Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002) - full transcript

ARNOLD!

*

COME ON. MOVE--
CLEAR, CLEAR!

I'M TELLING YOU,
ARNOLD, YOUR BALL
IS FLAT.

IT'S NOT FLAT.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE
LOW ON AIR.

LIKE I SAID,
YOUR BALL IS FLAT.

MAN, I STILL CAN'T
BELIEVE WE LET THOSE
FIFTH GRADERS BEAT US.

WELL, THE IMPORTANT
THING IS WE TRIED
OUR BEST.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS
WE GOT OUR BUNS WHOOPED.

COME ON, GERALD.
WE HAD FUN.

AND WE ALMOST
BEAT 'EM.
WHY DO YOU DO THAT, ARNOLD?



WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE?

SOMEBODY HAS TO.

MR. GREEN,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S SCHECK.
HE WANTS TO BUY UP
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD...

- SO HE CAN KNOCK IT DOWN
AND PUT UP A FANCY MALL.

THE PLAN, WHICH WAS
APPROVED BY THE MAYOR
JUST MOMENTS AGO,

WOULD ALLOW
FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES
TO REDEVELOP...

A SIX-SQUARE-BLOCK AREA
BETWEEN 33rd AND 39th STREETS.

OH, I UNDERSTAND
THE PRESIDENT AND C.E.O.
OF FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES,

MR. SCHECK, IS ABOUT TO
MAKE A STATEMENT.

THANK YOU.
I JUST WANT TO SAY...

I'M DELIGHTED
AT THE MAYOR'S SUPPORT
OF OUR RENEWAL PLAN.

NICE SUIT.
SHH!

- I AM BEHIND
MR. SCHECK'S PROJECT 100%.



ALTHOUGH SOME OF YOU
IN THE AFFECTED AREA...

MAY HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT
HOW THIS PLAN WILL IMPACT
YOUR HOMES AND BUSINESSES,

LET ME ASSURE YOU,
CHANGE IS GOOD.

THIS PLAN REPRESENTS
THE END OF URBAN DECAY,

THE END OF YOUR
BROKEN-DOWN SHOPS
AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS,

THE END OF ANTIQUATED
AND DILAPIDATED STOREFRONTS.

IT'S TIME FOR A NEW WORLD.
OUT WITH THE OLD,
IN WITH THE NEW.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH OLD THINGS?
SOME OLD THINGS ARE GREAT.

YEAH, LIKE MRS. VITELLO.

WHIPPERSNAPPER.
OW!

THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON
FOR MONTHS. THE CITY COUNCIL
RECOMMENDED AGAINST IT,

BUT THE MAYOR'S LETTIN'
HIM DO IT ANYWAY.

- I NEVER FIGURED
HE COULD PULL IT OFF.

IT MEANS THEY WANT US
TO SELL OUT AND MOVE AWAY...

SO THIS SCHECK CHARACTER
AND HIS BIG CORPORATION
CAN MOVE IN.

NO!
NO WAY!

- IT'S TIME TO PUT
THE PAST BEHIND US.

I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE,
AND IT'S FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES.

*

BUT THIS IS
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
THEY CAN'T JUST TEAR IT DOWN.

*

* THIS IS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

* HOW CAN THEY TEAR IT DOWN

* HOW CAN THEY TURN
OUR SMILE INTO A FROWN *

* IT MAY BE JUST A FEW

* BUT IT'S ME
AND YOU AND YOU *

NO. NO SINGING, EUGENE.
*

BUT I THOUGHT
THE OCCASION
CALLED FOR IT.

* WE MAY BE JUST A FEW
NO.

THIS IS SERIOUS.

OH, MY--

WE CAN'T TAKE THIS
LYING DOWN.

- WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!

- WE CAN REFUSE TO SELL
OUR HOUSES.

- WE'LL ALL SIGN A PETITION.

YEAH. LET EVERYBODY
KNOW THAT THIS IS
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO
GIVE IT UP WITHOUT A FIGHT.

HA! ARNOLD.
WHAT AN ANNOYING LITTLE
GOODY TWO-SHOES.

WHAT A DOPEY LITTLE DREAMER.
WHAT A CORNY LITTLE CORNBALL.

ALWAYS GOING AROUND TRYING
TO GET EVERYONE TO LOOK...

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
AND DO THE RIGHT THING.

HOW I DESPISE HIM.

AND YET...

I LOVE HIM.

I LOVE HIM.

I LOVE HIS UNERRING
SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG.

I LOVE HIS UNFAILING INSISTENCE
ON THE NEEDS OF THE MANY
OVER THE NEEDS OF THE FEW.

BUT, MOST OF ALL,
I LOVE THE WAY HIS HAIR
SMELLS...

WHEN I GET REAL CLOSE
BEHIND HIM AND HE DOESN'T
KNOW I'M THERE,

BUT THEN HE TURNS
AND LOOKS AT ME FUNNY.

I SCOWL AT HIM
AND MAKE AN EXCUSE
FOR BEING SO CLOSE.

THEN I INSULT HIM
JUST TO COVER UP THE SECRET,
ADORING FEELINGS...

FOR WHICH I HAVE SO LONG
AND PAINFULLY HARBORED.

OH, ARNOLD!

MR. GREEN CAN WRITE
THE PETITION.

SAY NO MORE, ARNOLD.
I'M ALREADY WORKIN' ON IT.

IF ONLY I COULD FIND
THE GUTS TO TELL YOU.

IF ONLY I WEREN'T SUCH A COWARD.
IF ONLY I HAD YOUR STRENGTH.

WE'LL TAKE IT AROUND
THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND
GET EVERYBODY TO SIGN.

WHAT IF YOU LOSE? WHAT IF
THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS TORN DOWN
AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE AWAY,

AND WE'RE SEPARATED, AND
WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN,

AND I NEVER, EVER SEIZE
THE CHANCE TO TELL YOU
HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU?

OH, ARNOLD,
HOW I LOVE YOU.

DAD!

HOW'S IT GOING,
MIRIAM?
OH, MOLASSES, IT'S YOU.

OKAY, GREAT, BUT WHERE
DOES THE STORE GO?

ALL RIGHT, RIGHT HERE.
BIG BOB'S BEEPER EMPORIUM.

BIG SIGN, CAN'T MISS IT
FROM THE FREEWAY,

AND THE OVERPASS DROPS YOU,
BING, BANG, BOOM,
RIGHT IN THE PARKIN' LOT.

THAT'S GOOD.
RIGHT IN THE STINKIN' LOT.

- IT'S HELGA, DAD.
- HELGA. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

- WE GOTTA SPLIT, BOB.
WE'LL TALK.

RIGHT. WE'LL TALK.
AND SEND ME THE PAPERWORK.
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STARTED.

- YOU GOT IT.

GREAT. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
IT'S OUR FUTURE.

SEE, HERE'S WHERE
MY NEW SUPER BEEPER
EMPORIUM IS GONNA GO UP,

RIGHT AFTER WE RIP DOWN
THE FLOWER SHOP AND GREEN MEATS
AND THE REST OF THE BLOCK.

ABOUT ALL THAT, DAD, A LOT OF
PEOPLE ARE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE
AWAY AND SELL THEIR BUSINESSES.

WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
- WELL, I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF THIS WHOLE...

TEAR-DOWN-THE-NEIGHBORHOOD,
FUTURE TECH THING
IS REALLY NECESSARY.

OF COURSE IT'S NECESSARY.
IT'S MORE THAN NECESSARY.
IT'S PROGRESS.

YOU CAN'T HAVE PROGRESS
WITHOUT A LITTLE PAIN.
NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH LEAVING
THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE?

I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH IT, MISSY.

LEAVE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE
AND BIG BOB'S SUPER BEEPER
EMPORIUM DOESN'T HAPPEN.

- BUT, DAD--
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONCE,
AND I WANT YOU TO HEAR IT,
LITTLE LADY.

CHANGE IS GOOD. WHEN THE NEW
BIG BOB'S SUPER BEEPER EMPORIUM
GOES UP,

THE CASH IS GONNA ROLL IN,
AND YOU'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT
THE OLD NEIGHBORHOOD.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE WE'LL BE RICH.

AND THAT MEANS YOU'LL BE
RICH. YOU CAN HAVE THAT PONY
YOU'VE BEEN WANTIN'.

DAD, I WANTED A PONY
WHEN I WAS FIVE.

- I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND,
'CAUSE ONCE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
GOES DOWN...

AND MY STORE GOES UP,
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT,
AND I MEAN ANYTHING.

- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

WE'RE GONNA BE STINKIN' RICH,
GIRL. RICH.

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT
THAN THAT, HUH?

[ Squealing, Meowing,
Barking ]

- THAT'S MY NAME.
DON'T WEAR IT OUT.

GRANDPA, I'M WORRIED.

OH, DON'T WORRY, ARNOLD.

WE WON'T SELL
THE BOARDING HOUSE.

WE'RE BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY.
RIGHT, POOKIE?

RAH, RAH, ZIS KOOM BAH!

HOME TEAM, HOME TEAM, WOO!

BUT, WHAT IF SCHECK GETS
EVERYONE ELSE TO SELL?

THEN I GUESS THEY'LL BULLDOZE
DOWN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
SHORT MAN.

POOKIE AND I WILL HAVE TO
MOVE TO AN OLD FOLKS' HOME,

AND WHO KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN
TO YOU.

YOU'LL PROBABLY BE SENT TO A
FOSTER HOME IN SOME MIDWESTERN
STATE, LIKE MANITOBA OR--

WAIT. NO, THAT'S NOT A STATE.

THAT'S A PROVINCE.
OH, NO, ARNOLD!
YOU'LL BE A CANADIAN!

- GRANDPA, I'M SERIOUS.
- I KNOW, ARNOLD, BUT
WE'RE NOT COOKED YET.

AND WHATEVER HAPPENS,
WE'LL ALL BE OKAY,

EVEN IF WE HAVE TO
BECOME CANADIANS.

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE
VERY GOOD BACON THERE.

