Highway (2017) - full transcript

When her best friend goes missing at a rodeo, Heidi goes on a search across the desert, digging up secrets and encountering the violence of life on the road.

Well, there you go.

No!

No!

Stop. You will do it for me,
and I'll let you go.

Tell me.

I'll do anything you want.

Come here, boy.

Good boy, Butterscotch.

Do you have anything
I can give him?

Anything sweet?

Where did you get this?



Someone left it on their
table at the diner.

You can't give this to horses.

What's it for?

It's made out of
cactus or something.

It's supposed to
open your mind.

Good boy. Look at me.

Do I look like a queen?

'Cause I'm gonna be
a rodeo queen this year.

I'm gonna win that crown and that
Chevrolet that comes with it.

I'm gonna marry Taylor and
we're gonna get a big house.

I believe it.

I'm gonna tour the world,
I'm gonna be a star.

You are a star.

What are you gonna do
when I'm a star?



Seriously, Heidi...

You can't just live
at that truck stop.

Work at that
freaking diner.

Truckers winking at you,
pinching your ass.

Don't you have any dreams?

Yeah. But I like my job.

It's better than
what I had before.

Yeah, well,

that's not enough.

Look.

- I did it.
- What is it?

It's just my thumbprint
in some salt dough.

Spread it with some gold
paint, stuck it on a chain.

It's a necklace.

So Taylor doesn't forget me
when he deploys.

I don't think
he's gonna forget you.

Hey, can you
drop me off here?

- Here?
- Yeah.

You want me to just leave you
here by the side of the road?

I have a friend
picking me up.

Who?

You think you're
my only friend.

Hey.

You're my best friend.

You know that, right?

See you later.

Can I get you anything else
for the time being?

Your number, honey.

Where have you been?

Church.

What did you ask Jesus for?

I don't ask Jesus
for nothing.

Right.

Mmm.

I did whisper
to the preacher once.

I wanted the Holy Spirit
to fill me up.

And be inside me.

You know, everyone's lining up
to say stuff to the preacher

and the girl
sitting next to me said

that's what I should say.

Did you say it wrong?

I think so.

He looked at me
with his bug eyes and said...

"The just shall receive
by faith alone."

You know, I do have faith.

In what?

I know how to get along
with this bad world.

Can I get you anything else
for the time being?

How long have you lived here?

A while.

Ever see this girl,
my Sarah?

Just in the poster
we got here.

I'm sorry.

There's this new girl
that's missing,

um, everybody's out
looking for her

'cause she's some pretty,
rich girl from the city.

Lorna Sage?

You heard about her, right?

Everybody's clean
forgotten about my Sarah.

And she's still missing.

She's my baby.

I'm sorry.

- Heidi.
- Hmm?

This came for you, honey.

Here you go, sir.

Uh, thank...

- Hey.
- Hey.

I still have an hour
of my shift left.

Well, I didn't have anything else to
do, so can I just hang out?

- Sure. Do you want a beer?
- Yeah.

Come.

Are you done with this seat?

So, what's up?

I got a letter.

From my father's sister.

She lives near a Cap'corn,
beside the sea.

Okay.

She runs a hotel.

She sounds so nice.

She found me,
I don't even know how.

So, when are you leaving?

I'm not gonna leave.

I might just
go visit her.

Come on, Heidi.

You should do it.

It's no kind of life living
in that freaking truck stop,

working at the diner and
hanging out with me, here.

Pretty sure she can give you a
job, as well. Right?

Maybe, but...

I'd miss you, though.

Yeah, um...

I gotta keep on working.

Do you wanna hang out later?
I mean, I...

I can wait.
I'll give you a ride.

I said I'd hang out
with Gus and Cherry later.

I gotta clean up.
There's some real losers in here.

- You're just gonna get hassled.
- I don't care.

Okay. Well,

see you in a bit.

Such a bummer ball,
my husband.

I just want to dance.

He's here because of me.

He'd do anything for me.

Come here, baby.

So, what's your story, Heidi?

Hmm...

Let me tell you
about Heidi.

She came to Desert Dior

with this real
piece-of-work boyfriend.

Didn't you, Heidi? Mmm?

Yeah.

How long ago was that?

It was almost five years.

"Almost five years."

