Hart to Hart: Crimes of the Hart (1994) Movie Script

MAN:

This is my boss,

Jonathan Hart.

He's a millionaire, self-made,

and this is his wife, Jennifer.

She's quite a lady.

Oh, and that's me.

My name is Max.

I take care of them,

which ain't easy,

because when they met,

it was murder.

[♪♪♪]

Are you going to pour

that sherry

or you are just

going to stare at me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's... Forgive me.

It's just that

you look so beautiful.

You sound surprised.

Under the circumstances,

I suppose I am.

Well, then be surprised

and pour that sherry.

I need something

to steady my nerves.

[SHERRY TRICKLING

AND GLASS TINKLING]

Here's to getting

out of here alive.

You do realize, the others,

they had to die.

What are you talking about?

Aah!

I could see it, you know.

The way they looked at you,

especially Munson.

I mean,

killing him was easy.

Oh, Freddie, please.

Julia, Julia, I did it for you.

No.

No, everything.

I did it all for you, Julia.

I did it for you.

No, argh, no. Oh!

Freddie, let her go.

No, it can't be.

I mean, you're dead.

You're dead.

I killed you. I killed you!

[JULIA SCREAMS THEN CRIES]

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

Ugh, are you all right?

Uh, yes, I think so.

Julia, don't cry for him.

It had to be done.

He was quite crazy, you know.

Yes, I know.

Crazy in love.

[CROWD CLAPPING AND CHEERING]

MAN 1: Bravo.

MAN 2: Bravo.

Well, what did you think?

I thought it was funny,

suspenseful, exciting.

And tragic.

Poor Frederick,

giving up all he had

for the one woman he loved.

Well, that's the part

I identified with.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Ooh.

Ooh, crowded.

This David Kramer has what,

four shows going

at the same time?

The man definitely has

the Midas touch.

JENNIFER:

He's quite an eccentric.

He never gives interviews,

and all his after-theater

parties are by invitation only.

Which raises an interesting

question, why are we here?

Ah.

[♪♪♪]

It's fun, is it?

Heh, yes.

KRAMER:

Mr. and Mrs.

Hart,

David Kramer,

and this beautiful young woman

is Dori Maitland.

Dori is my up and coming

star.

Did you enjoy the play?

JONATHAN: Oh, yes.

JENNIFER: It was wonderful.

Thank you, but believe me,

it's nothing compared to what

I'm staging at my next show.

Ah.

Well, we were delighted

and, uh, quite surprised

to receive the invitation.

Thank you very much.

I hope you'll still feel

that way when you realize

I had ulterior motives

for inviting you here.

I have designs on your wife,

Mr. Hart.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, you're gonna have

to get in line.

Uh, besides, she's taken.

That's a shame,

but not the kind of designs

I had in mind.

I wanna work with her

in my next play.

Uh.

So the poor woman,

starved for affection,

took from him that

which he loved most,

The Ladies of Whitechapel.

Where did you find this?

KRAMER:

By luck, and pure miracle,

Mrs. Hart.

Uh, Jennifer.

Jennifer.

I'm in the final stages

of preparing

a musical

based on Jack the Ripper.

I'm producing and directing

because I intend this to be the

greatest production of my life.

We have a script and it's good

but it's lacking something,

so I sent everyone of my staff

out searching for ideas,

and bingo, one of my development

people came across this.

I didn't think there was

another copy left in the world.

I hate to interrupt,

but would someone fill me in

on what's going on here?

The Ladies of Whitechapel,

by Jennifer Edwards.

Your wife wrote and directed

this play at NYU.

Heh.

You never went to NYU.

No, I mean, yes.

Well, I did for one semester.

It was a special arrangement

from the theater arts

department.

I spent a semester

developing this script

and I did all the research

involved, you know.

Some of the theories,

the traditional theories,

the one about the, uh,

celebrated physician in London,

and then

there was another one

about a member of the

Royal Family who went berserk,

but there was one possibility

and it really intrigued me.

And she came up with a unique

and most remarkable take

on an old and tired subject,

which is the possibility

that Jack the Ripper

was actually a woman abused

and neglected by her husband.

Remind me

never to neglect you.

Ha-ha, well, it was hardly

Broadway material.

Why don't you let me

be the judge of that?

Let's go, Dori.

Peter, not now.

Now, let's go.

You know, Peter, you're a good

agent. At least you were.

Why don't you collect your 10

percent and wait in the wings?

We had a career plan

before you, Kramer.

We'll have one long

after you're gone.

Okay, Peter, that is enough.

Do you understand?

Do you understand

what I'm saying?

Let's leave. I am very sorry.

It was nice meeting you both.

Sorry about that.

An agent's worst nightmare.

He's in love with his client

and he worries that someone else

might take her away.

[♪♪♪]

Kind of like the play

we saw tonight.

Exactly.

It's a familiar theme.

Getting back to your play,

Jennifer.

I have a good script but

I could use some of your ideas.

It would mean

coming to New York, of course.

Not on a full time basis,

just for some consulting.

More like this.

Uh...

B-U, B-U, B-U,

Ha-ha.

L-L, L-L, L-L,

D-O, G-S.

Bulldogs, Bulldogs, argh.

Bulldogs!

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, well?

Lucky Buster.

Where is your high school

box of memories?

Well, my high school memories

weren't exactly worth keeping.

Then I met Max and, uh, college

was definitely an improvement.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow-wee.

That was my baby.

A 1950 Ford convertible.

Max wanted me to drive up

to school, in style.

What do you think?

Mr. Salty looks pretty good

in the third.

[YELPS]

No? What about Time Bandit?

All right, we got Up and at Them

in the first,

Split Second in the second,

and Time Bandit in the third.

[DOG WOOFS]

If you're wrong about this,

it's back to dry food.

[YELPS]

I wonder what's keeping

Mr. and Mrs. H?

Technique

was absolutely critical.

Timing had to be perfect.

Really?

Absolutely.

[♪♪♪]

Let me show you. See you had

your arm around the girl, here.

Uh-huh.

This hand on the wheel.

Now, the most important thing

is, you had to know the roads,

the right turns

and the left turns,

see, because when you came up

to the right turn,

you'd go this way and this was

the do or die move to left,

Oh.

see?

Heh.

If you get past this...

What?

Well, I don't know.

I never got that far.

Well, listen,

you'd better be careful

because my father expects us

home by 11.

Oh, we had a contingency

for that.

The old running out of gas

maneuver.

You didn't do that, did you?

Well, it depended

on the girl's father.

You know, we ran out of gas

once, on Mulholland Drive.

Well, that was two years ago,

darling.

You didn't plan that,

did you?