CANADIAN. BACON.
IS THIS THING ON?
COME ON, ARNOLD. WORK WITH ME.

GOOD NIGHT, GRANDPA.

GOOD NIGHT, GRANDMA.
GO, TEAM!

AWESOME. WOW!

RELEASE.

- YOU MUST BE A SOUND
SLEEPER, ARNOLD.

- THEY'VE BEEN HAMMERING
ON IT ALL MORNING.
- LOOK!

WILLIKERS!
- IT'S SO WICKED AWESOME.

YOU GUYS,
IT'S NOT AWESOME.
IT'S TERRIBLE.

READ IT. WE'VE GOT 30 DAYS
LEFT TO SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

LOOK, IT'S THAT
SCHECK "FELLER."

IT'S TIME FOR A NEW WORLD.

OUT WITH THE OLD,
IN WITH THE NEW.

I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE,

AND IT'S FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES.

HE SURE GIVES ME
THE WILLIES.

BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT,
HE LOOKS GOOD IN A SUIT.

GERALD.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M JUST SAYING.

COME ON!

MONKEYMAN!

YEAH, SIX DAYS TO GO,
AND THEN SAYONARA,
SUCKERS!

SIX DAYS. ENOUGH TIME TO TRY
MAYBE ONE LAST BIG... THING.

BUT WHAT?
HOW ABOUT
A PARTY?

YOU ALWAYS THROW
THE MOST OUTRE PARTIES,
ARNOLD.

YEAH, A PARTY.
A BLOCK PARTY.

- WITH MUSIC AND FOOD.
- AND FINGER SANDWICHES. OOH!

- YEAH, AND FOOD!
- WE'LL HAVE A CONCERT.

THE MUSIC WILL BE SO LOUD
THAT WE'D END UP ON THE NEWS.

THEN PEOPLE WOULD GET
EXCITED ABOUT IT, AND THE MAYOR
WILL HAVE TO CHANGE HER MIND.

AND SHE'LL STOP
THE BULLDOZERS.
YEAH!

- HOW ABOUT THE SAVE THE
NEIGHBORHOOD DEBUTANTE BALL?

NAH.
- BLOCK POWER, BABY.

- BLOCKENANNY.
- BLOCK TILL YOU DROP.
OW!

IT'S A BLOCK THING.
Y'ALL WOULDN'T KNOW.

A BLOCK PARTY... PARTY?

HOW ABOUT BLOCKAPALOOZA?

YEAH!

- BLOCKAPALOOZA.
- THIS SATURDAY IS THE DAY.

BLOCKAPALOOZA!
DON'T FORGET TO GET YOUR
TICKETS WHILE THEY'RE HOT!

"SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD"?
"BLOCKAPALOOZA"?
THIS WE DON'T NEED.

YEAH, IT'S ME, NICK.
I THINK WE GOT A PROBLEM.

*

BLOCKAPALOOZA, HUH!
PLEASE.

IT'S CALLED BLOCKAPALOOZA,
A LAST-DITCH EFFORT TO SAVE...

A FORGOTTEN NEIGHBORHOOD
FROM THE WRECKING BALL.

A CLASSIC STORY OF THE
LITTLE GUY PITTED AGAINST
THE CORPORATE GIANT.

WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY DOING?
THEY'LL MESS UP THE WHOLE DEAL!

- FORGET ABOUT IT.
IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

IT'S OUR LAST CHANCE TO STAND UP
AND TELL FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES
THAT WE WON'T SELL.

- WE WON'T LET 'EM TEAR DOWN
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

ONE OF OUR GUYS INTERCEPTED
THEIR PERMIT, THEREBY MAKING
THE WHOLE ASSEMBLAGE ILLEGAL.

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.

THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

- THIS WHOLE ASSEMBLAGE
IS ILLEGAL.

BUT WE FILED A PERMIT.
WE NEVER GOT ANY PERMIT.

LEAVE THIS AREA AT ONCE.

- BRING ON YOUR WORST.

- WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED.
- COME ON, LADY. NICE AND EASY.

HEY, STOP!
THAT'S A FRAIL OLD LADY.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

NEVER GIVE UP, ARNOLD.
NEVER GIVE IN.

SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA.

PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT.
MIX IT ALL UP.

WELL, THAT'S IT.

THIS PLACE BELONGS
TO SCHECK NOW.

THEY'VE EVEN GOT
THE COPS ON THEIR SIDE.
I GIVE UP.

ME TOO.
I'M SELLING MY PLACE.

GOOD-BYE, OLD NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
SELLING? BUT--

OH, I GUESS I'LL GO TRY
AND GET YOUR GRANDMA
OUT OF JAIL, SHORT MAN.

- THEN WE BETTER GET PACKING.

GRANDPA, WE CAN'T GIVE UP.
IT'S NOT OVER.

OH! THAT SCHECK CHARACTER
HAS US COVERED...

FROM EVERY ANGLE, SHORT MAN.

WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU
ALL GOING?

COME BACK.
COME BACK.

OUT WITH THE OLD,
IN WITH THE NEW.

I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE.
CHANGE IS GOOD.

*

- ONLY TWO MORE DAYS NOW.
- I KNOW.

THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME WAY WE CAN STOP
THE BULLDOZERS.

LOOK, ARNOLD, WE TRIED.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.

WE JUST HAVE TO FACE IT.
IN TWO DAYS, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
IS COMING DOWN,

AND WE'RE ALL JUST GONNA
HAVE TO MOVE ON.

I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING.
BABY CARRIAGE, TEN O'CLOCK.

I SEE IT. ARNOLD,
SAVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD
ISN'T A GAME.

IT'S REAL LIFE,
AND IN REAL LIFE
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS WIN.

I MEAN, I CAN WIN
RUNAWAY BUS EVERY TIME
I PLAY IT,

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE
IT'S A GAME.

- I GUESS.
- YOU DID YOUR BEST, BUDDY.

- HEY, ARNOLD.

WE WERE JUST LOOKING AT
A PIECE OF HISTORY.

IT WAS FOUR YEARS AGO
STINKY AND ME MADE THESE
HANDPRINTS IN THE CEMENT.

- YEAH.
- SID AND STINK.

- IT ONLY SAYS STINK...

ON ACCOUNT OF JUST WHEN I WAS
FIXING TO WRITE THE "Y"
TO FINISH OFF MY NAME,

SID'S OLD MAN CAME MOSEYING
AROUND THE CORNER,
AND WE HAD TO HIGHTAIL IT.

- I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT
MADE IT EVEN COOLER.
- YEAH.

WE ALWAYS FIGURED
IT'D BE THERE FOREVER,

BUT AFTER THEY TEAR DOWN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD, I RECKON
NOBODY'LL EVEN REMEMBER.

YEAH.

- HI, MR. GREEN.
- LOOK, ARNOLD, THAT WAS ME,
FOUR YEARS OLD.

MY GRANDFATHER MADE THE MARK.
HE WAS SO PROUD OF ME.

HE USED TO TELL ME, "MARTY,
ONE DAY, GREEN MEATS
IS GONNA BE YOUR SHOP."

AND, SURE ENOUGH,
MY FATHER TOOK IT OVER,

AND THEN, WHEN HE RETIRED,
HE PASSED IT ON TO ME.

THAT WAS THE PROUDEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.

I ALWAYS KNEW ONE DAY
I'D PASS THE SHOP ON
TO MY OWN SON.

I GUESS NOW THAT'S NEVER
GONNA HAPPEN.

- BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA
TEAR DOWN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?
- NO. BECAUSE MY SON HATES MEAT.

HE'S ONE OF THOSE VEGETARIANS.

WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN YEARS.

STILL, I NEVER THOUGHT...

I'D BE THE LAST GREEN
TO RUN GREEN MEATS.

ANOTHER COUPLE OF DAYS,
IT'S ALL GONNA BE JUST
A PILE OF BRICKS.

EXCUSE ME, ARNOLD.

[ Squealing, Meowing,
Barking ]

- SHE'S STILL IN JAIL.

- BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST
GONNA KEEP HER FOR ONE NIGHT.
- SHE KEEPS TRYING TO ESCAPE.

THINKS IT'S A GAME. FOURTH TIME
THEY HAD TO PUT HER BACK.

HI, MR. HYUNH.
HAVE YOU SEEN GRANDPA?

OH, ARNOLD. WE MAY NEVER
SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

HEY, MR. HYUNH,
CAN I HELP YOU CLEAN OUT
YOUR "REFRIGETERATOR"?

- UH, PACKING YOUR STUFF,
SHORT MAN.

YOU HAVEN'T SOLD
THE HOUSE YET, HAVE YOU?

OH, IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
NOW, ARNOLD. EVERYONE ELSE
HAS SOLD.

SCHECK OWNS THE WHOLE BLOCK NOW,
EXCEPT FOR US. I HAVE TO SELL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.

ME NEITHER, SHORT MAN.
HECK, I WAS BORN IN THIS HOUSE.

MY DAD GOT IT IN THE 1890s,
OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.

WON IT IN A CARD GAME FROM
A MAN HIS DAD HAD FOUGHT
IN THE TOMATO INCIDENT.

- OH, YES, THE TOMATO INCIDENT.

NOW, THAT WAS A GOOD STORY.

THE YANKS WON TERRITORIAL RIGHTS
TO THIS LAND AFTER THE PIG WAR.

BUT, UNTIL THEN, WE STILL PAID
TAXES TO THE BRITISH CROWN...

ON ALL SORTS OF GOODS,
INCLUDING TOBACCO, MEATS,
AND VEGETABLES.

THE WHOLE TOWN WAS IN A SNIT
OVER A NEW TOMATO TAX.

THE BRITS WERE ADDING A NICKEL
ON EVERY TOMATO.

PEOPLE WERE UP IN ARMS,
SPOILING FOR A FIGHT.

WHAT HAPPENED?
THE TOMATO INCIDENT, ARNOLD.

MY GRANDPA AND HIS NEIGHBORS
TURNED OVER A CART FULL OF...

