How to Shake Off a Bride (2016) - full transcript

It wasn’t the alarm, but the calculator!
Damn!

Tobias!

Tobias! Get up!

Yeah!

-Put that tablet down!
-Yeah!

Get a move on!
Take the white shirt.

-It's boiling out there!
-It's grandpa's birthday.

-All right.
-Faster!

-Tobias!
-What? -Watch the crumbs!

I don't want the chocolate.

-Sweet things damage teeth.
-But it's good for the brain.



See you.

-I have a match today.
-I'll be there. -And Dad?

-90 %.
-90 % out of what?

And remind me the maths this evening!

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

Lovely, girls, really lovely.
Thank you.

-Good morning.
-Morning, boss.

-Hi, Eva, got the design?
-Sure, worked on it all night.

-That's super. What a stunner.
-It’s for your ex-father-in-law?

Yes, we'll do our very best.
You do the base, I'll decorate it.

-Couldn't I finish the decoration?
-No. No chance.

Hi, Mum. Don't worry,
you'll catch the plane.

I know I will, but I don't
want any extra stress.

Miluš?



Sorry, I must finish.
I'm on the air. Bye.

We have a dame there.

I welcome you to our programme,
"Be a Bitch" for modern women.

Don't be afraid.

-The tooth will be out in a minute.
-It hurts.

It can't hurt,
I haven't touched you yet.

What's up?

What are you doing?

Don't be mad. It's the fear.

-Let's start again.
-No need.

After the slap the tooth is out.
You can rinse your mouth out.

Thank you, doctor.

Stop using so much sugar or we'll
pull everything out eventually.

Once again, I apologise.
And thank you.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye. What's up?

-We didn't give him an injection?
-We didn't.

We'll take a break.

-Hi, bro! Got a moment?
-What's up?

-Got slapped again?
-Third time this week.

It's Monday, right? Mum asks
if there is a cake for Dad.

Yes, Eva said it’d be ready,
you can rest easy.

-Where are you going?
-To school.

-His son is ravaging our daughter again.
-Tobias harmed Natalie?

Your Tobias is turning
into a terrorist.

-Don't exaggerate.
-Listen, if you're not concerned

that his son is constantly
liquidating our offspring, I am.

Make sure
you don't drop it again, Petr!

Vobořilová speaking.

Yes.

No, I understand.
I'm on my way then.

Jesus Christ!

Hi.
Natalie, what happened?

-Tobias shot me.
-Are you insane?

What is it? Oh God!

Wipe that stupid smile off!
Give me that gun. Come on.

Good morning.

-Hi, Annie.
-Good morning, Mrs. Vobořilová.

-Good morning. -Do sit down.
-Okay, thank you.

-Mrs. Vobořilová, your son...
-I know, I'll tell him off.

Please sit down.

-Are you in a hurry?
-I must take my Mum to the airport.

You should start taking this seriously.
Your son's behaviour...

Tobias is having a tough time.
His parents got divorced.

-It is affecting him badly.
-I see.

Don't make a drama out of it.
Shooting paint at his cousin

doesn't mean he is not
coping with the divorce.

And she keeps
provoking him all the time!

Natalie? She would never
provoke anybody.

-Provokes him non-stop!
-Ladies, calm down.

-Mrs. Vobořilová, please sit down.
-I’m sorry.

-We wish to help you.
-Thank you. But I can manage it.

With my lady colleague here
we have agreed

that Tobias should see
a child psychologist.

-Because of one paintball shot?
-He doesn't concentrate.

-Keeps escaping into his own world.
-He didn't have such problems last year.

He had another teacher,
Mrs. Hájková, and everything was fine.

-Are you saying it's my fault?
-You are no doubt capable,

but Headmaster, please put Tobias
back in Mrs. Hájková's class.

Please sit down.

-That is not possible.
-Why not?

-Mrs. Hájková is...
-Being treated for alcoholism.

Super!
Is that all then?

-What about the child psychologist?
-Do you know what? We'll sort it easily.

Come here.

-Stand over there. Go on.
-Madam, what are you going to do?

I think the problem is solved now.
Thank you all. Goodbye.

You get lost. And next time
shoot her without leaving stains.

You see?

Where have you been? I should be there
at least an hour before take-off!

I won't manage
to buy any duty-free.

Mum, you'll make it all right.

You must organise
your things better.

-Obey Grandma, she's older.
-You're a fine sight.

Mum shot me.

-You shouldn't have got divorced.
-Mum, not now.

Keep quiet, Grandma, Mum is a little
nervous and she might crash.

-See you.
-Bye.

-So have a good time in India.
-Thanks. Bye.

Say hello to Honza
and think about what I told you.

