How U Like Me Now (1992) - full transcript

This multi-layered comedy follows a group of young African Americans as they struggle for both financial and sexual fulfillment in early '90s Chicago. At the center are underachiever Thomas and his ambitious yuppie girlfriend Valerie, surrounded by friends and relatives who are full of advice (among other things) on how the couple should deal with their stormy relationship, despite the fact that none of them has a clue.

(loud explosion)

(clock striking)

(smooth jazz music)

- Hey I come here
to work every day

and I see these women
getting ahead of me at work,

every day, I see
them getting the jobs

that I should be
getting, doing the things

that I should be doing.

I see them here at work
trying to be just like men

you know and I don't know
where they're coming from.

Now don't get me wrong I
think a woman should work

just not making more
money then the man,

'cause it causes friction.

- They can give the jobs to
black women, white women,

the Chinese or a damn
chimpanzee for that matter.

You see it's not gonna
affect me in the least.

I'm bringing home in the
neighborhood of $63,000 a year.

Drive this sweet little SX
and in just a matter of days

I will have closed on this
rather nice lakefront home.

So you see I truly do have
the best of both worlds.

I mean I go out with
the cream of the crop

in both black women
and white women.

And when you stop to think
about it, deep down inside,

every man wants to
be just like me.

And could you blame
them, I didn't think so.

(water running)

- You know it aint affected
none 'cause I aint got no job,

I really don't want my
motherfucking job you know.

'Cause that work shit it fowl,

I mean everybody else
getting paid 'cept you,

event the government, and
when you see Uncle Sammy

bust a sweat, you
know what I'm saying.

I figure if I've gotta do
something I drive a cab man

'cause drive motherfuckers
around for money

is easy as shit, till
I hit that old ladies.

I mean there's this old lady
out in the middle of the street

right and I figured
she got Alzheimer's

so I'm a help her remember
where the fuck she at.

Say old bitch get you arse
out the street, right.

She didn't move so I sped up
on her just a little bit right.

Tag her arse, cost my
license but I had a laugh,

straight up.

- See I knew it was coming
12 years before it did

so I've prepared myself,
so I opened up a business

right here in the neighborhood.

That way they can't
systematically oppress me.

My only problem is finding a
sister involved in the movement

the black women of today
are involved in them

bourgeoisie European values,
fake hair, fake eyes,

fake nails, but talking
about they want a real man.

But when they see
that they're not white

and never will be
they'll be back.

In the meantime I'm gonna
drop these newsletters off

in their mailboxes
till they wake up.

* Treat me with respect and
don't object, just check it *

* And treat me with respect

* You've got to give a
heck and try to reflect *

* And just check it, and
treat me with respect *

* You know it's no good
to be checking on site *

* It's shows your less a
person not more of a man *

* So give me my profits
and the ends in sight *

* And I'll treat
you with respect *

* And everything's all right

* We all know our
lives are shaped *

* By what we choose to do

* And some of us we
just don't care *

* Who we do bad things too

* If you treat me
right then I am sure *

* That you will see

* I'll treat you with respect,
you've done the same for me *

* Treat me with respect

* Everything will
be all right yeah *

* Treat me with respect

* Everything will
be all right yeah *

* Treat me with respect

* Everything will
be all right yeah *

* Treat me with respect

* And everything will
be all right yeah *

(smooth music)

- Hey how you doing?

- All right.

- So what's up?

- Working my
fingers to the bone,

all these nappy head
assistants coming in here

talking about make me look
fine, give me the latest

I wanna tell them there
aint nothing I can do

with them naps, especially
the ones with the kitchens.

But I tell them sit on down
peer, I'll take care of you.

- Now see I'm gonna do
what you say about my hair

when I'm not here.

- Nothing, you're beautiful,

I love working on your hair.

- Yeah I bet.

- How's work?

- Well, I'm up for
that promotion,

and if I get it I'll
be making so much money

I might even have to pay
you when I'm supposed too.

- Hmm, well you deserve
it, how's what's his name?

- Now you know his
name, Thomas, he's fine.

- Are things improving?

- We're trying, I'm trying.

- I don't know what's
wrong with you,

you know what you need?

- I don't even know why I
said anything, don't start.

- No I'm serious, you
know what you need,

you need a man with
some cash flow,

not somebody sitting around
waiting to win the Lotto.

- What did I tell you before,

it has nothing to do with money.

If I just thought
that he was trying.

- Well I'd like to see
him try with no money.

You getting your
hair done today?

- No, just a manicure.

- So where you going tonight?

- I'm going to ask Thomas
to take us to Curry's.

- Curry's, why can't
you go somewhere nice?

- 'Cause he can't
afford it right now.

- Forget what he can
afford, if I were you,

I would put my foot down.

- Well you're not me so
don't worry about it.

- No you see I understand
how they think.

They think that if they
can get the goods for free

then why pay for
it, if I were you

I'd put my services
on strike until

he came up with some money.

I bet he finds some then.
- Do you hear how you sound?

I am not a prostitute.

- That doesn't have anything
to do with prostitution,

just don't settle for less.


- What man, what?

Look man, she's totally into
me I just want to make sure

she's satisfied man.

- Spoony, Spoony, I can't
believe you really think

that shit is gonna work.

- Look man when I pop
a woody, and old girl

gotta play like Paul Bunyan,
you're gonna be asking me

if you can have some and
I aint gonna get you none.

- I don't think so,
I don't think so

besides how you
gonna buy this shit.

You don't look 21, you don't
have a drivers license.

- Look man I got all that
shit taken care of okay.

Let me show you, let
me show you something.

Bam (laughs).

- Oh yeah that
should do the trick.

- Yeah.

- Don't you think
that's a bit extreme?

- Look man Spoony do
anything to get a nut off,

anything, I'll be
right back all right.

- It don't even look
real, what is that shit,

piece of you momma's rug?

- Can I help you?

- Yeah I'd like to
buy some Mr Big Cream,

it's for my little brother
he's out in the car.

- Small, medium or large?

- Which size do I need
to get about 10 inches.

- Hmm, how long is it now?

- Just give me the
large will yah.

- Sure, here you go.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

- Hasta la vista.

It's time to go bust Jimmy man.

- So how long before
this stuff takes effect?

- I don't know I gotta go home
and read the instructions.

- I can't wait to
see how it works.

- See?

You better go ask
old boy how it works,

he aint seeing shit.

- Boy shut up, let's go.

- See how it works?

(smooth music)

- Hey.
- Hey.

It's a good movie.

- So, are we still
going out tonight?

- You know I was
thinking maybe we should

take a rain check tonight, I
don't think I can afford it.

- Thomas you promised
me we'd go out tonight.

- Yeah I know but hey,
what am I gonna do,

you don't have it,
you don't have it.

- You'd have it if you
went to work sometimes.

- How much money do you have?

- Why is it that
every time we go out

I have to chip in or
pay for the whole thing?

- Come on now, get with
the program, it's the 90s.

- I don't care what year it
is, why can't you be a man

sometimes and treat
me like a lady?

- Hey man, wait a minute,
what does my being a man

have to do with taking you out?

- Look I'm sorry, it's just
that you don't even try

to do things for me.

- Valerie come on you know
how much money I make.

- Honey there has got
to be more to life

then you making $6 an hour
and hanging on the street

with your friends drinking.

- You only make $9.

- At least I'm trying.

- Hey come, I'm trying too,
it's just easier for you.

- Oh yeah here we go again,
it's easier for a woman.

- It is easier for a
woman, you know that.

And you know I always try.

All right, all right,
all right, all right,

where you wanna go?

- Anywhere except Burger King,
I'll let you choose the place

- Yeah well I'll surprise you,

at least you aint got to be
in the kitchen burning shit.


(suspenseful music)

- Hey yeah.


Fuck that.

- So Carl, just why did you
become a Jehovah's Witness?

- Because it eliminated
a lot of the confusion

in my life.

- Yeah how so?

- Well, when you live by
God's word, life's heavenly.

- Life's heavenly huh.

Well listen tell me,
what would you do

in a situation like this right?

You're involved with
this woman and she knows

what your financial situation
is yet she still insists

that you take her to the most
expensive restaurant around,

what would you do?

- Am I married to this woman?

- No, no.

- Well I'd tell
her to seek Jesus.


- You would, I'm sorry you
don't have a woman now do you?

- Gentlemen, a little less talk
and more productivity here.

- Yes ma'am.

- Hello Carl.

- Good afternoon.

- Thomas, is everything okay.

- Yeah.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- All right then well
let's get busy here okay.

- She's quite a lady, she
belongs to the AME church.

If she was a Witness
I'd try to talk to her.

- Why's she gotta be a Witness?

- You don't mix the
devil with Jehovah.

