How to Be Louise (1990) - full transcript

This is a coming-of-age story about an insecure young woman who has a lousy job, great expectations and a confused idea of what it means to be a woman. She's a Judy Holliday character who seems to have fallen into a Jean-Luc Godard film.

-I see you, mom.

What are you peeking for?


I'm not peeking.

It's the tub.

Now get back into
bed, all right?

Go on.


Could you read the story of the
little girl in the polka

dotted dress?

-No, I can't tonight.

I'm going out singing.

[SINGING] I know where I'll go,
but I know who's gonna--



-[SINGING] I know.

-Lola, I still want
to talk to you.

-Max, calm yourself.


Get back into bed.

-Don't tell me to
calm to myself.

I've had just about
enough of this!

-You are going to give yourselfanother attack.

-Don't tell me what
I'm going to do!


[music playing]


What are you doing?

Lysol is for the bathroom.

Windex is for the window.

I'll be back later.

-OK, Mr. Mendez.

But I asked for lunch
off today.

-That was last Friday.

-No, last Friday I had an
audition, but today my

father's coming.


What time you have
to go today?

-Well, we said 12:15.


I'll be back later.

I have to change.

-One please.

-Two please.

[speaking spanish]

-We'll come back later.

I take your coat?

-May I take your coat?

-I said, let me take
your coat.

-I said let me take your coat.

Mr. Mendez!

I really have to go!


Mr. Mendez!


I'm coming.

[music playing]


-Young lady.

I'd just like to say, mothernature has been more than

generous in showing
her gifts on you.

[music playing]




about my work plans.

MAN [OFFSCREEN]: Do you expectme to take you seriously?

Yes I expect it!

In fact, I demand it.

-Yes I expect it.

In fact, I demand it.

MAN [OFFSCREEN]: Drop dead.

How dare you?

-How dare you?




It's good to see
you too, daddy.

How are you?

My house is up there.

-We're subletting it
from the professor.

-Oh, that's wonderful.

-He's on sabbatical.

-That's great, honey.


-I'll just get a fly swatter.


-Oh, daddy.

Don't get the wrong idea.

That's Nancy's.

And I've been very friendly
with her.

-I see.

-So, um, can I take your coat?



Louise, sweetheart.

You know, my medical insurancedoesn't cover you anymore.

What if, god forbid, you had
to go to the hospital?

-I know, daddy.

-And, you know, your stepmother
feels very strongly

that you should be findingways to support yourself.

-I know.

And I know it doesn't sound like
a lot to you, but I just

came from a big audition
this morning.

-But just last winter you toldme that you wanted to become a


-Yeah, well, that
was last winter.

-Well, maybe things were a loteasier in my day, but I

remember that your mother justwanted to have a small family.

-Yeah, but she sang too.

-Well, there was that
singing, of course.

-I'm sorry, daddy.

-Oh, it's OK.

-Now, look.


I totally agree with Pinky.

I don't think you should
have to support me.


I'm gonna marry a
very rich man.

I mean, I haven't met
him yet, but--

Oh wait.

I'll show you.

It's somewhere here.

Anyway, I have this card.

This picture that's supposedto, like, help me visualize

it, to, like really make
it possible for me.

You know, daddy, there is onething that you could do for me

that would really be helpful.

Oh god.

I'm sorry.

It's just a little burned.

-I love when toast is burnt.

Tell me how I could help you.

-Well, I know that Pinky
thinks that this, like,

getting a husband thing isreally the best route for me.

-Well, she just doesn'tunderstand all these modern

ideas about expressing

-Well, see it's just--

I don't know.

I think I'm having troublebecause I don't really feel

confident as a woman,
you know?

And Gladys told me about thesecorrespondence courses that

are supposed to teach youall that kind of stuff.

The only thing is they'rekind of expensive--

Oh daddy!

Oh, I am so sorry.

-Oh, it's really nothing.


-Oh, here, ouch.

I have something that'll
really help with that.

-Oh, it's--

It's nothing, honey.

It's just a-- a little egg.

Really, don't worry about it.

-Daddy, I'm so sorry
about your tie.

