Hotel Sahara (1951) - full transcript

[music playing]

Here in the heart of thedesert, peace is eternal.

Certainly is.

You know, it's so quiet.

After Chicago, my husbandcan't sleep nights.

He's taking sleeping pills.

I understand.

Oh, but I just love
the desert, Mr. Emad.

It is like madame herself.

Its greatest beauties liehidden, except to those who

know where to search for them.



That sounds fascinating.

Yes, it is.

I hope to be able to revealthose beauties to madame.

Perhaps tonight, when
the gentle breeze

stirs the palms of
the oasis and monsieur

has taken his sleeping pills.Perhaps.

Couldn't find it
anyplace, honey.

Your wrap, madame.

Yasmin, are you mad?

How dare you, making
love under my nose!

You're jealous.

I didn't know you were here.

I wasn't making love.

Liar!



I heard you making arendezvous with that woman.

"When the gentle breeze
stirs the palms."

I'll stir you!

I'll kill you!

Yasmin, she's a rich American.

Her husband takes pills.

Last time, it was a Dane andher husband took schnapps.

Well, I've had enough.

Tomorrow, mother and
I go back to Cairo.

But, Yasmin, you
can't leave me now.

You'll break my heart.

And if mama goes,
I am no cashier!

Yasmin, I am doing this for you.

Yasmin, when the season'sover, we'll be man and wife.

Then the Hotel Sahara
will belong to you

as much as it does to me.

Then you'll have to
be charming to guests

and make the
sacrifices that I do.

It's my work!

You love your work, don't you?

Yes!

No.

Emad Effendi.

Madame is like the rose
when it is full bloom.

Oh, flattering!

[laughter]

I will have
satisfaction for this!

Satisfaction?

There is no
satisfaction anywhere.

What's happened?

A catastrophe.

Dead.

Who is dead?

Maybe all of us.

Oh!

Stop, stop.

It's terrible.

Then why didn't you get a band.

[inaudible] Monsieurs,
dames, terrible news.

The Italians have
entered the war.

[screaming]

Say, I've got to put a
call through to Chicago.

Right away

Impossible.

Our telephones, the
fragile lines are cut.

We must evacuate the
hotel immediately.

The Italian Army isadvancing on Hotel Sahara!

We should have seen Americafirst, like the man said!

I tell you, the
dealers must be paid.

And I have no money, I tell you!

Send them to [inaudible].

What are you talking about?

This is not how
to speak of money.

I pay everybody.

Nobody pays me.

I have to pay waiters,
servants, now dancers.

I gave up three months invaudeville, top of the bill,

to dance on this sand bank!

You'll pay the contractsin full or I tell my union.

Union?

Mama, pay this
hippopotamus her money.

And may it choke you.

Where is Yasmin?

Yasmin!

She won't be-- she
won't be a moment.

She's packing.

The last bus, please, hm!

Quick, quick, or we'll
all find ourselves

dead with our throat cut.

Could I have a cup
of coffee, mama?

Why haven't you changed?

The bus is leaving!

No, no, Emad.

We must stay here.

But are you mad?

We'll be murdered in our beds.

Oh, I don't think I'll
be murdered in my bed.

Yasmin is right.

You might be murdered,
Emad, but not me.

And certainly not Yasmin.

You're both mad.

I have met soldiers.

They are simple men
with simple taste.

I'm staying too.

But they'll steal
everything, burn

everything, wreck everything.

That is exactly
why we must stay--

to stop them and
to save the hotel.

How can we ever marry if werun away and lose everything?

That sense.

Use your brains.

You've got a head
on your shoulders.

[honking]

Ye-- yes, I want
to keep it there.

Now, please, Yasmin, we
must get out of here.

It's too late, Emad Effendi.

You've missed the bus.

Huh?

Mama, Mama.

Yes?

Get the silver.

Oh, and give me a table cloth.

Yes.

Hide your jewels.

Soldiers think only
of three things--

loot, liquor, and love.

Very well.

We will bury the silver,
lock the cellar, and--

why did I ever listen to you?

Because you love
me, and I love you,

and we've got to
think of the future.

Oh, Yasmin, I think ofnothing but you, my chicken.

The chicken.

Soldiers are worse than locusts.

They devour everything.

Mama, Yusef, get the
chicken into the cellar

before those bandits arrive.

Never mind about
your face, Mama.

Fix the menu.

The du jour is spaghetti.

Yusef.

Quick, onto the roof with this.

This is no time for goats.

Oh, I can't leave
poor Suleiman outside.

They'll eat him.

He smells.

He must go, I tell you.

Now, get.

[bell ringing]

Oh.

They are coming!

There is no cause for alarm.

We must remain quite calm.

Mama, table flags!

[speaking italian]

Oh, they are here!

There's nothing to be afraid of.

All we have to do is
to keep our heads.

[speaking italian]

Quick, for your
lives, take cover!

[speaking italian]

Yasmin, where are you?

[speaking italian]

Shh.

[speaking italian]

Oh!

[speaking italian]

Salaam.

[speaking italian]

Only Arabic, English,
or French, or--

You're the proprietor?

Yes, general.

Capitano Alberto [inaudible].

Who's in the hotel?

The staff.

You may lower your hands.

Everyone here is now
subject to military law.

Any communication with theenemy will be punished by death.

Oh.

There is no need to
be alarmed, signorina.

And who is this?

That?

That's Mademoiselle
Yasmin Pallas.

It's my fiance.

We're going to be married.

And her mother.

Yasmin, che bella fiore.

And you are as beautiful asthe flower itself, signorina.

The capitano is thirsty?

A cinzano perhaps, eh?

If you would care to join me.

Uh-huh.

Yusef, majordomo.

At your service,
Capitano Effendi.

Yes, he's the last.

Perhaps the Capitano
would care to stay

for lunch beforecontinuing on his journey.

This is spaghetti Bolognese.

Ah, magnifico.

