House of Luk (2001) - full transcript

Three lives are about to change...three fortunes are about to unfold...three cookies are about to be eaten... House of Luk is more than just a Chinese Restaurant. It's where people talk about their problems, fall in love and learn about life. Follow the comic mis-adventures of three men as they figure out what it means to eat at the House of Luk. Marshall Cotton, is a balding, middle-aged down-and-out salesman who's always selling the wrong thing-including his ex-wife! Ho Fook Lao is a bumbling Feng Shui Consultant whose life is in constant dis-harmony, until he meets the woman of this dreams. Problem is, she's a lesbian. Chuck Warden is a building contractor who lives with his silent mother and emotionally distant son. Desperate to bring harmony into his home he discovers a very special way of reaching out to his family and communicating the love he feels for them. Lording over them all is Kwang Luk, the restaurant's Buddha-like proprietor who gives Marshall, Ho Fook and Chuck each a fortune cookie with a cryptic message. Is their luk about to change?

You know, that's a very good
question. A lot of people ask me that:

how you stay in
business thirty-five years?

After all, All You Can Eat
places springing up everywhere.

How you stay alive?

Answer is regular customers.

We get all kinds of
people come in here.

After awhile,
you get to know them.

One man a salesman, always in here,
always having problems...

It's not me. It's the product.

You've got to have
the right product.

I'll tell you a story.

This was a while back,
we'd been married a year,

maybe two... before
the kid anyway.

I get this phone
call from this guy,

he's selling oriental rugs.

O.K. I've got to get an
anniversary present you know

the last thing I'm thinking
about is an oriental rug.

I'm thinking a ring,
a trip somewhere...

But the way this guy described
this rug... I had to have it.

And we had
wall-to-wall carpeting.

I ran over to the guy's
shop - saw the rug.

Then I saw the guy.

He was blind.

A blind man,
selling these rugs over the phone.

Wow, I thought... that's a guy who
believes in the product.

Another man,
very friendly but very, very lonely...

One time I hired these
Portuguese plasterers.

I'm visiting the site
and there they are,

all gathered around
the port-a-Johnny

going, "Oohh, aahh!"

What gives?

I go over, and they're all saying,
"Look! Look!"

Inside there's this guy, Manny.

You know what he's doing?
You know what the big deal is?

He's showing these
guys his underwear.

Claims there's this skid mark
inside looks just like Jesus Christ.

I laugh, I forget about it...

Next time I'm on the site,
there's Manny again,

and this time
he's all depressed.

Had a fight with his wife.

Know why he was mad at her?

She rinsed out his underwear.

You know what she did,
he says to me.

She created a Godless universe.

that's how I feel these days.

I feel like a guy going
around with clean underwear.

young man who practices Feng Shui,

Oriental art of room design.

Funny thing is,
his life big mess...

Okay, this guy, he call me up.

Very depressed gentlemen.

Just move into new place; his
wife just leave him, the whole bit.

He say, "I see this thing on television,
Feng Shui,

says if I paint my
house the right color,

if I arrange my
furniture properly,

can be bring me increased
happiness." I say yes.

He say "That very good for
me right because I need to start

my life over, on the right
foot this time." So I help him.

I buy paint for him,
I tell him where to put his furniture,

I buy wind chimes for
him. Symbol of good luck.

Place look great.

Couple of weeks later,
I call him.

No answer.

I go over to his house.

This dumb fucker,
he hang himself with wind chimes.

He is right there in this
middle of the living room,

perfectly arranged to bring
him increased happiness,

going "ding ding, ding ding."

First thing I do,
I quickly hang his old shit up on walls

and rearrange furniture
so that it look all wrong.

After all,
I have reputation to maintain.


They are all very amusing
to observe and study.

I think our listeners might
be interested in hearing

what brings these people here?

What bring them here?

Well... maybe, just maybe,

is something here they
cannot get anywhere else.


Excuse me but...
this table is reserved.

I know.

You mean,
you're "Well preserved brunette,

into cooking,
gardening and romance novels?"

I forgot to add "Very
prone to hyperbole."

Actually, I'm "a thin bald man,
into old movies,

baseball, and Chinese food."

What are you doing?

When you say "baseball",
do you mean as in

one of us will "pitch"
and one of us will "catch"?

No. It's nothing like that.

What are you looking at?


I guess it's about time I told
you what's going on here, huh?

I'd say it's your last chance.

Marshall Cotton.

Joe Regan.

Regan? Irish.

You a drinker, Joe?

Are you buying?

Mm... what about your job.

I'm a musician.

God! Strike two.

Well, is it steady at least?

Ten years.

Really? Are you
pulling in a good salary?

Like the suit?


Now I guess you're really wondering
what the hell's going on, huh?

Are you some kind of salesman?

"Some kind of salesman."
Very good description.

Ten years in the business and
I haven't figured out what kind.

I keep trying.

Fitness equipment,
radio airtime...

ex wives...

She'd be much happier
looking after a man.

So why wasn't it you?

that's what Melinda's all about.

That's not me.

I've got enough pink slips to
make a paper machee Mary Kay car.

What's in it for you?

My commission?

Let's just say it would
help to smooth things over.

I've been in the
doghouse so often

I started drinking
out of the toilet.

heck. I gotta run. New job interview.

I'll call you. Tell you
how the pitch went.

Pitch? What pitch?

To Melinda.

You mean... she doesn't
know you're doing this?

I thought you were
acting on her behalf.

Joe, relax.

I'm a salesman, O.K.

Everything'll work out fine.

Trust me.

Oh. Uh, I'm a little short.

Can you handle my drink? Thanks.

Honey, I'm hommmme!

Not any more you're not.

What's that?

"Men: "Plague or Pestilence?"

If you must now,
it's what we're reading

at our women's
discussion group tonight.

You know a lot's happened in
the world since this book came out,

hey we've got Newfoundland
now did you know?

Screw you!

Is the kid ready yet?

Okay, dad, I'm ready to go.

Okay, hon - wait a minute,
what is that?

It's the new glove
mom bought me.

You won't be able
to play with that glove.

Okay? I'm sorry.

Why not?

It's way too big,
you have to take that off.


I paid good money for that,

Look at the size of that thing.

What's she going to catch,
Falling Cosmonauts?

I want her to play second base,

you cannot play second
base with an outfielders glove.

Well it's not like I can
afford to buy her a new one,

and do you know why?

Because your child
support was late again.

why does child support always imply money?

I support my child
in a lot of other ways.

I help coach her ball team,
I... I...

You won't let
me play outfield...

Hey, this is between me and your mother,
all right?

you'll never be salesman of the year

so you're trying to
be father of the year.

Some father!

I can't believe the things
you put yourself though...

Let's keep our
marriage out of this.

Remember the first time you
went to one of these things,

you came to me
and you said felt guilty

because you'd never
had a lesbian experience?

