Hot Dog (2013) - full transcript
Four men running a hotdog factory are at odds with eachother..when one thinks he's getting fired he inserts his tooth into the hotdog mix leading to a PR disaster.
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Are you in Toronto?
No. I took the 3pm flight.
You didn't call. no good news?
Actually. we didn't get the contract.
The Toronto guys
don't want our sausage.
I know why.
They know we're beating them.
When are you coming?
I'm taking the day off.
I need to digest this.
OK. See you Monday.
OK. See you.
Oh. Richard...
Don't tell Conrad we didn't get it.
I'II tell him.
Don't worry.
Have a good weekend.
OK. Bye.
Yes. Richard?
And?
- He didn't get the contract.
- I knew it.
It was the last straw.
Is he coming?
So I can tell him he's fired.
No. He took the day off.
It's better like that.
He doesn't need more bad news.
He was upset on the phone.
I'd rather tell him right away.
It would be a relief.
I'd have a better weekend.
I'm shocked.
After all those years. I'm shocked.
Annoying bastard.
I'm not telling him he's fired.
I'II do it.
Get the paperwork ready
so he can sign Monday.
We'II be rid of him.
To you. jackasses.
What are we drinking to?
To your future job.
- Am I missing something?
- No.
Is it bad I don't
have a job?
You think I'm kind of a loser.
Just a little?
What do your friends say?
''Why are you with a loser?''
But I told them
you're a good lay.
That's priceless.
I like that.
Even if it's not true. I like it.
I've been a househusband
for 3 months now.
and you know.
I don't know why women
fought for years
to be able to work.
I love staying home.
I'II beat you.
A battered househusband.
that'II cost you. my dear.
You're costing me.
- Do you want a main course?
- It depends.
You're paying?
Pizza Caprese.
I've gotta pee.
Who are you?
- Who sent you?
- I can't hear.
It's OK. You saved my life.
Massino...
never forgets an enemy.
Or a friend.
We'II meet again.
Madame.
Don Massino. with all due respect?
I know.
You always give the same
song and dance.
''We have to protect you.
It's for your good.
''For your protection...''
I get it. but I'm sick of it.
You're sick of it?
Yes. Loretta. I am.
Just a little.
I'm scared.
I'm scared. too.
I'm scared for you.
Everyone's afraid of something.
OK. Don't listen.
Go back to work.
protect me like Loretta wants.
Happy?
Oh. and one more thing.
Find me the guy who
saved me.
I want to know his name.
who he lives with.
who he works for.
what he eats. what he drinks?
I want to know it all.
- Why are you laughing?
- You should have seen
when the cops asked:
''Were you close
to the godfather Massino?''
And you?
Your awesome answer.
''Uh. can you repeat that?''
- I almost laughed out loud.
- I didn't expect that.
What would you do if you knew
he was in the mafia?
- The same thing.
- Save a murderer?
- Yes.
- I don't know.
You don't know?
Imagine it's your boss.
you'd like to tear his head off.
he starts choking at lunch.
What do you do?
You have a golden chance
to watch him die.
What do you do?
You save him.
It's not your boss you're saving.
but life.
And that's what I did.
I protected life.
Not on purpose?
but? I did.
You're OK.
You've got no future.
but I love you.
Me. too.
You must be starving.
You were hungry before.
We didn't have time to eat.
What's in the fridge?
I can make you
my Michigan hot dogs.
- Aren't you sick of those?
- Not yet.
Racquetball's great.
Only you could make me work
on Sunday.
Bon. OK. 2 choices.
1. I screw in a new tooth.
it takes 6 months to heal.
''6 months''? Forget it.
Or I give you a bridge.
- Does it look ridiculous?
- No.
They're common.
Sorry.
I didn't forget.
Be there at noon.
I have a meeting.
Uh. hold on.
- Noon?
- You'II be out then.
OK.
Crazy for Crepes - Creperie
You didn't eat your fruit.
I'II make you a deal.
Let me guess.
You want to exchange your fruit
for my bacon.
It's a good deal.
And healthy for you.
I'II give you half my bacon
for half the fruit.
Last offer. Take it or leave it.
If I refuse?
I'II tickle you to death.
Give me your bacon.
Give me your fruit.
What's in your teeth?
Nothing.
You don't want sausage?
I'm done with sausage.
I need a change.
What's a godfather?
Like Uncle Gilbert?
It's also a mafia boss.
What's the mafia?
Organized crime.
What's organized crime?
They're like me.
they sell things.
but their stuff is illegal.
and they use violence
to help their business.
Could you be in that business?
No. no. honey.
I'm too well-behaved.
Do you know why you're here?
I'd be lying if I said no.
When you were in Toronto.
something bad happened.
Very bad.
What happened?
Well... Gilles and I?
we had a bit of an altercation
''An altercation''...
They fought behind the desk.
I separated them.
Gilles?
Yes. Our own partner
jumped on me.
I couldn't even breathe.
No one had ever hit me before.
The 1 st and last time.
He could have killed me.
Gilles?
We had to make a decision
without your input.
I hope you understand.
Uh... Understand what?
Well. I?
We decided to fire Gilles
and you're OK.
We bought his 250/o share.
it's 500.OOO dollars.
You just have to sign.
You could have told me.
We wanted to talk in person.
Pick up a damn phone and call.
It's too important.
We didn't want to distract you.
What would change
if we called you?
Some things?
I knew it. he disagrees.
He's in shock.
Let him digest it.
I'm in shock.
You fired Gilles.
Is it permanent?
No second shot?
Who will handle R and D?
Gilles was in charge of new products.
''New products''.
We've made the same sausage
25 years.
Gilles didn't have ideas.
It's funny.
When he showed you a new product.
you rejected it.
He said you had no vision.
Me? I have no vision?
Gilles. the great visionary?
Let's not get into that. guys.
Hold on.
For a long time.
I haven't bothered you with his crap.
You know his last invention?
The dog-burger.
What?
The dog-burger. It was a hot dog
shaped like a burger.
He must've had more ideas.
No. Here it gets interesting.
That was phase 1 of a trilogy.
This summer he wanted to break
more ground.
Are you wondering what's better
a hot dog hamburger?
Ready?
Ground beef shaped like a sausage.
Oh. yeah.
Turning a hamburger into
a hot dog. Great. huh?
You think he did nothing.
just sit around for 1 5 years.
Oh. no.
The ideas machine
was running on steam.
Last week I told him: ''Enough.''
He took it bad.
And to answer you.
it's permanent.
500.OOO?
That's not much.
250/o of the company
is worth more than that.
That's the other thing.
We got the latest quarterly report.
That's not bad.
Turn the page.
We're in the red.
Why didn't you say?
Did I know?
We haven't stopped
making sausages.
Is the truck empty?
It's too late once you know.
We just found out.
The good news
is we can give Gilles less.
Great news!
Do you see why Toronto
was important?
If you'd told me
I would have vomited on them.
OK. Guys?
We're the company.
We have 2 quarters to turn it around.
So no broken packages.
no late orders.
Iess spelling errors
on the labels.
No contract.
To you. jackasses.
No spelling mistakes...
You picked a good time
to fire me.
The company's worthless.
Why do I have to go? Huh?
Why not Conrad?
After 1 5 years of loyal service
this. I don't accept it.
You conspired against me.
I'II get revenge.
Hold up. ''Conspired''?
You tried to strangle him.
At least he didn't file a complaint.
He could have.
Move on. Think of yourself.
You've worked there
for 1 5 years. 5 days a week
1 O hours a day.
You have no wife. kids.
You have no life.
Embrace it.
Go on a trip.
Visit Easter Island.
How many times did you tell us?
Aliens put the statues there
for a landing strip.
Go enjoy it.
Live life.
Most importantly
put your pride and ego aside.
It's not worth it.
Believe me.
It wasn't aliens.
- Huh?
- Forget it.
Chile - Easter Island
Here. Show this at the window.
They'II give you a ticket
to Easter Island.
Bon voyage.
Dorval Airport.