You didn't get home at 11,

did you? Hmm?

[CHUCKLES]

Hi, Max.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

We found some surprises

in there.

Surprises?

Well, that's okay, Mr. H.

I filled up the car.

I'd hate to see you run

out of gas at a bad time.

Pack up some bags, Max.

We're going to New York.

New York?

Yeah.

We're going to do

a Broadway musical, Max.

It should be fun.

You mean with lots of dancers

and chorus girls

showing a lot of leg?

That kind of musical?

Something like that.

What do you think?

Ah, it'll be Junior's first

trip to the Big Apple.

You don't know

what you're in for, pal.

I'm gonna teach you

something about attitude.

You're gonna say, hey, I'm

walking here. I'm walking here.

[♪♪♪]

You know this was supposed

to be my show.

Your show? Call security.

Gee, I don't remember

ever seeing your name

above the title.

You know damn well what

I mean, Kramer.

You promised me

your next show.

I already started working

on the preliminaries

and it was a hell of a lot more

inventive than this garbage.

KRAMER:

Well, this is a big show, Hal,

and you just don't have

the experience.

HAL:

You mean you don't have the guts

to give me my shot.

You're a gutless liar,

Kramer.

Let's see what the press does

with that.

KRAMER:

Get out of my theater, Hal.

Get out and go home.

HAL:

This isn't the end of this.

Hey. Hey.

Well, that was stupid, Trask.

Now get out of here.

Go home. Right now.

We're gonna

have to remake that.

Whatever it takes do it.

JENNIFER:

David?

Jennifer.

I hope this wasn't

the wrong time to come.

No, you came at a great time.

Come on up.

Okay.

Besides, I would think

that any time you walked into

a room would be a great time.

Oh, heh, I hope you feel

that way after we work together.

Well, in this line of work

we're gonna run through

a lot of feelings together.

Now come here.

I want you to stand right here.

Right here?

Right here.

Charlie, will you kill

the house lights

and give me the first cue?

Now, just imagine a few hundred

people out there in the dark.

All eyes are on the stage.

It's so quiet

you can hear them inhale.

Do you feel it?

[♪♪♪]

I feel my knees shaking.

Heh, well, this is my 16th show

and I still get goose bumps.

Okay, Charlie, thanks.

Ooh, heh, wow.

Do you know,

I am so glad you made it here.

Ah, thank you.

Have you gotten settled?

Well, I dropped Jonathan

and Max off at the apartment

and came straight here.

Great. I love that.

It's called being a trooper.

Jody?

Jennifer Hart,

Jody, my assistant.

How do you do?

Great to meet you, Mrs. Hart.

Jody, would you please show

Mrs. Hart around the theater,

introduce her to everyone

and make her feel at home?

Yes, sir.

You and I will work

together later.

Good, great.

Well, then I'll see you later.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Well, this is

the old lighting board.

It doesn't work anymore,

but David keeps it around

because it reminds him

of his school.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So you're the lady

who wrote the masterpiece

that's going to save us all.

Well, I don't know about that.

I'm Alan Watson.

Oh.

These are my sets.

How do you do?

They're wonderful.

You haven't done Broadway

before, have you?

No.

Well, good luck.

Hope you know what you're

getting yourself in for.

[♪♪♪]

Me too.

I'll show you

the dressing rooms.

Ah.

What do you think of this?

For the dressing room, act two.

It's, uh, very nice.

Where'd you find it?

Oh, it's amazing what

you can find around this place

if you poke around enough.

Lots of nooks and crannies.

Why am I telling you?

It's your theater.

Well, there are probably

parts of it

that even I haven't seen yet.

Really?

Anyway, what do you think?

I think you found it

but that doesn't surprise me.

[CHUCKLES]

Thanks for sticking up

for my sets back there.

All in a day's work.

I, uh, just wanna say

how much I enjoy

working with you, Mr. Kramer.

You're an interesting man.

This is an interesting place.

I'd like to think we have

a long future together.

Just keep up the good work.

That's all it takes.

Right.

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

For you.

Boodles, you look wonderful.

I've missed you.

KRAMER:

I think we still have too many

lead women in the piece.

They take the focus off

of Kitty.

The focus has to be on Kitty,

just like in your version.

What if we combine

Claire and Kitty?

One woman, mostly Kitty, but

with some of Claire's problems?

That's perfect.

Claire has a terrific number

right after the funeral.

It's very moving

and it's perfect for Kitty.

I knew I made the right decision

by asking for your help.

Ah.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

No, we needed a break anyway.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

You know, your wife

is very talented, Mr. Hart.

Oh.

Very good instincts.

I think it was her instincts

that first attracted me to her.

I thought you might be free

for lunch.

One hour.

We're on a tight schedule.

I'll see you later.

Well, how's it going?

Oh, great, great.

Isn't this a wonderful

old theater?

Full of little passageways

and all.

Oh, you see this?

This is a big back drop

that's going to have the whole

of Whitechapel Street on it.

Ah,

that's the lighting board.

They're mixing it all together,

and, uh, viola, the theater.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[MAN SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN:

So you were just standing there

when this thing happened?

As I told you,

I was talking to my husband

on the edge

of the proscenium.

Excuse me? Proscenium? What is

that, some kind of Greek word?

On the edge of the stage.

I was describing the set.

Too bad

the set designer's dead

or he could explain

the set to us, in English.

Alan Watson,

do either of you know this guy?

We just got here

yesterday, lieutenant.

Detective.

Detective Frank Giordano.

Lieutenant is something

they're keeping from me

to give my mother still

a little bit more to pray for.

You know what I'm saying?

Heh.

Mrs. Hart, um, did you,

by any chance, hear anything

before this guy

dropped in on you? A fight...

Uh, some kind of argument,

something I can put in here

to make it look like I'm

a professional police officer?

You may not know it but

they grade us on this stuff.

KRAMER:

Look, detective, unless you got

some reason to be suspicious,

I got a show to open here.

I don't need the negative

publicity and word of mouth.

What happened, happened.

It was a tragedy.

No question about it,

but unless you have some reason

to believe otherwise,

it would appear

that it was nothing more

than a terrible accident.

Heh, yeah,

like my first marriage.

Look, Mr. Kramer,

some guy goes up in the flys,

is that what you call it?

Some guy goes up in the flys,

get tangled up in rope

and then he falls.

Now what are the odds that rope

will wind up around his neck?

I didn't know

we were playing the odds.

I'm a cop.

If something goes down

that beats the odds,

my nose sure as hell

better start twitching

or I might as well partner with

my cousin Dom at the bakery.

By the way,

you like cannolis?

Veneztia Bakery, Mulberry

Street, best in the city.

Is that all, detective?

