House Party 3 (1994) - full transcript

[♪♪]

[CRASH]

MAN:
You may now kiss the bride.

[AUDIENCE CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN 1:
Play. He's so fine.

WOMAN 2:
Ooh, he looks good.

WOMAN 3:
Can I change his mind?

WOMAN 4:
Over here, baby.

WOMAN 5:
Ooh, I need you.

Come back here.

I love you.



WOMAN 6:
I love you.

WOMAN 7:
Oh, don't do it.

[RINGING]

[PANTING]

Yo.

Yo, this wedding
got me buggin'.

[RINGING STOPS]

[GRUNTS]

Hey.

Hey.

WOMAN: Hey.

Hey, how about a nice, big,
juicy good morning kiss?

Not with that
good morning breath.

Ha.



Well...

Look, just one kiss.

Come on. That's all I want.
Just one kiss.

Okay.

Come on back.

Since you're so sweet,
you can have just a little--

Aah!

[GIGGLING]

Hi-yah!

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

What are you doing?

Sergeant Sausage is present
and ready for duty, okay?

Prepare for insertion.

[LAUGHS]

Wait. At ease.

Sergeant Sausage,
Veda's a vegetarian.

Look, just calm down
and close your eyes, all right?

It ain't gonna take but a minute
while I'm up in it.

So I'm marrying
the minute man now, huh?

You knew that going in.

Kid, stop.

What?

VEDA:
The wedding is days away.

I know. And my nuts are
as blue as these sheets.

Come on, hit a nigger off.

I'll hit you, all right.

[MAKING MARTIAL ARTS
NOISES]

[RINGING]

MACHINE:
Hi, this is Shireen
from The Good Girls--

Come on, baby, let it run.

Can't be anybody important.
I'm already here.

Oh, uh-huh. I got to get it.
It might be about a job.

STINKY:
Yo, hey, hey, hey,
wake up, Play.

Shit.

Hey, girl,
I know he's there.

I don't know
why your fine ass

is wasting your time
with him anyway.

You need to be chillin'
with me.

Because, girl, I'll lick you
like an ice cream cone

on a hot summer's day.

Damn, you a fine girl.

It's your friend
that's not potty-trained.

It's my cousin. Someone's got
to look out for him.

Or just look out.

Boy, you sure look good
this morning.

You're missing something
though.

Check this out.

Aw, yeah.

Now...

Talk to me.

What's up for breakfast?

Talk to me.

Talk to him. Give to him.

I'll tell you,
based on the color scheme,

I think this looks
better on you.

STINKY:
We got to get ready to pick up

Kid's dread-head cousins
from the airport

and then we got to plan
the bachelor party.

And then we need to talk about
my 50, 50, 50 fractions

of Kid and Play's productions
that you guys owe me

for my personal
services, man.

Stinky, if you go to school
like your mother wants,

you'd understand
the business more,

The percentages
instead of the fractions.

And right now I'm trying
to close a very important deal.

I'm gonna have to get
with you later, Stinky.

KID:
I'm not asking for much.

Hook me up with some of
that French toast you be makin'.

When you have it stacked up.

And just laying on the side,
the strawberries.

Chillin'.

VEDA:
I've never made
any French toast.

You have me confused
with Sydney again.

Damn.

Uh, ha, ha. Check it out.
You know what happened?

Let me tell you. I was trippin'.
I made a mistake.

See, what had happened was,
that was Play.

Okay? And he had gone
to France,

right, with his girl,

and at one point
they made a toast.

So it was a French toast.

Don't even try it, Kid.

People do not toast
with malt liquor,

and that is all
I have ever seen Play drink.

You're busted.

What's up with you?

When we started going out,

you promised me
we could make demo.

A demo? Come on, baby,
I can do better than that.

I'm hooking you up with one
of the largest promoters ever,

a brother
by the name of Showboat.

I'm gettin' with him
this morning.

Yeah, right.

That's right.

And, um, I hope when
we give you that call,

that surprise call,
that you're ready.

Play.

Yep.

Play.

What?

Oh...

I sure hope Kid's cousins
have bus fare.

Oh, Janelle is throwing me
a little party Friday night.

Nothing big.
Just a few of the girls.

Perhaps some wine.

A male stripper.

Well, have a good time.

Let me know what went down
with that, all right?

VEDA:
Okey-dokey.

Yoo-hoo.

Yes, darling?

Did you male dancer?

No. I said stripper.

Wh--? Oh, my bad.
Stripper.

Janelle got some guy
named Night Heat.

Night Heat?

Night Heat.

She thought the girls
would get a kick out of it.

Can I kick Janelle?

No, you can't.

In the organ of my choice,
repeatedly?

No, you can't,
because she will kick back.

I can't have you two
kicking each other.

See you later.

Johnny Booze, what's up?
Yeah, it's Playtime.

We got to make this brief,
'cause I'm calling from the car.

Yeah, my boy,
his bachelor party.

That's right.
Of course I got the dough.

Yo, just get a pen out, man.

Friday night
at the Densmore Hotel.

That's right.
Now, who you got?

Angina Williams?

Angina-- Angina Williams?
Yo, ain't that the girl

that does the disappearing act
with the beer bottles?

Bet. Perfect for Kid.

Yo, good lookin' out, man.
Don't let me down.

All right cool.
Peace out, black.

Yo, Angina Williams, man.
Tell me something.

How did your fowl ass
pull some move like that?

I keep trying to tell you
and Kid. It's the American way.

BOY:
Excuse me, sir.

Yes, can I help you?

Sir, we just flew in
from Detroit

to perform in front
of some senior citizens,

and all our luggage
is gone.

Our show clothes.

My CD player.

George.

George? Who's George?

You know. George.

His teddy bear.

CLERK:
Oh, your teddy bear.

Gee, I'm so sorry,
but I know how it feels.

My Slinky died two years ago.

I still wake up crying.

This is an insurance form.

You know how to fill it out,
don't you?

You write down
"Socks, $50,000."

And you were carrying a car
in your suitcase.

May God bless you.

Oh, and God bless you too.

Sorry about the eye.
Did you lose that also?

Yo, yo, yo, slow down.
Pull over here.

What for?

Just pull over.
We got to get our luggage, fool.

Yo, I thought they lost
your luggage.

Nah, stupid. You think we dumb
enough to lose our luggage?

We were just trying to make
some more vacation money.

You know, to bring
some girls to Hawaii.

Do you know what you punks did
is against the law?

You could end up
in juvie hall.

That's the first stop
to the big house.

Know what they do to boys
in the big house?

Make little girls out of them.

When we get there, we'll say
hello to your low-life friends.

Take us to Capital Records,
MCA, Motown and Virgin Records,

to let everybody know
that Immature is in the house.

The only house
you're gonna be in

is the house you'll be
in all summer on punishment.

You ain't cuttin' up
like you did last summer,

you understand me?

[♪♪]

Yo, watch the finish.

Watch the finish.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.
The wild bunch is here.

Yo, what's up fellas?
What's going on?

What's up, man?

All right.

LUCY:
Well, well, well.

Hello, Aunt Lucy.
What's up, Veda?

Aunt Lucy, these are your
brother Petey's grandchildren.

If you say so.

Honey, your pants
are too big,

but Aunt Lucy gonna
take care of that.

Play and Stinky, I brought
some lunch. It's on the table.

BOTH:
Oh, word.

That's what I'm talking about.
And I hope everybody ate,

'cause I ain't saving
a damn thing.

Fellas, I want you
to meet my fiancée Veda.

Hi guys. Oh, you're so cute.

Look at your little dreads.

I don't which one of you
is the cutest.

You pretty cute
yourself too.

Damn, Kid, I didn't know
you had it going on like this.

She is fine.

Hey, Kid, what happened
to that big booty girl?

The one
you went to college with.

Ooh, look at the time.

We have a meeting today
that we're late for.

We have a meeting,
so we have to go.

And we're late.
Uh, Play, Stinky. Play.

You know, the big booty girl.
I think her name was Sydney.

Play, Stinky, we got a meeting.
Come on, let's roll.

Well, what's with all
these worms in your head, boy?

I hope you left some food
for the little ones.

Of course, we did, Aunt Lucy.
Of course, we did.

Now, well,
of course, I did.

Now, Veda said you could have
something to eat.

She didn't say go and eat up
all that Chinese food.

It was fried chicken,
Aunt Lucy.

Hush your mouth.

Chinese people don't eat
fried chicken.

What?

Kid, I'm telling you
right now,

we're going sell
Sex As A Weapon to Showboat.

Wait a minute, we haven't
even signed them yet.

I thought we were having
this meeting to find out

if he was even
interested.

Come on, Kid, you know
I got the skills, man.

We're gonna get
the girls to sign.

We gonna sell them to Showboat.
It's the American way.

Selling what you don't own.
I do it all the time.

This could backfire, man.
This could backfire big time.

Play, don't you know what
you're doing is against the law?

Keep it up,
and you'll end up in the joint,

in the cell next to ours.

Yeah.

Just once.

Come on,
just once, man.

Let me just hit him once,
you know?

Whoo.

[♪♪]

Okay, have a seat, guys.
Have a seat.

Look, now, we're here
on business, all right?

I want you to act like
you got some home training.

Tsk, man, we know
how to act in public.

All right, I don't wanna have
to hurt you.

SHOWBOAT:
No, I told you
I'm not hearing that.

Look, I'll come over there
and slap your mouth.

You better get my money.
I'm not playing, boy.

Get my money. Get it now.

PLAY:
Showboat, what's up?

Hey, hey, fellas. Fellas.

Let's make some money.
Talk to me quick.

Whoo!

Uh, Showboat...

Hey, yo, move that shit
off the table.

Thanks, slice.
Go ahead.

Uh, Showboat, we really
wanna work with you.

We have what we believe to be
a solid business proposition

that'll prove to be lucrative
for all parties involved.

Well, I like it
so far.

You know that girl group
Sex As A Weapon, right?