Have a nice life.
A hot dog with bite
He signed. AII set.
If that's from us. we're fucked.
We know who it was.
our ship is sinking.
Who was it?
Who do you think? Gilles.
Gilles? But why?
For revenge.
He clearly said he was biting mad.
He didn't say that.
Even so. I know it was him.
He never allowed cameras
in the factory.
I know him better.
He wouldn't do that.
An asshole did it.
A jerk. a moron.
Gilles.
We'II sue him
for trying to tarnish our image.
sabotage...
No. Calm down.
We have no proof it was him.
And if it were him
or an employee
or you. or you. or me.
the problem isn't who put
the tooth in the machine.
it's the guy who found the tooth.
You're right.
We can't tell the press
''We know it's Gilles Langevin.
''You can eat your hot dogs
in peace. We fired him.''
I doubt that would fix things.
In any case my shares
are going cheap
if you're interested.
Did the newspaper
name anyone?
Francois Pigeon.
Pigeon must have called
them to make money.
Really?
No.
Surprisingly he has no intentions
of suing anyone.
He wants to return
the package with the tooth
to the company.
Absurd.
- Did he mention the company?
- No.
He's a professional.
An amateur would have
revealed the name
and sued us.
He's not going to court.
He wants an undisclosed sum.
He knows we don't want
our name out there.
Got us by the balls.
This is going to cost a fortune.
We don't know it's us yet.
Even so.
We have to assume it was us.
OK...
I'II repeat. my shares are for sale.
For 1 5 years.
we've worked for one thing:
the best sausage.
However it happened.
we'II get through it.
I don't care.
I'II sell my car. my house.
my cabin. live on the street.
but Saucibec is what counts.
Philippe. I'm moved by this.
but there's nothing you can do.
That guy's going to pay.
it'II be a professional job.
So what do we do?
We'II find him. Francois Pigeon.
make an offer he can't refuse.
Only if it's us.
Of course.
Call the secret service.
Ginette. at reception.
What is this?
trailer?
He inherited it from his grandma.
I don't know how they live there.
Tony. don't repeat this to anyone.
especially Loretta.
or we'II hear about it for a month.
She won't shut up.
What happened that day
was a miracle from the Madonna.
While you were eying
the waitress..
- ''Waitress''?
It was a waiter.
To each his own.
I'm joking.
Don't get upset.
Every miracle deserves
compensation.
I'II go to church personally
to thank the Madonna.
I'II light a candle.
You'II thank the Madonna?
You don't know her.
The only time you went to church
was for your baptism.
It's true. eh?
I know you don't believe it.
One day you'II grow up
and believe.
Now who did the miracle?
Fran?ois?
Who helped him perform
this miracle?
The Madonna.
Only she performs miracles.
''The Madonna''?
Hi.
Hi. honey.
You're working overtime?
Remember we bought cretons
at the Atwater market. Iast winter?
No. I don't recall.
It was in the back.
Behind the soy sauce.
Maybe it's still good.
At first I thought
it was a dead rat.
It had a layer of white fur.
Spare me the details.
Did you do the freezer?
You didn't send it.
I've thought.
I'm not sending the
package to Saucibec.
Think about it.
What will happen
when the tooth gets to
the CEO's office?
The general manager
will get yelled at.
Then he'II yell at the supervisor.
who will yell at
the poor factory workers.
who have families.
and who go home afraid
of losing their job.
They'II stress out their kids.
who won't concentrate at school.
they'II fail.
It will have a repercussion
on their life.
AII over a tooth.
Remember why you contacted
the press.
To scare sausage factories.
To make them think
before sending the tooth.
If you don't send it. it falls apart.
No. I disagree.
OK. Saucibec won't know it was them.
but they'II be afraid
for their lives for 2 days.
They'II be more careful.
Can I ask you something
very important?
I never want you to buy sausages.
- Too late.
- You bought more?
- What kind?
- Saucibec.
What do you want?
I love them.
And they were on sale.
Why did you let a stranger over?
He had something important
to tell me.
Life is funny sometimes.
You're in the middle
of an international crisis.
open heart surgery.
or a big date.
when you have to shit.
so the world stops.
I think we're acquainted.
No more filters. you can fart.
We know what you feel.
I love folks like you.
- OK. Sonia?
- Just fine.
But like I was saying.
I read the news article and thought:
''This will hurt Saucibec.''
Couldn't you shut
your big mouth?
Great.
I haven't said anything.
But I'm impressed.
Not naming the company.
Pretending you'II send the package
to those clowns.
It's genius.
You should be happy
to have a brain like that.
Listen...
It's nice to think that.
but it's not our goal.
That said. we're not dumb.
We could have sued the company
but? we aren't scammers.
AIso. Saucibec. is a local company.
founded and run by four Quebeckers.
Three.
Three. Whatever.
We'd feel bad making money off them.
And we don't want to make anyone
Iose their job.
That's it.
The good little Christian
who did without.
with 20th century values.
Are you afraid of hurting someone?
What are the chances a tooth
winds up in a sausage?
You don't get it.
God gave you a hand.
My role is to share a message.
You're a messenger of God?
Don't exaggerate.
More like God's bike courrier.
I learned something recently.
In life. it's each man for himself.
Let the rest eat shit.
Hockey is the best example.
You know.
each year.
presidents of the national
Ieague clubs meet
and decide who will win
the next Stanley Cup?
Whatever.
Do you watch hockey?
In 1 995.
an informant told Patrick Roy
the Stanley Cup would go
to the Quebec Nordics
and the Canadians
wouldn't get it for a long time.
Wasn't he right?
Patrick wasn't in a good mood.
He threatened the league
that if the Nordics didn't win it.
he'd tell the press.
That's it.
No. no. I think I heard about this
at work.
What work?
Touch?.
Of course the owners freaked out.
understandably.
So they ordered
Patrick's transfer to the Nordics.
It didn't work
because of Quebec-Montreal rivalry.
but a few days later.
the Nordics were sold to Colorado.
Patrick was transferred
and won the Stanley Cup.
The moral of the story is Patrick
put himself first. You see?
We still love Patrick.
Of course.
My proposal is simple.
You'II make a lot of money.
without a trial.
an attorney. or court.
no bullshit.
AII I ask in exchange is:
you call the press
and destroy Saucibec.
so I can crush them for once
and for all.
Well?
It's hard to have principles
with 50.OOO dollars.
Fuck your principles.
They shouldn't put a tooth
in their sausage.
Saucibec never came
to offer us compensation.
Even if the poor families
Iose their jobs.
won't you regret it?
- No.
They'II do what I did.
Find a new job.
And the kids?
They'II learn what poverty is.
It'II make them stronger.
No. it's positive.
What's this?
A gift for a friend.
What friend?
Francois.
Francois who?
He diverted the bullet.
You're giving him a car?
It's the least I can do.
Life is worth more than a car.
You were crazy
but you're getting worse.
You think I'm crazy?
And you?
You're normal?
to still be with me.
It's a nice gift.
I want to take it to him personally.
Alone.
Alone. no.
You're not going out.
Ask Tony.
Get it?
Get it?
I get it. I get it.
Come to bed.
I have a gift for you. too.
Coffee and I don't get along.
Do you plan to sue Saucibec?
I didn't say anything. I swear.
How do you know it was Saucibec?
Well played.
Now he knows.
It was a Saucibec partner
getting revenge.
I think I know who.
Listen.
To answer your question.
we have no intention of
suing the company.
I knew there were still
generous people.
Not just people
who are out for money.
Listen?
Sincerely. on my behalf
and that of the whole team.
thank you.
You're generous with Saucibec.
Saucibec is generous with you.
Ready?
Saucibec is offering you a car
worth 30.OOO dollars.
it will be here tomorrow.
AII you have to do is put in gas.
Don't thank me.
It's the least we can do.
Wow. It's...
That's very nice of Saucibec.
but there's just one thing?
we had a better offer.
Much better.
You're kidding.
There's no offer.
I know it.
You're trying to drive up the price.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Incredible.
