Holding Trevor (2007) - full transcript
Young, beautiful and intelligent, Trevor (screenwriter Brent Gorski) is in a stalemate. Entangled in an unhealthy relationship with Darrell, a self-destructive heroin addict, and trapped in a telemarketing job, Trevor finds scant comfort in Los Angeles' vapid party scene, where conversation rarely rises above inquiries like "So, are you an actor?" Worse still, he and his two best friends - roommate Andie and singer Jake - are being pulled apart by boredom and discontent. At the hospital for his boyfriend's latest overdose, Trevor finds a potential new beginning in Ephram, a medical intern with ambition, a warm demeanor and strikingly good looks. After they spend a romantic evening together, Trevor seems poised to make some changes. He begins by ending his relationship with Darrell and then strives to reconnect with Andie and Jake. But what should be a joyous event - a party celebrating a negative HIV test - explodes into rage and sorrow. Darrell shows up unannounced and makes a scene, Ephram suggests that Trevor isn't ready for a commitment, and Andie, reeling from a painful revelation, kicks Trevor while he's down. Though pulled in multiple directions, Trevor remains committed to bettering his life. But first he must realize that some people are too precious to abandon. Director Rosser Goodman (That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout, Frameline29) finds rich emotional territory in Gorski's script, keeping it both focused and raw.
Darrell, please!
Open the fucking door!
Darrell!
Open the door, please.
Open the door!
Darrell!
Open the door!
Open the fucking door!
♫ ["Suburbia Floating" (instrumental)] ♫
[soft moans]
[phone ringing]
[phone ringing]
[ring ]
[on machine] Hey, you've reached Trevor
- ... and Andie.
- We're not here right now, so just leave us a message.
ANDIE: Or whatever.
I'm sorry. Answering machine, what could you
possibly be doing this early? Where's Andie?
Like, since when
has she had a life?
Anyway, I'm just calling to let you guys know
that I got to New York safely.
Um, there's not a lot going on here.
Oh, and you were right. L.A. guys are
so much cuter than the guys here.
Anyway, I guess I better go, so...
I don't know, like,
call me or whatever.
Bye.
♫ [frenetic instrumental music] ♫
Everybody's looking... for something...
someone... everybody.
What makes it interesting, though,
is where they actually find themselves.
I tend to find myself
in the spaces inbetween.
I think I found religion in that moment
right before really you wake up.
When you're still not sure
what's real and what isn't?
Right there.
It's got one fatal flaw, however.
The shitty part...
is that you always have to wake up.
Hey.
So, good news. Your, um...
well, Darrell, he's stable.
I think he's going to be fine.
- Now, are you a relative?
- Not really.
Okay... um...
Oh? Right now he's still
a little groggy from...
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- Right. Well, if you'd like I could
have a nurse show you to where he is.
Technically, you're not allowed into the room...
Technically.
It's okay.
Thanks.
Um...
- Actually, you'll want to go this way.
- No. Actually, I don't.
♫ ["Dirty Numbers"] ♫
[loud yell]
How long does it take?
A minute... a week... a lifetime?
I know that patience is everything, but...
what if people can't really change?
Deep down, what if all we're really capable
of doing is distracting everyone...
from what's actually going on underneath?
[honk] [whispered] Go! Go! Go!
- Huh?
- It's green, faggot. Go.
- Oh fuck, sorry.
- What is your deal?
- Wow. Not wasting any time, huh?
- You've been back in town for, what, all of 15 minutes?
- More like 45, if you count baggage claim.
- Riiight, and you definitely do have a lot of baggage, so...
- Oh, I'm sorry, was that a joke?
because, if you finally made a joke after all these years,
I totally wouldn't remember it.
It really has't been the same
without you here.
God, I know. I mean, look at what happens
when you're left to your own devices.
It was just for a month.
- Excuse me?
- Come on. Andie's already filled me in
on the whole Darrell situation.
It has been a month, right?
Or am I getting my dates wrong?
If she's already filled you in,
you should know that everything's fine.
- Right.
I mean he's on Methadone, he's in out-patient,
and he's been going to meetings ever since.
Oh, wow, cool, 30 days. So it's totally
going to be different this time.
God, Jake!
- He's one of my oldest friends, okay?
- I don't think that...
losing your virginity to someone at age 16
automatically classifies you as lifelong friends.
- Why are you such an asshole?
- Just lucky, I guess.
Hey.
- Where have you been?
- Remember I had to pick up Jake?
Oh yeah...
[yawn]
- Did you just wake up?
- Mm-hmm. I got some pills to help sleep.
In the clinic, baby.
Ah.
- So, you actually, like, "slept" slept?
- Yeah, something like that.
It's cold.
Why don't you go
get in the shower?
- Not unless you come with me.
- I already took one.
- Not with me, you haven't.
No...
- Now you get to make it up to me.
- D...
You're coming with me.
Aah, I'm getting in the shower.
God, it's like, move on already. I mean...
if they're really just friends
they should be trying to meet other guys, right?
Whatever. It's just so pathetic
that he still, like, trusts him.
I mean, I get first love and everything, but, like,
I would never put up with some of that shit.
Oh, hey.
Ow! Fuck!
- Goddamn!
- Wow, so...
Trev, I'm actually glad you're here.
Um, you see the water bottle over there?
- Yeah...
Could you get it for me?
- God, I mean, you're so close to it.
- You're so lazy!
I don't want it bleeding internally.
We're taking a break.
- So what are you guys up to tonight?
The same thing every respectable human being's
up to on a Friday night.
- Chinese food and a movie.
- Riiight!
- You're not joining us?
- Oh, no, Trevor has other plans.
- You do.
Yeah, no...
- What movie you guys going to watch?
- Oh, something stupid so Andie can understand it.
Oh, shut up!
So, Trevor, weren't you,
like, leaving or something?
- I believe I was.
- Great! - Yeah.
Oh, but before I go,
Andie can I get you anything? I mean...
I've never seen you at such a late hour
without a cocktail in your hand. - [sarcastic laugh]
Well, now you have.
Yeah, it's not in her hand,
'cause it's actually on the table.
- Mmm. You know what, shouldn't you be
leaving so we can watch this?
- Fine.
- You two have a lovely evening.
- Mm-hmm, you too.
Bye.
- Give you one guess where he's going tonight.
- God, at least one of us is having sex tonight.
By "us" I mean, like, out of Trevor and me.
God knows you're not having sex.
Hey!
Oh, no, I mean, like,
with another person.
Get off me!
- Are you serious?
- No.
D, it's okay,
we don't have to go out.
Nooo, baby, we can still go.
Just give me a couple minutes, okay?
I'm just so tired.
It's probably... you know,
what they have me on.
mixed with my...
Yeah, shouldn't you only be taking those
when you're, like, having trouble sleeping?
Baby, I'm fine.
Oh, right... but,
you can't even stay awake anymore, so...
I told you...
they upped my Methadone.
Why don't just go get in bed?
Come here, baby.
Come on...
Let's go celebrate.
What are we celebrating?
You and me?
[ring]
[ring]
[ring]
Trev, thank-you so much for coming with me.
You know how I just hate these parties...
probably even more than you do.
Okay, well, so
you hate them more...
You not allowed to help hate me for it,
because my label's making me do it.
- Oh, is that so?
- For real.
Okay, it's cool...
Really it's...
doesn't matter that much.
I'm sure these people are great.
I hate to party, mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm.
- I hate these people.
- [chanting] I hate these people.
- I hate this party. I hate these people...
- Shit, it's Mary C.
Tell her I'm going
to the bathroom.
- That's what you tell her.
- Bathroom. - Bathroom, bathroom...
Hang on.
- Hey, Mary C.
- Not you. Whatever!
Where's your friend at?
Hey! ... You...
Uh, Jake. Bathroom.
Where?
Oh, bathroom, right. You're an actor, right?
Let me get your opinion on something. - No.
So...
Wait, did you just say, "No"?
- Well excuse the fuck out of me, Miss Queen of Sheba...
- I said "no" to being an actor.
- Ohhh.
- I'm not one. What was the question?
- About what?
- If I had been an actor, what is it
that you would have asked me?
Ohhh.
You wouldn't get it.
Probably not.
Well, shit what the fuck is it that you do?
I mean, if you're not an actor...
I'm part of an elite organization
of telephonic representatives... Yeah.
- I answer phones, like, for a living.
- Wow!
Well, that's great.
I mean really.
That's— That's interesting.
Well, good luck with that. Trust me,
hard work always pays off in the end.
You look like you're having
as bad a time as I am.
That depends.
- Did you see that woman I was just talking to?
- Yeah.
- Have you had to talk to her yet?
- No.
Okay, then I win.
My time, so far, has been worse than yours.
It's like... the whole time she was talking to me...
I just kept trying to wish myself back to a happier place.
Like... getting a colonoscopy
or something.
It normally takes me a hell of a lot longer
to work my colon into the conversation, but...
you just, like, right away,
got down to business.
- Mmm, pun intended?
- Always.
- I'm Trevor, by the way.
- Ephram.
- But actually, we kind of met before.
- Kind of?
Yeah, County. I was working the day
you brought your friend in, about a month ago.
Oh.. shit.
- I wouldn't expect you to remember me.
- No... Yeah.
Actually I do.
- I think I might have been a little short with you that day.
- Well, you were sitting down.
A doctor with a sense of humor!
Yeah. Well, I'm still interning, so it'll be awhile
before anyone takes me too seriously.
Well, sorry...
for being an asshole.
- Do you want to get out of here?
- Like... right now?
Pick a light.
Do what now?
I do this thing with building lights,
stars, what happens to be in view.
See, you look out there
and there's all these amazing lights.
Just a huge smattering of lights.
It's what you do...
So choose one...
and describe what's happening there.
Go ahead. Try it.
Okay.
- So that light, right there...
- Oh, no-no-no, don't show me...
Just tell me.
Is there a manual? I mean I think this would be
a lot easier if there were, like, a guide or something.
I'm your guide.
Do it.
I'm looking at this light...
and I see...
a young boy, sitting in his room...
He's maybe 12.
He just got into this
huge fight with his dad, and...
One of those fights that end up
being bigger than the people having it, and...
This time, he's not so sure that
he'll be able to get past it...
so he just hugs his knees
closer to his chest...
and dreams of some day getting away.
You can really see that?
Good eyes!
Shut up. I'm playing your game.
Don't make fun of me.
I wasn't. You do have great eyes.
