Help Me, Eros (2007) - full transcript
Ah Jie lost everything in the stock market due to a severe economic crisis. He spends his days in his sealed apartment, smoking joints and looking after the marijuana plants that he secretly grows in his wardrobe. In desperation, he calls a suicide helpline and gets to know Chyi, whose sweet and gentle voice causes him to fall in love with his fantasized image of her. He tries to ask her out but is repeatedly rejected. He begins projecting his fantasy of Chyi on Shin, the new girl working at the betel nut stall downstairs. Shin is always sexily dressed in order to lure male customers. Ah Jie becomes closer to her and soon the two of them sink into a world of erotic and psychedelic pleasures. At the same time, Ah Jie begins to stalk Chyi.
- Miss, I called earlier today.
- Hold on.
It's NT$100.
Mister, a hundred dollars.
- Can you help me?
- What?
So What part of the fish is this?
It's the fillet.
Fillet? Like a pork fillet??
Yes, it's the highest grade.
Now we pour the sauce over it.
The sauce we made earlier?
That's right. You have to be quick.
So it's done now?
That's right.
Come on then.
What's the name of this dish?
'Carp Jumps
Over the Dragon Gate'.
It's an auspicious name
for the Chinese.
You can see the fish is still alive.
See? It's mouth is still moving.
Is this a popular dish here?
No, it's not really popular
nowadays.
Because it takes
a lot of skills to make it.
And you have to be quick
so that the fish is
still moving when served.
Yes. So shall we...
Wow, is this beer to go
with the fish?
Yes, that's
how most people eat it.
- Here's a toast to you.
- Thank you.
We shall toast the fish as well.
I regret that it's
the victim of our show.
You've opened our eyes
to this unique cooking style.
Thank you very much.
I wonder what the fish
is thinking of now?
It's mouth is still moving.
It must be saying: Help Me!
Don't worry about it...
I'm here to help you.
Hello, this is helpline.
Yes, it's very fast.
It should stop rising soon.
Just wait.
It's like snakes and ladders.
It's rising higher and higher.
- Weisheng rose by only 20 cents.
- Yes, you should buy now.
- Xitong has risen 25 cents.
- Yes, up 25 cents.
25 cents.
Weisheng has gone up strongly.
Yes, 95 cents.
I could have earned NT$400.
I told you
we should have bought earlier.
Everyone's selling now.
One 'Mild Seven'.
Hey, you're not giving me a nut?
The other girl
always gives me one.
Thanks.
What's your name?
Thank you.
What's your name?
What's your name?
Sealed by the Taiwan
Kaohsiung Municipal Court
Jesus said: This is the time
of mankind's glory.
Solemnly have I said to thee.
If a grain of wheat falls and dies,
it's just a grain of wheat.
When it dies,
another grain will follow.
He who loves life, will lose it.
He who hates life,
will live eternally.
I gave it a lot of carbon dioxide.
I want it to be better.
I am...
Yes, I smoked a joint...
But I'm totally broke!
I made millions every month.
Now, they don't want me,
not even as a cleaner.
Yes, I've had enough for today.
Hello? Then what?
Hello?
The water's boiling.
I'm making instant noodles.
Instant noodles.
I said that I smoked a joint,
no I haven't eaten.
It's a joint.
Didn't I tell you what a joint is?
Exactly.
It's my life.
I can't live any other way.
You must help me, I beg you. I'm dying...
Yes, I'm preparing noodles.
Hello? Yes, I'm preparing them right now.
The stove is at maximum.
I'm turning off the gas.
What?
Yes, I'm feeling extremely high
right now.
But I had to call you before I die.
Open the windows?
Hello?
Yes, I'm opening the windows now.
Is this okay?
A comfortable place?
I'm comfortable now.
Yes.
I'm feeling better.
Yes, I'm okay now.
My stocks were frozen.
It's like I told you. I'm broke.
My apartment and my car...
I do want love!
But you're not giving it to me...
It's been a year and a half ago?
And did you try looking for
a different job?
As for your credit card problem,
I'm sure that the bank will
help you find
a solution.
I understand, I understand.
And what do you think's the reason?
Shin! Shin!
In the future, don't accept
these old coins.