We met at a bar, remember?

I asked her
if she wanted to dance.

I was drunk.

I said yes.

Yeah. I feel free
when I'm dancing.

Heidi's a yes-girl.

"Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am."

Yes, Jane.

Do you wanna try some?
Say yes, yes-girl.

- It makes you know things.
- No.

Yes. Yes, girl.

- No. No!
- Yes, yes-girl.

Whoa.

No.

Are we going to this
party in Clay City or what?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wake up, wake up,
wake up! Wake up. Look!

Taylor proposed.

Look.

Can you see?
It's a dolphin.

I opened the door,

and he was on his knees.

In his ACUs.

Isn't that romantic?

Yeah. It is.

We have to get married
this weekend.

He's going away.
It's the only chance we'll get.

You know, there are all sorts of
benefits once you get married, Heidi.

And I can go and live
in that base at Fort America.

Have you ever seen
these houses?

They're so freaking huge.

Well, I'm not gonna have to
work in that casino anymore.

Fort America's 100 miles away.

No, it's like
an hour drive.

Yeah, in a Black Hawk maybe.

What do you care if I go
and live in Fort America?

I won't ever see you.

You're leaving town anyway.

Jane, will you stop this?
I'm not leaving.

I'm just saying.

After you.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

My God. Okay.

What's happening, Taylor?

Oh, my God.
Heidi, come here.

Come, girl.
Are you kidding?

- Are you freaking kidding me?
- Don't be mad.

- I'm not... Oh, my God.
- Don't be mad.

- I can take my truck. I'll get a ride.
- Thank you, Heidi.

I cannot believe
this, Taylor.

I cannot believe you would
do this on our wedding day!

For God's sakes.

- I can explain.
- What the hell happened?

Can you tell me?

The guys and I were doing some
donuts in the parking lot earlier.

- Just don't be mad.
- On our wedding day?

Are you freaking kidding me, Taylor?
What the hell's wrong with you?

- Will you calm down?
- For sure.

- You're gonna fix it, right?
- I'll fix it.

Oh, well, you've said
that before.

I've heard you say that
three weeks in a row.

- And look at our car now.
- That's not even true. That didn't even happen.

Jesus Christ.

For God's sakes.

For crying out loud,
Taylor, hurry up.

Rainbow.

I guess I'll take this
opportunity to give this to you.

Thank you, sir.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks, man.

Okay, here it goes.

I'm gonna
miss you so much.

Yeah. Me too.

It's you
I'm gonna be fighting for.

You're not going
to a real war, Taylor.

What?

I said you're not going
to a real war, Taylor.

You're just putting out fires
and starting new ones.

It's all just pretend.

I don't think
you know a lot about it.

Well, I know things
without being told, you know?

Like what?

Like what your dreams are.

What you are thinking.

And what am I thinking?

You're thinking...

...about the life
we're gonna have together.

You're right.
Yeah, I am.

But you don't know
what I'm thinking.

Do you?

You don't have that gift.

Can I help you?

You wanna go out sometime?

Oh, you can't think
of a reason to say no.

I just didn't think it
would be polite to tell you.

Something wrong with me?

I'm sure you're fine.

I got it.
You think I'm, um,

a little too old for you.

Maybe.

Oh! Ow.

Well, sometimes that's a good
thing for a girl like you.

You seem very sure of what I
should and shouldn't be doing.

You're not from
around here, are you?

No.

I'm not.

Neither am I.

We're outsiders.

Hey.

Come in.

The house is great.

My neighbors are real sweet.

There's a clubhouse.
You can play bridge.

So I said,
"I can play 21."

Yeah.

They don't play 21.

My neighbor, Cheryl,

her husband's in E3.

You know, I can give you
a ride any time you want.

No, it's fine.

The car will be fixed soon.

You ready for the rodeo?

I'm gonna be the queen.

That other girl has never
even barrel-raced before.

She's just a pageant girl.

You know that guy, Lyle?

Cowboy, he's been
hanging around the diner?

The one with
the wedding ring?

I don't think he's married.

Then why would he
be wearing a wedding ring?

He asked me out.

Sure he did.

I'm sure you said yes.

I might say yes.

He wasn't wearing
a wedding ring.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

You wanna stay with me
when Taylor is away?