-Don't worry about it, honey.

It's nothing.

-No, I really feel terrible.

-No one's going to see it.

I'm going straight
to the airport.

Wouldn't you like to lookat your presents?

-It's an apron!

-I hope you like it.

It's got the company
logo on it.

-Oh, it's beautiful.

-There's another present in
there from Pinky, too.


"Brides Magazine."

-Well, that Pinky.

She knows what you want
even before you do.

I've gotta get going now.

Give me a big kiss
and a hug, and--

-Oh, daddy.

-I'll see you Christmas
time, OK?




Bye bye Louise.

-Bye daddy.

I love you.

-I love you too, honey.

[music playing]

-Are you all right?

Are you hurt?

-Tell them to go away.

-Yeah, look, could you back
up a little, pal?


Aw, gee, you know,
I'm really sorry.

I didn't even see you.

Um, can I get you
a cup of coffee?

-He almost killed her.

Now he wants to take her out?

-Uh, why don't you let down
and let me handle my own

business, OK?


What do you say?

-I'm all right now, yes.

Yes I would like a
cup of coffee.


I'm just going around
the corner, so, uh--


-Hey Mark, how you doing?

-Good, man, how are you?

-I'm fine.

I'm starving.

-Well, have whatever you want.

-So is this how you
meet people?

-Hey, easy.

You know, I have not had an
accident since, uh, '83.

Do you mind?

-I get paid tomorrow.

-No, look.

Look, this is my treat.

-What is it?

-Oh, it isn't.


She dresses exactly like
my stepmother.

-A stepmother?


Just like in the books.

-So, uh, what?

You moved to New York to
get away from her?

-What a question.

I think you're very forward.

-I beg your pardon.

-Let's change the subject.



-I'd like two tuna saladsandwiches, one on rye, one on

wheat, with lettuce,
and a big glass of

milk, and potato chips.


Uh, she'll have, uh, two tunasalad sandwiches, one on rye,

one on whole wheat,
both with lettuce.

Big glass of milk and
potato chips.

And, uh, well I'll just
have an iced coffee.

Lots of milk.

-Does she want it on toast?

-Oh, excuse me, but generallythe man does the ordering.


Uh, do-- do you want
it on toast?

Uh, no toast today.

[music playing]

-Is everything all right?

-Something the matter?

-No, but you were just
staring off.


I thought maybe you bumped your
head or something when

you fell.


No, I don't think so.

I fell on my knee.

My head wasn't even affected.


What were you staring at?

-Smoking's a really bad habit.

-Oh, what, do I smell
an ex-smoker here?

-It's a filthy habit.

You know, you're ruining yourhealth with those things.



-What is it?

-I was just trying to help.

Are you sure you didn't
bump your head?


-A-are you sure you didn't?



-Gosh, daddy.


I have to go.



I'm terribly sorry.

I totally forgot.

My father's calling me
when he gets home.

-Look, um, could I call
you sometime?

If I'm not being too forward?



Yeah, please call me.

I'd love to see you.

-Beulah Louise Shield?

-Oh, did I write that?


-No, I don't use Beulah.

People just call me Louise.

-Beulah Louise.

-Oh, and, um, here's somethingfor the waiter, because I

don't have any change.



I'll eat it.

-Enjoy then.



Can I have your pen?



[music playing]


Hey, Louise!


-Will you help me with another
Spanish translation?


Oh, would you get me a stamp
from the dresser?


So, did your dad
come for lunch?


He doesn't understand what
I wanna do with my life.

-Well, really, Louise,
who does?


-Oh, I'm not putting you down.

It's just that you want to haveyour cake and eat it too.

-What does that mean?

-Well, seems to me that you'regoing about it the hard way.

-I mean, this acting career.

It seems crazy to me.

-I guess it'd be easier
to just get married.

-Or find something
like teaching.

You see, I can go to workand still have a family.

-Yeah, but teach kids?

-Yeah, I like it.

But anyway.

Would you mind helping me out
with this translation?


-Uh, the-- the professor,
he picked it out for me.

-What is this?

Is this porn?


It's great literature.

It's Ulysses.


