House Party 3 (1994) Movie Script

[♪♪]

[CRASH]

MAN:

You may now kiss the bride.

[AUDIENCE CHATTERING

INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN 1:

Play. He's so fine.

WOMAN 2:

Ooh, he looks good.

WOMAN 3:

Can I change his mind?

WOMAN 4:

Over here, baby.

WOMAN 5:

Ooh, I need you.

Come back here.

I love you.

WOMAN 6:

I love you.

WOMAN 7:

Oh, don't do it.

[RINGING]

[PANTING]

Yo.

Yo, this wedding

got me buggin'.

[RINGING STOPS]

[GRUNTS]

Hey.

WOMAN: Hey.

Hey, how about a nice, big,

juicy good morning kiss?

Not with that

good morning breath.

Ha.

Well...

Look, just one kiss.

Come on. That's all I want.

Just one kiss.

Okay.

Come on back.

Since you're so sweet,

you can have just a little--

Aah!

[GIGGLING]

Hi-yah!

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

What are you doing?

Sergeant Sausage is present

and ready for duty, okay?

Prepare for insertion.

[LAUGHS]

Wait. At ease.

Sergeant Sausage,

Veda's a vegetarian.

Look, just calm down

and close your eyes, all right?

It ain't gonna take but a minute

while I'm up in it.

So I'm marrying

the minute man now, huh?

You knew that going in.

Kid, stop.

What?

VEDA:

The wedding is days away.

I know. And my nuts are

as blue as these sheets.

Come on, hit a nigger off.

I'll hit you, all right.

[MAKING MARTIAL ARTS

NOISES]

[RINGING]

MACHINE:

Hi, this is Shireen

from The Good Girls--

Come on, baby, let it run.

Can't be anybody important.

I'm already here.

Oh, uh-huh. I got to get it.

It might be about a job.

STINKY:

Yo, hey, hey, hey,

wake up, Play.

Shit.

Hey, girl,

I know he's there.

I don't know

why your fine ass

is wasting your time

with him anyway.

You need to be chillin'

with me.

Because, girl, I'll lick you

like an ice cream cone

on a hot summer's day.

Damn, you a fine girl.

It's your friend

that's not potty-trained.

It's my cousin. Someone's got

to look out for him.

Or just look out.

Boy, you sure look good

this morning.

You're missing something

though.

Check this out.

Aw, yeah.

Now...

Talk to me.

What's up for breakfast?

Talk to me.

Talk to him. Give to him.

I'll tell you,

based on the color scheme,

I think this looks

better on you.

STINKY:

We got to get ready to pick up

Kid's dread-head cousins

from the airport

and then we got to plan

the bachelor party.

And then we need to talk about

my 50, 50, 50 fractions

of Kid and Play's productions

that you guys owe me

for my personal

services, man.

Stinky, if you go to school

like your mother wants,

you'd understand

the business more,

The percentages

instead of the fractions.

And right now I'm trying

to close a very important deal.

I'm gonna have to get

with you later, Stinky.

KID:

I'm not asking for much.

Hook me up with some of

that French toast you be makin'.

When you have it stacked up.

And just laying on the side,

the strawberries.

Chillin'.

VEDA:

I've never made

any French toast.

You have me confused

with Sydney again.

Damn.

Uh, ha, ha. Check it out.

You know what happened?

Let me tell you. I was trippin'.

I made a mistake.

See, what had happened was,

that was Play.

Okay? And he had gone

to France,

right, with his girl,

and at one point

they made a toast.

So it was a French toast.

Don't even try it, Kid.

People do not toast

with malt liquor,

and that is all

I have ever seen Play drink.

You're busted.

What's up with you?

When we started going out,

you promised me

we could make demo.

A demo? Come on, baby,

I can do better than that.

I'm hooking you up with one

of the largest promoters ever,

a brother

by the name of Showboat.

I'm gettin' with him

this morning.

Yeah, right.

That's right.

And, um, I hope when

we give you that call,

that surprise call,

that you're ready.

Play.

Yep.

Play.

What?

Oh...

I sure hope Kid's cousins

have bus fare.

Oh, Janelle is throwing me

a little party Friday night.

Nothing big.

Just a few of the girls.

Perhaps some wine.

A male stripper.

Well, have a good time.

Let me know what went down

with that, all right?

VEDA:

Okey-dokey.

Yoo-hoo.

Yes, darling?

Did you male dancer?

No. I said stripper.

Wh--? Oh, my bad.

Stripper.

Janelle got some guy

named Night Heat.

Night Heat?

Night Heat.

She thought the girls

would get a kick out of it.

Can I kick Janelle?

No, you can't.

In the organ of my choice,

repeatedly?

No, you can't,

because she will kick back.

I can't have you two

kicking each other.

See you later.

Johnny Booze, what's up?

Yeah, it's Playtime.

We got to make this brief,

'cause I'm calling from the car.

Yeah, my boy,

his bachelor party.

That's right.

Of course I got the dough.

Yo, just get a pen out, man.

Friday night

at the Densmore Hotel.

That's right.

Now, who you got?

Angina Williams?

Angina-- Angina Williams?

Yo, ain't that the girl

that does the disappearing act

with the beer bottles?

Bet. Perfect for Kid.

Yo, good lookin' out, man.

Don't let me down.

All right cool.

Peace out, black.

Yo, Angina Williams, man.

Tell me something.

How did your fowl ass

pull some move like that?

I keep trying to tell you

and Kid. It's the American way.

BOY:

Excuse me, sir.

Yes, can I help you?

Sir, we just flew in

from Detroit

to perform in front

of some senior citizens,

and all our luggage

is gone.

Our show clothes.

My CD player.

George.

George? Who's George?

You know. George.

His teddy bear.

CLERK:

Oh, your teddy bear.

Gee, I'm so sorry,

but I know how it feels.

My Slinky died two years ago.

I still wake up crying.

This is an insurance form.

You know how to fill it out,

don't you?

You write down

"Socks, $50,000."

And you were carrying a car

in your suitcase.

May God bless you.

Oh, and God bless you too.

Sorry about the eye.

Did you lose that also?

Yo, yo, yo, slow down.

Pull over here.

What for?

Just pull over.

We got to get our luggage, fool.

Yo, I thought they lost

your luggage.

Nah, stupid. You think we dumb

enough to lose our luggage?

We were just trying to make

some more vacation money.

You know, to bring

some girls to Hawaii.

Do you know what you punks did

is against the law?

You could end up

in juvie hall.

That's the first stop

to the big house.

Know what they do to boys

in the big house?

Make little girls out of them.

When we get there, we'll say

hello to your low-life friends.

Take us to Capital Records,

MCA, Motown and Virgin Records,

to let everybody know

that Immature is in the house.

The only house

you're gonna be in

is the house you'll be

in all summer on punishment.

You ain't cuttin' up

like you did last summer,

you understand me?

[♪♪]

Yo, watch the finish.

Watch the finish.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

The wild bunch is here.

Yo, what's up fellas?

What's going on?

What's up, man?

All right.

LUCY:

Well, well, well.

Hello, Aunt Lucy.

What's up, Veda?

Aunt Lucy, these are your

brother Petey's grandchildren.

If you say so.

Honey, your pants

are too big,

but Aunt Lucy gonna

take care of that.

Play and Stinky, I brought

some lunch. It's on the table.

BOTH:

Oh, word.

That's what I'm talking about.

And I hope everybody ate,

'cause I ain't saving

a damn thing.

Fellas, I want you

to meet my fiancée Veda.

Hi guys. Oh, you're so cute.

Look at your little dreads.

I don't which one of you

is the cutest.

You pretty cute

yourself too.

Damn, Kid, I didn't know

you had it going on like this.

She is fine.

Hey, Kid, what happened

to that big booty girl?

The one

you went to college with.

Ooh, look at the time.

We have a meeting today

that we're late for.

We have a meeting,

so we have to go.

And we're late.

Uh, Play, Stinky. Play.

You know, the big booty girl.

I think her name was Sydney.

Play, Stinky, we got a meeting.

Come on, let's roll.

Well, what's with all

these worms in your head, boy?

I hope you left some food

for the little ones.

Of course, we did, Aunt Lucy.

Of course, we did.

Now, well,

of course, I did.

Now, Veda said you could have

something to eat.

She didn't say go and eat up

all that Chinese food.

It was fried chicken,

Aunt Lucy.

Hush your mouth.

Chinese people don't eat

fried chicken.

What?

Kid, I'm telling you

right now,

we're going sell

Sex As A Weapon to Showboat.

Wait a minute, we haven't

even signed them yet.

I thought we were having

this meeting to find out

if he was even

interested.

Come on, Kid, you know

I got the skills, man.

We're gonna get

the girls to sign.

We gonna sell them to Showboat.

It's the American way.

Selling what you don't own.

I do it all the time.

This could backfire, man.

This could backfire big time.

Play, don't you know what

you're doing is against the law?

Keep it up,

and you'll end up in the joint,

in the cell next to ours.

Yeah.

Just once.

Come on,

just once, man.

Let me just hit him once,

you know?

Whoo.

[♪♪]

Okay, have a seat, guys.

Have a seat.

Look, now, we're here

on business, all right?

I want you to act like

you got some home training.

Tsk, man, we know

how to act in public.

All right, I don't wanna have

to hurt you.

SHOWBOAT:

No, I told you

I'm not hearing that.

Look, I'll come over there

and slap your mouth.

You better get my money.

I'm not playing, boy.

Get my money. Get it now.

PLAY:

Showboat, what's up?

Hey, hey, fellas. Fellas.

Let's make some money.

Talk to me quick.

Whoo!

Uh, Showboat...

Hey, yo, move that shit

off the table.

Thanks, slice.

Go ahead.

Uh, Showboat, we really

wanna work with you.

We have what we believe to be

a solid business proposition

that'll prove to be lucrative

for all parties involved.

Well, I like it

so far.

You know that girl group

Sex As A Weapon, right?