Otherwise, you'll have to pay
it yourself.
There you go!
Haven't seen you in a while?
Where've you been?
Why? It's only been two days.
You miss me?
Who says it's been two days?
It's been two weeks.
- I don't believe you.
- Where did you go?
Take a guess.
Let me show you something.
Come closer.
I don't want to.
You've found someone else, right?
- What is it?
- Get in.
- And why would I do that?
- Do you see this? You want it?
It's for me?
Wait?
Have dinner with me tonight?
Why? Give it to me first.
Sir!
Sir!
You gave me an old coin this morning.
It's not valid.
Are you sure it was me?
Absolutely.
I don't have my wallet.
Why don't you take this?
You still owe me 50 dollars.
Sir.
- Will you buy this lamp?
- What?
- This lamp.
- A lamp? What kind?
It's a designer lamp.
Have a look.
We're not buying these.
We don't buy these types of lamps.
- I'll give you a good price.
- No, I'm not buying it.
Sorry.
It's a brand wallet.
I know you have a lot of rules.
I can't get to you
even when I want to.
You're hard to find.
Give me your MSN address?
And I'll give you mine.
Help me. Help me..
Help me.
H-e-l-p-m-e.
Helpme178.
@
There's a nurse downstairs...
A nurse and a schoolgirl.
Eros
Eros
Eros
Eros
Where are you?
Where are you?
Don't try to hide
Be happy
Be cheerful
Eros has found you
True love
True emotions
Don't keep them buried
in your heart
Accept it
Treasure it
For Eros has found you
Let us be together
And be a good couple
Tell me your feelings
Throw away your troubles
and worries
Right now
At this very moment
You and I are both here
Be happy
Be cheerful
For Eros has found you
For Eros has found you
For Eros has found you
Thanks.
Can you take me some place?
Thanks.
Hey, you want to see something?
"Used Cars for Sale."
You didn't have to lie
about stealing.
This is my ex-girlfriend.
We split last month.
I couldn't make my payments
and had to sell.
I left the original keys.
How much is this car?
More than a million.
Wow! Over a million?
Where are we going?
Shall we go take
a sticker photograph?
Faster!
You're too slow. Go faster!
What was that flash?
Radar.
You just cost me NT$1800.
Can we do it again?
Again? Sure.
Where is it?
Turn around!
What are you doing up here?
Oh God!
We must be crazy.
What are we doing here?
I am waiting for
a counselor of the helpline.
You called a helpline?
Why?
I'm tired of living.
Tired of living?
Which one is it?
Which one?
Is that her?
My body is filthy.
What are you smoking?
Inhale deeper.
Marijuana is God:
You finally responded.
Cupcake: I was afraid
it was nonsense.
Marijuana is God:
The world won't miss me when
I'm not here.
Cupcake: I'm sad when you don't
call me.
Marijuana is God: Thanks.
You're the only one that cares for me.
Marijuana is God: You're more
beautiful than I imagined.
Cupcake: Really?
Marijuana is God:
Who is that...
...fat girl next to you?
Cupcake: My pal.
She was slim before.
But her husband cooked for her
every day.
- Would you know if I told you?
- What?
- Would you know if I told you?
- Just tell me! Teach me.
- It's called a Porsche.
- Porsche?
Which model?
911.
- How weird.
- Not really.
You want to take a closer look?
Want to get in?
Let's go, get in.
Come on. Get in. Come on.
- All right.
- Don't worry, I'm won't sell you away.
Sell me? You won't make a penny?
- Why are you trembling?
- It's like someone having sex in here.
I checked the stock market
for you today.
The stocks you bought have gone up.
They've gone up 13 dollars.
Not bad.
You went for a walk?
That's nice.
Where did you go?
Dream Mall? Where's that?
A ferris wheel?
Me? In a pink blouse?
You must be mistaken.
I would say that this concerns you.
Sure, we can meet.
But I must inform my superior
of the situation.
A soldier commits suicide
by taking poison.
Be careful, it's hot.
It's the base of an ostrich's neck.
It's low in cholesterol
and calories.
It's good for the body.
Try the egg!
It's as big as 24 chicken eggs.
It takes a long time to fry it.
Michael's staying with us
for two nights.
What is that?
