Hawaiian Gardens (2001) - full transcript

- We sell stories for children,

romance, horror, sex,
science-fiction, house and garden.

We sell it for pennies and for millions.

(shoes clacking)

(citizen shouting)

(shoes clacking)

(citizen shouting)

(citizen weeping)

(soft somber music)

(gate rattling)

(soft romantic music)



♪ We share a certain hunger ♪

♪ A scent we can't ignore ♪

♪ She closes all ♪

♪ Escape routes ♪

♪ Just looking in your eyes ♪

♪ She's shinin' like the full moon ♪

♪ No clouds obscure the sky ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

- What time is it?

- What?

- Aye, baby. You better go.

Don't wanna miss your bus.

A kiss for mama?



♪ Will show you ♪

♪ Who ♪

♪ You really are ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ Everything will change ♪

♪ Play my noble game ♪

♪ We share a certain hunger ♪

♪ A scent we can't ignore ♪

- It's amazing, huh?

- Uh-huh.

From the hungry guy who's
standing in the cold

underneath the restaurant window

and he smells the smells from the kitchen

and he makes it his meal.

Remember?

- I do not.

- Liar.

- No, it's true.

You refreshed my memory.

But don't forget to analyze it

and we'll discuss it this afternoon.

- Of course.

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

♪ Help me ♪

♪ I can't find my way ♪

- Excuse me, sir?

Sir?

I have an appointment with Mr. Shulzov.

Is he on the first or the second floor?

Thanks.

(helicopter blades whirring)

(typewriter clacking)

Mr. Shulzov?

I am such a big fan.
- What are you doing here?

I am in awe of your accomplishment.

I am such a big fan of yours.

- Big fan? You're a pain.

Big pain in my butt!

- I really am a big fan.
- You get outta this room now.

- I just wanna ask you.
- Get out of this room.

You leave my room immediately.
- I really am a fan.

Sir, I cannot.

- I will bodily kick you out of this here.

Get out of here! Get out of this room.

- Please just a few questions, sir.

- No, no!

Out of this room.

Don't you come back.

Don't ever come back!

Jesus! (bangs)

I cannot believe this.

How could she come here?

(Shirin humming)

- (gasps) Jesus Christ, Shulzov.

- Did you tell that woman where I live?

I knew you were stupid,

but I didn't know you were the
most stupid person on earth.

Didn't I tell all of
you at least 1,000 times

what to do?
- I didn't see a soul

this morning, you jerk.

What is the matter with
you, you demented freak?

- Did you or didn't you?

- No!

Get out.

- I don't believe you.
- Get out!

Hey, cut it out!

Shulzov!

And you're stupid!

Stupid!

(chair shuffling)

- I knew it. It was you, wasn't it?

It was you. You gave me
away like you did Pedro!

- Easy. Easy, sir.

Easy, sir.

Tell me, what happened?

- I don't live here!

- Yes, sir.

I mean.

No, sir.

- Yes, sir. No, sir.

The matter with you? You loco?

Do you have a brain?

Why did you tell people how to find me?

Huh?

Didn't I teach you 1,000 times

what to do if anyone asked for me?

- I know, I know.

I just shrug.

- You just shrug.

That's right, you just shrug.

Well why didn't you just shrug?

- Hey, you shut up!

You shut up now!
- And you gave me away,

didn't you?

- No, senor.
- You gave me away.

- You are outta your mind, senor.

Go cool off.

Come on, go on.

Go.

Bruno.

Did you do anything?

- Mr. Hu'o'ng.

I just wanna remind you what
to do if someone asks for me.

You just shrug, right?

What?

- I would shoot.

Mr. Shulzov.

Look, I'm so sorry.
- No.

- I didn't mean to.
- No.

Not you!

Not you.

- I'm so sorry.

- I can't believe it.

Our friendship is over.

I will never speak to you again.

Never.

(rhythmic jazz music)

(car engine roaring)

- Rock n' roll!

(motorcycle engine roaring)

(cellphone chiming)

- Yeah, hello?

- Richard, this is bullshit!

You're back already, Baldi?

Stop talking Richard, you messed up

Common, you're driving my second car, Baldi

No! You're in breach of contract

Where are you now?

At the office. Going in now.

Don't even think about going in there.

This is crazy, you've lost your mind, Baldi.

Baldi!

Dammit!

(rhythmic jazz music)
(car engine roaring)

(smooth reggae music)
(people chattering)

Look! The Graphics. 16 colours, that'll work.

Check it out, I'll show you something...

(phone ringing)

Hold on a minute.

Hey, Richard! Hello! What? Bullshit!

Yes, thanks. I'll take care of it.

- (claps) Hey!

Baldi's back.

(people chattering)

And he fired Richard!

- What?
- Is he nuts?

(people chattering)

He saw him racing through town in his Porsche!

Fuck! That's fucked up!

(bicycle banging)

- Hey Baldi!
- Sit!

- Baldi hi!
- Looking great!

Quit the bullshit!

Striezel! Did Richard call?

- An hour.....
- What?

- ...called

For sure, a blind man can see that!

Thats just great! There's another one outside!

- Fritz! You wanna get fired too?

- How much are you making here?
- Don't know..