Mum, we're in a hurry,
his match starts in ten minutes.

-Go, go.
-Vobořil, Lipský, where have you been?

Ten squats for arriving late,
but at the double!

-Sorry, my fault.
-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon.
-Squats all the way up!

Come on now...

Enough!

And jog onto the pitch, jog.

Filip? Come here.

Next time give him a lolly.

Boys, let's get on with it.
Concentrate.

Goal!

What's that? My grannie
could have kicked that better!

Come on, let’s play!

Jesus, what a moron. He must
smell like a turd even in photos.

Honza is here.

-Hi. He looks better all the time.
-Really?

-What if I went out with him?
-What? If you want...

I'm just joking.
You'll get back together anyway.

Good afternoon. Hi.
How are they doing?

-What's the score?
-We’re losing 3-0.

-But it's just the first period.
-It's called a half, missy.

-I keep telling her that.
-Do excuse me.

-And the cake? They can't wait.
-Oh God, the cake!

-Will you take Tobias to the bash?
-Sure. Where are you off to?

For the cake. I hope he'll
brag about what he did at school.

Tobias, I must go to work,
Dad will take you.

Stuff the jersey into your shorts.

-Well, how are you?
-Not bad.

-Still doing everything together?
-Nearly.

Christmas, birthdays, holidays...

-We're on good terms, so why not.
-I know, you're on excellent terms.

-Better than most marriages.
-Is that something bad or what?

No, quite to the contrary.
Why don't you remarry?

That's more complicated than that.
Come on!

Pity.

Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,

happy birthday, dear Grandpa,
happy birthday to you.

All the best!

-That's a beautiful cake.
-As always from Eva.

She had better
concentrate on Tobias.

Not today, it's Dad's birthday.

Eva, where is Miluška?

-In Punjab. -Where is that?
-Oh Mum, that's in India.

-What is she going to do there?
-There is a certain guru Asaram.

-She must have a few words with him.
-Why?

He claims that a woman
is responsible for being raped.

So, she went to explain it to him.

Poor guru. As soon as my mother-in-law
tackles a guy, he's a goner.

-Ex-mother-in-law.
-Thank you.

-Ready for the family regatta?
-Sure, we'll win.

I'm all curious. You haven’t won
once since you got divorced.

-Thanks for that.
-Don't mention it.

Oh, our birthday boy! Sorry, Richard,
I forgot all about you.

-Well? Cheers.
-Cheers.

-Dad, to you!
-Cheers!

He's asleep.

Can I be the helmsman this year?

We'll see. Sleep.

Yeah.

Will you take him?

During a match your morale
and discipline don't exist

and I'm sick and tired of it.

I'd really love
to have him at home.

You don't even think about our
match this weekend. Slackers.

-Shall we say something to him?
-You're doing things for school.

You play computer games on the bench,
instead of watching the match!

You're out of it. What's up?

Say something.

-I don't know, but something happened.
-Hang on, at the celebration?

-You got in bed with Honza, right?
-Christ, no!

What's on your neck to stop it
raining in? Turnips. Hollow ones.

-Well...
-Not that but...

-Something went on, right?
-When we tried to make Tobias sleep.

You look vacant. Before a match,
after exercises and during a match.

I keep telling you that the two
of you should be together. Really.

And what about the excuses
to get off training? No way.

A death certificate or a terminal
disease are the only excuses.

What am I supposed to do? Should I
ask him for a hand in marriage?

I don't know. You're not the
first or last couple in the world

who’d split up
and got together again.

Get up, boys.
A slalom with a shot at goal.

Let's go!

And he ran to his wife
who already knew the outcome.

And they lived happily ever after.

-Mum?
-What?

I'll never leave you.

-I won't leave you either.
-And I'll never leave Dad.

When you die, I'll put your ashes into
the same preserve jar. And keep you.

That'll be great, being
in a preserve jar with Dad.

And when we add caramelised
pecan nuts to the chocolate...

Petr, in my pocket if you would...

Switch it on.

Thank you.
Hello.

Hi, Honza.

Time? Yes, I've got time today.

There? Fine, we haven't
been there for ages.

What time?

OK, I'll be there.
See you.

-What is it?
-Nothing.

-What's up, Eva? A date?
-What date? Honza called me.

Call Johana for me.

-Raise your head, just a bit.
-One moment...

Eva, I'm listening to you.

Yes.

Hang on,
where did he invite you to?

You're kidding! Then it's clear!

Come over. Right away,
no time to spare. Bye.

Stop! Stop!

Sorry.
Sasha, Míla? Code 1.

-What's Code 1?
-Code 1, love,

is helping a girlfriend in need,
not your strong point. Have a coffee.

-Hi. -Let's see you, bridal babe!
-What a sight.