Marshall! In front
of our daughter!

That's okay,
mom. My friend Julie's a lesbian.

No, honey, that's Lebanese.

I hounded this poor woman we
had at the office for three weeks.

Then, when I finally get her here,
what a bust!

All it was you two trading
home improvement tips all night.

"Gee", you said afterwards, "I was
really nervous but that turned out great."

What, still disappointed
you never got your jollies off?

I only wanted to watch because I thought

she might be dangerous;
what did we know about her?


Okay, honey, okay.

All I'm trying to say is this.

Just take one night,
and an instead of going

to this discussion group,
go out and meet a nice guy.

Someone who'll
appreciate you for you.

Nobody wants that, Marshall.

Nobody's ever wanted that,
not even you.

Besides, where am I supposed
to find somebody like that?

His name's Joe Regan.

Marshall! Stop it!

Had lunch with
him the other day.

Very basic guy deep down.

"Basic guy deep down",
meaning what,

on the surface he's
a complete flake?

Complete flake,
musicians - let's not split hairs.

That's good - you haven't
got too many left to split.

This guy has had the
same job ten years.


Makes good money too.

The single mom thing
doesn't faze him one bit.


O.K. Honey, O.K.

He's the kind of guy whose underwear
you'd be very happy to rinse out.

He wears underwear?

Already he's outclassed you.

Are we going or what?

Okay, okay.

So I tell you what
I'm going to do,

I'm leaving you his number.

If you get a chance
then give him a call,

and if it works out, great.

If it doesn't work out,
then I'll gladly refund your misery.

Come on honey lets go.

Bye Mommy.

Bye sweetie.

Have a good game.


Andrew, over here.

Over here! Have a seat.

You don't mind if I call you Andrew,
do you?

I'm not big on formality.

I don't mind at all.

Good. All that P's and Q's.

If I wanted Ps and Qs I
woulda picked some place

that serves alphabet soup, huh?

I know you're pressed for
time so I ordered ahead.

Like I said to you on the phone,
just a couple of spring rolls.

That should be fine. Yes.

Good. Hey, I knew a guy once,
he wore two watches.

I said,
"What the hell's that for?"

He said,
"I like a second opinion."

Look at that.

Is that service
or is that service?

As they say in China, grazzi.

Thanks again, Andrew, really.

I mean, meeting in a place like this,
I know it's unusual.

The thing with your
office is it's too anti-septic.

I mean,
I've never been there but that's my guess.

Don't get me wrong.

It's just that those kinda places,
they leave me cold.

Too sterile. Unfeeling.

If I want that, I can go home.

Why? What is the
problem at home?

The problem at
home is my mother.

I wish my old man was still alive.

Ya, know what he did for living?

Sold these little
plastic lizards.

You throw 'em against
a wall; they crawl down

in this funny zig zag pattern.

Cost ten cents to make.

A lotta laughs - for
about ten seconds.

Imagine the kind of talking
you gotta do to be able

to sell people ten seconds
worth of entertainment?

Imagine how thick
you have to lay it on?

And is he dead now
or are they separated?

Yeah, he's dead now.

You shoulda seen
the guys at his funeral:

guys who sold Slinkys,

guys those funny little
invisible dog leashes...

one guy,
he sold these magic eight balls,

the ones you shake
and get an answer?

He shakes this at the funeral,
he says

"Will Zack Warden
find peace in heaven"?

"It is probable."

that's why I had to take Ma in.

We haven't spoken in years.

At least she hasn't
spoken to me in years.

It's a bitch coming
home to her every night.

Her and the kid.

The kid?

Andrew. Go easy. Chew your food.

I told you. I don't have a
lot of time for this today.

I know. I'm sorry.

This is just to break the ice.

Anyway, my son.

I love him dearly but he's the
least expressive kid you ever met.

You know what say
to the guys at work?

I say that at school,
he's another kid's imaginary friend.

My sincerest apologies
but I really have to go.

Hey, you're leaving already.

He must have
really liked your food.

The food was fine.

Next time,
we will meet here again,

and we will sit and talk for a long time,
all right?

A long time? Sure.

Shall we say next Thursday then?

All right. "Next Thursday then."

How was that? Did
I pass the audition?

All right. I'll see you then.

Hey, Andrew.

think you can help me... really?

"It is probable."

Hey Andrew,
you forgot your fortune cookie.

"Can new voices be wrought
from ancient instruments?"

What the hell does that mean?

Hey, Ma, how you doing?

It's me. Your son?

So you're peeling some carrots?

Well I mean a second
ago you were..?

How is it that they haven't
recalled those uppers you're taking?

Hi, son...

I said hi, son.


How was school today? All right?

I said how was your day,
all right?



Well... good is good.

What can I say? Another
day at the Marceau household.

Life right now...

life is bad.

Life very, very bad.

Why you say that, son?

I tell you why.

Because here in this city,
because Asian population

is so small,
no one understand Feng Shui.

To us,
it's four thousand year old art.

To most people, is not that.

Is just "Why should I
change the color of my walls

or rearrange my furniture?"

Or, "What,
I should I put bowl of water by my window

as symbol of good luck?

This will change my life."

Answer is yes,
but they look at you like you are crazy.

Excuse me.

Do you have anything blue?

Because what I need right now,
I need something blue.

Something blue?

Yes. Because every time
I come into this restaurant,

I feel uncomfortable.

You know why? No.

Because is too
red in here for me.

Red is all wrong for
me; get me too excited.


Blue calms me down.

That is what I need.

A counter force.

A yin for my yang.

It is funny that
Feng Shui is back.

You see? That is problem.

Now even Asians
giving me a hard time.

Ho Fook, Mr. Luk is old friend!

Is no trouble.

I find something blue.

Maybe you should get
out of Feng Shui business.

Find nice girl.

Settle down. Have family.

I want to find nice girl,
have family.

But women.

Is too complicated.

Every night I am out in bars,
karaoke, looking.

Is enough to drive
me back to Lydia.

Must never go back to Lydia.

I won't, I won't.

Besides, she still in rehab.

Mr. Lao.

Thank you.

...There. Now I am calm.

So... how much I charge you
for my Feng Shui consultation?

You think is funny, is a joke.

But I tell you something.

You been in business
here how long?

Thirty-five years.

Okay. Been good around
here thirty-five years.

Life crazy, I know.

Things change, you know,
things change a lot.

My life crazy.

you could be out of business.

Hardly think so.

Why? Why you say that?

Look around you.

Busy, busy, all the time busy.

What? You have secret?


Okay. Maybe you have secret.

But is not enough.

Here. On the back of my fortune.

What does this say:

"Are the happiest dances not
performed with the shoe on the other foot?"

You see?

This is stupid this
fortune cookie business.

