Housewife (1934) - full transcript

Nan Reynolds encourages her copywriter husband Bill to open his own agency. Nearly out of business, he finally gets a client. Former girlfriend Patricia Berkeley writes a very successful commercial for the client and neats up their old romance. Wife and girlfriend struggle over Bill.

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Stir the oatmeal, Jenny.

Stir?

I mean turn, like this.

- Oh, turn.
- That's right.

- Oh, nan?
- Yes, dear?

Come here a minute, will ya?

I don't need to shave
this morning, do I?

Of course you do.

Darling, don't wear that suit
till I have it pressed.

What's the matter with it?

Those trousers look as if
you were going to jump.



Oh, all right.

I'll change into my other suit.

But you're gonna make me late,
you know that, don't you?

Oh, that girl!

It's burnt.

Jenny, I told you a hundred
times

to put enough water
in the double boiler.

Go on, answer that, hurry up.

Good morning, madam.

You know how much gas
you waste every month?

Is that so?

Anywhere from two
to three dollars' worth.

Now, with this little device
you can cut

your gas bills in half.



- Say again, please.
- What is it?

Ah, madam.

You know how much gas
you waste every month?

I don't waste a bit.

Oh, I think you'll find you do.

Now, with this little device...

I'm sorry, but I've tried
all those things

and they don't help a bit.
Believe me, I know.

Excuse me.

But madam, if you'll just
listen to me.

- If you'll listen just a mo...
- No good!

- Breakfast ready?
- Coming right up.

Darling, will you answer that?

I can't, I'm late already.

Jenny, bring the breakfast in,
will you?

Hello?

Yes, this is Mrs. Reynolds.

Oh.

Darling, didn't you send in
the payment

on the washing machine
this month?

No, I didn't.

Tell 'em we'll send it
next month.

Hello, uh, we'll send it
Wednesday, sure.

Yes.

Goodbye.

It's always something.

A hundred and seventy-five
a month

doesn't go very far
these days, does it?

You're telling me, dear.

Where's buddy?

Buddy?
Where is he?

- The cellar.
- In the cellar?

What's he doing there?

Buddy?

Buddy, buddy?

Yes, mother?

What are you doing down there?

Oh, nothing.

Well, come right upstairs
this minute.

Yes, mother.

Oh, I might have known it.

Another stray dog.

Oh, honey, hasn't mother
told you not to drag home

every dog in the neighborhood?

But he was hungry,
and he's a swell dog.

I know, but just the same
you have to put him outside.

Oh, mother, please let me
keep this one.

Come on, nan, why don't you
let him keep this one?

He's not a bad looking mutt.

Please, mama.

Please, mama.

I guess I'm outvoted.

All right, Jenny, give him
that lamb bone.

Now you run along and wash up
before you come to the table.

I already washed
once this morning.

Don't argue, you do
as mother says.

All I do around here is wash.

Come on, mutt.

He's all boy.

You bet he is.

You know, I think every kid
ought to have a dog.

Believe me, I had one, and...

Yes, dear, you told me
all about that.

There's that faucet
in the sink again.

I thought you were
going to fix it.

You didn't bring me any washers.

Oh, darling, I haven't got time
to bother

with these details.

You shouldn't ask me.

You know that I'm busy
at the office all day long.

The house is your job.

Well, I've sent for the plumber.

See, I rubbed it off.

Yes, dear.

Can my dog eat breakfast
with us?

No, you've got all morning
to play with him.

Now let's see what you can
do to this oatmeal.

I'm getting tired of oatmeal.

What are you gonna call
your dog, son?

Well.

He's a special kind of a dog.

Guess I'll call him pedigree.

- Pegigree?
- You mean pedigree.

Maybe I'll just call him Peggy.

He's not exactly that kind
of a dog, but it'll do.

Well, I've gotta rise and shine.

Bye, Sonny.

Probably a bunch of people
waiting for me

at the office right now.
Bye, dear.

- Goodbye, darling.
- Bye.

Plumber, he come.

He would.

Good morning, Mr. Simmons.

That faucet's dripping again.

It's the alkaline in
the water, ma'am,

eats the washers.

I thought only acid ate rubber.

Oh, yes, ma'am, acid
and alkaline both.

Well.

Yoo-hoo!

Well, if it isn't Dora
the favorite sister-in-law.

What are you all dressed up for?

Don't you know it's dollar day?

Come on, get your things on,
we'll go shopping.

Oh, I've got a lot to do.

Tomorrow's Sunday and I've gotta
get the house cleaned up.

Oh, you fuss too much.

Well, I've gotta finish
this cake

and order my groceries.

Wonder what I'll have
for Sunday dinner.

The delicatessen cooks
my Sunday dinner.

George'll eat ham
and potato salad and like it.

Well, anyway, he'll eat it.

I think I'll have a leg of lamb.

That's about the best.

Chicken is so high now
and beef is always so tough.

I tell ya, the worse
you treat a husband

the better they like it.

You have your system
and I have mine.

Anyhow.

Sunday wouldn't be Sunday if we
didn't have a leg of lamb.

That's how it is over
at our house, Mrs. Reynolds.

I always say to the wife
it ain't Sunday

without a good leg of lamb.

Very interesting.

Yeah.

Well, that faucet won't
leak again.

That's what you said
the last time.

This time I'm in deadly earnest.

How much do I owe you?

Two dollars.

Two dollars?

It only took you
a couple of minutes.

Yes, but lady,
just look at the cost

of my preliminary education
and training.

Think of the years that I put in
learning my profession

and getting a reputation.

Bunk.

No, ma'am, it ain't bunk.

Just look at the time I studied
so that I could get good enough

so as to charge two dollars for
just fixing a water faucet.

Now, for instance, say you go
to a good doctor.

Say a kidney specialist.

All right, you win, I'm sold,
charge it.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, goodbye, Mrs. Reynolds.

I hope your leg of lamb
turns out all right.

Thank you.

I made a big mistake.

I should have married a plumber.

Cheer up, you may yet.

Says you.

Gee, I wish I had somebody
to do my dishes.