That's all for now, Mr. Hart,

but as they say

in these circumstances,

don't leave town

for a while, okay? Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

MAN:

You gotta your gnocchi,

you gotta your zabaglione,

you gotta your Ziti al Forno,

you gotta whatever

your gorgeous face wants.

Oh, thank you, heh.

Well, it's quite a selection.

What do you suggest?

You a beautiful woman.

I can tell just by looking

at you, what you like.

Oh?

I make a choice for you.

I give you the best

in the house.

Okay.

Mostacciolli Novacento Quatro.

Are you Italian?

No, I'm Jewish

but I need the job.

if you don't mind,

novacento.

Cento, cento,

well, novacento, good.

I'll have that.

MAN: And you?

Well, let's see.

Come on, Christmas is coming.

What do you suggest?

Spaghetti and meatballs.

Ciao.

Bye.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I love New York.

Yeah, I know why.

Why?

Because all the waiters

flirt with you.

Oh--

Food's great here,

but they're a little slow,

so I took the liberty

of getting you something.

Vito, can you bring three

glasses over here? Thank you.

Why don't you join us?

Have some lunch?

Heh, no, thanks.

I gotta watch the gut.

Nothing burns a hole

in the old stomach lining

better than Italian deli.

Thank you for sharing that.

You know what? Maybe I will

just pick at this a little bit.

Why do we have the pleasure

of your company?

Mr. Hart, I had to think

about this for a few minutes.

Do I talk to the wife alone,

do I talk to the husband

and wife together,

see what kind of reactions

I get?

The stuff they don't teach you

in the academy. It's amazing.

Maybe you missed it

when you were out snacking.

Heh, that's funny,

but, Mrs. Hart,

is this your signature?

It looks like it.

Mr. Hart?

If Jennifer says

that's her signature,

then I suppose it was.

No, no.

Can you pass me the wine?

Allow me.

This signature was, uh,

torn off this note.

I made some copies

and I just tore it off just now.

Very dramatic.

Darling?

I liked it.

Go ahead, read it.

"I'll never forget

Wednesday night. Jennifer."

What is this supposed

to mean?

That's also your handwriting,

right?

It looks like it.

"I'll never forget

Wednesday night. Jennifer."

You got here Wednesday afternoon

didn't you, Mrs. Hart?

That's right.

How well do you know

this Alan Watson?

I don't know him at all.

If you have something to ask,

detective,

why don't you just ask it?

Heh.

Yes, I know I can be annoying

and I'm working on it,

I swear, I am,

but, uh, this note was found

on the body of the deceased.

It was folded

neatly in his wallet

like it was important

to him.

Detective Giordano--

Easy, Mr. Hart. We'll get there.

You better.

[SIGHS]

You know what this is?

A key.

[CHUCKLES]

My many years

of detective work

have clued me

into this fact,

but, uh,

do you recognize it?

No, it's not one of

mine. Darling?

I never saw it

before.

What's this all about?

Well, this key was wrapped

up in the note

and I just thought there might

be some kind of connection.

One last thing,

it's more important

now that you folks

stick around

because, uh, things are

starting to get messy,

which means

if we're onto something,

I wouldn't want you

leaving town

when we're in the middle

of things.

Thanks for the olives

and the wine.

Enjoy.

Uh-huh.

Excusa. Mangia.

Here's to you.

JENNIFER:

Giordano

was right about one thing.

What's that?

That Italian deli.

I can feel it lying

in wait.

That's part

of its charm.

Heh.

What's that?

That's it.

That's what?

I owed you 15 minutes.

It's your turn.

Oh, no, no, no,

you owed me 22 minutes,

and there's ten

minutes left.

Ten minutes?

Uh-huh, ten minutes.

Oh, you're tough.

Heh.

Next thing I know

I'll be punching time cards.

Do you doubt

my word?

You do realize that

we're both pretty good suspects

as far as Detective Giordano

is concerned?

Well, for what it's worth,

I don't believe you

had anything to do with it.

I got word through

the grapevine

that some of the backers

are pulling out.

Kramer's looking

for new blood.

Really?

Well, that's too bad.

Don't worry, you're being

massaged by the new blood.

Oh, darling,

you don't have to do that.

Ah, something's

going on.

I don't want you

there alone.

If there's trouble,

I want to be close by,

and if I have money

in the show,

I have a good reason

for hanging around the theater.

You're wonderful.

I have a confession

to make.

I lied about the ten minutes.

It's your turn.

You got pretty scratchy

for the ten minutes.

Well, ten minutes

is ten minutes.

You're telling me.

[LAUGHS]

♪ Why do I feel caught again ♪

♪ Why can't my soul be free ♪

♪ Will demons

I have fought before ♪

♪ Come for me ♪

She is wonderful.

Did you doubt me?

Oh, heh, stop.

♪ I appear beside myself ♪

♪ And who's inside of me ♪

♪ If I appear beside myself ♪

♪ What stranger lives inside ♪

Hi.

♪ Of me ♪

That was lovely,

Dori.

Would you wait on stage

a few minutes?

I have a few things I'd

like to go over with you

in your dressing room.

Great.

I think this would be a

good time to tell him.

Would you order lunch

for two?

Sure.

Good.

Ah, Jonathan,

I didn't see you come in.

I thought you'd be out finding

some companies to buy.

Actually, I came to do a little

business here.

Say hello to your new partner.

My partner?

Well, I figured that if

David Kramer was doing a show,

and to top it off

with the woman I love,

what better way

to spend my money?

Besides, I've always been

fascinated by the theater,

and I thought this would be

a good way to get involved.

Well, you might wanna know

who you're dealing with

before you waste

your money.

This man's a liar.

He's untrustworthy, dishonest--

Ah, Jonathan Hart, Hal Trask.

Hal seems to feel that I have

reneged on a promise to him.

Think nothing, Kramer.

I know what you said.

I also know what happened

to Alan Watson.

With him dead,

you need me now, Kramer.

The sets are finished.

They're Alan's sets

and they're brilliant.

When the show opens,

but a ticket, study them.

You'll get there.

You're a real bastard.

At best.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Well, welcome to the theater,

and thank you.

I hope your faith in me

will pay off.

I have no doubt

that it will.

Listen, I'd like to work

through lunch with Jennifer.

No problem.

I'm gonna go to the gym

and then I'll check on Max.

JENNIFER: Umm, okay.

See you later.

Wasn't that number a smash?

Terrific.

JONATHAN:

Something wrong, Max?

Seems like

you're not all here.

I ain't been all here

since I got here, Mr. H.

Well, what's going on?

Katherine's going on.

Katherine Kendrick,

next door.

Oh, that kind of

what's going on.

