Holiday Hotel (1978) - full transcript

Good afternoon.
As you all know, it's July, 31st.

5 millions of drivers are on the road.

And, in order to help you drive,
we'll be talking to...

Joëlle Jonathan at
the Rosny-sous-bois police department.

Joëlle, how do things look at 6:01?

There's already heavy traffic
in both directions.

In the south of France...

BEACH HOTEL

Just think of all that bunch of morons
who're stuck in traffic right now.

And all I did was study the map carefully.

2 hours from now,
you'll be swimming in the sea.



Are you sulking?

I'm sleepy.

Besides, I'm sick of your Bretagne.

Don't even mention the Seychelles again.

We're in the recession right now.
It's crazy.

And what is that...

- trailing behind?
- That?

That's a small sailboat. It was a bargain.

I couldn't have missed it.

Hey, uncle!

My friend Jean-Louis's father
bought one like that, but cheaper.

Be nice. Take a nap.

It's not that easy.

He just won't stop talking!



Your nephew is so sweet.
It was a great idea to bring him along.

Euloge, stop it. Not now.

I feel sick.

Oh, my god!

Your tickets, please.

Which car is the bar in?

Trains of this category don't have a bar.

Have a nice trip.

Excuse me?

Smells nice. Coffee and croissants.

What did I tell you?

Oh...

I'm sorry. I didn't see the red light.

Of course, it was 100 kilometers away,
wasn't it?

Your boat got smashed!

Shut up!

Hurry up. Dad's going to be mad.

Bye.

Valerie, are you coming?

Are you coming again next year?

Me too. Bye.

- Hello, Mrs Rouvier.
- Hello.

- Is the mail here already?
- Yes, my dear Estelle.

There's nothing for you.
But there'll be more mail at noon.

We went through Reims.

And we got stuck in Menton.

Why didn't you call?

We tried before leaving.
But the twins wanted to see...

Estelle as soon as possible.

I'd have shown you the caves.

Would you have really?

It would have been impossible
with such a drunkard.

She doesn't have underwear on.

I noticed when she was walking the staircase.

She does. It's just tan colored.

Euloge didn't even step out of his car!

But there was no one around.

Do you remember the time
he pissed in the bin with towels?

Mrs Rouvier's face was unforgettable.

And when exactly is your Euloge
supposed to join us?

- He should be in time for drinks.
- Doesn't surprise me.

Now excuse me, duty calls.

So long, darling.
I'll be back for dinner.

- Where are you going exactly?
- Don't you know?

Why don't you use the hotel court?

It sucks. The ball doesn't bounce there.

Look, it's Léonce!

He's back. And his wife is immortal.

Don't even think about that.
I had enough last year.

- It doesn't seem to be going very well for uncle.
- Shhh!

Four weeks! You must be joking!

You can ask around.

It's four weeks only because
we've known each other for a while.

Where did you put sugar?

Yeah, right, step on me.

That will keep you from falling asleep.

I'll make you a coffee.

What are you doing there?

It'll be ready in 2 minutes.

I didn't ask you to come.

Have your parents left yet?

Damn it.

You'd have gone crazy if
you'd gone to pick up Antoine.

Have a nice trip home!
See you next year.

Yes. Auf Wiedersehen!
Bye, kids!

Hello, Bertrand.

Hello, Mrs Rouvier.

How are you?
Who are you courting today?

Well... it's my mother.

- Excuse me?
- My mother sent me here.

What is it?

She told me...
only 5 minutes ago, in fact...

She'd like to invite you for tea today.

- Well...
- Whatever time suits you, of course.

Well, it's very nice of her.

- Tell her I'd come around 4...
- Madam!

- Excuse me.
- I'll tell her.

The English are fighting again.

What do you want me to do, Yveline?
They'll make peace afterwards.

Where have you been?

You're always late!

Locquirec. Locquirec.
A 2 minutes' stop.

How's it going?
How was the trip?

There was an English woman
sitting across from me.

Fortyish. I got a lucky ticket!

- I really did!
- And what?

Come on, I've been fucking English girls
for a month.

It's time for a change.

I told myself, 'Easy, Antoine.'

'I'll save myself for Bertrand's cousin.'

As for Monique, things don't look too good.

Does she have a boyfriend?

No. She went to Paris with my parents.

- What for?
- No idea.

They should have shacked in her bathroom.

Put down your basket! Come on!

Move it! We only have 2 minutes!

Excuse me.

Hold this.

Why was he looking at you?

- Who?
- Don't play fool with me!

We'll talk in the hotel!

Caroline, do something with your basket!

What did you pick up there?

Don't pick up food!
Now get out!

Did you hear what your father said?

Here you go, sweetie.

- Where are the tickets?
- Carloine, get a move on!

Your daughter is hopeless.

Get the things.

Don't hold it by the handle,
it's broken.

Close the doors, please.

Do we have everything?

Ready to depart!

Here's the bag. Where's the basket?

- Caroline has it!
- Alright, let's go.

Get a move on!

Goodbye, grandma.

- Mum!
- Mother!

What do I do?

Don't move. Get off at the next station.

At Morlaix!

Now get back in the car.

Mother...

In your letters I received while in England,
you described things a bit differently.

Not at all. There are girls,
you just have to look around a bit.

What are we going to do now?

Look, there are Catherine,
Estelle, Juliette, Diane...

They're all the same.
These girls are stuck up.

But Catherine may not be, who knows.

So what are you waiting for?

You should have found out for your friend.

No, this year, I'll leave the girls to you.

So you've been a complete failure
for these 3 weeks.

Do you remember that
whatsherface - Claire or Clara?

Even Gras-double managed to score.
But he didn't get any.

I do whatever I want.

I didn't like that girl, she was weird.

You only get dumb ones.

That doesn't even count.

Dumb ones? Did you hear him?

As for me, I have more ambitious plans.