I told George to wash 'em
before he went

to the office this morning
but he sneaked out on me.

Well, Lincoln might have
freed the slaves,

but he sure didn't do much
for the housewife.

And that's where he showed
good sense.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Dora.

Don't spend all your money
in one place.

I won't.

Jenny, when you're
finished there

put the clothes to soak.

Buddy hasn't got a clean suit.

Buddy.

I guess it broke.

Daddy's new radio.

And we haven't even made
the second payment.

I just wanted to see if
it really had eight tubes.

How do you do?

I'm calling to register voters.

You're Mrs. William Reynolds,
aren't you?

Yes.

I don't believe
you've registered yet.

No, I haven't.

Occupation?

Oh, just a housewife.

Housewife.

Has Mr. Wilson come in yet?

I haven't seen him.

Nah, that's bad, that's bad.

Oh, Mr. Reynolds,
I'm all out of notebooks.

Miss Finch, I wish you wouldn't
bother me with these details.

Just take a quarter from
the petty cash and buy some.

Thank you, Mr. Reynolds.

That'll be all, miss Finch,
that'll be all.

Greetings, boys and girls.

How do you do?

Also, how have you been?

Oh, hi, chief.

George, I suppose you realize

you're a half an hour late
again.

I object, your honor,
it's only 29 minutes.

Seriously, George,
you're putting me on the spot.

Much as I hate to do it

I'm afraid I'll have to
report you.

Go right ahead, pal,
no hard feelings.

I know, George, but after all,

you're nan's brother and I...

And our little white cottages
stand side by side.

Yes, sir.

Well, Reynolds,
my trip to New York

was a howling success.

I landed the Duprey
cosmetic account.

Not bad, eh?

I've gotta hand it to you,
Mr. Blake.

I also grabbed
a stock copywriter.

Patricia Berkeley.

She's been writing
the Duprey copy in New York.

She comes to work on Monday.

Have you got an office for her?

Yes, the little corner office
is vacant.

Little corner office?

What do you think she is,
a clerk?

This woman gets $25,000 a year.

Twenty-five thousand?

Certainly, move Thomas out
of the big office.

You can put him in the corner.

Yes, sir.

Get some new furniture
for her, doll the place up.

- Yes.
- Yes?

Mr. Paul Duprey calling.

Oh, why, send him right in.

What's this?

That's the time sheet.

You'll notice that
some of the boys

have been coming in late again.

For the love of Mike, Reynolds,
don't annoy me

with these petty things,
that's your job.

What do you think I pay you for?

Hello, Paul, how are ya?

- Very well, thanks.
- Wow, glad to see you.

Did you fly or take the train
from New York?

I flew.

Well, sit right there, Paul,

I think you'll find that
comfortable.

- Thank you.
- Smoke?

Yeah, much obliged.

Well, oh.

This is Reynolds,
our office manager.

Mr. Duprey.

How do you do,
Mr. Reynolds?

Well, Paul, I've got a great
advertising campaign

all lined up for this new
skin fluid of yours.

I hope it's great enough
to make a few million women

pay five dollars a jar for it.

Larmes de anges.

Tears of the angels.

It's a magnificent label, Paul.

Confidentially, Paul,
is this stuff any good?

Well, it oughtta be.

It's made of the finest
mutton tallow

the stockyards can produce.

Well, am I fired?

The old man was pretty sore,
but I talked him out of it.

What's the matter, bill,
you look kind of down.

Did Blake bawl you out
about something?

Oh, every time I go in there
he bawls me out.

Hey, listen.

For the last five years I wanted
to take a poke at him.

Why don't you tell him what
he can do with his job?

You think I won't?

I've half a mind
to do it right now.

That's the way to talk.

I'm not afraid of Blake
or a million Blakes.

Reynolds, come in here and
take these Duprey estimates

and step on it.

Yes, Mr. Blake, yes, sir.

Dad.

Oh, hello, Mr. Reynolds.

How was Sunday school?

Fine.

Dad, is Gabriel boss
of all the angels?

Um...

Did your Sunday school teacher
say so?

Yup, that's what she said.

Well, she's right.

He was the head man.

Talking about angels,
where's my dog?

Oh, bill, how about sticking
to one station?

There's nothing good on.

There, that sounds good.

- Remember that?
- Sure.

Our honeymoon.

That Italian orchestra
used to play it.

Remember they had on
funny green suits

with gold braid.

I'll never forget them.

And that cute little
outdoor restaurant

where we used to have wine
with our dinner every night.

Those summer nights.

It was lovely.

The moonlight on the water.

Wasn't it wonderful, bill?

Yeah.

Atlantic city's a swell place.

Yoo-hoo!

Hello, kinfolks.

What do you think?

Let me tell it, woman,
let me tell it.

You know what happened to me?

The most wonderful thing!

Oh, wait a minute,
will you let me tell it?

Well, go on and tell it.

I am telling it.

What's it all about, George?

Folks, you are now gazing upon
the first assistant

radio contact man of
the seagrade advertising agency.

And he's getting a $20 raise.

How wonderful!

Boy, that's a raise,
what I mean.

So I've been late to work
every morning this week, have I?

And you think I was out getting
my hair styled?

The answer is no.

I was out looking
for a better job.

And did I get it?
The answer is yes.

George, that's swell.

It just shows what
the old personality will do.

Come on, we gotta
tell the Johnsons.

- And the drakes.
- We'll be seeing ya.

I can't tell you
how happy I am, George.

Thanks, sis.

Many up.

Twenty dollar raise.

He was making 160 a month.

He'll be making more than I am.

Gee, the luck of some people.

It isn't luck.

It's self confidence and push.

Ah, you've been reading
those success magazines.

I don't have to.

Why, George hasn't got
one tenth your brains.

I don't care if
he is my brother.

But he isn't afraid
to take a chance.

You are.

Well, you haven't had a raise
in five years.

You're getting in a rut.

In a rut?

I got a steady job when there
are millions of guys

pounding the pavement
looking for work.

We're getting along all right.

I know.

But do you think just
getting along is enough?

