Herman (1990) - full transcript
"Herman", based on Lars Saabye Christensen's novel of the same name, tells the story of the young boy Herman who suddenly loses his hair and becomes bald at the age of eleven. He follows him through what is a very difficult period in his life, through big mood swings and irrational behaviour until he finally learns to accept himself for who he is.
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An angel just now
went through the room.
Don't worry yourself about them, Herman.
I mean the angels.
They're okay for the most part.
Who are the angels, Grandad?
The angels...
are the silence.
Do you see a difference?
Difference?
Have you sent your double?
No, I'm just me.
It's good to hear that.
You're you.
And nobody else.
Grandad is Grandad...
even if he's dead.
Why do you have a net on your hair?
Jacobsen doesn't like hair in the food.
No, okay. Exactly.
- Eva, did you order bananas from Mathisen?
- Yes, Jacobsen.
And pork chops from the butcher?
- You haven't forgotten the
pork chops, Eva? - No, Jacobsen.
See there?
Coffee inspector's on duty?
I wanted to say, I called the
Central Milk Depot and complained again.
- Please examine each bottle carefully...
- How many times must I say it...
You never listen to what I say!
It looks like a pigsty here.
And your shop windows are more
and more cluttered.
That you're not ashamed of yourself!
- Well, then!
- (Jacobsen's mother) Well... then!
- Yes, Mother?
- Come here!
Yuh.
- Be sure he takes enough off the back.
- Ay ay, Captain.
Okay then. How do you want it Herman?
Same as my brother.
How does your brother have his?
I don't have a brother.
Herman, Herman, Herman.
This is Norway...
You're listening to national radio,
broadcasting over short wave
to Norwegians abroad.
You are tuned to Radio Norway.
This signal and announcement...
is sent out over the
shortwave transmitter in Fredrikstad...
6 times daily-
12 noon, 2 PM, 5 PM,
12 midnight,
2 AM and 5 in the
morning Norwegian time.
Does it look okay like that, Herman?
Yeah, I think it's fine like that.
Uh... Herman?
Yes, Tjukke?
(nickname Tjukke = Fatso)
Am I now so fat, Herman?
Even fatter.
You're the fattest I know of till now.
Hey Herman?
Can you tell your mum
that I'd like to talk with her?
She's just got herself a pergamet.
The word is "permanent" Herman.
Can you remember that?
And tell that to your mum?
Sure, one's not forgetful.
Hi, my boy!
Hey! Her... Hermansen.
Boy.
Can you return some bottles for me today?
Sorry, I don't have time.
- Maybe tomorrow.
- Ah, tomorrow's another day.
Are you hungry?
Like a wolf.
Can you eat a whole eel alone?
At least!
I could even eat it raw.
One must wash himself properly, Herman,
if he wants to see what he eats.
- We don't want hair in the food.
- Exactly.
- Did you get into trouble today?
- Not as far as I know.
Nah...
I guess not, or
I'd have noticed.
Will you go up on the crane
one of these days?
Sure.
Maybe you'll see the whole way to America?
Or if not to America, then maybe...
maybe to Nakkholmen...
if the weather's good.
Okay.
Okay Herman? Come now.
- You can't catch me.
- Ha ha, you.
You don't have a chance,
young man.
May I borrow it?
You may have it.
It's yours.
What a neat hairdo you have!
Tjukke still has a steady hand.
Jacobsen Junior found a mouse...
in a milk bottle today.
You don't say!
- He must have been terrified.
- How did it get in?
In the end
I had to call the police.
Complaint against a mouse?
A mouse? Of all things!
Jacobsen calls the cops
if he loses a ballpoint pen.
Jacobsen does the best he can.
Oh yeah... what does he do?
Sells milk and counts his money?
I'd rather fall from my crane headfirst...
than stand around in an apron.
Yeah, you're tough, so that's obvious!
Right Herman?
Headfirst?
By the way, he's ordered a TV.
The foreman claims
it shows only fish.
Eels too?
Not likely to be
much about eels.
I wonder where the leftovers come from.
I can't remember eating this
either on Saturday or Sunday.
Maybe it's the eel which Dad caught.
Yes, that's it!
He'll soon ask if I'm sick because I'm
not eating as much as him.
Maybe I must just take my time.
Are you sick, Herman?
Or do you want to stop growing?
One ate already.
Already ate?
In Frogner Park.
Eating between meals makes you
grow in width instead of height.
Tjukke wants to talk with you.
With me? Why?
He didn't say, but maybe he wants
to check your perment...
Herman!
It's called "permanent"...
and you know why Tjukke's so fat?
He eats between meals... right?
You weren't kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding,
Tjukke wants to talk with you.
A...
da...
pa... zari
Adrapazari!
- Time to set sail, Herman?
- Ay ay, Captain!
How is it that people
take time? Take it where?
Maybe time simply passes by?
God must be quite a good swimmer.
Not to mention Jesus who
walked on water in his youth.
Watch where you're going...
little brat!
I'm no little brat.
I'm blind and lost my way.
Are you completely mad, boy?
Next stomach...
and farther on we have the reticulum.
And what excuse do you have today?
One was attacked by a fox.
Whom...
was attacked, did you say?
It was me!
And where did this fox show up?
It showed up behind the church.
Oh yeah, behind the church.
Mmm, a fox behind the church.
Maybe you can tell us how you
managed to fight off the beast?
It was already kind of dead.
It hung around the neck of Junior's mum
and was poisoned.
Junior's... eh... mum?
May I go to the bathroom?
Wait! Quiet!
Can you hold out a little?
I'll manage.
The bell will soon ring anyway.
Right, now!
Anton!
How many stomachs does
a cow have?
Ulrich!
Glenn!
Herman...
Look at this nice handmade
herbarium.
You're so smart, Herman?
Yeah...
What's in the note?
Note? What note?
The note from Ruby.
- I haven't got a note.
- Search him!
- Comb!
- Comb?
- And note!
- And note.
Do you...
like...
red hair?
Ruby!
Do you like red hair Herman?
Do you like red hair?
It's the worst thing I know.
Say Ruby is ugly.
You think Ruby is ugly.
You think Ruby is ugly.
YOU think so.
Ruby is ugly.
Karsten?
- The closet.
- The closet?
Herman, now you're dead!
Now I'm dead.
Your last wish!
To get my comb back.
Shall die, he shall die, he shall die!
Teacher's coming!
What happened?
For God's sake what happened!?
Herman!
Herman, do you hear me?
This is Fredrik Juell Johansen.
You hear me, Herman?
Fetch... nurse! Fetch the school nurse!
Herman?
Herman!
Don't try to move.
Help's on the way.
Just take it easy.
Herman...
Herman, how... how are you?
Yeah, thanks. Just fine.
We saw him... on the
floor crying.
Oh, hi Herman!
Is it Herman out and about?
I'll take the Denmark boat
to Australia...
or the night boat to World's End...
(located on Norwegian island of Hvasser)
in any case the Frogner tram to Disen.
Now my time has run out...
or in.
Did you lose something, boy?
How's the weather up there?
As long as it doesn't snow,
I'm happy.
Shall we buy lots of beer now, Panten?
(Panten = bottle deposit)
And a lettuce leaf.
One mustn't forget the lettuce.
That was good...
you reminded me of that... darn.
Is it true that you were one
of the king's janitors?
I was the king's gardener.
I was his Majesty's
personal grounds keeper.
Were you fired when
he discovered you're Swedish?
I was fired...
because I fell in love with
the Belgian princess.
I could have become king of Belgium.
