
- And just what are you inferring?
- That Ted has got to be the dumbest son
of a bitch and werewolf, who ever existed.
- [John] That's why he's so clever.
- Clever?
Since when has shooting yourself in the foot been clever?
Why Watson wouldn't have even needed Holmes
to work this one out.
- We have irrefutable proof,
Ted confessed, he is the werewolf.
- No, that's not right.
The only thing he's confessed to
is being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
- I was in Hungry, but I didn't kill anyone.
I was the one that was nearly killed.
I was left for dead.
Some villages found me in the snow a couple days later.
Then I find out that everyone had died.
And that was fine by me.
Draco, I've never heard of Draco, and that's the truth.
- The truth inspector, Marie Adams told us truth.
- How do you know John?
- [John] If you didn't.
- No, why should you believe Marie Adams and not Ted?
In the fantastic story department,
Ted doesn't hold a candle to Marie Adams.
- I know the truth when I hear it, Marie was God sent.
- Well we've hung it on everything else,
we might as well have some divine intervention.
So what happened this morning?
What category does Marie falling off
her balcony and breaking her neck fit in?
Are you going to cop a plea that it was Satan's revenge,
or maybe God was just on a coffee break?
- Sir.
I never seek to second guessed the ways of the almighty.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
- Oh, that's neat.
Well he giveth okay, but he sure lost us up on the taketh.
John, when Marie went over the balcony,
so did our case against Ted.
- Must I remind you it was you
who firmly established his guilt?
- You work for Alpha Production?
- [Ted] Yeah.
- Then prove it.
- I got a card.
No I don't, I left it at the phone box.
- Alpha Productions has never heard of you
and your supposed agent of Brett Davis?
He's a convicted felon.
- Ted killed Brett Davis just a surely
as he killed your police officer,
and the unfortunate parol even the towns people buried.
And do you care to know why?
- [Kester] Like it would make any difference.
- Brett Davis was blackmailing Ted,
he threatened to reveal Ted's true identity
and demanded 20,000 dollars in return for his silence.
Ted handed over the money.
Then had second thoughts about Davis's reliability
and decided the only way he could trust him
was to kill him.
- This whole kill Ted thing has been bothering me.
And I figured out why.
- [John] Go on.
- You want Ted dead.
Not because you're afraid for the town.
But because you're afraid for yourself.
You don't want to accept
the responsibility for what's happened.
- That's ridiculous.
- You received a report from the Vatican
four years ago and you ignored it.
- Do you know how many times I investigate tales
and rumors that are designed to discredit the church?
- I thought it was a doing a pretty
good job of that all by itself.
- [John] I'm not going to listen to this.
- Yes you are.
For this all to make sense,
the werewolf has to be in Pioneer town.
Now you said before that a werewolf
can take over another person's identity
and that's what I believe it's done.
My bet is that one of the townspeople is the werewolf.
The body being discovered was a mistake,
but the werewolf turned it to his advantage.
All it had to do is play the ace's up its sleeve.
Ted was the first ace, he was allowed to escape from
the castle, not knowing the fate of the others.
Marie Adams was a second ace.
She was under the werewolf's mind control.
And when he was finished with her, he killed her.
- Inspector.
- Hear me out.
The last ace was you John, a priest with a guilty soul.
I'll bet he had fun when he got inside of your head.
- That sir, is a gross insult.
- Truth hurts.
Ted was brought into Pioneer town
under the premise of digging up dirt.
That's why he was paid the 20,000 dollars.
The Catherine Little, who Ted never met
but talked to was Marie Adams.
Ted never had a chance.
He sold himself with the expose money.
And then when he wanted out, there was no way.
(dramatic music)
With Ted now in place, the werewolf used Marie Adams
to convince you of something
you desperately wanted to believe.
That the woman we were after was the wrong person.
The werewolf was subtle John.
It sicked you after Ted and you didn't disappoint it.
Marie's story was like a manna from heaven to you
because it lets you off the hook.
- And what about you inspector?
How do you fit into the plot?
- Oh, I wasn't an ace, John, just a face card.
An over the hill cop, just hanging out for retirement.
- You have presumed much inspector,
but there are gaps that need to be filled.
For instance, Jaro.