But I'm not surprised.
Who else would do this?
- I'm surprised.
- You are?
He put a tooth in a sausage
and 2 Good Samaritans ruin it.
He pays them to change their mind.
No. Guys. all companies must end.
We're at the end.
It's a declaration of war
against Saucibec.
He overstepped.
He wants revenge
and he won't stop till we're ruined.
It's just the beginning.
It'II get worse. I know him.
No. We have to stop the bleeding
so we have to act now.
and act fast.
We'II get rid of him.
Get rid of him?
- Get rid of. it's?
- No.
Kidnapping.
''Kidnapping.''
We won't hurt him.
We'II shut him up 2 days.
so he thinks it over and calms down.
During that time. we make a deal.
So. we're kidnapping him? Wow!
Great idea.
Conrad. get some garbage bags.
You take care of the ties.
Done.
Are you insane?
No. no.
Know what? I'II give you my shares.
I'II take them.
Are you coming?
Richard. coming or not?
I thought Gilles was
the only crazy one here.
He's not.
Where can you find
a kidnapping specialist?
Ginette. at reception.
Some advice.
AIways close the patio door.
I was in my patio.
Can we talk somewhere quiet?
My daughter's bedroom.
Perfect.
See you in 30 seconds.
Nice floor.
That's not easy.
Nope.
So a kidnapping for 7 to 1 O days.
housing. food.
- Yes.
- No torture.
abusive use of force or mutilation.
That's very important to us.
Have a photo?
We're talking?
1 8.547.
That's expensive.
No offense. I feel like
you're taking advantage of me.
Don't insult me.
It's expensive
because it's harder to not hurt him.
It's 300/o more.
And there's food. My hostages eat
like in a 5-star hotel.
I have all fresh. organic food.
all you can eat.
If I can't pay that. is there...
a 2-star package?
Unfortunately. no.
Come on. you can do better.
8 x 8.
64.
No less. My best price.
1 3.254.
How did you get that figure?
What's the calculation?
My operation fees.
I'm not the cheapest.
But I won't screw up.
You'II sleep at night.
Give me a price
and I'II make a recommendation.
Here's the regulars' price.
I hardly do this.
You have 2 seconds to decide.
There's a proposal! Sold.
How do we do it? Do you take
company checks?
What do you think?
You're so organized. I thought...
Here's my account number.
If there's no money
at 1 1 tomorrow. we're done.
I'II call you when it's done.
Tony.
I thought the fit for Fran?ois...
The car. it's not enough.
I had an idea.
- More?
- Yes.
Rehab his house.
- Just the outside?
- The whole thing. in and out.
That house is shit.
Exactly. Tony. because it's shit.
Boom. shit!
No more shit!
You have one week.
- I've got architect plans.
- Plans?
Yes.
It's not enough time.
What? Tony. you're joking.
And last year?
You built a bunker
in 6 days
with walls like a prison.
It was different.
It was an emergency.
Wasn't Francois saving me serious?
It's not what?
Give me a week.
I'II do the work.
There you go.
I knew it.
Listen.
Tonight we dine and relax.
Tomorrow.
you go to the travel agency.
To buy 2 tickets.
Talk to Julio.
2 tickets to Mexico. First class.
For Francois and his wife.
They're going to Mexico.
To my villa.
Listen. Gilles. we called
because we changed our mind.
The truth
is... Saucibec made an offer
we can't refuse.
It's not about money.
We never wanted to ruin
Saucibec's image.
Well its' money. too.
How much?
50 and a _30.OOO car.
When you think about it.
3 things control everything in life.
Power. sex.
and money.
But really one thing controls it all.
Money.
With money you bed who you want
and you have power.
You. Fran?ois. are proof of that.
You personify the pathetic people
who won't let the world change.
But Gilles.
don't take it personally.
You're fighting a sausage giant.
It's David vs. Goliath.
Gilles. before you rip up that check.
think hard.
I have an offer for 50.OOO
plus a car.
What will you give me
if I refuse?
So I move my ass and run
to the press?
Your offer should be impressive.
See what I'm saying?
Sonia. I can't feel my hand.
can you let go?
I can't. I'm overexcited!
1 50.OOO dollars!
I'm so excited!
It's not over.
We won't turn that down.
OK. Listen close.
You'II tell Saucibec
we have a check for 1 50.OOO dollars!
We can negotiate up to.
say. 1 25.OOO.
Come on. 1 35.OOO.
So excited!
I know you're lying.
You moved your eyebrow.
You don't know me.
That's when I tell the truth.
They say: ''No news is good news.''
No worries. We've got a pro.
You're negative.
Why do I associate
with someone like you?
Opposites attract.
Slaves' work!
And you're racist.
No. my mom said that.
- Do you prefer shit work?
- Yes. I do.
Hello?
Florence? Uh...
Florence is in the bathroom.
she'II call back.
Shit!
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again. I promise.
You said that last week.
Can you do me a favor?
I told your mom
you were in the bathroom.
Hello?
It hung up.
What?
I heard: ''It's done''
and it hung up.
Must be a wrong number.
Let's go.
To apologize I want you to make
filet mignon.
If you want.
I'm your chef tonight.
I also want
a chocolate banana split.
You won't sleep.
- That's your problem.
- You're right.
You'II be here a while.
We'II try to keep some hygiene.
I doubt you have a change of clothes.
I'II remove the gag.
but if you yell. it's the cold room.
I warn you. it's boring.
Or else you can watch TV.
I have cable.
How's this?
On the menu tonight?
Vegetarian lasagne.
Just raw vegetables.
And no pasta.
It's fine layers of zucchini.
How do you like the ricotta cheese?
It's not ricotta.
It's macadamia nuts
you ground up
with lemon juice.
Gills is no idiot.
And yet here I am.
I try to cook raw organic food.
It's a new thing.
I have digestive issues.
Maybe it's age.
I get gassy when I eat.
It's not that your digestive
issues aren't fascinating.
but I don't give a shit.
Give me my checkbook.
I'II give you 1 O times
what Saucibec paid.
1 5!
20!
25!
A check for 1 50.OOO?
He's crazier than I thought.
I imagine you want more.
No.
We're open to negotiation.
Listen. Philippe.
we're putting the cards on the table.
We showed up
1 O minutes after Gilles left.
I thought it was you. No.
It was an attorney specialized
in sausage.
I asked him his name.
but he said nothing.
But he doesn't like Saucibec either.
Basically. he said
with our file
he could get
250.OOO or 300.OOO. easy.
And he's really motivated.
He covers all the lawsuit fees.
When he said that we were surprised.
Yes. Well. I was surprised.
Yes. and we thought:
''What do we do with this?''
You said:
''What do we do with this?''
And we thought.
courts. attorneys. all that?
forget it..
And Gilles...
We forget him.
200.OOO dollars
and we never speak again.
We'II see you in court.
What did you do?
Impossible.
Our plan was fool-proof.
You're such an idiot.
To buy back your mistake...
Call Gilles and ask for a new check.
- Am I clear?
- Yes. honey.
You're the worst liar I know.
Hello. it's Gilles Langevin.
Leave a message.
Hey. Gilles. it's Francois.
Listen. I put my jeans
in the washer
and the check was in the pocket?
Could you bring me another?
Same amount.
No change.
See you. Bye.
He'II call back.
We're dealing with
a compulsive liar.
Now he says there's a lawyer
working for the competition.
I give up. You handle it. I'm done.
Are you joking.
I think I know who it is.
What?
2 days ago. Michel. from Lauridel.
called my office.
What did you say?
He wanted to know?
He didn't get the sausages
and wanted to know if
we got them.
I said ''No''.
Give me that.
But I said: ''Don't worry.
we're handling it.''
No?
I didn't now he would figure
it was us.
I'm sure it's Michel.
Of course. He's a lawyer.
We've taken his market share
for years.
He wants us to fail.
I feel like we're digging our grave.
If we kidnapped one more
we could get a deal.
Call your guy.
- Boss?
- Don't panic.