Oh, them girls
are on, slice.

Well, it just so happens
we signed them

into an exclusive contract
yesterday, man.

And, um, we wanna go
on tour.

And we wanna do business
with you.

You know, I got a 12 city tour
of the Chitlin Circuit.

Uh, we about to start
right now.

And you know,
a group like Sex As A Weapon

could set that baby
on fire.

Give me three G's,
and we got a deal.

Wait. Why do I need
to go through you?

I'm the man.

Shit, Play, you ain't
nothing but a sucker MC.

And Kid,
your jelly ain't shit.

Stinky, well, I think
the names speaks for itself.

Yo, my name ain't Stinky,
it's James.

[DOG BARKS]

Getting all excited.

You don't seem to understand,
Sex As A Weapon ain't doing jack

without our say so.

Uh, uh, what he means
to say, Showboat,

is that, uh, they respect
our opinions with regard

to their career moves.

Yo, Kid, cut all that bullshit
out, man.

You obviously don't know
who you dealing with.

How you work
this thing?

I know who I'm dealing with,
and it better be local.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello.

Yeah, this is Play.
Uh...

Say hello
to the man himself, Showboat.

Showboat, I can't believe
it's for real.

Yeah, shit's unbelievable, baby.
I know. Go ahead. Go ahead.

PLAY:
Uh, we talking about
a 12 city tour, sweetheart.

And, um, all you got
to do is say yes,

and Play will take care
of the rest.

[SCREAMS]

There it is.

Um, you know what?
I'll bring home the condoms...

I'm sorry, I'll bring home
the contracts tonight, baby.

Keep it clean.

Hook them up,
Ms. Pain.

Hook me up.

Uh, aren't there a few things
we should discuss

before we start taking
Showboat's money?

PLAY:
What are you talking--?

Kid, ain't nothing
but a G thing, baby.

We all adults here.
Showboat trust us.

He's a businessman.
We are businessmen's.

Ah, you are
a silly motherfucker.

Showboat
don't trust shit.

No, no, no,
my daddy always said

don't trust nobody but your mama
and then cut the deck.

Fuck that. Make sure you do
what you say you gonna do.

You got my money, boy.

Oh, oh, oh.
One more thing.

Go have a good time.

But look, look,
whatever you do,

you can talk about my mama,
steal my car, take my jewelry,

but don't mess
with my money.

Oh, when you do that,
you done...

Then you messin'
with the wrong G.

The wrong G.

Now, um, here's the list of
those 12 cities we talked about.

Uh, make sure
you have those girls

sign that contract
by tomorrow.

And until then, heh,
let's make some money.

It was just really nice
this morning, you know.

Kid had his reunion
with his little cousins.

And they are three
of the cutest little boys

you ever want to see,
until one of them asked Kid

what happened
to the big booty girl

he used to date
in college.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, yes, he did.

Was he talking about Sydney?

Don't say that "S" word.

Oh. Not with this day
I've been having.

Not only that.

Kid kept going on about
how good my French toast is.

But you don't like
French toast.

Veda, you're my baby cousin,
and I love you.

But if you're having
second thoughts about this,

then maybe you ought
to keep on thinking.

You're more than welcome
to continue living with me.

I love having you.

No, if Kid
were not ready,

he would not have saved
for our condo.

Bought me this ring.
He could have a car.

Janelle, I am wearing
the man's car.

He announced
our engagement, not me.

He never got this far
with Sydney.

Yeah, that's because Sydney
had some sense.

[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

Okay, guys. Guys, guys,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Calm your nerves.
Have a seat. Have a seat.

All right? Just sit down and do
whatever Stinky tells you.

You sit down too.

I keep telling you I ain't
no babysitter for these kids.

I need to be trying
to impress them girls.

Play,
take me with you, man.

They look at me,
they'll sign that contract.

Stinky, do me a favor.
Either wash your ass

or sit the hell down
and shut up.

KID:
Please.

Hi, Kid.

Hi, Kid.

Uh, I mean, hi, ladies.

Know what? We need to talk
in a better business atmosphere.

So why don't we kick it
in the ball with some drinks?

Our treat.

Right this way.
Right this way.

Please.

Ooh, this is what
I'm talking about.

Getting down
to the real nitty-gritty.

Some business.

Some ballistics, y'all.

He's right.

Real business.

Business minds.
Big money.

Business. Kid.

Kid?

Uh.

Oh. I'm sorry.

You got to excuse my friend,
he's zoning out.

This weekend,
he's getting married.

And, um, you know,
we're planning

a big bachelor party
for him on Friday.

You know what?

Why don't you come down
and help me change his mind?

Well, anyway, for starters,
uh, let's get some drinks.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

That's French,
you know? Heh.

MAN:
Can I take
your drink order?

Um, I'd like a Slow Screw
Against the Wall.

Ooh. I'll have
a Sex on the Beach.

You know what? I can take care
of these orders myself.

Beat it, Benson.

Oh, before you go, uh,

we'll have two tap waters
with ice.

Domestic with a twist.

♪ Aw, yeah ♪

♪ Immature's in the house ♪

♪ Ready to tear it up ♪

♪ With the help
Of the boys and the band ♪

♪ We gonna kick a little
something like ♪

♪ Something like this ♪

♪ Three small brothers
You might call pint sized ♪

♪ Kickin' the rhythm
Down before your eyes ♪

♪ Don, Jerome
And my name is Marcus ♪

♪ Steppin' to the stage
You know we gonna spark this ♪

♪ Microphone
'Cause the heat is on ♪

We generated quite a bit
of heat with your demo.

Frankly,
we're very confident

that we can get you
a label deal.

We want you
to sign with us.

Yo, cut the bull.

Sign with us, pow,
12-city tour,

that's the way we roll.

Hello.

BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Pow.

And there it is.

A twelve-city tour
for real?

PLAY: That's right.

Hold up.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait.

A twelve-city tour
just might be all right

if we go to places
like Montreal,

New York, D.C., okay?

That's what I'm talking about.

BOTH: Say what? Say huh?

I like that.

Ah, heh, well,
here's the itinerary, heh.

All right. Now.

Bugtussle, Oklahoma?

Stand Back, Alabama?

Nigger keep running,
Mississippi?

Not even...

Hold up.

Hold up.

Y'all niggers
ain't gonna play us like that.

You all know we roll
like filet mignon.

And you all trying to play us
out like some soybean burgers.

Brah. We have
better things to do.

Who's she calling?

WOMAN:
This is Collette, mm-hm.
Sex As A Weapon.

Yes, we're ready
to do business.

You know what, guys, um,

I think it's fair
to let y'all know

we been meeting with
Coldblood management and--

Coldblood?
He's a crook.

That punk will rob you
for all the loot you make.

Straight up and down,
on the reals.

WOMAN:
I don't know what
y'all talking about.

He said that he would
get us a Mustang 5.0.

What did you say?

5.0?

Okay.

Mm-hm.

COLETTE: Cinco pointo zero.

Okay, uh, for starters
we could hook you up

with a budget
for your wardrobe.

For your wardrobe,
for your first tour.

GIRLS [IN UNISON]:
No.

Coldblood said he'd give us
our own fashion designer.

That's all you want?
We got the best in the west.

We're talking
Aunt Lucy's Fashions.

♪ Funky freestylin'
That's with 3D ♪

♪ Run home and tell
All your friends what we did ♪

♪ Mixing hip-hop
With this thing called jazz ♪

♪ Simply put
You can kiss my ♪

♪ Ask me no questions
I tell you no lies ♪

♪ That's how this thing goes
Kicking it with the lingo ♪

♪ Crispy like a Pringle ♪

He already guaranteed us
4.34 percent

of the venue gross receipts
based on generally accepted

industry account
practices.

So.

Okay.

We anticipated that you could
at least give us 4.5 percent.

You know
what I'm saying?

To fatten the pockets
and put the cash in my hand.

Sound good to me.

PLAY:
That might not be a problem.

Wait, wait. Okay.
All right, um, all right.

If Coldblood's
gonna go there,

perhaps we can adjust
these figures

so that we're looking at...

Shit.

Uh, wait, wait,
wait a minute. Okay.

Perhaps we can, uh,
perhaps we can, um...

Wait, wait,
we changed the figures

to reduce
some of our overhead.

Uh, flip it.
Uh, carry the three.

And then
we're looking at...

Hell no.

[SIGHS]

Wait, wait, wait, all right.
Hold up a second.

All right. How about this?
We give you Play's cut,

so that we're looking at--

You're buggin'. Check this out.
It's gonna be a G per show.

We'll take care of all the hotel
and the travel arrangements.

That's as fair as it get.
I'm putting my foot down.

Well, ladies,
lookie here.

BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Lookie here, lookie here.

Looks like Coldblood's deal

is a little bit better
than this one.

And when you all become big-time
and can beat that 5.0.

Give us a call.

You know what?
It's too bad too

because I was just about
to make me a new friend.

Sorry for you.

Wait a minute.
We can work this out.

Heh.

Yo, hey, hey, yo.

See you, bye.

Slow.

Damn, man,
we almost had them, man.

Aunt Lucy's Fashions?

♪ We're just here to give
A kick in the booty ♪

♪ So feel free
To make a contribution ♪

That's right,
you heard the kids.

We available for children's
parties, Bar Mitzvahs,

sweet sixteen's,
weddings, anything.

Just put some money in the hat.
It's for the kids.

Come on, man, do something
for the kids, huh?

Heal the world.
You know what I'm saying?

Just for the kids, you know?

Hey, who put a food stamp
in the hat?

MAN [ON PHONE]:
Hey, Yo, what up?

This is Ex-Con Caterer
where we do chicken right.

You know, something like
the warden used to,

whether you like it
or not.

I remember, one time
I was in jail,

I didn't eat the food,
they locked me in the hole.

Six weeks down there
wondering why.

Nobody came to visit.
No phone calls.