Oh, them girls

are on, slice.

Well, it just so happens

we signed them

into an exclusive contract

yesterday, man.

And, um, we wanna go

on tour.

And we wanna do business

with you.

You know, I got a 12 city tour

of the Chitlin Circuit.

Uh, we about to start

right now.

And you know,

a group like Sex As A Weapon

could set that baby

on fire.

Give me three G's,

and we got a deal.

Wait. Why do I need

to go through you?

I'm the man.

Shit, Play, you ain't

nothing but a sucker MC.

And Kid,

your jelly ain't shit.

Stinky, well, I think

the names speaks for itself.

Yo, my name ain't Stinky,

it's James.

[DOG BARKS]

Getting all excited.

You don't seem to understand,

Sex As A Weapon ain't doing jack

without our say so.

Uh, uh, what he means

to say, Showboat,

is that, uh, they respect

our opinions with regard

to their career moves.

Yo, Kid, cut all that bullshit

out, man.

You obviously don't know

who you dealing with.

How you work

this thing?

I know who I'm dealing with,

and it better be local.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello.

Yeah, this is Play.

Uh...

Say hello

to the man himself, Showboat.

Showboat, I can't believe

it's for real.

Yeah, shit's unbelievable, baby.

I know. Go ahead. Go ahead.

PLAY:

Uh, we talking about

a 12 city tour, sweetheart.

And, um, all you got

to do is say yes,

and Play will take care

of the rest.

[SCREAMS]

There it is.

Um, you know what?

I'll bring home the condoms...

I'm sorry, I'll bring home

the contracts tonight, baby.

Keep it clean.

Hook them up,

Ms. Pain.

Hook me up.

Uh, aren't there a few things

we should discuss

before we start taking

Showboat's money?

PLAY:

What are you talking--?

Kid, ain't nothing

but a G thing, baby.

We all adults here.

Showboat trust us.

He's a businessman.

We are businessmen's.

Ah, you are

a silly motherfucker.

Showboat

don't trust shit.

No, no, no,

my daddy always said

don't trust nobody but your mama

and then cut the deck.

Fuck that. Make sure you do

what you say you gonna do.

You got my money, boy.

Oh, oh, oh.

One more thing.

Go have a good time.

But look, look,

whatever you do,

you can talk about my mama,

steal my car, take my jewelry,

but don't mess

with my money.

Oh, when you do that,

you done...

Then you messin'

with the wrong G.

The wrong G.

Now, um, here's the list of

those 12 cities we talked about.

Uh, make sure

you have those girls

sign that contract

by tomorrow.

And until then, heh,

let's make some money.

It was just really nice

this morning, you know.

Kid had his reunion

with his little cousins.

And they are three

of the cutest little boys

you ever want to see,

until one of them asked Kid

what happened

to the big booty girl

he used to date

in college.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, yes, he did.

Was he talking about Sydney?

Don't say that "S" word.

Oh. Not with this day

I've been having.

Not only that.

Kid kept going on about

how good my French toast is.

But you don't like

French toast.

Veda, you're my baby cousin,

and I love you.

But if you're having

second thoughts about this,

then maybe you ought

to keep on thinking.

You're more than welcome

to continue living with me.

I love having you.

No, if Kid

were not ready,

he would not have saved

for our condo.

Bought me this ring.

He could have a car.

Janelle, I am wearing

the man's car.

He announced

our engagement, not me.

He never got this far

with Sydney.

Yeah, that's because Sydney

had some sense.

[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

Okay, guys. Guys, guys,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Calm your nerves.

Have a seat. Have a seat.

All right? Just sit down and do

whatever Stinky tells you.

You sit down too.

I keep telling you I ain't

no babysitter for these kids.

I need to be trying

to impress them girls.

Play,

take me with you, man.

They look at me,

they'll sign that contract.

Stinky, do me a favor.

Either wash your ass

or sit the hell down

and shut up.

KID:

Please.

Hi, Kid.

Uh, I mean, hi, ladies.

Know what? We need to talk

in a better business atmosphere.

So why don't we kick it

in the ball with some drinks?

Our treat.

Right this way.

Please.

Ooh, this is what

I'm talking about.

Getting down

to the real nitty-gritty.

Some business.

Some ballistics, y'all.

He's right.

Real business.

Business minds.

Big money.

Business. Kid.

Kid?

Uh.

Oh. I'm sorry.

You got to excuse my friend,

he's zoning out.

This weekend,

he's getting married.

And, um, you know,

we're planning

a big bachelor party

for him on Friday.

You know what?

Why don't you come down

and help me change his mind?

Well, anyway, for starters,

uh, let's get some drinks.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

That's French,

you know? Heh.

MAN:

Can I take

your drink order?

Um, I'd like a Slow Screw

Against the Wall.

Ooh. I'll have

a Sex on the Beach.

You know what? I can take care

of these orders myself.

Beat it, Benson.

Oh, before you go, uh,

we'll have two tap waters

with ice.

Domestic with a twist.

♪ Aw, yeah ♪

♪ Immature's in the house ♪

♪ Ready to tear it up ♪

♪ With the help

Of the boys and the band ♪

♪ We gonna kick a little

something like ♪

♪ Something like this ♪

♪ Three small brothers

You might call pint sized ♪

♪ Kickin' the rhythm

Down before your eyes ♪

♪ Don, Jerome

And my name is Marcus ♪

♪ Steppin' to the stage

You know we gonna spark this ♪

♪ Microphone

'Cause the heat is on ♪

We generated quite a bit

of heat with your demo.

Frankly,

we're very confident

that we can get you

a label deal.

We want you

to sign with us.

Yo, cut the bull.

Sign with us, pow,

12-city tour,

that's the way we roll.

Hello.

BOTH [IN UNISON]:

Pow.

And there it is.

A twelve-city tour

for real?

PLAY: That's right.

Hold up.

Wait, wait,

wait, wait.

A twelve-city tour

just might be all right

if we go to places

like Montreal,

New York, D.C., okay?

That's what I'm talking about.

BOTH: Say what? Say huh?

I like that.

Ah, heh, well,

here's the itinerary, heh.

All right. Now.

Bugtussle, Oklahoma?

Stand Back, Alabama?

Nigger keep running,

Mississippi?

Not even...

Hold up.

Y'all niggers

ain't gonna play us like that.

You all know we roll

like filet mignon.

And you all trying to play us

out like some soybean burgers.

Brah. We have

better things to do.

Who's she calling?

WOMAN:

This is Collette, mm-hm.

Sex As A Weapon.

Yes, we're ready

to do business.

You know what, guys, um,

I think it's fair

to let y'all know

we been meeting with

Coldblood management and--

Coldblood?

He's a crook.

That punk will rob you

for all the loot you make.

Straight up and down,

on the reals.

WOMAN:

I don't know what

y'all talking about.

He said that he would

get us a Mustang 5.0.

What did you say?

5.0?

Okay.

Mm-hm.

COLETTE: Cinco pointo zero.

Okay, uh, for starters

we could hook you up

with a budget

for your wardrobe.

For your wardrobe,

for your first tour.

GIRLS [IN UNISON]:

No.

Coldblood said he'd give us

our own fashion designer.

That's all you want?

We got the best in the west.

We're talking

Aunt Lucy's Fashions.

♪ Funky freestylin'

That's with 3D ♪

♪ Run home and tell

All your friends what we did ♪

♪ Mixing hip-hop

With this thing called jazz ♪

♪ Simply put

You can kiss my ♪

♪ Ask me no questions

I tell you no lies ♪

♪ That's how this thing goes

Kicking it with the lingo ♪

♪ Crispy like a Pringle ♪

He already guaranteed us

4.34 percent

of the venue gross receipts

based on generally accepted

industry account

practices.

So.

Okay.

We anticipated that you could

at least give us 4.5 percent.

You know

what I'm saying?

To fatten the pockets

and put the cash in my hand.

Sound good to me.

PLAY:

That might not be a problem.

Wait, wait. Okay.

All right, um, all right.

If Coldblood's

gonna go there,

perhaps we can adjust

these figures

so that we're looking at...

Shit.

Uh, wait, wait,

wait a minute. Okay.

Perhaps we can, uh,

perhaps we can, um...

Wait, wait,

we changed the figures

to reduce

some of our overhead.

Uh, flip it.

Uh, carry the three.

And then

we're looking at...

Hell no.

[SIGHS]

Wait, wait, wait, all right.

Hold up a second.

All right. How about this?

We give you Play's cut,

so that we're looking at--

You're buggin'. Check this out.

It's gonna be a G per show.

We'll take care of all the hotel

and the travel arrangements.

That's as fair as it get.

I'm putting my foot down.

Well, ladies,

lookie here.

BOTH [IN UNISON]:

Lookie here, lookie here.

Looks like Coldblood's deal

is a little bit better

than this one.

And when you all become big-time

and can beat that 5.0.

Give us a call.

You know what?

It's too bad too

because I was just about

to make me a new friend.

Sorry for you.

Wait a minute.

We can work this out.

Heh.

Yo, hey, hey, yo.

See you, bye.

Slow.

Damn, man,

we almost had them, man.

Aunt Lucy's Fashions?

♪ We're just here to give

A kick in the booty ♪

♪ So feel free

To make a contribution ♪

That's right,

you heard the kids.

We available for children's

parties, Bar Mitzvahs,

sweet sixteen's,

weddings, anything.

Just put some money in the hat.

It's for the kids.

Come on, man, do something

for the kids, huh?

Heal the world.

You know what I'm saying?

Just for the kids, you know?

Hey, who put a food stamp

in the hat?

MAN [ON PHONE]:

Hey, Yo, what up?

This is Ex-Con Caterer

where we do chicken right.

You know, something like

the warden used to,

whether you like it

or not.

I remember, one time

I was in jail,

I didn't eat the food,

they locked me in the hole.

Six weeks down there

wondering why.

Nobody came to visit.

No phone calls.