King of Belgium!
Hello, it's me!
Hello Herman!
Hello Herman!
Yeah...
So I must greet you
from the king of Belgium.
The king of Belgium?
- Are you sick, Mum?
- Sick?
Why do you ask that?
- Did you talk with Tjukke?
- Oh, yes.
I talked with Tjukke... had a long chat
with Tjukke.
Hey, I spoke with the foreman today,
not that I'd really need to ask him,
but you may go up in the crane
with me one of these days.
What do you say to that?
That sounds good.
Then we'll go fishing for eel...
at Fred Olsen Wharf.
The best ones are right there
where the sewage flows in.
- I'm not sure Herman really wants to...
- I've got the gear ready, Herman.
I'd rather not strangle them.
We won't strangle them, Herman.
We'll use nails, six-inch.
- Right into the brain.
- Stop it!
Herman?
You don't need to go to school tomorrow.
We're taking a little trip
to the doctor.
Then you are sick, after all?
Doctor wants to take a peek at us.
Nothing serious.
We'll be alright, Mum.
Next patient, Fulkt.
Please come in.
No, I haven't.
Mmm? I'm busy here,
at the moment, with a patient.
He wants to examine me first.
Maybe it's contagious.
- Do I have lice?
- Of course not. How can you think that?
Bjørnar had them last year.
632 of them.
And now just a little pee sample.
Have you saved up?
We've saved long.
Are you about done, Herman?
Not yet!
Must use what we have.
Now it must be your turn.
You lied!
This isn't an injection, Herman.
You lie!
I just want to take a
little blood sample.
This... yes, this is going to go
so nicely!
Now just tense your muscle
so we find a little blood vessel,
yeah.
I'm going to faint.
You're doing just fine.
Have you noticed
hair loss previously?
Herman, come here.
It's fine standing here, thanks.
I mean HERE, Herman.
Here?
Why must I climb up there
when I've got feet, not wings.
Now you're going to climb up the rope...
until you hit the ceiling with that
tiny head of yours.
That simply isn't possible.
I didn't quite hear what you said,
Herman.
It's not possible.
It's not possible?
Ah, why isn't it possible?
It doesn't work anymore.
Doesn't work?
Are you a sissy, Herman?
Would you rather have gym with the girls?
Are there any girls here?
Do I see any girls?
Anna! Inger!
Elizabeth! Are there any
girls here?
- Let me borrow your comb!
- Comb? What comb?
The steel comb. Come on!
NO!
Okay, okay. I won't borrow it,
I'll have it for keeps!
Hey you,
you don't need a comb.
Cause you've hardly any hair!
I had a haircut the other day.
Then he goofed, cause
you've got a moon.
Herman has a moon!
Herman has a moon!
Herman has a moon!
Hurry up and clear out now!
Now I'll rain away...
into the sewage at Fred
Olsen's Wharf and disappear...
into an eel on
its way to Nakkholmen.
Or to Adapazari.
Are you going away?
Perhaps.
Where to?
Adapazari.
You skipped school. Tønne was pretty mad!
(Tønne= barrel)
Are you following me, or?
Why should I follow you?
Nah.
I came to see my duck.
Do you think red hair's ugly?
- Is it true you have a moon?
- No, and that's final!
Let's see!
Let go!
You've got a moon!
A moon!
Herman, has a moon!
Your daughter lies!
What did you say, my boy?
Your daughter lies.
Black!
Why are you so cross today, Herman?
I can't tell.
No? No.
Perhaps it's just as well.
Uh, Grandad?
I'm listening, my boy.
When did you lose your hair?
Well,
it was in Turkey...
during the world war.
I took part in that, you know.
We were in captivity,
in cells...
underground.
It was there I began to get high temples,
as they say.
Otherwise I was healthy as a fish.
It was worse for my buddy,
Waldemar.
Waldemar!
He was the captain of our battalion.
The Turks kept him in interrogation...
40 days and 40 nights,
but Waldemar's mouth was sealed
with 7 seals both in front and behind.
Finally they shot.
It didn't hit Waldemar.
He was blindfolded, you see.
They shot another at the same instant,
instead...
in order to scare him.
Waldemar was not one to scare easily.
When he got back to his cell,
he lost all his hair
in 15 seconds.
We took it...
and used it for a pillow.
Did he lose all his hair in 15 seconds?
Yeah, 15 seconds. He sure did.
We timed it.
But how long did it take you, Grandad?
Me?
It took me many years, Herman.
I haven't seen myself in
a mirror since 1949.
I should have mentioned...
your parents have been here.
They're looking for you, I think.
He's 10 years old...
and wearing yellow rain gear.
Where was he last seen?
Here he comes!
Here's the boy!
The boy lives!
There he is!
Won't you take off your rain hat, Herman?
You know, I think you misunderstood.
We didn't mean to trick you, you know?
We don't know anything for sure yet.
That's why the doctor did all the tests.
It's not serious,
but...
it can happen that you lose
a bit of your hair.
Can't you say something, Herman?
Are you mad at us?
What shall we do with all
your chestnuts, Herman?
Stuff them into snowballs this winter.
That's smart.
Who will you throw the snowballs at?
You two!
Nakkholmen!
- How's it going with Hannes?
- Oh, he's holding his own.
Yeah, he'll come in the summer.
- So long,
- Is it the last trip this season?
Dead and buried.
No. It sleeps.
Settled down for the winter.
When Grandma was alive...
and Grandad could walk,
we had a big party when
we closed up at summer's end.
Everyone came.
Grandad played the accordion.
Grandma danced.
I sang.
You know, we were so many...
that the last guests were still there
when we opened the house the next summer.
Maybe we should
set out a bottle of milk,
in case it wakes
in the middle of winter.
I think Zorro will manage.
It won't be fun waiting
a whole month.
Maybe Bernardo will
free him with magic.
You never know.
He has his tricks. We'll see.
How're things going, Herman?
- Not so good.
- No.
How about you, Dad?
Nah, I should have been a pilot.
Did you know that? Pilot.
- Pilot?
- Mmm, hm.
Do you know what I've in common
with a pilot?
No, actually not.
Depth vision.
Depth... vision?
Right, depth vision.
It's not everyone who has that, you know.
When I'm in the cabin looking down,
I must be able to see...
if one pillar is 3 cm higher
than the other. Right?
Otherwise, it will only be
crash, boom, bang.
Shall we go home, Herman?
Yes, let's.
Herman?
Did you hurt yourself?
(indistinct)
What in the world are you
doing in here?
Somebody took my scalp
in the night.
Fetch it.
You? One can hardly see it...
if you comb your hair like this.
I made a winter hat for you.
Will you try it?
Herman, you can at least try it!
It's even got a tassel!
Herman! You with the hat!
- Me?
- Yes you. Who else?
Go to your class immediately,
sleepyhead.
You're always the last one!
Yeah, yeah, the last shall be the first.
Hello. Headmaster Strand.
What have we here?
Herman has come!
And what hindrance did you meet today?
A crocodile,
or maybe a... a...
a zebra?
Are you cold, Herman?
No thanks.
Are you cold, I asked you!
No, thanks a million!
Could you be so sincerely kind
as to remove your hat?
Tønne is known for
dangling pupils from the...
window by holding them by
the left ear for 42 minutes,
but that was before the war.
I wonder what he actually did.
I didn't hear what you said, Herman.
I didn't say anything.
Herman Fulkt,
will you remove
that hat instantly?
No, and finally no!
What's the meaning of this?
Herman,
I am your teacher.