The sexual organs.
Why don't they have
feathers down there.
When they are young,
they will bite off the feathers
because of the smell.
- My friend wants to meet you.
- Really? What does he do?
- What do you think he does?
- I don't know? Same as you?
- Come on, I'll show you something.
- What is it?
Come closer.
It's here.
Come closer
Hey, Help! Let me go!
What happened? Are you okay?
What happened?
What happened?
Bastards.
I couldn't see him clearly.
Are you okay? Can you get up?
My God! Pigs!
Didn't he just give you a Louis Vuitton handbag?
What's wrong with him today?
The bag must be a fake.
Relax.
Inhale.
What are you giving her?
You want to try some?
You have just sent a nudge.
You may not send a nudge that often.
Didn't you want to talk face to face?
Come with me.
Is it a blackout?
Did you pay
the electricity bill?
I'll help you pay tomorrow.
There's no water, either.
Didn't I ask you
to bring water?
Why did you bring me this?
It's for you. To drink.
I needed water for the plants.
They'll die without water.
How would I know
there was no water?
Can't pay your own bills?
Just bring me some water.
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you done?
Today is the National Holiday of Taiwan
My son joined the army,
because he's a patriot.
Now he's missing, but neither
the previous ruling party
nor the current one will help.
This woman wants
to set herself on fire.
Nice!
Come here.
If I had known
you were not honest with me
I wouldn't have fallen for you.
If you loved me,
why have you left me?
Now, I can only blame myself.
But I can't stop myself
from thinking of you.
I can't stop myself
from loving you.
I can't help
but keep this love a secret
and bury it deeply in my heart.
If I knew
you weren't true to me
I would not have fallen for you.
If you loved me,
why did you leave me?
Now, I can only blame myself.
But I can't stop myself
from thinking of you.
I can't stop myself
from loving you.
I can't help
but keep this love a secret
and bury it deeply in my heart.
Can you help me call Shin?
She's not answering.
Did you call her?
I'm calling her.
It's switched off.
It's switched off!
What happened between you two?
Help me send her a text message.
Tell her to come back quickly.
Tell her to come back quickly.
Since everyone
has so many complaints
about the National Holiday
and are so unwilling to participate.
I propose abolishing it,
starting next year.
President Chen then took out
a baseball signed by Wang Jian Ming.
Was that your phone?
Wang plays for Taiwan.
Dear countrymen, let's cheer him,
for representing
Taiwan in baseball.
Give him an ovation.
Hurrah for Taiwan.
Hurrah for Taiwan.
- Mister.
- How are you?
A LCD screen.
Wait, there's more.
- It's a laptop.
- Are you moving?
No.
What else have you got?
What is it?
Put it there.
Here's a pair of binoculars.
Put it over there.
Anything else?
That's about it.
How much do you want for them?
Can you give me an estimate?
- What about the LCD screen?
- I bought it for NT$50,000.
NT$50,000 dollars.
Take a look at it.
Lottery Administration.
Can I help you?
How much does an egg weigh?
More than a kilogram.
24 times a chicken's egg.
Since you're here with us, Michael;
Why don't we demonstrate?
Let's see what an ostrich egg
omelet tastes like.
Here's this week's lotto draw.
Let's take a look at the
number of sold tickets.
The total sum this week
is NT$75,547,750.
That's right.
The total is NT$75,547,750.
You're watching this week's
live lotto draw.
The balls are rolling,
soon we'll know the results.
There'll be six numbers
plus one special number.
That's seven winning numbers in all.
Now let's have a look.
The first winning number is...
it's number 7!
And the second number is...
number 30.
And the third number is ...
number 9!
And now for the fourth number...
number 32!
The fifth is 37
and the sixth 2.
And our special number is 19.
Did you win?
If so, congratulations!
Coming up next
is our special draw...
Your case Mr. Lee needs your help.
He's at 6F 729 Chung Cheng Rd.
Go get changed quickly.
If a grain of wheat falls and dies,
it's nothing more than a grain of wheat.
When it dies,
more grain will follow.
Is life only a series
of struggles?
Is courage only for nursing
our tired souls?
Walking on this path
of no return
watching the inevitable happen.