Those two can raise
one's self-esteem, huh?

-No worries, it'll be colossal.
-Come on, a normal kind of dinner.

-But say where.
-La Terrassa.

Let's go for it. Sit down.

Just take a seat, in a second

your hair will be cut by a mile.

Hide graft wrinkles that beckoned,

and show your sweetest smile.

You got what
artificial beauties lack,

you've got real class,

and even when awake
you may fly -one big take.

God, you are beautiful.

Perhaps you'll stay faithful.

God you are beautiful.

Perhaps you'll stay faithful.

Hands in your lap and chest out,

look aside at the right mo.

You like yourself so be there about

and you'll make me glow.

You got what
artificial beauties lack

you've got real class.

And even when awake,
everything you want, just take,

you've got real class.

How to get rid
of a bride is at stake.

How to get rid
of a bride is at stake...

Remember the ring tends to be
in the dessert. Don't swallow it!

-What if I can't help crying?
-Fine, make-up is water-resistant.

-OK, thanks.
-You're sexy!

...Show your sweetest smile.

God, you are beautiful.

BE A BITCH

Perhaps you'll stay faithful.

God, you are beautiful.

Perhaps you'll stay faithful...

-Good evening. We have a reservation.
-Eva! -Oh, here he is.

Hi. Wow, you look great!

Really? Don't even know what
I’m wearing, I was in such a rush.

Come on then.

I knew it.
Opposite the door, of course.

As always. Thank you.

-Madam, your wine. May I?
-You may.

-You know what I just thought of?
-Let me guess.

-That's easy.
-Our first holiday in Spain.

-When we were in the mountains.
-Toby couldn't stand hairpin bends.

-And he threw up.
-Poor lad puked up in his gazpacho.

When everyone was sick.

I cleaned it up with the owner.
We spring-cleaned the entire pub.

Well, cheers!

Cheers.

-Do you remember our wedding?
-Yeah.

Do you take the here present...
And Tobias interrupted with:

-"No, no, no."
-Then again: "No, no, no."

-And finger-scraped that picture.
-That awful landscape.

What is it, it doesn't taste good?

Oh, it does.

-You can bake it better.
-I just expected a bit more from it.

-Three nuts would do.
-But it's quite good.

Right, to good health and love.
Let we may come across it again.

The way your instincts work
is just incredible.

Because I know you the best of all.

You're the most amazing
woman I've ever met.

You bet.

Some divorcees do things to spite
each other, but you're at ease.

That's why you should be
the first to know.

I've thought about getting
married again.

I'm head over heels in love and
I feel that it's the real thing.

Yesterday I proposed to her.
And she agreed.

-Really?
-Yes.

-Linda was a little unsure...
-Linda?

Her name is Linda. She had doubts
you'd be over the moon,

but I said to her: "Eva
wishes only the best for me.

And she's bound to make the most
beautiful wedding cake for us."

Am I right?

Thanks.

Pick it up.

-Do you need a taxi?
-No thanks, I’ve got someone coming.

-Wait! I'll go with you after all.
-I’m all yours.

Eva?

Eva?

Oh God, what a mess, as if
I've gone back to Punjab.

Hi!

What a sight!

-Do you know you forgot about me?
-Yeah, right.

And you're not answering
the mobile phone.

I didn’t hear it I guess.

How long have you been
in this state?

I don't know.

How many times did I tell you that

if you stick your head in the sand
your bum will always stick out.

You're a divorced woman,
you have no time to be depressed.

What's up then?

What is it?

-Honza is getting married...
-What? I don't understand.

Honza is getting married
and wants a wedding cake from me.

Oh, my poor girl!

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Hi, boys.
-Hi, Dad.

-Hello.
-Hi.

-I need to talk to you.
-What about?

-Right now? -Yes, right now.
-Could you give us a moment?

We misbehaved and can't
watch the TV for a month?

I wanted to tell you at
the birthday party. I'm retiring.

-That's rubbish.
-Immediately?

-Yes, I feel tired.
-Good morning, sir.

Nonsense.
You're coping with everything.

-Me and your Mum want to travel a bit.
-Where do you want to go?

Not sure. See a bit of the world,
enjoy things as long as we can.

-What about the clinic?
-We must talk about it.

I've mulled things over.
And I've decided

that it wouldn't be good
if both of you ran the clinic.

There can only be one boss.
Like a captain on a boat.

-Who did you choose?
-Well, that's the problem.

By and large, I don't mind
who manages the place.

What's the solution?
Are we to draw lots?

What about boats, boys?

So who wins our family regatta
to Orlík and back

-becomes the director of the clinic?
-I suppose so.

That's what I call a transparent
selection procedure.