Do you mean to sit here and
refuse to do as I say?
If you hang me out the window,
my ear will rip off.
Well, as you can see,
there's a pupil...
in the class who won't...
Good morning Headmaster Strand.
Sit down!
Yuh, as I was about to say...
Herman!
Herman!!
Herman.
Herman! Uh...
Look here, wait a bit.
Herman!
Herman!
What're you doing here?
We don't have a lesson now.
You can't take your herbarium home now!
Yes I can!
You haven't finished it yet.
It will never be finished.
Why not?
Because one shall die meanwhile.
Baldy!
Baldy!
Baldy!
Baldy! (continuous chanting)
Glenn!!
We can't have this...
Come on! Come, you...
I only want to help, Herman.
You gossiped!
You gossiped to the headmaster!
And now everyone knows!
I peed in that cup.
This is a so-called club hair.
Oh, club hair?
Yes, club hair.
The presence of club hairs mean that...
the illness is, in a way,
progressing.
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Herman?
I want my club hair back again.
The cause of this is not
known for sure.
Some think that it's
partly hereditary.
Is there something
you're nervous about, Herman?
Something that especially disturbs you?
Something at school, for instance?
Something you've dreamed?
Something at home?
You must just say if there's something
that makes you nervous, Herman.
I'd rather not go
to the top of the crane.
You don't need to... if you don't want to.
I understand that.
I only thought you wanted to...
kind of.
Club hair found on Herman Fulkt's head.
After the war...
Waldemar left directly for Egypt.
Egypt?
There he found a little guy
who was called...
Tutankhamon.
He had been dead for 3000 years.
He was lying under a pyramid...
but otherwise was as healthy as a fish...
apart from being dead.
And would you know what
Tutankhamon...
had on his head?
What did he have on his head Grandad?
Yuh...
The very finest of wigs!
You mustn't tell this to a living soul!
Waldemar snatched that wig
and wore it the rest of his life.
But... what did
you do Grandad...
when you lost your hair?
I drank beer!
Did you drink beer?!
Yeah.
I read in a foreign magazine...
that beer...
is good for hair.
- Who is it?
- It's the boy.
Has the Christmas beer arrived yet?
Not yet.
You drink a lot of beer.
I'll soon beat the world record...
if I can get enough beer.
You have as much hair as
you have empty bottles.
Empty bottles...
I'm snow blind.
I can't go out in the winter at all.
I'll be glad to buy you beer!
Huh, remember to get a lettuce leaf.
Is that a good apparatus?
German?
- And for whom will this be?
- For Panten.
No! I'm talking to a customer.
No! Of course.
Hurry up! He's wants
to set a world record.
20 crowns?
You mean such a one...
Is it the largest apparatus you have?
He's going to set a world record!
Yeah, and not one more day.
World record?
Think of that.
- The animal must also live.
- He's called Tiden.
Who?
The animal.
Tiden?
Panten is not good company for you, Herman.
Keep away from him.
Keep away from my mum.
- What are you doing?
- I have a steak in the oven!
Your meal for today.
I'll have a drink.
Did King Haakon drink much beer?
No!
He drank seltzers.
And... and... ate a lot of ice cream.
Is that the Belgian princess?
Could be.
Could just be...
yeah...
for sure, that's the
Belgian princess.
Now I'll surely be sold to
a traveling circus and exhibited
along with the world's biggest dwarf...
and zebra without stripes.
I must first set a new world record.
Why do you have beer
on your hair, Herman?
- Where did you get it?
- Snitched it.
Did you snitch beer from Jacobsen?
From Panten.
Was it Panten who gave you the notion?
I mean...
to put beer on your hair?
- Did it help?
- No.
That can't help the least bit.
We'll have to let time help,
like the doctor said.
It hasn't helped Grandad yet.
Thinking of setting a world
record for the 10,000 meter Herman?
I wanted to say that I...
thought more about that with the crane.
Of course you don't need to go up with me.
There's nothing special about it.
It's a poor view up there too.
You can hardly
see as far as Nakkholmen...
if the weather's good.
It's not really much fun.
You climb up in the morning
and sit there alone...
the whole day up in the clouds,
and then climb down in the evening.
All alone.
The whole day.
Did you really dread it, Herman?
We'll agree then...
to not say more about it.
This is going well, Herman.
Nobody will see a difference.
Listen to that, Herman.
It will be just like before.
It won't be like before.
You know that... this is for
making your wig.
They need to know the color of your hair...
I don't suppose you'd like buffalo hair...
or goat hair?
No.
We use only the best European hair.
You're not going to recognize yourself.
You'll look better than ever before.
You won't even have to come
for a haircut anymore.
But in the meantime,
while you wait for the new European wig,
this here...
is... yours.
Huh, Herman!
Won't you try it?
- Direct from Korea!
- Herman?
Very practical!
Hi Herman, you're early today.
Yeah.
Are you allowed to stand here?
Before the bell goes?
I didn't ask.
That's smart, Herman.
Can't you unlock for me?
- I don't know if I'm allowed.
- Have you asked?
How do you know my name?
Isn't it Herman?
Does everyone talk about me?
Pappen told me your name.
All right then!
What's the name of this stomach?
Glenn!
- What's the name of this stomach here?
- Belly?
Wrong, you lazy dunce.
Bjornar!
Rummer.
Karsten! Did you hear what I asked?
- Yeah.
- What's it called then?
Udder!
Ruby! Come up here.
Come up here.
Go to the blackboard and write down
3 different cattle breeds. Come here.
That's right.
Dø... la...
fe. That's fine.
Good, good.
Sit still and pay attention!
And what have we here?
Red kolle.
(chanting) Red kolle!
And which breed of cattle lacks horns?
Red kolle.
Exactly. You can go sit now.
All right then...
And do you know the difference between
a sheep and... a goat?
Omasum...
Excuse me?
Reticulum and abomasum.
Red kolle, telemarksfe
dølafe and tronderfe.
Good, Herman. It's good.
From cows we get milk and leather.
From milk we make cream cheese,
cream and butter.
You've done your homework today.
What I wanted to say, Herman...
Can you see me now?
See you?
Of course I see you, Herman.
- I was...
- The SHEEP has a round body and thin legs.
Precisely.
A GOAT, on the other hand,
has a thin body
and a long beard.
And we slaughter both.
Yes, we do. You've read more than your
lesson. It should be like that, Herman.
What I wanted to say... yeah,
I have something for you.
Herman! Wait a bit!
Uh... Herman?
Is it real hair in the wig?
It's only a sample... from Egypt.
Egypt?
Yes... Egypt.
They found it under a pyramid.
Where are you going?
- To meet someone.
- Who?
A friend.
Uh... Herman?
Does it scratch?
Nay.
Where will you put that?
THE CHRISTMAS BEER has arrived
Halt!
Not another step!
Not a step!
I have Christmas beer with me.
Can't you see I'm busy?
The Belgian royal court's waiting!
We must have water! Sweep first!
Must mow the grass and water!
We have to pull... pull weeds!
Clear out the vermin! All the critters!
All the critters! Hush!
Crawling everywhere...
So!
No!
Snakes!
Get out, get away! Oh, oh!
Did you set a world record now?
What will they do with Panten?
They'll dry him out.
On a clothesline?
No, not exactly.
He drinks too much beer
and gets soft in the head.
Do you think they'll bury
his turtle now?
Most likely.
He probably just stepped on it.
Yes.
He didn't see it
so he happened to step on it.
It's always dark at Panten's.
Now that's a nice one!
I'm not as daft as I seem.