Keep watching TV.
I just went to deliver
my gift.
Hey! Important:
Don't tell Loretta.
OK.
Get me in 20 min at Francois'
house. Call when you're here.
Great. Yes. Yes.
OK.
Hello. It's Gilles Langevin.
Leave me a message.
Gilles...
I've left you 6 messages.
I'm disappointed.
I don't know what you're up to.
But I'm disappointed.
Honey?
Saucibec gave in!
My strategy worked.
What's this?
Probably the car they promised.
The 200.OOO are coming.
If they believed you.
they're really dumb.
Call Saucibec right away
and say we'II take their offer.
Don't worry.
I know what I'm doing.
He's waking up.
Hi...
I'm Gilles.
Were you the bassist in Kiss?
I'II remove the Scotch.
If you yell.
I'II lock you up the cold room.
Believe me. he'II do it.
Understand?
I'm looking at you?
You look like the Godfather.
What's his name?
Passimo?
Passimi?
Do you want the Scotch back?
Yeah?
I know I fucked up at the restaurant.
What do you want?
If you're interested in Massino.
I can deliver him alive. tonight.
to make it up.
Are you kidding?
Sorry again.
Listen. Jimmy.
The last time I wasn't clear.
So I'II repeat it one last time.
You're an incompetent.
has-been hit man.
I don't work with losers.
If you call again
I'II put a prize on your head.
Am I clear?
No answer.
I don't see him.
There's no problem.
He's in the bathroom.
He takes his time.
Isn't it quiet for people
who just got a car?
- OK. I'II look.
- No. no.
Don't move.
I see.
Who's that?
The brains of the operation.
The guy gave him a check.
You're hurting my hand.
I know. I can't stop.
I have a check for 200.OOO dollars!
- Where'd he go?
- I'm calling the cops.
What will you tell them?
We just blackmailed a guy
and he was kidnapped?
If you want to go to jail.
that's a solid story.
What do we do?
AII we do is manage
crises between beige walls.
You're right. We'II repaint.
- Yes?
- They took Philippe.
- Who's this?
- Francois. with the tooth.
Who took him?
A guy got out of a car
with a machine gun and took him.
''Machine gun''?
Philippe was kidnapped.
- What did the guy look like?
- Mad.
I didn't now what to do.
I called you first.
Not the cops.
Francois. shut up.
And disappear.
Yes. perfect. Great idea.
Good luck. guys.
and thanks again for the check.
Bye.
We did what we had to.
Now it's their problem.
We went too far.
Lauridel's revenge.
They know we kidnapped Michel.
I told you!
I knew these kidnappings
would end bad.
OK. What do we do?
Conrad!
Conrad!
- I'm thinking!
- We've got 2 choices:
We call Lauridel or wait for them.
Let me think!
Let me think!
Who do you work for?
Saucibec.
You're kidding.
Who's your boss?
I'm Richard's and Conrad's partner
at Saucibec.
Shit!
It's true. He's VP at Saucibec.
What's this?
A cover to launder money?
Calm down. it's a misunderstanding.
I know Lauridel hired you.
Right?
''Lauridel''?
What's Lauridel?
Lauridel is another sausage
and hot dog company.
Do we have a contact there?
I don't think so.
Maybe Michel?
Who's he?
I don't know.
I've had enough.
Who's your guy?
My guy... Shit!
It's Philippe.
Yes. Philippe?
Listen to me.
Who's this?
Doesn't matter.
No time for that.
I bring your guy
and you bring the godfather.
Got it?
I don't know what this is.
but the Italian mafioso accent
doesn't work on me.
Can you repeat that?
You heard me.
You're not talking to Lauridel.
- What?
- It's not Lauridel.
This isn't Lauridel.
Wait. I have to listen
to my remaining partner.
You must have
an agreement with him.
What's funny?
Nothing.
You realize we kidnapped
the mafia godfather?
Stop laughing.
I can't.
Please. stop. This is serious.
OK.
If it's true.
the kidnapper we hired
should have told us!
Hope it's not that. stop laughing.
OK. Settled.
When and where?
What are you doing?
It's my grandpa's 1 2.
It fed 3 generations.
It still works.
- Are we doing that?
- This is serious.
We kidnapped Quebec's
most dangerous mobster.
It might go bad.
I'm not taking the risk.
- How's this?
- OK.
Ah. here?
You can finish the job you started.
You want to know who hired me
to kill you?
You want to settle scores
and clean house?
You know where I am.
That's nice.
My hands are tied.
Why fuck with sausage makers?
Huh?
Why take sausage
and hot dog sellers?
Is sausages and hot dogs a code?
Don't play naive.
Unbelievable!
There's no taxes
on selling drugs!
Did we just mess with you?
Who are you?
Co-CEO of Saucibec.
You're joking.
The door!
Have you killed people here?
Tons! Many. many?
What are we doing?
What?
Raise your left arm
and my man raises his.
Lower your left arm
and my man frees your guy.
And you let me go. It's over.
Don't mess with me or you'II pay.
What are they doing?
Let's not talk about
the sausage. OK?
Eh?
What are they doing?
Oh. no.
- Let's kill them.
- No. no!
What. no?
No shots.
It's just a gang of hot dog eaters.
- OK. quick. go!
- OK. Let's go.
He's alive!
He was playing dead.
Don't move.
You're lucky.
It didn't hit the bone.
Richard. why did you shoot at him?
You shot?
Idiot!
You're no better.
you gave him a pistol.
At least you didn't aim at my head!
He's too clumsy!
What's funny?
We're all in the middle of nowhere.
still fighting.
I might lose my leg
and you're laughing!
3 losers!
Guys?
I couldn't tell you before.
but I have to say something.
The tooth?
was m i ne.
- Why's he protecting Gilles?
- They must have a deal.
No. I put the tooth
in the machine.
If it's a plan to bring Gilles back.
it's not working.
No. it's true.
Philippe. relax.
or you'II freak out.
- Watch your leg.
- Leave me alone.
You see that?
It's an artificial tooth.
Where's my real tooth?
Francois' sausage.
- This is crazy. Philippe.
- It's a fake tooth!
Shit!
Hello?
Just a minute?
It's the kidnapper.
What do we do with Gilles?
Put him on.
Yes. this is Conrad.
Listen?
What if you keep him longer?
He's calculating.
Oh yeah? Oh?
What's your name? Jimmy?
Jimmy. for that price
we'II take another week.
Thank you!
Take good care of him!
That'II teach him!
If we want to work together.
we should tell the truth.
That's true.
I'm telling you. I put it in.
You're already lying!
Hey. guys?
Screw you!
Tell Mr. Massino
it was our best vacation.
Yeah. really.
The villa was great.
- So chic.
- The floral arrangements...
So well-maintained?
The cook is great.
- Very talented.
- Pedro.
- We went diving.
- I swam with dolphins!
His dream!
- We met a turtle.
- We brought it back.
We loved it.
- Everything...
- The sea scooter.
It was great.
But?
AII this is probably not free?
You want something in return.
Like taking drugs to the US
and if we don't...
it's over. right?
Or you hid a suitcase of cash
in the house
and one day someone will get it?
Huh?
That's it?
Francois. Iook!
Oh. my God!
It can't be.
- Look!
- Incredible!
- Look!
- They did the windows!
The windows!
It's crazy! Look!
The car! The car!
We have two cars!
I don't know what to say.
It's?
Someone will call you in 2 days.
He'II give you instructions.
Really?
No. it's a joke!
- Have fun. man.
- Yes.
Thanks!
Can I help you?
Maybe. Who are you?
Who are you?
Gilles Langevin.
ex partner. Saucibec.
No more damn sausages!
You're sick of sausage?
There's a tub in the bedroom
and a minibar!
There's a cellar
with 1 OO bottles of wine!
A home theater!
Mom told me Saucibec
was involved
with the mafia.
- Never heard of it.
- Liar.
- No.
- Swear.
- No.
- Swear!
- I don't have to.
- You met criminals!
Shh!
- OK. Mom's right.