What, you think you'll win this year?

Let the better man win.
And I am better.

If you say so.

-Well? What's going on?
-Our regatta takes on a new dimension.

Prepare yourself,
tough training ahead.

-Doctor, you have a visitor.
-Hi.

-Hello. -When did you come back?
-This morning.

I learnt the amazing news
right away.

-What news?
-That you're getting married.

-Do you have to?
-What do you mean?

-Is your fiancée pregnant?
-Do me a favour...

-You don't look so happy.
-Dad is retiring

and he'll hand the clinic over
to the winner of the regatta.

So you need a well-coordinated crew.

-I hope Eva will take part.
-I don't think so. -Why not?

-Eva is seriously depressed.
-Why?

Honza, depression is a thing
during which you don't know the cause.

-Eva must take part.
-What if you took her out?

-For a glass of wine or to a concert.
-Well, I've got two tickets to a concert.

Really? That's great!
She might get over her depression.

-You see!
-You're a smart guy.

-Good evening. The tickets.
-Thank you.

-Your Mum said you were out of sorts.
-Really? No.

-What's going on? Tobias?
-No, nothing at all. Where are we?

-Here. Good evening.
-Good evening.

...and they lived
happily ever after.

-When is Mum coming home?
-Late, you'll be asleep already.

Grandma? When Dad gets married
will I still be his son?

Of course you will. And I wouldn't
be too sure about that marriage yet.

Good night.
Bye.

Sleep tight.

-She’s good, isn't she?
-What?

Just saying she's good.

Sure. Talented, I suppose.

-It's her.
-Who?

Linda, of course, my fiancée.

-Hi, Honza!
-Hi!

-Sorry, this is...
-You all know each other here.

That's Tereza, Linda's sister.
This is Eva.

I'm Tereza. You're the marvellous
ex, right? What will you have?

-Bottle of red and three glasses.
-I'll bring it.

-So you know the whole family?
-Tereza is the whole family.

-How come?
-Their parents died in a car crash.

And Linda took care of her sister.

So she’s beautiful, young,
talented and with a good heart.

-Exactly.
-Couldn't have made a better choice.

-Hi!
-Honza!

You must be Eva! Hi!

How was the date?

Don't say anything!

The state he's got you in.

Well?

What happened?

Honza introduced me to his fiancée.

What an idiot!

He took you to see her
after the concert?

No. She was right there.

-She played the...
-Drums?

No, the piano.

I thought that if she's so beautiful,
she'll be dumb at least.

And she isn't?

She's clever, beautiful,
talented, she’s an angel, basically.

A bitch then.

And to cap it all he wants
to bring her to our family regatta.

Hang on... Instead of you?

No! All of us together.

Us two as best friends.

Eva, you must get yourself up for it.

What? I'm not going.
No, I’m not going anywhere.

You will go! You can't
let her fool him forever.

I'm not going. No way.

-Good morning.
-Hi.

-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, you beast.

Will you put it in the boot?

May I sit in the front?
I get sick in the back.

-Sure.
-Thanks.

-Fasten your seat belt.
-You're Tobias, right?

Aboard we go, far yonder calls.

A favourable wind is blowing.

Mysterious tales await our scrawls,

your ocean is a home that's going.

Yard's sails the wind swells,

propelling the boat onwards...

Linda, piano virtuoso.

I'll play you a symphony
you won't forget.

You have a sis called Tereza?

VIRTUOSO TAKES CARE
OF HER SISTER

-AFTER THEIR PARENTS' ACCIDENT
-What shall we do with her?

Martin, a sexy smile.

What?

Miluška? I hope you're not
doing anything illegal.

I've no idea.

Well, perhaps...

Michal Šťastný, 30 years old.

Right. So we'll send
a request for friendship.

-A snack and pee break.
-I'm not hungry.

-You take a tablet to the loo?
-I get bored when I poop.

Oh, it's here. And in such a hurry.

No such thing as enough friends.

You got drunk last night, that's
why you don't fancy going to work.

And where do you work?

The Van Club.

-Hi, Toby.
-Hi, Gran.

-Nobody listening?
-No, I'm in the toilet.

You're a swell guy.
Any news from the front?

We've stopped to eat.

-Where is our foe sitting?
-In the car next to me.

-You'll take the side roads, huh?
-Probably.

-And you always puke up there, right?
-Only when I've eaten.

I think, Toby, you should
have a good square meal.

You're a tough dame, gran.

You bet I'm a tough dame.
Bye.

You said you weren't hungry.
And then you stuff yourself.

It somehow came upon me.
I must be growing.

-Won't he feel sick?
-We can always stop.

Off we go!
And we're not stopping again.

Tobias? Don't you feel sick?

