Highland Park (2013) - full transcript
A high school faculty lotto pool places its fate in the lucky numbers they've played for ten years after hearing budget cuts have eliminated all their jobs.
Highland park,
known as the hubcap
of the mighty industrial wheel
that is Detroit,
celebrates its fabled past,
birthplace
of the production line,
the new idea that hard work
an ingenuity
have created
the mightiest economic engine
in human history,
one capable of providing
nearly everyone
the benefits
of a well-paying job.
From farmland
to cradle of the American dream
in just half a century.
On the move as always,
this town of tomorrow
looks forward
as it pauses to look back.
Where the statue of Liberty
once welcomed those
in search of hope,
highland park's main library
now stands
as the beacon
of civic pride
to millions
in search of opportunity.
Highland park civic leaders
have left nothing to chance...
♪ ♪
Incumbent mayor Shirley paine
still leads the polls,
despite her announcement
of biding
new austerity measures.
The further cuts in funding
for firefighters,
nursing staff,
and school programs
highlight highland park's
ever-deepening financial crisis
and raise more questions
about spending priorities
as well as the mayor's award
of expensive contracts
to close associates.
When asked why she allocates
millions to vanity projects
like the new stadium
while failing to maintain
our crumbling infrastructure,
the colorful mayor scoffed
at hints of misconduct,
stating that monumental problems
facing the city
demand leadership
with shiny, big ideas
that get people's attention,
not unsexy projects
like storm drain maintenance.
She reiterated
her campaign promise
to create jobs by fostering
large-scale developments,
like construction
of a fashion outlet mall
on the site where the city's
main library now stands.
She defended plans to demolish
vacant structures
to eliminate the cost
of policing
the sparsely populated...
Come on, kids.
Let's all gather round.
Let's go!
Let's go, men.
Listen up.
Take a knee.
- Lloyd, with waterford,
that's 1,261 plants shut
since they closed
the main library.
- I guess I should be
more realistic.
- Well, you've only been
out of school a little while.
If you still want to sing
in a couple of years,
we can look into a program.
But until then, I would not
give up my day job.
- She will not stay the siege
of loving terms,
nor bide the encounter
of loving eyes,
nor open her lap
to Saint-seducing gold.
But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?
- Jesus Christ.
You know, do me a favor
and run your line over
a few times.
- Hey.
Christ.
- What the hell
are you doing, man?
- You see this?
These old furnaces,
elegant and simple,
can work forever.
None
of that disposable technology.
- Well,
then why isn't it working?
- Because it was installed
during
the hoover administration.
And somebody's got
to maintain it.
- You know what, you were fired
two years ago, ed.
Why are you still here?
- Retired.
I retired.
- Okay.
- Yeah, you want to freeze
this winter?
Oh, psh.
Come on, it's time to go.
Yeah, I'll drive.
- You're killing me.
You're absolutely
killing me.
- You're already dead.
- Shit.
Hey, principal Howard.
- Hey, Jess.
What are you doing
with the bus?
- Oh, uh, transmission
went out on the Ford,
and with the twins' birthdays
coming up,
I just figured, you know,
I'd drive the bus...
One of the parents drives by,
sees the school bus
parked in front of a bar...
- Yeah. No.
I got it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I'll get it moved
right away.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
Switch the channel, hal.
- Oh, we got time.
What about the moose?
- Hey, guys.
- Yeah, I'll fix it
when I get back.
- Yeah, it's just that,
you know,
he's kind of freaking out
the patrons
with the, uh,
one eye and everything.
- Hey, hal, the tube.
- Yeah, ain't like
it's going anywhere.
Welcome to mega millions
with mega jackpot and...
- Sorry.
That's my stool.
Once again,
it's lucky Thursday.
- Hey, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
I'll get you another drink.
If not in this life,
the next.
A path to your door.
After a short break, we...
- Ed...
Is that stool
really that important?
- Yeah.
- There you go.
- How is it possible that,
after ten years,
you still think
sitting on that stool
is gonna make
any difference?
- Hey, come on, man.
It hasn't been that long.
- Shaun, we started playing
these numbers
in the friggin' '90s.
Earn your business,
a dollar at a time.
Welcome back.
- And your meatloaf.
- Thank you, hal.
This week's drawing is
the second-biggest jackpot
in state history.
The lottery provides support
for schools...
- Oh, yeah.
Some support.
We alone spend thousands.
They just keep cutting programs,
funding.
- Like, thousands of dollars?
- Yeah, Jessie, dollars.
12 tickets a week
for over a decade.
That's over $6,000.
Good luck, everyone.
Your winning numbers are...
49.
- Oh...
- Whoo!
- That's what
I'm talkin' about.
Next is 38.
Next, we have 44.
And that's followed
by 48.
And now,
tonight's gold mega ball is...
13.
- Fuck.
If no one wins this one...
- And I guess
I didn't miss anything.
- Nope.
- Next week's jackpot
will be a record
of over $250 million.
Remember,
the future's in your hands.
Tonight, we're reporting
on mayor Shirley paine's
controversial plan
to demolish
the historic main library,
once the heart
of highland park's civic core.
She had this to say about plans
for a new fashion center mall
to replace the 90-year-old
Mozart structure.
- Isn't that wonderful?
The mayor says
she'll utilize
a $150,000 federal Grant,
originally earmarked to study
the library's restoration,
to instead demo the...
- Is, um...
Anybody else
questioning these numbers
we've been playing
for over ten freakin' years?
Ed, I understand.
You know, your old man
won that sweepstakes
with the 12 lucky tickets.
- One for each apostle.
- You don't even
believe in religion.
- I believe in fate.
- So we were fated to play
6,000 lotto tickets
and not win a dime.
- Starting to sound like
you're blaming me for something.
- I'm not blaming you, i...
but...
Let's look at this.
Does anyone consider these
might be our unlucky numbers?
I mean, 12 and 13.
Well, those are for
your anniversary, right, Jess?
- Yeah.
Why?
- How long
you been divorced?
- Hey, I happen to like
my birthday.
- I got no problem
with your birthday, Toni.
Ed's birthday...
- It wasn't my fault
I was born the same day
as Hitler.
Oh.
- No, it wasn't.
It was fate, right?
I mean, all I'm saying
is that, uh,
guys, none of US
have any money
to waste anymore.
I know it's just
a couple of bucks a week,
but with the money
we've spent so far,
we could have bought
some books.
We could have, I don't know,
planted a garden.
We could be sending a better
message to our students
than, "grow up
and get together once a week
and pray for a miracle."
- Nah, come on, Lloyd.
Now, what is not
what we're doing here.
- I'm just here
for the beer.
- Here, hal.
Here you go.
I'm out of here.
- That cover
next week's tickets?
- Nope, that's just for the beer
and the mystery meat.
- Lloyd.
You out?
- Come on, stick around.
Play some darts.
- Yeah.
You really out?
- Good luck, guys.
- Got a bad-ass attitude.
I don't care
what you say.
These are
our lucky numbers:
Anniversaries,
kids' birthdays.
That's who we are.
- You saying we're losers?
- Okay.
Who's being cut?
- All of them.
Don't...
don't say anything.
Let's let 'em have
this last night
before they give up
on this place for good.
♪ ♪
- ♪ what's a fight with
the right to keep it clean ♪
♪ what's the harm
from an angle of defeat ♪
♪ if every step
we live outside ♪
- Is he okay?
- Sure, he's fine.
- ♪ And go to sleep ♪
- So we're still
gonna do this?
- Sure, of course.
Now, I'll cover his bet.
- Aw, man,
with a streak like ours.
- ♪ Sell a tale at a price
we can agree ♪
♪ what's the harm
in charging... ♪
- Hey.
I got you covered, okay?
- ♪ Just to stop them
from belief ♪
- I'll buy the tickets on my way
up to the lake.
All right?
- ♪ Oh,
where they can never reach ♪
- Caroline, shut up.
- Romeo...
- You are definitely
over your video limit.
Upstairs. Math.
Caroline, sweetheart,
can you please
go and declaim somewhere else,
all right?
Hey, you.
- Hey.
- Did you tell them?
- What was I gonna say?
"Thank you for 20 years
of dedication,
"but you better go find
someplace to flip burgers now,
"because, sports arenas,
they buy more boats
than students who can read."
Nobody's gonna talk
to me anymore.
- Yes, they will.
Nobody thinks
this is your fault.
- Yeah. Maybe.
Maybe I should have stuck
to teaching history.
- You hungry?
I, uh...
Ate some meatloaf.
Eww.
Told you
not to eat that.
I think it's dog.
Yeah, I'm not hungry.
Just keep looking
for signs.
Something that tell me
what to do.
- How do you mean?
- I know
I'm superstitious.
- Eccentric, ed.
- No.
- You're eccentric.
- There's just something
out there you gotta find.
At some point,
you either give up on it
or decide
you're gonna do battle.
My stomach's growling.
Wanna stop to get lunch?
- Don't know where,
way out here.
Wouldn't go counting on that
as any big sign.
Well, that was fate.
- Hey, wait, wait.
What am I supposed
to do with this?
- Pick one, of course.
- They're only cookies, ed.
Looks like you're out of luck.
Go ahead.
Take another.
Legend says you're supposed
to pick the one
that's pointing at you.
♪ ♪
- But remember to eat
the whole thing,
or it won't come true.
Or was it,
you eat the fortune
and...
Hmm.
- Sometimes,
you've just gotta take things
into your own hands.
- What's it say?
- You're not supposed
to tell.
♪ ♪
- This is awesome.
Lloyd...
You ready for some pain?
- Yes.
- The mayor's here
for your list of cuts.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, send her in.
- It's time to share
the pain, Lloyd.
Share the pain.
- That's a great slogan.
You should run on that.
You know, Shirley,
why don't you just
shut the whole school down?
I mean, all these kids
really need to know
is how to supersize
a friggin' combo meal, right?
- You still can't get your mouth
around the word "fuckin'."
If you'd figured that out
20 years ago,
you might be doing something
worthwhile by now.
- You obviously
have no problem
getting your mouth
around things.
- You got your list?
- Yeah.
I got it.
I didn't fire
any firefighters
or anything heroic
like that,
just let go
of the last people
committed
to this city's future.
That's all.
- ♪ Down
by the riverside ♪
- What the hell is that?
- ♪ the riverside ♪
- That would be
one of the budget cuts.
- Oh.
- So, uh...
- Hmm?
- I guess last night
makes sense now.
Lloyd's canning US.
All of US.
- Now, everybody,
gather around.
I need to talk to you
for a second.
- Here's the thing.
School board has announced
that they're gonna have
to cut funding
for all intramural sports,
including football.
What?
- So they're gonna cancel
the rest of the season.
They said
we could keep playing,
if we wanted to accept
certain rule changes.
I told 'em to shove it
up their ass.
- What kind of rules, coach?
- Two-handed touch.
No rushing the passer
till five-Mississippi.
You know what I'm saying?
- Fuck that!
That's some bullshit!
- But I would rather forfeit
all of our games
than turn you guys
into a bunch of pussies!
- That's right, coach!
- That's right!
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ha ha ♪
♪ ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ all right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ ah ha yeah ♪
- Just be kind of calm.
- It's $10.45
for that toy gun.
And I'll suggest you want
to put the ski mask
back on aisle seven,
or I'm gonna have
to charge you
for that too.
Now, you got anything else
under there?
Now, you could have got
a discount on the gun set,
but you opened it.
Makeup set.
That's clearance.
There's that.
Jess, man,
you stoned again?
Man, you go on doing this,
and somebody might just
shoot you for the hell of it.
- Hey, oh!
Get in the kitchen.
Come back here.
A gun, huh?
- Yeah, it's all they had.
- Um, so how
about the check, Jess?
You buy presents,
I can't buy clothes.
God damn it, Jessie.
You're like a kid.
You know,
you don't get visitation
without child support.
- I'm on to something.
Okay? Just give me
a little bit of time.
- Right, right, one
of your grow light pot schemes
with Nicky?
I'm sorry, Jessie,
but no check,
no kids.
I don't wanna do this
anymore.
- The internship's
a crock of shit.
Thought it was a great step.
Get me into politics.
Get real experience.
But the mayor's
such a freak.
If this is politics, I should
have dropped out instead.
Walked main in garters.
Been a crack whore
and worked my way up.
Run for mayor myself.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you paying
any attention?
I'm sorry.
I just found out
today's my last day.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know?
- Internship's
in mayor's office.
- Oh, yeah. Right.
How's that going?
- You okay there?
You're worrying me.
You gotta stop taking
all that superstition crap
so seriously.
- You're looking
a little green.
I'm not so sure
that was chicken.
♪ ♪
- ♪ love ♪
♪ in the summer ♪
♪ ♪
♪ hot, dry and ♪
♪ ♪
♪ on a ♪
♪ lizard highway ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I have no name ♪
♪ ♪
- Is that fate
I see in your hands?
- ♪ And I ♪
♪ always knew ♪
- May?
- You on the road, baby?
- Yeah. Yeah.
We...we're making
good time.
I had some bad chicken.
I...it's sort of
a revelation.
Like when god
talks at you.
- About the chicken?
- No, may.
Not about the chicken.
I'll tell you about that later,
when I get back.
I just stopped to purchase a...
- just...just have
a good time, ed.
- Hey...
- Ed...
- What?
- Ed, are you there?
- Hey, may, may...
may!
- Who?
- Damn.
Hmm.
Bought 12 tickets...
In this lottery, every week,
since time began.
And you know something?
I haven't won a thing.
I'm not...I'm not...
I'm not complaining.
Not complaining.
Just...
Is this it?
- Got your numbers?
It's lotto fever again,
and the Internet's abuzz
with how to win the lottery
and spend your winnings.
- Don't people know the odds are
they can guess the phone number
of the person sitting
next to them
before hitting that jackpot?
They want an article
on how to increase
their odds of winning,
it would go great with the one
on how to housebreak
their unicorn.
- Come on, this might be
many people's only chance.
I mean, one chance
is better than none.