- Carl, you shouldn't
condemn people

just 'cause they're
a different religion.

- Well all I know is
there's only one way

to become a righteous man.

- Yeah right.

- Look I'm gonna go try Jack.

- Good luck.

- [Carl] Want to come to
one of the Witness meetings?

- Hell no.

(knocking on door)

- Who is it?
- Carl.

- Carl who?

- [Carl] Carl from
merchandising sir.

- Oh Carl, come on in.

How you doing Carl?

- Hi.
- Have a seat.

How can I help you Carl?

- [Carl] I have a
cousin Rosemary,

she's a singer and I was
wondering if you could do

a story on her.

- Carl is she top 40?

- [Carl] No sir.

- Does she have a video out?

- [Carl] No.

- Then she can't
sell my magazine.

- [Carl] I was thinking
maybe you could do

just a little article
on her in the back.

- No, how many times do
I have to teach you all

that I am not in the business
of trying to make stars.

I exploit them once they're big.

Now get the hell out of here,

and keep saying to
yourself all day

that exploitation of stars
is money, money, money.

Close the door behind you Carl.

(car horns blaring)

- See I'm telling you man,
if Jesse had won the election

this world would
be a better place.

- Oh yeah, how's that BJ?

- We would have
someone on the inside

to look after our needs.

- Man that black,
white shit is so tired.

BJ, our needs as you like to
put it will be looked after

when we stop being
so complacent,

start taking some
control of our lives.

I'm a tell you the truth
man I voted for Bush.

Yeah, Bush, you know why,

'cause Bush has the
tendency to look after

those of us who know how
to look after ourselves,

and I might add that might
have just a little bit to do

with why I'm standing
here getting rich,

and you, you're over
there behind that counter,

complaining like a bitch.

- Look man it figures
you would think that

but you know what
individual success

doesn't mean anything
compared to the collective.

Sure you get you a couple
of toms who they let

slip through the cracks and
then give them a few crumbs.

- Tom, man who
you calling a tom?

- You, you the one always
bent over for the white man.

- Hey er, boys, boys, what's up?

- Hey Thomas.

- What's going on Thomas?

- Nothing much, listen--

- No nothing much at all,
we just here listening

to Marcus Larvae over here,
he's just taken another enema

and he's spreading that
back to Africa shit

all over the place again.

- Yeah, yeah, well that's
real nice but I need

a little favor.

You see I need to
borrow a little money,

okay, a lot of money,
well $100 you know,

I gotta take Val out tonight.

- Ah what is it, her birthday?

- No man, you see this class
thing it's kind of contagious

and our friend here he's
been hanging around me

for a little while and I
do believe I'm starting

to rub off on him.

He wants to explore some of the
finer things in life tonight

- No Alex we just wanna go out.

- Man can't you take her
somewhere more affordable?

- You know that is
a serious infraction

of the perpetration laws.

- You know something
Alex you're deep.

No man I'm just trying to
take her somewhere nice

because I guess I'm a
little overdue you know.

- You know what man, I had a
lady pull that one me once.

Wanted me to take her
to this restaurant

that she saw on television,
I told her to get that

media hype out there of
how we're supposed to eat

steak out of her mind,
go into the kitchen

and make us some tofu
or she can leave.

- What she do?

- She left.


- Breakfast, lunch and
dinner, BJ the poor girl

probably just couldn't
eat another bean pie.

- No, no, no man she was a
down sister when I met her.

But see then my
business went down

and she had to go get
one of them downtown jobs

then she started meeting
them shells of men,

well dressed, looking
good with a nice car,

and then she turned into a
handkerchief head like you.

- What you mean is she
developed some taste and class

which is a good thing
because as I recall

she was one ugly sister.

- Man you wouldn't
know a beautiful woman

if she slapped you in your face.

- Tap, what am I, am I good
for the money here or what?

- Look man, I got
$34 I can give you.

- There's 16 I wouldn't pay
a penny more for that heifer.

- Thank you Alex, fuck you Alex.

Thanks BJ.

I'll see you later.

- Okay, hey Thomas
coming to my rally.

- Yeah, yeah I be there.

- You'll probably be
the only one there too.

- Do you have a reservation sir?

- Uh yeah, Weinstein.

- It just so happens that
we have a cancellation

but next time I do suggest
that you make a reservation.

- There won't be a next time.

- Why you always
gotta embarrass me?

- Well I'm going to work
for everything I want,

I don't need a man
to take care of me.

- No Paula you're going to
work for everything you get

because you have too.

- Why won't you
just lay off Paula?

- I just don't like the
accusation she makes,

she's too jealous.

- Oh jealous of what?

It's just that my body
isn't up for sale.

- That's because don't
nobody want to buy it.

- Are y'all gonna
play cards or what?

- She's just pissed
because I'm tall,

I have long pretty
hair, I can wear Spandex

and I'm lighter then you.

- Sharon, you're a whore, and
you make all women look bad

and you need to stop.

- Don't blame me for
making you look bad.

(phone ringing)

- Hello.

Oh sure Alex, when
will you be by?

Uh huh, see you then.

That was Alex, you
remember the rich guy,

the one with the Corvette.

The one that said
you look like a turd.

- I see he knows who
to call when he gets

a little extra money
and wants a little sex.

- Why don't you and
your ugly ass momma

just get on the bus and work
your fingers to the bone okay.

- We'll do that.

- Guess what.
- What?

- Guess.

- You want lobster now.

- Now see I don't even
wanna tell you now.

- I'm joking, I'm
joking, come on, come on,

tell me, what, what.

- I got the promotion.

- Yes, that's great, that's
great congratulations.

- Now I'll be making
$35,000 a year.

- Whoa, wow, you
can buy me that car.

- No.

- Come on, come on, that's
excellent, that's excellent.

You deserve it, you worked
really hard, I'm proud of you.

- The boss took me out to
this real fancy lunch today.

- You what, your boss
took you to lunch?

- He is 40 years old and
married, don't worry about it.

- Okay, okay.
- So.

Have you been thinking about
what you want to do yet?

- No I still really
haven't figured it out yet.

- Well, I can't wait
till you figure it out

'cause once you do we
can start on the future.

- Welcome to Pierre's
may I help you?

- I need a touch up
and please hurry.

- You've never been here
before, I never forget a perm,

what's your name?
- Sharon.

- Sharon what happened
to your last dresser?

- He's not in, he's
in Paris for the month

and I have some
place to go tonight.

- Let's see how
beautiful I can make you.

- Pierre I have
something to tell you.

- What is it?

- Bend down.

Be careful I have an extension.

- You mean a weave.

- You know, you have a
lot of tacky tacky nerve

to bust me out in front of
your customers like that.

- Talk about tacky,
look at this tacky weave

you brought up in here.

If God wanted the shit to be
long, the shit would be long.

- You know I do not have
to take this abuse from you

I have other places
I can spend my money

and I think I will go find one.

I know where the door is.

- Then use it.

(smooth jazz music)

- Pierre you are too raw.

- I'm not raw, I just
don't play that shit.

If you gonna wear
a weave be proud,

don't go around trying
to trick people.

(smooth jazz music)

- No bus yet.

- I cannot believe
I am standing here

all dressed up
waiting for the bus.

- Rain, rain, rain, rain, why
you always got to complain?

Besides where's
your car Miss It?

- I knew you were
gonna say that.

Look I'm not trying
to cause a fight.

- Valerie look I know you
think I'm walking through life

with blinders on but I'm not.

Hey I see what's out here
but it's hard all right.

Why can't you just
be satisfied, content

with what you got right now.

- Content, I am so
tired of being content.

What's gonna happen
when we get married?

- I thought we'd live
happily ever after.

- And how are we supposed
to give our children

a better life if all
you're living for is today

and not for the future.

- Man being with marriage
you've got kids now come on.

- Oh I'm sorry we're just
supposed to fuck all our lives

and never make a commitment.

- Well you know
honestly I never really

gave it that much thought.

- So Thomas where is
this relationship going?

- One step at a time is good
for me, how's that grab you?

- Where did he take you?

- We went to the French
Riviera, it was so wonderful.

- Dave took me to
Barbados for my vacation.

- Valerie what did
you say the name

of your boyfriend was again?

- Thomas.

- Where did you and Thomas
go on your last vacation?

(doorbell ringing)

- Who is it?

- It's Pierre is Valerie home?

- No she isn't.

- Well she'll be home
in a few minutes,

do you mind if I wait?

- Yes I do.

- Go have a seat.

Go have a seat.

- No, no, no I aint
here for that sister,

all I want is some
rubbers that's it.

- I can't hear you.

- I said all I want is some
rubbers and I'm out of here.

- Could you speak
up I can't hear you.

- Damn, all right you trying
to bust me, all right.