Scout's honor.
Yeah, I was never a Scout.
I don't know if I should...
be asking this, but...
I've just really been wondering
how your friend is doing.
He's fine.
- Is he still...
- No, I don't...
at least I don't think he—
I mean, he's on Methadone, so...
So you guys still do
see each other then?
Yeah, we're still friends.
Are you still more than friends?
- Consider me single.
- Good.
... for you.
... and for me.
I don't... really know
how to respond to that.
♫ ["Stop"] ♫
♫ [music continues under dialog] ♫
Mmm... come here...
- Fuck!
- I didn't want to have to do that, okay?
You have to go now. Come on...
now! You have to go.
Oh, fuck!
Oh my God.
- Yeah, get dressed!
- It's too early.
Come on, get dressed.
Don't worry.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for
whatever it is I did last night.
You shouldn't be.
- Can I call you?
- No.
Oh, God!
- Why are you being so loud.
- Fuck! You asshole! How did you even get in here?
That's a good question...
I don't have the answer.
♫ ["Stop" continues] ♫
- What are you doing?
- Getting reading for work.
- Oh.
- Did you just walk by me?
- No.
God, why is your couch
so uncomfortable?
Why did you drink so much
that you had to spend the night on it?
Tou...
- What?
- God, I was going to say "touché"
but I didn't feel like finishing it. Now I have.
God, if by the way, if you hadn't
left me at the party...
I might not have floated back to your place
like an alcoholic blimp.
Where did you go,
anyway?
Wait, how did you
even get in here?
- Why does everyone keep
asking me that? I don't know!
Where's the guitar
you never use?
You don't live here, you know.
Found it!
You seem weird.
What are you doing?
Are you, like, smiling for some reason?
- For real, are you fantasizing about unicorns again?
- Yes, Jake.
Well, I didn't mean to interrupt.
Please continue with your faggotry.
Thanks.
There you go again.
Okay, so... maybe I am just a little more...
whatever, than yesterday.
Yeah, you are...
weirder than yesterday.
Don't talk, just play.
- And so I was thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
- What?
- No meat.
- I know what it means, Jake. Look...
I sorry to say this,
but your meat-eating habits...
are the only thing currently
distinguishing you from lesbian.
Honestly, if you do that, you'll become
a full-fledged carpet-muncher.
- That's so gross!
- It's true!
Nothing against lesbians, you know.
I mean, I have an aunt who's lesbian.
God, I love it. It's like when
that soccer mom in the South is all...
"Seriously, though, I have
a black friend at work."
- You know I was just joking
about lesbians, though, right?
- Totally.
I love them.
♫ You're just across the table,
but we're worlds apart. ♫
So back to me becoming a vegetarian,
you know, animal protein isn't all that good for you.
- I've been talking to Deanna about it
'cause she's, like, a vegan...
- Yeah, well...
- She's also a Wicca?
- Oh, yeah.
Fuck!
- I'm sure I told him 7:00.
- God, he'll be here.
What happened to my drink?
How did you get yours already?
- Did you get sex?
- What?
- Sex on the Beach. I know how much you love
those cunty drinks so I just, like, assumed. - Right.
- What did you think I was talking about?
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- You should be sorry about how much you're sweating.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah... no.
Everything's fine.
Just... a little mix-up.
Darrell borrowed my car
and he's supposed to pick me up,
but he got tied up with something, so...
- Why didn't you just call one of us?
- Yeah...
... no. See... Okay...
He... Okay... Uh...
He forgot to call me ahead of time...
and by the time that I got done with work...
he had no reception
where he was, so...
I kind of waited for, like,
a while, for your phones.
So, how did you get here?
- I just walked.
- You walked? All the way from work?
Yes, I walked.
One foot in front of the other.
It's not that big of a deal.
Can we just, like, move on?
Okay.
Moving on...
So, I met someone last night.
See, I knew it. Now, when you say, "someone,"
like, what exactly to you mean?
- Oh my God, can I take that back? -No.
- I didn't mean to tell you guys that.
Sorry, there's no take-backs at this table.
So, talk about it.
So... the other night when you
left me at the party with Mary C...
So do you take all your...
"dates" to a parking lot?
So this is a date, huh?
No, I didn't mean "date" like that.
I didn't mean to say "date." I...
I know it's not a date.
I mean...
Technically, we just met,
so it wouldn't... even...
I should just stop talking, huh?
- Yeah.
- Under the stars? - Oh my God!
- So what does this mean?
- What do you think? Trevor's in "lurve"... again.
- Very funny.
Oh come on. You guys kissed. I mean in Trevor terms,
you're, like, practically married already.
It doesn't mean anything necessarily,
okay. It was just... really nice.
Well, does it mean you're
finally over Darrell,
because to be honest, I was kind of getting sick
of the whole pseudo-friendship thing.
- It was just wrong.
- Andie, you are way out of line.
I'm sorry. What were
we talking about?
Andie, I'm not having this discussion again.
Darrell's clean, okay. That's all you need to know.
It's really none of your business, anyway.
- Oh, it's not?
- No.
- You've been making it my business
for quite some time now.
- Have I?
- Mmhm.
Okay, well, obviously he's not anymore,
so can both of you please just drop it?
Hi. I'm sorry. My friends are fighting,
so could you bring us some more drinks,
'cause their friendship, like, totally depends on it.
You happy now?
There's more liquor coming, bitch.
- So, it'll be a summer wedding...
- Jake, shut up already.
Hey, so who's your maid of honor going to be?
Me or Jake?
- Great! So you're playing along now too?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh come on, Andie. Don't you think
flower girl's a little more your speed?
Yeah... Even though this conversation is thrilling and all,
I really didn't get much sleep last night, so...
Can we actually, like, go?
- Hey, you.
- Oh, hey.
- Guys, this is, ummm...
- Richard. - ... Richard, right.
- I mean, these are my friends, uh, Trevor and Andie.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hi!
So, wow, you're... you're here.
What are you doing here?
Oh, shut up.
Don't be so silly.
Well, too bad I didn't know
you guys were out here.
I've been bartending all night. I could have
hooked you guys up with something.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry, I'd stay, but I promised some friends
I'd stop by as soon as I got cut, so...
Not a big deal.
We were totally just leaving.
Alright, well, you need to call me, 'cause
I want to go out this weekend.
Alright, well, it was nice to meet you guys—
and you... call me!
- You know, I hate him.
- You're the one who fucked him.
You're right.
I don't hate him.
I hate her.
You're in trouble.
Give me the keys.
- Sorry about earlier.
- Me too.
- Oh my God.
- What?
I know that guy.
He used to be Darrell's dealer...
- So...
... and that's my car.
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
Trevor!
Watching and waiting...
telling time, telling lies, half-truths,
whole truths, and nothing but the truths.
There is no truth,
at least none that I can discern.
Veterinarian's office...
I like that.
See, I've gotten
a lot better at this game.
So, let's play
my game now.
- You have a game?
- Yeah, so it's not so much a game, really.
It's just more like you divulging
personal information, and... go.
Wait, wait wait!
Hold up. Like what?
Like, past relationships?
This is a game!
Okay, what do you want to know?
Just give me the big stuff.
Any particular ex-boyfriends
that I should know about?
Not really.
Come on, just...
think of something.
I don't know...
I guess most of my relationships
have been pretty insignificant.
Seems like a lot of the guys out here
aren't looking for the same thing I am.
And what's that?
Everything.
Destiny.
- No-one's lived up to that yet?
- No.
Not really. Ask me again
in a little while, though. [kisses]
So cheesy!
Aa-ah!
- Think that's funny, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- You think that's funny? - Yup.
Huh, what about this?
Is this funny?
No, not really.
- You're really not ticklish?
- No... nor am I five years old.
I should go get something to...
Don't... just wait a minute.
- You sure?
- Yeaaah.
- God, that was amazing.
- Yeah, I could tell.
Why's that?
Babe, for, like, at least a minute,
you sounded like a 12-year-old cheerleader.
What can I say?
[laughs]
It was very athletic.
[laughs louder]
It's really nice that
you cooked lunch at my place today.
- Where did that come from?
- I don't know.
Just thinking...
It's kind of like we live together.
- Mm?
- Yeah. [laughs]
Did you ever play house
when you were a kid?
- Oh my God, you are a 12-year-old girl!
- [laughing] Shut up! No.
I just was thinking how nice it would be
kind of to... stop "playing" house.
But, babe, I don't think any of the other little girls
would still want to be your friend if you gave that up.
[playfully] Shut up!
[Trevor starts to laugh]
Wait!
What's going on? [gasp]
Are you, perhaps,
truly ticklish?
[giggling] I'm not!
Stop!
Stop it, I'm not.
Uncle!
- What did you say to me?
- "Uncle!"
... to get you to stop.
- But, why did you call me "uncle"?
Are you being for real?
- You don't know what "uncle" means?
- Mm-mm.
- Well, you've never heard that?
- No.
What are you, Canadian?
Dude, it's something that kids say.
- "Dude"?
- Shut up.
Like, I don't know, when they want someone
to stop torturing them. It's like, "surrender."
I thought it was what you called
the brother of one of your parents.
- [sarcastic] Ha-ha.
- I can't believe
you've never heard that.
I can't believe you'd make something like that up
and pass it off as truth.
- Oh..my..G, you're so delusional. Get out of bed.
- It's... my... bed.
I don't care.
You're banished from the bedroom.
Go get something and clean up.
I have spoken...
and earlier you said that I was the boss.
- What an idiot I am.
- That's what I'm saying.
My God, I'm so fat!
- Yeah, I was going to say something earlier.
- For real?
We don't think I'm going to get, like,
a tan or something, do we?
Jake, I keep telling you,
the undead don't tan.
Okay, good, because
I hate that, like, bronzy skin tone.
- You know, like yours?
- Uh-huh.
What are you doing?
Can I have that back?
- No, seriously, what is this?
- Umm.. it's a card.
You just read it, so...
you must know what it is.
Oh, I read it alright. Unfortunately, I can't
process all of the crap pouring out of it.
- It this a poem?
- No.
Okay, maybe.
So?
- You write Ephram poetry?
- I didn't write Ephram poetry.
I don't write him poetry, okay?
I wrote him a poem. One poem.
- Wow, I'm just, like, so grossed out right now.
- Shut up. I just... I thought it would be sweet.
You never?
Whatever... I mean if you ever spent
more than a couple of hours with one of your guys...
you might find that
some of them write poetry, too.