Is something the
matter with me?

Sally, I would feel like sucha fool saying these things.

Do you talk to Walter
like this?


Well, where did you
learn this stuff?

Did I miss something

-Oh, I think you're
fine, Louise.

You just haven't met
the right guy yet.


Can you come in here
for a minute?

Between the bread dough and thisjello mould, you used up

two whole shelves.

I have to put the groceries

-OK, OK.

Give me the jello.

It's almost time to de-mold
it, anyway.

You and Mike can have
some if you want.

It's cherry.

-Oh yeah?

Oh, thanks.

What about this bread mould?

How long does it have
to be in here?


-Uh, this bread dough.

-Oh, um, just a second.

This is the big moment.

Oh, I should get a
picture of this.

It's my first jello.

[phone ringing]


Mike, where are you?

Will you just get the beer
and come on over?


-That's no way to talk to you
knight in shining armor.


It's just a suggestion, OK.

I'm going to try to
get [inaudible].


You ready?


-One, two, three.

Oh no.

What a mess.

[phone ringing]



No, I can barely hear you.



-Louise, uh, it's for you.

-Is it a guy?

-I don't know, I can
hardly hear.

-Um, uh--

He-- hello?

Hello, Beulah?

-Who is this?

It's Stanley.

I was driving the, uh,
taxi this afternoon.

-Oh, Stanley.

What a surprise.

I just want to

know how you're feeling.


Are you there?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm here.

I'm just standing right
here in the kitchen.

Well, good.

You know, I found something, Ithink maybe you dropped it.


STANLEY [ON PHONE]: So I thought
I'd bring it over.

-Over here?

if that's all right.


what's your address?


Uh, 172 South 8th Street.

That's where I am.

-172 South 8th Street?

Who-- who do you know
in this building?

STANLEY [ON PHONE]: Well,nobody, really.


I just moved in.

-You live in my building?

sorry, but now it's my

building too.

-And-- and you want
to come over?

I'm already here.

I'll just buzz you.

-OK, bye.


Uh, what apartment?

-Oh, um, I live on
the fourth floor.

OK, I'll be up.


-What was that all about?

-Louise's got a fellow?

[phone ringing]

-He's calling back--

-Oh no.


Hello, Beulah?

-I'm sorry, I can't hear you.



Oh, well certainly, certainly.

One moment please.


-Is it him?

-I don't know.

I can't hear?



darling, it's me.


-What a surprise.



terrible has happened.

Your father's had
another attack.

Come home right away.

There's a train at 8:10.




[music playing]


[music playing]



-Uh, no.



Um, is it a bad time?


-What a surprise.

-Oh, I told you I was coming
on the telephone.

-Oh, here.



How you doing?

Oh yeah, well.

My dad isn't well.

I have to go home.


I'm sorry to hear that.


Do you have to go far?



I'm taking the 8:10 train.

-Well, it looks like you'll
miss that one.


-It's 8:10 already.

No, I could give you a lift
to the train station.


-No really.

It would--




Well, I mean, I don't
wanna hold you up.

I just wanted to give
this back to you.

Is this yours?

-Thank you very much.

-You're welcome.

-I think I really better
get packing.


Uh, you know, why don't youcall me when you get back?



-Oh, wait.

Are you in the phone book?


It's a new listing.


Stanley Fastwalker.


He looked so healthy.

-Well, he was, darling, but now
he's in intensive care.

-When can I see him?

-Oh, in a few little
weeks, honey.

The sooner you get it into yourpretty little head that

the world doesn't always
revolve around you, the

happier you're gonna be.

Oh, I'd only wish you'd
come sooner, OK?

-OK, I get the message.

Oh Pinky, look.

I'm sorry.

I think I really just wanna
be alone right now.

I understand.

But first maybe I better tellyou about the will.

-The will?

PINKY [OFFSCREEN]: Well, things
being as they are.

Um, but you don't have to worryabout a thing, honey.

You are very, very well
provided for.

And in fact, I took it out ofthe safe to have a tiny peek

at it, and it seems that you arethe only one provided for.

And naturally, Barbara andEd and I are a little bit

confused about this.