I said I'm getting
some ass tonight

and I need some rubbers.



- Thomas why didn't you
let Pierre in the door?

- Hey I was taking a shower
I didn't want him in here

roaming around.

- You aint got shit I want.

- Yeah well I was
just making sure.

- You are so childish, oh
yeah I called your work today.

- Well I was tired,
so I took half a day.


- Disgusting.

- I'm sorry.

- You don't have to
apologize for that.

- He is so
frustrating sometimes.

- I told you what
to do about it.

- I don't want to have this
conversation again okay.

- Going to the store,
you want anything?

- No.

- You don't have
to be so damn rude,

you see me sitting here
I might want something.

- Here, suck on that,
should hold you over

till this evening.


- He is so tired.

Like I was about to say to
you, you have been seeing

the wrong type of man.

- What kind of man
should I be seeing?

- Valerie sit down.

You need to get you a rich man.

- I knew you were
gonna say that.

- With a rich man you
don't have to worry

about being embarrassed
or anything.

- That is the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard.

Men are men, they're dogs.

Probably wouldn't have
anything in common

with a rich guy anyway.

- Like you have something
in common with Thomas.

- Yeah that's right.

I don't know, we used to
have so much in common

but it's like he doesn't
care about anything anymore.

- See rich men believe in
old fashioned tradition

of treating a woman like
a lady, with respect.

- Now how would you know?

- You don't think I go
out with broke men do you?

- I don't know what to do.

- Look there's a party
coming up for the Gold Coast

Single Club, there'll be lots
of single rich men there.

- I cannot do that.

- If you don't like
it, you can leave.

- Well, maybe it
wouldn't hurt anyway.

(suspenseful music)

- Yo Spoony.

- What up yo?

- Give me two.

- Dry or lubricated?

- Lubricated.

- That's $7 my brother.

You only gonna crack two huh?

- It's a start I just met her.

- Get it for me
one time black man.

- Sure will.

- Sexy money.

- Thomas look at that.

- That looks boring.

Oh check this out, see that?

- Thomas?

- Oh come on Valerie,
$2 for a flower

that's gonna die tomorrow,
I don't think so.

- I wonder where they're going?

- Going to work,
that mans a waiter.

- You're so romantic.

- Come on let's go home.

Oh yeah, oh yeah

oh baby, oh baby,

oh yeah.

(groaning with pleasure)

- Hey, hey baby what's wrong?

- Nothing.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- Come on baby, tell
me what's wrong.

- Why would you think
there's something wrong?

- You know I've been with
you for eight months now,

and I know that
something is wrong.

- Surprised you're
that sensitive.

- What are you trying to say?

- I'm tying to say you're
over there huffing and puffing

like you conquered the
world or something.

- Damn Val you bitch
about everything,

I just finished.

- Yeah I know what
you just finished.

What about me?

- You didn't, you didn't--

- No I didn't.

I mean do I ever?

- Now that's a fucked
up thing to say.

You see I thought you did.

- That's because
all you think about

is satisfying yourself.

I mean as bad as
things are between us

you think that I could at
least be sexually satisfied.

I mean the way I see it
that's all you're good for

and you can't even do that.

- You know something
you can really be

a serious bitch sometimes.

What the fuck am
I supposed to do?

- You can try thinking
about my needs sometimes.

- All right, all
right I'm sorry.

Listen just give me a
few minutes all right

and I'll work it back up.

- You don't need a few minutes.

- Well it's not like I got an
on and off switch you know.

- You can do something else.

- Something else like what?

- You know.

- What?

- You know.

- Valerie have you
lost your mind?

Have you fucking, I just
finished fucking you.

- Fucking me, you know
what you're exactly right,

you did just finish fucking
me, satisfying yourself.

- I can't believe how
crazy you are girl.

I mean you know how
nasty that shit is?

- Yeah about as nasty as
having somebody on top of you

who don't know what
the fuck he's doing.

- Hey, hey, I can
say what you want,

but I ain't doing
that nasty shit.

- Yeah well fine, you
don't ever have to have sex

with me again, it's not
like I'm getting anything

out of it anyway.

Why don't you just turn
your poor ass around

and go to sleep.

- Why you always got
to throw that shit in?

- Because you're a
broke motherfucker.

* Lets treat each
other with respect *

- So as you already know
I had to call this meeting

because our sales are
down 2.3 million dollars

from last quarter,
and Jack isn't happy.

And this morning he said
that he will be laying off

a few people within
the next 30 days.

These are your
performance records,

they'll give you an
indication of what you did

last quarter, what you
didn't do this quarter,

and where we expect you to
be by the end of the month.

It will also give you a good
indication as to whether

your job is in jeopardy,
and if you are in danger

you have 30 days to get
back on the right track.

Now I suggest that
we work real hard

to bring those
performance levels up.

I wish each of you good
luck, and let's get to work.

Thomas I'd like to speak
with you for a moment.

- Yeah sure.

- Thomas I'm particularly
concerned about you

because your performance levels
have been so far below par

that it's almost a cinch that
you're going to get fired.

Thomas, what do you have
to say for yourself?

- Well I've just, I don't know,

been having a lot
of problems lately.

- It's been more
then just lately,

your performance levels
have been down now

for several months.

- Yeah I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know.

- Thomas, did you know
that your placement scores

ranked you in the top 25%?

- No I didn't know that.

- Well they did, and
based on that information

quite frankly I'm real
disappointed in you.

Thomas if there's anything
that I can do to help

please let me know, okay.


- Okay.

- Now let's get to work.

- I tell you man Alex
got it going on man.

He got these fine sisters man.

- Man, he's as lost as hell bro.

- Lost in that
looked good to me.

- Them gold diggers, as
soon as his money runs out

so will they, he be hanging
out with Martha over there.

- That?

She foul man.

Her hairs so nappy Moses
couldn't put a part in it.

- Your brothers got
a lot to learn man.

- Yeah, yeah.
(doorbell ringing)

That's ugly man.

- [Thomas] Who is it?

- It's me and Baby Malcolm.

- [Thomas] Yeah well
I'm having a discussion

I'll be right down.

- All right.

(sexy romantic music)

- Val please, don't go out
tonight, not tonight all right.

- Don't be stupid,
nothing is gonna happen

to your job tonight.

- I just think we should be
together tonight, that's all.

- Oh yeah well what about
the times when I needed you

and you were out with your
friends hanging in the streets.

- I can't believe that
you're comparing this

time of crisis to some
stupid shit like that.

- It wasn't stupid
to me, excuse me.

- Valerie.
- No.

- Valerie.

(doorbell ringing)

- [Valerie] That you Pierre?

- Yeah it's Pierre.

- Yo P man, let me
ask you a question.

What's a brother like
you do for fun man?

- You'll never know.

- Oh man why you gotta get
all smart and shit man.

I bet you go to the
deli and like pick up

a roll of salami right, run
around to the drug store

and get a tube of Vaseline
and you and the girls

make sandwiches all night.

- Look you don't need to
worry about my evenings,

what about yours?

- No problem man.

- You baby, let's
pick up a 40 ounce,

get a two piece chicken dinner,

take it back to the
crib, turn on the radio

and if you can find
it and I can get it up

we'll both get
some tonight, word.

- Well that's real funny.

- Punk motherfucker.

You know what you're
doing to our women?

- Yeah nothing.

- Listen man with the shortage
we need all of our men

for the survival of the race.

- That's funny, the women
I talk too don't complain

about the shortage, they
complain about the black men

not being about shit.

- What are you
saying man anyway?

- I see a strength, I
see a side of manhood

that most people never see.

- Yeah the back side.

- Love, trust, respect,
qualities that surpass

a black man stereotype, I
have found in my brothers.

And if you're lucky enough
to find these qualities

in someone man or woman,
I suggest you hold onto it

and be proud.

- Valerie, Valerie.
- Let go.

- Are you ready?

- Let's go, hello BJ.

- Hello Valerie.

- That's fucked up you know
that, that's really fucked up.

- What's that man, Valerie
going out with Pierre?

- No man the fact
that I can lose my job

any day and she's
going out partying.

- Hey guys, what's going on?

- Working like clockwork man.

- Oh shit.

- Told yah, working
like clockwork.

- And what does Mohammed
BJ have to speak about

on this fine night?

- What I'm speaking about
man is by the year 2000

70% of our brothers gonna
be unemployed, in jail,

homosexuals or on drugs.

- Where does he get
this nonsense from?

- It's not nonsense man, so
you need to educate yourself.

They already said that
the best place to hide

information from a
brother is between

the pages of a book.

- Well, at least one
thing we know is I'm in

that 30% percentile.

- What difference does it
make if you don't reach back?