BRITISH TOMATOES
ON THIS VERY STREET.

SOLDIERS WERE SENT
TO ARREST HIM,

BY ORDER OF
THE COLONIAL GOVERNOR,

ARCHIBALD VON SCHECK.

- HMM, I WONDER IF HE'S
ANY RELATION.

ANYWAY, VON SCHECK'S MEN
ATTACKED THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

BUT THE LOCALS USED
GUERRILLA WARFARE.

THEY MADE A BARRICADE
OF UPTURNED VEGETABLE CARTS...

AND FOUGHT BACK
WITH WHATEVER THEY HAD.

AND THEY HAD A LOT OF TOMATOES.

THEY WERE BRITISH TOMATOES,
WHICH WERE SMALL AND HARD,

AND REALLY HURT
IF YOU GOT HIT WITH ONE.

LET 'ER RIP.

THAT DID IT.
THE REDCOATS WERE IN FULL,
IGNOMINIOUS RETREAT.

- AND THAT'S WHY WE EAT
AMERICAN TOMATOES, ARNOLD.

ALTHOUGH, I HAD ONE
THE OTHER DAY THAT CAME
FROM CHILE. VERY JUICY.

- GRANDPA,
DID THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?
- OF COURSE IT HAPPENED.

I SLICED IT UP AND
PUT IT IN A SANDWICH.

NO, DON'T YOU SEE?
THIS IS OUR ANSWER.

YES! YES, ARNOLD!
JUICY TOMATOES FROM CHILE.
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

NO, THE TOMATO INCIDENT. IF THAT
BATTLE TOOK PLACE RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE BOARDING HOUSE,

THIS WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD
SHOULD BE A NATIONAL LANDMARK.

WELL, THERE PROBABLY WAS
A DOCUMENT THAT DECLARED
THIS BLOCK A HISTORIC SITE ONCE.

THEN MAYBE I CAN FIND IT.
WE'VE STILL GOT TWO DAYS.

I CAN SHOW THE DOCUMENT
TO THE MAYOR, AND SHE'D STOP
THE BULLDOZERS.

THEY COULDN'T TEAR DOWN
THESE BUILDINGS... EVER!

AND MR. GREEN AND MRS. VITELLO
COULD KEEP THEIR SHOPS.

AND SID AND STINKY'S
HANDPRINTS WOULD ALWAYS
STAY IN THE SIDEWALK.

AND YOU AND GRANDMA AND ME
AND ALL THE BOARDERS COULD
KEEP LIVING JUST LIKE BEFORE.

NOTHING WOULD CHANGE.

GRANDPA, DON'T SELL
THE BOARDING HOUSE.

I'M GONNA TRACK DOWN
THAT DOCUMENT AND SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU'RE A BOLD KID, ARNOLD.
I'M WITH YOU ALL THE WAY.

BUT YOU BETTER HURRY BEFORE
THE BULLDOZERS KNOCK DOWN
THE WHOLE KIT AND CABOODLE.

CHANGE IS GOOD.
I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE,

AND THE FUTURE IS F.T.I.

SO, MY SUPER BEEPER EMPORIUM'S
GOING HERE, WHERE WE'RE KNOCKING
DOWN THESE OLD SHOPS, RIGHT?

- THAT'S RIGHT, BOB.

ABSOLUTELY.

- AND THERE'S NO FUNNY
BUSINESS IN IT, RIGHT?

IT'S ALL ON THE UP-AND-UP.
TRUST ME. ALL YOU GOTTA DO
IS SIGN.

BIG...

BOB...

PA... TAK... I!

BEAUTIFUL, BOB.
IT'S ALL SETTLED.

TWO DAYS FROM NOW,
MY BULLDOZERS ARE GONNA...

TEAR DOWN THE OLD AND
MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW.

AND THEN ALL WE GOTTA
DO IS SIT BACK...

AND WATCH THE MOOLA
ROLL IN. EH

- YOU'VE GOT A WAY
WITH WORDS, BOB.

OH, ARNOLD,
ANOTHER MORAL DILEMMA.

STICK WITH BIG BOB AND GET
RICH, OR DARE TO TRY TO FIND
SOME WAY TO HELP YOU,

MY BELOVED, NOBLE ARNOLD,
FOR WHOM SO I HAVE SO LONG
ADORED.

OH, IF ONLY I KNEW WHAT TO DO.

IF ONLY I HAD SOME KIND OF SIGN.

OH! PERFECT.

OKAY, ARNOLD,
YOU CONVINCED ME.

RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA FIND
THAT DOCUMENT, DELIVER IT
TO THE MAYOR,

PROVE THAT THE NEIGHBORHOOD
IS A LEGAL NATIONAL LANDMARK,

AND STOP THE BULLDOZERS
FROM KNOCKING IT DOWN.

RIGHT. AND WE'RE GONNA
DO IT ALL IN THE NEXT...

46 HOURS AND 19 MINUTES.

RIGHT.
SHOULD BE PLENTY
OF TIME.

OOF!

ARNOLD! I-- I MEAN, WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE GOING, FOOTBALL HEAD.
WHERE'S THE FIRE?

SORRY, HELGA.
WE'RE JUST IN A HURRY.

WE'VE GOTTA FIND
A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT THAT
CAN SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

YEAH, RIGHT! IF YOU THINK YOU'RE
GONNA SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

YOU'RE EVEN DOPIER
THAN I THOUGHT.

ALL THE PAPERS ARE
SIGNED. THE INK'S DRY.

AND IN TWO DAYS THE BULLDOZERS
ARE GONNA ROLL, AND THIS WHOLE
PLACE IS GONNA BE A PARKING LOT.

END OF STORY.
ANY QUESTIONS?

UH, YEAH.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
LEND US BUS FARE?

WE'RE A LITTLE SHORT, HELGA.

IT'S LIKE I'M LIVING
IN LOSER CITY.

OH, WELL, SINCE MY DAD'S
NEW SUPER BEEPER EMPORIUM
IS GONNA BE BUILT ON...

THE ASHES OF YOUR OLD LIVES,
AND I'M GONNA GET RICH OFF
THE WHOLE DEAL,

I GUESS THE LEAST I CAN DO
IS GIVE YOU CHANGE FOR THE BUS.

THANKS.
THANKS.

GOOD LUCK. YOU'RE GONNA
NEED IT, LOSERS.

THERE'S ONE THING YOU FORGOT
TO TELL ME. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TO THE ONE PERSON THAT CAN
HELP US FIND THAT DOCUMENT,
MR. BAILEY.

YOU MEAN THAT GUY AT THE
FEDERAL OFFICE OF INFORMATION?

RIGHT.
I KNOW HE CAN HELP US.

I CAN'T HELP YOU.
C-A-N, APOSTROPHE, "T."
"CAN'T."

BUT, MR. BAILEY,
THIS IS IMPORTANT.

I'M SURE IT IS, BUT SO IS
MY JOB. LOOK AT ALL THIS WORK
I GOT PILED UP.

I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO RUN A CHECK ON SOME...

TOMATO DOCUMENT THAT WAS
PROBABLY LOST 50 YEARS AGO.

NOW, PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT
IN HERE ANYWAY.

BUT, MR. BAILEY, IF WE DON'T
FIND THAT DOCUMENT, EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE TORN DOWN.

MR. GREEN'S BUTCHER SHOP,
MRS. VITELLO'S FLOWER SHOP.

THE VIDEO STORE,
THE ARCADE.

LOOK, HOW MANY WAYS
DO I GOTTA SAY IT?
I CAN'T HELP YOU.

- BOWLING ALLEY.
SLAUSEN'S ICE CREAM.
- PLEASE--

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE
MY PATIENCE WITH YOU.

DOLLY'S DONUTS.
DOLLY'S DONUTS?

YEAH. YOU KNOW,
THAT GREAT DONUT SHOP,

DOLLY'S DONUTS.

- OH, WE WERE JUST SAYING
WHAT A SHAME IT IS THAT...

THE BULLDOZERS ARE GONNA
TEAR DOWN DOLLY'S DONUTS.

YEAH. UH,
DOLLY'S DONUTS.

TWO DAYS FROM NOW,
THEY'RE HISTORY.

NO MORE DOLLY'S DONUTS,
MR. BAILEY.

BUT, I LOVE THOSE DONUTS.
NOBODY MAKES A CRULLER
LIKE DOLLY.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO DOLLY'S
EVERY DAY FOR 30 YEARS.

I DON'T THINK I COULD GET
THROUGH A MORNING WITHOUT 'EM.

HOW CAN THEY TEAR DOWN
AN INSTITUTION LIKE DOLLY'S?

THAT'S JUST... SAVAGE.

I KNOW. BUT, HEY,
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

RIGHT. UH, SEE YOU,
MR. BAILEY.

WAIT A MINUTE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR
NEIGHBORHOOD, DON'T YA?
WELL, COME ON, THEN.

WE'VE GOT A DOCUMENT
TO FIND.

THIS IS IT. AS SOON AS
THE COMPUTER STOPS,
IT'LL SPIT OUT A CARD,

WHICH WILL TELL US
EVERYTHING THE SYSTEM KNOWS
ABOUT WHERE...

YOUR TOMATO DOCUMENT IS.

"THE LOCATION OF
YOUR DOCUMENT IS...

UNKNOWN."

I'M SORRY, BOYS.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MR. BAILEY.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
YOU DID YOUR BEST.

WELL, WHAT ARE
WE GONNA DO NOW?

BOYS, IT'S PROBABLY
NOT WORTH MENTIONING,
BUT I KNOW A GUY.

THE CITY CORONER.
HE'S KIND OF, UH,

WELL, A NUT.

BUT HE'S A WELL-KNOWN
HISTORY BUFF,

AND HE KEEPS ALL KINDS
OF CRAZY RECORDS...

ON OLD
HISTORICAL PAPERS.

MAYBE HE COULD HELP YOU
FIND THAT DOCUMENT.

YOU KNOW, ARNOLD,
THEY LOOK LIKE
THEY'RE CLOSED.