No nothing. I'm just
down there storming

because I didn't eat
the damn food.

I ain't got to eat the food
the warden give me.

Chill out. We got the pardon.
We free.

Chill out.

Hey, who the hell
is this?

Oh, how you doing,
mama?

What you want?
200 pounds of chilies

for Saturday night.

You got it. No problem.

Hey.

Oh, look, what the fuck
we got here.

Three mark-ass
nappers.

Fuck all that. what's up
with my order for Friday, huh?

It depends on
what your bitch ass get.

What the fuck you want,
some chilies,

some cheese, spam, tuna,
some tomatoes?

What the fuck
you want?

Look out.
Look out, punk.

Come on in, Big Dukey.

Big Dukey?

Dukey.

Yo, man, it's obvious
this ain't no Benihana's.

Know what I'm saying?
Man, this is all we want.

Some chicken wings, hot dogs
and a case of 40s. Got that?

First of all, you need
to calm the fuck down

and go gargle, funky.

Man, my name is Stinky.
Stinky, all right?

Stinky, funky, smell bad,
it's all the same.

Fuck all that, nigga,
your name is Funky

because you come up in here
smelling like butt crack.

Yo, squash all that.
The food better be on.

You hear
what I'm saying?

Look at this nigga,
Mr. Bowler, Mr. High Roller,

Mr. Flashing Fucking Money.

Since you got it like that,
punk, pay a nigga now.

You got my food now?

Or maybe do you have
my food now?

That's what I'm saying.

Dumb shit.

Let me tell you something.

You don't come in
making no goddamn demands.

We will fuck around
your punk ass on the grill.

Straight make
some barbecued bitch.

No, bake all three punk asses,
make three-bitch pie now.

Why don't we just give them
all the money now?

Yo, forget that,
Kid, man.

The original deal
was a deposit.

I refused to be intimidated
by these three losers.

That's bullshit, man.
It's just bullshit.

Especially some midget
like you, hairy bastard.

Kick it, cuz.

Look here, motherfucker,

I'll kick you in your nuts
and make your jaw swell.

You think you want more,
you punk-ass, niggers, huh?

Just give them the money.

No, Kid.

Look, okay.

Just have the food there.
Thank you.

Yo, the food better be on.

Your sister better be on.

Your mother's on.

Your grandmama's straight on.

PLAY:
Check this out.

After this tour you two
are gonna be the bomb.

You're gonna blow up.

Trust me. Trust me.

Now you're gonna remember
to listen

to that tape
I gave you, right?

Of course, I listen to
anything worth holding onto,

and believe me you two
definitely got something

I got to get my hands on.
Word up, you know?

Talent scouting
again, huh, heh.

Play,
you workaholic.

Know what? I gotta take care
of something real quick.

I'll get right back at you.
We're gonna get into this.

We're gonna get
into this.

Janelle, what's up,
sweetheart?

Tell me something,
Play.

Doesn't it ever
bother you?

What?

Misleading women
the way you do.

Misleading women?

Yeah.

Janelle,
they are a group.

I am a manager.

In the entertainment business,
they work together.

I'm working with them.

Come on, now,
you know my style.

And helping yourself to some
while you're at it, right?

You coming off like they're
supposed to be helpless females.

I mean, let's think
about it here,

has it occurred to you that
perhaps they're enjoying this

just as much as I am?
Ever thought about that?

Yeah, I have,
and it frightens me.

Look, the sooner
we get this started,

the sooner I can
get out of here.

Now, did you reserve
the tuxes for the ushers?

Yes, I reserved the tuxes
for the ushers

and I'm gonna pay
for them too.

That's the least you could do.
The bride pays for everything.

And it'll be the last thing
she pays for.

After that ring
is on her finger,

that's her carte blanche
to do what she pleases.

While my man's
breaking his back,

because she turns
to the gimme gimme girl.

I knew
you was primitive,

but I didn't think
you was a pure caveman.

I guess it goes down like that
with those gold-digging,

hoochie-mama, gut bucket
skeezas you attract,

but tell me something, what
do you really have to offer?

I mean, really?

Well, it just so happens
that what I have to offer

might be more than
you can handle, Janelle.

And when you are ready
to become a full-fledged woman,

why don't
you give me a call?

Baby, I'm full,
I'm fledged,

and I'm all woman,

but I need
more than a snack.

I need a whole meal.

Janelle, sweetheart,

woman, I'll have
you talking in tongues.

Tsk.

I gotta go.

I'll bet you do.

You done lost your mind.

And uh, speaking of tongues,

like I said,
you two are gonna be big.

Man, I ain't got
no money.

I got to get
the millionaire's fund.

Come on,
multiplatinum.

Oh, multiplatinum, baby,
I'll be rich.

Oh, you'll be
paid today.

Pay him up.

You pay him up, punk.

Everybody pay me up.
Come on. Both of you pay.

What's up, guys?
What's going on?

What's up, cousin Kid?

What kind of game is that?

The music biz.

Yep.

The music biz.

This one's
a concert promoter.

Yeah, this beautiful woman
right here is,

Mm-mm, unh.

is a groupie.

See, Kid, we're ready.

We got the game down.

Now it's about
getting paid big-time.

You know real money.

KID:
Look, it's not easy, okay?

I've been in the music business
four years now

and it doesn't get
any easier.

It's very difficult.

And you have to work
really hard.

Don't worry, Kid.
We're smart.

We see how to do it wrong
by watching you and Play.

[KIDS CHUCKLE]

Y'all some good teachers.

[SCOFFS]

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Hey, boy!

KID: Uncle Vester.

Kid.

Aunt Lucy.

Oh.

Look at that woman there.

Lord have mercy.

Oh, Vester, heh, it's so good
to see you, ha, ha.

Come here, woman.

Oh.

There.

I'm over here.

[BOTH LAUGH]

How you doing?

Heh.

You still crazy
as a betsy bug,

Heh.

and looking good too, woman.

Like a sandwich.
What's up, Kid?

You're the yellow version
of your pappy.

Aunt Lucy... Mm.

Damn.

Boy, I miss your father.

KID:
So do I.

Damn. I wish
he was here.

Me too, Uncle Vester.

Besides, he owe me a $150.

Uncle Vester,
do you remember me?

Do I remember you?
Let me tell you.

Last time, boy, I saw you,
you was his size,

and last time, boy,
I saw you,

you was his size,
and last time I saw you,

there was doo-doo
in your drawers.

Hey, man,
you just got here,

don't be sweating me like that.

VESTER: Sweating.

I ain't began to sweat you.

First thing tomorrow, we're
going down to Elmo's barbershop

and cut that Jamaican voodoo
stuff off of your head.

You better regulate your uncle
before I bust a cap in his butt.

What you say to me?

What you say to me, boy?
Let me tell you something.

I said Uncle Vester
cool like that.

That's what
I thought you said, heh.

That's what
I thought you said.

You right. Aunt Lucy, heh,
I bought you something.

You know I can't come

Oh.

without bringing you anything.

You didn't.

Hey, my favorite auntie,
heh, yeah.

Ha, ha, you know I did.
Look here. This is for you.

Oh, Vester.

Heh, ha, ha.

Isn't that beautiful?

If lost, please return to
1637 Blast Ave., Los Angeles.

Vester.

Sit down.

Okay, look, all right.
All right.

I think it's about
that time, guys.

Let's go to bed,
and we'll play tomorrow.

I'll take them
upstairs, come on.

Where's the stairs,
honey?

The stairs are right
where they've always been.

Okay.

Doggone right.

Ten o'clock. Supposed to be
in bed any doggone way.

Only my Kool-Aid
don't know the flavor.

Ain't my business.

So, boy, you're getting
married, man.

So tell me about
your financee. Is she pretty?

Oh, my fiancée?

Yeah.

KID:
Ooh, oh, she's very pretty.

Can she cook?

Oh, yes, she can cook.

You, you don't have...
She ain't knocked up, is she?

No, no.

Good. Good.

Well, you got
Uncle Vester's blessings.

Uncle Vester gonna go upstairs.
I'm kind of tired.

Uncle Vester, before you go,
I wanted to ask you something.

What you need, son?

Well, see, my girl and I,

we get along fine.

Uh-huh.

But I'm just having
a little problem

getting her parents to like me.

Parents?

Why get 'em to like you for?
Boy, just be yourself.

If people don't like you
if you're being yourself,

fuck them.

Let me tell you something.

I just got a girl
when I was about your age.

I always tried to please
her pappy all the time,

went out of my way
to please her pappy.

I come in one day, I said,
"Nice weather we have,"

and he said,
"You can't say that.

You can't say that.
It might rain."

I said,
"Nice tie you got on."

He said you can't say that.
My wife tried to choke me with.

The point I'm trying to
tell you, son, is be yourself.

People don't like
being yourself, fuck them!

Fuck them up
against the wall

with handcuffs on
and Krazy Glue on their lips.

That's all you do.

Hmm.

Words to live by.

Live by them, son.

Um, I'm gonna go to the club
now, uh, Uncle Vester,

and just go.

VESTER:
You go on
and enjoy yourself, boy.

You're about to sell your soul
in a couple of days.

Brother,
you did a good job.

It's a good kid.

Always been a good kid.

That's why I call him Kid,
heh.

Boy just need some
goddamn fun

like Casper
the friendly ghost.

Scared the hell out of me
when I came here.

Mm.

Mm!

[MAN RAPPING
OVER HIP-HOP MUSIC]

♪ I pick up the microphone
Like a slip of Cincy ♪

♪ Rhythm is so we can roll
We got it goin' on, G ♪

♪ Word to the mama
You concur and agree ♪

♪ So come select
With some versatility ♪

[RAPPING INDISTINCTLY]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

PLAY: What's up, Black?

Party's in the house.

What's up, Black?
What's up, my queen?

Yo, Kid, R.A.S. Posse
is working it, man.

[RAPPING CONTINUES]

Who needs
Sex As A Weapon, man?