Oh, just because George
accidentally got a break...

Remember when we were first
married?

The big plans we had.

The home we were going to buy.

Our trip to Europe.

And then there's buddy.

He'll be grown up before
we realize it.

We'll wanna send him to college.

This country is full
of college graduates

and what are they doing?

Selling insurance.

That doesn't prove a thing.

It's the men who take a chance
occasionally

that get ahead.

So you think I'm a flop, eh?

No, I don't, honey,
you know I don't.

Well, you certainly
sound like it.

Dinner is ready.

All right, Jenny.

Come on, honey, let's forget it.

There goes that faucet again.

It's the alkaline,
it eats the washers.

Or so the plumber said.

Leg of lamb again?

Oh, and dripping faucets.

I broke dish.

Excuse, please.

This way, miss Berkeley.

Well, this is your office,
miss Berkeley.

I hope it's satisfactory.

It's a might pretty country
around here.

Glad you like it,
we did our best.

Well, an office
is just an office.

Besides, I won't be in it
very much.

- You...?
- Don't worry.

I get my best ideas
in the bath tub.

Well, if you'd like the office
moved to the bathroom

just let me know.

That is an idea.

Think you've stumbled on
something big there.

Now if there's anything
you want, miss Berkeley,

just call bill Reynolds,
the office manager.

- Bill Reynolds?
- Yeah.

I once knew a boy by that name.

I went to school with him
right here in Chicago.

Well, I didn't know that you'd
been here to Chicago before.

Been here?

Say, I was born and raised
on the south side.

I've tasted Illinois central
cinders

until I escaped to New York
five years ago.

And the rolling stone
rolled home again.

I wonder if it's
the same Reynolds.

He was a senior
and I was a freshman.

Well, what did he look like?

Oh, the big football hero type.

We went to the old
Hyde park high school.

He had all the girls' hearts
going pitter-pat including mine.

He was so awfully good looking.

That lets our Reynolds out.

Yes, my Reynolds is probably
running guns into south America

or hunting emeralds in Siam.

He was one of those men born
to live a glamorous life.

Now, I want you to be quite
at home here, miss Berkeley,

just call me any time
you want to

and don't stand on ceremony.

Thanks, I never do.

Good luck.

Yes?

Is this the office manager?

- Yes.
- This is miss Berkeley.

My office needs some managing.

Will you bring me an ash tray
and a waste basket

and some matches?

Certainly miss Berkeley,
right away.

Come in.

Bill Reynolds.

Ruth.
Ruth Smith.

That's out.

I'm Patricia Berkeley now.

Sounds better for a copywriter.

What?

Ah, you've changed a lot Ruth,
pat, I mean, miss Berkeley.

Kind of gone up in the world,
haven't ya?

Well, I've done all right.

I suddenly found out
I had some brains

and decided to use them.

I uh, I've sent out for
your waste paper basket.

They have nice ash trays
in your shop, haven't they?

Oh, yes, it's a very
efficiently run company.

Thanks.

- Still married to nan?
- You bet I am.

Dying to see her.

She'll be glad to see you, too.

Did you ever get married?

No.

Oh, uh, by the way.

Nan's downtown shopping today.

She's going to have lunch
with me.

You mean she's going to
have lunch with me.

Will she be surprised.

Waiter.

Yes, madam.

This isn't the dressing
I ordered.

But madam, it's salad Maurice
made with citron.

Well, I prefer it made
with Chablis.

Very well, madam,
I am sorry, I'll change it.

I thought it was delicious.

It isn't half as good
as it is at

the canal Sauvage in Paris.

- Cigarette?
- No, thanks.

Eight years can make a lot
of difference,

can't it, pat?

The last time I saw you we just
graduated from high school.

Couple of silly kids.

Silly is right.

And now you're a big success.

Here you are living at
the best hotel in town.

I haven't been to this place
since I was married.

Bill hasn't exactly set
the world on fire, has he?

Oh, he isn't doing so badly
for these times.

At least we're not in debt much.

You were always
a good sport, nan.

It isn't that.

I happen to be in love
with bill.

I understand that.

I was, too, once.

Is that why you went
to New York?

Because I married bill?

Of course.

I often wondered about that.

Well, I wasn't going to carry
the torch around here

so I shipped my burning heart
to New York and,

well, I carved a career
for myself.

To put the fire out.

And I have to shop
in bargain basements.

You're happy, aren't you?

Very.

And you?

No kicks, no complaints.

So she thinks I'm getting fat,
huh?

She's right.

What do you mean?

Look at that
bay window starting.

You can hardly see it.

Why don't you take
some exercise?

Oh, darling, after a hard day
at the office, you know,

with everything on my shoulders
I certainly don't feel

very energetic.

No, I guess not.

It's a shame, too.

Pat and I were talking today
about what a grand

football player you used to be.

Oh, I'm getting sick and tired
of hearing about what pat said.

This is great stuff.

Where'd you get that?

Pat treated me to a jar
this afternoon, shopping.

Wasn't it sweet of her?

Oh, the darn stuff
is a fake anyhow.

I'm in a position to know.

Why, bill, it couldn't be,
they charge five dollars a jar.

You've been reading
the ads again.

They wouldn't dare
charge that much

if it wasn't any good.

You're just like all
the rest of the women.

Just because a thing costs
a lot of money

you think it oughtta be good.

And if that's true why not
charge ten dollars a jar?

Ten dollars?

Say, darling,
that's a great idea.

I think I'll tell Blake
about it in the morning.

Oh, there's that faucet again.

Come in.

Oh, pardon me, you're busy.

Come on in, bill,
we're almost through.

You caught the idea
perfectly, miss Berkeley.

This is just what we want.

What is it, Reynolds?

Well, you see, Mr. Blake,

I thought of a great idea
last night

and I'm sure you can use it.

If women will pay five dollars
a jar for Duprey's cream

why won't they pay ten dollars?

Say, what's the matter
with you, Reynolds?

Are you drunk?

Oh, no, now wait a minute,
Mr. Blake, here's the angle.

Go right on charging five
dollars for the original stuff.