Faced with endless
troubles and doubts
We struggle again and again
in a life of heavy and light
In a life of slow and fast
Who really understands
my troubles?
In a life of ups and downs
Of constant
moving and stopping.
Who can hear
my soul crying out?
In a life of heavy and light
In a life of slow and fast
Who really understands
my troubles?
In a life of ups and downs
Of constant moving and stopping.
Who can understand me and help me?
Help Me!
THE END
- Hold on.
It's NT$100.
Mister, a hundred dollars.
- Can you help me?
- What?
So What part of the fish is this?
It's the fillet.
Fillet? Like a pork fillet??
Yes, it's the highest grade.
Now we pour the sauce over it.
The sauce we made earlier?
That's right. You have to be quick.
So it's done now?
That's right.
Come on then.
What's the name of this dish?
'Carp Jumps
Over the Dragon Gate'.
It's an auspicious name
for the Chinese.
You can see the fish is still alive.
See? It's mouth is still moving.
Is this a popular dish here?
No, it's not really popular
nowadays.
Because it takes
a lot of skills to make it.
And you have to be quick
so that the fish is
still moving when served.
Yes. So shall we...
Wow, is this beer to go
with the fish?
Yes, that's
how most people eat it.
- Here's a toast to you.
- Thank you.
We shall toast the fish as well.
I regret that it's
the victim of our show.
You've opened our eyes
to this unique cooking style.
Thank you very much.
I wonder what the fish
is thinking of now?
It's mouth is still moving.
It must be saying: Help Me!
Don't worry about it...
I'm here to help you.
Hello, this is helpline.
Yes, it's very fast.
It should stop rising soon.
Just wait.
It's like snakes and ladders.
It's rising higher and higher.
- Weisheng rose by only 20 cents.
- Yes, you should buy now.
- Xitong has risen 25 cents.
- Yes, up 25 cents.
25 cents.
Weisheng has gone up strongly.
Yes, 95 cents.
I could have earned NT$400.
I told you
we should have bought earlier.
Everyone's selling now.
One 'Mild Seven'.
Hey, you're not giving me a nut?
The other girl
always gives me one.
Thanks.
What's your name?
Thank you.
What's your name?
What's your name?
Sealed by the Taiwan
Kaohsiung Municipal Court
Jesus said: This is the time
of mankind's glory.
Solemnly have I said to thee.
If a grain of wheat falls and dies,
it's just a grain of wheat.
When it dies,
another grain will follow.
He who loves life, will lose it.
He who hates life,
will live eternally.
I gave it a lot of carbon dioxide.
I want it to be better.
I am...
Yes, I smoked a joint...
But I'm totally broke!
I made millions every month.
Now, they don't want me,
not even as a cleaner.
Yes, I've had enough for today.
Hello? Then what?
Hello?
The water's boiling.
I'm making instant noodles.
Instant noodles.
I said that I smoked a joint,
no I haven't eaten.
It's a joint.
Didn't I tell you what a joint is?
Exactly.
It's my life.
I can't live any other way.
You must help me, I beg you. I'm dying...
Yes, I'm preparing noodles.
Hello? Yes, I'm preparing them right now.
The stove is at maximum.
I'm turning off the gas.
What?
Yes, I'm feeling extremely high
right now.
But I had to call you before I die.
Open the windows?
Hello?
Yes, I'm opening the windows now.
Is this okay?
A comfortable place?
I'm comfortable now.
Yes.
I'm feeling better.
Yes, I'm okay now.
My stocks were frozen.
It's like I told you. I'm broke.
My apartment and my car...
I do want love!
But you're not giving it to me...
It's been a year and a half ago?
And did you try looking for
a different job?
As for your credit card problem,
I'm sure that the bank will
help you find
a solution.
I understand, I understand.
And what do you think's the reason?
Shin! Shin!
In the future, don't accept
these old coins.
Otherwise, you'll have to pay
it yourself.
There you go!
Haven't seen you in a while?
Where've you been?
Why? It's only been two days.
You miss me?
Who says it's been two days?
It's been two weeks.
- I don't believe you.
- Where did you go?
Take a guess.
Let me show you something.
Come closer.
I don't want to.
You've found someone else, right?
- What is it?
- Get in.
- And why would I do that?