Merry Christmas, Tom!
Merry Christmas!
Take care!
Nice tree for the season.
With a few ornaments and a star
it will look nice!
Was it expensive?
Expensive? I would say we got
it cheap!
Did you buy it outside Frogner church?
Raggen's brother-in-law has
a bit of forest at Hadeland.
Did he sneak onto the
property and chop it down?
Can't you tell me where you
actually got that tree?
Nordmarka.
(Nordmarka: forest on outskirts of Oslo)
You know the area behind Sognsvann?
(Sognsvann: a lake)
Shame on you!
Grown men!
Do you know how much
Christmas trees cost this year?
No, you don't!
And the wig for Herman costs
1000 crowns, at least!
Yes!
- Merry Christmas folks! Taking a peek?
- Merry Christmas!
- Yeah?
- Your mother's on the phone.
I brought you a Christmas present.
It's not so special, but
I bought it myself.
Are you kidding me?
Are you sure you're not kidding me?
Have I told you about the
chap who lost his hair, Grandad?
Somebody I know...
in my class.
It fell out gradually.
It fell out by itself.
Are you listening Grandad?
That's good.
He hid his hair in his herbarium...
so he wouldn't lose it altogether.
Do you think that was smart,
Grandad?
He thought he might have
use for it one day.
His parents couldn't afford
to buy him a proper wig, you see.
How it turned out for him?
Don't really know.
Went round with a cap the
rest of his life... gained nothing by that.
Nonsense, you say?
I'm not fooling you, Grandad.
You knew it all along.
Isn't that right?
You just didn't say anything.
- Merry Christmas! Enter!
- Thanks.
Hi Herman!
Herman!
Hello...!
Herman!
Hello-o.
Make a sound!
I think that sherry
went straight to your brain.
- Her-man...
- Hello...
Herman?
Herman! What have you done now?
- Have you gone completely mad, boy?
- I'm beginning to get tired of this!
I can't take more of this!
Say something now! Talk to me!
Herman! This has gone too far! Now
for a bit of an explanation!
Grandad is dead!
No more fooling around!
What's going on here?
Grandad is dead!
Grandad is dead!
I've told you that we
don't joke about such things.
What did you say Herman?
Grandad is dead!
Herman?
They're not too big since
you're growing so fast.
You'll soon be setting
the 10,000 meter record!
In any case Norway's record.
Herman.
We forgot this.
It's from Grandad.
Merry Christmas, Herman.
You may go alone, Herman.
Somebody must go alone, you know.
One of the skaters didn't show up.
Can't divide 9 by 2.
4 1/2.
In the end it's ourselves we race against.
Remember that.
Then it's lucky for me that I'm
not very good.
Hi!
Who's your partner?
I thought you were playing the clarinet.
GOAL
I didn't know you're
good at skating.
Nor did I...
- Have you trained a lot?
- Yeah...
about 15 seconds!
Why aren't you at school?
I'm contagious!
Tønne told us we'd be thrown out
if we're not nice to you.
I can believe that.
To hell with it all!
Are you angry?
One is injured!
Where?
Think it's the knee.
Who's there!
Herman Fulkt!
You are who you are.
Yeah... there's no danger in revealing
to you that
I go under the name,
Zorro!
I don't squeal.
How's it actually going?
Well, time passes slowly and
meaninglessly...
while I wait for
the next episode.
Tornado stands in his stall.
I must admit I'm somewhat bored by
Bernardo's tricks.
I've known him many years, you know.
And Bernardo is a great guy.
I wouldn't manage without him.
I really meant the film.
How does it end?
There's a loose rock...
in the floor... of the cell.
I wedge it out with my sword.
Then I place it between
the walls...
so that they stop before I
get squeezed to death.
That was quite smart.
And what happens with the young lady?
I rescue her, of course.
I help everyone who's in need.
I know my duty.
It was nice meeting you, Herman,
but now I must leave.
Zorro!
What you said...
about helping everyone in need,
maybe,
maybe you can help me too?
Sorry Herman.
I can't really do that.
You'll have to manage by yourself.
It has arrived!
It came today.
To tell the truth, I couldn't wait.
I had to open it.
Guaranteed genuine hair direct
from Europe.
Thanks it must be.
Won't you try it on, Herman,
to see if it fits?
I have a steak in the oven.
Well now, if it isn't Herman.
What are you doing out here?
And what are you doing?
Nothing you'd dare, you sissy.
What are YOU doing, then?
Smashing windows, among other things.
Smashing windows?
I don't dare.
- Ring the doorbell!
- What shall I say?
She can't open the door.
That's the whole point!
Hurry up!
Ring once more!
Take it easy. Take it easy!
You'll soon be out!
This time you've gone too far.
Your wig won't save you.
Here's the rascal.
I'll report this in highest places!
It wasn't him.
It's not him?
I caught him red-handed!
Herman brings the newspaper.
Isn't that right, Herman?
Yeah.
If that's the case...
I see.
Did you see someone when you came?
I saw 2 people running up Oscar's Street.
Did you recognize them?
Just saw a little from behind.
Were they your age?
A little older, I think.
Could be... 30 years old.
Well, I'll go and look for them.
Why did you tie my door shut?
I didn't know it was
you who live here.
But the others knew it?
Were you a little unlucky?
Only on one leg.
Are you good at changing fuses?
Will you ask them to quit?
Then we'll not say more about it?
I'll do what I can.
You...
Would you like a chestnut?
Uh, now... what do we make out of wood?
Herman?
There's been a serious incident.
A window was smashed in our building,
and the culprit was seen.
I advise the guilty one to admit it
right away and cut short the agony.
Who did it?
It was me.
And me.
Me too.
Yes. This way.
Yes. What do we make
out of... of wood?
Herman?
You have a visitor.
Quite a nice room you have.
Who's that?
It's me...
and my grandad.
On safari in Adapazari along with Waldemar.
We drank beer and stole a wig.
But that's a secret.
Don't you skate anymore?
The season's finished.
You were really pretty good.
Was I?
You nearly beat me.
I forgot to wax my skates before
the race.
- And you were injured.
- Oh yes, for sure,
my left knee.
The left? I thought it was
the right.
Right, now that you mention
it, the right knee.
Have you lost all of your hair now?
Not all of it.
May I see?
- Why?
- I never saw it before.
Were you scared now?
Has Dad STILL not come home?
He'll come when he dares.
Well, what's this?
Do I really see a wig?
I'd gladly have one myself.
Maybe you can borrow it on a Saturday.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Shall I believe what
I think I'm seeing? Is it Herman?
Is it him out and about?
Hey overseer. Look who's here.
Hi, my boy!
Hi, Tom Fulkt.
- To what do I owe the honour?
- He just wanted to hear about the eel we took in 59.
I thought to ask if I might
go up in the crane with you.
- Yes, you may borrow my helmet.
- No, take mine.
- Raggen's head's too thick!
- Not on your life.
By the way, I'm wearing the wig.
The wig's handsome, Herman.
Don't look down!
We're soon at the top!
See over there, Herman,
where we ordered your wig?
Herman, is she very angry with me, or...?
Not very... sort of.
Maybe we should go home now, Dad?
How smart-looking you are!
You've come back again, Panten.
It's Göran Franzen here
and nobody else.
I'm home!
How good he looks... so smart!
You're pretty dry now?
Like a bird, Herman.
Like a bird.
I've been in the wind.
Did it hurt a lot?
It hurt a lot, Herman.
Very... if I may say so.
Looks like you've also
been in the wind.
I know it's... tough!