- I was kind of
thinking man, you know,

you be sounding right
sometimes you know,

'cause I don't be doing
shit half the time

and I could be doing something
a little better you know.

- Trifling, simply trifling man.

Do you know what I see
when I look at you guys?

- No Alex what do you see?

- Tell you what I see, what
I see is a bunch of lazy,

self defeatist, slave
mentality type niggers.

Who don't have the gumption,
or let me break this down

for Mr Spoony over
here, the balls,

to pick themselves up and do
something with their lives.

- Too bad for us because
you've been brainwashed

to run from that
which is real man.

- Real?

What the hell you talking
about with this real stuff?

Everything about me is real BJ.

I mean just today I pulled me
another Caucasian persuasion.

- So what's that
supposed to mean Alex?

- Come on get with it Thomas.

What is means is I'm
extraordinary because it's quite

obvious that not every
brother can have himself

a white woman.

- Hey you're right cause
they're gold diggers,

they go after you simple
brothers with money.


- I can sure smell the
jealousy in the air tonight.

- That's not jealousy,
you just don't see dogs

mating with cats and
cats mating with rats,

and all that kind of stuff.

- BJ what is this dog,
cat, rat shit got to do

with who I'm sleeping with?

Man listen, I believe
in a colorless world

and not you, you and
especially not you

will tell me who to
adorn myself with.

- See they got you to assimilate
to that kind of thinking.

- So how do they do that?

- Stop encouraging
that motherfucker man.

God damn.

- That's all right
I'll tell you,

it was back in the 70s
when we had out unity

and they knew that in unity
there was strength right.

So then they came in,
they stripped us of it

so we all be like Alex.

- Whole lot of hot air
out here but I'm still

not hearing how.

- I'll tell you how man,
it was back in the day

when we were learning
who we really were.

(upbeat music)

- I told you Rosa Parks
did the right thing.

- You know you right
man, and ever since

that incident happened we've
been together in the struggle.

- Yep, we even got out own
black movies coming out now.

Speaking of which I think
it's time for that movie.

- Let's go and check
this thing out.

Yeah bro, I wants me a
Cadillac and a white bitch.


- Now that was the dumbest
shit I have ever heard

in my life.

Thomas listen to me man,
just forget about Valerie

she don't count, go out
here and get yourself

two or three of those little,

well you know the kind
of jobs you can get.

Save yourself some money
boy and then you'll go out

and find yourself a
new woman and this time

Alex promises you,
you will keep her.

- Alex, yo my man,
you don't have a clue.

- Hey Alex, remember
you're black.

- Y'all talking that crazy
shit man, I'm out of here.

- Hey Thomas, don't
worry about it man,

things gonna be all right.

- I mean how could the
bitch do this to me.

- See from what you just
said I probably can tell you.

- Um Mark, I really need to
talk to Pierre for one second,

can you excuse us, one minute?

- Why you introduce
me to crazy people?

- What's wrong with
you, you could have gone

to see Rick James, I told
you the man had big bank.

What is wrong with you?

- You saw how crazy Thomas
was acting at the house.

- What's up?

- He's probably
gonna lose his job.

Pierre look, that guys
been looking at me

ever since we sat down.

- Which one?

- The one in the tan suit.

- But he's a--

- Yeah I know what he is.

- Look Thomas may
not be the best,

but you want to do that?

- Why don't you go talk
to your friend Mark,

and maybe he'll come
over here and talk to me.


* Maybe as soon as it seems

* Oh my lover,
you are the last *

- Can I sit down?

- Yeah sure.

- Look lets just
get to the point,

do you wanna go out some time?

- Yeah, I do.

- What's your name?

- Valerie.

- Valerie, Brandon.
- It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

Can I get you a drink?

- Yeah sure, Perrier water.

- Okay one Perrier
and a beer please.

You know I'm here all the time,

I'm surprised I
haven't seen you.

- Well this is the first time,
I came with my friend Pierre.

- Oh.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Um, would you like to dance?

- Um, yeah sure.

- Great.

So what do you do?

- I'm a computer
programmer for Comtex.

- Oh my God, what a small
world, I handle their account.

- You're kidding, what
are you a sales man?

- I'm a trader.

- Oh that's good.

- Yeah, it's got
it's highs and lows.

- Looks like we have
a short dance here.

Why don't you come over here
and let me introduce you

to a friend of mine.

- Sure.

- Um Brandon this
is my friend Pierre,

Pierre, Brandon.

- Hello, nice to meet you.

- Look Valerie, I gotta get
going but dinner tomorrow night?

- Sounds great.

- Great, let me get your number.

- Oh okay, um you know
what why don't you give me

your card and I'll
give you a call.

- Oh great, sure.

Here you go, so tomorrow
night eight o'clock.

- Sounds great.

- It's nice seeing
you, nice meeting you.

- It was nice to meet you.

- And I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- Okay.

- Great, bye.

- That is mine.

(somber jazz music)

- I just wanted to let you
know that was real selfish

what you did tonight.

- Selfish, you got a lot of
nerve calling somebody selfish.

You have to be the most
selfish person I've ever met.

You know Thomas you have
got to start doing something

with your life, I am
tired of you being a bum

all your life.

- Do me a favor and
just stop bitching at me

just for once, just
for a minute here.

- You know what you're
right, I'm sorry,

it's not like it
does any good anyway.

- All right, all right, since
you're so unhappy with me

why don't you just pack
your shit and leave?

Yeah that's right, you go
ahead, you find somebody else

'cause I'm sick of this shit.
- You're sick of this shit?

- Yeah.
- Well then fine I will leave.

- Good, get the fuck out.

- Don't you even think it
will be hard to replace you.

(fingers clicking)

- Just hurry it up bitch.

I can't believe you're
really doing this,

especially at a time like this.

- What do you mean
especially now?

- I'm losing my fucking job.

- So how long did you think
they were gonna let you

just take off and mess up?

- Look, can we just um,

can we just try to
give this another shot?

I'll get my shit together
baby, I just need you,

I need you.

I need you now more then I
have ever needed you before.

- Thomas I'm sorry but
it's like we're moving

in two different directions.

I need somebody who wants to
do the same things that I do.

If I stayed here now
you'd be fine today,

but next week you'd be
back to the same thing.

- Valerie, you gotta
give me another chance.

You gotta give me
another chance Valerie.

- Try not to be here tomorrow,
I'll come get my stuff.

Thomas I really hope you
get your life together.

- Yeah.

- Seems as if this was
bound to happen man.

- I don't know,

I just wish she hadn't left.

You think we could
have worked it out?

- To be honest with you
man Valerie was base level.

- Base level.

- Yeah see man, put people
onto three levels right.

The first one is spiritual
which I'll say is about

8% of the population.

See you get a woman on
this level and you'll be

happy forever.

- What are the other two levels?

- Well the second
is the intellectual.

These are the people that try
to apply logic to everything,

lot of book sense
but no common sense.

Then the third is the
base level person,

they're into cars
and sex and money

and all that superficial stuff.

I hate to say it but this
is the largest segment

of the population.

- Yo how much for the paper?

- 20 cent.

- 20?
- 20 cents.

- 20?

- Yo man the man
said 20, two dimes,

give the man the
money, damn man.

- Thank you brother.

- That brother looked like
a cricket man didn't he?

All right, all right what up yo.

- Peace bro.

- Man I'm telling you man
I'm taking you to this

going on ass party tomorrow man.

- Nah man, I don't feel
like going to a party.

- For like, man I know
you aint up and worried

about Val are you man?

- I just don't feel like
going to no party okay.

- Okay man look, I
don't see why not.

I mean it's gonna be much,
much, much ass there man.

I'm talking about ass,
all over the place.

- Spoony, Spoony, see what
I tell you, base level.

* We got to try to
love one another *

* Do the right thing

* We got to try to
love one another *

* Do the right thing

- You wrote this?

- Mother maybe that is
a stereotype just like

the ones they have about us.

- I understand you
wanting to leave Thomas

but I just think you're
going off the deep end.

- Are you prejudice?

- No I'm not prejudice, I
just know you're doing this

for the wrong reasons.

- What do you mean?

- Look Valerie if you just
happened to meet a white man

and he was nice to you then
you'd have my blessings.

You start telling me how
they treat your coworkers

and I know you're
tripping again.

- I am not tripping again.

How can you say that
there's no difference?

- I'm not saying
there's no difference

I'm just saying that any
difference that you think

exists is more then individual
thing and not a racial one.

- Okay well we'll see, do
you know where the vase is?

- It's in the pantry,
why do you need it?

- For the flowers that
Brandon's gonna bring me.

- I thought when
someone brings flowers

it's usually a surprise.

- Now see that's why
I'm making the change,

they always bring me
flowers on the first date.