- Yeah, hope's alive and well
in the motor city,
but when you wake up
tomorrow morning
and money hasn't fallen
from the sky, then what?
- Well, there's always
next week.
- Think he'll even show up?
- I wouldn't.
- I say, if he does,
we punch him in the throat.
Cut off his air supply.
With a jackpot
of $252 million,
this is sure to be one
for the record books.
Check your numbers
carefully,
as you may already be holding
the key to your dreams.
Be sure to come back
after the break,
in time
for this week's drawing.
- Thank you, reg.
- My pleasure,
Mr. Coolidge.
- Hey, reg.
You got any specials?
- No.
- Okay, um...
Some pork chops then.
- Thought it was a fine idea
to cancel football?
My son's been waiting
three seasons
for a sc...
- look...
We just don't have any money.
How come you're so nice
to coolidge?
Didn't he evict you?
- 'Cause he's the only one
still buys a fine side of meat.
Banksters stopped buying them
in the grave.
- Banksters?
- Financed gangsters.
My son cops a doughnut
from the liquor store,
you bet your ass
he's in jail.
They Rob pension funds,
life savings,
and get a bigger bonus.
This year was
my son's last chance.
What's happened to you?
You're not the lawyer
that I remember...
getting stoned behind the quad
and playing pranks.
He would have never sold out
his friends.
- In case you haven't noticed,
I'm the principal now.
Okay? And there really is
nothing I can do.
I don't want to cut football.
- Like you said,
you're the man.
- Not really.
I mean, they give me a budget.
I've got to make
that budget work.
And with all these cuts, i...
- someone says "lean,"
you think I cut off
the good meat?
You're telling me you got
no fat in your budget?
- I think
you should listen to the man.
Remember to check
your numbers closely.
Our first number tonight
is 40.
- Mm!
- That's followed by...
19.
- Ooh!
Next, we have 22.
And for our next white ball...
- Hey, guys...
The number three.
- Hey, guys!
And the final
white ball for tonight...
Is 12.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god,
we won something.
- And now...
- Guys!
For the gold mega ball,
for a record jackpot...
- Oh, my god, we won.
- Worth $252 million...
Tonight's mega ball is...
Two!
- What was the first number?
- 40.
And the bonus was two.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
- Nah.
- Is that our ticket?
- I'm gonna check
your damn numbers on the wall.
- We won.
For all those
who need it...
- I'm dreaming.
Somehow, I thought
it would be different.
- Like...
- Your lottery dollars
go directly
to support local...
- Angels or music
or something.
- Holy mother of god.
We'll see you again
next Thursday.
- Hey, everybody.
Um...
Look, I know I'm the last person
you want to see right now.
I probably...probably
shouldn't even be here.
But, um, I just...
I just wanted to come by and...
Apologize.
I'm really sorry.
- Toni, it's...
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- Look...
We're gonna...
we're gonna cut the fat.
We're gonna find the money.
I'm gonna do
whatever it takes
to get you guys
your jobs back, okay?
- Yeah, see, the thing is
is, uh,
I don't think we're gonna
want our jobs back.
- Nah.
- Oh, please.
Don't...don't be like that,
guys, all right?
We're still a team.
We're still...
- We won.
- Oh, nobody wins
in these situations.
- We...won.
- All right, you guys
are freaking me out.
What did you win?
- We won.
We won!
We won!
- The numbers
that you always bet...
You finally hit!
I checked it 50 times!
- We won!
- That's great, you guys.
I'm...wow.
That's...I'm really,
really happy for you.
- What are you talking about?
- You kept the faith.
And that's...
well, you guys, I didn't
buy in this week.
- Ed spotted you
and Jessie.
You both won!
- Uh, how much?
- Uh, uh, uh...
- $252 million!
- $252 million!
- Oh, my god.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
so, wait.
- No. No.
- Yes!
- I'm a millionaire?
- You're a millionaire,
and you are a millionaire,
and you are a millionaire,
and you're a millionaire.
And that's a millionaire,
and I am a millionaire!
Yeah!
- Hey, we should
go look for ed.
- Lilly! Open up!
Lilly!
Lilly, open the door.
I got...
ha ha. Yes.
Lilly!
Lilly! Lilly!
- What the hell, Jessie?
I told you if you
showed up here again drunk,
I'd have to call the cops.
- No, no, no, no, no!
It's different now.
I'm rich!
- Ohh, god, Jessie,
what did you do?
- Well, I won
the fuckin' lottery.
- Jessie, you've got to get
off the drugs.
- No...no.
I can buy anything now.
I can buy you anything now!
- All right, Jessie,
you don't get it.
You could be the richest guy
on earth,
and I still wouldn't let you
in that apartment.
Now, go sleep it off.
- What?
What?
Uhh!
- Aw, yeah.
Who's the king?
- ♪ There's me ♪
♪ there's you ♪
♪ there's too many
rabid rabbits ♪
♪ in the petting zoo ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ there's me, there's you ♪
♪ there's him ♪
- ohh.
- ♪ There's a monkey
with a bright red butt ♪
♪ in my jungle gym ♪
- Jessie, open this door!
- Hey, may!
- Open the door, Jessie.
- ♪ Here's me ♪
- All right.
- ♪ I'm like a rodeo bull ♪
♪ got my head against the wall ♪
- Jessie!
Open this damn door.
- I got it, I got.
- Oof!
What the hell
is wrong with you?
- I'm rich.
Get out this damn bus.
- He's just rambling
about all sorts of stories
and the lottery
and his kids and things.
I didn't know who to call.
Ed's not back
for four days.
- May...
- Hmm?
- The lottery thing...
That's kind of true.
What, he actually
won some money?
- Actually, we all
won some money.
I was gonna try to call you
this morning,
just to see if we could
get ahold of ed.
- Up at the cabin?
Why would we do that?
- 'Cause it's kind of big.
- Big?
How big?
- Big.
- Lloyd.
- It's a couple hundred
million.
- What?
You want some cocoa?
- Uh...no.
I'm okay.
Let's just deal with the...
Jess, what's going on?
Jess!
- Jeez.
Ugh. Damn it.
Ed's gonna kill me.
Sheriff locked me out
a couple days ago.
So I been living in the bus.
It was good, though.
- Can we get ahold of ed?
- He don't tell me
where he goes.
Superstitious about the fish.
But...
At least this little brat's
filthy rich now.
Pawned my toaster last time,
and Ed's...
Glue gun.
- That was a good glue gun.
There's three tvs.
My dad used
to take US camping
in one of these.
He had one, you know,
when I was a kid.
And I would just stay
in the back and just goof off.
Well, he lost it when,
you know, he got laid off.
But I thought, if I could
ever buy one of these,
it would be like...
Being a kid again.
And it's got a popcorn button,
which is great, I mean...
There you go, boss.
- Thank you, hal.
Oh, uh, we're good
for this, right?
Hell, yeah!
Are you kidding?
- Hey.
- So...turns out
there were
only two winning tickets.
One up in the u.P.,
and ours.
- Wow.
- Each worth about 62...
$62 million,
after taxes.
So, uh...
That's...
$10,200,062 and some change.
Each.
- Yeah, that.
- Okay.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- All right, tell you what.
We gotta lay low
for a few days, okay?
Let's not have any, uh,
goodfellasmoments.
Nobody go out and, you know,
buy a new Cadillac or...
- Well, it's not...
it's not a Cadillac.
It's a discovery.
- Anybody else?
- Nah, man.
No, no, no. No, no.
- Okay.
Keep it in the garage.
And...cheers.
- Cheers.
- Merna, I've got to...
I've got to warn you.
- Goodness, Lloyd.
I volunteer.
You don't even pay me
anymore.
You can't fire everyone,
you know.
- I've got to warn you
to expect a delivery.
Every pulitzer
and nobel prize-winning novel,
plus ten new computers.
- Excuse me?
Did someone cap the mayor?
- Let's take one step
at a time.
Shaun bought them,
so you can thank him.
Uh,
and about the old library...
- oh, if somebody tries
to tear it down again,
I'll have
the whole conservancy there.
All 14 of US will chain
ourselves to the door.
- Actually, it should be
reopened by next summer.
And your old job will be
waiting for you.
Wow, you really
are quite a cynic
for such a sweet lady.
- ♪ Ridin' through the city
on my bike all day 'cause... ♪
- I got to resupply
in town tomorrow.
- No, no, I'll go.
Your luck's been great.
- No, I gotta go.
- You still feeling
that chick?
- ♪ Fella looking dapper, and
he's sitting with a slapper ♪
♪ then I see it's a pimp
and his crack whore ♪
♪ you might laugh,
you might frown ♪
♪ walkin' round
London town ♪
♪ sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I want to be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I want to be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ When you look
with your eyes ♪
♪ everything
seems nice ♪
♪ but if you look twice ♪
♪ you can see
it's all lies ♪
♪ there was a little, old lady
who was walking down the road ♪
♪ she was struggling
with bags from tesco ♪
♪ there were people from the
city having lunch in the park ♪
♪ I believe that it's called
al fresco ♪
♪ when a kid came along
to offer a hand ♪
♪ but before she had time
to accept it ♪
- $6,300 in supplies.
Bet you the clerk hadn't seen
that kind of order in this town
in decades.
- I hope he didn't
start crying.
- No, but my visa did.
I never thought you could bottom
out three of those
in two days.
You know,
they should be illegal.
Like crack.
Seriously.
- ♪ Would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪
- Lloyd Howard,
line one.
- Cute stunt.
You remember channels?
- I wanted
to get something done.
Why would I
go through channels?
- I wonder how the press
got there.
- I called them.
- You called them?
- What's in the budget
to restore that playground?
- In the budget?
15 grand.
- All right, I want that
sent to the school.
- You want it sent
to the school?
- Do we have
a bad connection?
- Excuse me?
- A bad connection.
You keep repeating
everything I say.
- I assure you,
the connection's fine.
- Well, that's a relief.
Um, we're gonna
do some cleanup
at the old library tomorrow.
The money budgeted for that,
we're gonna want that too.
Guess it wasn't such
a good connection after all.
This is all plugged in.
Take that and whack the crap
out of anything you see, okay?
- Same reporters,
one bloody news cycle.
That's what you're worth.
Oh, bringing the child's
a nice touch.
- I'm not a child.
- No, of course not.
You're a prop.
- Hey, leave the kid
out of this.
$150,000 Grant to help
restore this place.
That ring a bell?
- Yeah.
What about it?
- I want it.
- Is this a shakedown,
or are you running
for office or something?
Zero chance.
I got that money earmarked
to demo this place.
- All right, have it your way.
Over here, guys.
- Over here.
The mayor's going to speak.
- Watch your step.
- We got some great news.
Uh, mayor paine here
has just offered
a $150,000 Grant
to help restore this place.
- Why the change of heart,
mayor?
- Mayor,
why the sudden flip-flop?
- I'm not prepared to comment
on details just yet.
- We're also going to create
a community garden
here on the grounds.
It's gonna produce
some organic foods
for local consumption,
unless we find
some toxic waste
which...
then we're not gonna do that.
But very generous Grant,
so thank you, mayor paine.
- One day, you say
you're tearing it down,
and now you're rebuilding it.
Can you explain that further?
- I'll talk
to you guys later.
- Sure, no problem.
- Thank you.
Appreciate it.
- Thank you.
- You, my friend,
just hit the third rail.
- Eat me.
- Eileen, why don't you
go out there
and pick up some trash
and make a big show of it
when you get something?
We can get a good shot
of you.
Make it look like
you give a shit.
- And I wanted
to talk to you
about the future.
About an idea I have.
- Okay.
- Maybe going
to Chicago
and auditioning
for a show.
- Well,
what's stopping you?
- I was hoping
for a little inspiration.
- You should go.
- Am I
interrupting something?
I...
You know, when...
when I was 14,
I saw that movie 10,
all right?
The one with Bo Derek.
And I guess,
ever since then,
I've just been kind of
searching for something.
- An ideal woman or porn?
- I feel like we have
radically different views
about our friendship.
I'm not your buddy.
And now you have some fantasy
about some perfect woman
who's gonna give you
some perfect life.
Is that what women are to you?
- No!
No, that's not even
what I meant.
You know, i...
okay, you...first of all,
you didn't even
let me finish.
- We just won the lottery,
and all you can do is obsess
over another hot girl!
- God, Toni, I was just
trying to tell you how I felt.
- Oh, well,
here's how I feel.
You're a gibbon.
- A what?
- A two-legged jackass!
- You got it.
- Hey, family.
- What up?
- Jess.
- Yeah?
What's this?
- It's a hybrid.
- What, are you serious?
- Well, just until you
get back on your feet again.
Mr. Howard, you're the man!
- Well...well, dad.
You should have bought him
a Cadillac.
You can afford it.
- An obvious failure
of our public school system.
We don't buy things just because
we can afford them, right?
Jess needed transportation,
so that's what he got.
Go.
- Okay.
- Huh.
I am just so happy
that Jessie got a new car.
There's no reason
that we should get
a new car,
like a tricked out SUV
with video headsets,
retractable moon roof,
multi-position heated seats,
or 12-speaker stereo system.
- Like that one?
- You did not.
I did.
Oh, my...
What happened to everything
you said back there?
- Yeah, well, let's just
keep it in the garage.
- Mm!
Mwah! Mwah!
All right,
Mr. Values.
- Hey,
I still got values.
I just think we've sacrificed
enough, don't you?
Let's live
a little.
It's got multi-position
heated seats.
- ♪ Nobody but you and me ♪
♪ oh, baby... ♪
- Guess what.
We don't allow gum
at this school.
- I make the rules,
remember?
So I'm not gonna beat
around the bush.
Rumor has it you have
an ace up your sleeve.
A real game changer.
- What rumor?
- What you no longer
care about cash
or bills.
Or perhaps even me.
- Well...
I can neither confirm
nor deny such a rumor.
That being said,
lose the fucking gum.
- Do you have any idea
how big this is?
Even someone
with your limited ambition
must surely
comprehend it.