LET'S COME BACK LATER.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME, GERALD.

COME ON.
Y-YOU FIRST.

HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO! I WAS JUST...
TAKING A NAP.

DID I SCARE YOU?

I SCARE MOST PEOPLE.
NOT INTENTIONALLY,
YOU UNDERSTAND.

JUST THE NATURE
OF THE JOB. ANYHOO!

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

THE TOMATO INCIDENT OF WHICH
YOU SPEAK DID INDEED HAPPEN.
IN FACT, IT WAS A MAJOR...

HISTORICAL TURNING POINT
IN THE BIRTH OF THE COUNTRY.

WHAT ABOUT THE DOCUMENT?

WELL!

THERE WAS, AS I RECALL,
A DOCUMENT, STATING THAT
YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD...

WAS OFFICIALLY DECLARED
A NATIONAL LANDMARK.

NOT AN ESPECIALLY WELL-KNOWN
DOCUMENT, BUT OFFICIAL
NONETHELESS.

AND I JUST MAY HAVE
A FILE ON IT.

I KEEP MY HISTORICAL
RECORDS IN HERE.

WHOOPS, WRONG DRAWER.

- AHA!

HERE WE GO.
TOMATO INCIDENT,

TOMATO INCIDENT,
TO-MAH-TO INCIDENT,
TOMATO, TO-MAH-TO, TOMATO.

TOMATO INCIDENT!
HERE IT IS.

ACCORDING TO MY RECORDS,
THERE WAS A DOCUMENT DETAILING
THE OFFICIAL STATUS OF...

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
AS A NATIONAL LANDMARK.

- LET'S SEE.

IT WAS CONTAINED
IN A COLLECTION OF
LOCAL HISTORICAL PAPERS,

WHICH WERE
SOLD AT AUCTION...

FIVE YEARS AGO
TO A PRIVATE CORPORATION.

THERE'S NO RECORD OF A NAME,
BUT THERE IS AN ADDRESS.

SIX, SIX, SIX,

ONE, THREE,
RIVERSIDE HIGHWAY.

IT'S OUT ON THE PENINSULA.

YOU'RE GOING OUT
TO THE PENINSULA,
RIGHT?

DON'T TALK TO
THE DRIVER WHILE
THE BUS IS IN MOTION.

BUT THE BUS
ISN'T IN MOTION.
NOW IT IS.

GET BEHIND
THE YELLOW LINE.

66590, 66600.
WE'RE CLOSE, GERALD.

FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES.

FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES?
THEY'VE GOT THE DOCUMENT?

OOH, OOH, OOH.
THE DOCUMENT THAT COULD SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD...

IS IN THE HANDS
OF FUTURE TECH?

NOW WHAT, ARNOLD?
I GUESS WE GO
AND TALK TO MR. SCHECK.

YOU CAN'T TALK TO MR. SCHECK.

BUT--
HE CAN'T BE SEEN
WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT.

-THEN WE'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.
-MR. SCHECK DOESN'T MAKE
APPOINTMENTS.

ALL RIGHTY, THEN,
YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.

RIGHT.
GOOD-BYE.

GERALD, THERE'S
CAMERAS EVERYWHERE.
AND I THINK THEY'RE WATCHING US.

MAN, THIS IS CREEPY.
LET'S GET AWAY FROM HERE.

SECURITY.
YES, MR. SCHECK?

THERE ARE TWO YOUNG BOYS
IN THE HALLWAY, 40 FEET
FROM YOUR SECURITY DESK.

WHAT? SIR, I, UH, UH--
APPREHEND THEM.

AND BRING THEM
TO MY OFFICE.

* LIFE IS JUST A BOWL
OF CHERRIES *

SIR, WE FOUND
THESE BOYS WANDERING
THE HALLS UNESCORTED.

UNESCORTED?
WITHOUT SECURITY CLEARANCE?
YES, SIR. THAT'S RIGHT SIR.

THIS IS SERIOUS, ISN'T IT?
YES, SIR.

WE CAN'T HAVE
YOUNG BOYS WANDERING...

THE HALLS OF
FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES
UNESCORTED...

WITHOUT SECURITY
CLEARANCE, NOW, CAN WE?

NO, SIR.
NO, SIR. NO, SIR.

AND THESE SMALL BOYS JUST SNUCK
PAST SECURITY AND WANDERED ABOUT
THE BUILDING UNESCORTED.

IS THAT ABOUT THE SIZE OF IT?
YES, SIR.

- "YES, SIR." WELL, NOW,
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?

- YOU'RE THE HEAD OF SECURITY,
AREN'T YOU?
- SIR, YES, SIR.

"SIR, SIR. YES, SIR. SIR."

IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?
NO, SIR. I MEAN, YES, SIR.

SIR!
THERE HE GOES AGAIN.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO NOW.

GO BACK TO YOUR DUTIES
AS HEAD OF SECURITY.

WHO KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER BOYS
ARE OUT THERE, WANDERING
THE HALLS...

OF FUTURE TECH INDUSTRIES
UNESCORTED WHILE YOU STAND HERE
LIKE A BIG, DUMB STIFF!

REPEATING, "SIR, YES, SIR, SIR."
YES, SIR.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT?
HE'S LIKE A WINDUP DOLL.

"YES, SIR. SIR, YES, SIR.
SIR, SIR."

I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S HARD
TO GET GOOD HELP NOWADAYS.

IT MUST BE UPSETTING TO BE
APPREHENDED AND DRAGGED,
UNCEREMONIOUSLY,

INTO MY OFFICE LIKE THIS,
BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOUNG BOYS
WANDERING THE HALLS...

OF MY COMPANY UNESCORTED,
YOU UNDERSTAND, HM?

MY NAME IS SCHECK.
AND WHO MIGHT YOU BE?

I'M ARNOLD, AND THIS
IS MY FRIEND, GERALD.

- WE LIVE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
YOU WANT TO TEAR DOWN.
- THAT I'M GOING TO TEAR DOWN.

WE HEARD THERE WAS A
GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT THAT SAYS
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD IS...

A NATIONAL LANDMARK AND CAN
NEVER BE TORN DOWN BY ANYBODY.

REALLY? I'VE HEARD ABOUT
THAT DOCUMENT TOO.

IN FACT, I HAD MY PEOPLE
LOOK INTO IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY FOUND?
THE DOCUMENT DOESN'T EXIST.

THE WHOLE THING'S
JUST A RUMOR, BOGUS.

I PROMISE YOU,
IF THERE WERE
SUCH A DOCUMENT,

I WOULD NEVER
GO THROUGH
WITH MY PLAN.

BUT THE DOCUMENT
MUST EXIST.

IT WAS PART OF
A COLLECTION OF
LOCAL HISTORICAL PAPERS.

LOOK, MY YOUNG FRIEND,
AS MUCH AS I ADMIRE
YOUR THOROUGHNESS...

AND DIRECT APPROACH,
THE FACT REMAINS:

I DON'T HAVE THE DOCUMENT.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE DOCUMENT.

SO THE NEIGHBORHOOD
IS COMING DOWN.
ANY QUESTIONS?

WHAT IF WE WERE TO TELL YOU
THAT WE DON'T BUY YOUR STORY?

HM. SECURITY.

THAT WENT WELL.
THAT SCHECK IS NOT
A GOOD MAN.

BUT HE'S A NATTY-DADDY
DRESSER.

YEAH, WHAT'S WRONG?

NICK, I JUST HAD AN
INTERESTING CONVERSATION
WITH TWO YOUNG BOYS.

ONE HAD A WEIRD
STACK OF HAIR,

AND THE OTHER WAS
A FOOTBALL-HEADED KID.

A FOOTBALL-HEADED KID, HUH.
HEY, BOB, YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT A FOOTBALL

NAH.
- I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
NO FOOTBALL-HEADED KID, BOSS.

ARE YOU SURE?

BECAUSE THERE WAS ONE NOSING
AROUND HERE JUST A FEW MINUTES
AGO, ASKING ABOUT THAT DOCUMENT.

YOU KNOW THE ONE
I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU MEAN THE DOCUMENT
THAT COULD MESS UP
OUR WHOLE OPERATION?

BUT IT'S LOCKED IN THE
RECORDS ROOM. NOBODY HAS A KEY
FOR IT, EXCEPT YOU AND ME.

I PROMISE YOU, MR. SCHECK,
I HAVEN'T SEEN A KID LIKE THAT.

BUT I WILL DEFINITELY
KEEP MY EYES OPEN.

I'M NOT READY TO GIVE UP YET.

ARNOLD, SOONER OR LATER,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
FACE THE FACTS.

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN
DO ABOUT SCHECK'S PLAN.
THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING.

ARNOLD, IT WOULD TAKE
SOME KIND OF MIRACLE.

HELLO?
THE DOCUMENT
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR EXISTS.

THEY'RE HIDING IT FROM YOU.
WHAT

- CALL ME DEEP VOICE.

I CAN'T GIVE YOU THAT
INFORMATION, BUT I CAN TELL YOU
THAT SCHECK IS UP TO NO GOOD.

THE ONLY THING
THAT CAN STOP HIM IS THE
DOCUMENT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE DOCUMENT?
LET'S JUST SAY... I KNOW.

WHERE IS THE DOCUMENT?
IT'S HIDDEN AT F.T.I.
IN A LOCKED SAFE DEPOSIT BOX.

- NICK VERMICELLI HAS THE KEY.
BUT HOW DO WE...

FOLLOW NICK, AND YOU'LL FIND
THE KEY. I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

BUT WAIT!
WHO ARE YOU?

THAT IS TOO FREAKY.
I'M SORRY I EVER
DOUBTED YOU.

I'M IN, MAN.
WHAT'S THE PLAN?

THE PLAN IS WE FIND
NICK VERMICELLI.

RIGHT.
THEN WE SPY ON HIM,

FOLLOWING HIM EVERYWHERE UNTIL
WE FIND OUT WHERE HE'S HIDING
THE KEY TO THE SAFE DEPOSIT BOX.

