Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) - full transcript

(FAMILY GRUMBLING)

Mother,

can I just take the
bikini to Florida?

Nobody can order Pizza
in this house.

Where are my golf balls?

All right. Has anyone
seen my sun block?

What's the point of going to Florida
if you're gonna put on sun block?

I don't care if I age like an old
suitcase. I'm getting toasted.

Great. Now you can be a skag
with a slightly darker shade of skin.

He's jealous because he can't tan.
His freckles just connect.

Hey, hey, easy on the fluids, pal!
The rubber sheets are packed.



Vicky says she wants
to go with "Ding."

HOST: Behind "Ding" is 200 points!

All right! Good for you.

And now that gives
you 4700 points.

HOST ON RECORDER: 200 points! All right!

Honey, are you packed yet?

Yes.

Yes.

Everything I put out for you?

Yes.

Yes.

Did you see what Grandma
Penelope sent you for the trip?

Let me guess.
Donald Duck slippers?

Close.



An inflatable clown to
play with in the pool.

How exciting.

Why would we have to go to Florida?
There's no Christmas trees in Florida.

Kevin, what is it with you
and Christmas trees?

How could you have Christmas
without a Christmas tree, Mom?

We'll find a nice fake silver one.
Or decorate a palm tree.

ANNOUNCER: Guests of the new celebrity
Ding, Dang, Dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel.

New York's most exciting
hotel experience.

For reservations, call
toll-free, 1-800-759...

Honey, do you know where the battery for
this camcorder is? Yeah, I put it in the charger.

How's this?
Oh, much better.

Kevin, you'd better go put your tie on. We
don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.

My tie is in the bathroom. I can't go in there.
Because Uncle Frank is taking a shower.

He says if I walked in there and saw him naked,
I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

Whatever that means.

I'm sure he was kidding. Just
run in there and get your tie,

get out, and don't look
at anything.

Well

This cat they're talking about
I wonder who could it be

'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat

The heaviest cat you ever did see

When they see me
Walking down the street

None of the fellas want to speak
Hey, hey

On their faces they wear a silly smirk
'Cause they know I'm the king

Of the cool jerks

Get out of here, you nosy little
pervert or I'll slap you silly!

Oh, you're cooking, Frankie.

CHOIR: Christmas tree
My Christmas tree

Lit up like a star

When I see My Christmas tree

Can loved ones be far

Christmas tree I'm certain

Wherever I roam

Kevin's solo's coming up.
Tell Leslie.

Kevin's solo's coming up.

Tell Frank.

Okay. Frank.

Frank!

Christmastime means laughter

Toboggans in the snow

Caroling together

With faces aglow

Stockings on the mantel

A wreath on the door

And my merriest Christmas

Needs just one thing more

Christmas tree

My Christmas tree

(SCREAMING)

(SHOUTS)

Kevin!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

I'd like to apologize to my family
for whatever displeasure

I might have caused you.
What?

My prank was immature
and ill-timed.

Immature not, it was
pretty darn hilarious.

And also I'd like to
apologize to my brother.

Kevin.

I'm sorry.

KATE: Oh, Buzz,

that was very nice.

(CLAPPING)

Kevin, do you have
something to say?

Beat that, you trout-sniffer.

I'm not sorry. I did what I did
because Buzz humiliated me.

And since he gets away with
everything, I let him have it.

And since you are so
stupid to believe his lies,

I don't care if your idiotic
Florida trip gets wrecked tonight.

Who wants to spend Christmas
in a tropical climate anyway?

Kevin!

You walk out of here, you
sleep on the 3rd floor.

Yeah, with me.

So, what else is new?

You'd better no wreck my trip, you little sourpus.
Your dad's paying good money for it.

Wouldn't want to spoil your
fun, Mr. Cheapskate.

What a troubled young man.

They're all a bunch of jerks.

Hi.

Here, Kevin, last time we tried to take a trip,
we had a problem that started just like this.

Yeah, with me getting crapped on.

I don't care for your choice of words.
That's not what happened last time.

That's not what happening this
time. Buzz apologized to you.

Yeah, then he called
me a trout-sniffer.

He didn't mean what he said.
He was just sucking up to you.

Okay, why don't you just sit up here
for a while and think things over?

When you're ready to apologize to Buzz and
to the rest of the family, you can come down.

I'm not apologizing to Buzz.
I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!

Then you can stay up
here the rest of the night.

Fine, I don't wanna be down there anyway!
I can't trust anybody in this family.

You know what? If I had my own
money, I'd go on my own vacation.

Alone, without any of you guys. And
I'd have the most fun of my whole life.

Well, you got your wish last year.
Maybe you will get it this year.

I hope so.

(STATUE CLANKS)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

We did it again!

(SCREAMING)

(CLAMORING)

Ok, our McCallisters in the first van.
Other McCallisters in the second van.

I know I shouldn't complain about a free trip,
but you guys give the worst wake-up calls.

Frank, do you have the tickets? I've got them.
Here's your family's. I got my family's.

How many do you have?
Seven.

seven. 14!

7

8

9, 10. How come we're
not sitting together?

This time of year, we're lucky to
get on the same plane. 11, 12, 13.