- What would be the point in that?
- Who are you?
- Someone who's obviously more realistic than you.
- Fuck off.
Okay, so listen...
I have got kind of a favor
to ask of you.
Oh God!
- I'm going to regret asking what it is, aren't I?
- I don't know.
Whatever, just tell me,
what is it?
- It's, like, so stupid, not a big deal whatsoever.
I just was thinking...
Jake, come on.
Okay.
So I think I might be pregnant.
Oh my God, I can't believe
this is coming out of my mouth.
I want you to go with me
to get an HIV test.
I haven't been tested in a minute,
so I'm just a little bit anxious about it...
and... I don't know,
I just thought that... you know...
Yeah... I know.
- I should probably go get tested, too.
- Yeah, I mean, who knows what Darrell gave you.
Oh my God, shut up!
Whatever, let's go.
- Now?
- Yeah, they have that new quick response test
or whatever. Like, why wait?
Okay.
Hey, Andie! Want to go
get tested for the hiv?
Ready?
- He's ready!
Yeah, and I'm in a new relationship
which is completely monogamous, so...
Just still staying protected and...
not having sex with anyone else, I guess.
Well, you seem to have your bases
pretty much covered. Alright? See you safe.
- Oh, thank God.
- Good.
So what are some of the ways you think
you could keep yourself at low risk for transmission?
Abstain.
No, um, I think I'll wait
for the blood work.
- Hah, and it's, like, eating itself.
- Your stomach?
No, my ass.
Yes, my stomach.
- What was taking so long?
- Oh, I don't know. There was this mix-up, and then
the lady was, like, talking way too much.
... but can we go? I am starving.
- Hurray, thank-you.
- So you're sure everything is... okay?
- Oh my God, please.
Yeah, but I mean I just came
with my friend for, like, moral support.
- I understand—
- I mean if anyone should have it, he should have it.
- Well, when do I get the results back
for the second test, the blood test?
- Takes 7 days.
You have 12 messages.
Message 1:
- Hey Trev. It's Darrell.
I know you don't want to talk to me but I have amazing—
- Message 2:
Hey, Baby, it's me again. I know it's be—
- Message 3:
Why won't you fucking call me back?
Call me back! I have—
Hmmm, didn't realize
we had any messages.
That's because you never check the machine.
[doorbell rings]
... or answer the door.
- You look good by the way.
- Oh. Thanks. Just finished this one.
Nice.
Hey...
party face!
♫ ["Red Queen" starts
and continues underneath] ♫
I know. I know...
Look!
I'd really like to
get to know you better.
Oh.. yeah...
Um...
I'm going to have to
get drunk now.
Evening, ladies.
♫ ["Red Queen" continuing] ♫
I told him you didn't want to see him but he just
pushed past me. He's, like, strong for a leprechaun.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
We need to talk.
Fine.
Jake, would you mind
closing the door?
Yeah...
Other side.
What do you want?
We... we need to talk.
Yeah, I get it.
Talk about what?
You... Trevor...
You don't understand.
Maybe I don't, but I don't
care to anymore, either.
You're so fucked up, D!
- I know... I know that.
- You don't know.
- Hey, if you knew, you'd change.
- I wanted to, baby, but it's not enough.
I need help. You need to help me!
I don't "need"
to do anything for you.
Okay... but I'm asking you.
I'm pleading with you. Just...
Darrell, we've been through this
so many fucking times now.
Well, maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up,
if someone was actually there for me!
if you were actually there for me!
- Don't you dare try to blame me. Okay, this is not my...
- I'm not blaming you!
- You... are not my fault.
You're the one who can't handle
any of your own problems.
Guess what, Darrell? Everyone's got problems.
Okay? You don't have a fucking monopoly on pain.
I think you like
being an addict, D.
Because you think it leaves you
blameless in some way...
like, you can't be held responsible for your actions,
because you're no longer in control.
Yeah, you're one to talk?
You know what?
I'm not going to be here
for you to fall back on anymore.
So you've got to learn to stand
on your own two feet.
Use those feet and
get the fuck out of my hou—
You're high!?
You're fucking high!?
You come over here to tell me
to help you to change and you're high?
- Get up.
- Hey, baby, don't... don't!
Get up!
- No, Trev, don't.
- Get out!
- FUCK YOU!
- Thank-you!
Whoa, Buffy,
it's me.
You okay?
God, I could hear you guys
yelling from out there.
I mean, I was standing
a little closer to the door, but still...
- I can't believe him.
Honestly, I'm fine now.
You guys...
it's fine, seriously.
Go back to partying.
- Are we leaving?
- Yeah.
Thanks for being here.
I mean, you know,
it's always fun to see Darrell.
Who does that?
- You're really okay, though? I mean if you w...
- I'm fine.
I just... don't understand how
that person used to be my best friend.
My boyfriend, no less.
I don't know.
- What about me?
- What?
- Do you ever feel that way about me?
- Are you kidding me?
Why the fuck would you say that?
I just wonder whether this is
the right time for us. You know?
No, I don't know.
Look... tonight made me
realize something.
Sometimes it's not just about getting over the person.
It's about getting over what they did to you.
And what do you mean by that?
I could hear you guys in there.
- I mean, you sounded so upset, so hurt, and...
- Yeah, so?
So— so maybe you're
not ready for this, Trevor.
- And that's for you to decide.
- No, I...
Look, I know how you feel about me.
I just want to let your know
you have an out.
Are you breaking up with me?
- No.
- Good, well, neither am I, so...
- Do you get what I'm saying, though?
- Yeah, I get it.
Listen, I just want to go inside, okay.
Good night.
Trevor ...
Look, I'm sure he's just freaked out,
all that yelling and screaming. He'll get over it.
It's not even that, I mean,
he thinks I still have feelings for Darrell.
- Do you?
- How could you even ask me that?
After all you've been through, some time apart
could be a good thing. Ephram might be right.
I don't understand this, I mean...
I've going through so much because of Darrell,
and now, even though I've walked away...
It's just not fair.
- Life's not fair.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It's not a riddle. I'm sure you can figure it out.
- Whoa, what is your problem?
Do you ever think that maybe someone else
is going through something too, besides you?
Do you ever think about that?
- I get that this is hard on Ephram, too.
- Wrong!
- Excuse me?
- Not Ephram. Try again.
Um... okay...
Andie, if there's something wrong,
by all means, tell me.
And when would I
have time to do that?
I mean, here, at the Trevor Holden show,
we only have time for one person's problems.
You're kidding me, right?
I mean have you missed tonight's events?
My ex just came over and ruined my party.
OUR party, actually.
And that's kind of my point.
I've pretty much run out of sympathy for you.
I don't know what
your fucking problem is...
but I doubt it gives you the right
to be such a stupid cunt.
What the fuck was that?
Shouldn't you, like,
run after him or something?
- Fucking roommates!
- You don't even live here!
♫ ["Beautiful Lies"] ♫
I feel like I've been
sleepwalking through my life.
I work at an answering service,
for God's sake. It's not right.
Okay, so, what do you think
needs to happen?
- And don't say "sleep."
- How the fuck should I know?
- Maybe you just need to get plugged.
- "Plugged"?
- Yeah, like butt sex.
- Oh my God. Do you even have a soul?
Please, I got rid of that
a long time ago.
- Do you want me to find you someone here.
- Um, yeah, I'm dating Ephram?
I think that you actually have to return someone's
phone calls for it to really be considered dating.
Why do I even talk to you?
- Yeah... I can't see.
- Guess who.
- I'm not playing your reindeer games, so...
- Oh, I thought you liked surprises.
- Yeah... I don't.
- Jakey, I miss you.
- Yeah... Yeah, I've just been
so busy, recording.
- Right, Trev?
- Busy.
So, I mean, we'll have to catch up sometime,
but just, like, not, you know, not now.
Okay, well, uh, don't make me
wait too long. I can't stand it.
Hours are like days without you.
Hours are like days without you!?
Who the fuck was that guy?
Just a... a guy.
- Oh my God, you don't even know his name.
- Well, of course I know his name, I j...
Yeah, I don't know. [both laugh]
You're sick!
I think I'm about to be.
- I'm so glad you forced me out of the house.
- I know, right?
So are we going to talk about
whatever happened between us?
I don't know.
- I guess if you want.
- It's just...
Okay, I can't tiptoe around this.
Were you just pissed off at me the other night,
or this this, like, deeper.
- No.
- No to which one?
Listen...
I don't know.
I just had... way too much to drink and
I shouldn't have said what I said.
I mean. is that what I'm like?
Selfish... self-centered... egomaniacal?
- You CAN stop me at any time,
- No.
Not always.
I'm joking.
Trevor, it really...
wasn't even about you.
I just have a lot...
on my mind.
And, um...
I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend.
Hey, no. I'm sorry.
Shut up and give me a hug.
Okay, so I'll let you know as soon as I hear...
Yeah, I love you too. Bye.
I'm bearing gifts.
- What is it?
- Thai.
Thanks.
Get in here.
- I tried to call but you didn't answer, so...
- Yeah.
Sorry.
- Who was on the phone?
- My mom. - Oh.
How's she doing?
She's fine. She's complaining
about the heat in New York,
and how my dad won't pay to have
an air conditioner installed, because he thinks it's...
Anyway, I don't know why I'm
telling you this. So, shall we eat?
Yeah... um...
I got you Pad See-ew...
and... uh...
steamed mussels...
oh, and that gross soup that you like.
- Thanks.
So, what was it like, the whole, uh,
nuclear family thing growing up?
What do you mean?
Never mind.
Stupid question.
I've seen enough sitcoms to know.
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I really don't know
what I would have done without them.
I think you'll like them.
At least I hope you will,
when you meet them.
Am I meeting them soon?
- I didn't realize they were coming to town.
- I meant, in the future...
that is, if there's going to be one.
Yeah, uh...
about that...
Look, I want to apologize.
I didn't mean to be
such a dick after the party.
I know you were just trying to help.
You have nothing to worry about.
I really do want us to be together.
Good.
- You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that.
- And... I'm sorry if I made you question that.
- No, you didn't. It's just that it's rea...
- Because, I know that I have this tendency to sort of...
- I know. - ... to be really neurotic.
- I know you do.
- And just sometimes it, like...
- It's what makes me love you, like...
What?
Trevor, I'm...
I'm falling in love with you.