Some guy getting minimum
wage writes this in a factory

in Hong Kong somewhere
and supposed to believe it.

But a four thousand year
old art that was once practiced

in the royal palace in China,
tested on the whole population

by the ancient sages,
that's bullshit?

Life not only crazy,
is not fair.

I tell you what.

What I will do,
just for you, is I will bring

good luck charm in next time.

Little decoration
that will make sure

you stay in business
another 35 years.


What can it hurt?

...If it pleases your mother,

Believe me, I know my business.

[door opening]

Oh. Sorry I'm late.

Having lunch with my mother.

Once a week we do that,
keep in touch.

Tell her all my problems.

Poor woman.

Don't know where
my head is today.

Okay, come with me... I in the right office?

Yes, yes.

Uh... here it is.

Julia Brock.

That's you?

Mrs. Brock? One thirty,

Uh, yes.

I'll explain my situation.

My life is - a
disaster right now...

And I heard your
luck can be changed

if you move furniture around.

Feng Shui will fix
all of that for you.

All about the proper
placement of objects in space.

You haven't seen the
pamphlet have you?


Oh, there it is.

Is too crowded in here.

Let's go into my bedroom.


No sorry, my boardroom.


That's much better, isn't it?

Have a seat.

Yeah, you wanted to see me?


What's that for?

In the event you
don't take it like man.

In the event I don't
take what like man?

The fact that you're fired.

That's for you - in case
YOU don't take it like a man.

In case I don't take
what like a man?

The fact that I've
been using petty cash

to make child support payments.

[loud fart]

You know what, Ma?

That's the first thing
you've said to me all week.

So what's wrong?

It's just this fortune cookie.

It says, "Is a blind man
truly reflected in the mirror?"

What's that supposed to mean?

It probably mean
they need a new writer.

What's with the monkey?

Is a good luck charm from
a regular customer of mine.

Yeah? Has it brought any so far?

Not unless health
inspector is lucky.

Hey you little cutie, next time I
come here I'll bring my daughter.

What do you think of that?

How am I ever gonna
get this kid to open up?

Maybe you should set some
sort of precedent for expression.

"Precedent for
expression"? Like what?

I don't know. People who
are emotionally blocked,

sometimes they put a
paintbrush in their hands,

a stick of charcoal...
teach them how to paint,

to draw... art, you know,
as a form of getting it all out.

Getting it all out... Yeah.

Maybe that's a good idea.

Take his little
creature right here.

For years people did not think
that monkeys had much to say.

But once they found
an instrument by which

they could communicate
they found that they possessed

and could convey
extremely sophisticated ideas.

Isn't that right,
you little genius?

My kid's thirteen, Andrew.

I think he already
knows how to do that.

Not with his foot mind you.

Is about this good luck
charm you bring me.

Is the good luck
rubbing off yet?

If it rubs off anymore,
he go blind.

Yeah we'll deal with that
a little later next week,

I gotta go; I'll talk to you next week.


Come in.

Close the door.

Yeah, what's up?

you have my respect for salesmanship.

Ohh, well,
thank you very much - especially seeing

that I haven't
sold anything yet.

Thank you I'm flattered and well,
needless to say,

you have my respect
for management.

No Marshall, my book "Respect For
Salesmanship", by Anthony Higgins.

You've got it. I want it back.

Right. The book.

You know didn't really get
a chance to read it I only got

as far as the back cover,
but I liked what I skimmed.

Now then, Marshall,
we've been forced to make some changes.

Mr. Warden?

Mr. Warden?

Kwang! I'm in here all the time.

How many times have I told
you? I can't stand formality.

"Mr. Warden"! Chuck,
Chuck, call me Chuck.

Yeah I know Mr. Chuck,
Mr. Chuck?

There. Now that's not so bad,
is it?

Now what the hell do you want,
I'm busy.

I know, I know,
but look what we find in lost and found.

I ask everybody who
might this belong to,

but nobody know nothing.

I know this might sound crazy,
but might this belong to you?

A violin?

That's some stretch, Kwang.

Andrew, I ask you: do I look like
the kind of guy who plays the violin?

Frankly... no.

Well you're wrong.

Gimme that thing.

Thank you very much.

Refunds are available
at the box office.

Not bad, huh?

No. Is yours after all?

No. Used to play years ago.

Every time I started to play,
my mother left the room.

Even then she couldn't stand
anybody expressing themselves.

How the hell she ever met up
with my father, I'll never know.

Maybe you should
take it up again.

Sounds like it might chase
all your 'problems' away.

I tell you what,
I going to put it back

where it belongs
for the time being.

I'm going to continue
to ask everybody.

If no one claims it,
is yours, okay?

No thanks.

I could never hear myself play over
the din of conversation in my home.

Hey son, where you going?

...A friend.

A friend? Hey.

And what do you
at this friend's?

You play ball?

You chase girls,

you listen to music about killing cops,



Hey, speaking of "stuff",

somebody offered me
something the other day.

You want to know what it is?


A violin.

I used to play when I was a kid.

It was fun.

I figured a guy like you,
you know, bored all the time,

maybe... I don't know,
maybe you'd like to give it a try.

What do you say?
Should I pick it up?

...I don't know.

You don't know? Can I go now?

Yeah. Go, go.

If I want conversation,
I'll find a monk.

You know what you need,
Mr. Murphy?

Wind chimes.

Oh yes. And believe me,
Mr. Murphy,

these wind chimes,
they have only been used once...

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Lao Feng Shui consultant.

This is Mr. Hung Luk,
proprietor of the House Of Luk restaurant.

Oh yes. Another
satisfied customer.

You know that
knick-knack you bring me?

Of course. Yes.

I bring him special
accessory too,

make all the
difference in the world.

Bring him much happiness.

Know where he is right now?


Is holding my customers hostage.


We had small
fire in the kitchen.

He started jumping up and down,
running around.

Next thing I know,
he break the leash.

[nervous laughter]

So he has brought you
much amusement then?

Look. Come and get
your monkey right now

or on tonight's
dinner special menu

we going to have moo goo
guy monkey. You got that?

So, about these wind chimes.

Hey Marshall.


Is everything okay?

Uh yeah... uh...

Our kid got hit by the ball.


It's O.K., she's O.K.,
are you O.K.?

I'm O.K.

I put some of this on it.


It was all I could find.

Poor kid,
her nose is spread like margarine.

Two years away from dating
and she looks like WC Fields.

Hopefully there's some guy at
her school who looks like Mae West.

And how was your night?

I noticed you left
your manual behind.

I meant to ask you
who won the vote?

Was it plague or pestilence?

I had five bucks on plague.

I didn't go to my discussion group tonight.

I saw Joe.


Joe Regan?


He's a good musician.

Yeah, and?

And he's very good.

Are we still talking about music
here or did you skip a few tracks?

I went to see him play,
we had a drink,

I watched him play again,
we had another drink.