But you still have the world record?
Oh yes!
And no living soul can
take that from us!
How they play!
They're playing for us, Herman!
Herman!
Say cheese!
---
An angel just now
went through the room.
Don't worry yourself about them, Herman.
I mean the angels.
They're okay for the most part.
Who are the angels, Grandad?
The angels...
are the silence.
Do you see a difference?
Difference?
Have you sent your double?
No, I'm just me.
It's good to hear that.
You're you.
And nobody else.
Grandad is Grandad...
even if he's dead.
Why do you have a net on your hair?
Jacobsen doesn't like hair in the food.
No, okay. Exactly.
- Eva, did you order bananas from Mathisen?
- Yes, Jacobsen.
And pork chops from the butcher?
- You haven't forgotten the
pork chops, Eva? - No, Jacobsen.
See there?
Coffee inspector's on duty?
I wanted to say, I called the
Central Milk Depot and complained again.
- Please examine each bottle carefully...
- How many times must I say it...
You never listen to what I say!
It looks like a pigsty here.
And your shop windows are more
and more cluttered.
That you're not ashamed of yourself!
- Well, then!
- (Jacobsen's mother) Well... then!
- Yes, Mother?
- Come here!
Yuh.
- Be sure he takes enough off the back.
- Ay ay, Captain.
Okay then. How do you want it Herman?
Same as my brother.
How does your brother have his?
I don't have a brother.
Herman, Herman, Herman.
This is Norway...
You're listening to national radio,
broadcasting over short wave
to Norwegians abroad.
You are tuned to Radio Norway.
This signal and announcement...
is sent out over the
shortwave transmitter in Fredrikstad...
6 times daily-
12 noon, 2 PM, 5 PM,
12 midnight,
2 AM and 5 in the
morning Norwegian time.
Does it look okay like that, Herman?
Yeah, I think it's fine like that.
Uh... Herman?
Yes, Tjukke?
(nickname Tjukke = Fatso)
Am I now so fat, Herman?
Even fatter.
You're the fattest I know of till now.
Hey Herman?
Can you tell your mum
that I'd like to talk with her?
She's just got herself a pergamet.
The word is "permanent" Herman.
Can you remember that?
And tell that to your mum?
Sure, one's not forgetful.
Hi, my boy!
Hey! Her... Hermansen.
Boy.
Can you return some bottles for me today?
Sorry, I don't have time.
- Maybe tomorrow.
- Ah, tomorrow's another day.
Are you hungry?
Like a wolf.
Can you eat a whole eel alone?
At least!
I could even eat it raw.
One must wash himself properly, Herman,
if he wants to see what he eats.
- We don't want hair in the food.
- Exactly.
- Did you get into trouble today?
- Not as far as I know.
Nah...
I guess not, or
I'd have noticed.
Will you go up on the crane
one of these days?
Sure.
Maybe you'll see the whole way to America?
Or if not to America, then maybe...
maybe to Nakkholmen...
if the weather's good.
Okay.
Okay Herman? Come now.
- You can't catch me.
- Ha ha, you.
You don't have a chance,
young man.
May I borrow it?
You may have it.
It's yours.
What a neat hairdo you have!
Tjukke still has a steady hand.
Jacobsen Junior found a mouse...
in a milk bottle today.
You don't say!
- He must have been terrified.
- How did it get in?
In the end
I had to call the police.
Complaint against a mouse?
A mouse? Of all things!
Jacobsen calls the cops
if he loses a ballpoint pen.
Jacobsen does the best he can.
Oh yeah... what does he do?
Sells milk and counts his money?
I'd rather fall from my crane headfirst...
than stand around in an apron.
Yeah, you're tough, so that's obvious!
Right Herman?
Headfirst?
By the way, he's ordered a TV.
The foreman claims
it shows only fish.
Eels too?
Not likely to be
much about eels.
I wonder where the leftovers come from.
I can't remember eating this
either on Saturday or Sunday.
Maybe it's the eel which Dad caught.
Yes, that's it!
He'll soon ask if I'm sick because I'm
not eating as much as him.
Maybe I must just take my time.
Are you sick, Herman?
Or do you want to stop growing?
One ate already.
Already ate?
In Frogner Park.
Eating between meals makes you
grow in width instead of height.
Tjukke wants to talk with you.
With me? Why?
He didn't say, but maybe he wants
to check your perment...
Herman!
It's called "permanent"...
and you know why Tjukke's so fat?
He eats between meals... right?
You weren't kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding,
Tjukke wants to talk with you.
A...
da...
pa... zari
Adrapazari!
- Time to set sail, Herman?
- Ay ay, Captain!
How is it that people
take time? Take it where?
Maybe time simply passes by?
God must be quite a good swimmer.
Not to mention Jesus who
walked on water in his youth.
Watch where you're going...
little brat!
I'm no little brat.
I'm blind and lost my way.
Are you completely mad, boy?
Next stomach...
and farther on we have the reticulum.
And what excuse do you have today?
One was attacked by a fox.
Whom...
was attacked, did you say?
It was me!
And where did this fox show up?
It showed up behind the church.
Oh yeah, behind the church.
Mmm, a fox behind the church.
Maybe you can tell us how you
managed to fight off the beast?
It was already kind of dead.
It hung around the neck of Junior's mum
and was poisoned.
Junior's... eh... mum?
May I go to the bathroom?
Wait! Quiet!
Can you hold out a little?
I'll manage.
The bell will soon ring anyway.
Right, now!
Anton!
How many stomachs does
a cow have?
Ulrich!
Glenn!
Herman...
Look at this nice handmade
herbarium.
You're so smart, Herman?
Yeah...
What's in the note?
Note? What note?
The note from Ruby.
- I haven't got a note.
- Search him!
- Comb!
- Comb?
- And note!
- And note.
Do you...
like...
red hair?
Ruby!
Do you like red hair Herman?
Do you like red hair?
It's the worst thing I know.
Say Ruby is ugly.
You think Ruby is ugly.
You think Ruby is ugly.
YOU think so.
Ruby is ugly.
Karsten?
- The closet.
- The closet?
Herman, now you're dead!
Now I'm dead.
Your last wish!
To get my comb back.
Shall die, he shall die, he shall die!
Teacher's coming!
What happened?
For God's sake what happened!?
Herman!
Herman, do you hear me?
This is Fredrik Juell Johansen.
You hear me, Herman?
Fetch... nurse! Fetch the school nurse!
Herman?
Herman!
Don't try to move.
Help's on the way.
Just take it easy.
Herman...
Herman, how... how are you?
Yeah, thanks. Just fine.
We saw him... on the
floor crying.
Oh, hi Herman!
Is it Herman out and about?
I'll take the Denmark boat
to Australia...
or the night boat to World's End...
(located on Norwegian island of Hvasser)
in any case the Frogner tram to Disen.
Now my time has run out...
or in.
Did you lose something, boy?
How's the weather up there?
As long as it doesn't snow,
I'm happy.
Shall we buy lots of beer now, Panten?
(Panten = bottle deposit)
And a lettuce leaf.
One mustn't forget the lettuce.
That was good...
you reminded me of that... darn.
Is it true that you were one
of the king's janitors?
I was the king's gardener.
I was his Majesty's
personal grounds keeper.
Were you fired when
he discovered you're Swedish?
I was fired...
because I fell in love with
the Belgian princess.
I could have become king of Belgium.
King of Belgium!
Hello, it's me!
Hello Herman!
Hello Herman!
Yeah...
So I must greet you
from the king of Belgium.