- Is there more?
Lots. honey.
but give it time.
Subtitling: Eclair Group
---
Are you in Toronto?
No. I took the 3pm flight.
You didn't call. no good news?
Actually. we didn't get the contract.
The Toronto guys
don't want our sausage.
I know why.
They know we're beating them.
When are you coming?
I'm taking the day off.
I need to digest this.
OK. See you Monday.
OK. See you.
Oh. Richard...
Don't tell Conrad we didn't get it.
I'II tell him.
Don't worry.
Have a good weekend.
OK. Bye.
Yes. Richard?
And?
- He didn't get the contract.
- I knew it.
It was the last straw.
Is he coming?
So I can tell him he's fired.
No. He took the day off.
It's better like that.
He doesn't need more bad news.
He was upset on the phone.
I'd rather tell him right away.
It would be a relief.
I'd have a better weekend.
I'm shocked.
After all those years. I'm shocked.
Annoying bastard.
I'm not telling him he's fired.
I'II do it.
Get the paperwork ready
so he can sign Monday.
We'II be rid of him.
To you. jackasses.
What are we drinking to?
To your future job.
- Am I missing something?
- No.
Is it bad I don't
have a job?
You think I'm kind of a loser.
Just a little?
What do your friends say?
''Why are you with a loser?''
But I told them
you're a good lay.
That's priceless.
I like that.
Even if it's not true. I like it.
I've been a househusband
for 3 months now.
and you know.
I don't know why women
fought for years
to be able to work.
I love staying home.
I'II beat you.
A battered househusband.
that'II cost you. my dear.
You're costing me.
- Do you want a main course?
- It depends.
You're paying?
Pizza Caprese.
I've gotta pee.
Who are you?
- Who sent you?
- I can't hear.
It's OK. You saved my life.
Massino...
never forgets an enemy.
Or a friend.
We'II meet again.
Madame.
Don Massino. with all due respect?
I know.
You always give the same
song and dance.
''We have to protect you.
It's for your good.
''For your protection...''
I get it. but I'm sick of it.
You're sick of it?
Yes. Loretta. I am.
Just a little.
I'm scared.
I'm scared. too.
I'm scared for you.
Everyone's afraid of something.
OK. Don't listen.
Go back to work.
protect me like Loretta wants.
Happy?
Oh. and one more thing.
Find me the guy who
saved me.
I want to know his name.
who he lives with.
who he works for.
what he eats. what he drinks?
I want to know it all.
- Why are you laughing?
- You should have seen
when the cops asked:
''Were you close
to the godfather Massino?''
And you?
Your awesome answer.
''Uh. can you repeat that?''
- I almost laughed out loud.
- I didn't expect that.
What would you do if you knew
he was in the mafia?
- The same thing.
- Save a murderer?
- Yes.
- I don't know.
You don't know?
Imagine it's your boss.
you'd like to tear his head off.
he starts choking at lunch.
What do you do?
You have a golden chance
to watch him die.
What do you do?
You save him.
It's not your boss you're saving.
but life.
And that's what I did.
I protected life.
Not on purpose?
but? I did.
You're OK.
You've got no future.
but I love you.
Me. too.
You must be starving.
You were hungry before.
We didn't have time to eat.
What's in the fridge?
I can make you
my Michigan hot dogs.
- Aren't you sick of those?
- Not yet.
Racquetball's great.
Only you could make me work
on Sunday.
Bon. OK. 2 choices.
1. I screw in a new tooth.
it takes 6 months to heal.
''6 months''? Forget it.
Or I give you a bridge.
- Does it look ridiculous?
- No.
They're common.
Sorry.
I didn't forget.
Be there at noon.
I have a meeting.
Uh. hold on.
- Noon?
- You'II be out then.
OK.
Crazy for Crepes - Creperie
You didn't eat your fruit.
I'II make you a deal.
Let me guess.
You want to exchange your fruit
for my bacon.
It's a good deal.
And healthy for you.
I'II give you half my bacon
for half the fruit.
Last offer. Take it or leave it.
If I refuse?
I'II tickle you to death.
Give me your bacon.
Give me your fruit.
What's in your teeth?
Nothing.
You don't want sausage?
I'm done with sausage.
I need a change.
What's a godfather?
Like Uncle Gilbert?
It's also a mafia boss.
What's the mafia?
Organized crime.
What's organized crime?
They're like me.
they sell things.
but their stuff is illegal.
and they use violence
to help their business.
Could you be in that business?
No. no. honey.
I'm too well-behaved.
Do you know why you're here?
I'd be lying if I said no.
When you were in Toronto.
something bad happened.
Very bad.
What happened?
Well... Gilles and I?
we had a bit of an altercation
''An altercation''...
They fought behind the desk.
I separated them.
Gilles?
Yes. Our own partner
jumped on me.
I couldn't even breathe.
No one had ever hit me before.
The 1 st and last time.
He could have killed me.
Gilles?
We had to make a decision
without your input.
I hope you understand.
Uh... Understand what?
Well. I?
We decided to fire Gilles
and you're OK.
We bought his 250/o share.
it's 500.OOO dollars.
You just have to sign.
You could have told me.
We wanted to talk in person.
Pick up a damn phone and call.
It's too important.
We didn't want to distract you.
What would change
if we called you?
Some things?
I knew it. he disagrees.
He's in shock.
Let him digest it.
I'm in shock.
You fired Gilles.
Is it permanent?
No second shot?
Who will handle R and D?
Gilles was in charge of new products.
''New products''.
We've made the same sausage
25 years.
Gilles didn't have ideas.
It's funny.
When he showed you a new product.
you rejected it.
He said you had no vision.
Me? I have no vision?
Gilles. the great visionary?
Let's not get into that. guys.
Hold on.
For a long time.
I haven't bothered you with his crap.
You know his last invention?
The dog-burger.
What?
The dog-burger. It was a hot dog
shaped like a burger.
He must've had more ideas.
No. Here it gets interesting.
That was phase 1 of a trilogy.
This summer he wanted to break
more ground.
Are you wondering what's better
a hot dog hamburger?
Ready?
Ground beef shaped like a sausage.
Oh. yeah.
Turning a hamburger into
a hot dog. Great. huh?
You think he did nothing.
just sit around for 1 5 years.
Oh. no.
The ideas machine
was running on steam.
Last week I told him: ''Enough.''
He took it bad.
And to answer you.
it's permanent.
500.OOO?
That's not much.
250/o of the company
is worth more than that.
That's the other thing.
We got the latest quarterly report.
That's not bad.
Turn the page.
We're in the red.
Why didn't you say?
Did I know?
We haven't stopped
making sausages.
Is the truck empty?
It's too late once you know.
We just found out.
The good news
is we can give Gilles less.
Great news!
Do you see why Toronto
was important?
If you'd told me
I would have vomited on them.
OK. Guys?
We're the company.
We have 2 quarters to turn it around.
So no broken packages.
no late orders.
Iess spelling errors
on the labels.
No contract.
To you. jackasses.
No spelling mistakes...
You picked a good time
to fire me.
The company's worthless.
Why do I have to go? Huh?
Why not Conrad?
After 1 5 years of loyal service
this. I don't accept it.
You conspired against me.
I'II get revenge.
Hold up. ''Conspired''?
You tried to strangle him.
At least he didn't file a complaint.
He could have.
Move on. Think of yourself.
You've worked there
for 1 5 years. 5 days a week
1 O hours a day.
You have no wife. kids.
You have no life.
Embrace it.
Go on a trip.
Visit Easter Island.
How many times did you tell us?
Aliens put the statues there
for a landing strip.
Go enjoy it.
Live life.
Most importantly
put your pride and ego aside.
It's not worth it.
Believe me.
It wasn't aliens.
- Huh?
- Forget it.
Chile - Easter Island
Here. Show this at the window.
They'II give you a ticket
to Easter Island.
Bon voyage.
Dorval Airport.
Have a nice life.
A hot dog with bite
He signed. AII set.
If that's from us. we're fucked.
