Hot Ice (1977) - full transcript

(upbeat music)

- Oh, the eternal city.

I always wanted to see Rome.

Art, wine, romance, exciting nights.

- Hold it, business is
business, fun time comes later.

Good thing I have enough of
these stock certificates left.

- You are a bit of a
rogue, darling but one hell

of a security salesman.

- Who am I to turn down a
greedy looking for a fast buck.

- Why, darling, you'd be out of your mind.

- Certainly, if suckers wanna
part with a couple of grand,



I'm willing to accommodate them.

- Speaking of accommodations,
we've got a plane to catch,

Rome, remember?

(man knocks)

- Ah, that must be the
bellman for the luggage.

Oh, come in, please!

- Inspector Giroux of INTERPOL.

(climactic music)

You are under arrest

for selling worthless stock certificates.

Madame, would you please get your coat?

- Do what he says, darling.

- You two have given me quite a chase.

I have been tracking you all over Europe.



Ah, I see you're getting
ready to leave again,

Mr. And Mrs. Farthington III.

You were not satisfied to
take the man's money, oh no,

you had to take his name
too, Mr. Farthington III.

- For our lifestyle and
specter, it fits so well,

don't you agree?

- Ah, allow me, madame.

(climactic music)

- Now what?

- Let's get out of here fast
and I don't mean Rome, home.

(Mr. Giroux knocks on closet door)

(plane drones)

(exciting music)

(people chatter)

(upbeat music)

- Oh, this coffee's so good,
makes me feel warm all over.

- Feels good.

(people chatter)

- The snow is just really great.

- I know, I almost took a bad
spill on seven this morning.

- Oh, but I see you saved yourself?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, (indistinct)

(woman laughs)

(people chatter)

(upbeat music)

- It's really nice to be back here

at the Mattahorn Ski Lodge.

- Yes, darling, it really is nice.

(man laughs)

(people chatter)

(upbeat music)

- Got some fine-looking chicks up here.

- Yeah, Mattahorn Ski Club,
always got good-looking broads

around the day after the race.

(people chatter)

(upbeat music)

- Hello, Allen.

Victor, you should be ashamed of yourself.

- Well, I,

you know you're the only
one in my life, sweetheart.

- Oh, sweetheart mm.

- If there were more
married couples like you,

this world wouldn't be so screwed up.

(Victor and Danielle laugh)

- Thank you, Allen.

- Vic, I almost forgot, could you put this

in the house safe.

Being Diamond Jim's manager,
I always have to take care

of his valuables.

- Valuable stuff, hey?

- Valuable, quarter of a million in ice.

And I don't mean the kind that melts.

- Oh.

- You've got nothing
to worry about, Allen,

we haven't lost so much as a
postage stamp out of that safe.

- Ah.
- You mean

this is real?
- Yeah.

- I thought most movie stars
wore fake diamonds as a rule.

- Nah, not Diamond Jim,
he wears the real thing.

It's a thing with him.

- There, locked up and (indistinct).

- Ah, any chance of a girl
trying some on for size?

(Allen and Danielle laugh)

- I don't think the insurance
company would like that.

- Oh, well, better luck next time.

- See you later.
- Okay.

Bye, Allen.
- Take it easy, Allen.

- Take care.

A quarter of a million dollars.

I oughta trade you in for a guitar player.

I didn't know they were so rich.

- Speaking about rich, darling, get a load

at what's coming in.

Those must be the Farthington's.

- Mm.

- Mr. And Mrs. Farthington.

- Yeah, that's right.

- We've been expecting you sir.

- Very good.

- Would you like to sign the
register, Mr. Farthington.

- Certainly.

- Fine.

My wife, Danielle.

- Hello.
- Charmed.

- Mrs. Farthington.
- How do you do?

- How do you do, ma'am?

Please to meet you.

- I see the famous Diamond
Jim is appearing here.

We've been in Europe for so
long, we haven't had a chance

to catch any of his performances.

We're really excited about seeing him.

- Diamond Jim opens tomorrow night.

You'll love the show.

Great, great show.

- Yes, and he wears a
quarter of a million dollars

wroth of real diamonds.

He's not phony like some of the others.

- You don't say.

- Oh, yes, and we keep them
right here in our safe.

- Uh, uh, suite 171, Charlotte, 171.

We're just very flattered
to have you here, sir.

- Well, I'm sure we'll enjoy our stay.

It was nice meeting both of you, good day.

- Bye-bye.

That's what I call rich, real class.

I can tell it a mile away.

- Well, I'm off, darling.

- Where are you going?

- To my ski lesson with
my instructor, Erik.

He says my form is improving.

(Victor chuckles)

Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

(upbeat music)

(smooth romantic music)

(Erik and Danielle moan)

- You know your form's really improving.

(Danielle laughs)

- Thanks for the compliment.

You know, as a ski
instructor, Erik, you're good.

But as a lover, you're great.

Oh, but I have to go.

(Danielle moans)

(smooth romantic music)

Come on, Erik, I can't make
love to you all the time.

Besides, there are plenty
of other girls around here.