That's exactly what Duprey
intends to do.

Right, but it was my idea
to have two kinds.

Single and double strength.

Put different labels
on the double strength

and charge ten for it.

Reynolds, you stick to your job,
mind your papers and pencils

and we'll mind the ideas.

Go away, I'm busy.

Just another clerk who thinks
he's an executive.

Mr. Reynolds,
you're not leaving?

Why not?

It's only 4:30.

You're leaving early,
ain't you, Mr. Reynolds?

Yeah.

You don't generally leave
till 5:30

and I hope you ain't sick.

I'm sick about a lot of things.

Listen, darling.

I wanted you to get this mad
for a long time.

You've gotta take
that big step sometime,

what's the matter
with right now?

What big step?

Quit that job,
start in for yourself.

You know all about
the advertising business.

And it takes more than brains
to run an advertising agency.

- A little nerve.
- Yes, and plenty of money.

Why darling,
where did you get all that?

Seventeen hundred
and forty-two dollars.

And 39 cents.

The reward of five years
shopping in bargain basements

and roast leg of lamb on Sunday.

Darling, you're wonderful.

What do you say?

This will last us for six months

and by that time if we flop,
well, we've been broke before.

Boy, I certainly like to show
that guy, Blake.

You and me both.

- Well?
- It's a bet.

Now you're talking.

Good morning, Mrs. Reynolds

good morning, miss Martin.
Is Mr. Reynolds busy?

Busy?
He must be worn out.

He's been arguing with
that Krueger fellow

an hour and a half.

Oh, dear, and I wanted
to see him.

Mr. Krueger, I promise you,
no, I guarantee you,

that the Krueger pork sausage
will become a household word

from the rock bottom coast
of Maine

to the sunny shores of
California.

Yeah, I know, promises,
guarantees,

guarantees, promises,

that's the way Blake used to
always talk.

But it isn't talk with us,
Mr. Krueger.

We actually get results.

Oh, come on, Mr. Krueger,
give us a chance to prove it.

Here.

Have another cigar,
Mr. Krueger.

I'm afraid I get indigestion.

That's five already.

Well, what do you say,
Mr. Krueger?

Well, I wish I wouldn't smoke
so many of your cigars.

Then I could say "no" easier.

Now, Mr. Krueger,
you're an intelligent man.

That I admit.

And you make the best
pork sausages in the country.

There's an inspiration
in your product.

Great music inspires violinists.

Beautiful sunsets
inspire painters.

And the Krueger pork sausage
company

would be an everlasting
inspiration

to the William H. Reynolds
company to do something fine.

Something outstanding.

Something that will inspire
125 million citizens

of this country to become
pork sausage conscious.

Say, pork sausage ain't got
no conscience.

And why should the fiddle player
perspire in the sun...

That's the great problem with
all you advertisement fellas.

A lot of talk,
expense, but no results.

This is Mr. Reynolds, speaking.

Who?

The Schnitzer sausage company?

It's me, bill, nan,
don't you understand?

Talk to me as though I were
a rival sausage account.

Pretend I'm Mr. Schnitzer.

Oh, hello, Mr. Schnitzer.

Oh, you want an appointment.

Well, uh, I'm afraid
I'm very busy right now,

but I think I could manage to
give you a few minutes

say uh, tomorrow at four.

Schnitzer, say, listen.

Now don't have nothing
to do with Schnitzer.

Don't even let him come
into your office.

He wants to spend
$50,000 advertising.

He wants to spend,
you needn't be sure.

You know what he puts
in his sausages?

It's irrelevant.

No, he don't use that.

But he does put in
the scum of the earth.

Hello?

Mr. Schnitzer, I think
I'll have to call you back.

I'm, I'm too busy to talk to you
right now, yeah.

He wants to advertise.

He wants to steal away
my business from me,

that's what it is.

All right, I'll show him
how to advertise.

That's great, that's swell.

That is, of course,
if you wouldn't mind taking

such a small account like mine.

Mr. Krueger, it may be small
right now,

but remember, that great oaks
from little acorns grow.

That's fine, that sounds
like poetry, yeah?

Maybe we can use that.

Why not?

Great aches on little corns
grow.

Great corns grow on...

What is that you said again?

Great oaks
from little acorns grow.

I'll have those contracts
ready for you

in the morning, Mr. Krueger.

Send them over to my office.

Yeah.
You know my address.

Yes.

Oh, here, take this to smoke
on your way home.

I don't think I ought
to take it, but I will.

Oh, I beg your pardon,
that's broken.

- Here, take this one.
- Oh, thank you.

Say, Reynolds,
give the broken one

to Schnitzer.

Did it work?

- I'm wringing wet.
- Boy, what a session.

He wouldn't sign?

What do you mean
he wouldn't sign?

I had to give him both barrels,
but he's in the bag.

Our fist account.

Put it there.

Congratulations, partner.

Oh, miss Martin, make a note
of this before I forget it.

Great oaks from
little acorns grow.

It looks all right.

Sure.

What good does it do?

Don't be discouraged, bill,
we're just starting.

Starting?

In business six months and
just one little measly account?

I know.

But Rome wasn't built in a day.

Yeah.

With all the bills we owe
how can I help

but be discouraged?

Ah, what's the use
of kidding ourselves?

The Reynolds advertising agency
is headed for the last roundup.

Seems a shame.

After the swell start we had.

Wonder if Blake would give me
back my old job?

You can't do that, bill!

I won't let you!

As a matter of fact I was
thinking about going down there

this afternoon and
sound him out,

but Duprey's in town,
you can't get near Blake.

- Duprey?
- Mm.

Say, how long has his contract
with Blake got to run?

Oh, it expires sometime
this month, I think.

Why?

Bill Reynolds,
there's no reason in this world

why you can't get that account.

The Duprey cosmetic account?

Sure, why not?

Do you realize that they spend
a million dollars a year

advertising?

And a five percent agency
commission is 50,000.

The Reynolds family could buy
an awful lot of groceries.

Yeah.

There's isn't
a Chinaman's chance.