Come on, think about it,
we got enough dope groups.

WOMAN: Hey, Kid.

Hello.

I hear you're getting married.
Too bad.

Oh, no, no.
He's not married yet.

He hasn't jumped
the broomstick yet.

She's intense.

Uh-uh, thanks, but no,
thanks, Maxine.

I'm already taken.

Okay.

But if you change your mind,

call me.

Yo, man, you done
crossed over, man.

Any natural man
would've waxed that ass, man.

You and this Veda thing,
all she is going to do is

ask you to jump, and
you going to go, "How high?"

Look, don't you get it?
I love Veda, okay?

I'm getting married to her.

I'm just trying to go into
the situation right, thank you.

Yo, Kid,
you've changed, man.

I just hope after you get
married we can still...

What?

What?

Tsk, oh, man.

Yo, man, where's
the fruit basket?

Right there, King.

Oh, yeah.
I fucked her.

[ALL LAUGHING]

MAN: Oh, man, you know you
ain't seen no part of that ass.

Let me check it out.
Let me check it out.

[SNIFFS]

No ass!

[ALL LAUGHING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Come in.

Yo. You guys were dope,
man.

Yo, you all blew up.
You, did you see that crowd?

We didn't see shit.

Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, sorry.

I guess you heard them,
at least.

Yo, we got a big show
next week.

What's up?
You all ready?

Yo, man, that kid Coldblood
jerked us again, man.

Yo, I'm telling we should've got
the dough up front.

Now we're short.

Well, somebody better pay us
some money up in here

or there's gonna be
some ass whooping.

Yeah.
I got your back, MC Cataract.

Wait a minute. We ain't
got to go there, man.

Just put the gun down.
Calm down.

You need to kill that noise.
We gonna tighten you up

with a little something, man.

Mm-hm.

Heh.

Oh. Oh, no, no.
This is the wrong president.

[GUN COCKS]

Come on, man.

Here, you guys.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Uh-huh.

Heh. Ben Franklin.
Ha, ha.

I'm with it.
Yeah, ha-ha-ha.

It's not wise to mess with
three brothers with big sticks.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Now, let's go find
some of those honeys.

Yeah, man, we're going to get--

This way, baby.

Oh, yeah. Over there.
Oy, 119th and Avalon.

Oh, let's go.

That's where they are.

Where the girls?

Hey, take this.

Oh, I got it. I got it.

Oh, yeah.

Yo, come on. Let's go.

No, no, no,
I ain't going nowhere

till these brothers are
off the streets, man. Word up.

Oh-ho,
let's go get those honeys.

CATARACT: Woo-hoo. Yeah.

MAN: Ha-ha-ha.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO]

Yo, Play, man,
I've been thinking.

We've been at this music thing
for a while now, man,

and we still ain't got
two nickels to rub together.

Veda's parents have been
stressing me, man,

stressed me about
getting a real--

Oh, don't say that.

Don't say the "J" word.
Don't say that "J" word, man.

I'm gonna say it. Job,
motherfucker, job.

And maybe they're right.
I mean, it's not like

I can just think about
myself anymore.

I'm gonna have
a wife soon.

She got a job too, don't she?

Nigga.

Come on, man, we got to put
this back in perspective, man.

I mean, you know, come on,
think about it.

Look out there.
What do you see?

A wino sleeping
in his own vomit?

Not that, man.
I mean, look out there, man,

we in the land of LA,
man, Hollywood, man,

where dreams come true.

They just don't come true
like that.

There's hard work
and perseverance, man.

Am I just going crazy?
Didn't we have a dream?

Remember?

Yeah, I remember.

But look,
I'm getting older now.

Would you believe I've even
thought about cutting my hair?

Oh, this is more serious
than I thought.

It gets worse.
The other day I went out

shopping to buy some gear.
I almost bought a tie.

Wait. You're
making me nauseous now.

Yo, man, I know
we've been through a lot,

I don't always come through,

but this one
I feel real good about, man.

Just give me a little time
on this one, man.

You know what?
I'll make a deal with you.

Straight up and down.

If I don't come through
with Sex As A Weapon,

I'll go get a haircut with you
and I'll get matching ties.

Deal?

You serious?

[SIGHS]

Isn't this food wonderful?

It sure is, Aunt Lucy.

It's fit for a King.
Come here, King!

[IMITATES
DOG BARKING]

Come here, boy.
Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, I thought
King was dead.

Ugh. My pancakes
is black.

Ugh, so is my eggs.

Yeah.

It's Cajun style.

If this is Cajun,
I'm Caucasian.

The boys are right.
This food is awful.

Cajun is an acquired taste.

That's why didn't
nobody order it.

KID 1: What about breakfast?

Yeah, I'm hungry.

KID 2: Oh, yeah.

Look.

There. Breakfast.
It's the best I can do.

Look, if I don't get out here
and get to my meeting,

I'm not gonna get paid.

I got to get out of here too.
I got me a date.

You do?
And who's the lucky lady?

The chef at
Rollo's Chicken 'n' Grits House.

I'm hungrier than a horse.
I'm getting out of here.

So, Kid, you're going
to let us bust

our little rap
at your bachelor party?

Yeah, Kid. You know
that's why we're here.

See, we look at it,
is the party gonna be

filled with big-booty girls,
honeys, tenders, you know?

KID:
Hello? Hello? Look.

Fellas, there are not gonna be
any honeys at the party.

Just the fellas.
Just the fellas.

So get it out of your head.

Just calm down, relax

and get ready
for the wedding. Okay?

See, I told you Kid 'n Play
are played out, man.

Just like this food.
We out of here, man.

No, no, wait a minute.
Sit down. Wait.

Boys, boys, come back here
and eat this food.

Don't you want to grow tall?

Get them, Aunt Lucy.

Hit them in the throat
with the stick.

Bust their head! I hate them.
You know, Aunt Lucy, man.

She still thinks Sammy Davis
is sleeping in the guest room.

You know, she's a couple
of salads away from a picnic.

Look, I'm proud
of you, boy.

I'm proud of what you did
with the youngsters.

You sat there and you told
them kids, man,

that there won't be any women
at that bachelor party.

I'm proud of you.

But I know there's gonna be
a few women

at that bachelor party.

Look, Veda is the only woman
for me.

I'm trying to go
into this marriage right.

No women.

Boy, nobody is talking about
no women for you.

I'm talking about some women
for me. What's wrong with you?

Ah, look, I'm sorry.
Look, uncle--

I'm sorry for you. Go on.

Uncle Vester, I gotta go.

Boy, you had to go on
and get a white woman,

now you're gonna wreck
this man.

The boy ain't worth
two day of flash mess.

You know, Uncle Kid
is dissing us, man.

Who you're telling? He won't
even listen to our demo.

Yeah, he won't even let us go
the bachelor party.

Eh, yo, yo, Jerome.
Peep this out, dude.

JEROME:
Hey, we definitely got
to get with them.

So here on in,
we're doing our own thing.

[BOTH SINGING]

Hey, baby,
you dropped something.

What?

Your conversation.

So let's pick it up
right here.

Pfft, give me
a break.

Why you all dressed
like twins?

GIRL 1:
We go to private school,
fetus face.

Oh, we go to
Detroit Public School.

Now how did
I know that?

Listen, we're staying at that
house over across the street.

Sixteen thirty seven,
Blast Ave.

Friday night we got
the crib to ourselves. Heh.

And we were just thinking
about having a little party.

Yeah.

A serious throw down,

Detroit-style.

Hey, bring your messed butt
over here!

Before I have
to kill somebody.

Every summer
I have to kill somebody.

I'm tired of killing folks
every summertime.

[♪♪]

Excuse me.

I got a certified letter
for Mr. Marques James.

Oh, that's me.

Just sign right there.

Oh, yeah, lost luggage check.

We're gonna party now!

Ha, ha.

We're having
a party Friday night.

Why don't you come.
And oh yeah, wear that uniform.

Heh, yeah, because I like girls
with jobs and benefits, hmm.

Now, why would I wanna come
to a party

given by some little boys?

So I can show you
how deep love can get.

And, oh, yeah,
it can get deep.

[CHUCKLING]

Aren't you all cute.
Ha-ha-ha.

BOY 1:
Where you going, cutie?
Come back over here.

You want some candy?

Let's go, yeah?

Yeah.

Hey.

[ALL WHOOPING]

Open it up, man.

VESTER:
Close that goddamn door!

Air condition
the whole neighborhood!

Open it up.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Heh.

Three thousand dollars.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Oh, it's probably the mailman.

We'll get it.

[♪♪]

What's up, man?

What's up?

What's up?

Uh, where's
Kid and Play?

They ain't here.

They ain't here?

Where the hell
are they at?

Look, man,
we had a meeting here.

I ain't got time to wait. I got
to pick up money over here,

pick up money over here,

and I came to pick money
right here.

Look here. You tell them
when they get here

Johnny Booze stopped by
to pick up the money

for the Angina Williams,
okay?

That's the stripper
for the bachelor party.

Oh, yeah.

They told me that
you'll be stopping by

and to pay you
if you can pop this check.

Oh, let me see that.
Let me see that.

Money first.

Wait. I got money.

Don't play me like I ain't.
I handle mine.

Check it out.
Wait, man. I got more,

I got more right here.
Wait.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Oh.

Okay, all right.
All right, ooh, shit.

All right. Here we go.
Right here.

Same time, bro.
I don't know you, man.

Same time. I don't know you.
Okay. Same time.

Give me the check.

Now you know
the party is gonna be here

instead of hotel,
right?

Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool. Okay.

You tell Play

Angina gonna be here
Friday night, all right?

And look, you tell them
I need the rest of my money.

I owe people.

A Couple of my girls
got killed in a car wreck.

I need the money.

We know.

Shut up.

[♪♪]

Yo, that's the dancer
that Janelle hired

for Veda's party.
Yo, pull over, man.

I wanna peep this guy.