No. Thank you.

You know,
things are different now.

What's different?

What the fuck
is wrong, Jane?

Don't you get tired

of feeling totally
powerless sometimes?

Every time a trucker or a loser just
looks at you and says something stupid

and grabs your tits
and grabs your ass?

You like that guy.

He's fine and nice.

You think he wants to take
you home for a soda, honey?

I get it, Jane.

But he's not that guy.

Maybe.

Maybe you are
just different.

It's all different now.

Maybe you and I have
always been different.

We always have been.

But we need each other.

I don't need you
anymore, Heidi.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to
the Desert Rolling Rodeo.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Come here.
I want to show you something.

You want some?

Oh, no. I already had a beer
before you got here.

I only allow myself one.

So you really a cowboy?

I grew up with horses.

Recently, I'm learning
how to rope.

You mean like a hobby?

Yeah.

Are you rich?

No.

Uh... I mean, I do fine.

Okay, you're right.
I'm not a cowboy.

So what do you do
for a job?

I'm out here
setting up a center.

What sort of center?

Uh, customs, immigration,
border control.

Uh, we set up
little villages for people

while they're waiting to have
their deportation cases heard.

Oh, so, like the government?

You setting up one of those
holding pens for Mexicans?

All right, if you wanna call it that, fine.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

All right, I get the politics,

but you can't have people
just come in here illegally.

It has to be organized.

Are you...
Aren't you Mexican?

What does that
have to do with anything?

Why do you do that job?

I deal with everybody.

Just like you.

Oh, glorious,
the stars and stripes.

The red, white and blue.

This gal has been around
a lot of years

and she's seen a lot

and she has endured a lot.

If she was able to speak
she'd say,

"The red in my fabric stands for
the self-sacrificing courage.

"The white stands for
liberty and justice.

"And the blue,
the blue of heaven

"stands for loyalty and faith."

We may love our country,

but we want something
better for ourselves.

She stands tall
in her boots

to bring strength

and pride.

For those who struggle with
the reality we're living in...

Who thinks

they were born
for more than this?

Who believes the American
Dream has been twisted?

The American Dream
has been taken away from us.

The American Dream
has been taken away from me.

The past is poison.

Congratulations.

For what?

It's a goddamn consolation
crown I didn't win.

Doesn't matter.
They can all go to hell.

I'm done.

I want a real one.

A real crown?

Yeah.

A real crown.

Oh, what?

Whoa!

Whoa. Howdy there.

What's that there for?

It's there so I wouldn't
take off my shirt.

Whoa.

What happened to you?

Oh, that's...
That's just there

to keep me from
taking my shirt off.

I had an operation.

- Yeah?
- Mmm.

Why?

Well, they took out
my entire stomach.

If you can believe that.

- Your whole stomach?
- Mmm-hmm.

What happened?

I collapsed in the shower.

And when they
took me to the hospital,

the doctors said, "Well,

"you're gonna die.

"You have a huge tumor.

"I mean, we could try something
but even that's a risk."

Damn. I'm sorry.

So I didn't die...

But I'm like an old car.

They just
pieced me back together.

And I gotta go back
to the shop all the time.

And that means...

I have got to chew my food!

Do you think she's okay?

That girl?
She'll be fine.

Mmm.

Hey, it's Jane.

I can't pick up the phone,
so leave a message after the tone.

Hey, Jane.
Give me a call.

I'm worried about you.

Jane.

Jane?

Weren't you friends?

Not really. She didn't seem like
she wanted to be friends with the wives.

So you don't think
she's been home, or...

I don't know.
I saw her taking the bus last week.

What bus?

I know, right?
There ain't really a bus.

You have to flag down
a Greyhound.

Who does that?
We have cars.

Where do you think
she was going?

Beats me.

How's it going? This is Taylor.

Sorry I couldn't get
to the phone right now.

Leave your name,
I'll give you a call back.

Hi, Taylor. It's Heidi.

I'm at your house.

Can't get hold of Jane.

Give me a call.

McKane Auto Repair.

Hi. Did Jane...

Did she pick up
her car from you?

No, it's ready and all.
Are you gonna come get it?

Heidi, where are you?
Where do you want to meet?