Where's Kevin?

14.

It's good thing I have my own ticket,
just in case you guys try to ditch me.

Dad, I need batteries.

Well, I got some batteries in my bag.
I'll give them to you on the plane.

Here's two more.
Why can't I get them now?

Not now, Kevin! What's
the gate number?

H-17, sir.

Hey, you'd better hurry, it's the last gate
all the way down. Dad, what gate is it?

H-17, Buzz. Come on.

Kevin, you gonna take
my bag? Take my bag.

Come on. Come on.

ANNOUNCER: American Airlines
flight 226 to New York is now

in the final boarding process.

Come on!

Dad, wait up!

Dad, wait up!

Wait up!

Wait!

KATE: Come on, come on!

KEVIN: Dad, wait!

Here we are! Here!

LESLIE: We made it.

Everybody here?
We made it? All right.

Please ma'am, you have to board.
The plane is ready to leave.

Let me just make sure
everybody gets on. Come on.

Don't worry, ma'am. We'll
get everyone on the palne.

Merry Christmas. Have a nice flight.

MEGAN: Bye.
Bye-bye.

Hey, wait up!

Hey, guys, wait for me!

Cutting it kind of close.
Yes, all right.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

Dad, wait up!

Wait!

I'm sorry. That's all right.
Are you on this flight?

Yeah, so is my family. They're on the
plane. I don't wanna be left behind.

Do you have a boarding pass?
It's somewhere...

We have to close up here.
They're ready to go.

He dropped his boarding pass.

This plane can't leave. This happened to me
last year and almost wrecked my Christmas.

Are you sure your family
is on this flight?

Yeah, my dad ran in here right
before I bumped into this lady.

Okay, board him. But make sure he
locates his family before you leave him.

Okay. Come on.

Do you see your family?

There's my dad over there.

Okay, go find an empty seat.
Have a merry Christmas. You too.

Ladies and gentlemen, in order for the
Captain to push back from the gate,

we need all passengers to be seated
with their seat belts truly fastened.

So have you ever been to Florida?

(SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORDER)

Welcome aboard American Airlines
flight 176 non-stop to New York.

PETER: I didn 't think we're gonna make it.

Something wrong?

Honey?

I have that feeling.

We forgot something?

No, I don't think we did,
but I just have that feeling.

Bad memories, that's all.

We did everything. We brought
everything. We have everybody.

There's nothing to worry about.

Yeah, you're right.
You're right. We're fine.

Nothing to worry about.

Mom?

Dad?

Uncle Frank?

Buzz?

We're the last ones off the plane.

Where are those guys?

Whose is this? It's Brooke's.
Is this Megan?

Give this to Brooke,
Give this to Kevin.

Give this to Kevin.
Give this to Kevin.

Give this to Kevin.

Kevin.
Give this to Kevin.

Give this to Kevin.
Give this to Kevin.

Give this to Kevin.

Here you go, Kevin.

Kevin's not here.
Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.
Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.
Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.
Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

Kevin's not here.

What!

Kevin!

(GASPS)

Excuse me, but this
is an emergency!

Yes, sir?

What city is that over there?

That's New York, sir.

Yikes, I did it again!

Something wrong, sir?

I'll be fine.

No. My family's in Florida
and I'm in New York.

My family's in Florida?

I'm in

New York?

Wow.

What's the child's name?

Kevin.
K-E-V-l-N.

When did you see him last?

Curbside check-in?

No, I saw him at the door.
He was with us in the terminal.

Most people get separated at security check
points. Did everyone get through security?

I don't know. Peter...

We were going in a hurry. We
had to run all the way to the gate.

When did you notice
he was missing?

When we picked up
our baggage here.

Has the boy ever run
away from home? No.

Has he ever been in a situation
where he's been on his own?

As a matter of fact, this
has happened before.

It's becoming sort of a
McCallister family travel tradition.

Funnily enough, we
never lose our luggage.

(KNOCKING)

He was left at home,
by accident, last year.

That's what my wife meant when she said it's
becoming a McCallister family travel tradition.

We'll call Chicago and

notify them of the situation.

Yet the odds are
that's where he is.

Thanks.

Very unlikely he'd be
anywhere else.

(HORN HONKS)

Watch out, kid!

You, where's your manifest?

Here we are, Marv,
New York City.

The land of opportunity.

Smell that?

Yeah.

Know what that is?

Fish.
It's freedom.

No, it's fish.

It's freedom and it's money.
Okay, okay.

It's freedom.

Come on, let's get out of here
before somebody sees us.

And it's fish.

Yep, one quick score.

We get ourselves a couple
of phony passports

and we hightail it to
some foreign country.

Arizona?

That's very smart, Marv.

You bust out of jail to rob 14
cents from a Santy Claus?

Every little bit helps.

Besides, now we got
our new nickname.

We're the Sticky Bandits!

Real cute.

Very cute.

"The Plaza Hotel. New York's
most exciting hotel experience."

Sick!

What's the matter?

Thought I saw something.

(SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

Serves you right!
Come on, let's go.

I think she likes me.

Excuse me, where's the lobby?

Down the hall and
to the left. Thanks.

Wow.