I can't let
any old muscle bound

booty shaking chump
dancing at my baby's party.

Come on.

Come on, Kid, be for real, man.

We got a lot to do, man.

We got three days to
the wedding. Three days, man.

We got no time to be worried
about, heh, the competition.

You know, Kid, man, dog,
I don't mean no harm, man.

Your shit's over, man.
Do you know who Night Heat is?

That's Henry Charles.
Think.

I went to high school
with him, man.

The boy is large.
Took showers with him, man.

His shit is huge.
He must be from Africa.

He said it's huge, man.

Wait a minute.
You checking out his jimmy?

No--

Look, Play,

Your cousin needs
some serious counseling.

There's no question
about that.

But seriously, sisters be
sweating that brother,

sweating him
something awful.

I'm telling you,
he drives the honeys crazy.

Look at that line.
Look at all those girls.

And guys in the line too.
You know how big it is.

Yo man, the wedding
might be off

when Veda peeps a peek at
the pole that brother's packing.

Try and say that three times.

Janelle, you're
my maid of honor, right?

Mm-hm.

Then why don't you have
your little butt over here

helping me figure out
who I'm gonna sit next to who?

Whoa, Veda.

This says that 50 percent

of all marriages
end in divorce.

Divorce.

And after only three years
of marriage

couples have sex
once a week.

Once a week.

And when they do,
they don't even like it.

Did you know, Janelle--

What?

That ever since Kid and I
announced our engagement,

well, you've changed.

I've changed?

You've changed.

I've changed?

You've changed.

I've changed?

Yes,

you have really been
dogging Kid out lately.

Because he is a dog.

He is not a dog.

He is a man. The man
that I'm going to marry.

Thank you.

Well, I know Play.

And Play is 100 percent
all dog.

Atomic dog. Mighty dog.

Underdog. Deputy Dog.

Snoop Dogg. And dog dog.

And everybody knows that
Kid and Play are like this.

Dogs of a feather.

Veda, girl, you look like
you just saw a ghost.

I did. It's Sydney.

Hi, Veda.

Heh, hi, Sydney.

I was in the neighborhood
and I decided to stop in

and browse and, um,

tsk,
really congratulate you

on your wedding.

Heh, thanks.
Heh, thanks a lot.

Um, this is my cousin and
business partner, Janelle.

Hi, nice to meet you.

JANELLE: Same here.

You guys have
a lot nice things in here.

VEDA:
Thank you.

I guess I have to buy
something then.

You know what?

Those earrings
we got in last week.

Perfect.

Heh.

They have Sydney written
all over them.

Let's see the Sydney earrings.

Ha, ha.

Heh, good.

That's a bad suit.

Thank you.

Oh, those are cute.
I like those.

Could you, uh, put those
in a box for me, please?

Sure will.

Veda, you know,
I'm really glad

Kid found someone
to love.

He had a really hard time
after we broke up.

It seems like
his management company

is doing really well

and you have
a beautiful shop here.

I'm glad you guys are happy.
I really am.

Could you give him my best,
please?

I sure will. And, um...

I wish you all the best
in DC and

good luck and success
and all that stuff.

And wear these in good health.

I will. I'll do that.

Take that with you. Heh

You take care of yourself.

All right? Bye bye.

All right. Thanks, Sydney.

Wow, heh,
I was wrong about her.

She really was nice.

Yeah.

And her booty
wasn't that big.

[HUMMING]

It's cute.

Who are you?

It's me, Aunt Lucy, Veda.

You just let me in, heh
five minutes ago.

Today?

Yeah, I'm taking some of
Kid's stuff over to our condo.

It's Veda.
Kid's fiancée.

Nobody tells me anything.

Oh.

Damn,
this is heavy.

Stinky.
Stinky. Stinky.

Come on, help us out.

I was playing.

Let me--

Take this.

I can't believe your cousin
is that lazy, Play.

I ain't lazy,
man.

Open the door.
This stuff is heavy.

PLAY:
Hard to believe
he's my cousin.

STINKY:
You won't. Come on.

Oh, he's your cousin,
all right.

[SHRIEKS]

I can deal with this.

This I can deal with.

Since the word got out
I'm getting married,

you wouldn't believe the play
I'm getting from the ladies.

Women that wouldn't
talk to me before.

I don't understand it.

PLAY:
At least act
like you know, man.

Women, that's just
how they're livin'.

Word, Play is right man.
Women are just like cats.

Finicky. When they
want you, they want you.

When you got a girl,
that's when they want you.

Oh, Stinky, what the hell
are you talking about?

Yeah, Stinky, since when did
you become an expert on women?

All you date
are fat girls.

See, that's
where you're wrong.

I don't date just fat girls.

I date skinny girls
on the verge of being fat,

fat girls on the verge
of being obese.

Matter of fact,
I'm dating your sister.

What's she, 380?
I'm taking her

to the slaughterhouse
to eat tonight.

That was unnecessary.

It was, I admit.

But why crush a guy's ego?
Y'all think you're all that.

You think you some kind
of Dark Gable or something, man.

PLAY: Well, suppose I am.

Well, suppose you ain't.

You know I'll pick up
your roster,

and I'm dating one
of your girls tonight.

You recognize 555-12-37?

Give me my beeper, fool.

What was up with you
and Maxine last night, man?

She was like all up
in your grill.

That girl is the bomb.

Heh. Yo.

You said that right.

That girl has the fattest
rump shake. I can't front.

PLAY:
I would've
waxed that ass, man.

I mean, you got
a couple of days.

And I was gonna save it
as surprise.

But through reliable sources,
through to grapevine,

Sydney's back in town.

And I know you wanna wax
that butt one more time.

One more time.
Just tear it up.

Just tear it up, man.

STINKY:
Hey, yo Kid, man, if you need
my crib for anything

to get away from Veda
or to get hold of Sydney,

hey man, just call me,
it's yours.

Look, guys, for the last time,
Sydney is yesterday's news.

I'm committed to Veda. Okay?
Let's go.

You going out.
Next thing you know,

you'll be watching
Oprah butt naked

eating bon-bons
with Veda.

[SIGHS]

Ooh, I know you gonna
look good

because you know you got it
going on.

Just too bad
you getting married.

I told you.

Hmm.

Now let's get just started.

[CHUCKLING]

You still shop
at the little boy's shop.

Don't you? Ha, ha.

You laugh now that I got a body
of a little boy, right?

But you know what,
I got the power of ten men.

You know what I'm saying.

PLAY: Tell her, cuz.

With them two big donuts
you got right there,

you can feed a starving child
in Somalia for a whole month.

Can I have one?

Please. Your mouth
don't open that big.

Besides, little man,
I'd use you like dental floss

and then I would
throw you away.

Ooh. That's all right.

But nine out of ten
dentists recommend me.

So, what's up?
Let me clean them teeth.

Please.
Let me measure a real man.

Hey, check it out.

Kid's bachelor party
is Friday night

at the Densmore Hotel.
How about you come on down

and bring
your two friends with you?

I'll put them
on the guest list.

Hey, don't go there.

Just how much are we
paying for these tuxes?

Hey, we ain't gotta go
there either.

I got this covered.

[♪♪]

Ho, ho, motherfucker,
the Showboat is back in town.

[BARKS]

Shit.

You can't bring
them animals in here.

Do you have a leash for her?

I got a funny feeling.

A real funny feeling
that you all took my money

and used it
for his bachelor party.

Check this out.

SHOWBOAT:
Let me tell you something.

If I don't get that contract
right now,

Ol' Cujo here is going
to give you three new assholes.

PLAY:
Uh, Showboat, come on, man.

We're supposed
to be boys, man.

I mean, I'm-a do good
by the contract.

You know that.
Hey, man, two days.

Trust me.

I told you,
the Boat don't trust shit!

Eat them, Cujo. get them!

WOMAN:
Hey, hey! not in here!

[DOGS BARKING]

[ALL YELLING]

SHOWBOAT:
You can run,
but you can't hide.

We'll get you later.
You'll see, we'll get you.

Hello. No, Marques
is at the playground.

All right.
Call back later, Tracy.

[PHONE RINGS]

Kid's Funeral Home,
you stab them, we grab them.

Uh, no, Marques isn't here,
Gina.

A party? No, they're not having
no party.

Can I ask how old you are?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You sound a little old
to be calling him.

All right, just call back
later, okay? All right.

AUNT LUCY: Hi!

VEDA: Is everybody ready?

I've got the engine running,
my mother has food on the table,

and we don't wanna keep
my mother waiting.

What a pretty girl.

I should introduce you
to my boy Kid.

Kid, you ought to marry
this girl.

She's much better for you
than that fiancée

you brought here
yesterday.

I mean, that girl
was way too tall for you.

Ha, ha. You're right,
Aunt Lucy.

I am
a better choice.

Oh, yeah, much better
than the girl

that wanted Night Heat
at her party.

Tsk.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah.
You know the one.

The one that thought
I was still hung up

on the big booty girl,
Sydney.

Ha, ha, I'll bet you she didn't
even make you French toast.

Come on, Aunt Lucy,
let's wait in the car.

Would you hurry up, please?

Where's Uncle Vester?

VESTER: Hey, hey, look.

Hey, woman.

Here we go. Hey.

Ooh, Good Lord, have mercy.

I wanna put you on a plate
with biscuits

and gravy and suck right up.

Whoo.

Aunt Lucy, wait.
That's not my car!

Mm.

You guys come in here.

Where have you guys been?
What took so long?

We just have to go
for our little daily walk.

Yeah, you got to get
that exercise.

Exercise yourself
on in that kitchen.

Get those dishes you left
this morning.

You got no dog
on this one.

Heh. So how do you feel,
boy?

Ah, Uncle Vester,
I'm still a little nervous.

This is such
a big night.

I just don't wanna do anything
that I'll regret.

Oh, son. We gotta talk
about that the other night.

What did I tell you?
Let that go. Be yourself.

We're going over there.
We're gonna be ourselves.