- Do you see this? You want it?
It's for me?
Wait?
Have dinner with me tonight?
Why? Give it to me first.
Sir!
Sir!
You gave me an old coin this morning.
It's not valid.
Are you sure it was me?
Absolutely.
I don't have my wallet.
Why don't you take this?
You still owe me 50 dollars.
Sir.
- Will you buy this lamp?
- What?
- This lamp.
- A lamp? What kind?
It's a designer lamp.
Have a look.
We're not buying these.
We don't buy these types of lamps.
- I'll give you a good price.
- No, I'm not buying it.
Sorry.
It's a brand wallet.
I know you have a lot of rules.
I can't get to you
even when I want to.
You're hard to find.
Give me your MSN address?
And I'll give you mine.
Help me. Help me..
Help me.
H-e-l-p-m-e.
Helpme178.
@
There's a nurse downstairs...
A nurse and a schoolgirl.
Eros
Eros
Eros
Eros
Where are you?
Where are you?
Don't try to hide
Be happy
Be cheerful
Eros has found you
True love
True emotions
Don't keep them buried
in your heart
Accept it
Treasure it
For Eros has found you
Let us be together
And be a good couple
Tell me your feelings
Throw away your troubles
and worries
Right now
At this very moment
You and I are both here
Be happy
Be cheerful
For Eros has found you
For Eros has found you
For Eros has found you
Thanks.
Can you take me some place?
Thanks.
Hey, you want to see something?
"Used Cars for Sale."
You didn't have to lie
about stealing.
This is my ex-girlfriend.
We split last month.
I couldn't make my payments
and had to sell.
I left the original keys.
How much is this car?
More than a million.
Wow! Over a million?
Where are we going?
Shall we go take
a sticker photograph?
Faster!
You're too slow. Go faster!
What was that flash?
Radar.
You just cost me NT$1800.
Can we do it again?
Again? Sure.
Where is it?
Turn around!
What are you doing up here?
Oh God!
We must be crazy.
What are we doing here?
I am waiting for
a counselor of the helpline.
You called a helpline?
Why?
I'm tired of living.
Tired of living?
Which one is it?
Which one?
Is that her?
My body is filthy.
What are you smoking?
Inhale deeper.
Marijuana is God:
You finally responded.
Cupcake: I was afraid
it was nonsense.
Marijuana is God:
The world won't miss me when
I'm not here.
Cupcake: I'm sad when you don't
call me.
Marijuana is God: Thanks.
You're the only one that cares for me.
Marijuana is God: You're more
beautiful than I imagined.
Cupcake: Really?
Marijuana is God:
Who is that...
...fat girl next to you?
Cupcake: My pal.
She was slim before.
But her husband cooked for her
every day.
- Would you know if I told you?
- What?
- Would you know if I told you?
- Just tell me! Teach me.
- It's called a Porsche.
- Porsche?
Which model?
911.
- How weird.
- Not really.
You want to take a closer look?
Want to get in?
Let's go, get in.
Come on. Get in. Come on.
- All right.
- Don't worry, I'm won't sell you away.
Sell me? You won't make a penny?
- Why are you trembling?
- It's like someone having sex in here.
I checked the stock market
for you today.
The stocks you bought have gone up.
They've gone up 13 dollars.
Not bad.
You went for a walk?
That's nice.
Where did you go?
Dream Mall? Where's that?
A ferris wheel?
Me? In a pink blouse?
You must be mistaken.
I would say that this concerns you.
Sure, we can meet.
But I must inform my superior
of the situation.
A soldier commits suicide
by taking poison.
Be careful, it's hot.
It's the base of an ostrich's neck.
It's low in cholesterol
and calories.
It's good for the body.
Try the egg!
It's as big as 24 chicken eggs.
It takes a long time to fry it.
Michael's staying with us
for two nights.
What is that?
The sexual organs.
Why don't they have
feathers down there.
When they are young,
they will bite off the feathers
because of the smell.
- My friend wants to meet you.
- Really? What does he do?
- What do you think he does?
- I don't know? Same as you?
- Come on, I'll show you something.
- What is it?
Come closer.
It's here.
Come closer
Hey, Help! Let me go!
What happened? Are you okay?
What happened?