ANNOUNCER ON RECORDER:
Guests of the new Celebrity Ding-Dang-Dong

stay at the world-renowned
Plaza Hotel:

New York's most exciting hotel experience.

For reservations, call toll-free

1-800-759-3000.

I'll do just that.

Howdy-do. This is Peter
McCallister, the father.

I'd like a hotel room, please.

With an extra-large bed, a TV

and one of those little refrigerators
you have to open with a key.

Credit card? You got it.

Plaza Reservations,
may I help you?

KEVIN ON RECORDER IN SLOW SPEED:
Howdy-do. This is Peter McCallister.

The father.

Yes, sir.
I'd like a hotel room, please.

Yes. With an extra-large
bed, a TV

and one of those little refrigerators
you have to open with a key.

Yes, sir. You'll need a major
credit card upon check-in.

Credit card? You got it.

Thank you. Enjoy your stay.

CONCIERGE: Yes, 2 at 8, Henri.

Mr. Yamamoto.

Hold on a second.

I'll call you back, Henri.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Reservation for McCallister.

A reservation for yourself?

Ma'am, my feet are hardly touching the ground.
I'm barely able to see over the counter.

How can I make a reservation
for a hotel room?

Think about it: A kid going into
a hotel making a reservation?

I don't think so.

I'm confused.

I'm traveling with my dad.
He's on business. He's at a meeting.

I hate meetings. Plus I'm not allowed
to go in. I can only sit in the lobby.

That's boring.

So my dad dropped me off here.

He gave me his credit card and said
whoever was checking people in to

let me know the hotel room
so I won't get into mischief.

Ma'am, sometimes
I do get into mischief.

We all do.

Merry Christmas.

No sign of him.

We're gonna have to be able to get hold
of you. You have hotel arrangements?

Yeah. Do you have a
recent photo of the boy?

I have one in my wallet.

I don't have my wallet.

My wallet's in my bag.

Kevin was looking in my bag at the airport.
He was looking for batteries. Kevin has my wallet.

Did you have credit cards in the
wallet? Credit cards, money...

We'll notify the credit card
companies immediately.

If your son has the cards, we can get a
location on him when and if he uses them.

No, I don't think Kevin even
knows how to use a credit card.

Wow! It worked!

Cedric. Yes?

Don't count your tips in public.
I'm sorry.

And find out everything you
can about that young fellow.

Front, please!

Enjoy your stay with us.

And don't forget to remind your
dad when he arrives that

he must come down and
sign a couple of things.

Thank you, you've been most
helpful. May I take your bags?

Up here to your left.

You know, Herbert Hoover
once stayed on this floor.

The vacuum guy?

No, the president.

This is one of our
finest suites, sir.

This is great!

Wow! A huge bed just for me!

Luxurious and spacious.

How convenient.

Hey.

Did you want me to put the key in the bag?
Or did you just want to hang on to it?

I'll hang on to it.

Is everything all right, sir?

Is the temperature in
the room okay? It's okay.

Do you know how the TV works?
I'm 10 years old. TV is my life.

Well...

I'm sorry.

And there's plenty more
where that came from.

Thank you.

Would it bother anyone if I
worked on my cannonballs?

No.

Thanks.

Yikes!

This is a vacation.

Hold it right there!

It's me, Johnny.

I knew it was you.

I could smell you getting
off the elevator.

2 scoops, sir? Two?
Make it 3, I'm not driving.

DAME: Gardenias, Johnny,
your favorite.

You was here last night too,
wasn 't you?

I was singing at the Blue
Monkey last night.

She was not. She was
smooching with your brother.

You was here and you was
smooching with my brother.

DAME: That's a dirty rotten
lie, Johny. See?

Don't give me that. You've been
smooching with everybody!

Snuffy, Al, Leo...

Little Moe with the gimpy leg,
Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...

I could go on forever, baby.

You got me all wrong!

JOHNNY: All right.

I believe you.

But my Tommy gun don 't!

Johnny!

You're the only duck
in my pond!

Get down on your knees
and tell me you love me.

Baby! I'm over the
moon for you!

You gotta do better than that!

If my love was an ocean, Lindy'd have
to take two airplanes to get across it.

Maybe I'm off my hinges,
but I believe you.

That's why I'm gonna let you go.

I'm gonna give you till the
count of 3 to get your lousy...

...lying...

...lowdown, four-flushing
carcass out my door!

She's rat bait.

One!

Two!

Three!

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

And a Happy New Year.

Housekeeping.

FRANK OVER RECORDER: We know a
guy who can really do the cool jerk

We know a guy who can
really do the cool jerk

Well, this cat they're talking about

I wonder who could it be

'Cause I know I'm
the heaviest cat

The heaviest cat
you ever did see

Women see me
Walking down the street

None of the fellas want
to speak Hey.

On their faces they wear a
silly smirk 'Cause they know

I'm the king of the cool jerks

Get out of here, you nosy little
pervert or I'm gonna slap you silly!

You're cooking, Frankie.

Oh!

Didn't look this bad
on our honeymoon.

Hey, Uncle Rob lives here.

If they're back from Paris,
I'll drop in on them.

They usually give pretty
good presents.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Kevin.

Your drawers, sir.