-Tobias!
-What happened?

Please stop for a while.
Tobias has thrown up all over me.

Come here.

Here, rinse your mouth out.

I don't believe this, the smell!
Did you have to gorge yourself?

You know you shouldn’t eat
before the hairpin bends.

-You knew that too.
-Tobias!

Are you alright?

The car is quite clean. You just
threw up over her, didn't you?

-Just go on, will you?
-OK.

-My T-shirt.
-Oh, sorry.

-All right?
-Yeah. Sit down.

-Tobias, apologise.
-Sorry. -No problem.

-Good afternoon.
-Good afternoon.

What will it be?

I need something
quite strong, absinth perhaps.

-Absinth?
-Yes.

-A bad day?
-My sister’s been taken to hospital.

-Is it serious?
-No news yet.

But I'm awfully worried about her.
When our parents died

she took care of me,
in fact she brought me up.

Really? You're pulling my leg!
It's exactly like me and my sister.

When our parents had a car crash,
Linda, my sister, looked after me too.

-No kidding?
-No kidding.

-Will you join me for one?
-Absinth?

-On me.
-All right.

-Cheers then. My name is Jarka.
-Tereza.

Cheers.

-What does your sister Livia do?
-Linda. -Oh, sorry.

She is a concert pianist
and she's getting married.

Really? That's great.
Who is she marrying?

A dentist. A nice bloke.
Quite funny, huh? A dentist...

-Have they been dating long?
-A few months, I don't really know.

You know what they say?

Woman who hasn't been seeing anyone
for ages wants to get wed really fast.

Well, it’s not Linda’s case.
She had a real nutter before.

Nutter?

Yeah. An opera singer.
He loved grand gestures.

Even sang for sis under her window.
I was glad when they split up.

-Poor wretch. How is he coping?
-Badly.

He was head over heels in love.
But it probably wasn't love.

More like a dependency. I think
he's still hopelessly smitten.

-And where does he sing?
-At the National Theatre.

At the National? Then he must
be famous. What's his name?

Vlastimil. And the surname...
Oh yeah, Vlastimil Horský.

Vlastimil Horský.

-Hi.
-Hi. Where have you been?

I thought you wouldn't get here
at all.

-This is Linda.
-Hi.

-Tomáš, hi.
-Linda.

-Anna.
-Linda.

I'm pleased to meet you.

-What do you say?
-Lovely.

-That's our beauty.
-Really? -Let’s have a look.

See? The blue small yacht
over there is ours.

-Toby, you’ll sleep on "Evička".
-Eva and Toby won't sleep with you?

-Sorry, not enough space.
-Hi, a surprise, huh?

Hi, mum, dad...
What are you doing here?

I can't miss a race which
decides the future of our clinic.

We'll provide the fan base.
You are Honza's fiancée, right?

-Yes, Linda.
-I am Richard. -I'm Marie.

Wait, how can you do a family regatta
when you're no longer a family?

-A nice contribution, thanks.
-Mum, could you...

-Hi, kid.
-Hi. -Hi, Toby.

-We'll be sleeping together or what?
-We'll fit in, won't we?

-All four of us?
-Come on.

-Eva, hi.
-Hi, Eva. -Hi.

-A bit strange, isn't it?
-What is?

Honza and that girlie
just don't go together.

-I don’t really see that.
-You never see anything.

-She's at least 15 years younger.
-He seems happy.

-You'd also fancy someone younger?
-Me? Should I?

-Come on. I see it in your face.
-You can't see anything. -I can.

-What can you see?
-Those desires of yours.

My lewd desires.

-Having a younger guy is modern.
-You read that in a magazine?

If we don't win tomorrow and
you won't become the clinic's boss

-I'll divorce you.
-If you want, get a divorce.

You'd love a divorce
because of your desires.

But I won't give you that pleasure.
I'm not like Honza and Eva.

-Honza is happy, so let him be.
-And you're not? -I am!

But you're not. And do you
think I am happy?

I'm not. But us two
have a functional family.

And that's more than some
stupid happiness of yours.

I am happy.

-Isn't it awkward that I am here?
-Awkward?

I'm glad.

-I know. But what about your family?
-In a few weeks you'll be part of it.

I think Tobias
sees me as a problem.

-Because of puking up over you?
-You think he did it on purpose?

Definitely. But I love you
even with puke all over.

-Why did you and Eva divorce?
-We were friends.

Then we got married.
Then Tobias was born

but there was no real passion.

And do you think I can sleep
with you at night?

Certainly.

-But wait until everyone falls asleep.
-How romantic!

Darling?

-Hi, where is Linda?
-We ate her and buried the rest.

-I'm cleaning my teeth after it.
-What?