No nothing. I'm just

down there storming

because I didn't eat

the damn food.

I ain't got to eat the food

the warden give me.

Chill out. We got the pardon.

We free.

Chill out.

Hey, who the hell

is this?

Oh, how you doing,

mama?

What you want?

200 pounds of chilies

for Saturday night.

You got it. No problem.

Hey.

Oh, look, what the fuck

we got here.

Three mark-ass

nappers.

Fuck all that. what's up

with my order for Friday, huh?

It depends on

what your bitch ass get.

What the fuck you want,

some chilies,

some cheese, spam, tuna,

some tomatoes?

What the fuck

you want?

Look out.

Look out, punk.

Come on in, Big Dukey.

Big Dukey?

Dukey.

Yo, man, it's obvious

this ain't no Benihana's.

Know what I'm saying?

Man, this is all we want.

Some chicken wings, hot dogs

and a case of 40s. Got that?

First of all, you need

to calm the fuck down

and go gargle, funky.

Man, my name is Stinky.

Stinky, all right?

Stinky, funky, smell bad,

it's all the same.

Fuck all that, nigga,

your name is Funky

because you come up in here

smelling like butt crack.

Yo, squash all that.

The food better be on.

You hear

what I'm saying?

Look at this nigga,

Mr. Bowler, Mr. High Roller,

Mr. Flashing Fucking Money.

Since you got it like that,

punk, pay a nigga now.

You got my food now?

Or maybe do you have

my food now?

That's what I'm saying.

Dumb shit.

Let me tell you something.

You don't come in

making no goddamn demands.

We will fuck around

your punk ass on the grill.

Straight make

some barbecued bitch.

No, bake all three punk asses,

make three-bitch pie now.

Why don't we just give them

all the money now?

Yo, forget that,

Kid, man.

The original deal

was a deposit.

I refused to be intimidated

by these three losers.

That's bullshit, man.

It's just bullshit.

Especially some midget

like you, hairy bastard.

Kick it, cuz.

Look here, motherfucker,

I'll kick you in your nuts

and make your jaw swell.

You think you want more,

you punk-ass, niggers, huh?

Just give them the money.

No, Kid.

Look, okay.

Just have the food there.

Thank you.

Yo, the food better be on.

Your sister better be on.

Your mother's on.

Your grandmama's straight on.

PLAY:

Check this out.

After this tour you two

are gonna be the bomb.

You're gonna blow up.

Trust me. Trust me.

Now you're gonna remember

to listen

to that tape

I gave you, right?

Of course, I listen to

anything worth holding onto,

and believe me you two

definitely got something

I got to get my hands on.

Word up, you know?

Talent scouting

again, huh, heh.

Play,

you workaholic.

Know what? I gotta take care

of something real quick.

I'll get right back at you.

We're gonna get into this.

We're gonna get

into this.

Janelle, what's up,

sweetheart?

Tell me something,

Play.

Doesn't it ever

bother you?

What?

Misleading women

the way you do.

Misleading women?

Yeah.

Janelle,

they are a group.

I am a manager.

In the entertainment business,

they work together.

I'm working with them.

Come on, now,

you know my style.

And helping yourself to some

while you're at it, right?

You coming off like they're

supposed to be helpless females.

I mean, let's think

about it here,

has it occurred to you that

perhaps they're enjoying this

just as much as I am?

Ever thought about that?

Yeah, I have,

and it frightens me.

Look, the sooner

we get this started,

the sooner I can

get out of here.

Now, did you reserve

the tuxes for the ushers?

Yes, I reserved the tuxes

for the ushers

and I'm gonna pay

for them too.

That's the least you could do.

The bride pays for everything.

And it'll be the last thing

she pays for.

After that ring

is on her finger,

that's her carte blanche

to do what she pleases.

While my man's

breaking his back,

because she turns

to the gimme gimme girl.

I knew

you was primitive,

but I didn't think

you was a pure caveman.

I guess it goes down like that

with those gold-digging,

hoochie-mama, gut bucket

skeezas you attract,

but tell me something, what

do you really have to offer?

I mean, really?

Well, it just so happens

that what I have to offer

might be more than

you can handle, Janelle.

And when you are ready

to become a full-fledged woman,

why don't

you give me a call?

Baby, I'm full,

I'm fledged,

and I'm all woman,

but I need

more than a snack.

I need a whole meal.

Janelle, sweetheart,

woman, I'll have

you talking in tongues.

Tsk.

I gotta go.

I'll bet you do.

You done lost your mind.

And uh, speaking of tongues,

like I said,

you two are gonna be big.

Man, I ain't got

no money.

I got to get

the millionaire's fund.

Come on,

multiplatinum.

Oh, multiplatinum, baby,

I'll be rich.

Oh, you'll be

paid today.

Pay him up.

You pay him up, punk.

Everybody pay me up.

Come on. Both of you pay.

What's up, guys?

What's going on?

What's up, cousin Kid?

What kind of game is that?

The music biz.

Yep.

The music biz.

This one's

a concert promoter.

Yeah, this beautiful woman

right here is,

Mm-mm, unh.

is a groupie.

See, Kid, we're ready.

We got the game down.

Now it's about

getting paid big-time.

You know real money.

KID:

Look, it's not easy, okay?

I've been in the music business

four years now

and it doesn't get

any easier.

It's very difficult.

And you have to work

really hard.

Don't worry, Kid.

We're smart.

We see how to do it wrong

by watching you and Play.

[KIDS CHUCKLE]

Y'all some good teachers.

[SCOFFS]

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Hey, boy!

KID: Uncle Vester.

Kid.

Aunt Lucy.

Oh.

Look at that woman there.

Lord have mercy.

Oh, Vester, heh, it's so good

to see you, ha, ha.

Come here, woman.

Oh.

There.

I'm over here.

[BOTH LAUGH]

How you doing?

Heh.

You still crazy

as a betsy bug,

Heh.

and looking good too, woman.

Like a sandwich.

What's up, Kid?

You're the yellow version

of your pappy.

Aunt Lucy... Mm.

Damn.

Boy, I miss your father.

KID:

So do I.

Damn. I wish

he was here.

Me too, Uncle Vester.

Besides, he owe me a $150.

Uncle Vester,

do you remember me?

Do I remember you?

Let me tell you.

Last time, boy, I saw you,

you was his size,

and last time, boy,

I saw you,

you was his size,

and last time I saw you,

there was doo-doo

in your drawers.

Hey, man,

you just got here,

don't be sweating me like that.

VESTER: Sweating.

I ain't began to sweat you.

First thing tomorrow, we're

going down to Elmo's barbershop

and cut that Jamaican voodoo

stuff off of your head.

You better regulate your uncle

before I bust a cap in his butt.

What you say to me?

What you say to me, boy?

Let me tell you something.

I said Uncle Vester

cool like that.

That's what

I thought you said, heh.

That's what

I thought you said.

You right. Aunt Lucy, heh,

I bought you something.

You know I can't come

Oh.

without bringing you anything.

You didn't.

Hey, my favorite auntie,

heh, yeah.

Ha, ha, you know I did.

Look here. This is for you.

Oh, Vester.

Heh, ha, ha.

Isn't that beautiful?

If lost, please return to

1637 Blast Ave., Los Angeles.

Vester.

Sit down.

Okay, look, all right.

All right.

I think it's about

that time, guys.

Let's go to bed,

and we'll play tomorrow.

I'll take them

upstairs, come on.

Where's the stairs,

honey?

The stairs are right

where they've always been.

Okay.

Doggone right.

Ten o'clock. Supposed to be

in bed any doggone way.

Only my Kool-Aid

don't know the flavor.

Ain't my business.

So, boy, you're getting

married, man.

So tell me about

your financee. Is she pretty?

Oh, my fiancée?

Yeah.

KID:

Ooh, oh, she's very pretty.

Can she cook?

Oh, yes, she can cook.

You, you don't have...

She ain't knocked up, is she?

No, no.

Good. Good.

Well, you got

Uncle Vester's blessings.

Uncle Vester gonna go upstairs.

I'm kind of tired.

Uncle Vester, before you go,

I wanted to ask you something.

What you need, son?

Well, see, my girl and I,

we get along fine.

Uh-huh.

But I'm just having

a little problem

getting her parents to like me.

Parents?

Why get 'em to like you for?

Boy, just be yourself.

If people don't like you

if you're being yourself,

fuck them.

Let me tell you something.

I just got a girl

when I was about your age.

I always tried to please

her pappy all the time,

went out of my way

to please her pappy.

I come in one day, I said,

"Nice weather we have,"

and he said,

"You can't say that.

You can't say that.

It might rain."

I said,

"Nice tie you got on."

He said you can't say that.

My wife tried to choke me with.

The point I'm trying to

tell you, son, is be yourself.

People don't like

being yourself, fuck them!

Fuck them up

against the wall

with handcuffs on

and Krazy Glue on their lips.

That's all you do.

Hmm.

Words to live by.

Live by them, son.

Um, I'm gonna go to the club

now, uh, Uncle Vester,

and just go.

VESTER:

You go on

and enjoy yourself, boy.

You're about to sell your soul

in a couple of days.

Brother,

you did a good job.

It's a good kid.

Always been a good kid.

That's why I call him Kid,

heh.

Boy just need some

goddamn fun

like Casper

the friendly ghost.

Scared the hell out of me

when I came here.

Mm.

Mm!

[MAN RAPPING

OVER HIP-HOP MUSIC]

♪ I pick up the microphone

Like a slip of Cincy ♪

♪ Rhythm is so we can roll

We got it goin' on, G ♪

♪ Word to the mama

You concur and agree ♪

♪ So come select

With some versatility ♪

[RAPPING INDISTINCTLY]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

PLAY: What's up, Black?

Party's in the house.

What's up, Black?

What's up, my queen?

Yo, Kid, R.A.S. Posse

is working it, man.

[RAPPING CONTINUES]

Who needs

Sex As A Weapon, man?

Come on, think about it,

we got enough dope groups.