You make 100,000 a month. I know by heart!

What were you making at the bank?

Also 100 000! A YEAR!

(hand smacking)

So, gentlemen! Under my watch, nobody shows off.

Nobody's allowed to know how much we pull in.
That's in the contract!

If you can't pull that off until you're 38,
it's your own fault!

NO showing off, until you're 38

Only the IRS knows how much we make.

When you're 38 you can buy a castle, a Rolls and designer clothes for all that I care.

Then you're retired and it's none of my business.

Until you're 38 you do as I say!

Is that clear!?

I said, is that clear!?

Yes, that's what we agreed to.

That's all!

Striezel!!

(fingers snapping)

(shoes stomping)

(coin clinking)

(doors clacking)

You didn't have to fire him right away! Richard is our best programmer.

We'll find a better one!

Here, look at this.

L.A. Times? What are they writing?

Read it!

- (chuckles) "Dog Shit".

Great! Is he still alive?

It would be interesting to see where he's living!

Shopping mall...

Well, L.A. is huge.

I would like to find out. You know, for the new software,

What do you mean?

Well, this would be just the right job for Richard.

But he is out!

(shoes stomping)

(workers chattering)

(smooth rhythmic music)

- Thanks, Bruno.

(smooth rhythmic music)
(people chattering)

(soft mysterious music)

- Hot plate.

Hot plate.

Hot plate.

- Gracias.

(soft mysterious music)

- Everything all right?

(plate shattering)

(soft solemn music)

(truck engine roaring)

- No, no!

No!

(Shirin weeping)

- It's okay.

Can you walk?
- I'm okay.

- Can you walk?
- Yeah.

It's okay.

I'm all right. (weeps)

- It's just a small scratch, dear.

There's nothing to worry about.

There's nothing to worry.

- Oh Shulzov, can you reach me my dress?

- That feels nice.

Haven't touched a petticoat
dress since my bebop days.

- You used to dance?

- Hey, that was the best.

(Shirin chuckling)

That was the best.

- Look at you.

- [Shulzov] Yes.

- It's an original.

Its '40s.

My clients loved it.

Oh.

Oh, here.

Oh, man.

Shulzov, can you take it to
Mr. Hu'o'ng in the morning?

- No.

I'm not speaking to him.

- He's your good friend.

You shouldn't be mean to him.

- He betrayed me.

- Yeah, but you know
there's forgiveness too.

- Don't lecture me, sweetheart.

(Shirin sighing)

- You wanna hear a story?

- Of course, sweetie.

- Today I had breakfast at Consuela's

and Rosa.

- [Shulzov] Rosa?

- Rosa dropped a full plate.

- [Shulzov] So what?

- This young guy came in, a backpacker

and she just stopped dead in her tracks,

stared at him

and this one plate just
slid off her wrist.

And she served him like that
like she was in a trance.

She didn't snap out of it until he left.

It was like love at first sight.

(Shulzov wheezing)

It was classic.

(Shulzov coughing)

- Excuse me.

Well (clears throat) you get better.

(smooth hip-hop music)

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

(rhythmic retro music)

- MO.

- Mr. Hu'o'ng.

- I'll cut you the check.

- Good. Very good.

So how are you today?

- Good.

- Listen, I'm sorry about
havin' to raise your rent.

- I know.

City charges went up.

- Mmh.

(rhythmic retro music)

- Would you like some tea?

- I would love some tea.

(rhythmic retro music)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'll be over soon, Mr. Shulzov.

- Don't get too excited, Mr. Owner.

She just waiting.

(rhythmic retro music)

(knuckles knocking)

- MO, oh.
- Okay?

- Thank you. You fixed it.

Oh, it's lovely to see you.

Mm, I feel good today.

(rhythmic retro music)

- I didn't scare you, did I?

- No.

- Thank you.

Move, you two.

Hey. (whistles)

(siren wailing)

- Nein.

Nein.

I found him. It's all going to plan.

What do you mean, if I've talked to him, Striezel! You
usually don't ask such bullshit!

What?

I found a way. In 2-3 days, and he'll have signed
everything.

What?! Ah...! No!

(smooth rhythmic music)

- Hey, hop in.

(smooth rhythmic music)

(car horns honking)

- How long we are going to stay?

- We have 'til sunset.

Here.

- I'll take this.

- No, it's okay.

Grab the chairs, all right?

And the radio too, please.

(chairs clanking)

(plane engine roaring)

(soft romantic music)

♪ I never felt ♪

♪ Sensation ♪

♪ 'Til she played me like a drum ♪

♪ Hearts break like rocky glaciers ♪

♪ Beneath the burning sun ♪

♪ I look into ♪

♪ The mirror ♪

♪ Don't know what I've become ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

- You still don't wanna swim?

Lemme guess what you are.

Hmm.

I would say that you're

a geologist.

You study the age of the Earth.

No?

Hmm, 'kay.

You're a land surveyor.

You walk long distances
with your instruments.

(helicopter blades whirring)

Maybe you're a helicopter pilot.

You could take me away

to lots of strange and interesting places,

as strange and interesting as you are.

♪ Romance left unfinished ♪

♪ The way you cry out ♪

♪ For her more ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

- Look how thin my mama
makes her tortillas.