A few words for Radio Europe 1!

My ice-cream!

There are rumors about your affair
with the owner of the beach hotel!

My ice-cream!

You and Elisabeth? That's my man!

Don't listen to them.
It's not a done deal yet...

But there's something going on.

You heard it, dear listeners!

- Something's going on.
- Cut it out!

Give me my ice-cream back!

- Stop it!
- My ice-cream!

Here! Take your ice-cream, Pinocchio!

Walking on air

I'm just walking on air

Catherine, don't forget to tell me
when 3 minutes are up.

Don't have a care
Is that English guy still there?

Hum, hum!
Look at me now

Happy and how

He's handsome, don't you think?

His girlfriend has bad tits.

If I meet him alone,
I'll be like Kim Novak in Picnic.

Wait till your breasts grow first.

I'll measure 90 by September.

All your boys will be mine.

By the way, I almost did it
with Jean-Pierre.

I saw how he hesitated before inviting you.

It would have been enough for me
to give my Jane Fonda smile.

Jean-Pierre would have been mine!

Shut up, I'm singing.

Don't mean to disappoint you...

but you're far from being a star.

Along and why...

Cause I'm...

Ah, yes.
In love!

Floating on air

I'm just floating on air

Catherine, come here quick!

Ouch! Help me!

- One can't count on you!
- Well excuse me.

- Do you think it'll leave a mark?
- Of course, not.

Do the other one now, or you're going to be lopsided.
Then, it's goodbye to being Kim Novak.

Girls, are you up yet?

- Yes.
- Open up to your parents!

It's like an entrenched camp here.
Hello, my dear.

Morning, dad. Did you sleep well?

Like a log.
You're still asleep?

How can you even sleep
with this Negro music on?

- Come on, get up!
- Stop it!

You're going to give her asthma like that.

- Did you know that?
- No.

Well...

Your mum and I are going to have breakfast.

I hope you're going to get ready
and come join us.

Without alerting the police.

See you soon, girls.

Hm... smells like something's cooking here.

I feel like it's just hot.

Come on, in small steps.

Squats.

Stretching.

Now stop and start breathing.

Rotate your pelvis.

Mrs Charel, don't move your chest.

Breathe through your nose
and fill your lungs with air.

Come on, exhale!

Lift your left leg.

Hands on your shoulders. Inhale.

Stretch your arms.

Why don't you join in, Léonce?
It would do you good.

You wouldn't look as ridiculous as them.

You're not as fat.

Now start walking in small steps.

Come on!

Estelle!

Estelle!

Estelle!

I'm not an idiot.

After Easter, your letters changed.
I noticed that.

And I ask myself,
why did you even keep writing me?

I didn't know if it was serious
between him and me.

I do like you.

But it's not only that...

We had a good time last summer, didn't we?

How old is he?

19.

Look at the prawns I got!

We don't give a damn about your prawns!

- Where is he?
- Who?

I mean, where does he spent his holidays?

At the moment, he's on the Côte d'Azur.

But, since he has a car,
he'll come to see me.

- Here?
- Of course.

Stop sulking, Cyril!

Look around, there's plenty of girls here.

- Or, are you going to spend time alone?
- Don't worry about me.

I'm sure that a week from now,
you won't even remember about me.

You could make friends with Pierre-Alain.

Is that what his name is?

Yes. Why?

- No, nothing.
- It's a nice name.

At least, it's unusual.

- Are you hinting at me now?
- No!

But if you took it personally, let it be!
Now so long. I'm tired of you.

Your mother arrives at noon.

What are you doing dressed like that?

I'm going to change.

With the windows open?

Who's going to see me from there?

Did you think about boats?

You've been provoking me since we arrived!

Not at all, darling. Calm down.

Now you're mine.

Be prudent.

Are you prudent when I'm away?

Yes, darling.

- Do you swear?
- I swear.

Stop it, it tickles.

Paul, you're not suggesting
we do it before lunch?

Of course, I am...

You should've seen the chick.
16 years old... so hot.

Fantastic body!

What is it?

Beef tongue with carrot.

Sauerkraut would've been enough.

Well, if you don't want it...

Relax, Stéphanette. The food is great.

- Shit.
- What is it?

It's too strong. I put too much...

- ginger in it.
- Do you really believe it works?

I read it stimulates really well.

You know what I mean?

Because today I need to...

Otherwise, it'll drop!

Hello, Madam. Bon appétit.

Hello.

- Do you have your pills?
- I have them right here.

That young girl looks really nice.

Why don't we invite her
to play cards with us?

She seems to prefer being on her own.

Or maybe a round of backgammon?

Where are you going with this?

You can serve now.
That'll teach them a lesson.

Paul! It was great.

Hurry up, mum's waiting for you.

Oh my God!

'I only have a roller.'
'Me, too!'

They're here!

Look at that car!

Yes!

Hello, my dear Cécile!

- Did you have a nice trip?
- More or less.

Why don't we go do ourselves up?

No need. She looks great as always.

Do you know what happened?

Doudou, do me a favor, don't start again.

- Go wash your hands, quick.
- Hello, little man.

Do what your uncle says,
or it's going to end badly.

Give a kiss to the Belgian guy,
don't be racist.

Come on, sweetie.

We had a big boat...

You'll tell us later.

This is top notch!

You really made it to the top.

Hello, guys!

Don't you find he's become a bit of a snob
since he started scribbling for that magazine?

What did you expect,
not everyone can write horoscopes.

This is not a good time.

Relax, Milord. Be cool.
Would you like a sip?

I've had a long trip.
Give me break, will you?

- Can I just say something?
- What?

In my opinion, you should have either
bought an English car or dressed Italian.

- As it is, it clashes a bit.
- Is that all?

Well, I just wanted to let you know.

Look, the athlete is bringing an octopus.

- What happened?
- Looks like he swallowed some ink.

Put him in the armchair.
Go find his mother.