- Oh please, I just hope
you're not setting yourself up

for a big let down.

- Well mother when Brandon
and I are in Europe

I'll give you a call.

- God bless you.

(doorbell ringing)

- Now see he's even on time.

- He's probably anxious
to see if it's true.

- If what is true?

Hi, why don't you come
in and meet my mother.

- Great.

- Mother this is Brandon,
Brandon this is my mother.

- Hello Mrs Young
nice to meet you.

- Oh my pleasure Brandon.

Oh I have something for you.

For you.

- Thanks.

- I'll take care
of this for you.

- So where are you
two going tonight?

- To a restaurant or
wherever she wants to go.

- Sounds good.
- Yeah.

- Well don't let
me hold you back.

- It was nice meeting
you Mrs Young.

- Nice meeting you Brandon.

- See you again sometime.

- Maybe next time I can cook
dinner for you and Valerie?

- Sounds great.

- Goodbye mother.

- Night.

- Yo sis what they get you for?

- Brandon, this is
my brother Andre,

he thinks he's a comedian.

- Oh I get it I was
supposed to be a police man,

how funny, nice
to meet you Andre.

- I forget, how
the heck are yah.

- I'm all right, I'm all right.

- Go on in the house,
I will see you later.

- Dope.
- Dope?

Hey don't you think you're
a little too young for that.

- Huh funny.

(upbeat dance music)

- You know would
you lighten up man,

this is a party not a funeral.

- Yeah I knew I shouldn't
have come out here.

I don't know how I let you
talk me into this shit.

- What up homey?

Sit down man, sit down.

I'm telling you man
the honey's is here,

and they all over the place
so don't be slow driving.

Check out old girl, she's fine.

She got a trunk of funk.

- She does look
good doesn't she.

- Yeah well that means you
should go mack her down.

Go on, go get her.

Yeah, go on.

I don't know what to say.

You know how long it's been man.

- Look Thomas I understand okay,

but Valeries gone,
her days are over.

- Right Valerie's gone.

- You need some yams.

- All right.

- Go get them.

- All right, you're
right, you're right.

- Go get them.

- I'm going.

Do the right thing yeah.

Do the black thing I'm going.

- Go, go, go.

* You don't have to worry

- Hey how you doing?

I'm Thomas, and I was er,

well I was, and em--

- Hi, my name is Shirley,

would you like to
buy me a drink?

- A drink yeah, what are
you, what are you drinking?

- A sloe gin fizz.

- Sloe gin fizz all
right coming up.

- Baby we should just
go back to my crib

and get busy I'm telling you.

- But I don't know you.

- Ooh baby that
don't mean nothing.

We can get acquainted
back at my crib.

- Someone as frank
as you I don't think

you can handle me anyway.

- Slow gin fizz, Shirley,
if I, if I put a move on you

am I gonna get turned down?

- It depends.

- On what?

- On how drunk I get.

- Let me straighten
you out baby.

Jimmy's strapped
with four big inches.

- So have you ever gone out
with anybody black before?

- You know I haven't
really on a kind of

one on one basis but I have
a lot of black friends.

- So why'd you go out with me?

- Why not I mean I
find you attractive.

- That's a good reason.

I don't know if you could
tell but my mother's

a little apprehensive
about us going out tonight.

- Yeah so that's what's
going on between you two huh.

- Yeah I mean I told
her, I said mother,

it shouldn't make a difference
what race somebody is.

I mean we're all the same right.

- You know, now that
I think about it

there might be a small
difference here and there

but I mean we don't have
to let it get in our way.

- No we're all God's children.

- I agree.

So tell me what
do you like to do?

- Go to the symphony.

- Do you really?

I love it, I love Danielle.

- Oh yeah he's great.

- You know, you're all right
just like your brother.

- Why?

- Well she's one of the
greatest conductors around

and you call her a man.

- Oh.

- Look I'm sorry I
didn't mean that,

it's a bad habit of mine.

- I really like shopping
at Neman Marcus.

- I always thought they
were a little overpriced.

- Well you know they
say you have to pay

for the best things in life.

- Guess you're right.

Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean that.

- Thomas used to do that.

- Thomas?

- My ex-boyfriend.

- Hmm, so I take it that
kind of thing bothers you.

- I think it's disrespectful.

- You know Valerie
I never understood

why women get so shook up
over something like that.

I mean it's just like if
you're looking at a car

or something, it's not
that big of a deal.

- What you think that
women are objects?

- No it's just that I mean
all women look different

and as long as you
don't lust, I mean,

I don't see anything
wrong with it.

- Yeah I know I just
figured that if a man

is out with me he shouldn't
be looking at anybody else

and if he does maybe he
shouldn't be with me.

- You're that jealous
kind of type aren't you?

- No.

- Yeah you are, I know you are.

- Well maybe a little.

- That's cute.

- So what time do you go
to work in the morning?

- Hmm, about 8:30.

- Would you like to go
for a walk in the morning?

- Yeah that'd be
great I'd love too.

- What are you thinking about?

- Nothing.

- Come on you gotta be
thinking about something.

- Look what does nothing mean,
I said nothing all right.

- Could you please not twirl
my hair I don't like it.

I don't feel
comfortable with it.


- You know something I
really don't give a fuck

what you don't like .

- What is your problem?

- You.

You're my problem,
do me a favor,

get the hell out of here.

- What?

- Just shut the fuck up and
get the fuck out of here!

- You know you are really
sick, you are sick.

(gentle piano music)

- Now see that's another
thing about Thomas,

he wasn't romantic at all.

He thought it was
stupid to go for walks

and go to plays and
stuff like that.

- That's crazy, you know
Val it really seems like

you weren't too
satisfied with him.

- Yeah that's right, now
see, look at that building.

That's exactly how I wanna
live, penthouse apartment,

doorman, big car, all
the best things in life.

- Val that sounds great but
how do you plan on getting

all of these things?

- Thomas I really hate
to have to tell you this

but I was in Jack's office
earlier this morning

and I caught a glimpse
of the pink slip list

that he had on his desk, and
your name is near the top.

- Well you know
something Michelle it
really doesn't matter.

- Thomas, you've either been
a no show or late for work

for the past two weeks.

Now I don't know what it is
that you're going through

but it can't be the
end of the world.

- You don't understand,
Valerie left.

- Valerie, who's Valerie?

- Well she was my lady
till she got tired of me

not being able to take her out
and buy her expensive things

so she left.

- First of all, any
woman who would leave you

because you can't
afford to take her out

really isn't a woman.

Secondly, this is a good
company, and I would hate

to see you tarnish your work
record by getting fired.

Thomas, there are some
good women out here.

But you have got to
get your act together

if you hope to meet one one day.

As for right now you really
shouldn't even be thinking

about a lady, you should be
focusing on getting your life

in order, can you do that?

Think about it okay.

- Hey, thanks.

- So is it true.

- About this new guy?

- What are you
two talking about?

- Lisa told me what he's like.

- Oh I get it.

- So what happened
to what's his name?

- Thomas, we're not
seeing each other anymore.

- So what does Brandon do?

- Oh well he's a trader.

- Sounds nice, have
you been out yet?

- Yeah he took me
to dinner last night

and then he took me for
a walk this morning.

- Oh them were the good old days

when George picked me up.

Of course when he
first started dating.

- He stopped?

- Of course he stopped,
all men do right?

They wine and dine you at first

and when they get
used to you they stop.

- Better enjoy it
while it lasts.

- What's up?

- Whoa, so how was traffic?

- The worse, the worse.

- So what are we gonna do today?

- I didn't tell you, I'm sorry,

I'm gonna have to take
a rain check today.

I'm in a tennis match
at the country club.

- Well can I go?

- Look maybe another time
it's not a good time.

- I wish you had told me I
could have found a way home.

- No it's okay, I can
still give you a ride.

Okay, so how was your day, good.

- Very tiring.

- All right I need to
get to this rally man.

- One more, one more,
just one more all right.

- Come on man, let's go man.

- All right, all
right, all right.

I was walking on the beach right

getting high with
some of the homies

and we saw this
female in the sand.

She didn't have no
arms, no legs right.

So she called me over
and says, excuse me

I aint never been hugged before.

So I figured she wanted a
hug, I gave her a hug right.

The next thing you know
she said, excuse me

I aint never been kissed before.

So I was like fuck it,
I give her a kiss right.

Then she pulled me
real down close to her

and she was like, I aint
never been fucked before.

So I picked her up,
threw her in the water

and said you fucked now.


- All right man.
- Be cool.

- Peace.

- Brothers a fool man.