Close your eyes.

Close 'em.

♪ Help me ♪

♪ I can't find my way ♪

- [Rosa] Open your mouth and take a bite.

(food crunching)
(singer vocalizing)

♪ Help me ♪

(Rosa laughing)
(Baldi grunting)

- Oh.

Wait, wait, wait.

Here, taste this.

- [Baldi] It's like hell.

- Taste this.

Here, here, here.

(chip crunching)

Thirsty?
- Yeah.

- Thirsty?

Here, mama's lemonade.

(Baldi speaking in foreign language)

(waves crashing)

- Thirsty, huh?

You wanna kiss me?

(chuckles) Just kidding.

(waves crashing)

Hey.

Try this.

You wanna taste it?

Good, huh?

- Yeah.

It's good.

It's good.

- And Melville and Beckett
and Proust and Marquez,

Carson McCullers.

Kleist, Faulkner,

Kafka, Mishima,

Bravia and Hansen.

My list is endless.

Reading is my passion.

It really is.

(waves crashing)

You learn everything.

You don't have to travel
'cause you are traveling.

I was in Alexandria lately
with Lawrence Durrell.

He wrote these four novels
which are four different aspects

of the same group of people.

They all have so many layers.

They're all kinda crooks too.

But these layers that they have

and unexpected twists and turns.

Oh and that city, it smells and it tastes

and it changes its colors.

When I find a book like that,

I can read all through the night.

- Who finds them for you?

- I have this-

- [Baldi] Hmm?

- I'll tell you later.

(waves crashing)

Oh god, that's so cold. (chuckles)

Thank you. (shivers)

(waves crashing)

Do you like it?

Do you wanna kiss me now?

(plane engine roaring)

So who's your favorite writer?

- You know "Dog Shit"?

Yeah?

- I have to change.

(plane engine roaring)

(plane engine roaring)

(car horn beeping)

(soft somber music)

(car horn honking)

(crickets chirping)

(Baldi speaking in foreign language)

- [Rosa] You know, we just played ball

and walked on the beach and
used the workout equipment.

- I'm just wondering why
you left the guy behind.

'Cause to me, you seem quite fascinated.

(chuckles) Sorry.

You don't have to tell me anything.

- The guy is strange.

He didn't walk. He didn't talk.

He didn't swim.

Then he mentioned his favorite book.

"Dog Shit".

(Shulzov grunting)

- Your friend looks like he's
gonna wear out the concrete

waiting for you

or for me.

(smooth rhythmic music)

- Girl home?

- She's over at Shulzov.

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

- No no no, take your time.

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

- Now what kind of
agenda do you have today?

- Wait.

You see that guy over there?

(car engine roaring)

(smooth rhythmic music)

Hi.

- [Baldi] Hi.

- Hop in.

- Baldi, MO.

- Nice to meet you, Baldi.

- MO.

Right?
- Right.

- Nice meeting you too.

- Mr. Owner, Mall Owner.

That's what everybody calls him.

Right, MO?

- Whatever you say, Miss Rosa.

Miss Rosa, Miss Rosa, Miss Rosa.

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

- Where are we going?

- Slammer, my friend.

- To visit my father.

My father's in jail.

- When did this happen?

- About four years ago.

- Yeah.

- But was it not your
father in this restaurant?

- No, that was Bruno.

- My mother's lover.

(cellphone chiming)

- Nice piece of equipment you got there.

That's quite a gadget for a student.

- What is it?

- World phone.

He's got the whole wide world in his palm.

(phone clacking)

Does he really think, I don't notice when he shuts off his
phone?

S.O.S. and he doesn't reply. He could give a shit.

I don't care if this is a non smoking office. I'm lighting
one up.

Fucking shit, dammit!

(furniture crashing)

Lunch time!

- Hi Papi.

Como estas?

(Pedro speaking in foreign language)

- I have some lemonade.

Do you want some right now?

Hello Pedro.

Been okay?

(lemonade trickling)

- Hey dad.

This is Baldi.

- Hi sir.

Hello.

- Oh and I brought those
light sleeveless t-shirts

that you like,

(speaks in foreign
language), summer blanket.

(Rosa speaking in foreign language)

A contract.

- Contract?

- I told you.

- Not really.

- It was for me.

- It was for you what?

- Real.

- All right.

Come on, tell me.

- 10 years lease-free from signature date.

- Aw, come on, Rosa.

Be reasonable.

That brings it up to 14 years.

- What?

Look, my father's in jail.

And if you ask me, he's
doing your time too.

- He got convicted, not me.

- 'Cause you had your high-end lawyer

and I got stuck with
a cheapo free counsel.

Son of a bitch!
- Okay.

Pedro, Pedro, Pedro.

Pedro, calm down.

- Esta bien, Papi.

Esta bien.

- Calm down, all right?

All right, so I'll sign the contract.

You are incredible

and you brought along an eye
witness just in case, eh?

- Just in case.

- (huffs) Girl, you are a piece of work.

(MO whistling)

(smooth rhythmic music)

- Jellybean?

So what did you think about my dad?

Hmm?

Aren't you curious?

- Why would a guy be interested?

- My father's in jail because of me.