We should give him milk.

It would induce vomiting.

- Where's his mother?
- I just saw his father leave.

Who did this to you?

It was the twins...

Shhh!

Shut up.

I'll bring medicine.

What is it?

What happened?

I'll help you take him upstairs.

- I got this.
- No, no, no.

Thank you.

I'll give you a hand.

Here we go.

Be careful!

Come on...

Let's not wait for them.
Let's have a drink.

It'll be alright, my dear.

Isn't it too much work
after your long trip?

- Are you okay?
- He looks cute.

Just like his mother...
You have the same eyes.

Yes!

Hold on.

Casanova, are you coming
or are you going to stand there?

He said, 'Will it go with your dress?'

Are you out of your minds?

It was just a joke.

I'll show you a joke!

Finally!

A Belgian is having a walk
in a wildlife park...

Ah!

- Show me.
- No way!

It's become the order of the day.

Instead of having meals at noon...

and at 7 PM, people eat at 2 PM...

and then at 10 in the evening!

One day, they'll end up doing it
the other way around.

They'll have lunch in the evening
and dinner at noon!

I bet Cyril got cheated on.

What did you say?

No, nothing.

Eat your orange.

Are you going to eat or not?

- How's the kid?
- Much better, thank you. He's asleep.

He's more scared than hurt.

If you need any help,
don't hesitate to ask us.

Alright.

Who's that?

- Who?
- The guy who was talking to you.

Don't start again.
Hello, Madam.

I hope all these emotions
have whetted your appetite.

- Sorry, we're late.
- Not at all. Have a seat.

Your food will be here in a moment.
The kid isn't eating?

No.

- I hope you're hungry, darling.
- Who was that guy?

We have crabs for starter.

Not with my teeth.

You eat nothing but mayonnaise.

Here you go.

Thank you.

I'd like to remark that 'darling'
has a 'g' at the end.

Thank you.

None of your business.

Hey!

What?

I don't like your swimsuit at all.

And my boyfriend thinks it's great.

Cretin!

Where are you going?

On the terrace, to get some sun.

Hey!

What are you doing?

It's too hot. I'm going to the beach.

On second thoughts... no.

It's, no doubt, just as hot on the beach.

It's impossible to sleep with him here!

It's 'uncle', not 'him'!
And don't start it all over again.

Will you shut up?
I can't fall asleep like this.

Well, if I'm disturbing you, I'm off!

Hey!

Good afternoon, Sir.

Hi.

It might be in the lining.
It often happens.

Thank you.

- Are you coming?
- Yes... yes.

- Is he asleep? Give us the key.
- Promise you won't hurt him?

We won't.
But we have to teach him a lesson.

- Will you give us that key or not?
- What if I don't?

Then we'll get you pregnant.

Twins!

Come on! Good, now let's go.

Hands off!

Let me go, please. OK?

When our eyes met,
I felt there was something between us.

Maybe, at the time. But now it's over.

Why?

It's irrational, just like the British.

Bye, fatso.

It's Sébastien.
Go look what's up.

Leave him be.
He's squabbling with his sister.

Paul, why don't we make love?

Aline, let me have a nap.

Maman, les p'tits bateaux
Qui vont sur l'eau

Ont-ils des jambes?

In that case, I'm going to the beach.

Not again! Are you trying to provoke me?

What happened, my dear?

Who did this to you?

- Who's going to get records with me?
- Me.

Me too.

I don't know how you manage.
I wouldn't be able to.

It'd be different if it was someone else.

Besides, my antiques keep my occupied.

Plus, he always spends the night at home.

His playtime is in the afternoon.

A couple times that was
very convenient for me.

No way!

It was only a couple times.

Yes... it was good.

Can't you play further away?

Forgive those brutes, darling.

It's Guédel.
He can't measure the force.

So long, darling.

You might as well try using rancid butter.

It would even smell better.
Come on!

Lucien! Get ready for the Walloon cannon!

It's gonna hurt!

It's mine. Shit!
It's yours, Mr Franchet!

- Excuse me, Mr Guédel.
- We're on the same team!

It's mine. Take it, Mr Guédel!

Oh... bravo!

Here goes the smash of the year!

Not likely.

Adrienne, we're winning!

This ball is shit. Can't play with it!

Watch and learn, kids. Watch and learn.

And we don't even have Léonce!

With Léonce...

we'd beat you hands down.

Isn't it so, Léonce?

Here he is. Come on, join in.

Stop sulking.

Is anything wrong?

It was probably the crab.
I'm also bloated.

It's their serve.

We're going to lose with you.

Get to the net and block!

It's your serve.
Get ready, kids.

Come on!
Oh, lady!

Lady!

Would you like to be the referee?

Oh! Oh!

Are you playing or what?

- Are you playing or what?
- I'm sorry. Let's go.

That's one long letter.

It's been like this since Easter?

We spent 10 days together in winter.

But he flirted with me only the last 3.

And then I returned to Reims.

That's it?
Nothing happened?

No.

- And since then, you haven't had a boyfriend?
- No, I don't want to.

Does it surprise you?

Yes and no.

I've also met a guy like that.

What letters I wrote him!

And then when I saw him again,
I noticed his face was covered with spots.

Plus he wore ankle-long pants
and carried a funny suitcase around.

So I've been there too.

Except, I was 11 then.

Don't worry,
it wasn't the same as what you have.

At first, I didn't believe it either.

I'd even say,
if he hadn't written me first...

He decided to finish his studies in Reims.

When I get back, we can rent a flat.

It's from a Southern province of China.

My mum always puts a bit of ginger in it.

That's what gives it this bitter taste.

Do you want some more?

No, thank you, dear Bertrand.
But it was delicious.

I wonder what she's doing.
It can't be right.

What exactly happened? A friend of hers...

Yes. A friend of hers...

got in a bike, erm... a plane crash.

This morning, she crashed into a post.