Yes, you like?

Then I prepare it
for you myself.

You know, with--
and the whole thing.

And--

Yes, if you like it that way.

It's a matter of taste.

But I regret the Capitanomust use his own cutlery.

Those thieves of waiters
stole all my silver

when they ran away.

Padrone, my instructions areto requisition this hotel

and to clear it
of all occupants.

However, there are occasionswhen the duties of war

must be tempered by mercy.

You and your charming
staff might continue

in your present duties untilwe have brought this campaign

to an triumphant conclusion.

Salute!

Salute!

Salute!

Ah, there is one more thing.

I like fresh milk in my coffee.

Ah, that will be impossible.

Padrone, to a good soldier,nothing is impossible.

Allora, Giuseppi!

I have brought my own supply.

This is Marietta.

[singing in italian]

[baaing]

I forbid you to see him!

But I'm doing this for you.

For me?

To save the hotel.

We all have to make sacrifices.

My conscience is clear.

Your conscience is too simple.

It believes every word you say.

[singing in italian]

So you are making
sacrifices too!

Oh, it is no hardship.

Don't be a jealous fool.

Why do you think the hotelisn't burned down and ruined?

Why do you think you theyare so pleasant and amiable?

I don't care to think.

I don't dare to think.

All I know is that
they eat my food.

They pay nothing.

They drink my drink.

They pay nothing.

And all day long, they
are chasing after you.

Hah.

I'm going mad.

Oh, don't, Emad.

I can't bear to
see you so unhappy.

You know it's only you I love.

You've got to trust me.

Oh, Yasmin, I'm sorry.

My children, my children!

Oh, be patient a little while.

It can't last forever.

When the war's over,they'll all go home again.

And the guests will come back.

Danes and Dutchmen with
kroners and guilders.

Americans with
dollars and Englishmen

with pounds and
elegant motorcars.

Ah, civilization.

What is it, sir?

A demolished frontier post.

Let's take a look inside.

Yes, Mavis could
do with a cooler.

Try and stop that
confounded backfiring.

It sounds like guns.

I can't.

She sprung a leak and
she's overheating.

Blew up, sir?

Yes, make it a meal.

What's for lunch?

As if we didn't know.

"Meat and vegetable stew!"

Well, what do you expect,lark's tails and caviar?

Yes, and go easy with the water.

Quarter of a pint per man.

- Only a quarter of a point?

And me thinking of havinga bath and a shave.

Well, it's a-- it's a bitwhiffy, old boy, isn't it?

The trouble with you Binns isyou got no imagination at all.

Why can we never
have beans and bacon?

'Cause there ain't
no beans and bacon!

Go on, son.

Nip up that sand and
keep your eyes skinned.

We're in enemy
country, remember?

Yes, well, where
the devil are we?

Um.

Well, I should
think we're about--

we're anywhere--
we're about there.

Well, you'd better get itsorted out, Puffin, my boy.

We'll be out of
water by tomorrow.

Ooh, what a smell of hair cream.

The air force been here, Sir?

No, just one their
feathered friends.

Yes, but [inaudible].

Grub's up, sir.

Oh, good.

Yes, and we'll have a littlecheese to follow today, Binns.

But there ain't no cheese, sir.

Oh, no cheese?

You know, Binns, your cateringlacks the magic touch.

Variety's the spice of
life, you know, Binns.

Yes, just bear that
in mind, will you?

"We'll have a little
bit of cheese, Binns."

Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

[singing]

[phone ringing]

Is that the [inaudible] stores?

A Major Randall and Mr. Cheynewould like a nice gorgonzola

sent round right away.

Yes, make it a
ripe one, will you?

Hello?

Who are you?

240162, sir.

Private Binns.

Who are you?

Me?

I am wrong number.

What?

Sir, sir, sir!

What is it?

Someone answered.

Answered what?

The telephone.

For me.

All right, Binns.

Sit down and have your food.

You've had a hard day.

But, sir!

You better stay in
the shade, Binns.

I heard it as clear
as a bell, sir.

Hello, he says.
Hello, I says.

Wrong number, he
says and hung up.

Well, you better
take it easy, mate.

Eddie said himself hecould make that lot work.

You know what your trouble
is, Binns, don't you?

It's the diet.

But I tell you, it's true, sir.

I put a few wires
in a hole, bung

in a couple of plugs,
twiddled on the handle,

and then I tell you
I heard a voice.

All right, all
right, Joan of Arc.

Don't worry your pretty
little head about it.

Your dinner's getting cold.

[music playing]

Yasmin.

Yasmin!

Oh, very pretty.

Very beautiful.

Great artist, Capitano.

You think so?

Convinced of it.

But if I might make
one suggestion.

The English are here.

What?

Yes, I don't know where.

Somewhere here.

They telephoned.

So, Capitano.

They asked for cheese.

Emad, go and lie down.

Rest.

I'll bring you
some chamomile tea.

I don't want any chamomile tea.

I want these idiots out ofhere as soon as possible.

That's impossible.

Now, let me see the effect.

There, Capitano.

If they meet here,
they will fight.

They will destroy everything.

You must get rid of them.

How?

I don't know.

Thank you, Signor Emad.

That's fine.

Signor Capitano, you havebeen here a long time.

It has been most pleasant.

Signor Capitano, thishotel is no good for you.

It isn't a fortress.

It won't help you win the war.

Why don't you go and
leave us in peace?

Emad, what are you saying?

My dear fellow, strategically,of course your hotel

is of no importance.

But armies are like dogs
who fight about a bone.

One snatches it.

He does not want it, buthe snatches it for the fear

that the other dog
might get it first!

Your hotel, Signor
Emad, is a bone.

My hotel is very far
from being a bone.

It is my livelihood.

It's all I have in the world!

Why don't you go and
fight in the desert.

Because we are like dogs.

Or sons of dogs.

What?

Oh, oh, please, Capitano,take no notice of him.

He's not well.

