Hillbilly Hare (1950) - full transcript

I like mountain music

good old mountain music

played by a real
hillbilly band

Vacation in the ozarks.

So quiet. So peaceful.

So far from harm
and danger.

So--Huh?

[Laughs]
Oh, murgatroid!

Look what crawled out
of the woodwork.

[Gunfire]

Eh, what's up, doc?



Be all of a Martin,
or be all a Coy, rabbit?

Well, um, my friends say
I'm very Coy.

[Giggles]

A Coy! Square off,
you shote!

Me and you's a-Feuding
on account of I'm a Martin.

Boohoo. Now I'll never see
my wife and youngings again.

Never no more.
Boohoo-Hoo.

Hey, you dern fool!

What's the idea a-Tying
knots in my rifle barrel?

Just call me "freckles."

Well, that's that.

Now to get back to that peace
and quiet I was talking about.

Huh?

Hold on there, critter.



And just
who might you be?

I might be teddy roosevelt,
but I ain't.

I'm Pumpkinhead Martin,

And I see what you all
done to my brother.

Your brother?

Well, glad to know you,
Pumpkin?

Any brother of
your brother is a--

Hold the phone,
long ears.

I'm a-Aiming to terminate
this here feud right now.

Now hold still.

Huh?

That rabbit critter's bound to be
around here somewhere's...

on account of I see
his footy-Prints.

Hey! There's
the varmint now!

[Humming pop goes
the weasel]

[Gunshot]

goes the weasel

[Gunshot]

Persistenent little
cusses, ain't they?

Get him, Pumpkinhead!

We got him cornered, cuz!

He can't escape us now.

Pumpkinhead: Where is he?
Where's the critter at?

Shucks-A-Mighty!

It's so dark in here,
I can't see nothing.

Bugs: eh, let's light up.
Here. Use my lighter.

[Lighter flicking]

The darn thing won't work.

Keep trying!

[Lighter flicking]

I think y'all are using...
too strong a fluid.

We'll get that critter

If'n it takes
until dooms-A-Day.

[Whistles]

[Female voice]
what's your hurry, boys?

Whoa-Hoo-Hoo nelly!

[Wolf whistle]

Y'all care to
"practize" with me

For the square dancing
tomorrow?

Delighted, ma'am.

Same, likewise,
I'm sure, ma'am.

Rrrwww rrrwww.

Oh, uh, pardon me.

One of you gents
got a spare nickel

So as I can juice up
the jukebox?

Here you is.

Ma'am.

Thanks just
all to pieces.

Salibury trio
coming right up.

[Square-Dance music playing]

Let's all square-Dance.

Places, all.

bow to
your corner

bow to your own

3 hands up
and 'round you go

break it up with
a do-Si-Do

chicken in a bread pan
kicking out dough

skip to my lou,
my darlin'

the old lay out,
you pretty little thing

promenade
around the ring

big foot up
and little foot down

make that big foot,
draw it 'round

the lady step back,
and two gents in

back you go
and forward again

step right up with
an elbow swing

skip to my lou,
my darlin'

allemande left with
your whole left hand

follow through with
a right and left grand

meet your honey
with a great big smile

promenade indian-Style

promenade across
the floor

sashay right on
out the door

out the door
and into the glade

and everybody promenade

[Playing fiddle]

step right up,
you're doing fine

I'll pull your beard,
you'll pull mine

yank it again
like you did before

break it up with
a tug of war

[Bugs playing fiddle]

now into the brook
and fish for the trout

dive right in
and flap about

troup, trout,
pretty little trout

one more splash
and come right out

shake like a hound dog,
shake again

wallow around in
the old pigpen

wallow some more,
you all know how

roll around
like an old fat sow

allemande left
with your left hand

follow through with
a right and left brand

now leave your partner,
the dirty old thing

follow through with
an elbow swing

grab a fencepost,
hold it tight

whomp your partner
with all your might

hit him in the shin,
hit him in the head

hit him again,
the critter ain't dead

whomp him low
and whomp him high

stick your finger
in his eye

pretty little ring,
pretty little sound

bang your heads
against the ground

promenade
all around the room

promenade like
a bride and groom

open up the door
and step right in

close the door
and into a spin

whirl, whirl,
twist and twirl

jump all around
like a flying squirrel

now, don't you cuss
and don't you swear

just come right out
and form a square

now right hand over
and left hand under

both join hands
and run like thunder

over the hill
and over the dale

duck your head
and lift your tail

don't you stray
and don't you roam

turn around
and promenade home

corn in the crib
and wheat in the sack

turn your partner,
promenade back

[Thud]

And now you're home.

Bow to your partner.

Bow to the gent
across the hall.

And that is all.

[Plays musical "outro"
on fiddle]