That is... an overhead power line.

I wasn't aware. So how is she?

She's fine.
Well, no... not great.

Not great at all, actually.

The shoulder blade, the fibula,
the collarbone...

All those are broken.

Mum didn't have time
to cancel the invitation.

I understand.

Your dress is pretty.

It's really light and... nice.

I suppose she'll be back late.

And I have a lot to do.

But you've been great company.

Elisabeth, don't leave yet.

What is it, Bertrand?

Elisabeth, I'd like us
to see each other again.

We see each other every day.

Yes, but I meant... like a man and a woman.

Like a man and a woman?
I'm afraid, I don't understand.

I'm crazy about you.

I can't eat, I can't sleep.

I can't go on like this.

Elisabeth...

- I want to kiss you.
- No!

Dear Bertrand, let's be prudent.

Why?

Because I'm married. I have a family...

Because I'm twice your age.

You're going to get over it.

Don't bother, I know the way.

Catherine, help me!

Attention! We remind you...

that it's forbidden to swim...

outside the buoyed area.

That area is reserved for water-skiing.

Guys!

Looks who's coming!

- It's Gras-double!
- Bring the crane.

The recession hasn't affected you.

- What's new since last year?
- Nothing really.

Except you fuck now.

It feels good, doesn't it?

Catherine told us everything.
Isn't it so?

Yes. He raped me last year.

It's not true!

Stop denying it. I saw everything.

- She's lying.
- So what happened?

He took me by force.

- She's out of her mind.
- You little bastard!

You're going to apologize to her.

It's not true. Stop it!

I don't forgive him.
Throw him to the piranhas.

Your hair is pretty.

Leave me alone.
Don't you see I'm at work?

Go play with boys of your age.

I'm off to the gym.

Virgo: you're more passionate...

and more deeply in love than ever.

This week, you'll have an opportunity...

to start a serious relationship.

Don't waste your chance
when it presents itself to you.

What about me?

Take it easy!

You're disgusting. Go do it elsewhere.

Did you see that?

Where did you get that?
That's my father's cognac!

Shit!

Hey!

- Hey!
- What is it?

Look, this little guy seems interested.

Come on.

Nibble at it a bit more.

Now slowly... Pull!

Grab it!

Look at this beast!

- It must be at least 2 pounds.
- You're kidding? It's at least 3 pounds!

Ouch!

Just look at it!

It's the biggest one we've ever caught.
And you know why?

Because you know how to bait.

Exactly.

Well, it's only the beginning.

Like Hemingway said, it whets my appetite.

- He's funny.
- Sailor!

Double ration for the crew.

Yes, captain!

This southwest wind...

is going to bring good weather
for those dumb holidaymakers.

For sure!

Unless, northwest wind
turns everything to shit.

Here we go!

Give me your glasses.

Tastes great.

This is my best wine.

Veuve Clicquot 66.

Can you smell it?

The current is taking us back to the shore.

I don't want to seem
like a pretentious dick, but...

I mean...

I've never had a lack of women.

But if I had to choose between them...

and all this...

It's great being among the guys.

Listen!

Breakfast at the hotel.

Good morning.

It's the best time to have a walk.

Are you hurt?

Nothing serious, just a strained muscle.
It happens to all the sports people.

- Are you coming or not?
- I'm right behind you.

Hello.

- Not even once.
- No. I swear.

In 12 years, you must have...

- had something.
- No.

I'll never understand these Belgians.

Well, I'm not going to force myself,
after all.

Ridiculous as it may sound,
but Odette completely satisfies me.

She satisfies him.

And he says it just like that.

I don't mean to exaggerate.

I'm not saying it's fantastic every night.

Oh come on!

It's not. But it's good.

It's good.

Still, you might be missing out
on something.

- Am I right?
- For sure.

What are you talking about?

Not that it would interest you.

What do you mean by these innuendos?

Do you have too much
or not enough right now?

Your stupid jokes again.

Maybe not.

Don't you get it? Well...

- No way!
- And don't say you didn't notice.

I swear. I've seen her only a couple times.

She didn't look like...

It's natural.
But she's always interested in it...

- Here she comes.
- Watch out.

Well?

He fell for it.

Like I said, you have to know how to bait.

Speaking of, my attempts
to bait little Yveline fell through.

- The waitress?
- Yes.

For now, I just prepared the ground,
but one of these days...

You should have looked outside the hotel.

Why? She's pretty.

But aren't you afraid that Cécile...

Cécile? You must be kidding me!

As for her...

there's nothing she can offer.

Why do you think I've been coming
to Bretagne for 10 years?

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

Hello.

Spirou and a pack of cigarettes, please.

Here you are. 6,10.

I didn't ask for this.
I asked for Le Nouvel Observateur.

- Hello.
- Oh, hi.

Here you go.

7,60.

How's your girlfriend doing?

She's fine, thanks.

I talked to her on the phone yesterday.

Where's she?

On Tahiti, on her parents' yacht.

- That must be great.
- Yeah.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

What about your boyfriend?

I was just joking.
I don't have one.

Well, I did, but we broke up.

After all, maybe you're right.

I'll probably ditch her.

She's on Tahiti, and I'm in Locquirec...

- Are you taking part in the beach contest?
- No, I think it's dumb.

- Let's have a walk?
- If you want.

What's your name?

- Charlotte. And yours?
- Jean-François.

German police, open up!

If you don't obey, I'll peep in!

Oh... I see everything!

Absolutely everything!

Hello, my dear Cyril.

Hello, Bertrand.

Hello, Madam.

Was it interesting, what you saw?

Amsterdam, booth number 1!

It's hormonal.

'Can't leave hotel.
Send cash ASAP. Maurice.'

Hormonal or not, I'd ask for a day off.

A collect call to London, please.

Basewater
2299732.

Mr Anthony Powell...

from Brenda Taylor.