With your luck
and my connections,
think governor.
No, no,
national office.
See, I worked my ass off
to get here,
but if don't have the millions
to throw around
to make people
love me.
- So you want mine.
- It's just politics.
Why don't you come
by the lodge tonight?
- Why would I do that?
- No opposition to grants,
to start.
Is there
an imagination in there?
Huh?
A playground and...
That rattrap of a library.
Oh, wait.
Let's see
if I can do this.
Oh.
"A" for effort.
See ya later.
Whoo.
A-plus.
You gotta be kidding me.
- Mr. Howard...
- Mr. Howard!
- How does it feel
to win the lottery?
- How long have you been playing
the lottery?
- Can you give US a statement
on how you plan
to use the money?
- I'm not prepared to comment
at this time.
I'm sorry.
- Principal Howard, when
will you claim your winnings?
- It's complex.
As you might imagine,
there's a lot
of planning ahead.
Mr. Howard! Mr. Howard!
- Will you be donating the money
to one of your...
- all right,
what we'd like to do
is put the money
to some good use.
Reopen some libraries,
uh, clean up some parks.
- We want to hear
about how you plan on spending...
- it's a fun game, huh?
It's fun.
- Hey, who told you
you could leak our win?
- We need
national exposure.
You're not gonna get anywhere
pimping
of principal-to-principal,
but rags-to-riches
gets them every time.
I got one chance to put
this place on the map,
and nothing's gonna get
in my way.
We gotta get our share
of the bailout billions,
navigate
through all the red tape
and your idiotic altruism,
and luck's our in.
- Hey.
The shiny people.
- Hey.
- Well, as an important member
of our community now,
I thought it was time
I brought you
into the inner circle.
I believe you know
almost everyone.
- Why is it I feel
like an open vein
at a vampire convention?
So...
- Pleasantries aside.
I really wanted you
to meet
one of our most successful
alums.
- Well, I never
really graduated.
- Oh.
- Is that Ali?
- Your favorite
history student.
- Um...welcome back.
You got expelled,
didn't you?
- Well,
after your history class
ended my troubled relationship
with authority, I started...
- all right, you hacked in
and changed your grade
in the school's computer.
- Well, I didn't think
it was fair.
- Ali wants to build
a factory here.
- I started my own company,
making turbines
for alternative
energy systems.
After our little
misunderstanding.
And the towers
went down,
my dad was laid off,
moved to California.
Like a modern-day Tom joad
from the grapes of wrath.
You called it.
Highland park's the capital
of the rust bowl.
The simple fact is,
we gave up
on people's jobs.
They want to put
their hands to work
and build things
they'd be proud of.
See, I was paying attention
in your class.
I want to take over
the old American bearing plant
where our dads worked.
With my people,
the hope's in your own hands.
- What an opportunity...what are
the big plans for your future?
- Uh, yeah, well,
I'd like to create an urban
farm co-op in highland park.
- What about a Ferrari
or a yacht or your own island?
- Mr. Howard's
being very modest.
We had
a fantastic meeting.
He's decided to expand
his local cleanup project,
and to jump-start it,
he's made the miraculous offer
to donate $1 million
of his winnings.
- That's a lot of money.
- So he's gonna write a check?
- Uh...that's wrong.
- The mayor's got that
a little bit wrong.
Um, I've actually
decided to...
Give...
$5 million...
Principle Howard...
- To grassroots programs.
We're gonna clean up
some parks,
uh, restore the old library,
some after-school activities,
uh, restore some pri...
we're gonna restore
some pride around here.
- This is great for the kids.
What about...
- and I am honored
that the mayor
has decided
to match these funds
in order to hire back
some teachers
and rebuild
the library.
- Why the change
of heart?
Thank you, mayor.
- Mayor,
where's the money coming from?
- All right, great.
Thank you. Excuse me.
- Has your brother now bid
on the library restoration?
- Yes, it's a very inspired
meeting we had in there.
Now, they say that money
can't buy everything.
But it can.
That's always confused me.
Because that's what money does,
it buys things.
You know?
- So...
No goodfellasmoments, huh?
- What was I gonna do?
I'm not gonna let her
push me around anymore.
- And are you really gonna
give all your money away
just because Shirley beat out
your wife for homecoming queen?
- That is not what I did,
I...
Look, this is a good thing.
It's worthwhile.
- I think we should at least
have the money in hand
before we spend
any more of it.
- You know,
would you leave him alone?
You gotta spend your money
on what makes you happy.
All right, brah.
Like when I bought
that ring for char.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
- Who's char?
- I thought you were with Toni!
- Oh, no, no, no, man.
That would have
never worked out.
- 'Cause she's
smarter than you?
Frankly...yes.
- But I want to provide
for somebody.
You know
what I'm saying?
You know, have them adore me.
- Yeah.
- Love me.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Sounds like you want a pet.
- You know, char needs me.
Okay?
I can get her things, things
that she can't get herself.
You know, Toni,
on the other hand, you know,
she can get everything
that I can get for her.
So I don't think...you know,
why would she need me?
Okay? I just don't see it.
- I don't know, companionship?
- Ooh, that's a good one.
Hey, how about love, huh?
- If he can spend half of
his money on an ancient grudge,
then I can spend
some of my money
on a young, beautiful,
sexy...
- congratulations.
- Hey!
- No, no.
No, thank you.
Thank you, yeah.
He's already taken twice.
- Okay.
- Thanks very much.
Thanks very much.
Move along.
So, uh, what did Sylvia say
when you told her
you were gonna give away
your money?
- Pretty sure
it won't be good.
- You didn't tell her?
- Man, come on!
Look, you know what happens
to people who win the lottery.
They either end up broke
or in prison.
- We're inviting everybody
to help stop
this city's slide
into oblivion.
And we're starting here
at the city's heart.
Uh...the old library.
And you at home,
you can start
in your own front yards.
Uh, paint out some graffiti.
Mow down some weeds.
- Well, highland park
turned out in force today.
Not to volunteer,
unfortunately,
but to celebrate
in a big way.
- There's zero chance
that anyone
is gonna raise a finger
to save this place.
Why didn't you talk to me
before you made
that kind of a decision?
- I'm sorry, i...
I'm sorry.
It...
I...
Look, this is a chance
for me to do something
that I've always
wanted to do.
Besides, we're...we got
plenty of money left over.
I mean, we get,
uh, you know,
enough to send the kids
to a good school.
We're gonna buy
a big, new house.
- Hmm!
- We're gonna get
some appliances.
Tell you what.
Tomorrow...
I'm gonna buy a mattress.
A big one.
With sheets.
And pillows.
- Ohh.
- Yeah. Hmm?
- You're just
talkin' dirty now.
- Mm.
Refrigerator.
- Refrigerator.
- Mm-hmm.
Dishwasher.
- Dishwasher.
- Ohh!
- Um...
Electric can opener.
- Argh!
- ♪ What ghost is rattling
your front porch ♪
♪ can't tell what's golden ♪
- This is for $1 million.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I thought
you should have it.
Uh, wait a couple days,
though,
before you cash it.
- Um...no, i...
I just want the regular check.
Okay, your responsibility
to the kids.
- Jesus, Lilly, that'll
buy you anything they want.
I just want you
to be happy.
- That is so sweet,
Jess.
But, please, just pay
what you're supposed to, and...
Stay sober.
Okay? That's what'll
make me really happy.
- Well, can I take
the kids bowling?
Ah, some of the guys
are going out to celebrate.
- Do you have
the regular check?
- ♪ I know you'll offer up
the full course ♪
- Okay, um...Jessica.
Jordan, he's gonna
take you bowling, okay?
- Cool!
- ♪ What ghost is rattling
your front porch ♪
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- ♪ On his head ♪
♪ I know you'll offer up
the full course ♪
♪ they'll wait for hours
until they're fed ♪
- No candy this time.
I promise.
- Okay.
Thanks.
- ♪ Oh, until they're fed ♪
- You okay?
- I gotta go.
- Did you get
your diarrhea pills?
- Whooooo!
- Whew.
Glad I went for the pork.
- So, uh, can you
afford this place?
'Cause I know his pension
and the uaw health plan
kind of bankrupt, so...
- Oh, I can afford it, thanks.
- Well, just been a lot
of looky-loos lately.
Since the economy
hit the skids,
folks looking
to unload their problems.
- Well, my dad's
not a problem.
- All right, sure.
Oh, lord have mercy.
Don't...ah...mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
- Excuse me,
do you have a problem?
- Just keep him
away from the plants.
- Well,
he's not gonna hurt 'em.
- He's trying to water it.
- Maybe it needs watering.
- It's plastic.
- Dad.
- Hmm?
- Come on.
Let me ask you something.
Is there something
we can do about the smell?
- These folks
don't mind.
- Well,
what about their visitors?
- Visitors?
They lucky if they got
bedbugs to keep 'em company.
- Dad.
Let's just go home.
Lovely place.
- Mm-hmm, thank you.
- So how was the flight?
- Had screaming brats
on the first leg.
What's with the millionaire
sending economy tickets?
- Is that a TV
or a movie screen?
- Merv, dad can't
see the screen.
- Oh. Oh, oh.
- So when are you gonna buy
a real home
and some nice furniture?
- I don't know.
Happened so fast, uh...
Not much room
on the credit card
until I get the check.
- You don't have
the money yet?
Do you...do you think
you're gonna get it soon?
- Don't know.
I guess so.
I guess I should check.
- Duh!
- Merv, screen!
- Ooh.
- I didn't want to press,
but we're kind of in need.
- What kind of need?
- 120 days late
kind of need.
- Claire, you...
- don't Claire me.
It's the damn
real estate agents.
- How much do you need?
- 150,000.
- Holy shit!
- That's pocket change
to you.
- Okay, I'll see
what I can do.
You haven't even asked
about dad yet.
- Guess I was stressed
about the house.
- He keeps forgetting things.
I mean, even this lottery thing.
I tell him about it,
he gets all excited,
and the next day,
he doesn't remember it at all.
Guess the upside is dad gets
to win the lottery every day.
- Did I grow a target
on my forehead overnight?
Five lawsuits.
Never been sued in my life.
This janitor,
he moves to Ohio,
and he's suing me
for keeping him out of the pool.
- Didn't you fire him?
- Yeah, I fired everybody.
What, are they all
gonna sue me now?
How come none of you guys
are getting sued?
- 'Cause you're
the one on TV.
- We didn't fire anybody.
- That's the problem
with this country.
Everybody just wants
to blame everybody else.
- Isn't it getting
kind of late?
- Ed probably got tired
and pulled off
to stay the night somewhere.
- Well,
wouldn't he have called?
- 30 years,
he's only called me twice
'cause he's been late.
Once to bail him out.
You're done.
- Wow.
That kind of felt
like last call.
Ed, I don't get
what's happening with you.
What the hell was that?
- It's been circling out there
for a while now.
- What has?
- I'm not sure.
- Look...
We're supposed
to be home by now.
- You remember when you
were a kid, Bert?
Remember the beginning
of summer?
The sea of time
before you,
filled
with endless possibilities,
and the summer
came to an end, and you...
You started feeling
let down, like...
Like all those possibilities
weren't quite fulfilled.
That happened
until you realized one day...
That was your life
spread out in front of you.
The day
that I retired...
Was fired...
It felt like life...
It felt like life
was running out of summers.
And...
Lottery tickets
are a lot like summers.
Those blank tickets
hold all that possibility.
Until you fill them up
with your numbers.
Then you have
just one chance.
And then it's gone.
- Ed...
What exactly's happened?
- You know what?
- What?
- Run.
- What if he's dead?
Oh, don't tell me
it hasn't crossed your mind.
- He's not dead.
- He hasn't been seen
or heard from in days.
Maybe Bert murdered him,
or...
He fled to Canada
with the ticket,
or he lost it.
- Rory,
you're getting paranoid.
- Yeah, well, a fella in Collins
stole a million bucks
from some guys in a pool
in '93.
- And how do you have that
on the tip of your tongue?
- Gobbers told me.
- All right.
Wanna know my theory?
Ed's got a second wife.
And she found out, and she
killed him for our ticket.
- Oh, great.
- Plans to run off to Argentina.
- I know
what y'all talking about
'cause I'm a little worried
about him too.
His health
hasn't been that great.
But he's fine, okay?
So stop your worrying.
- May, do you want me to
stay here and keep you company?
- No, I'll be fine.
I'll call you all
as soon as he gets back.
Tomorrow is gonna be
a big day.
Go home
and get some rest.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Thank you, may.
- Paranoia aside,
if he's not here by noon,
I'm up there to find him.
- Better believe it.
- Ed?
Ohh! Baby, thank god.
Oh, what happened?
We were so worried
about you.
- I'm...I'm fine.
I ju...i just,
uh, took some time to do
a little soul searching.
So you know!
- Hey, may, may, may...
- What?
- Um, we've been together
over 36 years.
- Uh-huh.
- And in that time,
I've done some stupid things.
- They're all forgiven, baby.
None of that
matters anymore.
- May, I-I need...
I need for you to listen
because i...
I practiced what I had to say
100 times in my head,
and I don't want
to mess it up.
- Okay.
- You might murder me.
- Oh!
Okay, I'm all ears.
- You know
I'm just like anyone.
You know,
you're gonna see signs
and find meaning
in little things,
like, uh, my lucky number
in a license plate...
- Mm-hmm.
- You know,
and something like that.
- See,
after all these years, baby,
nobody thinks
you're crazy anymore.
Come on, tell me
about your vision!
- Th-the...it just...
It ended up just being
food poisoning.
- That's nonsense, ed.
We won!
We won, baby!
The only thing we have
to worry about is...
Where we gonna spend
our retirement,
and what hotel
we gonna stay in...
In Paris!
- There's not going to be
a hotel, may.
No retirement.
No Paris.
- Of course there is, baby.
Of course.
- No, no, I didn't buy
the tickets, may.
I bought
some other silly ticket
with the numbers
from this damn fortune cookie.