-Oh, I don't understand.

-Well, now the only way that Ican understand it is that it

seems it was drawn up 24 yearsago just after your mother's,

well, before daddy and
I were married.

Well, so, obviously
there's been no

provision at all for me.

Not, doesn't that seem a little
odd to you, sweetheart?

So, what I'm saying is thatBarbara and Ed and I-- well,

let's see, how can I put this?

Well, we're just gonna lookinto it a little further.

I'm sure you can understandthat.


-Good girl.

Now, I'm gonna leave you to
soak it a nice, hot tub.

-Pinky, what what do
you want me to do?

-Aren't you a dear?

Always thinking of others.

Well, you don't have to do
a thing, sweetheart.

We're talking to someone whoknows about these things.

LOUISE [OFFSCREEN]: What,you mean a lawyer?

-Well, yes, actually,
he is a lawyer.

And we're talking severalofficers of the various banks

where daddy has his accounts.


-Yes, sweetheart?

-Is daddy--

Is he dying?

-Beulah Louise!

Well, of course he isn't--

I love you dearly, honey,
but you are so negative.

It's just that with financialmatters, you can't

procrastinate, honey.

Everybody knows that.

Now, that is enough about
that for tonight.

I put clean towels in theblue bathroom for you.

They're on the sink rack.

Thank you, Pinky.

-That's my girl.

-Am I late?

-Just like your mother.

She loved to make an entrance.

-Oh, not that one, darling.
that's your

uncle Pete's chair.

-Here we go.

-What happened to the
lawn furniture?

-Your stepmother is sellingall the furniture.

-You see, Beulah, darling, why Ineeded you here immediately?

We have to see the lawyertomorrow at 9:00.

-Well, what does daddy
say about all this?

Shouldn't I call him?

-Beulah, take my seat,

Come on.

That's a good girl.

-Now, now.

We'll get this all
squared away.

We'll just have dinner andput it out of our mind.

what exactly happened?

-What do you mean?

daddy had the attack.

-Oh, yes.

Uh, well, honey, it was about7:00 in the evening and daddy

was sitting there at the table,
and I'd just made him a

nice, tall drink.

-Vodka tonic.

huh, with a twist.

And he was telling me about hisday, about visiting you,

in fact, and then all
of a sudden, he just

gagged, like this--


that was that.

Well, that's all there
was to it.

I called the doctor, and hecalled the ambulance, and, um,

your daddy's in the hospital.

-Which hospital?

-Oh now, Beulah Louise, honey,I am not even gonna tell you

that, because you're
just gonna get

yourself all worked up.

And besides, as soon as wefinish this, I want you to do

me a little favor.

Would you mind taking a little
look at the will?


I wanna see daddy.

-Well sweetheart, don't youthink you should have a look

at it before we meet with
a lawyer in the morning?

-Why do I have to
see a lawyer?

What is this about the house?

-Well, now he's just
gonna talk to you

for a couple of minutes.

Now Beulah Louise, I know you're
gonna be a perfect lady

about all of this, aren't you?

-Of course.

I don't want you to have
to sell anymore

furniture or anything.

-Oh, that's my good girl.

Now, Bob, and Pete, and Ed andI are going to have a little

teeny talk in here.

Now, why don't you just take the
paperwork into your room

where you're comfy and you canlook it over there, OK?

-All right.

-And you just remember, youjust trust your Pinky and

everything's going to
turn out just right.

And I promise you, you're gonnabe able to see your

daddy within the next
couple of weeks.

-Couple of weeks?

-It would be one thing if wewere dealing with a mature and

sane person, but this
girl, she's never

been completely normal.

-It's true.

She is a little off.

She'll never tell what
she's gonna do next.

Perhaps she'll decide shedoes want the house.

-No Ed, don't worry.

She told me she'll do whatever
we want her to do.

-I still think we're
rushing it.

I think the whole shebang maycome back and slap us in the


-Look, I can't afford
to have that happen.

She has to promise to
talk to her dad.

-And also that she's withus if he doesn't

change it, am I right?


-Oh, hello Beulah, honey.