- Please.
- A personal call?

Locquirec, booth 1.

How much longer?

What are you doing?

Come on... move!

Beach hotel?

Is Mr Dandrel in?

He left?

Give me Mrs Dandrel then.

Hello?

Mrs Dandrel?

Speaking.

Are you alone?

Who is it?

Oh... you don't recognize me?

Think a bit.

No.

Well... I have an idea.

Why are you calling?

Why am I calling?

Don't you know?

No.

Do you realize what state you left me in?

I don't recognize myself anymore.

But I didn't do anything.

Seeing you makes my head go round.
Don't you understand?

Your hips... your breasts...

Don't say anything. Please.

- I have a husband and children.
- Me too.

Don't call me anymore.

- I'm going to hang up now.
- But...

It's on.

London, booth 1.

Thank you so much.
Asshole!

What?

What did you do?

I didn't do anything, I swear...

Excuse us.

What's up with you? What is it?

Nothing.

It has to be here!

It's going to end badly.

Her tits were this big.

10 minutes later,
I was in bed with her.

If you don't believe me, ask Jean-Pierre.

Go invite them to dance.

Come on!

- Who is it?
- I don't know. I'll get it.

Hello, darling!

Who invited you?

Gras-double... I mean, Daniel.

Gras-double! Sorry, we're late.

I didn't invite you!

Nevertheless, here we are.

Introduce us to your girlfriend.

Mademoiselle!

What are you doing?

You have no right to be here.
I didn't invite you.

I'll tell Rose-Annie.

Do you want to get spanked like last year?

Shit! Where's a broom?

Everyone told you, you wouldn't know
how to approach Elisabeth.

She's in her forties.
She's not a girl anymore.

You have to treat her like a man would,
that's what she expects.

But trust me, she's definitely eager.

- Move it.
- I didn't invite you.

- What are they doing?
- Don't mind them. Get a move on.

- You don't have the right to be here.
- Where's that broom?

When my mother comes back...

In you go, Gras-double!

It's going to end badly.

Your grapefruit juice is great.

Leave me alone!

Leave it open. It's my place!

Who's this girl?

I don't know.

Everyone, get out of here!

Rose-Annie, some idiot
knocked over an ash tray.

- What?
- We need a broom.

- It's in the kitchen.
- Show me. Let's go.

I'm coming, sweetheart.

It's going to be more intimate
with the lights off.

- You're tickling me.
- No, I'm caressing you.

No, you're tickling me.

- Stop it!
- Calm down.

I'm not touching you anymore.

Do you like it like this?

Ouch! You pinched me!

- Oh, Cyril...
- What is it?

- I feel sick.
- You what?

I only hear one thing, lovely marquise...

and this thing is hidden
behind this fragile breast.

A desire, unexpressed and unsatisfied...

that you feel for me.

The viscount grabbed the marquise...

and adroitly removing
the laces of her bra...

What's next?

Are you okay?

Is everything okay?

Come on.

Come with daddy.
We'll pay those terrible twins a visit.

Aline!

- Aline, come here!
- Coming!

- It's your mother.
- What about her?

- The tide is coming in.
- Oh no!

Mother!

- Mother!
- She doesn't hear you.

- Mother!
- Mum!

- Mother!
- Mum!

Mother!

- Her clothes are awesome.
- Look at this hat.

Look at this!

Wow...

You look classy.

Daniel, stop it! I'll tell my mother!

Stop it, you idiot!

You didn't answer my question.
Will I see you again soon?

I'll do what I can.

How about you give me a tennis class?

What's that?

It's just my daughter's friends.
She had a little party.

Hello, Madam.

Keep going!

Well, if you feel like it,
give me a call.

Bye!

- Antoine, wait for me!
- Hello, Madam!

Hello, Madam!

Help!

Daniel, stop it!

Help!

Ah!

Bertrand, what are you doing here?
How did you get in?

Doesn't matter, Elisabeth.

Do you know why I'm here?

It's enough!

I was patient the other day,
but I can get angry too.

- Do you hear me?
- I only hear one thing, Elisabeth.

And this thing is hidden
behind this fragile breast.

A desire, unexpressed and unsatisfied
that you feel for me.

Are you out of your mind?
Someone might come in.

In your bathroom?

You have other lovers except me?

- I'll be the most courageous.
- My husband might come back.

He's in the kitchen. I checked.

Stop it, or I'll scream.

Scream, Elisabeth!

Scream like an animal. Beg me.

You wanted a man, so here I am.

I'm going to fill your body, Elisabeth.

I'm going to set it on fire
and give it what it desires.

No! You're crazy!

You're drunk!

Albert, is that you?

No, it's me, Madam.
I knocked, but no one answered.

I'm in the shower, Yveline.
What did you want?

The English are fighting again.
They're going to break the furniture.

Doesn't matter. Let them do it.

Bertrand, stop it.

What should I do if they break something?

Add it to their bill.

Alright. I'm leaving.

Stop it!

You're getting weaker.

In a few minutes...

Damn! Are you happy now?

I had my hair done for tonight.

You look even more attractive like this.

Stop it already!

Don't you see, you're stupid and vulgar.

And I'm ridiculous.

The other day was nice.

I wasn't mad at you at all.

No one has told me those things
for a long time now.

And now you spoilt it all.

Please, leave.

Leave now.

Now!

How?

The same way you got here!

I don't want to see you anymore.

Hello.

Hello?

- It's me again.
- I told you not to call anymore.

Have you read my letter?

You're out of your mind.
Don't write me things like that, Lucien.

Unbelievable.

Especially, the effect plastic
had on sales.

Does it still sell well?

Of course.

You stop the car. The light goes red.

When you move again, it goes green.

- Isn't Mrs Dandrel coming?
- She is. She's just putting children to sleep.

I see.

- Can I have a drink?
- Of course. Just a moment.

Thank you so much.

Hold on, Marie-Laure.