(smooth jazz music)

(car tires squealing)
(car horn blaring)

* Girl we've come so far

* What about my heart

* Don't you even care anymore

* I can't believe you say

* You've thrown it all away

* As if there was
no love ever there *

* As if we never loved before

* I never meant
that much to you *

* You believe you won't
stay to see it through *

* Did you know you would
break my heart today *

* And you tear it all apart
and just throw it away *

* I never knew that
I could hurt so bad *

* Never.


* I never knew it
would hurt so bad *

* When I think about the
dirty love that we had *

* Should have known when the
fire wasn't in your eyes *

* I was in too deep to realize

* I didn't know

* I never meant
that much to you *

* Can't believe you won't
stay to see it through *

* Can't you love me baby

* It's hard today

* Why didn't you let me know,

* Why didn't you let me know

- Hey what up Spoons.

- What up man, what the
fuck you doing up in there?

- Was talking with a friend
of mine from high school.

Ex-criminal, now he's
the pastor of this place.

Guess he was just giving
me some of his truths.

- Look man you bring
your arse to the crib

around 8:30, I'll hook
you up on some truths.

- Not those kind
of truths Spoony.

- Man I hope you
aint letting Valerie

make you lose your
mind are you man?

- Oh Spoony you
wouldn't understand.

- Oh man don't even try
to fade me like that man,

see that's the problem
you niggers start going

to college and church
and all them places

and you come out
thinking you're all that,

but you aint.

- Yeah you know I don't
think I'm all that.

I aint better then anybody else,

I just went in there to check
out the service all right.

- Look man I just hope
there's no fucking

with our friendship 'cause I
aint gee for that church shit.

- Spoony don't talk like
you don't have the sense

you were born with all right.

- I bet you got the Holy
Ghost though didn't yah,

I bet you you did.

- Yeah, I got your Holy Ghost.

- [Brandon] Hello.

- Brandon it's Valerie.

- [Brandon] Hey, how you doing?

- Fine, I was um,
wondering if you'd like

to go to breakfast this morning?

- [Brandon] Oh I'd love
too but I gotta run,

I have a breakfast meeting
this morning at work.

But can we get
together after work?

- Oh sure.

- [Brandon] All right, um,
pick you up at the same time.

- Okay I'll see you then.

- [Brandon] Bye.

- Bye.

- Marty it sounds like
a real attractive offer

but I'm not ready to
make a move just yet.

(knocking on door)

Oh hold on one second.

- Cheryl, how you
doing, you got a minute?

- Sure, sure, come on in.

Listen Marty I'll have to
call you right back okay.

Bye bye.

So what's on your mind?

- Uh listen I was wondering
if there was anything

I could do to um, save my job?

- Oh really, so why
the sudden change?

- Well I guess I
figured that er,

if I didn't do something
with my life soon

I wouldn't amount to much.

- Wow, I'm glad to hear
that you're finally

thinking that way.

So what happened, did
your girlfriend come back?

- No, I er, I just
want to make a change.

- Wow, I'll tell you what
if you're really sincere

about making an improvement
I'll have something

to take back to Jack, and you
know that I have Jacks ear.

- Yeah, yeah.

- So, do we have a deal?

- Sounds like a deal to me.

- [Cheryl] Okay (laughs).

- Thanks.

- It was really nice of
you to make dinner for me.

- Oh it was my pleasure, can
I get you something else.

Perrier water, I
bought it just for you.


- Um, I have to
tell you something,

I hate Perrier water,
I um, I told you that

when I met you because I
didn't know what to say,

and it seemed like the
right thing at the time.

I was really nervous.

- Oh come on, it
didn't matter to me.

- Why don't you tell
me about your family?

I haven't met your parents yet.

- Man let me tell you I
thought I knew all about women,

turns out man I'm just
beginning to learn.

- That's 'cause you have
to learn to make love

to a womans mind man, anybody
can have sex with them.

- Yeah, yeah, now I
know what happened

between you and your woman.

Her mind was feeling
good but her body

wasn't feeling like nothing man.

- No, no, don't get
me wrong now brother,

I know how to physically
satisfy a woman too,

I'm just saying she
needs more then that.

- Spoony I bet you do what
I used to do all the time

just bust your nut, roll right
over and go to sleep right.

- You know that shit dog, she
better get it while it lasts

'cause it's going fast.

- Yeah but doesn't that
make you stop and think

why you can't hold onto a woman?

I mean they gotta be tired
of being treated like

sex objects.

- You know you really
shouldn't be so hard

on black men, you just
haven't found a good one.

- I'm not hard on them, I
just know they aint no good.

They just out to use you
for what they can get.

- What are you complaining
about, you get paid for it.


- Oh here we go.

- I mean look at me
I've got a good man.

- A good man?

- Yeah.
- He works at the gas station.

He's the reason our
average income is so low.

- All right he doesn't
make a lot of money

but he treats me right.

Now I don't sit around
bitter about men,

or jump at their every whim
because they bought me.

- You know things always
seem to work themselves out

for a reason 'cause the men I
know they wouldn't want you.

- Back to that again,
Sharon what's wrong?

I thought you and
Alex were going out?

- Oh Alex is not like
a real boyfriend.

Shoot he just comes
around sometimes.

I don't know, they
either conceited, broke,

or uneducated, I think
they all messed up.

- You shouldn't think that
way 'cause if we don't believe

in them for sure
no one else will.

- There you go.

- Look at him over there.

I bet you he's a drug dealer.

- Nope, I'm an accountant.

- And look at him, I bet you
he's running from the police.

- Nope, I'm late for work.

- Ooh, my God, now see
that is my kind of man.

I bet you he's an engineer.

- Hello ladies.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Hey how you doing?

- Okay.


- Hey!

- Am I learning something
here or what right?

No, no a woman not only
want physical love,

she needs that mental
love, that spiritual love

and the emotional love too.

- See that's something that
you brothers aren't doing.

- You know I think
I've figured out why

some women just might
fall for a clown like BJ.

I mean his whole game
is crying, begging,

playing up to them, he's just
like that pathetic singer,

what's his name, er,
Ray Parker Junior,

he used to try to
put in his music.

* A woman needs love
just like you do *

Scratch all of that, you
don't have to be whining

like some puppy dog,
old girl gets hurt

you just take her downtown
and you buy her something.

Next thing you know
she's feeling all better.

Now preferably you wanna
get her some nice lingerie

so she can make you
feel better later on.


- Now see that's
what you have to do.

See when I make love to a
woman I hold her in my arms

and I let her know
that she's mine,

and that together
we're strong right.

I use foreplay to stimulate her,

plus I'm sensitive to her needs.

- Oh man, man, man, tell you man

by the time you get started
with all that nonsense

I'm through, Jimmy's wet
and I'm catching some Z's

up in the corner, man,
get out of here with this.

- That's why we all need to
follow up behind you Spoony

and make sure we
satisfy your women

because we know you
won't be satisfying them.

- Come on Spoony man
we need you to be a man

for our women, don't you
know that's one of the main

reasons that women
leave men 'cause you all

are all insensitive
and all you think about

is yourself?

- Tell you the truth guys,

I can't even relate to the
stuff y'all talking about.

As a matter of fact, most
women they get all hot

just looking at me.

- Man, man, Alex come on
back down to Earth with us,

join us here on reality
street with that shit.

- No man straight up,
listen, just the other day

I had this divine
creature in bed with me

and you know she had
the nerve to bet me

that in three tries I
couldn't knock her arse out.

- So you fucked her three times

and busted her
head with a brick.


- Y'all pathetic man, listen
I'm out of here later.

- All right homey take care.

- What are you watching?

- This show it's
crazy, I've never seen

anything like this before.

- What's so funny about it?

- Val you gotta check it
out, there's these black guys

they're all walking
around town going yeah,

where's my hoe, tag up dog yeah.

I've never seen anything
like this before.

- And you think
that shits funny?

It's exploitive.

- Yeah so what I'm
saying is I'm trying

to get my shit back --

- Man Thomas as soon as
I brought in the crib man

she was just like --
- Trying to do better at work.

- Over me man.

- I'm thinking about
going back to school.

- She just whipped her
bra off and her titties

just blam, fell out
all over the place.

- Why do we always have to
talk about women like this?

- Nipples this big.

- Spoony, spoony you don't even
hear a damn word I'm saying.

- And it was just
waiting on me, waiting--

- You're momma.

- Just calling me, said
Spoony come get it,

Spoony come get it--

- With a big fat
skanky ass Spoony.

- And she was just woo
man, and finally I was just

getting ready to grab her ass--

- Spoony what is
that on your lip,

a big old fat herpes sore?

- Thomas I'd like to see you
in my office for a moment.

- Me?

- Yes you, your name
is Thomas isn't it?

- So, why do you think I've
called you into my office?

- I'm fired?

- No just the opposite,
you've been doing

remarkably well, and I
just wanted to tell you

to keep up the good work.