I took a look at this--

-Good girl.

-And, uh, I think I better
sleep on it.

So, I'll just say goodnight.


Beulah honey!

Now, let's not get
all excited.





I'm getting out of here.

This place is a nightmare.

I can't even see my dad.

They're having a fight
about the will.


Can you believe it?

But look, Sal, um, could
you, uh call Mendez?

I totally forgot to even
tell him I was coming.

-Mitchell Fink standing inagainst Robert Williams.


How are your boys doing, hm?

Think it's a little loud for
you, don't you, darling?

RADIO: Beautiful weather
for baseball.

-Uh, Max, do you
have a minute?

I'd like to talk about

RADIO: And a foul fly--

-I don't think this excitement
is good for you, honey.

No, Max.

I know this is a little awkward,
but do you think it's

right that I am making mortgagepayments on a home

that isn't even in my name?


Are you listening to me?


Are you listening to me?



Just remember what
the doctor said.

-Oh, yes.

And I remember how he kissed meunder the moorish wall, and

I thought, well was well him asanother, and then I asked

him with my eyes to ask again.



Then I asked him with my
eyes to ask again.

And he asked me would I yes?

Say yes, my mountain flower.

And I remember how he kissed meunder the moorish wall, and

I thought, well was well,him as another.

And then he asked me withmy eyes to ask again.

And he asked me, would I yes?

Say yes, my mountain flower.

Yes, when he asked
me, would I yes?

Say yes, my mountain flower.


-Hey, Louise!

When did you get back?

Is there anything I
can do to help?

-So, when do you need
this translation?

-Oh, don't even worry
about that.

I got some more news
from my column.

Oh, you know, the
gossip section

in the alumni magazine?




-Two kids.

-Yeah, I, I didn't even think
she'd ever get married.



Have you got any black and white
film for your camera?


-I gotta get my life
on the road.


OK, how about a serious one?


OK, now, uh, smiling?


OK, now, uh, shy.


-Hi, it's Louise.

I'm back.



TELEVISION: Surfaces should
not only look

clean, but smell clean.

We try to stress the idea that
even when guests are not

expected, it pays to planintelligently for a meal.

Making plans.

That's the key to it.

Which means preparing all
parts of the meal.

Paying attention to properdeodorization.

Killing germs that
cause odors.

For it's not enough
simply to clean.

[phone ringing]


Hello there.

It's Stanley.

-Oh, Stanley.

You got my message?


How's your dad?

-Oh, he's all right.

Well, I think he's all right.


Oh, good.

Oh, uh, how'd you
like to go out?

Um, you know, for a drive?


I'd like that.

But only if I drive.

-There you go.

-I'm really a very
good driver.

-Uh, you know, I'm
sure you are.

You know, I just have
a little problem,

people driving my cab.

-Well, I'm doing the
best that I can.

-Just a little slower, maybe.

[tires squealing]

-i don't know how the hell I'm
supposed to go up here.



-We're not taking
any passengers.

-So, I'm really glad we
went for a drive.

-Me, too.

We'll have to do it
again some time.

-I'm sorry.

Could you help me with this?

Stupid key.


I, uh, think you just
need some WD-40.

[music playing]

-I really had a lot of fun.

-Me too.

Well, I think I really
better get upstairs.



[music playing]


-Mr. Mendez.

-I'll say.

What happened to you?


-Three cases of beer are gone.

You don't show up for
two weeks, no

phone call, no nothing.

-We-- well, you see, I had--

-I'm taking the beer
out of your

paycheck and you're fired.





PINKY [OFFSCREEN]: Oh, yoo hoo.




Buelah Louise?


Anybody home?


-Oh, hello.

You must be Beulah's roommate.

-I'm one of them.

-Who are you?

-Well, I'm--

I'm family.


-Surprise, honey.

Pinky's here.

-How's daddy?

-Honey, I'm shocked.

This is such a cute
little place.





-You just have to eat
with us, please?




She'll be fine if you're there,
but I just can't be

alone with her, please.



-All right, but you owe me one.



me to get it, girls?




-And who may I say is called?


-Oh, well, I'm Pinky.

