How to Rob the Bank of Italy (1966) - full transcript
Dim-wits Franco and Cicco try to come up with a plan to rob the safes of the Bank of Italy, but with one muddle after another, they find themselves empty-handed after each attempt to do so.
He's gone past.
Go on...
You're twenty seven seconds late.
How We Robbed the Bank of Italy
The alarm has been neutralised.
-Proceed to the safe.
Establish video contact.
-Understood.
One minute, twenty eight seconds
to plant the explosives.
Central calling the ambulance driver.
-I hear you.
Speed, forty kilometres per hour.
-Understood, over.
All the explosives are in place.
-Remove the video link and get ready.
Understood.
Remove the video link.
Everyone out.
The safe is open.
Very good.
Re-establish video contact.
Understood.
Central calling ambulance driver.
-Listening.
Turn off the siren.
-Done.
Drive around for twenty
minutes then return to base.
Understood, over.
What a guy!
-This time he'll get caught.
It was perfect.
-It was too perfect...
Only the master can do a job like
that, it seems to bear his signature.
But the master has an alibi.
-If I was the chief I'd arrest him anyway...
To be frank, he should
be in prison tonight.
Fantastic!
Marvellous!
Remove video contact,
get to your cars in two minutes.
Understood.
Without even waking a bird, there was
a huge jewellery robbery last night.
Fabulous robbery in a large
jewellers in the centre.
Dozens brought in for questioning.
Do you really want to know my opinion?
-That's why I'm here.
I think just like you do...
From what I read in the papers,
it was carried out in my style...
I assure you I'm the only person
in Europe who could've done it.
I agree, but...
-I'm sorry.
I can't arrest you because
you were in prison that night.
But I am the real culprit.
-What?!
I mean to say that the
culprit copied my technique.
Commissioner, once thieves
start stealing from each other...
Goodbye honesty!
Investigation begins in robbery case.
The investigation has
reached a dead-end.
Tell me.
-It's very embarrassing, doctor...
Do you remember when I came in
to press charges against someone?
Someone?
-Count Debellis.
Count? I've already
told you he's no count...
He's a famous thief known in
the underworld as 'The Master'...
I have to say he really is a master;
In short, he's a 'celebrated' thief.
He's not a thief.
-What do you mean?
He didn't steal anything from me.
-Could you explain?
Sure, I came to drop the charges.
-What?!
Yes, I found the jewel that
I thought had been stolen...
Here it is.
It was under a sofa cushion...
...and the cleaner
found it this morning.
'Prison'
Thanks, officer.
-Welcome back, master.
Hello, Mirko.
Have you understood now?
-No!
What I'm trying to tell you
is very simple to grasp...
You lie in the middle of the road
and pretend to be injured...
When a car passes,
what do you do?
I get crushed!
-No, they'll stop...
...and the passengers will get out.
Then, I'll jump out with my gun...
...and shout "Hands up!".
-What if they don't stop?
They have to stop when they
see an injured person...
Don't you realise that robbery is
a precise science, like maths...
What?
Why are you speaking English?
-You forget, I stayed in England for longer...
You were there for two days!
-How long does it take to study the classics?
Do you recognise it? It's Agatha Christie.
-Everyone's heard of Agatha Christie!
What are you saying?
It's 'Agatha Christie'...
This was the inspiration
for this robbery...
'Motorway Robbery'
by Mike Spillane.
You know Italian drivers will
happily run over healthy people...
What'll they do to injured people!?
You little child!
I've already thought about this...
We'll place a triangle
within safe distance.
Triangle or not, I'm not doing it!
I'm no apprentice corpse!
Then we'll switch roles,
I'll play the injured person...
Can I count on you?
-Why? You have doubts?
Many!
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
As soon as they get out I'll jump out...
...and shout "Freeze!".
-Be careful.
Shall I put on some make up?
-Forget it, you already look like a corpse!
Where will we hide?
-Over there.
Come on.
Over there.
Hide!
-I'm going to settle up with Ringo!
One injured, but I
don't get the triangle?
Everybody freeze!
Your bags or your life!
How many times do we have to say it?
-They were messing around.
It was just a joke.
-What robbers would act like that?
The pistol was empty.
-Good thing you forgot to load it!
I didn't forget, they just didn't fit.
Commissioner, we've already
explained, they're quite retarded...
They couldn't even rob a bank!
-Take a good look at them.
Start looking dumb or
you'll blow everything.
What court would convict them?
-They'd be put in an asylum!
Enough! You're driving me mad!
-Then you understand?
I understand, but what I don't
get is why you're working for them?
Gentlemen, you're free...
-Thank you!
But no more jokes! If I see you
again, I won't be so lenient.
Don't worry,
it won't happen again!
Take us home.
Welcome back, gentlemen.