We'll show
you're educated.

Say Diddy hellos,
how to have good time tonight.

You gotta believe that.
Let it go.

Okay. All right.

All right.

You're not packing, are you?

You know I'm blessed.

I'm hung low. Stay out
of my personal business.

Who you with?

Uncle Vester.

Who you with?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I'll get it.

Hello!

Hey, yo, what up?

Can I speak to either
Kid or Play?

MARQUES [OVER PHONE]:
No, they ain't here.

This is Butcher
from the catering company.

Is the party still on?

Yeah, the party
is still going on.

Will you tell
Kid or Play that, um,

I ain't serve nobody until
I get the rest of my money.

MARQUES:
I guarantee you your money.

But you got to bring
the food here.

That's 1637 Blast Ave.

Oh, you want me
to bring the food there?

That's right
if you wanna get paid.

Okay. Bye.

Yeah, right.

Veda told me
you're down-home folk.

So I thought we'd have
a little soul food dinner,

something I'd know
you people would like.

I don't care what you serve
long on that occasion.

The food looks great, mom.

Oh, thank you, doll.

Have no plate?

Aunt Lucy, don't worry
about him not having no plate.

I got plenty of food for him.

Uh, Christopher,

I suppose
you haven't made it big

in the music business yet.

Oh, well, dad, uh,
my partner and I--

How did you expect
to support a wife?

And a baby,
you know she pregnant?

Pregnant? Lord have mercy.
See I knew it.

I knew I've been dreaming
about fish.

Fish? Fish, I sure hope
it's catfish.

No, mother.
I am not pregnant, heh.

Young man,
I was asking you a question.

Okay. Uh, well, Dad,
my partner and I,

we're involved in
some very promising ventures.

We have an up and coming
group name, R.A.S. Posse,

that we signed
to Arrest Records.

Now when they release them--

Release, R.A.S. Posse,
What are they, in jail?

Ugh, when they release
their album, mother.

And how do you expect to survive
until this R.A.S. Puss--

Posse makes it big?

In my day,
we used to have a saying:

No romance, heh,

without finance.

Now hold on there, freckles.

You got to have
a little bit more faith

in these young kids today.

Times are different when
you and I were out here

doing our thing. Now hand me
about four or five biscuits.

Oh, I'm hungry.

Oh, Vester.

What is your line
of business?

Unemployment line.

I'm a painter.

I'm an artiste.

Oh, really.

From what school?
Jacob Lord's? Beardon?

Uh, kitchen walls
and sinks, shit like that.

Oh, my God,
crayons and finger paints.

Wait a minute, mom.
You're being unfair.

You and Daddy
didn't have everything

when you first started out.

Yeah.

Yeah. But we worked hard

to get where we are today.

I bet you had whore
just to make ends meet.

I beg your pardon!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I knew,
I knew you.

Dammit to hell, I knew
your face was familiar to me.

Man, back in the days, your wife
just sucked the meanest.

Well, I know you know.
You're the lucky man.

You scum-sucking
son of a bitch!

That's my ho--
My wife you're talking about.

Kid, you're just gonna let them
talk to my parents like this?

I forgot you got other things
on your minds

like getting with Sydney
one more time.

Who said I was getting
with Sydney?

I heard your friend Stinky
talking this morning.

Oh, I don't believe you.

I don't believe Play
is at that window.

Go see what he wants.

AUNT LUCY:
You don't talk
to my nephew like this.

You don't talk
to my daughter like this.

AUNT LUCY:
What do you mean?

Come on, man,
what're you doing here?

Yo, man,
Showboat is bugging.

He tried to run me down
with the Benzo.

He wants the Sex As A Weapon
contract yesterday.

God, didn't I tell you
to get Boat his money? Didn't I?

You always getting me
into trouble.

Now it's on me.
You wanted a bachelor party.

I'm hooking you up.
What am I supposed to do?

Pay with my good looks?
What's wrong with you?

I didn't want
the bachelor party.

You wanted
the bachelor party.

Listen, you.
Listen, you, get back.

AUNT LUCY: Get back?

Step back, Satan.

I'll whammy-bammy
your ass.

[WOMEN YELLING]

Now I remember.
I even remember your name.

They used to call you Jawbone.

What?

Just meet me at the crib.
I get enough to deal with here.

Listen, man.
I got problems...

Look here, I'm gonna let
the door hit you

where the good lord
split you!

Then she gonna start
barking like a dog.

[IMITATES DOG BARKING]

Baby, put it on
that old hat.

Look, everybody, could we just
please calm down, okay?

This has gotten out of hand,
okay?

Let's calm down, all right?

MAN: I'll fuck you up!

Sit down, witch hazel.

Who you talking to?

VESTER: To you!

Look, don't you talk about--

You mama witch,
you black dusty rusty ass.

Whoa! My mama dead!
Now I gotta cut you!

That's the rule! Cut you!
Cut you! Cut you!

[ALL YELLING]

Come on! Come on!
I'm ready for you.

I want all of you
out of my house now!

Cut me! Cut me! Cut me!

Cutting the whole--

I expected some shit like this
from you riffraff.

[GUNSHOT]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Damn, I bet I get some respect
from you motherfuckers. Now!

And I'd love to pop a cap
in your little black ass.

And that crazy old bitch.

And I'd bust a cap in your ass
if it weren't for my daughter.

Now I want all of you
out of my goddamn house!

Out, out, damn spot!

All of you motherfuckers.

We better go.

Had a nice time.
That ain't look so good.

Punk motherfucker.

You better get the fuck
on out of my house! Nigga!

Out, out, damn it!
All of you, out!

Was that a crazy dinner
or what?

Heh, that was crazy.

Do you think they're ever
gonna get along?

Well, I guess
if the Crips and Bloods

can have a truce,

I guess they can too.

Anyway, good night, Mrs. Kid.

Good night, Mr. Veda.

Mr. Ve... What'd I tell you
about watching all that Oprah?

Huh? Ooh.

Heh, I love you.

[GIBBERING]
I Love you.

[CHUCKLES]

[CAR ENGINE REVS]

[♪♪]

[DOG GROWLS]

[DOG BARKS]

[KID GROANS THEN SCREAMS]

Hey, fellas.
Fellas, welcome back.

You know, I just had a talk
with Sex As A Weapon,

and they claim they never signed
any management contract

with Kid and Play management.
so I'm wondering...

Why do I need you all?

I can explain, Showboat.

But I don't want
to hear it.

But--

I don't want to hear it!

Now you two clowns better get
my contract signed by tomorrow.

And, uh, one little thing
before you leave.

I'd like you to check out
one of these TJ hors d'oeuvres.

KID: What?

Oh, that's a toe-jam cracker.

Yeah, I like to call it
the chronic, heh.

PLAY:
Come on, Boat. Come on, man.

We've known each other
too long for this, man.

No. No. No!

[♪♪]

You guys are cleaning up?

Yeah.

Thanks.
Thanks a lot.

MARQUES:
Well, Kid, we just wanted
to show our appreciation.

You've been so good to us.

Hey, look, uh, look,
here's some money for a pizza.

BOY: All right.

You still have the video movies?

BOY 2:
Yeah.

I got some running
around to do,

then I'm gonna go to the hotel
for the bachelor party,

so I'll see you guys
in the morning.

Oh, uh,
there's a slight chance

my body might be dumped
in the river.

So if I don't see you
in the morning, it's been real.

What do you mean, Kid?

Uh... Look, don't worry
about it. It's my problem.

Just have a good time and
take care of Aunt Lucy, okay?

KIDS:
All right.

See you later.

Hey, you all, I think Uncle Kid
is in big trouble.

Yeah, that punk Showboat.

[♪♪]

Ah, shit.

MAN:
Yo, yo, what's up, punk?
Where the rest of my money?

Man, we ain't
got your money, man.

Showboat got your cash, man.

Showboat.

We used to have him in an apron
with his ass hanging out,

running around the cell
cleaning up like a bitch.

Really?

Really, nigga.

I know he ain't trying to come
between me and my money.

Where is it at?

I don't know, man.

Put me down, man.

Yo, punk,
since you don't know,

we taking these Adidas
as partial payment

till you find out,
you understand?

STINKY:
No, man, come on.
Oh, no, that's my cuz.

Hey, hey!

Is there a problem in here,
fellas?

Uh, no, ma'am, we just
helping my man with his shoes.

Well, keep it down in here.

Hey, simple,
you dropped something, man.

[BLOWS AIR]

MAN:
Hey, you little
twig-head Boyz in the Hood,

where's Kid?

Plan B.

Plan B.

Where they going?

Uh, they got to take a pee.

Uh, so you came to listen
to our demo?

Hurry up, man. We got to beat
the all-time record.

So where is he?

Uh, Kid...

Dreads, cap--
Oh, yeah, Kid.

Well, he's having a bachelor
party over at the Motel 6.

Which Motel 6?
There's 29 of them.

I don't know.
I'm from Detroit.

He probably went to
the one on Washington.

You know, they give
complimentary 40 ounces.

You better not be lying,
boy.

Come on.

[♪♪]

Those some nice hooves
you got there, girl.

I got one bean for you.
One.

How about a biscuit, baby?

Oh, please.

Hey, hey. Now,
that's what I'm talking about.

I'm guilty, guilty as charged.

I was willing, take me.

Cuff me, baby.
Cuff me!

PLAY:
Oh, yeah.
Once again, it's on.

Hey, what up?

PLAY:
Stinky!
I'm gonna get this, boy.

What's up, baby.
How are you doing?

How are you doing?
Just sitting here queening.

I don't believe
you gonna do this.

I don't believe
you getting married.

You going out.

Why I got to be going out?

Why can't I have
a do-right woman

and I'm trying to do
right by?

You ain't doing right
until tomorrow.

Tonight,
your hos is here.

I'm gonna to tear
this party up!

Right now, I'm hungry!

[GIBBERING]

Food, food, food!

Nigga, now that's an ex-con.