[sound of Trevor's heart beating,
continues through the bathroom scene]
Trevor, what the fuck?
I don't understand, I mean...
are you okay?
Is everything okay?
Yeah...
I mean...
I just don't feel well.
- I think it's the food.
- We haven't even started eating yet.
- I'm feeling so weird.
- Look, if this is about what I said, I...
No, it's...
It's just that, like...
the smell of it or something...
- Okay.
- I'm sure it'll pass.
I just need to stay
in here a minute.
Away from the food.
Oh, look, all I was saying is...
You know what? I'm not doing this
through a bathroom door.
[heartbeat sounds end]
TREVOR: Okay, listen...
EPHRAM: I didn't mean to snap at you...
I mean, we were literally
just resolving things, and then
I go and put all this pressure on you
by saying that I love you.
It's just that I rea—
- It's nothing.
- It's nothing?
You know what? I don't even know why I'm apologizing.
I'm acting like I did something wrong.
You know, I think things have been
pretty amazing between us.
And you've pretty much led me to believe
that you feel the same way...
so it's only natural... for our relationship
to progress to this level.
Right?
You can't seem to handle that, Trevor, which is
exactly what I was talking about at your party.
So tell me, what the hell
am I apologizing for?
Wow, Trev...
Thanks for clarifying.
Hey, don't look at— Don't do that.
I just don't know what to say.
Please try and thing of something,
because I can't keep filling in the blanks for you.
- Okay, you're wrong!
- What!?
Not about how you feel, okay,
about how I feel.
I just... I want to do this
the right way.
I guess I just
have to accept that.
I'm sorry about what I said.
[sigh]
Yeah, but... you meant it.
And in a fucked-up sort of way...
it was pretty romantic.
Alright.
Seriously.
Seriously?
I don't get you.
You said you don't know how I feel,
so I'm just trying to clarify.
Can't do this right now.
Could you get off me?
Please.
♫ ["Running from the Sum"] ♫
So, for my last song, I'd like to
play something really different...
and by different, I mean that
this one's mildly uplifting.
This is for my friend. It's to let him know that
I think he's doing the right thing.
♫ ["Lower the Gun"] ♫
♫ We're just across the table,
But we're worlds apart. ♫
♫ Looking back now,
It's clear that we weren't so smart, ♫
♫ But, you found a lover ♫
♫ inside this fighter, and we found God
inside a kick-ass one-nighter. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ But that was long ago ♫
♫ And I owe you money ♫
♫ But business is slow ♫
♫ Sounds kind of funny.
Hey, there you go ♫
♫ calling me honey,
Though I think you know ♫
♫ You'll never see me again. ♫
♫ In the same old house,
Two different people, ♫
♫ Same drops of blood
Still light the path ♫
♫ To what used to be us
Hanging in the hallway ♫
♫ Now just shreds of paper
And shards of glass. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ When you burst through the gate,
I stood up straight ♫
♫ You poured some wine.
I drank yours and mine. ♫
♫ You took my breath,
And tied up my tongue. ♫
♫ Yeah, you were the one
to lower my gun. ♫
♫ You were the one
to lower my gun. ♫
♫ You were the one ♫
♫ to lower my gun. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ But, that was long ago ♫
♫ And I owe you money,
but business is slow ♫
♫ Sounds kind of funny,
Hey, there you go ♫
♫ calling me honey,
Though I think you know ♫
♫ You'll never see me again. ♫
[loud yell]
♫ ["Far Too Deep"] ♫
♫ I close my eyes,
and breathe in deep ♫
♫ and take take a sigh,
'cause I can't sleep. ♫
♫ A thousand times
in my mind ♫
♫ I've said "good-bye" ♫
♫ Conversations in my head
of words unsaid ♫
♫ But you won't disappear
like you're supposed to ♫
♫ You're much too sincere
to let me let go of you. ♫
♫ When I try to walk away,
you call me ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ And you won't listen, do you,
to what they tell you. ♫
♫ There's something missing here,
because I know you. ♫
♫ When I try to turn away,
you touch me ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ You can't help me. ♫
What you reading?
An article about the learning habits
of macaques vs. humans.
- They're monkeys, the macaques.
- Mhmm.
So, tell me...
Yessss?
- What are your thoughts on New York?
- What are you getting at?
- I think we should go there.
- Okay, yeah, sure.
I was thinking sooner,
rather than later.
- I'd have to see if I could get my shifts changed.
- Trevor...
I know this is bad timing... or maybe
it's perfect timing, I don't know, but...
I got offered a position... in New York.
They want me to start in 2 weeks and I mean...
this hospital...
- Yeah, I know.
It'd be such a great opportunity for me,
and it'd be closer to my parents, and...
Trevor, I know this might not seem
like the best thing right now, but I...
No, it... sounds great.
I mean, it's good news, right?
I'd only take the job
if you'd come with me.
ANDIE: He what?
TREVOR: He asked me to go with him.
ANDIE: You mean like drive with him,
help him get settled, all that stuff?
TREVOR: Yeah, but I mean.
ultimately he wants me to move to New York.
I can't breathe.
- Are my lips blue?
- What? No.
Good. These blue lollipops
always do that.
- What do you mean he wants you to move to New York?
- Do I have to answer that somehow?
I mean, you can't just pick up
and move to New York.
Just because Ephram got some position doesn't mean he
can expect you to follow him anywhere and everywhere.
He didn't ask me to follow him anywhere—
or everywhere, for that matter...
just to New York.
Well, Jake's right. You can't just...
leave everything behind in L.A.
I mean, you have a life, too.
Really? If you haven't noticed,
I don't have much going on here.
- Andie, wreck the car.
- Trevor, you haven't even known this guy that long.
Now you're just going to
move to New York with him?
"This guy"? Andie, Ephram and I
have been dating for months, okay?
It's not just some guy. He's been through
so much with Darrell and me.
Well, yeah, but now Darrell's dead.
So, don't you think conveniently
moving to New York is a little like running away.
Andie, come on.
I never said that I was going with him, okay.
Just telling you guys that he asked.
Ephram asking me to move brings up
a very good point. He even said it.
I don't have much going on here.
No career, no family besides you guys.
Basically, when it comes to L.A.,
I'm not even on the map.
He said that about you?
Well, just that I don't have
a career holding me back.
I kind of added the rest for effect.
But it's true. I mean,
you know it is.
Alright.
You're right.
You know it's really cold there, right?
Like, in the winter?
Oh my God.
Hey, Trev, can I talk to you
about something?
No, I'm really busy here...
Of course, go on.
Andie, what's wrong?
Do you know what? I shouldn't even be
doing this right now. I— It's not fair to you.
Shut up!
What is it?
[crying] I don't even know
how to say this...
Oh, God.
I... tested positive for HIV when, uh,
I went to the clinic with you guys.
[crying] I'm HIV positive.
I'm...
That doesn't make sense.
How could...
How could you get it?
From who?
There was this guy...
- What guy, Andie?
- Just some guy.
I got really drunk and...
slept with someone...
and I don't even
fucking remember it...
and I guess...
he didn't wear a condom or...
maybe it broke.
[crying] I don't know.
Why don't I know!?
You can't leave, Trevor!
[Andie crying]
[yell]
That has to be
the best stir-fry I've ever had.
You think anything you put
in your mouth is amazing.
Shut up!
Thanks, though.
Seriously, except my mouth
is kind of on fire.
Sorry, I forgot to tell you,
I made that for a real man.
I think you know
I'm a real man.
Hey Trevor...
- Can I be frank.
- What am I going to be though. Ooh, can I be "Walter"?
- Trevor ...
- Sorry.
- Really? Walter?
- Yeah, I don't know.
Not so much.
Go ahead, be frank.
Damn it, I should have said "baked beans."
"Frank and beans."
- Are you done?
- Sorry.
- Please, proceed.
- Seriously.
for you now.
About New York, I'm not trying to
put pressure on you, in any way...
I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
- What number? - Damn it, Trevor, please.
I'm really sorry.
I'm blaming the wine, I don't know.
I'll be serious.
Honest.
This is the thing.,..
I need you to understand that I didn't just ask you
to come to New York with me on some sort of whim.
The truth is, that before
they even offered me the position...
I was already considering
what the rest of my life would be like with you.
So, when New York came up...
it wasn't a question.
I just couldn't picture myself there
without you.
I can't picture me
without you.
But Ephram...
hypothetically...
if I were to decide not to go...
you can't stay here with me.
No, I know.
I've already decided to take the job, and I want
nothing more than for you to come with me...
but I'm honestly not trying to tell you
how to make your decision. I just...
I didn't want you thinking that my decision
to ask you to come... wasn't a sad one.
I want you with me.
You know I love you.
TREVOR: It's this feeling like
life's just happening... to you...
as if you're not really part of
what's going on.
We're constantly dreaming up
different realities for ourselves, but...
what happens when the reality
seems more like a dream than anything?
You watch yourself living...
and it's like you're helpless...
You can't do anything to change it.
And even knowing, that you're not alone
in this feeling, is no consolation at all.
The fact remains...
It's just no good
sleepwalking through life.
What happened?
Are you in trouble?
- No, I quit.
- Did not!
Way.
TREVOR: As a child...
I always regarded riding in the car
as this sort of... emotional experience.
My father and I
never really got along, so...
when he would pick me up from somewhere
to take me home...
I always felt like he was taking me away
from the places I would rather be.
It was as if I was somehow being forced
to leave something behind.
A part of myself, maybe.
I would spend the entire car ride home,
turned around in the back seat...
watching my happiness
disappear into the distance.
I should probably get out of the car, huh?
Thanks, guys.
I just...
sort of...
TREVOR: I needed to...
ANDIE: Of course.
Go get 'em, tiger.
- This isn't really a time for that phrase, is it?
- No, Jake, it's not.
I hate you guys.
Hi, yourself.
Come here.
Do you hate me?
What? Being late?
Of course not!
Shut up.
I could never hate you.
Not for anything.
- It's just...
- Hey...
What we're doing is good.
I know it.
As hard as this is to do,
I know it's right.
Isn't that supposed
to make it easier?
The best decision is hard,
never easy.
But it'll get easier...
eventually.
It has to.
I love you so much.
- Then we c—
- No.
I just need you to know that...
okay?
Okay.
TREVOR: It was all I could do to keep myself
from jumping out of the car.
If I could no longer be
where I had been...
then at least I could turn my back
on where I was headed.
It was like that
for as long as I can remember....
until one day when
my father finally said something about it.