-Thank you.
You have visitors.
-Women!
No, it's your brother.
-Perhaps he wants to congratulate us?
No, I don't think so.
-It's like I say, you'll see...
It was a class act!
-Shut up.
Are you proud of us?
-No, not even a little.
Leave us be for a moment.
Is it necessary for me to remind
you you're not children anymore?
You don't do these things at your age.
-What do you mean? We were serious!
It was him!
He thought of it!
What else do I have to do
to keep you out of trouble?
That's all I ask.
I don't think it's too much.
You're asking us to betray our ideals?
-Ideals?
You forget the oath we
made to dad on his deathbed.
Look, Paolo, our ancestors...
-Stop it, I know the tune.
Yes, but sometimes you forget!
Look...
Uncle Luca, doesn't he look
like me with that moustache?
The inventor of the petrol saw,
used to break into chastity belts...
Uncle Guglielmo, the pickpocket who was
stealing wallets as he was being guillotined.
Grandma Glotilde,
where will we put her?
The founder of the red hand gang.
Father, safecracking champion:
1927, 28, 29 and 30.
And him...
The black sheep of the family.
Enough! Enough with these games.
-Why?
You see, guys...
Listen to me,
robbery just isn't for you...
Every time you try, I have to call the
best lawyers in Rome to get you out...
Leave these things to me, I've got
more experience in this field...
Robbery is a precise science.
-That's what he says!
I've given you this villa,
you've never gone without...
What more do you want?
-We want to earn these luxuries!
As long as I'm alive, you'll
have all the money you need...
This is $20,000. It's your part
from my last robbery...
We can't accept it.
-I accept it!
I said no!
-Who says so?
Our conscience.
-I didn't hear it.
It's like we're stealing it,
I want to earn it dishonestly.
Ciccio, be reasonable! I need
luxury, money and tranquillity!
Sometimes, I think your
brother is the smarter one.
Do you promise to listen to me?
-I promise on all this cash!
I promise I'll try to do my best.
Jeremy, I have to tell
you something.
Goodbye, little brothers.
Don't make me angry!
-Don't worry.
"What a smell of money.
What a smell of money."
Cain!
Abel!
I didn't see the two girls,
Gabriella and Patricia?
They left last month.
-Sorry, I meant Theresa and Luisa.
I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you.
-Have they left as well?
Two days ago.
So, this is why those two...
I should've guessed.
I've got an urgent job for you.
-The usual?
The usual.
Let's go.
I wasn't expecting this from you.
-It was fatal.
Don't you realise?
No, you shouldn't have done it girls.
the master is very upset about it.
You know how much he
hates his brothers.
If he didn't know, he wouldn't
have paid you all that money...
He paid you well!
It's true, but he couldn't pay us
enough to stay with those idiots.
Here he is.
Good evening.
You couldn't persuade them, right?
-Not a chance, they don't want to know.
We'll have to find another two.
-Like it's so easy!
I know about brotherly love, but
it's absurd that you do this for them.
Don't think I enjoy it, the
only way to stop them robbing...
...is to get two women for them.
-We just can't pay them enough...
After fifteen days, they all leave.
-Knowing them two, I can believe it.
What would you like?
-What are you having?
A martini.
-Three dry martinis.
Here... See if I'm lying;
Priscilla and Suzy lasted six days...
Julia and Betty, a little longer, eleven
days. Wanda and Flora, almost five...
Odeppe and Marcella, just three.
-Just three days?
No, three hours.
It's a record.
You tell me what to bash my head
against, I know them well now.
Very beautiful.
That blonde in the green dress?
-Lucia, she's already taken.
And this blonde in white?
-Shelley, she's with Christina.
That woman who's dancing?
-Christina...
...and that's Adelle.
She's the one with the record.
-The three hour record!
I don't see what's so funny,
they're a disgrace to my family.
Listen, Mirko, are they just
pretending to be so stupid?
No, they really are stupid.
They call them the two dummies.
Have you met their agent?
-No, not yet.
I've had an idea, if they're as stupid as
they seem, they might help us for a while.
I think forever.
-Don't exaggerate, my dear...
You don't know Franco and Ciccio!
Everything seems to be
proceeding well, Sir.
What do you think about
those two men?
Exceptional, from an aesthetic point of
view but their intelligence is non-existent.
I'm so tired!
Let's choose a great
film for tonight.
Choose, choose, then I'll
tell you my favourite.
Excuse me.
Ciccio...
Well, what do you think?
-We got lucky.
We're just two sexy men.
-And lucky...
If Theresa and Luisa hadn't got that urgent
telegram, we'd never have met these two!
Right, that's true.
-But this isn't the first time...
Every time two beautiful women fall
in love with us, the ones before leave.
It must be in our blood.
Is that luck?