WOMAN: Hey, Kid.

Hello.

I hear you're getting married.

Too bad.

Oh, no, no.

He's not married yet.

He hasn't jumped

the broomstick yet.

She's intense.

Uh-uh, thanks, but no,

thanks, Maxine.

I'm already taken.

Okay.

But if you change your mind,

call me.

Yo, man, you done

crossed over, man.

Any natural man

would've waxed that ass, man.

You and this Veda thing,

all she is going to do is

ask you to jump, and

you going to go, "How high?"

Look, don't you get it?

I love Veda, okay?

I'm getting married to her.

I'm just trying to go into

the situation right, thank you.

Yo, Kid,

you've changed, man.

I just hope after you get

married we can still...

What?

Tsk, oh, man.

Yo, man, where's

the fruit basket?

Right there, King.

Oh, yeah.

I fucked her.

[ALL LAUGHING]

MAN: Oh, man, you know you

ain't seen no part of that ass.

Let me check it out.

[SNIFFS]

No ass!

[ALL LAUGHING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Come in.

Yo. You guys were dope,

man.

Yo, you all blew up.

You, did you see that crowd?

We didn't see shit.

Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, sorry.

I guess you heard them,

at least.

Yo, we got a big show

next week.

What's up?

You all ready?

Yo, man, that kid Coldblood

jerked us again, man.

Yo, I'm telling we should've got

the dough up front.

Now we're short.

Well, somebody better pay us

some money up in here

or there's gonna be

some ass whooping.

Yeah.

I got your back, MC Cataract.

Wait a minute. We ain't

got to go there, man.

Just put the gun down.

Calm down.

You need to kill that noise.

We gonna tighten you up

with a little something, man.

Mm-hm.

Heh.

Oh. Oh, no, no.

This is the wrong president.

[GUN COCKS]

Come on, man.

Here, you guys.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Uh-huh.

Heh. Ben Franklin.

Ha, ha.

I'm with it.

Yeah, ha-ha-ha.

It's not wise to mess with

three brothers with big sticks.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Now, let's go find

some of those honeys.

Yeah, man, we're going to get--

This way, baby.

Oh, yeah. Over there.

Oy, 119th and Avalon.

Oh, let's go.

That's where they are.

Where the girls?

Hey, take this.

Oh, I got it. I got it.

Oh, yeah.

Yo, come on. Let's go.

No, no, no,

I ain't going nowhere

till these brothers are

off the streets, man. Word up.

Oh-ho,

let's go get those honeys.

CATARACT: Woo-hoo. Yeah.

MAN: Ha-ha-ha.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC

PLAYING ON RADIO]

Yo, Play, man,

I've been thinking.

We've been at this music thing

for a while now, man,

and we still ain't got

two nickels to rub together.

Veda's parents have been

stressing me, man,

stressed me about

getting a real--

Oh, don't say that.

Don't say the "J" word.

Don't say that "J" word, man.

I'm gonna say it. Job,

motherfucker, job.

And maybe they're right.

I mean, it's not like

I can just think about

myself anymore.

I'm gonna have

a wife soon.

She got a job too, don't she?

Nigga.

Come on, man, we got to put

this back in perspective, man.

I mean, you know, come on,

think about it.

Look out there.

What do you see?

A wino sleeping

in his own vomit?

Not that, man.

I mean, look out there, man,

we in the land of LA,

man, Hollywood, man,

where dreams come true.

They just don't come true

like that.

There's hard work

and perseverance, man.

Am I just going crazy?

Didn't we have a dream?

Remember?

Yeah, I remember.

But look,

I'm getting older now.

Would you believe I've even

thought about cutting my hair?

Oh, this is more serious

than I thought.

It gets worse.

The other day I went out

shopping to buy some gear.

I almost bought a tie.

Wait. You're

making me nauseous now.

Yo, man, I know

we've been through a lot,

I don't always come through,

but this one

I feel real good about, man.

Just give me a little time

on this one, man.

You know what?

I'll make a deal with you.

Straight up and down.

If I don't come through

with Sex As A Weapon,

I'll go get a haircut with you

and I'll get matching ties.

Deal?

You serious?

[SIGHS]

Isn't this food wonderful?

It sure is, Aunt Lucy.

It's fit for a King.

Come here, King!

[IMITATES

DOG BARKING]

Come here, boy.

Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, I thought

King was dead.

Ugh. My pancakes

is black.

Ugh, so is my eggs.

Yeah.

It's Cajun style.

If this is Cajun,

I'm Caucasian.

The boys are right.

This food is awful.

Cajun is an acquired taste.

That's why didn't

nobody order it.

KID 1: What about breakfast?

Yeah, I'm hungry.

KID 2: Oh, yeah.

Look.

There. Breakfast.

It's the best I can do.

Look, if I don't get out here

and get to my meeting,

I'm not gonna get paid.

I got to get out of here too.

I got me a date.

You do?

And who's the lucky lady?

The chef at

Rollo's Chicken 'n' Grits House.

I'm hungrier than a horse.

I'm getting out of here.

So, Kid, you're going

to let us bust

our little rap

at your bachelor party?

Yeah, Kid. You know

that's why we're here.

See, we look at it,

is the party gonna be

filled with big-booty girls,

honeys, tenders, you know?

KID:

Hello? Hello? Look.

Fellas, there are not gonna be

any honeys at the party.

Just the fellas.

So get it out of your head.

Just calm down, relax

and get ready

for the wedding. Okay?

See, I told you Kid 'n Play

are played out, man.

Just like this food.

We out of here, man.

No, no, wait a minute.

Sit down. Wait.

Boys, boys, come back here

and eat this food.

Don't you want to grow tall?

Get them, Aunt Lucy.

Hit them in the throat

with the stick.

Bust their head! I hate them.

You know, Aunt Lucy, man.

She still thinks Sammy Davis

is sleeping in the guest room.

You know, she's a couple

of salads away from a picnic.

Look, I'm proud

of you, boy.

I'm proud of what you did

with the youngsters.

You sat there and you told

them kids, man,

that there won't be any women

at that bachelor party.

I'm proud of you.

But I know there's gonna be

a few women

at that bachelor party.

Look, Veda is the only woman

for me.

I'm trying to go

into this marriage right.

No women.

Boy, nobody is talking about

no women for you.

I'm talking about some women

for me. What's wrong with you?

Ah, look, I'm sorry.

Look, uncle--

I'm sorry for you. Go on.

Uncle Vester, I gotta go.

Boy, you had to go on

and get a white woman,

now you're gonna wreck

this man.

The boy ain't worth

two day of flash mess.

You know, Uncle Kid

is dissing us, man.

Who you're telling? He won't

even listen to our demo.

Yeah, he won't even let us go

the bachelor party.

Eh, yo, yo, Jerome.

Peep this out, dude.

JEROME:

Hey, we definitely got

to get with them.

So here on in,

we're doing our own thing.

[BOTH SINGING]

Hey, baby,

you dropped something.

What?

Your conversation.

So let's pick it up

right here.

Pfft, give me

a break.

Why you all dressed

like twins?

GIRL 1:

We go to private school,

fetus face.

Oh, we go to

Detroit Public School.

Now how did

I know that?

Listen, we're staying at that

house over across the street.

Sixteen thirty seven,

Blast Ave.

Friday night we got

the crib to ourselves. Heh.

And we were just thinking

about having a little party.

Yeah.

A serious throw down,

Detroit-style.

Hey, bring your messed butt

over here!

Before I have

to kill somebody.

Every summer

I have to kill somebody.

I'm tired of killing folks

every summertime.

[♪♪]

Excuse me.

I got a certified letter

for Mr. Marques James.

Oh, that's me.

Just sign right there.

Oh, yeah, lost luggage check.

We're gonna party now!

Ha, ha.

We're having

a party Friday night.

Why don't you come.

And oh yeah, wear that uniform.

Heh, yeah, because I like girls

with jobs and benefits, hmm.

Now, why would I wanna come

to a party

given by some little boys?

So I can show you

how deep love can get.

And, oh, yeah,

it can get deep.

[CHUCKLING]

Aren't you all cute.

Ha-ha-ha.

BOY 1:

Where you going, cutie?

Come back over here.

You want some candy?

Let's go, yeah?

Yeah.

Hey.

[ALL WHOOPING]

Open it up, man.

VESTER:

Close that goddamn door!

Air condition

the whole neighborhood!

Open it up.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Heh.

Three thousand dollars.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Oh, it's probably the mailman.

We'll get it.

[♪♪]

What's up, man?

What's up?

Uh, where's

Kid and Play?

They ain't here.

They ain't here?

Where the hell

are they at?

Look, man,

we had a meeting here.

I ain't got time to wait. I got

to pick up money over here,

pick up money over here,

and I came to pick money

right here.

Look here. You tell them

when they get here

Johnny Booze stopped by

to pick up the money

for the Angina Williams,

okay?

That's the stripper

for the bachelor party.

Oh, yeah.

They told me that

you'll be stopping by

and to pay you

if you can pop this check.

Oh, let me see that.

Let me see that.

Money first.

Wait. I got money.

Don't play me like I ain't.

I handle mine.

Check it out.

Wait, man. I got more,

I got more right here.

Wait.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Oh.

Okay, all right.

All right, ooh, shit.

All right. Here we go.

Right here.

Same time, bro.

I don't know you, man.

Same time. I don't know you.

Okay. Same time.

Give me the check.

Now you know

the party is gonna be here

instead of hotel,

right?

Cool, cool, cool,

cool, cool. Okay.

You tell Play

Angina gonna be here

Friday night, all right?

And look, you tell them

I need the rest of my money.

I owe people.

A Couple of my girls

got killed in a car wreck.

I need the money.

We know.

Shut up.

[♪♪]

Yo, that's the dancer

that Janelle hired

for Veda's party.

Yo, pull over, man.

I wanna peep this guy.

I can't let

any old muscle bound

booty shaking chump

dancing at my baby's party.