Don't worry, see you
tomorrow at the usual time?

- Oh, it feels so good to be
home, doesn't it, darling?

- Yes, dear.

- You know, I was really terrified.

- Forget it, we got away, didn't we?

Nobody knows we're here.

We're safe.

- Darling, speaking of
safe, what do you think

about the diamonds in the safe below us?

You know what it just gives me the shivers

to think about all that
loot stashed down there.

- Hey, forget it, we're con
artists, not safe crackers.

Besides, don't forget we came
here to cool off for awhile.

Now you be a good girl and relax.

- Well, I was just thinking, that's all.

After all you can't blame me for trying.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

(smooth jazz music)

(pleasant music)

- What a set of g'shorks on this thing.

- Victor, darling, what's the matter?

Are you all right, are you sick?

- I'm okay, sweetheart, it's
just been one of those days,

one of those hectic days,
it's like a three ring circus

down there.

And that crazy rock group
and this nut, Diamond Jim.

Oh, wait till you meet this guy.

Do this, do that, get
me this, get me that.

He talks to me like I'm one

of his personal whatever you call it.

I just told Charlie to take
over, I've had it up to here.

I've had it, had it.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

How was your day?
- Same as yours.

Hectic, oh that village makes me so mad.

They didn't have anything I wanted.

The whole trip leaves
me totally exhausted.

And I'm freezing to death.

(Victor moans and laughs)

- Victor, what are you doing?

- I'm warming your feet, sweetheart.

(Danielle laughs)

- Oh, stop.

(dramatic music)

Oh, that feels good.

Victor.

Victor, darling, I thought
you weren't feeling very well.

(Victor laughs)

- I'm feeling a little better now.

You wanna play don't you?

(Danielle laughs)

I can tell when you wanna play.

I can feel it.

I know that feeling, I know that look.

(Danielle laughs and moans)

(Victor laughs)

- You just wanna play a little.

Play hard to get.

- Darling, I think I-
- I know you want to,

I can feel it.
(Danielle laughs)

- All right, Victor, I
better get myself together.

(indistinct) darling.

(Danielle laughs)

- Sweetheart, I thought we were.

(quirky music)

A little shot of Konyak might
warm you up, sweetheart.

- [Danielle] That sounds
like a good idea, darling.

- I thought it would.

♪ Victor's gonna get it tonight tonight ♪

♪ Victor's gonna get it tonight tonight ♪

(upbeat band music)

Ready, sweetheart!

Sip of Konyak (indistinct).

(upbeat band music)

(Victor mumbles)

- [Danielle] Is everything
all right, Victor?

- Anytime you're ready, baby.

(slow romantic music)

(Victor hums)

Swirl it around a little sweetheart,

it'll warm the conkles of your heart.

Ah.
- Mm.

- Do you feel better now?

- Well, I'm still just a little cold.

- A little what?
- A little cold.

- A little cold.

Hmm-mm, I have just the thing for that.

Gonna warm you up.

(head thumps)

(Spanish music)

(Victor sings in foreign language)

(upbeat band music)

- Oh, Victor, are you all right, darling?

Be careful, darling.

- Gonna do a little crash dive now.

(speaks in foreign language)

(Victor crashes)
(dramatic music)

(Danielle laughs)

- Oh, Victor, now look what you've done.

(dramatic music)

Calm down and go to sleep, all right?

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(smooth music)

(crowd cheers)

(crowd cheers)

(crowd cheers)

(climactic music)

(crowd cheers)

(crowd cheers)

- Hey!

- Congratulations, congratulations.

Gives me great pleasure
to present this trophy

to Tom Murphy of the Matterhorn Ski Club

for a job well done.

- [All] Yeah!

- Well, thank you very much,
John and it's a real pleasure

for me to except this trophy on behalf

of the Matterhorn Ski
Club and I have to admit

that it didn't come
without some displeasures.

(audience laughs)

- Hey, gang some fun at
Kelly's, that's what we need!

(audience cheers)

- Kelly's that's a good
idea, let's go now, let's go.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(crowd chatters)

(crowd chatters)

- Hey, you guys.
- Yeah?

- Now that we've won the
Sloughman race trophy,

wouldn't it be great if we

won the snowmobile race trophy too?

(audience exclaims)

- Hey you guys, I feel so
good I feel like dancing.

(audience exclaims)

I can't this is too hot.

- Take it off, come on.

- Really?
- Yeah!

- All right.

- Nobody's gonna stop you.

- Take it off, yeah, take it off.

(upbeat music)

Whew!

(people laugh)

(people laugh and chatter)

- We're never gonna get out of here.

I don't even know that chick.

She's not apart of us, I tell you that.

I mean, we don't know her, right?

- What she can do, I can do better.

- I don't know.

Ah, okay.

(man laughs)

(upbeat music)

(people laugh)

Oh, my gosh, hey, you
guys, it's getting late.

Don't you think we oughta
get back to the lodge?

- No, we can't forget those two though.

- Well, I can forget them.