He's rambling.

Emad, go to bed.

Capitano, please?

Very well.

But, Signor Emad,
guard your tongue!

Well, we must go
to work, Capitano.

I'm dying to see howbeautiful you will make me.

You feeling a bit more
rational now, mate?

Oh, bad enough.

And I'll tell--

Yes, you've told us, Binns.

Puffin?

Yeah?

Do what you can
for Mavis's pump.

When you're ready, we'll move.

Righto, sir.

I wish I'd never
joined this army.

Never appreciated.

That's my trouble.

He don't believe anything I say.

None of these guys
here believe me.

"It's the diet, Binns."

"That's what it is.

It's the diet."

Emad.

Hm?

You shouldn't have
talked to him like that.

He might have made
you a prisoner.

We're all prisoners now.

And we will be until we
rid ourselves of them.

There is a way, Emad Effendi.

Oh!

No, no, no, no.

We want no bloodshed here.

There are too many
of them, in any case.

[whistle blows]

What is that?

[speaking italian]

[whistle blows]

What is happening?

I've received fresh
orders by radio.

We are needed.

You hear that, Mama?

They are going.
No.

Oh, no.

Oh, but you will come back?

Of course.

But all good things
must come to the end.

Now, let's help them
on their journey.

Eh, Mama?

Uh, Yusef, get
sandwiches for them.

Does it make you
so sad, Alberto?

But it's quite natural.

We've become such good friends.

Yes, I am sorry too.

That is not all.

Our armies on the coast
have met with a reverse.

We are withdrawing.

I've had orders to
destroy all structures

and to make them
useless to the enemy.

That is war.

Your hotel is a
structure, is it not?

The world is mad, Signor Emad.

Believe me, I hate havingto carry out these orders,

but I am a soldier.

But what is to become of us?

We will evacuate you to safety.

You must make ready
to leave at once.

Oh, I'm sorry, Emad.

I should have listened to you.

It's all my fault.

No one is to blame.

We've done what we
could and failed.

We are hostages of
fate and Italians.

Don't tell Mama.

We must prepare.

[phone ringing]

No!

You will be shot!

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Sir!

What we'll have to do is
to make a square search

and hope the water holds out.

Sir, sir, I've done it again.It's alive.

It's a skirt.

Hello, hello, hang on.

Hello.

Hello.

Chi parla?

Non parla.

Only French and English.

Oh, capital!

I say, do you mind speaking up?

The line-- line's not too good.

I say, can't you get
it better than this?

Hello?

I say, who are you?

This is Hotel Sahara speaking.

Ho-- Hotel Sahara?

I-- I say, what's thewater situation like there?

Oh, there's plenty of water.

This is [inaudible] Oasis.

Where are you?

At a frontier post.

Oh, the frontier post.

We thought our line was cut.

[inaudible]

Yes, there's plenty of water.

This is a tragedy for our hotel.

"Our hotel?"

Yes, I was going to
propose we become

brothers and bring all myrelations here after the war.

Oh.

I wrote to them.

It will break their hearts.

They will recover, no doubt.

We must play for time andhope the English get here.

There's no other way
to save the hotel.

No, I don't care
about the hotel.

They'll fight.

You may be killed.

And there's Mama.

We must take our
chance, do what we can.

But what?

I will keep the
Capitano occupied.

You must delay them.

No, no!

Quick, leave me!

Yasmin, you must prepare.

[moaning]

What is the trouble?

Oh, Alberto, my
head is splitting.

But [inaudible].

Signor, I can't
really take no more.

Look.

We need everything for
our new hotel in Napoli.

The war won't last forever.

Go up.

You're lighter.

Ah, charity is a great virtue.

Giuseppi, be careful.

160 soup plates.

Go near the trunk,
where it's soft.

Ah, Napoli.

It will be a great partnership.

Yes.

I know everybody.

I've got many good
connections, you know.

Very good.

Have you, really?
Yes.

Alberto, why can't we
wait until nightfall?

It is impossible.

What it will be cooler then.

And so romantic with
the moon and you.

I will not be afraid.

It is impossible.

Yasmin, you-- you
must prepare yourself.

You're keeping the Capitanowaiting I have prepared--

[speaking italian]

Fate's with, Yasmin.

The truck has to be repaired.

It may take hours.

Ahem.

In that case, you will haveyour last dinner here with us.

I will make you somethingreally very special.

What's it going to be?

A big surprise.

[drums playing]

[SINGING] I love a man.

Foolish me.

Oh, yes.

It began harmlessly, butoh, [inaudible] I can see I

love that man.

I can't explain why it is I'mclay in those gay hands of his.

He's one of those
dark, mysteries, a man.

I wake each morning in aglow, for I adore him so.

And thought he
devil's in his eye,

yet he can be sweet as an angel.

I love a man foolishly.

And yet since we
met, life for me

has changed to a
strange ecstasy.

Oh, you see, I love a man.

Yasmin, you must alwaysthink of this as our song.

I always do, Alberto,
every time I sing it.

Ahem.

[speaking italian]

Transport is ready.

Go, now and collect
your things, Yasmin.

We leave in 15 minutes.

Play our tune,
Alberto, once again.

[guitar playing]

[speaking italian]

But you're not gonna
blow it up now.

I still have things
to bring out.

Not yet.

Just when we leave.

[speaking italian]

Oh.

Let me take your
bags, [inaudible],,

and have a last look
around, and then I

have to pack you in the truck.

Oh, Giuseppi!

There's a bottle in the
cellar of champagne!

Oh.

Yes!

How dangerous to blow it up.

The cork might damage somebody.

Oh, wait here, and we willdrink a farewell toast.

Oh, Giuseppi.

Yes, wait here.

[speaking italian]

[non-english speech]

English!

Hundreds of them in chariots!

[gunshot]

Oh, no.

No, no, Alberto.

Please, no fighting.

Oh, you're too brave to die.