Come on.

Come on, Kid, be for real, man.

We got a lot to do, man.

We got three days to

the wedding. Three days, man.

We got no time to be worried

about, heh, the competition.

You know, Kid, man, dog,

I don't mean no harm, man.

Your shit's over, man.

Do you know who Night Heat is?

That's Henry Charles.

Think.

I went to high school

with him, man.

The boy is large.

Took showers with him, man.

His shit is huge.

He must be from Africa.

He said it's huge, man.

Wait a minute.

You checking out his jimmy?

No--

Look, Play,

Your cousin needs

some serious counseling.

There's no question

about that.

But seriously, sisters be

sweating that brother,

sweating him

something awful.

I'm telling you,

he drives the honeys crazy.

Look at that line.

Look at all those girls.

And guys in the line too.

You know how big it is.

Yo man, the wedding

might be off

when Veda peeps a peek at

the pole that brother's packing.

Try and say that three times.

Janelle, you're

my maid of honor, right?

Mm-hm.

Then why don't you have

your little butt over here

helping me figure out

who I'm gonna sit next to who?

Whoa, Veda.

This says that 50 percent

of all marriages

end in divorce.

Divorce.

And after only three years

of marriage

couples have sex

once a week.

Once a week.

And when they do,

they don't even like it.

Did you know, Janelle--

What?

That ever since Kid and I

announced our engagement,

well, you've changed.

I've changed?

You've changed.

I've changed?

You've changed.

I've changed?

Yes,

you have really been

dogging Kid out lately.

Because he is a dog.

He is not a dog.

He is a man. The man

that I'm going to marry.

Thank you.

Well, I know Play.

And Play is 100 percent

all dog.

Atomic dog. Mighty dog.

Underdog. Deputy Dog.

Snoop Dogg. And dog dog.

And everybody knows that

Kid and Play are like this.

Dogs of a feather.

Veda, girl, you look like

you just saw a ghost.

I did. It's Sydney.

Hi, Veda.

Heh, hi, Sydney.

I was in the neighborhood

and I decided to stop in

and browse and, um,

tsk,

really congratulate you

on your wedding.

Heh, thanks.

Heh, thanks a lot.

Um, this is my cousin and

business partner, Janelle.

Hi, nice to meet you.

JANELLE: Same here.

You guys have

a lot nice things in here.

VEDA:

Thank you.

I guess I have to buy

something then.

You know what?

Those earrings

we got in last week.

Perfect.

Heh.

They have Sydney written

all over them.

Let's see the Sydney earrings.

Ha, ha.

Heh, good.

That's a bad suit.

Thank you.

Oh, those are cute.

I like those.

Could you, uh, put those

in a box for me, please?

Sure will.

Veda, you know,

I'm really glad

Kid found someone

to love.

He had a really hard time

after we broke up.

It seems like

his management company

is doing really well

and you have

a beautiful shop here.

I'm glad you guys are happy.

I really am.

Could you give him my best,

please?

I sure will. And, um...

I wish you all the best

in DC and

good luck and success

and all that stuff.

And wear these in good health.

I will. I'll do that.

Take that with you. Heh

You take care of yourself.

All right? Bye bye.

All right. Thanks, Sydney.

Wow, heh,

I was wrong about her.

She really was nice.

Yeah.

And her booty

wasn't that big.

[HUMMING]

It's cute.

Who are you?

It's me, Aunt Lucy, Veda.

You just let me in, heh

five minutes ago.

Today?

Yeah, I'm taking some of

Kid's stuff over to our condo.

It's Veda.

Kid's fiancée.

Nobody tells me anything.

Oh.

Damn,

this is heavy.

Stinky.

Stinky. Stinky.

Come on, help us out.

I was playing.

Let me--

Take this.

I can't believe your cousin

is that lazy, Play.

I ain't lazy,

man.

Open the door.

This stuff is heavy.

PLAY:

Hard to believe

he's my cousin.

STINKY:

You won't. Come on.

Oh, he's your cousin,

all right.

[SHRIEKS]

I can deal with this.

This I can deal with.

Since the word got out

I'm getting married,

you wouldn't believe the play

I'm getting from the ladies.

Women that wouldn't

talk to me before.

I don't understand it.

PLAY:

At least act

like you know, man.

Women, that's just

how they're livin'.

Word, Play is right man.

Women are just like cats.

Finicky. When they

want you, they want you.

When you got a girl,

that's when they want you.

Oh, Stinky, what the hell

are you talking about?

Yeah, Stinky, since when did

you become an expert on women?

All you date

are fat girls.

See, that's

where you're wrong.

I don't date just fat girls.

I date skinny girls

on the verge of being fat,

fat girls on the verge

of being obese.

Matter of fact,

I'm dating your sister.

What's she, 380?

I'm taking her

to the slaughterhouse

to eat tonight.

That was unnecessary.

It was, I admit.

But why crush a guy's ego?

Y'all think you're all that.

You think you some kind

of Dark Gable or something, man.

PLAY: Well, suppose I am.

Well, suppose you ain't.

You know I'll pick up

your roster,

and I'm dating one

of your girls tonight.

You recognize 555-12-37?

Give me my beeper, fool.

What was up with you

and Maxine last night, man?

She was like all up

in your grill.

That girl is the bomb.

Heh. Yo.

You said that right.

That girl has the fattest

rump shake. I can't front.

PLAY:

I would've

waxed that ass, man.

I mean, you got

a couple of days.

And I was gonna save it

as surprise.

But through reliable sources,

through to grapevine,

Sydney's back in town.

And I know you wanna wax

that butt one more time.

One more time.

Just tear it up.

Just tear it up, man.

STINKY:

Hey, yo Kid, man, if you need

my crib for anything

to get away from Veda

or to get hold of Sydney,

hey man, just call me,

it's yours.

Look, guys, for the last time,

Sydney is yesterday's news.

I'm committed to Veda. Okay?

Let's go.

You going out.

Next thing you know,

you'll be watching

Oprah butt naked

eating bon-bons

with Veda.

[SIGHS]

Ooh, I know you gonna

look good

because you know you got it

going on.

Just too bad

you getting married.

I told you.

Hmm.

Now let's get just started.

[CHUCKLING]

You still shop

at the little boy's shop.

Don't you? Ha, ha.

You laugh now that I got a body

of a little boy, right?

But you know what,

I got the power of ten men.

You know what I'm saying.

PLAY: Tell her, cuz.

With them two big donuts

you got right there,

you can feed a starving child

in Somalia for a whole month.

Can I have one?

Please. Your mouth

don't open that big.

Besides, little man,

I'd use you like dental floss

and then I would

throw you away.

Ooh. That's all right.

But nine out of ten

dentists recommend me.

So, what's up?

Let me clean them teeth.

Please.

Let me measure a real man.

Hey, check it out.

Kid's bachelor party

is Friday night

at the Densmore Hotel.

How about you come on down

and bring

your two friends with you?

I'll put them

on the guest list.

Hey, don't go there.

Just how much are we

paying for these tuxes?

Hey, we ain't gotta go

there either.

I got this covered.

[♪♪]

Ho, ho, motherfucker,

the Showboat is back in town.

[BARKS]

Shit.

You can't bring

them animals in here.

Do you have a leash for her?

I got a funny feeling.

A real funny feeling

that you all took my money

and used it

for his bachelor party.

Check this out.

SHOWBOAT:

Let me tell you something.

If I don't get that contract

right now,

Ol' Cujo here is going

to give you three new assholes.

PLAY:

Uh, Showboat, come on, man.

We're supposed

to be boys, man.

I mean, I'm-a do good

by the contract.

You know that.

Hey, man, two days.

Trust me.

I told you,

the Boat don't trust shit!

Eat them, Cujo. get them!

WOMAN:

Hey, hey! not in here!

[DOGS BARKING]

[ALL YELLING]

SHOWBOAT:

You can run,

but you can't hide.

We'll get you later.

You'll see, we'll get you.

Hello. No, Marques

is at the playground.

All right.

Call back later, Tracy.

[PHONE RINGS]

Kid's Funeral Home,

you stab them, we grab them.

Uh, no, Marques isn't here,

Gina.

A party? No, they're not having

no party.

Can I ask how old you are?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You sound a little old

to be calling him.

All right, just call back

later, okay? All right.

AUNT LUCY: Hi!

VEDA: Is everybody ready?

I've got the engine running,

my mother has food on the table,

and we don't wanna keep

my mother waiting.

What a pretty girl.

I should introduce you

to my boy Kid.

Kid, you ought to marry

this girl.

She's much better for you

than that fiancée

you brought here

yesterday.

I mean, that girl

was way too tall for you.

Ha, ha. You're right,

Aunt Lucy.

I am

a better choice.

Oh, yeah, much better

than the girl

that wanted Night Heat

at her party.

Tsk.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah.

You know the one.

The one that thought

I was still hung up

on the big booty girl,

Sydney.

Ha, ha, I'll bet you she didn't

even make you French toast.

Come on, Aunt Lucy,

let's wait in the car.

Would you hurry up, please?

Where's Uncle Vester?

VESTER: Hey, hey, look.

Hey, woman.

Here we go. Hey.

Ooh, Good Lord, have mercy.

I wanna put you on a plate

with biscuits

and gravy and suck right up.

Whoo.

Aunt Lucy, wait.

That's not my car!

Mm.

You guys come in here.

Where have you guys been?

What took so long?

We just have to go

for our little daily walk.

Yeah, you got to get

that exercise.

Exercise yourself

on in that kitchen.

Get those dishes you left

this morning.

You got no dog

on this one.

Heh. So how do you feel,

boy?

Ah, Uncle Vester,

I'm still a little nervous.

This is such

a big night.

I just don't wanna do anything

that I'll regret.

Oh, son. We gotta talk

about that the other night.

What did I tell you?

Let that go. Be yourself.

We're going over there.

We're gonna be ourselves.

We'll show

you're educated.