(man laughs)

(upbeat music)

(people laugh)

(pleasant music)

(dramatic music)

(woman thuds)

(upbeat music)

(people laugh and chatter)

- Hey, you have fun?
- Yeah!

- Did we ever, tell them,
tell them (indistinct).

- Where's Barbie?
- Barbie?

- I don't know.

She must have gotten
separated from the rest of us

out there huh?

- Yeah.

If she got lost, she
will freeze out there.

- Hey, hey, we better get
out there and find her.

(crowd exclaims)

- Hold it, hold it, hold
it, you're in no condition

to go out there, we gotta (indistinct).

We'll take care of it, we'll find her.

- All right.

(people laugh)

(dramatic music)

(slow dramatic music)

(girl hollers)

- You're gonna be all right.

You're gonna be all right,
we'll take care of you.

- Oh, thank you.
- Come on, come on.

- Thank you for rescuing me.

I was so frightened, so afraid.

- We couldn't let a pretty
girl like you lay out here

and freeze to death, could we?

- Oh, oh, oh, I thought
I would freeze to death.

(wind howls)

(upbeat music)

♪ Oh ice make you jump and shout ♪

♪ Oh ice knock your eyes out ♪

♪ Oh ice a woman's best friend ♪

♪ But what you see here
belong to Diamond Jim ♪

♪ See how they shine
got to make her mine ♪

♪ Ooh some just never win ♪

♪ Get your shiny rocks
off on Diamond Jim ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Ice ♪

♪ Oh ice make you jump and shout ♪

♪ Oh ice knock your eyes out ♪

♪ Oh ice a girl's best friend ♪

- That's lovely ice on
Diamond Jim the rock star.

- He's a rock star all
right, a walking diamond mine

♪ Ooh gotta make her mine ♪

♪ Ooh some just never win ♪

♪ Get your shiny rocks
off on Diamond Jim ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

- But not too heavy for us
to carry off, if you know

what I mean?
- Well, yes, darling

I can just see all those
lovely diamonds all over me

♪ Ooh see how they shine ♪

♪ Ooh gotta make her mine ♪

♪ Ooh some just never win ♪

♪ Get your shiny rocks
off on Diamond Jim ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ice ♪

(wind howls)

- A quarter of a million.

- A walking diamond mine.

- And I know just the right fence

who's gonna be delighted to handle it.

- I thought yesterday
you told me you weren't

interested in any capers.

We were here to cool off remember?

- That was yesterday, today is today.

It's that safe, it's that damn safe.

The stuff goes in there
every night after the show.

You know it, I'm a con
man not a safe cracker.

- Well, if we're going to pull it off,

we have to come up with something.

- I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

The question is what's the first step?

- Well, that's easy, the first
step, get the combination.

- Oh funny, funny girl.

Clancy, Clancy with
his electrical gadgets.

He'd be perfect.

- Darling, I knew you'd
come up with something.

But isn't it too late to get him?

- Clancy never sleeps.

Besides I know where to
get him day or night.

Switchboard's closed this time of night,

so I'll be able to get a direct line out

without being overheard.

- Good.

- Operator, yes, area code
213 390-5855, thank you.

(dramatic music)

Clancy, hey you old son of a gun.

Yeah, it's me.

Well, we've been out of
the states for awhile.

Listen, pal I need a favor
and it's right up your alley.

There's a safe that
needs your expert touch.

That's right, I need the combination.

You got anything in your
bag of tricks that can

give me the numbers?

(man laughs)

That's great.

Two grand is fine.

All right, listen, I'm staying
at the Matterhorn Ski Lodge

in Fallbrook.

Right, right, okay, Clance, okay,

all right, thanks, Clancy, goodbye.

(man laughs)

I don't believe it.

It's a device that we put into the safe,

when the tumblers are turned,
it records the numbers.

- Oh, fantastic, oh.
(man laughs)

(upbeat music)

- Yes, Mr. Bradford, yes, sir,
don't worry about a thing.

Your reservations are
confirmed for a late arrival.

I understand, sir, don't
worry, take care of everything.

I've got everybody on
the staff working on it,

Mr. Bradford, don't you
worry, I promise you,

everything will be just
the way it's always been.

Don't worry.

Oh, Mr. Farthington, one moment please.

Yes, sir, we know you'll be coming by car.

We know you'll be a little late.

Yes, sir, yep.

Don't worry about a thing sir.

Last minute arrivals, J.P. Bradford,

multi-million dollar oil man.

Everything at a moment's
notice with this guy.

- Ah, there was something
you wanted, Mr. Flemming?

I'm in a bit of a hurry.

- Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Farthington,

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

This just arrived by special messenger.

It's addressed to Mrs. Farthington.

- Mrs. Farthington.

This would have ruined the whole surprise

if she would have gotten it.

For our anniversary.
- Wow.

Hey, (man laughs and
whistles) that is some gift.

Congratulations, sir.
- Thank you.

You know how women are, sort of curious

and that sort of thing.

I don't want Mrs. Farthington to find this

until the anniversary.

But I don't know where to hide it.

- Hide it, it will be
perfectly safe in there sir.

- Are you sure?

- I'm sure.