He said, "Son...
moving forward doesn't always mean
leaving something behind."
It's probably the most profound thing
he's ever said.
Only it too me this long
to finally hear him.
It was the same then
as it is today.
I can't turn around anymore...
and for the first time in my life...
I finally feel like I'm looking
in the right direction.
English subtitle transcription
by BetterShooting at Gmail
♫ ["Rewind"] ♫
It makes me love you like...
What?
- I don't blame you.
- You... are not my fault.
Open the fucking door!
I can't keep filling in the blanks for you!
You're fucking high?
You come over here to tell me
to help you to change and you're high?
Open the fucking door!
Darrell!
Open the door, please.
Open the door!
Darrell!
Open the door!
Open the fucking door!
♫ ["Suburbia Floating" (instrumental)] ♫
[soft moans]
[phone ringing]
[phone ringing]
[ring ]
[on machine] Hey, you've reached Trevor
- ... and Andie.
- We're not here right now, so just leave us a message.
ANDIE: Or whatever.
I'm sorry. Answering machine, what could you
possibly be doing this early? Where's Andie?
Like, since when
has she had a life?
Anyway, I'm just calling to let you guys know
that I got to New York safely.
Um, there's not a lot going on here.
Oh, and you were right. L.A. guys are
so much cuter than the guys here.
Anyway, I guess I better go, so...
I don't know, like,
call me or whatever.
Bye.
♫ [frenetic instrumental music] ♫
Everybody's looking... for something...
someone... everybody.
What makes it interesting, though,
is where they actually find themselves.
I tend to find myself
in the spaces inbetween.
I think I found religion in that moment
right before really you wake up.
When you're still not sure
what's real and what isn't?
Right there.
It's got one fatal flaw, however.
The shitty part...
is that you always have to wake up.
Hey.
So, good news. Your, um...
well, Darrell, he's stable.
I think he's going to be fine.
- Now, are you a relative?
- Not really.
Okay... um...
Oh? Right now he's still
a little groggy from...
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- Right. Well, if you'd like I could
have a nurse show you to where he is.
Technically, you're not allowed into the room...
Technically.
It's okay.
Thanks.
Um...
- Actually, you'll want to go this way.
- No. Actually, I don't.
♫ ["Dirty Numbers"] ♫
[loud yell]
How long does it take?
A minute... a week... a lifetime?
I know that patience is everything, but...
what if people can't really change?
Deep down, what if all we're really capable
of doing is distracting everyone...
from what's actually going on underneath?
[honk] [whispered] Go! Go! Go!
- Huh?
- It's green, faggot. Go.
- Oh fuck, sorry.
- What is your deal?
- Wow. Not wasting any time, huh?
- You've been back in town for, what, all of 15 minutes?
- More like 45, if you count baggage claim.
- Riiight, and you definitely do have a lot of baggage, so...
- Oh, I'm sorry, was that a joke?
because, if you finally made a joke after all these years,
I totally wouldn't remember it.
It really has't been the same
without you here.
God, I know. I mean, look at what happens
when you're left to your own devices.
It was just for a month.
- Excuse me?
- Come on. Andie's already filled me in
on the whole Darrell situation.
It has been a month, right?
Or am I getting my dates wrong?
If she's already filled you in,
you should know that everything's fine.
- Right.
I mean he's on Methadone, he's in out-patient,
and he's been going to meetings ever since.
Oh, wow, cool, 30 days. So it's totally
going to be different this time.
God, Jake!
- He's one of my oldest friends, okay?
- I don't think that...
losing your virginity to someone at age 16
automatically classifies you as lifelong friends.
- Why are you such an asshole?
- Just lucky, I guess.
Hey.
- Where have you been?
- Remember I had to pick up Jake?
Oh yeah...
[yawn]
- Did you just wake up?
- Mm-hmm. I got some pills to help sleep.
In the clinic, baby.
Ah.
- So, you actually, like, "slept" slept?
- Yeah, something like that.
It's cold.
Why don't you go
get in the shower?
- Not unless you come with me.
- I already took one.
- Not with me, you haven't.
No...
- Now you get to make it up to me.
- D...
You're coming with me.
Aah, I'm getting in the shower.
God, it's like, move on already. I mean...
if they're really just friends
they should be trying to meet other guys, right?
Whatever. It's just so pathetic
that he still, like, trusts him.
I mean, I get first love and everything, but, like,
I would never put up with some of that shit.
Oh, hey.
Ow! Fuck!
- Goddamn!
- Wow, so...
Trev, I'm actually glad you're here.
Um, you see the water bottle over there?
- Yeah...
Could you get it for me?
- God, I mean, you're so close to it.
- You're so lazy!
I don't want it bleeding internally.
We're taking a break.
- So what are you guys up to tonight?
The same thing every respectable human being's
up to on a Friday night.
- Chinese food and a movie.
- Riiight!
- You're not joining us?
- Oh, no, Trevor has other plans.
- You do.
Yeah, no...
- What movie you guys going to watch?
- Oh, something stupid so Andie can understand it.
Oh, shut up!
So, Trevor, weren't you,
like, leaving or something?
- I believe I was.
- Great! - Yeah.
Oh, but before I go,
Andie can I get you anything? I mean...
I've never seen you at such a late hour
without a cocktail in your hand. - [sarcastic laugh]
Well, now you have.
Yeah, it's not in her hand,
'cause it's actually on the table.
- Mmm. You know what, shouldn't you be
leaving so we can watch this?
- Fine.
- You two have a lovely evening.
- Mm-hmm, you too.
Bye.
- Give you one guess where he's going tonight.
- God, at least one of us is having sex tonight.
By "us" I mean, like, out of Trevor and me.
God knows you're not having sex.
Hey!
Oh, no, I mean, like,
with another person.
Get off me!
- Are you serious?
- No.
D, it's okay,
we don't have to go out.
Nooo, baby, we can still go.
Just give me a couple minutes, okay?
I'm just so tired.
It's probably... you know,
what they have me on.
mixed with my...
Yeah, shouldn't you only be taking those
when you're, like, having trouble sleeping?
Baby, I'm fine.
Oh, right... but,
you can't even stay awake anymore, so...
I told you...
they upped my Methadone.
Why don't just go get in bed?
Come here, baby.
Come on...
Let's go celebrate.
What are we celebrating?
You and me?
[ring]
[ring]
[ring]
Trev, thank-you so much for coming with me.
You know how I just hate these parties...
probably even more than you do.
Okay, well, so
you hate them more...
You not allowed to help hate me for it,
because my label's making me do it.
- Oh, is that so?
- For real.
Okay, it's cool...
Really it's...
doesn't matter that much.
I'm sure these people are great.
I hate to party, mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm.
- I hate these people.
- [chanting] I hate these people.
- I hate this party. I hate these people...
- Shit, it's Mary C.
Tell her I'm going
to the bathroom.
- That's what you tell her.
- Bathroom. - Bathroom, bathroom...
Hang on.
- Hey, Mary C.
- Not you. Whatever!
Where's your friend at?
Hey! ... You...
Uh, Jake. Bathroom.
Where?
Oh, bathroom, right. You're an actor, right?
Let me get your opinion on something. - No.
So...
Wait, did you just say, "No"?
- Well excuse the fuck out of me, Miss Queen of Sheba...
- I said "no" to being an actor.
- Ohhh.
- I'm not one. What was the question?
- About what?
- If I had been an actor, what is it
that you would have asked me?
Ohhh.
You wouldn't get it.
Probably not.
Well, shit what the fuck is it that you do?
I mean, if you're not an actor...
I'm part of an elite organization
of telephonic representatives... Yeah.
- I answer phones, like, for a living.
- Wow!
Well, that's great.
I mean really.
That's— That's interesting.
Well, good luck with that. Trust me,
hard work always pays off in the end.
You look like you're having
as bad a time as I am.
That depends.
- Did you see that woman I was just talking to?
- Yeah.
- Have you had to talk to her yet?
- No.
Okay, then I win.
My time, so far, has been worse than yours.
It's like... the whole time she was talking to me...
I just kept trying to wish myself back to a happier place.
Like... getting a colonoscopy
or something.
It normally takes me a hell of a lot longer
to work my colon into the conversation, but...
you just, like, right away,
got down to business.
- Mmm, pun intended?
- Always.
- I'm Trevor, by the way.
- Ephram.
- But actually, we kind of met before.
- Kind of?
Yeah, County. I was working the day
you brought your friend in, about a month ago.
Oh.. shit.
- I wouldn't expect you to remember me.
- No... Yeah.
Actually I do.
- I think I might have been a little short with you that day.
- Well, you were sitting down.
A doctor with a sense of humor!
Yeah. Well, I'm still interning, so it'll be awhile
before anyone takes me too seriously.
Well, sorry...
for being an asshole.
- Do you want to get out of here?
- Like... right now?
Pick a light.
Do what now?
I do this thing with building lights,
stars, what happens to be in view.
See, you look out there
and there's all these amazing lights.
Just a huge smattering of lights.
It's what you do...
So choose one...
and describe what's happening there.
Go ahead. Try it.
Okay.
- So that light, right there...
- Oh, no-no-no, don't show me...
Just tell me.
Is there a manual? I mean I think this would be
a lot easier if there were, like, a guide or something.
I'm your guide.
Do it.
I'm looking at this light...
and I see...
a young boy, sitting in his room...
He's maybe 12.
He just got into this
huge fight with his dad, and...
One of those fights that end up
being bigger than the people having it, and...
This time, he's not so sure that
he'll be able to get past it...
so he just hugs his knees
closer to his chest...
and dreams of some day getting away.
You can really see that?
Good eyes!
Shut up. I'm playing your game.
Don't make fun of me.
I wasn't. You do have great eyes.
Scout's honor.
Yeah, I was never a Scout.
I don't know if I should...
be asking this, but...
I've just really been wondering
how your friend is doing.
He's fine.
- Is he still...
- No, I don't...
at least I don't think he—
I mean, he's on Methadone, so...
So you guys still do
see each other then?
Yeah, we're still friends.
Are you still more than friends?
- Consider me single.
- Good.
... for you.
... and for me.
I don't... really know
how to respond to that.
♫ ["Stop"] ♫
♫ [music continues under dialog] ♫
Mmm... come here...
- Fuck!
- I didn't want to have to do that, okay?
You have to go now. Come on...
now! You have to go.
Oh, fuck!
Oh my God.