The king of Belgium?
- Are you sick, Mum?
- Sick?
Why do you ask that?
- Did you talk with Tjukke?
- Oh, yes.
I talked with Tjukke... had a long chat
with Tjukke.
Hey, I spoke with the foreman today,
not that I'd really need to ask him,
but you may go up in the crane
with me one of these days.
What do you say to that?
That sounds good.
Then we'll go fishing for eel...
at Fred Olsen Wharf.
The best ones are right there
where the sewage flows in.
- I'm not sure Herman really wants to...
- I've got the gear ready, Herman.
I'd rather not strangle them.
We won't strangle them, Herman.
We'll use nails, six-inch.
- Right into the brain.
- Stop it!
Herman?
You don't need to go to school tomorrow.
We're taking a little trip
to the doctor.
Then you are sick, after all?
Doctor wants to take a peek at us.
Nothing serious.
We'll be alright, Mum.
Next patient, Fulkt.
Please come in.
No, I haven't.
Mmm? I'm busy here,
at the moment, with a patient.
He wants to examine me first.
Maybe it's contagious.
- Do I have lice?
- Of course not. How can you think that?
Bjørnar had them last year.
632 of them.
And now just a little pee sample.
Have you saved up?
We've saved long.
Are you about done, Herman?
Not yet!
Must use what we have.
Now it must be your turn.
You lied!
This isn't an injection, Herman.
You lie!
I just want to take a
little blood sample.
This... yes, this is going to go
so nicely!
Now just tense your muscle
so we find a little blood vessel,
yeah.
I'm going to faint.
You're doing just fine.
Have you noticed
hair loss previously?
Herman, come here.
It's fine standing here, thanks.
I mean HERE, Herman.
Here?
Why must I climb up there
when I've got feet, not wings.
Now you're going to climb up the rope...
until you hit the ceiling with that
tiny head of yours.
That simply isn't possible.
I didn't quite hear what you said,
Herman.
It's not possible.
It's not possible?
Ah, why isn't it possible?
It doesn't work anymore.
Doesn't work?
Are you a sissy, Herman?
Would you rather have gym with the girls?
Are there any girls here?
Do I see any girls?
Anna! Inger!
Elizabeth! Are there any
girls here?
- Let me borrow your comb!
- Comb? What comb?
The steel comb. Come on!
NO!
Okay, okay. I won't borrow it,
I'll have it for keeps!
Hey you,
you don't need a comb.
Cause you've hardly any hair!
I had a haircut the other day.
Then he goofed, cause
you've got a moon.
Herman has a moon!
Herman has a moon!
Herman has a moon!
Hurry up and clear out now!
Now I'll rain away...
into the sewage at Fred
Olsen's Wharf and disappear...
into an eel on
its way to Nakkholmen.
Or to Adapazari.
Are you going away?
Perhaps.
Where to?
Adapazari.
You skipped school. Tønne was pretty mad!
(Tønne= barrel)
Are you following me, or?
Why should I follow you?
Nah.
I came to see my duck.
Do you think red hair's ugly?
- Is it true you have a moon?
- No, and that's final!
Let's see!
Let go!
You've got a moon!
A moon!
Herman, has a moon!
Your daughter lies!
What did you say, my boy?
Your daughter lies.
Black!
Why are you so cross today, Herman?
I can't tell.
No? No.
Perhaps it's just as well.
Uh, Grandad?
I'm listening, my boy.
When did you lose your hair?
Well,
it was in Turkey...
during the world war.
I took part in that, you know.
We were in captivity,
in cells...
underground.
It was there I began to get high temples,
as they say.
Otherwise I was healthy as a fish.
It was worse for my buddy,
Waldemar.
Waldemar!
He was the captain of our battalion.
The Turks kept him in interrogation...
40 days and 40 nights,
but Waldemar's mouth was sealed
with 7 seals both in front and behind.
Finally they shot.
It didn't hit Waldemar.
He was blindfolded, you see.
They shot another at the same instant,
instead...
in order to scare him.
Waldemar was not one to scare easily.
When he got back to his cell,
he lost all his hair
in 15 seconds.
We took it...
and used it for a pillow.
Did he lose all his hair in 15 seconds?
Yeah, 15 seconds. He sure did.
We timed it.
But how long did it take you, Grandad?
Me?
It took me many years, Herman.
I haven't seen myself in
a mirror since 1949.
I should have mentioned...
your parents have been here.
They're looking for you, I think.
He's 10 years old...
and wearing yellow rain gear.
Where was he last seen?
Here he comes!
Here's the boy!
The boy lives!
There he is!
Won't you take off your rain hat, Herman?
You know, I think you misunderstood.
We didn't mean to trick you, you know?
We don't know anything for sure yet.
That's why the doctor did all the tests.
It's not serious,
but...
it can happen that you lose
a bit of your hair.
Can't you say something, Herman?
Are you mad at us?
What shall we do with all
your chestnuts, Herman?
Stuff them into snowballs this winter.
That's smart.
Who will you throw the snowballs at?
You two!
Nakkholmen!
- How's it going with Hannes?
- Oh, he's holding his own.
Yeah, he'll come in the summer.
- So long,
- Is it the last trip this season?
Dead and buried.
No. It sleeps.
Settled down for the winter.
When Grandma was alive...
and Grandad could walk,
we had a big party when
we closed up at summer's end.
Everyone came.
Grandad played the accordion.
Grandma danced.
I sang.
You know, we were so many...
that the last guests were still there
when we opened the house the next summer.
Maybe we should
set out a bottle of milk,
in case it wakes
in the middle of winter.
I think Zorro will manage.
It won't be fun waiting
a whole month.
Maybe Bernardo will
free him with magic.
You never know.
He has his tricks. We'll see.
How're things going, Herman?
- Not so good.
- No.
How about you, Dad?
Nah, I should have been a pilot.
Did you know that? Pilot.
- Pilot?
- Mmm, hm.
Do you know what I've in common
with a pilot?
No, actually not.
Depth vision.
Depth... vision?
Right, depth vision.
It's not everyone who has that, you know.
When I'm in the cabin looking down,
I must be able to see...
if one pillar is 3 cm higher
than the other. Right?
Otherwise, it will only be
crash, boom, bang.
Shall we go home, Herman?
Yes, let's.
Herman?
Did you hurt yourself?
(indistinct)
What in the world are you
doing in here?
Somebody took my scalp
in the night.
Fetch it.
You? One can hardly see it...
if you comb your hair like this.
I made a winter hat for you.
Will you try it?
Herman, you can at least try it!
It's even got a tassel!
Herman! You with the hat!
- Me?
- Yes you. Who else?
Go to your class immediately,
sleepyhead.
You're always the last one!
Yeah, yeah, the last shall be the first.
Hello. Headmaster Strand.
What have we here?
Herman has come!
And what hindrance did you meet today?
A crocodile,
or maybe a... a...
a zebra?
Are you cold, Herman?
No thanks.
Are you cold, I asked you!
No, thanks a million!
Could you be so sincerely kind
as to remove your hat?
Tønne is known for
dangling pupils from the...
window by holding them by
the left ear for 42 minutes,
but that was before the war.
I wonder what he actually did.
I didn't hear what you said, Herman.
I didn't say anything.
Herman Fulkt,
will you remove
that hat instantly?
No, and finally no!
What's the meaning of this?
Herman,
I am your teacher.
Do you mean to sit here and
refuse to do as I say?
If you hang me out the window,
my ear will rip off.
Well, as you can see,
there's a pupil...
in the class who won't...