Nigga made me proud.

Yeah, those 40 ounces
really do upgradable Motel 6.

The only reason
I mess around with them.

[CAR THUDDING]

MAN:
Hey, what...

[SHOUTING]

Fucking damn!

My son of a...

You wait till I get my hands
on that cold-blooded man!

[♪♪]

Right here, and make sure
she doesn't have any more.

She's drunk enough already.

Oh, Cathy's drunk again?

Every time she goes somewhere,
she gets drunk.

This party is too much.

Girl, this is a great party,
Janelle.

Only the best for you girl.
Only the best.

And the night is still young,
honey.

[WHOOPING]

KID:
And I said no women,

but is it my imagination

or do we have an extra amount
of fat women here tonight?

Look, don't sweat it, man.

It's my cousin, Stinky, man.
This is his thing, his posse.

Look, I didn't want any women,
just the fellas.

Damn, they're big.

[♪♪]

[AUNT LUCY LAUGHING]

[♪♪]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

You okay, Aunt Lucy?

What is all that noise
downstairs?

Uh, few of the fellas came by
for Kid's bachelor party.

And what about this movie
you brought me?

Oh, that was Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle, Aunt Lucy.

That's no turtle.
That's ass.

[CHUCKLES]

Be in touch, Aunt Lucy.

Call us if you need us.

See you.

Marques, where's the food?

I snuck out of the house
to come here and I'm hungry.

We got a caterer coming, baby.

I'll bet those cons
took the food to the hotel.

I know. Let's go find out
what's happening. Come on.

[♪♪]

Oh, kiddo, kiddo, mild for
a Kid 'n Play jammy jam jam.

Some swollen motherfuckers
in here tonight.

Ooh, I sure am hungry.

Man, what the fuck
is your problem?

The problem is that
this food ain't paid for.

Ain't nobody eating till
I get the rest of my money.

Oh! But you let these
two policewomen here eat.

Oh, oh, oh.
They got guns too.

Eh, we got warrants,
pimp daddy.

Yeah, you got a good point.

VEDA:
Looks like there's some action

going on out here.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hello.

I'm looking for a Veda Pratt.

Um, that's me.

I have a warrant
for your arrest.

What?

What?

Failure to pay a series
of parking tickets.

Oh, no, no, no.
That's some mistake.

I pay my tickets.

I'm gonna take you down.

What?

[CHUCKLES]

This is yours?

Heh, wait a minute.
Tomorrow is my wedding day.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Miss, please, face the wall.
Spread your legs.

[CHUCKLES]

OFFICER:
Heh, not that far.

Heh, Janelle,
I'm going to jail.

The other hand, please.

I've never been to jail.

What am I gonna wear?

Don't worry about it, Veda.

You already got on stripes.

Folks, please,
stand back into the house.

Pursuant of penal code
section 393.03.

Find Kid. Find Kid.

I command you to...

Wave your hands in the air!

[ALL SHOUTING]

[♪♪]

[CHUCKLES]

You got me good this time.
You got me this time.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Here it is, guys.
Bad-ass.

[WHOOPS]

A bomb, here we go.

MAN 1:
That ain't bad-ass.

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh, well, wait.
Just give it some time.

It's probably
some leader tape.

Just give it a chance.
Give it a chance.

Just like them punk ass
niggers watching. Shit.

This party seem bunk to me.

Man, you all supposed
to deliver at 1637 Blast Ave.

Look here,
I'll deliver this food anywhere,

you hear me, anywhere
as long as you got the money.

We got money.

Pay the man.

1637 Blast Ave.

You get paid
when we get fed.

MAN 2: That's ninja turtle ass.

MAN 3: Hey, man.

Somebody must've
switched the tape!

Man!

Night heat, God of lust,
we praise you!

[ALL SHOUTING]

Hi, Showboat. I'm sorry, baby.
No men are allowed.

We got business here.
We looking for Kid 'n Play.

And that's a man.

No, no, baby.
You are man.

That is a God.

[WHOOPS]

[♪♪]

Go over to the kitchen.
You check out the bathroom.

Boy, they're making Gods
smaller these days

and bowlegged.

This your stripper?

Yes, baby.

You better get a refund.
I'll show you stripping.

Hey, wait a minute.

Step aside.

That's all right.
Take your liberties with me.

I'm free. There you go, boy.

Be careful.
That's mine.

[PHONE RINGS]

[CHUCKLES]

Hello.

So-so.
How's my Aunt Lucy doing?

Eating my prunes,
waiting for Kid

to show up for his
bachelor party

and watching that ass.

Yo, let me hold the cellular.

Uh-uh.

This ain't no damn game.
Give me the phone!

Yo, Play,
the phone ain't turned on.

I'm fronting, man. I told you,
the hos like that.

Man, pay your damn bill.

Hey, man,
I sent them a couple of checks.

The phone company
don't take welfare checks.

It seems like
all I know is broke brothers.

Look, I got to
come over there. Shit.

Johnny, man,
what's up with Angina?

MARQUES:
Now, the moment
you've all been waiting for,

ALL [IN UNISON]:
Angina Williams!

[ALL CHEERING]

The Boat is in the house!

Showboat's getting ready
to get out the house.

Now, get to stepping.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Boat
is leaving the building.

Please,
don't do anymore parties.

Thank you.
You're wonderful.

Get out of here,
you steroid freaks.

Out!

Oh, don't let me down, man.

Yo, yo, check it out, Kid.
All for you, boy.

[♪♪]

Oh, man!

Stinky, Stinky,
take off your hat.

What?

Take off your hat.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪]

[ALL CHEERING]

Oh, come on.
Take all the goddamn money.

Hey, get off me.

Come on. Get off.

Hey, hey.

Get off me.

Move it.

Ahem, excuse me.

I'm president
of the All-That club

and I'm here to tell you
that you are all that.

Baby, I'll eat through
that dress to get to that ass.

No, fuck that dress.
I'll eat through them drawers.

What'd I say wrong?

What now?

Play would not let you down.

Close your eyes then.
Come on trust me.

This is it.
It's the bomb!

[♪♪]

Open your arms wide
for a big surprise.

Come on, honey.

[WHOOPS]

Are you the lucky man?

[PLAY LAUGHS]

[VOMITS]

Sydney?

Kid? Heh.

Hi!

Wow!
What are you doing here?

Um, I was celebrating

my grandparents'
wedding anniversary.

Wow, it's great to see you.

Um, it's been a long time.

Yeah.

Heh, a lot's happened.

Well, what are you doing--

You--

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Sorry. You go.
Go ahead.

Well, I hear you're taking
a job in Washington.

And you're getting married.

Veda is a lucky woman.

I wish you guys
a lot of happiness.

Well, heh, I better get back
to my grandparents.

Bye.

Heh, Kid,

I wish it had ended better
between us.

Yeah. Me too.

She's better for you.

She'll give you
what you need.

Yeah, heh,
I guess you're right.

I will always love you.

Friends?

Heh, friends.

[CHUCKLES]

Ohh!

Didn't I tell you about
Night Heat?

Yes.

I knew he was gonna work you.

He gave me, like,
a whoo thing!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, got you.

Bye.

Bye.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, it's a good thing

I found out about this
before it was too late.

KID:
No, wait the minute. You didn't
see what you thought you saw.

What you thought you saw,
you didn't really see.

Okay, save the jokes, Kid.

Look, you've got it all wrong.
Okay?

Her grandparents are here

celebrating their anniversary
in another suite.

I didn't know she was here.
What are you talking about?

That's perfect.
So you give her a kiss

on her grandparents'
anniversary.

A kiss?

It was a "good-bye,
have a nice life" kiss,

thank you. Look,
you don't trust me? Fine!

This is what being married
is gonna be about, huh?

You gonna do
whatever anyway.

Time out! Time out!

Time out! Come on, man.
Let's talk.

Come on!
Come here.

He's gonna play me.

Uh-uh, uh-uh,
he is not all that.

Girl, you were wrong.

Janelle, I just saw my man
kissing his ex-girlfriend.

It was just a peck.

Yo, Kid, take time out, man,

turn this thing
the other way around.

You would've drawn
the same conclusion, man.

For the first time,
I'm convinced

that this woman's
gonna make you happy, man.

And you're ready to blow it?

Now, you say you love him.

If you really love him,
Veda,

then you got to trust him,
baby.

I got a lot invested
in this wedding, man.

I'll be damned
if it go down the tubes

over some misunderstanding

or I'm walking down the aisle
with Veda myself.

That's all there is to it.
Word up.

Come on, man.
She wouldn't have you.

Heh. Shit.

Now, what you need to do
is stop tripping

and take your big ass
back down them stairs

and go get your man!

Hey, Kiddo.

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

Look, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have
blown up at you.

[MOANS]

There you go. I've been looking
all over for you guys.

Telephone, man.

Uncle Vester.

Oh, jeez.

Yeah.

Handle it.

Uncle Vester?

Kid, you better hurry up
and get over here!

These boys got a party.

Everybody
and their mama's here,

including the law.

Okay, all right.
We'll be right there.

[BLOWS AIR]

Come over here
bothering people,

trying to embarrass
somebody.

Officers of the goddamn law!

What you wanna do?
I ain't scared of you.

I ain't Rodney King.
I'll get one of you.

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER DISPATCHER]

OFFICER:
1637 Blast Avenue.

That disturbance
is now in control.

I'm gonna kill
those little guys.

This is your house?

Uh, yes.

Party's got to stop.
You're disturbing the peace.

Wait the minute.
Hold on, Officer Evans.

Um, my man here, he's getting
married tomorrow.

I'm just trying
to send him off in style.

Um, could you, uh...

Heh, are you married?

Yeah.

Come on, man,
think about it.

The night before
you lost your freedom,

you realized that night,
that's the last night

you gonna be hanging
with your homeys,

chasing after the honeys.

No more nothing, man,
just you,

the TV

and her.

Come on, man.

Come on.