-It's a disgraceful bit of luck!
Don't worry, master. With two girls
like them they'll never rob again.
Of course...
I'll keep you informed.
Have you decided where to go?
-To the cinema, there's a great film on...
'The Asphalt Jungle'.
-Do you like gangster films?
No, we like gangsters!
They're real men.
Great taste!
Do you like what they do?
Burglary, robbery!
It drives us crazy!
-We always read the crime reports.
Ciccio, they're intellectuals.
-Don't be so enthusiastic.
We're two gangsters.
I thought so!
Excuse me.
These two women are
enamoured with masculine men.
Let's show them penal code!
-We'll make a bad impression...
We're not prepared.
-It's the thought that counts...
Let's let down our guard.
-You mean our masks?
It's the same thing.
Where are we going?
-Do you want to meet two real gangsters?
Yes!
-Come on.
This way, once I turn on the
lights it won't be so dark.
There's no one here?
Where are these delinquents?
-Behind you.
We are the delinquents!
-Oh! You're so funny.
That was such a funny joke!
-Ciccio, they think we're joking.
Don't be deceived by 'My Fair Lady'; robbery
is the most serious thing in the world to us...
Robbery, don't forget,
is at the root of all history...
Adam stole an apple and
humanity began!
My cousin stole $5 from me
and he got a good hiding!
As you can see, this is where we
learn our craft and train.
Just like that! Here are
the tools or our trade...
A gas mask, an old skull, and lots
of books that we've never read.
We've got sodium bicarbonate.
-What's this?
It's a photo of Ciccio
when he was a boy.
He's so cute.
You may not believe this, but you're
the first women to enter in here.
The first?
-Yes.
I hope we understand each other.
Can we come with you on a robbery?
-Yes, yes...
Wait! No serious robber brings
his woman along on a job.
But I'm not a professional
and I'm not even that serious!
We could take them to the
cinema, or to a nightclub.
If you take us dancing,
you could rob the nightclub!
Do you think we'd be happy
with such small takings?
The manager told me that
he'd taken in over $5000.
We're just in time.
-Are you sure?
Yes, come on.
-I'm coming.
There's no one there,
but I'm getting out of here!
Where are you going?
-I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
-Are you sure it's safe?
Get in.
-Wait.
Quiet, imbecile!
Where are you?
Help me!
I can't see.
Help me!
Look at how I'm dressed?
It's like Diabolik, Kriminal, Satanik!
Quiet, fool. I told you we were going
in undercover, like Mickey Spillane.
I can't see anything in this mask.
This Spillane guy got it all wrong!
Where are we going?
We don't have any change.
-Quiet... Of course!
Let me see.
Here, sign it.
-What if I protest?
You knew we were coming.
-How did she know?
How do I know!
Over here.
The safe is in the
first door on the right.
We'll keep lookout.
-I'll be the watchdog!
Anyone in?
-What are you doing? It's a safe.
Soap would be dangerous.
-I won't use it anymore.
I'm talking about explosives.
It would be too loud.
Well?
-We need to locate the barrels...
Insert a small amount
of nitro-glycerine, and blow it.
Proceed.
33.
-33.
33.
-33.
Breathe out.
What the hell are you doing?
-I thought you were diagnosing the safe.
That's what I was doing.
-Cough loudly.
Quiet, I'm looking for weaknesses.
-For the suppositories?
Yes, the nitro-glycerine.
Pass me the 'taccuino' (Notebook)
What are you doing?
-A 'tacchino' (Turkey)
'Taccuino'...'Quino'!
Not 'eccuino' (Equine) The note-pad!
-Ah! The note-pad.
You talk funny.
Metro (Ruler).
I said Metro not 'Mitra' (Machine Gun)
-Don't get upset over an 'E'.
Here!
Height...
-Tell me, my brother.
Height, 1 metre 40".
Width, 88".
Circumference, 54".
Total?
2743.
-I'm happy with that.
Electric drill.
There's one an hour later
but it's more comfortable...
The drill.
What are you doing?
Quick, find a socket (hold)
Let go of me!
An electric socket!
-Ah! Electric...
There's got to be one,
where is it?
Here.
What are you doing?
You can't rehearse
the "Yeah, yeah" here...
This isn't the dressing room.
Your band mates are waiting,
what are you doing here?
You've got to go and work.
What an idiot! I left it open.
Why are you still here?
Get to work.
Great! Did you do it?
-Great? I almost fried myself!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-We must go, we've been spotted.
Come on, they're waiting for you.
What's going on?
Ciccio, I don't know
what's going on here.
The orchestra is dressed the same,
they've mistaken us for the band.
I can't sing or dance.
-The police!
Sing!
-What do I sing?
Just sing!
May I borrow your guitar?
Ladies, please come with us.