Uh...may...
You all right?
People just want to believe
there's gotta be
something more.
If not,
then what's the difference?
All those visions, astrologers,
superstitions...no.
"What if that beggar was god"
kind of stuff.
Ah, makes you crazy sometimes.
- Ed, I know
you're trying to...
Put some structure
on this, but...
That beggar, you know,
sometimes is just a beggar.
A cigar sometimes
just a cigar, ed.
What we gonna do?
This is all on US.
- We're no worse off
than before.
I mean, things weren't
that bad, were they?
Now, disappointing, yeah.
But it's not like
we told 'em we're dying.
You know, all we do is
tell them that...
They are who they were...
Before they won.
- Well, it sounds
a little better
when you say it
like that, but...
It's not true, ed.
This is big, man.
This is...you have...
No idea how big this is.
It's inspired people.
Revolted others.
Yeah, look.
Well, say something, ed.
Come on, now,
you're the one who said
that we still have
our health.
Come on, say something.
- Fuck.
Hey!
- Ed, ed, ed, ed.
- What's going on, old man?
Huh?
That's what I'm talkin' about!
- 40-year-old whiskey.
I been saving it
since...Forever.
Ah.
- We gonna...what?
- You owe me $4,740.
- Jeez, just for this
one bottle?
- For the tab.
Since you guys got lucky.
- What the hell
are you talking about, man?
What is your problem?
- What's wrong with Jessie?
- Let's each, uh,
have a glass of whiskey.
- Well, what's going on?
- I'd drink the whiskey first,
if I were you.
- He didn't buy
the ticket.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Say what?
- What do you mean,
he didn't buy the ticket?
- The motherfucker
bought a different ticket!
- Ed, is that true?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I-i-i...
I don't understand.
- I got $37,000 here
in cash.
I...i closed my savings.
I'd sell my house, if I can,
my car.
I...you can divide it up
amongst yours...
- you're not serious, man.
You're not serious,
you blue-balled,
pig-brained,
motherfuckin' cocksucker!
You can't be serious!
You are not serious right now!
- You owe me $10 million.
I am gonna fuckin' kill you!
- Jessie, come on.
Take it easy.
What's that gonna do?
- Well,
it's gonna make him dead.
- What can I do, huh?
- I want you to give me
the money.
- Jess, what the hell
is that, man?
- Glue gun.
- A pink one?
- Yeah, it was on clearance.
- He got it to replace
the one he pawned.
- Yeah, and now,
I'm gonna kill you with it.
- You gonna glue him
to death?
Come on,
we can't take his money.
- Bullshit!
- You wanna take his money,
Jessie, go ahead,
take his money.
- See?
- Guys, it's his money.
It's not like he stole it.
- Here. Here, take it.
I'll get more
and give it to you.
- Fuck!
- Yeah, I, uh...
Really needed
that money, ed.
I deserved it.
- Um...
Ed...
I don't understand this.
Um...
Y...
we've been buying
the same tickets for...
for ten years.
And you just decided
on your own
to buy a different one?
- I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Tell me
why you reach ♪
♪ grasping
for my knee ♪
♪ my wrist ♪
♪ ♪
♪ the ladder
on this beach ♪
♪ connecting you
to me ♪
♪ like this ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ah ah ♪
♪ ah ah ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ ♪
- Right now, I think
the most important thing
for US to remember
is that...
We're not that much
worse off
than we were
a week ago.
- Well,
except for the credit cards
and the cars and...
And the humiliation.
- Yeah,
except for that stuff.
Yeah, that stuff.
- And my job.
- They're gonna fire you?
- Well,
that depends on...
How well some people
handle surprises.
- This had better not be
a fuckin' trick
to get out of your moronic gift
or around me in some way.
You're fired!
- I figured that.
- And...
- and what? Can't do much else.
- The hell I can't.
Try fraud.
Conspiracy, extortion.
- You know that there
was nothing malicious
about any of this.
- I knew somehow,
you'd fuck me.
- I don't care enough about you
to want to fuck you.
You're the one that leaked it.
- Yeah, in a press conference
at 5:00 for your give-back,
whatever the fuck...
damn it, I am not gonna take
the fall for this!
- I figured that too.
- Well, you better figure
on the sky
falling down on you.
I'm gonna check your taxes.
I'm going to see if you
ever missed dotting an "i"
or crossing a "t."
Eileen, get your ass in here!
- Do you really want
to make this any worse
than it already is?
- You just go Bury yourself
and say nothing.
I'm gonna make you wish death
would solve your problems.
Scorched earth.
Make the calls.
I have very different plans
for today.
I have very different plans
for today.
I'd planned
to talk about my...
my citywide
volunteer initiative.
Instead, I gotta talk
about more dramatic cuts.
But first,
Lloyd Howard,
who claimed to have won
last week's lottery,
in fact
did no such thing.
Perhaps, like a firefighter
who sets fire to a house
in order to rush in
and rescue the family,
he wanted to be a hero.
But he's no hero.
This man attempted to extort
millions from public coffers
to fend off growing
financial difficulties.
I promise
a full investigation
and expect charges
to be filed shortly.
- It looks pretty ugly
out there.
Does may know
where he went?
- No, she just said
he was babbling on
about the library
and walked out the door
carrying a bunch of tools.
- Oh, that man
does not give up.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
Wish me luck.
- Remember, "no comment."
- There he is.
- There he is!
- No comment.
- Did you defraud, sir?
- You gave US hope,
and we trusted you!
How could you betray
your community?
- I've not betrayed
this place.
I suppose,
if I was a real crook,
I'd be asking for a bailout,
like everybody else.
Why aren't you...why aren't you
camped out on the mayor's lawn?
Or the director of fannie Mae
or Freddie Mac,
or any of those other idiots
who went out and spent a bunch
of money they didn't have?
Huh? Spent our money.
Other people's money.
Has anybody actually
looked around this place?
- So much
for "no comment."
- And you guys are just
standing around watching,
like it wasn't happening to you,
but it is.
It's happening to everybody,
all of US.
All I was trying
to do is...
Get people to get up off
their asses and do something,
take some responsibility.
You know?
Break the cycle,
before it breaks you.
- Loser's on a roll.
- Everybody, it's happening
to you and you and you.
- He's right,
you know.
- Oh, yeah?
What would you know?
- You told me once to act
as if I gave a shit.
For your info, I do.
- Is anybody
paying attention?
I think I've said enough.
Excuse me.
- Where's the owner
of that truck?
Get him out of here!
- Jess.
- Oh, great.
Hey.
- You on a bender?
- No. No.
No, no, no.
I, uh...
Stayed up all night.
Lost 5 grand
playing keno.
Thought I could win
our money back.
Look, I stopped.
I, you know,
took the rest of Ed's money,
and bringing it back here.
You know,
where I lost it all.
What the hell's
going on here?
- You know where Ed's at?
- No.
Inside, I guess.
- All right, get up.
- Yeah.
I'll, uh, I'll be right in.
♪ ♪
- What the hell's going on?
- Think his old butt
finally blew a gasket.
- Hey, ed.
What's up?
Something else I can do.
- And he thinks
that we want to murder him.
Now, I can't say that
that thought
hasn't crossed my mind,
but, you know...
may called me,
said she was worried about him,
so I came down here and...
hey.
What are you doing, man?
- Restoring this place.
- So what is this,
your penance for screwing up?
Come on, ed, this was all
just a half-assed idea anyway.
- You know what, I just say
we leave him up there.
Let him...let him finish it,
you know, this whole thing.
Then he can come to my house,
work on my house,
and then work his way
down the block
and finish
everybody else's house too.
- What would you
have me do?
- Well, try forgiving yourself
for a start.
- You guys haven't.
- Yeah, it's going to take
a little time.
- What if you're in jail?
- A bit more.
Look,
we gave it our best.
- No, you don't give your best,
you give what's necessary.
And you don't start something
and then walk away from it
when it gets tough.
That's why this place looks
the way it does.
- You're hopeless,
and I'm going to let you
handle it 'cause i...no, I just...
I'm not doing it.
♪ ♪
Motherfuckers.
Damn it.
Careful
with that stained glass.
It's supposed to go
in my living room.
Seriously,
you guys morons?
- Shirley.
Shirley,
what are you doing?
You can't do this.
- It's not as if all we needed
was a new coat of paint
and the weeds whacked.
You flushed
our only chance
of some real money
down the toilet.
Now I'm stuck doing
damage control.
- Well,
you could've helped.
You know, we could've turned
this place around.
- We have no jobs,
and I've got
an 80-year-old infrastructure
that needs
to be replaced
before sewage
starts spewing down the streets.
People see wrecking balls,
they see progress.
Okay, get to it.
- Wait, wait, wait. Ed...
ed and Jessie
are still inside.
- Damn it,
get them the hell out of there.
- What if they don't move?
What are you going to do?
- Arrest them.
- Well, then,
I'll join them.
- Then I'll arrest you too.
- And me?
- And me?
- I'm already going
to arrest you.
- You can't arrest
everybody.
- You honestly think
I'm afraid of you.
You can't even get people
to mow their lawns.
No one cares.
They've given up.
Why are you doing this?
- 'Cause I believe
they still do care.
- Ugh.
Oh, just drop it.
- You sure, boss?
- Drop it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
- ♪ Kiss the babies ♪
♪ and forget
their name ♪
♪ I was somebody ♪
♪ with a ball
and chain ♪
- I can't believe
she crushed your car.
- Yeah, I'm kind of bummed
about that.
- So we're just going
to give up here?
How far do you think
Martin Luther King
would've gotten
if he had announced
to the world,
"I have a nightmare"?
- Ed?
- Hmm?
- What in the hell does
Martin Luther King
have to do
with any of this?
- Because he shows you
how to win
with the hand
you're dealt.
- ♪ With a ball
and chain ♪
Well, I gotta go find a way
to make a living.
Wish me luck.
- Nothing personal,
but from now on,
beers are c.O.D.
- Ah, I got this one.
Seriously.
- Thanks, ed.
- Thanks, ed.
- So we going to pick
some new numbers?
Ah.
You guys can sleep on that.
- Figured I'd find
you all here.
Hi.
So I was picking up my stuff,
and somehow,
the mayor's computer
got in my bag.
Anyone know
how to break her password?
♪ ♪
- Listen, you still comfortable
breaking some federal laws,
maybe cracking
a password or two?
♪ ♪
Yeah!
- I heard
about this room.
I can see
how you'd forget
that people
are losing their homes.
Hey,
can I get a whiskey sour?
No?
What's it take to get
a drink around here?
- You have to be a member.
- Oh.
So what do I gotta do?
Ruin a bank and get billions
in bailouts?
- We didn't get billions,
Lloyd.
- I know, I'm exaggerating.
Billion.
What is the price of admission?
Is it $128,000
to build a cell tower
near your home?
Or is it
only 25 grand
in travel expenses
for a trade mission to Fiji?
Do we trade
with Fiji?
This is going to be fun.
Hmm.
This is highland park's
lucky day,
especially
for my buddy Ali here.
See, he's engineered what I like
to call a reverse bailout.
He's going to bring the most
innovative private investment
to highland park
since Ford.
You guys get to stay
out of jail.
- Are you some sort
of masochist?
- Remember those hud grants
that were supposed to go
to public housing
that never got built?
- So you've done
a little research.
- You'd be amazed
at what can be found
by one man
sitting alone at night
with nothing but the Internet
to distract him.
I also find it really sweet
that you thought
you could erase emails
just by deleting them.
- You guys really should update
your systems.
They're pretty much
an open book.
- So you're just
a couple of hackers.
- No, we just figure,
when something's broken,
you find a way
to fix it.
- With Doug's bailout,
we can finance the retooling
of the plant,
the community farm,
library restorations...
- I can't afford to make
those kind of loans
and stay in business.
- Doug,
you can't afford not to.
How much did you lend Shirley
to restore
her house,
just ballpark?
And, Shirley,
how much of that
did you end up paying back,
again, just ballpark?
- This is all
on the Internet?
- Not yet.
Thank you.
But we all know
what would happen
if 30,000 of your personal
emails were posted online.
Come on, if you can't see
that things have got to change,
you're all blind.
You know,
Doug here, he drives
his bank into the dirt
and walks away
with a $2.1-million bonus.
He owes US.
Why don't you reimburse the city
for tools and paints
and maybe buy some books,
maybe buy Rory a new car?
- Is this blackmail?
- I prefer the word justice.
- I'd like that.
- We need to put this place
back to work,
hire back our teachers,
and invest in our own future.
- Spoken
by a bankrupt idealist.
Sometimes you do what you have
to do in order to survive.
You've got to rise to the task
to be a leader.
- You're not a leader.
You're a cheesy,
money-hungry shrew
who should've been stuck giving
hand jobs under the bleachers
instead of screwing people
from behind the desk.
Okay?
Looks to me like
you're all fucked.
Now we...
we will clean this place up.
That's going to start
right here,
right now
in this room.
Gotta warn you,
there is some press out front.
I'm going to go start
the spin.
And unless any of you
want to explain
why you don't belong
in federal prison,
I suggest you follow my lead.
Thanks for the drink.
- ♪ Well,
it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you smile ♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Well, they look happy.
- Yeah, we had fun.
- That's good.
- Here's 97 bucks.
Better next time
with any luck.
You know, I'm really proud
of you, Jess.
I could just forget everything
that you've done, but...
♪ ♪
Do you want to come in?
- ♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ and in a year ♪
♪ a year or so ♪
♪ this will slip ♪
♪ into the sea ♪
♪ but it's been
a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you
smile ♪
- They came
for the camper.
- Okay.
- Looks like good pie,
dad.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Nobody raise
your voices ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ just another night
in nantes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ nobody raise
your voices ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ just another night
in nantes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Well, it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ and I'll gamble away ♪
♪ my fright ♪
♪ and I'll gamble away ♪
♪ my time ♪
♪ and in a year ♪
♪ a year or so ♪
♪ this will slip ♪
♪ into the sea ♪
♪ but it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Motherfucker.
known as the hubcap
of the mighty industrial wheel
that is Detroit,
celebrates its fabled past,
birthplace
of the production line,
the new idea that hard work
an ingenuity
have created
the mightiest economic engine
in human history,
one capable of providing
nearly everyone
the benefits
of a well-paying job.