Wow, two dates in one night.

Sounds serious.

So what,
are you going to start to do,

start laying out fresh guitar
strings for him every morning,

just the way you used
to lay out my suits?

It's a little early for that kind of thing,

I don't know,
I think I've known you long enough

to tell when you're
really stuck on someone.

Oh? Do tell, Kreskin.

We've been talking for a few minutes,

Have you been on my
case about money yet?


Hold on, hold on.

That's great,
now move the instrument to this shoulder.

Switch hands with your bow,
hold on to your bow.

You don't want to grasp it
you want to gently hold it.

Now draw it across
that string there.

Sounded great!

Try it again!

Don't worry about
your grandmother.

You're making beautiful,
beautiful music!

Right across.

It sounds beautiful.

Now try the other string.

There was no sound.


I heard nothing, I saw nothing.

Just her.

It was her.

Just as I had
always imagined it...

...the cut of her hair...

...the look of her eyes.

I had walked into
the perfect room.

Perfect for me.

It had created the
ultimate vibration.

And then...

I don't know, Ma.

Maybe is a curse at work.

Maybe there are things at
work in life we don't know about.

Is really going to take something
special to change my luck.


Buddha, most people think
of him as a great thinker,

a philosopher, a God.

I don't consider him a God.

I think he's a comedian.

A comedian?

You notice he always talks in parables,
in riddles,

in fortune cookie things?

It reminds me of a story,
about this drowning man.

He's in the middle of the
ocean and another man

comes by in a boat and he says hop in,
I will save you.

No, says the gentleman,
gasping for his life.

My God will save me.

Away goes the boat.

A little while later,
along comes a helicopter,

my goodness the driver cries,
here, grab this rope.

No, says the man, still drowning,
my God will save me.

A little while later,
along comes a cruise ship.

The captain says hey drowning
man take the life preserver,

I will save you.

No, says the man.

I don't want you to save me.

My God will save me.

The cruise ship leaves.

A little while later,
the man is dead.

The man gets to heaven.

He is very, very angry.

He demands to see God.

"I want to see God!" He's
yelling and screaming.

Pretty soon God comes and says "Yes,
may I help you?"

"How could you let a nice
religious man like me drown

and you don't try to save me?"

He says "Ah! I
did try to save you.

I sent a boat for you,
I sent a helicopter,

I sent a cruise ship..."

You get it?

it's about the guard dog...

I know he sounded mean on
the phone but this is ridiculous.

...I'll call ya back.

Marshall, come on in,
close the door.


What do you mean, no?

I've been through this
enough times that I know what

it means when someone
asks you to close the door.

If you don't mind,
I'll spare myself the indignity this time.

Thanks again, Dick.

We'll always have
the '97 Cavalier.

Marshall, Marshall. Wait.

You misinterpret.

Sit down.

Look, I'm a pretty sharp guy,

Know my business.

I've been around.

Dealer of the year '96,
'97, '99.

'98 those bastards
bought that award.


Take a look at the
other guys on the floor,

the ones who close the deals.

Ask yourself this, Marshall:

what do those guys
have that you don't?

They're right for
the product - I'm not?

Nope. That's not it.

I'll tell you what it is.




You don't think I'm a smart guy?

Here. Get yourself some hair.

You'll see what it does for you.

Dick, wait a second...

Don't worry. It's gonna work.

If I'm wrong - but I won't be
- we'll use it for a shammy.

O.K. Kujo, out.

[loud snoring]

Jesus, kid,
you make more noise when you're asleep

than you do when you're awake.

dad's going away for a while on business.

While I'm away, do me a favor.

Practice the violin.

Not for you.

I know it's probably boring.

But for me.

Rest those vocal chords.

Hello, yes,
I am from local Asian newspaper,

distributed throughout Chinatown
and we are covering the parade

for the gay and lesbian
Chinese community...

we need some
additional information...

like what is name of woman
who was sitting in a red car,

underneath a big
umbrella waving...

yes, a big colorful umbrella
that said "Lesbian Pride".

Francine Lowe...

are you sure?

Oh, okay, thank you very much...

Uh.. in the next issue...

When is it coming out?

Uh, goodbye!


Hello, is this Miss Lowe?


My name is Ho Fook Lao,

I am calling to say
congratulations -

you have just one a free one
hour Feng Shui consultation.

what do you think Mr. Magnet?


Isn't that you? Chick Magnet?

What'd I tell ya?

Looking good!

[violin playing]

Let's review the deal.

Just to make sure
I have this right.

I let you have this
for half my usual price

and you save me what again?

I eat the cost of the
editing and the soundtrack.

The shooting, the script,
I have to contract that out.

I don't own bodies, I own gear.

but why should there have to be script?

Why not just me on camera,
talking about Feng Shui?

Because a promotional
video has to be more than that.

I know you're trying to turn a buck here,

but if you really want
to save your business,

you gotta go after a
higher class of clients, right?

Right. Yes.

You bring me luck by
rearranging my office;

I'll save you half the cost
of your promotional video.

Okay, okay.

As long as we understand,
let's begin the consultation.

Now these bars.

What are these bars doing here?

Protecting my shop, what else.

Okay, bars like this.

They are wrong for you.

Bars are okay for
vulnerable people,

for say, a small tiny man.

But you, you are big loud man.

Look at you.

You don't need this.

This is for mouse,
the kind of man who work at the library.

You need to take the bars off.

I'm not taking the bars off.

You must. It tells the world look at me,
I am invincible.

I am not afraid of anything.

When clients walk in here you
know what they are going to say?

They are going to
feel that off of you,

they are going to
see that and feel it

off of the room
when you are in it.

They will sign on the dotted
line right away, I assure you.

Right away.

I don't know about this...

Is okay. We'll hang wind chimes.

Will ward off everything.


is that you under there?

Poor Ponce De Leon. The
airmiles he could have saved

had he only bought
one of these babies.

Come to think of it,
I always wondered what happened

to the Muppets when
they went off the air...

Ooh insults.

Stupid thing to say to a
man holding a big cheque.

What big cheque?

This one.

Oh my God, Marshall.

What do you think
of the hairpiece now?

Oh my! Aren't you Mel Gibson?

How much was that for again?

No, wait, Kevin Costner.

And how many cents?

I've got it!

George Clooney!

That's better.

Marshall... this is fantastic.

Have you finally
stuck somewhere?

Stuck like this rug on my head.

Dick Hope Automotive.

Cars? And you're closing?

Like crazy.

It started when I saw
myself with this thing on.

It's like a fortune
cookie I read recently.

It said: "Is a blind man
truly reflected in the mirror?"

Think about that, huh?

Sure, sure...

that's great.

Now Joe and I can
go to Cuba together.

You and Joe? Cuba?


Think you can handle
Kathleen for a week?