You see that wire, it's
an extra precaution.

It's hooked up to an alarm system

which goes off in my suite upstairs.

If anybody tries to tamper with this safe,

one side security.

You've got nothing to worry about.

- Okay, if you say so.

- And once again, sir,
let me congratulate you

on your anniversary.
- Thank you.

Not a word about our little
secret to Mrs. Farthington.

And remember, this is gonna be a surprise.

- Oh, my lips are sealed.

(dramatic music)

- Hi, Mr. Flemming, can
I have my present please?

- Sure, Mr. Farthington.

Here you are.

- Thank you very much.

- Mr. Farthington, let me say one thing,

it's a pleasure having
people like you and your wife

staying at the hotel.

- I'll tell my wife that.

I think she'll appreciate it very much.

(people laugh)

- Oh wait.

- Ah-ha.
- Look, 36-32-36.

- (man laughs) Clancy came through again.

- Now what?

- Now we wait till we put
the diamonds in the safe

and then we take them.

- But aren't you forgetting
about the alarm system,

the wire that goes down through
the safe that goes bang bang

in the manager's ear?

- No, no, I have a plan.

Now, listen.

(dramatic music)

♪ Yeah, T-bone likes to
get as high as he can go ♪

♪ If you follow him around
you surely be talking ♪

♪ That T-Bone is a man Ray
Charles would like to know ♪

♪ T-Bone is a good man
that I'm glad to know ♪

♪ He's a real blast baby
with a whole lot of snow ♪

♪ T-Bone's gonna make it
someday wait and see ♪

♪ And when he does Ray Charles
is gonna stamp his feet high ♪

♪ Still getting higher ♪

♪ But he's sure get tired ♪

♪ Yeah T-Bone likes to
get as high as he can go ♪

♪ If you follow him around
you surely be talking ♪

♪ That T-Bone is a man Ray
Charles would like to know ♪

♪ Yeah T-Bone is a man Ray
Charles would like to know ♪

(audience claps)

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,

have a good time skiing tomorrow
and we'll see you back here

tomorrow night with broken legs and all.

(audience exclaims)

- [Woman] Goodbye everybody.

(dramatic music)

- It's time to leave.

I'll give you the signal
when the coast is clear.

Good luck, darling.
- Thanks, babe.

(dramatic music)

- Put the family jewels
away for the night, Vic.

- You got it.

A little extra precaution here.

Makes it fool-proof.

Anyone tries to tamper with this baby now,

ring-a-ling upstairs.

All done.
- Thanks, Vic.

Good night.
- Good night.

Take care.

(dramatic music)

(phone rings)

- Hello.
- Hello, Flemming,

J.B. Bradford, I'm
calling from my car phone.

Well, I'm stuck, you have
to come out and pick me up

we're only about halfway from the airport.

- Oh, don't worry about
a thing, Mr. Bradford,

no, no, just sit tight.

We'll have somebody
down there in a minute.

Don't you worry, sir.

- Hurry up, Flemming,
I'm freezing out here.

- Yes, sir, we'll have
somebody down there right away.

Charlie.
- Yes, sir, Mr. Flemming.

- Mr. Bradford broke down
in his car a couple of miles

from the airport.

Hop in the station wagon
and go pick him up.

- [Charlie] I can't do it, Mr. Flemming.

- [Victor] What do you mean,
you can't do it, Charlie?

- [Charlie] I can't drive with this thing.

- You know, you young
guys are all the same.

I mean it, you come here for one reason

and one reason only, bumming
around boos and broads.

Nevermind, I'll pick him up myself, moron.

(phone rings)

- Hello?

Victor, darling.
- Hello, sweetheart.

- Yeah, listen, I've got a stranded guest,

broken down in a car and
that creep Charlie's got

a broken leg, I'd like to break his head.

- Charlie broke his leg, what again?

- I won't be long, I'll
just be a little while.

Yeah, I love you babe.

- All right, darling, drive carefully.

- Charlie.
- Yes, Mr. Flemming?

- I want you to listen
to what I have to say.

What are you doing, I can
get it on, just listen

to what I have to say.
- Yes, sir.

- Now, you turn off the lights,
you close the switchboard,

and you turn out the nightlights.

Why are you shaking your head,
Charlie, can you hear me?

- Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir.

- And you close up in
about a half and hour

and do me one favor,
Charlie, just one favor.

Come in tomorrow morning on time,

a change of pace or something, huh?

And don't go down to
Kelly's and get yourself

all zapped out.
- Yes, sir, Mr. Flemming.

Yes sir.

(dramatic music)

Remember to turn the lights
off, close the switchboard,

be on time in the morning,
lock up in half an hour.

The hell I will, I'll lock up right now.

Kelly, here I come.

(dramatic music)

(man and woman laugh)

(romantic music)

- Erik, really?

- Let's go out for a nightcap.

You're so warm, so soft.

- I know.

(woman and man moan)

- Think of my condition.
- What condition?

- You know.

- I know your condition,
come on, do it or forget it.

This condition of yours if
gonna blow my whole caper.

- There's always tomorrow.