Jeez! Don't flash these babies around
here! There could be girls on this floor!

I was very careful, sir.

You can't be too careful
when it involves underwear.

I understand.

I'm sorry. You wanted a tip.

That won't be necessary, sir.
I still have some tip left over.

No tip?

Okay.

No, no, wait, wait!

The doorman will be
happy to find you a taxi...

Mr. McCallister.

Excuse me.

Sure.

And how are we this morning?

Fine. Is my transportation here?
Out in front, sir.

A limousine and a pizza.

Compliments of the Plaza Hotel.

I do hope your father
understands that last night

I was simply checking the room to
make sure that everything was in order.

He was pretty mad.

He was?

He said he didn't come all the way to
New York to get his naked rear spied on.

Of course not.

Will he be down soon?

He already left.

I would've liked to have
offered my personal apology.

If some guy looked at you in the shower,
would you ever want to see him again?

I suppose not.

I don't think you'll see him
for the rest of our trip.

I understand.

Bye.

Have a lovely day.

McCallister...

Good morning, Mr. McCallister.
Morning.

Mr. McCallister, here's
your very own

cheese pizza.

Hello?
Hello.

Know any good toy stores?

Yes, sir.

Bingo!

Get outta here! Go on, get
outta here! Get outta here!

Beat it! Beat it!
Get outta here!

Hey, Marv! Get over here!
I gotta talk to you!

Would you like a scarf? You wanna
forget about scarf, Marv? We gotta talk.

We don't have the equipment to pull off
anything big. You know, banks, jewelry stores...

We don't want goods. We
need cash and we need it now.

How about

hotels?

Tourists carry lots of cash.

There's no guarantees. I got a better idea.
Stores ain't gonna deposit cash on Christmas Eve.

The only stores that are gonna have cash on
hand are the ones dealing in moderate priced goods.

Right. Right.

Ergo, what store's gonna make
the most cash on Christmas Eve

that nobody's gonna
think to rob?

Candy stores.

9-year-olds rob
candy stores, Marv.

This is what I had in mind.

That's brilliant, Harry! Brilliant!

Yep. There's nobody's dumb enough to
knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.

Oh, yes, there is.

Here we are, sir:
Duncan's Toy Chest.

Merry Christmas, Kevin.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

(TOY CLICKING)

This is the greatest
accident of my life.

Marv. Marv!

Hey, nice house. But
there's no bathroom in it.

All right. So, what's the plan?

Everybody leaves for a nice holiday
off. We come out of our little houses.

Yeah, then what?

We empty the registers and
walk out like we own the joint.

Great plan, Harry!

MR. DUNCAN: Well now, thank you
and Merry Christmas.

Say hello to the family.

Let me see.

You shopping alone?

In New York?

Sir, I'm afraid of my own shadow.

Well, I was just checking.
That's very responsible of you.

Oh, well, thank you.

My pleasure.

That'll be $23.75.

My. Where did you
get all that money?

I have a lot of grandmothers.

Well, that explains it.

This is a really nice store. One of the finer
toy dealerships I've ever visited in my life.

Oh, thank you.

This Mr. Duncan must
be a pretty nice guy,

letting all kids come into his
store and play with all his toys.

Most toy stores prohibit
that, you know.

Oh, is that so?
Yep.

Well, he loves kids.

As a matter of fact, all the
money the store takes in today

Mr. Duncan is donating to
the Children's Hospital.

And the day after Christmas,

we empty out all the
money in the cash register

and Mr. Duncan just takes
it right down to the hospital.

That's generous of him.

Well, children bring
him a lot of joy

as they do to everyone
who appreciates them.

I'm not supposed to spend this money, but I have
$20 from shoveling snow in a jar in our garage

where my older brother can't find it.
So I can my mother back of that.

So you can give this to Mr. Duncan.
The hospital needs it more than I do.

Besides, I'm probably gonna spend it
on stuff that will rot my teeth and mind.

That's very sweet of you.

You see that tree there?

Well, to show our appreciation
for your generosity,

I'm gonna let you select
an object from that tree

that you take home with you.
For free?

May I make a suggestion?
Okay.

Take the turtledoves.

I could have two?

Well, "two turtledoves."
And I tell you what you do.

You keep one

and give the other one
to a very special person.

You see, turtledoves

are a symbol of friendship and love.

Now, as long as each of
you have your turtledove,

you'll be friends forever.

Wow, I never knew that. I thought
they were just part of a song.

They are. And for that
very special reason.

Wow.

Thanks.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you too.

Me sure to bundle up if you
go outside. It's a little nippy.

Oh. I'll do that.

Well, where to?

Well, you promised you'd take
me to the Central Park Zoo.

Hey, look who it is, Marv.

Come on, let's get him.

HARRY: Hi, pal.

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

Come on.

Hey!

Hey, watch it!

(GLASS BREAKS)

Buy now and avoid the Christmas
rush. Two for $5. Two for $5.

Four for 10. All right.

There he is!

All right.

Thanks.
Merry Christmas, dude.

Yes!

Thank you for your suggestion.
CONCIERGE: My duty. My pleasure.

You gotta help me!
There's two guys after me!