- I believe escape was the only way Ted thought
he could prove that he wasn't the werewolf.
- But you stopped him.
Obviously you were convinced.
- No, at the time, John, I probably wanted
him to be the werewolf as much as you did.
- [John] Then how do you explain Jaro's death?
- [Kester] After Ted left the room,
the werewolf came in and killed Jaro.
- For what reason?
- To make it personal.
Human nature is a funny thing, John.
- Listen, someone in this town killed Jaro.
It wasn't me.
- None of the other victims were directly
involved in the town, the beast couldn't
take a chance that the town might get cold feet.
It had to rile them up.
- You know you're just wasting time, just shoot him.
- So inspector, how do you expect me
to respond to these allegations?
And may I say, your character assassination?
- [Kester] By helping me find the real werewolf.
- You know, I would, if I agreed with your conclusions.
(dramatic music)
- [Ted] Anyone out there?
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music)
- I have something to tell you.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling)
- He jumped me, then he ran away.
(door clicks)
(wood creaking) (dramatic music)
You stay here, I'll warn the town.
- Ted, it's okay, you can come down now.
There's no one here except me.
(dramatic music)
(engine rumbling)
Darn my key, I must have dropped it.
- Well what about the front door?
- Its locked.
Just break in the window.
(log thuds) (glass clatters)
Shut the drapes, we don't want anyone to see you.
Sit down Ted.
- How'd you know it wasn't me?
You're taking a hell of a risk.
- No I didn't.
- Well, no one else was convinced.
- That's the way I planned it.
- [Ted] What do you mean?
- You were perfect Ted.
I couldn't have made a better choice.
- You're the werewolf?
- Don't you recognize my voice?
You've heard it before, in Budapest.
- Mary Lou Sommers.
- Right, good guess.
- You set this up?
- Everything.
Brett Davis, Alpha Productions, Draco.
I'll take all the credit.
- You were Catherine Little.
- No, that was Marie Adams.
She was very convincing.
She had that priest wrapped around a little finger.
She could have told him anything
and he would have believed her.
- Why didn't you kill me in the room?
- No, Ted, it was much more convincing.
if you turned into the werewolf.
You broke into my house and then you attacked me.
- What happened to the real Cheryl?
- It was a terrible thing.
She died in the hospital and she wasn't very happy about it.
You've got about an hour Ted.
Thought I must say, hiding in the attic was pretty dumb.
You probably would have gotten away with it
if you'd run into the desert.
The priest has the whole town out there looking for you now.
- What's going to happen to the town?
- You really don't need to worry about that.
(suspenseful music)
Times up Ted.
(gun fires)
- Blank, Cheryl.
We set you up.
Just like you did to us.
- We knew Ted had to die before the full moon.
The real werewolf couldn't take a chance.
I thought it was you,
but I couldn't be sure until you rescued Ted.
Anyone else would have yelled for help or shot him.
- Well, aren't we smart?
But do you think you can really kill me
with that little gun inspector?
(suspenseful music)
(gun fires)
- Shit.
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
(audience cheering)
- Oh, we thank you so much for this beautiful benefit.
Thank all of our neighbors and our friends,
and Ted we're sorry.
I was looking at Pappy with that tail on his hat
and I thought about a song that I wrote just for him.
And the cleaning lady.
♪ Roaming the roads and where are you ♪
♪ Already bound for home
♪ Like the dirty dog you are, you aint getting no bone ♪
♪ I'm gonna cut off tail, tear up the mail ♪
♪ Turn off the telephone
♪ No more running the streets
♪ Chasing them cats
♪ When you get back
♪ I gave you and inch but you ran a mile ♪
♪ So I'm pulling in your leash
♪ And now you'll pay for those doggone ways ♪
♪ And what ya done to me
♪ I'm gonna cut off your tail
♪ Tear up the mail
♪ Cut off the telephone
♪ No more running the streets, chasing the cats ♪
♪ When you get back
- Hey Ted, get up here and sing with us.
Let's give it to him.
A nice big hand.
♪ And I was a big bad wolf
♪ Golly, gosh, oh gee
♪ How could you make such a big mistake ♪
♪ With a handsome devil like me ♪
♪ I'm gonna
(upbeat country music)