- Erik, you're a great lover.

Wrong.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, why Mrs. Flemming, I
must have the wrong suite,

no wonder the key wouldn't work.

- Why, Mr. Farthington,
this is really a surprise.

I thought it was my husband.

- My wife and I had a little fight.

Every anniversary it's the
same thing, fight, fight,

she practically threw me out of the room.

I took a little walk and.

- You poor thing.

What an awful thing to happen
to a nice man like you.

Come in, this is no time
for you to be alone.

(dramatic music)

I was just about to fix myself
a drink, won't you join me?

- Well, that sounds like a
good idea, Mrs. Flemming,

I could use one.

- Is Scotch all right?
- On the rocks, it's fine.

- You know, Victor and I
often have our little problems

ourselves and we just
have to let these things

work themselves out.

I always say time heals all.

Here.
- Thank you.

- Well, just put it out of your mind.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

(dramatic music)

- I always feel that when
two people are having

a friendly drink, they
should become more familiar.

Please, call me Danielle.

- Danielle, that's such
a lovely name to go

with such a beautiful face.

(Danielle chuckles)

You have such a kind, warm heart.

Call me Win.
- Win.

Oh, Win, please excuse me,

I really wasn't expecting company.

- Oh, of course.

- I'll just be am moment.

(Danielle laughs)

(dramatic music)

- Come on Winford, you dummy,
go, one wire's he's gotta cut.

(dramatic music)

Please.

Oh, god, no.

Okay, calm down, just.

(upbeat music)

- I'm sorry to have kept you.

- Oh, think nothing of it.

One must never hurry a
charming lady like yourself.

- Ah, how sweet.

- Oh, please, god, now.

Oh.

(upbeat music)

Oh beautiful, beautiful babies.

Oh, I did it, I can't believe it.

Oh, oh my god.

(woman and man moan)

(woman laughs)

Oh, I can't believe it.

(dramatic music)

(climactic music)

- That's it, oh yes.

(dramatic music)

Oh, I can't believe it,
we did it, we did it!

Oh, god so beautiful.

(woman moans and man moans)

(car engine revs)

(dramatic music)

- What kind of a joker would send me out

on a night like this
on a wild goose chase?

(dramatic music)

- Yes, this gets me out
of all kinds of work.

Like tonight, I got out of
picking up some old goat

stuck in the cold outside.

(man laughs)

Mr. Flemming had to go.

And I went straight to
Kelly's and had a few.

(men laugh)

- Hey, did Mrs. Flemming go?

- No, she's in her room.
- Thanks.

- Hey, Erik, look, be a
pal and don't tell anybody

about this.

No, really, I mean, if they find out

then I'll really have to start working.

(Erik laughs)

Work, it's the curse
of the drinking class.

- Don't worry, guy, your
secret's mine, okay?

- Thanks, pal.
- Right.

- Take care.
- Yeah.

(dramatic music)

(man knocks)

- Your husband?
- I don't know.

- Well, what are we gonna do?

- The closet.

(dramatic music)

(Erik knocks)

Who is it?
- Your Nordic god's here.

Hi.
(Danielle chuckles)

I heard your husband's out.

That should give us a
little time for love.

- Erik, (Danielle laughs)
I didn't expect you.

What a surprise.

Actually this isn't a good time.

You see, I was just about to
lie down and get a little-

- Exactly, hey, that's what I had in mind.

(Erik laughs)

- No, that's not what I had
in mind, Erik, stop, Erik.

Erik, please stop.

Erik, I mean it, Erik
if you don't stop now,

if you ever wanna see me again, Erik.

Erik, listen, it's too
late, we don't have time,

it's too late.

- Hey, honey, it's never too late.

(door rattles)

It's too late.

The closet.
- No.

Under the bed.

Erik, don't argue with
me, get under the bed.

(dramatic music)

Darling, you look exhausted.

- Exhausted, huh, you wanna
know what happened out there?

I'll tell you what happened out there.

Some son of a bitch pulled a prank on me.

There's no broken car out there.

- Oh, you poor thing.

Ooh, and you're cold.

Darling, why don't I fix you a nice drink.

- Why don't you make it a double.

Make it a triple.

I can't figure out who would
do something like this.

Maybe it's those creeps from
the Matterhorn Ski Club.

- Oh, they're always
doing things like that.

- Yeah, well, I'll tell you something,

it was about 30 degrees below zero

and I wasn't too happy about it.

- Here, this will make
you feel much better.

- Oh, wait a minute, wait a
minute, you ready for this,

after that creep lays that
break down crap on me,

you ready for this, I had a flat tire.

- Oh, you poor darling.

I have an idea.
- What's your idea?

- Why don't you take a nice, hot bath.

- Nah, uh-uh, I'm not
ready for a bath tonight.

- Oh, yes, you listen to me,
I don't want a sick husband

on my hands.

- All right, all right.

- Come on, you'll feel much better.

- Okay, okay.

- Come on, darling, you'll feel relaxed

and ready for bed.

- Okay.

Maybe later I'll get a little
something to warm me up.