- [MO] Oh come on, Rosa.

Who wants to know and also is it true?

- What are you talking about?

(smooth rhythmic music)

(crossing dinging)

- Your dad just didn't get it.

- Because he was desperate.

He invested too much into the business.

He couldn't pay off the lease.

- Tried to help him out.

(smooth rhythmic music)
(Rosa chuckling)

(MO whistling)

(MO laughing)

(Rosa chuckling)

- So

you and he?

- We had a little affair.

- When?

- When I was 13.

- 13.
(tires screeching)

(Rosa chuckling)
(siren wailing)

You were a child!

I don't find this funny.

There must been somebody
who didn't find this right,

somebody who turned you in.

- Bruno did.

- He was already my mother's lover.

- We wanted to get Pedro outta the house.

(car horn honking)

(Rosa laughing)

(Baldi speaking in foreign language)

- (vocalizes) Sit down, young man,

until the passenger seatbelt
signs have been turned off.

- (chuckles) You're so funny.

- [Baldi] Oh no.

(car engine rumbling)

(door handle clicking)

- Thank you.

- Welcome.

- Invite him up.

- Hey Baldi, come back.

You wanna meet my best friend?

Oh come on.

(knuckles knocking)

- Come in.

- This is Baldi.

- Come on, come on in.

I'm Shulzov.

- Hi.
- And Rosa tells me

and you must correct me if I'm mistaken,

your favorite book is "Dog Shit".

- Yes, it's "Dog Shit".

- [Shulzov] Are you a journalist?

- No.

I'm from Germany and I'm so happy now.

I'm so glad, Mr. Shulzov.

I'm so glad that I found you.

- (chuckles) You found me.

(Shulzov chuckling)

It was a pleasure having you, Mr. Graf.

Bye, bye.

(Rosa sighing)

So that's your new friend.

Baldi.

(soft somber music)

- Oh, thank you.

(cellphone ringing)

- [Assistant] Yes, hello?

Yes, it's me, Monika. Can I talk to Striezel?

Yes of course.

Baldi.

(soft somber music)

- Baldi?

Why is it taking so long?

You didn't call for quite a while!

That's none of your fucking business!

Really? It's none of my business, when you deliver three
times a week!

But you haven't delivered in three weeks!

What do you think, how long it took for me to find his
address.

Maybe it's your problem, that you are chasing after one
single guy, when you're usually after a dozen.

I'm the boss, and I do what I think is right.

Yeah, Baldi, you run the company, but the company is out of step.

We are used to you calling several times a day to keep thing moving.

Do you think that suddenly everybody knows what to do?

If you don't give us direction, nothing happens here.

And the new software is making everyone nervous.

Are you still there?

Are you still there, Baldi?

(soft somber music)

Baldi, are you still there?

Striezel ...

when are you getting married?

On Saturday. You are my best man. I have your word.

I don't know, Striezel. I don't think I'll make it.

(soft somber music)

That's not the Baldi I know. There's something going on.

Something different.

(car engine roaring)

(helicopter blades whirring)

- You know, you owe me $750,000.

No, no, no.

I expect it in that bag.

(lively Banda music)

(group laughing)

- Whoa, cowboy.

Whoa, cowboy.

(group laughing)

(Shirin shrieking)

(hand slapping)

(lively Banda music)

(Mr. Hu'o'ng whispering)

- I'm not talking to you.

♪ Yes, happy birthday to you ♪

- Aww.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Rosa?

Rosa.

You want to kiss me?

Here I am.

- That was another day.

- Please.

- Mind if I change? It's hot.

(Baldi groaning)

- Rosa. (sighs)

I want to kiss you.

- Okay, Baldi. Come here.

Baldi, Baldi.

Baldi, stop.

Listen.

- No.
- Listen.

- I know, Rosa.

I don't want to listen.

- All right, listen.

- I want to kiss you.

- You can kiss me if you
answer some questions.

I have three questions.

You can answer them now or
you can answer them later.

Who are you?

What do you do?

(burps) Oops, sorry.

Why are you here?

- Okay. (sighs)

- Shulzov.

- Yes.

- Shulzov.

(Shulzov chuckling)

Can we talk?

- Sure.

- He's a businessman from Germany.

"Out of the Bavarian
Woods," is how he puts it.

He runs something similar
to a publishing house,

but it feels more like
virtual to me, Internet stuff.

He travels all over the world

in order to find his merchandise.

He visits old or unknown
or forgotten writers

and he buys their unpublished work.

- Hmm.

Well this is very interesting.

But how did you make him talk?

- That's none of your
business, Mr. Shulzov.

- How does he find the writers?

- He didn't say.

- How does he pay them?

- He didn't tell me.

- How does he make money off them?

- I don't know yet.

- Find out.

- How do you look when
you're not on the road?

- Same.

- See, I suspected that.

- What do you mean?

- Well you're poor like us,

except for your world phone
and your plane ticket.

(crickets chirping)

- You like money?

- (sighs) Come on, let's go.

- [Baldi] Tell me.

Tell me if you like money.

- [Rosa] I don't like
to fantasize about it.

I like it when it's real

- It is, Rosa.

I can buy you the world.