Look, it's-- it's
all my fault. I--

[speaking italian]

[gunshots]

We're surrounded.

We're surrounded.

The evacuation must be
carried out as planned.

Get the others and take
them to the cover track.

Lay flat in it, and don'tmove until we're well clear.

Good luck, Alberto!

[gunshots]

[speaking italian]

[speaking italian]

[speaking italian]

[speaking italian]

Capitano.

Where the devil have you been?

Are Yasmin and the
others in the truck?

Everything Is fixed,
Signor Capitano.

Then why the delay?

The bill.

The bill?

Are you mad?

Get into the truck!

[speaking italian]

Anyone at home?

Oh, Giuseppi!

Oh.

Welcome to Hotel
Sahara, gentlemen.

Thanks.

Very civil of you.

You the proprietor?

My name is Randall,
Major Randall.

We had quite a job finding you.

My name is Cheyne,
Captain Cheyne.

Acting captain.

How do you do?

How do you do?

A glass of wine.

Some champagne to
speed you on your way.

Oh, very good of you.

Thank you very much.

It's a pleasure.

Yes.

You all right on champagne?

[inaudible]

Please.

Thank you.

Astonishing good luck.

Yes, I think we're going
to be very happy here.

Yes, sir, happy as sand boys.

Good evening.

Ah, the young lady Ispoke to on the telephone.

Mademoiselle Yasmin Pallas.

She's my fiance.

This is Major Randall.

And I am her mother.

Yeah, and very nice too.

You must be simply exhaustedafter your journey.

My name is Cheyne.

We always have a cup of teaat this hour, Mr. Cheyne.

Allow me.

May I help you?

Perhaps you'd care to join us?

Yes.

Thank you.

Have a good sleep?

Like a [inaudible].

Clean sheets, pillows, amattress full of feathers.

Nothing missing but theMrs. Just had a bath too.

Sweet as a nut.

Oh, you lovely thing.

Leave me to it.

I've used all the
ass's milk, so you'll

have to make do with water.

And don't waste your timewith that Belmont chambermaid.

Why not?

I've tried it.

Oh, sorry, Dill.

After you.

Breakfast in half an hour.

Oh, thank you, Miss Yasmin.

Thank you, Miss Yasmin.

Extraordinary fellows,
these Italians.

Must've been a brigade
of barbers here,

one for every day of the week.

Hair oil too.

Ah, morning, Aladdin.

How's your wonderful lamp?

It is not a lamp.

It is coffee for Madame Pallas.

Is it now?

Here, I'll tell you what.

You go and have a quiet
game of tiddlywinks, eh?

I'll take the
coffee into madame.

Right?

Right.

Oh, I get it.

No taste in nothing, eh?

No taste in nothing.

That's my boy.

Now, give this to
your Uncle Charlie.

Ah, number nine.

Wakey, wakey.

I brought your coffee, madame.

Show a leg.

Oh, Mr. Binns, you
must excuse me.

I hope you are [inaudible].

Lady, you can rely on that.

Thank you.

I say, bacon and eggs!

Jolly good show.

Oh, but I regret
we have no silver.

The Italians tookeverything when they left.

Oh, disgusting.

Don't worry about us.

We're issued with irons.

With irons?

Irons.

Jolly hot tea?

Thank you.

Emad, the marmalade.

We have your English
marmalade to follow.

Marmalade?

By Jove.

I say, it's just likebreakfasting at the Paddington

Station Hotel.

That's in England, you know.

England, oh, I love England.

Walking across the moors
with the dogs, the wind

blowing and the rain driving.

Yes, jolly useful stuff, rain.

Don't appreciate it until you'vebeen to a place like this.

Morning.

Mr. Cheyne, how
handsome you look.

Do you think so?

Sleep well?

Like a top.

You?

Like a top.

Shall I pour?

Thank you.

I'll have milk first please.

What, fresh milk?

How splendid.

Thanks to Marietta.

Marietta?

Our goat.

Oh, yeah.

She was a present from theCapitano who used to be here.

He was very nice.

You know something funny?

He used the same perfume as you.

[chuckling]

You know, Bill, this is afirst rate base [inaudible]..

What is it this time?

Blowing up ammunitiondumps or raiding convoys?

Neither.

You're in the
diplomatic corps now,

my boy, the higher strategy.

I don't get it.

Well, there's no way,
since there are Arabs.

The object of the
exercise will be

to get pally with the
sheikhs and use them

as a local intelligence service.

I wish I'd known.

I'd have had CD plates
put on the vehicles.

Yes, well, you'd better
get Mavis's pump fixed.

We'll need her.

Here's the milk, Bill.

I was thinking of going to--

Get to work elsewhere.

Yes, well, I'm afraid
that'll have to wait.

[baaing]

I say, my sirrah, what awonderful show of vegetables

you got here.

The goats think so too.

You've got green
fingers, old man.

Pity there's no one
to show 'em off to.

Oh, except Arabs, I suppose.

Any of them around here?

Oh, yes.

There are Arabs.

You know, they come, they go.

Yeah, and fold their tents.

Yes, I know.

You know 'em well?

I am their blood brother.

For me, they'd do anything.

If there is somebody I don'tlike, even you, Major Randall.

[chuckling]

Here, have a cigarette.

Oh.

So when did you last see 'em?

Oh, not since before the war.

We used to organize Arab feasts,you know, for the guests,

with music, dancing,
camel racing.

Sounds very enjoyable.

But very expensive.

Oh, they like money, eh?

Money?

What's the use of
money in the desert?

Goods.

You would not believe
some of the things

I have to get for them.
Oh?

What sort of things?

Ooh, tea, sugar,
cigarettes, boiled

sweets, teapots, redbloomers for the women, even

alarm clocks.

Amazing.

Alarm clocks.

Early risers, eh?

Without goods, they
will give you nothing.

Amazing.

You know, I'd like to meet 'em.

Major, this is exactly
the season for so doing.