(Danielle laughs)

- Aren't you cute.

- The more I think about
this the angrier I get.

If I ever catch the moron
that pulled this on me,

he's gonna be sorry, I
tell you right now, sorry.

(dramatic music)

Sweetheart, I'm just not up
to a bath tonight, noway.

Oh.

Hey, come here, come here, love.

(Danielle laughs)
Come here.

This has been one heck of a day.

(Danielle laughs)

- You can say that again.

(woman and man moan)

Whoa, whoa, let me get my pants off.

I'll be right back.

- I'll make up the bed.
- Good idea.

- Erik, Erik, come out.

- [Erik] I can't.

- What do you mean you can't?

- I am stuck.

- Oh, Erik this is no time for jokes.

(Danielle grunts)

Hurry.

The window, the window,
don't ask any questions,

just hurry.
- Please.

- Go, go.

(wind howls)

- I thought you were gonna make the bed?

- I was just about to do that sweetheart.

- I'll help.

- Oh, I think that's wonderful.

(Victor chuckles)

(upbeat music)

- Come in, come in and warm me.

Oh, finally, finally.

(man and woman moan)

(quirky music)

(loud rattling)

Did you just hear the front door close?

- Doors close, no, you
must be hearing things.

- Well, maybe I'm hearing
things but I know one thing

for sure, I'm feeling things.

(man and woman moan)

(quirky music)

Oh Danielle.

(Danielle laughs)

(man and woman moan)

Are you cold?

Don't you feel a little
cold, it's not cold in here?

(wind howls)

(man laughs)

No wonder it's cold, the
patio doors are open.

Don't you go away.

'Cause I'm gonna come and get you.

Let's go back to play, here
comes your flying tiger.

(dramatic music)

(Danielle laughs)

(Victor chuckles)

- Victor, not again.

(quirky music)

(man knocks)

(dramatic music)

- Oh no.

(wind howls)

(man shivers)

- Ta-da!
- Ah, ah!

(upbeat music)

To be perfectly frank with you, my dear,

I didn't think we could pull this off.

- Oh, you've gotta be kidding, the genius

that you're married to.

Oh, fantastic.

They're so lovely,
darling, oh, I'm so happy,

I knew you could do it, I
knew you could do it, darling.

Here, I want you to have them.

I want you to see them,
I want you to feel them,

I want you to try them on.

Aren't they fantastic?

Do you love them?
- I love you.

- Do you love me?

Look at this, look at this.

Wait, wait, wait, there's more.

- More, there's more.
- Wait, one minute.

- Oh, there's more.
- There's more.

- There's more.

Ta-da.
- What?

- Let's see, what have we here.

- What?

- Oh goodness, this looks
like a little bag of tricks.

We have right there and we
have, oh gully, (indistinct).

- What?
- Darling,

now wait a minute, just wait a minute.

We've got.

- You're kidding.
- No!

(woman and man holler)

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Oh.

(woman laughs)

Oh, no.

- Wait there's more.
- Honey.

- Look at this.

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute,

oh you're not so cold now huh, huh, huh?

Look at this, look at
this, look at the ring!

(woman hollers and laughs)

(man laughs)

Oh, I love you, I love you.

- Oh, look, look, oh yes.

- I can't believe it.

- This is a yacht, this is a trip too.

- This one, this is my
mink, this is the fur

I always wanted.

- Oh.
- Do you love it?

- Here's a penthouse in New York.

(woman laughs)

Room service forever.
- Oh, darling,

you look a little weird in this,
it looks much better on me.

What do you think?

- I think you'd look better on me.

(woman hollers)

Wait, wait a minute.

Ooh, ah, these diamonds feel so good.

- Uh-huh.

- Why don't we just take them right now

and get out of here tonight?

- Oh, no, noway.

No, once they find that
these diamonds are missing,

everyone in this lodge
comes under suspicion.

If we're gone, it'll put
the finger right on us.

The cops start checking,
they might find out

who we really are.

No, no, I think we shall
make our graceful exit

the night before the snow mobile race.

Everyone will be there
and we won't be missed.

- Darling, I have another
little surprise for you.

Nothing too fantastic just.

- What?
- Just a little.

I found them in the safe
when I went in there.

(woman laughs)

Do you believe it?

- By the way, what did you
do with the attache case?

- Oh, I threw it out the window.

I mean, they're never gonna
find it until the snow melts

and that'll be months from now.

(man and woman laugh)

- Ooh, I love to see the look on his face

when he finds the diamonds missing.

(man laughs)

- Ah, I did the caper of the year.

- They're gone.

The diamonds are gone.

- My diamonds, we've been ripped off.

- But I don't understand how, I-

- How is right!

You and your fool-proof safe.

Well, just don't stand
there man, get on the horn!

Get the fuzz, call the FBI, cable the CIA.

Get the fire department, for
god's sakes do something.

- Hey, you don't panic
in a situation like this,

you don't panic, Allen.

- Don't panic, he said.

- Whoever took these
diamonds cannot be far away.

Now just give me some
time to think, Allen,

I'm gonna get them back
for you, I promise.