Ladies and gentlemen, the mat dance!

- What is it?
- Don't you like it?

I bought it today.

You're provoking me, Aline.

- Not at all.
- Get out of the way!

You're crazy.

I don't drink. It makes me aerophagic.

Shut up and dance.

I don't like tango.

Do you want me to teach you how to dance?

Why not.

Here you are.

Where were you?

I couldn't come earlier.

Good evening.

We'll talk when we're back to the hotel.

I'll show you!

Why don't we go spend some time alone?

No one will know.

Estelle, how about a slow dance for once?

Why not? If it's only for once.

See, everyone is here.

Even Pierre-Alain.
He arrives tomorrow.

Why did you have to say that?

I'm sorry.

But tonight we're together.

We are.

What are you thinking about?

I wish I was a few years older.

Me too.

It's about to rain. A drop just fell on me.

Do you want to go back?

It's the first time tonight
when we're by ourselves.

Come this way.

Their champagne...

makes me dizzy.

Hubert! Hubert!

Finally? Where've you been?

I'm going to the mass. I promised Cécile.

That's dumb.

If it hadn't been for that stupid storm,
Yveline would've been mine last night.

Go put up a candle then, maybe it'll help.

Attention! Tonight...

at 9 PM,
will be talking place a music festival...

sponsored by Kanterbräu.

You can win numerous prizes.

Sign up this afternoon.

Attention! Tonight...

Let's ask the Lord
to receive our prayers...

through our Mother in Heaven, Mary.

Since the very beginning,
Mary has been taking care of our church...

despite the turmoil
of ages and civilizations.

Let's ask the Lord...

- Me? No way!
- Don't be ridiculous.

Go ahead!

Lord, we pray to you.

Thank you.

The human body has become
an idol, an object.

I can't go on like this, Lucien.

- Are you unwell?
- No.

Thank you.
I can't bear what you subject me to.

Me?

Thank you.
You've won.

I admit my defeat.

- But...
- Don't be afraid. You can talk.

This is the only place where Paul
leaves me in peace.

We have to talk face to face.

Of course.

Tomorrow at 10, in the Locnéolé church.

Loc... néolé.

Madam! The English...

- The English...
- What? They're fighting again?

No, Madam. They've taken French leave.

Poor dad, your buddies have left you?

Mum's gone bargain-hunting.

- She'll be back for lunch.
- I see.

What are you doing dressed like this?

You're also going to the mass?

- Have you forgotten about Pierre-Alain?
- Oh right!

I did, actually.

Are you going to recognize him?

Estelle, I want to talk to you
about yesterday...

When you saw me in the car...

It's not what you might think...

It just didn't occur to me
to introduce you at the time.

- Are you talking about your female friend?
- Yes.

Why do you even bother
to tell me all this?

- I think it's a good thing.
- You must be joking!

I mean, it has a positive side to it.

At least, now you know
that I know for sure.

You mean that even before, you...

- And you think that you mother...
- Ask her.

I want to introduce you.

- Aren't you going to give me a kiss?
- Of course.

You don't want to stop?

Right, why not drive even faster?

Unbelievable!

Hold on! Wait!

What do you want?

I don't know. I'll have the same as you.

Alright... snacks.

And... a steak. Medium-rare for me.

- Yes, Sir.
- Is that okay with you?

No, I'll have smoked salmon.
And pressed duck.

- And Sir, you'll still have...
- Yes. Thank you.

Yes, Sir.

And a lot of wine!

I'll bring you a sommelier right away.

I'm so thirsty today. Aren't you?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Nothing. It's just funny.

What is it?

- I didn't notice you had spots on your nose.
- Spots?

'What is that I hear?
It's the Niagara Falls!'

- Is it good?
- Yes.

Lobster for Mr Guédel!

Don't make us ask you twice,
everyone knows you like it.

They say that places of pilgrimage
are always dull. It's not true.

- Some more wine?
- No, thank you.

It's true. I've been to Belgium.
It rains all the time there.

- It never rains in Belgium.
- Bullcrap!

I'm fed up with their mashed potatoes.

Me too. I want some lobster.

Let them stuff their faces. At least, when
they eat or sleep, they leave us alone.

Especially, when they're unwell.

It's done. My date's arranged for tomorrow.

What are the two of you whispering there?

Euloge, come over here!

I'm coming.

Tomorrow morning, you and I
are going fishing. Don't ruin it.

Do you know Tyrone Power?

That guy could've run over us like that.
It's a real winner for Estelle.

He drinks some whisky
and it goes to his head.

Have a drink.

Why did you dance with Estelle last night?

I don't know...

It's strange what's happening to me.

What?

We've been together for three days,
and I don't want it to end.

- And you?
- Sure.

So your studies in Reims are cancelled?

Yes. I wanted to write you about it, but...

It's all my father's fault.

He is friends with a big cheese who has
a cardiology practice in Grenoble.

It'll be good for me.

Of course.

But don't worry, I'll come often.

We can see each other on weekends.

That'll be difficult.

Is it your parents?

No.

My parents aren't the problem.

It's...

Ludovic.

Ludovic?

Yes. Have you forgotten about him?

You've never told me...

I've never told you about Ludovic?
Well alright.

He's my dad's friend.

An American.

He's 38... and divorced.

So...

He oftens spends his weekends with us.

That's how it happened.

I see.

- Yves, ask for a bill.
- Waiter!

Next month, we're going to Philadelphia.

He has some business there.

What is it?

- Are you unwell?
- No, I'm fine.

I'm just a bit...

It's probably the steak.

Probably. Excuse me.

I don't feel very well after this lobster.

You too? It has to be the sauce.

Ouch!

It hurts!

I listen to the news on the radio

Their advertising gets on my nerves

Nobody believes me and yet

I'm James Dean

I'm James Dean

I'm James Dean

Bravo! Dave Black Cool!