If you mention my name, youwill be an honored guest.

They live with their
flocks in the desert,

only a few hundred miles away.

Oh, we must pop out and
have a chat with 'em.

Yes, do that, Major.

Lose no time.

[giggling]

You are wicked, Mr. Cheyne.

And those ladies in
your tennis club,

they sound most audacious.

I wouldn't fear.

Just sport, you know.

Sometimes, at the club flanneldances when there's a cup--

uh, cider cup.

That's an English drink.

You wouldn't know about that.

Quite often, the girls are--

I know.

They become beautiful.

There isn't one that couldhold a candle to you, Yasmin.

You don't mind me
calling you "Yasmin."

My name's Edgar.

Everybody calls me "Puffin."

Ever since I saw you--

Puffin, mind if I
have a word with you?

Excuse me, Miss Yasmin.

Got a pencil?

Yeah.

Right, requisition for stores.

QMDHUME.

Tea, pounds, 600, sugarhandle weight, three, sweets,

boiled, assorted, handle weight,six, cigarettes, woodbines,

wild, 5,000, caps, skull withtassels, dozens, four, pots,

tea, enamel, 20, bloomers,red, ladies, [inaudible],,

pairs, dozens, two, clocks,alarm, luminous chromium,

dozens, four.

Got that?

Well, yes.

Right, I'll sign it.

Is Mavis serviceable?

Uh, yes.

Good.

You can leave her here.

Take the truck and one man,make your way back to base,

and get HQ cracking
on the shopping list.

And get the stuff backhere as quick as you can.

I'm giving a party.

Yes, well, it's going to
take a deuce of a time,

isn't it, Bill?

[SINGING] Early one morning--[chuckling]

--Just as the sun was shining--

Oh, don't worry.

I shall have plenty to do.

Observation jobs,reconnaissance, night patrols.

All splendid to keep
an eye on, you know.

Yes, well, now, look, Bill--

Oh, by the way, you canadd something to that list.

Nylons, pairs, dozens, one,
and charge 'em up to me.

Pleasant journey.

Right.

So I drove the truck up
to the top of this dune,

and there I was, face to facewith two enemy armored cars.

No.

Yes, but before I got a chanceto think, I let 'em have it.

Bang, bang, one caught fire.

Bang, bang, bang, the
other one turned tail.

No!

Yes, I'm telling you.

Oh.

And there I was, on my way toCairo to collect me medals,

and all of a sudden, overthe top of another dune,

comes a mark 3 tank
with all these guns

trained on yours truly.
Mm-hm.

Do you know what I did?

Yeah, you woke up.

Ain't you got any lettersto write, corporal?

I've finished the layout
on that chicken run,

madame, if you care
to come outside.

Now, why don't you go away?

Madame and me's busy.

Corporal Puller.
Oh.

I want to volunteer
to go back to base.

Binns, you'll do.

Get your kit packed.

Yes, sir, but I was just--

Come on now, Binns, hurry up.

I don't know.

Every time You get
a cushy [inaudible]..

Go on into battle, Errol Flynn.

You got another war to win.

They are leaving.

Leaving?

Yes, they're going.

To look for the Arabs.

They'll be months and months.

Oh, I felt I couldn't go
without saying goodbye.

You're not going already.

But you've only just arrived.

C'est la guerre.

Oh, it's terrible.

I must pick some fruit
for your journey.

Well, you are very wise totravel while it is night.

It's so easy to
get lost at night.

I could get lost anywhere.

Excuse me.

I will personally putthese things in your truck,

Mr. Cheyne, with some wine.

Thank you so much.

Well, it's goodbye, Yasmin.

But I shall be back.

That's what the
Capitano said too.

Yes, well, I'm not
worried about him.

No, it's the skipper,
Major Randall.

Wonderful chap, born leaderof men and all that, but,

you know, when I'm away.

He is not going?

No, that's what I'm
trying to get at.

He'll be here, alone with you.

And I'm very fond
of him, Yasmin,

but, well, you see,
a chap of his age

really ought to be on
a desk job in Cairo.

He's frightfully susceptible.

Puffin, you're jealous.

Not at all.

It's just that I
don't want the old boy

to go making a fool of himself.

You really think he's dangerous?

No, of course I don't.

He's been over quite
bit a grass in his time.

Yes, there was a girl in Cairo.

I don't think I should
tell you about her.

Don't let's talk about him.

Yasmin, promise me that
you won't forget me.

I'll never forget you, Puffin.

[horn blowing]

Coming.

I'd like to bring yousomething back, something

you'll remember me by.

Oh, please, Puffin,
nylons size nine!

Nylons.

[horn blowing]

Puffin!

[blows kiss]

[horn blowing]

For the journey.

Thanks, pal.

Yes.

Yusef, get the Major his hat.

What's the hurry, Major?

No, no.

I'm not going.

What?

Bye.

Let's go, Binns.

What's for lunch?

Goat.

Hello there.

Long time, no see.

Am I glad to see you, sir.

Well, where's my
[inaudible] bath?

Run into any trouble?

Nothing much.

Kipped down one night withthe highland division,

or thought we did.

Slept like babies.

Turned out at first light thatwe'd joined the Afrika Korps.

We started early that morning.

Did you get the [inaudible]?

Yeah, the old
quarter bloke thought

I was sand-happy when he readit, but I got it in the end.

Well, you go and clean up.

When you feel like it,we'll have an [inaudible]..

Right.

By the way, did you managemy little commission?

Sorry, Bill.

I tried everywhere, butthere wasn't a single pair

of nylons left in Cairo.

But I managed to
get some others.

Oh, good.

Yes, some smashing pairs oflisle thread, flesh colored.

They say the Arab ladies
prefer them anyway.

Hm, I'll see you later.

Statesmanship, Binns.

Statesmanship.

Puffin!

And to think I've
been hiding from you.

Oh, how wonderful
to see you back.