We know who it was.
our ship is sinking.
Who was it?
Who do you think? Gilles.
Gilles? But why?
For revenge.
He clearly said he was biting mad.
He didn't say that.
Even so. I know it was him.
He never allowed cameras
in the factory.
I know him better.
He wouldn't do that.
An asshole did it.
A jerk. a moron.
Gilles.
We'II sue him
for trying to tarnish our image.
sabotage...
No. Calm down.
We have no proof it was him.
And if it were him
or an employee
or you. or you. or me.
the problem isn't who put
the tooth in the machine.
it's the guy who found the tooth.
You're right.
We can't tell the press
''We know it's Gilles Langevin.
''You can eat your hot dogs
in peace. We fired him.''
I doubt that would fix things.
In any case my shares
are going cheap
if you're interested.
Did the newspaper
name anyone?
Francois Pigeon.
Pigeon must have called
them to make money.
Really?
No.
Surprisingly he has no intentions
of suing anyone.
He wants to return
the package with the tooth
to the company.
Absurd.
- Did he mention the company?
- No.
He's a professional.
An amateur would have
revealed the name
and sued us.
He's not going to court.
He wants an undisclosed sum.
He knows we don't want
our name out there.
Got us by the balls.
This is going to cost a fortune.
We don't know it's us yet.
Even so.
We have to assume it was us.
OK...
I'II repeat. my shares are for sale.
For 1 5 years.
we've worked for one thing:
the best sausage.
However it happened.
we'II get through it.
I don't care.
I'II sell my car. my house.
my cabin. live on the street.
but Saucibec is what counts.
Philippe. I'm moved by this.
but there's nothing you can do.
That guy's going to pay.
it'II be a professional job.
So what do we do?
We'II find him. Francois Pigeon.
make an offer he can't refuse.
Only if it's us.
Of course.
Call the secret service.
Ginette. at reception.
What is this?
trailer?
He inherited it from his grandma.
I don't know how they live there.
Tony. don't repeat this to anyone.
especially Loretta.
or we'II hear about it for a month.
She won't shut up.
What happened that day
was a miracle from the Madonna.
While you were eying
the waitress..
- ''Waitress''?
It was a waiter.
To each his own.
I'm joking.
Don't get upset.
Every miracle deserves
compensation.
I'II go to church personally
to thank the Madonna.
I'II light a candle.
You'II thank the Madonna?
You don't know her.
The only time you went to church
was for your baptism.
It's true. eh?
I know you don't believe it.
One day you'II grow up
and believe.
Now who did the miracle?
Fran?ois?
Who helped him perform
this miracle?
The Madonna.
Only she performs miracles.
''The Madonna''?
Hi.
Hi. honey.
You're working overtime?
Remember we bought cretons
at the Atwater market. Iast winter?
No. I don't recall.
It was in the back.
Behind the soy sauce.
Maybe it's still good.
At first I thought
it was a dead rat.
It had a layer of white fur.
Spare me the details.
Did you do the freezer?
You didn't send it.
I've thought.
I'm not sending the
package to Saucibec.
Think about it.
What will happen
when the tooth gets to
the CEO's office?
The general manager
will get yelled at.
Then he'II yell at the supervisor.
who will yell at
the poor factory workers.
who have families.
and who go home afraid
of losing their job.
They'II stress out their kids.
who won't concentrate at school.
they'II fail.
It will have a repercussion
on their life.
AII over a tooth.
Remember why you contacted
the press.
To scare sausage factories.
To make them think
before sending the tooth.
If you don't send it. it falls apart.
No. I disagree.
OK. Saucibec won't know it was them.
but they'II be afraid
for their lives for 2 days.
They'II be more careful.
Can I ask you something
very important?
I never want you to buy sausages.
- Too late.
- You bought more?
- What kind?
- Saucibec.
What do you want?
I love them.
And they were on sale.
Why did you let a stranger over?
He had something important
to tell me.
Life is funny sometimes.
You're in the middle
of an international crisis.
open heart surgery.
or a big date.
when you have to shit.
so the world stops.
I think we're acquainted.
No more filters. you can fart.
We know what you feel.
I love folks like you.
- OK. Sonia?
- Just fine.
But like I was saying.
I read the news article and thought:
''This will hurt Saucibec.''
Couldn't you shut
your big mouth?
Great.
I haven't said anything.
But I'm impressed.
Not naming the company.
Pretending you'II send the package
to those clowns.
It's genius.
You should be happy
to have a brain like that.
Listen...
It's nice to think that.
but it's not our goal.
That said. we're not dumb.
We could have sued the company
but? we aren't scammers.
AIso. Saucibec. is a local company.
founded and run by four Quebeckers.
Three.
Three. Whatever.
We'd feel bad making money off them.
And we don't want to make anyone
Iose their job.
That's it.
The good little Christian
who did without.
with 20th century values.
Are you afraid of hurting someone?
What are the chances a tooth
winds up in a sausage?
You don't get it.
God gave you a hand.
My role is to share a message.
You're a messenger of God?
Don't exaggerate.
More like God's bike courrier.
I learned something recently.
In life. it's each man for himself.
Let the rest eat shit.
Hockey is the best example.
You know.
each year.
presidents of the national
Ieague clubs meet
and decide who will win
the next Stanley Cup?
Whatever.
Do you watch hockey?
In 1 995.
an informant told Patrick Roy
the Stanley Cup would go
to the Quebec Nordics
and the Canadians
wouldn't get it for a long time.
Wasn't he right?
Patrick wasn't in a good mood.
He threatened the league
that if the Nordics didn't win it.
he'd tell the press.
That's it.
No. no. I think I heard about this
at work.
What work?
Touch?.
Of course the owners freaked out.
understandably.
So they ordered
Patrick's transfer to the Nordics.
It didn't work
because of Quebec-Montreal rivalry.
but a few days later.
the Nordics were sold to Colorado.
Patrick was transferred
and won the Stanley Cup.
The moral of the story is Patrick
put himself first. You see?
We still love Patrick.
Of course.
My proposal is simple.
You'II make a lot of money.
without a trial.
an attorney. or court.
no bullshit.
AII I ask in exchange is:
you call the press
and destroy Saucibec.
so I can crush them for once
and for all.
Well?
It's hard to have principles
with 50.OOO dollars.
Fuck your principles.
They shouldn't put a tooth
in their sausage.
Saucibec never came
to offer us compensation.
Even if the poor families
Iose their jobs.
won't you regret it?
- No.
They'II do what I did.
Find a new job.
And the kids?
They'II learn what poverty is.
It'II make them stronger.
No. it's positive.
What's this?
A gift for a friend.
What friend?
Francois.
Francois who?
He diverted the bullet.
You're giving him a car?
It's the least I can do.
Life is worth more than a car.
You were crazy
but you're getting worse.
You think I'm crazy?
And you?
You're normal?
to still be with me.
It's a nice gift.
I want to take it to him personally.
Alone.
Alone. no.
You're not going out.
Ask Tony.
Get it?
Get it?
I get it. I get it.
Come to bed.
I have a gift for you. too.
Coffee and I don't get along.
Do you plan to sue Saucibec?
I didn't say anything. I swear.
How do you know it was Saucibec?
Well played.
Now he knows.
It was a Saucibec partner
getting revenge.
I think I know who.
Listen.
To answer your question.
we have no intention of
suing the company.
I knew there were still
generous people.
Not just people
who are out for money.
Listen?
Sincerely. on my behalf
and that of the whole team.
thank you.
You're generous with Saucibec.
Saucibec is generous with you.
Ready?
Saucibec is offering you a car
worth 30.OOO dollars.
it will be here tomorrow.
AII you have to do is put in gas.
Don't thank me.
It's the least we can do.
Wow. It's...
That's very nice of Saucibec.
but there's just one thing?
we had a better offer.
Much better.
You're kidding.
There's no offer.
I know it.
You're trying to drive up the price.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Incredible.
But I'm not surprised.
Who else would do this?
- I'm surprised.
- You are?