What's the matter?
Store wouldn't take your

stolen credit card?

Let's see what the police
have to say about this.

Get up! Get up!

Come on! Let's go get him.

Get back here, you little thief!

Stop that child!

Grab him!

(GROANING)

You little sh...

I've committed credit card fraud.

CONCIERGE: Get me security!

We've got to stop
that delinquent!

Come along, Cedric!

I've had enough of this
vacation. I'm going home.

Hold it right there!

This is the Concierge, sir!

I knew it was you.

I could smell you getting
off the elevator.

JOHNNY: You was here last
night too, wasn't you?

Yes, sir.

I was.

You was here and you was
smooching with my brother.

Bu...

I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.

Don't give me that. You've
been smooching with everybody.

Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe
with the gimpy leg...

...Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...

No!

It's a lie!

I could go on forever, baby.

I'm terribly sorry, sir. But

I'm afraid you're mistaken.

We're looking for a young man.

All right, I believe you...

...but my Tommy gun don't.

(GASPS)

Get down on your knees
and tell me you love me.

On your knees.

I love you!

You gotta do better than that!

I love you!

Maybe I'm off my hinges

but I believe you.

That's why I'm gonna
let you go.

I'm gonna give you till the
count of 3 to get your lousy...

...lying, low-down,

four-flushing carcass out my door!

One!
Open the door!

Two!

(GUNFIRE ON TV)

Three.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

And a happy new year.

Stay in your rooms!
This is an emergency!

There's an insane
guest with a gun!

No!

Come to Papa!

Round trip to Miami. What's the
matter, get on the wrong plane, squirt?

Looks like you won't
be needing this, kid.

We spent 9 months in jail thinking
we had the worst luck in the universe.

We were wrong, little buddy.

We busted out of the clink and we're doing
fine. We're gonna be doing even better

Because we're not robbing houses
anymore. Now we're robbing toy stores.

At midnight tonight, we're
hitting Duncan's Toy Chest.

5 floors of cash.

Then after that, we grab a couple of
phony passports and go off to Rio...Marv!

You wanna shut up? What's the difference?
He's not gonna talk to anybody.

Except maybe a fish.

Or the undertaker.

Let's just get to the subway tunnel.
I'll feel a lot better once I get him on ice.

I've got a gun in my pocket.

You open your mouth and you'll be
spitting gum out through your forehead.

Well, hello.

He did it!

Did what?

Thanks!

Get him, will ya.
He went in the park.

What are you doing?

(KIDS SHOUTING)

Over there!

Don't!
Give it!

Hey, Harry.

I got him.
Let me see!

That ain't him! Put him
down. That ain't him.

We should've shot him when we had the chance. I hate
pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.

What can he do? He's a kid.
Kids are helpless. Not this kid.

Yeah, but this time he doesn't have a house
full of dangerous goodies to get us with.

He's in the park. He's alone.
Kids are scared of the park.

Yeah. Grown men come in the
park and don't leave alive. Yeah.

Good luck, little fella.

I want to go home.

Mom, where are you?

(THUNDER BOOMS)

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

(PHONE RINGS)

Turn that down!

Hello?
Kate McCallister, please.

This is she. Ma'am,
we found your son.

Oh, my God!
What?

The police know where Kevin is.
What? Where?

He's in New York City.
He is in New York!

New York?

He checked into the Plaza
with your husband's credit card.

Why? I'm sure he's scared, he's
not a troublemaker. What?

Just a second. Please hold. He used your
credit card to check into the Plaza Hotel.

Do they still have him?
Do they have him?

No, the police is still
looking for him. Damn it!

Get to New York city, ma'am.
Ok, we're on the next flight out.

Thank you. We're going
to New York, move it!

Yes!

He ran away from the hotel when they questioned
him about the card. He must be so scared!

What if he know enough to go to my
brother's place? Aren't they in Paris?

Maybe they have a housesitter.
I thought you said they're renovating?

(KNOCKING)

Hello?!

Uncle Rob! Aunt Georgette!

Anybody home?!

Hello!

Anybody home?

It's me, your favorite
nephew, Kevin!

Uncle Rob!

Aunt Georgette!

(MUMBLES)

Watch it, kid!

(CACKLES)

Hey, you looking for someone
to read you a bedtime story?

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

Taxi!

Boy, It's scary out there.

Ain't much better in here, kid.

I don't want to ever take
a vacation like this again.

(WINGS FLAPPING)

Where did you all guys come from?

I don't know if I have
enough for everybody.

How hungry are you guys!

You guys ate all my food.

(SCREAMS)

Look, I'm sorry I screamed in your face.
You were just trying to help me, right?

I'm Kevin McCallister.

Your birds are real nice.

I've seen you before.

You had pigeons all over you.

At first, you look kind of scary but
when I think about it, it's not so bad.

They must be all over
you because they like you.

If I'm bothering you,
I can leave.

Am I bothering you?

No.

Good. I'm not a pain in the butt?

No.

Will those pigeons come back on their
own or do you have to call them?

Give me your hand.

(GRAIN SPILLING)

They can hear it.

This is great!

It's pretty cold out.

I could sure go for a cup of hot
chocolate. How about you?

My treat.