Say Diddy hellos,

how to have good time tonight.

You gotta believe that.

Let it go.

Okay. All right.

All right.

You're not packing, are you?

You know I'm blessed.

I'm hung low. Stay out

of my personal business.

Who you with?

Uncle Vester.

Who you with?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I'll get it.

Hello!

Hey, yo, what up?

Can I speak to either

Kid or Play?

MARQUES [OVER PHONE]:

No, they ain't here.

This is Butcher

from the catering company.

Is the party still on?

Yeah, the party

is still going on.

Will you tell

Kid or Play that, um,

I ain't serve nobody until

I get the rest of my money.

MARQUES:

I guarantee you your money.

But you got to bring

the food here.

That's 1637 Blast Ave.

Oh, you want me

to bring the food there?

That's right

if you wanna get paid.

Okay. Bye.

Yeah, right.

Veda told me

you're down-home folk.

So I thought we'd have

a little soul food dinner,

something I'd know

you people would like.

I don't care what you serve

long on that occasion.

The food looks great, mom.

Oh, thank you, doll.

Have no plate?

Aunt Lucy, don't worry

about him not having no plate.

I got plenty of food for him.

Uh, Christopher,

I suppose

you haven't made it big

in the music business yet.

Oh, well, dad, uh,

my partner and I--

How did you expect

to support a wife?

And a baby,

you know she pregnant?

Pregnant? Lord have mercy.

See I knew it.

I knew I've been dreaming

about fish.

Fish? Fish, I sure hope

it's catfish.

No, mother.

I am not pregnant, heh.

Young man,

I was asking you a question.

Okay. Uh, well, Dad,

my partner and I,

we're involved in

some very promising ventures.

We have an up and coming

group name, R.A.S. Posse,

that we signed

to Arrest Records.

Now when they release them--

Release, R.A.S. Posse,

What are they, in jail?

Ugh, when they release

their album, mother.

And how do you expect to survive

until this R.A.S. Puss--

Posse makes it big?

In my day,

we used to have a saying:

No romance, heh,

without finance.

Now hold on there, freckles.

You got to have

a little bit more faith

in these young kids today.

Times are different when

you and I were out here

doing our thing. Now hand me

about four or five biscuits.

Oh, I'm hungry.

Oh, Vester.

What is your line

of business?

Unemployment line.

I'm a painter.

I'm an artiste.

Oh, really.

From what school?

Jacob Lord's? Beardon?

Uh, kitchen walls

and sinks, shit like that.

Oh, my God,

crayons and finger paints.

Wait a minute, mom.

You're being unfair.

You and Daddy

didn't have everything

when you first started out.

Yeah.

Yeah. But we worked hard

to get where we are today.

I bet you had whore

just to make ends meet.

I beg your pardon!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I knew,

I knew you.

Dammit to hell, I knew

your face was familiar to me.

Man, back in the days, your wife

just sucked the meanest.

Well, I know you know.

You're the lucky man.

You scum-sucking

son of a bitch!

That's my ho--

My wife you're talking about.

Kid, you're just gonna let them

talk to my parents like this?

I forgot you got other things

on your minds

like getting with Sydney

one more time.

Who said I was getting

with Sydney?

I heard your friend Stinky

talking this morning.

Oh, I don't believe you.

I don't believe Play

is at that window.

Go see what he wants.

AUNT LUCY:

You don't talk

to my nephew like this.

You don't talk

to my daughter like this.

AUNT LUCY:

What do you mean?

Come on, man,

what're you doing here?

Yo, man,

Showboat is bugging.

He tried to run me down

with the Benzo.

He wants the Sex As A Weapon

contract yesterday.

God, didn't I tell you

to get Boat his money? Didn't I?

You always getting me

into trouble.

Now it's on me.

You wanted a bachelor party.

I'm hooking you up.

What am I supposed to do?

Pay with my good looks?

What's wrong with you?

I didn't want

the bachelor party.

You wanted

the bachelor party.

Listen, you.

Listen, you, get back.

AUNT LUCY: Get back?

Step back, Satan.

I'll whammy-bammy

your ass.

[WOMEN YELLING]

Now I remember.

I even remember your name.

They used to call you Jawbone.

What?

Just meet me at the crib.

I get enough to deal with here.

Listen, man.

I got problems...

Look here, I'm gonna let

the door hit you

where the good lord

split you!

Then she gonna start

barking like a dog.

[IMITATES DOG BARKING]

Baby, put it on

that old hat.

Look, everybody, could we just

please calm down, okay?

This has gotten out of hand,

okay?

Let's calm down, all right?

MAN: I'll fuck you up!

Sit down, witch hazel.

Who you talking to?

VESTER: To you!

Look, don't you talk about--

You mama witch,

you black dusty rusty ass.

Whoa! My mama dead!

Now I gotta cut you!

That's the rule! Cut you!

Cut you! Cut you!

[ALL YELLING]

Come on! Come on!

I'm ready for you.

I want all of you

out of my house now!

Cut me! Cut me! Cut me!

Cutting the whole--

I expected some shit like this

from you riffraff.

[GUNSHOT]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Damn, I bet I get some respect

from you motherfuckers. Now!

And I'd love to pop a cap

in your little black ass.

And that crazy old bitch.

And I'd bust a cap in your ass

if it weren't for my daughter.

Now I want all of you

out of my goddamn house!

Out, out, damn spot!

All of you motherfuckers.

We better go.

Had a nice time.

That ain't look so good.

Punk motherfucker.

You better get the fuck

on out of my house! Nigga!

Out, out, damn it!

All of you, out!

Was that a crazy dinner

or what?

Heh, that was crazy.

Do you think they're ever

gonna get along?

Well, I guess

if the Crips and Bloods

can have a truce,

I guess they can too.

Anyway, good night, Mrs. Kid.

Good night, Mr. Veda.

Mr. Ve... What'd I tell you

about watching all that Oprah?

Huh? Ooh.

Heh, I love you.

[GIBBERING]

I Love you.

[CHUCKLES]

[CAR ENGINE REVS]

[♪♪]

[DOG GROWLS]

[DOG BARKS]

[KID GROANS THEN SCREAMS]

Hey, fellas.

Fellas, welcome back.

You know, I just had a talk

with Sex As A Weapon,

and they claim they never signed

any management contract

with Kid and Play management.

so I'm wondering...

Why do I need you all?

I can explain, Showboat.

But I don't want

to hear it.

But--

I don't want to hear it!

Now you two clowns better get

my contract signed by tomorrow.

And, uh, one little thing

before you leave.

I'd like you to check out

one of these TJ hors d'oeuvres.

KID: What?

Oh, that's a toe-jam cracker.

Yeah, I like to call it

the chronic, heh.

PLAY:

Come on, Boat. Come on, man.

We've known each other

too long for this, man.

No. No. No!

[♪♪]

You guys are cleaning up?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

MARQUES:

Well, Kid, we just wanted

to show our appreciation.

You've been so good to us.

Hey, look, uh, look,

here's some money for a pizza.

BOY: All right.

You still have the video movies?

BOY 2:

Yeah.

I got some running

around to do,

then I'm gonna go to the hotel

for the bachelor party,

so I'll see you guys

in the morning.

Oh, uh,

there's a slight chance

my body might be dumped

in the river.

So if I don't see you

in the morning, it's been real.

What do you mean, Kid?

Uh... Look, don't worry

about it. It's my problem.

Just have a good time and

take care of Aunt Lucy, okay?

KIDS:

All right.

See you later.

Hey, you all, I think Uncle Kid

is in big trouble.

Yeah, that punk Showboat.

[♪♪]

Ah, shit.

MAN:

Yo, yo, what's up, punk?

Where the rest of my money?

Man, we ain't

got your money, man.

Showboat got your cash, man.

Showboat.

We used to have him in an apron

with his ass hanging out,

running around the cell

cleaning up like a bitch.

Really?

Really, nigga.

I know he ain't trying to come

between me and my money.

Where is it at?

I don't know, man.

Put me down, man.

Yo, punk,

since you don't know,

we taking these Adidas

as partial payment

till you find out,

you understand?

STINKY:

No, man, come on.

Oh, no, that's my cuz.

Hey, hey!

Is there a problem in here,

fellas?

Uh, no, ma'am, we just

helping my man with his shoes.

Well, keep it down in here.

Hey, simple,

you dropped something, man.

[BLOWS AIR]

MAN:

Hey, you little

twig-head Boyz in the Hood,

where's Kid?

Plan B.

Where they going?

Uh, they got to take a pee.

Uh, so you came to listen

to our demo?

Hurry up, man. We got to beat

the all-time record.

So where is he?

Uh, Kid...

Dreads, cap--

Oh, yeah, Kid.

Well, he's having a bachelor

party over at the Motel 6.

Which Motel 6?

There's 29 of them.

I don't know.

I'm from Detroit.

He probably went to

the one on Washington.

You know, they give

complimentary 40 ounces.

You better not be lying,

boy.

Come on.

[♪♪]

Those some nice hooves

you got there, girl.

I got one bean for you.

One.

How about a biscuit, baby?

Oh, please.

Hey, hey. Now,

that's what I'm talking about.

I'm guilty, guilty as charged.

I was willing, take me.

Cuff me, baby.

Cuff me!

PLAY:

Oh, yeah.

Once again, it's on.

Hey, what up?

PLAY:

Stinky!

I'm gonna get this, boy.

What's up, baby.

How are you doing?

Just sitting here queening.

I don't believe

you gonna do this.

I don't believe

you getting married.

You going out.

Why I got to be going out?

Why can't I have

a do-right woman

and I'm trying to do

right by?

You ain't doing right

until tomorrow.

Tonight,

your hos is here.

I'm gonna to tear

this party up!

Right now, I'm hungry!

[GIBBERING]

Food, food, food!

Nigga, now that's an ex-con.

Nigga made me proud.

Yeah, those 40 ounces

really do upgradable Motel 6.

The only reason

I mess around with them.