You'd trust her
with me for a week?

Yeah I'd love to.

huh? Wow! Sounds pretty romantic.

Sand, surf, power outages...

you know what this
sounds like to me?

This sounds like the
makings of a proposal.

A proposal? Oh Marshall!

I'm serious. Mark my words:
you're going to go to Cuba

and he's going to put
a ring on your finger.

if you can turn his life around,

I guess anything's possible.

have you still got any of that Anusol left?

I've got this horseshoe up my
ass and it's really starting to itch.

Hey, you locked the door.

[violin playing]

And then she held me.

She held me for Chrissakes!

That woman never
gave me a hug in my life.

Not even at Christmas.

Right there in the kid's bedroom,
over his bed.

Great big tears,
all over my shirt.

Next time I see her,
she's rubbing stain stick

all over it trying
to get the tears off.

It was amazing, Andrew.

What are you going to do now?

What am I going to do now?

What else? Practice!

Is strange,
your mother is never late to meet you.

My mother?


Is not my mother today.

Is very special girl.


Yes. The girl.

The girl?

How do you know?

The girl.

Mr. Luk... Yes.

Please. A drink.

A drink.

Something red.

Something red... to help
you build the fire, I know.

You're Ho Fook Lao?


Yes. Yes. I am.

For minute there,
I forget my name.

It is because you are in blue.

Blue has an effect on me.

I can go home and change.

No. Please. Sit down.

I order you a drink.

Now, how does this work?

Feng Shui,
is a very ancient practice.

They analyzed the
entire population.

Came up with all kinds of
different personality types.

And by finding out
which type you are,

I can help you solve
all of your problems.

I can bring you ease,
bring you happiness,

I can bring you... love.

I'd like that.

You would? Me too.

Uh I mean, I mean already,
I can tell a lot about you.

You can?


I can see that you are water.


It is your love of blue.

You are water,
Francine You are the ocean.

That's a good thing, right?

Oh yes.

Oh no.

From Oh yes,
to Oh no, just like that.

Yes. You see, the sea,
it is not always calm is it?

Sometimes, there is a storm,
there are things stirring.

Let me ask you Francine,
are you currently

in a relationship with anyone?

That's a good question.

The same one I ask myself every
time my partner and I have a fight.

There! You see?

Feng Shui is a four thousand
year old scientific study.

It does not lie.

It knows that this
relationship is wrong for you.

Is literally "too stormy."

"Too stormy",
more like on the rocks.

You and your partner,
you both need something.

And I know just what it is.

You do?

What you need,
Francine... is a man.

Whatsa matter, kid?

We used your room.
That's why you're mad at us.

I'm sorry.



...That's not it.

that's not why you're mad at us?

No... It's mine.

The room? I know.

Not the room... The violin.

The viol-

the one your
grandmother was playing?

What do you care? You
never practiced anyway.

Doesn't matter. It's mine.

Okay, okay... it's yours.

I'll get another one.

I like the hair, Marshall.

Yeah, me too.

I was a little
apprehensive at first.

I had rug just like
it in the seventies.

For the first two weeks
I kept reminding myself

not to drop uppers in it,
you never find them.

Now though, can't complain.

This hair's sold more
cars than General Motors.

It's cars this week, is it?

Tell me,
is there anything you haven't sold?

Yes - Melinda.

Or have I?

I like her a lot.


"Like, love"; I'm not picky.

Should be very romantic,
just the three of you:

you, her, Castro.

Oh. Cuba. Right.

Give me a ring before you go.

No. On second, thought,

I'll give YOU one.

...I thought it was
MY job to close.

I'm qualified now.

You know there is
something new about you,

Marshall and it's
not just the hair.

There's an air about you,
now, a confidence,

a certain... what's the word...


Dignity, huh?

I like that.

Oh. Hello.

You look wonderful.

That bathrobe is
just right for you.

You're early.

I told you on the phone.

I can only give you an hour.

An hour,
I'll have to work quickly then.

Your roommate,
she is not back is she?


Well there is lot of
work to be done here.

Francine today
is your lucky day,

I am at the peak
of powers right now.

What I can do to you, Francine,

you would not believe it.

Okay. So...

where do we start?

Where do we start?

I think we should
start... in the bedroom.

No offence Francine,
but I hope the rent is low here.

Oh, Francine,
this is all wrong for you, Francine.

It is?


You are in desperate
need of help.

This person you are
having problems with.

This is her?


Look! She is everywhere,

your problem is
right here all the time,

in your face, worse still,
in the bedroom.

The place where you
should be the most relaxed.

This is not a place
for all your problems.

This is the place where
you must surrender.

Okay. This lighting, Francine.

Is too harsh.

Look at you.

Do you know what
strikes me about you?

Your eyes,
the texture of your skin,

the cut of your hair.

Where have you been all my life?

That is what the
mirror is asking.

Turn down those lights,
it says, make it soft in here...

as soft as your beautiful hands.

Ok then.

What's that?

A Feng Shui compass,
very important

for the proper arrangement
with the forces of the stars.

There... Now go lie down.

Lie down?

Yes, to test it out,
to see how it feels.

Trust me.


No, that way,
you have to face north.

North, why?

Why? Because north will bring
a breath of fresh air into your life.

Now let go.

Make yourself vulnerable.

Make yourself very,
very vulnerable.

[loud music on radio]

[station changed
to new age music]

Let it open you.

Let it open you...

Let it open you to new
and interesting sensations.

Oh fuck! What are you doing?

Francine, please.

What do you think?

Do you think I am unethical?

This is a four
thousand year old art.


Jesus Christ.

You know, I've been everywhere,

I've seen everything... I've
never see nothing like this.

Man, you are hot.

You're smokin'.

By the way,
what is it exactly you're smokin'?

Sounds like it's
time I tried some.

Look at these figures!

It all happened when I came
across a quote in a fortune cookie:

"Is A Blind Man Truly
Reflected In The Mirror?"

Sure... sure...

I got just the thing for all of
those sales orders you got:

a new paperweight.

Employee of the month? Me?

You know how many times I've
caught my refection in one of these,

how sad I looked,
how pathetic I looked?

You look pretty good to me.

You keep this up
you'll have my job.

Marshall. I got
proposition for ya...

as the Bishop said
to the choirboy.

Next week, we're planning
a series of live commercials.

Channel 11.

They're showing "Forrest Gump."

You being on a
hot streak like this -

I mean, really, it should be me;

I'm the man, Dick Hope.

I mean my name's
on the building,

even in the slogan "Go somewhere
else and you have no hope,

but come here and you get dick"

- but why mess with success?

With you on the air,
we'll have so many customers,

there won't be room on
the lot for any of the cars.

What do you say, bud?

Will you do the spots?

And that was Crystal Day
with here own personal version

of the theme song from Shaft.

Okay, so I tease her,
but hey she's like a drug.