The safe is intact, but these
are still safe-cracking tools.
I think we should call the police.
-We're already here!
There's two safe-crackers around,
but don't worry, we've seen them.
Let's go.
Ciccio, I recognise this garage.
-This way, come on.
We only want the best for Franco
and Ciccio because we love them.
Be quiet, fools!
We'll settle this later.
They got you as well.
-Officer, our brother is innocent!
We'll take all responsibility,
if someone could write that down.
Rosalina.
Marillena... (sings)
-Be quiet!
You've confused us Commissioner.
-We don't know our fiances.
Jeremy, do you want to explain to
these two idiots how things are?
Jeremy is here as well.
-He's always mixed up in things.
We don't know him Commissioner.
-Thank your lucky stars he did call...
Otherwise you two would
both be inside by now...
He called me to let me know you were
planning a hit on the Piper club.
Then he's a spy!
-Commissioner, arrest him immediately.
Haven't you got it yet?
He's not a real policeman!
He seemed real. He's the same height.
-And you?
You had me arrested by an
impostor! Such dishonour.
Jeremy...
(Rhyme about sending him away)
Very well.
If the master agrees.
My dear brothers...
If someone here should leave...
Then it's them... One and two.
-No!
No one can send you away.
When I hired you as escorts
for these two children...
I'm an adult now.
-No, you're still a child.
What did I tell you?
But we prefer to play cops and
robbers! Don't we Ciccio?
Yes... Finally, two women
who think like we do.
If they think like you they aren't
good for you. Get rid of them!
No. Never! -Why not?
Because I'm marrying her.
I don't want you to.
-Why not?
Because I don't.
-But it was all his crazy idea!
Get out...
Take them away.
What are you saying?
-Let go of me.
You may leave.
So, who is doing the talking?
-I will.
He will.
-Sit down.
Listen, my dear brothers...
I am speaking from the heart...
I'm going away for a few months.
Who will help you if you get into trouble?
Do you think prison can
scare our father's children?
And our grandfather's nephews!
I have a proposal...
-I accept!
Why don't you plan a
big heist while I'm away...
You come up with a good plan...
-Yes, but you're going away?
Do you think it takes two months?
-It can take two years!
Do you see this dossier...
It contains all the plans
for my next big heist...
It will be the last one.
My swansong...
After this one,
I'm retiring.
Going out with style!
-Sure.
To end an illustrious career like mine,
it has to be something exceptional...
So, I thought about
robbing the Bank of Italy.
My God! Did you hear that,
Franco? The Bank of Italy!
Where they print the nation's money.
-The nation's chocolate?
Cash!
-Ah! Cash.
Thank you, thank you... But I'm not
telling you this to disadvantage myself...
I want you to see how a serious
robbery is carried out...
One based on scientific methods,
that takes many years to prepare...
Years of study, and lots
of money are required.
Here, take a look...
Three years ago there was this
building next to the Bank of Italy...
I bought it for half a million...
...and I had it demolished,
costing me another million...
I spent 200,000 on the new
foundations of this new building...
Do you know why I did all this?
The room next door is the
safe of the Bank of Italy.
The building site will be the base
of operations for this robbery.
From there, my specialists will
follow an underground path...
Emerge inside the bank and carry
out the biggest robbery of all time!
Naturally, you both have your part.
-Sure, what do we do?
Nothing.
-I'm happy with that...
If you start talking business,
I'm off.
Where are you going?
-I'm leaving.
Why do we have to do nothing?
-Because I'm paying you to.
This is different, it's not about
the money, it's about the glory!
What glory?
-Quiet.
Why can't we be with the specialists?
-Because you aren't specialists...
I have to find them in London,
Lisbon, Hamburg and Paris...
I want the best in Europe.
-That's right.
Just one wrong man and
it could all go wrong.
And that's not right.
-What?
Hurry, Paolo, or we'll
miss the flight.
It's 09:30! I'll put
this away and I'm ready.
Hurry up, Paolo.
-Yes? Yes, I'm coming.
Like I said, stay calm and
don't do anything stupid.
You're always with this dog.
Let's go.
Lock the door.
-Why?
I said close it.
Go on.
Hurry up.
I've locked it.
What's this all about?
Our brother has lost his dossier!
-He hasn't lost it, I stole it.
How will he rob the
bank when he returns?
He won't find a penny in
the bank when he returns.
We'll rob the bank ourselves.
-Us? -Yes!
Us?
-Yes.
I'm sorry, but I don't get it.
Don't you see? If we pull
this off we'll be famous...
We'll pass into history like
Al Capone, Grandpa Collegero...
...Uncle Pasquale and our father.
-When will we do it?
Soon!
-Then I'm going to call Merrerina.
Wait.
-What is it?
Call from home, let's get out of here.