Let's meet
at the casino.

I want to see
if anyone's seen Jane.

Don't worry about her.
That girl was cruel to you.

She doesn't mean it.

I'll get us a room.
I miss you.

I'll see you there.

Uh, I am going to stay.

- Hey!
- Hey.

Hey.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

I'm great.

- What?
- Are you okay?

Yeah, I am. Great. Why?

This is Cherry.
Cherry, Heidi, Cherry, Heidi.

We met before.

Didn't you say
you're not supposed to drink?

I'm gonna get you
what you want,

which is a beer and not one
of these cherry whatevers.

I'll be right back.

I'm gonna take my money.
I'm gonna take my money.

- Oh, shit.
- Whoa.

Have you seen Jane?
Has she been here?

You mean since she quit?

Yeah.

Maybe she's on vacation.

She's not on vacation.

Why do you
care about her so much?

Don't you have
somebody you care about?

Somebody you love?
A friend?

Hey, where do you get
that green cactus stuff?

Why? You want some?

There's two types of people
in this universe.

You're one kind,

he's the other.

I know you, Heidi.

You'd break yourself
backwards for someone else.

For Jane.

And he...

He'll always be okay.

'Cause he looks out
for himself.

You are so fucking wrong.

I'd do anything for her.

Come on,
let's get out of here.

Thanks for the play.

Thanks for the tip.

Take care, Heidi.

- Sorry.
- Excuse me.

- Hey, what are you doing? Stop it.
- This is Jane's.

- Did she give it to you?
- Cherry made it for me.

Hey.

Shall we go up to the room?

What's the room number?

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Come on.

Oof.

Fuck.

Does your wife know
what you're doing right now?

The things you say to me?

No.

But it's not...

We're friends.

When I was sick...

She stopped looking at me
like I was a man.

And you...

You look at me like...

What I am.

Or what I used to be.

I could help you, you know.

I can help you
get set up somewhere.

I don't need to be
set up anywhere.

People take advantage
of girls like you.

You don't have family,
you don't have money.

And they end up doing things.

No, I've seen it. I know
what I'm talking about.

Come on.

Bye.

Hey.

Where's Butterscotch?

What?

The horse that's
usually here.

I don't know.

I'll pay you if you tell me
what I want to know.

Yeah? How much?

Hundred dollars.

Somebody took off with him
about a week or so ago.

Who took off with him?

Some guys that
work for the boss.

Who's your boss?

I don't know his name,
I just call him "Boss."

He just comes, he finds me,
and he gives me jobs sometimes.

Where can I find him?

Um, some of the guys say
he lives up near the mines.

- Which mines?
- Gypsum mines.

He's a big guy
and talks kind of funny.

Did you ever hear of some rich guy
who lives out near Gypsum Mines?

No.

Big guy?

Fat or tall?

I don't know.

There are all kinds of weirdos,
stay out there,

sleeping in the caves.

Protecting their land.

She's about 5'7",

and she has
long, brown hair.

She lives up at
the base in Fort America,

but she's not there, and...

Her back door was open.

And her neighbor says that
she hasn't been there in days.

I can't get a hold
of her husband.

She's not a kid.

She's not a runaway,
no, she's...

She's missing.

Mrs. Ruiz.

Mrs. Ruiz.

Hi.

What's your name again?

Heidi.

Like the cartoon.

Have you heard from Jane?

Why would I?

Little switch got
everything she wanted.

She's not even showing up
for church anymore.

They said it's better

if a family member
fills out the report.

What report?

A missing person's report.

"Missing person's report"?

Are you a crazy girl?

I don't need any cops around.

Jane ain't missing.

Hey, Heidi.
There's a phone call for you.

- Who is it?
- Some woman.

Jane?

Heidi? It's Marina.

- Your aunt. Lily's sister.
- My fa...

Hi, Marina.

Did you get my letter?

Yeah, I did.

Well, that's great.

- How are you?
- I'm okay.

Hello?

Yeah. Hey, sweetie, I'm here.

So are you gonna
come visit?

I'd love to see what
a child of Lily's looks like.

My friend's gone missing.

What do I do?

How do you know
she didn't just wander off?

Well, she left her car.

Her house, all her things.

- She wouldn't just leave.
- Well...