Blake is bound to set 'em up
on a long term contract.

What's the idea?

I just feel like having a drink.

Want one?

Darling, you never drink unless
we're at a party or something.

Maybe this is something.

I'm going right over the hotel
and put salt on his tail.

You know what I'd tell him
if it was me?

What?

You're him, see?

And I'm you.

Yeah, that's right,
that's right.

Strong, see?

"Look here, Duprey.

"If women'll pay five dollars
a jar for larmes des anges,

"they'll pay ten.

"All depends on the way
your advertising is.

"Women think it's good because
you charge five dollars.

"But if you charge ten dollars,

"they'll think
it's twice as good."

That's what I'd tell him.

Well, you don't have to tell me
what to tell him,

I know what to tell him.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Then I'd say, "Duprey,
you're a fool to let Blake

"keep your account.

"Why, he hasn't had
an original idea

"since Taft was president."

Don't worry, I'll tell
that fella plenty.

And don't forget, you see him,

see him if you have to
break the door down.

Listen, I'll break every door
in the place

if I don't see him.

And don't forget, tell him.

Listen, this is important,
I got to see him.

I told you, sir.

Mr. Duprey is not in.

Quit stalling, go on,
ring his room, ring his room.

Mr. Duprey.

I got a great idea for you.

I beg your pardon?

I'm Reynolds of the
William H. Reynolds company,

advertising counsel.

Well, you see Samuel Blake,
he handles all my advertising.

That's what's
the trouble with it.

Mr. Duprey, I got a marvelous
idea for you.

Don't bother me.

It'll only take me a minute
to tell you.

Why, I can double your business
if you just give me a chance.

Taxi, taxi!

Follow that car and don't
spare the horses.

Mr. Duprey.

Mr. Duprey.

If you'll just give me
a few minute of your time.

Will you stop bothering me!

Please, Mr. Duprey.

How did you get in here?

Two dollars looks awfully big
to a chamber maid.

I'll give you ten dollars
to get out of here

and stop pestering me.

Duprey, you're a fool.

I beg your pardon.

You let Blake
handle your business.

Half the time he doesn't know
what day it is.

He hasn't had an original idea
since Taft was president.

I've been suspecting that
myself for some time.

I don't suspect, I know.

It takes his whole big
organization

to rectify silly mistakes.

I oughtta know, I used to belong
to the organization.

- I think I know now why
- you got fired.

Who got fired?
- I resigned.

Oh.

To open my own agency and
put Blake out of business.

And speaking of business
how would you like

to double your profits?

- I don't think I'd mind.
- All right.

Now you charge five dollars
a jar for larmes des anges.

Go right on doing it.

But put out another jar,
Mark it double strength

and put on a different label
and charge ten dollars.

And with a smart advertising
campaign you can't miss.

Hm.

You know, that's just
crazy enough to work.

- Could you do with a drink?
- I could do miracles.

Bill, what happened?

I've met the enemy
and he is mine.

You really got to talk to him?

Talk to him?

Say, listen, Paul and I
are buddies.

He's the best friend
I got in the world.

What?

I'm telling you, I signed him
to a two year contract.

Oh, darling, that's marvelous,
that's wonderful!

But he wouldn't sign unless
I got pat Berkeley

to write his copy.

So I went over to her place
and got her out of bed

and I signed her to a contract.

You didn't!

Honestly?

Well, I don't know
how honest it is, but I got her.

And I'm paying her $100 a week
more than Blake paid her.

Oh, boy, wait till Blake
finds out.

Yeah, hope he does,
I hope he does.

And the sooner the better.

And I hope he gets tough
because I'd like

to punch him right in the nose.

Oh, by the way, dear.

I stopped by next door
and I hired George

as our office manager.

You know, honey?

I just discovered tonight
what's been the matter with me

for years.

What?

I don't drink enough.

Mr. Reynolds is in conference.

But I came all the way from
Seattle for this appointment.

I'll inform you
when you can see him.

I've been waiting over an hour
for Mr. Reynolds.

Well, I'm not gonna
wait an hour.

If I can't see him now
there's plenty of other

advertising agencies in town.

I'll see what can be done.

Mr. Wilson?

Yes, they're pressed for time.

But they're in a rush.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Hold them here
and I'll be right out.

You can't go in there now.

Good ol' George.

The boss' watchdog.

No, no, no, no, I'm serious.

He's up to his ears in
the big conference.

Tell him to pull his ears in.

Not another minute.

Gentlemen.

An apology's noted plus
a little explanation.

You see, Mr. Reynolds
unexpectedly,

very unexpectedly
received a visit from

his board of directors.

Big things are
going on in there.

Oh.

Don't worry about it, Paul,
I'm sure you're gonna like it.

Hello, darling,
I thought you'd gone.

I'll see you to the car.

Oh, nevermind, darling,
I know you're terribly busy.

Well, allow me,
I'm going anyway.

Oh, thanks.

We'll get together
in a day or so.

- Goodbye, darling.
- See you tonight, dear.

Bill, there's a couple of
cash cows waiting outside there

and miss Berkeley wants
to see ya.

Well, stall the customers
a little longer.

I'll see miss Berkeley first.

Say, you're harder to get to
than the president.

I've been trying to crash
your gate all morning.

Sorry, I was tied up.

What do you think of it?

I think "discriminating" would
be a better word here

than "particular".

You're right.

The change is amazing.

Only changed one word.

Oh, I don't mean that.

I mean you.

The last few months.

This is a very interesting
layout.

What's funny?

Oh, everything.

I was just thinking what a crush
I used to have on you.

When I was a freshman
in pinafores

and you were a football star.

You've done a little
changing yourself.

When we went to school...

Go on, bill, say it.

I was a freckle-faced brat
in 98 cent dresses

and cotton stockings.

Say, what'd you ever do
about those freckles?

Made 'em vanish
with larmes des anges.

Bet that dress didn't cost
98 cents.

Oh, these models start
at $1.15.

And those cotton stockings?

Gone the way of all flesh.

Only her fairy prince didn't
turn out to be

an advertising man.