You people
have a nice evening.

Okay.
Come on, man, let's talk.

I have a cousin that's
a marriage counselor.

[♪♪]

I can't believe
those little hard heads

could throw a hyper party
than me and Play.

Oh, heh, wait for me,
Janelle.

Party over here.

[GROANS]

It's 1:00.

Do you know
where your testicles are?

Where's my money?

We spent it.

Look, I'm getting
married tomorrow.

You wouldn't hurt
the family jewels?

Start cutting!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

Whoa, whoa!

See, now, that's funky.

Now, who is that?

Uh, that's our new group
Immature.

We just signed them.

We were getting ready
to tell you to check them out.

Hey, hey, hey, and the other act
as promised, my brother.

[YELLS]

Sex As A Weapon.

We got a deal?

Yeah. Deal.

Wait. I thought you signed
with Cold-Blood Management.

Since we heard about what
they did to those blind rappers,

we, uh, changed our mind.

That's right.

We can't be doing business
with peoples,

hear me now, like that.

We don't like that.

SEX AS A WEAPON:
Mmm!

Yeah. Mmm!

Uh, okay, girls, go in there
and use those weapons.

Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.

PLAY:
Oh, that's two groups,
Rowboat.

I guess you owe us now,
huh?

Hook him up.

Yeah, hook me up.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Whoo.

See, man, I told you

I'd take care of everything,
man.

It's the American way.

Look, congratulations,
man.

That's for your honeymoon.

Excuse me boy,
can I have my baby now?

You can have your baby now.

Uh, excuse me.

Hey, Kid, we know, we've been
lots of trouble, so here.

Wow. Thanks a lot.

Unh.

That might be just enough
to clean up

after this bachelor party
of yours.

Hey, cuz.
My 50 percent.

Sure.
Let me get some change, man.

Can anybody
bust up a dollar?

Yo, you wrong, man.
I want my 50 percent, man.

I'll burn this place down,
man.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

♪ The D-most wreck in effect ♪

♪ House party set
Catching rep on a mic check ♪

♪ Before we tear it up I turn
And give my partner high five ♪

♪ Cause it's time
To get live ♪

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ When I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ Well, it's the Kid
from Kid'N Play ♪

♪ Now that's a rap group
I'm not that sup ♪

♪ But I'm living phat troop
You looking that cute ♪

♪ The girl in the cat suit
In my black coupe ♪

♪ Rhyming on the fat loops
Oops ♪

♪ Feelin' great, pop the tape
In the tape deck ♪

♪ And I'm-a catch wreck
Then catch a fat check ♪

♪ Check what the heck
Grab the mic for a mic check ♪

♪ Right before
Your eyes equalize ♪

♪ With the goose neck
Who's next ♪

♪ Who's gonna flex
With the hype rhyme ♪

♪ I think it's my time
I'm flowing like a pipeline ♪

♪ Going for the right sign
Gonna have a fine time

♪ Name up in neon
Like Deon going prime time ♪

♪ Trying to score a touchdown
Trying to make a slam dunk ♪

♪ Breakin' off a fat chunk
'Cause the track is mad funk ♪

♪ Niggas try to say
I never gave back ♪

♪ Get ready
For the payback ♪

♪ This a house party
Black ♪

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ P to the L-A-Y
In the place to be ♪

♪ What's the matter, brother
Didn't ya hear me, see ♪

♪ I'm the man
That ya heard about ♪

♪ The fly dark skin brother
Girls spread the word about ♪

♪ And when you wonder why
I get sex more ♪

♪ You get vexed more
'Cause I'm the boy next door ♪

♪ And when ya smile and grin
And then I go up in ♪

♪ And in a hour later
I'm at it again, friend ♪

♪ And then I'm ready to go
But you don't hear me though ♪

♪ And I'm-a bout to throw
Just like Riddick Bowe ♪

♪ I keep an even flow
Watch as I do the show ♪

♪ And I'm-a flip it
And kick it like judo ♪

♪ So don't try to say that
I can't when I can pull ♪

♪ Watch me trample
This hip hop sample ♪

♪ The choice is yours
Black ♪

♪ You can either catch a cap
Or get slapped ♪

♪ Or sing the chorus, Jack ♪

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Knock, knock
Ya gotta let me in ♪

♪ 'Cause I know
Ya got alligator skin ♪

♪ Underneath of your jim ♪

♪ And I only must pick up
Roughneck nigga ♪

♪ Check 'em in a sec
Just to see who's bigger ♪

♪ The Left never ever did expect
To flow it ♪

♪ I say it's time to get it up
I know he can't show it ♪

♪ And if he make a mistake
He'll never get it ♪

♪ Stupid mother ♪

♪ What's up? ♪

♪ But if my hat
Is to the back ♪

♪ Then ya can sort of
Say it's crooked ♪

♪ The look that only nookie
Gives a rough neck rookie ♪

♪ Jump, hump-a-hump
On the back, hit the front ♪

♪ Take a dump in the stump
Roll a big fat blunt ♪

♪ And if he's quick to hand it
To ya, don't grab it ♪

♪ He only really want it
If he know he can't have it ♪

♪ Chase a roughneck
Bet you'll say ♪

♪ Dagnabbit, Mr. Butterworth ♪

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some
You say noise ♪

[♪♪]

[ALL CHEERING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

PLAY:
Yo, Kid, Veda, hold up! Kid.

Hold up, man.
Here you go, man.

A little something.
Voila!

Come on, man.
Kid 'n Play productions.

We gonna be large!

You got us a car?

Chill, man.
For business, man.

A tax write-off.
Enjoy it.

Congratulations.
Yo!

[SLOW BALLAD PLAYING
IN THE BACKGROUND]

[ALL CHEERING]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Oh, God, Angina.

[WHOOPS]

VESTER:
Come on, let's go half
on a baby.

Come on, I liked you
the first I saw you.

I'll make you bow-legged,
I swear to God.

♪ He's my inspiration ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And you know
You just don't understand ♪

♪ Our relation ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm down
He's the one ♪

♪ Who makes me feel
Real good inside ♪

♪ He keeps me going ♪

♪ He makes me feel ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him
I love him, I love him ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ The way he just don't
Understand ♪

♪ I just love him
I love him, I love him ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him ♪

[M.O.P.'S "HOW ABOUT
SOME HARDCORE" PLAYING]

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
We like it raw in the streets ♪

♪ For the fellas on the corner
Posted up 20 deep ♪

♪ With your F on your hip
Ready to flip ♪

♪ Whenever you empty your clip
Dip, trip your sidekick ♪

♪ You got skill
You best manage to chill ♪

♪ Do yourself a favor, don't
Come nowhere near the Hill ♪

♪ With that bull, word
Money grip, it'll cost ya ♪

♪ Make you reminisce of
Frank Nitti, The Enforcer ♪

♪ I move with M.O.P.'s
Last generation ♪

♪ Straight up and down, act
Like you want a confrontation ♪

♪ I packs my gat
I got to stay strapped ♪

♪ I bust mine, don't try to
Sneak up on me from behind ♪

♪ Don't sleep
I get deep when I creep ♪

♪ I see right now, gotta
Show you ain't nothin' sweet ♪

♪ Go get your hammer
And act like you want drama ♪

♪ I'll send a message
To your mama ♪

♪ Hello, do you know
Your one son left ♪

♪ I am licensed to kill
He had been marked for death ♪

♪ He's up the Hill
In the back of the building ♪

♪ With two in the dome
Stiffer than a tombstone ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore ♪

♪ Yeah, we like it rugged
In the ghetto ♪

♪ I used to pack sling shots
Now I'm packin' heavy metal ♪

♪ A rugged underground
Freestyler ♪

♪ Is Li'l Fame for you
Slap, Li'l Mallet ♪

♪ When I let off
It's a burning desire ♪

♪ Increase the peace, when
I release it be rapid fire ♪

♪ For the cause
I drop suckers like drawers ♪

♪ Derelicts hit the floors
From nickel-plated .44's ♪

♪ I'm takin' titles
When it's belt time ♪

♪ Play around, I have punks
Call the injury help line ♪

♪ I bust words in my verse
That'll serve ♪

♪ Even on my first nerve
I put herbs to curbs ♪

♪ 'Cause M.O.P.
Got the upper hand ♪

♪ I still write, make
My brother get up and dance ♪

♪ Front, I make it
A thrill to kill ♪

♪ Bringin' the ruckus
It's neighborhood hoods ♪

♪ For the hill
That's real ♪

♪ Me and mics, hustle
Light dubs and dice ♪

♪ So who wanna skate, 'cause
I'm puttin' thugs on ice ♪

♪ Whatever I drop must be rough
rugged and hard more ♪

♪ Yeah, how about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo, here I am, so what up?
Get it on, sucker ♪

♪ Checkin' Bill, seem to be
A ill black brother ♪

♪ I gets dough
From the way I flow ♪

♪ And before I go
You mothers gonna know ♪

♪ That I ain't nothin
To fuck with, duck quick ♪

♪ I squeeze when I'm stressed
Teflons'll tear your vest ♪

♪ I love a bloodbath
You don't know the half ♪

♪ You can feel the wrath
Saratoga, St. Marks Ave. ♪

♪ B-I-L-L-Y D-A-N-Z-E ♪

♪ N-I-E, me
Billy Danzenie ♪

♪ Knock, knock, who's there? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame
Li'l Fame who? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame, your knuckle, boom
Ease up off the trigger ♪

♪ It's a'ight, me and shorty
Go to gunfights ♪

♪ Together
We bring the ruckus, right? ♪

♪ We trump tight, a'ight? ♪

♪ I earned mine
So I'm entitled to a title ♪

♪ 7-30
That means I'm homicidal ♪

♪ Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore
Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo, I scream on rappers
Like a rollercoaster ♪

♪ To wack competition
Go hang it up like a poster ♪

♪ Yo, get excited
But don't excite me ♪

♪ Don't invite me... ♪