- What the hell am I gonna
tell that temperamental star

of mine?

He's going to fall apart.

The insurance company, oh
god, the insurance company,

what will I tell them?

- You tell them absolutely nothing, Allen.

If this publicity gets out, it
could be bad for Diamond Jim.

Not to mention the lodge.

- What do I care about the lodge!

- Hey, hey, hey, just cool it and don't

do anything stupid, Allen.

The publicity could be bad for you.

Negligence on your part.
- Huh?

- Huh, I've been through
this thing a couple

of times before, Allen, I know the score,

let me handle everything.

Why don't you go to your
room, get a little rest.

- Yes, yes, my room.

Rest awhile.

- I'll call you if
anything comes up, Allen,

just take it easy.

- Oh, why me, why me?

I've always been a good
man, a good husband,

a good manager, why me?

- Anything wrong, Mr. Flemming?

- Oh, no, what could be
wrong, Mr. Farthington?

- Seems to me when you have the
wrong end of a ballpoint pen

in your mouth, that something
must be bothering you.

- Oh, well.

(man laughs)

(quirky music)

(pleasant music)

I want the truth,
Charlie, where did you go

after you closed up last night?

- Look, Mr. Flemming, I
already told you once,

I went to my room, now
where else could I go

with my leg in a cast?

- Charlie.
- Okay, okay,

I might as well tell you.

- Tell me what?

Uh-huh?

- I stopped at Kelly's last
night but just for a short time,

I only had one drink, I swear.

- Charlie, I'm not interested,

I'm not interested in Kelly's,
I wanna know did you hear,

did you see anything
suspicious while you working?

- Not only no, Mr. Flemming but hell no.

- Okay, relax, no offense, Charlie.

I'm just trying to get at the facts.

I mean, the reputation, my
reputation, the reputation

of the lodge is at stake.

- Everybody's under suspicion until

those diamonds are found.

- Allen, please, let me handle this.

Why don't you just go to your room, hmm?

- Hello, Allen.

What's the matter, Sweetheart,
you look 1,000 miles away?

- I got a catastrophe on my
hands, that's what's wrong.

Somebody broke into the
safe last night and stole

all the diamonds.

I checked the apartment, the
wires to the alarm system

were cut.

I can't figure out how they got cut

and unless somebody came in while I was on

that wild goose chase.

Did anybody come in or what?

- No, no, absolutely not,
I never left the place.

- They can't cut themselves.

- Wait a minute.

- What?

- Remember how you found our
balcony doors open last night?

- The window, the window.

You're, wait a minute, if you
didn't leave the room, how-

- I never said that sweetheart,

I said I never left the place.

I went to the bathroom to get a bath.

- Bath, which would give
somebody plenty of time

to get in, cut the wires and then get out.

And that accounts for that
phony phone call I got

to get me out of the lodge.

- Well that solves that.

- Yeah, that solves that all
right, now all we have to do

is find out who, when, how, why and where.

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Call me anytime ♪

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Day or night ♪

♪ Call me when you need to
cry and don't know why ♪

♪ Call me when you're higher
than a crowbird's eyes ♪

♪ Call me when you're stuck
in the middle can't get by ♪

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Call me anytime ♪

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Day or night ♪

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Call me anytime ♪

♪ Call me anytime you
think that you need me ♪

♪ Day or night ♪

♪ You can call me when you need
to cry and don't know why ♪

♪ Call me when you're higher
than a crowbird's eyes ♪

♪ Yeah call me when you're
stuck in the middle ♪

♪ And can't get by ♪

(audience claps and cheers)

Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to apologize

for Diamond Jim's not being here tonight,

he's got laryngitis, so
let's hope he gets better,

thank you.

(audience claps)

(dramatic music)

- I can't believe it, a
quarter of a million dollars

in my arms.

- Don't breathe too easy,
we're not out of the woods yet.

We've got a long ways to
go to the main highway.

- Oh, and then out of this snowy mess.

Ooh, let's get some heat in here.

(dramatic music)

- Heat.

Please don't mention that word.

- Ah, I feel so much better.

(dramatic music)

(engine revs)

- Oh, hell of a time to get stuck.

- Well, what are we gonna do
now just sit here and freeze?

Come on, what are we gonna do?

- Come on, what are we gonna do?

We're gonna wait here,
we've got plenty of gas,

the heater's working.

Look, we'll just wait till daylight.

- Oh, fine.

(wind howls)

(wolf howls)

(slow music)

- We must have had a blizzard
while we were sleeping.

- Oh, I guess we have.

Well, we either die here or we walk.

I'm freezing to death.

- Well, we walk.

- In these clothes?

- No, listen, we have
something in the trunk.

We've got plenty of warm clothes in there.

- [Announcer] Snow mobile
racers, get on your mark,

get set.

(engines rev)

(climactic music)

(crowd cheer)

- Hey, look at that!

- The diamonds are right
here in the lodge, I know it,

I can feel it in my bones.

I know they're gonna show
up, it's an inside job.

Diamonds are here, I know they'll show up.