Say, pat, uh, why can't
we have lunch...

Come in.

Say, chief, those two guys
are still waiting.

One of them is from Seattle.

He's gonna put on his
roller skates and start back.

All right.

Later we'll have to have another
little conference about this.

Whatever you say, Mr. Reynolds.

Okay.

My, my, my.

Is this a ducky house
or is it a ducky house?

I'm glad you like it, Dora.

And the furniture
is scrumptious.

Perfect.

Except that table.

There, that's the way
it ought to be.

I used to study
interior decorating.

- By mail.
- I remember.

You used to borrow stamps
to mail in your lessons.

- That's right!
- Oh, Bolton.

- Yes, madam?
- You may serve tea now.

Yes, madam.

Why don't you make him wear
those cute knee pants?

Oh, Dora.

You and George won't
disappoint us Friday night

for the big house warming?

A house warming?

Try and keep us away.

That's buddy.

Great Lakes military academy.

Hm.

What a long tail our cat has.

It's dreadfully expensive and
a lot of nonsense, I think.

But you know how bill is
about buddy.

Even the best isn't good enough.

Mom home?

Your mother is in
the living room, sir.

Ah, Bolton, cut the sir.

Just call me buddy.

Yes, sir.

Bolton, you're too polite
to be human.

Yes, sir.

Hello, darling.

How's my big boy?

Say, mom.

Aren't you gonna kiss
your aunt Dora?

Aw...

Daddy home?

Not yet.

He's coming home for dinner,
isn't he?

You know daddy works
every Wednesday night.

Last night wasn't Wednesday
and he had to work.

Well, that just happened.

Aw mother, daddy's always
at that office.

Run along and get dressed
for dinner.

Oh, all right.

Goodbye, aunt Dora.

Goodbye.

Always at the office, huh?

The minute they get a bankroll
they're all alike.

You poor darling.

Don't be foolish, Dora.

Being the boss isn't like
working for a salary, you know.

You can't watch the clock
when you're responsible

for everything.

Big business doesn't run itself.

I'm gonna give you
some advice, nan.

When they start pulling
the night work gag,

they're up to something.

Bill isn't like that.

They're all that way.

Working day and night.

The same old alibis.

Believe me,
I know all the answers.

I'm afraid you've just got
a suspicious nature, Dora.

Yeah, backed up by years
of sad experience.

Listen, Dora, this is all
very silly.

Bill hasn't the time,
the energy,

nor the inclination
to be playing around.

Have another cup of tea.

My fine Japanese instinct
tells me you're a prize sap.

I'd love another cup of tea.

Isn't this better
than sandwiches and coffee

at the office?

If I said "no" I'd be
an awful liar.

What's the matter, mother?

Oh, nothing.

Eat your carrots, dear.

Can I phone daddy after dinner?

I wouldn't bother daddy
at the office, darling.

Eat your carrots, now,
they'll make you big and strong.

I don't like carrots.

But I'll eat 'em.

The right way to top off
a perfect dinner.

Napoleon Brandy.

Real thing.

If Napoleon drank that stuff
the waiter served us last night

no wonder he lost the battle
of Waterloo.

Last night.

And now tonight.

It's getting to be a habit.

A nice one, if you ask me.

Sure, but uh, that old devil
conscience

is knocking at my door.

Tell him nobody home.

Yeah, he keeps
right on knocking.

Well, if it's that serious
you run right along home to ma.

Oh, now don't take
that attitude, pat.

After this we work
at the office.

I didn't mean it that way.

You don't have to apologize
to me.

I know you like a book.

It's just that I happen...

You just happen to be provincial
and I'm not.

I believe every man's
an individual.

The fact you're married
shouldn't interfere

with your friendships, come on.

Come on, little boy.

Well, there's no argument.

I agree with you 100%.

You didn't say that
a minute ago.

Pat.

I can't tell you what
these last few months

have meant to me.

I consider our friendship
one of the finest things

that's ever come in to my life.

Do you, bill?

You know I do.

Get better results, bill,
if you put the sugar in

before you stir it.

Was pat at the office
last night, too?

What prompted that remark?

Just routine feminine curiosity.

Say, what is this,
a cross examination?

If it is, the defendant is
certainly acting guilty.

You weren't at the office,
were you, bill?

You were out with pat.

Well, suppose I was.

Is that a crime?

Can't a man have any friends
just because he

happens to be married?

There's no such a thing
as friendship

between a married man
and a woman like pat.

Oh, you're just
an old fashioned housewife.

Listen.

This is an age of individuality
and it's about time

you were finding it out.

I am finding it out, bill.

I am.

Being taken care of,
Mr. Krueger?

Everything is wonderful.

You don't gotta take care of me,
I'm getting a fine time

- at your party.
- Good.

How about a cigar?

I've got a special brand
made up for me in Cuba.

I can hardly wait to try it.

Bolton, some cigars, please.

Thank you.

Smells like [speaking Spanish].

Smells like a good cigar.

I'm glad you like it.

I like your party.

That all you got to tell me?

I could tell you something else.

Cigarettes?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's what I want,
one of those pancakes.

Pancakes, George,
I'm ashamed of you.

You're insulting the finest
crepes Suzette

I've ever tasted.

Crepes Suzette?

It's nothing but
a fancy pancake.

What are you kicking me for?

Was that you?

Oh, pardon me.

This better be good.

Won't you have one, Paul?

No thanks, no I've had
four already.

Mom?

Mom?

Her master's voice.

Darling, what are you
doing down here?

Mom, I can't sleep.

Well, I don't think anyone
could sleep

with all this noise.

You'll catch cold, darling.

Now run upstairs to bed, quick.

Come on, tuck me in.

Be a good sport.

All right, darling.

May I come, too?

Why, yes, if you like.

Where did you get that bun?

It's not a bun, it's a pancake.

Pretty swell world tonight,
isn't it?

That's a boy.

There now, go to sleep.

I'll change this
for something to eat.

What?

And have you screaming with
the collywobbles all night?

Forget it, young man.

Goodnight, dear.

Goodnight, mom.