How bad is it?

As bad as it gets.

She calls me Boodles.

Heh, that bad, huh?

[♪♪♪]

Have you discussed it

with her?

I got close, but I wound up

handing her the pepper instead.

Are you thinking what

I think you're thinking?

I'm afraid I might be,

but it's difficult to

understand women nowadays.

JONATHAN:

Yeah, it sure is.

It's difficult to understand

women yesterday, today,

and, uh,

I'm sure tomorrow.

MAX:

Yeah, you are right, Mr. H.

Um, look, Max

if you're thinking

about getting married,

you shouldn't worry

about me and Jennifer.

Whatever you want,

we're behind you.

We love you, and all we want

is the best for you.

Thanks.

You know,

you once told me

when I was in trouble

and had a difficult time

making a decision,

that, uh, life's chances

were like today's lettuce.

It's crisp

and new today,

brown and wilted

if you let them lay around.

You know what

I think you should do?

What?

Go for it.

Thanks. Thanks.

Come on Freeway, let's go.

I gotta go think.

I'll be upstairs, Max.

[DOORKNOB CLICK

AND DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

[GUNSHOT]

[FIRE ALARM WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN:

Cast on stage

in ten minutes.

David.

KRAMER: Jonathan, unbelievable.

I just heard

what happened.

I'm glad you're all right.

So am I.

You know, Jennifer, you didn't

have to come back here.

Why don't the two

of you just go on home?

Darling?

Well, actually I think

I'd like to stay.

It might be safer.

Exercise doesn't seem to be

too good for my health.

[CHUCKLES]

In that case,

make yourself comfortable.

We'll be going over the

Kitty Constable scene

in about ten minutes.

I could use your help.

Good. Oh, we'll be right

here. Shall we?

[SIGHS]

Are you all right?

Oh, I keep thinking

about that Giordano.

He had cops crawling all

over the locker room

and he never showed up

at the crime scene.

Ah.

GIORDANO:

Crime scene. I like that.

Very professional,

and then I'm supposed to ask

if you got a good look at him,

but I don't supposed

you did, right?

Right.

Where did you come from

and why weren't you

at the gym?

Listen, folks, I'm supposed

to be a crime stopper

and a P.R. guy

all rolled into one.

Between you, me

and the walls,

this kind of stuff

goes on every day.

What are you gonna do

about it?

Take plenty of antacid,

stay off the tranquilizers,

go home and get some sleep.

Is that it?

You done?

I wish. I got like

five hours to go,

but as far as

this is concerned,

I'll fill out

a report.

All I'm telling you

is don't expect too much.

So, uh, Mrs. Hart,

how goes the play?

Fine.

So I was thinking, ah,

well, see, maybe I thought you

could possibly get Kramer

to, uh, give the wife

a chance,

maybe read for one of the

bar maids or something?

What can I tell you?

Showbiz.

Makes everybody

a little crazy.

So it seems.

Heh.

I hear you're putting money

into this shebang too.

Is that right?

Oh, news travels fast.

I'm impressed.

That's why they pay me

the big bucks,

to keep up

with what's going on.

I'll see you people.

[♪♪♪]

Do you believe him?

There's a threat

on your life

and he's trying to get

his wife into the play.

Showbiz.

You remember the other day

when I handed you the pepper?

What are you talking about,

Boodles?

It's about you and me,

Katherine.

About making our own recipe,

if you know what I mean.

What are you talking

about, Max?

I'll make it plain

and simple.

You and me.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Who is it?

CHARLES:

Police Inspector

Charles Masters.

I'm looking

for Jonathan Hart.

Yeah, that's me.

How do you do?

Sorry to just barge in

on you like this,

but I heard you had

a little trouble earlier.

I've already been through

that with the police.

You mean

Detective Giordano?

Yeah, that's who

I mean.

Well, if you don't mind,

Mr. Hart,

uh, we got a call today

from a Mr. Kramer's office,

David Kramer.

I know him.

Well, Mr. Kramer said that

Detective Giordano

didn't exactly handle himself

in a professional manner.

Look, I know Frank Giordano,

Mr. Hart. He's a good cop.

He just lacks a little

bedside manners.

Anyway, the department

wanted

somebody else

to come along,

maybe get more

deeply involved.

Well, I was just about

to do that myself.

I'm going upstairs to check

out the locker room.

Care to join me?

It's a pleasure.

Max, I'll be back

in a little bit.

Now, you're sure the shots

came from that direction?

No, I'm not sure about

anything, Inspector.

It's just my best guess.

Find something?

Nine millimeter high

velocity ammunition.

It seems you had a pretty

serious assailant, Mr. Hart.

Well, I'm glad.

I'd have been disappointed

if he was half-hearted.

Heh.

Well, the good thing is

we got a lot of surface area

to work with.

If he wasn't

wearing gloves,

we'll probably come up

with something.

I'll let you know what

we find, Mr. Hart.

Thanks very much.

And, once again,

I apologize

for any bad impression

left by Detective Giordano.

No problem.

[♪♪♪]

DORI:

And I take it you're very

concerned with my welfare.

The whole thing needs to

go just a little faster.

MALE ACTOR:

Just doing my job, Miss.

I'm sure

you are Constable.

Okay, hold it.

You're being too hard

on him, Dori.

When she says, and I take it

you're really concerned

about my welfare,

it's irony.

The woman's been beaten

and abandoned by her husband,

suddenly a constable

shows up

and says that

he's interested in her?

It's a laugh, right?

What she's

really saying is,

"where were you

when I needed you."

Now let's take it

again, please.

This is hard enough without

her agent sitting here,

and I think you missed

a light cue.

I didn't change

a thing.

Are you sleeping with him?

DORI: Don't you dare.

DORI: You let me go. Now I am...

I'm talking to you.

MAN: Reset.

DORI: Let me go.

You stay here,

because right now

I want to find out

just what the hell is...

Dori, are you all right?

Just stay outta this,

Kramer, all right?

It's none

of your business.

She has the lead

in my show.

That makes everything

about her my business.

MAN:

Ho, ho, take it easy.

Peter, Peter, come on.

PETER:

Get off me.

Listen to me, Dori.

I've never led you wrong.

I'm telling you now

you're making a mistake.

Get outta this play.

Get away from this man.

I'll get you.

I'll get you another show.

Just, just do it.

You're better than this.

Get out, Peter.

What? What?

All right, everybody,

let's call it today.

I've had enough

melodrama.

Monday morning,

nine o'clock.

Go talk to him, Dori.

Last chance,

this will not happen again.

[GROANS]

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

I've had worse than that before.

Whoof.

Thought show business was easy.

I'm beginning to learn.