Always getting passed
around at parties.

Speaking of parties,
let's bring up Mr. Happy himself,

that's right, our friend,
our next singer,

the original Tienamin Square,
Mr. Ho Fook Lao.


Hey shut up ya losers, be nice.

Hey listen, buddy,
maybe you should lay off the ballads.

You really bring the room down.

no. Will be happy music this time. Really.

All right, that's great,
let's go with.

The Tony Bennett of Beijing,
Mr. Ho Fook Loa.

♪ I've got the world at my feet,

♪ I've got the whole nine yards,

♪ you can't compete I'm
holding all the cards. ♪

♪ You watched the Romans
and the Ottomans fall ♪

♪ but not the man
whose got it all. ♪

♪ I'm sittin' on top of this ball of glue,

♪ I've got my cake
and I'm eating it too. ♪

♪ And if I jump for joy
I clear the great wall ♪

♪ 'cuz I'm a man
whose got it all. ♪

I'm not finished yet.

I'm a man whose got it all.

Well you don't have
the microphone,

we've got a lot of people
to get up here tonight.

Thanks, maybe next week,
sober up first.

Okay. Hold on...

A little powder.

You nervous?

Are you kidding?
Cool as a cucumber.

Okay. Stand by.

Wait for my cue.

We're on live in five,





Take it!

Hi folks, Marshall Cotton
here for Dick Hope Automotive.

Why am I standing
here in this barrel?

Because we're stripping
everything down to the bare bones.

Go in for a close up.

Not the monkey.

Move over and cover the monkey,
go, go, go.

There isn't any length we
won't go to to help out you,

our valued customer.

Come on down to
Dick Hope Automotive

where we're taking
the shirts off our backs.

Guy's got more hair on his
ass than he does on his head.

You don't want to go
to another dealership.

You see in my shop,
everybody's straight up.

No losers.

Gimme a break, I'm in a barrel.

I'll take a hundred
bucks off the top.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, this is a rather
ridiculous sounding question...

but the last time
I was in this city,

did I perchance
leave a violin here?

[violins playing Knocking]

this better not be Jehovah's Witness'.

What do you want?

My name is Cole Richardson.

Professional home wrecker,
I take it?

I beg your pardon?

What is it?

I'm sorry if it's a bad time,

but I'm with the thirteen strings,
the musical ensemble.

You guys don't have to
go door to door anymore,

they have this thing
called the Internet.

The proprietor of the House
of Luk Restaurant told me that...

well, that you have my violin.

I just heard it being played.

It's a genuine Radinsky.

I'd like it back.

Yeah, of course. Come in.

Mr. Fook.

No. My name is Ho Fook.

Or Mr. Lao. Not Mr. Fook.

Mr. Berman wants to see you.

He's been looking
for you all morning.

Tell him I can't. Not right now.

Busy with big client.

Big client! The hell you are.

Where's my rent cheque?

The rent cheque is forthcoming.

Do not worry.

Every month we go
through this bullshit.

I'm not just some guy who
runs a business down the hall.

I own this place.

And I've got plenty of associates
looking for good office space.

Mr. Berman, please,
it will be there.

Why should I believe that?

Ellen here tells me that all of
your calls are from bill collectors?

She spends more time on the
phone with the guys threatening

to repossess your office furniture
than she does working for me.

Mr. Berman, please.

I'm working on a
promotional video right now.

When is done,
will bring me a whole new client base.

Then, no more of this lateness,

I know I have been
disorganized in the past,

but now, all is changing for me.

Am on top of the
world right now.

And believe me,
this is only the beginning.

Ma. I got you a present.

Take a look.

Brand new.

Top of the line.

I'll get my violin, we'll play.

Ma? Ma, what is it?

Come on, Ma, let's play.



For some reason,
it has to be that violin.

Nothing else'll do!

Go figure!



I don't know why.
You're the psychiatrist.

You're the one who
deals in human behavior.

You tell me.

So it's over.

Every night I try.

Every night I try
but it's all over.

Come here. Come here.

I want to show you something.


Okay, who did this for you?

Why did you hire someone after
me to come in and do this for you?

This all wrong for a
personality type like you.

I didn't hire anybody, asshole.

They volunteered.
We were robbed.

You were robbed?

Yes. Robbed. Taken. Raped.

They took everything.
And do you know why?

Because the bars I had on
the windows were blocking

"the natural vibes"
of my personality.

I can tell you right now.

If you had been in
this room at the time,

this would not have happened.

Oh bullshit.

Feng Shui. What is that?

Japanese for 'B And E'?

It's Chinese. Whatever. Get out.

Get out before I
re-arrange your face

the way you
re-arranged my offices.

I don't take that from you -

That's too bad - 'cause
it's all I've got left to take.

Those punk kids
from the neighborhood

you held the fucking
door open for took it all.

They even took your
fucking wind chimes.

They took the wind chimes?


Yeah. Buy yourself
some underwear.

Ah ah ah.

Hey. Book me some more airtime.

[honking and tires squealing]

I'm going on personally to
tell them that everything is O.K.

Mr. Richardson?

Oh. Glad to see you again.

Lovely playing by the way.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Listen. I hate to disturb
you during rehearsal,

but I wanted to ask
you about that violin.

Yes. Thank you again. Truly.

I wanted to ask you... see,
you think I can talk,

if my father were here!

He could talk
anyone into anything.

Used to sell these
little plastic lizards.

You threw 'em on a wall,
they crawled down

and made this
funny zig zag pattern.

Really? How interesting.

Well, see, the thing is,
my mother...

she's the kind of woman...

what can I tell ya,
she doesn't talk much.

Actually she
doesn't talk at all.

But she can play
the violin though.

she can play that violin.

And only that one.

I can't explain it.

I only know that...
that without it...

she's not her herself. Do
you know what I mean?

Mr. Warden, I'm sorry,
but this violin is not for sale.

I lost it once and I lost
the ability to communicate.

You can't possibly
imagine what that's like.

You forgot your violin.

Uh.. hi, Mr. Lao.

I really hate to have to do this and all,
but the fact is,

they're really on
my ass over here.

I tried to explain but they read
me the riot act this afternoon.

If you don't come
up with the money,

they're going to repossess.

I fell really bad about this.


Hi, Ho Fook. It's Francine.

I'm calling to say thank
you for the other night.

I really want to talk to you.

Call me.

Francine. It's Ho Fook here.

How are you?

I thought it was great
too... I'm glad to hear that.

But just tell me now,
okay, if this is bad news?

Because right now,
bad news would be very, very bad for me.

There is not enough blue in the
whole world to calm me down right now.

If you walked in here right now
and you had dyed your skin blue,

it would still not be enough.

If this is bad,
you let me down gently, okay?

I'm not asking you as a salesman.

God knows I'm not
qualified for that.