- Yeah, for 9 99, huh? (chuckles)

- Rosa, I want you to believe me.

If you like it,

I have.

If you like me,

it's yours.

- Baldi, this isn't funny to me.

And it isn't fair,
especially if it isn't true.

So you need to tell me.

- Make a guess.

- What?

- How much I make.

- Oh, three grand a month.

- More.
- Five.

- More.
- 10.

- More.
- 20.

- More.
- Baldi, stop it.

I'm not joking. I'm not kidding.

I'm serious.
- I'm too, Rosa.

Come on, go on.

- You know what? This doesn't feel real.

This just doesn't feel real to me.

- Rosa, come on.

Say any number.

- Uh.

100,000, 200,000,

300,000, 400,000,

500,000, 600,000.

A million.

- That's pretty close.

- Bullshit.

You mean to tell me

that your company is
making $1 million a year.

- No.

- Good.

- That's what I meant per month.

(coyotes barking)
(crickets chirping)

- Shulzov, he's making millions.

- Off book writes from old unknowns?

That's bullshit.

- You think he's lying.

- Yes.

- I don't.

How late is it?

- Well not too late, I hope.

(announcer speaking in foreign language)

- It just kills me

that masterpieces from your
hand are wanting somewhere

without being enjoyed by
so many people like myself.

- Maybe I'm not interested.

- But it's not about you.

It's about your work.

See. (speaks in foreign language)

I have this publisher friend in Germany.

Small, very selective.

It wouldn't hurt you

if I show him some manuscript of yours.

See.

This is a very simple agreement

allowing me to try something

without infringing in
your genuine copyrights.

Give it a look.

Now

what do you think?

(Shulzov sighing)
(paper flicking)

- Some old stories for starters.

- Thank you, Mr. Shulzov.

And if you want,

I could come back tomorrow

and make you copies of
everything you have.

I could even create an
inventory list for you.

Costs you not a dime.

- And you return everything the same day?

- In a few hours.

- Amazing.

And you don't forget to
make a copy for yourself.

- Just a small sign of my admiration.

Rosa.

- [Rosa] How did you find me?

- Kiss me, Rosa.

(Rosa chuckling)

Kiss me.

- Don't be silly.

Aye, come help.

Come help.

Here, gimme the-

- What?

- Go ahead, pass me that
bag so nobody gets it.

(coins clinking)

So how was your meeting?

- Good.

- [Rosa] Yeah?

- He gave me a script.

- He never does that.

- He likes me.

(Rosa chuckling)

I know you are curious
with all that I'm doing.

- I'm not.

- Wow.

Embrace me, Rosa.

(Baldi and Rosa chuckling)

Will you stay like this for awhile

if I tell you about my life?

Hmm?

- It depends.

- Three months I travel.

Three months I'm in my office.

Three months I travel

and three months I'm in my office again.

I've doing this since I'm 19.

- How's Alexandria?

You won't believe this.

He has an unbelievable schedule.

For example,

he goes to Egypt.

He starts in Cairo, visits
some cultural institutions

always looking like a student.

Libraries, bookshops,
book clubs, you name it.

And in less than a day,

he collects over 100
addresses of old writers.

He goes through-

- He does the same
routine as he did with me

offering the poor old
guys and girls some hope

and $100 bill,

copies all their stuff and
they never hear from him again.

- Yes, now listen to these numbers.

78 writers in Vietnam in 10 weeks,

121 in Nigeria in 11 weeks,

53 in Malaysia in five weeks,

over 200 in Brazil in 12 weeks.

- He rips 'em off, gives
'em no more than a tip

and he amasses copyrights,

ideas

the knowledge of the world.

But.

- But what, Shulzov?

- How does he sell it?

- You want to go to
Magic Mountain tomorrow?

Hmm?

- Hmm, let's see.

Maybe.

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

- Oh, you know?

MO is picking me up.

- No.

No, he's not, Rosa!

He's not!
- Yes.

- Rosa, don't go!

- What?

What?
- Rosa.

- What?

- Rosa.
- Stop it, stop it.

- No, Rosa.

Rosa.
- What?

- What I have to do?

- First of all.
- To make you stay.

- Calm down. (grunts)

- Rosa.

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

♪ Chenki chenki chenki chenki ♪

- You changed me.

I never felt the need to
tell somebody my secrets.

I never felt a need for a friend.

When I look at you,

I want to tell you everything.

I want you to be a part of my life.

I want to share everything with you.

I want you to be my partner.

I want you to travel with me.

I wanted the office with
me, be at home with me.

Rosa.

We both do books,

but you love them in a different way.

- Wait a minute.

You told me you were rich.

You spoke of your schedule.

You spoke of your travels,

your hunt.

The more you tell me, the
less I feel I know about you.

- Now you're on the right track.

- The most important fact
of his business he says

is that computer programs
are not creative.

They do everything
except invent something.

- But this is what he
needs the writers for.

- We are just 13 guys.

Each of us has a very
different thing to cover.

Hundred of specialists are working for us.

Analysts, editors, translators
and distributors, designers,

Internet scanners, web runners.

- Students, housewives,

jobless teachers, all for minimum wages.

All this stuff he drags in from abroad

is categorized, labeled and channeled.