We have five weeks

before opening

and all I've been doing

is putting out fires.

We gotta get some work done.

Is there anything

I can do to help?

Ugh, look, I got a house

out in the island.

It's only about two hours

from here. It's quiet.

No interruptions.

If we left now,

we'd have the whole weekend.

I know

what you're thinking.

Why don't you give Jonathan a

call and ask him to meet us?

I think the break

will do us both good.

All right, all right,

I'll do that.

Uh...

Jody?

Would you ask Pat to bring

the car around, please?

[♪♪♪]

Good night, Pat.

PAT: Good night, Mr. Kramer.

If I may?

Thank you.

That's the way

we do things here.

KRAMER:

What time did Jonathan

say he'd be out?

I don't know.

He wasn't home,

so I left a message with the

directions on the machine.

What? Heh, what?

Nothing.

Just trying to figure

you out, that's all.

Heh, figure me out?

I didn't know

I was a mystery.

I hope you don't think

I'm outta line,

but I'm kind of surprised

you married

into the world

of business.

Oh, heh, I married Jonathan,

not his work.

Don't get me wrong.

Jonathan seems

like a wonderful man,

just not the person

I might've pictured you with,

that's all.

Kramer's first rule

of theater.

It's the unexpected that keeps

them coming back for more.

[CHUCKLES]

Anyway, makes

for fascinating company.

Thank you.

JENNIFER [OVER SPEAKERS]:

The turn off

for Cranbury Hill Road.

Make a left, go up the hill.

It's number 227,

last house on the right.

I love you, darling.

I know this

is a last minute thing,

but I think

David's right.

Getting out of the city

should be good for all of us.

I'll see you later.

[MACHINE BEEPS]

Did you get that, Max?

Got it.

MAX: Here you go Mr. H.

Thanks.

You going over to Katherine's?

Yep.

Is tonight the night?

Could be, maybe.

Maybe not.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

JONATHAN:

I'll get it, Max.

Who is it?

MASTERS: It's Inspector Masters.

Oh, Inspector, come on in.

Thanks.

I didn't expect

to see you so soon.

News already?

Well, no news

on the bullet,

but I just came back

from the theater.

I understand that

Mr. Kramer's assistant

that he drove out to Long Island

with your wife tonight.

Yeah that's right.

I'm on my way to join them.

I'm just waiting

for the drive to take me out.

Well, we understand that,

Mr. Hart,

but with all the stuff

that's going on,

I'd really appreciate it

if you'd let me drive you

out there myself,

just to be on the safe side.

No, I don't need you to do

that, Inspector, thanks.

No, really,

it's my pleasure,

and besides, I just gave

your driver the night off.

Heh.

Oh, don't worry.

I gave him a good tip.

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

Where are we going?

A little detour, Mr. Hart.

This is where we get out.

What's going on?

Take off your seat belt

and keep your hands

where I can see them.

Ah, ah, ah, slowly.

I guess this explains the

gun shots in the locker room

and why no one else

could find the shells

in the back except you.

Just shut up

and keep moving.

Maybe you can explain why all

of this is happening to me.

I have no idea

what this is all about.

It's about dying,

Mr. Hart,

quietly, alone

and out of the way.

Oh.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

KRAMER: Sorry, I'm late.

JENNIFER: Ah.

KRAMER:

From my private reserve,

especially for you.

JENNIFER:

Oh. Huh, I wonder

where Jonathan is.

KRAMER:

Well, it's probably

the weather.

Adds another hour

to the drive, at least.

He'll be here.

JENNIFER: Ah, thank you.

Uh, to Whitechapel.

Oh, to Whitechapel.

JENNIFER:

Um.

I admire your courage,

Jennifer.

I didn't know

I was being courageous.

Heh.

On the contrary.

Driving out to my house like

this, being alone with me.

I'm sure word

of my reputation

has found its way

to the West Coast.

Oh, only dribs and drabs.

Mostly gossip, uh, about

you and very young starlets.

I can't say that all the

allegations are unfounded.

Hazard of the trade.

I hope you have insurance.

[LAUGHS]

You see,

that's what I miss.

Don't get me wrong.

It's not as if my situation

doesn't have its benefits,

but I do get starved

for conversation

with an intelligent woman.

Well, it depends on

what you're looking for.

That's true.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Oh, Jonathan.

Yes.

Darling.

What the hell's going on?

Now, let me get this straight,

Mr. Hart.

This Inspector Masters was sent

in to oversee the case

because I wasn't paying

enough attention?

Is that the drift?

He said he requested it

from Kramer's office.

I asked Kramer about it.

He said it didn't happen.

Yeah, well, Kramer's right.

If he had contact

with the department,

I would know about it,

if I was paying attention.

Look, no one is blaming you

for what happened.

That's very comforting.

Thank you.

The fact is

that I am suddenly on

someone's most wanted list

and I wanna know why.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello. Hey, Sally.

No, I picked the Nicks.

Yeah, what makes you

so smart?

Well, who knew

he was gonna get hurt?

Next time

I'll know better.

What do you got for me?

Yeah. Yeah, got you.

Thanks.

Well?

My cousin Sal

works in personnel.

Checked every precinct.

No Inspector Masters.

No one by that name

or rank

anywhere

in the entire department.

[♪♪♪]

Here we are.

Someone once told me

investing in a Broadway

show was dangerous.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES THEN

JONATHAN GROANS]

Oh, let me help you.

I wonder if he knew something?

Ah, well, they always said

the theater was exciting.

Max?

It makes no sense.

This Inspector Masters,

I keep wondering

if he was the guy

who killed Watson,

the set designer.

If so, why?

And if he did kill him,

why was he after me next?

Huh. Max?

He's not here.

I'll leave him a note.

He's probably over

at Katherine's.

At this hour?

Yeah, things are heating up

in the kitchen.

Really?

Can't you find your pen?

No, I found my pen.

My lipstick's gone.

That's funny.

Getting absent-minded

in your old age?

Thank you, darling.

Now,

what's all this about Max?

Well, uh...

I think Max is going to

get married.

Married?

That really is serious.

That would mean

he'd be leaving us.

I can't imagine

what it would be like

not having him around

all the time.

Heh.

Oh, me either,

darling,

but if it makes

him happy.

Oh, well, I wish him

all the happiness

I've had in my life,

and you're my happiness.

Um.

Oh.

Well, oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Is that better?

[GROANS]

Ah.

Ah, I don't know.

Try it again

and I'll let you know.

[JENNIFER LAUGHS]

Uh-huh, that's better.

Um. Is it?

The cross-fade needs

to have it faster.