-Our home? But Jeremy will spy on us.
You're right, he might tell our brother.
-As soon as I'm home, I'll kick him out.
But he might suspect something,
we must be tactful and diplomatic.
Diplomacy?
Let me take care of it.
There's an important paragraph
that's highlighted in red...
...It's entitled 'Specialists'.
-Our brother went to find them in Europe.
We'll have to find them in
Rome for two reasons...
First, we must do
this before he returns.
Second, because we might
bump into him in Europe.
But it's hard to find
specialists in Rome.
Don't worry, I'll call Romolletto.
-Who is he?
The evil genius!
So, this is the evil genius.
-Let him say something!
Talk.
You're going to need...
An electrician, a plumber,
a miner, a mechanic...
...and a ham sandwich.
What's that for?
-I've got an empty stomach.
A ham sandwich for this starved soul.
-If you happen to have a beer?
Evil genius, eh?
-Romolletto, evil genius.
Continue.
We've got a radio technician.
-Great, who's that?
Me.
-You're a radio technician?
I support Rome, every Sunday
I'm stuck to the radio...
You won't find one like me.
-Evil genius, eh?
Romolletto, evil genius.
-Okay, continue.
You'll also need an electrician.
Who's that?
-Me.
Aren't you the radio technician?
-I can do both and get double.
Romolleto, the evil genius.
Just let him speak!
He can't do two jobs!
Okay, okay.
I've got an electrician.
You've got one?
Who is he?
Marconi.
-Marconi, who?
I think it's Ferdinando.
-I thought he meant Gugliemo.
No, he's not interested.
Can I make a call?
-Go and make a call.
Tell me something,
do you know him?
No.
Do you want Ferdinand
Marconi the electrician?
I'll call him.
Ferdinando, there's a
friend of yours on the phone.
I'll be a few minutes,
ask them to wait.
He's fitting a light bulb.
Can you wait?
You're killing me! Why did I
ask you to change the bulb?!
How do you do it?
I don't know, there must've been
a contact, who did the wiring here?
You did.
Hello?
Who is it?
No, I wasn't talking to you,
it's my little finger.
You got the address?
We'll see you tomorrow morning.
There's one.
-Now, the next one.
The other specialist.
-Who's next?
The plumber.
-What's that?
-I've got one!
Who?
-Philipo.
Pass me the spanner,
I'm finished here.
$20.
-$20 to fix a tap?
Just a tap? I've changed
the pipes and the basin...
I've been here all morning.
-Does it work now?
Does it work?!
Try it.
It's a miracle.
Isn't he big enough?
I didn't mean fat.
But I'm okay with him.
Who's left?
Two sandwiches, some fruit.
-No, I meant the specialists.
We just need a mechanic.
-What about the radio technician?
What for?
-We need someone to dig a hole.
There's Fabio.
-Has he ever worked in a mine?
I don't know, but he creates
holes wherever he goes!
Who? Fabio?
I'll call him.
My foot really hurts.
Mario...
Tell Fabio he's got a call.
-I'll find him for you.
Fabio...
Fabio.
Wait a minute.
There's a call for you.
-Who is it?
If it's my wife,
tell her I'm not here.
That's the sixth time today!
Let's think about Agniello Pasquale.
(Agniello also means 'lamb'.)
No, panettone is better,
it's Christmas after all.
Think about the holidays later.
-No, Angielo Pasquale is the miner...
He's from a family of
famous mechanics from Naples.
He makes explosives.
-Yes, I know him. He's from Naples...
He used to live down there.
-And now?
I don't know, he's moved.
Maybe in that one.
That one?
It was that one.
You're the mechanic.
-Yes, and these are my helpers.
This isn't right, Pasquale Agniello!
-We're here.
I can see that you're here! Don't
be joker! Show me your hands.
Hands clean, fingernails
clean, no corns on your feet...
Your head is so big you look like
Fiumicino airport, seen from above...
You bunch of feminists!
Laurel and Hardy!
What am I going to do with you?
You must blend in perfectly
when you go into work tomorrow.
Right.
It's Sunday tomorrow.
It'll be Monday by the
time you've said it!
Quiet. They won't have their
regular staff on duty tomorrow.
I was saying; there's
a match on tomorrow...
...Rome vs. Naples.
-I can't delay everything for that!
They'll delay the match!
-Listen to it on the radio.
Any objections?
-Yes, me.
Isn't there a guard on duty?
-That's a pertinent question.
Is he there as well?
-Who?
The lieutenant.
-Pertinent!
Quiet!
There is a guard...
-But you won't see him.
He can be seen!
-Right.
Everything has been planned for.
Frank, check the dossier and look up...
Eyes wide open!
-Yeah, like binoculars.
We'll send a telegram to the guard
telling him his mother is very ill.
Poor woman!