From farmland
to cradle of the American dream
in just half a century.
On the move as always,
this town of tomorrow
looks forward
as it pauses to look back.
Where the statue of Liberty
once welcomed those
in search of hope,
highland park's main library
now stands
as the beacon
of civic pride
to millions
in search of opportunity.
Highland park civic leaders
have left nothing to chance...
♪ ♪
Incumbent mayor Shirley paine
still leads the polls,
despite her announcement
of biding
new austerity measures.
The further cuts in funding
for firefighters,
nursing staff,
and school programs
highlight highland park's
ever-deepening financial crisis
and raise more questions
about spending priorities
as well as the mayor's award
of expensive contracts
to close associates.
When asked why she allocates
millions to vanity projects
like the new stadium
while failing to maintain
our crumbling infrastructure,
the colorful mayor scoffed
at hints of misconduct,
stating that monumental problems
facing the city
demand leadership
with shiny, big ideas
that get people's attention,
not unsexy projects
like storm drain maintenance.
She reiterated
her campaign promise
to create jobs by fostering
large-scale developments,
like construction
of a fashion outlet mall
on the site where the city's
main library now stands.
She defended plans to demolish
vacant structures
to eliminate the cost
of policing
the sparsely populated...
Come on, kids.
Let's all gather round.
Let's go!
Let's go, men.
Listen up.
Take a knee.
- Lloyd, with waterford,
that's 1,261 plants shut
since they closed
the main library.
- I guess I should be
more realistic.
- Well, you've only been
out of school a little while.
If you still want to sing
in a couple of years,
we can look into a program.
But until then, I would not
give up my day job.
- She will not stay the siege
of loving terms,
nor bide the encounter
of loving eyes,
nor open her lap
to Saint-seducing gold.
But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks?
- Jesus Christ.
You know, do me a favor
and run your line over
a few times.
- Hey.
Christ.
- What the hell
are you doing, man?
- You see this?
These old furnaces,
elegant and simple,
can work forever.
None
of that disposable technology.
- Well,
then why isn't it working?
- Because it was installed
during
the hoover administration.
And somebody's got
to maintain it.
- You know what, you were fired
two years ago, ed.
Why are you still here?
- Retired.
I retired.
- Okay.
- Yeah, you want to freeze
this winter?
Oh, psh.
Come on, it's time to go.
Yeah, I'll drive.
- You're killing me.
You're absolutely
killing me.
- You're already dead.
- Shit.
Hey, principal Howard.
- Hey, Jess.
What are you doing
with the bus?
- Oh, uh, transmission
went out on the Ford,
and with the twins' birthdays
coming up,
I just figured, you know,
I'd drive the bus...
One of the parents drives by,
sees the school bus
parked in front of a bar...
- Yeah. No.
I got it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I'll get it moved
right away.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
Switch the channel, hal.
- Oh, we got time.
What about the moose?
- Hey, guys.
- Yeah, I'll fix it
when I get back.
- Yeah, it's just that,
you know,
he's kind of freaking out
the patrons
with the, uh,
one eye and everything.
- Hey, hal, the tube.
- Yeah, ain't like
it's going anywhere.
Welcome to mega millions
with mega jackpot and...
- Sorry.
That's my stool.
Once again,
it's lucky Thursday.
- Hey, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
I'll get you another drink.
If not in this life,
the next.
A path to your door.
After a short break, we...
- Ed...
Is that stool
really that important?
- Yeah.
- There you go.
- How is it possible that,
after ten years,
you still think
sitting on that stool
is gonna make
any difference?
- Hey, come on, man.
It hasn't been that long.
- Shaun, we started playing
these numbers
in the friggin' '90s.
Earn your business,
a dollar at a time.
Welcome back.
- And your meatloaf.
- Thank you, hal.
This week's drawing is
the second-biggest jackpot
in state history.
The lottery provides support
for schools...
- Oh, yeah.
Some support.
We alone spend thousands.
They just keep cutting programs,
funding.
- Like, thousands of dollars?
- Yeah, Jessie, dollars.
12 tickets a week
for over a decade.
That's over $6,000.
Good luck, everyone.
Your winning numbers are...
49.
- Oh...
- Whoo!
- That's what
I'm talkin' about.
Next is 38.
Next, we have 44.
And that's followed
by 48.
And now,
tonight's gold mega ball is...
13.
- Fuck.
If no one wins this one...
- And I guess
I didn't miss anything.
- Nope.
- Next week's jackpot
will be a record
of over $250 million.
Remember,
the future's in your hands.
Tonight, we're reporting
on mayor Shirley paine's
controversial plan
to demolish
the historic main library,
once the heart
of highland park's civic core.
She had this to say about plans
for a new fashion center mall
to replace the 90-year-old
Mozart structure.
- Isn't that wonderful?
The mayor says
she'll utilize
a $150,000 federal Grant,
originally earmarked to study
the library's restoration,
to instead demo the...
- Is, um...
Anybody else
questioning these numbers
we've been playing
for over ten freakin' years?
Ed, I understand.
You know, your old man
won that sweepstakes
with the 12 lucky tickets.
- One for each apostle.
- You don't even
believe in religion.
- I believe in fate.
- So we were fated to play
6,000 lotto tickets
and not win a dime.
- Starting to sound like
you're blaming me for something.
- I'm not blaming you, i...
but...
Let's look at this.
Does anyone consider these
might be our unlucky numbers?
I mean, 12 and 13.
Well, those are for
your anniversary, right, Jess?
- Yeah.
Why?
- How long
you been divorced?
- Hey, I happen to like
my birthday.
- I got no problem
with your birthday, Toni.
Ed's birthday...
- It wasn't my fault
I was born the same day
as Hitler.
Oh.
- No, it wasn't.
It was fate, right?
I mean, all I'm saying
is that, uh,
guys, none of US
have any money
to waste anymore.
I know it's just
a couple of bucks a week,
but with the money
we've spent so far,
we could have bought
some books.
We could have, I don't know,
planted a garden.
We could be sending a better
message to our students
than, "grow up
and get together once a week
and pray for a miracle."
- Nah, come on, Lloyd.
Now, what is not
what we're doing here.
- I'm just here
for the beer.
- Here, hal.
Here you go.
I'm out of here.
- That cover
next week's tickets?
- Nope, that's just for the beer
and the mystery meat.
- Lloyd.
You out?
- Come on, stick around.
Play some darts.
- Yeah.
You really out?
- Good luck, guys.
- Got a bad-ass attitude.
I don't care
what you say.
These are
our lucky numbers:
Anniversaries,
kids' birthdays.
That's who we are.
- You saying we're losers?
- Okay.
Who's being cut?
- All of them.
Don't...
don't say anything.
Let's let 'em have
this last night
before they give up
on this place for good.
♪ ♪
- ♪ what's a fight with
the right to keep it clean ♪
♪ what's the harm
from an angle of defeat ♪
♪ if every step
we live outside ♪
- Is he okay?
- Sure, he's fine.
- ♪ And go to sleep ♪
- So we're still
gonna do this?
- Sure, of course.
Now, I'll cover his bet.
- Aw, man,
with a streak like ours.
- ♪ Sell a tale at a price
we can agree ♪
♪ what's the harm
in charging... ♪
- Hey.
I got you covered, okay?
- ♪ Just to stop them
from belief ♪
- I'll buy the tickets on my way
up to the lake.
All right?
- ♪ Oh,
where they can never reach ♪
- Caroline, shut up.
- Romeo...
- You are definitely
over your video limit.
Upstairs. Math.
Caroline, sweetheart,
can you please
go and declaim somewhere else,
all right?
Hey, you.
- Hey.
- Did you tell them?
- What was I gonna say?
"Thank you for 20 years
of dedication,
"but you better go find
someplace to flip burgers now,
"because, sports arenas,
they buy more boats
than students who can read."
Nobody's gonna talk
to me anymore.
- Yes, they will.
Nobody thinks
this is your fault.
- Yeah. Maybe.
Maybe I should have stuck
to teaching history.
- You hungry?
I, uh...
Ate some meatloaf.
Eww.
Told you
not to eat that.
I think it's dog.
Yeah, I'm not hungry.
Just keep looking
for signs.
Something that tell me
what to do.
- How do you mean?
- I know
I'm superstitious.
- Eccentric, ed.
- No.
- You're eccentric.
- There's just something
out there you gotta find.
At some point,
you either give up on it
or decide
you're gonna do battle.
My stomach's growling.
Wanna stop to get lunch?
- Don't know where,
way out here.
Wouldn't go counting on that
as any big sign.
Well, that was fate.
- Hey, wait, wait.
What am I supposed
to do with this?
- Pick one, of course.
- They're only cookies, ed.
Looks like you're out of luck.
Go ahead.
Take another.
Legend says you're supposed
to pick the one
that's pointing at you.
♪ ♪
- But remember to eat
the whole thing,
or it won't come true.
Or was it,
you eat the fortune
and...
Hmm.
- Sometimes,
you've just gotta take things
into your own hands.
- What's it say?
- You're not supposed
to tell.
♪ ♪
- This is awesome.
Lloyd...
You ready for some pain?
- Yes.
- The mayor's here
for your list of cuts.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, send her in.
- It's time to share
the pain, Lloyd.
Share the pain.
- That's a great slogan.
You should run on that.
You know, Shirley,
why don't you just
shut the whole school down?
I mean, all these kids
really need to know
is how to supersize
a friggin' combo meal, right?
- You still can't get your mouth
around the word "fuckin'."
If you'd figured that out
20 years ago,
you might be doing something
worthwhile by now.
- You obviously
have no problem
getting your mouth
around things.
- You got your list?
- Yeah.
I got it.
I didn't fire
any firefighters
or anything heroic
like that,
just let go
of the last people
committed
to this city's future.
That's all.
- ♪ Down
by the riverside ♪
- What the hell is that?
- ♪ the riverside ♪
- That would be
one of the budget cuts.
- Oh.
- So, uh...
- Hmm?
- I guess last night
makes sense now.
Lloyd's canning US.
All of US.
- Now, everybody,
gather around.
I need to talk to you
for a second.
- Here's the thing.
School board has announced
that they're gonna have
to cut funding
for all intramural sports,
including football.
What?
- So they're gonna cancel
the rest of the season.
They said
we could keep playing,
if we wanted to accept
certain rule changes.
I told 'em to shove it
up their ass.
- What kind of rules, coach?
- Two-handed touch.
No rushing the passer
till five-Mississippi.
You know what I'm saying?
- Fuck that!
That's some bullshit!
- But I would rather forfeit
all of our games
than turn you guys
into a bunch of pussies!
- That's right, coach!
- That's right!
- ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ha ha ♪
♪ ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ ♪
♪ all right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ ah ha yeah ♪
- Just be kind of calm.
- It's $10.45
for that toy gun.
And I'll suggest you want
to put the ski mask
back on aisle seven,
or I'm gonna have
to charge you
for that too.
Now, you got anything else
under there?
Now, you could have got
a discount on the gun set,
but you opened it.
Makeup set.
That's clearance.
There's that.
Jess, man,
you stoned again?
Man, you go on doing this,
and somebody might just
shoot you for the hell of it.
- Hey, oh!
Get in the kitchen.
Come back here.
A gun, huh?
- Yeah, it's all they had.
- Um, so how
about the check, Jess?
You buy presents,
I can't buy clothes.
God damn it, Jessie.
You're like a kid.
You know,
you don't get visitation
without child support.
- I'm on to something.
Okay? Just give me
a little bit of time.
- Right, right, one
of your grow light pot schemes
with Nicky?
I'm sorry, Jessie,
but no check,
no kids.
I don't wanna do this
anymore.
- The internship's
a crock of shit.
Thought it was a great step.
Get me into politics.
Get real experience.
But the mayor's
such a freak.
If this is politics, I should
have dropped out instead.
Walked main in garters.
Been a crack whore
and worked my way up.
Run for mayor myself.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you paying
any attention?
I'm sorry.
I just found out
today's my last day.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know?
- Internship's
in mayor's office.
- Oh, yeah. Right.
How's that going?
- You okay there?
You're worrying me.
You gotta stop taking
all that superstition crap
so seriously.
- You're looking
a little green.
I'm not so sure
that was chicken.
♪ ♪
- ♪ love ♪
♪ in the summer ♪
♪ ♪
♪ hot, dry and ♪
♪ ♪
♪ on a ♪
♪ lizard highway ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I have no name ♪
♪ ♪
- Is that fate
I see in your hands?
- ♪ And I ♪
♪ always knew ♪
- May?
- You on the road, baby?
- Yeah. Yeah.
We...we're making
good time.
I had some bad chicken.
I...it's sort of
a revelation.
Like when god
talks at you.
- About the chicken?
- No, may.
Not about the chicken.
I'll tell you about that later,
when I get back.
I just stopped to purchase a...
- just...just have
a good time, ed.
- Hey...
- Ed...
- What?
- Ed, are you there?
- Hey, may, may...
may!
- Who?
- Damn.
Hmm.
Bought 12 tickets...
In this lottery, every week,
since time began.
And you know something?
I haven't won a thing.
I'm not...I'm not...
I'm not complaining.
Not complaining.
Just...
Is this it?
- Got your numbers?
It's lotto fever again,
and the Internet's abuzz
with how to win the lottery
and spend your winnings.
- Don't people know the odds are
they can guess the phone number
of the person sitting
next to them
before hitting that jackpot?
They want an article
on how to increase
their odds of winning,
it would go great with the one
on how to housebreak
their unicorn.
- Come on, this might be
many people's only chance.
I mean, one chance
is better than none.
- Yeah, hope's alive and well
in the motor city,
but when you wake up
tomorrow morning
and money hasn't fallen
from the sky, then what?