- Yeah well, I'm working,
you know, I've been,

I've been trying, I've really
been trying you know that.

- Yes I know and Jack
has taken notice.

As a matter of fact
he wants me to start

working with you a
little more closely.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

- That's great.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah thanks, I've
really been trying.


- Well carry on.

- So this place you're taking
me has great barbecue huh?

- You have to go to the
south side for barbecue,

it's the best.

- I hate this.
- What?

- Did you see them back there?

The way they're
all standing around

wasting taxpayers dollars.

- They're homeless, where
are they supposed to go?

- School, they can get a job.

- These people are
trying to find shelter

and they're supposed to
be able to go to school

and do homework
at the same time?

- Oh come on don't you
think that's a cop out?

- No I don't.

Brandon you know who
your parents were,

you had a role model, these
people have had to rely

on themselves all their lives.

- So what are you saying?

- I'm saying too often
we want to take credit

for how we end up in
life, but say for instance

you had to relive
your life through

one of these peoples
experiences, do you really think

that you'd still be a trader?

- Of course, Valerie
that's the great thing

about living in America,
rich or poor, black or white,

Chinese, whatever,
we all have a chance.

I mean what do you think
Federal Aid is for?

That's why I get so
aggravated every time

it's being wasted on someone.

- Well you just
don't get it do you?

That's what it's supposed
to be like but it's not.

- So as a result I
took him to court,

and they awarded me alimony.

- That's what he gets.

- God damn.

- What did you say?

- I said God damn.

- Look I'd advise you
to look straight ahead

and mind your own business.

- But you're just
sitting there bragging

about that alimony shit
man, pathetic bitch.

- You don't even know
him, I'm sure if you did

you would understand that
she deserves every penny.

- That's fucked up.

- Really, well let's
see what your supervisor

thinks about this.

- I mean that's like
paying for a car

you can't even drive man.

- Just wait I'm sure one
day you will be paying

someone alimony.

- Fuck that, if I
send a bitch a check

she's gonna send me
some pussy in the mail.

- Brothers and sisters,
I've been noticing

a lot of talk going
on about our sisters,

wearing the contact
lenses right.

I just wanted to
shed a little light

on what I think part
of the problem is,

I call them sassy Susies.

She's hanging out
by the pool room,

over on East Ferry Street.

Seems like a likely place to be,

when you're out
to sell your meat,

packaging is so important.

Mini skirts and punk high
heels, she knows your fantasies

by number, the price you
pay to make them real.

Old Sassy Susie
she aint a floosy

if you know what I mean.

Old Sassy Susie she
aint too choosy,

you've got to have the grain.

A blonde girl died
and left her hair

so that Susie could
have more fun,

her neon sign for
a good, good time,

she knows that she's the one.

Her brown eyes turn
blue, in an instant

anything to please her man.

You see she gave up
on herself long ago,

why can't you understand.

It's not a matter of pleasure
when Susie is doing that,

the pleasure's all yours,
it keeps you coming back.

So why you picking on Susie,

when you ought to smack
Jack, life's a bitch

and Susie's a fact.

- That's right,
don't be blaming us,

we're only doing what
y'all want us to do.

- That's right sister.

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

(tires squealing)

- Oh shit, oh God BJ.

BJ, don't go out the game,
don't go out the game.

What about the black man
man, don't go out the game.

Just please, don't go.


* Treat me right,
treat me right *

* Stop killing one another

- [Reporter] In memory of
community leader BJ Brown

slain by a senseless driveby,
this song is for him.

(knocking on door)

- Come in.

- Mr Jackson, I
received your memo.

- Great.

- I'm honored that you
think I could handle

such a position one day.

- Hey you deserve it,
you know I can see you

being VP of this
company one day.

- Well is there anything I
should be concentrating on?

- Well to be honest
with you I thought maybe

we could go out to
dinner, see a show.

- Strictly business?

- Look baby I'm rich, I
can help you get ahead,

I just thought we
could give it a try.

It would be most
beneficial to you.

- Mr Jackson, I do
believe you're stepping

well beyond the bounds
of professionalism here

and I really thought that
you knew me better then that.

- All I know is this
is something I want,

so if I were you I would
put it in my plans.

- Um, Mr Jackson, no
disrespect intended,

but I'm not interested.

- I'm one of the most
powerful men around,

how in the hell could
you not want me?

I'll tell you
what, you're fired,

till you can see things my way.

- But Jack.

- I'm not joking,
get out of here,

and don't come back
until you're ready.

Oh by the way, you can tell
whoever you want about this,

I'll take care of that
too, goodbye Michelle.

- I don't believe you,
what are you looking for?

- Look Brandon is fine,
you know he's fine.


It's just we have
different sensitivities.

- I don't think you've
given it a fair chance.

- Yeah, if we had children
what kind of values

would we teach our children?

- Yours, yours and his.

- No matter how much he loved
me, he could only speculate

on my existence as
an African American.

- You are so confused,
you find a man

10 times better then Thomas
and you start talking

this shit.

- Oh now I wouldn't necessarily
say that he's better

then Thomas, but I will
say that he has had

all the advantages that
this country has to offer.

- I don't know
what you're hiding,

aint nothing back there.

- You know BJ may have
been a lot of things

to a lot of people man,
but to me he's my family D.

See Thomas man I aint
never had no family before,

least none that cared man.

BJ really cared you know.

Now that he's gone nobody
cares, just like it was.

- You know Spoon we all
miss BJ, he was a good man.

But you still got family,
I'm your family man.

I mean I'm here and
I care all right.

Don't forget that bean head.

- All right man.

- Why we stopping?

- Sharon I thought the way
you carried on with Reggie

back there was a
bit disrespectful.

- Don't be jealous over
that, he's your friend.

- 12 records in a row, I
swear if I would have heard

Key Sweat Wine one more
time I would have taken

this pocket book that
you left me holding

and threw it at that damn DJ.

- Oh, he wouldn't stop.

Anyway he's the star, I
wouldn't subject myself

to that kind of life anyway.

- Um, I have to make a phone
call I'll be right back,

I'm gonna use the
pay phone over there.

- What's wrong
with the car phone?

- There's nothing wrong
with the car phone baby

it's just that well you know
the guy that I'm gonna call

he has one of those cheap
cellular phones right

and I read somewhere that if
you call from your car phone

the static could
mess up your phone

and I don't wanna use this
one so don't worry about it,

just relax I'll be
right back okay.

Hello Alex, this is
Luther Van Dross man.

Listen I'm coming
to town next week

and I thought we
might get together.

Yeah man, have some dinner
like old times you know.

So give me a call all right.

Talk to you.

- I just tried to
make a call myself

and it wouldn't work.

- Oh it's probably
some technical thing

you just don't understand.

- No, no, no, my uncle
has the exact same phone

and aren't they all the
same, you dial the number

and then you push send.

- I don't think so, this
one happens to be handmade

from Switzerland, it's
a little different.

(smooth romantic music)

- Mm leopard skin.

(moaning with pleasure)

- You know this little
piggy right here,

she went to Bloomingdales.

While this little
piggy, she was tired

so she stayed at the condo.

- Okay.

- And this little piggy,
she had belugar caviar

and honey.

But this little piggy,
I'm sorry, she had none.

- Oh.

- But do you know what,
this little piggy,

well she cried, oh yeah.

(moaning in pleasure)

- Oh Alex oh.

Alex, I'm not
getting any younger,

I'm looking for something
a little bit more

then just a fling in the sack.

- Come on that's not
what we have here Sharon.

I mean, where, where do
women get this nonsense from

that every time
they're approaching 30

they have to get married.

- Alex, you know as well
as anyone that when a woman

gets older men don't find
her attractive anymore,

you know that.

- That's, that's just
utterly hogwash Sharon.

Listen, just keep
yourself together,

you'll always have a man.

- Bet you can say that
now but I never see you

with any older women, hmm.

- That's because I have never
seen one keep herself together

now if you don't mind I'm
gonna run to the bathroom

and just hit that last
button over there,

the one on the phone there.
- Okay.

- [Miss Burger] Hello
Alex, this is Miss Burger,

you're 60 days past due
on your Megacard account,

can you please mail in
the payment immediately

or we will be forced to
initiate legal proceedings

against you.

(phone beeps)

- [Alex] Hello Alex this
is Luthor Van Dross man.

Listen I'm coming
to town next week

and I thought we
might get together.

Yeah man it will be
like old times you know,

so give me a call all
right, I'll talk to you.

- What the, oh.

Son of a bitch.

(door closing)

- So how does an
ugly brother like you

get a female like that
the other night man?

- Oh you talking about Sharon?

- Oh that's her name, right.

- Yeah, poor girl
she's in love with me.