- Yeah, get dressed!
- It's too early.
Come on, get dressed.
Don't worry.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for
whatever it is I did last night.
You shouldn't be.
- Can I call you?
- No.
Oh, God!
- Why are you being so loud.
- Fuck! You asshole! How did you even get in here?
That's a good question...
I don't have the answer.
♫ ["Stop" continues] ♫
- What are you doing?
- Getting reading for work.
- Oh.
- Did you just walk by me?
- No.
God, why is your couch
so uncomfortable?
Why did you drink so much
that you had to spend the night on it?
Tou...
- What?
- God, I was going to say "touché"
but I didn't feel like finishing it. Now I have.
God, if by the way, if you hadn't
left me at the party...
I might not have floated back to your place
like an alcoholic blimp.
Where did you go,
anyway?
Wait, how did you
even get in here?
- Why does everyone keep
asking me that? I don't know!
Where's the guitar
you never use?
You don't live here, you know.
Found it!
You seem weird.
What are you doing?
Are you, like, smiling for some reason?
- For real, are you fantasizing about unicorns again?
- Yes, Jake.
Well, I didn't mean to interrupt.
Please continue with your faggotry.
Thanks.
There you go again.
Okay, so... maybe I am just a little more...
whatever, than yesterday.
Yeah, you are...
weirder than yesterday.
Don't talk, just play.
- And so I was thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
- What?
- No meat.
- I know what it means, Jake. Look...
I sorry to say this,
but your meat-eating habits...
are the only thing currently
distinguishing you from lesbian.
Honestly, if you do that, you'll become
a full-fledged carpet-muncher.
- That's so gross!
- It's true!
Nothing against lesbians, you know.
I mean, I have an aunt who's lesbian.
God, I love it. It's like when
that soccer mom in the South is all...
"Seriously, though, I have
a black friend at work."
- You know I was just joking
about lesbians, though, right?
- Totally.
I love them.
♫ You're just across the table,
but we're worlds apart. ♫
So back to me becoming a vegetarian,
you know, animal protein isn't all that good for you.
- I've been talking to Deanna about it
'cause she's, like, a vegan...
- Yeah, well...
- She's also a Wicca?
- Oh, yeah.
Fuck!
- I'm sure I told him 7:00.
- God, he'll be here.
What happened to my drink?
How did you get yours already?
- Did you get sex?
- What?
- Sex on the Beach. I know how much you love
those cunty drinks so I just, like, assumed. - Right.
- What did you think I was talking about?
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- You should be sorry about how much you're sweating.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah... no.
Everything's fine.
Just... a little mix-up.
Darrell borrowed my car
and he's supposed to pick me up,
but he got tied up with something, so...
- Why didn't you just call one of us?
- Yeah...
... no. See... Okay...
He... Okay... Uh...
He forgot to call me ahead of time...
and by the time that I got done with work...
he had no reception
where he was, so...
I kind of waited for, like,
a while, for your phones.
So, how did you get here?
- I just walked.
- You walked? All the way from work?
Yes, I walked.
One foot in front of the other.
It's not that big of a deal.
Can we just, like, move on?
Okay.
Moving on...
So, I met someone last night.
See, I knew it. Now, when you say, "someone,"
like, what exactly to you mean?
- Oh my God, can I take that back? -No.
- I didn't mean to tell you guys that.
Sorry, there's no take-backs at this table.
So, talk about it.
So... the other night when you
left me at the party with Mary C...
So do you take all your...
"dates" to a parking lot?
So this is a date, huh?
No, I didn't mean "date" like that.
I didn't mean to say "date." I...
I know it's not a date.
I mean...
Technically, we just met,
so it wouldn't... even...
I should just stop talking, huh?
- Yeah.
- Under the stars? - Oh my God!
- So what does this mean?
- What do you think? Trevor's in "lurve"... again.
- Very funny.
Oh come on. You guys kissed. I mean in Trevor terms,
you're, like, practically married already.
It doesn't mean anything necessarily,
okay. It was just... really nice.
Well, does it mean you're
finally over Darrell,
because to be honest, I was kind of getting sick
of the whole pseudo-friendship thing.
- It was just wrong.
- Andie, you are way out of line.
I'm sorry. What were
we talking about?
Andie, I'm not having this discussion again.
Darrell's clean, okay. That's all you need to know.
It's really none of your business, anyway.
- Oh, it's not?
- No.
- You've been making it my business
for quite some time now.
- Have I?
- Mmhm.
Okay, well, obviously he's not anymore,
so can both of you please just drop it?
Hi. I'm sorry. My friends are fighting,
so could you bring us some more drinks,
'cause their friendship, like, totally depends on it.
You happy now?
There's more liquor coming, bitch.
- So, it'll be a summer wedding...
- Jake, shut up already.
Hey, so who's your maid of honor going to be?
Me or Jake?
- Great! So you're playing along now too?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh come on, Andie. Don't you think
flower girl's a little more your speed?
Yeah... Even though this conversation is thrilling and all,
I really didn't get much sleep last night, so...
Can we actually, like, go?
- Hey, you.
- Oh, hey.
- Guys, this is, ummm...
- Richard. - ... Richard, right.
- I mean, these are my friends, uh, Trevor and Andie.
- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hi!
So, wow, you're... you're here.
What are you doing here?
Oh, shut up.
Don't be so silly.
Well, too bad I didn't know
you guys were out here.
I've been bartending all night. I could have
hooked you guys up with something.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry, I'd stay, but I promised some friends
I'd stop by as soon as I got cut, so...
Not a big deal.
We were totally just leaving.
Alright, well, you need to call me, 'cause
I want to go out this weekend.
Alright, well, it was nice to meet you guys—
and you... call me!
- You know, I hate him.
- You're the one who fucked him.
You're right.
I don't hate him.
I hate her.
You're in trouble.
Give me the keys.
- Sorry about earlier.
- Me too.
- Oh my God.
- What?
I know that guy.
He used to be Darrell's dealer...
- So...
... and that's my car.
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
Trevor!
Watching and waiting...
telling time, telling lies, half-truths,
whole truths, and nothing but the truths.
There is no truth,
at least none that I can discern.
Veterinarian's office...
I like that.
See, I've gotten
a lot better at this game.
So, let's play
my game now.
- You have a game?
- Yeah, so it's not so much a game, really.
It's just more like you divulging
personal information, and... go.
Wait, wait wait!
Hold up. Like what?
Like, past relationships?
This is a game!
Okay, what do you want to know?
Just give me the big stuff.
Any particular ex-boyfriends
that I should know about?
Not really.
Come on, just...
think of something.
I don't know...
I guess most of my relationships
have been pretty insignificant.
Seems like a lot of the guys out here
aren't looking for the same thing I am.
And what's that?
Everything.
Destiny.
- No-one's lived up to that yet?
- No.
Not really. Ask me again
in a little while, though. [kisses]
So cheesy!
Aa-ah!
- Think that's funny, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- You think that's funny? - Yup.
Huh, what about this?
Is this funny?
No, not really.
- You're really not ticklish?
- No... nor am I five years old.
I should go get something to...
Don't... just wait a minute.
- You sure?
- Yeaaah.
- God, that was amazing.
- Yeah, I could tell.
Why's that?
Babe, for, like, at least a minute,
you sounded like a 12-year-old cheerleader.
What can I say?
[laughs]
It was very athletic.
[laughs louder]
It's really nice that
you cooked lunch at my place today.
- Where did that come from?
- I don't know.
Just thinking...
It's kind of like we live together.
- Mm?
- Yeah. [laughs]
Did you ever play house
when you were a kid?
- Oh my God, you are a 12-year-old girl!
- [laughing] Shut up! No.
I just was thinking how nice it would be
kind of to... stop "playing" house.
But, babe, I don't think any of the other little girls
would still want to be your friend if you gave that up.
[playfully] Shut up!
[Trevor starts to laugh]
Wait!
What's going on? [gasp]
Are you, perhaps,
truly ticklish?
[giggling] I'm not!
Stop!
Stop it, I'm not.
Uncle!
- What did you say to me?
- "Uncle!"
... to get you to stop.
- But, why did you call me "uncle"?
Are you being for real?
- You don't know what "uncle" means?
- Mm-mm.
- Well, you've never heard that?
- No.
What are you, Canadian?
Dude, it's something that kids say.
- "Dude"?
- Shut up.
Like, I don't know, when they want someone
to stop torturing them. It's like, "surrender."
I thought it was what you called
the brother of one of your parents.
- [sarcastic] Ha-ha.
- I can't believe
you've never heard that.
I can't believe you'd make something like that up
and pass it off as truth.
- Oh..my..G, you're so delusional. Get out of bed.
- It's... my... bed.
I don't care.
You're banished from the bedroom.
Go get something and clean up.
I have spoken...
and earlier you said that I was the boss.
- What an idiot I am.
- That's what I'm saying.
My God, I'm so fat!
- Yeah, I was going to say something earlier.
- For real?
We don't think I'm going to get, like,
a tan or something, do we?
Jake, I keep telling you,
the undead don't tan.
Okay, good, because
I hate that, like, bronzy skin tone.
- You know, like yours?
- Uh-huh.
What are you doing?
Can I have that back?
- No, seriously, what is this?
- Umm.. it's a card.
You just read it, so...
you must know what it is.
Oh, I read it alright. Unfortunately, I can't
process all of the crap pouring out of it.
- It this a poem?
- No.
Okay, maybe.
So?
- You write Ephram poetry?
- I didn't write Ephram poetry.
I don't write him poetry, okay?
I wrote him a poem. One poem.
- Wow, I'm just, like, so grossed out right now.
- Shut up. I just... I thought it would be sweet.
You never?
Whatever... I mean if you ever spent
more than a couple of hours with one of your guys...
you might find that
some of them write poetry, too.
- What would be the point in that?
- Who are you?
- Someone who's obviously more realistic than you.
- Fuck off.
Okay, so listen...
I have got kind of a favor
to ask of you.
Oh God!
- I'm going to regret asking what it is, aren't I?
- I don't know.
Whatever, just tell me,
what is it?
- It's, like, so stupid, not a big deal whatsoever.
I just was thinking...
Jake, come on.
Okay.
So I think I might be pregnant.
Oh my God, I can't believe
this is coming out of my mouth.
I want you to go with me
to get an HIV test.
I haven't been tested in a minute,
so I'm just a little bit anxious about it...
and... I don't know,
I just thought that... you know...