It'll be sent from Monte Rotondo at 10:00,
and it will reach its destination by 17:00.
Isn't that right?
Later.
What is it?
-Ciccio...
There's something I don't get...
It says here that the
guard knows everything.
Sure he does.
He's part of Paolo's gang...
According to the plan, the telegram is
his alibi, but we'll use it to get rid of him.
The alibi.
-No, the guard.
And the alibi?
-It remain the same.
With the alibi inside,
what will we do?
Quit with this 'Please'.
Check your watches...
I make it 17:03:26s
I make it 17:10
I make it 16:55
17:00:01s
16:45
16:58
16:25
17:24
Midday exactly.
It's stopped.
Silence.
Call the speaking clock.
It's time to throw away your
old watch and get a new one.
Hey, guys.
There's no one around.
It's Sunday, everyone's
gone to see Rome play Naples.
You're right.
You know, Naples seem cursed.
-250km just to watch them lose.
I hope Saint Gennaro
will protect us.
What can Saint Gennaro do? Even
if he played, he'd need a miracle!
What are you talking about?
I meant the bank robbery...
I couldn't care less
about the game.
Will you be staying long?
-Yes, until tonight.
But you brought all this stuff?
-We change often.
Is there any luggage
for the ladies next door?
None.
-Won't they get changed?
It's their business.
-Go, go...
Go, go, go, go!
Just go.
Why didn't you tell him to go?
-Quick, the suitcases.
With Paolo's radio communication
equipment we can talk to our men...
...where and when we want.
-Incredible.
The radio is the greatest
discovery of mankind.
No, I meant it would be incredible
if we can get it to work!
It's simple,
any idiot can do it.
Let me try.
I can't hear anything.
Remember, the radio has
always been indispensible...
Especially when it's something
important, we're all there listening.
"...all the football, minute by minute.
This program is live from Trieste..."
"Only on 84.4FM.
The station for those that care."
"The big game today is Rome Vs.
Naples at the Olympic stadium."
I'll establish contact.
"This is Nando Martellini..."
-Go on.
"They've come here to
Rome for a big hit..."
We've been found out!
-I told you so.
"80,000 people..."
-It should've been top secret!
"The score at half time is;
Rome 0 - Naples 0"
The... match!
-Yes, the match.
Calling the driver.
Over.
It's the boss.
Driver responding.
Over.
How's it going?
Rome are defending
well against Naples.
I couldn't care less
about the match!
Make sure you're there by five!
-Over.
Damn it!
I've lost contact.
Quick! Guns ready.
-Yes.
Who is it?
-It's us.
Quick, get in.
Who is it?
-Me.
Idiot!
Everything okay, ladies?
Who is it?
-Me!
It's you.
Why are you dressed like that?
-It was Miccione's idea.
Hers?
Mine.
Yours?
-Yes.
This isn't in the dossier.
-I saw it in a film...
It's a personal addition.
-Let's stop wasting time.
He's jealous of my ideas.
We can see everything from here.
I can't see a thing?
This is why it says the
top floor in the dossier.
We shouldn't have taken
the porter's advice.
I didn't listen to him, the rooms
on the top floor were all taken.
Do we have to cancel everything?
-What a shame.
Don't worry, we'll find a way.
Give me a hand.
There, goodbye and good luck.
-Where are you going?
You asked for a hand.
-No, I meant help me...
Get that table.
-It's dinner time!
Here's the table.
Can you tell me what you're up to?
-Sure...
These are the monitors.
Ladies, I'll need your help.
We'd love to help.
-We want to be bandits as well!
As you can see,
this is a video camera...
All you have to do is persuade
the guard to let you in...
Get the camera in position,
and come back here. Got it?
Wouldn't it be better if I went?
-I said, "persuade the guard".
Well?
-Don't you think they're up to it?
Sure they can, but my woman should
only use her powers of persuasion on me!
You're not going!
....You can go.
Put on your fur coats and go.
-Don't worry.
The video camera.
-Don't let them fool you!
This cat is always asleep.
They're crossing the road.
They don't seem very convincing.
-What are you talking about?
He's devouring them with his eyes.
-Leave him be.
What is she doing?
Just look at her!
Now what?
Don't mess around.
-The plan is working.
Working?
I'm going down.
We can see everything from here.
Look at that.
Good, good.
-Satisfied? That dirty slob!
I'll kill him...
I'll tear him to pieces!
I'll break his jaw and come right back.
-Stay still, don't be a fool.
He's kissing her!
-It's just a kiss.
After all, what is a kiss?
It was Cyrano who said that.
What do I care about a Cyrano?
-Cyrano... Cyrano de Bellargine!
We hear you.
This is evil genius calling base.
Over.
What stage are you at?
It's just finished,
it was a draw.
He's not talking about the match.