♪ You've got to understand

There's someone out there ♪

♪ Won't you please believe me

It's no lie ♪

♪ Someone's heart is beating

In the shadows ♪

♪ No matter where I go

I feel those eyes ♪

♪ Those eyes ♪

♪ You've got to understand

I'm not pretending ♪

I don't want her

looking off to the side.

♪ Can't I make you see

That this is real ♪

♪ Someone's hatred glares at me

Through darkness ♪

♪ I quake at what each

Streetlight might reveal ♪

No, no.

Come on, Dori.

What is this?

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

[SIGHS]

This entire number for Kitty

means two words.

Take me.

She's got nothing

going on at home

except the occasional

black eye.

She's boiling over.

She's empty inside.

She needs to feel

that she's desirable

that men want her for something

more than a punching bag.

She wants someone

to love her

and she wants him now.

Lunch, everyone.

Be back at 2:00.

Jonathan?

MAN:

Yeah. Okay, come down.

I've been thinking.

Maybe you should pull out

of the show.

Well, so why is that?

Isn't it obvious?

It's very clear to me

that someone is trying

to make sure that this show

never gets off the ground.

The moment you signed on,

you became a target.

It's me

they're trying to sabotage.

I have enough on my mind

without having to worry

about my backers.

We made a deal, David.

Screw the deal.

I'll make an exception

this time

and put my own money

into this extravaganza.

I don't wanna feel

responsible

if something should happen

to you.

Well, I appreciate that,

but I'm responsible

for what happens to me,

so let's let it ride.

Well, I've gotta go.

See you tonight, darling.

All right.

You married

an obstinate man.

Hmm, I know.

That's one of the things

I love about him.

I hope he realizes

how lucky he is.

So do I.

How about lunch?

Lunch.

GIORDANO:

Is that great pizza or what?

JONATHAN:

Yeah, very good.

GIORDANO:

"Yeah, very good?"

Are you kidding me?

That's the best in the city.

You're telling me

you had better than this?

Look at this crust.

It's a work of art.

That's pure genius.

I don't know

how you people in L.A. do it.

I was out there

once visiting a cousin.

The pizza tasted like one

of them English muffin things

with tomato sauce

and American cheese

and you pop it in a

toaster oven, oh, heh.

JONATHAN: That's him.

GIORDANO: You sure?

You know pizza,

I know faces.

Got you.

Mike Royston.

For what it's worth,

it makes sense.

JONATHAN: How's that?

He's an actor.

Huh, well, he convinced

the hell out of me.

GIORDANO:

Of course, he's also

a three-time loser.

Can I have a copy

of this picture?

Yeah, sure.

JONATHAN:

Well, it seems as

if Michael Royston

is unreachable, unfindable

and permanently out of town.

MAX:

An actor?

Mr. H, that don't wash.

Yeah, that's true.

Whoever heard of an actor

who couldn't be reached

by a telephone?

Hey, Max, uh...

[♪♪♪]

I could use your help

for something.

What about, Mr. H?

You always wanted to be

in show business, didn't you?

I did.

Well, how about him?

Look, Gold, I've been

to a dozen agencies

looking for the right face

for this project.

I'm getting tired.

I ain't getting any younger.

I walked out of better

places than this,

so if you ain't got

what I'm looking for,

let's kiss

and call it a day.

Please, Mr. Brandt,

or can I call you Sid?

My friends call me

Mr. Brandt.

Mr. Brandt, tell me again

what you're looking for.

Maybe I didn't

hear it exactly.

Late 30s,

respectable looking.

Complex,

if you get my drift.

Complex, complex.

I'm getting a complex.

Wait a minute.

Here, I got it.

What about him?

Just what

the doctor ordered.

Yeah, yeah,

that's more like it.

A definite possible.

Good face.

Good but evil,

I mean, complex.

Definitely

to be considered.

What are the chances

of meeting this guy

before hell freezes over?

Just give me a time

and a place.

The Oak Room,

tonight, 8:00.

Hi, I'm Mike Royston.

I'm looking for

a "Sid" somebody.

I can't remember

his last name.

Oh, thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sid?

Ah, Mr. Royston.

How do you do?

Inspector.

Ah.

[♪♪♪]

[GROANS THEN THUDS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Oh, my God,

he's killed him.

I don't know what it

is about you, Mr. Hart,

but you seem to drag

trouble around

like toilet paper sticking

to a wet shoe.

Very pretty.

You don't honestly

believe

he had anything

to do with this?

Now why would

I think that?

A guy tries to kill

Mr. Hart,

Mr. Hart smokes him out,

invites him to dinner,

two minutes later

the guy's dead

and Mr. Hart's holding

a knife.

It's the farthest thing

from my mind.

Rodriguez, cuff him.

What?

What are you doing?

GIORDANO:

I'm performing an arrest.

You have the right

to remain silent,

you have the right

to an attorney.

If you can't afford

an attorney, cop talk.

Don't have to tell me

one damn thing.

You get to look out

for your own butt

and the police cannot screw with

you. Do you understand that?

Loud and clear.

Jonathan.

GIORDANO:

Take him in.

I think you'd better give

Harry Doyle a call.

Don't panic.

I left my rubber hose

in my good suit.

I had a hot date last week.

Why don't you get up,

Mr. Hart

and, uh, I'll unburden

you over here.

[JONATHAN GROANS]

Aren't you afraid

I'm gonna overpower you?

Heh.

Hell, you out earn me.

That's enough grief.

You put on a real good show

back there, detective.

Are you gonna fill me in?

You're a smart guy,

Mr. Hart.

Most guys I meet

who think they're smart

aren't even smart enough

to be dumb

but you're a keeper.

You're a piece of work.

Thanks,

and you don't think

that I killed Mike Royston.

No, you got

too much class.

If you were gonna

kill somebody,

you'd use the right fork,

if you know what I'm saying.

I'll take that

as a compliment.

GIORDANO:

It was meant as one.

Mr. Hart, I don't know

what's going down around here

but someone sure as

hell wants it to look like

you stuck that shiv

into Royston's chest,

so I figure, what the hell.

Give them a show.

If it makes him confident,

they think they set you up

and won,

maybe they'll let down

and make a mistake.

Sorry about those but I had

to make it look convincing.

So where do we go

from here?

We don't go, I go.

Don't try this at home,

Mr. Hart.

You know, like it says on TV,

leave it to the professionals.

In spite of what

you might think,

I know what I'm doing.

Like you,

I'm very good at what I do.

Twice you didn't trust me

and twice you stepped

into something. You know what?

I think it's time that you

and I started

being nice to each other.

Let's make a deal.

You go back to that

pretty wife of yours,

lead the good life

and let me traipse

through the sewers with

the vermin and the slime.

It ain't much

but it's home.