- Well, there's always
next week.
- Think he'll even show up?
- I wouldn't.
- I say, if he does,
we punch him in the throat.
Cut off his air supply.
With a jackpot
of $252 million,
this is sure to be one
for the record books.
Check your numbers
carefully,
as you may already be holding
the key to your dreams.
Be sure to come back
after the break,
in time
for this week's drawing.
- Thank you, reg.
- My pleasure,
Mr. Coolidge.
- Hey, reg.
You got any specials?
- No.
- Okay, um...
Some pork chops then.
- Thought it was a fine idea
to cancel football?
My son's been waiting
three seasons
for a sc...
- look...
We just don't have any money.
How come you're so nice
to coolidge?
Didn't he evict you?
- 'Cause he's the only one
still buys a fine side of meat.
Banksters stopped buying them
in the grave.
- Banksters?
- Financed gangsters.
My son cops a doughnut
from the liquor store,
you bet your ass
he's in jail.
They Rob pension funds,
life savings,
and get a bigger bonus.
This year was
my son's last chance.
What's happened to you?
You're not the lawyer
that I remember...
getting stoned behind the quad
and playing pranks.
He would have never sold out
his friends.
- In case you haven't noticed,
I'm the principal now.
Okay? And there really is
nothing I can do.
I don't want to cut football.
- Like you said,
you're the man.
- Not really.
I mean, they give me a budget.
I've got to make
that budget work.
And with all these cuts, i...
- someone says "lean,"
you think I cut off
the good meat?
You're telling me you got
no fat in your budget?
- I think
you should listen to the man.
Remember to check
your numbers closely.
Our first number tonight
is 40.
- Mm!
- That's followed by...
19.
- Ooh!
Next, we have 22.
And for our next white ball...
- Hey, guys...
The number three.
- Hey, guys!
And the final
white ball for tonight...
Is 12.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god,
we won something.
- And now...
- Guys!
For the gold mega ball,
for a record jackpot...
- Oh, my god, we won.
- Worth $252 million...
Tonight's mega ball is...
Two!
- What was the first number?
- 40.
And the bonus was two.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
- Nah.
- Is that our ticket?
- I'm gonna check
your damn numbers on the wall.
- We won.
For all those
who need it...
- I'm dreaming.
Somehow, I thought
it would be different.
- Like...
- Your lottery dollars
go directly
to support local...
- Angels or music
or something.
- Holy mother of god.
We'll see you again
next Thursday.
- Hey, everybody.
Um...
Look, I know I'm the last person
you want to see right now.
I probably...probably
shouldn't even be here.
But, um, I just...
I just wanted to come by and...
Apologize.
I'm really sorry.
- Toni, it's...
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- Look...
We're gonna...
we're gonna cut the fat.
We're gonna find the money.
I'm gonna do
whatever it takes
to get you guys
your jobs back, okay?
- Yeah, see, the thing is
is, uh,
I don't think we're gonna
want our jobs back.
- Nah.
- Oh, please.
Don't...don't be like that,
guys, all right?
We're still a team.
We're still...
- We won.
- Oh, nobody wins
in these situations.
- We...won.
- All right, you guys
are freaking me out.
What did you win?
- We won.
We won!
We won!
- The numbers
that you always bet...
You finally hit!
I checked it 50 times!
- We won!
- That's great, you guys.
I'm...wow.
That's...I'm really,
really happy for you.
- What are you talking about?
- You kept the faith.
And that's...
well, you guys, I didn't
buy in this week.
- Ed spotted you
and Jessie.
You both won!
- Uh, how much?
- Uh, uh, uh...
- $252 million!
- $252 million!
- Oh, my god.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
so, wait.
- No. No.
- Yes!
- I'm a millionaire?
- You're a millionaire,
and you are a millionaire,
and you are a millionaire,
and you're a millionaire.
And that's a millionaire,
and I am a millionaire!
Yeah!
- Hey, we should
go look for ed.
- Lilly! Open up!
Lilly!
Lilly, open the door.
I got...
ha ha. Yes.
Lilly!
Lilly! Lilly!
- What the hell, Jessie?
I told you if you
showed up here again drunk,
I'd have to call the cops.
- No, no, no, no, no!
It's different now.
I'm rich!
- Ohh, god, Jessie,
what did you do?
- Well, I won
the fuckin' lottery.
- Jessie, you've got to get
off the drugs.
- No...no.
I can buy anything now.
I can buy you anything now!
- All right, Jessie,
you don't get it.
You could be the richest guy
on earth,
and I still wouldn't let you
in that apartment.
Now, go sleep it off.
- What?
What?
Uhh!
- Aw, yeah.
Who's the king?
- ♪ There's me ♪
♪ there's you ♪
♪ there's too many
rabid rabbits ♪
♪ in the petting zoo ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ there's me, there's you ♪
♪ there's him ♪
- ohh.
- ♪ There's a monkey
with a bright red butt ♪
♪ in my jungle gym ♪
- Jessie, open this door!
- Hey, may!
- Open the door, Jessie.
- ♪ Here's me ♪
- All right.
- ♪ I'm like a rodeo bull ♪
♪ got my head against the wall ♪
- Jessie!
Open this damn door.
- I got it, I got.
- Oof!
What the hell
is wrong with you?
- I'm rich.
Get out this damn bus.
- He's just rambling
about all sorts of stories
and the lottery
and his kids and things.
I didn't know who to call.
Ed's not back
for four days.
- May...
- Hmm?
- The lottery thing...
That's kind of true.
What, he actually
won some money?
- Actually, we all
won some money.
I was gonna try to call you
this morning,
just to see if we could
get ahold of ed.
- Up at the cabin?
Why would we do that?
- 'Cause it's kind of big.
- Big?
How big?
- Big.
- Lloyd.
- It's a couple hundred
million.
- What?
You want some cocoa?
- Uh...no.
I'm okay.
Let's just deal with the...
Jess, what's going on?
Jess!
- Jeez.
Ugh. Damn it.
Ed's gonna kill me.
Sheriff locked me out
a couple days ago.
So I been living in the bus.
It was good, though.
- Can we get ahold of ed?
- He don't tell me
where he goes.
Superstitious about the fish.
But...
At least this little brat's
filthy rich now.
Pawned my toaster last time,
and Ed's...
Glue gun.
- That was a good glue gun.
There's three tvs.
My dad used
to take US camping
in one of these.
He had one, you know,
when I was a kid.
And I would just stay
in the back and just goof off.
Well, he lost it when,
you know, he got laid off.
But I thought, if I could
ever buy one of these,
it would be like...
Being a kid again.
And it's got a popcorn button,
which is great, I mean...
There you go, boss.
- Thank you, hal.
Oh, uh, we're good
for this, right?
Hell, yeah!
Are you kidding?
- Hey.
- So...turns out
there were
only two winning tickets.
One up in the u.P.,
and ours.
- Wow.
- Each worth about 62...
$62 million,
after taxes.
So, uh...
That's...
$10,200,062 and some change.
Each.
- Yeah, that.
- Okay.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- All right, tell you what.
We gotta lay low
for a few days, okay?
Let's not have any, uh,
goodfellasmoments.
Nobody go out and, you know,
buy a new Cadillac or...
- Well, it's not...
it's not a Cadillac.
It's a discovery.
- Anybody else?
- Nah, man.
No, no, no. No, no.
- Okay.
Keep it in the garage.
And...cheers.
- Cheers.
- Merna, I've got to...
I've got to warn you.
- Goodness, Lloyd.
I volunteer.
You don't even pay me
anymore.
You can't fire everyone,
you know.
- I've got to warn you
to expect a delivery.
Every pulitzer
and nobel prize-winning novel,
plus ten new computers.
- Excuse me?
Did someone cap the mayor?
- Let's take one step
at a time.
Shaun bought them,
so you can thank him.
Uh,
and about the old library...
- oh, if somebody tries
to tear it down again,
I'll have
the whole conservancy there.
All 14 of US will chain
ourselves to the door.
- Actually, it should be
reopened by next summer.
And your old job will be
waiting for you.
Wow, you really
are quite a cynic
for such a sweet lady.
- ♪ Ridin' through the city
on my bike all day 'cause... ♪
- I got to resupply
in town tomorrow.
- No, no, I'll go.
Your luck's been great.
- No, I gotta go.
- You still feeling
that chick?
- ♪ Fella looking dapper, and
he's sitting with a slapper ♪
♪ then I see it's a pimp
and his crack whore ♪
♪ you might laugh,
you might frown ♪
♪ walkin' round
London town ♪
♪ sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I want to be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I want to be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ When you look
with your eyes ♪
♪ everything
seems nice ♪
♪ but if you look twice ♪
♪ you can see
it's all lies ♪
♪ there was a little, old lady
who was walking down the road ♪
♪ she was struggling
with bags from tesco ♪
♪ there were people from the
city having lunch in the park ♪
♪ I believe that it's called
al fresco ♪
♪ when a kid came along
to offer a hand ♪
♪ but before she had time
to accept it ♪
- $6,300 in supplies.
Bet you the clerk hadn't seen
that kind of order in this town
in decades.
- I hope he didn't
start crying.
- No, but my visa did.
I never thought you could bottom
out three of those
in two days.
You know,
they should be illegal.
Like crack.
Seriously.
- ♪ Would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪
♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪
♪ would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪
- Lloyd Howard,
line one.
- Cute stunt.
You remember channels?
- I wanted
to get something done.
Why would I
go through channels?
- I wonder how the press
got there.
- I called them.
- You called them?
- What's in the budget
to restore that playground?
- In the budget?
15 grand.
- All right, I want that
sent to the school.
- You want it sent
to the school?
- Do we have
a bad connection?
- Excuse me?
- A bad connection.
You keep repeating
everything I say.
- I assure you,
the connection's fine.
- Well, that's a relief.
Um, we're gonna
do some cleanup
at the old library tomorrow.
The money budgeted for that,
we're gonna want that too.
Guess it wasn't such
a good connection after all.
This is all plugged in.
Take that and whack the crap
out of anything you see, okay?
- Same reporters,
one bloody news cycle.
That's what you're worth.
Oh, bringing the child's
a nice touch.
- I'm not a child.
- No, of course not.
You're a prop.
- Hey, leave the kid
out of this.
$150,000 Grant to help
restore this place.
That ring a bell?
- Yeah.
What about it?
- I want it.
- Is this a shakedown,
or are you running
for office or something?
Zero chance.
I got that money earmarked
to demo this place.
- All right, have it your way.
Over here, guys.
- Over here.
The mayor's going to speak.
- Watch your step.
- We got some great news.
Uh, mayor paine here
has just offered
a $150,000 Grant
to help restore this place.
- Why the change of heart,
mayor?
- Mayor,
why the sudden flip-flop?
- I'm not prepared to comment
on details just yet.
- We're also going to create
a community garden
here on the grounds.
It's gonna produce
some organic foods
for local consumption,
unless we find
some toxic waste
which...
then we're not gonna do that.
But very generous Grant,
so thank you, mayor paine.
- One day, you say
you're tearing it down,
and now you're rebuilding it.
Can you explain that further?
- I'll talk
to you guys later.
- Sure, no problem.
- Thank you.
Appreciate it.
- Thank you.
- You, my friend,
just hit the third rail.
- Eat me.
- Eileen, why don't you
go out there
and pick up some trash
and make a big show of it
when you get something?
We can get a good shot
of you.
Make it look like
you give a shit.
- And I wanted
to talk to you
about the future.
About an idea I have.
- Okay.
- Maybe going
to Chicago
and auditioning
for a show.
- Well,
what's stopping you?
- I was hoping
for a little inspiration.
- You should go.
- Am I
interrupting something?
I...
You know, when...
when I was 14,
I saw that movie 10,
all right?
The one with Bo Derek.
And I guess,
ever since then,
I've just been kind of
searching for something.
- An ideal woman or porn?
- I feel like we have
radically different views
about our friendship.
I'm not your buddy.
And now you have some fantasy
about some perfect woman
who's gonna give you
some perfect life.
Is that what women are to you?
- No!
No, that's not even
what I meant.
You know, i...
okay, you...first of all,
you didn't even
let me finish.
- We just won the lottery,
and all you can do is obsess
over another hot girl!
- God, Toni, I was just
trying to tell you how I felt.
- Oh, well,
here's how I feel.
You're a gibbon.
- A what?
- A two-legged jackass!
- You got it.
- Hey, family.
- What up?
- Jess.
- Yeah?
What's this?
- It's a hybrid.
- What, are you serious?
- Well, just until you
get back on your feet again.
Mr. Howard, you're the man!
- Well...well, dad.
You should have bought him
a Cadillac.
You can afford it.
- An obvious failure
of our public school system.
We don't buy things just because
we can afford them, right?
Jess needed transportation,
so that's what he got.
Go.
- Okay.
- Huh.
I am just so happy
that Jessie got a new car.
There's no reason
that we should get
a new car,
like a tricked out SUV
with video headsets,
retractable moon roof,
multi-position heated seats,
or 12-speaker stereo system.
- Like that one?
- You did not.
I did.
Oh, my...
What happened to everything
you said back there?
- Yeah, well, let's just
keep it in the garage.
- Mm!
Mwah! Mwah!
All right,
Mr. Values.
- Hey,
I still got values.
I just think we've sacrificed
enough, don't you?
Let's live
a little.
It's got multi-position
heated seats.
- ♪ Nobody but you and me ♪
♪ oh, baby... ♪
- Guess what.
We don't allow gum
at this school.
- I make the rules,
remember?
So I'm not gonna beat
around the bush.
Rumor has it you have
an ace up your sleeve.
A real game changer.
- What rumor?
- What you no longer
care about cash
or bills.
Or perhaps even me.
- Well...
I can neither confirm
nor deny such a rumor.
That being said,
lose the fucking gum.
- Do you have any idea
how big this is?
Even someone
with your limited ambition
must surely
comprehend it.
With your luck
and my connections,
think governor.
No, no,
national office.