-Well, she's doing yoga somewhere.
-OK, thanks.

See, Natalie?
Your Daddy is keeping watch.

-Come on!
-Good morning.

Hi. I stumbled.

I came to tell you breakfast
was ready, and now I've lost my mobile.

-Mobile?
-Yeah.

Oh, I’ve got it! In my pocket.
Fine. Come back soon.

Can I pour you a cup?

Right...

-Good morning.
-Hi.

-Hi, darling.
-Hi.

-You smell lovely.
-I'm sweating, I'll take a shower.

-Want some juice?
-Thank you. -With pleasure.

-What is it?
-What's happened?

-What's going on?
-Kill it!

Christ, it's a frog!
A beautiful green frog.

-Froggie. I’ve got it, OK.
-Hang on, I'll throw it away.

It’s alright.

-What's up?
-Shit!

You know how slippery it is.
Any harm done?

-All right? -Yeah.
-It's gone now.

-Does it hurt? -Yes.
-You must be more careful.

Good morning, maestro.
I am a great fan of yours.

Moreover I am a friend
of your girlfriend Linda.

-Vlastimil Horský.
-My pleasure. Miluška Vodičková.

Where is Linda?

I bet it's broken.

-Well? What's the outcome?
-A bruised wrist.

-You can't join in the regatta.
-With this? Probably not.

But there has to be one.
Everything’s at stake.

So, you're backing out?

No-one's backing out.

-You can do it, right?
-I'm no good at it.

It makes no difference,
we'll win anyway.

-No doubt.
-Daddy's girl.

-What you're gaping at? On board!
-Get ready!

-Start in two minutes.
-Ahoy!

Listen, when we catch the wind,
we must get in front.

Then we must keep
blocking Honza to the end.

And if the wind stalls,
we must fart into the sails.

OK, family!

-The winner! Off we go!
-Let's move.

Natalie, come on. And off.

Now or never!

Untie it.

We'll turn more into the wind,
they won't expect it. Pull!

Jesus, what are you doing?
Look at them!

-We have turn into the wind too!
-That'll slow us down!

Yeah, we've got them.
We'll win today!

Don't rejoice too soon!

Don't get under my feet
at the helm.

-They're ahead of us!
-Are we going to lose?

We won't, Dad will lose.
The whole clinic.

-It’s not a matter of life and death.
-It damn well is!

Linda!

Where is Linda?

Linda!

-Hi, Mum, what brings you here?
-Hi.

How come you're not on board?
What happened?

-Who is that?
-A surprise.

-It's so beautiful here!
-And off you go!

What happened? Linda!

-Honza!
-Hang on, we'll come back for you.

What are you doing, Dad?

-We must go back for her!
-You can't leave me here!

She has a life jacket,
let's sail on. We'll win today!

-I can't just leave her in there.
-And you're done for, bro!

We'll win today. It's a short
distance, you'll swim to the shore.

Honza!

Sorry.

Now or never!

Annie! Help me!

Hi!

Keep swimming!

Linda, I'm coming to help you,
Stay where you are, don't move.

-What is he doing?
-Can’t you see?

What are you doing?

Sometimes it's really worth pulling
skeletons out of the cupboard.

Mum!

I'm here, love.

-Where have you sprung from?
-I saw it all.

They wanted to kill you.
I'll protect you.

This can’t be true!

Done!

Evička’s crossing the finishing line
in 1st place!

-We've won, Dad!
-Congratulations!

-I love you.
-Stop it!

I love you.

-Bravo!
-Brilliant!

Come over here.
You're fantastic!

Cut and dried! Hi.

Congratulations.

Come here.
I’m sorry, but there was no other way.

But you brought us good luck,
we’ve won!

-Can I talk to you?
-Sure thing.

-No, I want to talk to Tobias.
-Alright.

Don't cry, we won't
give them the pleasure.

But she's not crying.

We're happy for Uncle,
aren’t we?

You threw me into
the water on purpose?

I suppose so.

It seems you've got
something against me.

I wanted us to be friends.
But it takes two.

I don't want us to be friends.

If you didn't exist, Mum and Dad
would still be together,

because they still
like each other.

-Come on then.
-Everyone.

-Do I have a short arm or what?
-OK, now. -It's done!

Look out!

-Thanks, Dad.
-Congratulations. -Bro.

Hey, Honza,
your bride is departing.

-To the new boss.
-Wait!

Linda, where are you going?

-I'm going home.
-You can't. What about me?

-I love you.
-But I don't love you.

Sorry. This is no good.

Linda...

Damn, my mobile is all wet.

There was no sense in it.

I want you know that
I am glad you're back.

I forgive you. You may return.

You're an absolute idiot.