(crowd laughs and chatters)

- [Charlotte] If I never
see another snowfall

the rest of my life,
it'll be too soon for me.

- [Winford] Oh, chin up,
darling, we're bound to see sort

of civilization sooner or later.

- [Charlotte] Yeah, well the
way I see it that means later.

(engines rev)

- That's strange, one of the contestants

is going off the course.

He's going in the wrong
direction over the hill

towards the village.

- Hey, let me see that, let me see that.

Let me see it!

You're right.

That's the, I knew that
guy would show himself.

I knew it, I knew it, I
was right, I was right!

Here hold onto this.

(dramatic music)

- Hey, you can't do that,
that's my snowmobile,

come back here!

Hey, stop, come back here,
hey, stay off of that,

come back here!
(engine revs)

Come back!

Get off!

Come back, get off of here!

(climactic music)

(man hollers)

(engine revs)

(engines rev)

(man and woman breathe heavy)

(wind howls)

- Winford, wait, I think I hear something.

- You're right, you're right,
baby, it's a sound of engines.

- Oh, oh.
- I told you

we'd be saved.

(engines rev)

(dramatic music)

(man laughs)

Hallelujah baby, I told
you we'd find something

to get out of here with.

- I'd rather see a St. Bernard
with a keg around his neck.

I'm frozen stiff.

- Now all I could do is
just get this thing started.

If we could just.

Oh come on, baby, come on baby, turn over.

(engine revs)

Ah! (man laughs)

Come on!

Let's get out of here!

(engine revs)

(climactic music)

(dramatic music)

(man whistles)

- Hey come back here, hey come back,

you can't take my snowmobile!

Hey you, stop, come back here!

(quirky music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(engine revs)

- What the, where'd the guy go?

(engine revs)

(engines rev)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(man hollers)

- Mrs. Farthington, you found
them, I don't believe it,

you found them.

- Found them, found what?

- Oh, thanks, I love you, the
missing diamonds of course.

- Oh yeah, the missing diamonds.

You know what I just found
them laying right here

in the snow.

- I love you.

- Isn't that unbelievable.

I just, you know, it's such a
shock, I couldn't believe it.

- Quick thinking darling.

- There's pain right here, a lot of pain.

- Oh, gee.
- Don't move,

don't move, just stand still.

- Just lay still.

- I think it's busted.

- Oh, it probably is.

- Just lie down.

- Just take it easy.

- What do you mean it
probably is, the pain.

- Mr. Flemming.

- Right here, lots of pain, right there.

- Okay, okay.
- Pain here too.

- Just relax.
- We'll get you back.

- [Man] Yeah, put your legs
down, put your legs down.

(upbeat music)

- And now to our fearless
and dedicated manager

who risked his life to
retrieve the lost diamonds,

who relentlessly pursued
his self-appointed task

of investigation without
arousing suspicion,

our deepest appreciation
to Mr. Victor Flemming!

(crowd cheers and claps)

- It was nothing.

- Oh, my hero.

- And our first award goes to Tom

for his outstanding efforts on the slopes.

(audience claps and cheers)

And our second award
goes to Barbie Sinclair

for her fantastic efforts on
the slopes and losing her way.

(audience claps and cheers)

And now it is my distinct
pleasure to award this check

for $25,000 as a reward
from the insurance company

to Mr. and Mrs. Farthington III

for their outstanding and stalwart efforts

to retrieving the lost diamonds.

(audience claps and cheers)

Again, I'd like to thank
all the participants

in this week's races who
so generously contributed

their time and effort and a reminder

that all the proceeds are
donated to our winter camp

for young skiers, our future champions.

(audience claps and cheers)

- Charity begins at home.

- Huh, what?

- We know don't we?

Like we'd like some
gold-plated wire cutters.

I mean, after all a
girl deserves something

for all her trouble.

- You wouldn't dare, your husband.

- Oh, wouldn't I?

Can you be sure?

- Easy come, easy go.

- Ladies and gentlemen, my
wife and I couldn't possibly

accept this check, instead,
we'd like to donate

it in Mr. and Mrs. Flemming's
name to the winter camp

for young skiers.

- Great!

(audience claps and cheers)

- Class, real class.

- I don't know what to
say, that's fabulous.

- And once again, let me thank them both

for a most accommodating vacation.

- Again, we'd like to thank you all

for coming here this
evening and please come back

to the Matterhorn Ski Club.

(audience claps and cheers)

(pleasant music)

(sings in foreign language)

- Hey.
- Hey.

25 grand right in the palm of my hand.

I can't believe it went
to her favorite charity.

- Oh, don't worry,
darling, at least we had

a good time here, compliments
of the management.

Wasn't that a great party
they had last night?

- Oh, great party my foot.

- Listen, we couldn't pull it off here,

we'll pull it off somewhere else.

We've got plenty of
stock certificates left,

don't worry about it.

Come on, we're going to Acapulco remember?

Land of sunshine,
mariachis, Tequilla, whew!

(upbeat music)

(plane drones)

- [Announcer] Welcome
aboard flight 795, nonstop

to Mexico City.

(upbeat music)