- In Bombay alone, we use three companies

which are just finding addresses

and opening doors for us worldwide.

- For example, a Korean TV station

wants something similar to "Baywatch".

They get their stories for
their series from Baldi's firm

by the dozens or by the
hundreds, whatever they need.

The master story computer's memory

knows every original idea

Baldi's ever collected
from the old writers.

His editors just feed it

into this TV series structure device

and here you have your
treatments for a series.

It even comes with budgets attached.

- And the names of the original
writers are never used.

It's no longer their work anyway.

- The Bombay Company finds
every publisher, film company,

advertising agency, big or small

from Hollywood to Hong Kong
and knocks at their doors.

- We sell stories for
children, romance, horror,

sex, science-fiction, house and garden.

We sell for pennies and for millions.

- And their clients make
their electronic payments

directly into the County
Savings & Loan Bank

in Bayerisch Eisenstein
in the Bavarian Woods.

(soft somber music)
(singer vocalizing)

So what do you read for yourself?

- Nothing.

- I thought you said "Dog
Shit" was your favorite book.

- I never read it.

(Shirin chuckling)

- You looking for Rosa?

(siren wailing)

Guys the young man is with her.

What did you think of him?

(regal orchestral music)

- Look at her.

I could watch her again and again.

Look at that old guy

how proud he was in his youth,

(regal orchestral music)

how exhausted life has left him.

Look.

Shulzov.

(regal orchestral music)

- Sleep with me, Rosa.

Please.

- He's not an unknown writer.

(Baldi sighing)

He's famous, you know?

He just hated the glitz
and glamor of fame.

He doesn't even wanna
publish his new work.

He wanted to feel real.

He wants to be around real people like us.

It's what feeds his art.

So why do you bother him, huh?

- Sleep with me.

Please,

Rosa, stay with me.

- You know, I thought about
everything you told me.

Everything makes sense except for Shulzov.

Why him?

- Will you sleep with me if I tell you?

- Tell me.

- Come closer.

Come.

I own your software.

It uses the brand scent of masterpieces.

Imagine

I buy a Stephen King novel

without ever using its text.

I suck out its essence.

I feed

my new software with it.

It creates new masterpieces.

I create new masterpieces.

- Is that what you want with "Dog Shit"?

- Here.

Here.

Here, here!

And I have your...

Is this what would do?

Masterpieces from a bestselling
writer, unpublished.

35 years of work.

Is this what would do for
you and your new software,

your new toy, your new money machine?

Take it!

Suck it dry.

It's yours.

Take it! Here.

(papers thudding)

Oh.

Oh, you're too shy now?

Are you having a sudden fit
of sensibility and guilt?

You pathetic human being.

(door banging)

Is that what you wanna get involved with?

Is that what you want in your life?

(soft romantic music)

(Baldi breathing heavily)
(door slamming)

(chair cracking)

(TV smashing)

(Baldi shouting)
(mirror shattering)

(furniture smashing)

(picture shattering)

- Nooooooo!
(plane engine roaring)

(soft somber music)

That's ugly.

This is the most desolate
office I've ever seen.

Nothing nice

Not even flowers

(employee chuckling)

Stop giggling, you idiot.

The idiot's name is Fritz! Baldi!

In case you forgot, since you've
been gone for so long.

And don't let your
frustration out on us.

Everyone here is keeping
your company afloat.

I keep the company afloat,
no-one else.

Your USA trip was a failure,
and you left us all hanging.

The new software is tested
and works beautifully.

Even if you all want to laugh
about it, I don't care.

It will be done my way,
because I say so. Basta!

Baldi, no!

Baldi, you're wrong.
It has to change.

Ach Striezel, you think
I can't fire you?

Looks like you are wrong.

Who is for the new program?

And who is against it?

This is how we do things now.

I'm sorry, Baldi

Mutiny on the Bounty

- Baldi.

Baldi.

Baldi, listen. Nobody wants
to risk our insane success.

Don't you get it?

Why don't you do this with a new company?
New software, new company!

You don't have to travel all the time.

We have material until retirement.

We need our boss here with us,
don't you understand that?

And not one who shuts down
their phone for two weeks..

Cut it out!

You're all fired.

Go ahead, Baldi, do it.

(plane engine roaring)

- Aye, aye, aye.

- I know.

I know.

(soft somber music)

(Baldi breathing heavily)

(Rosa laughing)

- Mr. Shulzov, I will
always be your friend.

(Consuela gasping)

(Bruno chuckling)

- So

do you think it was the right move?

Close the door!

Power to the Authors. With "The plan" Stephen King
writes Bestseller on the Internet without publisher.

Sneaky Stephen King uses his power as bestseller
guarantor and points out the weak position of authors.

Respect my copyright.
It's all I have as a writer.

(group laughing)

So we have the major deal
from API TV in Seoul.

Hu'o'ng in Hong Kong can
take care of it, right?

Who's for it?

We have to define the new software.
We got a Bittmail from a company.

They're all greedy pigs. I know. There
are others that aren't so stuffed yet.

Excuse me Miss, this is an office.
Would you mind leaving...

Miss, I don't know if you heard...

- [Rosa] Hi Baldi.