I'm sorry, boss...
Everything is going well,
we've almost arrived. Over.
Are you sure you wrote it well?
-Of course I did...
"Your mother is slightly indisposed.
The funeral is on monday."
Finally, he's leaving.
Perfect, break open the second.
-What about the first one?
It's 17:07.
The guard's left his post...
...the post leaves its guard.
Our guys should be there
in exactly two minutes.
It's 17:09, they should
be there in ten seconds.
What are you doing?
-I'm looking if they're round the back.
Don't get worked up.
Why don't we change channel?
There they are!
17:39, half an hour late.
Just in time.
It's so exciting.
-Who knows how it will end?
It will end with us in prison.
-Quiet.
We're all in this together.
-I'm saying be quiet...
It will end well,
just like in the dossier.
Begin operation: perforation.
...when I saw the telegram I
thought he'd brought it forward.
Never.
The master isn't even in Italy...
He's in Paris.
-What shall we do?
I don't know, but we must
let him know immediately.
Get me Paris...
Belfort Hotel,
Elysee, 31 27.
Calling base:
The hole is finished...
They're getting the dynamite ready.
You're running late, try to
recoup the lost time. Over.
Okay... Over.
Come on, get up there.
Me?
Me?
Everyone's happy, apart from Philipo
who is having some difficulty.
Put up supporting columns...
As a point of reference,
use the existing supports.
I don't see any supporting columns.
What's going on?
-He's found them.
Columns found, nose hit.
Damn it!
Good, proceed.
-Proceeding.
Proceed to 'gallery S.S'...
(Italian motorway)
...to Montefiascone!
(Italian city)
...to the end of the gallery. Look
for a metal grille leading into a tomb.
Calling base...
We've found the entrance.
-The tomb is full of water...
Prepare for entry;
put on diving gear.
Everyone put on a diving suit.
Where are you going?
It's very deep so there's
no room for error...
Proceed to the dry
room under the safe...
...you will have to place the
explosives on the ceiling.
We're ready.
-Dive in.
Bloody hell!
Don't drink the water,
it's probably infected.
There's no water here,
it's like a desert.
Impossible, the dossier
is quite clear on this.
Maybe it's changed.
There's no doubt about it...
Find the tunnel with water,
then you'll find the safe.
He says we have to find
the tunnel with water.
Stay still.
Evil genius calling base:
It's full of tunnels here.
I repeat, take the tunnel
going towards S.S.S.
We've got to head towards S.S.S.
-What is this S.S.S?
I haven't got a clue, I don't
even know which way is left.
I've got an idea.
-Oh! God!
Lets split up: The first to
find water sends a whistle.
That's a great idea.
You head over there.
You go that way...
You take the large tunnel
and we'll go down this one.
Be careful with the explosives.
I have no idea who sent
the telegram...
Someone must have wanted
him out of the way.
I'm coming back to Rome immediately...
It's 19:30, there's a flight
leaving in an hour...
Come and get me at
Fiumicino airport.
What's going on?
That's what I'd like to know.
Hurry, we must leave immediately.
It's always Pasquale.
-Guys, we're not playing hide and seek.
Did you find anything?
-Just more tunnels.
You two check that one and
we'll do this one. Let's go.
How late are we?
Forward, my brothers!
-How late are we?
Not much... 2 hours, 14
minutes and 76 seconds.
What is it?
-Hello? Hello?
Base calling control:
What the hell is going on!?
This is turning into
operation runaround...
We keep coming back
to the same point...
We'd be great tourist guides
for the caves underneath Rome.
Over.
-Better.
They're lost, what shall we do?
-Isle of Elba!
Why don't you tell them to do
what the little chicken did?
Which chicken? Your friend?
Speak woman!
No, the one in the fairytale...
He dropped breadcrumbs behind
him so he wouldn't get lost.
You're a genius.
Diabolika!
Compared to her, James
Bond is a mere night guard...
You know what?
I'm going down to help them...
...because they haven't got a clue!
-You're not going anywhere.
I'm going!
Base calling evil genius.
-Evil genius is ready for orders.
Behave like the little chicken.
That doesn't sound like
part of the operation.
Little chicken was a
lot smarter than you...
He would drop breadcrumbs
to find the right way.
We haven't got any breadcrumbs?
-Imbeciles! Use something else!
Ready?
-Almost.
There.
Brother Ciccio, I am going
down to help the guys...
From now on, you don't
need to worry. Goodbye.
Where are you?
You make me sick.
Excuse me.
Do you know what we'll
use instead of breadcrumbs?
No?
-Sticks of dynamite...
I brought 100kg.
-I'll help you.
It'll have to be one each, otherwise
we won't have any left for the safe.
Let's get up.
Get a move on.
We'll line them up, so
they'll show us the way.