I'd hate to spend Christmas
Eve in central park.

Can we go some place warm?

LADY: Yes.

I know a place.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS)

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS "O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL")

Nice music.

This place is great.

I've heard the world's
great music from here.

Ella Fitzgerald. Count Masie.

Frank Sinatra.

Luciano Pavarotti.

So, do you bring your
friends up here?

I haven't got many friends.

Sorry.

I'm like the birds I care for.

People pass me in the street.
They see me but they try to ignore me.

They prefer I wasn't
part of their city.

Yeah. It's sort of like that with my family.
I'm kind of the pigeon of the house

just because I'm the youngest.

Everyone fights for position.

Everyone wants to be seen

and heard.

I guess so.

I'm seen and heard pretty much.
But then I get sent to my room a lot too.

I wasn't always like this,
you know.

What were you like before?

I had a job. I had a home.

I had a family.
Did you have any kids?

No.

I wanted them.

But the man I loved fell
out of love with me.

That broke my heart.

And whenever the chance to
be loved came along again,

I ran away from it.

I stopped trusting people.

No offense, but that seems like
sort of a dumb thing to do.

I was afraid of getting
my heart broken again.

You see, sometimes you
can trust a person

and then, when things are down,
they forget about you.

Maybe they're just too busy.

Maybe they don't forget about you,
but they forget to remember you.

I don't think people mean to forget.

I think it just happens.

My grandfather says if my head wasn't
screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.

I'm just afraid if I do trust someone,
I'll get my heart broken agian.

I understand that.

I used to have this really
nice pair of Rollerblades.

I was afraid if I wore
them, I'd wreck them,

so I kept them in a box.

And do you know what
happened? No.

I outgrew them. I never wore them once outside.
I just wore them in my room a couple of times.

A person's heart and a person's
feelings are very different than skates.

Well, they're kind of
the same thing.

If you aren't going to use your heart,
then what's the difference if it gets broken?

If you just keep it to yourself,
maybe it'll be like my Rollerblades.

When you do decide to try it,
it won't be any good.

You should take a chance.

Got nothing to lose.

A bit of truth in there somewhere.

I think so.

Your heart might still be
broken, but it isn't gone.

If it was gone, you
wouldn't be this nice.

Thank you.

Do you know it's been

a couple of years since
I've talked to anybody?

That's okay. You're
really good at it.

You're not boring. You don't
mumble or spit when you talk.

You should do it more often.

I think you just have to wear an outfit
that doesn't have pigeon poop on it.

I have been working very hard at
keeping people away, haven't I?

I always think I'll have
a lot of fun if I'm alone

but when I'm alone,
it's not much fun at all.

I don't care how much
people bug me sometimes,

I'd rather be with someone
than by myself.

So what are you doing runningg around
the streets on Christmas Eve on your own?

Did you get into trouble?

Yeah.

You've done something wrong?

A lot of things.

Did you know that a good
deed erases a bad deed?

It's kind of pretty late. I don't
know if I'll have enough time

to do enough good deeds to
erase all the bad ones I did.

Well, it's Christmas Eve. Good
deeds count for extra tonight.

They do?
Of course they do.

So what you must know is you must think of the
most important thing that you can do for others

and go and do it.

Just follow the star
in your own heart.

Okay.

It's getting pretty late.
I'd better get going.

If I don't see you, I hope
everything turns out okay.

Thank you.

Say goodbye to your birds for me.

I will.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

If you need somebody
to trust, it can be me.

I won't forget to remember you.

Don't make promises you can't keep.

All the money in the cash registers

Mr. Duncan is gonna donate
to the Children's Hospital.

At midnight tonight, we're
hitting Duncan's Toy Chest.

You can mess with a lot of things, but
you can't mess with kids on Christmas.

We'd like to offer you a complimentary
suite while you are here.

It's a penthouse with
a view of the park.

I think you'll find it satisfactory. It was recently
vacated by a countess of Worcestershire.

What kind of hotel allows
a child to check in alone?

The boy had a very convincing story.

What kind of idiots do you
have working here?

The finest in New York.

When even you discovered that
the credit card was stolen...

I made the discovery.

Why did you let him leave?

When we attempted to
confront him, he ran.

You scared him away!

It's Christmas Eve and because of you, our child
is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.

Could you take our family and our
luggage up to the room, please?

Yes, sir!

Run along, Cedric.

I'm going to answer the police station and make sure
they're doing everything on their patrol to find Kevin.

I want you to stay here with
Frank, Buzz, and the kids. No.

I'm going out to look for him.
What?

With all due respect, Madam, your son is
lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.

Could you stay out
of this, please?

As you wish.

Thank you. I don't think it's a good idea for you to start
running around all over New York City all by yourself.

I think if our son can
do it, I can do it.

Kate...
Peter, I'll be fine.

The way I'm feeling right now, no mugger
or murderer would dare mess with me.

Madam, there are hundreds of
parasites out there armed to the teeth!

Do bundle up. It's
awfully cold outside.

(CLOCK CHIMES)

Marv. Marv.

Come on, let's go.

Marv.

Crowbars up!

Merry Christmas, Harry!

Happy Hanukkah, Marv!

This is more money
than I can even count!