- Get the fuck out of here.

- No man, I kid you not,

she even wants to
get married Spoony.

But me and you both know that
shit's out of the question.

- Fuck it man.

But did you get
them yams though,

what do you know about that?

- Come on man whenever
you see me with a woman

you know that's going on.

- Yeah man but was it good?

I mean was you like
all in the positions,

you know all up in it.

- I've bang all their
damn brains out.


- Wait a minute, I know
a few of these women.

- 52nd and Woodlong please.

- Yes ma'am.

Wait a minute, you look
kind of familiar sweetheart,

where have I seen you before?

- I don't think you've
seen me anywhere before.

- Oh yeah that's right
you're the females

over at Alex's crib, how
you doing miss feel good?

- Excuse me, what is
that supposed to mean?

- That's what your boy
Alex be calling you.

- And how would he know?

- I don't know,
maybe you feel good.

- Well I don't think he knows.

(phone dialing)

- Alex.

- Who's is this Spoony man?

- What up G?

Chilling, drove the cab today
made my duckets you know that.

- What's going on?

- You know man you got
it going on brother.

Man you ever think I get
the honey's like you man?

- Come on man get
real, that would take

a whole lot of practice.

- Oh man I aint got
nothing but time black man.

Anyway, how you get a female
like Sharon in bed man?

- Oh Sharon, well you
know, it's easy to get

a woman like Sharon in bed.

All you do is you
wine her, dine her,

make her feel important,
next thing you know

she'd be all over you.

I swear to you man she asked
me to go to bed with her.

- Man you's a bad
motherfucker man.

- Hey I'll tell you truth man,

I was fucking that
bitch, next thing I know

she started hollering
and screaming and kicking

on in here, I thought she
was gonna fall out and faint.

- How many times you hit it G?

- You know it's kind
of hard to count man

on the down stroke
but I must have

fucked her about three times.

And she wouldn't
leave me alone man.

I was tired, so I ended
up throwing her dumb ass

on out of here.

- Well you know something
man, I admire you,

I really think you're
a punk motherfucker.

Want to know why?

- What's this we're
talking about?

- What is wrong with your
phony, pretentious ass.

- Wait a minute baby.

- Pay your bills, or send
your haul squirly arse

lying on me like that.

You know good and
damn well I walked out

without giving you
shit since I saw your

phony one for every
occasion business cards

and your $50 bank balance.

Broke bastard.

- That was some cold shit
you put Alex through man.

I mean that was a cold stunt.

- Look man when this
female got in the cab

buses a line, I could tell
he was lying and shit,

I just had to bust him out too.

- You know I just don't
understand why the man

got to put himself
through that shit.

It's just a lot less
confusing if you're at peace

with yourself.

- I tell you it's about
that escapism theory man.

I tell you motherfuckers
always want to escape

their blackness, always want
to escape their self man.

If I was that ugly
motherfucker I'd want

to escape myself too.


- You said Sharon
was in your cab.

What was Sharon doing in a cab?

- Stowaway and driving,
what the fuck do you think

she was doing in the cab man .

- That's cold, that's just cold.

- Man she didn't
even have no money

to pay for the
motherfucking fare,

she owe me now.

She know how I want to
be paid back don't she.

- Yeehaw.

Some strange shit be
happening if you open the cab.

- You don't know
the half of it man.

Just the other day I was
downtown waiting on a fare right

and this motherfucker
walked past the cab

and handed me a note,
you know what it said,

I'll give you $50 if you
let me suck your dick right.

I'm telling you man
I popped out the cab

to see what his
motherfucking problem was man

and I would have
whopped his arse,

if I didn't need
the money so bad.

- Oh man you a
sick, you're sick.

- Check it out, check it out,
check out your boy over there.

Big Al, what up homey.


- Don't be so cruel man.

- Fuck that front man,
tell you always acting

like we aint shit, all the
time he aint shit neither.

Tell you all that lying he
be doing punk motherfucker.

- Hey, wonder where he works?

- I got the cab
round the corner.


Mr black mans wish,
I bet you aint even

a motherfucking manager man.

Hey man maybe we should
go inside you know,

this might be too
embarrassing for him.

- Man it's for his own good.

- Can I help yah?

- Yes, is Alex in?

- Yeah sure I'll
get him for yah.

- Thank you.

- Can you believe this man,
look at this, look at this.

Look at this car here, all
the bullet holes in it.

It look like Al
Capone's car man.

- Oh man, I can't wait
for this lying ass thing

to get his butt out here.

- You go get his ass boy.


- Man you is a messed up
brother with your rich ass.

- Let me guess, you
own the place right.

- Busted.
- Like a cherry.

- Alex lovely suit, lovely,
what'd you do rent it?

- Yeah let's get out of here,
this brother kills me man.

- So I'm out of here.

- If Thomas takes you
back I'm going to get

his head examined for him.

- Mother it's not
like that at all.

Thomas has a lot
of good qualities,

I just didn't see it at first.

I'm really gonna do
my best this time.

- If you're serious and
not running back to Thomas

because you and
Brandon didn't work out

then I'm proud of you.

- I'm really gonna do my
best this time mother,

wish me luck.

- Good luck.

- Bye bye.

(smooth jazz music)

(doorbell ringing)

- Val, what's up?

- You look really great.

- So do you, thanks, what
brings you around the way?

- I just want to talk to you.

- Is something wrong?

- No nothing's wrong,
I was just thinking

about you the other day and
well I've had a lot of time

to think and I just
wanted to apologize

for not being as supportive
as I could have been.

- Hey come on, don't
worry about it,

we both could have done a
lot of things differently.

- I was wondering if maybe
you'd like to go to dinner

tonight, no Curry's or anything.

- Well uh, I'm sort of
seeing somebody you know.

- Thomas, are you ready to go.

* How do you like me now

* Check it out I got a little
story, it goes like this *

* A hard working
brother making peanuts *

* Got enough money but not
enough to do what I want *

* When I want so I'm
in a one bedroom *

* With no head room,
no lights, no heat *

* In other words
I'm kinda cheap *

* Can't afford to
take my lady out *

* Pockets broke, I
gotta borrow money *

* I don't go to work

* My lady got a job downtown
with a whole bunch *

* Of snobs telling her
girl you do not need him *

* 'Cause I don't
make a lot of money *

* But it's funny
when I do work *

* My boss wanna play
me like a jerk *

* To top it off my womans
getting decked out *

* Kicking it to
parties without me *

* I'm hoping she aint
giving the sex out *

* And now I'm living vexed out

* She came home I put her out

* And now her
stereotype is white *

* Or should I say she's
kicking it with anyone *

* Without color, making a
lot more then a brother *

* Finally I realized I was
hurt and can't live life *

* Trying to sleep 'cause
a brother aint working *

* And yeah I feel depressed,
nobody listening *

* And I'm wishing I can
get this off my chest *

* But I can't, meanwhile
I'm trying to stay high *

* But for my ass mess
around and get fired *

* So to make myself
exempt from that *

* I thought of breaking my
back doing work for jack *

* Didn't like it
when I got paid *

* Now I got a dope woman and
my whole damn crib is late *

* My ex-girlfriend
came by to see how *

* I was living I told her foul

* Hey I know you like it

* How you like it

* How you like it

* Can you get with it

* I know you like it

* How you like it

* How you like it

* How you like it

* Now I see exactly what
was wrong with myself *

* I had to get my life and
pull it off the shelf *

* Too many obstacles,
too much trust *

* But I guess nobody
took me serious *

* Enough to put me to the test

* But now I look back
and think oh man *

* I'm glad I didn't let
the economic world *

* Kill another black man

* 'Cause I was going down
like a lot of other *

* Fake frought and knuckle
time ass brothers *

* Didn't have to sell
drugs to make a living *

* Didn't have to smell
looking like I'm happy *

* If I'm eating chicken,
I made it work out *

* For myself, how you like it

* Can you get with it

* Yeah, I know you like it

* How you like it

* Yo I got a question

* Can you get with it

* I know you like it
* How you like it *

* How you like it

* As we continue now when
I be too I see a lot *

* Of brothers making no
progress and making no money *

* But I think I left a job
that can't hold it's own *

* And God bless the grown
mess stuffing on the bone *

* 'Cause every time
you see a black man *

* He's sort of stopping
and if he's living large *

* He's a dope man, or
he's a steady Marvin *

* Now look at my neighborhood

* Today they play the fool,

* A lot of people never
went to college, *

* Some never stay in school

* Because there
was no initiative *

* The guy don't want the
place to be friendly *

* 'Cause aint nobody sensitive

* Sooner or later
you will find out *

* Without the education
or a job you a slob *

* So get yourself together
quit pushing on the clock *

* So I can look
you in your face *