Yasmin, I've thought
of nothing else

but you all the
time I've been away

I don't believe you.

You've been to Cairo.

I can prove it.

Oh, Puffin, you're
wonderful, wonderful.

Oh!

So sorry.

It's a bit dusty, I'm afraid.

Ah, I say, old man, Iwanna have a word with you.

Now, I know you want
to see the back of us.

To help the Major on his
way would be a pleasure.

Splendid.

Now, I tell you what
I want you to do.

I want you to go to theseArab friends of yours

with token gifts from meand arrange a conference.

No.

Oh, well, then I'm afraidwe'll just have to stick

around and hope they turn up.

[giggling]

Oh, look at the beautifulpresent Puffin has given me.

So you have come back withtoken gifts, have you?

Major, if I arrange
this conference,

do you promise to go,
all of you, for good?

But definitely!

Very well.

You win.

Well done.

Then you set off at first light.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Cheynewill be going with you.

[trumpet playing]

[chuckling]

Sandbags in the desert?

It's like your
English [inaudible]

to Newcastle, Mr. Cheyne.

Yes, well, they don't issue uswith armor-plated underpants,

you know.

In case of mines, chum.
Puff.

Come on, Binns.

Put the [inaudible] in.

Right, you are, sir.

Come on, Santa Claus.

Only 50 shopping
days to Christmas.

You've got a nice
sack of toys there.

Kiss the kids for me.

[honking]

Nip out, old chap, will
you, and see what it is.

What's that?

It's a minefield.

Hop in, old man.
We'll skirt it.

Oh, it must have
been a stray one.

It's all right.

Nothing to worry about.

No?

No, this won't stop us.

No?

It's only the wheel.

We've got a spare one.

I shouldn't get out.

No?

Might tread on another.

Oh.

[SINGING] To a strange,
to a strange ecstasy.

For you see, I love a man.

Yasmin, you're like
a breath of peace.

It was charming of you
to have dressed for me.

Will you promise me something?

Well, it depends, Major.

Well, it sounds sillyperhaps, but I'd like you

to think of this as our song.

Will you?

Oh, I always do, Major.

Every time I sing it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're like all the English.

Sentimental.

Yeah, queer, isn't it?

You know, there's somethingabout this place, though.

A sort of enchantment.

No wonder these desert nomadshad such quiet dignity,

such matchless calm.

[speaking arabic]

[alarm ringing]

[speaking arabic]

They greet you, blood brother.

Peace be with you.

[shouting]

Hey, what do you make of that?

Smashing.

The great thing is to
keep your legs together.

Watch.

See what I mean?

Now you have a go.

Like that?

Not that at all.

Keep at it.

Practice makes
perfect, you know.

Jerry hard-track,
two 30 plate guns.

Tell the Major!

[inaudible] Jerrydetachment approaching, sir.

How many?

An armored hard-track witha couple of guns on it

and about a dozen men.

Right, get dressed.

Start the truck.

I'll be with you in a minute.

We must be leaving.

You'd better come with us.

No, no, no, I'm staying.

I can't leave Emad.

Crikey, poor Puffin.

Oh, all right.

We'll keep undercover.

Oh, I'm sorry about this.

Good luck, Major.

Thanks.

We'll be back.

Get a move on
[inaudible],, will you?

They'll be on us!

Well, you might have the
common decency to wait

till we're out of the place.

Now, come on, ducks,
down in the cellar.

And don't you worry,
we'll be back.

All set?

Couple of minutes, sir.
Good.

I'll go and get my clothes.

Oh, give me a booby trap, Binns.

Yes, sir.

Thanks.

Blimey, don't you
worry, will you?

Sir, Major!

Oh, you must hurry, Major.

Yusef.
Sir!

Sir Effendi.

Get out of here as
soon as you can.

Warn Monsieur Emad
and Mr. Cheyne

that the Germans are here.

I'll try and intercept
them, but if I

can't, tell Mr. Cheyne tomeet me at the frontier post.

Got it?

I got it.

Well, let's get moving, sir.

Oh, and tell Emad not
to use that washroom.

Sir!

All right, I'll go
and get my clothes.

No time, sir!
It's now or never.

They're on us!

Yasmin, where are you?

Oh, and don't forget
about that washroom.

Come on, man!

All right, sir!

Get cracking.

[speaking german]

Leutnant von Heilicke.

Your name?

Yasmin Pallas.

What do you do here?

This is our hotel.

I'm a member of the staff.

Then in future, you will
attend to your duties

in a more fitting
and modest costume.

[speaking german]

Who are you?

Yusef, majordomo,
Captain Effendi.

Where's the proprietor?

He visits friends, Effendi.

Only one, two days camel ride.

I will go for him.

No one shall leave the hotel.

Who's in charge
during his absence?

I am, Herr Leutnant.

Then, pay attention.

This hotel is requisitioned.

It will be run on
strictly military lines.

But in accordance with thelaws of humanitarian warfare,

I shall not evict you.

Thank you, Herr Leutnant.

My men are disciplined soldiers.

They will cause no trouble.

As for myself, my
wants are simple.

They will be attended
to, Herr Leutnant.

Thank you.

I see a welcome
has been prepared.

One minor change, and
I shall be satisfied.

[speaking german]

You wash, Effendi?

What?

Yes.

Very nice bathroom upstairs.

Very sweet, very clean.

I have work to do.

I shall bath later.

Upstairs, Effendi.

Water no good here.

No hot.

I prefer cold!
Hartmann.

[explosion]

Booby-- booby traps!

Search the place everywhere!

Everyone's under house arrest!

[sneeze]
Oh!

Gesundheit!

[rooster crowing]

[speaking german]

Coffee, Leutnant Effendi.

The Arabs in this part of thedesert, are they friendly?

Very friendly.

Only cut Christian throats.

There is a small party ofthem approaching this hotel.

Well, that would be Emad Effendiwith the friends he visit.

I told you.

Hm.