Makes you wonder why we spent
so much time robbing private homes.

The amazing thing is, we're
fugitives from the law.

We're up to our elbows in cash and
there's nobody that even knows about it.

(KNOCKS)

He's back!

He took our picture!

How did my hair look?

This is it. No turning back.

Another Christmas in the trenches.

No!

(ALARM BELL RINGS)

That's it! Get the money!

(MUMBLES)

Marv!
I'm coming, Harry!

(HARRY YELLS)

Harry?

(GROANS)

Harry!

That was incredible.

(MUMBLES)

I twisted my ankle on that board there.
Where is he?

Hey, guys! Smile!

Come on! Come on!

Help me.
I got you.

I got you.

Taxi!

Times Square!

Where'd he go?

I'm up here! Come and get me!

Let's kill!

Hold on, pea-brain.

We got busted last time because we
underestimated that little bundle of misery.

This ain't like the last time.

This ain't his house.
The kid's running scared.

He ain't got a plan.

May I do the thinking, please?

Thank you.

Sonny!

Yes?

Nothing would thrill me more
greatly than to shoot you.

Knocking off a youngster ain't
gonna mean all that much to me.

Understand?

But since we're in a hurry,
I'll make a deal with you.

You throw down your camera
and we won't hurt you.

You'll never hear from
us again. Okay?

You promise?

I cross my heart
and hope to die.

Okay!

Okay, kid,

give it to me.

Direct hit!

How many fingers am
I holding up, Marv?

8?

Okay, kid. You wanna throw bricks?
Go ahead, throw another one.

(YELPS)

If you can't do any better than
that, kid, you're going to lose.

Harry...

...no.

(YELPS)

You got any more?

Come on, Marv. Get up. He don't
have any more bricks. He's out of them.

(MUMBLES)

What?

What?

(MUMBLES)

What?

(YELPS)

That did it! Nobody throws bricks at me and
gets away with it. Come on, Marv. Get up.

You go this way.
I'll go around back.

Harry?

Harry?

Harry?

(SCREAMS)

(YELLS)

(GROWLS)

Harry!

I reached the top!

(YELLS)

(CRACKS NECK)

(MUMBLES)

(RATTLES DOORKNOB)

You better do better
than this, kid.

(WRENCH CONKS HARRY)

(CRACKS BACK)

Wow!

What a hole!

(SCREAMS)

(MUMBLES)

(SCREAMS)

(CHUCKLES)

(SCREAMS)

(GLASS BREAKS)

(SIZZLES)

(WHIMPERS)

Harry.

I'm coming up!

I'm gonna murder that kid!

(SNEEZES)

Yes!

(YELPS)

Hey!

Don't you know a kid always
wins against two idiots?

Harry! In the living room!

He went up the ladder!

(YELLS)

I'm coming, Harry.

I'm coming.

Harry!

Hey, you didn't lose any teeth! Come
on, he went to the second floor.

Hey!

Why don't you guys
try the stairs?

Right.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Don't you remember what
happened last year?

No.

Watch this.

Let's get him!

(STOMPS)

Ow!

He busted me right
in my mouth, Marv!

That's one.

Don't worry, Harry.

I'll get him.

(STOMPS)

Right in the schnoz.

That's two.

Come on, let's get him.

Oops.

(YELLING)

That's...

...three.

No.

(PIPE CRASHES)

MARV: That's four.

Come on, Harry. Marv, are
you sure this is safe? Yeah.

I've worked all the kinks out.

Solid as a rock.

(CRASHING)

Like a rock, Marv?

Hey, do you guys give up?

Have you had enough pain?
Never!

You better say every prayer
you ever heard before, kid!

I hope your parents got you
a tombstone for Christmas.

Where'd he go?

I'm up here and I'm
really scared.

What's that sound?

(CLATTERING)

(YELLING)

That was the sound
of a tool chest

falling down the stairs.

Oh.

(CRACKING NOSES)

Yes!

Over there!

I don't care if I get the
chair, I'm killing that kid!

Surrender, kid!

He vanished.

I'm down here, you
big horse's ass!

Nice night for a neck injury!

Suck brick, kid!

Come on, Marv.

I don't know.

I said, come on!

Come on, you big sissy.

(WHIMPERS)

Harry, you wearing aftershave?

That's not aftershave.
That's kerosene.

The rope is soaked in it.

Why would anybody
soak a rope in kerosene?

Merry Christmas.

Go up!

(SCREAMING)

Get off me!

(SCREAMING)

Get the bag!

Hello. The two guys who robbed
Duncan's Toy Chest are in the park.

Central Park West, 95th Street. Look
for fireworks. Hurry, they got a gun.

Hey, I'm down here.

Better come and get me
before I call the cops.

(HONKS)

My, how the tables have turned.

How do you like the ice, kid?

(LAUGHING)

Let's go for a little stroll in the park.

Give me that bag.

Give me it!

Hey, these will look great
in the photo album.

You may have won the battle,
little dude, but you lost the war.

You ought not have
messed with us, pal.

We're dangerous.

(WINGS FLAPPING)

Harry? Shut up!
Harry!

Shut up! I want to enjoy this.

Something is wrong.