Ah shante.

dropping this off.

The mailman couldn't fit
it into the box.

-Good looking, and so
thoughtful too.

My, my.

Thank you.

I gotta go.

-Oh, well, thank
you very much.


-Bye bye.


-Why doesn't someone turn
the heat on in here?

LOUISE [OFFSCREEN]: They said onthe radio it's the coldest

September on record.


And we're having such a glorious
early fall back home.

Oh, ha.

Are you another roommate?

-No, I'm a friend of Nancy.

-And she's just here
all the time.


Did I get you with that?

I am so sorry.

-It's OK.

-Uh, Louise.

While you're up, would
you bring me

some more lemon, please?


How are you gonna drink that?


Well, Beulah's daddy says
it's because I'm just

so naturally sweet.

You know, that's why I worryabout our Beulah so much.

I wanted to be a good influence
on her, but we are

just so different.

Tell me, how do you
two get along?


Oh, my head shots.

-Head shots?


Self absorbed.

Uh, Nancy, your charming beau
Stanley brought that up.

We had a nice little chat.

Why don't you have some
more cookies, girls?

Oh, and I brought some ribboncandy from home.

Queenie always loved that.


-Oh, that's what her daddy
used to call her.

When she was tiny, she didn'twanna wear anything but

dresses, and so he calledher his little Queenie.


-I need a chair.

-Yeah, uh, actually, I have togo teach a low impact class.


-Bye bye.


You know, Pinky, I really have
to do some errands too.

Will you be here when
I get back?

-Oh, don't worry about
me darling.

My schedule is very loose.

-When's your connecting


I'm not connecting.

Aren't you going to
your sister's?

Low self-esteem.

No, darling.

I came here to visit
you, of course.

Now, all I need is a couch.

What is that I see in there?

Oh, pet, I don't mind a couch.

Now, don't be embarrassed.

I see you're upset.

-Pinky, what's going on?

-Well, that trip was
just so exhausting.

Do you mind if I just
wash up and lie

down for a few minutes?

-My room's back there.

I have to get to the
post office.

-It's good to be here.

Living in filth.

It's a good thing I
came when I did.



you turn that water off?

Thank you.

I forgot to ask if you could
answer my phone.

I might get a call.

-Oh, of course I can,

I saw it there in my room.

I'm having such a good time.

I can't wait to see what
color these tiles are.

I'm glad you came back, BeulahLouise, because I wanted to

ask you to think about somethingwhile you're out.

Has it ever occurred to you whata huge responsibility a

whole house is?

Because I--

I see you struggling to keep
this little place clean.


-Well, I don't need an answerright now, honey.


-Well, sweetheart, there'sno need to be hysterical.

I was just making some casual
remarks about hygiene.

Now, why don't you go on outabout your business?

Who knows?

Maybe you'll meet some niceyoung man like Nancy did.

And then you'll move away andyou'll start your own life.

You won't even need your
old daddy and me.

-Pinky, how is daddy?

I call and you never answer.

-There you go again,
Beulah Louise,

focusing on the negative.

-May I please have
a simple answer?

-Well, of course you can.

He's improving.

Every day a little better.



I can't talk, but plan
A is down the drain.

We're gonna have to go
with plan B. Roger.

[music playing]

-Hey, doll.



-How are you?

-I'm an actress.

I'm a good actress, and
I'm gonna be a star.

--be a star.

I'm an actress.

I'm a good actress and
I'm gonna be a star.

I'm a good actress, and
I'm gonna be a star.

[interposing voices]


-Uh, yeah, the thing is that weshould go with a name, but

then we're gonna have to
pay through the teeth.

-I want the right person.

I don't care about a name.



This is an interesting
location, huh?

-Are you OK?

-Try to watch where
you're going.

Are you all right, sir?

Don't take responsibility.

What's the matter?

You must've slipped, honey.


-She's an actress.

-Edmund, come here.

This is Edmund Moriarty.

-He's on TV.

-Look at that chemistry.

-It's fabulous.

It's a go.


A look is one thing,
but can she act?

-Don't be ridiculous.

Marvin can direct anything
that moves.