What did you do first

when Sarah went missing?

I didn't realize Sarah was
gone until it was too late.

But you're still looking.

I'm searching for her bones.

When the posters
first went up,

some guy called who said,

we'd find her a few miles north of
here, where the railroad used to run.

Someone else called and said
we'd find her down a mine.

We found some clothes
that might've been hers.

Heat of the day,

it's cool in the nights.
Destroys anything that could be helpful.

Then there's the gossip.

Someone said they
saw her on a bridge.

I stopped listening
a long time ago.

There is only one way
she could've died.

One place she could be buried.

The desert,
it'll swallow you up.

Stop it.

Shut up.

You're a nightmare.

Hold the food.

Well, we don't
give out information.

See, that's our whole deal.

I know
she bought a gun here.

People have a right
to their own privacy.

- That's stupid.
- It's not stupid.

It's the Fourth Amendment
to the Constitution.

Now, maybe your friend
deserves her privacy.

Maybe she's trying to protect
herself from somebody.

That's why people buy guns.

This is someone
who didn't need a gun.

Who, as far as I know,

wasn't in danger
from anybody but herself.

Show me your hand.

It's all right.
I'm not gonna bite you.

Show me your hand.
Right there.

Mmm. You've been
having dreams.

You are in trouble.

You best stop looking for your friend.
She's the trouble.

Where is she?

The more you look for her,
the worse your dreams will get.

I remember her.
Oh, yeah.

Heading for Clay City,
said she's gonna set the world on fire.

Jane's always saying
things like that.

Well, I've got a .38 special.

Thank you.

Fit that pretty little hand
just like a glove.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey.

How are you?

- Good.
- Yeah?

That is Jane's, isn't it?

No. We all made them
for each other.

Everybody. We all
made them for each other.

Is she alive?

She's in a better place.

You okay?

I got something
that'll help you find Jane.

No.

- You'll love it. Just try it.
- Can you tell me what...

What happened to her?

I won't tell you what happened,
you'll just know.

You'll just know.
Come on.

Take me with you.

We're home.

That's Ren.

You'll meet him.

Jane's here.

I can feel her.

It makes you know things
without being told.

It makes you
know the truth.

This place,

the infusion.

It makes your dreams feel just
like they're real, like they're

happening right
in front of your eyes.

Ren says it helps you
deal with your traumas.

I had a dream like this.

I keep having this dream.

In the dream, I died.

I'm at a motel...

It's different.

Staying in this room with a
balcony overlooking water.

I have a glass
of whiskey in my hand.

Someone's behind me.

I fall... No.

I'm pushed.

My neck's twisted.

I died.

I die...

Looking up
into their face.

Who pushed you?

Jane?

I've been looking for you.

Why?

Because you're
my best friend.

And I love you.

Don't worry, honey.

We're all friends here.

Everyone is here
because they wanna be here.

You've taken these people.

- What?
- You've taken these people.

You chose to come here.

You asked to come here,
didn't you?

Heidi,

there are two types
of people in this world.

Those who are lost
and powerless,

and those who have found
their place and their power.

Which are you?

- I'm...
- You're lost, aren't you?

You've been rushing around
trying to please everyone.

You don't have to
do that anymore.

So you feel at home.

You can be
part of something.

You can have power.

We're a family, Heidi.

If someone harms us,

we deal with them.

- Close the door, lady.
- Hey.

Get the hell outta here.

You can stay, you know.

If you want.

What do you want?

Do you want a family?

Yes, I do.

I feel your pain.

You've been hurt.

Do you know how I know?

I felt the same pain.

That dark, hidden pain.

You didn't have
a real father, did you?

No.

And your mother?

She died.

You don't know how
to receive love.

You don't recognize it.

You don't know
how to fully give in.

You're always knocking
on the wrong door.

Because you've never
been shown the way.

What is this stuff?

It opens your heart.

And your mind.

It makes your dreams
come true.

You need to improve.

I am.

I was talking to Ren.

Talking about how you're not
living up to your full potential.

Cherry, that's bullshit,
and you know it.

- Okay, I've reaped more than anybody here.
- Like...

Let's give Heidi a go.

What, you've never
shot a shotgun?

I have.

Nice.

I just don't like them.