See, I worked my ass off
to get here,
but if don't have the millions
to throw around
to make people
love me.
- So you want mine.
- It's just politics.
Why don't you come
by the lodge tonight?
- Why would I do that?
- No opposition to grants,
to start.
Is there
an imagination in there?
Huh?
A playground and...
That rattrap of a library.
Oh, wait.
Let's see
if I can do this.
Oh.
"A" for effort.
See ya later.
Whoo.
A-plus.
You gotta be kidding me.
- Mr. Howard...
- Mr. Howard!
- How does it feel
to win the lottery?
- How long have you been playing
the lottery?
- Can you give US a statement
on how you plan
to use the money?
- I'm not prepared to comment
at this time.
I'm sorry.
- Principal Howard, when
will you claim your winnings?
- It's complex.
As you might imagine,
there's a lot
of planning ahead.
Mr. Howard! Mr. Howard!
- Will you be donating the money
to one of your...
- all right,
what we'd like to do
is put the money
to some good use.
Reopen some libraries,
uh, clean up some parks.
- We want to hear
about how you plan on spending...
- it's a fun game, huh?
It's fun.
- Hey, who told you
you could leak our win?
- We need
national exposure.
You're not gonna get anywhere
pimping
of principal-to-principal,
but rags-to-riches
gets them every time.
I got one chance to put
this place on the map,
and nothing's gonna get
in my way.
We gotta get our share
of the bailout billions,
navigate
through all the red tape
and your idiotic altruism,
and luck's our in.
- Hey.
The shiny people.
- Hey.
- Well, as an important member
of our community now,
I thought it was time
I brought you
into the inner circle.
I believe you know
almost everyone.
- Why is it I feel
like an open vein
at a vampire convention?
So...
- Pleasantries aside.
I really wanted you
to meet
one of our most successful
alums.
- Well, I never
really graduated.
- Oh.
- Is that Ali?
- Your favorite
history student.
- Um...welcome back.
You got expelled,
didn't you?
- Well,
after your history class
ended my troubled relationship
with authority, I started...
- all right, you hacked in
and changed your grade
in the school's computer.
- Well, I didn't think
it was fair.
- Ali wants to build
a factory here.
- I started my own company,
making turbines
for alternative
energy systems.
After our little
misunderstanding.
And the towers
went down,
my dad was laid off,
moved to California.
Like a modern-day Tom joad
from the grapes of wrath.
You called it.
Highland park's the capital
of the rust bowl.
The simple fact is,
we gave up
on people's jobs.
They want to put
their hands to work
and build things
they'd be proud of.
See, I was paying attention
in your class.
I want to take over
the old American bearing plant
where our dads worked.
With my people,
the hope's in your own hands.
- What an opportunity...what are
the big plans for your future?
- Uh, yeah, well,
I'd like to create an urban
farm co-op in highland park.
- What about a Ferrari
or a yacht or your own island?
- Mr. Howard's
being very modest.
We had
a fantastic meeting.
He's decided to expand
his local cleanup project,
and to jump-start it,
he's made the miraculous offer
to donate $1 million
of his winnings.
- That's a lot of money.
- So he's gonna write a check?
- Uh...that's wrong.
- The mayor's got that
a little bit wrong.
Um, I've actually
decided to...
Give...
$5 million...
Principle Howard...
- To grassroots programs.
We're gonna clean up
some parks,
uh, restore the old library,
some after-school activities,
uh, restore some pri...
we're gonna restore
some pride around here.
- This is great for the kids.
What about...
- and I am honored
that the mayor
has decided
to match these funds
in order to hire back
some teachers
and rebuild
the library.
- Why the change
of heart?
Thank you, mayor.
- Mayor,
where's the money coming from?
- All right, great.
Thank you. Excuse me.
- Has your brother now bid
on the library restoration?
- Yes, it's a very inspired
meeting we had in there.
Now, they say that money
can't buy everything.
But it can.
That's always confused me.
Because that's what money does,
it buys things.
You know?
- So...
No goodfellasmoments, huh?
- What was I gonna do?
I'm not gonna let her
push me around anymore.
- And are you really gonna
give all your money away
just because Shirley beat out
your wife for homecoming queen?
- That is not what I did,
I...
Look, this is a good thing.
It's worthwhile.
- I think we should at least
have the money in hand
before we spend
any more of it.
- You know,
would you leave him alone?
You gotta spend your money
on what makes you happy.
All right, brah.
Like when I bought
that ring for char.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
- Who's char?
- I thought you were with Toni!
- Oh, no, no, no, man.
That would have
never worked out.
- 'Cause she's
smarter than you?
Frankly...yes.
- But I want to provide
for somebody.
You know
what I'm saying?
You know, have them adore me.
- Yeah.
- Love me.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Sounds like you want a pet.
- You know, char needs me.
Okay?
I can get her things, things
that she can't get herself.
You know, Toni,
on the other hand, you know,
she can get everything
that I can get for her.
So I don't think...you know,
why would she need me?
Okay? I just don't see it.
- I don't know, companionship?
- Ooh, that's a good one.
Hey, how about love, huh?
- If he can spend half of
his money on an ancient grudge,
then I can spend
some of my money
on a young, beautiful,
sexy...
- congratulations.
- Hey!
- No, no.
No, thank you.
Thank you, yeah.
He's already taken twice.
- Okay.
- Thanks very much.
Thanks very much.
Move along.
So, uh, what did Sylvia say
when you told her
you were gonna give away
your money?
- Pretty sure
it won't be good.
- You didn't tell her?
- Man, come on!
Look, you know what happens
to people who win the lottery.
They either end up broke
or in prison.
- We're inviting everybody
to help stop
this city's slide
into oblivion.
And we're starting here
at the city's heart.
Uh...the old library.
And you at home,
you can start
in your own front yards.
Uh, paint out some graffiti.
Mow down some weeds.
- Well, highland park
turned out in force today.
Not to volunteer,
unfortunately,
but to celebrate
in a big way.
- There's zero chance
that anyone
is gonna raise a finger
to save this place.
Why didn't you talk to me
before you made
that kind of a decision?
- I'm sorry, i...
I'm sorry.
It...
I...
Look, this is a chance
for me to do something
that I've always
wanted to do.
Besides, we're...we got
plenty of money left over.
I mean, we get,
uh, you know,
enough to send the kids
to a good school.
We're gonna buy
a big, new house.
- Hmm!
- We're gonna get
some appliances.
Tell you what.
Tomorrow...
I'm gonna buy a mattress.
A big one.
With sheets.
And pillows.
- Ohh.
- Yeah. Hmm?
- You're just
talkin' dirty now.
- Mm.
Refrigerator.
- Refrigerator.
- Mm-hmm.
Dishwasher.
- Dishwasher.
- Ohh!
- Um...
Electric can opener.
- Argh!
- ♪ What ghost is rattling
your front porch ♪
♪ can't tell what's golden ♪
- This is for $1 million.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I thought
you should have it.
Uh, wait a couple days,
though,
before you cash it.
- Um...no, i...
I just want the regular check.
Okay, your responsibility
to the kids.
- Jesus, Lilly, that'll
buy you anything they want.
I just want you
to be happy.
- That is so sweet,
Jess.
But, please, just pay
what you're supposed to, and...
Stay sober.
Okay? That's what'll
make me really happy.
- Well, can I take
the kids bowling?
Ah, some of the guys
are going out to celebrate.
- Do you have
the regular check?
- ♪ I know you'll offer up
the full course ♪
- Okay, um...Jessica.
Jordan, he's gonna
take you bowling, okay?
- Cool!
- ♪ What ghost is rattling
your front porch ♪
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- ♪ On his head ♪
♪ I know you'll offer up
the full course ♪
♪ they'll wait for hours
until they're fed ♪
- No candy this time.
I promise.
- Okay.
Thanks.
- ♪ Oh, until they're fed ♪
- You okay?
- I gotta go.
- Did you get
your diarrhea pills?
- Whooooo!
- Whew.
Glad I went for the pork.
- So, uh, can you
afford this place?
'Cause I know his pension
and the uaw health plan
kind of bankrupt, so...
- Oh, I can afford it, thanks.
- Well, just been a lot
of looky-loos lately.
Since the economy
hit the skids,
folks looking
to unload their problems.
- Well, my dad's
not a problem.
- All right, sure.
Oh, lord have mercy.
Don't...ah...mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
- Excuse me,
do you have a problem?
- Just keep him
away from the plants.
- Well,
he's not gonna hurt 'em.
- He's trying to water it.
- Maybe it needs watering.
- It's plastic.
- Dad.
- Hmm?
- Come on.
Let me ask you something.
Is there something
we can do about the smell?
- These folks
don't mind.
- Well,
what about their visitors?
- Visitors?
They lucky if they got
bedbugs to keep 'em company.
- Dad.
Let's just go home.
Lovely place.
- Mm-hmm, thank you.
- So how was the flight?
- Had screaming brats
on the first leg.
What's with the millionaire
sending economy tickets?
- Is that a TV
or a movie screen?
- Merv, dad can't
see the screen.
- Oh. Oh, oh.
- So when are you gonna buy
a real home
and some nice furniture?
- I don't know.
Happened so fast, uh...
Not much room
on the credit card
until I get the check.
- You don't have
the money yet?
Do you...do you think
you're gonna get it soon?
- Don't know.
I guess so.
I guess I should check.
- Duh!
- Merv, screen!
- Ooh.
- I didn't want to press,
but we're kind of in need.
- What kind of need?
- 120 days late
kind of need.
- Claire, you...
- don't Claire me.
It's the damn
real estate agents.
- How much do you need?
- 150,000.
- Holy shit!
- That's pocket change
to you.
- Okay, I'll see
what I can do.
You haven't even asked
about dad yet.
- Guess I was stressed
about the house.
- He keeps forgetting things.
I mean, even this lottery thing.
I tell him about it,
he gets all excited,
and the next day,
he doesn't remember it at all.
Guess the upside is dad gets
to win the lottery every day.
- Did I grow a target
on my forehead overnight?
Five lawsuits.
Never been sued in my life.
This janitor,
he moves to Ohio,
and he's suing me
for keeping him out of the pool.
- Didn't you fire him?
- Yeah, I fired everybody.
What, are they all
gonna sue me now?
How come none of you guys
are getting sued?
- 'Cause you're
the one on TV.
- We didn't fire anybody.
- That's the problem
with this country.
Everybody just wants
to blame everybody else.
- Isn't it getting
kind of late?
- Ed probably got tired
and pulled off
to stay the night somewhere.
- Well,
wouldn't he have called?
- 30 years,
he's only called me twice
'cause he's been late.
Once to bail him out.
You're done.
- Wow.
That kind of felt
like last call.
Ed, I don't get
what's happening with you.
What the hell was that?
- It's been circling out there
for a while now.
- What has?
- I'm not sure.
- Look...
We're supposed
to be home by now.
- You remember when you
were a kid, Bert?
Remember the beginning
of summer?
The sea of time
before you,
filled
with endless possibilities,
and the summer
came to an end, and you...
You started feeling
let down, like...
Like all those possibilities
weren't quite fulfilled.
That happened
until you realized one day...
That was your life
spread out in front of you.
The day
that I retired...
Was fired...
It felt like life...
It felt like life
was running out of summers.
And...
Lottery tickets
are a lot like summers.
Those blank tickets
hold all that possibility.
Until you fill them up
with your numbers.
Then you have
just one chance.
And then it's gone.
- Ed...
What exactly's happened?
- You know what?
- What?
- Run.
- What if he's dead?
Oh, don't tell me
it hasn't crossed your mind.
- He's not dead.
- He hasn't been seen
or heard from in days.
Maybe Bert murdered him,
or...
He fled to Canada
with the ticket,
or he lost it.
- Rory,
you're getting paranoid.
- Yeah, well, a fella in Collins
stole a million bucks
from some guys in a pool
in '93.
- And how do you have that
on the tip of your tongue?
- Gobbers told me.
- All right.
Wanna know my theory?
Ed's got a second wife.
And she found out, and she
killed him for our ticket.
- Oh, great.
- Plans to run off to Argentina.
- I know
what y'all talking about
'cause I'm a little worried
about him too.
His health
hasn't been that great.
But he's fine, okay?
So stop your worrying.
- May, do you want me to
stay here and keep you company?
- No, I'll be fine.
I'll call you all
as soon as he gets back.
Tomorrow is gonna be
a big day.
Go home
and get some rest.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Thank you, may.
- Paranoia aside,
if he's not here by noon,
I'm up there to find him.
- Better believe it.
- Ed?
Ohh! Baby, thank god.
Oh, what happened?
We were so worried
about you.
- I'm...I'm fine.
I ju...i just,
uh, took some time to do
a little soul searching.
So you know!
- Hey, may, may, may...
- What?
- Um, we've been together
over 36 years.
- Uh-huh.
- And in that time,
I've done some stupid things.
- They're all forgiven, baby.
None of that
matters anymore.
- May, I-I need...
I need for you to listen
because i...
I practiced what I had to say
100 times in my head,
and I don't want
to mess it up.
- Okay.
- You might murder me.
- Oh!
Okay, I'm all ears.
- You know
I'm just like anyone.
You know,
you're gonna see signs
and find meaning
in little things,
like, uh, my lucky number
in a license plate...
- Mm-hmm.
- You know,
and something like that.
- See,
after all these years, baby,
nobody thinks
you're crazy anymore.
Come on, tell me
about your vision!
- Th-the...it just...
It ended up just being
food poisoning.
- That's nonsense, ed.
We won!
We won, baby!
The only thing we have
to worry about is...
Where we gonna spend
our retirement,
and what hotel
we gonna stay in...
In Paris!
- There's not going to be
a hotel, may.
No retirement.
No Paris.
- Of course there is, baby.
Of course.
- No, no, I didn't buy
the tickets, may.
I bought
some other silly ticket
with the numbers
from this damn fortune cookie.
Uh...may...
You all right?
People just want to believe
there's gotta be
something more.
If not,
then what's the difference?