Let's get out of here!
Shut up I said.

I never made it to
the 6th grade, kid

and it doesn't look like
you're gonna either.

Let him go!

Kevin, run!

Shoot her!

Shoot her!

Shoot her!
I'm trying to shoot her.

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS)

Bye! Thanks.

(SIRENS)

Jesus, it looks like
the 4th of July!

We'll take the bridge.
You guys get the tunnel.

Let's go, let's go!

(WHIMPERS)

(HARRY MUMBLES)

Oh, my God!

(GUNSHOT)

All right guys, let's go.

Come on, on your feet.
Take it easy.

You guys should've started earlier.
The prisoners have already exchanged gifts.

We missed the presents?

He made us hide out in a store so we
could steal all the kiddies' charity money.

Shut up, Marv.

You've got the right to
remain silent, you know.

He's a little cranky. We just broke
out of prison a few days ago.

Shut up, Marv!

Get them out of here!
All rights. Let's go.

Remember, if this
makes the papers,

we're no longer the Wet Bandits,
we're the Sticky Bandits.

That's sticky. S...

...T...

Well, Mr. Duncan, it's all over with. We
apprehended the thieves and recovered your money.

Good. I want to get that money over to
the Children's Hospital as soon as possible.

I'll handle it personally.
Thank you very much..

Excuse me, Mr. Duncan?
Yes.

I found this note. Looks like
a kid broke your window.

Dear Mr. Duncan:

I broke your window
to catch the bad guys.

I'm sorry. Do you
have insurance?

If you don't, I'll send you some money,
if I ever get back to Chicago.

Merry Christmas.
Kevin McCallister.

P. S. Thanks for the turtledoves.

Turtledoves.

Excuse me. I'm looking for
my son. This boy right here.

Execuse me. Please help me. This boy
right here. Have you seen him? Please!

(KNOCKS)

I'm looking for my son. Have you seen my
son? There, he's been missing for two days.

Have you filed a report, ma'am?
Of course we have.

Then trust us.
We'll handle it.

But I'm his mother.

I realize that ma'am, but you're
looking for a needle in a haystack.

Do you have kids?

Yes, ma'am.

And what would you do
if one of them was missing?

I'd probably be doing the
same thing you're doing.

Thank you.

Put yourself in your kid's shoes.

Where would you go?
What would you do?

Me? I'd probably be lying
dead in a gutter somewhere.

But not Kevin. No.

Kevin is so much stronger
and braver than I am.

I know Kevin's fine.
I'm sure he is.

But he's still all by
himself in a big city.

And he doesn't deserve that.

He deserves to be at home with his
own family around his Christmas tree.

Oh, dear God!

I know where he is.

I need to get to
Rockefeller Center.

Hop in.
Thank you.

I know I don't deserve a Christmas
even if I did do a good deed.

I don't want any presents.

Instead, I want to take back every
mean thing I ever said to my family,

even if they don't take
back the things they said.

I don't care. I love all of
them. Including Buzz.

If isn't possible I could see all of them,
could I just see my mother?

I'll never want another thing as long
as I live. I just want my mother.

I know I won't see her tonight,

but promise me I
can see her again.

Sometime. Anytime.

Even if it's just once and
only for a couple of minutes.

I just need to tell
her I'm sorry.

Kevin?

Mom?

That worked fast!

Oh, Kevin.

Mom, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

Merry Christmas, Mom.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Thank you.

Let's go.

How'd you know I was here?

I know you and Christmas trees
and this is the biggest one around.

Where's everyone else?

They are at the hotel. They
didn't like palm trees either.

(SNORING)

Holy smokes, it's morning!

It's Christmas morning, man.

Fuller, don't get your hopes up.

I don't think Santa visits hotels.

Are you nuts?
He's omnipresent.

He goes everywhere.

Hey guys, wake up.
It's Christmas!

Mom! Dad! It's Christmas!

Wow.

Where'd it all come from?

Mom! Dad!
You gotta see this!

Gosh!
Peter!

Are you sure we are
in the right room?

Don't open any of mine.
I mean it.

Who is Mr. Duncan?
Duncan? I don't know.

Everybody just calm down.

Calm down!

All right. Now

if Kevin hadn't screwed
up in the first place again,

then we wouldn't be in
this most perfect and

huge hotel room with a
truckload of all this free stuff.

So,

I think it only fair that Kevin
get to open the first present.

Then I'll go and the
rest of you and so on.

Merry Christmas, Kev.

Merry Christmas, Buzz.

Merry Christmas, Kevin.

All right! Merry Christmas!

Enough of this gooey sh...

Show of emotion.

Everyone, let's dig in!

Everybody wait, save the paper.
We can use it next year. .

Merry Christmas.

Kevin!

Merry Christmas!

I got something for you.

What's this?

It's a turtledove. I have
one. You have one.

As long as we each have a turtledove,
we'll be friends forever.

Oh, Kevin.

Thank you.

I won't forget you.
Trust me.

Mr. Mcalister's room
service bill, sir.

Merry Christmas, sir.

Nice family.

Really.

Merry Christmas indeed.

Oh, Dad!

PETER: Kevin! You spent
$967 on room service?!