Flower can't go into town.

She has to be back here.

Maybe you can do it.

I'm just saying, I don't want to
go see Bobby. It should be a girl.

Maybe Jane
should go.

Jane, you can go.

You good, Heidi?

Mmm.

I feel you.

Yeah,
I definitely can go.

I think she's come
the longest way so far.

Honey's feeling stronger
than she ever has.

I can feel
her strength growing.

She's learning more
about herself and her body.

Isn't that right, Honey?

Flower's commitment to her
family is stronger than ever.

And we belong
to each other.

How about Heidi?

Is anyone feeling Heidi?

Rainbow?

Heidi...

Heidi wants to be
part of our family.

But she's scared

and suspicious.

She lives in the past.

The past is poison.

The past is poison.

The past is poison.

She's weak with fear.

We don't use
such negative words, Rainbow.

Get the hell off me.

Get off me, pervert!

Don't touch me.

Hey!

- Get the fuck back in here!
- Get off of me.

Heidi.

You're a diamond.

- I'm a diamond?
- You're a diamond.

That's mine.

We share everything,
Rainbow. You know that.

That trick doesn't
seem to work on me.

- You can't.
- I can do whatever I want.

I want to dance
on my own, Jane.

We should go.

I'm not leaving.

Jane...

How long have you even
known these people for?

I need to take care of Butterscotch.

Jane, I'm not
leaving you here.

I, Jane Briana Ruiz,

deserve better
than what I got.

You did fine.

I didn't.

You might as well have buried me
in that house in Fort America.

Let me tell
you something, Heidi.

I want you to understand.

We don't have to take the bullshit
that is out there, we don't.

We don't have to be treated like
something that someone just steps on.

I spent my whole life

trying to smile at someone
for a casino chip.

Fucking someone for dinner.

Little humiliations.

Little humiliations
here and there.

Men using me.

People using me,
men using me.

Telling me who I am.

Jane, I get that, too.

No.

It happens.

Now I'm the boss.

No, you're not.

Ren is.

All that stuff,

geez, it's still
happening to you.

He's shown us our own strength.
Do you want that, Heidi? Do you want that?

Don't you wanna feel that power?
Do you wanna feel it?

That stuff, that drug makes
you think that you have power,

but it's a trick.

It's not real.

No.

You've tried it.
You've tried it, you know it.

It pulls you into everything,

and it makes you
know everything.

Yeah, you...

You just...

You just don't get it.

And that's a shame
'cause Ren thought you did.

Fuck that, Jane. Fuck that!

- Come on.
- Leave me.

This place is
fucking dangerous.

It's fucking dangerous!

You're being used.

Hey. If you come with me...

I promise...
I promise you,

we'll go to Cap'corn.

Hey. You wanted
to be a star.

We could do that.

Come with me.

There's nothing for me there.

- No, come on, just come with me.
- No.

- Get off me.
- No, come on, Jane.

- Let's go. Let's...
- Get off me!

If you disappeared,

no one would even notice.

I was the only person who
noticed when you disappeared.

You don't have
any power, Jane.

Bye.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

You wanna come with me?

I'm good right here.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you know this woman?

Was she famous?

- Do you know her?
- Kind of.

I knew her as Sarah.

I don't remember her.

People just drop them off.

We use them as wallpaper.

If you're a fan, I mean,
you can have it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Go ahead, take it off.

We'll put another one up.

What's her name again?

Sarah Fields.

Hi. I'm...
I'm looking for Marina.

Oh, my God.

You're Heidi.

- Marina?
- Yes.

Well, come here,
let me hug you.

Lily's daughter.

You're so gorgeous.

If you know restaurants,

you can do something
with this place.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Well, I don't know
who'd eat there.

I would.

How did you end up
in that place in the desert?

I went there with a boy, and...

Once we got there,
he wasn't so good.

Well, I'll tell you
what I've learned.

'Cause I know this well.

Hurtful acts are the
transference to others

of the degradation that
we bear in ourselves.

He only hurt you
because he was hurting.

Are you religious?

Not really...

But yes, yeah...

I am.

I'm waiting.

I mean, the only thing
that I really know about God

is that he is
what we are not.

And every sin
is an attempt

to fly from emptiness.

Something like that.