[CAR THUDDING]

MAN:

Hey, what...

[SHOUTING]

Fucking damn!

My son of a...

You wait till I get my hands

on that cold-blooded man!

[♪♪]

Right here, and make sure

she doesn't have any more.

She's drunk enough already.

Oh, Cathy's drunk again?

Every time she goes somewhere,

she gets drunk.

This party is too much.

Girl, this is a great party,

Janelle.

Only the best for you girl.

Only the best.

And the night is still young,

honey.

[WHOOPING]

KID:

And I said no women,

but is it my imagination

or do we have an extra amount

of fat women here tonight?

Look, don't sweat it, man.

It's my cousin, Stinky, man.

This is his thing, his posse.

Look, I didn't want any women,

just the fellas.

Damn, they're big.

[♪♪]

[AUNT LUCY LAUGHING]

[♪♪]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

You okay, Aunt Lucy?

What is all that noise

downstairs?

Uh, few of the fellas came by

for Kid's bachelor party.

And what about this movie

you brought me?

Oh, that was Teenage Mutant

Ninja Turtle, Aunt Lucy.

That's no turtle.

That's ass.

[CHUCKLES]

Be in touch, Aunt Lucy.

Call us if you need us.

See you.

Marques, where's the food?

I snuck out of the house

to come here and I'm hungry.

We got a caterer coming, baby.

I'll bet those cons

took the food to the hotel.

I know. Let's go find out

what's happening. Come on.

[♪♪]

Oh, kiddo, kiddo, mild for

a Kid 'n Play jammy jam jam.

Some swollen motherfuckers

in here tonight.

Ooh, I sure am hungry.

Man, what the fuck

is your problem?

The problem is that

this food ain't paid for.

Ain't nobody eating till

I get the rest of my money.

Oh! But you let these

two policewomen here eat.

Oh, oh, oh.

They got guns too.

Eh, we got warrants,

pimp daddy.

Yeah, you got a good point.

VEDA:

Looks like there's some action

going on out here.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hello.

I'm looking for a Veda Pratt.

Um, that's me.

I have a warrant

for your arrest.

What?

Failure to pay a series

of parking tickets.

Oh, no, no, no.

That's some mistake.

I pay my tickets.

I'm gonna take you down.

What?

[CHUCKLES]

This is yours?

Heh, wait a minute.

Tomorrow is my wedding day.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Miss, please, face the wall.

Spread your legs.

[CHUCKLES]

OFFICER:

Heh, not that far.

Heh, Janelle,

I'm going to jail.

The other hand, please.

I've never been to jail.

What am I gonna wear?

Don't worry about it, Veda.

You already got on stripes.

Folks, please,

stand back into the house.

Pursuant of penal code

section 393.03.

Find Kid. Find Kid.

I command you to...

Wave your hands in the air!

[ALL SHOUTING]

[♪♪]

[CHUCKLES]

You got me good this time.

You got me this time.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Here it is, guys.

Bad-ass.

[WHOOPS]

A bomb, here we go.

MAN 1:

That ain't bad-ass.

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh, well, wait.

Just give it some time.

It's probably

some leader tape.

Just give it a chance.

Give it a chance.

Just like them punk ass

niggers watching. Shit.

This party seem bunk to me.

Man, you all supposed

to deliver at 1637 Blast Ave.

Look here,

I'll deliver this food anywhere,

you hear me, anywhere

as long as you got the money.

We got money.

Pay the man.

1637 Blast Ave.

You get paid

when we get fed.

MAN 2: That's ninja turtle ass.

MAN 3: Hey, man.

Somebody must've

switched the tape!

Man!

Night heat, God of lust,

we praise you!

[ALL SHOUTING]

Hi, Showboat. I'm sorry, baby.

No men are allowed.

We got business here.

We looking for Kid 'n Play.

And that's a man.

No, no, baby.

You are man.

That is a God.

[WHOOPS]

[♪♪]

Go over to the kitchen.

You check out the bathroom.

Boy, they're making Gods

smaller these days

and bowlegged.

This your stripper?

Yes, baby.

You better get a refund.

I'll show you stripping.

Hey, wait a minute.

Step aside.

That's all right.

Take your liberties with me.

I'm free. There you go, boy.

Be careful.

That's mine.

[PHONE RINGS]

[CHUCKLES]

Hello.

So-so.

How's my Aunt Lucy doing?

Eating my prunes,

waiting for Kid

to show up for his

bachelor party

and watching that ass.

Yo, let me hold the cellular.

Uh-uh.

This ain't no damn game.

Give me the phone!

Yo, Play,

the phone ain't turned on.

I'm fronting, man. I told you,

the hos like that.

Man, pay your damn bill.

Hey, man,

I sent them a couple of checks.

The phone company

don't take welfare checks.

It seems like

all I know is broke brothers.

Look, I got to

come over there. Shit.

Johnny, man,

what's up with Angina?

MARQUES:

Now, the moment

you've all been waiting for,

ALL [IN UNISON]:

Angina Williams!

[ALL CHEERING]

The Boat is in the house!

Showboat's getting ready

to get out the house.

Now, get to stepping.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Boat

is leaving the building.

Please,

don't do anymore parties.

Thank you.

You're wonderful.

Get out of here,

you steroid freaks.

Out!

Oh, don't let me down, man.

Yo, yo, check it out, Kid.

All for you, boy.

[♪♪]

Oh, man!

Stinky, Stinky,

take off your hat.

What?

Take off your hat.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪]

[ALL CHEERING]

Oh, come on.

Take all the goddamn money.

Hey, get off me.

Come on. Get off.

Hey, hey.

Get off me.

Move it.

Ahem, excuse me.

I'm president

of the All-That club

and I'm here to tell you

that you are all that.

Baby, I'll eat through

that dress to get to that ass.

No, fuck that dress.

I'll eat through them drawers.

What'd I say wrong?

What now?

Play would not let you down.

Close your eyes then.

Come on trust me.

This is it.

It's the bomb!

[♪♪]

Open your arms wide

for a big surprise.

Come on, honey.

[WHOOPS]

Are you the lucky man?

[PLAY LAUGHS]

[VOMITS]

Sydney?

Kid? Heh.

Hi!

Wow!

What are you doing here?

Um, I was celebrating

my grandparents'

wedding anniversary.

Wow, it's great to see you.

Um, it's been a long time.

Yeah.

Heh, a lot's happened.

Well, what are you doing--

You--

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Sorry. You go.

Go ahead.

Well, I hear you're taking

a job in Washington.

And you're getting married.

Veda is a lucky woman.

I wish you guys

a lot of happiness.

Well, heh, I better get back

to my grandparents.

Bye.

Heh, Kid,

I wish it had ended better

between us.

Yeah. Me too.

She's better for you.

She'll give you

what you need.

Yeah, heh,

I guess you're right.

I will always love you.

Friends?

Heh, friends.

[CHUCKLES]

Ohh!

Didn't I tell you about

Night Heat?

Yes.

I knew he was gonna work you.

He gave me, like,

a whoo thing!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, got you.

Bye.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, it's a good thing

I found out about this

before it was too late.

KID:

No, wait the minute. You didn't

see what you thought you saw.

What you thought you saw,

you didn't really see.

Okay, save the jokes, Kid.

Look, you've got it all wrong.

Okay?

Her grandparents are here

celebrating their anniversary

in another suite.

I didn't know she was here.

What are you talking about?

That's perfect.

So you give her a kiss

on her grandparents'

anniversary.

A kiss?

It was a "good-bye,

have a nice life" kiss,

thank you. Look,

you don't trust me? Fine!

This is what being married

is gonna be about, huh?

You gonna do

whatever anyway.

Time out! Time out!

Time out! Come on, man.

Let's talk.

Come on!

Come here.

He's gonna play me.

Uh-uh, uh-uh,

he is not all that.

Girl, you were wrong.

Janelle, I just saw my man

kissing his ex-girlfriend.

It was just a peck.

Yo, Kid, take time out, man,

turn this thing

the other way around.

You would've drawn

the same conclusion, man.

For the first time,

I'm convinced

that this woman's

gonna make you happy, man.

And you're ready to blow it?

Now, you say you love him.

If you really love him,

Veda,

then you got to trust him,

baby.

I got a lot invested

in this wedding, man.

I'll be damned

if it go down the tubes

over some misunderstanding

or I'm walking down the aisle

with Veda myself.

That's all there is to it.

Word up.

Come on, man.

She wouldn't have you.

Heh. Shit.

Now, what you need to do

is stop tripping

and take your big ass

back down them stairs

and go get your man!

Hey, Kiddo.

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

Look, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have

blown up at you.

[MOANS]

There you go. I've been looking

all over for you guys.

Telephone, man.

Uncle Vester.

Oh, jeez.

Yeah.

Handle it.

Uncle Vester?

Kid, you better hurry up

and get over here!

These boys got a party.

Everybody

and their mama's here,

including the law.

Okay, all right.

We'll be right there.

[BLOWS AIR]

Come over here

bothering people,

trying to embarrass

somebody.

Officers of the goddamn law!

What you wanna do?

I ain't scared of you.

I ain't Rodney King.

I'll get one of you.

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

OVER DISPATCHER]

OFFICER:

1637 Blast Avenue.

That disturbance

is now in control.

I'm gonna kill

those little guys.

This is your house?

Uh, yes.

Party's got to stop.

You're disturbing the peace.

Wait the minute.

Hold on, Officer Evans.

Um, my man here, he's getting

married tomorrow.

I'm just trying

to send him off in style.

Um, could you, uh...

Heh, are you married?

Yeah.

Come on, man,

think about it.

The night before

you lost your freedom,

you realized that night,

that's the last night

you gonna be hanging

with your homeys,

chasing after the honeys.

No more nothing, man,

just you,

the TV

and her.

Come on, man.

Come on.

You people

have a nice evening.

Okay.

Come on, man, let's talk.

I have a cousin that's

a marriage counselor.