Goodnight, Mr. Duprey.

Hope you have a good time.

Thanks, goodnight, old chap.

We'll see they keep quiet
so that you can get some sleep.

Goodnight.

You know, I've been a bachelor
all my life,

born and brought up in hotels.

This is the first time
I've ever regretted it.

Very interesting.

We'll have to see if we can't
find you some nice girl.

I have found her already.

Really?

Uhhuh.

Yes, I found her.

But I'm just a trifle late.

Shall we go downstairs?

Ah, let me think, let me...

Oh, yes.

And if you can give us
the proper discount

you can consider this an order
for a half dozen bottles

of black ink.

Got that, Rosabelle?

Yes, Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson speaking.

This is Joe Stevens over at wql.

The rehearsal of
Duprey program's going on

in 15 minutes.

We thought Mr. Reynolds was
coming over to hear it.

I thought that rehearsal was
set for tonight.

Well, that's the final rehearsal
for Mr. Duprey.

We always like to get
the agency's okay

before the sponsor hears it.

You're right, old man,
absolutely right.

Hang on a second.

Is the boss back yet?

No, Mr. Wilson,
he's still out to lunch.

Four-thirty he's still
out to lunch.

This is delightful.

Mr. Reynolds is out
of the office just now

attending a big conference.

Oh, very important.

Oh, I couldn't
disturb him there.

I'll do my best.

Gee, the rehearsal goes on
in 15 minutes

and it's plenty important.

Somebody oughtta hear it
before Duprey does.

Why don't you go,
Mr. Wilson?

You're awfully good
at those things.

You're right, Rosabelle.

As long as we can't
find the boss

I might as well do
the dirty work.

Harry, have you seen the boss?

No, I haven't.

Heard him tell his secretaries
he went out to lunch

and he'd be tied up
most of the afternoon.

I hope this broadcast is
going to be as good

as bill thinks it is.

I hope so, too.

George.

You sure this program's
going to be all right?

Don't worry, bill,
it's a knockout,

it'll keep ya in stitches.

You better be right.

I haven't even heard
the darn thing.

We're all ready,
Mr. Duprey.

Go right ahead.

Good evening, folks.

This is the voice of
the Duprey cosmetic hour.

Have you got wrinkles
in your face?

Duprey puts those wrinkles
where your best friends

can't find 'em.

If your skin isn't as smooth
as a billiard ball,

run, don't walk, for a jar
of larmes des anges,

the magic skin fluid.

I don't know if I'm sayin'
it right, folks,

but it's great stuff
no matter how you pronounce it.

And now we will give
you music lovers a treat.

First you will hear the
golden voiced crooning fool,

Mike Hathaway, former star
of the Ajax brassiere hour,

who will sing the regular
Duprey cosmetics song.

And here he is.

If your skin has got the hue

of a plate of oyster stew

darling, use cosmetics

by Duprey

and if the rings
around your eyes

are as big as apple pies

sweetheart, use cosmetics

by Duprey

and if the hair on your head

is not so wavy

just give three cheers

for the army and the Navy

and if your lips

are dry as Clay

fly the Duprey flag and say

anchors aweigh

and use cosmetics

by Duprey

now folks, here's Rastus
and sambo,

thos inevitable comedians,

purveyors of Dixie jokes.

Give till it hurts, boys.

Hey, Rastus.

Who is that lady
I seen you with last night?

Lady?

That was no lady,
that was a female impersonator.

Boy, you slay me.

You posolutely kill me.

Say, Sambo, I see you all been

chopping up your razor lately.

Why, that was no razor.

No?

It's too awful.

Now, wait a minute, Paul.

It may not be very artistic,
but it's the kind of thing

that'll sell your product.

Well, I don't know about that,

but I do know I'd much rather
not listen to it.

Paul this is only a rehearsal.

It isn't too late
to make some changes.

It's impossible.

Now, Paul, why don't we go
out to the house

and talk this over?

I don't think so, nan,
I'm sorry, but I'm tired.

I think I'll get a little supper
and go to bed.

We'll all have supper
at our house.

How about it?

Well, it's rather late.

It's never too late
for crepes suzettes.

I'll make some.

Does that sound tempting?

Well, your crepes suzettes
would tempt anyone.

Oh, come on,
we'll be home in a jiffy.

All right.

I need something to take
the taste of that broadcast

out of my mouth.

I'll have you purring
like a cat.

Come on, pat.

You know, Paul, your cosmetics
are a luxury product.

They lend themselves
to a romantic program.

Don't you agree?

I'd agree to almost anything
after that magnificent food.

No, seriously.

Maybe this program could have
a parisienne atmosphere.

A string orchestra playing
a French serenade.

The feeling of the boulevards
in springtime.

And perhaps a few little
characteristic sketches.

Why not?

We could take our audience
to the champs elysees,

the Ritz bar, and longchamp.

That's it.

Yes, you know,
that might be fine.

And afterwards we might
use the riviera, nice,

- and Monte Carlo.
- Lovely!

You know, that's a very good
idea.

What do you think of it, bill?

Won't you have another
cup of coffee, Paul?

No thanks, no thanks.

One-thirty, I must be going.

- I'm sorry.
- So am I.

Excuse me.

How about it, pat?

Can I give you a lift?

Why, yes, certainly.

I'll help you with
your things, pat.

Thanks, nan.

It's too bad you weren't
listening, bill.

I was discussing that
radio program with your wife.

She's got some very
interesting angles.

I'll drop into your office
tomorrow and talk it over.

Fine.

Nan's a pretty clever girl.

Yeah.

Perhaps the cleverest member
of your family.

I suppose you think
you're in love with bill.

Nan, have you any darker powder?

Oh, I'm sorry.

See if that'll do.

Thanks.

You were saying?

Oh.

Yes.

Bill and I love each other
very much.

What usually happens
in these cases.

Sometimes the wife gets stubborn
and puts up a fight.

Then again, she accepts
the inevitable.

If she's smart.

You know, pat, most men
lose their heads

when they get too much money.

It's like a bad dream.

And they always wake up
in the morning

with a very bad hangover.