RIGHT.
THEN, WE STEAL THE KEY,
GO TO F.T.I., SNEAK IN AND...

GET THE DOCUMENT OUT OF
THE SAFE DEPOSIT BOX.

- RIGHT.
- WE EVADE THE SECURITY GUARDS,
AND IF WE MAKE IT THAT FAR,

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS HEAD
UPTOWN, FIND THE MAYOR,

AND DELIVER THE DOCUMENT
SO SHE CAN DECLARE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD...

A NATIONAL LANDMARK AND STOP
THE BULLDOZERS.

ARNOLD, THAT'S A LONG PLAN.

I KNOW. BUT WE GOTTA DO IT
IF WE'RE GONNA SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

AND WE'RE GONNA NEED
SOME SPECIAL EQUIPMENT.

THIS MAY SOUND KIND OF
CRAZY, BUT I'VE HEARD
OF THIS GIRL, BRIDGET,

WHO LIVES ACROSS TOWN,
KIND OF A, UH,

EQUIPMENT SPECIALIST.

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS
THE RIGHT PLACE?

IT'S THE ADDRESS
FUZZY SLIPPERY GAVE ME.
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'LL HELP US?

BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT BRIDGET DOES,
ARNOLD.

SHE HELPS PEOPLE.
I MEAN, THAT'S HOW
THE LEGEND GOES.

- MAYBE SHE'S NOT HOME.

- I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU SHOULD TOUCH THAT.

- WHOA!

OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU
TOUCHED MY BUTTON?

ME.
ME.

IF YOU'RE GONNA TRY AND SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD, YOU'RE GONNA
NEED SOME EQUIPMENT.

TOP OF THE LINE,
STATE OF THE ART.
MINI-CONDENSER AND MICROPHONE...

FOR THE ULTIMATE CONCEALED
SURVEILLANCE.

HEADPHONES AND MICRO-RADAR
TRACKING DISH.

FOUR-HUNDRED-TO-ONE ZOOM LENS
BINOCULARS WITH INFRARED
CAPABILITY FOR NIGHT VISION.

HIGH TENSION, PLASTIC WIRE,
ANODIZED STEEL PULLEYS
AND NYLON STRAPS...

FOR MANEUVERING IN
VERTICALLY-CHALLENGING
SITUATIONS.

A TWO-WAY SECURE WALKIE-TALKIE
FOR MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION.

AND A SYNCHRONIZED,
PROGRAMMABLE,

GLOW-IN-THE-DARK WATCH,
SET TO GREENWICH TIME.

AND ACCURATE WITHIN
1/10,000th OF A SECOND.

AND IT ALL FITS INTO THIS REALLY
COOL AS-47 JUNIOR SECRET AGENT
UTILITY BELT.

UH-HUH.
HOW MUCH DOES ALL THIS COST?

WELL, SINCE IT'S FOR SUCH A GOOD
CAUSE, IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

- I FIGURE IT'S MY CONTRIBUTION.
- GREAT. WE'LL TAKE TWO OF 'EM.

- DO THE BELTS COME IN
ANY OTHER COLORS?
- BLACK OR PINK.

- WE'LL TAKE BLACK.

- WHAT ARE WE GONNA NEED
A REMOTE CONTROL CAR FOR?
- YOU NEVER KNOW.

WHATEVER YOU SAY,
ARNOLD.

ALL RIGHT,
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
IS COUNTING ON YOU.

GOOD LUCK, BOYS.

GERALD?

HELGA?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WAS WALKING UNTIL
YOU KNOCKED ME DOWN,
FOOTBALL HEAD.

- SORRY, HELGA, WE WERE JUST--
- YEAH, YEAH. JUST OUT PLAYING
YOUR DUMB SECRET AGENT GAME.

AREN'T YOU BOTH A LITTLE OLD
FOR THAT? YEESH.

COME ON, ARNOLD.
WE GOT THINGS TO DO.

HA! WHAT, SOME NEW PLAN
TO SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
LET'S ROLL.

TRY TAKING OFF THOSE LAME SHADES
SO YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE
WALKING NEXT TIME.

GOOD LUCK, HARDY BOYS.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.

OH, MY BRAVE, LITTLE
FOOTBALL-HEADED HERO...

ON YET ANOTHER ABSURD QUEST.

THIS TIME, TO SAVE
THE ONLY HOME YOU'VE EVER KNOWN.

ARMED WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR
BEST FRIEND AND YOUR SPORTY
UTILITY BELT.

GODSPEED, MY STEED.
MY ONLY, MY LOVE.

THIS IS THE PLACE, GERALD.

- UH, MR. DRIVER,
COULD YOU OPEN THE DOOR?

- WE NEED TO GET OUT REALLY BAD.
- WE GOTTA FOLLOW THAT GUY.
HE'S GOT A KEY.

BUS STOPS AT
THE CORNER OF 43rd.

HEY! JUVENILE DELINQUENTS.

ARNOLD, WE'RE WAY UNDER 21.

MAYBE WE CAN GET IN
AROUND BACK.

* AIN'T THIS
A GREAT OLD PLOT *

* DON'T YOU WISH WE COULD
ROLL BACK THE CLOCK *

* OH, THE WINDOWS WE BUSTED
THE HUBCAPS WE STOLE *

- * THE APPLES WE BOOSTED
- BUT IT'S LOCKED IN
THE RECORDS ROOM.

* THE FUN THAT WE HAD
VIOLATIN' PAROLE *

* AIN'T THIS
A GREAT OLD PLOT, DOC *

GOT 'EM.
WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

SO, IS THE KEY SAFE?

'COURSE IT'S SAFE.
I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
WE WOULDN'T WANT IT
TO FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS.

A KEY. THEY'RE
TALKING ABOUT A KEY.

MAYBE IT'S THE KEY
DEEP VOICE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE KEY.

DID I DO THAT?

THIS THING ON?
SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOLKS.
HIT IT, TONY!

HEY! GET A BUSBOY OVER HERE.

CLEAN UP THIS MESS AND
GET US A COUPLE MORE DRINKS.

YO! BUSBOYS!
WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?

I SAID CLEAN UP THIS MESS
OR I'LL MAKE YOU WEAR IT!

LOOK. THE KEY.
IT'S AROUND HIS NECK.

AND GET US TWO MORE BARTLETTS,
PRONTO. NO ICE THIS TIME.

AND NO LIPSTICK.

WE'LL GET THOSE FOR YOU
RIGHT AWAY, SIR.
RIGHT... AWAY.

FOOTBALL-HEADED KID!

ALL RIGHT, YOU CLOWNS,
HERE'S THE DEAL.

THE BOYS ARE OFF
RISKING THEIR LIFE
WITH SOME CRAZY PLAN...

TO GET A RARE HISTORIC DOCUMENT
FROM THE HANDS OF THAT
SCHECK CHARACTER,

AND THEY DON'T
STAND A CHANCE.

WE'VE GOT TO THINK
OF A BACKUP SCHEME
THAT'LL BAIL US OUT...

WHEN THEIR CRAZY
LAMEBRAINED PLAN FIZZLES!

SO COME ON.
THINK OF A PLAN.

IT'S GOT TO BE SMART,
LOGICAL AND FEASIBLE.

MAYBE WE COULD
PAINT THE HOUSE
WITH VANISHING CREAM.

THEN IT WILL BE INVISIBLE.
THAT IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA
I EVER HEARD!

WHAT IF IT RAINS? DING DONG!
YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT,
KOKOSCHKA?

- IT'LL WASH THE VANISHING CREAM
OFF AND EVERYONE WILL SEE US.
- AH, POOH. YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT WE GOTTA DO IS BUILD
A DUMMY NEIGHBORHOOD
ONE BLOCK OVER.

THAT'LL PULL THE WOOL
OVER THEIR EYES.

YOU ARE THE DUMMY, ERNIE!
THAT WILL NEVER WORK!

OH, YEAH? I DON'T SEE YOU
COMING UP WITH ANYTHING,
MR. GENIUS!

WHY DON'T YOU DIG A LITTLE
DEEPER INTO THE CAVERNS
OF YOUR PUNY MIND, EGGHEAD!

DIGGING
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

THAT REMINDS ME.
THE SECRET TUNNELS!

WHAT SECRET TUNNELS?

MARONE!
PRETTY IMPRESSIVE, EH?

A NETWORK OF TUNNELS THAT
HONEYCOMB THE ENTIRE BLOCK...

AND POSSIBLY LEAD TO
THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I HATE IT!
IT'S DARK AND IT SMELL.

IT'S VERY CREEPY!
YEAH, LET'S GO BACK,
GRANDPA.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
LISTEN.

ONE OF THESE TUNNELS GOES
UNDER THE STREET FROM OUR HOUSE
TO THE ONE ACROSS FROM US.

IF WE WIRE IT
WITH EXPLOSIVES,

WE'LL BLOW A HOLE IN THE STREET
THAT THE BULLDOZERS CAN'T CROSS.

YEAH? JUST ONE LITTLE
DETAIL, GRAMPS.

WHERE YOU GONNA GET
THE EXPLOSIVES?

FROM YOU, OF COURSE.

JUST GO DOWN
TO YOUR JOB SITE...

AND LIFT A COUPLE HUNDRED
POUNDS OF EXPLOSIVES
WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKING.

HUH?
- THAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING
I EVER HEARD!

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING
I GOT TWICE THAT MUCH
STASHED UNDER MY BED.

WHAT? HEY, WE ALL GOT
OUR LITTLE PECCADILLOS.

FINALLY.
LET'S JUST HOPE
HE'S READY FOR BED.

HE SHOULD BE.
IT'S MIDNIGHT.

AS SOON AS HE'S ASLEEP,
WE CAN GET THE KEY OFF OF HIM.

AS SOON AS HE
FALLS ASLEEP, HUH?

WHAT IF HE KEEPS
WATCHING TV FOR HOURS?

MAYBE THERE'S
NOTHING GOOD ON.

- SOMEONE'S CALLING HIM.