You're a piece of work.

JENNIFER:

Darling, are you all right?

Hey, we're professionals

around here.

When I work over a guy,

I leave no marks.

I called Harry Doyle.

It's okay.

We're going home.

What happened?

JONATHAN:

We're going home.

They're not gonna arrest me.

Oh, I was scared sick.

Me too.

David, where is everybody?

Ah,

I canceled the rehearsal.

Everything seems to be

falling apart.

You're not thinking of calling

the play off, are you?

I don't know.

I'm thinking about it.

It's not worth it,

Jennifer.

I knew Mike Royston,

you know, an actor.

Had a part in a show

I did two years ago.

He'd been after me ever

since to hire him again

and I kept shining him on.

Somehow I feel

responsible.

Oh, I didn't realize

you knew him.

I mean,

now that Royston's...

now that he's dead,

maybe that'll put an end

to all this trouble.

It may be that he was

responsible for most of it.

Then who killed him?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Nothing's working out

as I hoped it would.

This is the most important

production of my life

and it's just

coming apart.

The truth is,

this play may have been

doomed from the beginning.

It'll never work out

the way I planned.

David, the play is good.

It's very good.

If you're worried about

Jonathan and me,

we can just leave

but don't give up

the play.

That's what I love

about you, Jennifer.

You make any man just wanna

keep on trying, heh.

Oh, heh, well,

the show must go on, right?

Right. You are

a trooper, aren't you?

I'm a trooper with, uh,

the rest of the morning off.

I have a lot of things

I can do.

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow.

Great, that's it.

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

What are you

doing up there?

PETER:

What?

Nothing. I just...

I need to get Dori

out of this,

out of this play.

Kramer's out

of his mind.

He's only gonna

make her miserable.

Don't you see that

what he's doing to her?

Don't you think you ought

to let Dori decide that?

This...

I don't,

I don't know what I'm

supposed to do.

I wanna take care of her.

I don't know

what I'm supposed to do.

Why don't you try

trusting Dori?

She might surprise you.

JENNIFER: What?

JONATHAN: Just looking.

You seem very quiet today.

Only on the outside.

On the inside, I'm having

a terrific conversation.

Oh. What about?

It's private.

Private?

Well, it's private

because if I said it, heh,

it would sound over the top.

Try me.

All right.

I was just thinking

that here I am walking

down the street

in one of the most

fabulous cities in the world

with undoubtedly the most

terrific man in the world

with whom I am

desperately in love.

What do you think?

I think

it's a little over the top.

That's what I thought

you'd say.

What?

Just thinking.

About what?

Well, here I am in one of the

greatest cities in the world

walking down one of these

incredible streets

and desperately in love

with the most beautiful

woman in the world.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

What do you think?

I think we are over the top.

Yeah, isn't it great?

Heh.

[SHIVERING]

It is cold.

Oh.

What's this?

Oh, I think that's the box

I had Liz send up

from California.

JENNIFER: Oh?

Yep, that's it.

What's in it?

The rest of your college

papers we found in storage.

Oh.

I thought

the best thing to do

was to back

at the beginning.

This all started when you

wrote that play in college.

There ought to be some

answers in here.

Well, let's have a look.

Uh-oh.

What is it?

Oh, uh, it's a photograph

of me in college, heh.

Oh, let me see it.

Mm-mm.

I was a late bloomer.

What night of the week

did your play open?

[GASPS]

The same night

it closed. Why?

I was just reading

what some of the cast

and the people who were

involved in your play

wrote on the back

of your program.

Wednesday night

was the best, Frank.

If nothing else,

we'll always have

Wednesday night,

love Marilyn.

Remember the Alamo,

remember Wednesday night, Bill.

I'll never forget

Wednesday night.

The note in

Alan Watson's pocket.

Do you think

it's possible

you could've written

something like

this on someone

else's program?

Well, yes, I think I could

absolutely have written it.

Do you still have

that note

that Detective Giordano

gave us?

Yes, it's in my purse.

Heh. It was in my purse.

Well, where else

could it be?

I don't know.

It couldn't be anywhere else.

That's where I put it.

Oh, that's just stupid.

First my compact then

my lipstick and now this.

What's going on?

[♪♪♪]

Hmm.

If I can't have you,

dear Jennifer,

then nobody can.

KATHERINE:

We're not gonna go through

this again, Boodles.

When you make scrambled eggs,

you use milk.

You're out of your skull,

lady. No way.

If you want your eggs light

and fluffy, you use water.

Look who's talking about

light and fluffy.

Cut that out.

What's wrong, Boodles?

I just wanna see

if you know something

about cooking

that's all.

No, that's not all.

I forgot more than you know

about making eggs.

You use water.

All right, I'll tell you

what we'll do.

We'll make one batch

with milk,

another batch

with water.

We'll let

the Harts decide.

What do you say?

I say, let's you and I

get married.

[SIGHS]

I don't know what to say.

How about saying yes?

Good morning.

Katherine...

Breakfast for two?

Oh, I was just helping.

Bon appétit.

JONATHAN:

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

We have an appointment

at NYU.

We'll be back later.

Everything okay,

Max?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER:

Jennifer.

Jennifer Edwards at the time

but now it's, uh, Jennifer Hart

and this is

my husband Jonathan.

KABEL:

Oh, a lucky man, Jonathan.

So, what's this all about?

A Broadway Show?

Yes, um,

do you remember the play

that I wrote and directed?

It was called--

KABEL: Ladies of Whitechapel.

Yes, I, I glanced over it

just after we hung up.

Is that what you told

David Kramer's people

when they came to look

through your archives?

Beg your pardon?

Professor, David Kramer's

development people told us

that they had checked out every

university in the country.

Well, I don't know about

other universities, Jonathan,

but if David Kramer's

people came here,

I wouldn't forget that.

Jennifer, do you remember

Lebak's first rule of theater?

"The unexpected is what keeps

the audience in their seats."

That's funny.

That's what David said

only he called it

Kramer's law.

Well, that's not surprising.

He was one of my students.

One of your students?

KABEL: Of course.

Who else would know

Lebak's rules of theater?

I'm Lebak.

That's Kabel spelled backward.

David never said

he went to the same school.

Oh, that's odd.

He was one year

behind you

but his name

wasn't David Kramer then.

It was, um, Carl Davidson.

Carl Davidson.

Here's the, uh,

here's the program

and, uh, here's a

photograph of the cast.

There's David Kramer

right at the top.

You've been working

with him all this time

and you didn't know?

Constable Higgins,

Carl Davidson.

I had no idea.

It's always that smile,

isn't it, Jennifer?

The same one you gave to me.

I'll never forget

Wednesday night

but you did forget.