- Rosa.

What are you doing...?

(Baldi thudding)

- Hey.

Baldi.

(soft somber music)

(soft intriguing music)
(people chattering)

If all were here....

Baldi is coming later, right?

He didn't say. He'll be here soon.

Hi.

- Kus-cut.

Beer's no good today?

You know Rosa, right!

You could have at least told us.

You mean, we should have voted?

This is the way it is.
Sit down, dammit.

This is stupid. Are we 14.

Should I get another Knödel out of
the garden, like a head of salad?

Stop pissing us off.

Never mind. I have extra
for unforeseen situations.

SHITuations!

- Is there a problem?

- No, no, no.

It's a man's party, no money.

Sit down! The Knödel are getting cold!

- So what is it you do professionally?

- Oh, I'm a student.

- University, eh?

UCLA or what?

They're collapsing.

- No, no college.

I take my finals this year.

She's a school girl

- What are they saying?

- That you screw around.

Who cares if he brings a school
girl to Germknödeln.

Quit provoking.

- Does this contain alcohol?

She's asking if the beer has alcohol.

(group laughing)

I'm done!!

Fucking Knödel shit!!

(dishes clattering)

(Shulzov sighing)

- Edwin!

- So how much money do you actually have?

- You mean cash and stocks and all?

- Yeah, of course all together.

- About 280 million.

- Do you realize that most
of this money is stolen?

Why do you need so much money anyway?

- I want to retire when I'm turning 38.

This is our policy.

- For all of you.

- All.

(Edwin speaking in foreign language)

(Baldi speaking in foreign language)

(dog barking)

- Rosa.

I wanted to ask you, Rosa.

- You don't like nature, do you?

- I don't know what to do with it.

- Then why do you bring me here?

- Because.

(dog barking)

Rosa.

Rosa.

(Rosa scoffing)
Rosa.

I feel like I'm drowning, Rosa.

(Rosa chuckling)

Yes.

Please tell me, Rosa.

Tell me please how many
boyfriends you had.

- How many girlfriends
did you have, Baldi?

(Baldi chuckling)

- You're my first.

- I'm not your girlfriend.

(dog barking)

- Rosa, you're killing me.

- Bladi,

are you aware of the fact that
90% of what writers create

only make others wealthy?

If a successful writer
gets 10% of his sales,

he's considered lucky

and you don't even give 'em this minimum.

As a matter of fact, you
should give 'em much more.

- Why do you want me to be the guinea pig

for all the others?

- Because I met you, not the others.

It was your bad luck that you
came across me and Shulzov.

- No. Good luck, Rosa.

I call it my lucky number.

Rosa,

can I ask you something?

(car horn honking)

- Look, Saint Peter.

The one with the keys.

San Pedro.

That's my father's name.

- Marry me, Rosa.

Please.

(knife grinding)

(dog barking)

- Can you find all the
writers you've signed up?

Can you break down all
the royalties you've kept?

Can you and will you pay
your debt to them correctly

and without unnecessary delay?

- Rosa,

don't you have the
smallest question about us?

Hmm?

- Oh, hi Joseph.

Can I have some coffee?

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- I'm good, thanks.

(Rosa chuckling)

(Fritz chuckling)

(knife thudding)

You basket case!

Are you nuts?

Crazy or what?

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

- I think I took too much of a risk.

- It's all my fault.

- I told her there might
be a way of finding out

if his nasty business really exists

and that would be to check
on it and its location.

- It's all my fault.

- I bought her the
roundtrip ticket (slaps)

and Rosa went.

I think

I took too much of a risk.

- Senora Conuela's husband is back.

- Stop it.

Stop it! (shrieks)

(fist bashing)

Bruno, run!

(apple crunching)

- Tastes different than ours.

So how come you don't have
any female partners here, huh?

- We didn't want to be distracted.

- Uh-huh.

- What do you think about my question?

You think about my question?

- Baldi.

I wanna finish high school.

I wanna go to college, university maybe.

Shulzov thinks that-

- You can do that here.

- Where's your life, huh?

- What do you mean?

- Where do you live?

- You would not like it.

- Let me decide.

- Okay.

- 'Kay.

- No, this way.

♪ We share a certain hunger ♪

- I show it.

♪ A scent we can't ignore ♪

- Come.

♪ She closes all ♪

♪ Escape routes ♪

♪ Just looking in your eyes ♪

♪ She's shinin' like the full moon ♪

♪ No clouds obscure the sky ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

- Shulzov and you, not
much of a difference

in terms of expensive lifestyle.

- Why do you sleep with your old man?

- What?

- You both told me.

- Shulzov and me? No.

He's my mentor, my very best friend.

- The Mall Owner, Rosa.

- You mean MO?
- Yes.

I see you with him all the time.

It's haunting me.

It's destroying me.

What did he do with you?

How long?

How often?

Does he still come to you?

- MO never touched me.

- You both told me in his car.

- We were just teasing you.

- Oh.

This is too cruel, Rosa.

- You're calling other people cruel, huh?

Look at me, Baldi.

Don't you know that you could be my hero?

No, but you're a bloodsucker and a cheat.

This is why you can't feel anything,

why all your senses are clogged.