- QUICK!
- OH, NO.

LAST TIME WE NEARLY
GOT KILLED USING THAT THING.

COME ON, GERALD.
WE GOTTA FIND OUT
WHO'S CALLING HIM.

- IT MIGHT BE A CLUE.
- AH, ALL RIGHT.

IT'S BIG BOB!

YES, YOU'RE A FULL PARTNER.
DIDN'T I GET THROUGH
TELLING YOU THAT?

WHAT ARE YOU CALLING ME FOR?
GO TO BED.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CONTRACT?
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH
THE CONTRACT, BOB?

OH, FOR HEAVEN--
QUIT READING THAT THING
AND GET SOME REST.

- STINKING PAIN IN THE--
- WHY, THAT NO GOOD LITTLE RUNT!

ALL RIGHT. "PARTY OF
THE FIRST PART AND THE PARTY
OF THE SECOND PART--"

YADA, YADA, YADA, YADA.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT THE HECK?

I THINK HE'S FINALLY ASLEEP,
GERALD. GERALD?

GERALD!
HEY, GIMME THAT KEY!

- I WAS JUST RESTING MY EYES.
- COME ON. IT'S TIME TO GO IN.

WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA
HANG FROM THAT, ARE YOU?

- NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO.
- I DON'T THINK IT'S MY SIZE.

NO PROBLEM. I'LL FIX IT.

COME ON. ALMOST THERE.
YOU CAN DO IT, BUDDY.

HEY, WHAT IS THAT?
WHO'S GOING--

AH, IT'S AN ANGEL.

HELLO?
GOOD JOB
GETTING THE KEY.

WAIT. DEEP VOICE,
WHERE ARE YOU?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

I'M WATCHING
ALL YOUR MOVEMENTS.
I'M EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE.

BUT MOSTLY
I'M EVERYWHERE.
COME ON, DEEP VOICE.

CUT WITH THE VOODOO DOLLY
MUMBO JUMBO, OKAY?

YEAH. WHY DO YOU HAVE
TO BE SO MYSTERIOUS?

YOU TWO SEEM CONFUSED
ABOUT WHO'S CALLING
THE SHOTS HERE.

I AM. WITHOUT ME, YOU'LL NEVER
GET THE DOCUMENT AND YOU'LL
NEVER SAVE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET
INTO SCHECK'S OFFICE.

HIS SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES ARE
IN A ROOM BEHIND HIS DESK.

- WE HAVE TO GET BACK
INTO HIS OFFICE?
- RIGHT, ONLY DON'T GET CAUGHT.

YOU'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY
TO DISTRACT SECURITY AWAY
FROM THE MAIN ENTRANCE.

NOW IT'S EXACTLY 2 A.M.

THE BULLDOZERS
ROLL AT 7:00.

WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?

MAN, THAT DEEP VOICE
IS A PAIN IN THE--

COME ON!

HI, IT'S US.
HOW YOU BEEN?

OH, SO IT'S THE TWO
JUVENILE DELINQUENTS
WHO BUSTED MY DOOR.

THINK YOU CAN MAKE UP
YOUR OWN RULES.

COME AND GO AS YOU PLEASE, HUH?
COUPLE OF RENAISSANCE MEN.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.
BUT WE'RE KINDA
IN A HURRY,

- MURRAY.
- DON'T TALK
TO THE DRIVER...

WHILE THE VEHICLE'S
IN MOTION.

STINKIN' BUS
IS FALLING APART.

I KNOW WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO TALK TO YOU WHILE
THE BUS IS IN MOTION,

BUT DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
DRIVE A LITTLE FASTER?

I DRIVE 25 MILES AN HOUR.

- NO EXCEPTIONS, NO DISCUSSION.
- I WONDER WHAT BEE
GOT HIS BOXERS?

HEY, YOU'D HAVE
A BEE UP YOUR BOXERS, TOO,
IF YOU WERE IN MY MOCCASINS.

MY GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME
TWO WEEKS AGO.

- HER NAME IS MONA.

SHE SAID SHE WANTED
A WHOLE MAN.

A WHOLE MAN?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I LOST THE REAL ONE
IN THE WAR.

SURE, SHE THOUGHT
IT WAS COOL AT FIRST.

AND THEN IN WALKS
JOHNNY-COME-LATELY,
AND I'M OUT THE DOGGIE DOOR.

YOU MEET A GIRL,
YOU THINK IT'S FOREVER,

AND THEN THE WHOLE THING
GOES KABLOOEY.

SHE BROKE MY HEART.
AND EVEN THOUGH
I STILL LOVE HER,

I MADE UP MY MIND
THAT FROM NOW ON...

I AIN'T GONNA CARE
ABOUT NOTHING...

OR STICK MY NECK OUT
FOR NOBODY.

I'M ONLY LOOKING OUT
FOR NUMBER ONE.
HEY!

WELL, THAT WAS
AN INSPIRING STORY.

ARNOLD, ARE YOU SURE
THERE ISN'T ANOTHER BUS
WE CAN TAKE TO F.T.I.?

THOSE CAMERAS
DETECT ANY MOTION.

IF WE EVEN MOVE,
THEY'RE GONNA SEE US.

ARNOLD, THIS IS NO TIME
TO BE PLAYING WITH
A TOY CAR.

I'M NOT PLAYING, GERALD.

- HMM.

WHAT WAS THAT?
COME ON, LET'S CHECK IT OUT.

WE CAN GET
TO SCHECK'S OFFICE
THIS WAY. COME ON.

DEEP VOICE SAID
TO LOOK IN THE ROOM
BEHIND HIS DESK.

WELL, WE BETTER
GET STARTED.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S
THE LAST OF IT, GRAMPS.

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO...

IS RUN THIS WIRE
UP TO THE STREET...

AND WAIT FOR
THE BULLDOZERS TO COME.

THEN WE BLOW A HUGE HOLE,
AND THEY FALL RIGHT IN.

SOUNDS GREAT, GRANDPA.
NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

YES! IT IS STILL
VERY CREEPY!

WAKE UP, YOU WEASEL!
I JUST READ THE FINE PRINT!

SO, IT'S GONNA BE SCHECK'S
BEEPER EMPORIUM, IS IT?

YOU'RE TRYING
TO DOUBLE-CROSS ME!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT, BOB.
I READ THE CONTRACT, PALLY!

I GET A NEW BEEPER EMPORIUM,

BUT SCHECK GETS
51% OF MY COMPANY!

OKAY, OKAY, SO IT'S TRUE,
BUT YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT.

- THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
THE INK'S DRY.
- YOU WERE IN ON IT!

YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA
SHAFT ME!

YEAH, SO WHAT IF I DID?
IT'S A FREE COUNTRY.

REALLY? WELL, THEN
IF IT'S A FREE COUNTRY,

I GUESS I'M FREE TO BEAT
THE LIVING SNOT OUT OF YOU!

- NOW, BOB, DON'T GET CRAZY.
- TOO LATE!

HUH? THE KEY.
WHAT HAPPENED? OH, NO.

THAT DREAM I HAD--
THAT ANGEL.

THAT WASN'T NO ANGEL.
IT WAS THAT
FOOTBALL-HEADED KID!

IT WAS REALLY HAPPENING!
HE MUST'VE STOLE
THE STINKIN' KEY!

YEAH, MR. SCHECK,
IT'S ME, NICK.

LISTEN, I GOT SOME BAD NEWS.
I THINK I LOST THE KEY.

YEAH, THE KEY.

I THINK THAT
FOOTBALL-HEADED KID TOOK IT.

I DON'T KNOW. I WAS ASLEEP.
I THINK HE SNUCK IN
AND STOLE IT.

YEAH, I KNOW.
I'M STUPID! STUPID!

997.

- UH-UH.
- 998.

- NOPE.

999.

EMPTY?
WHERE'S THE DOCUMENT?

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?
WELL, HERE YOU ARE BACK AGAIN...

AFTER I PATIENTLY EXPLAINED
THAT YOUR MISSION
IS COMPLETELY HOPELESS.

IT STILL IS,
THOUGH I'M LESS INCLINED
TO ENTERTAIN YOU...

AFTER YOU BROKE
INTO MY BUILDING
FOR THE SECOND TIME.

DID YOU THINK YOU COULD
GET AWAY WITH THIS?

THERE ARE CAMERAS EVERYWHERE.
I RECORD EVERYTHING THAT
GOES ON DAY AND NIGHT.

DID YOU THINK I'D LET YOU WIN,
LET YOU SAVE YOUR
LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD?

DON'T YOU REALIZE WHO I AM?
I AM ALPHONSE PERRIER
DE VON SCHECK!

I CAN TRACE MY ANCESTRY
BACK TO THE FOUNDING FATHERS!

DO YOU KNOW WHEN WE
LOST CONTROL OF THIS CITY?

WHEN THAT RIDICULOUS
TOMATO INCIDENT TOOK PLACE...

IN YOUR PATHETIC
LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

TEARING IT DOWN
AND PUTTING MY NAME UP
IN ITS PLACE...

WILL BE REVENGE
OF THE SWEETEST KIND.

BUT THE DOCUMENT.
WHERE'S THE DOCUMENT?

UNFORTUNATELY,
LIKE YOUR LITTLE PLAN,

IT'S ABOUT TO GO
UP IN SMOKE.

MY GUARDS WILL NOW
LOCK YOU AWAY...

WHERE YOU WON'T CAUSE
ANY MORE TROUBLE.

ARNOLD!

OW!

- NO, NO, NO! OHH!
- RUN!

OH, GET THEM
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

HE WENT THATAWAY!
COME ON!

- THERE THEY ARE! GET 'EM!

ARNOLD, I'LL LOSE THE GUYS
ON THE STAIRWAY.
YOU HEAD FOR THE GARAGE.

SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY OUT.
CALL ME ON THE WALKIE. GO!

HELLO.
ARNOLD, WHAT HAPPENED?

- NEVER MIND THAT.
WHERE'S THE DOCUMENT?

HE BURNED IT.
SCHECK BURNED IT.
BURNED IT?

YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.
HE LAUGHED AT US.
HE SAID WE NEVER HAD A CHANCE.

- HE'S GONNA WIN, DEEP VOICE.
- DON'T GIVE UP, ARNOLD.

IT'S OVER.
- IT'S NOT OVER.

- THERE MUST BE SOMETHING.
AREN'T THERE ANY OTHER COPIES?
- NO. HE WOULDN'T MAKE A COPY.

WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE WERE VIDEO CAMERAS
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

- YEAH.

THE VIDEO CAMERAS RECORD
EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON
IN SCHECK'S BUILDING.

ALL THE TIME.
SCHECK SAID SO HIMSELF.

THEN THE DOCUMENT
MUST BE ON VIDEOTAPE
THE MOMENT THAT HE BURNED IT.

ARNOLD, IF YOU CAN
GET TO THE ROOM WHERE
THE VIDEO RECORDERS ARE,

YOU CAN FIND THE TAPE
AND CATCH HIM IN THE ACT
OF BURNING THE DOCUMENT.

YEAH, AND THEN WE CAN
SHOW THE TAPE TO THE POLICE,

AND IT'LL BE AS GOOD
AS THE DOCUMENT ITSELF.

WE CAN WIN, DEEP VOICE.
WE CAN SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

IN HERE!

WHAT THE--

WARNING, INTRUDER, LEVEL FIVE.

WARNING, INTRUDER, LEVEL FIVE.

WARNING, INTRUDER, LEVEL FIVE.

- GERALD! GERALD, I GOT IT!
I THOUGHT HE BURNED IT.

HE DID, AND I GOT
THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEOTAPE.

WE CAN SHOW IT TO THE POLICE.
IT'S JUST AS GOOD.
MAYBE BETTER.

ARNOLD, I AM MOVED
BY YOUR GREATNESS.
YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE!

I'M GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
TILL THE GUARDS ARE GONE.

I'M ON THE STREET OUTSIDE.
I'LL GET US A CAB AND MEET YOU
IN FRONT IN TWO MINUTES.

WE'VE GOT 24 MINUTES
TO GET ACROSS TOWN
BEFORE THE BULLDOZERS ROLL.

WE CAN MAKE IT.
SEE YOU IN TWO, GERALD.

DON'T GO OUT IN THE HALL YET.
IT'S SWARMING WITH GUARDS.

WAIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW
I'M HERE

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
YOU'VE GOT THE EVIDENCE YOU NEED
TO SAVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

NOW WE'VE GOT TO GET YOU
SAFELY OUT OF THE BUILDING.
IF YOU'RE CAUGHT, ALL IS LOST.

DEEP VOICE, TELL ME HOW
I CAN GET OUTTA HERE.
OKAY, ARNOLD, LISTEN.

YOU'VE GOT TO WAIT UNTIL
THE GUARDS HAVE GONE TO
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING.

I HAVE A PLAN TO DISTRACT THEM,
BUT IT'LL ONLY BUY YOU
A FEW MINUTES.

THEY'RE COVERING
THE ELEVATORS
AND THE STAIRS, SO--

- DEEP VOICE!

DON'T COME ANOTHER STEP CLOSER!
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN
WITH THE VOICE BOX.

- UH, NO ONE IN PARTICULAR.

NO MORE GAMES, DEEP VOICE.
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING
UNTIL I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

HELGA
YOU'RE DEEP VOICE?

LOOKS LIKE IT.
- BUT I DON'T GET IT.

HOW COME YOU COULDN'T
JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU KNEW?

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP
ALL THIS CRAZY SECRET IDENTITY?

- NO REASON.
- BUT, HELGA, YOU JUST
RISKED EVERYTHING...

TO HELP ME SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
SO

THAT'S A PRETTY AMAZING THING
TO DO FOR SOMEONE
YOU CLAIM TO HATE.

YEAH, WELL I'M
A PRETTY AMAZING PERSON,
FOOTBALL HEAD.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE
ON YOUR DAD'S SIDE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA
GET RICH OFF THE WHOLE DEAL.

- MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

- I-IT'S MY CIVIC DUTY.
- HELGA.

- OH, COME ON!
WHAT'S THE REAL REASON?

OH, I DON'T KNOW, ARNOLDO.
I GUESS MAYBE I JUST TOOK PITY
ON YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS!

WELL, WHY?
'CAUSE--

'CAUSE I GUESS
MAYBE I DON'T HATE YOU
AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT, OKAY?

I GUESS MAYBE I EVEN
KIND OF LIKE YOU A LITTLE.

HECK, I GUESS
YOU MIGHT EVEN KINDA SAY
THAT I LIKE YOU A LOT.

YOU DO?
YOU DID THIS FOR ME?

THAT'S RIGHT, HAIR BOY!
I MEAN, CRIMINEY!

WHAT ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO DO WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE
IS IN TROUBLE!

LOVE?
YOU HEARD ME, PAL!
I LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU!

WHO ELSE DO YOU THINK
HAS BEEN STALKING YOU
NIGHT AND DAY,

BUILDING SHRINES TO YOU,
FILLING VOLUMES OF BOOKS
WITH POEMS ABOUT YOU?

I LOVE YOU, ARNOLD!
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU...

EVER SINCE I FIRST LAID EYES
ON YOUR STUPID FOOTBALL HEAD!

AND FROM THAT MOMENT
AND EVERY MOMENT SINCE,
I'VE LIVED AND BREATHED FOR YOU,

DREAMED OF THE MOMENT
I COULD FINALLY TELL YOU
MY SECRET FEELINGS...

AND COULD GRAB YOU
AND KISS YOU AND--

OH, COME HERE, YOU BIG LUG!

I'M CONFUSED. DID YOU
JUST SAY YOU LOVED ME?
WHAT, ARE YOU DEAF?

ARNOLD.
NOT NOW!

WHO THE--
- OH, ARNOLD, JUST HOLD ME.

I-I-I NEED TO THINK.

YES, I SUPPOSE YOU'LL HAVE
TO DO THE THINKING FOR
BOTH OF US NOW, DARLING.

WHOA. THIS IS ALL
HAPPENING TOO FAST.

I FEEL--
I FEEL DIZZY.
I NEED TO LIE DOWN.

WONDERFUL. I'LL GO WITH YOU.
NO! I MEAN THERE'S
NO TIME FOR THAT.

WE'VE GOT 20 MINUTES TO GET
BACK TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD
BEFORE THE BULLDOZERS ROLL.

- HELGA, THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WE HAVE TO SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
COME ON, LET'S ROLL.

- OH, NO.
- I COULDN'T FIND A CAB.
COME ON.

WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?
- NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, GERALD.

WE GOT EXACTLY 16 MINUTES
TO GET BACK TO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
AND STOP THE BULLDOZERS.

BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE.

NICK, THAT FOOTBALL-HEADED KID
AND HIS LITTLE PALS...

HAVE A COPY OF THE DOCUMENT
ON VIDEOTAPE,

AND THEY'RE HEADED UPTOWN
RIGHT NOW WITH IT
ON CITY BUS NUMBER 13.

GET 'EM!

DON'T WORRY, BOSS.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP.
THERE'S A BUS HEADED UPTOWN.

YOUR JOB IS TO STOP IT.

COULDN'T YOU GO
JUST A LITTLE FASTER?

I DRIVE
25 MILES AN HOUR.

NO EXCEPTIONS,
NO DISCUSSIONS.

- PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE AT STAKE.
- IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

BUT YOU SEE, THE THING IS,
MURRAY, WE'RE KIND OF
IN A HURRY.

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD'S ABOUT
TO BE TORN DOWN, AND WE HAVE
THE PROOF THAT CAN STOP THEM.

BUT WE HAVE TO GET THERE
IN... 14 MINUTES.

I'LL GET YOU THERE
WHEN I GET YOU THERE,

WHICH, ACCORDING TO MY SCHEDULE,
WILL BE IN ABOUT 44 MINUTES.

BUT THAT'LL BE TOO LATE.
WE HAVE TO GET THERE
IN 14 MINUTES.

THEN I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO SPROUT WINGS
AND FLY, CHESTER.

DON'T YOU WANNA SAVE
ALL THOSE PEOPLE'S HOMES?
NOT MY PROBLEM, KID.

DON'T YOU CARE
THAT EVERY BUILDING
FROM 33rd TO 39th STREET...

IS GOING TO BE
DEMOLISHED?
33rd TO 39th STREET?

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- HEY, THAT'S WHERE MONA LIVES.

HANG ON
TO YOUR GOODIES, KIDS.

WE GOT A NEIGHBORHOOD
TO SAVE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
WE CAN DO?

YEAH. YOU CAN GET DOWN
ON YOUR KNEES...

AND PRAY THIS
HUNK OF JUNK HOLDS
TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH...

TO GET US UPTOWN
IN ONE PIECE.

HEY, WHERE'S ARNOLD?

LOOK!

- IN POSITION, SIR.
- DO IT.

ROGER THAT.

I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE RELIGIOUS.
NEITHER DID I.

MURRAY!

HIS FAKE LEG'S STUCK.
I CAN'T BUDGE IT!

OH, PERFECT.
GERALD, YOU'LL HAVE TO DRIVE.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOU'RE THE TOP-SCORING
RUNAWAY BUS PLAYER AT
THE ARCADE. YOU CAN DO IT.

ARNOLD, THAT'S A GAME.
THIS IS REAL LIFE.

YOU CAN DO IT, GERALD.
I KNOW YOU CAN.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
HAVE TO DO THAT?

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE?

"WE CAN SAVE
THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
WE CAN FIND THE DOCUMENT!

YOU CAN DRIVE THE BUS!"
'CAUSE SOMEBODY HAS TO.

OH, MAN! GET ON THE FLOOR.
YOU TOO, HELGA.

WHY?
- BECAUSE I'M DRIVING
THE BUS, OKAY?

AND BECAUSE I'M
NINE YEARS OLD AND
I CAN'T REACH THE PEDALS.