Yeah... I know.
- I should probably go get tested, too.
- Yeah, I mean, who knows what Darrell gave you.
Oh my God, shut up!
Whatever, let's go.
- Now?
- Yeah, they have that new quick response test
or whatever. Like, why wait?
Okay.
Hey, Andie! Want to go
get tested for the hiv?
Ready?
- He's ready!
Yeah, and I'm in a new relationship
which is completely monogamous, so...
Just still staying protected and...
not having sex with anyone else, I guess.
Well, you seem to have your bases
pretty much covered. Alright? See you safe.
- Oh, thank God.
- Good.
So what are some of the ways you think
you could keep yourself at low risk for transmission?
Abstain.
No, um, I think I'll wait
for the blood work.
- Hah, and it's, like, eating itself.
- Your stomach?
No, my ass.
Yes, my stomach.
- What was taking so long?
- Oh, I don't know. There was this mix-up, and then
the lady was, like, talking way too much.
... but can we go? I am starving.
- Hurray, thank-you.
- So you're sure everything is... okay?
- Oh my God, please.
Yeah, but I mean I just came
with my friend for, like, moral support.
- I understand—
- I mean if anyone should have it, he should have it.
- Well, when do I get the results back
for the second test, the blood test?
- Takes 7 days.
You have 12 messages.
Message 1:
- Hey Trev. It's Darrell.
I know you don't want to talk to me but I have amazing—
- Message 2:
Hey, Baby, it's me again. I know it's be—
- Message 3:
Why won't you fucking call me back?
Call me back! I have—
Hmmm, didn't realize
we had any messages.
That's because you never check the machine.
[doorbell rings]
... or answer the door.
- You look good by the way.
- Oh. Thanks. Just finished this one.
Nice.
Hey...
party face!
♫ ["Red Queen" starts
and continues underneath] ♫
I know. I know...
Look!
I'd really like to
get to know you better.
Oh.. yeah...
Um...
I'm going to have to
get drunk now.
Evening, ladies.
♫ ["Red Queen" continuing] ♫
I told him you didn't want to see him but he just
pushed past me. He's, like, strong for a leprechaun.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
We need to talk.
Fine.
Jake, would you mind
closing the door?
Yeah...
Other side.
What do you want?
We... we need to talk.
Yeah, I get it.
Talk about what?
You... Trevor...
You don't understand.
Maybe I don't, but I don't
care to anymore, either.
You're so fucked up, D!
- I know... I know that.
- You don't know.
- Hey, if you knew, you'd change.
- I wanted to, baby, but it's not enough.
I need help. You need to help me!
I don't "need"
to do anything for you.
Okay... but I'm asking you.
I'm pleading with you. Just...
Darrell, we've been through this
so many fucking times now.
Well, maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up,
if someone was actually there for me!
if you were actually there for me!
- Don't you dare try to blame me. Okay, this is not my...
- I'm not blaming you!
- You... are not my fault.
You're the one who can't handle
any of your own problems.
Guess what, Darrell? Everyone's got problems.
Okay? You don't have a fucking monopoly on pain.
I think you like
being an addict, D.
Because you think it leaves you
blameless in some way...
like, you can't be held responsible for your actions,
because you're no longer in control.
Yeah, you're one to talk?
You know what?
I'm not going to be here
for you to fall back on anymore.
So you've got to learn to stand
on your own two feet.
Use those feet and
get the fuck out of my hou—
You're high!?
You're fucking high!?
You come over here to tell me
to help you to change and you're high?
- Get up.
- Hey, baby, don't... don't!
Get up!
- No, Trev, don't.
- Get out!
- FUCK YOU!
- Thank-you!
Whoa, Buffy,
it's me.
You okay?
God, I could hear you guys
yelling from out there.
I mean, I was standing
a little closer to the door, but still...
- I can't believe him.
Honestly, I'm fine now.
You guys...
it's fine, seriously.
Go back to partying.
- Are we leaving?
- Yeah.
Thanks for being here.
I mean, you know,
it's always fun to see Darrell.
Who does that?
- You're really okay, though? I mean if you w...
- I'm fine.
I just... don't understand how
that person used to be my best friend.
My boyfriend, no less.
I don't know.
- What about me?
- What?
- Do you ever feel that way about me?
- Are you kidding me?
Why the fuck would you say that?
I just wonder whether this is
the right time for us. You know?
No, I don't know.
Look... tonight made me
realize something.
Sometimes it's not just about getting over the person.
It's about getting over what they did to you.
And what do you mean by that?
I could hear you guys in there.
- I mean, you sounded so upset, so hurt, and...
- Yeah, so?
So— so maybe you're
not ready for this, Trevor.
- And that's for you to decide.
- No, I...
Look, I know how you feel about me.
I just want to let your know
you have an out.
Are you breaking up with me?
- No.
- Good, well, neither am I, so...
- Do you get what I'm saying, though?
- Yeah, I get it.
Listen, I just want to go inside, okay.
Good night.
Trevor ...
Look, I'm sure he's just freaked out,
all that yelling and screaming. He'll get over it.
It's not even that, I mean,
he thinks I still have feelings for Darrell.
- Do you?
- How could you even ask me that?
After all you've been through, some time apart
could be a good thing. Ephram might be right.
I don't understand this, I mean...
I've going through so much because of Darrell,
and now, even though I've walked away...
It's just not fair.
- Life's not fair.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It's not a riddle. I'm sure you can figure it out.
- Whoa, what is your problem?
Do you ever think that maybe someone else
is going through something too, besides you?
Do you ever think about that?
- I get that this is hard on Ephram, too.
- Wrong!
- Excuse me?
- Not Ephram. Try again.
Um... okay...
Andie, if there's something wrong,
by all means, tell me.
And when would I
have time to do that?
I mean, here, at the Trevor Holden show,
we only have time for one person's problems.
You're kidding me, right?
I mean have you missed tonight's events?
My ex just came over and ruined my party.
OUR party, actually.
And that's kind of my point.
I've pretty much run out of sympathy for you.
I don't know what
your fucking problem is...
but I doubt it gives you the right
to be such a stupid cunt.
What the fuck was that?
Shouldn't you, like,
run after him or something?
- Fucking roommates!
- You don't even live here!
♫ ["Beautiful Lies"] ♫
I feel like I've been
sleepwalking through my life.
I work at an answering service,
for God's sake. It's not right.
Okay, so, what do you think
needs to happen?
- And don't say "sleep."
- How the fuck should I know?
- Maybe you just need to get plugged.
- "Plugged"?
- Yeah, like butt sex.
- Oh my God. Do you even have a soul?
Please, I got rid of that
a long time ago.
- Do you want me to find you someone here.
- Um, yeah, I'm dating Ephram?
I think that you actually have to return someone's
phone calls for it to really be considered dating.
Why do I even talk to you?
- Yeah... I can't see.
- Guess who.
- I'm not playing your reindeer games, so...
- Oh, I thought you liked surprises.
- Yeah... I don't.
- Jakey, I miss you.
- Yeah... Yeah, I've just been
so busy, recording.
- Right, Trev?
- Busy.
So, I mean, we'll have to catch up sometime,
but just, like, not, you know, not now.
Okay, well, uh, don't make me
wait too long. I can't stand it.
Hours are like days without you.
Hours are like days without you!?
Who the fuck was that guy?
Just a... a guy.
- Oh my God, you don't even know his name.
- Well, of course I know his name, I j...
Yeah, I don't know. [both laugh]
You're sick!
I think I'm about to be.
- I'm so glad you forced me out of the house.
- I know, right?
So are we going to talk about
whatever happened between us?
I don't know.
- I guess if you want.
- It's just...
Okay, I can't tiptoe around this.
Were you just pissed off at me the other night,
or this this, like, deeper.
- No.
- No to which one?
Listen...
I don't know.
I just had... way too much to drink and
I shouldn't have said what I said.
I mean. is that what I'm like?
Selfish... self-centered... egomaniacal?
- You CAN stop me at any time,
- No.
Not always.
I'm joking.
Trevor, it really...
wasn't even about you.
I just have a lot...
on my mind.
And, um...
I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend.
Hey, no. I'm sorry.
Shut up and give me a hug.
Okay, so I'll let you know as soon as I hear...
Yeah, I love you too. Bye.
I'm bearing gifts.
- What is it?
- Thai.
Thanks.
Get in here.
- I tried to call but you didn't answer, so...
- Yeah.
Sorry.
- Who was on the phone?
- My mom. - Oh.
How's she doing?
She's fine. She's complaining
about the heat in New York,
and how my dad won't pay to have
an air conditioner installed, because he thinks it's...
Anyway, I don't know why I'm
telling you this. So, shall we eat?
Yeah... um...
I got you Pad See-ew...
and... uh...
steamed mussels...
oh, and that gross soup that you like.
- Thanks.
So, what was it like, the whole, uh,
nuclear family thing growing up?
What do you mean?
Never mind.
Stupid question.
I've seen enough sitcoms to know.
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I really don't know
what I would have done without them.
I think you'll like them.
At least I hope you will,
when you meet them.
Am I meeting them soon?
- I didn't realize they were coming to town.
- I meant, in the future...
that is, if there's going to be one.
Yeah, uh...
about that...
Look, I want to apologize.
I didn't mean to be
such a dick after the party.
I know you were just trying to help.
You have nothing to worry about.
I really do want us to be together.
Good.
- You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that.
- And... I'm sorry if I made you question that.
- No, you didn't. It's just that it's rea...
- Because, I know that I have this tendency to sort of...
- I know. - ... to be really neurotic.
- I know you do.
- And just sometimes it, like...
- It's what makes me love you, like...
What?
Trevor, I'm...
I'm falling in love with you.
[sound of Trevor's heart beating,
continues through the bathroom scene]
Trevor, what the fuck?
I don't understand, I mean...
are you okay?
Is everything okay?
Yeah...
I mean...
I just don't feel well.
- I think it's the food.
- We haven't even started eating yet.
- I'm feeling so weird.
- Look, if this is about what I said, I...
No, it's...
It's just that, like...
the smell of it or something...
- Okay.
- I'm sure it'll pass.
I just need to stay
in here a minute.
Away from the food.
Oh, look, all I was saying is...
You know what? I'm not doing this
through a bathroom door.
[heartbeat sounds end]
TREVOR: Okay, listen...
EPHRAM: I didn't mean to snap at you...