Good morning Headmaster Strand.
Sit down!
Yuh, as I was about to say...
Herman!
Herman!!
Herman.
Herman! Uh...
Look here, wait a bit.
Herman!
Herman!
What're you doing here?
We don't have a lesson now.
You can't take your herbarium home now!
Yes I can!
You haven't finished it yet.
It will never be finished.
Why not?
Because one shall die meanwhile.
Baldy!
Baldy!
Baldy!
Baldy! (continuous chanting)
Glenn!!
We can't have this...
Come on! Come, you...
I only want to help, Herman.
You gossiped!
You gossiped to the headmaster!
And now everyone knows!
I peed in that cup.
This is a so-called club hair.
Oh, club hair?
Yes, club hair.
The presence of club hairs mean that...
the illness is, in a way,
progressing.
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Herman?
I want my club hair back again.
The cause of this is not
known for sure.
Some think that it's
partly hereditary.
Is there something
you're nervous about, Herman?
Something that especially disturbs you?
Something at school, for instance?
Something you've dreamed?
Something at home?
You must just say if there's something
that makes you nervous, Herman.
I'd rather not go
to the top of the crane.
You don't need to... if you don't want to.
I understand that.
I only thought you wanted to...
kind of.
Club hair found on Herman Fulkt's head.
After the war...
Waldemar left directly for Egypt.
Egypt?
There he found a little guy
who was called...
Tutankhamon.
He had been dead for 3000 years.
He was lying under a pyramid...
but otherwise was as healthy as a fish...
apart from being dead.
And would you know what
Tutankhamon...
had on his head?
What did he have on his head Grandad?
Yuh...
The very finest of wigs!
You mustn't tell this to a living soul!
Waldemar snatched that wig
and wore it the rest of his life.
But... what did
you do Grandad...
when you lost your hair?
I drank beer!
Did you drink beer?!
Yeah.
I read in a foreign magazine...
that beer...
is good for hair.
- Who is it?
- It's the boy.
Has the Christmas beer arrived yet?
Not yet.
You drink a lot of beer.
I'll soon beat the world record...
if I can get enough beer.
You have as much hair as
you have empty bottles.
Empty bottles...
I'm snow blind.
I can't go out in the winter at all.
I'll be glad to buy you beer!
Huh, remember to get a lettuce leaf.
Is that a good apparatus?
German?
- And for whom will this be?
- For Panten.
No! I'm talking to a customer.
No! Of course.
Hurry up! He's wants
to set a world record.
20 crowns?
You mean such a one...
Is it the largest apparatus you have?
He's going to set a world record!
Yeah, and not one more day.
World record?
Think of that.
- The animal must also live.
- He's called Tiden.
Who?
The animal.
Tiden?
Panten is not good company for you, Herman.
Keep away from him.
Keep away from my mum.
- What are you doing?
- I have a steak in the oven!
Your meal for today.
I'll have a drink.
Did King Haakon drink much beer?
No!
He drank seltzers.
And... and... ate a lot of ice cream.
Is that the Belgian princess?
Could be.
Could just be...
yeah...
for sure, that's the
Belgian princess.
Now I'll surely be sold to
a traveling circus and exhibited
along with the world's biggest dwarf...
and zebra without stripes.
I must first set a new world record.
Why do you have beer
on your hair, Herman?
- Where did you get it?
- Snitched it.
Did you snitch beer from Jacobsen?
From Panten.
Was it Panten who gave you the notion?
I mean...
to put beer on your hair?
- Did it help?
- No.
That can't help the least bit.
We'll have to let time help,
like the doctor said.
It hasn't helped Grandad yet.
Thinking of setting a world
record for the 10,000 meter Herman?
I wanted to say that I...
thought more about that with the crane.
Of course you don't need to go up with me.
There's nothing special about it.
It's a poor view up there too.
You can hardly
see as far as Nakkholmen...
if the weather's good.
It's not really much fun.
You climb up in the morning
and sit there alone...
the whole day up in the clouds,
and then climb down in the evening.
All alone.
The whole day.
Did you really dread it, Herman?
We'll agree then...
to not say more about it.
This is going well, Herman.
Nobody will see a difference.
Listen to that, Herman.
It will be just like before.
It won't be like before.
You know that... this is for
making your wig.
They need to know the color of your hair...
I don't suppose you'd like buffalo hair...
or goat hair?
No.
We use only the best European hair.
You're not going to recognize yourself.
You'll look better than ever before.
You won't even have to come
for a haircut anymore.
But in the meantime,
while you wait for the new European wig,
this here...
is... yours.
Huh, Herman!
Won't you try it?
- Direct from Korea!
- Herman?
Very practical!
Hi Herman, you're early today.
Yeah.
Are you allowed to stand here?
Before the bell goes?
I didn't ask.
That's smart, Herman.
Can't you unlock for me?
- I don't know if I'm allowed.
- Have you asked?
How do you know my name?
Isn't it Herman?
Does everyone talk about me?
Pappen told me your name.
All right then!
What's the name of this stomach?
Glenn!
- What's the name of this stomach here?
- Belly?
Wrong, you lazy dunce.
Bjornar!
Rummer.
Karsten! Did you hear what I asked?
- Yeah.
- What's it called then?
Udder!
Ruby! Come up here.
Come up here.
Go to the blackboard and write down
3 different cattle breeds. Come here.
That's right.
Dø... la...
fe. That's fine.
Good, good.
Sit still and pay attention!
And what have we here?
Red kolle.
(chanting) Red kolle!
And which breed of cattle lacks horns?
Red kolle.
Exactly. You can go sit now.
All right then...
And do you know the difference between
a sheep and... a goat?
Omasum...
Excuse me?
Reticulum and abomasum.
Red kolle, telemarksfe
dølafe and tronderfe.
Good, Herman. It's good.
From cows we get milk and leather.
From milk we make cream cheese,
cream and butter.
You've done your homework today.
What I wanted to say, Herman...
Can you see me now?
See you?
Of course I see you, Herman.
- I was...
- The SHEEP has a round body and thin legs.
Precisely.
A GOAT, on the other hand,
has a thin body
and a long beard.
And we slaughter both.
Yes, we do. You've read more than your
lesson. It should be like that, Herman.
What I wanted to say... yeah,
I have something for you.
Herman! Wait a bit!
Uh... Herman?
Is it real hair in the wig?
It's only a sample... from Egypt.
Egypt?
Yes... Egypt.
They found it under a pyramid.
Where are you going?
- To meet someone.
- Who?
A friend.
Uh... Herman?
Does it scratch?
Nay.
Where will you put that?
THE CHRISTMAS BEER has arrived
Halt!
Not another step!
Not a step!
I have Christmas beer with me.
Can't you see I'm busy?
The Belgian royal court's waiting!
We must have water! Sweep first!
Must mow the grass and water!
We have to pull... pull weeds!
Clear out the vermin! All the critters!
All the critters! Hush!
Crawling everywhere...
So!
No!
Snakes!
Get out, get away! Oh, oh!
Did you set a world record now?
What will they do with Panten?
They'll dry him out.
On a clothesline?
No, not exactly.
He drinks too much beer
and gets soft in the head.
Do you think they'll bury
his turtle now?
Most likely.
He probably just stepped on it.
Yes.
He didn't see it
so he happened to step on it.
It's always dark at Panten's.
Now that's a nice one!
I'm not as daft as I seem.
Merry Christmas, Tom!
Merry Christmas!
Take care!
Nice tree for the season.
With a few ornaments and a star
it will look nice!