-Tobias, get up!
-Yeah.

-Put that tablet down.
-Yeah.

Medication, teeth, breathe.

Get a move on!

-Faster!
-What about breakfast?

Tobias, watch the crumbs.

-See you.
-Bye.

-You’ve got a match in the afternoon.
-I know. Will Dad be there?

I don't know.

Another listener has called in.
What is your name?

-Victoria, good morning.
-Good morning, Victoria.

-What's your problem?
-I like a colleague of mine.

We sit together in an open-space
office, and he's great but married.

And I wanted to ask
whether I should tell him?

Never, Victoria.

I think you should focus
on single men.

-He's married, so you'll be tormented.
-But I don’t mind, I'm also married.

I just fancy a bit on the side.

Do you know what, Victoria? Some
good advice: tell your husband.

And when your bruises are gone
and if you're still keen

on that wonderful colleague
of yours, go for it.

-Thank you very much, I'll try it.
-Don't mention it. Have a nice day.

Miluška? You have a visitor.

I told her that she may come back.
Nothing.

I told her: "I forgive you."
Nothing.

-Did you say something, Vlastimil?
-Linda doesn't want me.

-Vobořil, where have you been?
-Vobořil, where have you been?

-Ten squats for arriving late.
-Ten squats for arriving late.

-Graft away. Step on it.
-Very witty. -Very witty.

-Hi, what happened to you?
-Well...

Is Honza coming? No?

OK, get stuck into the game.
Let's play!

-Have you seen each other since the dam?
-No. It's strange. -What?

Now when his fiancée has
deserted him, you must be firm.

-This is like my mother talking.
-Oh! Do you want him? Yes, you do. So?

In fact, I'm not sure I want him.

But I am sure that
Honza wants Linda.

You're making fun of me!
You ruin his wedding

and you're not absolutely
sure you want him?

Johana, I am fond of him.
But we were always just good friends.

We never sparkled and shone
like Honza with Linda.

When I see them...
I never experienced this with him.

That's only endorphins, chemistry.

Every man loses his sparkle after
three months. With me after a year.

-Goal! Tobias!
-Your genius has just scored an own goal.

So what? They enjoy it, that’s
what matters. Not some goals, dummy!

Maybe I'm strict with them,
but my intentions are good.

One can see that.

You know, the problem is that
I live alone, without a man.

That's how it is. And all Filip's
teachers are women. You get it?

So the only male role model
he meets is you, unfortunately.

So he thinks that all men must
behave like absolute morons.

No wonder you don't have a man.

Either play or buy yourself
a ticket. Come on, boys!

Doctor, do you want
to torture me with that noise?

Sorry.
Which tooth are we drilling?

Better come back tomorrow,
the drill seems to be wonky today.

It doesn't seem to hurt
anymore. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

-The drill isn't wonky.
-I know,

but I can't tell him
it’s the doctor that is wonky.

Madam?

Slower unwrapping of sweets
doesn't mean quieter, just longer.

-Excuse me.
-By all means.

-Hi, Linda.
-Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

-Wait, I need to know why.
-Go and see Eva and Tobias.

So it's about them.
But we are divorced.

But you're also a family,
don't you understand that?

Eva and I are just good friends,
I’ve already told you.

-And what about Tobias?
-Tobias will understand, he’s old enough.

No, he won't. When my parents died
I couldn’t do anything about it.

But he can still do
something about it.

And what about us?

We'll get over it somehow.

Right.

It could start raining now
and everything will be just perfect.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Honza came to see me.

Jesus, what's up?
Why are you crying?

It's nothing.

Come on,
we've seen worse things.

-Sis...
-Shall we open a bottle?

Of course.

...and the princess threw herself at him
and they lived happily ever after.

Tobias, go to bed.

I can't sleep. I'm thinking of Dad.
Do you think he'll come back to us?

I don't know.

I'd want it but then again
I wouldn't.

Why not?

When we used to be all together,
Dad didn't spend any time with me.

But when we're together now,
he spends all his time with me.

-So, in fact, this way is good.
-Yes. It’s just Dad is so sad now.

-He probably is.
-Because of me.

-No, not because of you.
-Because of me and Grandma.

-Grandma and I messed it up a bit.
-What did you and Grandma mess up?

-Like we set up the spewing up.
-You set it up...?

Grandma came up with the frog too?
What else did she come up with?

For you, it'll make no difference.

A Vobořil will still rule over you,
just a slightly younger one.

During my time in charge we have
acquired quite a good reputation

and we have a marvellous clientele.

You can see the evidence
through the window.

Only expensive cars are out there.

So I hope that in a few years
there won’t be any cheap

Chinese wheels standing there.

And I have one more request.