What happened?
Bastards.
I couldn't see him clearly.
Are you okay? Can you get up?
My God! Pigs!
Didn't he just give you a Louis Vuitton handbag?
What's wrong with him today?
The bag must be a fake.
Relax.
Inhale.
What are you giving her?
You want to try some?
You have just sent a nudge.
You may not send a nudge that often.
Didn't you want to talk face to face?
Come with me.
Is it a blackout?
Did you pay
the electricity bill?
I'll help you pay tomorrow.
There's no water, either.
Didn't I ask you
to bring water?
Why did you bring me this?
It's for you. To drink.
I needed water for the plants.
They'll die without water.
How would I know
there was no water?
Can't pay your own bills?
Just bring me some water.
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you done?
Today is the National Holiday of Taiwan
My son joined the army,
because he's a patriot.
Now he's missing, but neither
the previous ruling party
nor the current one will help.
This woman wants
to set herself on fire.
Nice!
Come here.
If I had known
you were not honest with me
I wouldn't have fallen for you.
If you loved me,
why have you left me?
Now, I can only blame myself.
But I can't stop myself
from thinking of you.
I can't stop myself
from loving you.
I can't help
but keep this love a secret
and bury it deeply in my heart.
If I knew
you weren't true to me
I would not have fallen for you.
If you loved me,
why did you leave me?
Now, I can only blame myself.
But I can't stop myself
from thinking of you.
I can't stop myself
from loving you.
I can't help
but keep this love a secret
and bury it deeply in my heart.
Can you help me call Shin?
She's not answering.
Did you call her?
I'm calling her.
It's switched off.
It's switched off!
What happened between you two?
Help me send her a text message.
Tell her to come back quickly.
Tell her to come back quickly.
Since everyone
has so many complaints
about the National Holiday
and are so unwilling to participate.
I propose abolishing it,
starting next year.
President Chen then took out
a baseball signed by Wang Jian Ming.
Was that your phone?
Wang plays for Taiwan.
Dear countrymen, let's cheer him,
for representing
Taiwan in baseball.
Give him an ovation.
Hurrah for Taiwan.
Hurrah for Taiwan.
- Mister.
- How are you?
A LCD screen.
Wait, there's more.
- It's a laptop.
- Are you moving?
No.
What else have you got?
What is it?
Put it there.
Here's a pair of binoculars.
Put it over there.
Anything else?
That's about it.
How much do you want for them?
Can you give me an estimate?
- What about the LCD screen?
- I bought it for NT$50,000.
NT$50,000 dollars.
Take a look at it.
Lottery Administration.
Can I help you?
How much does an egg weigh?
More than a kilogram.
24 times a chicken's egg.
Since you're here with us, Michael;
Why don't we demonstrate?
Let's see what an ostrich egg
omelet tastes like.
Here's this week's lotto draw.
Let's take a look at the
number of sold tickets.
The total sum this week
is NT$75,547,750.
That's right.
The total is NT$75,547,750.
You're watching this week's
live lotto draw.
The balls are rolling,
soon we'll know the results.
There'll be six numbers
plus one special number.
That's seven winning numbers in all.
Now let's have a look.
The first winning number is...
it's number 7!
And the second number is...
number 30.
And the third number is ...
number 9!
And now for the fourth number...
number 32!
The fifth is 37
and the sixth 2.
And our special number is 19.
Did you win?
If so, congratulations!
Coming up next
is our special draw...
Your case Mr. Lee needs your help.
He's at 6F 729 Chung Cheng Rd.
Go get changed quickly.
If a grain of wheat falls and dies,
it's nothing more than a grain of wheat.
When it dies,
more grain will follow.
Is life only a series
of struggles?
Is courage only for nursing
our tired souls?
Walking on this path
of no return
watching the inevitable happen.
Faced with endless
troubles and doubts
We struggle again and again
in a life of heavy and light
In a life of slow and fast
Who really understands
my troubles?
In a life of ups and downs
Of constant
moving and stopping.
Who can hear
my soul crying out?
In a life of heavy and light
In a life of slow and fast
Who really understands
my troubles?
In a life of ups and downs
Of constant moving and stopping.
Who can understand me and help me?
Help Me!
THE END