Was it expensive?
Expensive? I would say we got
it cheap!
Did you buy it outside Frogner church?
Raggen's brother-in-law has
a bit of forest at Hadeland.
Did he sneak onto the
property and chop it down?
Can't you tell me where you
actually got that tree?
Nordmarka.
(Nordmarka: forest on outskirts of Oslo)
You know the area behind Sognsvann?
(Sognsvann: a lake)
Shame on you!
Grown men!
Do you know how much
Christmas trees cost this year?
No, you don't!
And the wig for Herman costs
1000 crowns, at least!
Yes!
- Merry Christmas folks! Taking a peek?
- Merry Christmas!
- Yeah?
- Your mother's on the phone.
I brought you a Christmas present.
It's not so special, but
I bought it myself.
Are you kidding me?
Are you sure you're not kidding me?
Have I told you about the
chap who lost his hair, Grandad?
Somebody I know...
in my class.
It fell out gradually.
It fell out by itself.
Are you listening Grandad?
That's good.
He hid his hair in his herbarium...
so he wouldn't lose it altogether.
Do you think that was smart,
Grandad?
He thought he might have
use for it one day.
His parents couldn't afford
to buy him a proper wig, you see.
How it turned out for him?
Don't really know.
Went round with a cap the
rest of his life... gained nothing by that.
Nonsense, you say?
I'm not fooling you, Grandad.
You knew it all along.
Isn't that right?
You just didn't say anything.
- Merry Christmas! Enter!
- Thanks.
Hi Herman!
Herman!
Hello...!
Herman!
Hello-o.
Make a sound!
I think that sherry
went straight to your brain.
- Her-man...
- Hello...
Herman?
Herman! What have you done now?
- Have you gone completely mad, boy?
- I'm beginning to get tired of this!
I can't take more of this!
Say something now! Talk to me!
Herman! This has gone too far! Now
for a bit of an explanation!
Grandad is dead!
No more fooling around!
What's going on here?
Grandad is dead!
Grandad is dead!
I've told you that we
don't joke about such things.
What did you say Herman?
Grandad is dead!
Herman?
They're not too big since
you're growing so fast.
You'll soon be setting
the 10,000 meter record!
In any case Norway's record.
Herman.
We forgot this.
It's from Grandad.
Merry Christmas, Herman.
You may go alone, Herman.
Somebody must go alone, you know.
One of the skaters didn't show up.
Can't divide 9 by 2.
4 1/2.
In the end it's ourselves we race against.
Remember that.
Then it's lucky for me that I'm
not very good.
Hi!
Who's your partner?
I thought you were playing the clarinet.
GOAL
I didn't know you're
good at skating.
Nor did I...
- Have you trained a lot?
- Yeah...
about 15 seconds!
Why aren't you at school?
I'm contagious!
Tønne told us we'd be thrown out
if we're not nice to you.
I can believe that.
To hell with it all!
Are you angry?
One is injured!
Where?
Think it's the knee.
Who's there!
Herman Fulkt!
You are who you are.
Yeah... there's no danger in revealing
to you that
I go under the name,
Zorro!
I don't squeal.
How's it actually going?
Well, time passes slowly and
meaninglessly...
while I wait for
the next episode.
Tornado stands in his stall.
I must admit I'm somewhat bored by
Bernardo's tricks.
I've known him many years, you know.
And Bernardo is a great guy.
I wouldn't manage without him.
I really meant the film.
How does it end?
There's a loose rock...
in the floor... of the cell.
I wedge it out with my sword.
Then I place it between
the walls...
so that they stop before I
get squeezed to death.
That was quite smart.
And what happens with the young lady?
I rescue her, of course.
I help everyone who's in need.
I know my duty.
It was nice meeting you, Herman,
but now I must leave.
Zorro!
What you said...
about helping everyone in need,
maybe,
maybe you can help me too?
Sorry Herman.
I can't really do that.
You'll have to manage by yourself.
It has arrived!
It came today.
To tell the truth, I couldn't wait.
I had to open it.
Guaranteed genuine hair direct
from Europe.
Thanks it must be.
Won't you try it on, Herman,
to see if it fits?
I have a steak in the oven.
Well now, if it isn't Herman.
What are you doing out here?
And what are you doing?
Nothing you'd dare, you sissy.
What are YOU doing, then?
Smashing windows, among other things.
Smashing windows?
I don't dare.
- Ring the doorbell!
- What shall I say?
She can't open the door.
That's the whole point!
Hurry up!
Ring once more!
Take it easy. Take it easy!
You'll soon be out!
This time you've gone too far.
Your wig won't save you.
Here's the rascal.
I'll report this in highest places!
It wasn't him.
It's not him?
I caught him red-handed!
Herman brings the newspaper.
Isn't that right, Herman?
Yeah.
If that's the case...
I see.
Did you see someone when you came?
I saw 2 people running up Oscar's Street.
Did you recognize them?
Just saw a little from behind.
Were they your age?
A little older, I think.
Could be... 30 years old.
Well, I'll go and look for them.
Why did you tie my door shut?
I didn't know it was
you who live here.
But the others knew it?
Were you a little unlucky?
Only on one leg.
Are you good at changing fuses?
Will you ask them to quit?
Then we'll not say more about it?
I'll do what I can.
You...
Would you like a chestnut?
Uh, now... what do we make out of wood?
Herman?
There's been a serious incident.
A window was smashed in our building,
and the culprit was seen.
I advise the guilty one to admit it
right away and cut short the agony.
Who did it?
It was me.
And me.
Me too.
Yes. This way.
Yes. What do we make
out of... of wood?
Herman?
You have a visitor.
Quite a nice room you have.
Who's that?
It's me...
and my grandad.
On safari in Adapazari along with Waldemar.
We drank beer and stole a wig.
But that's a secret.
Don't you skate anymore?
The season's finished.
You were really pretty good.
Was I?
You nearly beat me.
I forgot to wax my skates before
the race.
- And you were injured.
- Oh yes, for sure,
my left knee.
The left? I thought it was
the right.
Right, now that you mention
it, the right knee.
Have you lost all of your hair now?
Not all of it.
May I see?
- Why?
- I never saw it before.
Were you scared now?
Has Dad STILL not come home?
He'll come when he dares.
Well, what's this?
Do I really see a wig?
I'd gladly have one myself.
Maybe you can borrow it on a Saturday.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Shall I believe what
I think I'm seeing? Is it Herman?
Is it him out and about?
Hey overseer. Look who's here.
Hi, my boy!
Hi, Tom Fulkt.
- To what do I owe the honour?
- He just wanted to hear about the eel we took in 59.
I thought to ask if I might
go up in the crane with you.
- Yes, you may borrow my helmet.
- No, take mine.
- Raggen's head's too thick!
- Not on your life.
By the way, I'm wearing the wig.
The wig's handsome, Herman.
Don't look down!
We're soon at the top!
See over there, Herman,
where we ordered your wig?
Herman, is she very angry with me, or...?
Not very... sort of.
Maybe we should go home now, Dad?
How smart-looking you are!
You've come back again, Panten.
It's Göran Franzen here
and nobody else.
I'm home!
How good he looks... so smart!
You're pretty dry now?
Like a bird, Herman.
Like a bird.
I've been in the wind.
Did it hurt a lot?
It hurt a lot, Herman.
Very... if I may say so.
Looks like you've also
been in the wind.
I know it's... tough!
But you still have the world record?
Oh yes!
And no living soul can
take that from us!
How they play!
They're playing for us, Herman!
Herman!
Say cheese!