And now, welcome the next contestant.

She comes straight from the islands.
She may be a new French star.

Please welcome, Cathy!

- Carole King, where is she?
- The next room.

Carole, your turn in 4 minutes.
Hurry up!

- You've put too much.
- You think so?

That's better.

I come to you at night

At night

What if you parents saw you?

Is Antoine there?

I've never seen you like this.

Yeah, at night

I come to you at night

And now, our dear poet, Bruno!

- My guitar!
- Is it yours?

- You broke it.
- I'm so sorry.

It's your turn.
Come on, you'll figure it out.

It's not that bad.

- Marie-Lyne, it's for you.
- Me?

Are you out of your mind?

Hi there!

Oh, hi.

Great car.

Do you have a driver's license?

I'll have it in 2 years. But shhh!

What about your Pierre-Alain?

He's waiting for me in the hotel.

I've come to say goodbye.

Get in.

- But...
- Come on, get it!

Where are you going?

After Rock, it's time for some tenderness.

Please welcome, charming Catherine Guédel!

It's been only one year

It's been already one year

My memory is uncertain

But my heart didn't forget

That magical summer

For the first time

My heart went wild

And made its first steps

I have never forgotten

That one summer you were mine

On a lonely beach hidden

From all people and all time

I have never forgotten

Philadelphia? Are you out of your mind?

Not at all, my parents will come
see us on holidays.

Watch out!

- What?
- No, nothing.

Are you tipsy?

A little bit.

We had a drink to celebrate my departure.

Where are you going?

I'm taking you to America!

Estelle, enough with these jokes!

- Are you scared?
- Stop it!

Let's jump out!

You've lost your mind!

Dummy, do you really think I'll jump?

But I do want to have a bath.

One day, I came back to the beach

And I saw children playing

Like we did at their age

Confused at 15 years old

I have never forgotten

That one summer you were mine

On a lonely beach hidden

From all people and all time

I have never forgotten

When we walked along the shore

Once we kissed and your promised

To be mine for ever more

1... 2...

And 3.

And 1... and 2... and 3.

Hi. I'm gonna be late for the gym.

Tell the athlete we said hi.

I'm ready for my first date.

You're not ready yet?
Get a move on!

I'm getting ready, calm down.

I feel unwell after these
oysters and lobsters.

Hello, Mr Guédel. Hello, Madam.

Nice day, isn't it?

My poor Adrienne.

I think this time we've hit rock bottom.

A singer!

I'm sorry, Pierre-Alain.
I have no idea where your car is.

Or Estelle, actually.

We're both very worried.

To make matters worse, I'm unwell.

Don't you think she might be with...
Ludovic?

Ludovic?

Yes... a friend of yours.

Her American boyfriend.

Her American boyfriend?

Oh him! No, Pierre-Alain, I don't think so.

Oh...

I don't think so either.
No... definitely not.

I'm going to go to the police then.

Yes, go ahead, Pierre-Antoine.

I mean... Pierre-Alain.

Such a charming young man.

I'm fed up with Ludovic, Pierre-Alain
and your daughter!

It's starting again.

It's a suicide trying to reach
this little cove.

I thought I'd never see you again.

I've been waiting for this for 3 weeks.

I'd have crawled here if I had to.

3 weeks of waiting.

It was hell.

I was longing to see you.

I want you.

During high season,
I wouldn't have time for this.

Oh, Euloge...

Go ahead.

Hm?

What are you waiting for?

Let me kiss you a bit more first...

Smell your parfume...

- I thought you waited for 3 whole weeks.
- I did.

I'll make you even more desirable
by waiting.

What is it?

Nothing... Nothing at all.

We have the whole morning in front of us.

No need to hurry.

Pom pom pom!

The weather's nice, don't you think?

It's beautiful here.

It's a nice cove.

Marvellous scenery.

Fantastic weather.

And the sea...

The sea!

Bye, Tarzan!

Yveline, wait!

- Is that you?
- Yes.

- Why didn't you say anything at first?
- I was scared.

- Hello.
- Oh... Yes, hello.

Did you have any trouble finding the place?

No! Not at all...

It's nice here.

It's strange.

When you're with me,
you speak differently.

It's easier on the phone.

Yes...

Who's that?

Erm... some saint.

Lucien...

What?

You were so passionate on the phone.
No one has ever told me things like that.

And now, I can't help thinking about it.

Oh, Lucien, talk to me.

Please!

- We're in a church, after all!
- A disused church.

Lucien, tell me all those things once more!

Your church is nice,
but we should find another place.

We have to see each other again
before I leave.

Maybe, in the downtown
no one will bother us?

- In Morlaix?
- Can you get there?

I'll find a way.

Where were you today?
Are you going to tell me or not?

Crab again! You know I can't eat it.

Try it, at least. It's rich in phosphorus.

- Are you going to answer me?
- I've already told you, darling.

I went to look at the old church.
Since I knew you wouldn't be interested...

Ouch!

What is it, mum?

- My tooth...
- You broke a tooth?

Great!

I'll have to take you to Morlaix.

Kids, let's go to the beach now.

Cécile, are you coming with us?

Yveline, can you serve
in the garden, please?

Cretin!

Hm?

- What is it?
- I wanted to ask you for a favor.

Sure, go ahead.

I want you to call Odette...

and assume a Belgian accent.
But discreetly!

I see.

If it's not too...

What are you getting into here?

Me?

Nothing much, I swear.

I need you to pass yourself off
as my boss from Brussels.

Here, I wrote you a small note.

The door!

Keep us up-to-date.
It'll be alright, you'll see.

Goodbye.

I'm going to the antique store.
Does that suit you?

Come on, get in.

So, doctor, I'll leave mum with you.

It could take long.

All the time is yours.

I'll be back in the evening.

Bye, mum!

Don't bother, I'll see myself out.

Name?

Gessner.

Citizenship?