Sorry, nan.

If anyone's dreaming
it must be you.

I'm afraid that's a question
that you and I

can never decide.

Such a wide difference
of opinion.

Well, let's leave it at that.

See what happens.

We'll see.

There.

- I'm ready now.
- So am I.

Here we are, Paul.

- 'Night, darling.
- See you tomorrow.

Goodnight, nan.

Thanks so much for
a charming evening.

Goodnight.

And now the first Duprey hour
comes to an end.

Next week we will take you to
the Ritz bar in Paris.

Au revoir till next Thursday.

Well, that's more like it.

Sell Duprey,
which is the main thing.

You know, when he heard
that last rehearsal

he was grinning from ear to ear.

It's one for the book.

Believe it or not it's
the first radio contract

that was ever saved
with crepes suzettes.

And the Paris angle
was a happy thought.

Nan's a very smart girl.

Yes, she has improved
a great deal in the last year.

I'm terribly fond of her.

You know, you're very
understanding, pat.

Why can't more women
be like you?

Well, here's to the third angle
of our happy little triangle.

Bill.

What about nan?

Well, there's no hurry,
is there dear?

You've been promising to
tell her for weeks.

Why don't you get it
over with tonight?

I was wondering.

I thought perhaps tomorrow...

Bill, it's like diving
into cold water.

The quicker you take the plunge,

the sooner you recover
from the shock.

You're right.

I know I am.

I'll let you know what happens.

If you don't phone me
I'll call you.

- All right, bye-bye.
- Bye.

I've seen this coming.

I've had a lot of time
to think it over.

You're just wasting
your breath, bill.

I won't do it.

Why, it's ridiculous
our going on like this.

We're not married
and we're not divorced.

We've been married
for a long time

and we're going to
stay that way.

We started from nowhere.

Had a lot of tough sledding.

And through all that
we loved each other.

Now that you're successful
you wanna throw me over

for the first good looking woman
you think you're in love with.

I don't think, I know.

Now why can't we
talk about this calmly?

Why do you have to cry?

I can't help crying.

About someone that you've
laughed with so much.

Let's don't get sentimental.

Doesn't pat ever
get sentimental?

Oh, I think we better
leave her out of this.

I wish we could.

But she's trying to destroy
something that belongs

to you and me and I'm not
going to let her do it.

Quite a while ago I told
a minister

I was taking you for better
or for worse.

And for plenty of those years
things couldn't

have been much worse.

And now that they're better
I'm not going to let

a chisel like her step in.

I see no necessity for you
talking that way about pat.

She certainly doesn't talk
that way about you.

Why should she?

I'm not trying to
break up her home.

This isn't getting us anywhere.

- Either you divorce me...
- No, absolutely no.

I'm surprised at you.

Trying to hang on to a man
that wants to leave you.

Haven't you got any pride?

Daddy!

Hey, wait a minute!

I haven't seen you
since last Sunday.

Stop!

Where are you going?

Buddy!

Buddy, darling!

Sweetheart!

Oh...

Oh, my darling.

Get a doctor, get a doctor!

Thank you.

Well?

Buddy'll pull through,
all right.

But it'll take a long time.

Nan.

You understand that everything
I said downstairs,

I mean about the divorce,
is off.

You were willing to leave me
before this happened

to buddy, weren't you?

It is not me you want,
it's buddy.

You can see him as often
and as much as you please

after we're divorced.

I find, bill, that after all,
I have got some pride.

Nan, darling, please.

Hello.

Is Mr. Reynolds there?

He'll be right over, pat.

Mr. Duprey to see you, madam.

Oh, bring him out here, Bolton.

How are you, Paul?

Always the same.

- How's buddy?
- Just fine.

He started back to school
this morning.

Oh, that's great.

May I have one?

Why not?

Have you seen anything
of bill lately?

No, not since he moved
to the club.

Won't you sit down?

Thanks.

Your divorce comes up
next month, doesn't it?

No backing out, hm?

No.

Nan, I'm afraid this is
a little premature

and not quite according
to the rules.

But I'm terribly
in love with you.

I do wish you'd marry me.

Paul, you're sweet.

You haven't answered me.

It's too soon.

My mind is so confused
and I can't think straight.

- When it's all over...
- There's no hurry.

And at least you
haven't said "no".

Is it true that the actions
of the defendant

during this period caused you
great mental anguish?

It is.

Is it also true that
the defendant

on a number of occasions
spoke sharply to you?

Yes, your honor.

And according to the complaint
this made you extremely nervous.

Well, it did and it didn't.

You see, judge, I'm inclined
to be nervous at times anyway.

No wonder.

After the way I treated her.

And here you say that
the defendant became

extremely irritable and morose.

I certainly did.

Well, anyone can become
irritable temporarily, bill.

But I had no right
to treat you that way.

I object, your honor.

I'm sorry, your honor.

But my client is unaccustomed
to court procedure.

If you'll answer
these questions properly

we'll go on with the case.

Did the defendant become
irritable and morose?

Well, judge, at times
he acted sort of,

sort of like a bad child.

But most men are childish
at times.

Darling, please, let's call
the whole thing off.

I object, your honor.

I object, too, your honor.

Well, this is the most
preposterous

and undignified case
I have ever tried.

We've got 3,699 divorce cases
on our calendar

and you people
are wasting my time.

Call the next case.

Be a good fellow, Paul
and take me to dinner?

Why not?

I'm gonna drink my dinner.

Straight.

I'll always be two courses
ahead of you.

Sort of a consolation
for the losers.

Mhmm.

Is mother home?

We don't wanna buy anything.

- We've got everything.
- What is it, dear?

I would like to speak to
Mrs. William H. Reynolds.

I'm Mrs. Reynolds.

I'm calling to register voters.

I don't believe you registered.

No, I haven't, at least not
in this precinct.

- Won't you come in?
- Oh, thank you.

Sit down.

Run along, sweetheart.

That's Mrs. William H. Reynolds.

Yes.

Look all right, darling?

You'll do.

Occupation?

- Just a housewife.
- And what a housewife.