He put a tooth in a sausage
and 2 Good Samaritans ruin it.
He pays them to change their mind.
No. Guys. all companies must end.
We're at the end.
It's a declaration of war
against Saucibec.
He overstepped.
He wants revenge
and he won't stop till we're ruined.
It's just the beginning.
It'II get worse. I know him.
No. We have to stop the bleeding
so we have to act now.
and act fast.
We'II get rid of him.
Get rid of him?
- Get rid of. it's?
- No.
Kidnapping.
''Kidnapping.''
We won't hurt him.
We'II shut him up 2 days.
so he thinks it over and calms down.
During that time. we make a deal.
So. we're kidnapping him? Wow!
Great idea.
Conrad. get some garbage bags.
You take care of the ties.
Done.
Are you insane?
No. no.
Know what? I'II give you my shares.
I'II take them.
Are you coming?
Richard. coming or not?
I thought Gilles was
the only crazy one here.
He's not.
Where can you find
a kidnapping specialist?
Ginette. at reception.
Some advice.
AIways close the patio door.
I was in my patio.
Can we talk somewhere quiet?
My daughter's bedroom.
Perfect.
See you in 30 seconds.
Nice floor.
That's not easy.
Nope.
So a kidnapping for 7 to 1 O days.
housing. food.
- Yes.
- No torture.
abusive use of force or mutilation.
That's very important to us.
Have a photo?
We're talking?
1 8.547.
That's expensive.
No offense. I feel like
you're taking advantage of me.
Don't insult me.
It's expensive
because it's harder to not hurt him.
It's 300/o more.
And there's food. My hostages eat
like in a 5-star hotel.
I have all fresh. organic food.
all you can eat.
If I can't pay that. is there...
a 2-star package?
Unfortunately. no.
Come on. you can do better.
8 x 8.
64.
No less. My best price.
1 3.254.
How did you get that figure?
What's the calculation?
My operation fees.
I'm not the cheapest.
But I won't screw up.
You'II sleep at night.
Give me a price
and I'II make a recommendation.
Here's the regulars' price.
I hardly do this.
You have 2 seconds to decide.
There's a proposal! Sold.
How do we do it? Do you take
company checks?
What do you think?
You're so organized. I thought...
Here's my account number.
If there's no money
at 1 1 tomorrow. we're done.
I'II call you when it's done.
Tony.
I thought the fit for Fran?ois...
The car. it's not enough.
I had an idea.
- More?
- Yes.
Rehab his house.
- Just the outside?
- The whole thing. in and out.
That house is shit.
Exactly. Tony. because it's shit.
Boom. shit!
No more shit!
You have one week.
- I've got architect plans.
- Plans?
Yes.
It's not enough time.
What? Tony. you're joking.
And last year?
You built a bunker
in 6 days
with walls like a prison.
It was different.
It was an emergency.
Wasn't Francois saving me serious?
It's not what?
Give me a week.
I'II do the work.
There you go.
I knew it.
Listen.
Tonight we dine and relax.
Tomorrow.
you go to the travel agency.
To buy 2 tickets.
Talk to Julio.
2 tickets to Mexico. First class.
For Francois and his wife.
They're going to Mexico.
To my villa.
Listen. Gilles. we called
because we changed our mind.
The truth
is... Saucibec made an offer
we can't refuse.
It's not about money.
We never wanted to ruin
Saucibec's image.
Well its' money. too.
How much?
50 and a _30.OOO car.
When you think about it.
3 things control everything in life.
Power. sex.
and money.
But really one thing controls it all.
Money.
With money you bed who you want
and you have power.
You. Fran?ois. are proof of that.
You personify the pathetic people
who won't let the world change.
But Gilles.
don't take it personally.
You're fighting a sausage giant.
It's David vs. Goliath.
Gilles. before you rip up that check.
think hard.
I have an offer for 50.OOO
plus a car.
What will you give me
if I refuse?
So I move my ass and run
to the press?
Your offer should be impressive.
See what I'm saying?
Sonia. I can't feel my hand.
can you let go?
I can't. I'm overexcited!
1 50.OOO dollars!
I'm so excited!
It's not over.
We won't turn that down.
OK. Listen close.
You'II tell Saucibec
we have a check for 1 50.OOO dollars!
We can negotiate up to.
say. 1 25.OOO.
Come on. 1 35.OOO.
So excited!
I know you're lying.
You moved your eyebrow.
You don't know me.
That's when I tell the truth.
They say: ''No news is good news.''
No worries. We've got a pro.
You're negative.
Why do I associate
with someone like you?
Opposites attract.
Slaves' work!
And you're racist.
No. my mom said that.
- Do you prefer shit work?
- Yes. I do.
Hello?
Florence? Uh...
Florence is in the bathroom.
she'II call back.
Shit!
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again. I promise.
You said that last week.
Can you do me a favor?
I told your mom
you were in the bathroom.
Hello?
It hung up.
What?
I heard: ''It's done''
and it hung up.
Must be a wrong number.
Let's go.
To apologize I want you to make
filet mignon.
If you want.
I'm your chef tonight.
I also want
a chocolate banana split.
You won't sleep.
- That's your problem.
- You're right.
You'II be here a while.
We'II try to keep some hygiene.
I doubt you have a change of clothes.
I'II remove the gag.
but if you yell. it's the cold room.
I warn you. it's boring.
Or else you can watch TV.
I have cable.
How's this?
On the menu tonight?
Vegetarian lasagne.
Just raw vegetables.
And no pasta.
It's fine layers of zucchini.
How do you like the ricotta cheese?
It's not ricotta.
It's macadamia nuts
you ground up
with lemon juice.
Gills is no idiot.
And yet here I am.
I try to cook raw organic food.
It's a new thing.
I have digestive issues.
Maybe it's age.
I get gassy when I eat.
It's not that your digestive
issues aren't fascinating.
but I don't give a shit.
Give me my checkbook.
I'II give you 1 O times
what Saucibec paid.
1 5!
20!
25!
A check for 1 50.OOO?
He's crazier than I thought.
I imagine you want more.
No.
We're open to negotiation.
Listen. Philippe.
we're putting the cards on the table.
We showed up
1 O minutes after Gilles left.
I thought it was you. No.
It was an attorney specialized
in sausage.
I asked him his name.
but he said nothing.
But he doesn't like Saucibec either.
Basically. he said
with our file
he could get
250.OOO or 300.OOO. easy.
And he's really motivated.
He covers all the lawsuit fees.
When he said that we were surprised.
Yes. Well. I was surprised.
Yes. and we thought:
''What do we do with this?''
You said:
''What do we do with this?''
And we thought.
courts. attorneys. all that?
forget it..
And Gilles...
We forget him.
200.OOO dollars
and we never speak again.
We'II see you in court.
What did you do?
Impossible.
Our plan was fool-proof.
You're such an idiot.
To buy back your mistake...
Call Gilles and ask for a new check.
- Am I clear?
- Yes. honey.
You're the worst liar I know.
Hello. it's Gilles Langevin.
Leave a message.
Hey. Gilles. it's Francois.
Listen. I put my jeans
in the washer
and the check was in the pocket?
Could you bring me another?
Same amount.
No change.
See you. Bye.
He'II call back.
We're dealing with
a compulsive liar.
Now he says there's a lawyer
working for the competition.
I give up. You handle it. I'm done.
Are you joking.
I think I know who it is.
What?
2 days ago. Michel. from Lauridel.
called my office.
What did you say?
He wanted to know?
He didn't get the sausages
and wanted to know if
we got them.
I said ''No''.
Give me that.
But I said: ''Don't worry.
we're handling it.''
No?
I didn't now he would figure
it was us.
I'm sure it's Michel.
Of course. He's a lawyer.
We've taken his market share
for years.
He wants us to fail.
I feel like we're digging our grave.
If we kidnapped one more
we could get a deal.
Call your guy.
- Boss?
- Don't panic.
Keep watching TV.
I just went to deliver
my gift.
Hey! Important:
Don't tell Loretta.