Erm... Swiss.

Do you have luggage?

No.

Good.

Room 12.

Have a nice time.

Nothing impressive around here.

This one is pretty.

What exactly are you looking for?

Nothing in particular.
You never know.

You come for a mirror
and end up buying a 'dos d'âne' desk.

- What's a 'dos d'âne' desk?
- I'll show you.

That's what I like about this activity.

- Leaving home not knowing...
- who you'll end up with in the evening.

It's stopped raining.
Shall we look elsewhere?

- What about lunch?
- Are you hungry?

No, but...

You're not going back to the hotel
to have lunch with your husband?

I don't feel like it.

You want to go back?

Why don't we order a drink?

Your life in Brussels must be great.

Well...

It's a hectic life.

Sometimes, I envy people like you.

You have a calm and orderly life...

A husband, kids...

For me, it's only an appearance.

I literally live on planes.

And then palaces...

Adventures with no regard for tomorrow...

And your wife?

She doesn't complain?

My wife...

She's not exactly my wife.

She's not?

No... she was my assistant.

And then, one night...

In a private jet, after having
some champagne, it just happened...

Halfway between Brussels...

and the Philippines.

This is how our twins were conceived.

The Philippines?

Since she started getting up at the break of dawn
and drinking nothing but water...

she doesn't even think about meals.

And now she has a new hobby.

Bargain-hunting, she calls it.

Load of crap!

It's ridiculous.

Your Cécile might be dumb...

but at least...

with her gym, sunbathing and siesta
she leaves you in peace.

That's true. She minds her own business.

We're two bastards, you and I.

This thing with Mrs Dandrel
is going to end badly.

Instead of breaking two couples...

We've managed to break only one, yes.

Besides, dealing with women this year...

I'm speaking for myself here...

hasn't been great.

What I don't like about Lucien
is his reserved character.

I guarantee he's not going
to tell us how it goes.

He's Belgian, what do you expect?

Whether you want it or not,
it's a different mentality.

Oh...

Shhh!

Hey!

It's nice.

- What is it?
- It's a flintlock pistol.

It dates back to the Napolean wars.

See this walnut grip?

- What is it?
- Nothing.

Is it true that you're leaving tomorrow?

Me too.

It's stupid, don't you think?

Cyril!

Cyril!

Peekaboo!

Get out of there. If the owner sees you...

- I don't feel well.
- What's wrong?

You got me drunk.

You really got the nerve to say that!

I didn't have to force you.

Come here, there's space for you.

- Come on...
- It's out of the question.

- Someone's coming. Get out, quick!
- No, you get in.

It's insane. How's it going to look?

Thank you.

Come, quick!

1726.

How many people have made love
here since, do you think?

- Shhh!
- Talk to me.

Shut up.

Hey!

How should I know?

A lot.

But how many?

Shut up.

- How many?
- 500! Are you satisfied?

Yes.

- Cyril, no...
- Shhh!

Are we really going to make love here?

Where can they be?

- Wait another 5 minutes.
- Uncle!

- I have something to tell you.
- Not now.

I need to tell you now.

Don't you see I'm busy?

- What if...
- Get lost!

Hi, dad! Mum still isn't here?

No.

She could have called, at least.

Of course. You always call
when you're late, don't you?

You're not eating here?

I am. I've invited Antoine and Bertrand.
I'll go look for them.

What's the occasion?

That's top secret!

See you!

Here they are!

I don't know how to thank you.
It was very nice of you.

Not at all.

I broke my tooth while eating crab.

It must have hurt.

Are better now, mother?

Let me buy you a drink.

- It's my turn to pay.
- No way. I insist.

How are the two of you doing?

Would you like to have a drink with us?

- No, thank you.
- No.

- How was the weather in Morlaix?
- It was very nice.

- It rained all day here.
- Erm... there as well.

One day he'll teach us how to get laid.

I told you, it's a different mentality.

It's a different mentality.

I'll go find Cécile. She must be mad
I left her alone, especially given the weather.

Why didn't you tell me?

What is it?

What's wrong?

- It's Cécile.
- Is she unwell?

She's not here.

- She ran off?
- Yes.

With the athlete.

- With the athlete?
- Doudou saw them leave.

She left this one for me as a gift.

Here you go. Happy birthday!

Thank you. Come join us!

Don't be shy.
There's enough space for everyone.

Come here, everyone.

Happy birthday, dad!

Open your present!

First, you have to blow out the candles.

Pass your plates.

- Do you want mine?
- What?

Do you want mine?

No, thanks.

Well?

Doctors said she'll be alright.

I'm picking her up tomorrow morning.

We're glad to hear that.

Can I offer you a drink?

- Today, I can't say no.
- Ah!

- Just a little bit.
- To you!

Thank you.

Hope to see you and your wife
again next year.

Thank you.

Well, come join us. Come on!

Here's my address...

in case your wife needs anything.

It's very nice of you, Ms Luce.

Shall we dance?

If, at least, she had let me know...

Told me something... but no.

She just took off!

Will we write each other?

Yes. I'll give you my address.

Mr and Mrs Delorme, come!
Let's take a photo together.

Catherine, are you coming?
Everyone's waiting for you!

- Hello.
- Hi.

Was it nice in the antique shop yesterday?

Yes, it was great.

- You're leaving right now?
- Yes.

- Cyril!
- What?

I wanted to tell you... Well...

I regret what happened last year.

Well... goodbye.

Goodbye.

- Estelle!
- What?

Goodbye.

Do I have to wait 11 months
before I see you again?

No.

I'll come to Reims for weekends.

Come on.

Come join everyone!

Attention!

As good as new!

Have fun, Mr Saint-Prix.

Bye.

- Uncle!
- What?

You know, I didn't love you at first,
but now I love you more.

Are you crazy?

Bertrand!

Bertrand!

Bertrand!

I've locked the hotel.

I have some time to spare.