-And look, she's
got head shots.

You want to be a star,
don't you, honey?

Get the contracts.


Sign the contract.

You don't have to read it.

It's just a standard moviecontract, just like one Edmund

has, right?

-I have the same contract.

-OK, so sign your name here
like you want it on the

Hollywood marquee.

By the way, what is your
name sweetheart?

-Louise Shield.

-And you're gonna need
a whole new look.

You got any money for clothes?

-You got any money for hair?

-That's her.

The one I've been telling
you about.

-I'm sorry.


I think the woman's supposed
to walk on the inside.

-Who's the guy?

-I don't know.

I don't care.

But this proves my
point exactly.

I'm more of a lone wolf.

I mean, I like women, but they
cause a lot of problems.

-So, anyway, my favorite partis at the end when Jill and

Christy are standing there andAlan Bates comes back.

-Do you ever stop talking?

-I know what you mean.

Hot one minute, cold the next.


You wanna get some chicken?

-No, I gotta go.

See you.



-You don't expect me to
carry that, do you?


I mean, you're the--

-Don't take it so seriously.

I mean, relax.

You're so tense.


Well, anyway.

I'm really glad we're doingthis, 'cause in acting school,

they said you're supposed to get
to know the leading man.




-How you doing?

-I'm OK.

You know, you seemed a littlepreoccupied this morning.

-Yeah, well--

-Be careful, please.


What is this?

-It's nothing.

It's just something
I'm working on.

-What's it doing on the floor?

-I don't know.

And what were you doing
on Broadway?


-This morning.

-Is that a question?

-What do you think I am?

You think I'm a jerk
and an idiot?





-Just leave it.

-Did she sign over the house?

-Of course she signed
over the house.

It's done, yeah.

It's done.

-Did you return the coat?

-Yeah, I returned the coat.

-OK, you've earned
your $50 each.

$50 for you, $50 for you,and $50 for you.

-I'll be right back.

-Uh, don't bother!

I get the picture!

A party to celebrate
a movie contract?

-You OK?

What's wrong?

The guy?


-Oh Jesus.

-Some movie, huh?

-What are you gonna do?

-I can't face her.

-You're gonna have
to talk to her.

I mean, that can't hold.

-I can't.

-You're gonna have to.

And thanks for the invitation.

-You're welcome.



-What is it, honey?

-I'm humiliated and angry,
I could strangle you.


-Where's the other
copy of this?

-Oh, now, honey--

-Don't call me honey.

-Well, I can see you're upset.

Now, why don't I--

-You are not going to steal
my inheritance, Pinky.

-Oh, now, Beulah.

-Give m the other contract.


Now Beulah, I admit I may havebeen wrong, and I apologize.

But I would just like the chance
to explain to you--

-I get it.

-Now Beulah, I admit I may have
been wrong, but you see,

with your daddy being ill, andthat antique of a will, well,

I just lost my home.

And there you are.

Young, and pretty,
and ambitious.

And here I am, old and
tired, and worn out.

And I don't know what you couldpossibly want with a big

old wreck of a house in a hicktown in the middle of nowhere.

I mean, the taxes alone
could kill you.

And your father won't evendiscuss it with me, well--


So you don't even take
the trouble to try to

discuss it with me!

Because, you know, I grew upin that house, and the only

memories of my mother are there,
and I don't even have a

life, or anything, exceptin that house.

Pinky, I--


[horn blowing]

-I'm staying here
with you, Dad.

Don't worry.

No, I want to stay.

Well, who's going to
take care of you?

That's ridiculous.


If that's what you want.

No, Dad, I don't need money.



Thank you.

Just get well, will ya?

[NARRATING] Dear Dad, if I'mgoing to be an actress, I must

live in New York.

And I'm going to
be an actress.

Give the house to Pinky.

Love, Louise.

-You sure that thing's,
uh, dead?

-Yes, Stanley.

-You look great.

-You, too.


So, did you talk to
your stepmother?




-They're beautiful.

-Do you want me to put
them in some water?


Could you check in that
cabinet there?


-I'm a little bit behind.