I'm asking you as a friend.

A thirty-second spot.

A little boost to your profile,
what could it hurt.

For me.

What do you say?

I say for old time's sake,
lunch is on me, Marshall.

Here, keep some for yourself.

Beyond that... I gotta run.

Great seeing you again,
you stay healthy.

And call me any time.

I'm out of town for
a couple of months,

call me after that, O.K.?

Thanks a lot.

Hey Joe!

Oh. Marshall. How are you?

Good, good.

I've been trying to
get a hold of Melinda

but we can't seem to connect.

Cuba, how'd it go?

Let me ask you this: the ring.

Did it go over?

Did the ring go over?

And how!

Uh... Janice, this is Marshall.

Marshall, Janice.

Marshall is the man
responsible for the ring.

Oh! I'm very happy with it.

I never thought
he'd finally do it.

Yes. I was just telling Marshall
about the recent trip I took -

that gig in Cuba,
the cruise ship.

Oh yes, the cruise ship.

I heard you had
to share a cabin.

Uh, Marshall -

Come on, sweetie.

Help mommy finish
what's on her plate.

You see that man right there,

You know what he
does fore a living?

He sells jewelry,
just like mommy's pretty ring.

Actually I'm out of
that business now.

I'm selling television spots.

Oh. Well,
at least you went out with a bang.

My Joe here was on thin
ice until you came along.

Well I think your Joe here
is in the wrong business.

Oh I don't know,
he seems to be doing all right.

He should be in
the oil business.

Oil? You mean like crude?



[phone ringing]


I want you to do something for me.

This is the name of a violinmaker,
used to live in town.

Do me a favor. Call some people.

See if you can find
out anything about him.

I doubt the guy's still alive,
that's the thing.

But entertain me.

Gimme some hope.

Call anyway, would ya,
see what you can dig up?



Marshall! What happened to you?

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

I have something we need to talk about,
so can I come in.

I don't have time for a visit,

Joe's dropping by
before his show.

Well Joe won't be coming.

What? How do you know?

The kid's not home is she?

No. Why?

I don't want her to hear this.

Can I come in.

It's a kind of a
funny thing actually.

It's about Joe and... ahh...
it ends up that he's attached.

I know.

No. I don't mean that
he's attached to you.

I mean that he's attached
to somebody else.


They've got a kid.

What? He's got a
wife and a child?

Don't overreact; I knew you
were going to react like this.

It's not that serious.

It's not a wife and a child.

He's got a fiancée and a child.

Oh Marshall,
where did you hear that?

It's on the Internet at - Joe at
deceiving philanderer dot com.

- Look if you don't believe me please
do me a favour and call him at home.

I can't. I don't have his home number,
only his cell.

Well, I've got it.


Uh, yes,
could I speak to Joe please?

I'm afraid Joe's
not in right now.

Who is it, mommy?

Somebody for daddy.

Oh my god! It's true, isn't it?

Aw honey, I'm sorry -

Get your fucking
hands off of me!

I'm just trying to console you.

You're the one
responsible for all of this!

I was perfectly happy
until you came along!

That is not true,
no you weren't!

Ok, maybe I wasn't but I
was happier than I am now.

How could you do this to me?

Well, you know,
I wanted to see more of the kid

and I just thought
that if I married you off

and I didn't have to worry
about money anymore...

I should trust you with our daughter,

after everything
you've put me through?

I've been jumping through
hoops since the day I met you.

I am not going to let you
start to do that to Kathleen.

You broke my heart,
Marshall, into little pieces -

how are you going to fix that,
with Anusol?

All right,
all right... what do you want me to say?

I want you to say that you're through
using me for your stupid schemes,

I am a person, Marshall,
not some mark.

I've got needs; I can't
go through life saying,

"Just looking, thank you."

Ok... No! No!

And don't write this attitude off
to my woman's discussion group.

'Cause if you do
I'm warning you,

the next spine that's going
to get broken around here

won't be the one on some
Germaine Greer book.

It'll be yours!

It's the product.

I'm always selling the
wrong goddamn product...

It's me, Sandy. Any calls today?

Yeah... Of course I remember.

Why, you find something?

Is that right?

Ah! That's marvelous,
Sandy, marvelous.

I love you. Okay,
where are they?

I'll see if I can get
over there right away.

Thanks a lot.

You look beautiful
as always. Really.

Fook. I have the most wonderful news.

I can't wait to tell you.

I am glad to hear that.

I'm pregnant.

...You are what?

I'm pregnant.

Really? Oh my god.

This cannot be happening.

You are not serious are you?

I'm very serious
- and very happy.

this is amazing. Really?

Really. I love you, Fook. do?

I do. You're a very special man.

Thank you. That's wonderful.

You have no problems with this?

No. Do you know how
long my partner and I

have been trying
to adopt a child?

We have been
lobbying for months.

And then, you.

The way you said "You and
your partner are unhappy.

You both need a new
person in your lives."

I knew right away that you
were talking about the baby.

The way you fixed the room for me,
prepared me...

It didn't feel like "Oh my God,
I am sleeping with a man."

It felt like it
was in the stars.

Well of course it
was in the stars,

Feng Shui is a four thousand year old art,

Thank you, Ho Fook.

Thank you so much.

And Brenda thanks you too.


Marshall. Hello.

I just came by to tell you that
I did your dirty work for you.

Oh. Well, what can I say?

Awfully nice of you to
pick up the tab. Why?

Professional courtesy,
you being the better salesman.

Well, if it's any consolation,
Marshall, I know how you feel.

Do you?

Sure. I've had it all:
drinks thrown in my face,

threatening e-mail... I even
came home one night to find

my underwear nailed to my
door with a pair of scissors.

Just my luck you weren't
wearing them at the time.

Misery still love company,


What happened?

A stripper named Brandy.

It was the last straw.

By the way, I'm not Irish.

It just turns the girls on.

Mr. Kidd?


Chuck Warden,
my secretary called you.

Ohh, you're the guy who wants
to know about Radinsky, right?

Yes, that's right.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Why do you want
to know about him?

Well, it's a long story really.

But he made a violin
and I want to know

if he made any others like it.

This violin,
what did it look like?

It's not what it looked like,
it's what it sounded like.

It's the only violin that
my mother will play.

Your mother's a musician?

Yeah. Although I had no idea.

Quiet as a mouse my mother.

A dead mouse. Never said a word.

Then one day, I come home,
she's in the kid's room

standing over his bed,
playing this violin. Crying.

A piece by Buchini. Nice piece.

...Oh my God...

What, what?

How about a cup of tea?

Would you like tea?

Yeah? I like tea.

Well... okay.

For many years,
I was an apprentice

to Mr. Radinsky.

Wonderful old guy.

He had been a virtuoso in Vienna,
many years ago.

Came here about the time
the orchestra started up.