DO IT! ARNOLD,
YOU WORK THE CLUTCH.

HELGA, YOU WORK THE BRAKES.

AND BOTH OF YOU TRY
TO GET MURRAY'S FAKE LEG
OFF THE STINKING GAS PEDAL!

OW!
OW!

BRAKE!

MY CANS!

CLUTCH! CLUTCH!

* YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
AND I'LL TAKE THE LOW ROAD *

WHAT THE HECK
ARE THOSE GUYS UP TO?

- YES.

- BLOW IT!
- JUST SO WE'RE STRAIGHT HERE,
BOSS, THIS IS PRETTY SERIOUS.

- YEAH, YOU KNOW,
AS IN 15 TO LIFE.

JUST DO IT,
YOU INCOMPETENT MORON!

- UH-OH.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S 7:00.
TIME TO TAKE IT ALL DOWN!

YEAH!
COME ON!

OH, WHY'D I EAT CHILI
FOR BREAKFAST?

EASY, GRAMPS,
DON'T BLOW YET.

OKAY, MEN, AS SOON AS I
PUSH DOWN THIS PLUNGER,

WE'LL COMMENCE OPERATION
STOP THE BULLDOZERS.

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

A 286-DX PLUNGER,
HIGH GAUGE WIRE,
C-47 TUBING.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
YOU'RE PLANNING TO BLOW
THE STREET UP,

MAKE A HOLE BIG ENOUGH
TO STOP THE BULLDOZERS...

FROM KNOCKING DOWN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU COULD DO SERIOUS
JAIL TIME FOR THAT.

- WELL, I, UH--

UH-OH.
WE CAN'T MAKE IT, ARNOLD!

- MAYBE WE CAN JUMP OUT.
- NO! NO, USE THE TRUCK!

- WE CAN JUMP THE HOLE!

ARNOLD, THAT'S
THE STUPIDEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD!

- LET'S DO IT!

- IT'S OKAY, MURRAY.
WE'RE JUMPING THE RAMP.
WHAT RAMP?

OOH, MAN!

WHAT SMELL SO RANK?
GET OUT!

AAH, MAN!

NOW WHAT?
GRANDMA!

WHAT ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA?
SHE'S IN JAIL.
SHE W IN JAIL.

YEA, GRANDMA!

YOU KNOW SHE'S GOING
BACK TO JAIL, ARNOLD.
I KNOW.

HANG ON!

I GOT IT!
I GOT THE TAPE!

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL,
ARNOLD

THE TAPE THAT'LL PROVE
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS
A NATIONAL HISTORIC LANDMARK...

- AND CAN NEVER BE DESTROYED.

ALL I NEED IS A V.C.R.
AND I CAN SHOW YOU
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU,
ARNOLD.
BRIDGET?

UP HERE.

WOW!

WHO DOES SHE THINK
SHE IS ANYWAY, CATWOMAN?

OH, MY WORD!
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.

AS YOUR MAYOR,
I RECLAIM THIS ENTIRE
NEIGHBORHOOD...

AS A NATIONAL HISTORIC LANDMARK,
NEVER TO BE TORN DOWN.

IT'S AFTER 7:00!

WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS
WAITING FOR?
KNOCK IT DOWN!

IT'S THAT LYING CROOK, SCHECK!
COME ON, LET'S GET THE CAR!

- I GOT THE HUBCAPS!

OHH! I WOULD'VE
GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT...

IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT
MEDDLING FOOTBALL HEAD,

THE KID WITH
THE WEIRD STACK OF HAIR...

AND THAT BRAT
WITH THE ONE EYEBROW!

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE,
YOU BIG DONUT HOLE!

- YEAH, TELL IT TO YOUR
CELL MATE IN FOLSOM!

- HEY, BOB, I'LL MAKE IT UP
TO YOU.

I'LL BUY YOU BREAKFAST.
WE CAN TALK.
THEY HAVE A SPECIAL--

WILLIKERS! WHAT A DAY!

FISTFIGHTS, CAR CHASES
AND POLITICAL INTRIGUE.

OH, AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT
THE OVERPASS BLOWING UP.

YEAH, AND IT'S ONLY
7:30 IN THE MORNING.

I WANNA GO BACK TO BED.
I'M EXHAUSTED!

NO!

CHANGE IS GOOD.
CHANGE IS GOOD.
CHANGE-- CHANGE--

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW.
I THOUGH WE SET
THE EXPLOSIVES...

MORE DOWN THE MIDDLE
OF THE STREET.

YOU DIDN'T SEE NOTHING.
SCATTER!

WHAT HAPPENED?
WE MADE IT!

MURRAY! MURRAY!
MONA?

YOU SAVED THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
YOU ARE MY HERO!

AND I AM SO SORRY
THAT I MADE FUN OF YOUR LEG.
I DON'T CARE.

- I LOVE YOU, BABY.
- I LOVE YOU TOO, MURRAY!

I LOVE YOU
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

PRETTY CRAZY DAY.
YEAH, WE SAID A LOT OF REALLY
NUTTY THINGS BACK THERE.

- YEAH.
- YEAH. WELL, UM,

ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF
I SAID, ARNOLD, I--

I MEAN, IT WAS CRAZY
BACK THERE AND--

YEAH, WITH ALL
THE EXCITEMENT, WE JUST--

- WE JUST KINDA--

YOU DIDN'T REALLY MEAN
ALL THAT, DID YOU?

- YOU DON'T REALLY
LOVE ME, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.

YOU WERE JUST CAUGHT UP
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT,
RIGHT?

- RIGHT.
- YOU ACTUALLY HATE ME,
DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE I HATE YOU,
YOU STUPID FOOTBALL HEAD!

AND DON'T YOU
EVER FORGET IT! EVER!
OKAY.

YES!
* LA LA LA

WELL, I GUESS WE DID IT,
ARNOLD.

WE SAVED THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

YUP. GUESS EVERYTHING'S
BACK TO NORMAL.

WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO SHOOT SOME HOOPS?

GERALD, OUR BALL'S FLAT,
REMEMBER?

NO, NO, NO.
JUST A LITTLE LOW ON AIR.
WAIT A MINUTE.

NOW YOU' LOOKING
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE?

- SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT.

* WE SAVED
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD *

* THEY COULD NOT
TEAR IT DOWN *

* THEY COULD NOT
TURN OUR SMILE *

* INTO A FROWN
*

SHOWS OVER, EUGENE.

- TWO WAY ME.
- HIT IT.

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* I WANNA ROCK RIGHT NOW
I'M LIL' ROMEO
AND I CAME TO GET DOWN *

* I'M NOT
INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN *

* BUT I'M KNOWN TO ROCK
THE MICROPHONE *

* CALL ME A PRETTY BOY
CROWN ME THE GREATEST
A NEW NO LIMIT *

* Y'ALL CAN'T FADE THIS
YOU KNOW I'M A WINNER
SURE NOT A LOSER *

* P MILLER CLOTHES
IS WHAT I CHOOSE *

* LADIES LOVE ME
GIRLS ADORE ME *

* I MEAN EVEN THE ONES
THAT NEVER SAW ME *

* LIKE THE WAY THAT I RHYME
AT A SHOW *

* THE REASON WHY, WHODIE
I DON'T KNOW *

- * OH, YEAH, YEAH
- * ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* GAME TIME, HAIR DONE UP
HANG TIME *

* ATTENTION, TWO WAY
ON THE WAISTLINE *

* YOUNG P, ROLE ON CRESS
AND NECK BELOW ZERO *

* I'M THE BEST TO COME
IN THE GAME, ASK CLEO *

* HOLLER BACK YOUNG'N
POP YOUR COLLAR *

* CALL ME RICHIE RICH
I GOT A DOG NAMED DOLLAR *

* CUSTOM PAINT
20s ON MY RIDE *

* BUT I KEEP IT LOCKED DOWN
'CAUSE I'M TOO YOUNG
TO DRIVE *

* I GOT BANKROLLS OF PESO

* SO MY LOVE WON'T
COST A THING LIKE J-LO *

* I'M A BALLER, MA
I DON'T PLAY WITH PLAY-DOH *

* YOU SEEN CRIBS
SO THAT'S HOW WE ROLL *

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* YOU GOT MAIL
GIVE IT TO THE HATERS *

* Y'ALL GET FAME
WE GET PAPER *

* ROME BE KOBE
I BE SHAQ *

* COME BACK GET
DOUBLE-PLATINUM
BACK TO BACK *

* GROWN FOLKS WATCHIN'
GIRLS BE JOCKIN' *

* OOH, WHEE
THE TANK AIN'T STOPPIN' *

* COME OFF THE BENCH AND WIN IT
THAT'S JUST IN ME *

* DROP THE TOP
NOTHIN' LESS THAN A BENTLEY *

* DON'T TWIST THE GAME
WE REVERSED IT BACK *

* ROME & SILKK
NOW HOW YOU LOVE THAT *

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE
A THING GO RIGHT *

* ROMEO, ROMEO

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* ROMEO, OH, ROMEO

* SIX FLAGS
I GOT THE DOLE-O *

* BIG ROUND PLATINUM TANKS
THAT BE THE LOGO *

* YOU KNOW YOU'LL GO
BOUNCE TO THIS *

* I'M 12 YEARS OLD
WITH 21 KARATS
AROUND THE WRIST *

* SO WHAT'S UP, DOC
THE PARTY DON'T STOP *

* THESE NO LIMIT BOYS GONNA
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT *

* WHERE THEM GIRLS AT

* WHERE THEM BOYS AT

* THROW 'EM UP, PUT 'EM UP
GET 'EM UP *

* WHERE THEM GIRLS AT

* WHERE THEM BOYS AT

* THROW 'EM UP, PUT 'EM UP
GET 'EM UP *

* IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT
OUT OF SIGHT *

* IT TAKES TWO
IT TAKES TWO *

* IT TAKES TWO
IT TAKES TWO, OKAY *

* IT TAKES TWO
IT TAKES TWO *

* IT TAKES TWO
IT TAKES TWO *