Everybody's gonna be here.


Maybe we oughta throw
that fish in, too?

[loud, whirring noise]

-[SONG PLAYING IN HEAD] I knowwhere I go, and I know who's

going with me.

-You OK?



-Sounds like they're here.

[side conversations]

-Oh, honey.

-Excuse me.

-It's Mike, right?


-Give me a card, I'll
call you Monday.

-Oh, look.

Here's our hostess.

-Oh, Louise, I asked Rita.

I knew you wouldn't mind.

-Hi, Rita.

-I brought Henri.

-Oh, hi, Stanley.


Henri Elk.

-Well, take off your coats.

-Are you kidding?

It's freezing in here,
and there's no heat.


You must be Stanley.


-Henri, Walter.



You gonna dance with me later?

-It is kind of chilly in here.

Excuse me.

-Looking good, Louise.

Looking good.

-So, you're Stanley

-Yeah, that's me.

-That is a funny name.

What did you do, change
it from Hopalong?

-Louise tells me you're
awful feet.


-No, I mean sweet.

-No, I understand.


-Thank you.

-Oh, how about, uh, we all have
something to drink while

we think about that?

-I think you've had enough.

-I can have some more.



Hate you.

-Well, uh, I'll get
some more glasses.


I'm down.

-Come on, let's have a dance.

-No, thank you.

-Come no, let's dance.

-No, thank you.

-OK, you just wanna talk?

-Let's-- sure.

-Excuse me.

So, uh, do you work out?

Um, not really.

-Oh, I bet you do.

I bet you--

Scorpio, right?


Oh, my sign.

Uh, no.


-What kind of movie is it?

-Well, it turned out
to be a hoax.

-Oh, no, I wouldn't say that.

No, it's, uh, it's about
a jerk who, uh, gets it

together, and he succeeds.

Right, Louise?


-So you're the jerk?


No, no.

She is the love interest who
helps the jerk grow up.

-Ah, yes.

That's very interesting.

-Well, actually, it isn't.

-I'm sorry.

-The movie's a joke.

So they set me up.

There is no movie.

Sally, could you, uh, help
me with the dip?


-Excuse us, please.

Excuse me.

-Hey, watch it.



-No, you have to get the full,uh, extension of the, uh,

trilaterals and thebicentennials if you want to--

-I see.



-You're a writer.

-Yeah, I--

-Oh, I love that.

Do you want a drink?

-No thank you.

-No, can I get you a drink?

-No, no, I don't drink.


-Just tell me, am I
being paranoid?

-No, you're not being

-My mother was just like that.

She just did whatever
she wanted.

But I could kill that Nancy.

She's just throwing
herself at him.

-Oh, don't pay any
attention to her.

Now come on, let's go back.



-Wanna play a game?

-All right.

-I call it Molly Bloom.


Are we playing yet?


I'm still preparing.


Oh, yes.

And I remember how he kissedme under the moorish wall.

And I thought, well as
well him as another.

And then I asked him withmy eyes to ask again.


And then he asked me,
would I yes to say

yes, my mountain flower?

-As well him as another?

-Well, that's your cue.

-I get a cue?


Only you don't say anything.

You just have to sort of do itwith your eyes, or your body,

or whatever.

OK, so your cue is yes, andthen you ask me, you know,

mountain flower.

-Got it.


Oh, yes.

And I remember how he kissedme under the moorish wall.

You can't just be leaning there,
looking at me like if

I'm a joke.

-Don't be nervous.

-Oh, yes.

And I remember how he kissedme under the moorish wall.

And then, I asked him with
my eyes to ask again.


And then he asked me, would I?


To say yes.

My mountain flower.

And first, I put my
arms around him.


-I wonder what they're
doing out there?

-Don't worry about it.

-Where was I?


And then he asked me, would I?


To say yes, my mountain

And first I put my
arms around him.




-Are you enjoying this game?

I mean, you don't think I'm
too forward or anything?


We have to finish.

And first, I put my
arms around him.


Then drew him down to me
so he could feel my

breasts, all perfume.


And his heart is beating
like mad.



I said Yes.

I will.


[music playing]