They're clogged by your greed.

- I don't believe you, Rosa.

Your father is in jail for
selling you to this black man.

- My father needed to pay his loan.

That's true.

He was desperate.

That's true.

MO gave him some drugs.

My father sold them.

Bruno turned him in.

- I love you.

- I know.

- (sniffles) Why?

Why can't you say I love you?

- Baldi, where are you going?

Baldi, what are you doing?

- [Baldi] Cooling off!

(water trickling)

(Rosa laughing)

- [Rosa] Get out of there.

God, you're stupid.

Come here.

Come on.

(soft romantic music)

(Rosa moaning pleasurably)

(Baldi grunting pleasurably)

(Rosa laughing)

- Don't leave me, Rosa.

I will never let you go.

Never.

(bell tolling)

Sleep well, Rosa.

See you later?

- Sure, Baldi.

(door banging)

- Good morning.
- Morning.

You don't have to go in there, Mr. Graf.
The young lady left this morning.

She left?

- Sure, Baldi.

Did she leave something,
a note, a phone number?

No, nothing!

She wanted to take the 7:53 train
to the Munich airport, I think.

(soft romantic music)

- Dad.

Dad!

Dad!

Oh my god.

You're back again.

Oh dad, you're mine.

Oh my god.

- Oh, my baby.
- Mom!

Oh, I missed you so much.

- I missed you too, mom.

- Hi Miss Germany.

You've come back for a sweet smile.

- Shirin, darling.

- The sun is rising, Miss Rosa.

And we'll welcome you back.

- Thank you, Mr. Hu'o'ng

- Well you look tired.

And what did you read while you were away?

- Nothing. I couldn't concentrate.

- Why not?

See?

- What?

- He changed you.

He changed us.

We can no longer talk about books.

- Shulz, don't do that.

- I could kill him for coming
here and destroying things.

- Why, just because somebody
was interested in me?

You're going too far.

- See?

- I thought this was about the
way he handled his business.

- I no longer care.

Why'd you come back?

Just to see your parents
once more, pack up and leave?

You don't even try to defend yourself.

- Why should I?

- I think it's time to report him.

No?

- We spent the night in his office.

(soft somber music)

Put his entire setup on a search engine,

including a list of
thousands of unpaid writers.

- You think he'll come back?

- That's up to him.

(smooth rhythmic music)

- Okay, we're gonna have a photo op.

Photo op.

Hold on, hold on.

Lookin' good.

All right, beautiful photo.

Yeah.

Wonderful.

And the lady of the hour.

Oh yes.

You are the star.
- No.

(group chattering)

- Absolutely beautiful. (chuckles)

All right, three shot.

Here we go.

Here we go.

- You don't wanna come?

Come on and play.

(smooth rhythmic music)

Are you coming?

- I'll be there.

- [Rosa] You better.

(smooth rhythmic music)

(people chattering)

- [Consuela] Baby, lemme help you.

- Come on, come on.

You gotta admit it was very hot up there.

He spoke too long.

He could've taken 15 minutes.

(group chattering)

- [Shirin] (gasps) Mr. Hu'o'ng, he came.

- Thank you, Mr. Hu'o'ng. (chuckles)

- Dinner's gonna be ready in a moment.

- Oh wait.

I'd like to say a few
words if I could please.

- Shh, shh, shh.

Everyone, silence.

Rosa wants to speak.

- I just wanna say
thank you for helping me

not only so I could concentrate on school

but with everything else.

You know what I mean. (chuckles)

- [MO] Here, here.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Good.

- Hello Baldi, (speaks
in foreign language).

(fabric tearing)

(soft romantic music)

I'll be down in a second, okay?

Wait.

- Mister.

Tea?

Good tea.

Good tea.

♪ We share a certain hunger ♪

♪ A scent we can't ignore ♪

♪ She closes all ♪

♪ Escape routes ♪

(plane engine roaring)

♪ Just looking in your eyes ♪

♪ She's shinin' like the full moon ♪

♪ No clouds obscure the sky ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

♪ We share a certain hunger ♪

♪ A scent we can't ignore ♪

(luggage clacking)

♪ Just looking in your eyes ♪

♪ She's shinin' like the full moon ♪

♪ No clouds obscure the sky ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

♪ I never felt ♪

♪ Sensation ♪

♪ 'Til she played me like a drum ♪

♪ Hearts break like rocky glaciers ♪

♪ Beneath the burning sun ♪

♪ I look into ♪

♪ The mirror ♪

♪ Don't know what I've become ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ Will show you ♪

♪ Who ♪

♪ You really are ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ Everything will change ♪

♪ Play my noble game ♪

♪ She thinks she's got ♪

♪ The message ♪

♪ She wears it like a flag ♪

♪ Keeps changing rules and limits ♪

♪ She knows what's good and bad ♪

♪ Romance left unfinished ♪

♪ The way you cry out ♪

♪ For her more ♪

♪ So why can't I find ♪

♪ My way to your door ♪

♪ Help me ♪

♪ I can't find my way ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ Help me ♪

♪ Your door ♪

♪ I can't find my way ♪

(singer vocalizing)

♪ Help me ♪

(singer vocalizing)

♪ I can't find my way ♪