OK.
Get me in 20 min at Francois'
house. Call when you're here.
Great. Yes. Yes.
OK.
Hello. It's Gilles Langevin.
Leave me a message.
Gilles...
I've left you 6 messages.
I'm disappointed.
I don't know what you're up to.
But I'm disappointed.
Honey?
Saucibec gave in!
My strategy worked.
What's this?
Probably the car they promised.
The 200.OOO are coming.
If they believed you.
they're really dumb.
Call Saucibec right away
and say we'II take their offer.
Don't worry.
I know what I'm doing.
He's waking up.
Hi...
I'm Gilles.
Were you the bassist in Kiss?
I'II remove the Scotch.
If you yell.
I'II lock you up the cold room.
Believe me. he'II do it.
Understand?
I'm looking at you?
You look like the Godfather.
What's his name?
Passimo?
Passimi?
Do you want the Scotch back?
Yeah?
I know I fucked up at the restaurant.
What do you want?
If you're interested in Massino.
I can deliver him alive. tonight.
to make it up.
Are you kidding?
Sorry again.
Listen. Jimmy.
The last time I wasn't clear.
So I'II repeat it one last time.
You're an incompetent.
has-been hit man.
I don't work with losers.
If you call again
I'II put a prize on your head.
Am I clear?
No answer.
I don't see him.
There's no problem.
He's in the bathroom.
He takes his time.
Isn't it quiet for people
who just got a car?
- OK. I'II look.
- No. no.
Don't move.
I see.
Who's that?
The brains of the operation.
The guy gave him a check.
You're hurting my hand.
I know. I can't stop.
I have a check for 200.OOO dollars!
- Where'd he go?
- I'm calling the cops.
What will you tell them?
We just blackmailed a guy
and he was kidnapped?
If you want to go to jail.
that's a solid story.
What do we do?
AII we do is manage
crises between beige walls.
You're right. We'II repaint.
- Yes?
- They took Philippe.
- Who's this?
- Francois. with the tooth.
Who took him?
A guy got out of a car
with a machine gun and took him.
''Machine gun''?
Philippe was kidnapped.
- What did the guy look like?
- Mad.
I didn't now what to do.
I called you first.
Not the cops.
Francois. shut up.
And disappear.
Yes. perfect. Great idea.
Good luck. guys.
and thanks again for the check.
Bye.
We did what we had to.
Now it's their problem.
We went too far.
Lauridel's revenge.
They know we kidnapped Michel.
I told you!
I knew these kidnappings
would end bad.
OK. What do we do?
Conrad!
Conrad!
- I'm thinking!
- We've got 2 choices:
We call Lauridel or wait for them.
Let me think!
Let me think!
Who do you work for?
Saucibec.
You're kidding.
Who's your boss?
I'm Richard's and Conrad's partner
at Saucibec.
Shit!
It's true. He's VP at Saucibec.
What's this?
A cover to launder money?
Calm down. it's a misunderstanding.
I know Lauridel hired you.
Right?
''Lauridel''?
What's Lauridel?
Lauridel is another sausage
and hot dog company.
Do we have a contact there?
I don't think so.
Maybe Michel?
Who's he?
I don't know.
I've had enough.
Who's your guy?
My guy... Shit!
It's Philippe.
Yes. Philippe?
Listen to me.
Who's this?
Doesn't matter.
No time for that.
I bring your guy
and you bring the godfather.
Got it?
I don't know what this is.
but the Italian mafioso accent
doesn't work on me.
Can you repeat that?
You heard me.
You're not talking to Lauridel.
- What?
- It's not Lauridel.
This isn't Lauridel.
Wait. I have to listen
to my remaining partner.
You must have
an agreement with him.
What's funny?
Nothing.
You realize we kidnapped
the mafia godfather?
Stop laughing.
I can't.
Please. stop. This is serious.
OK.
If it's true.
the kidnapper we hired
should have told us!
Hope it's not that. stop laughing.
OK. Settled.
When and where?
What are you doing?
It's my grandpa's 1 2.
It fed 3 generations.
It still works.
- Are we doing that?
- This is serious.
We kidnapped Quebec's
most dangerous mobster.
It might go bad.
I'm not taking the risk.
- How's this?
- OK.
Ah. here?
You can finish the job you started.
You want to know who hired me
to kill you?
You want to settle scores
and clean house?
You know where I am.
That's nice.
My hands are tied.
Why fuck with sausage makers?
Huh?
Why take sausage
and hot dog sellers?
Is sausages and hot dogs a code?
Don't play naive.
Unbelievable!
There's no taxes
on selling drugs!
Did we just mess with you?
Who are you?
Co-CEO of Saucibec.
You're joking.
The door!
Have you killed people here?
Tons! Many. many?
What are we doing?
What?
Raise your left arm
and my man raises his.
Lower your left arm
and my man frees your guy.
And you let me go. It's over.
Don't mess with me or you'II pay.
What are they doing?
Let's not talk about
the sausage. OK?
Eh?
What are they doing?
Oh. no.
- Let's kill them.
- No. no!
What. no?
No shots.
It's just a gang of hot dog eaters.
- OK. quick. go!
- OK. Let's go.
He's alive!
He was playing dead.
Don't move.
You're lucky.
It didn't hit the bone.
Richard. why did you shoot at him?
You shot?
Idiot!
You're no better.
you gave him a pistol.
At least you didn't aim at my head!
He's too clumsy!
What's funny?
We're all in the middle of nowhere.
still fighting.
I might lose my leg
and you're laughing!
3 losers!
Guys?
I couldn't tell you before.
but I have to say something.
The tooth?
was m i ne.
- Why's he protecting Gilles?
- They must have a deal.
No. I put the tooth
in the machine.
If it's a plan to bring Gilles back.
it's not working.
No. it's true.
Philippe. relax.
or you'II freak out.
- Watch your leg.
- Leave me alone.
You see that?
It's an artificial tooth.
Where's my real tooth?
Francois' sausage.
- This is crazy. Philippe.
- It's a fake tooth!
Shit!
Hello?
Just a minute?
It's the kidnapper.
What do we do with Gilles?
Put him on.
Yes. this is Conrad.
Listen?
What if you keep him longer?
He's calculating.
Oh yeah? Oh?
What's your name? Jimmy?
Jimmy. for that price
we'II take another week.
Thank you!
Take good care of him!
That'II teach him!
If we want to work together.
we should tell the truth.
That's true.
I'm telling you. I put it in.
You're already lying!
Hey. guys?
Screw you!
Tell Mr. Massino
it was our best vacation.
Yeah. really.
The villa was great.
- So chic.
- The floral arrangements...
So well-maintained?
The cook is great.
- Very talented.
- Pedro.
- We went diving.
- I swam with dolphins!
His dream!
- We met a turtle.
- We brought it back.
We loved it.
- Everything...
- The sea scooter.
It was great.
But?
AII this is probably not free?
You want something in return.
Like taking drugs to the US
and if we don't...
it's over. right?
Or you hid a suitcase of cash
in the house
and one day someone will get it?
Huh?
That's it?
Francois. Iook!
Oh. my God!
It can't be.
- Look!
- Incredible!
- Look!
- They did the windows!
The windows!
It's crazy! Look!
The car! The car!
We have two cars!
I don't know what to say.
It's?
Someone will call you in 2 days.
He'II give you instructions.
Really?
No. it's a joke!
- Have fun. man.
- Yes.
Thanks!
Can I help you?
Maybe. Who are you?
Who are you?
Gilles Langevin.
ex partner. Saucibec.
No more damn sausages!
You're sick of sausage?
There's a tub in the bedroom
and a minibar!
There's a cellar
with 1 OO bottles of wine!
A home theater!
Mom told me Saucibec
was involved
with the mafia.
- Never heard of it.
- Liar.
- No.
- Swear.
- No.
- Swear!
- I don't have to.
- You met criminals!
Shh!
- OK. Mom's right.
- Is there more?
Lots. honey.
but give it time.
Subtitling: Eclair Group