Be careful with the explosives.
Attention:
This is Santa Barbera...
We'll be ready in 15 minutes.
Lucky you! If we keep going like
this we'll be ready in a century!
I don't understand
why you need fireworks?
It's obvious.
They're to celebrate the robbery.
The fireworks were the
easiest part to prepare...
It's the 8th of December today:
The celebration of the Virgin Mary...
After the procession we'll set off
all the fireworks in the building...
No one will be able to hear our
explosion underneath the safe!
Your brother is so intelligent!
-What am I then? A fool?
We're an evil breed.
-But it isn't the 8th today!
It doesn't matter... We've got more
important things to think about!
What's going on?
Ciccio calling curicolo:
Have you found water?
Excellent!
Finally.
They've done it.
Where are you?
...They've done it!
What have they done?
Franco calling Ciccio...
Hello?
Franco calling Ciccio.
Are you there?
We're underneath the safe...
I've starting drilling.
Wait a second...
What are you doing? Idiot!
Where are you drilling?
The wall.
-No! The ceiling! Tell him where it is.
To your right.
-What? To your right?
Up, up!
-I can't do this for much longer.
What do you mean?
Lift it up.
What are you doing?
Murderer!
Come on guys.
Sounds like it's going well.
You fool! I have to think
of everything round here.
Turn it around.
It's the wrong way up!
Ciccio encouraging Franco.
Ciccio encouraging Franco...
Soon we'll all be jumping for joy.
I repeat: soon we'll be jumping for joy!
Come on Franco, I'm with you.
No one knows how close I am to you...
Victory.
What are you doing here?
Ciccio!
You go home. I'm going to see
what's going on at the bank.
We're late and it's all that fool's fault.
-Franco calling Ciccio...
Ciccio responding to Franco.
What's going on?
We've found the hole. We are
putting the dynamite in place now.
Pasquale Agnielo is at work,
Pasquale Agnielo is at work.
Where are you putting it, fool?
-In the hole.
Yes, but in which hole? Are
you sure you're under the safe?
Of course I am!
What? You don't trust me?
No, and I never have.
But let's proceed anyway...
Back to base?
-No!
The dynamite must explode during the
fireworks. 5 minutes after the first blast.
How can I hear all
the noise down here?
You don't need to hear a thing!
Just listen to me...
When I say "Fire" set it off. Understood?
-Okay, don't worry. Guys, get ready!
Over.
Ciccio calling Marconi, respond.
Please speak clearly.
Marconi responding.
Isolate the electricity
supply to the Bank of Italy.
Understood.
Gloves.
Cutters.
Look, you've just got to cut the supply
to the bank, not the whole building.
Wiseguy.
What's going on?
They've been on strike since Enel
(an electricity supplier) took over.
Accelerate!
Lets not lose any time.
This is all we needed.
Hurry, turn on a light...
Hurry! Get some light in here.
...Some fire.
...I said fire.
-Understood, boss!
Jesus! We let the fireworks
off instead of the dynamite!
This isn't funny... It means
they've got the dynamite up there!
Did you hear the explosion?
-Yeah, but weren't we meant to start?
Whoever starts, starts!
Come on, let's not waste time.
Help!
What's going on?
This is the end of the world!
-The fireworks are coming right at us!
Call the fire brigade.
It burns!
Franco calling Ciccio...
-Ciccio calling Franco...
Can you hear me Ciccio?
-I heard you.
What are you doing here?
This isn't in the dossier.
Quiet! Fool.
Do you know a way out?
A way out of here!
-I came from down there.
What happened?
I don't know, but I do know
fireworks should be banned!
At least it's over.
Calling mission?
-Mission here.
This is mission's
last cry for help!
Quick, get the driver.
Over here.
There's a ladder here,
see where it goes.
Look who it is! The master.
-Good evening, Commissioner...
Don't get any funny ideas. I own this
land and I was just taking a look...
I heard about the explosions.
It's my right to come and see.
Sure, but what if we find a path into
the Bank of Italy within your foundations?
Yes, I've also seen these
things in the cinema...
Thieves with submarines!
-Yes!
Evil genius calling base.
Hey! It wasn't me.
I was just raising my voice...
Handcuffs, please.
The electricity supply is still on.
Thank God we have a back up generator.
Look, there's a hole over there.
-Let's hope it's our hole of salvation.
I'm scared I'll catch a cold in this water.
-Be quiet! We must persevere.
Everything is fine, director.
-Thank god. Let's close up.
Come on Ciccio, you can do it.
We'll be free soon!
Wait.
Let me come down...
You've got to push harder.
Ready? -Ready!
Poor Paolo. His career ended so badly.
-But he left himself open!
He's lucky he's got two brothers like us.
-Don't worry, we'll get him the best lawyer.