I mean, we were literally
just resolving things, and then
I go and put all this pressure on you
by saying that I love you.
It's just that I rea—
- It's nothing.
- It's nothing?
You know what? I don't even know why I'm apologizing.
I'm acting like I did something wrong.
You know, I think things have been
pretty amazing between us.
And you've pretty much led me to believe
that you feel the same way...
so it's only natural... for our relationship
to progress to this level.
Right?
You can't seem to handle that, Trevor, which is
exactly what I was talking about at your party.
So tell me, what the hell
am I apologizing for?
Wow, Trev...
Thanks for clarifying.
Hey, don't look at— Don't do that.
I just don't know what to say.
Please try and thing of something,
because I can't keep filling in the blanks for you.
- Okay, you're wrong!
- What!?
Not about how you feel, okay,
about how I feel.
I just... I want to do this
the right way.
I guess I just
have to accept that.
I'm sorry about what I said.
[sigh]
Yeah, but... you meant it.
And in a fucked-up sort of way...
it was pretty romantic.
Alright.
Seriously.
Seriously?
I don't get you.
You said you don't know how I feel,
so I'm just trying to clarify.
Can't do this right now.
Could you get off me?
Please.
♫ ["Running from the Sum"] ♫
So, for my last song, I'd like to
play something really different...
and by different, I mean that
this one's mildly uplifting.
This is for my friend. It's to let him know that
I think he's doing the right thing.
♫ ["Lower the Gun"] ♫
♫ We're just across the table,
But we're worlds apart. ♫
♫ Looking back now,
It's clear that we weren't so smart, ♫
♫ But, you found a lover ♫
♫ inside this fighter, and we found God
inside a kick-ass one-nighter. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ But that was long ago ♫
♫ And I owe you money ♫
♫ But business is slow ♫
♫ Sounds kind of funny.
Hey, there you go ♫
♫ calling me honey,
Though I think you know ♫
♫ You'll never see me again. ♫
♫ In the same old house,
Two different people, ♫
♫ Same drops of blood
Still light the path ♫
♫ To what used to be us
Hanging in the hallway ♫
♫ Now just shreds of paper
And shards of glass. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ When you burst through the gate,
I stood up straight ♫
♫ You poured some wine.
I drank yours and mine. ♫
♫ You took my breath,
And tied up my tongue. ♫
♫ Yeah, you were the one
to lower my gun. ♫
♫ You were the one
to lower my gun. ♫
♫ You were the one ♫
♫ to lower my gun. ♫
♫ ♫
♫ But, that was long ago ♫
♫ And I owe you money,
but business is slow ♫
♫ Sounds kind of funny,
Hey, there you go ♫
♫ calling me honey,
Though I think you know ♫
♫ You'll never see me again. ♫
[loud yell]
♫ ["Far Too Deep"] ♫
♫ I close my eyes,
and breathe in deep ♫
♫ and take take a sigh,
'cause I can't sleep. ♫
♫ A thousand times
in my mind ♫
♫ I've said "good-bye" ♫
♫ Conversations in my head
of words unsaid ♫
♫ But you won't disappear
like you're supposed to ♫
♫ You're much too sincere
to let me let go of you. ♫
♫ When I try to walk away,
you call me ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ And you won't listen, do you,
to what they tell you. ♫
♫ There's something missing here,
because I know you. ♫
♫ When I try to turn away,
you touch me ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ I'm far too deep. ♫
♫ You can't help me. ♫
What you reading?
An article about the learning habits
of macaques vs. humans.
- They're monkeys, the macaques.
- Mhmm.
So, tell me...
Yessss?
- What are your thoughts on New York?
- What are you getting at?
- I think we should go there.
- Okay, yeah, sure.
I was thinking sooner,
rather than later.
- I'd have to see if I could get my shifts changed.
- Trevor...
I know this is bad timing... or maybe
it's perfect timing, I don't know, but...
I got offered a position... in New York.
They want me to start in 2 weeks and I mean...
this hospital...
- Yeah, I know.
It'd be such a great opportunity for me,
and it'd be closer to my parents, and...
Trevor, I know this might not seem
like the best thing right now, but I...
No, it... sounds great.
I mean, it's good news, right?
I'd only take the job
if you'd come with me.
ANDIE: He what?
TREVOR: He asked me to go with him.
ANDIE: You mean like drive with him,
help him get settled, all that stuff?
TREVOR: Yeah, but I mean.
ultimately he wants me to move to New York.
I can't breathe.
- Are my lips blue?
- What? No.
Good. These blue lollipops
always do that.
- What do you mean he wants you to move to New York?
- Do I have to answer that somehow?
I mean, you can't just pick up
and move to New York.
Just because Ephram got some position doesn't mean he
can expect you to follow him anywhere and everywhere.
He didn't ask me to follow him anywhere—
or everywhere, for that matter...
just to New York.
Well, Jake's right. You can't just...
leave everything behind in L.A.
I mean, you have a life, too.
Really? If you haven't noticed,
I don't have much going on here.
- Andie, wreck the car.
- Trevor, you haven't even known this guy that long.
Now you're just going to
move to New York with him?
"This guy"? Andie, Ephram and I
have been dating for months, okay?
It's not just some guy. He's been through
so much with Darrell and me.
Well, yeah, but now Darrell's dead.
So, don't you think conveniently
moving to New York is a little like running away.
Andie, come on.
I never said that I was going with him, okay.
Just telling you guys that he asked.
Ephram asking me to move brings up
a very good point. He even said it.
I don't have much going on here.
No career, no family besides you guys.
Basically, when it comes to L.A.,
I'm not even on the map.
He said that about you?
Well, just that I don't have
a career holding me back.
I kind of added the rest for effect.
But it's true. I mean,
you know it is.
Alright.
You're right.
You know it's really cold there, right?
Like, in the winter?
Oh my God.
Hey, Trev, can I talk to you
about something?
No, I'm really busy here...
Of course, go on.
Andie, what's wrong?
Do you know what? I shouldn't even be
doing this right now. I— It's not fair to you.
Shut up!
What is it?
[crying] I don't even know
how to say this...
Oh, God.
I... tested positive for HIV when, uh,
I went to the clinic with you guys.
[crying] I'm HIV positive.
I'm...
That doesn't make sense.
How could...
How could you get it?
From who?
There was this guy...
- What guy, Andie?
- Just some guy.
I got really drunk and...
slept with someone...
and I don't even
fucking remember it...
and I guess...
he didn't wear a condom or...
maybe it broke.
[crying] I don't know.
Why don't I know!?
You can't leave, Trevor!
[Andie crying]
[yell]
That has to be
the best stir-fry I've ever had.
You think anything you put
in your mouth is amazing.
Shut up!
Thanks, though.
Seriously, except my mouth
is kind of on fire.
Sorry, I forgot to tell you,
I made that for a real man.
I think you know
I'm a real man.
Hey Trevor...
- Can I be frank.
- What am I going to be though. Ooh, can I be "Walter"?
- Trevor ...
- Sorry.
- Really? Walter?
- Yeah, I don't know.
Not so much.
Go ahead, be frank.
Damn it, I should have said "baked beans."
"Frank and beans."
- Are you done?
- Sorry.
- Please, proceed.
- Seriously.
for you now.
About New York, I'm not trying to
put pressure on you, in any way...
I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
- What number? - Damn it, Trevor, please.
I'm really sorry.
I'm blaming the wine, I don't know.
I'll be serious.
Honest.
This is the thing.,..
I need you to understand that I didn't just ask you
to come to New York with me on some sort of whim.
The truth is, that before
they even offered me the position...
I was already considering
what the rest of my life would be like with you.
So, when New York came up...
it wasn't a question.
I just couldn't picture myself there
without you.
I can't picture me
without you.
But Ephram...
hypothetically...
if I were to decide not to go...
you can't stay here with me.
No, I know.
I've already decided to take the job, and I want
nothing more than for you to come with me...
but I'm honestly not trying to tell you
how to make your decision. I just...
I didn't want you thinking that my decision
to ask you to come... wasn't a sad one.
I want you with me.
You know I love you.
TREVOR: It's this feeling like
life's just happening... to you...
as if you're not really part of
what's going on.
We're constantly dreaming up
different realities for ourselves, but...
what happens when the reality
seems more like a dream than anything?
You watch yourself living...
and it's like you're helpless...
You can't do anything to change it.
And even knowing, that you're not alone
in this feeling, is no consolation at all.
The fact remains...
It's just no good
sleepwalking through life.
What happened?
Are you in trouble?
- No, I quit.
- Did not!
Way.
TREVOR: As a child...
I always regarded riding in the car
as this sort of... emotional experience.
My father and I
never really got along, so...
when he would pick me up from somewhere
to take me home...
I always felt like he was taking me away
from the places I would rather be.
It was as if I was somehow being forced
to leave something behind.
A part of myself, maybe.
I would spend the entire car ride home,
turned around in the back seat...
watching my happiness
disappear into the distance.
I should probably get out of the car, huh?
Thanks, guys.
I just...
sort of...
TREVOR: I needed to...
ANDIE: Of course.
Go get 'em, tiger.
- This isn't really a time for that phrase, is it?
- No, Jake, it's not.
I hate you guys.
Hi, yourself.
Come here.
Do you hate me?
What? Being late?
Of course not!
Shut up.
I could never hate you.
Not for anything.
- It's just...
- Hey...
What we're doing is good.
I know it.
As hard as this is to do,
I know it's right.
Isn't that supposed
to make it easier?
The best decision is hard,
never easy.
But it'll get easier...
eventually.
It has to.
I love you so much.
- Then we c—
- No.
I just need you to know that...
okay?
Okay.
TREVOR: It was all I could do to keep myself
from jumping out of the car.
If I could no longer be
where I had been...
then at least I could turn my back
on where I was headed.
It was like that
for as long as I can remember....
until one day when
my father finally said something about it.
He said, "Son...
moving forward doesn't always mean
leaving something behind."
It's probably the most profound thing
he's ever said.
Only it too me this long
to finally hear him.
It was the same then
as it is today.
I can't turn around anymore...
and for the first time in my life...
I finally feel like I'm looking
in the right direction.
English subtitle transcription
by BetterShooting at Gmail
♫ ["Rewind"] ♫
It makes me love you like...
What?
- I don't blame you.
- You... are not my fault.
Open the fucking door!
I can't keep filling in the blanks for you!
You're fucking high?
You come over here to tell me
to help you to change and you're high?