When I come here as a pensioner
for my dental implants,

I hope you won't rip me off.

Honza, can I have a word?

You've come for my promotion?

Yes, it seems so. I had a missed call
from you last night.

-Yeah, I called you.
-Did you want something?

The thing is...
I didn't fancy being alone.

I see. Look, Honza,
I am sorry about Linda.

-I don't want to talk about it.
-Toby should explain a few things to you.

-I'd love to break you in half.
-Sorry, I...

Shut up, don't say a word.
The boss will murder you.

-Who will I murder?
-Me.

-Why?
-We're likely to lose an order.

-What order?
-A big one.

A month ago Hotel Blaník called
and ordered 100 sponge cakes.

The genius here talked to them, wrote
it on the glass and then wiped it off.

-When do they want it?
-That's the problem, today. -What?

-You're such a jerk!
-I know.

-Hang on, Tobias is coming here?
-Yeah.

We'll all get stuck into it
and complete the order.

All right.
No hanging about, step on it.

Bases, custard, cream.
Move it!

Sis, get a move on!
You've got plenty of time,

but us night-workers
need the loo now! Get a move on!

Damn it! I'll pee myself.

What is it? In pyjamas?
Are you ill or something?

No.

What do you intend to do?

Does Honza know?

No. And I won't tell him.

-You will tell him. Get dressed.
-I'm not going anywhere.

-You bet you are!
-You know how complicated it is?

It isn't. Either you want
your child to have a family or not.

Get a move on!
I won't say it again!

Hi! I see you're all in a whirl.

Dad!

Hi, we’re not coping,
this is an express order.

Hi, Toby, we need your help,
come quickly.

-Could you pass me the colour bits?
-On the cake, not in the mouth.

-What's he doing here?
-We will have a chat later.

Are you going to stand and ogle
or will you help me? Honza...

And give your psychological
experiments a miss.

At least with my family.

-Me?
-Yes. We'll clear this up later.

-Mum, apron, wash your hands.
-Petr, apron.

-Could I speak to you afterwards?
-Sure.

-Hi, Linda, Honza isn't here.
-Where is he? -I don't know.

-Left with Eva for the patisserie.
-We'll go there then.

-We're going home.
-Stop it! We're going to see Honza.

-That will be interesting.
-Do you think so?

-Stop gaping and drive.
-Where to?

To the patisserie, of course.
We can't miss out on such fun.

-I'm not going in.
-Why not?

Just look at them.

-I won't break up a family.
-What family?

They're divorced, you're pregnant.
You've a right to break anything up.

-Who is it?
-Who?

-That blonde with glasses.
-Eva's Mum.

-Eva's Mum is called Jarka?
-No, Miluška.

-Miluš... What?
-Wait!

Tereza, it's not what you think.

-You know each other?
-We met by chance.

By chance? She dragged info
out of me about that nutter.

Vlastimil is no nutter. He's splendid.
And a respected opera singer.

You're a nutter.

Stop!

Stop it! Can anyone explain
to me what's going on here?

The point is that Linda and Honza
are expecting a child.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Linda, come here.

Alright, I'll go for it then.

Linda, will you marry me?

Dearest betrothed couple,

-Miluška and Vlastimil.
-Yes.

You are standing here in front
of your nearest and dearest

-so that you may seal...
-Yes. -Don't interrupt him.

...what you've known for ages.

That you belong to each other.

-Your Mum is all aglow.
-She is.

-Eva, I must ask you a favour.
-Well?

-You won't be angry with me?
-No, I won't.

-Are you sure?
-I'm sure.

I'd like you to be my bridesmaid.

Well?

Well, OK. No problem.

-Would you like a cake?
-Definitely. -Alright.

-I wanted you to be my best man, but...
-But I asked first.

Fight over it if you must.

-Thanks.
-Thank you.

And smile. Look at me.

And everyone say: "Cheese."
Thank you.

And again. Smile, please.

Yes, especially the bride.
The groom may smile too.

Fine, well, maybe not.
And everyone...

Yes, here I am.
Come on, the children too.

Cheese. Excellent.

-How can you look so content?
-Why shouldn't I?

When your Dad bossed you around
it wasn't too bad, but your brother...

I promise you’ll be the most important

person both in the family
and the firm, OK?

-I love you.
-I love you too.

Cheese!

-Eva, just don't get drunk.
-Mother.

You'd be in a bad mood
if I got drunk here.

-I hope you will enjoy my wedding.
-But I am enjoying it.

-I love you a lot.
-I love you too.

Cheese!

Do you have to wear
football boots even here?

Football boots? These are indoor shoes,
sweetheart. I'm no bumpkin.

He's gone.

-A lovely view, huh?
-Lovely.