Anyway, at that time,
one of the big families

in this town had this daughter.

And you know, being rich
and into the arts and all of that,

they wanted her to
take music lessons.

She was about
seventeen years old or so.

Well, they call in Mr. Radinsky,

and wouldn't you know it,
the old guy falls in love with her.

Head over heels.

And wouldn't you know it again

but pretty soon,
she gets pregnant.

Well, family scandal,
of course; you could imagine,

and this family disowns her.

She goes running to Mr. Radinsky
and he says to hell with them!

And I'm sure that's exactly
what he said because

although he didn't talk much,
that's the way he was.

To hell with them, he said.

We'll start our own family.

You don't think I
can make a family?

There, he said.

Don't tell me I
can't make a family.

Every night for the next
eight months he stayed late.

Every night I would
leave the place

and every night I would ask
him what he was working on.

Personal project, he'd say.

It was a violin.

The most beautiful
violin you ever saw.

I saw it, years ago.

He said to his wife,
this is for our child.

He played it for her while
the child was still in the womb,

played the baby to
sleep after it was born,

and kept giving her lessons so
that when he got tired, she'd play.

That violin was never used
for anything except that child.

Then, one morning,
I'm coming in...

I've got coffee in one hand,
a honey cruller in the other.

Just lying there he was,

surrounded by his violins.

Then, you know,
I had the nasty job of telling her.

And of course, as I'm telling her,
she starts to cry.

She hands me
this beautiful violin.

She says "I'm crying
like a baby. So play."

so she cried and I
played until she stopped.

Then, she packed up the violin,
handed it to me.

She said I never
want to see it again.

I wanted to keep it.

I thought, I don't know,
maybe the baby'll grow up some day,

he'll want it.

She caught me with it.

She said no. Get rid of it.

So... what could I do?

You want more tea?

No, no. That's all right.

For whatever reasons,
she married the first joker who came along.

A real loudmouth.

You know what he did?

...He sold these
little plastic lizards,

you threw them against a
wall and they crawled down

in this funny zig zag pattern.

...Uh huh.

I remember he said
he could make a killing

if he sold 'em in China.

Had this promotion
all worked out

where he'd throw 'em against
the Great Wall, hundreds of 'em.


I met him once.
For five seconds.

Felt like half an hour.

Talk, talk, talk.

I think she managed
to interrupt him once.

I remember shaking
my head and thinking,

that's the last word she'll ever get in."

I guess it was.


[knocking on door]

[knocking on door]

Mr. Lao?

McGill And McGill Collectors
sent us for the furniture.


The new channels, Marshall.

They've been approved.

More discount specialty
programs for everyone!


Niche marketing, that's the only way
to survive in this business anymore.

So... we're going
after a new audience.

TV for he e-mail generation.

Young, hip,
in your face programming,

with a jerky camera.

We'll be looking at a younger anchor,
younger reporters...

younger sales staff.

Great. What about a
younger station manager?

Hah! Nah.

Figure I'll just
change my job title.


[violin playing]

Ma. Where did you get this?

The violinmaker sent it to her.

He went to see the
guy from 13 strings

and out of respect
for old Radinsky -

my old man I guess I
should learn to start saying -

the guy gave it up.

Must've been a hell of a trade.

You know,
you tell me about the people you see,

they complain about their mothers,
their daughters,

their sons... the complainers.

And then I realized,
I'm in an ideal position.

My family... they can only speak

when they have
something beautiful to say.

That's very nice.

You know another funny thing?

You remember the
first time we came here?

I got this fortune cookie.

And do you know
what it said inside?

"Can New Voices Be Wrought
From An Ancient Instrument?"

And God Almighty, it was right.

For years I tried to get that
my mother to make a sound,

a peep, something.

And when she did,
everything else followed.

But I had to find that
old instrument first.

That was the key.

What I want to know
is this: how did it know?

A cookie can't think...
so how did it know?

Andrew, you've been sitting
across from me for six weeks.

Eating my spring rolls,
nodding your head,

and pontificate about monkeys.

And all the time some guy
working in a factory in Hong Kong

had all the answer
long before you did.

This is our last session,
this one is on you.

I think you owe me.

What is so important that
I had to rush across town.

Is this about Kathleen?

Well, sort of.

Sort of?


What do you think?

I don't know. It's nice.

A little flashy but... basic.


I get it.

You're going to start selling
these and I'm your guinea pig?

No. I want you to marry me.


Marshall, you can't be serious.

I'm deathly serious.

I love you.

You want us to
get married again?



Because I can't hold a job,

I'm constantly broke,

and I have no self-esteem.

All these years in sales
and that's your pitch?

You see, that's the thing.

It's not a pitch.

Pitching I'm through with.

I could never find the
right product anyways.

It's like this fortune cookie
I kept telling you about.

"Is a blind man truly
reflected in a mirror?"

I couldn't see what was in the mirror,
which was me.

And I'm not going to spend
the rest of my life casting

what's left of that in front of
the Joe Regans of the world

just so they can trample all
over me like an oriental rug.

This is so funny,
all the times you came over to my place

and told me I should
learn how to be myself,

and that I had to stop putting
myself through all these things,

secretly I was thinking
the same about you.


this is the latest hoop you
want me to jump through, huh?

And then,
a funny thing happened. the movers were
taking all of my furniture away,

I realized... that I was happy.

I was not sad. Why?

Why should I be happy?

I had lost the girl,
I had lost my business,

I had lost my furniture...

but as the movers were
taking my furniture away,

I realized that I had
spent all this time

rearranging other
people's furniture,

rearranging other
people's lives.

But that this was the first time
that anyone was doing it to me.

They were freeing me up,
taking all of my clutter away

and creating order.

This, I realized,
was the real Feng Shui:

not me walking into
someone's office and saying

"If you put your couch here
your relationships will improve",

but these movers,
taking away my life.

Marshall find he want
to marry his wife again.

Now he doing all right.

He write a bestseller.

Becoming very popular
on seminar circuit.

Chuck happy too.

Comes here, goes home then plays

with his family every night.

One night, he meet nice girl here,
at House of Luk.

She a cellist. Round
out the quartet.

She's expecting, maybe they have

a viola player in their future.

Ho Fook still come here.

As biological father,
is allowed to see the baby.

One day,
he take baby to the park.

he meet nice single mother.

They both hit it off.

Next thing his mother tell me,
he is partner in

girl's business - is
business just right for him.

People still come
here to find something

they cannot find anywhere else.

Thank you, Mr. Luk.

What time is it?

Oh God! I'm late.

Late? For what?

I shouldn't have to but I try to drive by

my daughter's
school at four o'clock.

My ex husband is supposed
to pick her up on Fridays

but he tends to forget.

Between that and everything
else that's going on right now...

God! My life!

What a mess!

Wait. Before you go.

Have a cookie...