[speaking german]

Oh, please, Leutnant
Effendi, no shooting.

They're all friends.

There will be no shootingunless it's necessary.

You serve my coffee.

[speaking german]

There's no place like home.

Tell them to settle down
while I get the Major.

Yes.

Yasmin!

Yasmin.

Where is everyone?

When the cat's away,
the mice, they play.

But still, it's early.

It's very early.

What happened?

Where's the Major?

The Major is waiting foryou at the frontier post.

The Germans are here.

[marching]

[speaking arabic]

Tell them not to worry.

Yes.

Tell them there's
been some mistake.

Uh.

[speaking arabic]

We must hide.
Quick, in the cellar.

[speaking german]

Your name is "Emad"?

Oh, yes.

These-- these are my friends.

They came to see the place,and now they have seen it,

and they're going away again.

Why are you in
such a hurry, huh?

Perhaps you didn't
expect to find me here.

Uh.

Well, why don't you answer?

Ah, there you are at last.

Good morning, Herr Leutnant.

Good morning.

I trust you slept well.

Thank you.

I thought you were
never coming back.

He has fallen into these lazyEnglish ways, Herr Leutnant.

They are a very bad influence.

Now, the goats are all ready.

The goats?

They are?

Eight males, four females,9 kids, 21 in all.

Every year at this
time, our Arab friends

come to renew their
flocks, Herr Leutnant.

Goats are very
important to them--

food and drink.

Emad, take the sheikhs
to see them now.

I'll show the goats to myfriends, Herr Leutnant.

You will excuse
me, Herr Leutnant,

but I have so much
to do in the kitchen.

Certainly, gnadiges Fraulein.

[speaking arabic]

Herr Emad, one moment.

Those Arabs, who are they?

Oh, sheikhs.

Important men.

Have they many followers?

Very ferocious.

Good.

You know, Machiavelli oncesaid "It is wiser and cheaper

to win the friendship
of the conquered

than to put them
to fire and sword."

I agree.

I agree.
Good.

Then they will stay.

No one will leave.

Oh, but they can't do that.

They have their
responsibilities.

They must go back.

They must go back to theircamels, their donkeys,

their goats, to their wives.

But I'll entertain them first.

I'll feast them royally tonight.

[music playing]

[speaking arabic]

What is it?

The eyeball.

Tell him I never touch it.

But you must.

[speaking arabic]

You must.It's a mark of his favor.

He won't betray you.

He's on your side.

[chuckling]

[speaking arabic]

You are having a marveloussuccess, Herr Leutnant.

The sheikhs think that
you are a great man.

They do?

After the feast, I'm goingto talk to them, one by one.

No, no.

They don't like being separated.

I have certain questionsto ask, which I think they

would prefer to answer alone.

Serve the coffee, will you?

Right away, Herr Leutnant.

It is like you, my liebling.

Yes, but it's full
of a pits, Gunther.

Ah, but it is plump and sweet.

Oh, [inaudible] the Leutnantwants his indigestion powder.

[speaking german]

We must get that idiot ofan Englishman out of here.

Well, now what has happened?

The Leutnant's seeing
them one by one.

Cheyne's bound to
give himself away.

Then the fat will
be in the fire.

Yes, and I know
whose fat it will be.

Go back, keep them
apart at all costs.

I will think of something.

I am sure you will.

Hurry, my darling.

Oh-hoo.

Fatima, did she take everything?

No, she left her basket.
Ah.

Oh, thank you.

Congratulations, Emad.

You've done very well.

By the way, there
is this one sheikh

you have not introduced me to.

Bring him to me.

No, there.

Music!

It would be impolite whilethe music is playing.

Oh, yes, yes.

Of course, yes.

Thank you.

I like to be correct.

For later.

You must get out of here.

The Leutnant suspects you.

Why?

I don't know.

I must speak to
the sheikh first.

It's impossible.

[music playing]

Psst.

Psst.

Slip into the palms after me

What did the sheikh say?

He says that, in the desert,water is thicker than blood

and fire is plentiful.

What does he mean?

He means there's nothingdoing while the Leutnant holds

the oasis.

Tell him not to
worry about that.

We'll be back.

Oh, please, not again.
Be seeing you.

Good luck,

Oh, oh, please.

What's the matter?

Please, the bill.

Thanks a lot.

And give my love to Yasmin.

This the best you can do?

Well, you've gotta
where something, sir.

You can always have a change.

We've got plenty of
them in the truck.

Bit on the bright
side, aren't they?

Well, camouflage them
a bit, can't you?

Come inside.

Hey, [inaudible].

Here comes Mr.
Cheyne on a camel!

[camel grunting]

Oh, blimey, Mr. Cheyne,
you gone native?

Where's Mavis?

The old girl packed it in time.

How I long for her.

Get a hold of the
brute, will you?

What's the news, Mr. Cheyne?

I'll tell you later.

I'm parched.

Must have been that eyeball.

Whose eyeball?

Mine, the one I had.

Where's the Major?

Ah, good work, Puffin.

How'd you make out?

It's a no-go, sir.

The sheikhs want to play ball,but they're helpless as long

as the jerries hold the oasis.

Ah, then it looks likereinforcements and a refit.

We'll move back to
base in half an hour.

[camel grunting]

Hello, Binns.

You been playing netball?

I've been framed, sir.

Yeah, and so you ought to be.

And mounted.

Don't take any notice, Binns.

He's jealous.

They're very becoming.

Thank you, sir.

Well, now, are you ready
for our little game?

Hm?

After all, even for a soldier,there must be some relaxation.

I've been looking
forward to it very much.

Of course, you must
promise me to lose.

On occasions, it's even moredifficult to lose than to win.

Even generals
sometimes fight battles

they find impossible to lose.

You like being a soldier?

No, not until I came to Africa.

But the desert?

Oh, I fell in love
with the desert.

Like the English
Major-- sentimental.

No, just practical.

Check.