You forgot everything,

except him.

You never forget him,

do you?

Wonderful, thoughtful,

delightful Jonathan.

Wonderful, thoughtful,

delightful, dead Jonathan.

JENNIFER:

David?

[♪♪♪]

JENNIFER:

Is anybody here?

JONATHAN:

Kramer?

JENNIFER:

I don't understand

why they're not rehearsing.

JONATHAN:

There seems to be a lot

of things going around here

that we don't know about.

Hello?

Kramer?

JENNIFER:

Jonathan...

David?

Kramer, are you here?

Is that you?

KRAMER:

Jonathan, Jennifer,

I wasn't expecting you.

I'm up here

working on some spot cues.

Come on up.

[♪♪♪]

JONATHAN:

David?

David!

Oh, David.

What are you doing?

Theater, my dear.

My milieu.

Very effective.

JONATHAN:

Jennifer!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Shall we?

JONATHAN: Jennifer?

Jennifer! Jennifer!

[GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]

You know,

it's too bad that

Alan Watson had to go poking

around the theater

looking for set pieces.

You didn't even recognize

that piece, did you?

It was from my collection,

from the play we did

together many years ago.

I kept it as a memento.

That outfit too.

You wore it that night.

I've always considered it

the prize of my collection.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

You really are

so very beautiful.

I always wondered what

it would be like to kiss you.

[SIGHS]

Do I repulse you

that much?

David, you're sick,

you need help.

Ha, ha, your husband's locked

up in the spotlight booth,

you're tied up down here

with a madman and I need help.

That's really

very good, Jennifer.

I admire

your sense of irony.

[LAUGHS]

Welcome to my museum.

My tribute to the great

and wonderful Jennifer Hart.

I've had 25 years

to put it together.

Twenty-five years

to build my collection

and to make myself something

and for what?

For nothing!

No, not for nothing.

No, you're...

You are something.

You are a well-known producer.

You do wonderful plays.

Do you know why I did that?

Do you even have a clue

as to what it's all been about?

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

When I was in your play,

you barely even noticed me.

Isn't that true?

Well, it's, uh, I mean,

it's not really true.

I was preoccupied.

It was my

first play and--

Heh, such a sweet liar.

You didn't notice me

because I wasn't worth noticing.

You knew it and I knew it.

[♪♪♪]

"I'll never forget

Wednesday night."

When you wrote that to me,

do you know what I was thinking?

I was thinking

that one day you'll mean it.

One day

you'll wanna know me.

All this, tsk, everything here,

I did it for you, Jennifer.

I did it so I could be

good enough for you.

Jennifer? Jennifer?

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer?

That's not fair, David, heh,

I didn't know how you felt.

KRAMER:

Fair? What's fair? Is it fair

that the woman you spent half

your life trying to win over

turns away from you?

Is it fair

that she loves another man

and won't even give you

the time of day?

Who the hell are you

to talk about fair?

What isn't fair, however, might

turn out to be quite dramatic.

A tragic triangle.

A husband, a wife,

the rejected lover,

and the theater he built

as an icon of his passion,

all gone

with one single stroke.

They'll be talking about it

for months. It's gonna be hot.

KRAMER:

Funny thing about

these old theaters.

They're full

of history and memories

but they're fire traps.

A little well-placed

conflagration

and pop goes the weasel.

That beautiful face.

I hope you appreciate

the dramatics here.

[♪♪♪]

GIORDANO:

Dr. Livingston, I presume?

He's got Jennifer.

Davidson? I mean, Kramer?

You know?

I bet no one's ever done

anything like this

for you before.

That key we found on Watson's

body, I tried everything.

His house, his workshop,

his boyfriend's place.

I didn't think

about the theater.

It fits a number

of locks down here.

It doesn't open them

but it fits.

I think that Kramer maybe's got

a little hideaway down here.

[EXHALES]

I love you so much.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Jennifer? Jennifer?

He's got a gun.

[GUNSHOT]

Jonathan!

Don't try to change the ending,

Jonathan. I hate rewrites.

Carl?

Davidson!

[BOTH GRUNT]

[♪♪♪]

Darling?

[BOTH SIGH]

GIORDANO:

That's okay, you two.

Don't mind me, I'm fine

over here by myself.

I just got shot

in the leg

and I don't think

I'm in shock yet.

I still have a pulse.

Maybe you could

hug a little more

then call an ambulance

but don't rush because I'm fine.

There's just a small puddle

of blood here.

Uh, who do you see about

getting a marriage license?

New York, all these people

and they can't get anybody

to do anything.

Max, do you really think

getting a marriage license

is a good idea?

I mean, how well

did you think this out

before you asked me

to marry you?

What's there to think about?

I love you, you love me.

It's a fit.

Yeah, but I live

in New York, Max,

and as attached as you are

to your Mr. and Mrs. H,

I'm just

as attached to mine.

Just suppose that

I popped the question to you

and I asked you to come here

and spend the rest of your life

with me in New York.

What would your answer be?

I would probably say,

"Katherine,

you're a swell broad

but I ain't

leaving the Harts."

[LAUGHS]

You took the words right out

of my mouth, Boodles, heh.

You're amazing,

you know that?

Yeah, how so?

You just got me

to kiss myself off

and not feel too bad

about it in the process.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

I just got off the phone

with Arthur Krasnow.

The Broadway producer?

He read the script

of Whitechapel.

He thinks it's terrific.

Oh.

He, uh, is gonna have

to get a new writer.

Well, that's showbiz,

I guess.

Well, he's given the cast

a two-week paid vacation

and then

they start rehearsals.

Heh, that's great, at least

nobody will lose their jobs.

Well, shall we?

Tsk, darling,

just one last look.

There really is magic

in the theater, isn't there?

There certainly is.

Especially

the musical theater.

Can't you just feel it

in the air?

Why don't we use it?

Heh, what do you mean?

Well, we've got, uh,

the piano. Max?

Got the stage,

got the lights, no one's here.

[PLAYING]

Oh.

Play it again, Max.

[JENNIFER CHUCKLES]

♪ You were meant for me ♪

[LAUGHS]

♪ And I was meant for you ♪

Ha, ha, I don't

believe this.

Ooh, not bad.

Take it away.

Together?

Hit it.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING

ON SPEAKERS]

[LAUGHS]

You were great.

I didn't know

you could do that.

Ooh, boy, ooh.

♪ You were meant ♪

♪ For me ♪

♪ And I ♪

Turn off the lights,

will you, Max?

"Good night, Mrs. Calabash."

Wherever you may be.

[♪♪♪]

Now, that's magic.

Hart to Hart: Crimes of the Hart (1994) - full transcript