All those visions, astrologers,
superstitions...no.
"What if that beggar was god"
kind of stuff.
Ah, makes you crazy sometimes.
- Ed, I know
you're trying to...
Put some structure
on this, but...
That beggar, you know,
sometimes is just a beggar.
A cigar sometimes
just a cigar, ed.
What we gonna do?
This is all on US.
- We're no worse off
than before.
I mean, things weren't
that bad, were they?
Now, disappointing, yeah.
But it's not like
we told 'em we're dying.
You know, all we do is
tell them that...
They are who they were...
Before they won.
- Well, it sounds
a little better
when you say it
like that, but...
It's not true, ed.
This is big, man.
This is...you have...
No idea how big this is.
It's inspired people.
Revolted others.
Yeah, look.
Well, say something, ed.
Come on, now,
you're the one who said
that we still have
our health.
Come on, say something.
- Fuck.
Hey!
- Ed, ed, ed, ed.
- What's going on, old man?
Huh?
That's what I'm talkin' about!
- 40-year-old whiskey.
I been saving it
since...Forever.
Ah.
- We gonna...what?
- You owe me $4,740.
- Jeez, just for this
one bottle?
- For the tab.
Since you guys got lucky.
- What the hell
are you talking about, man?
What is your problem?
- What's wrong with Jessie?
- Let's each, uh,
have a glass of whiskey.
- Well, what's going on?
- I'd drink the whiskey first,
if I were you.
- He didn't buy
the ticket.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Say what?
- What do you mean,
he didn't buy the ticket?
- The motherfucker
bought a different ticket!
- Ed, is that true?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I-i-i...
I don't understand.
- I got $37,000 here
in cash.
I...i closed my savings.
I'd sell my house, if I can,
my car.
I...you can divide it up
amongst yours...
- you're not serious, man.
You're not serious,
you blue-balled,
pig-brained,
motherfuckin' cocksucker!
You can't be serious!
You are not serious right now!
- You owe me $10 million.
I am gonna fuckin' kill you!
- Jessie, come on.
Take it easy.
What's that gonna do?
- Well,
it's gonna make him dead.
- What can I do, huh?
- I want you to give me
the money.
- Jess, what the hell
is that, man?
- Glue gun.
- A pink one?
- Yeah, it was on clearance.
- He got it to replace
the one he pawned.
- Yeah, and now,
I'm gonna kill you with it.
- You gonna glue him
to death?
Come on,
we can't take his money.
- Bullshit!
- You wanna take his money,
Jessie, go ahead,
take his money.
- See?
- Guys, it's his money.
It's not like he stole it.
- Here. Here, take it.
I'll get more
and give it to you.
- Fuck!
- Yeah, I, uh...
Really needed
that money, ed.
I deserved it.
- Um...
Ed...
I don't understand this.
Um...
Y...
we've been buying
the same tickets for...
for ten years.
And you just decided
on your own
to buy a different one?
- I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Tell me
why you reach ♪
♪ grasping
for my knee ♪
♪ my wrist ♪
♪ ♪
♪ the ladder
on this beach ♪
♪ connecting you
to me ♪
♪ like this ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ah ah ♪
♪ ah ah ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ ♪
- Right now, I think
the most important thing
for US to remember
is that...
We're not that much
worse off
than we were
a week ago.
- Well,
except for the credit cards
and the cars and...
And the humiliation.
- Yeah,
except for that stuff.
Yeah, that stuff.
- And my job.
- They're gonna fire you?
- Well,
that depends on...
How well some people
handle surprises.
- This had better not be
a fuckin' trick
to get out of your moronic gift
or around me in some way.
You're fired!
- I figured that.
- And...
- and what? Can't do much else.
- The hell I can't.
Try fraud.
Conspiracy, extortion.
- You know that there
was nothing malicious
about any of this.
- I knew somehow,
you'd fuck me.
- I don't care enough about you
to want to fuck you.
You're the one that leaked it.
- Yeah, in a press conference
at 5:00 for your give-back,
whatever the fuck...
damn it, I am not gonna take
the fall for this!
- I figured that too.
- Well, you better figure
on the sky
falling down on you.
I'm gonna check your taxes.
I'm going to see if you
ever missed dotting an "i"
or crossing a "t."
Eileen, get your ass in here!
- Do you really want
to make this any worse
than it already is?
- You just go Bury yourself
and say nothing.
I'm gonna make you wish death
would solve your problems.
Scorched earth.
Make the calls.
I have very different plans
for today.
I have very different plans
for today.
I'd planned
to talk about my...
my citywide
volunteer initiative.
Instead, I gotta talk
about more dramatic cuts.
But first,
Lloyd Howard,
who claimed to have won
last week's lottery,
in fact
did no such thing.
Perhaps, like a firefighter
who sets fire to a house
in order to rush in
and rescue the family,
he wanted to be a hero.
But he's no hero.
This man attempted to extort
millions from public coffers
to fend off growing
financial difficulties.
I promise
a full investigation
and expect charges
to be filed shortly.
- It looks pretty ugly
out there.
Does may know
where he went?
- No, she just said
he was babbling on
about the library
and walked out the door
carrying a bunch of tools.
- Oh, that man
does not give up.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
Wish me luck.
- Remember, "no comment."
- There he is.
- There he is!
- No comment.
- Did you defraud, sir?
- You gave US hope,
and we trusted you!
How could you betray
your community?
- I've not betrayed
this place.
I suppose,
if I was a real crook,
I'd be asking for a bailout,
like everybody else.
Why aren't you...why aren't you
camped out on the mayor's lawn?
Or the director of fannie Mae
or Freddie Mac,
or any of those other idiots
who went out and spent a bunch
of money they didn't have?
Huh? Spent our money.
Other people's money.
Has anybody actually
looked around this place?
- So much
for "no comment."
- And you guys are just
standing around watching,
like it wasn't happening to you,
but it is.
It's happening to everybody,
all of US.
All I was trying
to do is...
Get people to get up off
their asses and do something,
take some responsibility.
You know?
Break the cycle,
before it breaks you.
- Loser's on a roll.
- Everybody, it's happening
to you and you and you.
- He's right,
you know.
- Oh, yeah?
What would you know?
- You told me once to act
as if I gave a shit.
For your info, I do.
- Is anybody
paying attention?
I think I've said enough.
Excuse me.
- Where's the owner
of that truck?
Get him out of here!
- Jess.
- Oh, great.
Hey.
- You on a bender?
- No. No.
No, no, no.
I, uh...
Stayed up all night.
Lost 5 grand
playing keno.
Thought I could win
our money back.
Look, I stopped.
I, you know,
took the rest of Ed's money,
and bringing it back here.
You know,
where I lost it all.
What the hell's
going on here?
- You know where Ed's at?
- No.
Inside, I guess.
- All right, get up.
- Yeah.
I'll, uh, I'll be right in.
♪ ♪
- What the hell's going on?
- Think his old butt
finally blew a gasket.
- Hey, ed.
What's up?
Something else I can do.
- And he thinks
that we want to murder him.
Now, I can't say that
that thought
hasn't crossed my mind,
but, you know...
may called me,
said she was worried about him,
so I came down here and...
hey.
What are you doing, man?
- Restoring this place.
- So what is this,
your penance for screwing up?
Come on, ed, this was all
just a half-assed idea anyway.
- You know what, I just say
we leave him up there.
Let him...let him finish it,
you know, this whole thing.
Then he can come to my house,
work on my house,
and then work his way
down the block
and finish
everybody else's house too.
- What would you
have me do?
- Well, try forgiving yourself
for a start.
- You guys haven't.
- Yeah, it's going to take
a little time.
- What if you're in jail?
- A bit more.
Look,
we gave it our best.
- No, you don't give your best,
you give what's necessary.
And you don't start something
and then walk away from it
when it gets tough.
That's why this place looks
the way it does.
- You're hopeless,
and I'm going to let you
handle it 'cause i...no, I just...
I'm not doing it.
♪ ♪
Motherfuckers.
Damn it.
Careful
with that stained glass.
It's supposed to go
in my living room.
Seriously,
you guys morons?
- Shirley.
Shirley,
what are you doing?
You can't do this.
- It's not as if all we needed
was a new coat of paint
and the weeds whacked.
You flushed
our only chance
of some real money
down the toilet.
Now I'm stuck doing
damage control.
- Well,
you could've helped.
You know, we could've turned
this place around.
- We have no jobs,
and I've got
an 80-year-old infrastructure
that needs
to be replaced
before sewage
starts spewing down the streets.
People see wrecking balls,
they see progress.
Okay, get to it.
- Wait, wait, wait. Ed...
ed and Jessie
are still inside.
- Damn it,
get them the hell out of there.
- What if they don't move?
What are you going to do?
- Arrest them.
- Well, then,
I'll join them.
- Then I'll arrest you too.
- And me?
- And me?
- I'm already going
to arrest you.
- You can't arrest
everybody.
- You honestly think
I'm afraid of you.
You can't even get people
to mow their lawns.
No one cares.
They've given up.
Why are you doing this?
- 'Cause I believe
they still do care.
- Ugh.
Oh, just drop it.
- You sure, boss?
- Drop it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
- ♪ Kiss the babies ♪
♪ and forget
their name ♪
♪ I was somebody ♪
♪ with a ball
and chain ♪
- I can't believe
she crushed your car.
- Yeah, I'm kind of bummed
about that.
- So we're just going
to give up here?
How far do you think
Martin Luther King
would've gotten
if he had announced
to the world,
"I have a nightmare"?
- Ed?
- Hmm?
- What in the hell does
Martin Luther King
have to do
with any of this?
- Because he shows you
how to win
with the hand
you're dealt.
- ♪ With a ball
and chain ♪
Well, I gotta go find a way
to make a living.
Wish me luck.
- Nothing personal,
but from now on,
beers are c.O.D.
- Ah, I got this one.
Seriously.
- Thanks, ed.
- Thanks, ed.
- So we going to pick
some new numbers?
Ah.
You guys can sleep on that.
- Figured I'd find
you all here.
Hi.
So I was picking up my stuff,
and somehow,
the mayor's computer
got in my bag.
Anyone know
how to break her password?
♪ ♪
- Listen, you still comfortable
breaking some federal laws,
maybe cracking
a password or two?
♪ ♪
Yeah!
- I heard
about this room.
I can see
how you'd forget
that people
are losing their homes.
Hey,
can I get a whiskey sour?
No?
What's it take to get
a drink around here?
- You have to be a member.
- Oh.
So what do I gotta do?
Ruin a bank and get billions
in bailouts?
- We didn't get billions,
Lloyd.
- I know, I'm exaggerating.
Billion.
What is the price of admission?
Is it $128,000
to build a cell tower
near your home?
Or is it
only 25 grand
in travel expenses
for a trade mission to Fiji?
Do we trade
with Fiji?
This is going to be fun.
Hmm.
This is highland park's
lucky day,
especially
for my buddy Ali here.
See, he's engineered what I like
to call a reverse bailout.
He's going to bring the most
innovative private investment
to highland park
since Ford.
You guys get to stay
out of jail.
- Are you some sort
of masochist?
- Remember those hud grants
that were supposed to go
to public housing
that never got built?
- So you've done
a little research.
- You'd be amazed
at what can be found
by one man
sitting alone at night
with nothing but the Internet
to distract him.
I also find it really sweet
that you thought
you could erase emails
just by deleting them.
- You guys really should update
your systems.
They're pretty much
an open book.
- So you're just
a couple of hackers.
- No, we just figure,
when something's broken,
you find a way
to fix it.
- With Doug's bailout,
we can finance the retooling
of the plant,
the community farm,
library restorations...
- I can't afford to make
those kind of loans
and stay in business.
- Doug,
you can't afford not to.
How much did you lend Shirley
to restore
her house,
just ballpark?
And, Shirley,
how much of that
did you end up paying back,
again, just ballpark?
- This is all
on the Internet?
- Not yet.
Thank you.
But we all know
what would happen
if 30,000 of your personal
emails were posted online.
Come on, if you can't see
that things have got to change,
you're all blind.
You know,
Doug here, he drives
his bank into the dirt
and walks away
with a $2.1-million bonus.
He owes US.
Why don't you reimburse the city
for tools and paints
and maybe buy some books,
maybe buy Rory a new car?
- Is this blackmail?
- I prefer the word justice.
- I'd like that.
- We need to put this place
back to work,
hire back our teachers,
and invest in our own future.
- Spoken
by a bankrupt idealist.
Sometimes you do what you have
to do in order to survive.
You've got to rise to the task
to be a leader.
- You're not a leader.
You're a cheesy,
money-hungry shrew
who should've been stuck giving
hand jobs under the bleachers
instead of screwing people
from behind the desk.
Okay?
Looks to me like
you're all fucked.
Now we...
we will clean this place up.
That's going to start
right here,
right now
in this room.
Gotta warn you,
there is some press out front.
I'm going to go start
the spin.
And unless any of you
want to explain
why you don't belong
in federal prison,
I suggest you follow my lead.
Thanks for the drink.
- ♪ Well,
it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you smile ♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Well, they look happy.
- Yeah, we had fun.
- That's good.
- Here's 97 bucks.
Better next time
with any luck.
You know, I'm really proud
of you, Jess.
I could just forget everything
that you've done, but...
♪ ♪
Do you want to come in?
- ♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ and in a year ♪
♪ a year or so ♪
♪ this will slip ♪
♪ into the sea ♪
♪ but it's been
a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you
smile ♪
- They came
for the camper.
- Okay.
- Looks like good pie,
dad.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Nobody raise
your voices ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ just another night
in nantes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ nobody raise
your voices ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ just another night
in nantes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Well, it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ and I'll gamble away ♪
♪ my fright ♪
♪ and I'll gamble away ♪
♪ my time ♪
♪ and in a year ♪
♪ a year or so ♪
♪ this will slip ♪
♪ into the sea ♪
♪ but it's been a long time ♪
♪ long time now ♪
♪ since I've seen you ♪
♪ smile ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Motherfucker.