You're not very
gallant, Herr Leutnant.

If you can't lose
a game to a woman,

you'll never lose your heart.

You're wrong.

I have lost my heart.

Yes, Herr Leutnant?

Yes, she's very
beautiful, Yasmin.

She was a mysterious easterndancer at an Arab feast.

And this is mate, I'm afraid.

[speaking german]

Uh, excuse me,
gnadiges Fraulein.

[speaking german]

What's happening?

I don't know.

Gunther suddenly jumped up andjust left me without a word.

Herr Emad, the bill.

[speaking german]

Here.

Everything is in order.

Hartmann.

Herr Leutnant is leaving?

Yes, a large column isapproaching from the south.

I propose to withdraw
to the desert,

where I can maneuver and enjoya greater freedom of action.

Well, who are they?

I don't know.

That's why I'm withdrawing.

Ladies, I should take cover.

Herr Emad, one word.

You will not use my bathroomwhile I'm away, you understand?

I'm afraid I do.

Goodbye, Herr Leutnant.

Take care of yourself.

Goodbye, gnadiges Fraulein.

The moment of danger
for me has passed.

I kiss your hand.

Madame.

Yasmin, Yasmin!

Who can they be this time?

No, no, no!

Oh, Yusef, see to
these honored guests.

And, oh, Yusef, best bottle.

The war is ending at last!

[speaking german]

Who are they, Bill?

Can't tell.

Rum lot, whoever they are.

[speaking french]

You may call me "Yasmin."

Yasmin?

Ah.

And your name?

Oh, you brave
Frenchmen, how happy,

how gay you have made me.

Like Cleopatra who
once enchanted Antony

in these same desertwastes, you are bewitching,

a creature of infinite variety.

Yes, I'm beginning
to realize that.

[baaing]

[singing]

Sir, sir, here comes Gene Autry.

[singing]

Just what we need.

[chuckling]

[speaking german]

I still don't see whyI've got to be the woman.

You'll see in a minute.

Well, I think you
look very pretty, sir.

You'll walk behind.

[speaking arabic]

Oh, yes.

Thanks for the tip.

They make their wives walk infront now in case of mines.

Go on, veil your face andtry and look respectable.

As soon as I finishreconnoitering the hotel,

if the coast's clear,
I'll send up a flare.

OK, sir.

Well, go on, Mr. Cheyne.

Waggle your hips.

Walk all sinuous-like.

[baaing]

[speaking french]

[SINGING] say
goodbye, soldier boy.

I'll be thinking about you.

I'll be lonely without you.

I'll have nothing to
do, nowhere to go,

no one to make my heartbeat.

Bon voyage, soldier boy.

What's the good of delaying?

Tell the trumpet to blow.

Why don't you go?

Why does it make me feel
this way to say goodbye?

Bon voyage, mon ami.

from this moment we're parted,I'm right back where I started.

I've got no one to kiss, no oneto love, no one to thrill me.

No, no, no.

And so adieu.

Uh, must you leave
already, mon lieutenant?

[speaking french]

This is a war of movement.

You astonish me.

Ah, the bill.

No, you are my guests, the mostwelcome guests I've ever had.

Ah, mille mercis.

[speaking french]

[horn blowing]

[speaking french]

[SINGING] Say
goodbye, soldier boy.

I'll be thinking about you.

I'll have nothing to do, nowhereto go, no one to thrill Me.

No, no, no.

And so adieu.

Bon chance.

Goodbye.

Look, everything is as it was--

beautiful and peaceful.

And I owe it all to you, Yasmin.

Oh, Emad.

Giuseppi, Alfie, Gunther,they were very, very sweet.

I shall miss them.

Mama, before you know it, weshall have guests here again.

You're right.

Let's get to work.

Set everything in order.

Mama, to the kitchen.

Yusef, to the cellar.

And you, my darling,
to the lounge.

[baaing]

[singing]

Where the blazes
have they got to?

Let's make a circuit.

Come on, Salome.

[baaing]

Keep your head down.

[speaking arabic]

Oh, no, no!

Who were they?

French.

Have they all gone?

Yes, they've gone
and you're back.

Yes, let's go inside.

You wait here.

I'm gonna have a recce inside.

Oh, poor Gunther.

He loved sausage.

Shh.
[chuckling]

It's all right.

It's only me.

[SINGING] I'll be seeing youin all the old familiar--

Did anyone use my bathroom?

No, no.

They were in a hurry.
Pity.

It would have sped
them on their way.

Come up to the roof with me.

Well, it is nice to be back.

Oh, by the way, I--

I left my bottle of
medicine somewhere.

Oh, I kept it for you.

It's in the bar.

Oh, good.

Oh, now I remember.

I left it in the
Leutnant's bed--

in your bedroom.

Oh, good.

I need a drop.

I'll get it on the way back.

Don't worry.

My men will soon be back.

Tell me, did I leave
my toothbrush in here?

No, a pair of
suspenders I found.

[singing]

He's back.
I know.

What do you mean, you know?

He came through the kitchen.

He came through the
garden with the goats.

Who, the Major?

No, the Leutnant.

[singing]

They must be kept apart!

Surprise.

The prodigal returns.

What now?

Explain you later.

What?

What?

[singing]

Ah, Frau Yasmin, you aresurprised to see me here, huh?

Herr Leutnant, there areno surprises left for us.

[explosion]

[speaking german]

Stand by for an announcement.

Here is a special communiquefrom the Cairo Post.

With the exception
of the coastal areas,

hostilities everywhere inNorth Africa have ceased.

[gunshots]

They are gone, Emad.

This time, they've
really gone for good.

Oh, I'm sorry I
made you jealous.

Um, it was the
Englishman, the Major.

It was he that I was
really afraid of.

How could you ever thinkthere was anyone but you?

Of course, the Capitano
was rather nice.

[chuckling]

[footsteps]

Say, hello there.

Is anybody home?

[trumpet playing]