[♪♪]

I can't believe

those little hard heads

could throw a hyper party

than me and Play.

Oh, heh, wait for me,

Janelle.

Party over here.

[GROANS]

It's 1:00.

Do you know

where your testicles are?

Where's my money?

We spent it.

Look, I'm getting

married tomorrow.

You wouldn't hurt

the family jewels?

Start cutting!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

Whoa, whoa!

See, now, that's funky.

Now, who is that?

Uh, that's our new group

Immature.

We just signed them.

We were getting ready

to tell you to check them out.

Hey, hey, hey, and the other act

as promised, my brother.

[YELLS]

Sex As A Weapon.

We got a deal?

Yeah. Deal.

Wait. I thought you signed

with Cold-Blood Management.

Since we heard about what

they did to those blind rappers,

we, uh, changed our mind.

That's right.

We can't be doing business

with peoples,

hear me now, like that.

We don't like that.

SEX AS A WEAPON:

Mmm!

Yeah. Mmm!

Uh, okay, girls, go in there

and use those weapons.

Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

PLAY:

Oh, that's two groups,

Rowboat.

I guess you owe us now,

huh?

Hook him up.

Yeah, hook me up.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Whoo.

See, man, I told you

I'd take care of everything,

man.

It's the American way.

Look, congratulations,

man.

That's for your honeymoon.

Excuse me boy,

can I have my baby now?

You can have your baby now.

Uh, excuse me.

Hey, Kid, we know, we've been

lots of trouble, so here.

Wow. Thanks a lot.

Unh.

That might be just enough

to clean up

after this bachelor party

of yours.

Hey, cuz.

My 50 percent.

Sure.

Let me get some change, man.

Can anybody

bust up a dollar?

Yo, you wrong, man.

I want my 50 percent, man.

I'll burn this place down,

man.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING

ON SPEAKERS]

♪ The D-most wreck in effect ♪

♪ House party set

Catching rep on a mic check ♪

♪ Before we tear it up I turn

And give my partner high five ♪

♪ Cause it's time

To get live ♪

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ When I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise

♪ Well, it's the Kid

from Kid'N Play ♪

♪ Now that's a rap group

I'm not that sup ♪

♪ But I'm living phat troop

You looking that cute ♪

♪ The girl in the cat suit

In my black coupe ♪

♪ Rhyming on the fat loops

Oops ♪

♪ Feelin' great, pop the tape

In the tape deck ♪

♪ And I'm-a catch wreck

Then catch a fat check ♪

♪ Check what the heck

Grab the mic for a mic check ♪

♪ Right before

Your eyes equalize ♪

♪ With the goose neck

Who's next ♪

♪ Who's gonna flex

With the hype rhyme ♪

♪ I think it's my time

I'm flowing like a pipeline ♪

♪ Going for the right sign

Gonna have a fine time

♪ Name up in neon

Like Deon going prime time ♪

♪ Trying to score a touchdown

Trying to make a slam dunk ♪

♪ Breakin' off a fat chunk

'Cause the track is mad funk ♪

♪ Niggas try to say

I never gave back ♪

♪ Get ready

For the payback ♪

♪ This a house party

Black ♪

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ P to the L-A-Y

In the place to be ♪

♪ What's the matter, brother

Didn't ya hear me, see ♪

♪ I'm the man

That ya heard about ♪

♪ The fly dark skin brother

Girls spread the word about ♪

♪ And when you wonder why

I get sex more ♪

♪ You get vexed more

'Cause I'm the boy next door ♪

♪ And when ya smile and grin

And then I go up in ♪

♪ And in a hour later

I'm at it again, friend ♪

♪ And then I'm ready to go

But you don't hear me though ♪

♪ And I'm-a bout to throw

Just like Riddick Bowe ♪

♪ I keep an even flow

Watch as I do the show ♪

♪ And I'm-a flip it

And kick it like judo ♪

♪ So don't try to say that

I can't when I can pull ♪

♪ Watch me trample

This hip hop sample ♪

♪ The choice is yours

Black ♪

♪ You can either catch a cap

Or get slapped ♪

♪ Or sing the chorus, Jack ♪

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Knock, knock

Ya gotta let me in ♪

♪ 'Cause I know

Ya got alligator skin ♪

♪ Underneath of your jim ♪

♪ And I only must pick up

Roughneck nigga ♪

♪ Check 'em in a sec

Just to see who's bigger ♪

♪ The Left never ever did expect

To flow it ♪

♪ I say it's time to get it up

I know he can't show it ♪

♪ And if he make a mistake

He'll never get it ♪

♪ Stupid mother ♪

♪ What's up? ♪

♪ But if my hat

Is to the back ♪

♪ Then ya can sort of

Say it's crooked ♪

♪ The look that only nookie

Gives a rough neck rookie ♪

♪ Jump, hump-a-hump

On the back, hit the front ♪

♪ Take a dump in the stump

Roll a big fat blunt ♪

♪ And if he's quick to hand it

To ya, don't grab it ♪

♪ He only really want it

If he know he can't have it ♪

♪ Chase a roughneck

Bet you'll say ♪

♪ Dagnabbit, Mr. Butterworth ♪

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ Make some ♪

ALL: Noise.

♪ So when I say make some

You say noise ♪

[♪♪]

[ALL CHEERING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

PLAY:

Yo, Kid, Veda, hold up! Kid.

Hold up, man.

Here you go, man.

A little something.

Voila!

Come on, man.

Kid 'n Play productions.

We gonna be large!

You got us a car?

Chill, man.

For business, man.

A tax write-off.

Enjoy it.

Congratulations.

Yo!

[SLOW BALLAD PLAYING

IN THE BACKGROUND]

[ALL CHEERING]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Oh, God, Angina.

[WHOOPS]

VESTER:

Come on, let's go half

on a baby.

Come on, I liked you

the first I saw you.

I'll make you bow-legged,

I swear to God.

♪ He's my inspiration ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And you know

You just don't understand ♪

♪ Our relation ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm down

He's the one ♪

♪ Who makes me feel

Real good inside ♪

♪ He keeps me going ♪

♪ He makes me feel ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him

I love him, I love him ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ The way he just don't

Understand ♪

♪ I just love him

I love him, I love him ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him ♪

[M.O.P.'S "HOW ABOUT

SOME HARDCORE" PLAYING]

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

We like it raw in the streets ♪

♪ For the fellas on the corner

Posted up 20 deep ♪

♪ With your F on your hip

Ready to flip ♪

♪ Whenever you empty your clip

Dip, trip your sidekick ♪

♪ You got skill

You best manage to chill ♪

♪ Do yourself a favor, don't

Come nowhere near the Hill ♪

♪ With that bull, word

Money grip, it'll cost ya ♪

♪ Make you reminisce of

Frank Nitti, The Enforcer ♪

♪ I move with M.O.P.'s

Last generation ♪

♪ Straight up and down, act

Like you want a confrontation ♪

♪ I packs my gat

I got to stay strapped ♪

♪ I bust mine, don't try to

Sneak up on me from behind ♪

♪ Don't sleep

I get deep when I creep ♪

♪ I see right now, gotta

Show you ain't nothin' sweet ♪

♪ Go get your hammer

And act like you want drama ♪

♪ I'll send a message

To your mama ♪

♪ Hello, do you know

Your one son left ♪

♪ I am licensed to kill

He had been marked for death ♪

♪ He's up the Hill

In the back of the building ♪

♪ With two in the dome

Stiffer than a tombstone ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore ♪

♪ Yeah, we like it rugged

In the ghetto ♪

♪ I used to pack sling shots

Now I'm packin' heavy metal ♪

♪ A rugged underground

Freestyler ♪

♪ Is Li'l Fame for you

Slap, Li'l Mallet ♪

♪ When I let off

It's a burning desire ♪

♪ Increase the peace, when

I release it be rapid fire ♪

♪ For the cause

I drop suckers like drawers ♪

♪ Derelicts hit the floors

From nickel-plated .44's ♪

♪ I'm takin' titles

When it's belt time ♪

♪ Play around, I have punks

Call the injury help line ♪

♪ I bust words in my verse

That'll serve ♪

♪ Even on my first nerve

I put herbs to curbs ♪

♪ 'Cause M.O.P.

Got the upper hand ♪

♪ I still write, make

My brother get up and dance ♪

♪ Front, I make it

A thrill to kill ♪

♪ Bringin' the ruckus

It's neighborhood hoods ♪

♪ For the hill

That's real ♪

♪ Me and mics, hustle

Light dubs and dice ♪

♪ So who wanna skate, 'cause

I'm puttin' thugs on ice ♪

♪ Whatever I drop must be rough

rugged and hard more ♪

♪ Yeah, how about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo, here I am, so what up?

Get it on, sucker ♪

♪ Checkin' Bill, seem to be

A ill black brother ♪

♪ I gets dough

From the way I flow ♪

♪ And before I go

You mothers gonna know ♪

♪ That I ain't nothin

To fuck with, duck quick ♪

♪ I squeeze when I'm stressed

Teflons'll tear your vest ♪

♪ I love a bloodbath

You don't know the half ♪

♪ You can feel the wrath

Saratoga, St. Marks Ave. ♪

♪ B-I-L-L-Y D-A-N-Z-E ♪

♪ N-I-E, me

Billy Danzenie ♪

♪ Knock, knock, who's there? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame

Li'l Fame who? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame, your knuckle, boom

Ease up off the trigger ♪

♪ It's a'ight, me and shorty

Go to gunfights ♪

♪ Together

We bring the ruckus, right? ♪

♪ We trump tight, a'ight? ♪

♪ I earned mine

So I'm entitled to a title ♪

♪ 7-30

That means I'm homicidal ♪

♪ Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore

Yeah, we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo, I scream on rappers

Like a rollercoaster ♪

♪ To wack competition

Go hang it up like a poster ♪

♪ Yo, get excited

But don't excite me ♪

♪ Don't invite me... ♪

House Party 3 (1994) - full transcript